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Ironically, Margo’s tragic death will be GREAT publicity

Apartment 3-G, 2/8/13

I know I’m usually all about “What Apartment 3-G needs is MORE MARGO,” but I think maybe what with the last few months of this Margo Somehow Is James Bond’s Publicist storyline, maybe we need … less Margo? I have no idea what the current storylines for Tommie and Lu Ann are, for instance, if such things could be said to exist. Meanwhile, Tommie’s been so disengaged that she apparently hasn’t even met Greg, who is Margo’s biggest client, her across-the-hall neighbor, and (I cannot emphasize this enough) one of the most famous and visible movie stars on the planet. But I guess everyone’s going to have lots of time to get to know each other in the coming Margo In A Coma storyline.

Hagar the Horrible, 2/8/13

Now, we all have some fun around here with the fact that Hagar and his merry band are actually brutal, merciless barbarians who make a living off of plunder and murder. But that fact shouldn’t cause us to forget that early medieval Scandinavia was also a violent patriarchy, where women had to choose between subservience and death!

137 responses to “Ironically, Margo’s tragic death will be GREAT publicity”

  1. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 8th, 2013 at 8:29 am [Reply]

    Bizarro — “Victorious Egret” describes the bra-wearing heroine of the magazine story Clara Cluck is reading:

    http://www.jsonline.com/comics/32402404.html?feature_id=Bizarro&feature_date=2013-02-08

    I know it’s supposed to be a riff on “Victoria’s Secret,” but there are only
    so many egret/heron-based jokes you can do. Right, Dan?

  2. KreatureFeatures
    February 8th, 2013 at 8:32 am [Reply]

    MW: Behold the magnificent Dill/Worth creation! We call it “Venus Vomitus.”

    MT: And so the game of deception begins, as Rod Bassy switches places with the UPS guy. Mark remains oblivious.

    FW: At gunpoint! I like where this is going. Let’s hope there’s a twitchy trigger finger too.

  3. pugfuggly
    February 8th, 2013 at 8:35 am [Reply]

    A3G “Margo Magee, the harvester of souls? Quiet! We may not speak her name in a place of healing!”

    HtH Given that vikings didn’t actually wear horned hats, breastplates or long flowing kimonos, is it possible that this strip is actually about a family of opera singers?

  4. Mumblix Grumph
    February 8th, 2013 at 8:37 am [Reply]

    A3G:
    (SOB) I knew I shouldn’t have left Margo!

    Margo? Margo Magee?

    Uh, no…Margo Kidder. I left forgot to lock up the Sterno, again.

  5. seismic-2
    February 8th, 2013 at 8:38 am [Reply]

    A3G: Did Greg’s hands get burned, or did they get burned off? I surely wish we knew, but the talking-head artwork offers no clue. Maybe we will find out when Tommie formally introduces herself to Greg, and she shakes his stump.

  6. Mumblix Grumph
    February 8th, 2013 at 8:38 am [Reply]

    Cripes…this joint needs an EDIT or DELETE feature, or at least I shouldn’t post while asleep.

  7. Froggy
    February 8th, 2013 at 8:40 am [Reply]

    Hagar: Panel 1 would work well as the setup for Viking lesbian incest porn. Especially if Helga’s helmet had larger horns.

  8. BigTed
    February 8th, 2013 at 8:43 am [Reply]

    Is Margo really so unusual a name that a Tommie would immediately assume it’s her roommate?

    “Nurse, I’m looking for a patient named Jennifer.” “Oh my gosh — Jennifer Smith? That’s my sister!” “No, Jennifer Johnson, my wife. She was in an accident.” “Oh, whew — that’s a relief!”

  9. Liam
    February 8th, 2013 at 8:48 am [Reply]

    Spiderman-How did Daredevil get there? Did he do the same thing Peter and jump from truck to truck?

    A3G-Not the Margo Magee?

    Dick Tracy-That is the camp’s hide and seek champion.

    FW-Is the birth father Les? I would know how he feels.

    Mary Worth-You sure showed those heckling young people that old folks are still able to carry things.

    RMMD-”A masculine child. A powerful male heir to take over for me.”

  10. pugfuggly
    February 8th, 2013 at 8:48 am [Reply]

    ASM Meanwhile, back in NY, The Green Goblin raids the Guggenheim and Dr Octopus takes control of Staten Island Ferry.

    Luann “You see, I’m not clever or motivated to come up with words of love on my own, so I pay $1.50 to have a piece of cardboard do it for me!”

    MT Rod Bassy is such a good fisherman, even the geese are green with envy!

  11. Cloudbuster
    February 8th, 2013 at 8:52 am [Reply]

    Pibgorn: “Are you my virgin bride?” “Aren’t we all?” What does that even mean?

    ASM: I see this is going to be another typical plot where a Spider-Man is present while a real superhero saves the day. I hope there’s elephants. The last two plots both had an elephant. I think it would be awesome if an elephant rampaged randomly through every Spider-Man plot “Ah ha, Doc Ock! I’ve got you now– Oh, no! Elephant!”

  12. Mibbitmaker
    February 8th, 2013 at 8:54 am [Reply]

    HtH: The ol’ medievel misogynistic subservience keeps Helga from letting her husband know that men and women are, indeed, equals. It does not, however, prevent wives like her from being the real boss of the house, as per this strip’s need for modern, yet tired, sexist stereotypes.

    A3G: It MUST be serious — the man registered a mildly perturbed facial expression, barely! Of course, this must concern Tommie, given her bland, unchanging expression — ?? Not so much Bolle’s willfully inept drawing for this strip as Tommie feeling nothing for that horrible human being, Margo.

    9CL: Cute.

    ReFOOB: Young Mr. Go-After-Manuscript-in-a-Fire, ladies and gentlemen!

    MW: Mary thinks it’s all a hopeless cause. Perceptive.

    FW: Oh, great, now they’re bringing firearms into the discussion!

    JP: Neddy the Homewrecker.
    Neddy is a HUSSY!

    MT: Stupid fishermen are so caught up in undersea wildlife that they’re totally oblivious to the great Goose Ballet in the sky right above them!

  13. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    February 8th, 2013 at 8:55 am [Reply]

    A3G –
    Margo in a coma, I know, I know, it’s serious
    Margo in a coma, I know, I know, it’s really serious.

    There were times when she almost strangled me
    But I’d hate anything to happen to her

    WILL YOU PLEASE LET ME SEE HER!?

  14. pugfuggly
    February 8th, 2013 at 8:55 am [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#11):

    “Finally, a nice quiet dinner with Aunt May, I can…AAAAGH! ELEPHANT!”

  15. Droopy Says
    February 8th, 2013 at 8:55 am [Reply]

    Daredevil is blind, but his other senses compensate for that. So what’s he going to think when he gets downwind of Parker? “Smells like–Kraven the Hunter! And his elephant! Attack!” (Remember, Parker hasn’t bathed since he fought Kraven.)

  16. Revenge4Aldo
    February 8th, 2013 at 8:56 am [Reply]

    ASM: You would think Spiderman’s spidey-sense would clue him in to the fact that his long lost twin brother is standing right behind him.

  17. Revenge4Aldo
    February 8th, 2013 at 8:59 am [Reply]

    ASM: Poor Daredevil, he thinks he’s in Brooklyn.

  18. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    February 8th, 2013 at 9:04 am [Reply]

    @Liam (#9): Re: “RMMD-”A masculine child. A powerful male heir to take over for me.”

    I recently read that Lenny Montana, who played Luca Brasi, had a background that was closer to that of his character than that of a character actor. The Godfather was his first acting role. When he went to do the scene with Brando at the wedding, he was supposed to be stoic, but he was so nervous to be in the presence of the great actor that he ended up stammering through his lines. They kept the take because it came across as Luca being intimidated by Don Corleone, helping to establish him as someone to be feared.

  19. Esther Blodgett
    February 8th, 2013 at 9:06 am [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#13): Oh, thanks for that.

  20. hogenmogen
    February 8th, 2013 at 9:06 am [Reply]

    RMMD: I thought that Rex and June would be given full access to a condo any time they wanted for free, with rights to sublet it out for some extra cash on the side. But with the baby as a new excuse to suck all the additional gifts that exist in the world, I’d be thoroughly disappointed if the entire complex, no, the whole city of San Diego wasn’t given up for this fabulous growing family of Morgans – for their strenous work in getting to know the strippers next door.

  21. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 8th, 2013 at 9:07 am [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#11): I think it would be awesome if an elephant rampaged randomly through every Spider-Man plot “Ah ha, Doc Ock! I’ve got you now– Oh, no! Elephant!”

    “Elephants,” sighed Peter. “It had to be elephants!”

  22. hogenmogen
    February 8th, 2013 at 9:08 am [Reply]

    HtH: Women can do anything a man can do! Ha ha! Which is why I invited the ladies group over so we can form our own raiding party for northern France!

  23. LP2004
    February 8th, 2013 at 9:08 am [Reply]

    MT: Once again, we see the world-famous Lost Forest Mallard Geese make an appearance. Endemic to The Southern Part Of The State, they’re found nowhere else in the world, which suggests that these migratory waterfowl haven’t really grasped the concept of ‘migration’ yet.

  24. Skyler
    February 8th, 2013 at 9:13 am [Reply]

    The Viking women generally had more rights than most other western societies of their day.

    But that isn’t funny.

  25. Andy
    February 8th, 2013 at 9:20 am [Reply]

    A3G: I really love how, in static panel sequences like this, 3G always resembles a “spot the differences” strip. The hair, the collar, their relative heights, the fact that Greg transforms from David Hasselhoff into Andy Kaufman. I’d rule, if listing the discrepancies were the option.

  26. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 8th, 2013 at 9:21 am [Reply]

    A3G: “I never should have never let Margo go with those paramedics. I would have had room in my Excel, after moving some stuff around.”

    MW: I have a strong feeling that Mary’s grim determination will net her and John the coveted “Hideous, but At Least You Didn’t Drop It” award.

    Ziggy: “So I went in there and cackled about no more Saturday deliveries, and how they were all going to lose their jobs. Some guy reached under the counter and I heard a clicking sound. Gotta run.”

    FW: Well now that you mention it… What model gun did you have in mind, Darin?

    BSt: Age and marriage have softened Sideshow Bob, I see.

    JP: Something’s not right. If Neddy’s in a ménage with a doctor and her husband she should be gaining money, not losing it.

    Garfield: On the contrary, Bob the butcher is quite willing to slip Jon some extra meat.

    H&L: “Your porn stash is better, though.”

    DT: I love how finding a slightly vintage coke bottle merits a “wow” but unearthing a corpse doesn’t.

    GT: Oh Lord, it’s true. Bobby Ottewill is going to kill the goose that lays the golden playdowns.

    6C: If the art show was at the Leeds gallery while Margo Magee was running it, I’m sure she’s right.

    PBS: Yeah, it is kind of embarrassing when your pun was part of a Smashing Pumpkins album title 20 years earlier.

    S-M: Yes Peter, we believe that the San Francisco skyline is too cramped for two costumed vigilantes. No, you’re not looking for excuses to goof off at all.

    Marvin: Just couldn’t help yourself, could you Armstrong?

  27. hogenmogen
    February 8th, 2013 at 9:23 am [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#11): Jeremy in Zits is battling his own personal elephant. And is more successful than Spidey.

  28. MrGuy
    February 8th, 2013 at 9:24 am [Reply]

    A3G: Greg’s doing a damn good job of choking back those tears, given that he seems to be smiling in the second panel. Or he could be having a stroke, which if nothing else is convenient timing.

  29. hogenmogen
    February 8th, 2013 at 9:28 am [Reply]

    A3G: She was barely breathing! Much like you! Mind if I lean in for a kiss?

  30. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    February 8th, 2013 at 9:28 am [Reply]

    MW Next, during the swimsuit portion of the competition, John struts out wearing a pink Speedo that shows everyone that he is, in fact, a Kosher Dill.
    Mary, in a reversal of the tradition of sporting one two-piece suit, opts for two one-piece suits, but loses points for a bit of wax left clinging from her “Brazilian” two days ago.

    BG&SS Dotty, I know where you can get a nice cake cheap. It has a cake topper that matches your pink wedding frock.

    MT Rod Bassy is a size queen. To no one’s surprise.

    Luann “Exquisite.” Said no Valentine Day’s card ever.

    A3BURNT “Greg lurches.” Really?

  31. Dennis Jimenez
    February 8th, 2013 at 9:29 am [Reply]

    Hagar – Yeah, Helga – he’d kick you in the nuts….

  32. hogenmogen
    February 8th, 2013 at 9:30 am [Reply]

    SM: “Kingpin is in San Francisco! They need me! … Oh, wait. Daredevil is here. I guess I can go home and watch TV now.”

  33. Dood
    February 8th, 2013 at 9:31 am [Reply]

    Mary Worth: Yes, older Americans, feel the inspiration.

  34. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 8th, 2013 at 9:31 am [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#22): That could legitimately be part of a comic strip about ancient Scythians.

  35. hogenmogen
    February 8th, 2013 at 9:31 am [Reply]

    Hang on to your seats, folks. Daredevil and Spiderman team up in an epic action plot of the blind leading the pathetic and incompetent!

  36. Dood
    February 8th, 2013 at 9:34 am [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#13): Do you really think she’ll pull through? Do you really think…

  37. Nekrotzar
    February 8th, 2013 at 9:34 am [Reply]

    “Okay, give me her name and I’ll find out her status” … Looks like we’re in for a heartwarming episode in which Tommie learns about HIPPA. I can’t wait.

  38. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    February 8th, 2013 at 9:34 am [Reply]

    3G – Feelin’ nothin’s easy, Mule,
    Starin’ at those Blues.
    Feelin’ numb was nothin’ much for me,
    Nothin’ much for me an’ my Margo Magee.

    Dick – “Hey, this stiff’s wearing a crown! The guy they found under the car park in England must be a phony!”

  39. Dood
    February 8th, 2013 at 9:36 am [Reply]

    Margo laid up in a hospital, is that like a Death Takes a Holiday sort of thing?

  40. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    February 8th, 2013 at 9:36 am [Reply]

    MW – Given the ridiculous emphasis on the cake walk as the most critical part of the contest, I think the best strategy would have been to bake a cupcake and then count on winning by default when all the larger cakes end up on the floor.

  41. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    February 8th, 2013 at 9:37 am [Reply]

    FC “Well, don’t wear it that way! You’ll smoth… oh, never mind.”

    Cranked Shaft Haha. That’s funny because Ed doesn’t care how anyone is doing.

    FW Amazing! Darrin, you and your biological father have so much in common!

  42. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    February 8th, 2013 at 9:37 am [Reply]

    Heathcliff – Today, we get proof that Gallagher draws in ink. Let’s start with the head. Now the body. Now the… oooh, it’s a long way to that floor! Well, keep drawing legs. No take-backs! No fixes! And anyway, who cares?

    Shortpacked – I feel pretty stupid for not understanding the whole “drama tags” thing. Maybe if I watched the right TV shows I’d get it.

    Family Exorcist@$#@%! YER MOTHER EATS KITTY LITTER. BLARRRRGGHHHHH!

  43. Doug Puthoff
    February 8th, 2013 at 9:38 am [Reply]

    Retail–Cooper looks disturbingly as if he should be living in Whoville.

  44. Dartpaw86
    February 8th, 2013 at 9:39 am [Reply]

    I know it’s a chainmail skirt but Honi to me looks like a mermaid.

    Also I just went on the Wikipedia page to see if that was chainmail she was wearing (Which it said it was) yet this just blew my mind.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Hagar_Family_Christmas_20061225.png

    “Peace on earth and goodwill to all!? O_o”

  45. Horace Broon
    February 8th, 2013 at 9:39 am [Reply]

    ASM: Well, of course it’s Daredevil. Kingpin has two archenemies, and one of them is competent.

    FC: Jeffy’s a moron, part 3,472.

    JP: So Neddy thinks Thalia’s beautiful and her husband’s a hunk. Well, I hope Abbey’s going to respect this perfectly valid lifestyle.

    MW: “We did what we could. I just hope the judges got the death threats.”

  46. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 8th, 2013 at 9:40 am [Reply]

    @Amos Snarkadder, CQB (#30): If you ever put the words “Mary Worth” and “Brazilian” in the same sentence again, you’d better be referring to her stack of Milton Nascimento records.

  47. Dood
    February 8th, 2013 at 9:41 am [Reply]

    From the great comics idea file: Could we get a Hagar the Horrible-Judge Parker crossover with Abbey Spencer donning one of those metal corsets? I mean, both strips focus on their clans’ pillaging and plundering.

  48. hogenmogen
    February 8th, 2013 at 9:42 am [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#1): I’m rather uncomfortable with the notion of non-mamalian knockers, bird boobs, duck decollatage. That’s it. I’m never wearing lingerie again. Thanks for the mammories.

  49. Cayuga
    February 8th, 2013 at 9:43 am [Reply]

    Poor Tommie seems to be under the impression that there is only one woman named Margo in all of New York City. And this being A3G, she’s right.

  50. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    February 8th, 2013 at 9:44 am [Reply]

    @Dood (#33):

    Mary Worth: Yes, older Americans, feel the inspiration.

    Thanks! I do have a few spare hours this afternoon!

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#38): Encore! Encore!

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#46): My guess is that Mary’s record collection is wax.

  51. seismic-2
    February 8th, 2013 at 9:44 am [Reply]

    @Amos Snarkadder, CQB (#30): Yeah, it’s interesting how the narration boxes in both A3G panels are contradicted by what’s actually shown in them. What should we expect from now on? Narration boxes saying “Spidey acts heroically…”, or “Mary decides to mind her own business, and…”

  52. Horace Broon
    February 8th, 2013 at 9:45 am [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#42):

    The drama tag concept is based on the tags toys have that blocks the battery so it won’t drain. The “Try me” models have the tags pulled so they can be used, just as pulling the drama tag allows things to change. And “once the tag’s pulled, there’s no going back”.

  53. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    February 8th, 2013 at 9:46 am [Reply]

    @Cayuga (#49):

    There are others named Margo. But they are of the Blue People. No non-blue has ever cared about the fate of one of the Blue People, and they certainly are not admitted to Manhattan General Hospital!!

  54. Little A.
    February 8th, 2013 at 9:47 am [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#10): LUANN: $1.50? You can find greeting cards for $1.50? You must shop in Costco.

  55. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    February 8th, 2013 at 9:47 am [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#40):

    MW – Given the ridiculous emphasis on the cake walk as the most critical part of the contest, I think the best strategy would have been to bake a cupcake and then count on winning by default when all the larger cakes end up on the floor.

    I have to say I’m very disappointed we didn’t get to see more cakes crash. I wonder if we’ll get to see all the competing cakes during the judging.

  56. Chip
    February 8th, 2013 at 9:50 am [Reply]

    FINALLY! Some honest to goodness super hero action in Spiderman! Courtesy of Daredevil!

  57. Horace Broon
    February 8th, 2013 at 9:50 am [Reply]

    @Revenge4Aldo (#16):

    With a goatee! He must be the evil twin! He probably sits at home all day watching cable TV that he hasn’t paid for!

  58. Kristian
    February 8th, 2013 at 9:50 am [Reply]

    I agree, but that’s what you get for posting using your real name.

  59. Holly Folly
    February 8th, 2013 at 9:51 am [Reply]

    I dunno, after all the things Hagar’s wife has been through over the years, I can really see the rage building in her until charging into battle and smashing poeple in the head with clubs is the only sane option left.

  60. Comrade Denny
    February 8th, 2013 at 9:52 am [Reply]

    FC: Good guess, Jeffy, but actually, it’s your head that’s on backwards. Come here a sec and let me twist it back ’round the other way.

  61. hogenmogen
    February 8th, 2013 at 9:52 am [Reply]

    Abbey Spencer: Communication technical genius

    The email just came in. Therefore, Neddy just sent it. Therefore Neddy is awake and can take a call to clarify what the hell happened to her TEN THOUSAND DOLLAR PER MONTH stipend and stop talking about the HUNK that is married to her new best friend.

    The email: Sophie, Thalia’s husband is a doctor, too! His name is Dr. Bruce Banner. Thalia keeps saying that he’s an incredible HUNK! Huge muscles! I’ve got to meet him! She’s really secretive about it, though. Wonder why.

  62. LP2004
    February 8th, 2013 at 9:53 am [Reply]

    JP:Neddy: “She’s beautiful, he’s a hunk, and they have a perpetually-running money spigot just like Abbey and Sam! I feel right at home… except that at home I’m not the money spigot. Oh, well.”

  63. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    February 8th, 2013 at 9:54 am [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#51): Yes. A day or two ago, I compiled all the A3G narration boxes for the week. It started out with Greg entering Margo’s bedroom and by the end of the week he was in the ER “trembling.” If we use our imagination, it’s certainly more entertaining than the actual story line.
    @Amos Snarkadder (#y121)

  64. Freakin Hemingwad
    February 8th, 2013 at 9:54 am [Reply]

    Zits: Best drawing of an elephant in a chastity belt, ever.
    Charlie Brown: finally outs himself.
    Get Fuzzy: yeah, what is up with Bucky’s ears?

  65. Leonard
    February 8th, 2013 at 9:58 am [Reply]

    FW: This is what we call foreshadowing.

  66. Greg
    February 8th, 2013 at 9:59 am [Reply]

    Apt3G: Greg doesn’t look like he’s choking back tears so much as sucking on a lemon sour while holding in a sneeze. Powerful stuff.

  67. Droopy Says
    February 8th, 2013 at 10:00 am [Reply]

    @Chip (#56): Wait, remember the last time superheroes showed up in ASM? The entire Avenger set lit out for Hollywood, for reasons now lost to history. Daredevil has probably booked a five month vacation at Acapulco, knowing that a Spiderdick-level villain like Kingpin isn’t worth his attention.

  68. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 8th, 2013 at 10:00 am [Reply]

    I am convinced that unless America changes course, we will become the France of the 21st Century.

    Mitt Romney, February 8, 2008

    I’m confident Karen Moy will use Mitt’s quote at some point during the current “Let Them Eat Cake” storyline.

  69. phoebes-in-santa fe
    February 8th, 2013 at 10:03 am [Reply]

    @Cayuga (#49): Well, Tommie was told about the fire that devastated her apartment building – not that she was given any time off to go there (“what would be the purpose in that?”) – so she probably had an intuition that the Margo Greg was talking about was the same.

    I’m still amazed that Greg – the “new James Bond” – isn’t exactly higher profile in New York. But, as someone pointed out, he does have Margo as his publicist.

  70. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 8th, 2013 at 10:06 am [Reply]

    coffee-shoppin’ for the intertubes this morning, as the tubes are down at home.

    A&J: heee! nicely done!

    AD: been watching Avatar the Last Airbender again, I see.

    Doons: yup. baby-bumpage.

    Lio: so THAT is what happened to them!

    Luann: can haz cheeseburger?

    NAoQV: everything goes better with a WWI flying ace.

    PBS: *gigglez*

    SBp: you’d think the German Shepard would be the one with the beer.

    Bizarro: furry pr0n.

    PMP: more furry pr0n.

    JP: she spelled “June” wrong.

    6Cx: is brutal.

    Retail: Cooper has a point there. More sugar, mule!

  71. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 8th, 2013 at 10:07 am [Reply]

    Love Is . . .freakin’ ADORABLE!!!!

    (srsly)

  72. seismic-2
    February 8th, 2013 at 10:15 am [Reply]

    MW: Yes, John Dill, age is just a number, although “143″ isn’t a number that most people get to use every day.

  73. Sequitur
    February 8th, 2013 at 10:16 am [Reply]

    This would be tragedy in the queek household.

  74. Voshkod
    February 8th, 2013 at 10:21 am [Reply]

    @Dood (#47): Sorry, there’s not enough iron in Scandanavia to create a safe-for-work metal outfit for Ms. Spenser.

  75. Shrug, Staying in the Loup
    February 8th, 2013 at 10:28 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#y260):

    ” I am grateful that Iowa is generally considered so boring that the Webslinger is unlikely to come here.”

    Boring? When you’ve got an entire (real-life) Iowa small city reputedly populated solely by werewolves?

    http://tinyurl.com/ba2fevo

  76. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 8th, 2013 at 10:30 am [Reply]

  77. Ratiocinator
    February 8th, 2013 at 10:32 am [Reply]

    9CL: “Long hair is inconvenient” strip #217. (Approximately; I haven’t kept count, and am only going by how many it feels like.)

    ASM: So here’s the deal with Daredevil: for the most part he’s a normal human being who’s in very good shape and an accomplished martial artist and gymnast able to jump and/or swing from rooftop to rooftop and such. His powers are kind of boring, but still useful: the accident that gave him these powers blinded him, but replaced his vision with a “radar sense” which allows him to sense everything around him in a 360 degree field and make out the shape of all those things, but he can’t make out any details beyond that. (A billboard, for example, would appear to him as a giant blank rectangle.) His other four senses are also heightened to a level beyond a normal blind person; he can listen in on conversations happening several blocks away, for example.

    He can be a pretty good character when written well which, of course, he won’t be here. (At least there’s no way he can seem any more inept than Spider-Man, and we might soon be able to make fun of Spidey for getting out-super-heroed by a blind guy.)

    Garfield: “Ruin”? Jon might end up getting FREE bacon after this. (Of course, it might end after a certain period has elapsed with him failing to put out, but it’s better than nothing.)

    JP: Who is the forty-something blonde in panel three and why is she saying Sophie’s line?

    Luann: Is it just me, or would most people find it weird if their romantic partner told them “You are exquisite”?

    RMMD: Having sired a male heir, Rex is going to spend the rest of the night trying (and failing) to contain the pride he feels in his sperm.

    Slylock: Weber can be so heartless! That poor mouse is SHY, and yet he is being cruelly thrust before the eyes of millions–perhaps billions–of judgmental readers who will post comments about his attractiveness or lack thereof, probably very cruel ones. This is the kind of thing that can WRECK a shy mouse’s LIFE, Bob Weber Jr. you monster!

  78. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 8th, 2013 at 10:36 am [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#73): *snurk!*

    mmm, bacon.

  79. Illustrator Steve
    February 8th, 2013 at 10:37 am [Reply]

    MT – “There’s a SPOT down the lake I want to try…THERE it is just ahead to our right. See, Trail? It’s that big round white SPOT in the lake with Jack Elrod written on it.”
    “Take my advice, Rod. You don’t want to go anywhere NEAR that spot or it will suck you in, HOOK, LINE and SINKER!”
    “Thanks for the tip, Trail. They should post warning signs around that dangerous SPOT!”

  80. sporknpork
    February 8th, 2013 at 10:38 am [Reply]

    Did Apartment 3-G just give up and become a constrained comic?

  81. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    February 8th, 2013 at 10:41 am [Reply]

    Luann – B-Wad has no idea what “exquisite” means. He knows it is a big word, and he associates big words with ‘the language of love’.

    He is lucky, because Toni also has no idea what the word means, and won’t really be paying attention anyway, as she will still be basking in the afterglow of her afternoon delight with Dirk when he gets back from taking Shannon to the store. “Yeah, a card, thanks, great. Well, Brad, it’s time for you to get going. I need to wash my face. Take Shannon with you?”

  82. endless sky
    February 8th, 2013 at 10:42 am [Reply]

    @Ratiocinator (#77): Luann: “you are exquisite” Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Maybe this one was for TJ.

  83. bats :[
    February 8th, 2013 at 10:46 am [Reply]

  84. Illustrator Steve
    February 8th, 2013 at 10:50 am [Reply]

    MT – “I must admit, Rod.You do have a nack for finding where the fish are.”
    “Yeah, and my flock of trained fish spotting geese we bring with us in our van have really paid off for me big time!”

  85. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    February 8th, 2013 at 10:51 am [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#61): Damn spellcheck…

  86. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    February 8th, 2013 at 10:52 am [Reply]

    @Leonard (#65): As Milo Bloom once said; “Foreshadowing — the hallmark of quality entertainment.”

  87. Sequitur
    February 8th, 2013 at 10:52 am [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#83): Wow! That Snoopy gets around!

  88. Ratiocinator
    February 8th, 2013 at 11:00 am [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#83): Love Rex’s face in that last panel!

  89. Conspirator
    February 8th, 2013 at 11:09 am [Reply]

    Clearly, Greg cannot be one of the most famous and visible movie stars on the planet. So, his “James Bond” thing must be some kind of bizarre hoax. Is Margo in on it? Is Manti Teo’s girlfriend involved somehow?

  90. Devious Pepperoni
    February 8th, 2013 at 11:11 am [Reply]

    I’m sorry can we go back to Head Bitch Nurse telling Tommie that there’s been a fire in her building, and then cruelly stating that Tommie going back there wouldn’t do a damn thing? What the hell was behind that? Was she saying Tommie would be of more use at the hospital, or that her friends and neighbors and property were all right? Or was she just being a douchecanoe? My vote is for douchecanoe.

  91. Ratiocinator
    February 8th, 2013 at 11:12 am [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#61): I thought Sophie was getting an e-mail from somebody else. She says in panel one that the thing she’s reading now is for some sort of assignment.

    Of course, it’s entirely possible that the e-mail is from Neddy, who has assigned Sophie to help her think of a way to seduce this Hunk!!!

  92. Calico
    February 8th, 2013 at 11:15 am [Reply]

    #201 + Nedemiah Scudder yesterthread – So Mike is accident prone like that kid Peter in Baby Blues constantly breaks stuff. Huh.
    I haven’t watched Survivor in ages.

  93. Shrug, Clouding His Own Mind
    February 8th, 2013 at 11:20 am [Reply]

    @Cayuga (#49):

    “Poor Tommie seems to be under the impression that there is only one woman named Margo in all of New York City.”

    Well, Margo Lane, the Shadow’s sidekick, has been rather quiet lately.

  94. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 8th, 2013 at 11:21 am [Reply]

    @Amos Snarkadder, CQB (#50): Wax cylinders? Yes, I could see her getting a present from that nice Mr. Edison.

  95. Sequitur
    February 8th, 2013 at 11:22 am [Reply]

    If you stare long enough into the face of infinity you will see Ripleys!

    MATTY SALLIN from New York, has invented an alarm clock that wakes you with the smell of BACON!

    queek! Are you paying attention?!

  96. Calico
    February 8th, 2013 at 11:28 am [Reply]

    Abbey, why you just fucking e-mail Neddy yourself? Or don’t you know how?

    And, I laughed out loud at today’s FOOB – it was actually funny in an unironic sense.
    I think it was partially Michael being too stupid to go to a neighbor’s house, and Elly saying “Thank God”, which I’ve never heard her say before.

  97. Calico
    February 8th, 2013 at 11:28 am [Reply]

    *why don’t you*

    Sorry to sound like some C-rate (c)rapper.

  98. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 8th, 2013 at 11:31 am [Reply]

    MT: Mark & Rod’s excellent adventure continues.

    // Don’t try this at home, kids!

  99. Calico
    February 8th, 2013 at 11:33 am [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#12):
    Micheal Patterson – literary moth to the flame of bad writing.

  100. seismic-2
    February 8th, 2013 at 11:34 am [Reply]

    A3G: I’ve kind of lost track of the action here – is this happening on Christmas morning? I remember that Ari was playing Santa, Margo got drunk and Greg put her in her bed, then the present that Evan planted in her closet blew up. So that would have all been on Christmas eve, right? This is a few hours later, so it’s early on the morning of Dec. 25, isn’t it? Just checking. Also, is Ari dead yet?

    Probably no one will think to notify Lu Ann and Ruby back in East Dakota about the fire. They’ll come back on New Year’s Day and find that the apartment house is a pile of embers. This strip will run on March 12, 2014.

  101. Calico
    February 8th, 2013 at 11:39 am [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#42):
    Now do the spider-walk down the stairs, Jeffy!

  102. Calico
    February 8th, 2013 at 11:40 am [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#1):
    Funny, but no more avain jokes heron out, ok? : )

  103. Dood
    February 8th, 2013 at 11:42 am [Reply]

    Apartment 3-G: Greg’s got a lot of nerve interrupting Tommie in the middle of her job. “Yes, yes, walk to the light, people.”

  104. Da Coconino Kid
    February 8th, 2013 at 11:47 am [Reply]

    Apt 3G: the thing that gets me is how disconnected the two panels are — the second doesn’t continue a story begun in the first, it seems more like the authors were exploring two different directions to take the story … maybe they worked them both up and sent them to their editor, asking “Which one should we use?”. The editor, realizing that no one in their right mind reads this junk, figures “Anything that fills space…” and ships both to the printers.

  105. Dood
    February 8th, 2013 at 11:49 am [Reply]

    Actually, it’s sort of funny if you read panel two first and then panel one. That’s Tommie at her best!

  106. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 8th, 2013 at 11:50 am [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#83): Nicely done moue of despondency in that last panel!

  107. Da Coconino Kid
    February 8th, 2013 at 12:00 pm [Reply]

    Darkgate Chrono-instability: since I read through Darkgate, I never quite know which comic is “today’s” …

    … the Judge Parker where Sophie’s keyboard squawks “mail call” … in the first panel … uh, truly, dueling perkies (as banjo starts twanging in the background)

    Pluggers working from home? I call bullshit — pluggers have jobs where they have to show up in person, clock in, and be glared at by a foreman. And bring their lunch in a lunchpail.

  108. Cleve Barrister
    February 8th, 2013 at 12:03 pm [Reply]

    MW-At my advancing, yet still somewhat youthful stage in life, I take great comfort in knowing that when I’m older, with the help of not more than 1 other person, I too will still be able to carry a cake. So much to live for!

  109. Da Coconino Kid
    February 8th, 2013 at 12:04 pm [Reply]

    @Da Coconino Kid (#107):

    And on the topic of Darkgate: thanks so much to N. Scudder and I’m-sorry-I’ve-forgotten-who-mentioned-it for cluing me in that it was time to re-add Abstruse Goose and Apt. 3G (respectively)

  110. bats :[
    February 8th, 2013 at 1:01 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#98): No, Mark, NO! It’s a trap!

  111. Gerry
    February 8th, 2013 at 1:03 pm [Reply]

    ‘Margo in a Coma’? Maybe. But I’d always expected a Margo-related Smiths parody would be more like:

    The kind people of Apartment 3G
    Have a wonderful dream
    Margo on the Guillotine!

  112. GlennRay36
    February 8th, 2013 at 1:06 pm [Reply]

    GT: “A buzzard or an ostrich? Who would want to eat anything like that? Wait, you said .. peacock? That’s some good eatin’!”

    JP: Neddy is just trying to figure out how to break the news about her new-found polyamory lifestyle. Did you know it costs thousands of dollars a month?

    A3G: Greg, after telling everyone he’s the new James Bond, cannot bring himself to further explain that he’s really the new spokesman for the new brand of glue called … James Bond.

  113. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    February 8th, 2013 at 1:15 pm [Reply]

    @Gerry (#111):

    I’m a mule, and I need to make zippers … just like everybody else does.

  114. Inkwell
    February 8th, 2013 at 1:17 pm [Reply]

    I swear, Hagar the Horrible makes me ashamed to be a woman.

    brb, sex change.

  115. Shrug, Does Not Want a Cracker
    February 8th, 2013 at 1:28 pm [Reply]

    @GlennRay36 (#112):

    “JP: Neddy is just trying to figure out how to break the news about her new-found polyamory lifestyle. Did you know it costs thousands of dollars a month?”

    Actually the parrots are willing to comply for a few crackers and seeds, but it costs her big bucks to buy off the pet shop owners and the ASPCA.

  116. Liam
    February 8th, 2013 at 1:31 pm [Reply]

    MT-The spot is so secluded no one would hear a gun being fired and the water is so deep that if you dropped a body in it the body never be found.

    MW-”It’s in the judges hands now and if they know what’s good for them they will select my cake I mean your cake to be the best.”

    Spiderman-Daredevil is here to save the day when the Kingpin hands Spiderman’s ass to him.

  117. Liam
    February 8th, 2013 at 1:34 pm [Reply]

    A3G-My god, Greg. You are so clean and well groomed that no one would ever know that you’ve just been in a four alarm psychedelic fire.

  118. Anonymous
    February 8th, 2013 at 1:35 pm [Reply]

    ASM: Finally, a real hero shows up. Can the strip be about him instead?

  119. Dennis Jimenez
    February 8th, 2013 at 1:38 pm [Reply]

    @Dood (#33): I’m glad there was some purpose behind that advise spewing volcano cake! And people say Americans don’t have culture….

  120. exapno
    February 8th, 2013 at 1:52 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#26): H&L: “Your porn weed stash is better, though.”

  121. Majicou
    February 8th, 2013 at 2:30 pm [Reply]

    THRILL as Peter Parker, having done exactly dick in Las Vegas, arrives in San Francisco UNASKED to fight someone else’s nemesis, only to discover that that someone else is already on the case!

    Honestly, if the theme of the Spider-Man strip is going to be how Peter avoids doing anything ever, you have to make it somewhat of a challenge for him to escape action. This storyline just started and you’ve just handed him an excuse to pack it in.

  122. Inkwell
    February 8th, 2013 at 2:49 pm [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#118): But, but…! No! Then we’ll have to draw a guy who does stuff! We might even have to write some suspense or something! Who wants that?

  123. Adjuster
    February 8th, 2013 at 4:42 pm [Reply]

    @Cayuga (#49): It’s not just the name Margo that leads Tommie to Holmesian levels of deduction. It’s the confluence of small observations: the drab yet insistent personality, the electric blue suit, the face like clip art from the 1970s… he must be from Apartment 3G!

  124. Anonymous
    February 8th, 2013 at 4:59 pm [Reply]

    Hagar the Horrible: W.C. Fields did the joke better. “You better realize that I [lowers voice so wife in other room can't hear] am the master of this house.”

    Yeah, comparing Hagar to Fields is pretty much gnat-with-bazooka.

  125. Alison
    February 8th, 2013 at 5:27 pm [Reply]

    “Mary Worth”: The cake was successfully transferred. Too bad. Now I can only hope the table Mary and Mr. Dill’s cake is on was sabotaged and collapses under the weight of Mr. Dill’s cake due to someone having removed the screws in the table legs.

    “Hagar the Horrible”: I bet this punchline was funny in 1960 or so.

    “Luann”: Enough of Brad; I want to see Luann and her cyber lovah celebrate Valentine’s Day over the computer. She’s probably made him a sexy card that says “Roses are red/Violets are blue/ Hi there to Quill/in the land of kangaroos”.

  126. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    February 8th, 2013 at 6:26 pm [Reply]

    @Alison (#125): Okay, Alison, put down the screwdriver and back away from the display table.

  127. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    February 8th, 2013 at 6:26 pm [Reply]

    @Alison (#125):” “Roses are red/Violets are blue/ Hi there to Quill/in the land of kangaroos”.

    Wait! Wait, wait, wait. What? Wait just a sec….

    Quill is from Australia?! Why has this never been made clear before?

  128. Alison
    February 8th, 2013 at 7:36 pm [Reply]

    @Amos Snarkadder, CQB (#126): Oh, I would if only I could. Yes, yes, I would.

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#127): Don’t worry, you have to be borderline obsessive about this comic to have caught that little detail since “Luann” has very secretive about it!

  129. Der Kömmëntätör, Herr Schnärkïnätör
    February 8th, 2013 at 8:49 pm [Reply]

    MT – Since when do Canada geese have green patches on their heads? Is it St. Patrick’s Day already?

    // Apologies if this has been mentioned before, busy day, still ready through…

  130. Der Kömmëntätör, Herr Schnärkïnätör
    February 8th, 2013 at 8:50 pm [Reply]

    @Der Kömmëntätör, Herr Schnärkïnätör (#129):

    Poteet’s gonna be pissed at the color monkeys!

  131. Sgt. Stoned
    February 8th, 2013 at 9:48 pm [Reply]

    H&L: Hi has found Chip’s weed stash and is truly living up to his name.

    Lockhorns: Somehow, I have never seen the Lockhorns as globetrotters.

  132. parcheesi
    February 8th, 2013 at 10:35 pm [Reply]

    Was Scandinavia a patriarchy? I heard otherwise.

  133. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    February 9th, 2013 at 4:07 am [Reply]

    @Liam (#117): He’s not just cleaned and well-groomed; he’s managed to take off a sweater and put on a jacket with his burned hands.

    Of course, this is also the same guy who changed from his pajamas into shirt, pants, and sweater in between axe strokes when hacking down Margo’s door, so perhaps this is not as amazing a feat as it seems.

  134. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    February 9th, 2013 at 4:10 am [Reply]

    @Amos Snarkadder, CQB (#30): Clearly, that “exquisite” Valentine’s Day card is aimed at the elusive male-thrall-of-a-Burber market.

    Too bad it misfired and caught the eye of Brad, who may have the thrall part down, but not the “to a nymphomaniac Creature of Pure Art” part.

  135. Anonymous
    February 9th, 2013 at 3:46 pm [Reply]

    @Inkwell (#122): Well, granted, we wouldn’t have as much chance to heckle, but still…

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