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Friday quickies of cruelty

Funky Winkerbean, 7/18/08

“What I’m trying to say is, will you wear this bald wig tonight? I’ll pay you!”

Gil Thorp, 7/18/08

“I think I’m drifting in the Sea of Cortez someplace, and I need his help getting ahold of the Coast Guard down here.”

Mary Worth, 7/18/08

“Like, now? Can we make another go right now? Because I think if I have to look at this orangey glop for one more second, I’m going to throw up.”

This entry was posted on Friday, July 18, 2008 at 01:49 pm and is filed under Funky Winkerbean, Gil Thorp, Mary Worth.

181 responses to “Friday quickies of cruelty”

P-Supe
July 18th, 2008 at 1:52 pm [Reply]

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/205/521003895_366c569fce_m.jpg
I used to live down the street from the sad sacks in Funky Winkerbean!!!
PeteMoss
July 18th, 2008 at 2:00 pm [Reply]

Geez, I just took a look at Marmaduke and now I know what others were commenting about. Damn, that’s nasty! Obviously Hitler Owner Man and his family have just given up on trying to keep pace with this behemoth sh*t-factory! Weird how the neighbors are not disgusted, but merely grateful they only have small mammals crapping in their yard.

It reminds me of when I was a kid and I owned a German Shepard. It was my job to go out and “clean up” the back yard. Sometimes, ‘cuz I was a lazy kid, I’d try to disintegrate the excrement with a garden hose and a spray nozzle (set for hyrdaulic mining), but that often turned out badly. Don’t ask.
Uncle Lumpy
July 18th, 2008 at 2:01 pm [Reply]

You know, Les getting romantically involved with his friend’s ex and leaving Summer alone during frequent trips to NY would be a really interesting story.

Therefore, no chance.
Joe, Upper-Evergreen FOOB-hater
July 18th, 2008 at 2:04 pm [Reply]

FOOB: Better get used to it, Elizaloser. Isn’t having an insta-family fun?
CanuckDownSouth
July 18th, 2008 at 2:06 pm [Reply]

MW So how is that orange goo we’re both holding gingerly, as if it were radioactive waste?
CanuckDownSouth
July 18th, 2008 at 2:07 pm [Reply]

MW I didn’t know Soylent came in orange! The Bum Boat only has the boring green kind.
PeteMoss
July 18th, 2008 at 2:11 pm [Reply]

Ha ha! I see now, Josh. Bugs is just drifting in the ocean with nothing but fishing tackle, a three-legged stool, and a six pack of Bergie! Maybe he’ll bump into Andre Dupierre’s plateform and get splattered with a huge-ass monkey wrench.
survivor
July 18th, 2008 at 2:11 pm [Reply]

Jeff and Mary are going to test out the bum boat and make another goat their date?!?!?!?

So THAT’S what happens on the bum boat, eh?!? GOAT SODOMY!
Sorako-chan
July 18th, 2008 at 2:14 pm [Reply]

Is Bugs McCoy a real person? Cuz I don’t want to make fun of his name if there is the chance he’ll find out where I live.
Wayne
July 18th, 2008 at 2:14 pm [Reply]

I think it’s really telling that Batiuk would have Lisa’s favorite place in NY be a tourist restaurant in Times Square.
Uncle Lumpy
July 18th, 2008 at 2:18 pm [Reply]

Well, “Lisa” is a hooker Les used to pick up there. The rest is called writing, people!
PeteMoss
July 18th, 2008 at 2:19 pm [Reply]

MW – What’s on Jeff mind, suggesting “another go at our date” while stabing his finger and thumb into the air like that?

The Bum Boat, by the way, does serve a wider course of antibiotics, I’m told.
PeteJayhawk
July 18th, 2008 at 2:20 pm [Reply]

Are Jeff and Mary…..feeding each other?

Just when you think the ick factor couldn’t increase…
migellito
July 18th, 2008 at 2:21 pm [Reply]

MW – it was just a typo. she actually fixed Shrimp Skippy. her seafood is ‘The Peanuttiest!’
hobbit
July 18th, 2008 at 2:22 pm [Reply]

MW- Okay, exactly how long does seafood stay fresh, because I’m pretty sure Mary started making the glop a week ago. Haven’t they ever heard of salmonella in Charterstone?

Although, a storyline centered around Mary’s slow, lingering death from some food borne pathogen would be infinitely more interesting than the current adventures of her and her suitor eating seafood mush. I expect all though her illness she would constantly be giving advice to the nurses and doctors taking care of her to the point that one “accidentally” pulls some vital plug one night while she’s sleeping.

Then she would annoy God so much in heaven that he would smite her down, Lucifer style, back to earth where she would wander aimlessly for the end of time.

I might actually enjoy Mary Worth for once if that happened.

Foob- I like how Anthony’s bratty daughter actually acts like a real child, nay, a real person. It’s a breath of fresh air after reading about the saccharine lives of the Patterson clan. Liz, of course, interprets the constant nagging in typical foobish fashion, as an attempt by the young girl to “bond.” I want to see Elizabeth after her 100th shopping trip (complete with “bonding”) with the child, ready to drop-kick her across the parking>
survivor
July 18th, 2008 at 2:22 pm [Reply]

12 – I believe that’s his forefinger and pinky. He’s making a hand signal for ‘goat horns’.

Further evidence of goat sodomy on the bum boat.
Randy
July 18th, 2008 at 2:23 pm [Reply]

Are Luann and TJ going to say “to hell with all the teasing, let’s do it for real,” thus causing Brad’s head to explode from his warring incestuous and homoerotic jealousies? Of course not–it’s Luann, so all we’ll get is some lame “practical jokes always bite you in the ass” denouement.
hobbit
July 18th, 2008 at 2:24 pm [Reply]

that should say “parking lot”
Uncle Lumpy
July 18th, 2008 at 2:32 pm [Reply]

Judge Parker — Okay, do we know that Dewey Cheatham is a guy? Because I’m hoping for “Dewy” Cheatham to leave Sam in a bathtub with a hangover, no kidneys, and a bad case of the clap.
Dik-Dik Vendetta
July 18th, 2008 at 2:33 pm [Reply]

survivor – I think they’re talking about a 3-way with a goat and Jeff wants to try out his modified Shocker.
Muffaroo of the Outdated Meme Patrol
July 18th, 2008 at 2:35 pm [Reply]

MW – I believe you guys are all confusing The Bum Boat with The Goat Bum. It’s a natural error, but one that nobody in Charterstone makes twice.
Henning Makholm
July 18th, 2008 at 2:42 pm [Reply]

6: On the contrary. According to the Wikipedia article “Soylent Green”, it comes in boring read and yellow variations, in addition to the upscale green one.
Pozzo
July 18th, 2008 at 2:45 pm [Reply]

“You know — the Bum Boat! Over in the direction in which I’m so emphatically pointing!”
PeteMoss
July 18th, 2008 at 2:46 pm [Reply]

Wasn’t there an old X-rated movie titled “I Am Soylent Yellow?”
Pozzo
July 18th, 2008 at 2:47 pm [Reply]

It appears that Mary keeps results of lie detector tests framed on her wall. Just a subtle reminder that no one, repeat no one, can put anything over her. You had your chance to get away, Dr. Jeff, and you blew it. I no longer have any sympathy for you.
Salvor Seafood Scampi Hardin
July 18th, 2008 at 2:51 pm [Reply]

OK. “Scampi” is Italian for shrimp. Shrimp constitutes seafood. Never before has the phrase “seafood scampi” appeared in human discourse. Or so I thought. Google it and weep over the tattered remains of our language.
Baka Gaijin
July 18th, 2008 at 2:56 pm [Reply]

Sherman’s Lagoon: Sherman, dude, get thee to Lenscrafters; Cod do not look like something that covers a winky. Not that I know what a shark’s winky looks like but I’m pretty sure not THAT.

PS: #107 Porky last thread: Beat you on this thread!!!
Calico
July 18th, 2008 at 2:56 pm [Reply]

Ah-ha – Mary and Jeff are eating steamed candy corn with tomato ranch dressing!
Rusty
July 18th, 2008 at 2:56 pm [Reply]

Josh, maybe the best ever snark on FW.

Poor anchorwoman, she is the only character to not rapidly age or expand in the 10 year jump, but at the expense of losing her lips.

MW: Mary obviously keeps no hard liquor in the apartment, and Dr. Jeff needs a Manhattan stat.
hobbit
July 18th, 2008 at 2:58 pm [Reply]

My post should say “parking lot” at the end. And the link should lead here. Oops!
Hogenmogen
July 18th, 2008 at 2:58 pm [Reply]

Spiderman:
Yesterday: “Spiderman – - Meet the Vulture at noon!”
Today: “Spiderman – oh yeah, I forgot, meet me at noon at the Chrysler Building.”
Tomorrow: “Spiderman – It’s on the corner of 42nd and Lexington – you can take the downtown express train, but if you’re driving in from Queens, the Mid-town tunnel will probably be your best bet. You’re on your own for parking…”
QM
July 18th, 2008 at 2:59 pm [Reply]

Re: #25

Sadly, many restaurants have “Shrimp Scampi” on the menu, which is perhaps even worse than “Seafood Scampi”.
Hero120499
July 18th, 2008 at 3:02 pm [Reply]

#6 – Well there was Soylent Red and Soylent Yellow, so if you were to mix them …

I just wish Mary’s Soylent Chow was green … because then there would be a chance that Mary was grinding up the residents of her little gated community and feeding them to the unsuspecting town fathers. Cannibalism would certainly explain a lot about that comic that I just don’t understand.
hobbit
July 18th, 2008 at 3:05 pm [Reply]

#26 Baka Gaijin- I think the joke is that Sherman’s winky is so small and dangly that some poor fish mistook it for a worm. Man, that cod’s gonna need some serious therapy.
Jetsam
July 18th, 2008 at 3:13 pm [Reply]

Today’s Gil Thorp guest directed by M. Night Shyamalan. Twist!
Mr. O'Malley
July 18th, 2008 at 3:17 pm [Reply]

25, 31. Worse yet, the usual source says one may even encounter “chicken scampi”.

“Scampo” is the Italian name of the Norway lobster, a species not found in North America.

Thinking that “scampi” is a cooking method is ridiculous. It’s as though a ground beef sandwich named after a north German city was taken to be a preparation description, and on that basis sandwiches were named after non-existent cities like “Chickenburg”, “Fishburg”, or “Veggieburg” … wait …
D. E. I.
July 18th, 2008 at 3:19 pm [Reply]

Comic strips are like plays. In Mary Worth, they use props. That’s obviously not real food. And I didn’t say their props were realistic, either.
david t
July 18th, 2008 at 3:23 pm [Reply]

#34 – so i better cancel my vacation to cheeseburg pronto then.
Terry
July 18th, 2008 at 3:31 pm [Reply]

Isn’t Jeff a wee bit young for Mary? Or did he pay a visit to the Strom Thurmond School of Good Grooming?
Justafoob
July 18th, 2008 at 3:37 pm [Reply]

Indeed, D.E.I., comic strips are like plays.

Over in the Fooberverse, they are waiting for Gordo.
Mollie
July 18th, 2008 at 3:40 pm [Reply]

Lisa’s favorite place in New York City was… Ellen’s Stardust Diner? Honestly? They want us to remember this brave woman, who bravely died bravely not fighting her cancer, patronizing an overpriced tourist-trap diner where the nonworking actors on the waitstaff are forced to perform karaoke on a rotating, merciless schedule that requires them to hear “Your Body Is a Wonderland” at least thrice each shift? I mean, I know the woman was married to Les, but please, allow her some shred of dignity.
Anonymous
July 18th, 2008 at 3:41 pm [Reply]

#15 hobbit — Yeah, and Mary’s still wearing the same t-shift too. I’ll both are smelling pretty funky.

#35 D.E.I. — Did you just give PROPS to Mary Worth?!? Where the hell is the goddamn button to send electric shocks thru the Internet to your keyboard?
Perky Bird
July 18th, 2008 at 3:48 pm [Reply]

This week my husband and I were at Subway, and I noticed that their seafood sandwich now is called “Seafood Sensation.” I was quite amused—it’s like they’re saying, “What we’re serving isn’t really seafood, it just gives you the sensation that it is seafood.”

So…maybe Mary has to call it “seafood scampi” because it isn’t really shrimp but some horrible shrip-substitute. I mean, I’ve never seen shrimp that look like cheese doodles.
John Everett
July 18th, 2008 at 3:48 pm [Reply]

Staying at the honeymoon hotel? Going to all the places he used to go with Lisa? Les needs therapy.
Mac
July 18th, 2008 at 3:54 pm [Reply]

“I would have come here earlier, just to remember the good times with Lisa, only the restaurant was closed for the last ten years due to asbestos in the ceiling and a mysterious cluster of bone cancers.”
Renee J
July 18th, 2008 at 3:59 pm [Reply]

Les could have been married, had a few more kids, and divorced in the past ten years, but I doubt he’s even been on a date.
Gal Friday
July 18th, 2008 at 4:11 pm [Reply]

#30 LOL–COTW.

Josh, awesome snark on FW!
Anonymous
July 18th, 2008 at 4:11 pm [Reply]

Les has been on plenty of car dates in the last ten years.

Granted, most have been in the back seat making sure his daughter or her boy friend does not move past the masking tape Les put down at the start of the date.
Orange Doorhinge
July 18th, 2008 at 4:14 pm [Reply]

both Mary W and FoBoWo did the same horrible thing with their plots– fizzled them out. Here I thought Alan would be caught in a High Melodrama way, and Mary would start meddling with the WHOLE TOWN after Ron “appoints” her to the Council…but Nooooo! Ron says he’s too busy to date and Alan manages to hide from Margo. Bleah.

I bet Luanne is the one who discovers Alan’s hijinks, and forgives him and puts him back on the path to to Good.
Gal Friday
July 18th, 2008 at 4:18 pm [Reply]

MT Clearly, Kelly is going to leave the food out tonight–hope the mountain lion chews her arm off!
Daily Comics Reviewer
July 18th, 2008 at 4:20 pm [Reply]

Best/most disturbing Funky comment I have seen anywhere in a long time. Damn fine job.
Duckman30
July 18th, 2008 at 4:21 pm [Reply]

MW – “Jeff, I already explained to you that I’m my own woman, so ease up on the controlling plans for a dinner date.”

thought balloon “Oh Mary, what man could ever tame you!”

FW – “And if I put my hand in my jacket pocket and feel the ashes I’m reminded that a little bit of her is here.”
Wally Winkerbean
July 18th, 2008 at 4:23 pm [Reply]

In an ironic Funkian twist, Masky McDeath will be their waiter.

Death is taking a holiday, but is a little short of cash.
bats :[
July 18th, 2008 at 4:26 pm [Reply]

Y88. commodorejohn: most excellent transmutation in your FOOB mashup!

Sherman and his dinky: I recall an OLD Playboy cartoon in which a well-dressed lady and gentleman of the Tudor period were lounging in a garden. The lady looks somewhat unhappy, as she’s holding up a large, dead fish. The gentleman’s comment: “Well, what did you expect to find in a codpiece?”
Astroboy
July 18th, 2008 at 4:28 pm [Reply]

Luann – Y’know, if it wasn’t for the eyebrows-on-top-of-the-head thing (I call it Denice the Menace eyebrow syndrome) Luann would be pretty hot. Maybe TJ’s on to something. Except TJ is gay. My brain hurts.
Sequitur
July 18th, 2008 at 4:32 pm [Reply]

FW: Just what is that gray thing on Les’ plate? I sure hope it’s not a hamburger.
Nekrotzar
July 18th, 2008 at 4:44 pm [Reply]

FW: I’m even wearing her favorite underwear. And her diaphragm.
Cranky
July 18th, 2008 at 4:46 pm [Reply]

Next week in Gil Thorp:

Monday: “Dad, I got high!”
Tuesday: “High on my love of sports!”
Wednesday: “Dad, I got shot!”
Thursday: “Shot out of a cannon at the circus!”
Friday: “Dad, I got crabs!”
(In panel 3 on Friday, Mr. Hughes bludgeons Jimmy with a ball peen hammer.)
David Willis
July 18th, 2008 at 4:46 pm [Reply]

So how about this week’s Curtis adventures! Who doesn’t love an out-of-work animator telling total, completely fabricated lies about Disney’s relationship with its animators and with Pixar, if only to push some crazy anti-CGI movie agenda? It is absolute crack. I don’t understand it!
wicked-witch-west
July 18th, 2008 at 4:55 pm [Reply]

GT: Because you know what major league baseball just loves? Young guys straight out of high school and college! Skip the minor leagues– AND puberty all in one fell swoop!

FW: I was able to trick my therapist into thinking I was making progress. She has NO IDEA I’m here trying to break into the suite where we had our honeymoon.
Aesop
July 18th, 2008 at 5:07 pm [Reply]

Jimmy’s dad is a moron. He probably didn’t even know that his son played baseball.

Crankshaft: …

Marvin: Why do inanimate objects talk in speech bubbles when the Marvin still speaks in thought bubbles?

A3G: I don’t follow Apartment 3-G, so my only guess would be that Eric is a spy or some sort of assassin traveling the world to execute local warlords and terrorists. Margo is obviously the leader of these terrorists, and she is attempting to distract Eric from his goals so that her men can finish him off.

The Lockhorns: Haha they’re poor!
Renee J
July 18th, 2008 at 5:09 pm [Reply]

Even with Les obsessing over his dead wife for ten years – bald wig or not – he’s still less creepy than Anthony.
Violet
July 18th, 2008 at 5:12 pm [Reply]

Listen, Mary, usually when people light candles for dinner, the intent is to make the atmosphere romantic or flattering, or, ideally, both. Neither effect is achieved when you leave on the glaring fluorescent overheads. Also–remember, I’m just trying to be your friend–I think you could have found something more becoming, that is to say, I can’t actually see how you could’ve found anything LESS becoming to wear. Is it laundry day in 1987? Also, hon, by the time seafood is that color, it’s really not safe to…oh, wait a minute. I get it now. You’re trying to drive Jeff away, or possibly poison him. I got you, Mar. Wink, wink. This conversation never happened.
Donald The Anarchist
July 18th, 2008 at 5:20 pm [Reply]

FW Wait, maybe it IS Lisa, with a dye job, and facial surgery, and, ummm…no more cancer? But nothing could ever diguise that trademark smirk! I smell a Vertigo homage coming on! Except Vertigo was funny.

Bugs McCoy? Could this be dreaded Encyclopedia Brown nemesis Bugs Meany, all grown up and with a new surname? What dastardly scheme could he be hatching? Perhaps he’s teamed up with Cassandra Cat! Let’s get Slylock on the case, ASAP.

MW So like all Mary Worth romantic interludes, this ended anticlimactically. I, for one, may never climax again. Which means all the money I’ve shelled out for porn over the years has been wasted. This must be why people take up needlepoint…
Burning Prairie
July 18th, 2008 at 5:49 pm [Reply]

So I know that Les is all rusty at this whole dating thing, but that has got to be the worst come-on of all time. “I like pretending my dead wife is here”=Epic FAIL.
mav
July 18th, 2008 at 5:49 pm [Reply]

Not sure what everyone finds so shocking about the Jimmy Hughes draft story. Well, other than the fact that a Gil Thorp-coached kid could have any talent. High school kids get drafted by professional baseball teams all the time. And when a kid in a sports story says, “I got drafted,” the army is not the first thing I think of. Especially since it’s only been a couple of weeks since a pro scout mentioned that he had some interest in him.

Now, the fact that Coach Thorp tries to get a kid drafted who has borderline college talent while being unaware that he has a draftable shortstop, that says a lot about Coach’s baseball acumen.
Dangerously Cheesey
July 18th, 2008 at 5:50 pm [Reply]

JP Leave alone the fact that your name is DRIVER and you’re whining about playing golf. I can’t believe I’ve been out of the country for a week, and you’re not playing yet. Put down the book and get busy with your putter, Sam. Or is that one as ineffective as the one in your pants? Only Abbey knows for sure …
PeterW
July 18th, 2008 at 5:55 pm [Reply]

I just realized something. If bitter, fake, straw-man “artist” animator in Curtis wants a job as an artist, he’d probably be welcome to take over the art on Gil Thorp. With his animation background, he actually understands things like “how the human body moves” and “how perspective works.”
NotPigeon
July 18th, 2008 at 6:04 pm [Reply]

“Make another go?”
That’s either some kind of colloquialism I’ve never heard of before or just really badly mangled grammar.
One-eyed Wolfdog
July 18th, 2008 at 6:06 pm [Reply]

–Hello, Mrs. Hobbes!
–Cute dog, whoever the fuck you are! But do you stunning non sequitor?
–Heck no! Long-outdated ethnic joke!

(Panel 3: A little friendly humping in the wake of the shared humorous experience.)
Shermy Glamrocker
July 18th, 2008 at 6:24 pm [Reply]

Dr. Jeff is desperately, desperately wishing that Chester the Dog was still there so he could surreptitiously slip the stinking “shrimp scampi” under the table to the hound and get the hell out of there and eat some real food at The Bum Boat.

And get a stiff drink.

Then return to Mary’s apartment and help clean up the bright orange dog vomit..

(Sorry for the alliteration in there. Sometimes things just get away from me).
PeteMoss
July 18th, 2008 at 6:35 pm [Reply]

#68 One-eyed Wolfdog
Ok, I think I’ve got that formula for Momma. I’ll give it a try:

Guy- Hi, Mrs. Hobbes
Momma- Cute Dog! Is he an Irish Setter?
Guy – Heck no! I couldn’t stand all that drinkin’ and fightin’!

Momma- Cute Dog! Does he ever hump your leg?
Guy – Heck No. He’s not an Italian Greyhound.

Momma – Cute Dog! Does he ever play dead?
Guy – Heck no. He’s not a French Poodle.

Momma – Cute Dog! Do you feed him dog food from Mexico?
Guy – Heck no. Then he’d steal my job, run down wages, and change the destroy the American way of life!
C. Havoc
July 18th, 2008 at 6:38 pm [Reply]

#63:
“Bugs Meany”…

…Cool.
minnie
July 18th, 2008 at 6:44 pm [Reply]

If Bugs McCoy wasn’t clearly on a dock with a fishing rod, I’d say he was standing on a board on top of the bastard spawn of an oriental rug and a rorshach.
One-eyed Wolfdog
July 18th, 2008 at 6:50 pm [Reply]

#70 – I was so hoping somebody would do that.
PeteMoss
July 18th, 2008 at 6:54 pm [Reply]

#73 Happy to oblige.
ladadog
July 18th, 2008 at 6:54 pm [Reply]

MW: Oh no, help me, help me. Something is terribly wrong. I actually thought Mary Worth was rather sweet. It’s a good thing I am on my first day of vacation. Two weeks of gin & tonics and real seafood (and perhaps even some tasty scampi) caught off the Cape the same day, should put me back on track, mentally. I hope.

Oh, and hope you have/had fun on Jeopardy, Josh. Can’t wait to see it. Although I do miss the Potpourri category.
Islamorada Girl
July 18th, 2008 at 7:19 pm [Reply]

The word for Saturday is mataphobia.
Jamus The Bartender
July 18th, 2008 at 7:21 pm [Reply]

9CL: It’s the damndest thing. I didn’t like Claudio much either for the very same reason. Wow. Talk about a breakthrough. I’m all self-actualized now…
FOOB: You know, I wouldn’t have acted like that around my parents. Maybe once, but “the look” from the old man, followed by the ever present threat of five upside the head would have cured any misbehavings. Learn from this, Liz…waitaminnit, in panel 3, Cassandra told me pretty much the same thing, and in the same way, only it was “new dress”.
Luann: Yeah, this is getting a little creepy. Now it looks like TJ wants to sniff her panties. Creep.
Slylock Fox: Wow. Now THAT is cool. I like Count Weirdly’s robot. That’s all, no snarking, I just like the robot.
Sans Sense
July 18th, 2008 at 7:22 pm [Reply]

MW:

Why is Dr. Corey making the “in your face” gesture in Panel Two? “NO, I MEAN IT! I mean, why would I lie? Heh, Heh. This stuff is great…really…”
Violet
July 18th, 2008 at 7:38 pm [Reply]

#73 Wait, can I try?

–Hello, Mrs. Hobbes!
–Cute dog! But do you ever travel with him to Japan?
–Heck no! Goddamn Japanese studios only hire Japanese animators to…Oh, sorry. My mistake. I’m supposed to be in Curtis today.
strawberrymom22
July 18th, 2008 at 7:50 pm [Reply]

#37 – Yes, Terry, I have too thought that Jeff looks too young for Mary. It must be because he has mother issues.
I wouldn’t even dare go further into this.
Anonymous
July 18th, 2008 at 8:05 pm [Reply]

#67–

To “make another go at” something means to try it again.
Anonymous
July 18th, 2008 at 9:02 pm [Reply]

Okay, basically in Mary Worth seafood is a hays code substitute for sex. The Bum Boat presumably involves the bum in some way. Making seafood by herself would be, to be polite, doing it to herself.

But now Jeff shows up, so I’m confused. What is Mary doing to him, and now he wants to do the bum boat? Isn’t that getting greedy, or are they just really that horny? And why have I spent any part of my day thinking about the sex lives of people old enough to have been there the day sex was invented?
Isaac
July 18th, 2008 at 9:11 pm [Reply]

There must be something wrong with me. I read today’s Gil Thorp as “Get ahold of your boy Viagras.”
I’m not even sure what that means.
Mighty Max King
July 18th, 2008 at 9:16 pm [Reply]

OK, so if I’d never seen Mary Worth before, and dropped in on this strip, I’m thinking gray-haired little old lady wearing some sort of Miami Vice disco-wear with a decades-younger male prostitute announcing his intention of boinking her brains out. Do I have that wrong?
FOOBed again
July 18th, 2008 at 9:21 pm [Reply]

GT: Yesterthread people were talking about Elmer not really being a Latino name. I remembered there is a Majaor League Baseball player named Elmer Dessens and it turns out he was born in Mexico. Of course I’m not sure that “Dessens” sounds really Hispanic either, maybe his parents were from another country.

http://www.baseball-reference.com/d/desseel01.shtml

Maybe the “Gil Thorp” writer named Elmer Vargas after him?
FOOBed again
July 18th, 2008 at 9:33 pm [Reply]

mav @ #64: So true! Baseball even has a yearly draft in June, and they draft high school and college kids. (Of course GT is a month behind on that as well.) And Jimmy probably wouldn’t go straight to the big league team, anyway. He’d go to the rookie league team first, and progress from there (or not). So it’s not really that weird, other than the timing being a month off like all of Gil Thorp is anyway, and like mav mentioned, the fhat Gil Thorp didn’t have a clue he had such a talented player on his team.
BakNBlack
July 18th, 2008 at 9:44 pm [Reply]

GT: He got drafted to play in Detroit? Why is he excited? Has the realization not sunk in yet that he’ll have to live there, too?
NosferatusCoffin
July 18th, 2008 at 10:10 pm [Reply]

Luann: For the love of God! We already had the nauseating experience of seeing what happens when TJ “sears his meatballs”. Do we now have to SEE it in it’s full color multi-paneled glory as well? And in the laundry room, no less?

Man, I’d prefer to have Greg Evans bring back Aaron Hill and have Luann moon over his picture while playing with her $2.95 Wal-Mart vibrator.

Either way, it is enough to make a red-blooded, American man go sterile.
Joe Btfsplk
July 18th, 2008 at 10:33 pm [Reply]

Spider-Man – The Vulture has managed somehow to position his skywriting so that the words fit perfectly into the space bounded by the city skyline and the panel frame. Damn, he’s good.

Just flying around in circles towing one of those huge banners would have been a lot easier, but I admire the old-school choice there. You don’t see much good skywriting these days.

Something about his use of the word “atop” amuses me.

Mark Trail – You city folks can keep your fancy convection ovens and electric rotisseries. On a stick over an open fire is the only way to properly cook a Jack Elrod Ball. Mmm yeah! That’s good eatin’.

Moss says: We don’t want to ask for trouble!
Kelly hears: Roger and Cherry and I don’t want to ask for trouble!
Zaq
July 18th, 2008 at 10:49 pm [Reply]

Luann: Non-Faz facial expressions on TJ are like periods in Rex Morgan. They don’t happen often, but when they do, you take notice… and often there’s no reason to begin with.

Zits: Ha ha! It’s funny because teenagers have different natural sleep schedules than adults! It’s as funny today as it was yesterday! And the day before that! And the day before that! And the day before that! Because, you know, it wasn’t funny then either, so it being driven into the ground like this really can’t make it much worse. Not that our expectations for Zits are very high anyway. Is anyone else habitually rubbed the wrong way by Zits? I’m not even the age group they habitually skewer (and so often the premise boils down to “teenagers are unreasonable and wrong for being the way they are, ha ha”) and it bothers me.

Curtis: Okay, speaking of taking a non-premise and clinging to it like Lynn clings to her creepy psychosexual puppet shows…

C’shaft: What is this, a slasher flick? Have sex, tragedy strikes. Only not to any of the people we’d LIKE to see killed, because we need to see them flop around in misery.

FW: This has nothing to do with today’s comic, but do you ever wonder what obnoxious emo kids are like in the Batiukverse? Mopey Pete doesn’t count, he wasn’t attention-whorish enough. Do they have little fake tumors and everything?

H&J: Is it just me, or is this joke backwards? Not to mention very Pluggeresque. But really, it sounds like there are tons of beautiful et al. women out there, but very few of them have pulses. I doubt that’s what he was going for.

Ghost-Who-Trespasses: A cutter? To pay for the moloko-plus and some new platties? That would be “some” cutter, technically, but Your Faithful Narrator is still a malenky confused, O my brothers.

Blondie: Huh, they actually paid a modicum of attention to the tablecloth instead of just cutting out preprinted patterns and pasting them on (with actual paste, the kind that comes in pots with those weird little brushes).

Momma: Other people have said this better, but man is that a random-ass subject change in panel 1. Try it out today in your normal conversation!
Stij
July 18th, 2008 at 11:10 pm [Reply]

#57: Hey, I didn’t know David Willis posted here! Cool.
Chemical Cupcake
July 18th, 2008 at 11:17 pm [Reply]

Luann-What exactly does TJ stand for? Could it be Theresa Jayne or perhaps Tammy Jo? Is that a slight curve of bosom in panel 3?
prospero
July 18th, 2008 at 11:23 pm [Reply]

Re: Jeopardy.

Ken Jennings was proof of fraud. The H & R block question he lost on was so easy, it was as if an American had asked a Japanese pilot “Who won the World Series, Mr. Moto?” I believe they may have kept this from Alex, who, being severely Canadian, would not have stood for such monkey business they get up to south of the border.
Charlene
July 18th, 2008 at 11:28 pm [Reply]

Dessens is French; Elmer is English. Both are completely believable in Mexico. Many Mexicans are descended from immigrants from other places than Spain. Hidalgo has a large number of citizens of English, Welsh, Scots, German, and French heritage.
Charles
July 18th, 2008 at 11:38 pm [Reply]

#39 Mollie – I had the opportunity to visit Ellen’s Stardust Diner, and while I am sure I would absolutely hate to work there, for a one-time event, it was an absolute blast to eat at. I was in Manhattan for a few days, and ate at strange restaurants I’d never heard of before, hot dog stands, assorted delis, and then to finish the trip off by visiting a festive atmosphere like Ellen’s was just pure fun. For me, at any rate.

I may be a bit biased, though, since one waitress had me sing one word of her song. I fell in love right then.
Poteet
July 19th, 2008 at 12:05 am [Reply]

#2 PeteMoss — BWAHAHA! I tried that method for cleaning the residue off the bottoms of several cat litter boxes. Only I was a little older than you. Okay, a lot older. It was three weeks ago, actually. And yeah, I don’t recommend it.
Poteet
July 19th, 2008 at 12:15 am [Reply]

# 61 Violet — Thank you. So often, when I stare at MW and my brain hurts, I can’t figure out all the reasons why. In this case, I knew the shirt was bizarre, and our Pope pointed out the ghastly color of the food, but my conscious mind couldn’t quite grasp the candles burning in very bright light. Now my understanding of today’s MW is complete, and it’s time for a drink..
Violet
July 19th, 2008 at 12:40 am [Reply]

#97 You’re welcome. I think I’ll join you. Okay, in the interest of full disclosure, I started “joining you” six hours ago and just got home like 30 minutes ago. Still, comraderie and what not, right?
LTBF
July 19th, 2008 at 12:50 am [Reply]

Horrible pun alert in Saturday’s Foob. I know you can say that just about every day, but thought I’d mention it anyway.
Dr. Weird
July 19th, 2008 at 12:56 am [Reply]

#90 Zaq

The emo kids of the Funkyverse would reject the constant misery of their elders and instead embrace happiness as rebellion! They’d all wear bright colors, listen to cheerful music and engage in life-affirming pursuits! The adults would naturally not get it.
Violet
July 19th, 2008 at 1:00 am [Reply]

Also, and this has been bothering me for some time-why do you call Josh “The Pope”? Not just you. Several people do so. Is this a reference I’ve missed?
LTBF
July 19th, 2008 at 1:04 am [Reply]

Being the Pope is his day job.
bats :[
July 19th, 2008 at 1:21 am [Reply]

Some Saturday observations:

JP: I like this “Twilight Zone” feel today, with Sam and Steve gliding down a long hall and their doppelgangers either preceding or proceeding them.
Since they’re talking about golf, though, it’s not so much scary or surreal as boring…

MT: well, that settles it. Other than knowing a lot more about wild animal behavior than Jackelrod (pumas usually don’t go rummaging around in a camp, unless it’s a camp run by deer; bears, on the other hand…), the strip appears to be written by any number of Mudges.

MW: “Yes, Mary, let’s get into the same old rut again real soon! And we can have a picture taken of it, too, so other people in Santa Royale will realize that their lives aren’t as crappy as they think!”
“What a wonderful idea, Jeff! It’ll be like helping the whole city at once! Kindness is my religion, you know…and it’ll chap old Ron Amalfi’s ass to see it!”

RMMD: yow…I thought Max was unpleasant…his wife is downright scary!

GA: love Kitty’s face in Panel 2…

FOOB: gah! But actually a pretty good pun. Evidently Asshathony is NOT a Patterson, so there are glimmers of humor.
Dingo
July 19th, 2008 at 1:51 am [Reply]

Poor Jeff Cory. Can’t wait for him to get drunk enough to ask Amalfi’s cock size.
True Fable
July 19th, 2008 at 1:52 am [Reply]

A3G Margo must be planning to roast Tommie for an unusual but bland entree for the rehearsal dinner.
DtM Alice sure has some cheek to actually cut another child’s hair, rather than take her home with an apology and let the child’s parents decide how best to extract the sucker from her hair! Maybe she’s already discussed it with them, and show up later at their house with Dennis shaved baldheaded as an apology. Yeah, okay, I am amused now.
FC They get elected, Jeffy. They get elected.
FBoFW I think it would have been nifty if Francie had been the only flower girl, and Master Poopy Pants and Merrie-Benet were relegated to the guest seating. Liz has had about as much interaction with her suddenly important niece and nephew as she had with the grandfather she hasn’t bothered to visit except to startle him wearing his late wife’s wedding dress. But no – ALL the Pattersons MUST be front and center at EVERYTHING!
FW ….what?
JP Sam rolls his eyes in the last…um, frame. Steve memorized a book about GOLF? And it wasn’t “Scratch Golfer”? What was the point, then?
Luann Somehow, some way, this will all end up in a zany mixup in which Luann will learn not to exaggerate and TJ will learn he can get away with sexually harassing the underage daughter of his landlords. Comedy gold!
MT Monday: Kelly gets attacked by Canadians.
MW So that’s what all the fuss was about: Jeff just wanted equal press time.
Mutts Today’s is charming.
RMMD When a woman gets so mad she loses all her top teeth, that’s when you KNOW she’s mad.
True Fable
July 19th, 2008 at 1:53 am [Reply]

#101 Violet – Because Josh is our spirtual leader, the Pope of Snark. At least that’s how I see it. :-)
Erika
July 19th, 2008 at 2:03 am [Reply]

Is there another type of scampi other than seafood?

Is there another type of scampi other than shrimp?

Sheesh.
BigDave
July 19th, 2008 at 2:45 am [Reply]

#90 – “C-Shaft – What is this, a slasher flick? Have sex, tragedy strikes. Only not to any of the people we’d LIKE to see killed, because we need to see them flop around in misery.”

Actually, seeing them flopping around in misery would be the sex scene itself.
Mibbitmaker
July 19th, 2008 at 3:06 am [Reply]

I’m too late to make the Jeopardy thread as a commentor, so I’ll say “Have had good luck already, Josh”. Hope you did better than Cliff Claven!

Too bad the original Match Game isn’t on anew (meaning the same as then, but now). Now THAT would be really cool.

Uh — you didn’t inform Alex that it’s good he lost the ’stache because if he hadn’t, Mark Trail would’ve punched him, did you? That’d prolly make Trebek cut off your buzzer!

I won’t say what or when, but one time in the show’s long history they had a contestant with my name (1st and last, not middle) on the show. I was informed of this and tuned in. But it was just too weird, and I actually hoped he’d lose to get him off there. I couldn’t not watch it, but it was too offputting somehow. He was an alright guy, though, so at least he didn’t sully the name, fwiw.
bats :[
July 19th, 2008 at 3:09 am [Reply]

I always wonder why, just as a serial story is revving up and getting terribly exciting (not just terrible!), things. seem. to. slow. down. I’m forced to make my own fun:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/2681165793/sizes/o/
Baka Gaijin
July 19th, 2008 at 3:27 am [Reply]

#103 bats[: : I thought you were just making fun of Mary Worth…how wrong I was. Why, oh why did I read that?

Cow and Boy: Last frame is priceless.
TB Tabby
July 19th, 2008 at 3:57 am [Reply]

9CL: Seth is gay, so he doesn’t have to worry about the attention of amorous men.

…Eh?

Curtis: ERRGH. I hate it when this strip clubs me over the head with with its “old is good, new is bad” message. Ah, the good old days before the civil rights movement, air conditioning, unleaded gas, and seat belts.

MT: Kelly plans to get a great picture of a bea rlicking bacon grase off her face.

ZtP: A high price for Karl Rove, sure…but a more than equitable price for getting rid of Cathy.
Mibbitmaker
July 19th, 2008 at 4:18 am [Reply]

Saturday, the above date:

Buckets: Wow, the housing crisis is worse than I thought!

Cranky: Comic strips.

Curtis: You’ll also not want to get me started on old WB/MGM/Fleischer/early Famous animation, Curtis!

FC: What, you kids never heard about “SuperObama”, the superhero impervious to criticism? Or the show about the really, really elderly guy that served with GI Joe? Or that older show about the dopey guy who gets tricked by Bugs Bunny even more easily than Elmer Fudd does — I forget the character’s name… George W. something…?

FW: Gee, that description in the middle panel could apply to me and this strip since 1993.

BBailey: If those two are using “Seinfeld”-speak about the general there, that’s just disgusting!

GT: Between the 3rd and last panels: “…And, oddest thing — he started off by saying, ‘Ehh… What’s up, Doc?’ …I think he was eating a carrot.”

A3G: After that, all Margo could say was, “!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!….”

FOOB: “…All dressed in cash…..”

S-M: What’s on…?

Tiger: “…That’s also why he buried Mom’s undies!”

Agnes: I see PBS, Calvin, Garfield, and 9CL (today’s included. “forfeited”, Brooke? Really?) mixed in there. The pun part goes for 80-90% of the strips out there. Maybe Aggie should be an honorary ‘mudge?

DtM: What, did Mr. Wilson finally die?

GA: Hey, Mary Worth! I have a new recipe for you!

HotC: …And, Mare… This is what you could call it.

Luann: “And so are you, hotshot!”

MT: Then Kelly’s plan to get everyone killed goes according to plan. (Hell, she could be the mole in DT)

MW: Passive-agressive, isn’t he?

Ghost-Who-Doesn’t-Bobble-As-Good-As-Margo-Magee: Phantom and his lady say this in unison, just like Norm MacDonald said it in that SNL sketch where everyone suddenly starts a “West Side Story” gang fight: “That’s not good!”

Pluggers cause most auto accidents.

6C: Another reason so many marriages end in divorce.
Andy Panderer
July 19th, 2008 at 5:34 am [Reply]

Re: Curtis

Peter Pan? Gag on a maggot.

Jesus, Billingsley, mention “Pinocchio” if you want to talk about the penultimate hand drawn Disney lavishness.

There will never again be an animated movie as gorgeous, detailed and as lovely to look at as “Pinocchio.”
Plus the fact that it has a great, tightly concentrated story and some of the best Disney songs ever written.
Andy Panderer
July 19th, 2008 at 6:12 am [Reply]

Re:FC What happened to the cartoons we always watch?

Hanna-Barbera.
Sheila Sternwell
July 19th, 2008 at 6:20 am [Reply]

MT: I’ve been putting up with this insipid story for weeks now, and with very little payoff. Sure, it was keen when someone shouted “MOOSE!” the other day, but that was merely one bright moment in an otherwise soulless pit. However, I’m sure we can all agree that today’s foray into bacon thievery may have just salvaged this entire storyline.
One-eyed Wolfdog
July 19th, 2008 at 7:09 am [Reply]

Curtis and Barry have clearly seen this before; Papa Wilkins is just getting warmed up for a long evening of “Ohh… Peter Pan! Ohh, so good!” mutterings, absent-minded hand-rubbing, and dripping sweat. And Mrs. Wilkins is in for yet another morose performance in the Tinkerbell costume tonight.
Mooncattie
July 19th, 2008 at 8:31 am [Reply]

GT – Ahhh, summertime…fishin’ at the ol’ dock, a good cigar, a six-pack by your side…and a Mexican boy only a phone call away!
UPDATE: What, not good enough for the Lansing Lugnuts??

JP – oh dear God, not another “rehab” story…

S-M – So while Tiger is out doing his thing, can we instead watch MJ do her’s? No, I didn’t think so.

DT – “I can’t read her lips!” “Send in Sgt. Dumbo!”
Vince M
July 19th, 2008 at 8:55 am [Reply]

I think I might like the new storyline ‘Judge Parker: Clone Wars’!

re. Curtis – for my money a cartoon is only as good as the writing behind it. MGM put out a lot of gorgeous cartoons in the pre-Avery days that are dull as yesterday’s dishwater.
Of course, expressive animation has always been crucial, and Pixar has excelled in it from the start – their trademark articulated lamp is full of personality. Compare it to the CG Mickey Mouse cartoons currently on the Disney channel that looks like a roomful of Macy’s parade floats.
Tonio
July 19th, 2008 at 9:06 am [Reply]

Re: 57 – Even Bob Iger acknowledges that Pixar saved the Disney tradition of animated storytelling. The true villain is not CGI but is Michael Eisner, who might be using Curtis as a disinformation tool to whitewash his legacy.
kalki
July 19th, 2008 at 9:23 am [Reply]

FW: “Cmon, CIndy…Throw me a pity Cleveland Steamer.”
queek
July 19th, 2008 at 9:50 am [Reply]

38: brilliant! CotW material.

118: The Luggies are a Cubs affiliate, its the White Caps that are the AA Tigers farm club. (and Lugnuts games are fun!)
John C Fremont
July 19th, 2008 at 10:07 am [Reply]

MW – It’s true, folks. Nothing says “celebrate” like Champale. And class. Nothing says “celebrate” and “class” like Champale. Plus, it goes well with Mush Scampi. Or Curried Scampi Puree. Or Wild Turkey Surprise, served with a lovely Orange Mucous Glaze.

Mutts – Absolutely adorable.

Pantom – Um… Uhhh… But… Eh, whatever.
Muffaroo of the Outdated Meme Patrol
July 19th, 2008 at 10:37 am [Reply]

True Fable @107 – What a thought. Dennis without his cowlick and bangbrows would be… Good Grief! …just a round-headed kid.

Andy Panderer @116 – I like Peter Pan okay, but Pinocchio’s my second favorite movie. Good call. Radio version here (with original voices).
strawberrymom22
July 19th, 2008 at 10:43 am [Reply]

MW: Ok, just when I thought this story line was ending they are still sitting there eating and still talking about the Bum Boat. Why can’t they do what all old people do and go to McDonald’s for a Filet ‘o Fish and a nice Sanka and be done with it?
gleeb
July 19th, 2008 at 10:54 am [Reply]

Emo kids in Cancerdeathville give up after not being able to get anyone to notice.

’shaft: When will the police notice the pattern?

Curtis: His sandwich having become a rancid mess after days of standing and being talked at by a weepy ex-animator, Curtis is now back home, eating a brownie the size of his head.

Dick: Hey! Play fair, Shirl Locke! Stop thwarting Sgt Lipreader just because Dick gave the game away.

FBoFW: Well, Robin goes first because he’s a Patterson.

‘bean: She’s bemused. “Was he always this big a feeb?”

Sam & Steve’s Kinetic Carnival: They exist at three different points in the hallway simultaneously. This is an illustration of the phenomenon known as “Persistence of Attorneys”.

Mark: Well, who can resist the great taste of bacon?
Mooncattie
July 19th, 2008 at 10:57 am [Reply]

124 queek – Do the Blue Jays have an interest in Lansing as well? I couldn’t help it – Gil Thorp and Lugnut just seem to go together somehow.
One-eyed Wolfdog
July 19th, 2008 at 11:15 am [Reply]

Well, who can resist the great taste of Kelly Welly, slathered in bacon?

(Hopefully, the answer is “I don’t know, but apparently large predators can’t.”)
Journeyman Softheart
July 19th, 2008 at 11:21 am [Reply]

Phantom: This is almost as much fun as President Fisticuffs. Andre chews the scenery and rolls his eyes like William Shatner playing a Scooby Doo villain.

It’s like watching “The Tick.” Any second now he will pull out a spoon or start talking about a man-eating cow.

The humor from our heroes both realizing that he’s mentally ill is a wonderful subtext. Wait until they discover that he actually *is* the Caribbean equivalent of the Phantom and that his Best Western decorated oil rig is just as cool a secret hide-out as Skull Cave.

Ah, superheroing – it takes all kinds.
Islamorada Girl
July 19th, 2008 at 11:31 am [Reply]

Phantom: Actually, I’ve been wondering what happened to Lionel Richie. Now I know: he’s opened up a B&B on an “abandoned” oil rig that seems to have endless supplies of fresh water, vegetables, fruits, toilet paper, etc. and an invisible housekeeper who does the laundry and turns down the guest’s sheets at night. But he’s not out of show biz, oh, no!
He does a one man production of “The Madness of King George” to entertain his visitors. Cafe la Mama would have been so proud.
Sed
July 19th, 2008 at 11:40 am [Reply]

I can only hope that Bugs is so starved by the time ElMullet finds his raft that we’re treated to Whigham’s interpretation of “McCoy hallucinates Vargas as giant anthopomorphic tamale.”
LTBF
July 19th, 2008 at 11:42 am [Reply]

I don’t blame bil Keane for being out of touch, but Jeff should know that Saturday mornings are no longer the only time you can watch cartoons. There is an entire network devoted to them.
Andy Panderer
July 19th, 2008 at 11:52 am [Reply]

126 – Muffaroo – great link! All of the original voice actors performing together! Live and in person!! I have never heard this before – I only knew of a “Lux Radio Theater” from the late 40’s with Hans Conried voicing J. Worthington Foulfellow.

I hope the “Platinum Edition” DVD of Pinocchio contains this as an extra.
odinthor
July 19th, 2008 at 12:02 pm [Reply]

#92. Zaq. — Zits is somewhat bipolar about teenagers. Half the time, it’s as you say, “teenagers are unreasonable and wrong for being the way they are, ha ha”, half the time it fawns on teens with an attitude of teens have raging hormones and have to carry heavy backpacks to school and so you see the world is just oh so cruel and tough for them and nobody understands ha ha as if each new generation past, present, and future didn’t (doesn’t/won’t) have challenges. And yes, I too am habitually rubbed the wrong way by Zits!

Agnes. — All win all week. Well done!

JP. — Yes, Sam—we’re rolling our eyes, too. Scratch your ear if you want me to call and “remind” you of an important meeting you “have to go to immediately.”

Luann. — More comix-land casual strolling into in-use bathrooms! Oy!

And now to the unspeakable filth which is today’s comix:

DtM. — Will the ladies never understand how a man feels about his sucker?

RMMD. — Don’t be fooled. Look at that cop’s hair. He’s a gay porn actor who got lost on the way to the shoot. Rex will be glad to take over at this point.

Marmaduke. — Tee-hee!—Marmy volunteered to be a participant in a nurse/bondage scene. Remember to scream when they pull off the bandages!

MW. — “Let’s ‘go sailing’ and then ‘dinner at the Bum Boat’” . . . “get our pictures taken” . . . Sorry, pal—that’s one porn video that just ain’t gonna sell!
Calico
July 19th, 2008 at 12:05 pm [Reply]

Mary sure likes serving up Gerber puréed butternut squash and strained peaches for dinner, doesn’t she? Mmmmmm.

FC – the cartoon characters are still there, Jeffy – they just happen to have suits and ties and give really boring speeches on TV.

Speaking of paying someone, Mary and Jeff will have to pay the Paparazzi to get their picture in the local rag, because no one really gives a damn.
Calico
July 19th, 2008 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

And yeah, we’re gonna have to spring for some more bandwidth if Josh mentions CC on Tues. night (which I actually hope he will).

A. What is a Charterstone Pool Party?
Q. The most boring event on Earth
Andy Panderer
July 19th, 2008 at 12:09 pm [Reply]

Click on Muffaroo’s link and enjoy long forgotten actors voice work – Cliff Edwards (Jiminy Cricket), Charles Judels (Stromboli and the Coachman), Walter Catlett (Honest John), Mel Blanc (Gideon), and Dickie Jones (Pinocchio) – the only surviving cast member.
commodorejohn
July 19th, 2008 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

9CL – Um wait what

A3G – Is it traditional, in New York, to cop a feel of anybody you tell about your engagement? Why did this not come up when Ex-Nun and Ex-Priest were getting hitched in 9 Chickweed Lane? There were plenty of feels waiting to be copped in that strip, lemme tell ya.

BS – Hot redhead…with mechanical leanings? Why the hell was I not reading this strip before!?

Curtis – Hey, Greg, they weren’t drawn on paper. But regardless, THIS WHOLE STORY IS A GIANT CROCK OF SHIT AND IF BILLINGSLEY HAD ANY WAY TO GET IN CONTACT WITH HIM I’D TELL HIM SO.

DT – Then move, dumbass.

FC – In the Circusverse, Barack Obama is apparently white. Not surprising.

FOOB – ARGH GOD END THIS THING ALREADY

FW – Finally, for once, a Funky Winkerbean character is not smirking at the “punchline.” Instead, she’s thoughtfully appraising his braaiinns.

GF – Satchel’s not quite as dumb as he looks, apparently.

GT – I really hope this guy becomes a regular. Also, panel two is even funnier taken out of context, as it becomes a snippet of crime drama.

JP – So do you think maybe Woody Wilson got tired of people like us asking what was up with cartoonists and golf, and decided to devote a whole week to proselytizing the Wonder of Golf?

MT – Oh man she’s doing it. She’s really doing it.

RMMD – Rex Morgan has just jumped all the way into self-parody, folks.
Andy Panderer
July 19th, 2008 at 12:24 pm [Reply]

Is today’s “Sherman’s Lagoon” an oh so subtle dig at the holy Lynn? If not, I’d like to think it is.
Jeremiah
July 19th, 2008 at 12:28 pm [Reply]

JP – Yay clones! I love Sam’s breakage of the 4th wall at the far right. Plus, I know that look; it’s the same here-we-go-again look I get when my brother mentions his ex-fiancee.

FOOB – One effect of my dyslexia is that I sometimes don’t see the inevitable pun in the last panel. I sat, staring at the strip and wondering if saying “Here comes the bride” was Anthony’s way of being coy or if he spied someone off frame named “Bride” and was warning Liz. When I finally got it, I groaned; I haven’t groaned that much since Lawrence’s “blooming” comment.
Andy Panderer
July 19th, 2008 at 12:28 pm [Reply]

RE: Luann

Pepsodent?
mizbecki
July 19th, 2008 at 12:54 pm [Reply]

#140 – What comic strip are you referring to as “BS”? I looked at Ballard Street and Boy on a Stick, but neither of those applied. Just curious so I could go see it for myself.
bats :[
July 19th, 2008 at 1:04 pm [Reply]

I’m getting a little woozy just looking at this. Maybe it’s the dialog:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/2682958604/sizes/o/
Gojira
July 19th, 2008 at 1:08 pm [Reply]

#144 mizbecki re #140: So I wasn’t the only one wondering. My best guess is that cj is referring to Diesel Sweeties, though not sure if the young lady’s hair is the right shade of gray for a redhead.
Calico
July 19th, 2008 at 1:09 pm [Reply]

#140 – Re: MT – Yes, Kelly is going to get torn to shreds, and Roger can film it and then put it on You Tube. I can hardly wait.

RM – “She’s a Matophobic-and we haven’t had sex in fifteen years! She even sleeps standing up!”
Talking Squirrel
July 19th, 2008 at 1:17 pm [Reply]

#32 QM: Sadly, many restaurants have “Shrimp Scampi” on the menu, which is perhaps even worse than “Seafood Scampi”.

And if they serve it “with Au Jus”, run like hell and don’t leave a tip.
Ukulele Ike
July 19th, 2008 at 1:30 pm [Reply]

Andy @ #139: Ahhhhh, that Cliff Edwards was soooooo overrated.
Uncle Lumpy
July 19th, 2008 at 1:37 pm [Reply]

#148 TS –

Same for “au jus sauce”.
geogeek
July 19th, 2008 at 1:44 pm [Reply]

I’m willing to bet that BS is Brenda Starr, my favorite fictional woman to drool over. She’s a much better red-head than the one with the pot brownies.
Gold-Digging Nanny
July 19th, 2008 at 1:55 pm [Reply]

MT — If that’s bacon, then I am a ham sandwich.
Taeraresh
July 19th, 2008 at 1:57 pm [Reply]

#144:
I suspect it was Brenda Starr that was being referred to. It definitely fits the description as far as having a hot redhead with mechanical leanings.
Gold-Digging Nanny
July 19th, 2008 at 1:57 pm [Reply]

MW — If that’s shrimp scampi, then I am a teriyaki beef kebab.
Gojira
July 19th, 2008 at 2:16 pm [Reply]

#153 Taeraresh re: #144’s question: Since your link is to today’s “Brenda Starr” and there’s a direct reference to fixing a car, the best bet is that BS = Brenda Starr. I stand corrected, I was too Chron-centric and, boy, was my interpretation of “mechanical leanings” off.
Calico
July 19th, 2008 at 2:28 pm [Reply]

Well, I don’t have much snark in me today, so I will leave you with a Mad TV Sopranos parody that is really, really funny.
Seeing as we’re talking about bacon, scampi, etc., and Kelly is one inch away from being whacked by an angry Catamount:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xp4QVYNAFcQ
Red Greenback
July 19th, 2008 at 2:29 pm [Reply]

JP: M.C. Parker
BigDave
July 19th, 2008 at 2:39 pm [Reply]

OK – Brenda Starr is just weird – at least from an art standpoint. Why the hell is she drawn with sparkles in her hair? or bizarre lower eye-lid tattoos?
Muffaroo of the Outdated Meme Patrol
July 19th, 2008 at 3:41 pm [Reply]

Andy Panderer @135 – The year before Pinocchio, they did Snow White, and had Walt in the studio. Lux has some great shows (most can be found at archive.org), including Judy Garland in The Wizard of Oz (with Hans Conried in the cast) and A Star is Born (before she did the movie). Also The Maltese Falcon with Edward G. Robinson as Spade. He’s terrific in the part!

There’s some good Orson Welles, too — both Mercury Theater and Campbell Playhouse, which was the same thing with a sponsor. I especially liked their version of The Count of Monte Cristo.
UncleJeff
July 19th, 2008 at 3:44 pm [Reply]

159 Muffaroo: Orson Welles on the radio in “The Count of Monte Cristo?”
Was that before he became “The Mount of Molded Crisco?”

I’ll go away now
Muffaroo of the Outdated Meme Patrol
July 19th, 2008 at 3:45 pm [Reply]

Saturday:

Diesel Sweeties – “But it’s worthless without my talent to play it.” Then you’re screwed, Stripey. Not only can’t you play it with your non-moving arms, I don’t even think you can take it down from that peg.

FC – “What happened to the cartoons we always watch?” They went away when you traded the wooden console TV for the three-dimensional portal to another world you’re worshipping.

FOOB – See, Liz? If you were thinking you could marry out of your inane hideous-pun-spouting family, you’ve got another think coming. Gooble gobble, one of us!

GA – With those blunked-out eyes Rufe’s cat has, I keep expecting it to say “ARF!”

JP – “I have more copies!” I see that. Copies of himself, and copies of Sam. What mad plot twist is this?

MT – It’s BACON! BACONbaconbaconBACON!

Marvin – I hope this means the boring, repetitive, inexpressive, repetitive little rat might graduate to sucking on a .22 now.

MW – Jesus, now Dr. Jeff is remaking his life to try and be what Mary likes. Next he’ll be shopping around for an estranged brother and a dying mom and running for local office.

Piranha Club – Great, now we’re going to relive the earliest Pogo continuities. Let’s cut to the chase and float them tads out of ol’ Albert.

New thread in five… four… three…
Uncle Lumpy
July 19th, 2008 at 3:52 pm [Reply]

#158 BD –

Those touches are an hommage to Dale Messick, who originated the strip and drew it for many years. Messick had an incredibly busy “girly” style that June Brigman, the current artist, merely references.

But yeah, those sparkle things annoy the hell out of me, too.
Orange Doorhinge
July 19th, 2008 at 3:55 pm [Reply]

MT: I wouldn’t think the wildcat would venture into a human camp, unless it was starving, and considering the GIANT animals inhabiting the LF, it doesn’t seem likely.

A3G: Margo is going to shake LuAnn until her head flies off (it looks pretty loose now).

FoBoWo: Might be a better idea to erect an enclosed (cyclone fence of course) area and shove all the kids there. Never mind ring or flower-bears, toss some cake to ‘em over the fence. To make it more fun, put Francie’s play house there.
dreadedcandiru2
July 19th, 2008 at 4:00 pm [Reply]

FBorFW: I wonder if Liz realizes that this is Anthony being like her dad: making a lame pun to undermine her authority and object to what she’s doing. If so, she’ll be eating phone books in no time.
Baka Gaijin
July 19th, 2008 at 4:10 pm [Reply]

Apartment 3G: Even the milk is bobbling!
commodorejohn
July 19th, 2008 at 4:16 pm [Reply]

#144 mizbecki, #146 Gojira #153 Taeraresh – By BS I am indeed referring to Brenda Starr.
dreadedcandiru2
July 19th, 2008 at 4:21 pm [Reply]

Sunday Foob Advisory: No wedding plans are being made tomorrow but we do have lame-ass parenting from Deanna. All you’ll need is a cushion on your desks for when you slam your heads down in frustration.
AeroSquid
July 19th, 2008 at 4:26 pm [Reply]

Todays Non-Sequitor Mark Trail

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3155/2682633657_85356162a4_o.jpg

The Whole Parody Thing !!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/9026046@N04/
TheFamousEccles
July 19th, 2008 at 4:43 pm [Reply]

I’m not quite sure what concerns me more about this “Funky Winkerbean:”

1: That Les is blatantly trying to seduce (well… for Les, let’s say “sad”uce. I’m so, so sorry.) Cindy by constantly talking about his long-dead wife. “And you know, Lisa always loved it when I put a white mask on before intercourse…” or:

2: In this horrifying future that Batiuk has conjured, “Mamma Mia” is still running at the Winter Garden Theatre.
AeroSquid
July 19th, 2008 at 4:43 pm [Reply]

Keep watching, Jeffy !

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3184/2682682573_68ae22a17d_o.jpg
AeroSquid
July 19th, 2008 at 5:04 pm [Reply]

Pokemon Underoos?

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3067/2682731803_093106d9cd_o.jpg
Artist formerly known as Ben
July 19th, 2008 at 5:08 pm [Reply]

7/19

A3G: The odds just increased of Margo becoming a mother. No wonder Tommie spilled her Tang.

BB: The general is “roughing it” with his testicles? Don’t wanna know!

RMMD: Either the coloring monkeys ran out of red, or Missus Mallory has been nervously sucking on licorice candies all day.

FW: Are they in a karaoke bar, or is the woman in a black top taking the place hostage? A replay of the “Pulp Fiction” finale would liven things up.

Baldo: Gracie need only mention “world hunger” and all the neighborhood kids are there, kitchenware in hand. Somewhere, Luann’s Delta curls up and weeps.

Archie: Not really the highest of compliments, all things considered.

GA: Wha? How many kinds of strokes are there? (He may be referring to stroking the cat. If so, it would be helpful to show him doing that.)

DtM: Okay, there is some menacing going on today.

MW: Perhaps the most pathetic words ever spoken by any man, anywhere.
Comixchick
July 19th, 2008 at 5:12 pm [Reply]

As usual, I’m late to the party, so I’m on the wrong thread. I was lucky enough to be on Jeopardy years ago, Josh, so I know it’s too late to wish you luck/send condolences. I do hope you did better than I did. Of course, I was sick that day (cough)…

Is anyone here reading “Watch Your Head?” We have a pregnancy story that may have a chance of being realistic, as opposed to a life lesson. And funny, too.
One-eyed Wolfdog
July 19th, 2008 at 5:20 pm [Reply]

#172 – zair eez ze stroke of genius, and zair is ze stroke of apoplex-see wis ze hemorrhaging and ze deaths of the brains cells from, ehhh, how do you say, lack of oxygen. Zese are ze kainds of strokes zat ah know about.
One-eyed Wolfdog
July 19th, 2008 at 5:25 pm [Reply]

(Every-sing ah know about ze French I have lairned it from ze excellent dialogues of Mr. Pe-tair Sell-airs.)
BenG
July 19th, 2008 at 5:25 pm [Reply]

FW: Buh? Lazy… pop culture reference…… makes no….Sense!

Luann: It’s a good thing that TJ is a mooch that doesn’t work for a living. This way he’ll never be subjected to the daunting challenge of holding down a job as a convicted sex offender.

6C: “In future….?” Seriously folks, is it really so hard to proof read a three panel comic?

Momma: See FW.
Elizabeth
July 19th, 2008 at 7:57 pm [Reply]

I had to read that FW three or four times to realize her name is Cindy and not Undy.

I like Undy better.
queek
July 20th, 2008 at 9:52 am [Reply]

129: right you are, the Luggies are a Blue Jays affiliate these days. my bad.
Crankenstank
July 20th, 2008 at 8:03 pm [Reply]

Plot twist or anachronism ahead in Gil Thorp: to be drafted in the amateur draft, you need to be a US resident. International players are signed as free agents. Vargas’ illegal status may yet reap him great rewards of free agency instead of the take it or leave it negotiations of the ML first year player draft…
InkAllergy
July 21st, 2008 at 6:55 am [Reply]

Every time I look at a black and white version of Gil Thorp, I feel like I am back in time at Bob’s Big Boy and I should be coloring in the scene. Is it just me, or does anyone else feel like were are looking at new-age examples of Highlight’s Goofus and Gallant in this strip?
Galatasaray
July 26th, 2008 at 3:43 pm [Reply]

Thank you.

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Friday quickies of cruelty

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