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Sophisticated rat

Mary Worth, 7/28/08

While Mary and Toby are nattering on about the Great Charterstone Love Story as if this endless plotline is going to continue, I feel quite confident that panel two is introducing us to the character that will be at the center of the next story arc: the waiter’s package. Seriously, the dude clearly is dressing left and I don’t think there are very many comics characters I can say that with such certainty about. Dramatic economy would imply that anything that’s received that much artistic attention is destined for prominence in future installments.

I really wish we had been privy to the morning scene at the Camerons, as I’m sure Ian said something devastatingly cruel about Toby’s purple linked-heart sleeveless t-shirt. It’s really sad when you have to turn to lunch with Mary Worth for an emotional pick-me-up.

Slylock Fox, 7/28/08

It’s nice to see another representative of the ne’er-do-well Rat clan (I’m assuming that Rodney is some form of kin — probably simultaneously nephew and second cousin — to Reeky) causing trouble down at the local second-tier department store and sporting a fine mullet to boot. Still, the rest of the Rats are going to be less than impressed when they find out that his criminal scheme’s ultimate aim is to purloin some gloves. “Oh, I’m sorry, are you too good pick up the garbage strewn around your trailer with your bare hands? Well la-di-da, your majesty!”

Apartment 3-G, 7/28/08

At last, we find out why South Dakota is so damn exciting — Lu Ann’s parents are there! This is exciting not only for Lu Ann but for us seekers of A3G drama, since we’ve been assured by cousin Ruby that Lu Ann’s parents are strangely distant towards their artist daughter. This is understandable, what with her being Lu Ann and all. I’m kind of embarrassed just reading about her every day.

For Better Or For Worse, 7/28/08

“Yes, it certainly would have been awkward telling you about all this while Iris was here, what with her not being invited to the wedding and all.”

This entry was posted on Tuesday, July 29, 2008 at 12:05 am and is filed under Apartment 3-G, For Better or for Worse, Mary Worth, Slylock Fox.

66 responses to “Sophisticated rat”

PeteMoss
July 29th, 2008 at 12:09 am [Reply]

Iris is a lush. She’ll be swimin’ in the fountain before Michael gets to page two of his damn speech
PeteMoss
July 29th, 2008 at 12:10 am [Reply]

…But then again, won’t we all?
Aesop
July 29th, 2008 at 12:17 am [Reply]

FBOFW: I made multiple assumptions while reading this strip.

1. “I’m glad Iris decided to visit her son, Dad.”
Iris’s son’s name is Dad.

2. “I’ve been wanting some alone time with you.”
Elly finally plans on putting her dad out of his misery.

3. Elly couldn’t tell her dad about the wedding plans because either A. she wasn’t invited or B. Iris hates them all and wants nothing to do with their stupid wedding.
Hot Pie
July 29th, 2008 at 12:20 am [Reply]

FOOB: You realize of course grandpa would have said that line regardless of who was sitting in front of him. Elle just happened to be in the right place at the right time to receive his droppin’ knowledge.
The Ghost of Jarrod
July 29th, 2008 at 12:21 am [Reply]

“Yes” is “Boxcar” for a new generation.
PeteMoss
July 29th, 2008 at 12:21 am [Reply]

SF – I’ll tell you what’s criminal: $18 a month “rent to own” on that damn dryer.
Shalomi
July 29th, 2008 at 12:23 am [Reply]

FOOB: Guetth how many gobthtopperth I have in my mouth! Go on, guetth!
Anthony Moustache Nostalgia
July 29th, 2008 at 12:24 am [Reply]

Ellie’s voice spiraled into nothingness as Grandpa Jim’s “glow by glow” peyote vision consumed his brain’s remaining faculties.
Mac
July 29th, 2008 at 12:26 am [Reply]

Wait, I thought Lu Ann’s family was from Texas or Tennessee or some other place south of the Mason-Dixon Line. Speaking as a southerner, I’m glad she’s not one, because we have enough negative stereotypes.

She really does seem like a Texan, though.
JBHale
July 29th, 2008 at 12:30 am [Reply]

I think the eeriest part of Slylock Fox’s universe is the fact that all the clocks are set to the same time. Either that rat is serious about stealing gloves or they live in some eerily perfect and twisted universe in which cats choose to file down their own claws and mice can wear nothing but hats and trousers.
velvet goldmine
July 29th, 2008 at 12:31 am [Reply]

MW: Is that my left or his left?
Sorako-chan
July 29th, 2008 at 12:37 am [Reply]

A “glow by glow” description? Has Grandpa been silently suffering from synesthesia all these years? Is Elly radioactive? She does seem to be emitting something from her mouth in panel five there.
True Fable
July 29th, 2008 at 12:42 am [Reply]

#9 Mac – I was under the same impression as you, that Luann was one of those Northeast Texas Women with their cotton candy hair (thanks, David Bromberg!) And didn’t Cousin Ruby rave on and on about being from a lil’ ol’ Texas town?

I don’t know. I had so much fun watching Luann turn into a raving lunatic, she could be from Roopville and I wouldn’t have noticed.

I would just prefer that she doesn’t startle the ninja goats, dammit. We’re getting ready to go north for the Settlocaplyse and I don’t want them distracted by some airhead with a Paint-By-Numbers set.
Artemis
July 29th, 2008 at 12:43 am [Reply]

Mary Worth’s tragic flaw is again her endless self-absorption. For covering that finely delineated package in the second panel is the same lurid fabric that preceded her into the Bum Boat the evening before (see the strip on 7/23), this time masquerading as a waiter rather than a patron of a restaurant clearly meant for a more aged generation. Of course, the fine ass and hidden face lend only credibility to the tray in shadow: this man is the hope of our resistance, the secret agent poised to poison Mary, to do her in once and for all. We can only hope that she asks for a refill… and that her own evil does not allow her to conquer Death.
Weaselboy
July 29th, 2008 at 12:48 am [Reply]

FOOB: I hope Lynn didn’t throw her back out hoeing that row to get to that lame-ass pun.
Norm
July 29th, 2008 at 12:53 am [Reply]

What does “Dressing Left” mean? I’ve never heard the expression. Though if it has something to do with picking clothing that emphasizes the crotch area, I’m sure I’ve done it a few times.
Rusty
July 29th, 2008 at 12:58 am [Reply]

SFx: He needs gloves to hide his fingerprints when committing future crimes. Duh! (did I really write that?)

Foob: This strip reads as if Lynn is frantically shoveling story details into each panel so she can wrap the fucker up and go on her world tour. Don’t worry hon, your self-imposed deadline can be changed anytime you like. I’m betting she never completely stops churning out new stories, they will just be less frequent than now in order to keep showing the early “classic” strips.
Red Greenback
July 29th, 2008 at 1:05 am [Reply]

MW: Yeah, I’d feel pretty damned uplifted after leaving that venue, too.
SFx: What the hell is Max carrying?
A3G: I was born in the deep south…Dakota.
Foob: Just say yes if you want me to stop yapping, Dad.
UntrodTripod
July 29th, 2008 at 1:08 am [Reply]

Did anyone else read Blondie today? It was a really great release for me. You see, reading Blondie, you feel trapped in your own insane little world by the characters tacit acceptance of Dagwood’s hair. Then Smithers said it was “wacky” and “quirky”, and I was free!
Mr. Nice Guy
July 29th, 2008 at 1:08 am [Reply]

Mary Worth: Am I wrong, or does “left the venue” sound like something from a police report?
jlp
July 29th, 2008 at 1:09 am [Reply]

So, the waiter’s package is Chekhov’s Gun?
yeff
July 29th, 2008 at 1:23 am [Reply]

Well, now we know where all those Bum Boat patrons in white shirts and blue pants come from. They’re just getting off their shifts at Chez Fez and looking for some booze-laden relief from the endless chattering of the self-occupied diners.

Then, alas, in comes Mary to the Bum Boat. And there goes the evening…

- yeff
Ethelbald
July 29th, 2008 at 1:24 am [Reply]

The waiter’s smoldering sexual power apparently also allows him to breathe fire, as he has just turned their dinner and half his arm into a black, charred mass.
yeff
July 29th, 2008 at 1:24 am [Reply]

Elly: “And now that I’ve told you all about the wedding, Dad, you don’t have to actually be there, do you? Hey, look at the writing on this pillow. Look real close…”

- yeff
Eric L
July 29th, 2008 at 1:32 am [Reply]

Good thing Anthony has an uncle in the menswear industry because otherwise neither he nor his family would even have any reason to show up.
A New Day
July 29th, 2008 at 1:42 am [Reply]

I’m fascinated by this Slylock Fox strip. Specifically, why does Rodney even believe that a diversion is necessary? The salesfox/cat(?)lady just let him tinker with a dozen or so clocks right in front of her; why not just walk off with whatever he wanted then? Why set up the extra, convoluted step? I think it has something to do with the $300 fishing rod(?) that Max Mouse is tip-toeing away with. Or is he planting it in the store, and if so, for what purpose? These are the questions that will keep me awake tonight – frustrating, but still a welcome distraction from the old standby of “She’s really going to end this strip by marrying Liz off to Anthony? Really?”
dale
July 29th, 2008 at 2:04 am [Reply]

A3G
I don’t follow A3G – never subscribed to a paper that carried it, but-
All we know from the first two panels are that (1) LuAnn was born in SD and (2) her parents are ranchers.
They might live in Argentina. Maybe they didn’t tell her. Might have just slipped their minds.
Lorris
July 29th, 2008 at 2:11 am [Reply]

Wait, doesn’t Lu Anne have a sassy southern cousin named Ruby? Isn’t South Dakota very much not in the South?
Poteet
July 29th, 2008 at 2:11 am [Reply]

MW — What is Mary doing with her upper arm in that first panel? Was she hoping for a high-five that Toby never delivered?
Edward
July 29th, 2008 at 2:53 am [Reply]

#16: once upon a time, when men’s clothes were made by tailors, you were asked where you ‘dressed’. That is, does your penis naturally hang to the left or to the right.

Sometimes, when measuring, the tailor would just ask ‘Which way, sir?’ which of course, led to thousands of awful smutty jokes.
Bookworm
July 29th, 2008 at 4:18 am [Reply]

MW – Seriously “they had beautiful harmony together?” Who were they supposed to have harmony with? The footlights? And nobody outside a newspaper reporter has used venue in conversation since the 1800s.

A3G – “Gosh” we’ve already started with the stereotypical country girl dialect. I jest cain’t wait to see what else this new story brings.
Invisible Me
July 29th, 2008 at 4:29 am [Reply]

I don’t see what the problem is with Luann having relatives in Texas and in South Dakota. Do Americans have laws barring them from moving from state to state?
Sue D. Nymme
July 29th, 2008 at 5:25 am [Reply]

A3G — Does Luann only ever get to visit her parents when someone sponsors a trip for her?

FOOB — Oh no… there is nothing worse than a relative singing at a wedding.
The Restless Mouse
July 29th, 2008 at 5:37 am [Reply]

Glow-by-glow my foot… Gramps is thinking about some chick he met at an Elvis concert back in ‘59
He Brought Queenie Baby Jesus
July 29th, 2008 at 8:03 am [Reply]

The Rats have fallen on hard times, and are forced to steal their stealing schemes from the Cats. Sorrow!
Ginger Yellow
July 29th, 2008 at 8:21 am [Reply]

26: Moreover, what does it matter what the distraction is? SF has a confession already. Why doesn’t he just arrest him?
ConcreteQueen
July 29th, 2008 at 8:49 am [Reply]

Slylock is so focused on Rodney Rat (seriously, he’s going to set all the alarm clocks without being noticed?), that he’s missed the real thief — the Duck. The Duck wearing the white fur coat. In the middle of summer. A fur coat identical to those hanging on the rack. And for that matter, it’s the fur of what exactly? Isn’t wearing a fur coat in Slylock’s world a bit like wearing a coat of human skin here? Isn’t that the slightest bit suspicious?
Chip
July 29th, 2008 at 9:19 am [Reply]

#9 : SOUTH Dakota!
Chip
July 29th, 2008 at 9:21 am [Reply]

I bet that Mary and Jeff travelled to “The City That Herb and Jamal Call Home” to see “The Singers” at “The Venue Where Music is Played!”
mere cog in the machine
July 29th, 2008 at 9:47 am [Reply]

I’m pretty certain that ‘The Waiter’s Package’ is a nearly forgotten sonnet by Lord Alfred Douglas. If I can dredge up the lines I will post them.
WarOfTheBees
July 29th, 2008 at 10:16 am [Reply]

My God, they even use puns in their speech-locked minds.
coops
July 29th, 2008 at 10:21 am [Reply]

That’s a lot of freakin’ work done just to steal a pair of gloves. Couldn’t he just slip them in his jacket? Of course, this is by a criminal who divulges his plans to his cohort within a few feet of Slylock, so I shouldn’t be surprised by any of this.
Deckard Canine
July 29th, 2008 at 10:23 am [Reply]

Max is obviously shoplifting the rod, yet Slylock is more worried about Rodney taking the gloves. Either the fox is not fully observant, or he holds a double standard. “Mice are cuddly. Rats are just scuzzy.”
bitterbrew
July 29th, 2008 at 11:08 am [Reply]

And, really, what the hell has Iris ever done for Elly, anyway? Well, aside from wasting the last precious years of her own life tending to the wants and desires of Elly’s father. But of course, being a women, Iris clearly only had one path to finding true happiness during her own decline–by finding a man to take care of–so I guess it works out for everyone.
Fat Charlie
July 29th, 2008 at 11:18 am [Reply]

FBOFW: “I guess you could call this a glow by glow description! Oh, I’m having a stroke.”
McManx
July 29th, 2008 at 11:20 am [Reply]

FOOB — Poor Grandpa Chinnuts has been reduced to uttering “yes” to every thing as Elly prattles on about every tedious detail of the wedding. Maybe when the pastor says “Is there any one here who knows why this couple should not be joined in holy matrimony,” Grandpa will look up from his seat of honor on the front row and babble “YES!”
McManx
July 29th, 2008 at 11:27 am [Reply]

SFox — Come on Rodney, you’re a rat with a mullet for God’s sake. We know you’re packing. Just bust a cap in Slylock’s ass and steal the freakin’ gloves already. And take care of your little snitch rodent cousin, Max while you’re at it. And if you’re lucky, when they put out the BOLO for a six foot tall rat, they’ll pick up Reeky instead.
Shannon
July 29th, 2008 at 11:41 am [Reply]

Wait, I thought Grandpa FOOB was dead! Wasn’t there a strip where he died?

I guess it’s kind of obvious that I only read the comics that are posted here…
doug rogers
July 29th, 2008 at 11:44 am [Reply]

The perfect distraction? Rodney Rat pouncing on on Max Mouse, tearing him limb from limb and devouring him in front of a cat salesgirl, as a lesson in Mark Trail animal husbandry, a lesson in how cats and rats are supposed to behave.
Trouser Tent
July 29th, 2008 at 11:56 am [Reply]

Something tells me that Lu Ann is from Wall, SD. She wouldn’t be from a town with gambling and drinking and sinfulness that you would see in Deadwood mind you…she is the paragon of wholesomeness which only could be produced by a town like Wall, SD. In Wall they have the world’s largest drugstore there where you can get FREE Ice Water an 5 CENT Coffee…whopee! There is also a traveler’s chapel and a life sized diorama that when you push a button a stereotyped Sioux chief shakes a stick at a stereotyped cowboy! Now that is what I call FUN and WHOLESOME.

Actually, I think her parent’s ranch was bought out by the Rosebud Reservation so they can use the land to build a mega casino. They must have forgot to tell her they retired to Boca Raton.
Astroboy
July 29th, 2008 at 12:23 pm [Reply]

#48 Shannon, nope, Grandpa Chinnuts is still, in the immortal words of Roger Waters, “Hanging on in quiet desperation.”
mere cog in the machine
July 29th, 2008 at 12:32 pm [Reply]

51 Astroboy: It’s the Canadian way.
StrangeRover
July 29th, 2008 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

A3G: C’mon! Of course South Dakota’s in the South! Otherwise they wouldn’t call it South Dakota! Am I right?? Guys….?
wooddragon
July 29th, 2008 at 2:35 pm [Reply]

Re: #28, Lorris: Um, I have sassy Southern cousins and I’ve never lived in the south…
mere cog in the machine
July 29th, 2008 at 2:41 pm [Reply]

Did anyone else ever see the mockumentay ‘CSA: Confederate States of America’? It gives you a great picture of what life in this hemisphere would have been like had those “sassy southerners” won the War of Northern Aggression!
survivor
July 29th, 2008 at 3:23 pm [Reply]

I guessed that Slylock Fox would be the distraction. Wouldn’t YOU stare at a Fox in a detective’s outfit walking into your store with an enormous patio block?
Daily Comics Reviewer
July 29th, 2008 at 3:48 pm [Reply]

I will laugh my ass off if Luann goes home and we find out her parents are Frank and Nancy and their last name is Degroot. Best cross-strip action ever!
P
July 29th, 2008 at 4:03 pm [Reply]

Tuesday’s FC: No Billy, it’s the devil. The devil traps kites on roofs and gives you false signals because he WANTS YOU OFF THIS EARTH!
Sully
July 29th, 2008 at 4:20 pm [Reply]

Friggin’ Lynn tries so hard to make us all feel compassion, sympathy and hope for Grampnuts. Why then, do I pray for the old bastard to up and die already?!
NosferatusCoffin
July 29th, 2008 at 5:21 pm [Reply]

FOOB: It appears that Lynn is setting up a “Weekend at Bernies” plotline with The Wedding That Will Not End.

I can see it now. Grandpa Jim, moldering in his coffin at the back of the church, will suddenly spring to life, jump out of the coffin and smack John across the chops as he is starting to walk Liz down the aisle. He will then grab Liz’s hand, frog-march her down to the priest and spit in Anthony’s eye. Then he will pull out a semi-automatic and spray the church with bullets, making sure to hit every Patterson right in the chest. He will then amble over to the wedding cake and proceed to barf all over it. Then he will have another massive stroke and fall stone dead. But not before shouting “Sic Semper Pattersonis!” to the stunned survivors of the wedding crowd.

Revenge is sweet.
Forrest
July 29th, 2008 at 5:43 pm [Reply]

Can the artists of Apartment 3-G please render LuAnn with some sort of age consistency? She goes from looking like an 85 year old drag queen trying to be Joan Rivers in panel 2 to Paris Hilton’s inbred cousin in panel 3.
Ethan Shuster
July 29th, 2008 at 6:27 pm [Reply]

I can see it now: “Hey, sis, since I am a successful writer, I can write I speech to give at your wedding as a gift to you!” I’m sure she was thrilled, Mike. Isn’t the groom’s best man supposed to give a speech? Or has the assimilating Borg family all ready decided that Michael will be Anthony’s best man? Or maybe Michael’s just a big douche.
annabannana
July 30th, 2008 at 5:58 pm [Reply]

“We left the venue feeling uplifted”?

Don’t tell me Dick Nixon is dead. He’s alive and well and writing the dialogue for Mary Worth.
Canuckguy
July 31st, 2008 at 8:03 pm [Reply]

Great. First Blandthony proposed on my birthday, then the wedding is set for my daughter’s birthday, ruining two of the biggest days in my own life.

Wait a tick, getting married only 5 months after proposal? What, is Lizardbreath knocked up or something? OH GOD, PLEASE DON’T SAY THAT LIZARDBREATH IS KNOCKED UP!!!
Mars vs Hollywood
August 1st, 2008 at 12:48 am [Reply]

Is it just me, or does that cat salesgirl in SFx look like Cassandra’s less glamorous and criminally ambitious sister?

One chose crime, one chose retail. It’s almost Shakespearian.
Justin
August 4th, 2008 at 9:48 pm [Reply]

My wife and I laughed so hard we almost threw up after the “dressing left” line.

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