The Comics Curmudgeon

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Metapost: Row, row your comments of the week

COTW in a moment, but first another exciting photo of a reader in Comics Curmudgeon gear! Today we have faithful reader Gold-Digging Nanny, she of I Found All Six fame, seen here on a very scenic boat ride.

She reports:

We went camping on the Upper Payette Lake over the Fourth of July weekend. We did some hiking and canoeing. I saw a few deer, an osprey, snakes, toads, and Slylock, who wandered into our campground briefly one morning and, we believe, returned the next morning to rummage through our garbage, presumably for clues … As you can see, I took the AJGLU 3000 with me. I brought a computer battery pack for it, but I’m afraid I only got error messages about an “incompatible power supply” and something to do with gerbil wheels.

And now, what you’ve all been waiting for … the comment of the week!

“I think I’ll make scampi! See, motherfuckers? I’m this boring, and yet you still read me every day!” –Edward

As you can see, this was a particularly COTW-candidate-rich week:

“I understand that the Vulture’s got some type of anti-gravity gadget and that he wears feathers and a beak and all, but what exactly makes him a super-villain and so difficult for the police to handle? Is it that he inadvertently induces laughing fits? Do the cops start feeling like they’re battling a character from Sesame Street or some Mardi Gras dancer? Are they concerned he might regurgitate armadillo parts all over them?” –PeteMoss

“So one well-documented dinner, two missed ones, and we are at ‘take care of yourself (because I won’t)’? Wow. Not only does Ron ‘not like seafood’ — he doesn’t even want to ‘try the veal.’” –Mel

“I think TJ is a stripper. I would certainly explain the wild outfits and cheery outlook.” –Smash

“I’m beginning to think that Mary Worth is actually Marxist agitprop meant to reveal the disconnected emotional emptiness that necessarily comes from slavish devotion to bourgeois morality. Meanwhile, today’s Gil Thorp (having shed its Brechtian distancing devices in favor a ‘tranche de vie’ naturalism) captures all the energy and excitement of watching baseball on TV. No, I’m not being ironic.” –denny

“Mary Worth: ‘Oh no! I’m being forced to make a decision!’ [CITY COUNCIL EX MACHINA] Mary Worth: ‘Never mind!’” –monsieurjohn

“So is this it for the Mary Worth storyline? After weeks of absurdly improbable newspaper articles, emergency town council meetings, apologetic answering machine messages, mournful thought-ballooning in empty apartments, and, finally, elaborate plans not to go to a seafood restaurant, all we’re left with is ‘Take care of yourself?’ Talk about phoning it in. At least Ron’s mother bit it before she had to sit through a month of Mary Worth’s life.” –Blynneda

“You know, I think Ted Forth just might be the virile love machine he says he is. He has the makings. He’s curious, willing to play with toys, not at all self conscious, open to new ideas and most likely very grateful. I could see him as a power bottom. It’s just the weeping afterwards that would turn most people off.” –Gabacho

“‘Seafood scampi’ = Tuna casserole + a dash of RealLemon + McCormick parsley flakes on top.” –One-eyed Wolfdog

“I’m not sure what Jeff is doing now, Mary, but it’s probably 19 and ends in an ‘i.’” –gkl

“Maybe it’s just me, but I enjoyed reading the last panel of FOOB on its own, out of context. If there is a community creating hot gay FOOB fanfic out there somewhere, this panel will be their Abbey Road cover.” –glassonion

“I’ve read the first decade of the Spider-Man comic book. It was hilarious and action-packed, with Peter struggling with all these normal-guy problems AND supervillains at the same time. I particularly remember one where he had to fight Doc Ock, but his suit didn’t fit and his mask kept threatening to fall off … Anyway, newspaper Spider-Man is obviously trying to recreate those days, but they’ve only heard about them second-hand and don’t have any idea how to pull it off. It’s like if somebody heard the Marx Brothers were funny, so they dug up Karl Marx’s moldering corpse and filmed it yelling at the TV.” –Froborr

“What impresses me most about Mary Worth is its chilling ability to make me never want sex again. On certain occasions, it has even made me want to go back and undo all the sex I ever had before.” –Poteet

“I think Anthony’s decision to address John as ‘Dr. P’ is an attempt to Fonzie up his image. Sure, we all know that on his best day he could barely aspire to Potsie, but a man can dream, and so can Anthony. Look for him to start calling April ‘Shortcake’ and responding to all inquiries with his new catchphrase ‘whatever-you-say-a-mundo.’ Fonzie’s trademark double-thumbs-up ‘AYYYYYY!’ will be replaced by ‘eh’ and a barely perceptible shrug.” –Violet

“Unless you want Elly to rip your lungs out, John, and Anthony, if you ever wanna see Liz naked ever, you should both go in and at least offer to help with the wedding. Now, I know, I know, you’ll both screw it up and the women will say, ‘Oh, here, let me do it,’ just like when you make love, but at least this way, they won’t go into an insane rage.” –Jamus The Bartender

“I asked her how she found this place, and she said, ‘I did a Google search for Mary Worth, Old, and Ugly.’” –Cedar, on discovering that her mother was a Comics Curmudgeon reader

“Roger’s a born minion, following the shrieked commands of a deformed lunatic straight into the jaws of death. If this Kelly Welly gig doesn’t work out, he could hire on with Ernst Stavro Blofeld. Or Skeletor.” –Uncle Lumpy

“If used correctly, that oversized portrait of ‘Crankshaft-as-Stalinist-dictator’ could be a most potent form of birth control. Look, if you dare, at that grim visage for a minute. Can’t you feel your sperm count dropping, your ovaries shriveling up, your very will to live — let alone procreate — evaporating utterly? Such is the power of the ’shaft.” –Joe Blevins

“While I did have to check Wikipedia to determine what teal and lavender looked like, I can now confirm that the wedding will resemble the corpse of Easter.” –Foobar

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This entry was posted on Monday, July 14, 2008 at 10:25 pm and is filed under metaposts.

63 responses to “Metapost: Row, row your comments of the week”

Cedar
July 14th, 2008 at 10:33 pm [Reply]

Wow! Thanks, Mom!
Foobar
July 14th, 2008 at 10:45 pm [Reply]

AYYYYYY!
Rusty
July 14th, 2008 at 10:54 pm [Reply]

Congrats to all, the COTW itself was awesome.
Muffaroo
July 14th, 2008 at 11:01 pm [Reply]

I salute your principled iconoclasm, Josh! Imagine, having a comment of the week (runnerup) that, if taken literally, would eliminate the need for one of your sponsors — specifically, the “giant Crankshaft poster” comment and the “penis reduction placebos.”

Also, the dang things are funny. The comments, I mean.
AeroSquid
July 14th, 2008 at 11:17 pm [Reply]

Today’s Non-Sequitor Mark Trail

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3180/2669413681_ec791250e3_o.jpg

Parody Stream Revue

http://www.flickr.com/photos/9026046@N04/
Poteet
July 14th, 2008 at 11:25 pm [Reply]

Gold-Digging Nanny, please pardon the kind of totally unwarranted personal comment that makes Miss Manners despair. You’re cute.
Poteet
July 14th, 2008 at 11:31 pm [Reply]

Edward, excellent! Congratulations! And yay for all the funny runners-up, including *small skip* me! I give full credit for my comment to the cold blue basilisk eyes of Mary Worth, as long as she stays safely in Charterstone, far away from the float.
True Fable
July 14th, 2008 at 11:33 pm [Reply]

Whee! Congratulations Edward! And yays to everyone on the float, especially Uncle Lumpy and Poteet, my Queen!

Toss some beads and stuff this way! My ninja goats will look quite snappy in that.
True Fable
July 14th, 2008 at 11:36 pm [Reply]

I adore the Gold-Digging Nanny, she’s just cute as hell! More pictures, mule!!
Poteet
July 14th, 2008 at 11:41 pm [Reply]

Nineteen comments in the winning lineup this week, and nine are about MARY WORTH. Foob is a distant second with four. Moy and Giella are definitely achieving something. Perhaps it’s better not to think too much about what it is.
AeroSquid
July 14th, 2008 at 11:46 pm [Reply]

The Education of Luann. Featuring TJ (at some point)

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3262/2669502947_14b76936a1_o.jpg
Poteet
July 14th, 2008 at 11:47 pm [Reply]

# 8 — Sir Fable MTK, heads up for bead-tossing! I made a few special strings from Cheerios and edible thread especially for your Capran friends.
True Fable
July 14th, 2008 at 11:55 pm [Reply]

#12 Poteet, my queen! – You are the heart of kindness, my regal one!
Xopher.tm
July 15th, 2008 at 12:05 am [Reply]

Something wrong with me…

http://pandorasweb.net/images/fark/casssandra.jpg
Xopher.tm
July 15th, 2008 at 12:06 am [Reply]

http://pandorasweb.net/images/fark/casssandra2.jpg for an “improved” version…
dreadedcandiru2
July 15th, 2008 at 12:07 am [Reply]

FW: So Les wants to know why his books have been rejected by every publisher in America, eh? Three words: solo car date. Nobody wants to read anything written by a guy that out of touch with reality.

C’shaft: I can think of a snag in Jeff and Pam’s plans for an evening alone. It wears a red ball cap and spouts malapropisms.

Zits: Oh, GREAT!! A week dedicated to Flapinboobs trying to get Jerkemy out of bed. LAme.

FBOFW: April gets a dig in at Liz for her habit of standing around bitching because her insane good fortune isn’t as insane as she hoped. The Breath is not amused. I, however, am.
Vakar
July 15th, 2008 at 12:12 am [Reply]

joshreads.com fans are cute and very funny! Well, some more than others. Thanks for the laughs everyone, and congrats Edward!
True Fable
July 15th, 2008 at 12:24 am [Reply]

FBoFW Oh, SNAP! April says what we are all thinking.

Lynnie Baby,
Don’t think you’re fooling anyone with this snarky comment from April. We know that tomorrow Liz will be screaming about April ruining Her Special Day and Elly will be all Muppet-mouthed again, and April will be beaten back into conformity.

Ah my little butter tart mooselet, you are so transparent, like a noxious little Saskatchewan Saran-Wrap Hoser. You’re trying to lull us all into a non-snark state but you KNOW that will never happen with me. I know you aren’t about to show Liz getting all Girls Gone Wild at her stagette, but then that is what Pasty White Folks is for, baby. Bwahaha.

Truman A. Fable
Not for You!
dreadedcandiru2
July 15th, 2008 at 1:08 am [Reply]

#18: True Fable — Having Liz screaming about how hard things have been for her because people asked her to (gasp) make an actual decision is sort of what I expect to see tomorrow. It’s a good thing for Liz that John kept Anthony outside. If he looked in and saw his delicate flower bitching over nothing, HE’D be the one fleeing to Mtigettinglucky.
Ed Power, Cage Writer
July 15th, 2008 at 1:11 am [Reply]

A few yesterthread repsonses…

queek:

“…despite my massive e-mail campaign on My Cage’s behalf…”

Wow. Thanks! Much appreciated. I’ve been having what I’m calling a ‘crisis of faith’ over the strip, and seeing things like that is really nice.

Niall:

“are you saying that you choose the font, but they actually type it up?”

Nope. I send these weird little MS Paint versions of the strip (see our blog for examples) to our editor. Then they go to Mel. Then to our proofreader, then to the newspapers.

I look at the strips btwn each step, but I am a crappy proofreader (I have ’selective dyslexia’…I see things the way I want them to look until someone else points out the mistake :D ).

It just a little embarassing because for a small strip we have a loyal following and I get it pointed out A LOT when things hit the paper.

Zaq:

“with the seemingly random words bolded…is there some quirk of the newspaper game that I just don’t understand that you can enlighten us on, Ed?”

You got me on that one. This may sound stupid, but try to remember I am a novice at this comic strip thing. I still have my day job and ‘My Cage’ is my first published work.

We were told to bold the words by the syndicate to ‘balance’ the word balloons and ‘lead the readers eyes across the dialouge’.

I’ve just left well enough alone since everyone knows the business better then me, but now that we have the new font the bolding is the main complaint we get. If we get more complaints I’ll talk to Melissa and our editor about dropping it.

That’s the main complaint. The most popular comment we get is for a compilation book. Second is for a Squishy toy. Then the bolding complaint. :)
Farley's Revenge
July 15th, 2008 at 1:16 am [Reply]

Congratulations to Edward and all the other fine CoTW runners-up. Each comment was excellent snark!

FBoFW: I admit I felt a stirring of joy at the thought that at least one Patterson refused to fit in the family mold(not to be confused with the black stuff on the bottom of the shower curtain or the stain in Elly’s heart), I know better. This is Johnston’s way of trying to raise our hopes that April will someday, somehow, escape the clutches of her family’s lowered expectations and ride off into the sunset on her Harley* even as she plots a future for April that’s so bleak even Dickens would beg her to lighten up on the poor kid.

*Harley Binkerman, in case anyone was wondering.
Farley's Revenge
July 15th, 2008 at 1:20 am [Reply]

Ed Power@#20: Count me among the people who would like a stuffed Squishy. Or even a real Squishy, although the CDC might take issue with me walking a yipping amoeba around my neighborhood.
Farley's Revenge
July 15th, 2008 at 1:22 am [Reply]

Hmm…could have sworn I closed out that bolding. Guess I got all excited about the possibility of a stuffed Squishy.

It doesn’t take much to excite me some days.
True Fable
July 15th, 2008 at 1:31 am [Reply]

MW Oh for God’s sake, Jeff – MAN UP! You missed Mary after how long? A few days? You’re too damn easy.

And what the hell – An EMBRACE in Mary Worth! You all know what this means — They… they might kiss! Oh the horror, the horror!
Pepperoni Détournées
July 15th, 2008 at 1:31 am [Reply]

9CL: I don’t get it. Is he supposed to be gay, or hitting on her? Hhhhhhiiiii, indeed.
True Fable
July 15th, 2008 at 1:32 am [Reply]

A plush Squishy. Hmmmm….
Pepperoni Détournées
July 15th, 2008 at 1:33 am [Reply]

MW: OK, these two have spent, what, two weeks apart (real time), which makes…three hours in MW land? He missed her that much in just a few hours? How did he get by in Vietnam? Ohhh, I forgot…tranny hookers.
bats :[
July 15th, 2008 at 1:39 am [Reply]

Swell snarkage, Floaters! (and Foobar…the “Corpse of Easter” was a knockout!)

Toosday Toonage (hurrah for St. Swithin’s Day!):

FC: well, neither was “senile” or “incontinent”…

FW: has Les ever WRITTEN something that someone might publish? A novel? A textbook? Anything?
A dozen “I miss you so bad, Lisa” haikus and limericks probably don’t count.

JP: why do I have a feeling that “Parker, Parker and Driver” is about to become “Parker, Parker and Steve”? And that Sam learns the fine art of poultry-raising?

MW: this is kind of sweet, just because Mary and Jeff appear to be showing some affection toward one another.
That doesn’t mean I can leave well enough alone…
http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/2670610738/sizes/o/

FOOB: thank you, April.
True Fable
July 15th, 2008 at 2:00 am [Reply]

FW I feel for ya, Les. Hey, I know what! Why don’t you call Mike Patterson and find out who published him AND gave him an advance! If they liked him, they’d probably LOVE you. At least you seem to be able to write a decent paragraph without getting too purple in the prose.
Luann Yep. Dumb Luann Scheme #244, coming right up!
MT Oh, boy! Is Cherry going to shoot Kelly? STAY TUNED!
RMMD The best thing about today’s Rex installment is seeing what bats :[ is going to do to Andy in her parody. Oh boy oh boy oh boy!
S-M Good Lord, EVERY CHARACTER is either in bed or watching TV. Hello, this is supposed to be an ACTION comic! Dammit, let’s see some action!
Zits Run it into the ground, Part VII.
Mibbitmaker
July 15th, 2008 at 2:45 am [Reply]

7/15:

FOOB: A-PRIL! A-PRIL! A-PRIL! A-PRIL! A-PRIL!……

9CL: Lothario, gay guy, or just known in his field, that guy is for Edda what female-piano-player-person was for Amos. Ho-hum…

S-M: You’re a bad little toad, Flattop Hitler!

R&R: How ’bout that? — Global Warming will protect them from this f’ed up economy. That ought to shake up the pundits!

NS: It’s official — It’s Moose-a-palooza Week in the funnies.

MC, panel 2: By applying directly to the forehead?

MW: Seems all perfectly yecchy. However, if this were animated, we’d see Mary in the last panel suddenly shift her head to the reader, and get this downright satanic expression right at us (red eyes and everything)!

MT: NOW you finally come to that thuddingly obvious conclusion, Annie Oakley?!

Luann: Uh-oh, I don’t like that expression on TJ! Well, I don’t like that other expression on TJ either, but this time for more than on general principle.

JP: “Nobody hates golf”?? I tell ya, for his employer the comic strip medium, he’s a real company man!

GT: “Beisbol bin berry, berry good to me.”

FW: Hell, Mikey Patterson’s publisher rejected Les! So did Dewey Cheatham (And how!). Yeah, good luck with that one, Les.

A3G: Margo Magee: “Long distance. It’s the next best thing to being me!”
bats :[
July 15th, 2008 at 2:58 am [Reply]

29. True Fable re RMMD: gosh, am I that transparent?
Why do I have this feeling that while Rex outlines his sleuthing plans to Andy, Mrs. Mallory is going to tell the cop everything, and Rex is summarily run over by a Haz-Mat vehicle and every firetruck in Morganville?

If that doesn’t happen:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/2669948835/sizes/o/
kippetje2000
July 15th, 2008 at 2:58 am [Reply]

What a cop out, you frosty ice queen. Dr. Jeff comes to you, practically says he loves you, and all he gets is a grisly cheekbone that could probably reverse global warming (if she went all Jean Grey on us). Personally, I think Mary’s playing poor Jeff. He’s now so desperate to please, he might just pop the question. And, no doubt the frigid Crone of Charterstone will deny him once again. Or, perhaps, that tear in Jeff’s eye is the sting of peroxide solution or whatever she’s using to keep that head as white as a peeled shrimp.
Edward
July 15th, 2008 at 3:01 am [Reply]

Wow…I…I’ve never felt such pride in my work. Thanks for the kind wishes, everyone.
smacky
July 15th, 2008 at 7:51 am [Reply]

FW: OK, what year is it in Funky Winkerbean? This year’s Book Expo was held in Los Angeles. It’s in NYC in 2009. Could it be 2009?

It doesn’t matter anyway, because

(1) Book Expo isn’t open to the general public. (Could you imagine several thousand guys like Les wandering the convention center, desperate to get your attention and show you their manuscripts? What a nightmare!).

(2) Book Expo is always in May. So wherever it’s being held, he’s already missed it by several months.

So no worries that we’ll be seeing Les’ book anytime soon!
poppinjay
July 15th, 2008 at 7:54 am [Reply]

Dearest Josh,

Sattelite is actuially spelled satellite.

Say hello to my former co-worker Chris Core at POTUS 08.
poppinjay
July 15th, 2008 at 7:54 am [Reply]

And actuillay is spelled frumkin.
Shoshi
July 15th, 2008 at 7:56 am [Reply]

Mary Worth–Sheesh, doesn’t take much, does it?
Gojira
July 15th, 2008 at 7:58 am [Reply]

Edward? Or Ms. Moy in disguise? Just kidding. Funny when first posted, even funnier as COTW. Congratulations.

Likewise to the other finalists, it was a very good week.

By the way, here’s an indicaton of why the papers are full of so many lame strips: Albany Times-Union has a comics-related blog, but the latest entry asking for reader feedback on newly-added “Knight Life” and “Lio” produced only four comments, all against. A previous entry had commenters demanding “Lio” be removed and “Hagar the Horrible” reinstated. No accounting for taste.
John C Fremont
July 15th, 2008 at 8:00 am [Reply]

Very funny stuff, Edward. Congrats! (Note to self; Never eat Cheerios while reading the Comments of the Week.)

And I really hope Cedar’s story is true. That is priceless.

I hope our Gold Digging Nanny put that life jacket back on after the picture was taken. Safety first!

A Squishy toy? Me want one, too!

Foob – All that the last panel needs is a Winkerbeanian smirk. And cancer.

MW – Ick.

RMMD – Angry Count Morgu, with special guest Al Jolson.

FW – In the last panel, the daughter is looking at Les the way my dog does when I do my Lenny and Squiggy impersonation.

ZtP – In the third panel, Mr. Toad is literally talking out his ass! In other words, nothing new. But I kid the large, angry green guy.
benro
July 15th, 2008 at 8:01 am [Reply]

#34 – I seem to remember that FW took a leap forward of 10 years immediately after Lisa’s death, meaning it’s really 2018, so maybe by then they’ll move the Book Expo permanently to NYC and loosen the entry rules to allow english teachers to attend.
Mel
July 15th, 2008 at 8:08 am [Reply]

Congratulations, Edward!

And to think most of us owe our place on the float all to Mary.

No, no, Mare, keep your pink palms shirt down! I will throw you some damn beads! Look! Al dente linguini strung with frozen baby shrimp!
Dingo
July 15th, 2008 at 8:30 am [Reply]

I have no plans to ever marry but, if I did, I really don’t think I’d want to be the Dickensian charity case that Liz Patterson is becoming. Hmm… Liz is either a Dickensian charity case or the Canadian version of Star Jones but either way she doesn’t come out smellin’ like a rose. Or lavendar.

Liz Patterson: scented with teal.
Tweeks_Coffee
July 15th, 2008 at 8:47 am [Reply]

Congrats to all those whose creamy comments rise to the top. Or something like that, anyway. Also; yes, GDN is quite cute, the AJGLU has never looked better.

Now, onto the funnies!

Agnes: Agnes reads the comics so Josh doesn’t have to.
A3G: Sweet lord, Margo looks downright delirious today. She’s do damn happy that she just may not be a raging bitch to her roommates today.
‘Shaft: Oh no…
DtM: Cripes, he better hope his legs grow out some. That body’s perched on some of the spindliest sticks I’ve ever seen.
FW: Oh man, can you imagine what that book would be like? It’d make Mike Patterson look like Gore Vidal.
GT: Obviously Elmer has now gone off the ‘roids since his Mexican exile. Look at that forearm, muscles like that do not exist in nature.
HtH: Huh? I assume the joke is that there’s no peeing on the tree (eew), but it looks more like that’s a no-trees sign.
MT: Boy, Cherry’s sure quick to the rifle, isn’t she? I can’t wait for Annie Oakley there to fire randomly at the moose as it stomps Roger into the mud.
RMMD: Just when I thought something exciting might happen, Rex heads it off at the pass by peaking around corners. He’s going to be there for the next month or so.
One-eyed Wolfdog
July 15th, 2008 at 8:54 am [Reply]

I bet some of y’all were Animaniacs fans back in the day. Do you remember Skippy Squirrel’s catchphrase? (It was ‘Spe-e-e-e-ew!’)

Oh, and did you read MW today?
Chyron HR
July 15th, 2008 at 9:13 am [Reply]

Curtis – I used to be a Disney animator! But despite the blood, sweat and tears I put into repackaging the failed pilot episodes for “Mulan: The Animated Series” into the direct-to-DVD movie “Mulan IV: Eddie Murphy Dragon’s Counterattack” (featuring Rob Paulson as Eddie Murphy), John Lasseter kicked me to the curb! What an outrage!

Funky Winkerbean – Les, your problem is that you’re writing what you know. Try a novel about an abused Canadian peasant woman who becomes trapped within a nightmare world beneath New York City. Or just have a handsome lawyer friend put the moves on the publisher.

Judge Parker – You hate golf? But cartoonists love golf, and surely they’re not completely out of touch with the billions of other people around the world who need to spend all day working at real jobs!

Popeye – An interesting footnote–the “Hagsville” sequence, which offers unusually pointed satire of human society, was originally published in Fall 1985, when Bud Sagendorf went on a sabbatical and turned the writing duties on “Popeye” over to his good friend Stanislaw Lem.
Gabacho
July 15th, 2008 at 9:22 am [Reply]

COTW – I am so excited to be on the float! And let me assure all that in the event that COTW King Edward and the fourteen other COTW floaters are unable or unwilling to serve, I stand ready or rather sit ready to take your place.

By the way, others on the float, would you mind dropping me a note with where you live, where you work, where your kids go to school. I have a little gift. Be sure to include your daily schedule.
Wally Winkerbean
July 15th, 2008 at 9:25 am [Reply]

re comments made by smacky at #34

Les’s agent told him that the book expo was in NYC this year and now just hoping Les will go wandering down to the convention center, find it locked up and nothing going on, and have a mugger threaten Les with cancer unless he give him his wallet.
Uncle Lumpy
July 15th, 2008 at 9:28 am [Reply]

Today’s Crankshaft reprises Tom Batiuk’s tried-and-true Last Sex Ever Ever formula. Soon Pam will die.

These strips are like slasher films, only without the hot teenagers.
Calico
July 15th, 2008 at 9:30 am [Reply]

MW – Awwwwwww.
MT – Awwwwwww!
Foob – Awwwrrreetcccchhhhhblaaarrrgghhh

Congrats to the COTWeekers!
As prizes, you will all get a hearty helping of seafood scampi, followed by your own individually wrapped cake.
Shoshi
July 15th, 2008 at 9:46 am [Reply]

43 Tweeks_Coffee
>HtH: Huh? I assume the joke is that there’s no peeing on the tree (eew), but it looks more like that’s a no-trees sign.

That is very similar to my reaction. Let’s assume that the sign originally showed something ELSE being crossed out, but the syndicate wouldn’t allow it!
Bootsy
July 15th, 2008 at 10:00 am [Reply]

Congrats, Edward, especially for using one of my favorite words! (Hint: It ain’t scampi!)

Phantom: You know my love for the big stripey lug, but this story line is baffling. I keep wondering who Andre’ the Giant’s enemies in New Orleans are. FEMA? City maladministration? The Corps of Engineers? Meter maids? Contractors? W? Insurance companies? HUD? Weather forecasters? Anderson Cooper? Exxon? WHO? I need to know!
Edgy DC
July 15th, 2008 at 10:38 am [Reply]

Most obscure CotW ever.
CanuckDownSouth
July 15th, 2008 at 11:04 am [Reply]

RMMDP.I. Wow. Way to use your doctor’s training, Rex.
PeteMoss
July 15th, 2008 at 11:21 am [Reply]

Congratulations, Edward. Very funny. But it hurts, too. Too. Close. To home…
Gold-Digging Nanny
July 15th, 2008 at 4:09 pm [Reply]

Thanks, Tweeks, Poteet and Fable! And yes, John C Fremont, I did put my life jacket back on immediately. Sadly, the AJGLU is just not very visible with it on.

Wonderful comments of the week everyone! This is one of the funniest batches I’ve read in a while!
Ben
July 15th, 2008 at 8:08 pm [Reply]

“I’ve read the first decade of the Spider-Man comic book. It was hilarious and action-packed, with Peter struggling with all these normal-guy problems AND supervillains at the same time. I particularly remember one where he had to fight Doc Ock, but his suit didn’t fit and his mask kept threatening to fall off … Anyway, newspaper Spider-Man is obviously trying to recreate those days, but they’ve only heard about them second-hand and don’t have any idea how to pull it off. It’s like if somebody heard the Marx Brothers were funny, so they dug up Karl Marx’s moldering corpse and filmed it yelling at the TV.” -Froborr

Yeah, what makes this even worse is that that first decade was actually written by Stan Lee, who still “writes” the comic strip today. He’s probably old enough that he’s only heard about those days secondhand though, anyway.
Sheila Sternwell
July 16th, 2008 at 4:17 am [Reply]

Congrats to all! I am just now catching up on The CC (dig the edgy new nym I’ve given Josh’s blog!) and missed most of these in their original forms.

I don’t know who Denny is, but I’m contemplating proposing marriage to him.
Hogenmogen
July 18th, 2008 at 10:16 am [Reply]

Mary and Jeff, back together eating indistinct, gelatinous masses of food product labeled Soylent Shrimp Scampi. But, let’s take a quick stroll down memory lane to a time when things didn’t look quite so peachy for the happy couple. In fact, I’d even go so far as to stroll back to a simpler time before Dr. Jeff had black hair with blue tint, and prior to that before he discovered the joys of Grecian Formula.

The air is stultifying. The streets sizzle. The sun pours heat down in torrents. Argyle Sweater figures it’s time for a Christmas themed toon. Great, and what is that quote about timing being the essence of comedy?

Funky: Too bad you can’t get mugged in the same alleyway as the last time. It’s become a tourist mugging area and you need a reservation two weeks in advance at least – unless you know someone on the inside, of course.

Hey, Les, didn’t you go to NYC to expand your pizza business? WTF?

It’s 2-for-1 day in Cathyland. Guisewite could have cut the strip at 4 panels, making the only joke the fact that they have no where to hang any of the pictures that will never make it to frame-status anyway. But she went for the additional play on “get a hammer – - and build an extension to the house.” I have to admit it was not badly played. Now if we could just take this recurring theme of “Cathy’s vacation photos are a mess” and bury it in the deepest mine shaft available, detonate all available entrances to the mine and put up warnings with the symbol for biohazard waste and instructions not to reopen for ten millennia.

Mark Trail:
Moss says: “She may come into camp looking for food.”
Kelly hears: “Throw raw meat around the camp as a welcome mat.”
Moss says: “We don’t want to ask for trouble.”
Kelly hears: “Bring ‘em on!”
Cherrie and Moss ought to come to the conclusion that Kelly is a danger to herself and others. The law of the outback is to just up and blow her away. Make Roger do it so he can’t go squealing to the cops.

And in Rex Moron, an unsuspecting young police officer has stumbled upon the solution to THE GREAT WRESTLING MAT HEIST OF 2008. No doubt that Max will have to shoot the unwitting CHiP because he knows too much.
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