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And then along comes Mary

Mary Worth, 2/24/13, 4/26/12 (panels)


WORST. BALLOON RALLY. EVER.

Spider-Man, 2/24/13

So for two weeks the World’s Slowest Missile has been homing in on Daredevil, only it’s suddenly on a timer? Since it hasn’t come close to hitting its target in all that time, why does Kingpin expect a better result in “Seven seconds — Six –”? I guess the idea is something like, “And then Spidey sees Daredevil, and there’s like a missile, and Kingpin, with a secret lair and, and mumble mumble EXCITING DANGER!!!” Even Narration Box seems confused: “Countdown to Zero!“? Uh, as opposed to what, exactly, N.B.?

Funky Winkerbean, 2/24/13

Do you “have what it takes to be a band director”? Let’s see: Multi-volume-autobiography-writing narcissism? Check! Indifference to the health and self-esteem of your students? Check! Melodramatic, fatuous, incoherent advice? Check! You’re good to go, chippie: see you at next year’s Ohio State Music Educators Association Convention!

Any idea what that last speech-balloon might’ve said before it was tortured to bloody gibbering death? Maybe something like “But if you do, fail from courage, not cowardice”? I mean before the rewrite demons showed up.

Dick Tracy, 2/24/13

You gotta love how Dick Tracy carefully exonerates the locomotive crew from any responsibility for this accident. After all, Sweatbox was driving at dangerously high speed onto an icy overpass. And it was black ice — slipperiest and stealthiest of all the ices! And he was probably dead from that encounter with the steering wheel even before the train hit him, right? Sure, they were accelerating into bad weather to make up time, but the crew even sounded the horn as if to say, “Keep that lovely old Benz off our tracks, wouldya — we’re speedin’ here!”

Do you think the Railroad Police will mount a full and fair investigation — or have they all been corrupted by that sweet “Tracy’s Hall of Fame” gig?


That’s it for me — Josh will be back with Comments of the Week soon (remember, patience is a virtue!), and regular posts starting Monday. Thanks for a fun week!

– Uncle Lumpy

254 responses to “And then along comes Mary”

  1. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 24th, 2013 at 1:47 am [Reply]

    Saturday’s Love is… using her body as a human shield.

    Sunday’s Snuffy Smith — Doc and his “nuss” aren’t the least bit concerned that Uriah’s missing heart medicine might result in a fatal heart attack.

    You dumb clucks just keep on haha-ing!

  2. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 24th, 2013 at 1:50 am [Reply]

    Mary Worth

    Alas, John Dill doesn’t live long enough to realize his longtime dream of working with Chef Pierre. Because everyone on board is killed when a bomb planted by a terrorist group causes his plane to explode over Easter Island.

    Ironically, John’s last sight on this earth is a giant Mary Worth head floating
    in the clouds.

  3. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 24th, 2013 at 1:58 am [Reply]

    @The Right Venerable Pasdordan (#y204): @Rocky Stoneaxe (#197): Wait. That can’t possibly be real, can…it?

    Yes, it’s real — and probably waaaay out of my price range:

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/16007871@N00/2544697709

  4. Droopy Says
    February 24th, 2013 at 2:03 am [Reply]

    Spiderdick: What’s the problem, DareDevil? This strip blows but it keeps coming back.

    Sunday Mark Trail: I really look forward to the Sunday strip. Fun, informative and beauiful. It’s what the weekday strip was like when I was a kid,

    Funky Whatabore: A failure of timidity? Good point, Mr. Batiuk. Does this mean you’re going to identify the Gay Prom Character now?

    Family Circus: Would it be funny if the melonheads repeated these things at awkward moments? No, because they’d mangle the words so badly that nobody would get it.

    Pluggers: I’d like to see a Plugger try this. There’s a reason why snow plows are heavy vehicles with angled steel blades, solidly mounted on the truck.

    Phantom: Walker, you dick, did you have a court order when you asked Savarna for fire support to cover that prison break?

    Flatulence Alley: Add “multiple-tasking” to the list of things humans never say. Which includes all of this dialog.

  5. tallyHO
    February 24th, 2013 at 2:05 am [Reply]

    SUNDAY
    Mary Worth
    Let’s be honest about what happened here:
    -John Dill neither had his cake nor did he eat it;
    -Mary Worth cracked John Dill’s freaking mind.

    apartment 3G
    Evan Blando and Bolleheads were the worst band ever!

    spider-man
    Just two brightly colored clad swingers dodging missiles in San Francisco.
    Wasn’t that a line from an old song?

    Mark Trail
    Rhea-lly?

    slylock fox
    What kind of sick, bastard, clothes-wearing, civilized critter-filled world calls their slave markets: “Pet Stores”?

    the spider-man and daredevilish adventure show

    It’s Time for Timer! So, all this artful dodging is for naught? Or is it not just another artful dodge by the Stan Lee Stand-In who writes this strip?

    “Let’s make the reader wait one more day before we start the cycle all over again!”

  6. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 24th, 2013 at 2:05 am [Reply]

    @Mr. O’Malley (#y205): @Rocky Stoneaxe (#173): Maybe if they wore parachutes they could jump and live. Right now it sounds like Monty Python’s Scottish Kamikazes.

    I think you’re being a little hard on Harry Dinkle, Mr. O’Malley. Especially since I just acquired a warehouse filled to the rafters with minty mint copies of Harry’s first (and last!) record album: “Ballad Of The Puke Green Berets.”

    As performed by Mitch Miller and the Sing-Along Gang.

  7. tallyHO
    February 24th, 2013 at 2:13 am [Reply]

    snuffy smif
    Ha!
    This strip proves it! Hootin Holler is just another name for Hell!

    The Parcel Delivery chap with the sore tootsies lost his own cure!
    **********

    Good Show, Uncle Lumpy! Good Show indeed. Oh, I hate you!

    // teehee

  8. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 24th, 2013 at 2:15 am [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#5): Mark Trail Rhea-lly?

    Just think: actress Rhea Perlman was named after a flightless bird. And she was married to the Penguin.

  9. tallyHO
    February 24th, 2013 at 2:24 am [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#8):

    I had not considered her.

    For what it is worth, I think Perlman and Devito split up though.

    You know what they say about birds of a feather:
    For a while they flock together then they get tired of each other and then they vow to keep the flock away from each other.

  10. Inkwell
    February 24th, 2013 at 2:30 am [Reply]

    Oh, Uncle Lumpy, I love you and your late-night posts. Can I marry you? Just until Josh gets back?

  11. Majicou
    February 24th, 2013 at 2:33 am [Reply]

    DT: Why don’t they look?

  12. Joey Maloney
    February 24th, 2013 at 3:12 am [Reply]

    Compare and contrast: Nightmare at 20000 feet.

  13. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    February 24th, 2013 at 3:23 am [Reply]

    9CL: Given what this strip has established holding hands as a metaphor, that last panel makes this even skeevier than it already is.

  14. MySpoonIsTooBig
    February 24th, 2013 at 3:40 am [Reply]

    Beetle Bailey- “Goldbricker” is yet another word that makes me excited cause it’s a Lebowski word, and that turned into speculation that Beetle and The Dude would probably get along swimmingly, while Sarge would much prefer Walter. Oh man, Sarge and Walter in ‘Nam? I NEED to see this.

  15. Baka Gaijin
    February 24th, 2013 at 4:10 am [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#2): Having gone through the hell of seeing Mary Worth’s head the actual size of her ego as his last vision on earth, God gives Mr. Dill a free pass into Heaven.

    @Droopy Says (#4) on Pluggers: Check YouTube. Amongst the general dumbassery is at least one video showing this touching vignette, followed by a Plugger on a draft horse dragging the rusty pickup truck back home.

    @Joey Maloney (#12): Which is scarier outside a plane’s window? Giant floating Mary Worth head or ugly monster? Mary Worth. Reason? Ugly monster will not try to meddle you on why you’re on a plane alone instead of getting back together with your one twoo wuv.

  16. Droopy Says
    February 24th, 2013 at 5:02 am [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#15): I couldn’t find that video, but it sounds like what I would expect to happen when some idjit ropes a door to his bumper.

    There are snowplow attachments for pick-up trucks, but I’ve only seen them on large, relatively new trucks with snow tires. And I never saw anyone try to plow their street with them, much less go racing down the road.

  17. Baka Gaijin
    February 24th, 2013 at 5:14 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#16): Keep looking. I’ll bet it’ll between videos of cats sliding down snowy slopes on flying saucers and idiots sliding down snowy roads on cardboard refrigerator boxes into busy highways. YouTube’s a big place and the clusterfuck sections are enormous and growing by the minute.

  18. Joe Btfsplk
    February 24th, 2013 at 5:20 am [Reply]

    Mary Worth – GAAAHH!! It’s been only a week or so since I was exposed to Junji Ito’s horror manga “The Hanging Balloons!” Too soon!

  19. NonnyMus
    February 24th, 2013 at 6:11 am [Reply]

    That car/train wreck is like one from the Simpson’s, where every collision ends in a fireball, no matter how improbable. Wait! That’s probably where the Simpson’s got the idea.

    Never mind.

  20. Doodle Bean
    February 24th, 2013 at 6:12 am [Reply]

    How helpful of that black ice to freeze just so to make the words “black ice”.

  21. Wally
    February 24th, 2013 at 6:16 am [Reply]

    Does the dildo glowing yellow signify that SpiderMan and Daredevil will finally consummate their love?

  22. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 24th, 2013 at 7:00 am [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#9):

    Yep. Perlman and Devito did their version of Tammy Wynette’s D-I-V-O-R-C-E
    in the last year or so. Some birds mate for life — but not this pair.

  23. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 24th, 2013 at 7:10 am [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#15): Baka, you mean you stood idly by while others massaged Mary’s ego? The Mary is not pleased. THE MARY IS NOT PLEASED AT ALL.

  24. Ratiocinator
    February 24th, 2013 at 7:18 am [Reply]

    9CL: “Overgendered”? That cannot possibly be a real word. Just a sec…

    All right, one visit to dictionary.com and another to Google tells me, no, it’s not a word. The only results Google gave me were things like “Little rational discussin over gendered pay”.

    And you can’t say “overgendered” as a substitute for “oversexed”, because “gender” is different from “sex”! If I recall correctly–and I may not–the way they’re different is that “sex” is what you are physically, i.e. if you have male or female genitalia, while “gender” is what you are mentally, i.e. if you think of yourself and identify as male or female.

    TL;DR: Brooke is just making up words to sound smart. Also, in the “what else is new” category, he’s pissed at critics of his work.

    ASM: “Keep duckin’ and dodgin’, DD!”

    “Well, I was about to stop doing that and just let the missile hit me, but your persuasive argument has convinced me to continue! Thank you, Spider-Man!”

    FW: If you fail, that is a sign that you are still in the Funkyverse, where everybody fails at everything, with even the world that was created for you to live in having devolved into one enormously epic fail.

    Garfield: The fact that Garfield didn’t immediately swipe those donuts is proof that he’s getting soft in his old age.

    JP: “Neddy’s on her way to you, madam…I said Neddy is on her way home!…Yes, Ms. Spencer, I am certain that Neddy is on her way to visit you! Damn, how many times have I got to say it before you get it through your thick skull and–oh dear, I just let the cat out of the bag!”

    RMMD: She was thanking you by getting naked in front of Rex, June! And although she didn’t say so, part of the reason she burst into tears afterward was because she never got a “You’re welcome!”

    Rex is also speaking the truth when he says that Honey flashing him was very thoughtful. His hilarious eye-covering/squatting/thrusting out a palm reaction is what he always does when he’s touched by a thoughtful gesture.

    Slylock: That parrot, no doubt as sentient as any other antropomorphic animal in Slylock’s world, is being sold into slavery to be kept in a cage, and Slylock is defending the slaver. Horrifying stuff.

  25. Ratiocinator
    February 24th, 2013 at 7:25 am [Reply]

  26. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 24th, 2013 at 7:25 am [Reply]

    When you buy a window seat, pay the extra bucks to get one on the inside.

  27. Revenge4Aldo
    February 24th, 2013 at 7:28 am [Reply]

    MW Jeff morphed so slowly into Donald Trump that I almost didn’t notice.

  28. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 24th, 2013 at 7:35 am [Reply]

    @MySpoonIsTooBig (#14): I’ve often wondered if fine art painter and graphic artist Steve Rude the Dude is a big Lebowski fan (hence the nickname).

    Since Steve currently resides in Peoria, Arizona, I’ve also wondered if bats :[ has ever hung out with the Dude (either one!).

  29. Liam
    February 24th, 2013 at 7:41 am [Reply]

    Spiderman-Just us all this week as the Kingpin calls out a number in the countdown each day.

    Crankshaft-”And the guys in the Teamsters and the ladies at Lydia’s Massage Parlor.”

    MW-And if Dill lost he would be hanging in his closet right now.

    Pluggers-”How many times have I told you that if you are going to use a door for a snow plow use the backdoor and not the front.”

    RMMD-She was thanking you by getting naked in front of you. You were the one Honey wanted, June, not your husband.

    Sally Forth-And your mother will never know if you know what’s good for you, Hil.

    Zits-Oh that wacky younger generation. They are so dependent on their little electrical devices that they will start to die without them.

    Archie-How did Archie break a window with a snowball?

  30. teenchy
    February 24th, 2013 at 7:43 am [Reply]

    ASM: I freely admit to being behind the curve on the subject of outsider art, and so only recently discovered the glory that was Wesley Willis. That said I will never read another ASM strip here without this earworm running through my head.

  31. Bill
    February 24th, 2013 at 7:46 am [Reply]

    DICK TRACY: UncLump (Exactly like “DocOc”, only completely different!), you failed in your attempt to make the strip unreadable! The onomatopoeias were quite legible!

  32. Liam
    February 24th, 2013 at 7:47 am [Reply]

    MW-Interesting how the only bad thing has happened to a character is from Aldo you rejected Mary’s refusal of him. Looks like the moral of this comic is to accept Mary and good things will happen to you. Reject Mary and bad things will happen.

  33. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 24th, 2013 at 7:48 am [Reply]

    @Revenge4Aldo (#27):

    A giant floating Jeff head screaming “YOU’RE FIRED!!!” as John Dill’s plane goes down in flames? I can’t believe Karen Moy didn’t think of that!

  34. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 24th, 2013 at 7:49 am [Reply]

    PBS: Is the goldfish named Gomer or Georgie?

  35. Ratiocinator
    February 24th, 2013 at 7:53 am [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#5):

    What kind of sick, bastard, clothes-wearing, civilized critter-filled world calls their slave markets: “Pet Stores”?

    Ah, it is refreshing to see I’m not the only one appalled by this!

  36. Baka Gaijin
    February 24th, 2013 at 8:03 am [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#23): “The Mary” can be as displeased as she likes. I have friends who have access to incredible and precise explosive devices. Currently they’re set to destruction objective “EVILSCARYCLOWN” but that can easily be changed to “meddling biddy.”

    @Ratiocinator (#24) on Garfield: Garfield knows what’s good for him. If he snatches the donuts from his vet, he may end up getting neutered. Again.

    @Liam (#29) on Archie: The window is 50 years old and made of Sugar, Sugar!

  37. WeatherServo9
    February 24th, 2013 at 8:08 am [Reply]

    John Dill has his Shatner moment: “There’s a … … MONSTER … on the … … WING… of the … … … … … … … plane.”

  38. pugfuggly
    February 24th, 2013 at 8:10 am [Reply]

    MW Nice try, John Dill, but don’t try cloud conjuring until you’re up to Mary’s level. First of all, I know you’re used to monochromatic cakes, but you have to use a bit of variation in colour there. Secondly, what’s all that neck and shoulder junk? Head only! Third, you look like you’re about to reach out and cop a feel from your cloud conjuration. Not a good look…

    ASM ‘Energy seeking missile’? No wonder it’s not interested in Spidey! Because of his laziness and general lack of….ah nevermind.

    FW Yeah, make sure you don’t fail from TiMidity++. Try to get a band with real students and real instruments rather than just relying on a synthesizer.

  39. Ratiocinator
    February 24th, 2013 at 8:28 am [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#36): Oh Baka Gaijin, you poor soul. In the time it took you to type that, Mary tracked down each and every one of your friends and–speaking to them via her giant floating head trick–convinced them that they were wasting their lives tending to your arsenal of destruction. That they should do something more rewarding, like reunite with their long-lost love, or make amends to that guy they got fired under false pretenses, or learn more about e-mail scammers, or go to Vietnam.

    She was very persuasive. When all else failed, she said “You are not going to help Baka Gaijin defy my will any longer! CAPISCE?!

  40. matt w
    February 24th, 2013 at 8:29 am [Reply]

    FW: I’m pretty sure the last line, pre-rewrite demons, was “the funny thing about regret is that it’s better to regret something you have done than to regret something that you haven’t done.”

    I can’t wait to see what the rewrite demons do with “If you see your mother this week, be sure to tell her: SATAN!!!”

  41. btown
    February 24th, 2013 at 8:29 am [Reply]

    MW: Hey, that’s not a giant floating Mary Worth head. That’s a giant plaster Mary Worth statue. John Dill’s plane must be flying over the Santa Royale Biddyland Theme Park and…. cripes! You’re flying too low!

  42. Hibbleton
    February 24th, 2013 at 8:29 am [Reply]

    Love is..sharing a ride in the ambulance.

  43. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 24th, 2013 at 8:30 am [Reply]

    Short ribs:

    Bizarro — Maybe they shoulda taken that left turn at Albuquerque.

    Sally Forth – Hil and Ted clean out Sally’s garage. (Hope they both got their Tetris shots first!)

  44. gleeb
    February 24th, 2013 at 8:37 am [Reply]

    Slylock: How do “pet stores” work in a world of sentient, mystery-solving animals? I shudder to contemplate.

    ‘shaft: An old man wishes bodily harm done to someone he’s never met, and it’s funny!

    ‘bean: I refuse to believe that a young student could meet this blathering old fart and want to be more like him in any way.

    Abbey’s Long-Distance Bill: Forgot to reiterate that every spot in Paris has a view of the Eiffel Tower.

  45. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 24th, 2013 at 8:38 am [Reply]

    @Ratiocinator (#39):

    Thanks to your sage advice, Ratiocinator, Baka Gaijin has finally seen the light. Baka is currently busy massaging giant floating Mary Worth’s massive feet and her even more massive ego.

  46. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 24th, 2013 at 8:42 am [Reply]

    yesterthread bb,u: sorry ’bout that. I’ve been on an Avatar kick lately, between NickToons reruns and catching Legend of Korra online. So, when I saw that pic, King Bumi came to mind immediately.

  47. bbofun
    February 24th, 2013 at 8:46 am [Reply]

    FW- Wait- someone’s actually BUYING his book? And getting it autographed? I thought Les was suppose to be Batiuk’s fantasy-fulfilling author avatar.

    MW- “You’re a winner, Mary!”
    “Because I won the cake contest with John?”
    Mary’s eyes narrowed, and Dr. Corey could feel the coldness of her gaze like a dagger in is heart. he had to get this right! He mustn’t fail this test- or he. too, would find himself being meddled into non-existence!
    “B-b-because you helped your friend realize his dream, ” he said, tentatively. Mary seemed pleased- but he knew it was not enough. “THAT’S impressive! That’s winning!” he nearly screamed.

    Mary sat back, her mind reaching out to make contact with her latest victim, to send him a vision of the demon he had fallen in love with. Why not send him into oblivion with one last moment of happiness?. “I’m glad I had the opportunity to make that happen.”

    Jeff heaved a sigh of relief. Perhaps, now, she would allow him to return to Vietnam, or wherever the hell it was he went when he was not needed by The Mary.

    9CL- Responding to criticism by deliberately misinterpreting it (and there is NO excuse for not understanding what was meant by “too much sex”- unless you feel the letter-writer should have said “too much intercourse and suggestion of intercourse and other related acts”) is the act of a beefwit. And it’s not even a funny response.

  48. Baka Gaijin
    February 24th, 2013 at 8:58 am [Reply]

    Slylock Fox Mystery, alternative answer: Reeky Rat stole the parrot’s vocal cords.

  49. Hibbleton
    February 24th, 2013 at 9:00 am [Reply]

    Hi and Lois: I think I finally get Marvin.

  50. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 24th, 2013 at 9:02 am [Reply]

    rMC: sings the Charles In Charge theme. (I kid you not.)

    dead tree: OFFS. Baby Blues and Luann share the same ‘gag’.

    why does Grand Avenue even exist? boring mediocrity at its worst.

    Frazz: as a sanitarian in a past life, I agree whole-heartedly.

    Doons: everything’s better with redheads in chainmail bikinis.

    HotC: every year.

    GF: WIN! ever so much bucking win.

    Lio: I agree whole-heartedly.

    onto online!

    9CL: Brooke pretty much is talking to us.

    A&J: I am Arlo.

    SBp: is for bats :[ and the win. (I LOLd)

    Bizarro: wow. that’s a long way to go for a joke. worked, though.

    MT: ratites. yay! (Emu, Joe, it’s the pork of the future!)

    PMP: KLANG!!! (not well done, not at all.)

    RMMD: ok, who are you and what have you done with Gay Rex?

    6Cx: is the polar opposite of Stone Soup.

    SFx: that’s a penguin, isn’t it? for the first time ever, the guest artist might be a match for Reply All.

  51. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 24th, 2013 at 9:05 am [Reply]

    Short ribs:

    Get Fuzzy — Will someone PLEASE tell Satchel to “Edsel-Shut-The-Hell-Up”?

    PBS — Gomer also stuck to making [CENSORED] left turns while swimming in [CENSORED] circles. That boy has a bright future with Nascar, I tells ya!

  52. Baka Gaijin
    February 24th, 2013 at 9:07 am [Reply]

    @Ratiocinator (#39): Ha! All Ms. Worth needs to know is me droogs love “Singing in the Rain.”

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#43) on Sally Forth: COTW contender if one was available this week.

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#45): “Singing in the rain, just singing in the rain…”

  53. Cloudbuster
    February 24th, 2013 at 9:18 am [Reply]

    9CL: This strip doesn’t really make much sense unless you read CC.

    Luann: Vain, shallow parents produce vain, shallow kids. Who knew?

  54. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 24th, 2013 at 9:18 am [Reply]

    Short ribs:

    Mutts — The early bird gets the frostbite.

    Dog Eat Doug — Sophie sings the theme song from “Frasier.”

  55. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 24th, 2013 at 9:20 am [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#52): “Thank you! Good night!”

  56. Cloudbuster
    February 24th, 2013 at 9:20 am [Reply]

    Dilbert: This is a true story!

  57. Ratiocinator
    February 24th, 2013 at 9:20 am [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#45): Good. I hate to think what would’ve been in store for me if I’d failed her.

    @bbofun (#47):

    9CL- Responding to criticism by deliberately misinterpreting it (and there is NO excuse for not understanding what was meant by “too much sex”- unless you feel the letter-writer should have said “too much intercourse and suggestion of intercourse and other related acts”) is the act of a beefwit. And it’s not even a funny response.

    I almost felt stupid for misinterpreting what McE was saying after reading this. Then I thought “Wait, no. The strip ends with them just holding hands, as if to say ‘There, they aren’t fucking, they aren’t even kissing or hugging, are you prudes happy now?’”

    As for the dialogue:

    A: Well, I’ve been thinking perhaps I have too much sex. (By itself, there’s only one way to read this line.)
    E: In that you are overgendered? (Seems like she’s saying oversexed, as in he has a high sex drive, except she wanted to use a wordier synonym for “sex”.)
    A: Exactly. I’m replete with the commodity. Overflowing. (“I have an ENORMOUS sex drive.”
    A: Do you think, as a public service, I should slack off? (Every time I have ever heard somebody use the words “slack off”, it’s meant something like “don’t work hard, be lazy, etc. If Amos was talking about “slacking off” on the hard work he was doing holding onto his Y chromosome, that would make no sense. “Slacking off” in the context of having less sex, OTOH, does make sense.)

    So yeah, I think it’s easy to misinterpret this. Although, knowing Brooke, he’s gonna be all like “Excuse me? You perceived this conversation as referencing the frequency with which Edda & Amos engaged in sexual intercourse? Preposterous! Only a perverted, gutter-minded beefwit would reach such a conclusion.”

  58. John C Fremont
    February 24th, 2013 at 9:32 am [Reply]

    Great. Now I’ve got 30 Days In The Hole stuck in my head. Two versions, no less. At least it’s not Mister Rogers doing Cat Scratch Fever anymore. That was just getting old.

    FW – I’ll bet that old “timidity” saw made more sense in the original Bandar tongue.

    MW – “That’s impressive! That’s winning!” Poor Jeff can’t even get the words to I’ve Never Been To Me right, which is probably the song going through John Dill’s head in that last panel. He’d be better off with Mister Rogers’ version of Cat Scratch Fever.

    And speaking of Barney singing Highway To Hell…

  59. Cloudbuster
    February 24th, 2013 at 9:32 am [Reply]

    MW: Fuck that John Dill guy! Mary practically dragged the cake and him across the finish line! He’d be a loser without Mary! Mary RULES! ALL HAIL MARY! MARY! MARY! MARY!

  60. TheDiva
    February 24th, 2013 at 9:33 am [Reply]

    FW: A friend introduced me to the roleplaying game Fiasco, where the stories hinge on the characters failing in spectacular and hilarious ways. Funky Winkerbean is starting to read like a module for that game, minus the “hilarious” part.

    MW: THERE’S A MEDDLING BIDDY ON THE WING OF THE PLANE!!!

    SM: So the next week of strips is going to depict five seconds of comic time? This strip is setting new limits for glacial pacing.

  61. Cloudbuster
    February 24th, 2013 at 9:38 am [Reply]

    RMMD: The only way I can interpret this is that due to the constraints of a strip appearing in daily newspapers, “towel drop,” “flash” and “getting naked” are code words for “had sex.” Honey gave Rex a thank-you fuck. Off-panel.

  62. Cloudbuster
    February 24th, 2013 at 9:40 am [Reply]

  63. KreatureFeatures
    February 24th, 2013 at 9:49 am [Reply]

    Why does John visualize Mary with a neckerchief he’s never seen her wear? Has he, by winning a cake contest, gained powers of omniscience?

    As Jeff would say, “That’s impressive! That’s winning!”

  64. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 24th, 2013 at 9:57 am [Reply]

    something melty for bb,u.

    basset goes for the sexxay, but is unclear on the concept.

    I believe we were discussing earworms yesterday? (the kewtest 52 seconds of your morning!)

    kewtness overload face.

    lynx to squee.

    otters give the best “da fuq?” looks.

    corgi eyes and ears.

    not a guinea pig.

    Happy Sundog!!!

  65. TheDiva
    February 24th, 2013 at 9:58 am [Reply]

    9CL: Let’s see: in the last several weeks of Pibgorn alone, we’ve had: every major female character in some variation of a harem costume, two characters making out while a third watched, two characters having a reunion while entwined at crotch level, one character using sex to exhaust her partner, the same character using sex as a barganing tool, a full-page spread depicting the, ahem, fulfillment of said bargain, and a woman behaving submissively in order to get what she wants from a man.

    ….Yes, Brooke, the problem is clearly on our end.

    C’shaft: Crankshaft despises joy in any form and wants to see it punished in painful ways.

    Luann: So, bursting with “inner beauty” despite being neurotic, self-centered pills. I think I see where Luann gets it from.

  66. gojira
    February 24th, 2013 at 10:03 am [Reply]

    Slow-Mo Spidey: Try as I might, I can’t get in Spidey’s and DD’s dialogue (substituting “Huh?” for “?”) in less than 9 seconds. Kingpin’s dialogue takes about 8. How can there be seven seconds left?

    @The Right Venerable Pasdordan (y#204) re: Simenon’s New York book: Pour de vrai (excuse my lousy French)

  67. The Right Venerable Pasdordan
    February 24th, 2013 at 10:03 am [Reply]

    Hey, I just heard the other day that the guy who wrote “Along Comes Mary” died recently. He left instructions in his will that his most famous song not be played at any cake competitions. What do you know about that?

    Anyway: “Multi-volume-autobiography-writing narcissism? Check! Indifference to the health and self-esteem of your students readers? Check! Melodramatic, fatuous, incoherent advice? Check!” Congratulations, you have everything it takes to be Brooke McEldowney!

  68. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 24th, 2013 at 10:04 am [Reply]

    @John C Fremont (#58): *runs away screaming*

  69. John C Fremont
    February 24th, 2013 at 10:10 am [Reply]

    Back when Charlie Sheen was going on and on about “winning,” I wonder if he was seeing a giant Mary Worth head floating in the clouds. Kind of makes you feel sorry for him.

    RMMD – Gee, no one has ever thanked me with a flashing. I shoulda gone to med school.

    Kind of reminds me of the time Freakazoid saved the free world, and Lady Dianna & Sharon Stone got into a fist fight over who got to thank him in a “very personal way.”

  70. Uncle Lumpy
    February 24th, 2013 at 10:17 am [Reply]

    @John C Fremont (#69):

    Lady Dianna & Sharon Stone got into a fist fight over who got to thank him …

    Who won?

  71. Holly Folly
    February 24th, 2013 at 10:17 am [Reply]

    Whenever I see Dick Tracy strips, I struck by how well drawn they are. Somebody, somewhere really cares about how that train explosion looks. The style and colors are great, and add a lot to the story. I feel like I could take panels from Dick Tracy, blow them up, and hang them on my wall. The only bad part is when I look at the other comics, it’s like someone just ralphed up art all over the page. It’s like they trained monkeys to draw Mary Worth. Spiderman looks like is having a seizure in his crotch. Just, stop ruining it for everyone with your talent Dick Tracy.

  72. sully
    February 24th, 2013 at 10:34 am [Reply]

    Spider-Bore: Daredevil has no armor. He has no super-strength. He doesn’t possess super-speed. He just swings around at a normal pace with no protection around him, then stands on convenient ledges or rooftops, in broad daylight. Why bother with the world’s slowest missile? Why don’t they just shoot the sumbitch?

  73. Mibbitmaker
    February 24th, 2013 at 10:36 am [Reply]

    FW: Mary Worth: “Wait, Dinkle, let me write that down…..”

    MW: It’s Sunday, so of course there’s going to be explicit worship of the primary religion zealously believed in by this comic strip (the key word here is “primary”….. said as “pry, Mary!”).

    RMMD: So, basically, Honey thanked Rex and June by dropping towel to flash two people who aren’t attracted to women….

    S-M: “Countdown to Zero”. Couldn’t have said it better myself!

  74. John C Fremont
    February 24th, 2013 at 10:39 am [Reply]

    Sadly, we never find out, ’cause that’s when the Pope came in…

  75. The Grandstander
    February 24th, 2013 at 10:47 am [Reply]

    Remember the old Twilight Zone episode when William Shatner saw that monster out on the wing of the airplane? John Dill has just topped that. Take that, Rod Serling!

  76. Mibbitmaker
    February 24th, 2013 at 10:47 am [Reply]

    S-M: Lucille Bluth watches on (not shown), paraphrasing one of her old quotes: “Make the countdown go long, so Kingpin’s head won’t seem so… round.”

    Also off-panel, GOB hastily replies, “Did somebody say ‘Final Countdown’?”

  77. Mibbitmaker
    February 24th, 2013 at 10:49 am [Reply]

    9CL: When John Lennon sang so positively about “Mind Games”, he’d never met Brooke McEldowney!

  78. Ratiocinator
    February 24th, 2013 at 10:49 am [Reply]

    @sully (#72): Same reason they don’t shoot Captain America, pretty much. Or Batman, in stories where Bats isn’t wearing an armored suit.

  79. The Right Venerable Pasdordan
    February 24th, 2013 at 10:50 am [Reply]

    @gojira (#66): There’s something like 500 Maigret novels, and here I thought I’d read them all…[*]

  80. Peanut Gallery
    February 24th, 2013 at 10:51 am [Reply]

    MW – “May the road rise up to meet you, may the wind be ever at your back.” It’s Camus, of course. From The Myth of Sisyphus. That bit about wishing him a road that rises up is pretty cruel, IMO.

  81. sully
    February 24th, 2013 at 10:57 am [Reply]

    @Ratiocinator (#78): At least Captain America has a large shield for protection, and Batman tends to work in the shadows and darkness. If they ain’t wearing kevlar tights, I say shoot the sumbitches, and start with Spider-Bore and the blind man!

  82. The Right Venerable Pasdordan
    February 24th, 2013 at 10:58 am [Reply]

    Well, now I want to read a Maigret mystery. Maybe when I get done with Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.

  83. ralph
    February 24th, 2013 at 11:01 am [Reply]

    FW: You can probably explain a lot of FW action by assuming that the town was unknowingly built upon some sort of huge toxic dump, causing the health problems and the bizarre actions of the citizenry (two hot women wanting Les, for example). Nothing could explain a young person approaching an old fart and expressing a desire to be a band director. Also, nothing could explain anyone reading, let alone buying, a book about being a band director.

  84. Ratiocinator
    February 24th, 2013 at 11:12 am [Reply]

    @sully (#81): *comic book nerd glasses on* In a lot of stories I’ve read, Daredevil’s been stealthy and used shadows like Batman–as a matter of fact, Daredevil’s radar sense lets him “see” just as well in darkness as in broad daylight, so he’d have an advantage if he were fighting somebody at night or in a dark room.

    The other thing Daredevil has going for him is that the radar sense lets him sense everything around him. A pretty cool scene from a story in the “What If…?” comic book (in this particular issue, it tells the story of what would have happened if Daredevil had actually killed the Kingpin) shows Daredevil getting the drop on three guys committing a crime, a mugging I think. He hits two of them at once to knock them out, and the third one is behind Daredevil, aiming a gun at his back. The caption says something like “The third man thinks the only way this guy can save himself is if he has eyes in the back of his head.”

    And without even turning around, Daredevil throws his club at the gunman and nails him in the head, knocking him out too.

  85. Notebooked
    February 24th, 2013 at 11:18 am [Reply]

    The guy from Mary Worth And Me ought to be happy now — he was wishing for a giant floating Mary head yesterday.

  86. seismic-2
    February 24th, 2013 at 11:20 am [Reply]

    @ralph (#83): Well, after having been enthralled by Vol. 1 of the Dinkle autobiography, she just had to buy Vol. 2 to find out how it ends. Sadly, it hasn’t yet. That comes in Vol. 6. (Spoiler alert – cancer.)

  87. Schismatic
    February 24th, 2013 at 11:20 am [Reply]

    MW:
    Hail, Mary, full of grace,
    Bartlett’s is with thee,
    Blessed art thou amongst Charterstoners,
    And blessed is the salmon of your squares,
    Apple Mary, mother of meddlers,
    Pry into our affairs,
    Now and in the hour of our need.

  88. The Right Venerable Pasdordan
    February 24th, 2013 at 11:26 am [Reply]

    The Amazing Spider-Man: 3…2…1…Zero!

    Apt 3-G: “You look so pale!” could be used on virtually any character in this strip. In fact, “You look so pale!” really ought to be Apt. 3-G’s motto.

    9 Chickweed Lane: No, you pinhead, there’s not too much sex in the comics.* What there is, is too much talking about sex. Either you’re in or you’re out, you repressed little perv. Choose a side and stick with it.

    Dick Tracy: WHERE’S MY GODDAMN ROAD RUNNER?

    Dilbert: “Code mocking” sounds like it could be the kernel of truth in this strip. Any software engineers out there want to confirm/vote to kill?

    The Lockhorns: Okay, I’ll give it up. “Fraternity ward” is pretty good.

    Mary Worth: On the other hand, maybe there’s entirely too much sex in the comics. Also, surprised they didn’t source that quote to James Joyce.

    If the Nancy team spent less time on oldies music and live-modeling Aunt Fritzi, they’d realize that grades come via e-mail these days. You don’t even have to go to the right AOL channel anymore, guys!

    Rex Morgan, M.D.: You sure picked a strange way to accept Honey’s thanks, Rex, hopping around like you’d gotten a burning coal in your eye.

    Setting aside the politics, Tom Toles is pretty clever this morning.

  89. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 24th, 2013 at 11:27 am [Reply]

    ♫ Whenever I see your smiling face, I have to smile myself… ♫

  90. ralph
    February 24th, 2013 at 11:27 am [Reply]

    9CL: I thought today was funny, even though I was still mostly laughing at rather than with the cartoonist. That frumpy little man may be oversexed but I doubt he is getting too much sex. The cartoonist has imagination and talent, but like Batiuk, he doesn’t seem to be making very good use of it. If he would stay away from things he obviously knows nothing about (rural life, and people not like him), I would have to say, more power to him. Somehow I doubt that CC prompted today’s strip. If some episodes really are as sultry as I have heard suggested here, the general public might have complained.
    MW: If I thought that sometime in the future I would need a visual aid to help me puke, I would print out that panel of John and Mary. Okay, bring on the next seedy old man who will inexplicably fall for this 90 year old prying old biddy.

  91. gleeb
    February 24th, 2013 at 11:36 am [Reply]

    Pluggers: …have heard of planning ahead, but want nothing to do with it.

  92. Baka Gaijin
    February 24th, 2013 at 11:36 am [Reply]

    @John C Fremont (#58): Mr. Rodgers covered “Cat Scratch Fever?” Really? Wow. There’s nothing that man couldn’t do.

    @KreatureFeatures (#63): Mr. Dill imagined Mary with the neckerchief to hide Ms. Worth’s liver-spotted old lady leathery chest.

    @The Right Venerable Pasdordan (#88) on Dilbert: True, though exaggerated.

    @ralph (#90) on Mary Worth: For a better Mary Worth related emetic, there’s a photo of her in a bustier and tasseled pasties floating around the Internet. By the way, great username/post content combination.

  93. Jocelyn Knockersbury
    February 24th, 2013 at 11:45 am [Reply]

    I’d say the Funkyverse was located on disturbed ground a la Poltergeist where they moved the headstones and not the bodies, but I doubt they even bothered to move the headstones before building there.

  94. Doctor Handsome
    February 24th, 2013 at 11:52 am [Reply]

    Other comic strips depicting a guy driving off a bridge and getting annihilated by a train might shy away from having a panel with a close-up of the steering wheel wrecking his face, but not Dick Tracy! OH WAIT NO OTHER FUCKING STRIP WOULD DEPICT THAT.

  95. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 24th, 2013 at 11:52 am [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#80): “May the road rise up to meet you, may the wind be ever at your back.”

    It is actually an old Irish blessing, meaning, roughly, “May you be able to get drunk enough to fall on your face, and may your carminative be always effective.”

    I believe it sounds better in the Gaelic.

  96. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 24th, 2013 at 11:55 am [Reply]

    @Notebooked (#85): The guy from Mary Worth And Me ought to be happy now — he was wishing for a giant floating Mary head yesterday.

    And Bats Colon Left-Bracket was there a couple of days ago!

  97. Doctor Handsome
    February 24th, 2013 at 11:58 am [Reply]

    If it’s really an energy-seeking missile, sticking close to Spidey might actually be Daredevil’s best bet here.

  98. XtinaS
    February 24th, 2013 at 11:59 am [Reply]

    SWEET JESUS WHAT IS THAT EXPRESSION. Dear John Dill: Are you moving in order to start a new life of smarmy crime? Be honest now.

  99. Zerowolf
    February 24th, 2013 at 12:01 pm [Reply]

    ??Mary in the Sky with Gina
    Mary in the Sky with Gina
    Mary in the Sky with Gina??

  100. Digger
    February 24th, 2013 at 12:06 pm [Reply]

    Well, at least John Dill still has Pink Frosting Mary to help him through those long cold New York nights. That is, until he licks her so much that she disintegrates into a pile of gooey crap.

  101. Doctor Handsome
    February 24th, 2013 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

    “But what if I fail?” Wait, failure is posited here as a merely hypothetical outcome? This is the most optimistic Funky Winkerbean ever.

  102. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 24th, 2013 at 12:09 pm [Reply]

    DT: I hope they get around to explaining what the minced oath this is all about. Who killed whom in the Japanese detention camp, and why, and who confessed and why, and why bury the confession? Was it Sweatbox? He wasn’t Japanese; was he a guard? Was he in the habit of killing people, and stuffing their bodies in the family vault? How did he get to be so rich and prominent, buddies with the mayor? What did he hope to accomplish by kidnapping a little girl to blackmail Star Trek guy into making a false confession? The drawings are pretty, but this is the most incoherent plot ever.

  103. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    February 24th, 2013 at 12:09 pm [Reply]

    A3G: Wow, a homemade bomb, a police investigation, and an arrest and confession? This is the most exciting A3G plot in years—or so people are saying; we haven’t actually seen any of it.

    ASM: Isn’t Daredevil supposed to be a good guy? Then why is he flying over the densely populated city, instead of avoiding the missile over the open sea?

  104. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    February 24th, 2013 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

    @gleeb (#44):

    Forgot to reiterate that every spot in Paris has a view of the Eiffel Tower.

    Just as every spot in DC has a view of one of the monuments or the Capitol.

  105. Baka Gaijin
    February 24th, 2013 at 12:13 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#95): Carminative. Someone at work is going to have this pinned to his locker.

  106. The Right Venerable Pasdordan
    February 24th, 2013 at 12:14 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#92): …So you don’t actually watch the new guy stroke out at his desk? I must say, I’m disappointed.

  107. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    February 24th, 2013 at 12:16 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#64): I believe that bulldog baby pretty much captures what happened when I tried to get up this morning.

  108. Majicou
    February 24th, 2013 at 12:21 pm [Reply]

    H&J: And if you’re left-handed, the fountain pen allows you to create a piece of paper smeared illegibly with ink whenever you want. Hooray.

    Ziggy: Ziggy’s ritual sacrifices to the avian gods have won him mercy this day. But tomorrow… who knows?

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#95): You can at least be sure it’ll be spelled incomprehensibly in Gaelic.

  109. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 24th, 2013 at 12:25 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#103): ASM: Isn’t Daredevil supposed to be a good guy? Then why is he flying over the densely populated city, instead of avoiding the missile over the open sea?

    I don’t think DD can actually fly – just swing from building to building, much like Spiderman, only he uses some kind of grapnels, instead of magic webbing.

  110. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    February 24th, 2013 at 12:35 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#109): Ah, tripped up by my own comic-book ignorance once again! Thanks!

  111. Peanut Gallery
    February 24th, 2013 at 12:41 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#95): It’s sort of like “May the good Lord take a liking to you, and blow you up real soon!”

  112. Peanut Gallery
    February 24th, 2013 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

    A3G – “That creep Evan! I should’ve known!!” is going to be my all-purpose exclamation for nefarious occurrences from now on.

  113. Old Folkie
    February 24th, 2013 at 12:51 pm [Reply]

    @Jocelyn Knockersbury (#93): Not to mention the radon in the soil…

  114. Peanut Gallery
    February 24th, 2013 at 12:53 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#102): Dick Tracy really should adopt the tradition of gathering everyone together in the drawing room at the end of the story, and explaining the whole thing. I’m sure the artists could give him a good-looking English country manor to do his explaining in. Meanwhile, I’ll just ignore the plot and enjoy the artwork.

  115. Peanut Gallery
    February 24th, 2013 at 1:04 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#114):
    “You see, Lord Bigglesworth, it all started back during World War II, when–”
    “That creep Evan! I should’ve known!!”

  116. Poteet
    February 24th, 2013 at 1:12 pm [Reply]

    Thank you, Uncle Lumpy! Wait, do I see him receding into the distance? THANK YOU, UNCLE LUMPY!

  117. the REAL Mark Trail
    February 24th, 2013 at 1:12 pm [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#4): THANK YOU!

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#50): ratites indeed, with more to come …

    Today’s Mark Trail Sunday page was done by me recently. Rheas are ione of the 4 ratites and I will be doing pages ojn the other 3 over the next few months…. I am especially excited about the upcoming Cassowary page! STAY TUNED!
    ‘James Allen
    http://www.facebook.com/groups/228474710549025/

  118. The Right Venerable Pasdordan
    February 24th, 2013 at 1:16 pm [Reply]

    I can’t believe it took me so long to remember this comment from remmy in yesterthread:

    It’s been a grand morning! Remember back in 9CL when Amos was laying right on top of blond bimbo looking like they were humping on a stage (the arc is the proposal). I got so pissed off that I contacted a paper about dropping the comic. I just got notification that they ARE GOING TO DO IT. Take that Brooke – one more step towards the poor house for you and your pretentious ilk!

    That’s what McEldowney’s responding to in today’s strip!

  119. The Right Venerable Pasdordan
    February 24th, 2013 at 1:17 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#116): Ew. Is that a giant Uncle Lumpy head I see outside my window? I don’t fancy that a-tall.

  120. Poteet
    February 24th, 2013 at 1:19 pm [Reply]

    MW — As a woman of a certain age, I could potentially have appreciated a fantasy strip featuring a woman of a certain age who is the object of appreciation, love, and yes, occasional lust. Thank you, MW, for taking that potential barely-formed little fantasy and crushing it like a steamroller.

  121. bats :[
    February 24th, 2013 at 1:22 pm [Reply]

    @Ratiocinator (#24): Isn’t “overgendered” when you have a penis for a head?
    Exhbit A: The djinn in Pibgorn.
    Thank you.

  122. KreatureFeatures
    February 24th, 2013 at 1:24 pm [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#4): I feel the same way about Sunday Mark Trail. It reminds me of childhood. The Real Mark Trail did a nice job with today’s strip, though he neglected to mention that a cassowary will gladly kick a man to pieces. Dick Tracy, are you listening? Death by cassowary would be a great way to finish off a villain.

  123. Inexplicable Bear Tongue
    February 24th, 2013 at 1:24 pm [Reply]

    @gleeb (#44): JP: Not only that, but every window in the house offers a view of the Eiffel Tower. You’re admiring it out the front window, turn around toward the back of the apartment and THERE IT IS through the back window!

    RMMD: You know, call me inattentive, which could certainly never happen as it pertains to this strip, but didn’t Rex and June arrive in San Diego the very same day today’s strip is happening?

  124. Poteet
    February 24th, 2013 at 1:25 pm [Reply]

    @the REAL Mark Trail (#117): A nice strip and I learned a lot, thank you! “Ratite” is my New Word of the day, and somehow I am going to work it into a conversation this week.

  125. Uncle Lumpy
    February 24th, 2013 at 1:25 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#120):

    Thank you, MW, for taking that potential barely-formed little fantasy and crushing it like a steamroller.

    So we’re off the hook for the shrines and the fanfic?

  126. Uncle Lumpy
    February 24th, 2013 at 1:29 pm [Reply]

    @KreatureFeatures (#122):

    … a cassowary will gladly kick a man to pieces.

    Or a Fox. Slylock has good reason to be Cassowary.

  127. Poteet
    February 24th, 2013 at 1:30 pm [Reply]

    DT — I think that “black ice” wording is way cool and I wish the black ice on Iowa roads would figure out how to do that, because some drivers here are remarkably slow to catch on.

  128. Poteet
    February 24th, 2013 at 1:30 pm [Reply]

  129. Poteet
    February 24th, 2013 at 1:32 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#121): Thank you! These occasional little anti-PIB innoculations really help.

  130. billman
    February 24th, 2013 at 1:38 pm [Reply]

    Don’t know if this is the right place to put this but the refresh (or reload in firefox) has gone wonky here. I used to be able to reload and it would come back to the spot I had been at in the comments so I could then continue on, but starting yesterday, I think, it now goes to where i was, then immediate hops to the top of the comment list like I’ve hit the link to comments on the front page. So i then have to scroll down to where i was, a bit annoying. Don’t know if It’s my end or yours.

  131. BigTed
    February 24th, 2013 at 1:39 pm [Reply]

    Pearls Before Swine: If a pig actually tried to eat dinner at a barbecue restaurant, I’m pretty sure he could win any “had a bad day” competition.

  132. Gladly, the cross-eyed bear
    February 24th, 2013 at 1:43 pm [Reply]

    FW: Thanks for that little speech about courage or whatever, but what I was really wondering about was how soul-crushing it must be to spend your whole working life as a high school band director. Is this book about your struggle to keep from committing suicide?

    // no offense to actual band directors!

  133. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 24th, 2013 at 1:45 pm [Reply]

    @billman (#130): I see that sort of thing in Windows now and then, for some reason, but not Linux. Usually rebooting helps. Does it do it in other browsers?

  134. KreatureFeatures
    February 24th, 2013 at 1:46 pm [Reply]

    @the REAL Mark Trail (#117): Oh there you are – I had not yet seen your comment when I made mine at #122. Nice job today; funny that we both mentioned the cassowary in our comments. I read “In a Sunburned Country” by Bill Bryson and he mentions how fearful these flightless birds are, even to a hardened bunch like the Aussies. I think Australia itself would make a good topic for a future Sunday MT. It’s an ancient continent that’s never been subducted, and as a consequence has evolved a unique and highly deadly mix of wildlife.

  135. BigTed
    February 24th, 2013 at 1:47 pm [Reply]

    Blondie: If they gave Oscars for “real life,” I think the best Dagwood could hope for is Costume Design for his unique hair and vintage steampunk outfits. But people would still complain about how the dork always ends up with the hot girl.

  136. Poteet
    February 24th, 2013 at 1:47 pm [Reply]

    9CL — No, Brooke. The problem is not “too much sex.” The problem is “sniggering, leering, pretentious, drooling, smug, obnoxious, obsessive pseudo-sex that drives certain readers to take temporary vows of celibacy, and by ‘certain readers’ I mean ‘me.’”

  137. KreatureFeatures
    February 24th, 2013 at 1:48 pm [Reply]

    @KreatureFeatures (#134): Oops, misuse of “fearful.” Should have said “feared.”

  138. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    February 24th, 2013 at 1:52 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#65):

    Luann: So, bursting with “inner beauty” despite being neurotic, self-centered pills. I think I see where Luann gets it from.

    Yes, Inner Beauty – who would have imagined it is genetically inherited? Like spastic colon.

  139. Baka Gaijin
    February 24th, 2013 at 1:53 pm [Reply]

    @Amos Snarkadder, CQB (#138): I agree. Luann is as funny as a spastic colon.

  140. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    February 24th, 2013 at 1:58 pm [Reply]

    @Digger (#100):

    Well, at least John Dill still has Pink Frosting Mary to help him through those long cold New York nights. That is, until he licks her so much that she disintegrates into a pile of gooey crap.

    I hope he has the good sense to use a condom. A flavored one, of course. Pink flavor.

  141. Huckleberry Fink
    February 24th, 2013 at 2:00 pm [Reply]

    Have you seen the totally BOTCHED color job some monkey did on today’s Gasoline Alley? Special appearance by Rufus’ red ball cap:

    http://www.gocomics.com/gasolinealley/2013/02/24

  142. The Right Venerable Pasdordan
    February 24th, 2013 at 2:00 pm [Reply]

    @Amos Snarkadder, CQB (#140): …And that’s enough internet for one day!

  143. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    February 24th, 2013 at 2:11 pm [Reply]

    MW I have several friends and family members, some deceased, some living but distant, who I would love to see again. But, regardless of my affection and longing, I never, ever want to see them hovering outside my airplane window.
    // On the other hand, I would be ever so grateful if Mary saw a giant Aldo head rising out of the sea, portside.

  144. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    February 24th, 2013 at 2:12 pm [Reply]

    @The Right Venerable Pasdordan (#142): And Sunday, of all days!

  145. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    February 24th, 2013 at 2:15 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#139): “Laughing” on the inside.

  146. Ratiocinator
    February 24th, 2013 at 2:19 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#121): I think that’s “overgenitaled”, but I’m no urologist, so I can’t be sure that’s the proper term for this condition.

  147. Victory Garden
    February 24th, 2013 at 2:20 pm [Reply]

    9CL: McEldowney trollin’. Especially with that last panel. Holding hands indeed. Wear gloves or you’ll wind up in the same position from a few months back.

  148. Poteet
    February 24th, 2013 at 2:22 pm [Reply]

    A3G — When you get right down to it, this storyline is a strong argument for having one’s bombs made by professionals.

  149. EatsShootsAndLeaves
    February 24th, 2013 at 2:27 pm [Reply]

    John Dill is all about Mary for the same reason that every male in those ridiculous Twilight movies were all about that Bella character, which is to say, for no damn reason at all.

  150. sully
    February 24th, 2013 at 2:28 pm [Reply]

    Omnipotent Mary Worth has finally become ‘ZARDOZ’!

  151. Poteet
    February 24th, 2013 at 2:31 pm [Reply]

    PV — When you get right down to it, this storyline is a strong argument for drinking ale instead of tea.

  152. Majicou
    February 24th, 2013 at 2:34 pm [Reply]

    Brooke, that letter didn’t read “the comics,” it read “your comics.” It’s an important distinction.

  153. bats :[
    February 24th, 2013 at 2:39 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#26): hahahahahahahahaha!

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#28): can’t say that I have. More’s the pity…

    RMMD: sorry, but this makes a lot more sense than the dialog published in today’s strip. Rex is tanked.

  154. seismic-2
    February 24th, 2013 at 2:42 pm [Reply]

    May the road rise up to meet you, may the wind be ever at your back.” The syndicate messed up today. That wasn’t supposed to be the epigraph of today’s Mary Worth; instead, it was supposed to be in today’s Dick Tracy.

  155. Poteet
    February 24th, 2013 at 2:48 pm [Reply]

    MW — I have to fly in a few days, and if I see Proud Mary outside the window, I’ll be buying my first airplane drink. Drinks.

  156. Droopy Says
    February 24th, 2013 at 2:52 pm [Reply]

    Mary Mirthless: This is obviously not “Nightmare at 20,000 Feet,” as Mary is not sabotaging an engine. What we have here is a behind-the-scenes-look at “The Arrival,” where an empty plane lands at an airport. Already the jetliner has been reduced to two passengers and the cockpit crew. And then there were none . . .

  157. Poteet
    February 24th, 2013 at 2:52 pm [Reply]

    @The Right Venerable Pasdordan (#119): Nonono, see that ethereal looking cloud in the distance? Uncle Lumpy is enveloped in it. He is such stuff as dreams are made on, and his little life is rounded with a sleep.

  158. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 24th, 2013 at 2:57 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#115):
    DICK TRACY: You see, Lord Bigglesworth, it all started back during World War II, when–
    SAM CATCHEM: That creep Evan! I should’ve known!!
    TRACY: Quiet, Sam! As I was saying, among the internees at Camp Freedom…
    SAM: It’s because I’m missing an arm, isn’t it?
    TRACY: You are NOT missing an arm. And put out that cigarette.
    SAM: (muttering) Life is brutal!
    VISCOUNT BIGGLESWORTH: But all those bodies in the mausoleum? What? What? What?
    CHIEF: Detective Tracy was getting to that.
    DICK TRACY: That’s right. As I was saying, when the mudlarks found…
    VITAMIN FLINTHEART: It WAS Coach Thorpe!
    TRACY: Not exactly, Vitamin. Gil Thorpe sent the Mudlarks to the lake…
    TESS TRUEHEART: To test his inflatable coccyx, right?
    SAM: No. He’s probably outside.
    BIGGLES: Yes. He was dancing the mortise and tenon, as the young people put it these days.
    CHIEF: Clam down! Clam down, everybody! Let Tracy explain it his own way.
    TRACY: What it comes down to is, I think Otto was sincere in his desire to help his people.
    FLINTHEART: Villainous wolves! You can’t mean that! Can you?
    CHIEF: So, if it wasn’t Sweatbox, and Otto’s innocent, that can only mean…
    TRACY: Right. Toad, put down that softball!
    TOAD: In your dreams, copper. You’ll never take me alive! (Throws softball, jumps out window of Castle Bigglesworth)
    SAM: Ouch! My spleen.
    CHIEF: (Looking out window) Oh. I’m afraid she’s, she’s…
    TRACY: Sleeping the fabled Odin-sleep. Yes.
    FLINTHEART: I say, Lord Bigglesworth. Can you lend me a pair of your underpants? Mine are still at the cleaners.
    SAM: Well, if that isn’t the Last of the Mojitos!
    (ALL) Laughter.
    (Theme music)
    ANNOUNCER: Join us next week when Federated Lard presents Dick Tracy and…THE MOUE OF REMONSTRANCE!

    CHORUS: ♫Lard lard lard lard lard
    It’s the other shortening! ♫
    ANNOUNCER: Federated. Lard you can trust!

  159. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    February 24th, 2013 at 3:05 pm [Reply]

    Apparently, I have a relative of Herb and/or Jamaal in one of my classes:
    “This is just one of the numerous examples of communications that occur over the course of this season.”

  160. Atticus Dogsbody
    February 24th, 2013 at 3:06 pm [Reply]

    No damned cloud ruins Mary Worth’s shot!

    Are you paying attention, Gina?

  161. Liam
    February 24th, 2013 at 3:09 pm [Reply]

    A3G-Tommie, is waiting for the arrival of a man from California with information about a woman there who Tommie will feel compelled to follow instead of Margo.

  162. Joe Blevins
    February 24th, 2013 at 3:11 pm [Reply]

    Re: Spiderman, panel one – “And here’s some more information about what our villain isn’t doing in his hideaway, in case you were curious! He’s not advising his henchman to watch the 1999 Katie Holmes movie Go. He’s not singing along with the theme song from Go Go Gophers. And he’s not shouting advice to Gogo Yubari from Kill Bill, Vol. 1. So now you know.”

    Also, this entire comic strip seems to be presented from the perspective of a person who’s currently competing in a limbo contest.

  163. Liam
    February 24th, 2013 at 3:21 pm [Reply]

    Spiderman-”My idea is to ride that missile like a bronco.”

    FW-There is a woman in California who can help you ensure that you don’t fail.

  164. Nekrotzar
    February 24th, 2013 at 3:22 pm [Reply]

    FW: I’m going to guess that the original line was simply Just make sure that it’s a failure, but there was too much empty space in the word balloon.

  165. Crankshafts funky smelling corpse
    February 24th, 2013 at 3:28 pm [Reply]

    @The Right Venerable Pasdordan (#118): LOL. How entertaining!

  166. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    February 24th, 2013 at 3:30 pm [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#16): They do sell plows for pick-up trucks – most of the snow plowing here in Chicago is done with such things – but for rural properties it makes more sense to have the plow as a tractor attachment.

    A real Plugger would have such a plow – probably because he’s the guy the city folk pay to clear their drives – and not have to rig up such a stupid replacement. (Although… there’s that Pluggers are stupid cheap-asses aspect of things… nevermind.)

  167. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    February 24th, 2013 at 3:34 pm [Reply]

    @Ratiocinator (#24): I suppose, at a stretch, you could use “overgendered” to describe someone who “presents” at one of the gendered extremes – such as hoo-rah weightlifter guys, Barbie-doll women, or drag queens – but in no universe inhabited by humans could Amos ever be considered that masculine. Basically, he’d have to be more manly than people in the normal spectrum of masculinity, including people like Daniel Craig and Tommy Lee Jones and the Old Spice Guy, and that’s just patently ridiculous, even if it is Edda’s perception we’re talking about here.

  168. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    February 24th, 2013 at 3:36 pm [Reply]

    Regarding Rex Morgan: Well, Honey is a stripper. So she was giving Rex a show, for free, which I guess does count as a favor, sort of?

  169. Crankshafts funky smelling corpse
    February 24th, 2013 at 3:36 pm [Reply]

    @The Right Venerable Pasdordan (#88): There is supposedly a SDLC* best practice called ‘code review’ where one is supposed to get up in front of one’s peers and explain what and why you are coding your solution that way, but nobody ever has the time for it. Dilbert does have the ring of truth to it, however, and that is going up in my cube, come Monday.

    I do mock a lot of code I have to work on, that’s been written by others no longer employed by the firm. Otherwise I would get them to go fix their wretched spaghetti code.

    *Software Development Life Cycle

  170. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 24th, 2013 at 3:43 pm [Reply]

    @Joe Blevins (#162):

    mmm, Katie Holmes.

    mmmm^2, Gogo Yubari.

  171. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 24th, 2013 at 3:45 pm [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#166): You are right. In the snowier parts of the country, every other guy with a pickup has a plow attachment. It’s a manly accessory (like having a pickup truck, or a shotgun). If you don’t have one, your neighbor certainly does, and will probably plow your driveway just for the fun of it. (It is fun, really.)

  172. The Right Venerable Pasdordan
    February 24th, 2013 at 3:45 pm [Reply]

    @Crankshafts funky smelling corpse (#169): Interestingly enough (or not), a coder friend mentioned this strip on Facebook today. He confirms that mockery does go on, even if you’re picking up your own code from a while back.

  173. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    February 24th, 2013 at 3:45 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#50): @Cloudbuster (#53): I figure that there are two possibilities: either we are channeling the larger reaction of the world at large to McE’s work, or we’re about the only audience he has left. (It would be rather strange – but entertaining – if he was in fact lurking about here.)

  174. Horace Broon
    February 24th, 2013 at 3:46 pm [Reply]

    FG: “What?? Thanks to my daughter, Gordon’s Aliiiiive?!?”

    (Yes, I’m running the Brian-Blessed-as-Vultan gag into the ground. And I don’t care.)

    FW:
    If you can keep your arms when all about you,
    Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
    If you can trust yourself when the band doubts you,
    And everyone you know is doubting too,
    If you can simply throw a tune together,
    Or sell turkeys, yet never make a sale,
    If you can lead the band out in all weather,
    And make them play through rain and sleet and hail,

    If you can let the Battle be your master,
    Although you know it always ends the same,
    If you can meet Disaster and Disaster,
    Because Triumph is never in the game,
    If you can fail through risk, not being timid,
    And always end by smirking a lame pun,
    Yours is Westview, and everything that’s in it,
    And, what is more, you’ll be a band leader, my son.

    MW “My friend is on his way to New York” Less than a day after a meddle, and she hasn’t even bothered remembering the guy’s name.

    Phantom: Wait, since when does the Ghost-Who-Moralises disapprove of guns? I mean, he’s not Batman, and that isn’t a utilty belt he’s got round his waist. Does he only do the Lone Ranger shooting-the-guns-out-of-the-villains’-hands thing?

  175. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 24th, 2013 at 3:46 pm [Reply]

    @Crankshafts funky smelling corpse (#169): I used to write a lot of spaghetti code. With vodka sauce.

  176. The Right Venerable Pasdordan
    February 24th, 2013 at 3:47 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#171): “In the snowier parts of the country, every other guy with a pickup has a plow attachment.” <—-This is not true. It's about every third or fourth guy. (When we lived in the parsonage, one of the guys had this attachment and would come plow the lot out. I appreciated it.)

  177. Uncle Lumpy
    February 24th, 2013 at 3:47 pm [Reply]

    @Crankshafts funky smelling corpse (#169):

    Hospital patients also code in many different ways and seldom have time to explain why.

  178. Horace Broon
    February 24th, 2013 at 3:49 pm [Reply]

    @Ratiocinator (#24):
    The way I remember it being it explained, in a Usenet discussion long ago:
    Gender: What’s between your ears
    Sex: What’s between your legs
    Sexuality: Who’s between your legs

  179. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 24th, 2013 at 3:49 pm [Reply]

    @Horace Broon (#174): Bravo! Huzzah! Take up the White Dude’s burden, man!

  180. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    February 24th, 2013 at 3:51 pm [Reply]

    @Ratiocinator (#57): As I noted, I suspect that the hand-holding is actually not as innocent as it seems, but rather a big ol’ FU cloaked in plausible deniability, given that the last few times he’s depicted characters having sex in 9CL he’s represented it by showing their hands fondling each other in suggestive fashion. Unlike in Pibgorn, which has become increasingly hardcore over the last few years, 9CL plays more with the madonna-whore angle, and so tends more towards the tittering innuendo than the in-your-face perversion. If this were a different strip, I’d give it the benefit of the doubt, but given Pibgorn, and given the earlier hand sex, I think this cartoon is intended to be a big ol’ stick in the eye of his perceived censors.

    //btw, Brooke, if you are reading these comments, it’s not the sex I object to. It’s the skeevy, squicky, tittering, oh aren’t I so naughty, porny quality of the sex. Go read some Oglaf and see how it should be done.

  181. Huckleberry Fink
    February 24th, 2013 at 3:52 pm [Reply]

    @Joe Blevins (#162):

    Kingpin is singing along to the Ali Dee version of Go Speed Racer Go: “Go Speed Racer (Go!) Go Speed Racer (Go!) Go Speed Racer, go! (Mach 5! Go! Go!).”

  182. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 24th, 2013 at 3:53 pm [Reply]

    @The Right Venerable Pasdordan (#176): Perhaps I was guilty of a smidge of hyperbole. Sure, every third or fourth. But the other’s wanted one.

    // And you never did see anyone try to rig a house door to the front bumper, did you?

  183. Calico
    February 24th, 2013 at 3:53 pm [Reply]

    MW – another thought balloon-vision-worship thingy! I love it.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sYJhhKSXOBo

    And this is really quite lovely. For you, Ms. Worth.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=thwflLacsMc

  184. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    February 24th, 2013 at 3:54 pm [Reply]

    @the REAL Mark Trail (#117): I really love your work on the Sunday Trails – this was another good one. :)

  185. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    February 24th, 2013 at 3:57 pm [Reply]

    @Horace Broon (#174): Does he only do the Lone Ranger shooting-the-guns-out-of-the-villains’-hands thing?

    Yep. If he needs to take out the villains themselves, he punches them with his skull ring after they’ve been disarmed.

  186. Horace Broon
    February 24th, 2013 at 3:58 pm [Reply]

  187. Calico
    February 24th, 2013 at 4:02 pm [Reply]

    DT – and I thought Philly Leotardo’s whacking was bad.
    Can I go barf now please?

  188. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 24th, 2013 at 4:03 pm [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#180): I suspect that the hand-holding is actually not as innocent as it seems, but rather a big ol’ FU cloaked in plausible deniability…

    Oh, yes. He’s having fun.

  189. The Right Venerable Pasdordan
    February 24th, 2013 at 4:04 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#182): No, but I did see a few house air-conditioners sticking out of the back of somebody’s van…

  190. Da Coconino Kid
    February 24th, 2013 at 4:05 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#y183):

    @Baka Gaijin (#182):

    I had to Google up “ecdysiast.”

    I got a picture of Our Lady of Guadalupe and two of Martin van Buren. Time to clear the cache, I guess.

    Well, I guess we know what Unka Lumpy’s been up to, in his time away from this site … I gotta say, Our Lady of Guadalupe/Martin van Buren slashfic is pretty esoteric…

  191. The Right Venerable Pasdordan
    February 24th, 2013 at 4:05 pm [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#180): Thank you for that comment. Dead-on.

    Go read some Oglaf and see how it should be done.

    Or not done, as the case may be. (That is, funny comic, but don’t imitate its characters. Oh my, no!)

  192. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    February 24th, 2013 at 4:08 pm [Reply]

    @The Right Venerable Pasdordan (#191): No, no indeed!

    (And, for those of you unfamiliar with Oglaf, it is extremely NSFW. But funny. And very well drawn.)

  193. Huckleberry Fink
    February 24th, 2013 at 4:10 pm [Reply]

    @Horace Broon (#174): Mandrake’s enemy Jockamo the Warlock looks like a bald Brian-Blessed-as-Vultan:

    http://www.seattlepi.com/comics-and-games/fun/Mandrake/2013-02-23/

  194. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    February 24th, 2013 at 4:11 pm [Reply]

    @Horace Broon (#174): FW – *applause!*

  195. Calico
    February 24th, 2013 at 4:13 pm [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#168):
    I am enjoying how June has no problem with Honey baring her ta-ta’s and nether regions. “It’s a gift!”
    I guess Rex needs a third party in order to get excited. Perhaps June too.

  196. Alison
    February 24th, 2013 at 4:15 pm [Reply]

    “Mary Worth”: It should be fun when Mr. Dill meets Chef Pierre. No doubt Pierre is expecting a young person (there aren’t many retired people acting as interns), and he’s going to be awfully surprised to see an elderly man who’s in such bad shape he almost had a heart attack lifting a cake, even with a partner’s help. Also, Pierre will soon realize Mr. Dill is totally bananas, as soon as he starts excitedly talking about how he saw the giant floating head of his lust object in the clouds while on the plane.

  197. Calico
    February 24th, 2013 at 4:19 pm [Reply]

    @Alison (#196):
    He’ll most likely be chained up every night in a rat-infested basement in NYC, being forced to work 18-hour days/nights and live on leaking water, old flour, and rancid vanilla extract.

  198. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 24th, 2013 at 4:28 pm [Reply]

    @Horace Broon (#174): “Does he only do the Lone Ranger shooting-the-guns-out-of-the-villains’-hands thing?”

    yes.

  199. Mr. O’Malley
    February 24th, 2013 at 4:29 pm [Reply]

    Are we commemorating the recent death of Tandyn Almer?

  200. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 24th, 2013 at 4:30 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#195): one word: Nikki.

  201. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    February 24th, 2013 at 4:31 pm [Reply]

    @Horace Broon (#174):

    MW “My friend is on his way to New York” Less than a day after a meddle, and she hasn’t even bothered remembering the guy’s name.

    Yep. Now he’s just somebody that she used to know.

  202. Mr. O’Malley
    February 24th, 2013 at 4:35 pm [Reply]

    That “Irish saying” “May the road rise up to meet you” should be put in a box along with “the Chinese character for ‘crisis’ is composed of ‘danger’ plus ‘opportunity’” and “Eskimos have 800 words for ‘snow’”, locked securely and dropped into an erupting volcano.

  203. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    February 24th, 2013 at 4:40 pm [Reply]

    @Alison (#196): It should be fun when Mr. Dill meets Chef Pierre. No doubt Pierre is expecting a young person (there aren’t many retired people acting as interns), and he’s going to be awfully surprised disgusted to see an elderly man retired hotel manager…

  204. Majicou
    February 24th, 2013 at 4:48 pm [Reply]

    @Mr. O’Malley (#202): I’m sensing some hostility. </counselortroi>

  205. bats :[
    February 24th, 2013 at 4:49 pm [Reply]

    @Horace Broon (#178): cool rule of thumb.
    Then again, the Djinn’s head…between his ears…looks like…well, you know…

  206. nomuse
    February 24th, 2013 at 4:51 pm [Reply]

    MW — “Stewardess! There’s….something….on the….wing!”

  207. Anonymous
    February 24th, 2013 at 4:59 pm [Reply]

    Relying on the ideas that come from Newspaper Spiderman is easily the best way to make sure you are struck by a timed-explosive “Energy seeking” missile.

  208. Huckleberry Fink
    February 24th, 2013 at 5:00 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#8): Just think: actress Rhea Perlman was named after a flightless bird. And she was married to the Penguin.

    RHEA PERLMAN”S TOP 10 PICKS:

    Favorite Comic Book Hero (male) — Hawkman
    Favorite Comic Book Hero (female) — Black Canary
    Favorite Comic Book Villain — The Penguin Vulture
    Favorite Movie — Birdman of Alcatraz
    Favorite Book — To Kill a Mockingbird
    Favorite Actor (male) — Peter Finch
    Favorite Actor (female) — Merle Oberon
    Favorite Comic Strip — Shoe
    Favorite Song — Lullaby of Birdland
    Favorite TV Show — Cheers (Surprise!)

  209. Droopy Says
    February 24th, 2013 at 5:01 pm [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#166): I’ve seen trucks with those attachments. None of them were beat-up Plugger wrecks, and I never saw anyone use them the way the Plugger does–I’m sure the strain on the attachments and truck frame would lead to damage. (As everyone who has shoveled plowed snow from a driveway entry knows, that lovely fluffy stuff turns to ice and slush when it’s compressed. I doubt the Plugger would drive more than ten feet before bogging down against the snow piled up by his flat, unangled blade. )

    All I can believe here is that a Plugger would be dumb enough to make a cell-phone call while speeding along an icy road with a wooden door roped to his trade-marked Rusty Bumper.

  210. Mr. O’Malley
    February 24th, 2013 at 5:04 pm [Reply]

    I was reading Slylock upside down and I thought it said “the parrot is dead”. Why does Slylock believe it’s just pining for the fjords?

  211. Sequitur
    February 24th, 2013 at 5:05 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#158): I’ve got to say, I actually enjoyed that.

    And I haven’t had a drink yet!

  212. Da Coconino Kid
    February 24th, 2013 at 5:10 pm [Reply]

    Funky, Funky Winker-beans: … never again do I want to hear any FW character discussing his movements …

  213. Shrug, In Awe
    February 24th, 2013 at 5:11 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#158):

    I don’t often laugh out loud, but this was good for about four bursts of guffaw.

    Comment of the month, I’d say….

  214. Liam
    February 24th, 2013 at 5:12 pm [Reply]

    MW-May the road rise up to meet you as fall as you trip and fall.

  215. Shrug, with a Bouncy Browser
    February 24th, 2013 at 5:13 pm [Reply]

    @billman (#130):

    Happening to me today also; I don’t recall Firefox ever doing so before.

  216. Sequitur
    February 24th, 2013 at 5:13 pm [Reply]

    What’s that annoying thing up ahead? Ah, that’s just Sequitur with another Ripley’s!

    A HEN named JJ rescued from a chicken farm in Norfork, UK, has learned to count using playing cards!

    That hen’s not so smart. She once folded with a full house.

  217. Liam
    February 24th, 2013 at 5:14 pm [Reply]

    Slylock Fox-The parrot talked too much and had it’s tongue cut out.

  218. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 24th, 2013 at 5:14 pm [Reply]

    @Huckleberry Fink (#193): does he have a sidekick named Iko?

  219. Zerowolf
    February 24th, 2013 at 5:20 pm [Reply]

    BGSS: Yeah, right, doc. We know you sold Uriah’s Oxy’s to Snuffy and Lukey.

  220. Sequitur
    February 24th, 2013 at 5:24 pm [Reply]

    My Cage: If I didn’t know this is a repeat I’d swear Ed Power reads Uncle Lumpy.

    No, wait. Uncle Lumpy must read Ed Power!

    //It still has to do with Scott Baio. Meh.

  221. Government Cheese
    February 24th, 2013 at 5:44 pm [Reply]

    MW: Ah, thank the gods there’s an image of Mary in the clouds that I can yank to while on this flight. Yank yank YANK, oh wait now it looks like Quill.

  222. Sequitur
    February 24th, 2013 at 5:44 pm [Reply]

    Now I know what Calvin is doing today. He’s randomly wandering through other comics.

  223. Calico
    February 24th, 2013 at 5:45 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#216):
    Speaking for chickens who folded:
    http://www.janesfamilyfoods.com/en/chicken_detail.asp?productID=36
    I find this entirely gross. Everything else you put in the toaster will smell like “chicken.”
    Mmmmm, chicken toaster pastries!

  224. Sequitur
    February 24th, 2013 at 5:53 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#223): I notice that reading the ingredients it may contain egg.

    Just what parts of the chicken are they grinding up in that thing?!

  225. Uncle Lumpy
    February 24th, 2013 at 5:59 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#223):

    Everything else you put in the toaster will smell like “chicken.”

    There was a great exchange in the cancelled retro-detective series “The Good Guys” in which the Colin Hanks character says something like, “Oh my God, he was cooking frozen pizza in his toaster — it’s all full of cheese!”, and the Bradley Whitford character responds disapprovingly, “Anybody knows if you want to cook pizza, you got to put the toaster on its side.”

  226. Sequitur
    February 24th, 2013 at 6:06 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#225): It looks like they got with cheese too.

  227. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 24th, 2013 at 6:16 pm [Reply]

    @Mr. O’Malley (#199): Wow. The inventor of the bong. (Or so they say. I expect that was something that was independently invented and re-invented many times.)

  228. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 24th, 2013 at 6:17 pm [Reply]

    @Mr. O’Malley (#202): Right you are! That sounds like a job for the Railroad Police!

  229. the REAL Mark Trail
    February 24th, 2013 at 6:20 pm [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#184): THANK YOU! If you liked this one, just wait till you see the Cassowary page! other things coming up; wild dogs, lilies, monkeys, lizards and 0o0o0hhh s0o00o much more!

  230. tallyHO
    February 24th, 2013 at 6:29 pm [Reply]

    @Mr. O’Malley (#199): @Nehemiah Scudder (#227):

    Yeah. Notice how given all of his accomplishments are listed and spaced apart over many years, his biggest and most impacting accomplishment only merits one sentence.

    There should have been a book written about the trials and errors of inventing that.
    All of the comical explosions and wrong turns. “Back to the drawing board!”
    “The bubbling effect needs to be amplified.” “If my theory is right, this invention will eventually be so airtight that it can take any shape the creator imagines!”

    //i kid, i kid. He will be missed. Whoever he was.

  231. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 24th, 2013 at 6:29 pm [Reply]

    @the REAL Mark Trail (#229): *raises hand*

    may we have some fennec foxes?

  232. Majicou
    February 24th, 2013 at 6:32 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#223): Contrary to the ad copy, I don’t associate “Janes” so much with chicken as with catalogs of military hardware, but I guess they have to diversify in today’s economy.

  233. Anonymous
    February 24th, 2013 at 6:37 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#228):

    That sounds like a job for the Railroad Police!

    Ha! Those guys are in Tracy’s pocket!

  234. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 24th, 2013 at 6:39 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#230): for a substance that supposedly makes you stupid, I’ve seen some VERY inventive methods of creating smoking accessories.

    the multiple filter-flasks in series comes to mind.

  235. Ratiocinator
    February 24th, 2013 at 6:40 pm [Reply]

    @Horace Broon (#178): Ah, I’ll remember that. Thank you!

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#180): Rana, that suggestion at the end isn’t just good for Brooke; everybody should check out Oglaf. It’s pretty funny, but also frequently NSFW.

    This week’s strip is good, but it’s not one of the best I’ve seen since I began reading. Here is one of the best ones I’ve read. NSFW warning applies.

  236. Uncle Lumpy
    February 24th, 2013 at 6:44 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#226):

    I love Janes’s slogan, “Snacks … or jus’ cuz.”

    That “jus’ cuz” contains multitudes. To start with, doesn’t “cuz” get an apostrophe for the missing “be”, the way “jus” does for its missing “t”? Maybe they thought since “becuz” isn’t a word it didn’t deserve one? Or maybe after their exertions with “jus”, they were just fatigued ‘n’ embarrassed, and couldn’t go on.

    More significant is the way “jus’ cuz” is set up in contraposition to “snacks.” One eats snacks because one is hungry — but what motivations are contained within “jus’ cuz”? Is eating its own imperative now?

  237. ralph
    February 24th, 2013 at 6:49 pm [Reply]

    RMMD: That is some bizarre dialog today. Does Rex believe that nonsense? Is he betting that his wife will believe it? Is the cartoonist simply reminding us that real life frequently doesn’t make any sense? Does Honey believe that flashing a man, and then splitting is a “thank you”, rather than a tease? So many questions; so little interest in the answers. On to Monday
    I am reminded of the Doonesbury in which Nicole hits on Michael, asking if next weekend (or some such) is good for him. He replies that he doesn’t know, he’ll have to ask his wife. (Part of the connection is that both June and JJ are pregnant.) Rex strikes me just as unsuited for sneaking around, plus he has a lot more to lose financially that Michael did.

  238. Sequitur
    February 24th, 2013 at 6:54 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#236): Maybe it doesn’t need an apostrophe because they’re not referring to becuz.

  239. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 24th, 2013 at 7:30 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#211): @Shrug, In Awe (#213): Thank you! Just riffing on Peanut Gallery’s idea.

  240. Dartpaw86
    February 24th, 2013 at 7:39 pm [Reply]

    Mary saw Gina’s head in colour, while John sees Mary’s head in black and white. This proves John is colourblind. Which explains the cake.

  241. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 24th, 2013 at 7:41 pm [Reply]

    COTW post up.

  242. Crankshafts funky smelling corpse
    February 24th, 2013 at 8:01 pm [Reply]

    @The Right Venerable Pasdordan (#172): Oh yes; I’ve looked at stuff I’ve written and thought “WTF did I do it that way?” Stock answer is usually “It seemed like a good idea at the time.”

  243. Crankshafts funky smelling corpse
    February 24th, 2013 at 8:02 pm [Reply]

  244. Crankshafts funky smelling corpse
    February 24th, 2013 at 8:03 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#177): And often that is why their claims get rejected.

  245. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 24th, 2013 at 8:18 pm [Reply]

    MW: Little did Dr. Jeff know when he signed on to be Mary’s boyfriend that the position only meant being the senior male in the Mary Worth is the Godhead Society.

    S-M: “Energy seeking missile”? What, it’s locked onto Daredevil because he’s the only source of energy? Well I guess if it’s a choice between him and Spider-Man.

    FW: tsk. If she’s serious about being a bandleader she’ll have to do something about that excess arm.

    SFx: Meanwhile the not-quite-anthropomorphic dog shows a disquieting familiarity with Slylock.
    “Dad? Have you come back for me?”
    “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

    Momma: If it’s the Acme Company, Francis will fit right in at their quality control department. Just ask Wile E.

    H&L: Trixie Flagston is tormented by frustrated artistic ambitions. The sensation is only a dim memory for her creators.

    JP: I knew that Abbey bred horses, but I had no idea she’d trained one to talk. What? That’s a person named Groves. Eerie, man.

    RMMD: Actually it was a pretty naked—pun intended—grab for attention, a reaction to having to be a selfless nursemaid to her sickly friend. Rex’s psychology is slightly less funny than his attempt to gouge out his eye when it actually happened.

    H&J: Not that Herb seems like the most romantical of husbands, but do married couples who still live together write each other love letters on a regular basis? Is this a thing? Lifelong bachelor wants to know.

    Lockhorns: I read as far as Loretta saying “It doesn’t have a fishy smell” and then I passed out. What exactly is the state of her vagina?

    Baldo: Cruz wants to know if it’s true that Squidward offers prayers to Satan.

  246. The Right Venerable Pasdordan
    February 24th, 2013 at 8:53 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#226): “Flavoured.” Flavoured?! Don’t tell me this crap is spreading beyond the borders of the good ol’ USA?!!

  247. The Right Venerable Pasdordan
    February 24th, 2013 at 8:55 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#234): Why do I have the feeling that if I come back at midnight, there’ll be 50 learned comments on the differences between mesh screening and water filtration here? And why will I not be surprised to find such things?

  248. The Right Venerable Pasdordan
    February 24th, 2013 at 8:57 pm [Reply]

    @Crankshafts funky smelling corpse (#242): It might have been here, actually, that I heard somebody say the difference between a good coder and a great one is the willingness to document why you did what you did, so that you and whoever comes after you has a fighting shot at understanding it.

  249. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    February 24th, 2013 at 10:28 pm [Reply]

    @the REAL Mark Trail (#229): Excellent! I look forward to them.

  250. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 24th, 2013 at 11:00 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#155): It’s too bad they don’t allow you to bring spraypaint onboard.

  251. parcheesi
    February 25th, 2013 at 7:30 am [Reply]

    FUNKY WINKERBEAN
    1- Are you a student?
    2- Yes… I want to teach music.
    3- I guess. It seems like a lot of work.
    4- You never know. It wouldn’t hurt to try.
    5- Um, okay. / Suppose it doesn’t work out.
    6- In the long run, the things that really hurt are the things you didn’t do.

  252. Josh
    February 27th, 2013 at 11:25 am [Reply]

    Posting a test comment, please ignore

  253. Josh
    February 27th, 2013 at 11:26 am [Reply]

    Posting YET ANOTHER test comment, please CONTINUE to ignore

  254. Anon
    March 1st, 2013 at 5:03 pm [Reply]

    Apologies if I’m late on the draw here or someone beat me to it.
    I couldn’t resist

Comments are closed for this post.