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Oh, no they dit’n — ay, lo hicieron!

Hey, gang, remember Margo’s vaguely ethnic comical-but-lovable fortune-tellin’ birth mother Gabriella? “Vaya, el espiritu malo!” Gabriella? “Gracias, Santa Maria!” Gabriella? I mean this Gabriella:

Well if you do, I’ve got sad news:

Apartment 3-G, 2/20/13

Yes, the passage of time and renewed romantic attentions of Martin Magee have bleached, rectified, and WASPicated our favorite Roma/Filipina/Chicana firecracker, to the point where things like “Bless you, Mr. Cooper” actually come out of her mouth.

Now I understand that as we approach the End Times, there needs to be a certain amount of convergence among God’s creatures in preparation for our ultimate unification with the One. Heck, the guys in Apartment 3-G have been interchangeable for years! So it’s not that I’m against the End of the World as a concept, or even as a near-term possibility. I’m just not ready for the Omega Point to look quite so much like Mary Worth.

Phantom, 2/20/13

In the fifth month of the daily Phantom game Who’s Got the Lioness?, Evil Miner Logician rudely dismisses his colleague’s naïve “argument from absence of evidence” without considering alternatives:

  1. Surely 500 years of the “Man-Who-Cannot-Die” legend provides some evidence of absence, no?
  2. Alternative hypothesis: the Phantom may be a vampire or zombie, and therefore dead already. Vampires and zombies are very popular right now — he should at least consider it!
  3. All right, a single null result is inconclusive. So why not add more trials and widen the scope a bit: try hanging, burning, shooting, drowning, poisoning, or simply boring him to death. God knows it’s working on us.

Marvin, 2/20/13

For the past several days Marvin’s been having a late-night chat with “his worst nightmare” on the right here. Today we learn that “Marvin nightmare” = “Marvin bowel movement”, i.e., the visitor is in fact Marvin’s own poo come to terrifying life. This being Marvin, such a development was of course inevitable. But we should still be grateful that Disney’s ironclad trademark control over the name “Poo” keeps the newcomer from having his own spinoff strip.

And speaking of poo:

Mary Worth, 2/20/13

John Dill has finally digested his prizewinning cake.

– Uncle Lumpy

254 responses to “Oh, no they dit’n — ay, lo hicieron!

  1. Droopy Says
    February 20th, 2013 at 1:50 am [Reply]

    Trust me on this, even if I can’t get the HTML tags to work: http://www.gocomics.com/lio

    9Dickweed Lane: If that’s a real Burber female, where are the horrendous fangs?

    Spiderdick: Can we say “proximity fuse”? No. Can we say “command detonation”? No. Can we say horseshit? Yes, and one out of three ain’t good.

    Mock Travail: Yes, that’s right, Mark rail is empowered to make an outdoor writer’s arrest! Much more effective than a mere citizen’s arrest!

    Funky Waterbore: Today this strip is full of shop.

    Family Circus: With only one nostril, Jeffy’s sneeze could be a mind-blowing experience.

    Phantom: Black thug has a point, white thug. You two bored Walker to death.

    Pluggers: Unlike Pluggers, actual animals have enough sense not to stuff themselves.

    Phantom: Kit, wake up! The week is still young and something may happen after all!

    Eohs: What a shame that Brookins has to live in America, where politicians aren’t all perfect.

    Mary Mirthless: Fair’s fair, let’s credit the dialog to ELIZA.

  2. Dawn Weston's Evil Twin
    February 20th, 2013 at 1:56 am [Reply]

    YES! Second post!

  3. Dawn Weston's Evil Twin
    February 20th, 2013 at 1:57 am [Reply]

    Thanks, Uncle Lumpy, for that hilarious commentary on “Mary Worth”! I think John Dill has a big crush on Mary now.

  4. Ratiocinator
    February 20th, 2013 at 1:58 am [Reply]

    9CL: AHHHH PANEL TWO THE HORROR HIDEMEHIDEMEHIDEME!

    You know what’s eerie? Yesterday I said in the comments here that a real person, instead of angrily describing the whatever-their-names-are brothers for hours with more sesquipedalian words than actually exist in the English language (did she have to switch to Italian, and then Spanish, and then Portuguese, and just keep on going like that in order to keep going long enough to justify the brewing of coffee to keep everybody awake and listening to her?), would just say “Okay, I get it, and I agree that they’re assholes.”

    And today the terrifying monster that was once a human veterinarian is calling them assholes.

    Does this mean that McEldowney lurks here? Does this mean that he’s taking my advice? Does this mean…I can make him do whatever I want???

    Oh, this could get really fun!

    ASM: Well, I’ll give Parker this. Instead of doing the thing we’d expect of Peter Parker and just going “Huh, well, good luck with that missile, see ya!” he’s actually going to attempt to stop Daredevil from being killed.

    “Attempt” being the key word.

    “Laughable” being the adjective that will apply to his attempt, probably.

    JP: He used to have “some government job”, his daughter is with the CIA, and she dispenses information about him to her fiance on what can only be described as a “need to know” basis…hmmm….oh, I know! He worked behind the counter at the DMV, right? No, wait, I’d like to change my answer! Fish and Game Commission, he was with the Fish and Game Commission!

    Luann: Some people will do anything to get noticed! They may go to great lengths like using hairspray and putting on lipstick, for example! Aren’t those things always just desperate pleas for attention by somebody who is trying too hard?

    RMMD: Hey Honey, it’s bound to work one of these days! If you used my shower and showed me how you weren’t like other girls I think I’d love you, whether you had a vagina, penis, or meteorite between your legs!

    But seriously, correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t a problem most strippers have that they have too many men trying to get their attention? I guess it’s possible that Honey doesn’t want to date customers because she thinks they’re all skeevy, but still, only in a fictional universe like this one would an attractive woman like that be reduced to tears because she’s lonely.

    Slylock: Haha, the joke’s on you, little girl! If you keep throwing money into pigs like that instead of saving it in some sort of bank, you’ll never have enough to buy all of those things!

  5. Ratiocinator
    February 20th, 2013 at 2:03 am [Reply]

    Oops, I meant that Juliette would say that she agreed they were assholes and not listen for hours if she acted like a real person, and the brunette whose name I don’t know wouldn’t be able to keep going that long if she were a real person.

    But to test my theory about Brooke being a puppet whose strings I’m holding:

    HEY MCELDOWNEY! DRAW THORAX GETTING HIT BY A FLEET OF BUSES!

    Now we play the waiting game…

  6. MySpoonIsTooBig
    February 20th, 2013 at 2:14 am [Reply]

    @Ukulele Ike (#y276): Ahh, I didn’t refer by name in my comment, I mentioned how that album was huge for me my freshman year of highschool. That’s why it didn’t show up when you searched the name.

    I keep going back to “Good-Bye Joe”, it’s probably one of the few sweet-end-of-bittersweet breakup songs ever recorded.

    Luann: There’s something that has always bugged me about the way Evans writes and draws Tiffany, but I can’t put my finger on it. Oh, here comes John Berger, author of Ways of Seeing! Mr. Berger, care to offer any insights?

    “You painted a naked woman because you enjoyed looking at her, put a mirror in her hand and you called the painting “Vanity,” thus morally condemning the woman whose nakedness you had depicted for you own pleasure.”

    YES AND THIS IS WHY THE PORTRAYAL OF TIFFANY MAKES ME STABBY! Thank you John, you can be on your merry way.

  7. Mibbitmaker
    February 20th, 2013 at 2:27 am [Reply]

    MW: John Dill is finally completing his transformation from sad little cake maker to Aldo 2.0 — he shall finally stop resembling Mr. Whipple and turn into Capt. Kangaroo.

    A3G: Those aren’t Margo’s parents! THEY’RE IMPOSTERS!!!!

    Phantom: Oddly enough, the gentleman with the thin moustache is starting to sound exactly like John McLoughlin (of “…Group” fame).

  8. Ratiocinator
    February 20th, 2013 at 2:35 am [Reply]

    @ralph (#y255):

    I’ve read the comments and discovered that there apparently are people who do read 9CL.

    Well, it’s hard to make fun of a strip if you don’t read it. Rest assured, I’m not a fan of McEldowney’s work or McEldowney as a person.

  9. tallyHO
    February 20th, 2013 at 2:37 am [Reply]

    spider-man. spi-der-man
    Ride the missile, Mister Parker!

    a3G
    That sentimental, semi-mental, hospital moment would be just a wee bit better if Daddio Magee wasn’t wearing one of Evan Goldenboy’s sportcoats.

    Mary Worth
    Knowing he must think quicker on his feet and stop being so vague in expressing his deep affections for Mary:

    Auto-Tuned John Dill:

    Like Mister Whipple,
    I’m here to sex up my game!
    MaryMary, Gonna show you
    How John Dill got his name!

    They say ya can’t have yo cake
    And eat it, too!
    Well, I got news for you, Mary!
    My cake is you!

    So, hey!
    What you say, baby!
    Why don’t you join me
    And relish some of my
    Sweet pickle love!

    //NEWSFLASH!
    Doctor Jeff was leaning of the window of Mary’s Condo with a high powered pastry gun! Oh, the humanity!
    Eyewitnesses say there was icing and frosting and those little, silver, supposedly edible balls everywhere! Thankfully Mary Worth made it away just in time.

    Some eyewitnesses, visibly intoxicated, say the ghost of Aldo kicked her in the rear, saving her life. John Dill jumped to push Mary out of the way of the Piper Sniper but inadvertently put himself in the line of fire. He took the shot of whipped sugar right in the mouth!

    He is now officially on his way to better things!

  10. Marion Delgado
    February 20th, 2013 at 2:47 am [Reply]

    There is no God! The real Gabriella is an abductee and that “Martin” and “Gabriella” are alienígenas invasores espaciales.

  11. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    February 20th, 2013 at 2:49 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#1): She’s not a real Burber, but a sort of knock-off apprentice.

    //And, clearly, yelling at top volume is just the thing you want to do around an already skittish and balky cow in a confined space…

    @Ratiocinator (#4): You know, I’ve been half-suspecting he’s lurking around here, too. There are just too many coincidences between what comes up in conversation here, and what shows up in the strip.

    //The other possibility is that he’s infected our thoughts to such an extent that we’re actually predicting what he’ll write, but that’s too horrifying a thought to contemplate. ::wide toothy maw of screaming::

  12. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 20th, 2013 at 3:20 am [Reply]

    I’m pretty sure John is referring to his derrière, Uncle Lumpy.

    You can really pack on the pounds eating cake — prizewinning or otherwise!

  13. gwell
    February 20th, 2013 at 3:27 am [Reply]

    I’m trying to figure out what John Dill is doing in that last panel of Mary Worth. Action lines on every visible surface of his body seem to indicate that either he’s going into convulsions or doing some kind of wildly gyrating hip thrusts in Mary’s direction.

  14. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 20th, 2013 at 3:33 am [Reply]

    @Marion Delgado (#10): “Martin” and “Gabriella” are alienígenas invasores espaciales.

    The late Ray Walston played Uncle MARTIN on My Favorite Martian. Just one of those cosmic coincidences… or is it?

  15. Alison
    February 20th, 2013 at 3:39 am [Reply]

    “Mary Worth”: When I first read this, I misread Mr. Dill’s dialogue as “I’ll be leaving MY BEST FRIEND behind me”, and I thought, Oooh, what a creeper. Then I realized he simply said he was leaving “the best”. Now he seems a little less creepy. Congrats, Mr. Dill! …It’s just too bad Mary is as damn annoying as ever.

    Also, “You are on your way to better things” sounds like a vague reference to death.

    “Marvin”: I remember the days when this strip wasn’t all poop, all the time. It was never a hilarious comic, but at least it used to cover topics other than, “Look, Marvin shit himself again!” I don’t know when this change took place. I just know it’s incredibly gross.

  16. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 20th, 2013 at 3:55 am [Reply]

    Heathcliff

    These are the kind of songbirds who know the “dirty” lyrics to Louie Louie:

    http://www.gocomics.com/heathcliff/2013/02/20

  17. Droopy Says
    February 20th, 2013 at 4:06 am [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#11): So she doesn’t get the full Burber Bite until she drinks their blood by the light of the full moon?

  18. Ed Dravecky
    February 20th, 2013 at 4:14 am [Reply]

    Gabriella morphing from wise Latina into chalky WASP, going from Sonia Sotomayor to Sandra Day O’Connor, is a surprising step backward for a strip that prefers to remain completely motionless for months at a time.

  19. Dale
    February 20th, 2013 at 4:14 am [Reply]

    @Ratiocinator (#8):

    It’s always popular to criticize based only on hearsay.
    MARK TRAIL can have people imprisoned by repeating a forced confession.

  20. Mr. O’Malley
    February 20th, 2013 at 4:15 am [Reply]

    Phantom: They enticed that lioness into the cage with a huge chunk of meat just a couple of hours ago. Now she’s not hungry. She came over to investigate whether The-Ghost-Who-Lies-Down was any threat, as cats will do, and now she’s concluded he’s not. Furthermore, he’s not moving, so he’d be no fun to play with.

    She has no motivation to do anything else at this point. If he starts moving around, or if she gets a bit peckish, she might reconsider things.

    In real life anyone who got whacked on the head hard enough to cause unconsciousness would require medical attention, but instant recovery from such things is such a common trope in adventure fiction that we need hardly expect anything else.

  21. Alfred E. Neuman
    February 20th, 2013 at 4:16 am [Reply]

    A3G— Tio Grumoso, today’s strip definitely rated a “Mira que tiene cosa!!”

    MW— “Yes, but I’ll be leaving my best behind me.” Isn’t that supposed to be Marvin’s line?

  22. Ed Dravecky
    February 20th, 2013 at 4:21 am [Reply]

    Ha! It’s funny because John Dill is in a real pickle! (Yes, I do feel shame for this.)

  23. Mr. O’Malley
    February 20th, 2013 at 4:30 am [Reply]

    @MySpoonIsTooBig (#6): “Goodbye Joe” was on her first album. “Once It Was Alright Now (Farmer Joe)” was on Eli and the Thirteenth Confession.

    The first album was recorded in 1966 when she had just turned 19.

  24. seismic-2
    February 20th, 2013 at 4:56 am [Reply]

    A3G: So Margo’s parents (well, except for the homicidal one who was shipped off to an attic somewhere upstate) have indeed been summoned, as Nurse Ratched had commanded, but for what? To witness Margo’s suffering from a “really, really, really bad hangover”, which appears to be all that’s wrong with her? Well, at least they’ll get to shake Greg’s badly burned hands and thank him for – oh wait, we can’t see Greg’s hands, since Frank Bolle is still looking for some clip art of bandages. Well, at least Gabriella’s WASP-ish dialog lets us know that the Pod People have invaded, except that of course we already knew that for years, based on the never-fully-formed pod that is Tommie.

  25. Dale
    February 20th, 2013 at 5:13 am [Reply]

    PHANTOM -

    Rasputin: poison, shoot (multiple times), dump in freezing river.

    Dismemberment is good because it gives an indication of success. But it’s messy. A hungry lion could help. It would still be messy, but you’d have an explanation.

  26. Ratiocinator
    February 20th, 2013 at 5:42 am [Reply]

    @Dale (#25):

    Rasputin: poison, shoot (multiple times), dump in freezing river.

    That reminds me of another ear worm! Rah rah Rasputin/Lover of the Russian queen…

  27. Droopy Says
    February 20th, 2013 at 6:09 am [Reply]

    Flatulent Alley: Is anything going to happen beside two jackasses arguing over a mule? Will it take another month before the mule takes things into her own hands? Okay. It’s good to know Scancarelli’s storytelling skills are as potent as ever.

  28. Liam
    February 20th, 2013 at 6:20 am [Reply]

    Love Is-That doesn’t look like sunblock. And shouldn’t it be all over her face instead of his.

    MT-”Ask Mark if he knows the ‘Hail Mary’.”

    MW-”Now hurry you have a plane to catch that my minions may or may not have sabotaged to crash so we never have to talk about you again when you leave here.”

    RMMD-What about your father didn’t he love you enough or too much as a kid?

    Spiderman-When heat seeking missiles are outlawed only super villains and crime lords will have heat seeking missiles.

    A3G-And from his hospital bed in a medical induced coma the Professor thinks to himself, “Ingrates”.

    A3G 2-I care so deeply for Margo that she doesn’t even know we are engaged. The wedding will be in April.

  29. Oregonian
    February 20th, 2013 at 6:22 am [Reply]

    @Ed Dravecky (#22):

    Ha! It’s funny because John Dill is in a real pickle! (Yes, I do feel shame for this.)

    Are you gherkin us around??

  30. matt w
    February 20th, 2013 at 7:06 am [Reply]

    “Passage of time”? In Apartment 3-G? It is the end of the world.

  31. Pozzo
    February 20th, 2013 at 7:22 am [Reply]

    If John Dill is trying to imitate Rex Morgan’s “What did I get into now?” gesture from yesterday, it needs work.

  32. pugfuggly
    February 20th, 2013 at 7:22 am [Reply]

    A3G Ethnic Gabriella is no more? No, I refuse to believe it….these people must be con artists, enemies of Margo come to take advantage of her weakened state! And although Tommie looks like and accomplice, she’s really just an idiot.

    MW Quit your snivelling, John Dill! Can’t you see by Mary’s expression that she tires of this plotline?!

    ASM “Oh no! We’re in it together now! Right, buddy? Right, pal? Hold on, I’m just going to get a quick shot of us together for my facebook profile….”

    FW “Well I endangered my student’s lives during an electrical storm! Beat that!”

    MT Go to jail? For cheating at a fishing derby? I don’t know what kind of justice gets doled out in the Trailverse for infractions like that, but it seems a bit harsh. Unless….oh god, what are they doing to those fish????!

  33. José Jiménez
    February 20th, 2013 at 7:58 am [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#12): John Dill es un “lard ass” —

    JA!JA!JA!JA!JA!JA!JA!JA!JA!JA!JA!JA!JA!JA!JA!JA!JA!JA!JA!JA!JA!JA!JA!JA!JA!JA!

  34. Liam
    February 20th, 2013 at 8:01 am [Reply]

    MW-”I am sending you eastward, John, so you may spread the message about me.”

    MW 2-That’s the problem with running a cult. Your followers become so dependent on you that they can’t survive without you.

  35. Liam
    February 20th, 2013 at 8:03 am [Reply]

    MW-Now, John, click your heels together three times and say, “There is no place like New York”.

  36. Liam
    February 20th, 2013 at 8:07 am [Reply]

    MW-”There’s nothing special about me except the way I can get people to do things that I want done. You had the ability within you all this time to create solid pink tiered cakes.”

  37. CanuckDownSouth
    February 20th, 2013 at 8:15 am [Reply]

    RMMD: Honey’s lonely because she doesn’t want the attention of partying boys or stripclub customers, but just wants to date marriage-minded guys so she can settle down… Rex is giving us the Christian Singles Ad Girl origin story!

  38. pugfuggly
    February 20th, 2013 at 8:25 am [Reply]

    Phantom ‘Ha, Ha! Wrong!’ is right: simply witnessing someone not die should not convince you that they’re immortal.

    Marvin Every time you lay a turd, a nightmare gets its wings…

  39. Liam
    February 20th, 2013 at 8:28 am [Reply]

    RMMD-What about your father didn’t he love you enough or too much as a kid?

    RMMD 2-”What Rex me and have isn’t love it is a sham. I am his beard.”

  40. Old Folkie
    February 20th, 2013 at 8:29 am [Reply]

    @MySpoonIsTooBig (#6): You’re the first person I’ve known (other than me) whose read Berger’s “Ways Of Seeing.” One of the funniest and perceptive books I’ve read.

  41. Old Folkie
    February 20th, 2013 at 8:32 am [Reply]

    Sally: An apt description of preparation of any Powerpoint presentation I ever sat through.
    A3G: Margo has parents? I thought she was born from the side of Zeus.
    MT: It’s a little late for Rod to start being careful about what he says…

  42. Spunde
    February 20th, 2013 at 8:33 am [Reply]

    MW: Mary’s thousand yard stare in the second panel says, “Yes, I *am* the best. It is my blessing… and my curse.”

  43. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 20th, 2013 at 8:33 am [Reply]

    Shoe — Is he calling Belfry a “two-faced politician”? Or is he referring to the portly politician’s DOUBLE chin? Which is it?

    http://www.jsonline.com/comics/32402404.html?feature_id=Shoe&feature_date=2013-02-20

  44. Government Cheese
    February 20th, 2013 at 8:33 am [Reply]

    Luann: I’m going to lure him here with my nudity, I mean nude pictures of Gunther!

    MW: I’m leaving the best behind me! Oh, and Mary, don’t mind if I start hopping up and down on one foot and begin fondling myself, it’s the Dill happy dance.

  45. Hogenmogen
    February 20th, 2013 at 8:35 am [Reply]

    Phantom:
    White miner: This is just wrong!

    Black miner: Hey, you weren’t the one who had his ass kicked for a week straight while listening to his self-righteous schtick. Let ME make some decisions here, ok?

  46. Revenge4Aldo
    February 20th, 2013 at 8:36 am [Reply]

    MT It all makes sense now… Mark Trail takes place in a dystopia where nature writers are the only law.

  47. btown
    February 20th, 2013 at 8:38 am [Reply]

    Pluggers would be amusing today if it depicted Mr. Chickenlady crouched on the floor, scowling

  48. Hogenmogen
    February 20th, 2013 at 8:41 am [Reply]

    Biggest laugh of the day:

    Catfish: We don’t want to get caught!
    Bassy: Don’t worry, I will!

  49. Brian Weaver
    February 20th, 2013 at 8:43 am [Reply]

    Mary Worth : Regarding cake wins.
    John ought to have said : “I’ll be leaving the worth behind me.” Hahahahahah! Oh sorry.

  50. Lumaca Morente
    February 20th, 2013 at 8:44 am [Reply]

    Phantom: First “That’s just mean!” and now “That’s just wrong!” Who wrote this dialog? Greg Evans?

    RWO: Let’s all try to work the sentence “That’s me swan! Who wants to see me loon?” into a conversation today.

    RWO, 2: This line would fit nicely into Gil Thorpe! “That’s me peacock!”

  51. Hogenmogen
    February 20th, 2013 at 8:49 am [Reply]

    RMMD: Poor Honey. Nobuddy wuvs her. Hint, Hon, Snarky the Surfer Dude will jump your bones in a heartbeat.

    Luann: Tiff has a plan to lure Quill back to the states. Of course, he already said he was coming. And his visit is wholly dependent on his father’s job. Which apparently varies on current business needs which constantly fluctuate in an ever changing marketplace. Hint, Tiff: corner the bond market and you control the economy!

  52. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 20th, 2013 at 8:59 am [Reply]

    Drabble: How nice of Mr. Fagan, Master Drabble-ist, to explain yesterday’s comic today. Sort of. I understand that the dog doesn’t know what a badger looks like. I suppose Mr. Fagan could help him, but “badger drawing” is illegal most places. // But yesterday, he said that Ralph smelled like a badger.

    FW: Snow? Luxury! One year the volcano erupted during band competition, and we had to march through molten lava!

    H&J: Ok. He actually did say that. “Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.”
    Preface to Transit of Venus: Poems by Harry Crosby (1931)

    Transit of Venus. Heh. Heh. // I’m sure Albert Camus said something like it though, only better.

    Herman: Don’t wait up. // But… you don’t smoke!

    Lockhorns: The Lockhorns may be the one couple whose fortune cookies are not improved by adding the words “in bed” to the end.

    NS: I couldn’t resist one more Rexing.

  53. RavenHawk
    February 20th, 2013 at 9:01 am [Reply]

    MW: Aww, it’s okay. I packed an extra roll of Charmin for you to squeeze on the plane. You’ll be fine.

  54. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 20th, 2013 at 9:03 am [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#38): … simply witnessing someone not die should not convince you that they’re immortal.

    Nevertheless, there is a distinct correlation between immortal people and people who don’t die. Talk your way around that, Mr. Fuggly!

  55. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 20th, 2013 at 9:05 am [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#45): Heh, they’re BOTH minors. Which means they CAN’T order a Purple Zombie at the Nairobi Bar & Grill.

  56. Marc
    February 20th, 2013 at 9:12 am [Reply]

    9CL- Isn’t simply calling someone an asshole too beefwitted for you Brooke? Or did you accidentally destroy your thesaurus yesterday and don’t know what to do without it?

    A3G- So, did Bolle lose all the old clip art of Margo’s parents?

    Mark Trail- “You have to be careful what you say Rod. You don’t want to get caught.”
    “WHAT!? Are you accusing me if cheating?”

    MT2- Listen Jackelrod, first off, nature writers do not have the power to make arrests. They have no legal authority. Second of all, no matter how hard you wish and how much you want it to be true, cheating at fishing is not grounds for imprisonment.

    Mary Worth- This is going to end with Dill jumping off the Empire State Building, depression style.

    Funky- How is Dinkle’s wife still sober at this point?

    Luann- She’s exactly right about Luann.

  57. gleeb
    February 20th, 2013 at 9:14 am [Reply]

    3-G: Shirts done up to the collar button and no neckties? They aren’t Margo’s parents, they’re a couple of Iranian trade representatives.

    ‘shaft: GIZMOES!

    ‘bean: So, as awful and boring as it is, why isn’t Lefty in there trading anecdotes about band crap? Maybe we’ve found out why she is mistaken for someone who has nothing to do with leading.

    Baldo: Silly Tia Carmen. You can’t beat the appeal of vendos!

    Between Fiends: For the third day, we have the horrors of buying doughnuts.

    Dick: And, because Tracy is busy doing something we don’t get to see, little Toad is the heroine of the day! Still, “THOK” is no “QLUNQ”.

    F-: QLUNQ! Take THAT completely anonymous police department!

    Thorp: That’s very sweet. But Bobby Ottewill, Peacock Pope is kind of an idiot.

    Keef Like: So, do you stand to gain an inheritance? Is that why you’re trying to put your old man into an early grave?

    June Morgan, RN: Wow, talk about so low that rock bottom looks like up.

  58. pugfuggly
    February 20th, 2013 at 9:23 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#54):

    Nevertheless, there is a distinct correlation between immortal people and people who don’t die. Talk your way around that, Mr. Fuggly!

    I could go on about the dangers of equating correlation with causation, but I’m too busy saying ‘They call me MISTER Fuggly!’ over and over in my best Sidney Poitier voice.

  59. Dood
    February 20th, 2013 at 9:25 am [Reply]

    Apartment 3-G or Blazing Buildings: “Margo! Santa Maria!”

  60. Hibbleton
    February 20th, 2013 at 9:26 am [Reply]

    A3G: Is this one of those sci-fi time loop things? Margo’s biological parents have been replaced in the past and at this very moment, Margo is transforming into a nordic beauty, so pale, she makes Lu Ann look ethnic.

  61. Dood
    February 20th, 2013 at 9:27 am [Reply]

    Apartment 3-G: Hugh Beuamont and Barbara Billingsley have found some work.

  62. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 20th, 2013 at 9:28 am [Reply]

    Lio: WIN!

    NAoQV: “The white man shall always win against the Hottentot, for we have the Maxim Gun, and he has not.” also, ROFL!

    SBp: Syssyphus didn’t GET days off, that’s sort of the POINT of eternal damnation. other than that, a rather amusing concept at least.

    PBS: cable company jokes, lower hanging fruit even than golf gags. Pastis, you’re better than this.

    Zits: Jeremy has a future being ‘gay for pay’. Just sayin’.

    DT: “Throws Like A Girl” subverted.

    GT: “sweet baboo” is trademarked, apparently.

    MG&G: /headdesk.

    Pluggers: wrong.

    RMMD: yes, yes you were. (c’mon, June, offer a threeway to tide her over!)

    6Cx: Siriusly?

    rMC: one of the bestest ones in the whole canon. *golf clap*

    Retail: oh, well played! *lolz*

  63. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 20th, 2013 at 9:29 am [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#32): Go to jail? For cheating at a fishing derby?

    Certainly. There are substantial prizes involved. Compassing a fraud to win a prize can certainly land you in jail. Here’s a story about two guys facing 50 years in the hoosegow for a similar crime to what Catfish and Rod are evidently doing.

    // Mark Trail: High drama, ripped from the headlines!

  64. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 20th, 2013 at 9:30 am [Reply]

    Love Is. . . .all-in-the-family facials!!!!!

    *squick*

  65. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 20th, 2013 at 9:35 am [Reply]

    @Marc (#56): …no matter how hard you wish and how much you want it to be true, cheating at fishing is not grounds for imprisonment.

    Google “jail for cheating fishing tournament”.

  66. wossname
    February 20th, 2013 at 9:45 am [Reply]

    Thanks, Uncle Lumpy, for sparing me the research to confirm that Gabriella used to have black hair. And in other color monkey hair fail news… Archie is cheating on both Betty and Veronica with that new girl in school with the puce hair!

    JP – Clearly April’s dad was a master spy, hence her involvement with the CIA. I’m calling that he doesn’t have pancreatic cancer at all, he has some mysterious ailment caused by spores a Soviet agent put on his broccoli back in 1957.

    Lio made me SOL (snerk out loud).

    A S-M – We should have started a pool on Monday, guessing what day the missile will hit. Actually, we probably still have time.

  67. Mikey
    February 20th, 2013 at 9:52 am [Reply]

  68. TheDiva
    February 20th, 2013 at 9:59 am [Reply]

    A3G: Ethnic transformation aside, Gabriella looks pretty chipper for someone whose daughter nearly died.

    MW: Damn, when did Mary become the Luann of Charterstone? The kindly old widowers are falling over themselves to adore her!

    Phantom: You’re hearing panel two in Kevin Spacey’s voice, admit it.

  69. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 20th, 2013 at 10:00 am [Reply]

  70. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 20th, 2013 at 10:01 am [Reply]

  71. The Right Venerable Pasdordan
    February 20th, 2013 at 10:01 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#65): I googled “jail for cheating fishing tournament” like you suggested. The only result was a link to Mark Trail’s classic work Fear and Loathing On The Pro Bass Circuit. Did you know every time Rusty asks him to go fishing, he takes a hit of ether?

  72. The Right Venerable Pasdordan
    February 20th, 2013 at 10:02 am [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#68): If your daughter were Margo, wouldn’t you look chipper? She’s been waiting decades to get that sociopath out of her life.

  73. Lumaca Morente
    February 20th, 2013 at 10:02 am [Reply]

    @wossname (#66): Did the girl with the puce hair also have kaleidoscope eyes? o-0

  74. Inkwell
    February 20th, 2013 at 10:04 am [Reply]

    Wow. Just wow. A moment of silence for our dear Gabriella. May she rest in– no, no. May she bust her way out of the fiery underworld and reclaim her soul to continue entertaining us.

  75. Lumaca Morente
    February 20th, 2013 at 10:04 am [Reply]

    @The Right Venerable Pasdordan (#72): I read this as “If you’re daughter were Margo, wood…chipper…”

  76. Lumaca Morente
    February 20th, 2013 at 10:05 am [Reply]

    @Inkwell (#74): Gabriella has stopped dying her hair. Get over it.

  77. Lumaca Morente
    February 20th, 2013 at 10:05 am [Reply]

    No one considered that Margo is recovering by sucking the life force out of her mother?

  78. endless sky
    February 20th, 2013 at 10:08 am [Reply]

    @Marc (#56): FW: How do we know that Dinkle’s wife is sober? She’s so experienced at her closet drinking now that everyone’s fooled. They think she always has such fresh minty breath.

    Blondie: Does it seem odd that Blondie would be talking about another couple’s sleeping arrangements? How did she find this out? From the wife or the husband? Is this strip taking a new direction?

  79. Dennis Jimenez
    February 20th, 2013 at 10:12 am [Reply]

    A3G – That’s Alexander Hamilton in the green, right? Watch out of Aaron Burr, Al….

    Phantom – So where’s the Bow-Flex – ya know they’ve got a Bow-Flex in there somewhere….

    Marvin – I make this strip out to say, Marvin can shit a cube, a bunny and Oscar the Grouch….

    MW – Not to worry – there’s Crisco in the Big Apple, too….

    Adios Amigos, DJ.

  80. Lumaca Morente
    February 20th, 2013 at 10:13 am [Reply]

    @endless sky (#78): It’s really bad when you’re swilling creme de menthe. (Take it from one who knows.)

  81. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 20th, 2013 at 10:13 am [Reply]

    A3G: Wait, what? Did Gabriella marry Martin and get plastic surgery to make her over into Jane Alexander? What’s going on?

    Marvin: This is Marvin Miller. You’re just a drop in the poop bucket, pal.

    MT: “Trail’s an outdoor writer… If he finds out what we’re doing, it would put us both in jail.” Done. Nothing I can say could possibly top the insanity of these two sentences put together.

    FW: “oh no oh mercy we’re having a band competition and snowflakes are falling from the sky GOD WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN US?!?”

    Archie: Ah, “A Knight’s Tale” finally makes its way to Riverdale. But I don’t think Jughead is giving thumbs down to the movie. He’s warning Archie of the reaction elderly readers will have to dating a girl who’s not Betty or Veronica.

    RMMD: Honey has no one to lover her like Rex… no one to love her like Rex loves… If she has time maybe June should sit this girl down and set her straight about a few things.

    BB: Miss Buxley can speak more freely because she’s the one who hides Amos’ ammo when he passes out.

    DT: That’s it, the umpire will eject Toad from the game.

    Blondie: Joe’s been exiled from the bedroom so that Marcia can make a hot racket with her tennis pro, in a story so wretched it even affects Dagwood.

    DtM: Margaret Wade, the next writer for Judge Parker.

    S-M: Wilson Fisk goes up against Daredevil more often now, but he still may be Spidey’s perfect nemesis. Do you see the size of that TV set?

    H&J: Before whispering lecherous nothings into his customer’s ear Jamaal should have downloaded Stanley Parker’s big word app so it would sound prettier and harder to understand.

  82. TheDiva
    February 20th, 2013 at 10:18 am [Reply]

    9CL: Ugh, the McEldowney Hellmouth has merged with the Batiuk Lopsided Smirk to create the ultimate horror maw.

    C’shaft: This is the last strip and the last character that should be shaking its finger at the dangerous driving practices of The Kids These Days.

    FW: Are there any, you know, professional workshops or keynote speakers or actual convention-type stuff at this convention? Or is it just retired guys with no life trotting out tired gags?

    Lio: Fourth-Wall Win!

    Luann: Today Tiffany is condemned for the terrible crime of wearing makeup and drawing attention to herself, rather than going veiled with her eyes lowered like a proper woman should.

    MT: “We need to be careful, so let’s discuss our plans as loudly as possible in this crowded restaurant!”

    Pibgorn: Brooke tries desperately to prove that he hasn’t lost the plot in every possible sense.

    Pluggers have trouble getting their dog-slaves to appreciate the joy of being severely over-medicated.

    Retail: Word.

    SM: In other news, the Kingpin’s ecstasy mounts as he envisions his missile penetrating Daredevil.

  83. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 20th, 2013 at 10:22 am [Reply]

    @Marc (#56):

    Funky- How is Dinkle’s wife still sober at this point?

    She’s just learned to hold her liquor really well.

  84. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 20th, 2013 at 10:29 am [Reply]

    Yorkshire band directors, because Albert Camus would have wanted it that way.

  85. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 20th, 2013 at 10:33 am [Reply]

    @wossname (#66): Archie is cheating on both Betty and Veronica with that new girl in school with the puce hair!

    Archie’s constant quest for pucey is both disgusting and disturbing.

  86. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 20th, 2013 at 10:33 am [Reply]

    @The Right Venerable Pasdordan (#71): Mark Trail’s classic work Fear and Loathing On The Pro Bass Circuit

    I know that book! “We were half way to the the southern part of the lake when the drugs began to take hold…”

  87. Justin
    February 20th, 2013 at 10:35 am [Reply]

    Gabriella’s apparent rapid aging is no doubt due to a Dorian Gray-esque curse Margo put upon her. Yes, she is her mother, but Margo needs her immortality.

  88. The Right Venerable Pasdordan
    February 20th, 2013 at 10:40 am [Reply]

    The Amazing Spider-Man: Ah, it’s supposed to take you out. Is it supposed to show you a good time? Make you eggs in the morning?

    // Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

    I would really like the same standards of evidence and argumentation applied to the Phantom’s…er…not-death used on Andy Capp’s not-funny punchline. Go on, prove to me that I’m wrong when I say we just saw Andy not funny.

    Apt. 3-G: You care deeply about our daughter? Then let her die!! Help her to escape this living hell of pastel colors, interchangeable people and weird scribbles on the wall! Please, Greg: we thought we could count on Evan, but he’s a bungler…

    9 Chickweed Lane: Oh, look, everybody! Brooke slipped a naughty word onto the comics pages of, gosh, must be ten newspapers! That’ll show the beefwits.

    Crock: Yesterday, I got my theology students to wrestle with the problem of theodicy. I should have showed them this strip. What kind of a MONSTER creates a fat blob for the sole purpose of being mocked for being a fat blob?

    Dick Tracy: How lame a Dick Tracy villain do you have to be to die a non-ironic death? Assuming Sweat Baux buys it here, you’d have to be worse than a toothless, sweaty old man. Peter Parker’s up to the challenge, what do you think?

    Frank and Ernest: Cue “Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald” earworm…

    Mark Trail: If any of you are familiar with True Swamp, today’s panel two should be of interest. God, I hope that’s not Lenny.

    Mary Worth: 10̸ BETTER >! BEST 20̸ ENTER PLATITUDE

    Rex Morgan, M.D.: Well, if by “love” you mean someone who barely remembers your name, much less how to interact with you, then no, I don’t suppose you do.

    // That’s where you’re wrong, said June, as she slowly unzipped her hoodie. BOW CHICKA WOW

    Scary Go Round: Ha ha ha!!! The Night Stalker is about to be defeated by the ghost of Kurt Cobain. It’s funny because he was the spokesman for my generation! Ha ha ha – oh, crap. I made myself sad.

  89. The Right Venerable Pasdordan
    February 20th, 2013 at 10:42 am [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#75): You’ve been watching too much Fargo, I think.

  90. The Right Venerable Pasdordan
    February 20th, 2013 at 10:43 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#86): Mark Trail would be so much better if Cherry were a 300-lb Samoan attorney and there were weird bat creatures appearing randomly.

  91. Majicou
    February 20th, 2013 at 10:44 am [Reply]

    A3G: Everything that rises must converge.

    6C: In answer to the question “Can astrology get any fucking stupider,” today’s artist delivers an emphatic “yes.”

    Betty: Well, I get the feeling this century will continue to be filled with books saying a bunch of bullshit.

  92. Ratiocinator
    February 20th, 2013 at 10:45 am [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#81):

    Do you see the size of that TV set?

    If Spidey sees that later on then I promise you, his envy will be such that he’ll despise Fisk even more than he does Norman Osborn.

  93. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 20th, 2013 at 10:45 am [Reply]

    @Justin (#87):…but Margo needs her immortality.

    Avoid being eaten by lions. That’s what the Phantom and I do, and so far it’s working rather well.

    // When young people come up to me and ask, “What is the secret to your incredible longevity?”, I always reply, “Avoid being eaten by lions. And get off of my lawn, jobbernowl!”

  94. Steve
    February 20th, 2013 at 10:46 am [Reply]

    MW: How will John replace Mary? It’s not that difficult. He just needs (1) someone who can be trained to carry one end of a cake, and (2) a copy of Albert Camus’ Familiar Quotations, which is basically Bartlett’s with an altered cover.

  95. Little Guy
    February 20th, 2013 at 10:48 am [Reply]

    Curtis: Yes, the price of a movie ticket is obscenely expensive, as opposed to the more economical chair, flowers, specialized bunting, balloons, presents, and bling.

    Lio: Win win win.

    Big Nate: I hate myself, but I love the “Nate goes cra-cra” big eye look.

    ASM: The ultimate fetish porn — Kingpin gets off on watching superheroes in peril.

    RMMD: This takes place after the quick lesbian liasion, when she recovered her towel and June conforted her.

  96. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 20th, 2013 at 10:50 am [Reply]

    Apartment 3-D(oppleganger) — I don’t care what anyone else says, that new toupee looks totally natural on Margo’s father, Richard Dreyfuss:

    http://tomeblen.bloginky.com/files/2010/06/richard_dreyfuss.jpg

  97. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 20th, 2013 at 10:52 am [Reply]

    What kind of a MONSTER creates a fat blob for the sole purpose of being mocked for being a fat blob?

    Oh, Rt. Ven., you kidder, you! That is Theodicy 101. You see, if there were no fat blobs we wouldn’t properly appreciate thin, beautiful people!

  98. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 20th, 2013 at 10:54 am [Reply]

    @Little Guy (#95): ASM: The ultimate fetish porn — Kingpin gets off on watching superheroes in peril.

    Isn’t that the whole point of superhero comic books? Mr. Pin has lots of company.

  99. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 20th, 2013 at 10:54 am [Reply]

    @Revenge4Aldo (#46): Nature Writer Dredd patrols MegaForest One with an iron fist.

  100. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 20th, 2013 at 10:55 am [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#55): Mind you, I’m talking about the “Nairobi Bar & Grill” in San Antonio, Texas — and NOT the one in Nairobi, Kenya.

    The only thing I know about the Nairobi Bar & Grill in Kenya is that they have one hell of a house band:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=416o9b_pjQk

    The band’s playlist is limited to a single song, but their fans never seem to tire of watching them perform it.

  101. Hogenmogen
    February 20th, 2013 at 10:57 am [Reply]

    John Dill: If you don’t come with me, Mary, I’m going to dribble my head like a basketball! Still not convinced? Damn.

  102. Hogenmogen
    February 20th, 2013 at 10:59 am [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#100): I know a few nightclubs that play one song. It’s called The 8 To 4 Song. You know, that loud, obnoxious song that lasts from 8pm to 4am. It does have a good beat, and you can dance to it, but geezus, what a headache.

  103. Ratiocinator
    February 20th, 2013 at 11:01 am [Reply]

    @The Right Venerable Pasdordan (#88):

    Ah, it’s supposed to take you out. Is it supposed to show you a good time? Make you eggs in the morning?

    I couldn’t help but be reminded of a line from another comic book character after reading this.

    In the Batman: Arkham Asylum video game, there are parts of the game where you need to sneak around and incapacitate thugs working for the Joker while keeping them from noticing you, since getting shot makes you die. All the while, the Joker is on the PA giving them orders, threatening you, taunting you, taunting his own guys for failing, threatening to punish his own guys for failing, and just being Joker.

    All of the thugs are wearing heartbeat monitors or something that lets the Joker know when one of them is unconscious. So here’s one of the things he says after that happens:

    “He’s taken one of you out! And not in the nice first date kind of way.”

  104. Hogenmogen
    February 20th, 2013 at 11:07 am [Reply]

    @The Right Venerable Pasdordan (#88): Crock: There was a Larry Niven book that was a sort-of-parallel to Dante’s Inferno. The main character wrestled with the concept that God created Hell to punish sinners eternally for their crimes during their relatively brief time on Earth. What purpose does this punishment serve if there is no ability to be redeemed?

  105. James Edward Oglethorpe
    February 20th, 2013 at 11:10 am [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#96): It’s doppelganger, old chum. DoppLEGanger is a person with an extra set of legs. And, as you probably know, Frank Bolle doesn’t do legs.

  106. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 20th, 2013 at 11:12 am [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#104): Yes, it was called “Inferno” (weird, huh?), 1976, and was written with Jerry Pournelle. Good stuff.

  107. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    February 20th, 2013 at 11:16 am [Reply]

    RMMD – “I have nobody to love me like Rex loves you! I mean, sure, there are lots of people who are interested in me romantically, or sexually. But noone who wants to use me as a beard! Gosh, it must be great for you. Being able to do what you want, with who you want, but still having the financial security of being married to a Doctor – one whom you can blackmail if necessary in order to keep the money flowing – that is my goal in life, too! Tell me, was it always just an arrangement, or did he used to pretend to actually be interested in women?”

  108. Hogenmogen
    February 20th, 2013 at 11:19 am [Reply]

    FW:
    Oh yeah? Well, I made my band march during a blizzard! With the whiteout conditions, we couldn’t tell that we did our big musical number in the parking lot! Of the wrong school! Ha ha!

    Oh yeah? I took my kids out in a hurricane, and the instruments acted like lightning rods. I had to promote the third string tuba players because there were six casualties! Ha ha!

    Oh yeah? I made my battle of the bands a real battle, like that Hunger Games stuff the kids like so much! Now my marching band is a drum solo! Ha ha!

    Oh yeah? CANCER! Hahahahaha!

  109. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 20th, 2013 at 11:19 am [Reply]

    I’m running squee, yeah, I’m running squee.

    had an earworm, turned it into a pun, thought I’d share. (bb,u, second link’s for you!)

  110. Dale
    February 20th, 2013 at 11:25 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#65):

    BASS CHEATING

    A fraud charge makes sense. But the case cited was turned into a sting, and they were caught in the act. How would the authorities get convictions in the earlier cases? Plant evidence – too late. Beating would still work.

  111. Hogenmogen
    February 20th, 2013 at 11:28 am [Reply]

    @Little Guy (#95): SM: I think Kingpin gets off watching dude’s butts in spandex. Hence, his asscam.

    Missiles aren’t known for maneuverability, which this one seems to be entirely capable of. Missiles are known for speed, which this one lacks. Missiles and bombs since WWI have normally been equipped with proximity sensors that will explode the weapon shortly before impact, to maximize the damage. This thing just about brushed Daredevils buttocks and still keeps plowing on. Seriously, if it had blown just then, wouldn’t DD and SM be ashes right now? Does Kingpin want it to pin Daredevil to the wall and crush him with its ponderous unbelievability?

  112. Lumaca Morente
    February 20th, 2013 at 11:30 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#84): Your version takes a band director’s convention and turns into a ‘Mudgeons convention :-)

  113. Lumaca Morente
    February 20th, 2013 at 11:35 am [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#101): “…I’m going to dribble my head like a basketball…” Chilly down!
    //obscure?

  114. Hogenmogen
    February 20th, 2013 at 11:37 am [Reply]

    Comics doctor to the (too late) rescue: Baldo needs some help.

    Tia Carmen is offering junk food to compete with junk food (and failing – why?). The strip might make sense if she were selling apples, bananas or carrots or some kind of healthy whole wheat pita sandwich with ground turkey and low fat feta. But hamburgers vs. snacks? The line isn’t so distinct. Are the hamburgers overpriced? Vending machines almost certainly are. Is it that no one likes the weird lunchroom lady sitting at a stand in the hallway? Is it that the burgers are almost certainly cold by now? Even with cynical high school students, given the choice between vending machines and McDonalds, a good percentage would opt for the double arches.

  115. Not-Pope Dan
    February 20th, 2013 at 11:39 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#106): I think I actually may have read that one, back in my lost youth.

    Wait, I had a youth to lose?!

  116. Not-Pope Dan
    February 20th, 2013 at 11:40 am [Reply]

  117. Cloudbuster
    February 20th, 2013 at 11:43 am [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#82): ” Or is it just retired guys with no life trotting out tired gags?”

    Well, you write what you know.

  118. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 20th, 2013 at 11:44 am [Reply]

  119. Lumaca "Babe with the Power" Morente
    February 20th, 2013 at 11:48 am [Reply]

  120. Dood
    February 20th, 2013 at 11:48 am [Reply]

    Apartment 3-G: “…I’m just a guy who cares deeply for your daughter.” “Ha, ha, you’re kidding, right?”

  121. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 20th, 2013 at 11:49 am [Reply]

    @Not-Pope Dan (#115): Amber Alert says otherwise. . . .

  122. Will
    February 20th, 2013 at 11:52 am [Reply]

    FW: Batiuk apparently never read Strunk and White: “Omit needless words.” Does Mrs. Dinkle’s balloon add anything to the strip? Even the dimmest comics reader can tell the band directors are talking shop and bullshitting about their exploits. And isn’t Becky the current band director? How could she not know what they’re doing?

  123. astroboy
    February 20th, 2013 at 11:55 am [Reply]

    MW – And just what is going on out of the last frame there…is Mr. Dill waving his pickle at Mare-Mare?

  124. Majicou
    February 20th, 2013 at 11:56 am [Reply]

    QC: Claire sundresses up.

    Bongrip: Yeah, I’d love to trot out that excuse whenever I’m not getting shit done. “I’m communing spiritually with my past self.” Sounds a hell of a lot better than “I’m just sitting around daydreaming.”

  125. Lumaca Morente
    February 20th, 2013 at 11:56 am [Reply]

    @Will (#122): If Batiuk omitted needless words, we’d be looking at Henry. Now, if he also omitted needless pictures, we’d have the daily “polar bear in a snow drift” strip.
    //’needless’ in the sense that who needs Batiuk.

  126. Lumaca Morente
    February 20th, 2013 at 11:57 am [Reply]

    @Majicou (#124): When I am confronted with not getting stuff done, I reply, “That’s me swan! Want to see me loon?”
    //Win!

  127. Lumaca Morente
    February 20th, 2013 at 11:58 am [Reply]

    Ha ha, I am on a roll, and so is my lunch.

  128. Joshua
    February 20th, 2013 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

    GA: Rufus reiterates, and Joel confirms, what Joel said yesterday. No punchline is apparent.

  129. Marc
    February 20th, 2013 at 12:19 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#65): So it would appear that Elrod has become a Texas lobbyist.

  130. No Stupid Bear
    February 20th, 2013 at 12:20 pm [Reply]

    John Dill, having been so focused on the cake carrying competition, seems to have missed some important details about how to do the Harlem Shake.

  131. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 20th, 2013 at 12:24 pm [Reply]

    @Majicou (#124): works for The Avatar.

    and *flutteryay* @ QC today. Claire is SO KEWT when she blushes, I squeed at yesterday’s strip.

  132. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 20th, 2013 at 12:25 pm [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#112): I just like to think of it as continuing the conversation, is all.

  133. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 20th, 2013 at 12:34 pm [Reply]

    @Marc (#129): Well, Texas is considering making cheating in fishing tournaments specifically a felony on its own, as you see. But even at present, I am sure you could be charged under some other statute in Texas, for “winning” substantial sums by fraud at fishing, or anything else.

    Is there a mudge out there who is a Texas lawyer?

  134. Dood
    February 20th, 2013 at 12:36 pm [Reply]

    Phantom: “OK, let’s try this again. Did he not not-die from a Boom gun or a Blam gun?”

  135. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    February 20th, 2013 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#133):

    Q: What do you call a Texas lawyer?

    A: The late ______, esq.

  136. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 20th, 2013 at 12:48 pm [Reply]

    @Not-Pope Dan (#115): You didn’t have one of those Dorian Gray oil paintings done back in your salad days? Tch. That was thoughtless!

    My DG portrait, kept safe in my attic, looks like Jack Elam after a particularly hard weekend, whereas, in person, I resemble Michelangelo’s David’s slightly older, better looking brother.

    // Fine art may be expensive, but it’s value for money, I say!

  137. Amos Snarkadder
    February 20th, 2013 at 12:49 pm [Reply]

    Luann: Teenage girls wear hairspray? Really?

  138. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    February 20th, 2013 at 12:50 pm [Reply]

    @Amos Snarkadder (#137):

    Well, they did back in the 1970s, when Evans last asked one out and was turned down. He is apparently still getting over it.

  139. Poteet
    February 20th, 2013 at 12:55 pm [Reply]

    CRANKSHAFT — If I were a parent in this strip, I wouldn’t be too happy to learn that driver’s-ed duties had been farmed out to a bus driver whose major accomplishments are destroying the English language and other people’s mailboxes. Or maybe I wouldn’t care. The kids in this strip aren’t very likeable, so what the hell.

  140. Uncle Lumpy
    February 20th, 2013 at 12:58 pm [Reply]

    @Dood (#134):

    Did he not not-die from a Boom gun or a Blam gun?

    Yes, he didn’t: when you not-die from a Boom gun, you stay that way.

  141. lynn
    February 20th, 2013 at 1:01 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#136): “Michelangelo’s David’s slightly older, better looking brother” – you mis-spelled “Franz Kafka”

  142. Lumaca Morente
    February 20th, 2013 at 1:03 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#138): And the sad thing is, Evans was already thirty years old *then*.

  143. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 20th, 2013 at 1:10 pm [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#113):

    obscure?

    To some, perhaps. I think I know the Muppet you’re talking about, though.

  144. AhClem
    February 20th, 2013 at 1:10 pm [Reply]

    SM – The missile takes its time getting to its destination, stopping along the way to check out a shop or two, watch an episode of “The View,” and eventually causing the target to self-explode without actually doing anything.

    In short, this is the Amazing Spider-Missile ™ — just like Spider-Man, but with more personality.

  145. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 20th, 2013 at 1:11 pm [Reply]

    @Amos Snarkadder (#137): They sure as hell did when I went to high school. Of course this was 1980s Providence, where guido met John Hughes.

  146. Lumaca Morente
    February 20th, 2013 at 1:12 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#143): You remind me of the babe ;-)

  147. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    February 20th, 2013 at 1:15 pm [Reply]

    @AhClem (#144):

    The missile was once bitten by a radioactive Spider Man. Now, it has his proportional ability to be distracted by television and to fly around without accomplishing anything.

  148. Freakin Hemingwad
    February 20th, 2013 at 1:20 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#147): We know the missile won’t be seeking out MJ, then.

  149. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 20th, 2013 at 1:21 pm [Reply]

    @lynn (#141): Looking on the Internets, I see that Kafka was a fairly decent looking young man.

    // Sadly, by the time he got to be my age, he’d been dead for… several years.

  150. lynn
    February 20th, 2013 at 1:23 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#149): Precisely, Mr. Scudder, sir. And now I return to the nether world. Sigh.

  151. Liam
    February 20th, 2013 at 1:27 pm [Reply]

    MT-You have to watch out for those outdoor writers. They yield much influence in the world.

    MT 2-What is going on with Rod in that last panel? It looks like he is offering Catfish some food.

    MT 3-”Are you accusing me of cheating, Catfish?”

  152. Droopy Says
    February 20th, 2013 at 1:32 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#63): If you could find an example of this from the Eisenhower era, I’d accuse Elrod of having ripped the Rod Bassy plot from the headlines. But as your example comes from this century, it can only be labeled an eerie coincidence.

  153. bats :[
    February 20th, 2013 at 1:36 pm [Reply]

  154. bats :[
    February 20th, 2013 at 1:37 pm [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#76): I agree…Gabriella has merely chosen to go grey. Her penchant for lime green clothing continues unabated.

  155. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    February 20th, 2013 at 1:40 pm [Reply]

    @gleeb (#57): ‘bean: So, as awful and boring as it is, why isn’t Lefty in there trading anecdotes about band crap? Maybe we’ve found out why she is mistaken for someone who has nothing to do with leading.

    I wondered that myself, along with wondering why she needs the Dinkles to explain everything; didn’t Skunk Boy explain that she goes to these things regularly?

  156. Droopy Says
    February 20th, 2013 at 1:40 pm [Reply]

    @Marc (#56): Luann- She’s exactly right about Luann.

    Still not gonna break my New Year’s resolution and look at Luann, but your words tell me that Evans just added a world-class proctologist to the cast.

  157. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 20th, 2013 at 1:47 pm [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#146): What babe? ;)

  158. kanomi
    February 20th, 2013 at 2:04 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers: Plugger dogs are leery of being anthropomorphically medicated by their man-beast hybrid overlords.

    Love Is…: …the normally naked “Love Is…” mobile infantoids somehow having offspring of their own, who are even smaller, implying a chain of congenital miniaturism that will end up in Lilliput.

    Rex Morgan: No Crying Game plot twist! No erotic fanfic! *emotear*
    Still, an erotic fanfic contest would be a fun future fundraiser. Hint hint!

  159. Mikey
    February 20th, 2013 at 2:08 pm [Reply]

    ASM: Hmm.. looks like DD and Spidey are doing some kind of homo-erotic interpretive street dance while Kingpin watches and plays with his “missle”.

  160. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 20th, 2013 at 2:08 pm [Reply]

    @kanomi (#158): Leeroy was on his third martini-glassed Jeagerbomb when the Viagra started kicking in. . . .

  161. Mikey
    February 20th, 2013 at 2:11 pm [Reply]

    Monty: This is one of the best drawn strips I’ve ever seen..
    http://www.gocomics.com/Monty

  162. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    February 20th, 2013 at 2:13 pm [Reply]

    Uh-oh. Rampant bolding on the loose! ::makes attempt to fix::

  163. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    February 20th, 2013 at 2:13 pm [Reply]

    …and did not succeed. I’ll try one more time, then let Uncle Lumpy deal with it.

  164. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 20th, 2013 at 2:15 pm [Reply]

    Shadows fall, and the darkness of night descends…

  165. Uncle Lumpy
    February 20th, 2013 at 2:15 pm [Reply]

    There you go!

    To all and sundry: it’s “</b>”, please!

  166. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 20th, 2013 at 2:21 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#165): I got 99 problems, but a aint one!

  167. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 20th, 2013 at 2:21 pm [Reply]

    ROFL.

    hoisted on my own snark.

  168. Dood
    February 20th, 2013 at 2:26 pm [Reply]

    @kanomi (#158): Or the Love Is’ers are breeding a gnome army.

  169. Dood
    February 20th, 2013 at 2:30 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#140): Thanks, I’m starting to fail to not understand this not not-dying business.

  170. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 20th, 2013 at 2:33 pm [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#146): @Artist formerly known as Ben (#143): You remind me of the babe ;-)

    Then you must know something about Artist formerly known as Ben the rest of us don’t:

    http://25.media.tumblr.com/640ee8f7ac60a80c2138c32f6a478ef1/tumblr_mg6vvern9p1s2xv4ko1_500.jpg

    Paul Bunyan and Babe Ben are so lifelike… so unlike Mark Trail.

  171. Inkwell
    February 20th, 2013 at 2:33 pm [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#76): NO! I refuse! I shall carry this baggage with me until the day that I die.

  172. Mikey
    February 20th, 2013 at 2:40 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#170): Thats the statue in Bemidji, MN where my dad lives, that my wife commented on: “That’s it!? What a rinky Paul Bunyan!” Back in the day it was a site to behold, apparently.

  173. TheDiva
    February 20th, 2013 at 2:46 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#157): A little glass via–oh wait, wrong call-and-response…

  174. Calico
    February 20th, 2013 at 2:50 pm [Reply]

    OK, I apologize if someone else has posted this already, but…
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MikRS_EEGcQ

  175. wossname
    February 20th, 2013 at 2:54 pm [Reply]

    Anybody else encountering an odd quirk with this site today (I mean, other than the usual oddities)? When I refresh, it goes back to the last time I posted, rather than the last post I read. As problems go, it’s not nearly as bad as not not-dying, but still…

  176. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    February 20th, 2013 at 2:54 pm [Reply]

    @Mikey (#161): I like the smirk on the neader-bunny in the last panel.

  177. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 20th, 2013 at 2:55 pm [Reply]

    @Mikey (#172): @Rocky Stoneaxe (#170): Thats the statue in Bemidji, MN where my dad lives, that my wife commented on: “That’s it!? What a rinky Paul Bunyan!” Back in the day it was a site to behold, apparently.

    Yeah, who wants to look at a rinky Paul Bunyan statue when there are games of curling* waiting to be played?

    *According to Wikipedia, Bemidji calls itself the “curling capital” of the U.S.

  178. Ratiocinator
    February 20th, 2013 at 2:57 pm [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#162):

    Uh-oh. Rampant bolding on the loose! ::makes attempt to fix::

    You have perhaps been reading too much Mark Trail, Rana. But at least you recognize that you have a problem.

  179. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    February 20th, 2013 at 3:04 pm [Reply]

    @Ratiocinator (#178): Jane! Stop this crazy thing!

    (And, yes, I did make sure to Preview before posting this!)

  180. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    February 20th, 2013 at 3:06 pm [Reply]

    @wossname (#175):

    I have mastered the art of not-dying, so much so that I have a 100% success rate, which I hope to maintain for the rest of my life.

    Eh, it’s a living.

  181. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 20th, 2013 at 3:14 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#170): Am I a blue ox? Well, not full-blooded or anything…

  182. pugfuggly
    February 20th, 2013 at 3:19 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#63): @Mikey (#67):

    Well, I had no idea fishing derby fraud was such a hot issue.

    my favourite passage in that article:

    Ward said he thought the anglers should be barred from future tournaments not only in Kentucky but in Tennessee. “If they cheated in Kentucky then they will cheat in Tennessee as the state line won’t make any difference,” continued Ward.

    Veteran tournament angler Bobby Kilzer had this to say: “I fish events that are subject to polygraph tests just to avoid the atmosphere of cheating. All of your big events are draw-partner so it’s unlikely to happen in those whereas the buddy tournaments are more open to the possibility of cheating.”

    First of all, I’m thinking of using the line ‘If they cheated in Kentucky then they’ll cheat in Tennessee!’ in the next country song I write.

    Secondly: a polygraph at a fishing tournament? Really? I mean besides the fact that they aren’t accurate at all, how does this go down? Do they take the winners into a dark room with a single lamp and have two guys playing good-cop-bad-cop try to get it out of them first? Do they tell them that their partner has already confessed to bass-caging and if they want to make a deal with the Game Warden they’d better do it now? Do they lay out the fish out on an autopsy table and say things like ‘This pickerel had fragments of a spotted crawfish in its stomach, which is only endemic to the northern part of the state!

    Hold on…..I’m just going to give Dick Wolf a quick call and pitch an idea to him….

  183. Dale
    February 20th, 2013 at 3:23 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#151):

    MARK TRAIL

    It took me a while, but I think Brassy is throwing money on the table.

    My first question was – Why are they eating breakfast in a hotel dining room instead of a diner closer to the lake, where they could get a grown-up sized coffee cup?

  184. pugfuggly
    February 20th, 2013 at 3:24 pm [Reply]

    @Mikey (#172):

    Minnesota is for lovers, but Bemidji is for scrabble players…

  185. Big Blue Ox
    February 20th, 2013 at 3:25 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#170): Both of us had downed a couple of stiff drinks before that photograph was taken. So there’s absolutely no reason for you
    or anyone else to cast aspersions on our character!

  186. Rip Houndstooth, Man Of Action
    February 20th, 2013 at 3:29 pm [Reply]

    Apt Threege: Good god, man! Gabriella’s become a female Kerwin White! http://prorasslin.com/2011/03/01/ghastly-gimmicks-kerwin-white/

    Baldo: Carmen is saved when J. Wellington Wimpy suddenly shows up.

  187. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 20th, 2013 at 3:33 pm [Reply]

    @Big Blue Ox (#185): Silly ox, you should know better than to mix drinking and curling.

  188. commodorejohn
    February 20th, 2013 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

    @Mikey (#172): It’s easily the most interesting thing in Bemidji…

    @pugfuggly (#182): And here I always thought that lying was a time-honored fishing tradition…

  189. Horace Broon
    February 20th, 2013 at 3:37 pm [Reply]

    DT: Toad saves Mole from being badgered. And someone ratted Sweatbox out.

    HtH: There’s a complex backstory here that the comic doesn’t have room to go into, of course. Hagar, established in previous strips as being fed up with a duck that doesn’t quack properly, has traded it in for this parrot. However, his obsession with avian pronounciation has driven him to teach it to fully comprend human speech rather than repeat simple phrases, an endeavor that has now backfired on him horribly. He will therefore return it and get Kvack back, which is why we’ll never see it again. (So if you thought Browne thought “I’ve got a joke about Hagar’s parrot. Hagar doesn’t have a parrot. Who cares?” then shame on you.)

    MT: “Trail’s an outdoor writer – in Jackelrod World that’s like being a cop, a park ranger and a fishing competition official all rolled into one!”

    MW “Yes, I’m on my way to better things, but I’m leaving the best behind me!” Bu … wha …

  190. Liam
    February 20th, 2013 at 3:38 pm [Reply]

    A3G-”Mr. Magee, you look familiar. Have you ever been to Greece?”

    MW-”I’m sure you are bound for an apartment building with three sex ladies sharing an apartment and all sort of wacky hijinks.”

  191. Dood
    February 20th, 2013 at 3:39 pm [Reply]

    I think Departamento de tres G has a certain ring to it.

  192. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 20th, 2013 at 3:41 pm [Reply]

    @Rip Houndstooth, Man Of Action (#186):

    Tia Carmen is fired when J. Wellington Wimpy tells her that he will gladly pay for the burgers “next Tuesday.” AFTER he’s eaten them.

  193. Freakin Hemingwad
    February 20th, 2013 at 3:43 pm [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#182): “Do they lay out the fish out on an autopsy table and say things like ‘This pickerel had fragments of a spotted crawfish in its stomach, which is only endemic to the northern part of the state!” ” – CSI, Lost Forest.

  194. Lumaca Morente
    February 20th, 2013 at 3:45 pm [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#184): This explains the small population in Bemidji.

  195. Lumaca Morente
    February 20th, 2013 at 3:47 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#187): If you drink, don’t curl. If you curl, don’t drink.

  196. Lumaca Morente
    February 20th, 2013 at 3:48 pm [Reply]

    @Horace Broon (#189): Is Dick Tracy supposed to be sounding like The Wind in the Willows? Toad…Mole…Rat…

  197. Calico
    February 20th, 2013 at 3:56 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#192):
    Watch out, there could be horsemeat in them thar burgers. : P

  198. Calico
    February 20th, 2013 at 3:57 pm [Reply]

  199. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 20th, 2013 at 4:03 pm [Reply]

    QC: Honest. I can quit anytime I want. It just relaxes me. Besides, it’s supposed to be his dad’s house, and it looked like a room in Motel 6.

    // Intervention? I don’t need no intervention. This is a free country, dammit! I’ll Rexify all I want to, thank you very much!

  200. pugfuggly
    February 20th, 2013 at 4:38 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#188):

    And here I always thought that lying was a time-honored fishing tradition…

    “Maybe it’s time to put that tradition to sleep…”
    /puts on sunglasses
    “…with the fishes.”
    WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOH!

    @Lumaca Morente (#194):

    No, that’s what explains the ‘lilliputian’ population of Bemidji. Let’s see, with the double word score…..26!

  201. Baka Gaijin
    February 20th, 2013 at 5:15 pm [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#182): You think that’s ridiculous? Polygraph at a fishing tournament. The steroid testing and full body cavity searches that put the TSA to shame at the big Santa Royale Pile o’Pastry Playdown Semi-Finals. That’s something. Something not to witness, just to ponder.

  202. demoncat
    February 20th, 2013 at 5:16 pm [Reply]

    mw . but i will be leaving the best behind is john admiting at long last he is fallen in love with mary and is doomed to wind up in the end with aldos fate proably in a rare cake accident. phantom the more time the miners argue about learning that the phantom not being able to die is a myth the more time they are giving kit to finaly wake up and get some pay back time

  203. nescio
    February 20th, 2013 at 5:19 pm [Reply]

    MW: I prefer to think that John Dill said “Yes, but I’ll be leaving the best behind, me.” and that his preferred method for dealing with stress is to break into a Cockney song and dance routine while complimenting the nearest woman’s bum.

  204. Liam
    February 20th, 2013 at 5:31 pm [Reply]

    Garfield-John is excited because he is hoping to finally do the Naked Mommy Daddy Underwear Dance.

  205. Crankshafts funky smelling corpse
    February 20th, 2013 at 5:32 pm [Reply]

    Bigporn: That clinches it. Eldowner has a computer FILLED with his own porn drawings. Jeebus.

    How much he must be dying to draw porn, all the time.

  206. Liam
    February 20th, 2013 at 5:33 pm [Reply]

    MW-”And by best I mean all my stuff. I’m just moving to New York. I’m not taking anything with me.”

  207. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 20th, 2013 at 5:33 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#199): Oh, wait. I guess it IS supposed to be a motel of some sort. That explains the bar with the bartender and all. Never mind.

  208. Jim in Wisc.
    February 20th, 2013 at 5:34 pm [Reply]

    Family Circus Freaks: I know that Jeffy Keane just recycles his old man’s artwork (hence the Eisenhower-era wardrobes of the characters), but you think he’d at least possess enough artistic talent to draw in a second nostril.

  209. pugfuggly
    February 20th, 2013 at 5:37 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#201):

    Something to ponder indeed. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to ponder how I’m going to keep my dinner down….

  210. Northernlurker
    February 20th, 2013 at 5:46 pm [Reply]

    MW: Listen to me John Dill.
    1. You’re the one with the dream of becoming a professional cake designer not Mary. So you go and pursue your dream while leaving Mary to pursue her’s, which is to meddle with 10,000 lives. Run before she takes half the earnings.
    2. You won that contest not Mary. Don’t forget the only cuisine Mary works with is unidentifiable beige. Now I’ve read a few cookbooks in my life but I have never seen one with a section for unidentifiable beige. Anthody Bourdain doesn’t talk about that particular cuisine. Rachael Ray doesn’t; nobody does because the only person who specializes in unidentifiable beige is Mary Worth.
    The only thing she offered you was platitude-based encouragement. Here’s a hint. Go to your nearest bookstore. Find the self-help section and buy a book. There are hundreds that provide the same help MW did and better. You can even take them to bed with you.
    Oh and see if Chef Pierre can help you lighten up that cake batter. Any three-layer cake that two grown people struggle to pick up is too heavy. I’ve heard of pound cake but 100-pound cake?

    Rant off/

  211. Jim in Wisc.
    February 20th, 2013 at 5:50 pm [Reply]

    Mark Trail-to-Hell: I’m calling the next plot development – Mark has his buddy Bluegill fish next to Count Rod Bassy’s boat. And Bluegill will also be using a Super-Special-Rod-Bassy-Glow-in-the-Dark Lure ™. Catfood will screw up and hook the lunker bass onto the Bluegill’s lure instead of Count Bassy’s. Hilarity – and punching – will ensue.

  212. Jim in Wisc.
    February 20th, 2013 at 5:59 pm [Reply]

    Sexy Rexy: In the missing 4th panel, June says, “Oh, Honey, darling, I’ll love you like no man ever could!”
    Boom-chicka-boom-boom!

  213. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 20th, 2013 at 6:00 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#197): @Rocky Stoneaxe (#192): Watch out, there could be horsemeat in them thar burgers. : P

    That’s no horse, Calico, it’s Whinny Winkle:

    http://www.frankbollestudio.com/photos/winnie_winkle_strip1.jpg

    BONUS: The artist is Frank Bolle.

  214. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 20th, 2013 at 7:10 pm [Reply]

    Anyone else remember the Denny Dimwit character from Winnie Winkle?

    http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/a/a2/Dennydimwit.jpg/250px-Dennydimwit.jpg

    Denny is the younger (and smarter!) brother of Gasoline Alley’s Magnus and Rufus Dimwit.

  215. Jamus The Bartender
    February 20th, 2013 at 7:14 pm [Reply]

    Rex Morgan: Aw. Damn. Now I feel all kinds of bad. My first thought was ” I can’t say for sure if i’d love her, but i’d sure as hell hit that. And in these days of economic and environmental uncertainty, that ain’t too bad.”

  216. Cloudbuster
    February 20th, 2013 at 7:14 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#180): I challenge you to a not-dying contest!

  217. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 20th, 2013 at 7:22 pm [Reply]

    @Jim in Wisc. (#208): One nostril means 1/2 the snot.

    @Cloudbuster (#216): I’m not-dying to see who wins.

  218. Cloudbuster
    February 20th, 2013 at 7:30 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#174): I left the 80s behind for a reason (the reason was that they were over and I have no time machine)! I wanted to leave 80s Chicago behind, too. That’s as bad as being Rick-rolled.

  219. tallyHO
    February 20th, 2013 at 7:33 pm [Reply]

    @Jim in Wisc. (#211):

    That makes sense.

    Given Rod Bassy’s paranoia and his short-fuse, everything you wrote sounds plausible.

    To think about it, it is about time there was an honest-to-goodness boat fight. It didn’t happen with the shark. It should have. So, fingers crossed.

    I don’t know how much longer this strip can survive without someone hurling the Fists of Justice.

  220. Cloudbuster
    February 20th, 2013 at 7:36 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#213): The artist is Frank Bolle. Heh. It’s funny because you only see her from the waist up!

  221. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    February 20th, 2013 at 7:43 pm [Reply]

    MT Just wondering… what does Rod Bassy do with the big fish he catches?
    Does he let them go? Probably not. Maybe saves them up for the next contest.
    Does he have them mounted? If he does, he probably has Catfish mount them. *snicker*
    Does he sell them to restaurants? There must be any number of gourmands who would enjoy a dinner from one of those big fish caught by the famous Rod Bassy. At, oh say, a fine dining establishment like the Bum Boat.
    I bet Dr. Jeff would like a piece of Rod’s plump bass. Surely better than Mary’s old dried-up salmon squares.

  222. tallyHO
    February 20th, 2013 at 7:44 pm [Reply]

    @Brian Weaver (#49):

    Thanks for your sublime segue.

    Before I saw it I was wondering about that accursed comic strip. Mary Worth

    It seems to me like Mary owes Dill more than Dill owes Mary. This is not to say that Dill owes Diddly to Mary but that Mary did lead him on and he was coping with a major loss in his life. By meddling the way she did, she gave the guy the wrong impression.

    She gave Doctor Jeff the wrong impression and she had to be on her toes that Dill might be thinking once the contest was over it would be time for dessert.

    Granted, Dill is an idiot. He, like any character in that strip, is written like an idiot who will allow for events to spiral out of control.

    But, she got his hopes up. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not trying to paint him as a sympathetic character. Nor am I going easy on the strip.

    One other thing, how is it that the heckler in that contest zinged Mary yet did not zing the couple that dropped their cake? He should have laughed like a loon and should have said things like:
    “That is NOT a light snack!”

  223. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 20th, 2013 at 7:44 pm [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#218): That’s as bad as being Rick-rolled.

    Being rickshaw-rolled is worse:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9E3Q1MVca3k

    But infinitely better than Gabriella not-dyeing her hair.

  224. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    February 20th, 2013 at 8:16 pm [Reply]

    @Jim in Wisc. (#208):

    you think he’d at least possess enough artistic talent to draw in a second nostril.

    I don’t think Thel has nostrils. And Bil has these big ol’ honking holes in the middle of his nose. Must be some kind of incomplete dominant inherited trait thing.
    How many toes do they have?

  225. Atticus Dogsbody
    February 20th, 2013 at 8:27 pm [Reply]

    “Yes. But I’ll be leaving the best behind me.”

    “Oh, nonsense, John. You’re going to the Big Apple. From what I’ve heard I’m sure that you’ll soon meet up with some nice, young Brazilian fellow who will do for you that which I can’t.”

  226. Poteet
    February 20th, 2013 at 8:39 pm [Reply]

    @Jim in Wisc. (#211): Genius. I’ll bet it will turn out that you have been able to read the mind of the Elrodball. Just remember, with great power comes great responsibility and a possible need to dodge missiles.

  227. Alice
    February 20th, 2013 at 8:43 pm [Reply]

    @Government Cheese (#44): Luann: I’m going to lure him here with my nudity

    Stop! Don’t give Evans any ideas!

  228. Jim in Wisc.
    February 20th, 2013 at 8:55 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#217): Good point. Especially considering it’s coming from genetic mutants.

    @Amos Snarkadder, CQB (#224): That raises a good question, just when was the last time Marcus Autrailius punched someone?

  229. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    February 20th, 2013 at 9:01 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#109): Few things are as wonderful as a bulldog running!

  230. Jim in Wisc.
    February 20th, 2013 at 9:01 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#226): I don’t know if I’m ready to assume such a great responsibility.

  231. tallyHO
    February 20th, 2013 at 9:03 pm [Reply]

    @Jim in Wisc. (#228):
    Was it The Mysterious Predicament of the Pot Farmers? Mark and Andy rescued Ranger Tom Martin ™!** who was tied up around a tree?

    Sadly*, I think since then there’s been three or four “adventures” since that episode.
    Dammit, Mark! Just punch anything! Get it over with! A fish! An oversized bird! a traffic sign!

    *Sad for me having this in my head
    **crap!!!! I should not remember that

  232. Jim in Wisc.
    February 20th, 2013 at 9:04 pm [Reply]

    @Jim in Wisc. (#228): Oops! I clicked on the wrong “reply” link for that second one. It should have been this one: @tallyHO (#219).

  233. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    February 20th, 2013 at 9:15 pm [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#216): I challenge you to a not-dying contest!

    I accept. First one to not not-die loses! The winner gets to dance on the loser’s grave!

    Starting ….. NOW

  234. Mikey
    February 20th, 2013 at 9:16 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#177): Yes, I’ve seen curling. Its a great excuse to drink large amounts of beer! Every curling club seems to have a bar attached. I guess its the Canadian equivalent of bowling.

  235. Jim in Wisc.
    February 20th, 2013 at 9:18 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#231): That could be it.

  236. Mikey
    February 20th, 2013 at 9:20 pm [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#182): Just make sure one of the lines has Rusty getting hit by a train in the raiiinnn!!!

  237. Mikey
    February 20th, 2013 at 9:25 pm [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#182): The ‘polygraphs’ for fish contests are more like this. If you flinch ,you’re a liar….
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IhJQp-q1Y1s

  238. Dale
    February 20th, 2013 at 9:45 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#214):

    In the ’50s, Denny the Dimwit would show up every once in a while on the street like Elmo shows up at Dagwood’s bus stop. Denny wore something very close to a dunce cap.

    Winnie’s father was partially bald and had a horribly misshapen skull.

  239. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 20th, 2013 at 9:50 pm [Reply]

    @Mikey (#234):

    Sorry, I didn’t know. Guess I owe @Big Blue Ox (#185) an apology!

  240. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 20th, 2013 at 9:55 pm [Reply]

  241. Sgt. Stoned
    February 20th, 2013 at 10:28 pm [Reply]

    MT: Every time Rod Bassy puts his line into the water, he says a “Hail Mary”. And every time he says a “Hail Mary” he catches a bass. That’s the secret.

    Snuffy Smif: I don’t believe that “Paw” would do chores even if Loweezy had a broken back let alone a broken toe.

  242. The Right Venerable Pasdordan
    February 20th, 2013 at 10:29 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#97): What kind of a MONSTER creates OTHER MONSTERS simply to mock one another?

  243. Baka Gaijin
    February 20th, 2013 at 10:42 pm [Reply]

    @Atticus Dogsbody (#225): “…Brazilian fellow who will do for you that which I can’t won’t.” Mary don’t share her “special toy” with just anyone.

  244. Jim in Wisc.
    February 20th, 2013 at 10:42 pm [Reply]

    @Sgt. Stoned (#241): Does that mean this story is going to end with Mark shooting him the back of head? Because I’d love to see this strip take a truly dark turn.

  245. commodorejohn
    February 20th, 2013 at 10:47 pm [Reply]

  246. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 20th, 2013 at 10:57 pm [Reply]

    @Crankshafts funky smelling corpse (#205):

    How much he must be dying to draw porn, all the time.

    Much of it involving Mystique from the X-Men movies, apparently.

  247. Gladly, the cross-eyed bear
    February 20th, 2013 at 11:22 pm [Reply]

    @The Right Venerable Pasdordan (#242): If God is God, he is not good. If God is good, he is not God.

  248. Der Kömmëntätör, Herr Schnärkïnätör
    February 20th, 2013 at 11:51 pm [Reply]

    Glibporn: Drawn such that his nipple looks like it’s her nipple!

  249. Der Kömmëntätör, Herr Schnärkïnätör
    February 21st, 2013 at 12:28 am [Reply]

    RMMD: You know Honey, more guys might be attracted to you for your mind instead of your body if you’d stop showing off your naked tits to every guy you see.

    Juggs Parker: Yeah right, like real spies would want to keep the fact that they are spies a secret! Who in the hell would do that?!

  250. Der Kömmëntätör, Herr Schnärkïnätör
    February 21st, 2013 at 12:31 am [Reply]

    SF: Ted is becoming a self-aware idiot!

  251. Der Kömmëntätör, Herr Schnärkïnätör
    February 21st, 2013 at 12:32 am [Reply]

    MT: Written for 6 to 10 year-olds!

  252. Baka Gaijin
    February 21st, 2013 at 12:57 am [Reply]

    Thursday’s Medium Large is a rerun. As before, I can endorse this strip, especially the final panel.

  253. Anne
    February 21st, 2013 at 1:36 am [Reply]

    Gabriella’s blatant whitewashing would be a perfect topic for grassroots organizations like Racebending to tackle, if A3G had literally any impact whatsoever on society‘s racial culture

  254. Daniel
    February 21st, 2013 at 2:48 pm [Reply]

    3G “¡Vaya, espíritu malo!” would be more “Get out, evil spirit!” “¡Vaya, el espíritu malo!” means more “Get that evil spirit out!”–the “el” makes it specific.
    Phantom “Ha, ha! Wrong!” is as epic as “More zippers, mule!”
    MW John Dill looks like a Jack Chick character being told that abortion’s a plot to weaken Africa/the Virgin Mary statue is really the Debil/Shriners sacrifice babies/Islam was created by the Catholic Church. He’s all shock lines and trembling in horror at this outrage. would be more

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