The Comics Curmudgeon

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Hot clubbing action

Hagar the Horrible, 7/22/08

You know, the “joke” in this comic would have worked just as well (which is to say NOT VERY WELL AT ALL) if Lucky Eddie hadn’t been drawn to look like the Nazis in Raiders Of The Lost Ark right after they opened the Ark of the Covenant. As it is, we are left to wonder why Doctor Zook is handing out platitudes about a healthy diet to a patient who obviously either hasn’t slept in six days or has just been hit in the face with a brick.

Apartment 3-G, 7/22/08

“Ha, I knew it would be dangerous to bring my diary on this mission — why, it could have fallen into the hands of the Red Chinese! It was a stroke of genius to call my personal assistant on this landline and have her write in my diary for me, which is safely back at home in the U.S. Now the Chinese police will be none the wiser. I’d better use everyone’s full name, too, in case I forget who I was talking about years later when I look at what she wrote.”

Mary Worth, 7/22/08

As she finally resigns herself to this “human affection” thing she’s heard so much about, Mary Worth decides to try putting her head on Jeff’s shoulder, a romance technique she learned from a song on the local oldies station. A good first effort, Mary, but next time you might want to bend at the neck, not the waist.

Judge Parker, 7/22/08

You know, like Freud almost said, sometimes a golf club is just a golf club.

Not in this case, though. This strip is obviously about the fact that Sam and Abbey haven’t had sex since 1995.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, July 22, 2008 at 04:12 pm and is filed under Apartment 3-G, Hagar the Horrible, Judge Parker, Mary Worth.

320 responses to “Hot clubbing action”

johnw
July 22nd, 2008 at 4:21 pm [Reply]

Mary Worth looks like a piece of clip-art that was repositioned on Jeff’s shoulder. Unnatural, uncomfortable.

I also like how she’s using the Reagan formulation “Mistakes were made.” In other words, no personal responsibility, no lessons learned, no progress in fashioning a truly sustainable relationship.
Nekrotzar
July 22nd, 2008 at 4:23 pm [Reply]

The joke in Hagar seems to rest on the idea that applesauce is obviously not an adequate substitute for an apple. But why wouldn’t it be? If the applesauce has no sugar added, wouldn’t it provide many of the same health benefits (dental excepted)?

It seems to me that this joke would be just as funny (i.e., not at all) this way:
Doc: You should eat more broccoli.
1/2-dead guy: Could I eat brussell sprouts instead?
Doc: I suppose so.
(cue laugh track)
AeroSquid
July 22nd, 2008 at 4:24 pm [Reply]

Everyone must be watching Jeopardy!
Les of the Jungle Patrol
July 22nd, 2008 at 4:26 pm [Reply]

A day ago, I posted a comment about pondering being fluffed by Mary Worth and similarly pondering a shirtless Sam driver. Now that I see them next to each other, I think I’d rather spend the afternoon feeling Sam’s muscley chest than let Mary within 3 meters of me. My question: can I still call myself heterosexual?
Uncle Lumpy
July 22nd, 2008 at 4:26 pm [Reply]

#3 AeroSquid –

Bzzzzt!

Um, where is everybody?
Deena in OR
July 22nd, 2008 at 4:29 pm [Reply]

Uncle Lumpy-
At work :( I don’t get my Jeopardy fix for another 5 1/2 hours.
Mibbitmaker
July 22nd, 2008 at 4:32 pm [Reply]

HtH (the above Joshpost): The latter. Well, when Lucky Eddie stepped in between Ignatz and Krazy Kat that time, he know what the risks were. Even Offisa Pupp knew better than to pull that stunt.
Mibbitmaker
July 22nd, 2008 at 4:36 pm [Reply]

#5 (UL): On the previous thread. I know I was.
Dynamite XI
July 22nd, 2008 at 4:38 pm [Reply]

I just got done watching Jeopardy. I guess I had forgotten how many commercials the show has for every kind of geriatric product there is; there’s no telling how many commercials for Social Security lawyers and laxatives there were.

Great job, Josh!
Dynamite XI
July 22nd, 2008 at 4:39 pm [Reply]

(Er, on the show I mean. Not about getting lost amongst the geriatric commercials.)
SF_Reader
July 22nd, 2008 at 4:39 pm [Reply]

Today Mary looks like Dr Jeff’s mother. And in panel two Jeff looks like he’s contemplating pushing Mary out of the boat and into the ocean. So there’s still hope yet for this comic strip!
haha
July 22nd, 2008 at 4:50 pm [Reply]

What is a swordfish?
Maughta
July 22nd, 2008 at 4:50 pm [Reply]

OMG, Mary’s creeping hand is going to attack!! Won’t somebody think about the children?!?!
Rusty
July 22nd, 2008 at 4:50 pm [Reply]

MW: Whatever drug regimen Dr. Jeff was on in Nam, it has taken 20 years off his looks. He now looks like Mary’s boy toy.

JP: So this is a metaphor for Sam knocking the dust off his dick? Didn’t he engage in a homoerotic golf match with some other dude a year or two ago, or was that Rex Morgan?
PeteMoss
July 22nd, 2008 at 4:52 pm [Reply]

#5 zzzzzgk, Uncle Lumpy, sorry. The proper response was, “Why was Password canceled.”
Spotted HØrse, Jungle Steed
July 22nd, 2008 at 4:52 pm [Reply]

#4 Les of the Jungle Patrol:

Now that I see them next to each other, I think I’d rather spend the afternoon feeling Sam’s muscley chest than let Mary within 3 meters of me. My question: can I still call myself heterosexual?

Absolutely. Call yourself a heterosexual with standards.
Jason
July 22nd, 2008 at 4:58 pm [Reply]

I’m afraid Mary, having decided not to repeat the mistake that is Jeff, is about to pull a Zidane.
Sequitur
July 22nd, 2008 at 4:59 pm [Reply]

Shhh! I’m watching Jeopardy!
fluffy
July 22nd, 2008 at 5:02 pm [Reply]

Mary and Jeff look like a pair of old lesbians.
Baka Gaijin
July 22nd, 2008 at 5:02 pm [Reply]

#19 Dingo yesterthread:

Baka Gaijin and my fellow gay ‘mudgeons: in that fine picture, doesn’t Josh look like the very definition of “otter” in the gay lexicon?

I don’t know about “otter” but our Josh is just cute as a bug! A bug I tells ya! Don’t you just want to pinch those cheeks?
survivor
July 22nd, 2008 at 5:06 pm [Reply]

Mary is not resting her head on Jeff’s shoulder. She’s ducking.

Obviously, Mary has put a hit on Dr. Jeff and she is awaiting the moment when a bullet is put through the skull of her target. Another problem solved by Mary.
KT
July 22nd, 2008 at 5:06 pm [Reply]

I just watched Jeopardy. OMG did Alex Trebek compare us all to a bunch of soap opera watchers? :}
skullcrusherjones
July 22nd, 2008 at 5:07 pm [Reply]

Don’t feel bad, Josh. I was yelling out , “Marlin!”

And then, “Fuck you, Trebek.”
Johnnycakes
July 22nd, 2008 at 5:11 pm [Reply]

#22 – Not knowing any better, it did kind of sound like we were a bunch of old ladies with one too many cats. I don’t think the irony and snark came across.

Um, I guess I’m making an assumption. Raise your hand if household cat population exceeds human population by more than one.

Not me — bad allergies.
Kaitlyn
July 22nd, 2008 at 5:12 pm [Reply]

Oh man!

An asteroid was dropped on the Jeopardy studio while the other two contestants were yapping.

A good time was had by all.
hobbit
July 22nd, 2008 at 5:13 pm [Reply]

Garfield- They could probably have switched today’s strip with “Find the Six Differences” and nobody would have noticed. A little more movement between panels, please!

Curtis- I love how math boy in today’s Curtis seems to be so out of touch with reality that he assumes that Curtis is “cool” (notice the quote marks).

FOOB- Ha ha, gramps! You’ve been downgraded from human being to tchotchke.

Dennis- Hmm. The “ruff” test. I wonder what that could entail.

Baby Blues- Notice how the toy appears to be more broken after mom had a go at it with the instructions. Lesson learned here: screw the manual; real men fix everything with duct tape.

What exactly is that toy anyway? It looks like a radio on treads with arms.
Kaitlyn
July 22nd, 2008 at 5:15 pm [Reply]

22 KT – I thought there was some confusion about what “like” meant. Trebek thought it meant that he liked X, as in “I like it when I’m not in pain,” when it clearly meant “I like to dance on their graves.”

Also, my mom asked if Josh was married after that fateful exchange.

“yeah, why?”

“Oh so someone puts up with him.”
Baka Gaijin
July 22nd, 2008 at 5:17 pm [Reply]

#26 hobbit: re Curtis. Is he clutching his nonexistent pearls in the last panel? Will he catch the vapors tomorrow?
Johnnycakes
July 22nd, 2008 at 5:17 pm [Reply]

Being from Milwaukee, I had the Golda Meir answer. Though I shouted the answer at the TV, our telepathic bond apparently doesn’t cross multiple time zones and the fact that I watched it later on my DVR.

Don’t feel bad, Josh. That guy was a freakin’ shark!
Ukulele Ike
July 22nd, 2008 at 5:19 pm [Reply]

%#$@%#boxcar&#$%@ fershlugginer teevee box….why can’t I make the “guide” function work…

Hah! Jeopardy airs at 7PM on the Noo Yawk City ABC affiliate! I haven’t missed it yet!
turingcub
July 22nd, 2008 at 5:19 pm [Reply]

At that those re-education camps where they “cure” people of being gay, I’m pretty sure they clip out all the Mary Worth strips before handing out the daily paper. Or if they don’t, I think we’ve discovered why it doesn’t work.
Kaitlyn
July 22nd, 2008 at 5:21 pm [Reply]

23 – skullcrusherjones – I actually thought it was the correct answer, but what I know about fish could fit in a worm, so I didn’t say anything.

Until afterwards.

I think I made more money today than the 2nd place winner, though they don’t give out prizes to viewers for shouting the answer before the people on tv.
John Hewitt
July 22nd, 2008 at 5:21 pm [Reply]

Things that would have been funnier than applesauce:

Appletini
Apple Pie
Apple Computers
Snapple
Andy Capple
Ripple
Nipple
Hagar’s Balls
KT
July 22nd, 2008 at 5:24 pm [Reply]

Yeah, I guessed Golda Meir too. Gee, Josh, what a time for your psychic powers to go on the fritz!
Jay
July 22nd, 2008 at 5:24 pm [Reply]

Mistake made by Mary: To be seen as Human Affection one generally looks into the eyes of the beloved, rather than icily staring out of the panel into the readers’ souls.
Batman Beatles
July 22nd, 2008 at 5:27 pm [Reply]

MW: I get this feeling Mary will crawl out of the comic strip and kill me. After seven days of reading it, of course.
spike
July 22nd, 2008 at 5:30 pm [Reply]

#21 survivor: Mary is not resting her head on Jeff’s shoulder. She’s ducking.

So, all of Ron Amalfi’s talk about being a “land lover” [Moy's words, folks, not mine.] was just a cover for the “hit” on Jeff Mary had ordered, just in case Ron’s and Mary’s phone conversations were being taped.
DigitalGonzon
July 22nd, 2008 at 5:31 pm [Reply]

For a disgusting thought, just continue the reading of Mary Worth as about sex from Monday for today’s edition. It would at least explain why she’s bending at the waist.
DAS
July 22nd, 2008 at 5:31 pm [Reply]

MW: I just noticed — in panel #1 Mary strikes a “vanguard of the masses” Communist poster pose while Jeff looks sea-sick. In panel #2 Jeff strikes that pose (managing to look like a cross between Cillian Murphy and Rodney Dangerfield while doing so) while Mary is clearly marking her territory … I thought (c.f. my COTW runner-up comment … hurray for me! ;) ) that Margo was the cat-like predator of the comics, not Mary.

But what’s with the poses today? Is Giella a secret Commie?
Baka Gaijin
July 22nd, 2008 at 5:38 pm [Reply]

American CC’ers: I’m heading off to bed. Please post the answers, questions, and the Pope’s answers for those of us outside America. Later, Dingo, feel free to give your inimitable recounting of the action, leaving out all references to Mary Worth’s naughty bits. Great, I’ve given myself nightmares again tonight. When will I learn?
Gabe
July 22nd, 2008 at 5:39 pm [Reply]

Man, good thing my telepathic powers over time and space failed, because I misread the final question and was yelling ISREAL! Not that it mattered.

And didn’t Josh look dreamy eyed when talking about Rex Morgan? Then, who doesn’t!
MeganKoumori
July 22nd, 2008 at 5:40 pm [Reply]

Hey Josh! Just got done watching ‘Jeopardy!’ It’s nice to finally have a voice to go with the snark!
SchrodingersDuck
July 22nd, 2008 at 5:42 pm [Reply]

Don’t be too hard on Mary for her odd posturing in panel 2, since she and Jeff are plainly standing up driving a car with no seats. I’d imagine that her strained position is probably the most comfortable she could muster, given the circumstances.
Rasheed
July 22nd, 2008 at 5:43 pm [Reply]

JP: Clinton was still in the White House… so when was that in Parker Time? April?
PunsKillPeople
July 22nd, 2008 at 5:50 pm [Reply]

#4 Les:

Being fluffed by Mary Worth…I think my brain just broke.

#31 turingcub: Whaddya mean?? Mary Worth has *totally* just cured me from being gay (that, and Les’ previous comment!) I’m never, ever, ever going to want to even look at another woman for as long as I live. The thought of Mary Worth “fluffing my bunny” caused all my girly bits to shrivel and turn to dust.

Coincidentally, I’m sure that’s what happened to Mary’s genitalia ages ago, if she even had anything down there to begin with. (And if she fails to feed, even for one day, on the blood of the innocent, then the rest of her will turn to dust as well!!)
Mars
July 22nd, 2008 at 6:03 pm [Reply]

What time does Jeopardy come on for some of you people? Noon? That doesn’t make sense.

So I rescued this stack of funnies from the 80’s from my dad’s basement. Some are from 1983 and some are from 1988. Last time I told you what Judge Parker was like; now I’ll tell you what Spider-Man was like.

EARLY 1983: The tail-end of something that actually looks pretty sweet and action-packed; it’s Spidey teaming up with Namor the Sub-Mariner to save Atlantis or something. I didn’t see any other strips in the series like this.

SPRING 1983: Peter and MJ are on a date and decide to enjoy the latest craze — video game arcades. “There, I destroyed 57 ghoulships! Beat THAT, Tiger!” “You’re on!” Ghoulships?
Suddenly he realizes, “With my super-reflexes I could beat this game easily! I must mess up or my secret identity will be blown!” Yeah, I can just see that….”that guy just got the highest score! He’s Spider-Man! *raspy noise from Invasion of the Body Snatchers*”
So he deliberately throws his game. Then it turns out two high-ranking people from the Bugle are there playing a different game and I don’t know why this is important because I only have the Sundays here.

MID-1983: Parker doesn’t want to keep his secret from MJ anymore. He speeds off on his motorcycle toward her apartment with plans to tell her everything, but gets into an accident and walks away with amnesia. He picks up the wallet of a dangerous criminal and believes it to be him. “OH NO, I’M A MURDERER!!”
Because he thinks he’s someone else, he goes missing for several days. Eventually MJ finally gets ahold of him and he asks her what he does for a living, hoping he ma a mistake. Referring to his photography, she answers “You shoot people! And you’re really good at it!”
That makes him even more depressed and…..the collection jumps to 1987.
So to everyone who keeps suspecting a tired amnesia plot every time Spidey hits his head: they can’t do that, because they already did that in 1983. ….Right?

LATE 1987: They’re married at this point. There’s this guy named Destructo who’s creaming people in wrestling matches and Spidey is out to prove he’s cheating by enhancing his performance somehow. So he challenges Destructo to a match. Being new to the whole secret-life thing, MJ freaks the heck out and doesn’t want him to go, but she ultimately can’t stop him. So he fights the guy for a few weeks and it turns out his arms were robotic implants the whole time, controlled via remote-control by the wrestling manager. Another weird crime foiled!

1988: Boy, are you guys going to find this one ironic. JJ Jameson hires his nephew to draw a new comic strip that makes fun of Spider-Man. Spidey doesn’t like it at all. “ARGH! This horrible strip is making a MOCKERY of me!!” This goes on for several months. Every Sunday for the next few weeks he is complaining about how a bad comic strip starring him is ruining his reputation. I don’t think it was meant to be meta, but dang.
One thing I see a lot of in these old strips that I don’t see anymore is Parker casually sitting sideways on the wall reading a paper or talking to MJ or something like it’s nothing out-of-the-ordinary. He does a lot of casual wall-walking in these older strips. They should bring that back. It’s fun.
So it gets resolved when the nephew is kidnapped and Spider-Man saves him and he doesn’t want to draw the strip anymore.

LATE 1988: The Hulk guest-stars! Only for some weird reason it’s not David Banner. He comes to Spidey asking for help with his little problem. My paper dropped the strip at this time, so I don’t know what happened next.
Kaitlyn
July 22nd, 2008 at 6:08 pm [Reply]

46 Mars – when did you go over old Judge Parkers? Man, I miss everything.
AhClem
July 22nd, 2008 at 6:09 pm [Reply]

Hey, Josh -

Good News: I watched Jepoardy today for the first time in over 20 years, thanks to you. Nice job! It was good seeing you in something other than grainy JPEGs.

Bad News: I started reading Mary Worth, Rex Morgan, Judge Parker and Mark Trail a couple of years ago, after a long and blissful absence, thanks to you (and CC).

Well, you can’t have everything.
lorne
July 22nd, 2008 at 6:10 pm [Reply]

Oh! That last strip was “Judge Parker”.

At first I thought it was “Spider-Man”. It resembles most of the action in Spider-Man lately.
DAS
July 22nd, 2008 at 6:14 pm [Reply]

It resembles most of the action in Spider-Man lately. – lorne

Action? In Spider Man? In Judge Parker? Where?
Violet
July 22nd, 2008 at 6:15 pm [Reply]

I actually have quite a few pictures featuring me in the exact same posture as Mary Worth in panel two, where I’m leaning way over to make sure I’m in the shot, little realizing that I am already well within the frame. If I can extrapolate at all from my own experience, Mary is TRASHED.
A Lemur
July 22nd, 2008 at 6:17 pm [Reply]

And as Dr. Jeff Corey looks off to a horizon full of hope and promise, the gentle sea breaze gently tossels his gently flowing locks while Mary gently leans her head on Jeff’s gentle shoulder until Jeff realizes that human being do not in fact bend that way and that Mary is an evil, insectoid alien queen intent on impregnating him with her larval hellspawn that will devour him alive from the inside out while Mary looks on amused and smugly intones, ‘perhaps a wider course of antibiotics, Jeff?’
Kaitlyn
July 22nd, 2008 at 6:19 pm [Reply]

Hey – when does Jeopardy air in your area and on what network?

It airs at 3:30 here (as Gabe already said) in Memphis on CBS.

Right before it is Inside Edition which is stupider than … Kelly Welly?
queek
July 22nd, 2008 at 6:26 pm [Reply]

65 minutes and counting for me and a date with Joshian Jeopardy.
PeteMoss
July 22nd, 2008 at 6:37 pm [Reply]

# 46 Mars
Thanks. Very cool synopsis of the comics. I would like to subscribe to your newsletter!

#51 Violet
I was thinking something like that, having been on a “mini-cruise” and found myself in a similar posture as Mary’s. (Those damn patches don’t work) However, I had the good manners to assume said posture over the side of the damn boat and not right over the captain’s shoes while he’s at the helm. Jeff really should reconsider the whole Vietnam Peace Village thing. How bad could your average SE Asian VD really be?
gnome de blog
July 22nd, 2008 at 6:43 pm [Reply]

Abbey Spencer does not look like a woman who hasn’t had sex since 1995. With the scarlet hair setting off those black, black eyebrows she looks like a woman who gets whatever she wants, even from Sam Driver.
Lisa
July 22nd, 2008 at 6:43 pm [Reply]

{#19 Dingo yesterthread:

Baka Gaijin and my fellow gay ‘mudgeons: in that fine picture, doesn’t Josh look like the very definition of “otter” in the gay lexicon?

I don’t know about “otter” but our Josh is just cute as a bug! A bug I tells ya! Don’t you just want to pinch those cheeks?}

Wikipedia failed me. :o( What does otter mean in this context, please?

And I hope Josh swept the whatever… money?
Sequitur
July 22nd, 2008 at 6:47 pm [Reply]

Ah, Josh. How could you not get the Rockfish Bass question. You’re from Maryland. I got that question and I’m from… not Maryland. (But we do have a Rockfish restaurant nearby. Good fish at expensive prices!)
PeteMoss
July 22nd, 2008 at 6:53 pm [Reply]

#58 Sequitur, the Bum Boat serves rockfish at scrod prices!
Lisa
July 22nd, 2008 at 6:56 pm [Reply]

Why the hell is that restaurant named The Bum Boat?? I have been meaning to ask for a while.

In the US it connotes homeless and possibly drunken people on a boat.

In the UK it connotes rear ends on a boat.
A Lemur
July 22nd, 2008 at 6:58 pm [Reply]

Mary Worth, take two:

‘Yes, mistakes were made, but admiting it is the first step’.

‘I wasn´t admiting it Mary, it was just a general comment.’

‘So. You don’t think you made a mistake.’

‘I didn’t say that, I was just making a comment about relationships’

‘If you think our relationship is so bad, why did you come crawling back to me?’

‘I didn’t come crawling back to you, I just realized I was out of line and wanted to apologize.’

‘This doesn’t sound like an appology, this sounds like an accusation.’

‘I’m not accusing you of anything Mary, I was wrong and I apologized.’

‘I notice you used the past tense. Do you think this apology, as you call it, earns you any special points? I told you you needed to be on your best behavior, and so far this doesn´t look very promising.’

‘Well, relationships are a two way street, Mary, there’s got to be give and take on both sides.’

‘Are you calling me a prostitute?’

‘What?’

‘You used the word steet, prostitutes walk the streets. Is that what you’re calling me?’

‘No, Mary, no! I don´t think of you that way at all!’

‘So! You don’t think of me at all! You’re a bastard Jeff Corey and I’m sorry I saved your life! Why are you tying that rope to the anchor? What do you think you’re going to do with that loop you’re making, you’re certainly no sailor and Acck. Ackkkk. Jffffff.’

(Splash)

And as Dr. Jeff Corey ties the boat up to the dock he thinks, ‘A fine day of sailing, yes, a fine day indeed.’
Tom
July 22nd, 2008 at 7:01 pm [Reply]

So, Margaret likes it Ruff, eh? I’m surprised no one commented on how Dennis uses his dog’s French kissing technique as a distraction while he gets down on the floor to look up Margaret’s skirt. At last, the boy does something menacing! Or, rather, mischievous.
PeteMoss
July 22nd, 2008 at 7:01 pm [Reply]

# 60 Lisa
Maybe the names “Ass Cabin,” “Tushy Trauler” and “Drunken Derilick’s Dinghy” were already taken.
Tom
July 22nd, 2008 at 7:02 pm [Reply]

I like how in today’s Zits, our hero confesses to having trouble talking to girls … and yet he already has firm firm, ripe buttocks cradled in his oversized palms.
dreadedcandiru2
July 22nd, 2008 at 7:13 pm [Reply]

I just saw the show. Tough break getting Final Jeopardy wrong. Alex is gonna be talking about you the same way he talked about the kid from yesterday.
Angry Beaver
July 22nd, 2008 at 7:27 pm [Reply]

And now for your hearing displeasure, Mary Worth breaks into the song ‘I’m Still Here’!
GQ Luv
July 22nd, 2008 at 7:34 pm [Reply]

Stellar Jeopardy work today Josh. Representing for the “soap opera” comic crowd. Tell me, is Trebek as much of a smug ass as he comes off on tv?
Kaitlyn
July 22nd, 2008 at 7:37 pm [Reply]

58 – Sequitur – I said the same thing! “Oh, he’ll get this, he’s from Maryland.”

I didn’t know it, and I was born there.
BigTed
July 22nd, 2008 at 7:37 pm [Reply]

“Mistakes were made”…. Ah, Mary, nothing says romance like quoting Richard Nixon.
Islamorada Girl
July 22nd, 2008 at 7:42 pm [Reply]

Josh you looked fine on Jeopardy. It’s a lot harder than it looks at home, when you’re under the studio lights and all that pressure. But I wanted to smack that Mark guy’s smug little face with a dead rockfish. Repeatedly.
18,000 readers can’t be wrong!
BakNBlack
July 22nd, 2008 at 7:51 pm [Reply]

MW: Holy crap, I have never been more sure in my life that Mary Worth is going to break out into a retelling of Misery than right now. I mean, look at her face. Annie Worth is about to break out her axe on an unsuspecting Jeff. Once he crashes his car into a snowbank, of course.
Kaitlyn
July 22nd, 2008 at 7:53 pm [Reply]

71 BakNBlack – Or crashes his boat into an iceberg.
Xopher.tm
July 22nd, 2008 at 7:53 pm [Reply]

“Otter”?

A slippery little water weasel that busts open clams with rocks while floating on its back….

Totally Josh.
Muffaroo Wuffaroo
July 22nd, 2008 at 7:55 pm [Reply]

Josh, I really liked the big wet kiss you planted on Alex. He looked pretty surprised. I think it might be the reason your buzzer was giving you electrical shocks, though. My impression is that they got more severe as the show went on. Was that the case?

And hey, those guards — security guys, whatever they are — sure move fast, don’t they?
Just_human
July 22nd, 2008 at 7:55 pm [Reply]

I was right on the country (Israel) but who the hell knows who the PM of that country is? We’ve got 50 different states to attempt to keep track of…. tough break man.

On a humorous note.. did you get the keep the $1?

I only caught the last few minutes.. I completely forgot about it (arrrg), so what was the premise? Is it Blogger Jeopardy, or did you manage to get a spot on the show and it had nothing to do with this amazing site?
survivor
July 22nd, 2008 at 7:57 pm [Reply]

46- Mars, “Spidey doesn’t like it at all. ‘ARGH! This horrible strip is making a MOCKERY of me!!’”

Oh man, please scan that image of Spiderman reading his own comic strip and stating that ‘ARGH!’ quote. That is just too awesome.
Lake Eerie
July 22nd, 2008 at 8:04 pm [Reply]

Spoiler alert…

Golda Meir, damn it!
Actually, I guessed Israel, but forgot her name. Oh well.
Lake Eerie
July 22nd, 2008 at 8:06 pm [Reply]

74 Muffaroo…
Weren’t we supposed to avoid spoilers for those who didn’t watch? You don’t see me mentioning the arrival of that Emporer Chennux fellow at the studio…
Sheila Sternwell
July 22nd, 2008 at 8:06 pm [Reply]

Josh, that has to be the first time that Rex Morgan was mentioned on TV since at least 1981.

A couple of other thoughts: What the hell with your buzzer, dude? You knew almost every question in the opening round but Smugman kept getting the winning buzzer, which just solidified my resolve to continue to never watch game shows.

Also, Alex Trebek, host of a show that’s supposed to be about trivialities, didn’t know RMMD was still in production. Silly Alex.
Steve the Pocket
July 22nd, 2008 at 8:08 pm [Reply]

#9 Dynamite XI: Well, then, it’s no wonder Josh glossed over what this blog is really about!

Incidentally, I totally forgot that the Jeopardy thing was today — I’ve been reading through the archives so I got mixed up and somehow thought it had already happened months ago. So what are the odds I should bother to watch Jeopardy tonight for the first time since I started college? Ha! I actually screamed “HEY!” when Josh came on and then had to explain myself in front of my folks.

And I now know how “Fruhlinger” is pronounced. :^)
Ruth
July 22nd, 2008 at 8:11 pm [Reply]

Josh, are you really tall or was everyone else really short? And was that woman as annoying in person as she was on television?
bats :[
July 22nd, 2008 at 8:15 pm [Reply]

Wow, that was a hair-raising show. None of the contestants were slouches. I think I counted two mistakes in the main game (a few more non-answers)…that’s remarkable! I was stunned at how cool Josh looked — not that I expected drooling or anything, but if you knew my real-life friends…

In honor of our resident Whiz Kid, something with a less-than-Whiz-Kid:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/2693543161/sizes/o/

[I think the guy who was Friday and Monday's champion looked a lot like Max Mallory. Josh should've socked him in the chops.]
Laura G
July 22nd, 2008 at 8:16 pm [Reply]

Hey, at least you knew that the question to that “V have maps” answer wasn’t *China*.
Gerund
July 22nd, 2008 at 8:16 pm [Reply]

I really like how Mary Worth glared at us today while dispensing her timeless nuggets of wisdom, by which I mean I developed an eating disorder after Mary Worth glared at us today while dispensing her timeless nuggets of wisdom.
Leafy
July 22nd, 2008 at 8:16 pm [Reply]

I was shouting answers to you, Josh. Sometimes it even worked!

That Mark guy sure was obnoxious though.
Uncle Lumpy
July 22nd, 2008 at 8:17 pm [Reply]

When CBS got the Janet Jackson fine overturned I thought you’d get a little more slack with the nudity. Guess not, huh.
Scherzo
July 22nd, 2008 at 8:17 pm [Reply]

Yes, did you keep your $1 Josh? I’d frame it, if I wuz you.
Rhonda
July 22nd, 2008 at 8:20 pm [Reply]

Great job Josh! We, your family, were proud. And you’d be happy to know that Reese (Josh’s 3 year old cousin) recognized you! :)
Kenny
July 22nd, 2008 at 8:22 pm [Reply]

Josh,

Thumbs up on the Jeopardy. You manhandled Marky Haircut there until the end – really sweet move on the all-out bet.

Joshspeaks.com

All the greatest hits and quips from the Jep appearance!
shnazzer
July 22nd, 2008 at 8:22 pm [Reply]

i just feel bad for the folks that might be searching for this blog now thinking “Rex Morgan fans? I love that strip too!”

and by “feel bad” i mean i wish i could see their faces as they read the entries. specially the genitalia one.
Sili
July 22nd, 2008 at 8:24 pm [Reply]

How odd.

To me it looks more like poor Lucky Eddie needs a prune a day.
Scherzo
July 22nd, 2008 at 8:24 pm [Reply]

Our good friend has written the most appropriate song…

I Lost On Jeopardy
by Weird Al Yankovic

Note: Italisized lyrics are spoken by Don Pardo.

I was there to match my intellect on national TV
Against a plumber, oh, and an architect, both with a PhD
I was tense, I was nervous, I guess it just wasn’t my night
Art Fleming gave the answers
Oh, but I couldn’t get the questions right, -ight, -ight

I lost on Jeopardy, baby (oooh)
I lost on Jeopardy, baby (oooh)

Well, I knew I was in trouble now
My hope of winning sank
Oh, ’cause I got the Daily Double now
And then my mind went blank
I took Potpourri for one hundred
And then my head started to spin
Well, I’m givin’ up Don Pardo
Just tell me now what I didn’t win, yeah, yeah

I lost on Jeopardy, baby (oooh)
I lost on Jeopardy, baby (oooh)

That’s right, Al–You lost. And let me tell you what you didn’t win: a twenty volume set of the Encyclopedia International, a case of Turtle Wax, and a year’s supply of Rice-A-Roni, the San Francisco Treat. But that’s not all. You also made yourself look like a jerk in front of millions of people. You brought shame and disgrace to your family name for generations to come. You don’t get to come back tomorrow. You don’t even get a lousy copy of our home game. You’re a complete loser!

Don’t know what I was thinkin’ of
I guess I just wasn’t too bright
Well, I sure hope I do better
Next weekend on The Price Is Right, -ight, -ight

I lost on Jeopardy, baby (oooh)
I lost on Jeopardy, baby (oooh)
I lost on Jeopardy, baby
Allison
July 22nd, 2008 at 8:31 pm [Reply]

I watched the end but missed the beginning of Josh’s Jeopardy so I’m hoping (hint, hint) that someone might be kind enough to post a recap of the mini-interview that Trebek does with the contestants. (After an appropriate spoiler time has passed, of course.)

57 – With slang like this, Urban Dictionary is your friend. You’ll get crude, sexist, racist, etc., definitions too, but you generally get enough of an idea of what the word means.

75 – Though it’s less funny (so feel free to ignore me), second-place gets $2000 and third-place gets $1000.
Mooncattie
July 22nd, 2008 at 8:37 pm [Reply]

Well done, Josh! We’re proud of you!
Hope you all had fun at the pub tonight.
velvet goldmine
July 22nd, 2008 at 8:43 pm [Reply]

So I’m watching my 7 p.m. Jeopardy here in Connecticut, all excited, and get to the beginning of the second segment. “Well, Alec, I’ve always been fascinated by old newspaper….”

THEN THE MARGO BOXCAR SATURN 6:30 NEWS CUTS IN AND TAKES OVER THE WHOLE BROADCAST, AND THEY NEVER DID SHOW THE EPISODE!

The crawl said something about “the weather” (we’re having a light rain) interrupting the show and they will correct the situation when they can? I guess that means they’ll run it at 2 in the morning?

My husband actually called the station and said he was upset because “a friend” was on Jeopardy and they were seeing fit to rereun their evening news instead. I’m a little embarassed about that….he even left his name and phone number!

Anyway, I can kind of piece together the show from the comments, so great job Josh! It’s a huge achievement to get on the show and maybe get new readers, etc — though I can barely get through the comments thread now. Good for you for going after something so intimidating and doing what sounds like a Gil Thorpian effort, with Abby Spencer sex appeal, even if the ending was a little Funky Winkerbeanish.

And….. screw you, Channel 8!!
Goat
July 22nd, 2008 at 8:50 pm [Reply]

“What is the Medulla… (Boxcar!) … Medulla Oblongota?” (Save!)

Nice job. Those video questions really break up the show’s rhythm.
Talking Squirrel
July 22nd, 2008 at 8:53 pm [Reply]

L:et us not neglect the real-life, notorious gay otters at the San Diego Zoo:

http://lordsofapathy.blogspot.com/2007/03/gay-otters-terrorize-on-lookers-at-zoo.html

It’d be raaah-vish-ing to see them make an appearance on MT. I wonder if Jackal Rod would make ‘em talk with a lithp.
C.
July 22nd, 2008 at 8:56 pm [Reply]

75, etc: Yes Josh keeps $1, and 999 more to boot as J!’s third-place winner.

I’d say we PayPal him $1 in honor, but with the Paypal fees it would be a losing proposition for him.
bats :[
July 22nd, 2008 at 9:00 pm [Reply]

95. velvet goldmine: right before it showed in Tucson, we had an extended severe weather forecast (because we are actually getting some nasty T-storms in the area). Still there was a lot of “pleasedon’tcutintotheshow” from me. And fortunately, it was run in its entireity. If the DVD works out, maybe I can persuade mr. bats :[ to burn copies, or figure out how to post the good stuff (read, no local damned commercials for Max Mallory wannabees) on youtube or something…

96. goat: I hate the video questions; hey, if it’s not a Double Jeopardy question, just leave it as text! This never would’ve happened if Don Pardo and Art Fleming were still around…

This is still the best gameshow on TV. Pretty much all bang for the buck, as opposed to the lights ‘n’ dramatic music ‘n’ fake tension on things like Millionaire…
trey le parc
July 22nd, 2008 at 9:00 pm [Reply]

MW: Maybe it’s me, but the angle of Mary’s head in relation to Jeff’s body leads me to believe she’s rifling around in his front pocket, and I adamantly refuse to speculate further.

And what’s up with the the strip’s Sunday colorist? Mary retains her geriatric halo but Jeff seems to have been fed head first into the Wayback Machine.
C.
July 22nd, 2008 at 9:00 pm [Reply]

95: I was lucky today as the updates on Southern Arizona’s monsoon killed the last few minutes of Ellen Degeneres instead of J! like it did last week.
Lisa
July 22nd, 2008 at 9:20 pm [Reply]

(57 – With slang like this, Urban Dictionary is your friend. You’ll get crude, sexist, racist, etc., definitions too, but you generally get enough of an idea of what the word means.)

Thanks, Allison. Now it makes sense, even though with that suit on it was hard to see how much body hair Josh has (I only saw the photo someone linked from the Jeopardy site.).
Perky Bird
July 22nd, 2008 at 9:25 pm [Reply]

After seeing mary’s pose in the last panel today, I now know why she always wears a scarf. It’s obvious that her head isn’t actually fully attached to her head…sort of like Nearly-Headless Nick in the Harry Potter books. The scarf helps keep the head in an almost-human position most of the time, but today, she clearly tied it too loosely, and the head is slipping off her neck.
Harold
July 22nd, 2008 at 9:28 pm [Reply]

Repost from previous thread:

Josh, I would have said “Menachem Begin.” And “Venice” instead of “Vilnius.”

I think your buzzer was defective. That, or your Old French Whore was dead.

http://snltranscripts.jt.org/97/97nwhore.phtml
mnemonica
July 22nd, 2008 at 9:37 pm [Reply]

Josh, you did better than I would have. Except I knew Golda Meir. Sort of. My answer would have been “that woman prime minister from Israel, what was her name? Not Bella Abzug …”
Inspector Dim
July 22nd, 2008 at 9:44 pm [Reply]

@95 Velvet Goldmine – I’m in CT too, and the same damn thing happened to me! …I thought my DVR was busted at first, but apparently it was stupid Channel 8 instead!

DAMN YOU WTNH! DAMN YOOOOU!
Big Sims
July 22nd, 2008 at 9:47 pm [Reply]

Jolly good show Josh. Well played, and you looked quite natty to boot. Your all in final bet was dramatic and the whole family here gasped when you…
Should I say it here? Seems like some people missed it.
Have a good time at your party tonight!
Poteet
July 22nd, 2008 at 10:03 pm [Reply]

# 16 Spotted H0rse — Per yesterthread, thanks for the vivid imagery in your Dagwood info. I’ll think of that the next time I’m trying to stay awake:-).
Poteet
July 22nd, 2008 at 10:06 pm [Reply]

Josh, I saw you on JEOPARDY today, and I thought you were the most intriguing-looking contestant. My eyes were drawn toward you like the eyes of a lepidopterist toward a Dakota Skipper.

That refers to your intriguing appearance, not to any desire to catch and pin you.

Um.
Mike
July 22nd, 2008 at 10:07 pm [Reply]

Those of us who haven’t seen tonight’s Jeopardy (because it still is airing on the west coast) really appreciate the several posts who have ruined the result by posting it.

Thanks a lot.
velvet goldmine
July 22nd, 2008 at 10:19 pm [Reply]

#110 Mike…..Uh…. Then why would you read the comments thread….not to mention KEEP reading? Trust me, I came here to find results (see #95) and it took awhile to get the gist of what happened. Dude….common sense.

#106 Inspector Dim: “You damn dirty local ABC affiliate!” I don’t care how cute Geoff Fox is…I’m on boycott.

Bats and others: Thanks for the sympathy! And from the first segment I saw, I agree that something was up with Josh’ buzzer (ahem). I can’t wait to read his recap.
Poteet
July 22nd, 2008 at 10:20 pm [Reply]

A3G — I see real potential in this storyline for a suspense-movie script. It helps to have a big doofus making huge mistakes so the bad guys can move in more easily. Eric definitely fits the bill. Especially with his line about the horrors his brother may have endured.

I didn’t say it would be a GOOD script.
TK
July 22nd, 2008 at 10:25 pm [Reply]

Great job on Jeopardy!, Josh. I really enjoyed your performance and I agree that you were the most alluring of the contestants. :-)
Weaselboy
July 22nd, 2008 at 10:30 pm [Reply]

Congrats, Josh. You did really well!
Mike
July 22nd, 2008 at 10:34 pm [Reply]

“Dude….common sense.”

Get over yourself. The last time I checked, the subject was comics – I believe I’m entitled to read about that, aren’t I?

All I’m saying is that a little common courtesy goes a long way. The reaction from you to my post is certainly indicative of that.
hobbit
July 22nd, 2008 at 10:35 pm [Reply]

Hey Josh- Great job on Jeopardy! I liked your final bet, very dramatic.
Don, the Rebel without a Blog
July 22nd, 2008 at 10:35 pm [Reply]

Hey, Josh, I’ll bet Mary Worth knows that the state fish of Florida is the sailfish.
mollificent
July 22nd, 2008 at 10:35 pm [Reply]

I’m scrolling right down to the bottom so I don’t see any spoilers just to say, Josh, you look verra dashing indeed, young man! and I’m soooo glad you got “horseshoe nail”, I was jumping up and down and yelling at the television. ;)

(first commercial right now….)

OK, we’re back!
mollificent
July 22nd, 2008 at 10:36 pm [Reply]

Oh my God, hearing Alex Trebek say “Rex Morgan, M.D.” in that deep, ponderous voice…I think I need a cold shower.

Pray for me. ;)
Spotted HØrse, Jungle Steed
July 22nd, 2008 at 10:38 pm [Reply]

#108 Poteet: Anytime! :) You can probably find a visual of Dagwood’s wood by using creative web searching techniques, but commodorejohn is quite right when he cautions that you can’t unsee it.

Josh, you are a true champeen, buddy! You definitely got the stuff.

Truth to tell, I’m a little relieved that Josh didn’t give the exact blog name, so the CC’s bandwidth usage isn’t as likely to explode, as so many great snarkers of yore are tough to find these days amongst the tides of friendly new folk.
cheech wizard
July 22nd, 2008 at 10:38 pm [Reply]

Josh – Great job on J tonight, even if your knowledge of hard-ass Israeli grandmotherly types came up a bit short. It was also fun to see some “live” footage of you and get a better sense of just who this guy is behind this great snarkopedia.
cheech wizard
July 22nd, 2008 at 10:43 pm [Reply]

P.S. – I was also very disappointed that the “V” category didn’t include the answer “Hot reptillian chicks who devour live birds and rats.”
Joe Btfsplk
July 22nd, 2008 at 10:45 pm [Reply]

Hagar – Apples are hard on your what, now? Well OK… I guess I can accept the notion that you actually have teeth. But I would think that the greater difficulty would come from your having no lower jaw.
Nitpicker
July 22nd, 2008 at 10:45 pm [Reply]

For the record, I think Josh got robbed on at least one question. The winner clearly answered “suffragists” on the question about female supporters of voting rights, when the correct term is definitely “suffragettes”. Where is the justice?
danzig
July 22nd, 2008 at 10:46 pm [Reply]

I thought “The Wizard of Id” was set in the middle ages. I did not know that they had such a run on oil in the 1400’s.
Josh
July 22nd, 2008 at 10:46 pm [Reply]

Hey all, thanks for your kind Jeopardy words! Mark was actually a very nice guy and out of all the other folks there, he was the one I was most glad to lose too (well, maybe Dan from yesterday). Anyway, I wll have a long “What it’s like to be on Jeopardy” thing posted tomorrow at some point.

Josh
Artist formerly known as Ben
July 22nd, 2008 at 10:49 pm [Reply]

#102 Lisa,
The Urban Dictionary can be a decent guide to the argot of these young whippersnappers. My problem with it is wading through all the repetitious/redundant definitions, usages that work in personal attacks, et al. The site just doesn’t seem to believe in editing at all.

And big ups to Josh on the Jeopardy performance.
mollificent
July 22nd, 2008 at 10:53 pm [Reply]

P.S. Also the sleep apnea device made me laugh uproariously because it reminded me of the end of that Artie Ziff/Indecent Proposal Simpsons episode…”I travel the world and the seven seas…I AM WATCHING YOU THROUGH A CAMERA!!”

OK, I shut up now. ;D

P.S. Way to kick ass in Double Jeopardy, Josh! Woot!
bats :[
July 22nd, 2008 at 10:56 pm [Reply]

109. Poteet: oh! I thought that “pinning” reference had to do with you, Josh, and some MRSA-infected wrestling mats…
Muffaroo Wuffaroo
July 22nd, 2008 at 10:57 pm [Reply]

I can’t believe I forgot to post these, in all the excitement of watching TV and all…

Archie – We have lift-off! Man, when Betty gets scared, she really farts hard.

Crank – Why do people even talk to Crankshaft anyway? Is there a cash prize for whoever lasts longest without getting that look of dismay and remembering that they have to go do something somewhere?

Curtis – “First thing about being cool, you have to wear a cool hat like mine!” “On second thought, I think I will take being tripped in the hall and given swirlies.”

DtM – This is a bit menacing. Margaret has passed the Ruff test, and why the hell is Dennis on all fours? Does she have to pass the Dennis test now?

GA – Oh, come on, already. I’m waiting for the part where Pierre ze Directeur has to go tell Chef Meowrice that his guest star was kicked off the set for whizzing on the table in the first panel.

H&J – How soon before we see that the treadmill is a giant hamster wheel?

Pluggers – Pluggers usually get their casual footwear from dumpsters outside of funeral homes.
goldamarlin
July 22nd, 2008 at 11:01 pm [Reply]

Wasn’t it Josh who said “suffragists” instead of “suffragettes”? And the word does fit, but I’m betting the writers or whoever were scrambling behind the scenes to make sure.

Anyway, that meaty sound you heard tonight was me slapping my forehead at “Dubcek.” Dang. Also, I haven’t been as upset by the word “swordfish” since that awful Travolta movie.

As someone who’s tried out three times for the show, and made the contestant pool twice without being called, though, I say well done, sir. And a question — was the $1000 third-place prize enough (after taxes) to cover the expense of the trip out there? Or did you take a loss when all was said and done?

Also, when did you try out for this episode? This year’s tests or last?
bees on pie
July 22nd, 2008 at 11:02 pm [Reply]

It’s all over on the west coast–great job, Josh!

My reaction to the last question was just the opposite of many commenters. If I had had Israel, I could have come up with Meir. As it was, I was totally lost!
Frank Parsnip
July 22nd, 2008 at 11:03 pm [Reply]

Jugs Parker: I like that Sam’s got just about the hairiest knuckles on the planet. What next? Liver spots on the backs of his hands, pimples on his keister and massive caterpiller eyebrows on the way? Judge Parker got old and is swiftly moving towards retirement, and it will someday happen to Sam as well. Perhaps it’s no wonder that he and Abbey haven’t been intimate in decades with the conga line of kidney stones he’s got ready to go.
bees on pie
July 22nd, 2008 at 11:04 pm [Reply]

@131: it was Josh. And I was sure they were going to do one of those scoring-change things after the break, but I was wrong. :-)
Medulla, Medulla Oblongata
July 22nd, 2008 at 11:05 pm [Reply]

Nice show.
Josh
July 22nd, 2008 at 11:14 pm [Reply]

#131/4 — Yes, it was me who did suffragists. “Suffragette” is a term that is exclusively used in the context of British politics, and the “-ette” is kind of considered demeaning by some (as I think it was meant to be at the time).

My in-person tryout was in DC in May of ‘07, and I filmed the show this past April. (I brought my laptop and blogged from LA — y’all were none the wiser!) The $1000 (that’s what you get for third place) covered the trip and then some — my wife and I actually used frequent flier miles to go out there, but we stayed for a few extra days and rented a car, so all in all, counting our dinners out and gas and hotel, we probably came out a bit ahead.

Josh
Tantris
July 22nd, 2008 at 11:16 pm [Reply]

Alex went out of his way to ask about Rex Morgan.

Not L’il Abner. Not Gasoline Alley.

Rex Morgan.

Sorry, but I can smell a shout-out when I, um, hear one. Mr. Trebek may not have owned up to it on the show, but he’s clearly one of of the dedicated 18,000 CC adherents. No question in my mind!
bats :[
July 22nd, 2008 at 11:20 pm [Reply]

136. Josh: yow! So you do win some cash, but you have to pay for your travel/flight out? And accommodations? Huh. Cheap bastards.
Portia
July 22nd, 2008 at 11:28 pm [Reply]

My chance to see Josh on Jeopardy! was overridden by a community college basketball game airing on its channel. For one brief evening, I had a taste of hell–at least as it would come from the pen of the creator of Gil Thorp.
Luna
July 22nd, 2008 at 11:29 pm [Reply]

I was rootin’ for ya, Josh.

Was it just me, or was Jeopardy preceded tonight by the most obnoxious contestant EVER on the Wheel of Fortune? Did anybody else see that woman??!!? I’ve never seen Sajak so close to throttling anybody.
Poteet
July 22nd, 2008 at 11:46 pm [Reply]

# 129 bats — HAR! And thanks for the reminder. I am signing off early tonight so I can postpone seeing the latest about those wretched (Boxcar Saturn) mats. If there has ever been a more disgusting theme for a comic storyline, I don’t want to know. I suppose at some point we may actually see those mats, fluorescently glowing with their huge load of MRSA, and with strong odor lines radiating from their equally huge load of odiferous perspiration absorbed during years of…So sorry, leaving now.
Joe
July 22nd, 2008 at 11:48 pm [Reply]

What is this Jeopardy show? Kissing the host, security guards, someone naked?! Someone Youtube it.
Spotted HØrse, Jungle Steed
July 23rd, 2008 at 12:02 am [Reply]

Re: MRSA mats: FWIW, I just finished a six week, 2-hrs a day yoga class at ye olde community college. Every time I unrolled my mat, I thought of Rex Morgan, Andy Morgu, and MRSA. I inexplicably expressed my mild microbephobia by singing to myself, “MRSA MRSA MRSA! I made you out of clay! MRSA MRSA MRSA! With MRSA I will play!” Followed by a cheerleader style fight team sort of “Gooooo MRSA!”
teegee
July 23rd, 2008 at 12:08 am [Reply]

Josh (re: Jeopardy): I felt a sea-change today. This country, as most sense, is in real trouble. We seem to have lost our way somehow, and there seems to be nowhere to turn. Many would cast our current president among the worst ever, and our morale as a nation seems to be spiraling down the drain. You, however, have rekindled the flame. You could have bet it all, and walked away with nothing … instead, you left a single solitary dollar on the board. A poignant homage to George Washington, our greatest leader, and to all those who fought against all odds to create this country. You, Josh, are a True Patriot. To give up the fortune that could have so obviously been yours … a True Patriot indeed.

Oh, and next time I see a sailfish, I’m bust that fin right off his back.
Eats Shoots And Leaves
July 23rd, 2008 at 12:12 am [Reply]

Great balls of Margo-ing Boxcar! WashingtonPost.com must have got their days mixed up, but panel two of their strip of Mary Worth for July 22 is the dirtiest, funniest thing that old bat has ever, or will ever say!

Sorry, not html literate.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/artsandliving/comics/king_mary_worth.html?name=Mary_Worth
Eats Shoots And Leaves
July 23rd, 2008 at 12:16 am [Reply]

Re: post 145,
I also think
“Sometimes it’s the dirty root.”
would look great on a t-shirt.
Dingo
July 23rd, 2008 at 12:33 am [Reply]

Oy. An “otter” in the context of the gay bear movement is a furry man who is tall and slender.

It’s very simple. The way to remember the PMs of Israel is to think of Barry Manilow’s Copacabana:

(sing)

Right now is Olmert, but last was Sharon
Replacing Barak (such a Jew) who replaced Netanyahu
Before was Peres (hah!) and Yitzhak Rabin
The other Yitzhak? Yes, Shamir. Told Peres “Get out of here!”
But – OY! – that man Shamir, before again appeared
He replaced that Menachem Begin
Am I being clear?

Then there’s Yitzhak (Yitz!) that Yitzhak Rabin
The hottest PM in the cabin
Yes, that Yitzhak (Yitz!) that Yitzah Rabin
Beauty and fashion? Meir couldn’t dash in
After Levi… Levi Eshkol (Levi… Levi Eshkol yeah)

Don’t forget David! David Ben Gurion
As a PM he was swell
Just don’t ask of the hotel
And Moshe “Pit” Sharett, he was the second
The greasy pole he climbed upon
After Ben Gurion

You can fill in the rest of the song yourselves
mumbles
July 23rd, 2008 at 12:34 am [Reply]

“Also, Alex Trebek, host of a show that’s supposed to be about trivialities, didn’t know RMMD was still in production.” – Sheila Sternwell

I think that was a front! He’s the one who eagerly mentioned Rex Morgan first.

If we start getting posts here from “CanadianAlex” or some such name about the awesome Rex Morgan, we know that Josh got a new fan.

Excellent showing, Josh!

[Did Dan with the Sideshow Bob 'do from the day before smell a little funny from the suit he got out of the dumpster? (yeah I'm a Jeopardy geek)]
bats :[
July 23rd, 2008 at 12:43 am [Reply]

143. Spotted Horse: so, um, you had a whole section of the yoga studio to yourself, didn’t you? :)

Some Hump Day observations:

JP: Sam is weighing the alternatives. Having sex with Abbey to distract her, or letting her belittle his golfing form.
Maybe one is much like another, particularly from the way she’s polishing that one club.
I think the technical phrase for it is, “You’re screwed, Sam.”.

MW: I think Jeff and Mary have, consciously or not, begun a platitude-to-the-death competition. Who will win? Or are there ever winners in such a God-forsaken battle of bon mots?
And why do I feel so….dirty…when Mary mentions “the tender bud”?

Phantom: these two clowns are going to putt-putt right into Hurricane Dolly, aren’t they?

RMMD: “I know my rights as an a-hole! I just don’t care anymore! I’m never going to get lucky with my wife again, and I just don’t care!”

FOOB: woo hoo! Hijinx will definitely ensue!
Max
July 23rd, 2008 at 1:16 am [Reply]

MW:“Sometimes it’s the dirty root”

Between “the dirty root” (or perhaps “the dirty route”?) and the “Bum Boat”, I’m thinking that Mary Worth might just be about to devolve into an nautically themed porn, featuring copious amounts of anal sex.

Is it bad that I’m almost hoping that happens? It would at least be more interesting than most of the recent developments.
Mr. Wuxtry
July 23rd, 2008 at 1:16 am [Reply]

A play-by-play wrapup of today’s (and yesterday’s) Jeopardy! can be found at http://tinyurl.com/55cuqs — all the answers, all the questions, wrong guesses, second-guessing on strategy, etc. (but no pictures). The site is called http://www.j-archive.com/ and it seems to be updated by volunteers every day. It even has the results of the year-old reruns seen in many markets.
Vakar
July 23rd, 2008 at 1:34 am [Reply]

But did that Mark guy know “Sisyphus”? That’s right, SISYPHUS, BE-YOTCH! Josh, you get all up in his face with them classics ‘n’ shit.

Really, Josh, It was awesome having someone to root for. You did great, especially seeing what you were up against!
True Fable
July 23rd, 2008 at 1:35 am [Reply]

A3G Margo talking about vulgarity is so hawt!
F Minus GOAT! Fancy Goat!
FBoFW You know, Grampa was a really miserable, grouchy, hateful old cuss long before Iris and the stroke happened to him. Of course, he knew he is responsible for fathering Elly and therefore helping inflict her on the world, and guilt will do that to a man.
FW Les believes that talking about rubbing off is a surefire way to get Lisa to sleep with him.
JP A dozen balls in the bag, and none in his pants. Thus is the sad life of Sam Driver.
MT get ‘er, Cherry! For once she’s not scary.
MW I am by golly going to design a Dirty Root shirt with a Mary Worth motif somehow. Today’s strip is pure platinum.
Mibbitmaker
July 23rd, 2008 at 1:45 am [Reply]

Watching Jeo-pardy (what I sometimes call it, just to be Crankshaftesque)(No, not really) reminded me what it’s been like being a Red Sox fan, pre-2004. It’s like with rooting for someone I believe should win, but some hot shot just walks away with the adulation instead of the better ma– Oh, yeah… actually, that’s what it’s going to be like this election year — and was like in 1980 and ‘84. (If you take this as comparing you to John Anderson, Walter Mondale and John McCain, consider it a compliment)

I mean, you at least had a strong 2nd place. To have had to end up losing as much in the last contest having gained so much, it’s— Well… that’s somewhat like the New England Patriots last season, actually. (MINUS the cheating thing, obviously. Plus, not being a football fan, that wasn’t too big a deal, except — c’mon! A perfect season!!)

Actually, I was lost on the fimal Jeopardy question. Here I thought 20th century world leaders would be a piece of cake for me, but Israel never dawned on me (Duh, Mibbitmaker!). I, too, was thinking Eastern Bloc countries, but nothing specific in my case. And while Ms. Meir was prominent in the early ’70s editorial cartoons I look at all the time (having, among other books and “scrapbooks” of toons, the 1969-72 Oliphant collection book), I never thought of her leadership debut year. The only foreign leader I could think of starting in ‘69 is Kaddaffi! (Nixon wasn’t foreign, Monty Python weren’t leaders, and The Brady Bunch was neither — but all 3 ended temporarily in 1974! Now, there’s your trivia answer, Trebek!)

I wasn’t sure of the buzzer in round one, either. Did they give you Regis’s buzzer?
True Fable
July 23rd, 2008 at 2:03 am [Reply]

I got the final Jeopardy answer right, but then I wasn’t under the pressure of actually playing the game. If I had been playing, I’m sure the category would have been something like, “Feudal Era Japanese Shoguns” or “Chemical Compounds” or “Meat Goat Recipes”, things I just don’t know or in the last case, don’t want to know.
Mr. Barkie
July 23rd, 2008 at 2:06 am [Reply]

Looks to me like Ms. Mary Worth is about to commit an act of knob gobbling. There’s a sentence I never thought I’d write.
Jeff, prepare to have your Bum Boat boarded.
Trotzenbonnie
July 23rd, 2008 at 2:20 am [Reply]

The most action-packed Jeopardy show EVAH!
Josh, I am proud to know you.

But, hey. I thought the state fish of Maryland was crab.
Mibbitmaker
July 23rd, 2008 at 2:35 am [Reply]

Day of the Hump — uh, I mean Wednesday:

9CL: C’mon, Edda — my favorite dog was a cocker spaniel! … Unless she meant a Cocker spaniel. I hear those pooches can belt out a mean “Alittle Help From my Friends”!

Agnes: First panel courtesy of Tom Batiuk.

A3G: Vulgar, thy name is Margo!

DT: What, no obnoxious close-ups? Locher, are you feeling alright*? Hmmm… looks like the editorial cartoonist in him couldn’t resist the topical reference. Locher’s okay after all.

*Another song from a Cocker spaniel!

FOOB: This is why, maybe, Ellie not bothering to see her father much isn’t such a bad thing for ol’ Jim after all.

FW: What, Les? That you’ll never write novels again? If so, then bring Mikey Patterson and Judge Parker with you! Literature can be saved by 3s!

GF: Dingo’s gotta use “interfenestral monkey penetration” somewhere in one of his comics-based stories! It’s too perfect.

MT: Hey, maybe Cherry Trail can punch the villian (Kelly Welly) for once! That’s my vote.

MW: Hey, Yesterday’s 6 Chicks — There’s a tree you can chop down!

MC: These guys are turning into the Mary Worth-Dr. Jeff of the animal kingdom.

Ghost-Who-Chooses-Boat: Stripey & Spidey: Separated at birth?

Popeye: Or Jerry Ford, minus the ego.

S-M: See why you love Scowly McSchikelgruber, Petey? No, not really.

Ziggy: Not long, then?
Shave Ezra
July 23rd, 2008 at 3:28 am [Reply]

Being perhaps the only Israeli reader here, I’m really curious – what was the final Jeopardy answer (you’ve already told me the question…)
The Management
July 23rd, 2008 at 3:39 am [Reply]

I don’t remember it exactly, but the category was World Leaders basically said “Prime Minister in 1969, born in Kiev, PM of a country created in the 20th century.”
athena
July 23rd, 2008 at 3:46 am [Reply]

Can’t wait to read the Jeopardy! recap (I’m in England, where we have to make do with a programme called Eggheads).

As for MW: WHEN THE HELL ARE THEY GOING TO MOVE ON ALREADY?

*ahem* Had to get that off my chest.
kippetje2000
July 23rd, 2008 at 3:58 am [Reply]

I swear to gods, if Mary refers to her “‘rose’ bud” being something that is old new again, I’m going to convulse more than Orson Welles on his deathbed. Is this what old people in place of sex? Please, gods, let a bus hit stike me down today in the street, cause that ain’t anyway I want to go! Orange cheese and shrimp crackers! This storyline makes me want to fade away as quickly as Mrs. Ron. p.s. I scream, you scream, we all scream the “BUM BOAT”.
Dave
July 23rd, 2008 at 4:07 am [Reply]

Marybot 1.0 doesn’t have full functionality of all joints. Version 2.0 will feature improved realistic movement while doing away with more of those pesky emotions. It’s not known for sure but highly suspected that v.3.0 will finally be the one that can simply slaughter all those around her rather than being forced to drive all acquaintances to depression- and alcohol-induced deaths.
A Lemur
July 23rd, 2008 at 4:07 am [Reply]

MW: See, Josh, see? This is how you talk about female genitalia. Women have ‘delicate buds’, men have ‘dirty roots’. Dirty, dirty roots. Filthy, disgusting, evil, degenerate roots that should ever, never, ever be placed in a woman’s ‘most precious possession’ without the bonds of sacred trust, because once you’ve ‘poisoned the well’, the plant dies, or gets root rot, or something.

DT: Not only do we have the triumphant return of the World’s Most Ineffectual SWAT Team, but we also apparently have the world’s most depressive SWAT team member. Seriously, this is the face of a man who’s ‘only reason for living’ just left, cleaned out the bank account (this bank), and whose house has been reposessed by the bank (this bank) is just bareeeeely hanging on. And is now poking the forehead of a bank president with an assault rifle.

Tracy meanwhile runs around waving his tiny little gun. Mary would be so pleased.
Lord-z
July 23rd, 2008 at 5:34 am [Reply]

HTH 22/7: Poor Lucky Eddie. That is the saddest thing I have ever seen in the comics. He seriously looks like he is about to cry. I can only assume that those papers say “Testresult: Positive”.

MW 22/7: Mary has now formally decided: No more sex, ever. And, apparently, she has throught up some cunning plan, in panel 2. Cut third panel: “MUAHAHAHAHAHA!”
Frank Parsnip
July 23rd, 2008 at 5:58 am [Reply]

Sally Forth: Based on that hairstyle, I liked Sally a lot better after she stopped crawling out of television sets to kill people who watched her videotape.

MT: The food chest is open? That’s no proof that Kelly Welly is chasing after animals, it’s proof that Kelly Welly is trying to kill her guides via bear attack.

Mallard Fillmore: Still more goofiness in which as well as I can see it appears that the New York Times might have quoted Rush making up facts about the results of the Pew study. Going to the Pew study, itself, Limbaugh’s listeners are still a point behind NPR listeners and about 4 points behind people who get their news from Jon Stewart.

Funky Pantysniffer: What? No goodbye kiss? Looks like Les will be the one rubbin’ one off in Asimov’s building.

Mary Worth: Jeff: “Sometimes it’s a delicate Georgia O’Keefe painting of an enormous vagina, and sometimes it’s a hairy Frida Kahlo self-portrait.”

GT: Panel 3’s like the Bride of Frankenstein let her hair down at last.

Sex Organ, M.D.: A rock band that practices in a basement space soundproofed with sweaty, infected wrestling mats? I’m guessing they’re a metal band going by the name Mallodor, aiming for a full-on audience experience more towards Smith than Smyth on the Patti smell spectrum.

FC: Yes, Dolly, and mommy’s new underwear was made by three ladies, Polly, Vinyl and Chloride. And her engagement ring was bought from a Serbian jeweler named Kubic Zirconium…

DtM: “Veg-tables”? Oh, that’s right… Dennis is talkin’ cute. Well, “cute” isn’t very fucking menacing, is it!?! Go back and do better, Mister Ketcham. That’s all I have to say. Go now.

A3G: Meanwhile, on the other end of the planet, following on Tenzin’s advice, Eric is thinking that a few bolts of silk and some other exotic Tibetan trinkets made of human bones will suffice to win over his love.

9 Dickweed Lane: Do dancers really shave their chests or do they just go for the wax? Really, I’d like to know what Seth does. Personally, I think that Brookes just draws Seth without chest hair.

Pluggers: Mmmm… Pluggers are fat.
p.
July 23rd, 2008 at 6:21 am [Reply]

I missed Jeopardy, but looking at the play-by-play linked by Mr. Wuxtry above, I love that Josh decided to do the double-minus-one wager. It just seems like something you absolutely have to do if you’re ever on Jeopardy, almost regardless of the situation.
Allison
July 23rd, 2008 at 6:34 am [Reply]

159 – From the previously mentioned J! Archive page for Josh’s episode (due credit to Mr. Wuxtry for first mention of the awesome site), the answer was “Born in Kiev & later a U.S. citizen, this leader became PM in 1969 of a country founded in the 20th century”. To see which people answered – or, rather, questioned – what and the correct responses, hover your mouse over the top of that respective box.
John C Fremont
July 23rd, 2008 at 7:01 am [Reply]

I didn’t even know there were official State Fish!

Ya done good – Proud to call you my Pope! I give yesterday’s performance two thumbs up.

(I haven’t had the heart to delete Tuesday’s Jeopardy from my Tivo yet.)

In other news, Abbey Spencer’s back! And her front!

Also, Mary Worth talks dirty! More on this story as it develops.
Moss_Moses
July 23rd, 2008 at 7:28 am [Reply]

Mary Worth and Doc Jeff are talking about the Bum Boat again, their code word for anal sex. The dirty root is another reference to Jeff’s journey on the Hershey Highway. As for the tender bud, Mary’s bragging about her vagina again…Their special friendship is as special as ever now that they are re-exchanging corny platitudes.
Hogenmogen
July 23rd, 2008 at 7:51 am [Reply]

Yesterday’s JP:
The mention of Bill Clinton and golf reminded me of a joke. Bear with me, here, and no political misinterpretations should be allowed.

Bill Clinton and George HW Bush are golfing for some charity event raising money for Katrina victims or from that Tsunami victims charity or whatever. On the 5th hole, Bill turns to Geo and says “The first thing I’m going to do when I get home is rip Hillary’s panties off.”
The Sr. Mr. Bush brushes off the comment.
On the 9th hole, Bill again exclaims “I can’t wait to get home and rip Hillary’s panties off.”
George merely raises an eyebrow and says “Ok, I heard you the first time.”
On the 17th hole, Bill is growing more excited. “Man, as soon as I get in the door tonight, Hillary’s panties are coming right off!”
George is quite exasperated by now. “Just keep that information to yourself, ok? I don’t want to hear about your wife’s underwear!”

“I can’t help it, they’re riding up in my crotch!”

Ba-dum-boom.
Hogenmogen
July 23rd, 2008 at 8:00 am [Reply]

Rex Moron and his new sidekick, Max: Ok, there are like, five guys in the band. Four are hospitalized for MRSA. Which one isn’t? The one that lives in the same house as the mats. Ok, again, there are five guys in the band, and four are hospitalized for MRSA. Max doesn’t see any possible connection between the bacteria and the fact that they all meet regularly at his house.

Also, given that every Rex adventure ends with the presence of one or several police officers, and he has an adventure virtually every day, don’t you think it would just save some time to assign a cop to track Rex and June’s movements daily? Wherever they go, trouble is certain to follow.
Tracer Bullet
July 23rd, 2008 at 8:16 am [Reply]

At first I thought Margo said she wanted a ring “so big it’s vulvar. I’m not sure what that says about me, or her vulva, but it can’t be anything good.
Whippersnapper
July 23rd, 2008 at 8:28 am [Reply]

Good showing on Jeopardy, Josh!

True Fable- Goat alert! Check out today’s F-, if you haven’t already been alerted to its goatiness.

Foob: Maybe if Elly visited her father once in a while, she’d remember that he suffers from aphasia, not senility.
Terry
July 23rd, 2008 at 8:40 am [Reply]

Hagar the Horrible:

You have to love a doctor who uses the skull of a previous patient as a candle holder. That’s the hallmark of quality care.
Tweeks_Coffee
July 23rd, 2008 at 8:50 am [Reply]

Jeopardy: Nice work, Josh, way to represent! I also like the idea that a bunch of blue hairs may show up to check out the site about their favorite strip; Rex Morgan and promptly be greeted by theories on Sam and Abbey’s sex life.

#4 – Les of the Jungle Patrol: Being turned off by an obvious Succubus hardly makes you a homosexual so don’t worry about that.
#97-Talking Squirrel: D’awwwww! Aren’t they just the cutest, gayest little otters ever!? I certainly hope the quote on that page was a joke.

Okay, now onto the comics…

A3G: Judging by the range of emotions on display here, Margo’s bipolar. It explains a lot really, this comic makes much more sense now. That’s the only reasonable explanation anyone would put up with her in the first place. They all know of her condition and don’t get upset by it. Really they’re all rather caring friends, it’s quite touching. Or she’s drunk, either one really.
DtM: Stupid, FC-level dialogue aside; Alice looks pissed. It’s not like Dennis really said anything bad. Besides, she should be used to this crap by now.
FOOB: Of course you would know this if you had even visited your father within the past year, Elly, but don’t mind me.
FW: Like death? You get plenty of that, Les, no need to go out of your way.
JP: Oh, good show, Judge Parker, good show.
MF: I’m intrigued by the fact that Mallard keeps quoting the NYT article about the study rather than the study itself; who’s results are readily available online and are linked from the NYT article. Did he really not bother looking at the results at all, or is it just that the NYT article says what he wants it to say more than the poll itself?
MW: Speaking of “dirty root”, Jeff spent a lot of his internet time on… never mind.
Phantom: That’s quite a boat, where do you suppose he gets fuel for that thing? (first person to say that they’re on an oil rig gets slapped)
Art Vandelay
July 23rd, 2008 at 8:55 am [Reply]

Is it not Wednesday? Then where the hell is Miss Buxley?!?! Did I sleep through Wednesday and now it’s Thursday?
WonderCat
July 23rd, 2008 at 9:06 am [Reply]

Anybody else out there start their morning by reading the comics, only to have a black pall cast over the entire day by the stomach-churning images conjured up by Mary Worth alluding to love as a “dirty root”? If I thought it would do any good I would be scrubbing my eyes out with borax right now.
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
July 23rd, 2008 at 9:22 am [Reply]

Warning: I haven’t watched Josh on Jeopardy! yet, so in order to avoid seeing spoilers, I’m not reading others’ comments on this thread. So my snark might repeat others’. Apologies in advance for that.

9DQ: “I noticed most of you shave your chests. I don’t. I use Aussie Nads. I just rub Nads all over my chest, my arms, my legs, anywhere else I have hair. I just love Nads…”
“I thought you were straight?”

Agnes: I think many of today’s strips would be improved by having a character echo Trout’s observation from panel 3. Observe…

A3G: Margo: “That will happen when Eric Mills is down on one knee with a diamond so big it’s vulgar!”
Tommie: “Hey! Screaming sounds fun!”

Curtis: I see that teacher Cameltoe McBigtits is back. No, nothing funny to observe, I just like saying “Cameltoe McBigtits.”

(WT)DT: “First, the result of poorly-conceived Reagan-era deregulation combined with rampant speculation during a period of overinflated property values and ill-advised relaxation of credit standards in pursuit of a fast buck, and now an incipient bloody gunbattle in my bank lobby! I need to have a lie-down. Or… Hey! Screaming sounds fun!”

EC: And now, the whole B&B is going to be able to hear how much you love each other, because… all together now… “Hey! Screaming sounds fun!”

FC: Thel’s checking out her own ass.

FW: “Les, if you want me to rub you off, I’m not doing it in the lobby.”
“Hey! Screaming sounds fun!”

GA: You’d be clumsy, too, if you suddenly grew to 18 feet tall.

thorps. What does “His mom might not need a plane to get there” mean? She’s a train-hopping hobo? She’s already there as part of her job running drugs for the mob? She’s a mutant teleporter? She uses a ouija board to astral-project? I don’t get it.

JP: The dialogue in this strip is just getting dirtier and dirtier.

Big Dog: Takes the makes-NO-fucking-sense-at-all award for the week, and maybe the millennium.

MW: Give it up, Jeff. You can’t out-platitude Mary.

Take 2: “Oh? And just who is this tender Bud you’ve been seeing? Some county commissioner, no doubt!”

Take 3: Please, Mary, I’m begging you. Stop talking about Jeff’s dirty root, at least in public.

Take 4: “Hey! Screaming sounds fun!”

Monty: Th-that’s not coffee grounds! *hurl*

MC: I am inordinately proud that Ed Power saw fit to use my idea.

Pluggers: Ha ha! #2! (Seriously, Broookins. Get a new schtick.)

Zits: I still wanna know, what happened to Viral?!
man behind the curtain
July 23rd, 2008 at 9:22 am [Reply]

JEOPARDY — You did good Josh, In it until the bitter end. But missing Golda Meir, the founding member of the Charterstone Kibbutz? Oy vey! And how could not get the rockfish/striped bass question? But I can’t pick nits as I can only imagine how hard it is.

A3G — Down on one knee? After his ill-advised use of the hotel phone, Eric will probably be down on both knees, or worse, in a Chinese prison.

MW — Dr. Jeff’s thinking he could use a little “tender bud” about now.
jwer
July 23rd, 2008 at 9:26 am [Reply]

Josh, as a fellow Baltimorean, I was REALLY REALLY hoping you would sacrifice some money and answer “Lake Trout” on the Rockfish question.

Also, if you haven’t read it, you should totally read Bob Harris’ “Prisoner of Trebekistan”.
Gypsymoth
July 23rd, 2008 at 9:28 am [Reply]

Popeye: “Bonkus of the Konkus” is probably why I continue to read Popeye.
man behind the curtain
July 23rd, 2008 at 9:28 am [Reply]

A3G BTW from this site

http://www.tibet.ca/en/newsroom/wtn/archive/old?y=2004&m=3&p=30_2

“There’s a huge sense of being uprooted among young people,” says 24-year-old Tenzin Choklay, the maker of ‘Beauty and the Beast: A Search for Miss Tibet’, a short documentary on the first Miss Tibet contest last year and the ensuing year. “They’re not Indian enough, they’ve never been to Tibet, they look Tibetan, they don’t have Indian accents, but they live in India.”
Barbara P
July 23rd, 2008 at 9:29 am [Reply]

My 9 year-old daughter and I watched Jeopardy last night and we were both rooting for you. When it was over, this is how she imagined things went afterwards:

Alex: Well, Here’s your $1.
Josh: Thanks! (skips away) oh look… a snack machine!
Jude
July 23rd, 2008 at 9:30 am [Reply]

Cleats: Ummm, err, ummm. How on earth did THIS get printed?
Muffaroo Wuffaroo
July 23rd, 2008 at 9:40 am [Reply]

Barbara P @184 – Your daughter has The Right Stuff.
The Divine O’F
July 23rd, 2008 at 9:45 am [Reply]

Josh: congratulations! I know how hard it is to even get on Jeopardy, having washed out in the trials, and imagine it must be monumentally difficult to remember arcane facts under the pressure of actually BEING there, in the glare of the lights and having to be dressed up and all. Anyway, you came across as INCREDIBLY INTELLIGENT. The guy who won was just one of those guys they get from time to time who always win.

And re Mary Worth: the last few days have, to me, been hilarious. I think I-Girl is right, that it is a platitude contest to the death. Actually, I think Karen Moy is just seeing how long she can keep it up. And this has to be a shout-out to us. I think.
goldamarlin
July 23rd, 2008 at 9:46 am [Reply]

181: A little late for Josh to read Trebekistan, sadly. Or Ken Jennings’s book (though Trebekistan is better for prep). If only we’d known he was going to be on Jeopardy before the taping!

And seriously, no one’s made a “Josh takes too many vacations” joke yet in reference to his using frequent flyer miles to go to LA?
Artist formerly known as Ben
July 23rd, 2008 at 9:46 am [Reply]

7/23

RMMD: Sometimes when Max gets nervous he likes to stick his hands under his arms and sniff his fingers, like this.

JP: Whose balls does Sam plan to hit, anyway? Maybe junior partner Steve? Hope he doesn’t have a date with Gloria tonight.

MT: Too late, Max realizes that there is nothing bumbling or anthropomorphic about this owl. He should never have separated from Slylock and wandered into the Lost Forest.

Luann: If Brad is actually surprised by TJ shifting blame, I’ve been underestimating his capacity for being stupid.

9CL: I know hairy chests. I have a hairy chest. I do not see any such chest in today’s 9chick. Either Brooke is a little confused, or he doesn’t think his audience can handle the sheer masculine hirsuteness.

BB: Gizmo overloads as Blips superimposes herself over the HighElfGirl porn he had been surfing.

H&J: Sarah’s ability to know what Herb is saying halfway across town is an avenue that will sadly remain unexplored, I fear.

S4th: I’d like to know if Sally kept up with the peppiness and the REM through the delivery.

MW: Jeff seems to perceive something icky in Mary’s tree metaphor. Either that or he’s caught a case of food poisoning, the kind that gives the Bum Boat its name.

Cathy: Monday we saw the incredible two-headed Irving. Today, it’s a mid-sixties girl group made up of Irvings. It’s like hallucinating, and still being bored.

6C: That sun ain’t rising. It’s getting ready to swallow up the planet. Doomed, I tell you!

FC: You’re a little confused, Dolly. Polly and Esther are what Thel has nicknamed her breasts.

Phantom: So the plan is to take the loopy Katrina survivor out a few hundred yards, then drown him? That’s real nice, Ghost.

DT: Fashion tip: If it’s the element of surprise you’re looking for, the rifle and SWAT cap may be the wrong accessories to bring to this party.

FW: OHIO ENGLISH TEACHER SHOT BY DOORMAN!–Friend says deluded man hoping to be “rubbed” by deceased science fiction writer
AtomicDog
July 23rd, 2008 at 9:57 am [Reply]

Six Chix: Sunrise on Mercury.
Matt Algren
July 23rd, 2008 at 9:59 am [Reply]

Regarding Wednesday’s FOOB.

STOP TALKING TO HIM LIKE HE’S A BABY!

The ONLY way this story can end acceptably is if Grandpa finally dies, comes back as a zombie, and murders the entire stupid family.
Artist formerly known as Ben
July 23rd, 2008 at 10:00 am [Reply]

A3G: For Margo, it is the size of the rock that counts.

Big Dog: The plant worker who fell into the meat grinder suffers a grisly fate, only one sneaker left intact. Family of four, plus ravenous mutant dog, amused.
Muffaroo Wuffaroo
July 23rd, 2008 at 10:01 am [Reply]

Formerly Ben @189 – Maybe the dancing otter in 9CL has chest hair like the growth on the top back of my head, where it feels like normal hair, but it’s apparently flesh colored. Warmth without dignity.

As to being rubbed by Asimov, all it took in the old days was being a cute female at a convention.
Sequitur
July 23rd, 2008 at 10:06 am [Reply]

I bet when the ratings come out they’ll find that Tuesday’s Jeopardy! scored big time.

Josh, you did yourself proud. You didn’t blurt out “FOOB” at any time. Even Ken Jennings screwed up on a final jeopardy that was much easier than yours.
gah
July 23rd, 2008 at 10:06 am [Reply]

ALMOST ALL SOAP OPERA COMICS. BLECH! THEY AREN’T WORTH READING TO READ YOUR COMMENTS. :-(

MORE FUNNIES, PLZ!!!
Stupendous Girl
July 23rd, 2008 at 10:12 am [Reply]

Would that I had heeded Josh’s earthly warning about some markets airing two episodes of Jeopardy a night, and tuned into the new 7:30 episode instead of the 9:30 Summer Teen Tournament episode, I would not have been deprived of the Curmudgeonly awesomeness. :( A pox on thee, Channel 38!!

MW: What girl wouldn’t leap at the chance to bend coyly at the waist for hunky Dr. Jeff? His seafoam green shirt draped over his pudgy slumping shoulders…a tiny tuft of man sweater peeking out from his undershirt…a few strands of combover breaking free of their Pomade prison and flapping rakishly in the breeze…take me, you nonthreatening stallion!!

……I think I just threw up in my mouth. Just a little.
Calico
July 23rd, 2008 at 10:17 am [Reply]

Congrats Josh! My partner watched the show with me and we had fun. I actually knew quite a few answers – some nights I don’t know anyyyyything.

I’m sure Chennux watched too and would like for you to buy him lots and lots of poatoes with your $1K! (Better throw in some syrup too so he doesn’t get cranky)

It was fun to watch and you looked very spiffy.
Well done.
ConcreteQueen
July 23rd, 2008 at 10:18 am [Reply]

Maybe the waist is the only place Mary is jointed. Have some sympathy, people. At least she’s trying to pass for human.
Calico
July 23rd, 2008 at 10:19 am [Reply]

MW – But Mary, there are thorns on a rose plant too. Just a friendly reminder.

3G – Cart before the horse, eh, Margo?
Calico
July 23rd, 2008 at 10:20 am [Reply]

#198 – As with the Tin Man, Mary’s joints need a serious oiling, unlike Jeff’s hair.
Lake Eerie
July 23rd, 2008 at 10:25 am [Reply]

MF – Hmmm, still don’t care. Why don’t you tell us again tomorrow, Ducky?
SM – I see the newspaper business is really hurting. Is the Bugle really that short-staffed that a major story needs to be covered by the editor-in-chief and apparently the only freelance photographer? Is Robbie Robertson handling ad sales and covering the A-Rod scandal and the Giants’ trade of their tight end? Perhaps it’s time to give in to Rupert Murdoch’s overtures to take over.
JP – If they’re going to contine with this bee-grinding, might as well do it with Abby in that tight black shirt.
Phantom – That’s right, don’t listen to your wife (though I’ll lay even odds she’s right). You show the world you’re not whipped, like certain masked superheroes found in New York.
PBS – Pastis really can mine some laughs from hoary old cliches. It’s all in the execution.
FBOFW – I would say scenes like this are among the more realistic. I’m not sure Johnston realizes how much of an annoying harridan she makes Elly out to be (Thank you, Captain Obvious. While you’re here, say hello to Lt. Transparent and Cpl. Blatant)
Quix
July 23rd, 2008 at 10:26 am [Reply]

Abby’s fondling Sam’s club and Mary is discussing Jeff’s “dirty root.” I just had a shivering fit. Or was it the fivering shits??
Calico
July 23rd, 2008 at 10:27 am [Reply]

#170 – Delightfully dirty as usual, Moss. Keep up the good work.

The Tender Bud could also mean the huge spliff of fresh chronic that Mary has waiting back at her apartment, along with coffee and cake and some very very stoned-out platitudes.
AMC
July 23rd, 2008 at 10:29 am [Reply]

The comics are a little off-color today. Les is going to rub one off in a hotel lobby, while Mary Worth is teasing the Doc with talk of her tender bud and her interest in some dirty hugga-my-root action.

Hilarious national celebacy will ensue.
dimestore lipstick
July 23rd, 2008 at 10:34 am [Reply]

Note to self–
The “rule of Cathy”–if a finger is in the air, avoid at all costs–also extends to Irving.
sangwij
July 23rd, 2008 at 10:47 am [Reply]

MW: Oh my dear God. “The dirty root. The tender bud.” Epic porn.
spike
July 23rd, 2008 at 10:57 am [Reply]

MW: Face it, folks. It’s Wednesday. The platitude-a-thon can last until Saturday. Just wondering which of the two will start the Dorothy Parkerism “You can lead a horse to water..”

#179: Spider-Brick: Yeah, I’ve been wondering about Viral, too
PeteMoss
July 23rd, 2008 at 10:59 am [Reply]

Josh, great job on the Jeopardy last night! I loved it when you went for broke there at the end and bet it all! Guts! You looked at that catogory and said, “what the [Margo], I’m going for it.” Too bad the answer was “Who is Golda Meir.” (I was tossed between her and Indira Ghandi.) Still, it was your steely resolve and fearlessness that really impressed. Wow. I’d be careful playing poker against you, my man.
Occipital Lobe
July 23rd, 2008 at 11:08 am [Reply]

#208: Indira Ghandi was born in Kiev? Who knew?
Calico
July 23rd, 2008 at 11:10 am [Reply]

Golda was born in Kiev.
Uncle Lumpy
July 23rd, 2008 at 11:13 am [Reply]

Also, Josh –

Killer tie. Your choice? Amber’s? That nice young man from Wardrobe?
Laska
July 23rd, 2008 at 11:14 am [Reply]

As frightened as I was by that Mary Worth, it was far scarier in black and white in my daily newspaper.
PeteMoss
July 23rd, 2008 at 11:21 am [Reply]

#209 Occipital Lobe, yeah, well…maybe her parents went there for the chicken and stayed for the…eh…cross country skiing. I dunno.
sMirk
July 23rd, 2008 at 11:24 am [Reply]

A3G narrator: MORE or LESS useful than Grandfather Foob?
Uncle Lumpy
July 23rd, 2008 at 11:28 am [Reply]

#209 Occipital Lobe –

Indira Ghandi, Golda Meir, and Benazir Bhutto grew up together in Kiev, fighting crime as a team of costumed superheroines under the direction of Nikolai Tesla. This is widely known.
Joe, the Upper-Evergreen Guy
July 23rd, 2008 at 11:29 am [Reply]

MW: “Dirty Root”? Hey Mary, what about the “Dirty Sanchez”?

FOOB: We get Grandpa’s impersonation of Meg Ryan in “When Harry Met Sally”.
Sequitur
July 23rd, 2008 at 11:29 am [Reply]

I think Indira Ghandi was born in Delhi. You can get a good chicken sandwich in a Delhi.
cheech wizard
July 23rd, 2008 at 11:31 am [Reply]

FC – Thel has either turned into Linda Blair or a Barbie doll – although the latter would explain why Bil has no penis.

FW – Les is hoping something will rub off by hanging around in the lobby of Asimov’s old apartment building? Better luck leaning up against the grimy bricks outside.

MW – I would really prefer it if Mary would keep her flowery descriptions of her aging private parts to herself. And how many drinks did Jeff have on the boat? He’s clearly blotto in Panel 2.
Josh
July 23rd, 2008 at 11:35 am [Reply]

#211 UL — Glad you liked it! It was a birthday present from Amber, which I never get to wear, seeing as most days I work at home in my pajamas. Everyone on the show up to and including Alex T. said nice things about it.

One of the things that I regret about not winning (right after the money and the glory) is that I didn’t get a chance to wear any of my other nice ties on TV, since I never get to wear them anywhere else unless someone gets married or dies.

Josh
cheech wizard
July 23rd, 2008 at 11:35 am [Reply]

14/ Rusty – The homoerotic golf match was Rex Morgan and his pal, whose name I forget. However, Sam did engage in a golf match a few years back (under the previous artist and writer) with a few well-off ne’r-do-wells who had either inherited or married into their money, and spent all their time at the club, drinking, playing cards and golf. They ragged on him constantly about his poor golf game, but he eventually unmanned them all by demonstrating he was a productive member of society or some crap like that.
Niall
July 23rd, 2008 at 11:40 am [Reply]

I was unable to find a place that has cable to watch J! last night. Oh well.

119. mollificent: if that’s all it takes to make your redheaded heart all a-pitter, I can record many comics’ titles in a deep, ponderous voice if you want. ;)

136. Josh: (about suffrag”ettes”) Really? Up here in Canada, the women famous for getting the woment eh vote were definitely called, and still are called, suffragettes, without any demeaning quality to it – they were women, campaigning for equality for women. It’s a French word, anyway. :) Then again, considering how we follow a lot of the British political system…

138. bats :[ : it’s standard procedure for any contestant on every game show, I believe. Some might have a preferential rate on a hotel mentioned in the end credits, but usually you get there on your own means. If you can’t afford going there, don’t try out.

151. Mr. Wuxtry: thank you for the link to the j-archive! Though the link to the questions instead of the answers would have been more fun to play along. :) Of course, that doesn’t give us what Josh looks and sounds like…

Wow, it’s been a while since I saw Jeopardy – when did they start having $200-$1000 as the first round values? And the questions are all much tougher – understandably so. I wouldn’t stand a chance.

166. Frank Parsnip: on FC: I remember a couple of weeks ago being agog at the tuck shop at work, which had for sale something labelled as “genuine Cubic Zirconium”. My brain, it hurt!

176. Tweeks: on MF: he’s allowed to quote from whatever source, as long as he quotes the source, which he does, especially if said quotes goes with his views. Nothing wrong or particularly reprehensible there. What we can snark about is Tinsley getting the easily-verifiable print date wrong…

179. Spider-Brick: on MC: I don’t know what Ed and Melissa’s lead times are, but I think it’s more than two months… meaning less they used your idea and more that you and Ed are thinking on the same lines. :)

And now.. cue new thread! :)
Comcis Fan
July 23rd, 2008 at 11:43 am [Reply]

Re #216, foob, funny!
commodorejohn
July 23rd, 2008 at 11:47 am [Reply]

9CL – Say, Brooke, you do realize that the light in a refrigerator goes on as you open it, right?

A3G – hahaha hahahaha HAHAHAHA HAHA YES HAHAHA MARGO HAHAHAHA ERIC HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA DIAMOND HAHAHAHA HONEYMOON *falls over laughing*

BC – Whatever this is (some kind of therapsid? I dunno, it’s been a while since I was eight years old and surrounded by dinosaur books,) it’s nice to see Mason broadening out.

BB – Why the hell are you looking intimidated, man? Are you afraid of human sexuality? What the hell kind of nerd are you?

BS – Hey, Fable! Goat alert!

Crankshaft – First off, PHYSICS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY. Second, I find it amusing that, faced with the dilemma of drawing an animal in closeup, Batiuk chooses to pretty much just draw Ed Crankshaft and rough up the edges to suggest fur.

Curtis – Wow. Are we meant to infer that this is some sort of giant Barbie golem, or did Ray Billingsley just forget to add all the lines that would suggest any kind of vaguely breast-like shapes to the projection of her chest? ‘Cause it just looks like a homogenous mass of flesh. Not to mention that ASSES DO NOT WORK THAT WAY. Cripes, I can draw sexier women than this.

DTM – THIS. IS. NOT. MENACING.

FC – “Mommy’s new neck was made by a demon named Pazuzu!”

FOOB – “Oh, by the way, Dad, you do realize that I think you’re a vegetable, right? And that I’m doing you a huge favor simply by gracing you with my presence?” “No! No! BOXCAR!”

FW – “Meanwhile, you just remain a disembodied head, okay?”

GA – WILL THIS DAMN THING JUST END ALREADY

GT – “His mom might not need a plane to get there! She’ll use her bruja powers to fly over on a broom! Or just flap her arms!”

HTH – Fun game: guess what word was substituted with “lawyer” in the sentence “whatever happened to that high-priced lawyer who promised to get you off?”

H&L – That’s right! Just because you were a comical, crude simulacrum of a living creature even before you were torn, battered, and left for the wanton amusement of the spawn of greater creatures doesn’t mean you can’t turn that frown upside-down!

JP – Nice try, Judge Parker, but we’ve been faked out too many times to believe that intercourse is going to happen between these two.

Luann – Remember, boys and girls, sexual harassment only works one way!

MF – Gee, I wonder what topic Tinsley is going to be talking about all fucking week?

MW – Haha, “tender bud.” Haha, “dirty root.” Seriously, Moy, you’re baiting us, right?

Zits – So…I was out of the loop with this strip for a while, and whatever happened to Sarah? You know, Jeremy’s actual girlfriend who was (by Zits standards, anyway) a fairly likeable character who did not look like the lovechild of the Joker and Bride of Chucky?
Sully
July 23rd, 2008 at 11:49 am [Reply]

“Mistakes were made.”

Hell yeah, like wasting 3 seconds of my life reading that strip.
Christ on a bicycle! How does such mind-numbing dreck continue to be produced, let alone printed?!
D.A. Pennington
July 23rd, 2008 at 11:53 am [Reply]

Today’s FOOB: Elly, when taking care of your Dad just remember, “Boxcar!” means I got a load in my Depends.
Lolsworth
July 23rd, 2008 at 11:57 am [Reply]

FC: Thel didn’t die after all, she took Isabella Rossellini’s immortality potion!
Silvertongue
July 23rd, 2008 at 11:58 am [Reply]

OK, long-time reader, first-time poster, blah blah blah…but Josh, congratulations on making it to Jeopardy! From someone who’s auditioned three times, I know how tough the auditions can be! I haven’t been reading as religiously as I should lately, so when I saw you on last night, it was a surprise to me (and a surprise to my roommate, as well, who had to hear me screaming, THAT’S JOSH! FROM THE COMICS CURMUDGEON! AND HE’S SO SMART!) I cussed Alex out for his snotty tone with you a number of times, just so you know…and that guy who won? Jeopardy automaton. I was so sad you were up against him. He shows no emotions. I’m fairly sure he’s a robot. And no one can beat a robot! So congratulations, and yay, you!
Dicky
July 23rd, 2008 at 12:03 pm [Reply]

9CL: Show, don’t tell, McEldowney! Claudio’s chest, which has been pretty much apparent for every strip he’s been existent, is as clean as Seth’s. If he’s going to claim natural chest hair of a degree such that it can be described as “hairy,” then show it to us already!

Agnes: At least she’s honest about it, unlike Funky Winkerbean.

FC: It appears as though Thel is an owl-human hybrid.

MC: Bridget’s face in the third panel is a little too nondescript for that line. A little more sadism in her face would make that line just pop.

The Meaning of Lila: Boyd, using that horribly old joke might be just enough to take your gay card away. The correct reasoning is a powerpoint presentation on the myriad benefits and responsibilities afforded by marriage at all levels of government from local to federal, which coincidentally might have been more hilarious to watch how it was portrayed in comic strip form. A pair of glasses with a pointer in front of a screen could be ever so hot.
Jeffsterr
July 23rd, 2008 at 12:04 pm [Reply]

Great job on Jeopardy, Josh. If you’re not going to win, at least you better properly in final. You went for it. Mark must have been super fast on the buzzer. Sonambulism is a GA word afterall! BTW did the podium reek from Dan on the previous day? I mean he pulled his suit out of a dumpster and didn’t clean it. He could be from GA. I watch Jeopardy nightly with my wife who doesn’t read this blog and you did me a solid. Congrats for not looking like an idiot on national television.
Jesse Cline
July 23rd, 2008 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

B.C. actually made me chuckle today. I feel so dirty…
Jeffsterr
July 23rd, 2008 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

somnambulism I mean. I can’t spell.
Bootsy
July 23rd, 2008 at 12:20 pm [Reply]

Hi silvertongue! The nametags are over there, and cookies and punch over there.

Josh, I yelled at the otehr contestants yesterday, and not you. I was proud of you that you made it!
Jaime M.
July 23rd, 2008 at 12:22 pm [Reply]

JP: You know what? I don’t need your pity set-ups. I’ll do just fine on my own. I’m funny!
Professor Fate
July 23rd, 2008 at 12:23 pm [Reply]

FW – I’m off to rub up against the lobby walls of the building a writer died in – if that’s too creepy i can keep talking about my dead wife some more.

FOOB: I think when gramps finally says a complete sentance its going to be “LEAVE ME ALONE YOU ($#$)@@!!!!!!”
TGrum
July 23rd, 2008 at 12:28 pm [Reply]

Re: recycled Blondie jokes. I could swear that the story line of last week’s “Stone Soup,” where the younger girl is given some of her sister’s chores to earn money, and then pays the sister a “finder’s fee” was the exact same thing they did last year around this time.
commodorejohn
July 23rd, 2008 at 12:29 pm [Reply]

Okay, this thing in Luann is really bugging the hell out of me, and the only apparent way to contact Greg Evans (the link on the comics.com Luann page) is broken, so I’m just going to post this here instead. Because some days, you just gotta vent.

An Open Letter To Greg Evans

So…what’s the message here (”here” being Luann of Wednesday, July 23rd, 2008?) That sexual harassment only works one way? That it’s okay for women to do it, but not men? That a teenage girl insinuating a quasi-sexual relationship with a man (apparently) in his twenties (easy fodder for accusations of statutory rape) is all fun and games, and it’s only his calling her bluff (in the most absurdly roundabout fashion imaginable) that’s unacceptable? That’s appalling.

Luann is playing a game that could easily wind up ruining TJ’s life, just to get some petty high-school-bitch digs at a classmate she doesn’t like, but it’s only TJ who gets called on his (comparatively mild) shenanigans? Mr. Evans, this is not acceptable. Not acceptable at all.
Perky Bird
July 23rd, 2008 at 1:10 pm [Reply]

Dennis the Menace: “Would you like to stay for dinner? You can have my dirty root…veg-etables.”

Now that’s menacing!
mere cog in the machine
July 23rd, 2008 at 1:12 pm [Reply]

236: Luann is a saucy little morsel in dire need of a good spanking. A good, firm spanking, indeed!

Er, did I just post that out loud?
Sequitur
July 23rd, 2008 at 1:17 pm [Reply]

Yes, it’s veg-tables day:
http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComic.mpl?date=2008/7/23&name=One_Big_Happy

Except here:
http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComic.mpl?date=2008/7/23&name=The_Other_Coast
Hogenmogen
July 23rd, 2008 at 1:50 pm [Reply]

Stripey Ass: This dude is crazy? Who’s the one leaving his wife alone on an oil rig with a broken plane? Who’s the one running around in spandex catsuit and a Speedo over it?

With a shred of luck Andre the Giant will mistake Jeff & Mary’s little dingy as “the enemy”. The two septugenarians will be sunk in shark infested waters and die terrible deaths as Phantom just assumes it’s all one of Andre’s hallucinations.

And speaking of our two lovelorn seniors, who will never ever ever experience the rough, sodden joys up drunken make-up-sex, Jeff has been out plattituded. “Not every relationship is a bed of roses.” Then Mary uses her enormous wealth of banalites to prove that in fact, relationships ARE like beds of roses. Desperate, Jeff clings to one last recourse.
“Every rose has it’s thorn, Mary. Every night has it’s dawn… Mary. Every cowboy sings his sad, sad song. Every rose has it’s thorn… uh, Mary.”
Hogenmogen
July 23rd, 2008 at 1:51 pm [Reply]

#239 – Sequitur – And the vegetable in FBOFW?

Grandpa Jim!
Deena in OR
July 23rd, 2008 at 1:52 pm [Reply]

What, no FC snark on Hurricane Dolly?
Hogenmogen
July 23rd, 2008 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

Malice Fartmore: Yah, but were Rush listeners more aware that he used to purchase illegal drugs from his immigrant housekeeper? Oh, they missed that one? I see.
Hogenmogen
July 23rd, 2008 at 2:04 pm [Reply]

Funky: Les, you can’t get Asimov’s vibes from just standing in the lobby. You have to actually go into his old apartment. Then you must strip yourself naked and begin to lick the floor of the bedroom where his bed used to be. Only then can you feed off the essence of greatness. If it doesn’t work, you might get arrested for breaking & entering, indecent exposure and lewd conduct. Then you’d have something to write about, you BORING LOSER.
Braniff
July 23rd, 2008 at 2:06 pm [Reply]

242–I can’t resist this hypothetical FC cartoon:

“Who stormed through the Rio valley?”
“Not me” “Ida know”

“Why did they name a hurricane after Dolly?” asked Jeffy. “Because if they named it after you, me or PJ, it’d be a HIM-A-CANE”, replied Billy
prospero
July 23rd, 2008 at 2:08 pm [Reply]

Mary Worth: Quoting obscure James Brown? Get down Jeff, feel like doin’ the Dirty Root. Huh! Take me to the bridge, Maceo.
Hogenmogen
July 23rd, 2008 at 2:15 pm [Reply]

The food chest is open and that should answer my question – Kelly Welly is a closet junk food junkie!
Vakar
July 23rd, 2008 at 2:24 pm [Reply]

MW: Dr. Jeff thought balloon: “Dirty root, what the hell? I had a break from the damn platitudes and crazy metaphors. What was I thinking? I’d better accuse her of something– anything, fast!”

MT: Wait– it answers the question, “Where did that woman disappear to?” Kelly turned herself into food and neatly put herself in the chest, only forgetting to close the lid?

FW: Stalking the dead: another crime Batuik must answer for.

JP: Sam, you look a bit scared that your wife might be coming on to you. It’ll be okay, just pretend she’s Rex Morgan.

A3G: Time for Celebrity Metamorphosis, starring Tommie! In panel ___, she looks like ___.
1; Rep. Nancy Boyda (D-KS)
2; Lucille Ball, in her movie starlet days
3; Florence Henderson, post-Brady Bunch

Boffo: I’m giving this strip a trial run. And… uh… He’s scared that he’ll be mugged by Happiness and Security? Both? Wha?

Finally, it wasn’t until yesterday that I realized that I have been pulled down into the seedy world of soap-opera comics. Josh drew so many in with the gateway drug of snark. People! Think of all the time we’ve spent on Mary Worth, instead of… of… uh…
mere cog in the machine
July 23rd, 2008 at 2:46 pm [Reply]

Foob: I love the fact that in every panel Dee appears in, she is either washing dishes, cleaning up snot, hovering uncertainly behind the testosterone-challenged limp-wristed hack masquerading as a husband, holding up Princess Liz’s hem with a mouth full of pins, etc., etc. She has been relegated to position of Thankless Drudge; fit only to serve as a soft, yielding vessel for the precious Patterson Sperm and to clean up babyshit. Don’t be surprised if she starts spoting a kerchief and addressing everyone as “suh” or ma’am. Come to think of it, even the arrogant diminution of her given name has the bitter tang of Patterson arrogance and narcissism to it. Perhaps one day after unclogging the Patterson Bowl after a lethal combination of Grampa’s stools and April’s tampons she will finally snap and sink a carving fork into Elly’s disgustingly nacreous abdomen. If only.
Smarmy Duke
July 23rd, 2008 at 2:51 pm [Reply]

Why does Dr. Zook dress like a Sith Lord?

Jeff, Eric and Sam…aren’t they all the same character, really?
man behind the curtain
July 23rd, 2008 at 2:53 pm [Reply]

LuAnn — LuAnn needs to be confronted. Aaron Hill, Gunther, Ben York, TJ. LuAnn, you are the school slut.
commodorejohn
July 23rd, 2008 at 3:09 pm [Reply]

#249 mere cog in the machine –

And Ehud put forth his left hand, and took the dagger from his right thigh, and thrust it into his belly. And the haft also went in after the blade; and the fat closed upon the blade, so that he could not draw the dagger out of his belly; and the dirt came out.

Judges 3:21-22
LITTLE A. OF THE GRAND CONCOURSE JUNGLE PATROL
July 23rd, 2008 at 3:17 pm [Reply]

After thinking about it for six months, I converted to Catholic — do you all know how difficult this was for a Jewish boy from The Bronx? — my mother is rolling in her grave! — and that hot Christian Singles babe is no where to be seen! Did anybody write her email address down?
Josh
July 23rd, 2008 at 3:22 pm [Reply]

Re: Stanford Dan, groovy hippie contestant from Monday’s show: the thing about not having cleaned his suit was a joke. He was really nice and smelled terrific.

(Side note: they film five shows a day, so Monday’s show, which Dan was on, was finished filming ten minutes before Tuesday’s show, which I was on, started.)

Josh
commodorejohn
July 23rd, 2008 at 3:23 pm [Reply]

#253 Little A. – Sorry to disappoint you, but the babes like CSG are usually Pentecostal (or, more rarely, Baptist,) not Catholic. Except for the Burbers, who are fictional.
Artist formerly known as Ben
July 23rd, 2008 at 3:25 pm [Reply]

#193 Muffaroo,
That explains why sexual harassment isn’t covered by the Three Laws of Robotics.
mere cog in the machine
July 23rd, 2008 at 3:30 pm [Reply]

254: A friend who appeared on Jeopardy years ago told me that Alex Trebek was somewhat cold and distant toward the contestants. Did you find this to be true, or did he simply ooze Cold Canadian Charm?
Spotted HØrse, Jungle Steed
July 23rd, 2008 at 3:33 pm [Reply]

#150 Max:

Between “the dirty root” (or perhaps “the dirty route”?) and the “Bum Boat”, I’m thinking that Mary Worth might just be about to devolve into an nautically themed porn, featuring copious amounts of anal sex.

Yup, I’m sure you’re right. I think Mary and the good doctor are about to embark on many weeknights’ worth of “The Cap’n and the Cabin Boy” role play. By Saturday, they’ll switch to Bunkhouse shenanigans.

#253 Little A. of the Grand Concourse Jungle Patrol: Don’t give up, my brother! CSG is out there, and I’m sure you’ll encounter each other in a Capra-esque moment.
bats :[
July 23rd, 2008 at 3:33 pm [Reply]

249. mere cog: it would be nice to occasionally see Dee in her work environment, as a pharmacist. Considering that she can’t fathom the intricacies of birth control (”oops!” and two years later, “oops again!”), however, she’s probably a pretty crappy pharmacist.
Uncle Lumpy
July 23rd, 2008 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

#254 Josh –

. . . they film five shows a day. . . .

So you bring a change of clothes in case you win?
UncleJeff
July 23rd, 2008 at 3:38 pm [Reply]

245 Braniff: Don’t tempt the Family Keane. They might use that line.

Josh: Congratulations on your “Jeopardy” appearance.
The only time I was on a TV game show was on a high school quiz show many years ago. The 3rd time that my little light went on showing I buzzed in first only to have the “quizmaster” call on the other team to answer the question, the director of the show gave me a great close-up and you could hear my teammate say “Jeff, what the hell is going on?” I cupped my hand over my mic and all the lipreaders in the audience could understand me saying “We’re getting MARGOBOXCARSATURN”
Our school has never been invited back to the show..
Anonymous
July 23rd, 2008 at 3:51 pm [Reply]

commodorejohn–

I do think that Luann and TJ should be held to different standards, not because of gender differences, but age differences. She’s still a teenager, an immature one at that, who’s still struggling to figure out relationships and men. TJ is an adult (he is, right? I mean, his age is never stated in the strip, but I always figured he was in his early 20s) and should know better, and understand that sexual advances toward a 16 year old are sketchy and weird.
Sequitur
July 23rd, 2008 at 3:54 pm [Reply]

I read Ken Jennings book about his experience with Jeopardy! (actually it was more about trivia with sidelights into the show). He indicated that Alex has to remain somewhat aloof with the contestents since there cannot be any trace of impropriety or collusion between the staff of the show and the contestents (remember the game show scandals in the 1950’s). Ken said that when he finally lost and finished his run, Alex was a lot warmer and friendlier toward him.
mere cog in the machine
July 23rd, 2008 at 3:55 pm [Reply]

262: Teenager, Schmeenanger; she was FLIRTIN’ with him for Chrissakes! Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go change my Wifebeater and crack open a fresh can of Iron City. $%@*& liberal creeps!
mere cog in the machine
July 23rd, 2008 at 3:56 pm [Reply]

263: That makes sense.
commodorejohn
July 23rd, 2008 at 4:02 pm [Reply]

#262 Anonymous – In a situation dealing solely with general teenage bitchiness, I would agree, but insinuating an illegal relationship with an innocent man, with the potential consequence of fucking up his entire life, is a whole different kettle of ballgame.
Occipital Lobe
July 23rd, 2008 at 4:14 pm [Reply]

#251: “School slut”? No, no, no. Remember how to tell the difference: A slut will sleep with anybody. A bitch, on the other hand, will sleep with anybody but you.

Clearly, the four guys you named are the ones she has cockteased with only a vague promise of passionate, MW-worthy canoodling. Meanwhile, the entire football team (and probably the women’s basketball team as well) goes home with a smile every weekend …
Little Guy
July 23rd, 2008 at 4:20 pm [Reply]

Luann: Hey, Greg Evans, if we had to watch out for ‘hurtful’ comments, Pope Josh would be blogless.
lesles
July 23rd, 2008 at 4:21 pm [Reply]

jeopardy’s not on here anymore (and even if it were, i doubt our tragic telly sycophancy would be bad enough to extend to outright importing of US episodes), so i had to just watch Hi-5 and plaster over the discrepancies in reality harder than rex morgan at bed time. i thought your outfit was a brave choice, josh, but very cheery. and i hadn’t realised you could dance. well done.
Little Guy
July 23rd, 2008 at 4:22 pm [Reply]

Brewster Rockit: No love for space bondage?
Deena in OR
July 23rd, 2008 at 4:26 pm [Reply]

262. Anonymous-

I know forty-somethings that aren’t clear on that concept yet, unfortunately.
Deena in OR
July 23rd, 2008 at 4:30 pm [Reply]

(answering my own post…argh)
And OTOH, when I was 17, and with full knowledge and permission from my (pretty strict and careful) parents, I steadily dated a 23 year old airman on the military base we were all stationed on. There were only 11 guys in my senior class at school, and none of them were really the class of guy I wanted to spend time with that (think either substance abuse or a vast difference in goals/intelligence/general life ambition). So I guess it all depends.
Spotted HØrse, Jungle Steed
July 23rd, 2008 at 4:40 pm [Reply]

#262, #271 Deena, #236 commodorejohn:
How about TJ, instead of embarking on a creepy flirtation with an underage girl (calling her bluff), sit down with Luann in Dad DeGroot’s presence and explain why Luann’s activities are inappropriate and potentially disastrous for TJ?

Not funny, I know, but neither is Greg Evans on any given day.
Tom the Pirate
July 23rd, 2008 at 4:42 pm [Reply]

I think it’s kind of sweet how Les uses memories of his dead wife as a sexual lubricant with his best friend’s ex. Love, exciting and new!
UncleJeff
July 23rd, 2008 at 4:43 pm [Reply]

DT: Is Detective Dick taking the bank employees hostage so they don’t get taken hostage by the bank robbers?
commodorejohn
July 23rd, 2008 at 4:45 pm [Reply]

#273 Spotted HØrse, Jungle Steed – Oh, absolutely. I’m not saying that TJ’s behavior is appropriate, I just object to the idea that a woman sexually harassing a man is somehow okay, but not the other way around.
june
July 23rd, 2008 at 4:47 pm [Reply]

Lucky Eddie has obviously been up for a week straight, binging on meth. And it makes your teeth soft and rotten, so naturally he’s worried about what such a hard food as an apple will do to them. He’d rather have the sweet, soft applesauce.
Spotted HØrse, Jungle Steed
July 23rd, 2008 at 4:56 pm [Reply]

#276 commodorejohn: I agree, and I’ve hated this story arc with the passion of, well, you know, a thousand of somethings.
Niall
July 23rd, 2008 at 4:56 pm [Reply]

245. Braniff: ugh! your “him-a-cane” is exactly the level of FC’s usual “gags”. You should be ashamed of yourself.

247. Hogenmogen: there’s nothing Natural in that Ms!

254. Josh: Filming five shows a day gives you quite an insight; by the time of the Thursday show, someone who’s been winning since Monday is in quite a large deal of pressure without a fulld ay to decompress or reabsorb knowledge. If they still win, they deserve to. I wonder if they see more week-long champs dethroned on Friday shows than any other…

257. I guess Trebek is professional, polite but as he does this all the time, can’t really afford the emotional engagement with so many people. After a while, it’s a job, right? How many thousands passed in front of him? The show’s atmosphere is unlike, say, The Price is Right, where emotion was the name of the game to get the contestants (and more imoprtantly, the viewers, to bring up the ratings) excited and prone to make a few more mistakes, meaning fewer payouts and more profit to the show.

261. UncleJeff: Ugh, isn’t it horrible how local shows can get away with outright, blatant fixes? I too was on TV once with the French equivalent of “Reach for the Top”, the high school quiz game. Our school had zero chance against the perennial champions, so there was no need for any fix, and I think I answered all of one question – and incorrectly to boot, though I was the closest. I knew what was being referenced (the Canadian Parliament Buildings’ clocktower ringing for days for a controversial vote delayed by MPs not showing up, holding up everything else), but I answered too broadly (the Centre Block instead of the more precise Peace Tower, which is part of the Centre Block). My only consolation is that it was the first of four clues, and my answer threw off even the other team who started naming other Blocks or buildings instead, and no one got points. Everything else I either didn’t know, or wasn’t fast enough. We had the old pressure plates in front of you to push, which were really difficult to time right; I had my hand in front of it instead of on it. We weren’t allowed to test them beforehand to know how they behaved, either. I’d have thought that rather basic. Our view of teh studio was also completely different than on TV, and that threw me completely completely. But it was still an interesting experience, and not the last time I was on TV… yet still was the one where I appeared the most intelligent. :)

275. UncleJeff: that makes as much sense as anythign else in DT. “Nyah, you can’t take them hostage, we hostaged them first!! Nah nah-nah-NAH nah!”
PeteMoss
July 23rd, 2008 at 5:12 pm [Reply]

commodorejohn, maybe, just maybe, Evans’ won’t let Luann get away so easily. Maybe Dad will revoke her mall privileges or send her to a convent or something. Maybe next week we’ll be reading this misadverntures of Sister Luann of the Perpetual Motion Clevelandites.
commodorejohn
July 23rd, 2008 at 5:37 pm [Reply]

#280 PeteMoss – Well, for the seriousness of the potential consequences, it’d damn well better be something more than “Ward, you need to have a talk with the Beaver.”
Josh
July 23rd, 2008 at 5:38 pm [Reply]

re: Jep. questions (boy, this is more fun than doing work):

They tell you to bring two changes of clothes. If you win, you have ten minutes to hustle back to the green room and change. (They say “if Alex can do it five times a day, so can you.”) If you win more than twice, you can just start repeating, or maybe mix-and-matching.

Almost all of the contact that contestants have with Alex is what you actually see on screen during the show. He actually enters the set from a different entrance from everyone else, and only emerges from his Fortress of Alextude at the beginning of filming (i.e., when you see him walk out at the beginning of the show). Even during the commercial breaks (and they try to do the show in real time, so the commercial breaks are as long as the real commercial breaks during broadcast) he does Q&A with people in the audience, and doesn’t really talk to the contestants. The only exception is that during the first commercial he poses with you for a picture that you get later, and of course there’s a little bit of chit-chat during the closing credits (during which he told me he liked my tie.)

All of this is for exactly the reasons mentioned — to eliminate any appearance of partiality on his part. During the Q&A with the audience, though, he really let his kind of pompous persona drop and was quite funny and personable.

Josh
PeteMoss
July 23rd, 2008 at 5:41 pm [Reply]

#281 commodorejohn
bwahaha! well played, sir.
Muffaroo Wuffaroo
July 23rd, 2008 at 5:43 pm [Reply]

Crank – Ha, ha. That dog’s bigger than the other one! Next, he’ll go bark at Marmaduke and lose, then Marmaduke will stupidly take on Howard Huge, and then Clifford the Big Red Dog will accidentally sit down and get all of them stuck in his butt.

FOOB – One “Yes” means yes. “Yes” twice means no. “YES!” three times means Sweet Jesus, Kill Me Now!

MW – What the –? Are they compulsively regurgitating old fortune cookie sayings as they walk around, or is this some form of foreplay for the brain-damaged?

NS – I thought this joke was pretty funny when I made it in high school.

Phantom – Phantom rides the Dumb Boat.
PeteMoss
July 23rd, 2008 at 5:43 pm [Reply]

wish i had a Fortress of Alextude.
Brick Bradford
July 23rd, 2008 at 5:52 pm [Reply]

MW And sometimes a relationship is an endless series of boring platitudes, apparently.

JP–Am I really the first one making reference to Abby polishing Sam’s putter?
PeteMoss
July 23rd, 2008 at 6:09 pm [Reply]

DT – “First, defaulted morgages. And now a robbery? What next, a run on the bank? Guess I’ll just ’stay down’ just like you said.”
PeteMoss
July 23rd, 2008 at 6:12 pm [Reply]

FC – “Mommie’s boobies are named Polly and Esther.”
bats :[
July 23rd, 2008 at 6:13 pm [Reply]

Yeah. I just want to poke the fat guy with a stick.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/2696310419/sizes/o/
odinthor
July 23rd, 2008 at 6:13 pm [Reply]

#248. Vakar. — The cartoon is, I think, playing with the idea of there being a uniformed person in a store with SECURITY written on him, the jape being “If there’s Security, then why not also Happiness?” To make it into a Ziggy cartoon, change the Happiness to Insecurity.

9CL. — Strictly speaking, Claudio didn’t say that he himself had a hairy chest. We might then wonder why insistently-heterosexual Claudio is paying close attention to the relative hair quotient and seeming virility of the other male dancers; but of course it could be a completely non-sexually related hobby. Yes, sure, of course it could, Claudio. Absolutely. Mmm-hm.

GT. — Elmer’s mom might not need a plane to get to Kalamazoo because she has clearly decapitated Elmer and so he won’t be going to Kalamazoo, and she will be going to a nice cozy Mexican prison.

Popeye. Worst, not worse, dammit!

RMMD. — Rex: Take them? Take the kids, you mean?!?!? Hot dawg! [rushes off towards the basement.]

MW. — Well, but what about the mitochondria, Mary? And, Jeff, for your part, you might want to discuss glandular-stipitate peduncles as this little metaphor continues being drawn out painfully like a prisoner on the rack.

282. Josh. — Wow, Alex does it five times a day! Oh, wait a minute . . . changes clothes . . . sigh, never mind.
PeteMoss
July 23rd, 2008 at 6:19 pm [Reply]

GF – I really would not have anticipated finding the phrase “Interfenestral Monkey Penetration” in Get Fuzzy. Seems more like 9 Chickweek Lane.

in·ter·fen·es·tra·tion
–noun 1. a space between two windows.
2. the art or process of arranging the openings in a wall.

Not nearly as dirty as it sounds.
Uncle Lumpy
July 23rd, 2008 at 6:21 pm [Reply]

#285 Pete –

. . . wish i had a Fortress of Alextude.

. . . wish I knew Jeopardy well enough to call it “Jep.” But no — it’s “Mr. Pardy” for the likes of me.
PeteMoss
July 23rd, 2008 at 6:35 pm [Reply]

#292 UC
Once they go all Hollywood on you, it’s “Jep” this, and “Big Al is really a pussycat” and “Like I was saying in the green room while perusing the cheese tray…” Next thing you know these TV types start calling you a stalker just because you hang around outside their home waiting for them to return or take out the trash or something ’cause your, eh, daughter really wants a picture and autograph.
Vakar
July 23rd, 2008 at 6:53 pm [Reply]

282 Josh: I just started watching Jeopardy! again in the last couple years, and I think onscreen Alex is much more fun and much less pompous than he was, say, ten years ago. So he lets his hair down even more than that during taping? Wow, probably next year he’ll start stripteasing for the audience.

290 odinthor: Oh, I get it: Happiness Enforcement! Reminds me of Paranoia, a role-playing game my brother was into in the late 80’s. It took place in a totalitarian future society ruled by computers. One page of the manual featured one of their propaganda posters: “HAPPINESS IS MANDATORY. ARE YOU HAPPY?”

There, I’ve used up all my geek points for the month.
Uncle Lumpy
July 23rd, 2008 at 7:01 pm [Reply]

#293 Pete –

. . . hang around outside their home waiting for them to return or take out the trash or something . . .

And we haven’t run into one another? I’m the one in the trenchcoat and pants legs down the block under the “broken” street lamp.
dale
July 23rd, 2008 at 7:16 pm [Reply]

Jeopardy

Does Trebek actually have all the answers memorized so he can respond as quickly as he does and comment on what was expected or how the contestant got it wrong?
How do they pull that off?
Josh
July 23rd, 2008 at 8:18 pm [Reply]

Whee, more Jeopardy answers! One of these days I’ll even put a comic up.

#294 Vakar — Seriously, almost all of Alex’s punchlines in his audience Q&A bits were about his crippling problem with alcohol. Actual exchange: “How long have you been a wine connoisseur?” “Oh, I wouldn’t say I’m a connoisseur. I just drink to get bombed.”

#296 Dale — According to the Jeopardy staff, Alex gets in to work at 7 each morning to study the day’s games so that he has all the answers in mind and the pronounciations memorized by the time filming starts around 11 or so. (This may sound like an actual kind of difficult job, but keep in mind that they only film two days a week, and don’t film every week.) He does have a big sheet of paper on his podium with the day’s clues on it, but he doesn’t really look at it all that often, or he’s pretty subtle about it if he does. Still, he knows his stuff almost universally; I only saw him flub a pronounciation once (they retaped the audio during a commercial break).

Oh, and to answer a much earlier question: they wouldn’t actually let me say the name of my blog on the air, it being a for-profit enterprise and all, for the same reason that everybody works for “a major insurance company” and the like: Jeopardy didn’t get to be an incredibly profitable cash cow by giving away advertising.

Josh
Violet
July 23rd, 2008 at 8:41 pm [Reply]

I’m trying to decide if today’s Ziggy is a) gentle whimsy about the fact that most “limited time offers” are in fact available indefinitely, b) grim forboding about the future of our solar system, or c) blithering lunacy apropos of nothing. If precedent is any guide, I’m leaning toward c.
David
July 23rd, 2008 at 9:03 pm [Reply]

Josh, I was going to wait for your full Jeopardy post to comment, but I can wait no longer. Fun to see you on TV, you acquited yourself very well. That dude who won was a freaking machine. Even my wife was rooting for you, and she thinks I spend way too much time reading (and quoting) your work.
strawberrymom22
July 23rd, 2008 at 9:06 pm [Reply]

Is “dirty root” and “man root” the same thing? No wait – don’t tell me – I’ll check the Urban dictionary!

Did anyone else see that it was broad daylight yet the neon glow from the Bum Boat’s sign was blinding? It looks like a real classy place.
Artist formerly known as Ben
July 23rd, 2008 at 9:10 pm [Reply]

#266 commodorejohn
I think you’re basing your reaction on the assumption that Frank has said all he’s going to say on the subject, and that since he hasn’t taken Luann to task yet, he’s not going to. But unless Frank is a complete ineffectual boob…

OK, start over. Given the strip’s intended audience, I think the whole point of this sideplot was to show young’uns that spreading gossip can have unforeseen complications. So one of the parents will probably give Luann a good talking to before the cartoons get colorful on Sunday.
Mooncattie
July 23rd, 2008 at 9:18 pm [Reply]

MW – While ol’ Mare and Jeff continue their flowery turdering upon the English language in an effort to express feelings that they can neither understand nor appreciate, it’s important to seek out one glimmer of substance as reassurance that the precious seconds required to read each day’s strip were not spent in vain. For me, today’s salvation is the hope that we are not looking at a neon sign above the restaurant entrance, but rather are listening to an employee whose job it is, from opening time to the moment the last fish-shaped lamp is switched off, to announce the eatery by screaming as loudly as possible “BUM BOAT!!!” “BUM BOAT!!!” “BUM BOAT!!!”.
commodorejohn
July 23rd, 2008 at 9:26 pm [Reply]

#301 Artist Formerly Known As Ben – I’m willing to wait and see, but that had better happen.

And it’s still creepy, even if it has an IMPORTANT LESSON FOR US ALL.
Uncle Lumpy
July 23rd, 2008 at 9:55 pm [Reply]

Important Lessons from the Comics:

Funky Winkerbean — Death is bad.
Mary Worth — Stuff is true.
Crankshaft — Everything is crap.
Judge Parker — Time is slow.
Gil Thorp — Life is confusing.
Dick Tracy — Locher is nuts.
Milo
July 23rd, 2008 at 10:01 pm [Reply]

You know that by posting Mary Worth on this site you are only encouraging the cartoonist to continue. Before this site, I had no idea Mary Worth existed. And now that I know it exists, Cathy is no longer at the number one spot for “worst and most pointless comic EVER”.
Niall
July 23rd, 2008 at 10:27 pm [Reply]

This is for Mollificent. As I threatened in post 221 above:

Niall reads the titles of his Comics list!

(750k mp3, direct link, so you can right-click download if you prefer.)

Yeah, I was feeling silly. :)
commodorejohn
July 23rd, 2008 at 10:31 pm [Reply]

#305 Milo – If our constituting a large portion of the Mary Worth fanbase leads to such wonderfully obvious baitings like today’s “tender bud/dirty root” bit, that’s a price I’m willing to pay.
Poteet
July 23rd, 2008 at 10:33 pm [Reply]

# 304 Uncle Lumpy — BWAHAHAHA! Thanks, I needed that.
LTBF
July 23rd, 2008 at 10:55 pm [Reply]

Josh…Was that a pot leaf on your tie? Did you get to meet the guy who was on Monday’s show with the funky hairdo and wore a suit he found in a trash can? What was he like?

Congratulations on making the show. I’ve tried out once and passed the prelim test but failed the main one.
LTBF
July 23rd, 2008 at 11:00 pm [Reply]

The corny play on words this week almost make me miss the corny puns.

Anybody read Dear Abby? A letter today is from someone who probably loves FBOFW.
Hasty Penguin
July 23rd, 2008 at 11:02 pm [Reply]

It seems to me that Dr. Zook’s office is very modern with the exception of the skull candle (which seems to be serving very little purpose in a room with overhead lighting), the stools, and the people in it.
LTBF
July 23rd, 2008 at 11:02 pm [Reply]

I once saw someone on Jeopardy who lived in Atlanta and was an executive for a soft drink company. Gee, I wonder who he worked for?
LTBF
July 23rd, 2008 at 11:08 pm [Reply]

Sam and Abbey haven’t had sex since 1995.

If the last time they had sex in the strip was 1995, that’s only about two weeks in JP time.
Chemical Cupcake
July 23rd, 2008 at 11:16 pm [Reply]

#310 I thought the same thing about Dear Abby today! The second letter in Dear Abby where someone was ranting about “no problem” replacing “you’re welcome” in the American lexicon sounded exactly like a Jump Start strip from a few years ago.
heynoni
July 23rd, 2008 at 11:26 pm [Reply]

Two distubing things:

1) Jeff is about to be attacked by Thing in panel one.
2) Mary’s lean is less reminiscent of putting her head on his shoulder, and more reminiscent of putting her hand down …

.. I’ll leave it there.
strawberrymom22
July 23rd, 2008 at 11:31 pm [Reply]

#310 & #314 – I read Dear Abby and I really liked the advice she gave that pun person about waiting until her co-workers get to know her MUCH better.
LTBF
July 23rd, 2008 at 11:35 pm [Reply]

I agree. Somebody going around making stupid puns all the time would be annoying. I’m glad I don’t know that person. Their whole atitude “Will people feel stupid if they don’t get my puns?” They seemd like they would be a pain in the ass to deal with even without the puns.

I’d also like to tell them the thing you cook on outside is called a grill, not a barbecue.
Poteet
July 23rd, 2008 at 11:58 pm [Reply]

# 317 LTBF — I usually don’t see Dear Abby, but I saw this one, and something about that punster’s letter elicited deep hostility in me. Probably it was the assumption that people who don’t enjoy constant punning are dim.
John Steed, Talented Professional
July 24th, 2008 at 9:35 pm [Reply]

Why is the steering wheel in the Mary Worth-Mobile on the passenger side of the car?
pikapi!
July 26th, 2008 at 2:15 pm [Reply]

Cthulhu: It’s what’s on Jeff’s head.

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