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Tap-dancing on the event horizon

It’s a shame the way soap strips dispose of incidental characters at the end of their runs. Let’s pay a last visit to a few of them before we lose them forever.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 2/23/13

Oh look, Honey seems to have perked right back up despite her recent gender-identification crisis and a life bereft of love or meaning. I guess that shower was just what she needed!

The Morgans seem stunned that the Beachside Beer Blast for Dolores (a.k.a. “Phoenix Reising”) raised $10,000. How does that work, anyway? We know the party wasn’t B.Y.O. because the girls stockpiled beer in Rex and June’s fridge. “Beach Trash” Brenda Woods (a.k.a. “B.W.”) chipped in $50 — a tad steep for the stripper ‘n’ surfer crowd, but let’s go with it. If $50 is the average, maybe 300 people at 67% gross margin after costs of Bud Lite, Tostitos, and Solo Cups at about $16.50 per head? Sounds plausible. Or maybe they just covered expenses before Neddy dropped in from Judge Parker and laid one of her “allowance” checks on them?

Hägar the Horrible, 2/23/13

Hey, Honey — grab that $10K and buy a ticket to London stat: we found you a Sugar Daddy! And even though the job description is “someone to read to Grampa”, I’ve got a feeling illiteracy isn’t a deal-breaker.

Judge Parker, M.D., 2/23/13

Oh, and that Neddy thing? Could totally happen: she’s on the move, back to Spencer Farms with her mysterious American doctor friend in tow. It’s a shame, though, that we won’t be checking in with the old gang in Paris — loyal manservant Groves, here, his employer Rachel the Cancer Aunt, Cedric the Wonder Butler, or maybe even Sociology Hooker? At least we’ll be spared mopey Jules and his Business Plan.

Mary Worth, 2/23/13

Aboard his Empty Plane to Oblivion, John Dill consoles himself with the Mary Worth Book of Fake Quotations. Seriously John, it’s surprisingly easy to lose something you never had: you might even consider such things “pre-lost”, if that helps you work things out. For example, you never had Mary, and lost her with no effort at all! But if by “hard” you mean “emotionally taxing”, well, let’s just let Dr. Jeff Corey weigh in on that one — he’s got no prospects of having Mary, or losing her either.

– Uncle Lumpy

211 responses to “Tap-dancing on the event horizon”

  1. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    February 23rd, 2013 at 1:54 am [Reply]

    MW: Clearly it has been a very long time since the artist has been in an airport, or on a plane. It’s evident that the last time was (a) pre-TSA, and (b) when men still wore suits to travel.

  2. comcis fan
    February 23rd, 2013 at 1:59 am [Reply]

    Somewhere in a dingy, industrial comic strip factory, a tyrannical biddy is forcing indentured cartoonists to create ridiculous paens to her funny page alter ego, Mary Worth, the all-knowing elder advisor and senior femme fatale.

  3. Droopy Says
    February 23rd, 2013 at 2:00 am [Reply]

    Spiderdick: “I’ll check the TV news”? MJ, you are so modern! Anyone else would have opened the window and listened for a newsboy shouting “Extra!”

    Mock Travail: Has Rusty unknowingly given Catfish an alibi? If Rusty was watching Catfish all day . . . oh. There I go being logical again.

    Spiderdick: Somebody should tell NASA about this rocket, because it’s been operating longer than any known solid rocket motor.

    Flinky Whutasnore: Now the only movement in this strip involves bowels.

    Phantom: Kit, do you see the paternity suit sneaking up on you? Because Lionness #4 has some very pointed questions about your time together.

    Pluggers: In theory, Pluggers are old enough to know beter.

    Family Circus: The inane words and huge spoon explain why the melonheads only have one nostril: they each wrecked one by snorting huge amounts of coke.

    Mary Mirthless: Would this be funnier if Mary had seen John leave in a big yellow taxi?

  4. Inkwell
    February 23rd, 2013 at 2:07 am [Reply]

    Cheer up, John. With your book of unattributed, out-of-context bittersweet quotes, it’s like Mary never left your side!

  5. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 23rd, 2013 at 2:10 am [Reply]

    We made almost $10,000 for the Phoenix Fund!

    That $9,999 from Helen Clark ((hic)) really came in handy. The Morgans kicked in the remaining ninety-nine cents, natch.

    Dang, Rex, June and Sawah only need another copper to make it an even $10,000. Guess they need to go back to turning over couch cushions in their FREE apartment…

  6. Mr. O’Malley
    February 23rd, 2013 at 2:22 am [Reply]

    MW: Just put on your noise-cancelling headphones and crank up some Muddy Waters.

  7. Alice
    February 23rd, 2013 at 2:26 am [Reply]

    Luann: No, Luann. You are not “learning” a thing. No one in your world ever learns anything. It is the First Law of Evans.

  8. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 23rd, 2013 at 2:33 am [Reply]

    What you don’t see in Saturday’s strip: John is dyslexic, so he’s holding
    the Mary Worth Book of Fake Quotations upside down in order to read it.

    What you haven’t seen (yet) in MW: John looks out the window and spots a freakin’ gremlin giant Mary Worth head floating in the clouds.

    I can hardly wait for Sunday’s Mary Worth!

  9. MySpoonIsTooBig
    February 23rd, 2013 at 2:36 am [Reply]

    9CL- So, what the everloving fuck are the Smothers Brothers doing while all this going on? They’re cruel to their cow, thus presumably are a pair of low-lifes, but then get chewed out, charged an inflated bill, and watch as said vet just takes the cow, and… they’re just like “Okay”. They seem to be awfully relaxed ne’er do-wells.

    I know, I know. My first mistake is expecting any kind of logic in 9CL.

  10. Yahtzee
    February 23rd, 2013 at 2:47 am [Reply]

    HTH: It’s funny because … Hagar is going to kidnap some girl and haul her across the ocean, to a land she’s never known, to live as a sex slave to an elderly Viking? No. Maybe because she’s supposed to be “over 21″? Like the Vikings checked ID pre-rape. Ha ha! Good one.

    JPMD: I see Abbey failed to give Johnny Fontane that movie role. Tom Hagen has left her a nice reminder, there on her cabinet in the foreground, that some offers can’t be refused.

  11. SideshowJon
    February 23rd, 2013 at 2:52 am [Reply]

    So, Hagar the Horrible made a Sex Slavery joke. He’s living up to “the Horrible” much better than Dennis is living up to “the Menace.”

  12. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 23rd, 2013 at 3:00 am [Reply]

    Short ribs:

    Frazz — If wishes were fishes, Caulfield would be swimming in piss.

    Hägar — Grampa wants a lap dancer from Lapland. (And Gramma just wants
    to be left alone!)

  13. Huckleberry Fink
    February 23rd, 2013 at 3:25 am [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#5): Dang, Rex, June and Sawah only need another copper

    Who’s “Dang” — and why haven’t we seen him in Rex Morgan before?

    @Alice (#7): No one in your world ever learns anything.

    Alice, you shouldn’t expect a big foot camel toe cartoonist like Greg Evans to conform to your rigid standards. (At least that’s what Brooke McEldowney says!)

  14. Inkwell
    February 23rd, 2013 at 4:10 am [Reply]

    I’m pretty sure Hagar made this joke a couple years ago, with the same characters, without the “someone to read to him” excuse.

    So it’s actually nicer! Still disgusting, but nicer!

  15. Doctor Handsome
    February 23rd, 2013 at 4:17 am [Reply]

    Given the context, “over 21″ seems a counterintuitive criterion.

  16. Ed Dravecky
    February 23rd, 2013 at 4:21 am [Reply]

    Cast aside? Surely Rex Morgan MD is going to check back with Mayor Dalton to make critical decisions about his cancerous prostate. Should Rex operate? Is chemo an option? Should the prostate get a Twitter account to go with its long-running Pacebook fan page?

  17. Doctor Handsome
    February 23rd, 2013 at 4:25 am [Reply]

    “Until this moment, I never understood how hard it is to book a commercial flight where there’s only one other passenger.”

  18. Doctor Handsome
    February 23rd, 2013 at 4:34 am [Reply]

    “Sleep tight, you two! I’m just going to sensually caress the doorway with my tits on my way out, in case anyone forgot I’m loose.”

  19. NonnyMus
    February 23rd, 2013 at 5:17 am [Reply]

    How clever of John Dill to have chosen an airline which has a color scheme which matches his skin tones!

  20. Ratiocinator
    February 23rd, 2013 at 6:40 am [Reply]

    9CL: Okay, has she got a frickin’ ark she needs to fill or something? And “They called her a bad name”? We have not yet BEGUN to get insane.

    Anyhoo, now we know that she didn’t even bother to report the abuse of the cow to somebody who might’ve done something about it. And we know that she didn’t take the cow away to keep it from being abused further. Instead she took the calf because–she could pick that up and she couldn’t lift the cow? I have no idea.

    I actually did once aid and abet in the abduction of two kittens at a stable, but for a much better reason. It’s a long story though, so I’ll go into it in a separate comment.

    ASM: Out of everything that’s going on in the world, the television news media decides to provide live coverage of the exploits of two costumed superpowered vigilantes on the opposite coast, ignoring much more important stuff that their viewership really ought to know, but which isn’t as exciting to watch.

    Sadly, this part of the story seems pretty accurate.

    JP: That knight in panel one is the second biggest chess piece I’ve ever seen in a soap opera comic strip.

    Luann: “Skype-flirting”?! THEM’S FIGHTIN’ WORDS!

    Wait, no they aren’t. What’s she getting so enraged about?

    RMMD: So this could just be the coloring drones liking to put certain colours on strippers, but I notice that Honey has changed into a pink top and blue bottom, just like Delores. Does she believe that in order to be loved, she must become and then replace Delores, and she’s starting with the outfit? Obviously, the next step is going to be trying to catch cancer from Delores. Honey is under the impression that cancer is an STD. Hilarity and/or sexiness will ensue.

    Slylock: “Damn it, you stupid snake, you’re strangling him all wrong!”

  21. Alice
    February 23rd, 2013 at 6:46 am [Reply]

    @Huckleberry Fink (#13): The “camel toe” bit is the Second Law of Evans.

  22. Ratiocinator
    February 23rd, 2013 at 6:56 am [Reply]

    @Ratiocinator (#20):

    Okay, here’s the story. Back when I was a kid of maybe 12 years old, my sister was big into horseback riding. I visited a lot of stables with her, and my parents, and on this particular day, my aunt. At most of these stables I saw a lot of horses and cats and, from what I could tell, they were all pretty healthy and content.

    On this particular day, at this particular stable, we came across a mother cat who was very obviously not healthy, and her two kittens who were also not healthy.

    I’m 36 now, so I’ve had a lot of time to forget the exact symptoms. So I fired off an e-mail to my aunt yesterday and asked her if she could tell me what had been wrong with them. My aunt’s got a thing for taking in strays, and she’s owned around 5-10 cats at any given time. Crazy Cat Lady? If you take away the “crazy”, maybe, although it’s possible that some of you will think what she did on this particular day was crazy, and maybe some of you won’t. The point is that she had a lot of experience with cats in all kinds of states of health, and she immediately recognized what was wrong with these particular cats.

    Here is what my aunt told me in her e-mail: Upper Respiratory Infection. Here is a link to what that is, if you’re interested:

    http://pets.webmd.com/cats/guide/upper-respiratory-infection-cats

    As for the symptoms: all three cats were congested, having difficulty breathing, and the eyelids of the kittens were “glued shut” from the bacterial infections in their eyes.

    Now, seeing an animal in distress is not pleasant. I would hope not for anybody, but not for me, and certainly not for my aunt. So she went to the owner of the stable and told her that these kittens needed to be treated for the infection. (I remember something being said about it being too late for the mother.) The owner of the stable basically responded by saying “Meh, they’ll be fine.”

    My aunt said to me “Okay, I’m just gonna take those kittens to the nearest vet right now. Want to help?”

    I said yes.

    We took them to the car, drove them to a vet, and after they got the treatment they needed they ended up fine. They weren’t taken back to the stable. My aunt took them in instead. The stable owner wasn’t happy about it, but she didn’t press charges or anything.

    My parents thought she’d overreacted. I disagreed. I thought it was the right thing to do back then, and still think so today.

    As it pertains to 9CL: abuse and/or neglect is a good reason for taking an animal away from somebody, IMO. Namecalling? Not so much.

  23. gleeb
    February 23rd, 2013 at 7:25 am [Reply]

    3-G: The false memory part of Greg’s mind kicks in and makes him forget that he did guess, but talked himself out of it.

    ‘shaft: An old man is tortured by nightmares. Good, because he’s a real bastard. Oh, and it’s probably funny, but no one said so.

    ‘bean: You know what would have been interesting? To see Lefty, the actual currently working music educator, teaching and learning about current trends in music education. Instead, we had this deaf old fart bloviating. Forget the first movement, just get to the end of the coda, please.

    Groves, Parisian operator!: So, after spending an entire day asking everyone but Neddy, Abbey finally realizes that her daughter is the one person most likely to be able to explain her own banking situation.

    Brev,: Please enjoy this old political cartoon from 1992.

    Dick: She cut his forehead. With a softball. Wouldn’t the sweat pouring into his eyes be plausible enough for explain his forthcoming grisly doom? And speaking of that, the civil engineers in Chicago punked us all by no making that a grade crossing.

    Thorp: And of course, Coach Gil has no idea what’s been going on with his team all season.

    Non Sequitur: It’s a fart joke.

  24. bats :[
    February 23rd, 2013 at 7:51 am [Reply]

    I love the second panel in Phantom today (heck, the whole strip is beautifully rendered). I’m eagerly anticipating Monday!

    In the meantime, you can have the sublime or the ridiculous.

  25. pugfuggly
    February 23rd, 2013 at 8:02 am [Reply]

    RMMD Rex and wife seem to have their Usual Suspects faces on. I think that they just realized that this whole thing was an elaborate set-up to swindle $10 000 of their pocket money.

    HtH Hagar seems genuinely confused by Grandpa’s ‘over 21′ request. It’s a sex slave, gramps, I think an age of consent doesn’t really matter if the person isn’t consenting in the first place.

    MW Strangely enough, that’s a cook book he’s reading. I believe it’s the recipe for ‘You Don’t Know What You’ve Got til it’s Gumbo.”

  26. Liam
    February 23rd, 2013 at 8:19 am [Reply]

    MW-I’m hoping for a plane crash or a hijacking.

    Spiderman-”Oh no! Peter and Daredevil are in San Francisco with a large phalic shaped object between them.”

    A3G-How do you know that it was Evans, Greg? There are lots of people who want to see Margo dead.

    Crankshaft-”They say that teaching your first person to drive is hard and that it gets easier with every person after but it never does.”

    FC-Mommy’s pot could use a good stirring. Daddy hasn’t done a good job of stirring in a long time.

    FW-It’s funny because this strip is constantly about death and the bleakness of life.

    Gil Thorp-I know that birds is a slang usage for women. Is that what’s going on? Women problems?

    Pluggers-Grandpa’s dead.

    RMMD-And what is the Morgan’s cut of that? Don’t make June use her pimp hand.

    Archie-It’s nice to see Archie with a shirt with his name on it to remind him who he is.

  27. Here Come the Judge
    February 23rd, 2013 at 8:21 am [Reply]

    Mary Worth: John Dill is actually thinking, “How is it that this entire plane is friggin’ empty, and yet I get stuck sitting next to the loser in the checked blue sport coat.”

    Take heart, John- you may have lost something you never had, but at least you got the window seat.

  28. Liam
    February 23rd, 2013 at 8:33 am [Reply]

    MW-”Which stewardess do I have to fuck to get over my heart break of losing Mary Worth? I think I’ll do the blonde.”

  29. KreatureFeatures
    February 23rd, 2013 at 8:40 am [Reply]

    MW: According to the internets, John is reading either Oscar Wilde or Albert Einstein. I would have to go with Einstein, because John would have to understand some serious physics to have constructed that gravity-defying monstrosity of a cake.

  30. Lumaca Morente
    February 23rd, 2013 at 8:43 am [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#25): ‘You don’t know what you’ve got til it’s Gumbo’ is the title of the next Rose is Rose anthology.

  31. Lumaca Morente
    February 23rd, 2013 at 8:43 am [Reply]

    Family Circus is much more interesting if you imagine that Jeffy is standing in his parents’ bedroom doorway.

  32. KreatureFeatures
    February 23rd, 2013 at 8:59 am [Reply]

    Gil Thorp: Ric appears to be digging his fingers deep into his face. Perhaps he will peel off his face to reveal a titanium skull ala The Terminator? Because if that happened, Gil Thorp would become interesting, at long last.

  33. Little Blue Bicycle
    February 23rd, 2013 at 9:02 am [Reply]

    MW: “Why are you reading this crap when I have several books that are much better? Oh, look, there’s a gremlin on the wing.” –Albert Camus

  34. Where's Queek?
    February 23rd, 2013 at 9:02 am [Reply]

    We need Love Is commentary, stat.

  35. Colin Bowel
    February 23rd, 2013 at 9:10 am [Reply]

    Funky: Ha ha ha ha ha … movement.

  36. Ratiocinator
    February 23rd, 2013 at 9:10 am [Reply]

    @Where’s Queek? (#34): I’ll fill in as best I can until queek shows up.

    Love Is: engaging in anal while careening out of control down a steep incline at breakneck (perhaps literally) speeds.

  37. Anonymous
    February 23rd, 2013 at 9:17 am [Reply]

    Sally: Ted has heard of Einstein and DaVinci, but I doubt he knows about Tesla.
    H&L: Everyone smiles at Mom except the two boys, who are having an Oedipal reaction to Mom looking hot.
    A3G: How and when did Evan get out of the closet?

  38. Anonymous
    February 23rd, 2013 at 9:18 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#3): Nice Joni Mitchell reference!

  39. Liam
    February 23rd, 2013 at 9:21 am [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#37):

    Evan was in the closet? I didn’t even know that he was gay.

  40. John C Fremont
    February 23rd, 2013 at 9:24 am [Reply]

    @Mr. O’Malley (#y379): Packing a picnic to watch the show sounds a little bizarre at first, but if the farmer in question was Motel Hell’s Farmer Vincent, I’d pay extra just to see the show.

    @Liam (#26): Spiderman and Daredevil are – The Ambiguously Gay Duo!

    9CL – The cat, too? I guess it really does take all kinds of critters to make Farmer Vincent’s fritters.

    The Lost Bear – “Rock and Roll Martian…”

    Crankshaft – We didn’t really need Batiuk to tell us that this is where dreams go to die, but it’s nice to know he was thinking of us.

    @Where’s Queek? (#34): @Ratiocinator (#36): Ooh! I’ve got one, Mister Kotter!
    “Love is… like oxygen.
    You get too much, you get too high,
    Not enough and they’ll forget all about the really good songs you recorded before this horrid little number.”

    Are there prizes? I’ll take mine in cash. My concern is that, you know, it could bump me into a higher tax, uh…

  41. Ratiocinator
    February 23rd, 2013 at 9:30 am [Reply]

    @John C Fremont (#40): I actually liked “Love Is Like Oxygen”, but then again the only other song I’ve heard by Sweet is “Ballroom Blitz”. So maybe after I listen to more pre-1978 songs by them I’ll agree with you that it doesn’t measure up.

  42. John C Fremont
    February 23rd, 2013 at 9:44 am [Reply]

    MW – “In Soviet Union, dreams lose you in – uh… wait here while I run next door and see if The Oak Ridge Boys have an extra punchline lying around that I can use.”

    @Ratiocinator (#41): If you ever watch the deleted scenes from Kung Pow! Enter The Fist, you’ll never think of their song Little Willy the same way again.

  43. Dagger33
    February 23rd, 2013 at 9:49 am [Reply]

    Judging by their expressions, I think Rex and June are just horrified to learn that money exists in amounts lower than six figures.

  44. remmy
    February 23rd, 2013 at 9:50 am [Reply]

    It’s been a grand morning! Remember back in 9CL when Amos was laying right on top of blond bimbo looking like they were humping on a stage (the arc is the proposal). I got so pissed off that I contacted a paper about dropping the comic. I just got notification that they ARE GOING TO DO IT. Take that Brooke – one more step towards the poor house for you and your pretentious ilk!

  45. remmy
    February 23rd, 2013 at 9:52 am [Reply]

    @Ratiocinator (#41):
    Great band SWEET
    Little Willy
    Ballroom Blitz
    Fox on the Run
    Action
    Love is Like Oxygen

    good stuff indeed

  46. Old Folkie
    February 23rd, 2013 at 9:55 am [Reply]

    #s 37 and 38 are mine – for some reason my tag had been dropped.

  47. Mibbitmaker
    February 23rd, 2013 at 9:56 am [Reply]

    MW: Aldo: “What? Dull Dill just gets on a plane and pines away? No hounding the old bat till she caves? No going killer drunk driving in defeat? Just move on wistfully?! Cee-ripes, what a pantywaist!”
    “You still here, Hellboy? Get back down there to your firey work detail, you load!” — Albert Camus

    RMMD: “What?! They just got a ton of dough for their worthy cause?! Hey, we’re the ones who’re supposed to get quick easy money! We’re the regular Woody Wilson characters here! And that cash cow is supposed to be for vain luxury, not no furshlugginer cause! Jeez, wait’ll the Spenser-Driver-Parkers here of this!” — Rex and June, in unison

    HtH: “I know just the thing”, said Hagar in response. “I don’t know much about her, but her name is Jaka, and she’s quite the lap dancer….”

    JP: Gidget’s dad is aging well…

    MW: So ends the story of the man competing to make TV-worthy cakes, with Mary’s “help”. Can’t wait till her next task… involves a father-son motorcycle business and some familial tensions, I believe…..

  48. Chip
    February 23rd, 2013 at 10:02 am [Reply]

    John Dill finds solace in the comforting words of the Bible.

    Meanwhile, over at Apartment 3-G, Evan’s plan comes together, as he voluntarily confesses to arson and attempted murder, after dropping off that bomb in a Christmas present, on New Year’s Eve.

  49. jim, some guy in iowa
    February 23rd, 2013 at 10:04 am [Reply]

    9cl: i’m really impressed with the feat of carrying a squirmy 80 pound calf, and a cat, so effortlessly, and without even looking back to make sure mama cow doesn’t get mad and head butt her for taking the calf.

    all in all this veterinarian has more superpowers than spiderman

  50. TheDiva
    February 23rd, 2013 at 10:06 am [Reply]

    HtH: Special cameo by Lord Walder Frey!

    MW: So, who wants to tell John that he accidentally got on a subway car instead of a plane?

  51. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 23rd, 2013 at 10:13 am [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#24): It IS beautifully done, isn’t it?

    // Say, how DO you do your call-outs, or word balloons? Getting those right is the hardest part of a mashup for me. Is it a Photoshop add-in of some sort?

  52. Mibbitmaker
    February 23rd, 2013 at 10:14 am [Reply]

    @John C Fremont (#40): Aw, I like “Love is like Oxygen”, too! As well as the other Sweet songs.

    Little Willy – an AM radio staple during the Watergate years of my pre-teendom. Although the song lyrically works better for the Lewinsky scandal, as Mr. Clinton’s refrain against Ken Starr.

    Ballroom Blitz – Nice hard rock boogie.

    Fox on the Run – Follow-up to “Band on the Run”, perhaps? Baby, they were born to run! (nice follow-up to Blitz, actually)

    Action – Great rockin’ number as well. I especially like the ending
    (“ACTION!…ACTION…ACTION…action…action…..”)

    Love is Like Oxygen – Nice album rock epic. Gotta hear the long version, though. It’s like a number of styles in one long song: Hard(ish) rock, then soft rock, then hard again, then soft instrumental pop, then build-up to hard rock instrumental, then back to hard(ish) rock, then finally ending in disco.

  53. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 23rd, 2013 at 10:19 am [Reply]

    Dilbert: they used Comics Sans, didn’t they?

    Lio: d’awwwwwww. (Tatulli does wonderful things with the borders.)

    R&R: *chuckles* *whoseagooddog*

    Zits: he’ll learn, eventually, to never ask questions like that.

    DT: yesterthread’s C&H suggestion is looking more likely by the panel.

    MG&G: *snurk* Satchel, take notes.

    PMP: drat. Plan B. . . .

    RwO: wow. that’s deeper than the funny pages usually get.

    6Cx & SF share a love for Poteet today.

    Retail: guest-starring the guy from the FedEx commercials from two decades back.

  54. Ratiocinator
    February 23rd, 2013 at 10:20 am [Reply]

    @jim, some guy in iowa (#49): That’s actually a good point. If this cow has enough maternal instinct to follow the person taking her calf, then she should have enough maternal instinct to go “HEY! HEY! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH MY CALF?! STOP, THIEF! MAMA COW SMASH!

    Not that I’m any kind of expert on cow behaviour, but I know that most animals don’t appreciate this sort of thing, with bears being the most well-known example.

  55. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 23rd, 2013 at 10:24 am [Reply]

    Love Is . . .all downhill from here.

  56. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 23rd, 2013 at 10:33 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#3): Mary Mirthless: Would this be funnier if Mary had seen John leave in a big yellow taxi?

    They took all the trees, and put them in the arboretum.

  57. Bill Murray
    February 23rd, 2013 at 10:34 am [Reply]

    Sunday’s Mary Worth follows up today’s Oscar Wilde quote with a dueling set of quotes

    Mary (as she thinks of John): Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.

    John (dreaming of Mary and how he is Mary’s true friend): True friends stab you in the front

  58. TheDiva
    February 23rd, 2013 at 10:43 am [Reply]

    Hey, the Oscars are this Sunday, so check out the new Know the Score on the soundtrack and original song nominees!

    9CL: So, apparently you can just pick up an animal that weighs about as much as a twelve-year-old (but without the tractable disposition), as well as another animal with high flexibility and claws that depending on temperament might not want to be picked up by strangers/at all, and you can carry both held in front of you effortlessly with no trouble whatsoever. Must be those Honorary Burber genes.

    A3G: Did I miss the part where Evan’s motivation for blowing up Margo was explained? (Besides the fact that, you know, it’s Margo?) Or is this just one of those “he’s evil, go with it” things?

    C’shaft: It’s funny because The Kids These Days are terrible drivers! Unlike Crankshaft, who…um…

    FW: “Wasn’t there a one-armed woman who was with us at some point?” “Yeah, what happened to her?….Eh, I’m sure she wasn’t important…”

    Luann: Shame on you, Tiffany! Only hussies like you do anything as shameful as flirting!

    Phantom: So now the Phantom has ineffectual spider-sense too?

    SM: Something tells me this news footage would play well to “Yakety Sax.”

  59. bbofun
    February 23rd, 2013 at 10:44 am [Reply]

    DT- One of those moments I’m glad I waited on snarking- the other day, I thought it was wrong for the train engineer to say there was an “open stretch’ ahead when, clearly, they were going to run into Sweatbox’s car, assuming that meant a crossing. Nope, the DT team did not disappoint- although now ‘m wondering if his car will just end up ON the train, instead of being run over by it.

    9CL- Okay, I was wrong yesterday- I figured we were in for at least a few more days of talking before we got to the abduction. But that’s basically because I didn’t realize just how FUCKING STUPID the actual crime would be. Oh, just wondering- did she walk all the way home carrying the calf? Did she just bring it to the car, and the cow followed the car to her home (running at 30-40 mph the whole way?) Did you somehow get the cow into the car (or truck, I would assume at this point) but you neglected to mention how you secured both calf and cow for the trip?

    AND WHERE DID THE CAT COME FROM?

  60. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 23rd, 2013 at 10:47 am [Reply]

  61. Ratiocinator
    February 23rd, 2013 at 10:51 am [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#58):

    “Wasn’t there a one-armed woman who was with us at some point?” “Yeah, what happened to her?….Eh, I’m sure she wasn’t important…”

    What I find surprising is that Becky didn’t make a break for it sooner.

    @Mibbitmaker (#52): @remmy (#45): @John C Fremont (#42): After listening to all the songs mentioned, thanks to all of you for pointing me to them! I’d actually forgotten that they were the ones to record “Action”, having only heard Def Leppard’s cover of that song before today. (In my entirely subjective opinion, the original is a little better.)

    “Fox On The Run” rocks, and I still haven’t gotten around to seeing Kung Pow, but I’ll take your word for it, John.

  62. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 23rd, 2013 at 10:54 am [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#50): *golf clap @ GoT ref*

    well played!

  63. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 23rd, 2013 at 10:56 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#56): *digs out $1.50 to see ‘em.*

    be careful as you pass, there’s a real blade of grass.

  64. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 23rd, 2013 at 10:56 am [Reply]

    Agnes: It seems odd that children of today would ever have heard “The Ballad of the Green Berets”. Howsoever, I am just thankful that I can’t for the life of me remember how it goes, though I do know that I loathed it and it was a horrible earworm. Otherwise I’d be yelling, “Booga booga booga…”, too. // Don’t bother putting up a Youtube link. I WON’T go there.

    Pooch Cafe: Wally Wood’s 22 Panels that Always Work. No. 1: Big Head.

    Sherman’s Lagoon: “To Serve Crabkind”

    MW: THIS is the “end of the story line” quote? What will they do for Sunday?! And it’s not even mis-attributed to somebody famous. Listen, Moy, you can’t just go making stuff up. That’s called writing!

  65. bbofun
    February 23rd, 2013 at 10:59 am [Reply]

    Sorry- so upset I hit post a little early.

    Luann- Okay, so I understand Evans couldn’t actually have Tiffany say “You guys are masturbating to each other over Skype,” since this is a newspaper strip, but that’s the ONLY way to read this that makes Luann’s reaction even slightly logical. It is, however, much more fun to think that Luann actually believes flirting over Skype is somehow a mortal sin.

    RMMD- I’ll say this about Honey- she bounces back quickly! And bounces up and down, and side to side…

    Sorry, went away there for a moment. Having known a few people (men and women) who had the same intellectual qualities as Honey (not necessarily “dumb”- just more emotional than rational- which can be a good thing), this isn’t entirely bad writing- they tend to bounce (uhhh- bouncing- oops, sorry) back faster than more “rational” types from despair.

    For example- Rex and June’s shock that other people are experiencing a financial windfall that they will get none of will probably last for hours- or, at least, until the moment they find out what they’re getting out of it.

  66. bbofun
    February 23rd, 2013 at 11:03 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#64): Let’s at least give Moy props for not attributing it to Oscar Wilde, as it was on at least one site (yes, I googled it). Tomorrow, I’m betting, will probably be either Mary with her inner circle, having pink food, praising her, or an “Ask Wendy” column.

  67. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 23rd, 2013 at 11:07 am [Reply]

    MT: In these fishing tournaments, do they just put all the fish each competitor catches in a sack and weigh it? Seems like there ought to be more than that to it.

  68. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 23rd, 2013 at 11:12 am [Reply]

    @bbofun (#66): Let’s at least give Moy props for not attributing it to Oscar Wilde, as it was on at least one site…

    You are right. Maybe she’s learning? Albert Camus would be pleased.

  69. The Right Venerable Pasdordan
    February 23rd, 2013 at 11:13 am [Reply]

    Alley Oop: “That’s ‘Alley, Alley, all-in-come-free,’ motherf-er.” <Crunch>

    The Amazing Spider-Man: Oh no! I forgot to put my…ahem…neck massager back in its box!

    Apt. 3-G: To review: Evan kissed Margo once or twice, stood her up on a date, sold her out to his Aunt Kathy, and then planted a bomb in her closet. Not even on Sex and the City did you see a dating progression that messed up.

    9 Chickweed Lane: Here’s a fun fact: my one cat’s name was originally “Pendejo,” because he bit me the first time we met.[*] Should our vet take him away from us?

    Crock: I was sure the punchline was going to be “Venereal disease?” Just sure of it, I tell you.

    Dick Tracy: I am going to be very disappointed if this doesn’t end with Sweatbox skidding off the road, falling onto the tracks, and getting punted all the way to Waukegan by a road runner wearing a head lamp.

    Heathcliff: Does that mean Heathcliff is your – oh, never mind.

    Henry: I know the feeling, Hank, I know the feeling…

    The Lockhorns: It’s funny because you can’t actually tell who’s speaking the punchline!

    Luann: Remember, kids: people who point out that you might be using communication technology in the way that millions of other separated couples have used it in the past are sluts.

    Mark Trail: Before today, I wouldn’t have thought you could get the phrase “Rod beat me by seven pounds” in a family newspaper.

    Ziggy: I don’t know what’s worse, the thought that the author of this gag has apparently never been to a crap emporium antique store, or that he has, saw a talking fish, and thought “Hey, that’d make a funny joke for hundreds of thousands of elderly readers!”[*]

    Zippy the Pinhead: 1. Remember that cat Pendejo? After some arm-twisting by Mrs Pastor, I agreed to name him “Zippy,” half because he’s so fast in getting away from us, and half because he’s a pinhead. Anyway. 2. I hope it’s not too political for me to say that we’d all be a lot better off if more of our great national discourse focused on rice pudding.

  70. TheDiva
    February 23rd, 2013 at 11:20 am [Reply]

    @bbofun (#65): Since anybody who is the slightest bit romantically forward in the Luannverse is automatically and unilaterally evil, I’m not entirely sure that flirting isn’t considered a mortal sin in their world.

  71. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 23rd, 2013 at 11:23 am [Reply]

    @The Right Venerable Pasdordan (#69): 2. I hope it’s not too political for me to say that we’d all be a lot better off if more of our great national discourse focused on rice pudding.

    You rice-ist! What’s wrong with wrong with butterscotch, chocolate, or (yum) tapioca?!!

  72. The Right Venerable Pasdordan
    February 23rd, 2013 at 11:25 am [Reply]

    @Doctor Handsome (#15): It’s so Hagar doesn’t get jailed on a Mann Act beef.

  73. Brock Sampson
    February 23rd, 2013 at 11:28 am [Reply]

    I don’t know how this could have happened, but today’s Crock contains a joke that not only makes sense but is actually funny.

  74. Digger
    February 23rd, 2013 at 11:29 am [Reply]

    If Rex Morgan consisted of nothing but Rex and June’s gobsmacked facial expressions, it would be the funniest comic strip running.

  75. The Right Venerable Pasdordan
    February 23rd, 2013 at 11:30 am [Reply]

    @Here Come the Judge (#27): The seats aren’t actually empty. The passengers are bent over barfing in their bags at John’s mooning.

  76. Cloudbuster
    February 23rd, 2013 at 11:35 am [Reply]

    ASM: Life moves really fast in the Spideyverse! A newsman was able to recognize that there was a missile, that it was headed for DareDevil and Spider-Man and get it on the news in real time. Given that a Patriot missile moves at Mach 3 to Mach 5, and even a pokey Sidewinder moves at Mach 2.5, this is an incredible feat. The reporter has special super-reporter powers! Or … was tipped off by Kingpin! Bring that reporter in for questioning, please!

    Are we completely sure that Spidey and DD aren’t being chased by someone’s solar-powered remote-controlled toy blimp made up to look like a Missile?

    Their next battle? The 50-foot tall inflatable Winnie-the-Pooh from the Rose parade.

  77. Cloudbuster
    February 23rd, 2013 at 11:36 am [Reply]

    @Ratiocinator (#20): Out of everything that’s going on in the world, the television news media decides to provide live coverage of the exploits of two costumed superpowered vigilantes on the opposite coast, ignoring much more important stuff that their viewership really ought to know, but which isn’t as exciting to watch.

    Actually, that sounds about right.

  78. The Right Venerable Pasdordan
    February 23rd, 2013 at 11:38 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#71): Let us not forget the humble figgee.

  79. ralph
    February 23rd, 2013 at 11:39 am [Reply]

    9CL: This gets more preposterous every day. I could almost buy it as the idiot vet recounting the story to her friend, without the artist bothering to make any separation between the past and present. However, giving the “redneck scum” her inflated bill just before stealing the animals is just too much to make any kind of sense. If several hours or days have gone by, where the hell are the police? Why on earth did the scum just let her waltz away with their animals? I find it hard to believe that this cartoonist is going to end this story line in any way that doesn’t leave the idiot vet smelling like a rose. I of course would end it with the idiot vet losing her license, her practice, her property, and spending a few nights in the slammer. As for the scum, if the story line dictated that they really were hitting ol’ Bossy a little too hard, I’d sentence them to sharing the idiot vet’s cell. That’d learn ‘em! They’d become model citizens. “I’ll be good, I promise! Just keep that crazy woman away from me!”

  80. Cloudbuster
    February 23rd, 2013 at 11:41 am [Reply]

    @jim, some guy in iowa (#49): Creatures of Pure Art are immune to assault by mere beasts of the field. Apparently. But I’m still pretty disappointed McE didn’t take advantage of the obvious comedic potential of the vet lying face down in a muddy field with hoofprints all over her, cow and calf trotting back to the redneck brothers to see if there’s any grain to be had, and the cat looking down on the vet with the kind of disdain that only a cat can manage. I guess it’s only funny if it’s not happening to one of his oh-so-perfect characters.

  81. Cloudbuster
    February 23rd, 2013 at 11:43 am [Reply]

    @The Right Venerable Pasdordan (#69): my one cat’s name was originally “Pendejo,”

    You monster!

  82. Cloudbuster
    February 23rd, 2013 at 11:45 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#67): Usually the best five, according to the sites I found.

  83. Liam
    February 23rd, 2013 at 11:47 am [Reply]

    Hagar the Horrible-”Why does Grandpa get a sex slave and I don’t?”

    MT-”Rod beat me by seven pounds and three inches but enough about penis size this is about fishing.”

    MW-John’s seatmate is Tyler Durden.

    MW 2-John you think you have problems the guy sitting next to you has problems. He is having relationship troubles with his girlfriend who is a stewardess on the flight, he can’t get over the raid he led over Macho Grande, and he has a drinking problem.

  84. Calico
    February 23rd, 2013 at 11:49 am [Reply]

    John, Freedom’s just another word for nothin’ left to lose…

  85. Cloudbuster
    February 23rd, 2013 at 11:50 am [Reply]

    @bbofun (#59): One also wonders what she did with the big pickup truck with the utility bed full of equipment that all large animal vets take on farm calls. If she left it with the redneck brothers, I’d call that a fair trade for them! I’ll trade a cow, calf and cat for a decent pickup!

  86. Ian Beste
    February 23rd, 2013 at 11:51 am [Reply]

    Doones He he, tacos rule.

    JP Even giant decorative horseheads are entranced by Abby’s fabulous rack.

    @remmy (#45): “Fox on the Run” is one of those songs that is made to be sung along with, preferably while driving and drumming on the steering wheel.

  87. Ian Beste
    February 23rd, 2013 at 11:52 am [Reply]

    @Liam (#83): “No, I don’t think I’ll ever get over Macho Grande.”

  88. lynn
    February 23rd, 2013 at 12:00 pm [Reply]

    @bbofun (#65): Nice girls don’t flirt.
    //Hey! Live near Petaluma? Charles Siebert appearing in Arthur Miller’s ‘The Price’ in March! Will be worth the price of admission!

  89. Cloudbuster
    February 23rd, 2013 at 12:02 pm [Reply]

    A3G: The last straw was when Margo took Evan’s red Swingline stapler!

  90. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 23rd, 2013 at 12:02 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#64):

    Fighting soldiers, from the sky.
    Men who live, to jump and die. . . .

  91. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 23rd, 2013 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#90):

    oops.

    “fearless” men who jump and die.

  92. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 23rd, 2013 at 12:10 pm [Reply]

    Meanwhile, in Hootin’ Holler, sad news!

  93. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 23rd, 2013 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#90): Curse you, Queek! Curse you!!

    // Booga booga booga booga…

  94. Liam
    February 23rd, 2013 at 12:28 pm [Reply]

    A3G-A bomb? Evan left one of Greg’s movies in Margo’s closet?

  95. Gladly, the cross-eyed bear
    February 23rd, 2013 at 12:28 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#64): Silver wings…upon my chest…

  96. bats :[
    February 23rd, 2013 at 12:38 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#51): I use Photoshop. I have a few “nice” speech and thought balloons as individual .jpgs, that I’ll drop a color around, then erase that color (makes for a clean outer edge as a rule), then cut and paste the balloon into the strip. Hopefully there’s space afforded by an existing balloon than I can paste on top of, or something useless, like a Jack Elrod ball, the author/artist signatures (Moy and Giella), Rusty’s face, etc. I can doodle with the size of the balloons using the free transform before I flatten the image and add smart-ass dialogue.

  97. Where's Queek?
    February 23rd, 2013 at 12:45 pm [Reply]

    @Ratiocinator (#36): Ahh, thank you.

  98. Calico
    February 23rd, 2013 at 12:45 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#12):
    Grandad’s fifth Goomah.

  99. Inexplicable Bear Tongue
    February 23rd, 2013 at 12:49 pm [Reply]

    RMMD: Boy, June sure got over the whole “Hey, what’s trying to seduce your husband between friends?” quick.

    I’m a bit surprised by $10000 myself. For a party at an open apartment complex with alcohol, a pool, and strippers, it seemed oddly boring. For $75, one stripper will get bored and wander off to an apartment by herself, and another stripper, who’s the beneficiary of this party, will show up dressed like a university professor – Note I didn’t add “Sexy” to that description – and talk to no one before going off to bed by herself.

  100. Calico
    February 23rd, 2013 at 12:50 pm [Reply]

    @Ratiocinator (#22):
    You did the right thing. Bless you and your aunt.
    Stories like these make me cringe, but at least this one had a happy ending.
    My Mom’s neighbor Jim built insulated cat condos for the ferals years ago, adn My Mom “has” a feral girl that comes for food 3 times a day, but when my Mom tries to approach her, she runs away. Shame as she is a beauty.

  101. Inexplicable Bear Tongue
    February 23rd, 2013 at 12:51 pm [Reply]

    Add: But hey! I get to see that doctor that performed CPR on an old woman, from across the room. Surely that’s worth something.

  102. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 23rd, 2013 at 12:52 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#96): Thanks for the tips. I like that “drop the color around and erase” idea.

  103. Calico
    February 23rd, 2013 at 12:53 pm [Reply]

    @Inexplicable Bear Tongue (#99):
    In Vermont, the party/community shopping/donation/eating out/auction fundraisers are pretty popular, and they do help our buddies who need extra dinero for med bills, treatments, rent, etc. Good people.

  104. Baka Gaijin
    February 23rd, 2013 at 12:53 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#26) on Spiderman: Too bad there’s no COTW this week. This could be it.

    @Liam (#28): John Dill with a stewardess? Oh yeah right. That’s as likely as Sam Spencer cracking open his wallet and paying for something.

    @remmy (#45): Yes, the 70′s was a great musical decade. For some reason I doubt in 2 or 3 generations anyone will be listening to “Oops, I did it again” or, uh, what’s that song that’s so popular with the kids today? Yeah, that one.

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#64) on Agnes: Some kids will have heard it. Their parents, who also read the unmentionable duck-related strip, play it every weekend to impress upon their offspring how worthless they are since they’re not going to ‘Nam and giving their lives for the Gub’mint.

  105. The Right Venerable Pasdordan
    February 23rd, 2013 at 12:57 pm [Reply]

    @lynn (#88): Are you telling us this because the restraining order won’t let you attend in person?

  106. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 23rd, 2013 at 12:58 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#104): Baka Gagnam Style!

    (whoop! whoop! whoop-whoop!)

  107. Fritz Basset
    February 23rd, 2013 at 1:00 pm [Reply]

    RMMD – Is this the same Honey from the Bobby Goldsboro “hit”? When are the angels going to come and put her out of her misery?

  108. Will
    February 23rd, 2013 at 1:13 pm [Reply]

    SFx: The drawing of Slylock admonishing the snake is unironically funny. That is all.

  109. Baka Gaijin
    February 23rd, 2013 at 1:17 pm [Reply]

    @bbofun (#65) on Luann: I hadn’t thought of that. Whatever hysterical blindness is that hits the brain, that’s what I want right about NOW.

    @bbofun (#66): Tomorrow will be Mary and that blonde chick walking through the grounds of Charterstone, Mary masturbating her own ego. Mary’s found it’s more enjoyable when someone watches.

    @The Right Venerable Pasdordan (#75): Occam’s Razor at work, you are.

    @lynn (#88): “The Price” is showing? I hope they play Plinko, The Matterhorn, and The Checkout Game. Love that Checkout Game. They always get the most clueless people who think the can of peas costs 25 cents.

  110. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 23rd, 2013 at 1:28 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#104): Their parents, who also read the unmentionable duck-related strip, play it every weekend…

    Oh. The 2 minute 36 second Hate.

  111. jim, some guy in iowa
    February 23rd, 2013 at 1:28 pm [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#80): that *would* be funny…. about as likely as the parker/spencer/driver menage going broke from bad investments in silicone valley, though…

  112. Elk Meadow
    February 23rd, 2013 at 1:30 pm [Reply]

    Oh, no! I clicked on Uncle Lumpy’s intro link to look back on Honey’s dilemma, and got trapped by Charles in Charge!

  113. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 23rd, 2013 at 1:30 pm [Reply]

    @Gladly, the cross-eyed bear (#95): (booga booga booga…)

  114. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 23rd, 2013 at 1:32 pm [Reply]

    @The Right Venerable Pasdordan (#105): That’s Our Lynn!

    // New season starting this spring! Look for local listings.

  115. The Right Venerable Pasdordan
    February 23rd, 2013 at 1:34 pm [Reply]

    @Gladly, the cross-eyed bear (#95): You say that, and all I can hear is:

    Silver wings, shining in the sunlight
    Roaring engines, headed somewhere in flight…

  116. I speak Jive
    February 23rd, 2013 at 1:35 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#64): Put silver wings on my son’s chest…

    I have just discovered that the best way to replace an earworm is to create a new one with a song I like. The past couple of days I have been earworming I’ve Just Seen a Face. (Non-Beatle fans would probaby scream “Booga booga Booga!”)

  117. Baka Gaijin
    February 23rd, 2013 at 1:48 pm [Reply]

    I do not want to think about Jeffy “spooning.” Do. Not. Want.

    Won’t Alex in Doonesbury be ecstatic next month when Cool Ranch Doritos Taco Locos come to Taco Bell?

    I’ve been on mass transit of almost every kind all over the world. I recognise that “plane” in Mary Worth with the huge rounded-rectangular windows with thick sills, blue seats that have ersatz headrests and circular cabin lights. It’s a local train servicing the Venice, Italy, area and the view is about as interesting as Mr. Dill makes it seem.

    I know it’s an old trope but I laughed at Beetle Bailey. Inappropriately placed full plate dentures never loses its humor.

  118. remmy
    February 23rd, 2013 at 1:50 pm [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#52):
    Right on ALL accounts!

  119. Poteet
    February 23rd, 2013 at 1:50 pm [Reply]

    MW — Why am I never in an empty plane like that? Even most planes bound for small flyover-country airports are crammed these days, let alone planes going from CA to NY. I call massive amounts of bullshit.

  120. Poteet
    February 23rd, 2013 at 1:52 pm [Reply]

  121. Missal
    February 23rd, 2013 at 2:05 pm [Reply]

    MW/Hagar: What makes this fake quotation truly special (i.e., stupid) is the inexplicable switch in pronouns. How can “I” lose something that “you” never had?

  122. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    February 23rd, 2013 at 2:06 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#92): And I just assumed John Dill’s plane crashed because it was weighed down by that massive pink cake.

    @bats :[ (#96): Giving trade secrets away? And I would have paid top dollar for that information.

  123. Peanut Gallery
    February 23rd, 2013 at 2:15 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#56): I didn’t take the bait the first time you brought it up, and I’m still not sure if you’re really serious, but I feel I must rise to the defense of the “tree museum” lyric.

    An arboretum is an outdoor collection of living trees. The line “They took all the trees, put them in a tree museum” conjures up the image of an indoor museum full of dead trees. An arboretum could be just as nice as the “paradise” that was paved over (even if, for some perverse reason, they had to move the trees to a new location), whereas a “tree museum,” no matter how cheerful, well-lit, and informative, would be a very sad substitute.

    But if you don’t like my interpretation, I’ll give you a chance to get even. (Ahem) “Gee, I sure hope no one blurts out the ending of Sir Harry Hotspur of Humblethwaite before I’ve had a chance to finish it!”

  124. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    February 23rd, 2013 at 2:19 pm [Reply]

    A3BOMBSQUAD Bomb? What kind of lame-ass bomb was that? It wasn’t even a very good incendiary device. Aunt Cathy must be so disappointed in Evan.

    Luann Revealing display of Luann’s demon face in panel 2. I guess Evans has a pretty small range of expression available for his Potato-Head characters. But is the only way he can portray Tiffany as the “pretty girl” – to make Luann so damned homely?

    Cranked shaft Huh? Shouldn’t it be “nightmares”? Otherwise, it’s not really funny. Oh. Never mind.

  125. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    February 23rd, 2013 at 2:22 pm [Reply]

    @Missal (#121):

    How can “I” lose something that “you” never had?

    Keane Kids do it all the time!
    “Ida Know”
    “Not Me”
    “Piss Off”

  126. bats :[
    February 23rd, 2013 at 2:28 pm [Reply]

  127. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    February 23rd, 2013 at 2:35 pm [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#47):

    MW: Aldo: “What? Dull Dill just gets on a plane and pines away? No hounding the old bat till she caves? No going killer drunk driving in defeat?

    I missed the whole Aldo story. But because it keeps coming up here, I searched THE COMICS CURMUDGEON archives and was able to pretty much read it all. It’s hard to imagine how anything in Mary Worth could ever top that!
    My guess is that someone *cough*Toby*cough* got to Dill and threatened warned him about pressing Mary too hard for romance. I’m surprised Dill would even allow himself to think about it now.

  128. Gladly, the cross-eyed bear
    February 23rd, 2013 at 2:37 pm [Reply]

    @Gladly, the cross-eyed bear (#95): I guess I wasn’t queek enough.

  129. Clint Brawny
    February 23rd, 2013 at 2:55 pm [Reply]

    What was the average lifespan of a viking? 35 years? Grandpa is probably asking for someone right around his own age.

  130. John C Fremont
    February 23rd, 2013 at 2:59 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#104): Thanks to Richard Thompson, some of us will still be listening to Oops, I Did It Again over the years.

  131. Dr. Pill
    February 23rd, 2013 at 3:03 pm [Reply]

    @Amos Snarkadder, CQB (#122): Isn’t the purpose of making a cake to eat it? Did anyone taste a piece of the Dill/Worth creation to judge its worth (heh-heh) as a dessert, its true function? And if so, is that person still alive?

  132. Baka Gaijin
    February 23rd, 2013 at 3:08 pm [Reply]

    @Amos Snarkadder, CQB (#127): Aldomania 2006 was a summer of magic, a summer of entertainment, a summer of Mary scowling and cutting the heads off of roses. It’s also the summer when many long-timers joined the CC due to Aldomania hitting the mainstream media, alerting us to someone “who reads the comics so I don’t have to.”

    @John C Fremont (#130): Luckily for me I can’t get YouTube here.

    @Dr. Pill (#131): That cake almost took 3 lives: Margo Magee, Professor Blowhard who’s name I forget, and that guy who looks like every other guy in the Apartment 3-G universe. And that’s just from the smell!

  133. Poteet
    February 23rd, 2013 at 3:09 pm [Reply]

    @Ratiocinator (#22): Your aunt won’t get any condemnation from me. I’m tired of irresponsible cat ownership. (General warning to all, rant ahead.) I live-trap cats, take them to a vet for treatment and then the shelter, and do what I can to help find them good homes. If a cat is trapped on my land and has no tag/collar and is a non-neutered adult (and that’s the only kind trapped so far), I say I have the right to take charge. My own cats are kept indoors with recreation in roofed outdoor enclosures. New solid research shows cats kill from 1.7 billion to 3.4 billion birds in the continental U.S. every year. I love cats but I also love meadowlarks, dickcissels, and other ground-nesting grassland birds, and they are declining fast.

    As for this very blecchy vet in the very blecchy 9CL, my sympathies to the cow, calf, and cat.

  134. Poteet
    February 23rd, 2013 at 3:11 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#126): That last panel is glorious.

  135. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 23rd, 2013 at 3:32 pm [Reply]

    RMMD: Behold the culture shock of Rex and June, stranded among people who think 10 thousand is a substantial amount of money.

    JP: “I had to expel her for raiding my secret stash of black lipstick.”

    MW: Maybe John Dill should bookmark “The Favorite Platitudes of Albert Camus” and ask himself why he and the guy next to him are the only passengers on the plane.

    Pluggers: Pluggers have the cutest way of flailing their arms when they keel over with a heart attack.

    Zits: Jeremy lost his memory when Sara rubbed against him and made the blood rush away from his head.

    HOTC: Rhett shot first!

    FW: “Speaking of first movements, the Metamucil just kicked in.”

    H&L: Ditto and Chip are the only Flagstons who don’t look delighted. Maybe they foresee their dreams taking on a disturbingly Oedipal cast tonight.

    GT: “What, do I look like Mark Trail. Now that I think of it I sort of do, only with a little more facial detail. Anyway, what about birds?”

    Phantom: “Lioness, did you and I…?”
    “Just some light petting, then you passed out.”

    6C: The sorcerous lecher has a long serpent immune to the laws of gravity. Need he say more?

    Luann: If Tiffany is actually planning to go down to Oz and meet up with Quill in person, this could lead to an interesting and informative travel narrative. It won’t, of course, but theoretically it could.

    A3G: I think we’re missing the panel where a flabbergasted Greg’s hand flies up and smacks Gabby in the eye. That’s a nice little shiner she’s got.

  136. Cloudbuster
    February 23rd, 2013 at 3:33 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#126): *sniff* Awww! That’s sweet!

  137. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 23rd, 2013 at 3:36 pm [Reply]

    @Amos Snarkadder, CQB (#124):
    “But Aunt Cathy, all that property damage, just because Margo was living there! At the very least her insurance premiums will go up.”
    “Evan, you fool! Her kind always finds a loophole.”

  138. Peanut Gallery
    February 23rd, 2013 at 3:36 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#104):

    For some reason I doubt in 2 or 3 generations anyone will be listening to “Oops, I did it again” or, uh, what’s that song that’s so popular with the kids today?

    No! “The Macarena” will never fall out of fashion!

  139. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 23rd, 2013 at 3:41 pm [Reply]

    @Inexplicable Bear Tongue (#99): The other two flaking out does put a lot of pressure on Ginger. Maybe she’s a juggler in addition to being an ecdysiast.

  140. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 23rd, 2013 at 3:51 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#139): “ecdysiast” — fulgent word, that. Coined by H.L. Mencken, Himself.

  141. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 23rd, 2013 at 3:52 pm [Reply]

    @bbofun (#59): There’s been some talk recently about Luann and how if you’re going to portray a character as a villain, they kind of have to do something villainous. Likewise how your hero has to have some likeable traits or the whole thing goes off the rails. There are grey areas to be sure, but the same criticism applies to this plotline in 9CL. The redneck scum called in a reputable vet – not that I’m sure how she acquired this reputation – in order to look after their cow. She’s the one who reneged on the deal. Also they were keeping the cow and her calf in proximity with each other, not something the worst of factory farms do. At the very least you’d think they merit some benefit of the doubt.

  142. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 23rd, 2013 at 3:53 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#140): Thus ensuring the Sage of Baltimore his place in the history of the English language.

  143. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    February 23rd, 2013 at 3:55 pm [Reply]

    @Dr. Pill (#131):

    Isn’t the purpose of making a cake to eat it?

    Dill packed that sucker up so that he can show it off to Chef Pierre. It was hell getting into the overhead bin. Hell, that is, for the flight attendants. And, sadly, after all that effort, Chef Pierre will be unimpressed (“Pft”). But, by now, John realizes he never had it.

    @Baka Gaijin (#132):

    Aldomania 2006 was a summer of magic…

    Indeed it must have been! What’s amazing is that CC may be the most complete on-line archive available for Aldomania. Where else could you find it? Was there a hard-bound post-release? A made-for-TV movie? An after-school special?

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#137):

    Her kind always finds a loophole.

    No doubt that’s how Margo found her way to our universe.

  144. margo! boxcar! saturn!
    February 23rd, 2013 at 4:00 pm [Reply]

    MT: Can we just cut to the chase? The van is literally SWIMMING with bass, redolent with bass, stuffed to the gills with bass. And they are probably gills taken from bass. Paul McCartney is playing these bass left-handed. switching from Rickenbacker to smallmouth between sets. Cripes, Mark, will you just frikkin’ PUNCH Bassy or Catfish or Guppy McTroutbritches or ANYBODY?

  145. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 23rd, 2013 at 4:03 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#123):
    “A museum is an institution that cares for (conserves) a collection of artifacts and other objects of scientific, artistic, cultural, or historical importance and makes them available for public viewing through exhibits that may be permanent or temporary.” Wiki.

    I would say that an arboretum qualifies as a class of museum, trees being objects of scientific, artistic, cultural, and historical importance.

    // I would have never suspected that YOU, of all people were in the pockets of Big Joni Mitchell! Her tendrils reach far, indeed!

  146. Calico
    February 23rd, 2013 at 4:06 pm [Reply]

    Foob – yes, it’s a wonderful thing to pretend you are part of a family with latchkey kids and seemingly loose alcoholic “parents.”
    I don’t think so this time, Lynn – but it is probably best that you were there to help, ironically.

  147. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 23rd, 2013 at 4:07 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#145): tendrils.

    naughty, naughty tendrils.

  148. Alison
    February 23rd, 2013 at 4:13 pm [Reply]

    “Rex Morgan”: The reason Rex and June look so stunned in the last panel is because the party raised $10,000, and they are insulted by this puny number. “Ten thousand? That’s all? We can find more money than that between our couch cushions!” And then, to add insult to injury, Honey didn’t offer either of them any free tickets to a show or a restaurant.

    “Luann”: Only Luann would be stupid enough to actually feel threatened by this vague plan that will obviously never work. “I’m insinuating that I’m going to fly to Australia and seduce Quill, even though I’m a teenager with no job and no money to buy a plane ticket to Australia, and also I probably don’t even know where Quill lives because nobody ever specifies where he is, other than naming the entire country.” “BITCH, YOU WOULDN’T DARE!”

  149. Der Schnärkïnätör mit Ümläütën!
    February 23rd, 2013 at 4:35 pm [Reply]

    RMMD – I’m sure the girls made $10,000, and they did it $20 at a time!

  150. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 23rd, 2013 at 4:36 pm [Reply]

    Judge Parker — Be interesting to know if Groves was employed by the Remington Kirby family before he started working for the Spencer-Driver clan. Because there’s a strong resemblance to Desmond, the butler in Rip Kirby:

    http://worldofhurtonline.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/Desmond.jpg

    As far as I know, Desmond’s last name was never revealed in Rip Kirby. What if his full name was “Desmond Groves”? They could be father and son. Or maybe uncle and nephew.

  151. Majicou
    February 23rd, 2013 at 4:37 pm [Reply]

    9CL: Lady, I don’t think someone who names a cow “Twinkly” should be going on about bad names.

    Pigborn: You know, I actually take back what I said about Brooke’s thesaurus fetish. He clearly has an impressive vocabulary for a 7-year-old. Shame about the “DURR THIS IS YOU YOU PICK YOUR BUTT DURR” sense of humor, but that’s kids for you.

    Marm: Really, the Hellhound just has a grudge against the Tyrannosaurus. “Greatest predator of all time, huh?”

  152. Jamus The Bartender
    February 23rd, 2013 at 4:51 pm [Reply]

    @Ratiocinator (#22): I’m still eagerly awaiting Juliette and her friend doing time in the hole. :)

  153. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 23rd, 2013 at 4:55 pm [Reply]

    Band of Brothers — The less I know about Harry Dinkle’s movements, the better. Especially the one he has whenever he eats sauerkraut.

  154. Ian Beste
    February 23rd, 2013 at 4:58 pm [Reply]

    @Der Schnärkïnätör mit Ümläütën! (#149): $20 at a time…really? I have got to get down the coast. Here is LA the standard is $30 per lap dance…or so I’ve been told…

  155. Ian Beste
    February 23rd, 2013 at 5:00 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#133): You’ve got my support. There isn’t exactly a shortage of cats in the US.

  156. Ukulele Ike
    February 23rd, 2013 at 5:13 pm [Reply]

    @Majicou (#151): Pibgorn: Yes, I was struck by that image as well.

    Brooke, there are some kinds of pictures you can go ahead and draw if you want, but that you really really shouldn’t share with the public.

  157. Horace Broon
    February 23rd, 2013 at 5:17 pm [Reply]

    A3G: Of course, Evan’s confession had to happen off-panel, since we couldn’t miss a single second of Tommie and Greg wandering aimlessly around the hospital. I bet Monday’s strip is “And he implicated his Aunt Cathy, so her publicity business is bust, and Skylar is back with Margo! Now let us never speak of any of this again!”

    ASM: At first I wondered why Stan would put the action at one remove like this, since the distancing effect should make it harder to sympathise with the characters. Then I remembered no-one sympathises with Newspaper Spidey anyway, so showing us that someone is worried about him is the only way to increase the tension.

    GT: Gil, ever alert for someone or something that can do his job free of charge, is going to make the peacock assistant coach.

    FW: You got your icy spectre of death in my laboured music puns! You got your laboured music puns in my icy spectre of death! It’s the two grating tastes that grate together!

    HtH: In addition to the disconnect in kidnapping a sex-slave over the age of consent, I’m pretty sure the age of consent in Dark Ages Europe (or, as they called it, “marriageable age” since “consent” implies the women were expected to have an opinon in the matter) was a bit lower than 21.

    Phantom: The Ghost Who Talks Out Loud To Himself assures the audience that he doesn’t normally get clobbered over the head that easily. It’s not like he’s Spider-Man.

  158. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 23rd, 2013 at 5:23 pm [Reply]

    @Jamus The Bartender (#152): 30 days.

    that’s what they give you

  159. Peanut Gallery
    February 23rd, 2013 at 5:25 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#145): Without a doubt, an arboretum is a tree museum. I have before me at this very moment, a brochure from a local arboretum, on the back of which is some text that begins “As an arboretum (or tree museum)…”

    But I’m talking about the relative suitability of “arboretum” versus “tree museum” for the purposes of this particular song lyric. In that context, the connotative meaning is important, not just the denotative meaning. (My argument is going to fall apart if I’m the only one who experiences my particular set of connotations for each of the two choices, but I’m simply guessing that a significant number of people have a reaction similar to mine.) If I heard “they took all the trees, and put them in an arboretum,” I’d think “That doesn’t sound so bad.” When I hear “put them in a tree museum,” I think of dead, dusty trees inside a building, and it’s sad and tragic. And that appears to be what the songwriter intended me to feel, based on the general drift of all the other words in the song.

    In fact, this damn song is a downer. I think you should not only change it to “arboretum,” but change as many more of the words as needed to make it more uplifting! ;-)

  160. A Smirch Unheeded, Deacon
    February 23rd, 2013 at 5:25 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#123): You [rang]?

    // Was that evil? It didn’t feel very evil.

  161. Peanut Gallery
    February 23rd, 2013 at 5:29 pm [Reply]

    @A Smirch Unheeded, Deacon (#160): Nah, that’s not evil. I haven’t actually started reading a single Trollope novel yet. Though if this keeps up, I might have to, out of curiosity. I really just like the sound of “Sir Harry Hotspur of Humblethwaite.”

  162. A Smirch Unheeded, Deacon
    February 23rd, 2013 at 5:33 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#159): And yet, I think of a museum as a happy place, full of joy and wisdom. Like Ken Ham’s Creation Museum in Kentucky, where, I’m told, you can see an animatronic Jesus riding an animatronic dinosaur.

    // I haven’t been there, yet. But I’m a total sucker for museums. And historical markers on highways. It takes me forever to get anywhere on road trips.

  163. Les Moore Fan Club, LLC
    February 23rd, 2013 at 5:40 pm [Reply]

    Something TERRIBLE has happened to Les! I feel it in my bones. When you have a Cosmic Connection as we do, you just know. But consider these facts:
    1. We haven’t seen Les in WEEKS, with no mention of him.
    2. Witch-Cayla was getting increasingly hostile and aggressive.
    3. Mr. Batiuk has been attempting to distract us with nonsensical yarns about minor characters we care NOTHING about. (OK, it was a shame about Fred)
    4. This week the action has been moved OUT OF WESTVIEW. How often does that ever happen? Clearly it’s so the evidence of Les’s misadventure can be “cleaned up.” What unspeakable horrors has he been subjected to?

    Someone needs to investigate and get to the bottom of this. I’m calling Nancy Grace right now!

    Hoping it’s not too late,
    Susan Smith, President

  164. Horace Broon
    February 23rd, 2013 at 5:40 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#159):

    I’m with you on this one. Similarly, by the strict definition, one could call a zoo an “animal museum”. But “animal museum” makes me think more of the stuffed and skeletal creatures in the National Museum of Scotland’s natural history wing

    And I love visting the National Museum of Scotland’s natural history wing. But if Joni Mitchell were to sing that they put all the animals in an animal museum? Damn.

  165. A Smirch Unheeded, Deacon
    February 23rd, 2013 at 5:43 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#161): Rats!. I knew it wasn’t evil. My Deacon sense wasn’t tingling.

    // Try The Framley Parsonage. It’s really quite fun because… no, I wouldn’t want to spoil it!

  166. Zerowolf
    February 23rd, 2013 at 5:48 pm [Reply]

    RMMD: Ten Grand? That’s a lot of ones in those g-strings.

  167. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 23rd, 2013 at 5:52 pm [Reply]

    @Zerowolf (#166): and a lot of G’s in the one-strings. . . .

  168. The Right Venerable Pasdordan
    February 23rd, 2013 at 5:56 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#138): I got news for you. If the Macarena never goes out of style, what do you think they’ll be playing on the Muzak in your retirement community?

  169. Zerowolf
    February 23rd, 2013 at 5:56 pm [Reply]

    JP: The only explanation is that Neddy invested all that money and is coming home with a half billion dollars in unmarked bills. After all, they are Parker-Spencer-Drivers.

  170. The Right Venerable Pasdordan
    February 23rd, 2013 at 6:00 pm [Reply]

    Experimenting with Yesterday’s News for cat litter. I recommended starting with Mandrake the Magician, but the cats seemed eager to get even with that bastard Fred Basset, and nobody else much cared. The Duck Who Must Not Be Named is #2 on the list, I’m fairly certain.

  171. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 23rd, 2013 at 6:15 pm [Reply]

    @The Right Venerable Pasdordan (#170): Sounds appropriate — number two for number two on the list.

  172. Joshua
    February 23rd, 2013 at 6:22 pm [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#37): There was a band called Tesla, and I’m sure Ted must have watched a profile of them, perhaps on VH1, that explained where they got their name.

  173. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 23rd, 2013 at 6:40 pm [Reply]

    Agnes

    Funny thing is, I could totally see Trout singing Staff Sergeant Barry Sadler’s Ballad Of The Green Berets:

    Fighting soldiers from the sky
    Fearless men who jump and die
    Men who mean just what they say
    The brave men of the Green Beret…

  174. demoncat
    February 23rd, 2013 at 6:40 pm [Reply]

    rm love the shocked look on rex and junes face over learning not only how much the fund raising made but that honey has bounced back fast . mary worth better cheer up john and put mary out of your mind other wise you are risking not being able to start your internship by causing a plane crash pining for mary

  175. sully
    February 23rd, 2013 at 6:42 pm [Reply]

    MW: Thus endeth the ‘Cake Decorating’ saga, the most boring story line in the history of comic strips. Well, other than anything involving Spider-Bore, or whatever lame theme-to-nowhere Adam @ Home is shoveling this week.

  176. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 23rd, 2013 at 6:55 pm [Reply]

    @Joshua (#172): Ted probably has two teslas, but Mr. Forth, his wife and his doctor haven’t been forthcoming (sorry!) on the subject.

  177. The Right Venerable Pasdordan
    February 23rd, 2013 at 7:01 pm [Reply]

    @sully (#175): I know! The freaking cake didn’t even explode, not even once!

  178. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    February 23rd, 2013 at 7:04 pm [Reply]

    9CL: This is just made of stupid, isn’t it?

    //I have been known, on occasion, to call my cat something like “shithead” or “little idiot” as there are times, when, yes, she is a small furry asshole. Despite this she is much loved and I would rip the head off of anyone who tried to steal her from me.

  179. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 23rd, 2013 at 7:10 pm [Reply]

    And I love visiting the National Museum of Scotland’s natural history wing. But if Joni Mitchell were to sing that they put all the animals in an animal museum? Damn.

    Nevertheless, if the admission price was still a dollar and a half, that would be excellent value for your money!

  180. Liam
    February 23rd, 2013 at 7:50 pm [Reply]

    MW-”There’s…Shatner…on…the wing.”

    MW 2-Dill is pussy whipped and he never even had the pussy. Of course lots of guys are like that around Mary Worth. They must have an old lady fetish.

  181. commodorejohn
    February 23rd, 2013 at 7:51 pm [Reply]

    @Ratiocinator (#41): “Fox on the Run” kicks ass, but I’d recommend the single version over the album version (the B-side is pretty excellent too.)

  182. Baka Gaijin
    February 23rd, 2013 at 7:59 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#138): Fear not. As long as there are weddings, there will be “The Chicken Dance” and “The Macarena.”

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#139): I had to Google up “ecdysiast.” Not the best thing to do at the library when “image search” is the default.

    @sully (#175): Don’t be too quick to judge. The “Lucky/Chester” storyline was pretty lifeless. No one heckled Mary as she hefted the dog food into the house.

  183. Uncle Lumpy
    February 23rd, 2013 at 8:12 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#182):

    I had to Google up “ecdysiast.”

    I got a picture of Our Lady of Guadalupe and two of Martin van Buren. Time to clear the cache, I guess.

  184. DariaFoxendorffer
    February 23rd, 2013 at 8:28 pm [Reply]

    If you ever wondered what “American Dad” would look like if “The Venture Bros.”‘s animators did it, the “Jules” JP art answers the question.

  185. Der Kömmëntätör, Herr Schnärkïnätör
    February 23rd, 2013 at 8:34 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#135):

    “Zits: Jeremy lost his memory when Sara rubbed against him and made the blood rush away from his head.”

    From one head to another that is…

  186. Liam
    February 23rd, 2013 at 8:41 pm [Reply]

    Dennis the Menace-Did you catch your dad playing pocket pool again?

    FW-This is high school marching bands not a reunion with your old Army buddies.

  187. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 23rd, 2013 at 8:44 pm [Reply]

  188. Mibbitmaker
    February 23rd, 2013 at 9:05 pm [Reply]

    S-M: …And it looks like it’s about to hit the Camera-Man.

    RwO: “Also, whenever I make a fist, I can’t see anything!”

  189. Droopy Says
    February 23rd, 2013 at 9:22 pm [Reply]

    I missed the obvious with today’s Spiderdick. When MJ pushes a button on her remote, it goes “FLIK.” “FliK” is short for Fliegerkompanien, the proper name for a squadron of the Austro-Hungarian Luftfahrtruppe. MJ tried to summon a flight of Albatros D.IIIs to shoot down her wandering husband, but to her dismay the “FliK” button flikked up.

    Or, the idiot who inserts the sound-effect words into the strip could enter the twenty-first century and realize that modern remotes don’t make noises when you touch their buttons, not even a “click.”

  190. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    February 23rd, 2013 at 9:25 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#60): Satursquee! I’ve had a long day (and evening) of reading drafts, so a good dose of squee is just what I needed.

    (Could probably have done without the Shirtless Locker-Room-Mirror SeniorMatch.com Profile Pic, though.)

  191. Poteet
    February 23rd, 2013 at 9:31 pm [Reply]

    @Horace Broon (#157): If I had a float, your A3G comment would ride.

  192. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 23rd, 2013 at 9:33 pm [Reply]

  193. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 23rd, 2013 at 9:33 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#186):

    This is high school marching bands not a reunion with your old Army buddies.

    Obviously, you didn’t catch my “Band of Brothers” reference earlier.

  194. Poteet
    February 23rd, 2013 at 9:35 pm [Reply]

    A3G — I had really hoped Evan’s package contained Aunt Cathy’s severed head. But a bomb that emits wisps of colored smoke that put a woman into intensive care but allow her to completely recover twelve hours later is kinda cool.

  195. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 23rd, 2013 at 9:37 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#182): Ah, I hope I didn’t get you into any trouble there. When I try that Google image search the top result is Georges Simenon chatting with a topless showgirl like it ain’t no thang.

  196. Sgt. Stoned
    February 23rd, 2013 at 9:48 pm [Reply]

    MW: Fuck John Dill. Pining for Mary, and not one word or even thought from him in the whole story line about poor, dead Mrs. Dill. Or was she just a make-believe wife ala Manti Teo?

    Snuff Smif: It’s funny because the Smifs are poor hillbillies who are forced to live in a dilapidated house.

  197. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 23rd, 2013 at 9:50 pm [Reply]

  198. Old Folkie
    February 23rd, 2013 at 10:00 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#159): You think that Joni Mitchell song is a downer, you should listen to “Artifice and Innocence.”

  199. Droopy Says
    February 23rd, 2013 at 10:00 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#193): I thought you said “Bland of Bothers.”

  200. TheDiva
    February 23rd, 2013 at 10:02 pm [Reply]

    @Ukulele Ike (#156): This is, I think, the third time Brooke has depicted his strawman antagonist in this fashion. Because clearly such sharp, incisive satire must be repeated if the beefwits are to catch on to its subtle nuances.

  201. remmy
    February 23rd, 2013 at 10:02 pm [Reply]

    @Les Moore Fan Club, LLC (#163):
    If it means that Les has died, I’m buying everyone cocktails.

  202. Old Folkie
    February 23rd, 2013 at 10:05 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#180): Yeah, that Twilight Zone episode occured to me too!

  203. Liam
    February 23rd, 2013 at 10:18 pm [Reply]

    A3G-”I’m just going to jump out here and accuse Margo’s assistant Evan because I don’t like him.”

  204. The Right Venerable Pasdordan
    February 23rd, 2013 at 10:21 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#197): Wait. That can’t possibly be real, can…it?

  205. Mr. O’Malley
    February 23rd, 2013 at 10:44 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#173): Maybe if they wore parachutes they could jump and live. Right now it sounds like Monty Python’s Scottish Kamikazes.

  206. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 23rd, 2013 at 11:10 pm [Reply]

    @Sgt. Stoned (#196):

    Or was she just a make-believe wife ala Manti Teo?

    At some point “my girlfriend in Canada” became “my wife in Canada.”

  207. boojum
    February 23rd, 2013 at 11:17 pm [Reply]

    GT: Am I the only one who saw the last panel as Gil gently cradling the kid’s face in his monstrous hand? Nightmare fuel!

  208. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 23rd, 2013 at 11:45 pm [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#37):

    Sally: Ted has heard of Einstein and DaVinci, but I doubt he knows about Tesla.

    Oh, I could see Ted reading some steampunk. Or he’s a real big fan of the 80s metal band.

  209. Borborygmy
    February 24th, 2013 at 12:24 am [Reply]

    GT: Am I the only one who saw the last panel as Gil gently cradling the kid’s face in his monstrous hand?

    YES!

    // I like to keep a positive attitude.

  210. Der Kömmëntätör, Herr Schnärkïnätör
    February 24th, 2013 at 12:32 am [Reply]

    @remmy (#201):

    I’ll have a dirty Grey Goose martini please!

  211. The Ridger
    February 26th, 2013 at 8:48 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#133): While I don’t let my cat out, and I don’t advocate outdoors cats, I feel it necessary to point out that that research may not be as solid as all that.

Comments are closed for this post.