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WOOO LET’S GET MUSHROOMS AND OLIVES WOOO!

Mary Worth, 4/18/13

Well, it looks like fate did indeed have other plans for Beth — plans that she would meet her crush in the parking lot on the way to the grocery store! It should be smooth sailing to love for these two … but wait! Why is Tom’s face obscured by shadow? Is something sinister afoot? Is Beth not headed to Food Team? Is she a devoted customer of Shop4Food, Food Team’s hated rival? Will she refuse to go grocery shopping with Tom because she’s only 16 FoodPoints away from earning a 20-cent-per-gallon discount on gas when she swipes her 4Food4Points card at participating Exxon and Mobil stations? CAN THIS LOVE BE SAVED???

Funky Winkerbean, 4/18/13

Finally, Les’s smug happiness is going to be crushed! About time, too, it’s taken a whole week. First Funky blabbed to his newscaster ex-wife, and now this information is getting to … someone … sinister. Someone who can’t afford a nice couch or functioning Venetian blinds. Someone drinking a beer. Could this be the dude who knocked up Lisa, lo those many years ago, resulting in the birth of Darrin? Could he ruin the entire project by being a dick, somehow? Probably, since nothing in the Funkyverse really makes sense, except to induce more misery!

Apartment 3-G, 4/18/13

Ha, it seems that despite the governor’s transparent macking on Lu Ann, her project still didn’t win. “Let’s hear it for helping kids with special needs! It sure is better than helping the kids of veterans, am I right? Teaching art to vets’ kids is garbage, basically.”

Mark Trail, 4/18/13

Shelly sure is mad about this fishing business! It’s almost as if she said that she didn’t enjoy the outdoors, and nobody listened and made her go on a camping trip anyway. I absolutely love her furious face in the final panel. It looks like she’s decided that if the boys insist on her killing an animal this afternoon, she’s going to just go find one and strangle it.

Spider-Man, 4/18/13

Busy CEO Kingpin doesn’t have time to just sit around and watch his newly enslaved minion beat up Spider-Man! He has important things to do on the other side of the room. That’s why he has his assistant keep tabs on things for him, so that Kingpin will be alerted in the extremely likely case that Spider-Man starts running away like a coward.

Blondie, 4/18/13

The characters in and/or the creators of Blondie have a sadly tame idea of how students on spring break act.

433 responses to “WOOO LET’S GET MUSHROOMS AND OLIVES WOOO!”

  1. Rocky Stoneaxe
    April 18th, 2013 at 7:27 am [Reply]

    The world’s FIRST crossword puzzle book was published by Simon and Schuster on April 18, 1924. LUJBEM FEJF plans to mark the occasion by tunneling into Bark Bark Prison to rescue Crypto from his unjust captivity…

    LIBERTAD! LIBERTAD! LIBERTAD!

  2. jim, some guy in iowa
    April 18th, 2013 at 7:28 am [Reply]

    mt: maybe they should have started off with something simple, like a short hike

  3. Old Folkie
    April 18th, 2013 at 7:31 am [Reply]

    Hi&Lois: Trixie wisely decides not to eat the roofing tar she was served…

    FW: At least the guy living in the run-down hovel has cable.

  4. Rocky Stoneaxe
    April 18th, 2013 at 7:31 am [Reply]

    Kingpin: “In some nutty way, I guess I win!”

  5. Pozzo
    April 18th, 2013 at 7:33 am [Reply]

    “Bend it back slowly and let it straighten, honey…then forward.” Man, I bet this isn’t the first time he’s said that.

  6. Rocky Stoneaxe
    April 18th, 2013 at 7:33 am [Reply]

    Garfield — Jon needs to work on his “O” face.

  7. Ranger
    April 18th, 2013 at 7:33 am [Reply]

    9CL: Also, thanks for not slowing me Doc.

  8. Ranger
    April 18th, 2013 at 7:34 am [Reply]

    Sorry about that, forgot to close my tag.

  9. Bill
    April 18th, 2013 at 7:36 am [Reply]

    MARY net-WORTH: There are three horns growing out of Tom’s head in panel 2.

  10. Drewbear
    April 18th, 2013 at 7:38 am [Reply]

    @Pozzo (#5): And those times ALSO always end with her dissatisfied and scowling.

  11. acilius
    April 18th, 2013 at 7:39 am [Reply]

    Are you sure that the can from which the mysterious stranger in Funky Winkerbean is drinking is labeled “Beer”? It looks like he crossed out a letter, either to change it from “Beer” to “Beef” or vice versa.

  12. Chyron HR
    April 18th, 2013 at 7:42 am [Reply]

    FW – So Frankie is going to sell his story (“One time I did it with that chick in a van.”) to all the tabloids, thereby besmirching Lisa’s Legacy Fund Dot Com. And this is entirely plausible because there is literally nothing in the world more important than this bland woman who died of caaaaaaaaaancer.

  13. Drewbear
    April 18th, 2013 at 7:43 am [Reply]

    A3G: “Giving away pitiably small amounts of money is the most fun I’ve had as governor! It’s nothing like when I was in college and spent days in a liquor-and-LSD-induced haze, participating in some of the kinkiest, nastiest, most fun orgies that you could possibly imagine! I still have flashbacks of blue people hanging around in the background of places, inviting me to rejoin them in mind-blowing sex!”

  14. Downpuppy, Glub Glub
    April 18th, 2013 at 7:44 am [Reply]

    Shelly seems a little upset that nobody realized her fashion waders have been in the closet since 2009 – http://www.fisherbabe.com/2009/09/high-fishing-fashion.html

  15. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    April 18th, 2013 at 7:44 am [Reply]

    9CL – If you are on your first date with someone, at the conversation at any point turns to you sincerely thanking them for not killing you during the date, you should consider this yet another Flaming Red Flag regarding the relationship.

    And if we had all this time to drive over, wallow in the mud, bark condescending orders to the cow’s owner, run home to pack the car full of furniture, drive back over, make out by the car … etc. etc. … yadda yadda … then why wasn’t there time to go and change first? Supervet here still hasn’t diagnosed the cow or really done anything other than drape her coat over it, and reply to offers of assistance with threats and insults.

  16. Rocky Stoneaxe
    April 18th, 2013 at 7:45 am [Reply]

  17. pugfuggly
    April 18th, 2013 at 7:46 am [Reply]

    MW “Food Team? I hear they have a special on beige spheroids this week! And we’re a little low on orange mush…”

    FW Oh man, that totally does look like Darrin’s profile, doesn’t it?What went so wrong in his life that he’s sitting around a crummy apartment drinking government-issued no-name beer? Then again, what’s wrong with Les, who’s taken to reorganizing his monopoly set just to avoid work?

    A3G “Giving away money is the most fun I have as governor, which is why I like to savour the feeling by giving out paltry $500 checks. This donation should help out needy kids in New York for the next hour or so…”

    ASM I’m getting the feeling that Kingpin’s master plan is actually all about producing cheap content for his new TLC series ‘My Big Fat Superhero Fight’.

  18. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    April 18th, 2013 at 7:47 am [Reply]

    MW: “I’m headed to Food Team. Are you headed to Food Team? Let’s head to Food Team together! Look at us, heading out—just two people heading to Food Team. Notice how much I’m saying, ‘head,’ Beth? Think nothing of that; it’s not a hint at all! Nope, ‘head’ means nothing to me, except that we’re heading to Food Team!”

  19. Brett
    April 18th, 2013 at 7:47 am [Reply]

    Finally we see the reemergence of good Les. Goatee wearing alternate evil universe Les took over good Les’ life during the 2007 time jump, spreading smugness and misery behind him. Good Les spent all his money on Lasik before moving away from Westview and waiting for his opportunity to reappear and take down evil Les.

  20. Little Blue Bicycle
    April 18th, 2013 at 7:49 am [Reply]

    A3G: The governor is panel 1 doesn’t look anything like the governor in panel 2. Anyone that two-faced absolutely has a future in politics.

    FW: Mystery man, please be the real author of Lisa’s Story. Les destroyed by plagiarism would be the first FW in years worth reading.

  21. Little Blue Bicycle
    April 18th, 2013 at 7:50 am [Reply]

    (And I forgot) MW: When Beth lies, she slaps herself.

  22. comcis fan
    April 18th, 2013 at 7:53 am [Reply]

    BB: I’m stunned this made it past the censors. “Yeah, I recognize that ‘nose’ from our tap-the-maple-tree game.”

  23. Tom D.
    April 18th, 2013 at 7:56 am [Reply]

    Anyone else notice that the hip waders the wife is wearing in Mark Trail are kind of erotic?

  24. Holly Folly
    April 18th, 2013 at 7:57 am [Reply]

    Nothing is worse then a villain that doesn’t have blinds! Just think about Goldfinger, Sauron, Darth Vader, Hannibal and Voldemort. What do all of them have in common? Their evil lairs have no blinds. The Funkyverse had better look out, becasue it’s about to get real up in there.

  25. Scott Free
    April 18th, 2013 at 7:59 am [Reply]

    Of course Shelly’s disappointed–when Mark told her the three of them would be putting on thigh-high rubber boots and getting out poles, she had something entirely different in mind. Just wait till tomorrow, which Mark told her will involve “a rubber skirt and lots of paddling.”

  26. Dennis Jimenez
    April 18th, 2013 at 7:59 am [Reply]

    MW – I’m diggin’ Tom’s hair streaks – he’s the tabby clan alright! Me-Yow!!!

    FW – What a shocker! Beef in a can!!!

    A3G – I think they left the “h” out’a Phoney Academy….

    MT – Hip-high neophrene – Whippin’ that rod – waddin’ right in – this strip has potential….

    S-M – Here come ol’ horn-top, he come groovin’ up slowly….

    Blondie – Oh come on Josh, they’re lined up for the chicken dance – how much more spring break do you think they can take???

    Adios Amigos, DJ.

  27. nescio
    April 18th, 2013 at 8:00 am [Reply]

    Blondie: I can understand why the lady in pink with the huge chest has an awkward posture with bends at the waist and knees, but not why everyone else in the office does.

  28. UncleJeff
    April 18th, 2013 at 8:02 am [Reply]

    Phantom: Happy laborers celebrate another day of gainful employment!
    They must be good people to have such a joyful attitude towards their jobs!

  29. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    April 18th, 2013 at 8:02 am [Reply]

    MW (1) –

    “I’m headed to Food Team!”

    “Oh. I’m not allowed to go there. I’m just going to Regular Food Store. Just regular groceries for me – nothing fancy, no team, no packaging, no inspections or expiration dates. Sigh!”

    And the tension builds as yet another seemingly insurmountable obstacle is placed in the path of our fated couple.

    MW (2) –

    “I’m going to Food Team!”

    “I’ve never heard of it, what kind of grocery store is that?”

    “Grocery Store?! Ha! Open your mind, woman! Food Team is a collection of like-minded achievers and strivers. We meet down at the compound, eat the Leader Beans which are provided to us, and then we hear a speach from The Leader! Well, a speech pre-recorded by The Leader, at least, but ….”

    “Enough! This is exactly the kind of structure, acceptance, and guidance that I need! I’m there!”

    “Great! This weekend is Grape Kool-Aid Saturday!”

  30. Marc
    April 18th, 2013 at 8:07 am [Reply]

    Mark Trail- The lady who’s name I can’t remember being tangled up in fishing line is the most hilarious image I’ve seen in the comics in quite a while.

    Mary Worth- “I’m on my way to Food Team to pick up some unidentifiable, barely edible, food like substances. I have to pick up some honey mush, pigeon wings, and of course salmon squares.”

  31. Downpuppy, Glub Glub
    April 18th, 2013 at 8:10 am [Reply]

    Has Charterstone always been in the veldt? Tom and Beth will need to fight through marauding baboons & charging wildebeest to make it to Food Team.

  32. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    April 18th, 2013 at 8:10 am [Reply]

    Frazz: cover blurb: “this had better be good.”

    Doons: DANG! that short-term memory loss!

    Lio: *plays Yakkity Sax*

    R&R: *makes a note of it.*

    JP: nooooo! bad pillow!

    Zits; I yawned.

    JUMBLE: no clue, but I love the concept.

  33. Not Worth It
    April 18th, 2013 at 8:10 am [Reply]

    A3G – I beg to differ with Josh. I’m pretty sure that the $500 to Poney Academy is the 2nd prize, and Luann’s “last but far from least” project will receive the evening’s Grand Prize. Isn’t that typical awards format? (“Congrats to runner-up Jim Jones – enjoy your gift certificate to Olive Garden! And finally, our big winner…”)

  34. morning glory
    April 18th, 2013 at 8:11 am [Reply]

    they took away the comments section from the paper I read on line. Glad to have found you all…..can’t do MW or FW without comments, just can’t.

  35. Everything Is Better with Monkeys
    April 18th, 2013 at 8:12 am [Reply]

    Margo can see the presidential future for the governor. Looking at panel 2, that will be a Constitutional 21 year wait, as he cannot possibly be more than 14 years old as drawn there.

  36. tb4000
    April 18th, 2013 at 8:13 am [Reply]

    JP: “Gave…..money…….AWAY?!!!!! Look, bitch, I know I adopted you, but your ass ain’t blood.”

  37. Rocky Stoneaxe
    April 18th, 2013 at 8:15 am [Reply]

    Mary Worth — The plot sickens thickens as Beth Kinley “accidentally” lets Tom catch a glimpse of the HICKEY on her neck before using her hand to cover it. The hickey Beth made herself with her mother’s vacuum cleaner.

    “If Tom Harpman thinks some other man is getting a piece of me, maybe that will make me more attractive to him!”

  38. Downpuppy, Glub Glub
    April 18th, 2013 at 8:18 am [Reply]

    @nescio (#27): Blue suit guy in Blondie has Cotton Hill syndrome. The rest are just starting a conga line.

  39. Myrtle
    April 18th, 2013 at 8:18 am [Reply]

    FW: The shoulder hair stubble is a nice touch.

  40. Cloudbuster
    April 18th, 2013 at 8:20 am [Reply]

    @jim, some guy in iowa (#2): I’m figuring if you want to start introducing someone to outdoor life, you don’t start off with primitive camping. You rent a deluxe cabin, or a room at a luxurious lakeside lodge. Then, as you say, you start of with a short hike, or some nice lakeside lounging. Maybe some relaxed spin-casting with nice cooler of beer and some comfy chairs.

    … After a day or two of that, you turn her loose in the woods with nothing but a knife and forbid her from coming back until she’s killed a deer and eaten its heart!

    // I’m not moving too fast, am I?

  41. Hibbleton
    April 18th, 2013 at 8:21 am [Reply]

    A3G: [gov] Of course, it cost the taxpayers about 10 large in transportation and security fees to get me here to hand out a $500 check, but heck, it’s all for the children.

    MT: You know, Wes, you’re a real jerk. You could have started her off with a simple roll cast.

  42. RavenHawk
    April 18th, 2013 at 8:21 am [Reply]

    ASM: It must suck as superhero, to give yourself a name (“Daredevil”). Create a persona. Then have nobody (including your “superhero” friends) call you that name (“Horn Head”, “Horn-Top”).

    Apt 3G: The Poney Academy? Add an “h”, & it becomes “The Phoney Academy”. Months from now, when the Governor is being indicted for fraud, people will be saying “why didn’t we catch that sooner?”

  43. Cloudbuster
    April 18th, 2013 at 8:22 am [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#17): government-issued no-name beer

    Now there’s an entitlement program I can get behind.

  44. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    April 18th, 2013 at 8:23 am [Reply]

    @Not Worth It (#33):

    “You wanna know what Third Prize is? Third Prize is you’re gonna be represented by Margo Magee’s publicity agency, that’s what Third Prize is!”

  45. Zla'od
    April 18th, 2013 at 8:23 am [Reply]

    A3G: The “Poney Academy”…? I keep imagining the governor playing with plush horsies and blogging about how friendship is magic.

  46. Cloudbuster
    April 18th, 2013 at 8:25 am [Reply]

    A3G: Luann’s grand prize comes with some bonus government-issued sausage!

  47. Nehemiah Scudder, connosieur of callipygy
    April 18th, 2013 at 8:26 am [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#Y302): “Linux for Pluggers” might be an excellent name for a band.

    // I’m not sure I’d care for the music tho, but de gustibus… retro-industrial-metal-core?

  48. Naked Bunny with a Whip
    April 18th, 2013 at 8:27 am [Reply]

    Oh, man. I hope there’s no money-grubbing, drama-causing ex impacting Lisa’s Story. Hollywood hates stuff like that!

  49. Florian
    April 18th, 2013 at 8:28 am [Reply]

    FW: Now that Lisa’s dead, can her ex-boyfriend from high school legally sell sex tapes of her, complete with footage of her pre-cancer tits?

  50. revenge4Aldo
    April 18th, 2013 at 8:28 am [Reply]

    MW: Food Team wanted to buy a mention on The Big Bang Theory, but they could only afford Mary Worth.

  51. Cloudbuster
    April 18th, 2013 at 8:29 am [Reply]

    A3G: Latest graduating class of the Poney Academy (NSFW! Oh, lord is it NSFW!)

  52. debussy fields
    April 18th, 2013 at 8:30 am [Reply]

    MT– Shelly’s mad because Wes is teasing her by repeating the very words she used with him the first time they had sex: “Bring it back slowly and let it straighten out, Honey. Then forward!”

  53. Horace Broon
    April 18th, 2013 at 8:31 am [Reply]

    FC: “Can we sue the local authority, mommy?”

    FW: I disagree that this is the start of Les’s suffering. I’ve been kind of enjoying watching his crippling self-doubt that he even knows how to write a movie, albeit tempered by the knowledge that this will make him even smugger once he’s done so.

    GT: I love the look of overwrought angish in the final panel, as he is suddenly forced to consider that this trial involves actual people, and hasn’t just been laid on for his amusement.

    HtH: All this time I assumed Hagar and Helga’s love life was strictly vanilla, if that. And from the look on her face, so did Honi.

    RMMD: Milton doesn’t believe Rex or June understand about doctor/patient confidentiality unless its explained to them.

  54. Joshua
    April 18th, 2013 at 8:33 am [Reply]

    GA: So Walt is talking to his great-great-grandson, and apparently neither of them know who the other one is. (“Is Slim there?” “No, this is Boog, his grandson!” “Tell him this is Walt Wallet …”) Walt is asking this young child to take a message to Slim that Slim should wear “a monkey suit.” Walt is aware that Slim is a dimwit who “can be embarrassing at times.” This is not going to go well.

  55. revenge4Aldo
    April 18th, 2013 at 8:34 am [Reply]

    MW: Food Team, brought to you by the owners of legendary department store chain “Clothing Group” and hardware store “Drill Conference”

  56. Cloudbuster
    April 18th, 2013 at 8:35 am [Reply]

    @Florian (#49): FW: I can see it now. “Lisa: The early videos!”

    Hopefully she left a tape for this: “Lisa’s video #247 — to be watched when my ex releases the sex tapes.”

    Lisa: I knew this day would come. Heh. I said come. Are these tapes hot or what? Waaaay wilder than anything you and I ever did, right? I know it looks like I’m really enjoying myself, Les, but I want you to keep in mind that it’s you I really … *snrk* … oh, sorry, I can’t keep a straight face when saying that. That sex was so hot. I mean, I hate him for getting me pregnant and leaving me, but lord, what a stallion in the sack. Anyway, you know, try not to feel too inferior or anything. Are you still seriously watching all these videos I made? That’s kinda pathetic.

  57. jvwalt
    April 18th, 2013 at 8:35 am [Reply]

    FW: Wait wait wait. Les has written a nationally published book… that’s being made into a TV movie… and now, suddenly, he fears a little PUBLICITY?

  58. Dood
    April 18th, 2013 at 8:37 am [Reply]

    Mark Trail: “Wait, we haven’t tried our assless waders!”

  59. Dood
    April 18th, 2013 at 8:41 am [Reply]

    Apartment 3-G: “I see a future president! And I will be the queen!”

  60. logicbutton
    April 18th, 2013 at 8:41 am [Reply]

    @jvwalt (#57): If that’s the case, I’ve got a publicist to recommend him.

  61. TheDiva
    April 18th, 2013 at 8:42 am [Reply]

    A3G: In panel one the governor looks like he has a very oddly placed pencil mustache.

    FW: Anyone who causes misery to Les is automatically my favorite Funky Winkerbean character.

    MT: So, their idea of showing the great glory of nature to this city mouse involved getting her to wade knee-deep into freezing water, attempt fly casting with minimal instruction, on the unlikely chance that she can catch a cold, floppy creature, gut it, and eat it while sitting on a dirty log. I can’t imagine where this is going wrong.

    MW: But what happened to the RoyaleMart or wherever whaterface’s cop fiance got shot? Were they bought out by Food Team?

    SM: Kingpin may be a criminal mastermind, but dude needs to hire better color commentators.

  62. bunivasal
    April 18th, 2013 at 8:47 am [Reply]

    Blondie:
    “So, Dagwood, now that we’ve ordered pizzas, can we really act like students on spring break, and have a wild orgy?”

    “Uh, have you seen anybody in this office? We’re grotesque knock-kneed, slump-postured trolls. Let’s just eat pizza and dick around until Dithers gets back.”

    Funky Winkerbean:
    Our mysterious beer-swiller appears to be watching television on a stolen microfiche monitor. That is interesting.

  63. logicbutton
    April 18th, 2013 at 8:48 am [Reply]

    And speaking of Apartment 3G:

    Whenever characters on Mad Men talk about money, I mentally add a 0 to the end of every number they throw out to put it in context for myself. Should I be doing that here? What does it mean if I did it automatically?

  64. Dood
    April 18th, 2013 at 8:50 am [Reply]

    Spider-Man: Why doesn’t Busy CEO Kingpin beam his Cisco-powered Spidey-Daredevel reality show across the airwaves? People like Peter Parker would watch it.

  65. Nehemiah Scudder, using lowercase ells for ones
    April 18th, 2013 at 8:50 am [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#Y346): Reminds me of the classic Dilbert strip.

  66. Artist formerly known as Ben
    April 18th, 2013 at 8:54 am [Reply]

    FW: I don’t know who the graying strawlout in the last panel is, although I have some ideas. Needless to say, the answer to his question is, “No, it is not.”

    A3G: Lu Ann’s picturing all the ponies doing equations at the blackboard.

    MT: Don’t be so hasty, Shelley. The ability to pull off wader boots like that is a gift. You really want to throw it away over one tangled line?

    Blondie: “No wet t-shirt contests, though. The custodial staff really chewed my ass out about the last time.”

    WofI: Sounds like your sockpuppet is getting a little crusty, Wiz.

    Archie: Veronica is fascinated by Duchamp’s “fountain.” Probably because she doesn’t get a lot of chances to see a urinal up close.

    JP: Red hot pillow on pillows action.

    BB: That… looks like something other than a nose. Still I believe Sarge when he says he’d know it anywhere.

    H&L: Nothing says “parental love” like feeding your baby big heaps of quick-hardening black glop.

    Phantom: Richard Branson wants to ensure a big launch for his new Virgin Heroin venture.

    Luann: Oh, I beg to differ, Toni. Of course the joke is mainly on you.

    SSmith: You’d think they’d be more shocked about the washtub bass player having a Mohawk. Then again this is Hootin’ Holler, so it could just be mange.

    Lockhorns: I always thought that pince-nez were supposed to be positioned so you could look through them, but Loretta’s mother does it her own way.

  67. Illustrator Steve
    April 18th, 2013 at 8:54 am [Reply]

    MT – (Wes): “Bring it back slowly and then let it straighten out, Honey…then FORWARD!”

    (Mark): “That’s the same thing Cherry kept telling me to do in our tent last night…heck if I even have a clue as to WHAT she was talking about!”

  68. TheDiva
    April 18th, 2013 at 8:54 am [Reply]

    9CL: And as the thrall thanks the proto-Buber for allowing his existence to continue, the courtship ritual is completed.

    C’shaft: Now it all makes sense. Lena is actively trying to poison Crankshaft, and if she has to take out the rest of her driving staff in collateral damage, well, those are acceptable losses…

    GT: DRAMATIC NOSTRILS! *musical sting*

    Luann: You see, all you negative Nellies? Nancy likes Toni now, because of….all the reasons! And the engagement is not a joke! Not one that the characters are in on, anyway.

    Pibgorn: Are you talking for the author, or to the author?

    Pluggers equate their children with hired help.

  69. Artist formerly known as Ben
    April 18th, 2013 at 8:55 am [Reply]

    Josh’s idea of what a star-crossed love affair would entail in Mary Worth is… probably accurate.

  70. Dood
    April 18th, 2013 at 8:58 am [Reply]

    In the Marvel Universe, do investors look forward to Busy CEO Kingpin’s annual letter to shareholders? “Our Crowd Control Gas, which we tested on Daredevil earlier this year (thanks, DD!), should produce millions in new government contracts. And our partnership with Cisco on remote digital video capture has drawn tremendous interest from entertainment content providers…

    “Remember our motto here at Kingpin Industries: Faster! Work Faster!”

  71. Dood
    April 18th, 2013 at 9:01 am [Reply]

    Funky Winkerbean: What’s a down-and-out Reed Richards got to do with this story?

  72. Lowell
    April 18th, 2013 at 9:02 am [Reply]

    If they’re going to re-cast the actor playing the governner in “Apartment 3-G”– they ought to make the transition between strips, not between panels. It’s a tad jarring.

  73. Jack Scat
    April 18th, 2013 at 9:02 am [Reply]

    Wait a second!.

    You all have been infected with a dour dark outlook no doubt contracted from reading too much FW. I for one am reading the last panel without sarcasm. This poor deprived, working Joe Six Pack, is truly interested in inspiring story of Les and Lisa’s struggle with. . . cancer.

  74. jim, some guy in iowa
    April 18th, 2013 at 9:02 am [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#68): mc e is one to have his cake and eat it too, isn’t he. he’s a very strange man – a talented draftsman, to be sure- but strange

  75. Artist formerly known as Ben
    April 18th, 2013 at 9:05 am [Reply]

    @Horace Broon (#53):

    RMMD: Milton doesn’t believe Rex or June understand about doctor/patient confidentiality unless its explained to them.

    Look who he’s talking to. You blame him?

  76. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    April 18th, 2013 at 9:06 am [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#68): Re: 9CL: And as the thrall thanks the proto-Buber for allowing his existence to continue, the courtship ritual is completed.

    No, not yet completed. There is still the 15 minutes during which Sven lies on his back in the mud, conscious yet unable to control his motor functions, while Fleurry services herself using his anatomy as a sex aid.

    Meanwhile, the cow dies of colic and the farmer watches the couple – excitedly at first, then with a growing sense of wrongness, and ending with him curled up into the same little ball that Sven wishes he could curl himself into.

  77. Marc
    April 18th, 2013 at 9:07 am [Reply]

    Funky- When someone is talking and I don’t really care about or aren’t listening to what they’re saying, my default response is ofen “that’s interesting”. I think that’s how Mr. Shoulder hair means it. Because there is absolutely nothing at all interesting about Lisa’s Story.

  78. Illustrator Steve
    April 18th, 2013 at 9:08 am [Reply]

    MT – (Shelly Thompson): “I’m afraid fishing just isn’t for me!”

    (Mark): “That is very considerate of you, Shelley, saying fishing isn’t just for you. It is good that you realise that fishing is, of course, a great outdoor activity for EVERYONE! ….Well, that is, ALMOST everyone!”

    (Cherry): “Mark, you promised to keep any remarks about Rusty to yourself!”

    (Mark): “Promised!? Hey, if ANYONE knows promises are made to be broken, it’s Rusty!”

    (Shelley): “Um, Wes? Mark? WHAT should I do with this gigantic Bass with the illuminated lure in it’s mouth that I just reeled in?”

  79. Irrischano
    April 18th, 2013 at 9:09 am [Reply]

    Where are Beth and Tom meeting anyways, the world’s most sad-sack arboretum?

  80. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    April 18th, 2013 at 9:09 am [Reply]

  81. Nehemiah Scudder, Living in the Past
    April 18th, 2013 at 9:09 am [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#y272):I’ve always found it interesting that the Hugo Awards were named after Hugo Gernsback, a man whose duplicitous business practices caused H. P. Lovecraft and Clark Ashton Smith (among others) to refer to him as “Hugo the Rat.”

    Heh! Yes, that is interesting. Hey, ever hear about this newspaper guy named Pulitzer?

  82. Amos Snarkadder
    April 18th, 2013 at 9:13 am [Reply]

    Cranky: Huh?

  83. S. Stout
    April 18th, 2013 at 9:14 am [Reply]

    Luann: Oh yes, the ring. How does this work? Did Toni buy her own engagement ring? Is she going to hand Brad the bill?

  84. Little Blue Bicycle
    April 18th, 2013 at 9:14 am [Reply]

    A3G: Oh gee, panel 1, Conan O’Brien is there!

  85. Amino Man
    April 18th, 2013 at 9:17 am [Reply]

    OK I just have to rant. I always start(ed) my day reading the hilarious comments on Comics Kingdom. Now they are gone, but we sure get plenty of ads to make up for it, eh? Jeez. F-U Comics Kingdom! Grrrrrr.
    And speaking of ads…they are becoming a little too targeted for my comfort. I got a friend who is balding, he gets hair growth/replacement type ads across many websites. I am dating an Asian woman, I get Asian mail-order bride ads. I’ve never been to one of those sites, how would they know? It’s as if they read our emails to get info about us..if i start getting penis enlargement ads I will REALLY start to think something untoward is going on..
    Thank you. I’m here all week.

  86. Illustrator Steve
    April 18th, 2013 at 9:19 am [Reply]

    MT – Now that Selley Thompson has mastered fly fishing by touching a mountain stream for the first time in her life, the next camping lesson on the agenda is to issue her a set of crampons, pick axe, and ice hammer to send her on a free solo climb up the vertical face of Slumber Mountain to see if she can get a cell-phone signal at the summit.

  87. Rocky Stoneaxe
    April 18th, 2013 at 9:20 am [Reply]

    @RavenHawk (#42): “The P(h)oney Academy” and “The Human Fund” are both tax shelters used by Seinfeld’s George Constanza.

  88. NonnyMus
    April 18th, 2013 at 9:21 am [Reply]

    C’mon, Josh! This is freakin’ Apartment 3-G! The Governor has a special award for Lu Ann.

    Margo will get furious because Lu Ann is getting validated by a man and she’s not. But then she’ll get drunk and forget all about it.

  89. Gringo
    April 18th, 2013 at 9:21 am [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#61): A3G: In panel one the governor looks like he has a very oddly placed pencil mustache

    What this strip needs is a Governor with a predilection for eye patches, mindless blondes and random outbursts of mega-violence.

  90. Illustrator Steve
    April 18th, 2013 at 9:22 am [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#80): Regarding the slot for the wine glass…I’m getting a saw to modify the arms on all of my lawn chairs today!

  91. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    April 18th, 2013 at 9:23 am [Reply]

    @S. Stout (#83): Re: Luann

    Toni recycled the Promise Ring that Dirk gave her back in high school into an Engagement Ring.

    It’s not as icky as it sounds – the promise ring is barely used, as Dirk was slipping his own ring finger into Toni already when he gave it to her.

  92. Artist formerly known as Ben
    April 18th, 2013 at 9:24 am [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#15): Farmer Magnum must have gotten Fleurrie’s number from someone who secretly hates him. She regards a veterinary emergency as an opportunity to strut around being all sexy/angry, nothing more. What’s to recommend?

  93. Dennis Jimenez
    April 18th, 2013 at 9:25 am [Reply]

    @RavenHawk (#42): Golly, Mr. Charm! $500!!! That kind of benevolence is going to get your name on the Phoney Library….

  94. Herr Kommissar Denny
    April 18th, 2013 at 9:27 am [Reply]

    The characters in and/or the creators of Blondie have a sadly tame idea of how students on spring break act.

    Obviously, the third panel — which featured Dagwood, naked except for nipple tassels, deep-throating a 3-foot, meat-packed, mayo-spurting sub whilst his coworkers, in various stages of undress, hoot and dance their encouragement like something from Lord of the Flies — was deemed too disturbing for print.

  95. Rocky Stoneaxe
    April 18th, 2013 at 9:30 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder, Living in the Past (#81): Hey, ever hear about this newspaper guy named Pulitzer?

    Sure. During his salad days as a reporter, Joseph Pulitzer picked up the nicknames “Joey the German” and “Joey the Jew.”

    I LOVE HISTORY!!!

  96. Amos Snarkadder
    April 18th, 2013 at 9:31 am [Reply]

    FW: He may look like a bum, but Mr. Tuftychin is a brilliant, experienced script writer. He’ll have a finished screen play on the producer’s desk in two days and cut Les out of the process and any creative control.

  97. Nehemiah Scudder, who would never write in the margin of a book
    April 18th, 2013 at 9:31 am [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#Y333): @Baka Gaijin (#332): I’m right inasmuch as I’m right, man. I’m not going to shout at people about how they should be using real computers if they really are comfortable with a tablet (I’ve already done that,) but I don’t see them as a substitute for a real computer, and the world isn’t neatly divided into “people who only use a computer for Facebook and YouTube and therefore could get along with an iPad” and “people who do serious work on their computers, and therefore need the absolute latest and greatest at all times.”

    Maybe not neatly divided, but the difference is pretty clear. How much serious work has been done on iPads? Compare that to the amount of serious work done on IBM 286 AT clones. (Not that there are too many of those out there still operating…)

    // My mother told me never to touch the TV screen. I’ve never gotten over it.

  98. Dennis Jimenez
    April 18th, 2013 at 9:32 am [Reply]

  99. Illustrator Steve
    April 18th, 2013 at 9:32 am [Reply]

    ATTEN: TRMT (The Real Mark Trail ™ )!
    James, you should ask Jack for permission to submit todays illustrations to LL Bean, Cabela’s, Bass Pro Shops, etc for the cover of their next catalogues and poster murals throughout their stores. Excellent work! Compared to recent MT adventures, the story itself is okay too. Keep this sh-t up and it will only make it harder for it to be criticized. …Nah,what fun would THAT be!?

  100. NoahSnark
    April 18th, 2013 at 9:36 am [Reply]

    Does this mean that Dagwood won’t be getting drunk and flashing his breasts at anyone with a video camera? Life can be so disappointing.

  101. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    April 18th, 2013 at 9:40 am [Reply]

    YESTERTHREAD: There was a discussion on old computers and Linux, and I missed it? Damn!

    FW: I’m going to call this now: Frankie is going to sue Les for profit-sharing, but in court Darrin and Summer will come up with Dead-Lisa-Tape (TM) # 1701b retconning describing the date-rape in lurid detail. Frankie loses and Les gets free advertisement for his movie. With any luck, Darrin tries to beat the crap out of Frankie, but breaks his hand in the process.

  102. Rocky Stoneaxe
    April 18th, 2013 at 9:50 am [Reply]

    Beetle Bailey — Sarge has cleaned up today’s punchline out of consideration for Corporal Yo and the few dozen senior citizens who still follow “Beetle Bailey” in the newspapers. Because what we’re looking at is actually Beetle’s PENIS.

    I know, it IS rather long, isn’t it?

  103. Austria
    April 18th, 2013 at 9:51 am [Reply]

    BB: ………They’re definitely in on the joke.

    FW: So this guy’s gonna claim ownership of the story to try and get money for working blinds. Only this time, Dead Lisa isn’t around to be a lawyer and defend Les’ case! He’s doomed! Dooooooooomed!!

    MG&G: Whoa, talk about getting crap past the radar.

  104. Herr Kommissar Denny
    April 18th, 2013 at 9:52 am [Reply]

    @NoahSnark (#100): Correct. Dagwood will not get drunk or flash his tits. Rather, he will be stone-cold sober when he reenacts the papa-ooma-mow-mow scene from Pink Flamingos on his carpool ride home.

  105. Brad
    April 18th, 2013 at 9:59 am [Reply]

    Let’s not assume that this mysterious character in FW is somehow sinister just yet. Surely, after a tough day at the office, I’m not the only one who likes to sit in a comfortable chair and watch the news, all while sipping on a refreshing can of Campbell’s Beef Stew, am I?

  106. The Tides of Shrug
    April 18th, 2013 at 10:00 am [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#y314):

    “I wonder if Scancarelli’s ever had the idea of pushing everyone’s birthdates forward, like they do with Marvel and DC characters.”

    When Samuel R. Delany’s literary-porn/quasi-fantasy novel THE TIDES OF LUST was first published, some of the characters therein engaged in dancing the mortise and tenon were underage. Given legal worries, when it was reprinted he simply added one hundred years to everyone’s age. Since it was some sort of quasi-fantasy/alternate worldish-maybe sort of thing, I guess that worked for him. (Not a technique GASOLINE ALLEY could easily use, though.)

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Equinox_%28novel%29

  107. Casino LF
    April 18th, 2013 at 10:02 am [Reply]

    MT: If I knew you could get your hands on sexy waders, I would have gotten into fly fishing a long time ago.

    Luann: Toni, now you can finally tell me … what’s it like being with a real man? What was being with Dirk like?

  108. Alfred E. Neuman
    April 18th, 2013 at 10:07 am [Reply]

    @comcis fan (#22) said: “BB: I’m stunned this made it past the censors. “Yeah, I recognize that ‘nose’ from our tap-the-maple-tree game.”

    Beetle actually is disguised as a rubber tree, because he is Sarge’s favorite sap.

  109. Herr Kommissar Denny
    April 18th, 2013 at 10:08 am [Reply]

    It looks like she’s decided that if the boys insist on her killing an animal this afternoon, she’s going to just go find one and strangle it.

    “I don’t what this thing is, but I killed it and it’s dead now! Can we go home now?”

    IT IS RUSTY!”

  110. Ratiocinator
    April 18th, 2013 at 10:09 am [Reply]

    JP: I love Abbey’s expression in the last panel. “You wasted your money on saving the world?! I am very, VERY disappointed in you, young lady! In fact, I’m so enraged that it’s taking all of my willpower to keep from strangling you to death right now! That is NOT how I raised you! Money is for ruling the world, not saving it!”

    Luann: Oh, but it IS a joke, Toni.

    RMMD: “Sure thing, Milton. There’s a LOT I don’t share with June already.”

    Slylock: When the history books are written following the Great Animal Uprising, they will tell the story of how this dog’s case was the straw that finall broke the camel’s back. (Figuratively, that is. The camels were in good enough health to take part in the revolution, and were in fact unmatched in their savagery and combat prowess.)

  111. Alfred E. Neuman
    April 18th, 2013 at 10:09 am [Reply]

    A3G— “You know a lot about this art stuff, Ms. Whoever-You-Are.”
    “So let’s cut right to the winners.”
    “Giving away money is the most fun I’ve had as governor!”
    “Let’s hear it for helping kids with special needs!!”

    Margo is an infallible judge of talent. Have you ever heard anything as utterly charming as these statements? No wonder he has the ladies gushing. Anyone who is intelligent and charismatic enough to think up such clever phrases is presidential material for sure.

  112. Shrug, in a Fetching Ensemble
    April 18th, 2013 at 10:09 am [Reply]

    @gleeb (#y343):

    “Yeah, NY State politics is a lot less fun since the fall of Joe Bruno.”

    I might have taken it back to Edward Hyde, Lord Cornbury. (Yeah, I know the story is probably untrue, but for the sake of snark I’m willing to go along with it.)

  113. Ratiocinator
    April 18th, 2013 at 10:10 am [Reply]

    I meant to type “finallY broke the camel’s back”, with a “Y”.

    MY KINGDOM FOR AN “EDIT” BUTTON!

  114. Notebooked
    April 18th, 2013 at 10:10 am [Reply]

    FW: Looks like Les Miserable anticipated the fact that the moment the movie got ANY sort of publicity, Sinister Tank Top Dude would take heed and bad stuff would happen. Which means it really made no sense to go ahead and consent to the book being made into a movie, right? I mean, surely he must have thought his work would garner some attenti–oh. Yeah, hold on, no.

    Dagwood: Josh, Josh, Josh. It’s not the pizzas, it’s what they do with them. Brings a whole new meaning to ‘topping’.

  115. Little Guy
    April 18th, 2013 at 10:11 am [Reply]

    @Tom D. (#23): I thought Cute Pouty Wife is the closest thing we’ll get to fanservice in Mark Trail.

  116. Freakin Hemingwad
    April 18th, 2013 at 10:18 am [Reply]

    MT: “Bring it back slowly…let it straighten out…now forward…” Sounds like great dialog for a Tijuana bible.

    FW: The guy with the beer looks more like a screenwriter than Less.

  117. Freakin Hemingwad
    April 18th, 2013 at 10:20 am [Reply]

    MW: judging by Beth’s face, “What a pleasure to have run over you” would be more appropriate.

  118. the REAL Mark Trail
    April 18th, 2013 at 10:23 am [Reply]

    @Casino LF (#107): hehe hehe hehehhh

    @Tom D. (#23): THANK YOU!

    @Illustrator Steve (#99): Thank you very much Steve. I have several stories in the works, including “THAT” story as an adventure for Rusty. However, Jack and I have begun work on the next story… one Jack came up with

  119. Shrug, Halfway Up the Next Block
    April 18th, 2013 at 10:27 am [Reply]

    @Marc (#30):

    Vic and Sade now shop at Food Team for all of their Beef Punkles and Stringeberry Jam and Limberschwartz Cheese. So far they’ve remained loyal to the regular Brick Mush rounds man for purchase of their Brick Mush requisites, but if Food Team ever offers a free wash rag with every box, Sade might waver.

  120. mvg
    April 18th, 2013 at 10:30 am [Reply]

    Calvin’s Cardboard Box (15): “9CL – If you are on your first date with someone, at the conversation at any point turns to you sincerely thanking them for not killing you during the date, you should consider this yet another Flaming Red Flag regarding the relationship.”

    No no no, in the Burberverse, a man thanking his overwoman for not killing him is a daily ritual of subservience and “affection.”

    MT: OK, so fishing’s not for you, honey. But say, as long as you have the hip-waders on…

    jvwalt (57: “FW: Wait wait wait. Les has written a nationally published book… that’s being made into a TV movie… and now, suddenly, he fears a little PUBLICITY?”

    Stung by receiving national publicity, Les realizes belatedly he should’ve hired the Margo Magee Agency after all.

    Herr Kommissar Denny (94): “Obviously, the third panel — which featured Dagwood, naked except for nipple tassels, deep-throating a 3-foot, meat-packed, mayo-spurting sub whilst his coworkers, in various stages of undress, hoot and dance their encouragement like something from Lord of the Flies — was deemed too disturbing for print.”

    Actually, that image is too disturbing for prose, too…

  121. Jim in Wisc.
    April 18th, 2013 at 10:30 am [Reply]

    Sex Organ: “Yes, Rex, I expect you to respect federal privacy laws.”

    Mark Trail Mix: I foresee a divorce in Wes’s future.

    Flunky Cancerstroke: Oh boy. Here comes the “date rape” retcon. More gloom, depression and misery.

    Mary Worthless: In panel 2, Tom is letting his mask of evil slip into view.

  122. Old Joke is Old, but Old Shrug is Old Took, So it Works Out
    April 18th, 2013 at 10:33 am [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#40):

    “… After a day or two of that, you turn her loose in the woods with nothing but a knife and forbid her from coming back until she’s killed a deer and eaten its heart!”

    No, no, you turn her loose in the Arctic tundra and tell her not to return until she has killed a polar bear and made love to an Inuit! Then, later, when she returns all bruised and bleeding and says “O.K., half there, now where’s do I find an Inuit to kill…”

    /// Veal, waitress, wonderful audience. I’ll be here all week, or maybe longer if the Inuit Defense League finds me.

  123. TheDiva
    April 18th, 2013 at 10:34 am [Reply]

    @S. Stout (#83): The standard etiquette is that the engagement ring is a gift from the groom to the bride (with the understanding that if the engagement is broken, the ring will be returned), regardless of whether it was purchased before the proposal or after the fact. Toni and Brad were depicted at the jewelry store together last Sunday, so I assume Toni picked out the ring that she liked and Brad paid for it (which is what Mr. Diva and I did).

    I’m more interested in the gaudy size of the ring Toni’s flashing, which indicates she either a) forced Brad to buy a diamond way out of his pay grade or b) resigned herself to getting a thirty dollar piece of costume jewelry.

  124. Little Guy
    April 18th, 2013 at 10:38 am [Reply]

    @Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol (#101), FW: In a Judge Parker crossover, Frankie will get Sam Driver as his lawyer. Both Frankie and Les lose, as Sam gets the rights to Lisa’s story, as well as the charity. All proceeds will be to build a cancer-free zone for his family.

  125. Ratiocinator
    April 18th, 2013 at 10:38 am [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#6): That’s…that’s about the face I think I would make if I saw somebody eating a stick of butter, I think.

    @Bill (#9): I conclude from this that Tom is a demon who is 50% more demonic than is normal for demons.

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#15): Yeah, you’re right. I mean, let’s give Fleurrie the benefit fo the doubt for a minute and assume that moving the cow using that front loader would be really dangerous to the cow. All right then, well, if the cow needs to be moved, Sven can do that; he literally carried another full-grown cow over to Juliette’s house earlier in the story.

    But instead, you two crazy (and I mean that, both of you are mentally ill in different ways) kids are going to play tonsil ping pong while the cow isn’t getting any better. Yes, this is what the farmer is paying you for.

    @Tom D. (#23): Now that you mention it….

    @Scott Free (#25): *snrk!*

  126. Joe, the Upper-Evergreen Guy
    April 18th, 2013 at 10:42 am [Reply]

    FW: ……Who the fuck is THAT??

    Luann: Oh, BULLSHIT. I want some fur to fly!

    MT: …..ooooooo, pissed-off redhead!!

    Love is…: Underground Bathhouse random hookup!

  127. BigTed
    April 18th, 2013 at 10:43 am [Reply]

    Dickish Mr. Dithers apparently supplies his workers with an enormous lunch room, but just one tiny little table. No wonder Dagwood ends up gambling with heartburn and food poisoning at that diner every day.

  128. Will
    April 18th, 2013 at 10:50 am [Reply]

    @Amino Man (#85): I load up a wad of bookmarks and the first several from Comics Kingdom (A3G, Blondie, Beetle, and Crankshaft) keep failing to load from the Seattle PI. Today I wasn’t able to get A3G or CS to load until I went to The Oregonian. Is this a syndicate problem, and I’m just doomed, or does it depend on the hosting site?

  129. Spunde
    April 18th, 2013 at 10:51 am [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#86):

    Exactly. There’s no better way to learn how to fly fish when you don’t want to than to wade into the middle of a swiftly running river, amidst the boulders and deadfall, with your husband the expert fly fisherman shouting instructions to you from several yards away, while his silent even experter fly fisherman friend effortlessly and silently makes perfect cast after perfect cast just beyond.

  130. Shrug (redirected from Shrug, disambiguation)
    April 18th, 2013 at 10:52 am [Reply]

    @RavenHawk (#42):

    Maybe everyone is avoiding using his official name out of deeprespect for the first Daredevil, a super hero who didn’t waste valuable time hanging around with Newspaper Spider-Man, but instead whomped the stuffings out of Hitler and a Godzilla-sized Fu-Manchu knockoff, while armed with nothing but a boomerang:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daredevil_Comics

  131. Dr. P and the Women
    April 18th, 2013 at 10:53 am [Reply]

    ASM: I can just picture the pitch meeting for this. “We’ll have Spider-man and Daredevil fight each other, that should be exciting!” “Too exciting for our strip, how can we tone the entertainment down a few notches?” “Well, I guess we could show the fight via a TV being watched by a fat guy and his nerd sidekick as they describe the action we only barely bother to illustrate, how’s that?” “Perfect!”

  132. SurrealKangaroo
    April 18th, 2013 at 10:54 am [Reply]

    Oh Josh, how can you be that naive? Pizzas are only the beginning…

  133. Amino Man
    April 18th, 2013 at 10:58 am [Reply]

    @Will (#128) I am on the PI website also, I can view any of the cartoons except A3G. (it hasn’t worked for me since the changeover) But it just isn’t the same without the comments :( I particularly miss the Mark Trail 5+ pages of comments each day.

  134. Dennis Jimenez
    April 18th, 2013 at 10:58 am [Reply]

    @BigTed (#127): Ah, I don’t feel to bad for ol’ Dithers – I get the feeling he’s not home – he’s off making a sandwich with Blondie and Tootsie….

  135. Illustrator Steve
    April 18th, 2013 at 11:02 am [Reply]

    @the REAL Mark Trail (#118): Everything was going so well until that last part. The part that sent that cold shiver up my spine when you said…”the next story…ONE JACK CAME UP WITH.”

    //bring it on! The smarking awaits! (All in good fun of course. Glad to see you have a good sense of humor.)

  136. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    April 18th, 2013 at 11:09 am [Reply]

    @Will (#128): 2 days in a row that A3G didn’t load at the SeattlePI site. No problems with Crankshaft, though.

  137. Inkwell
    April 18th, 2013 at 11:10 am [Reply]

    MT: Shelley will revert to a nature-loving fishing fanatic once someone tells her the facial hair rule.

  138. commodorejohn
    April 18th, 2013 at 11:11 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder, who would never write in the margin of a book (#97): (Not that there are too many of those out there still operating…)

    You’d be surprised. Computers of the ’80s were built like tanks. A lot of times you hardly even have to clean them to get them running. (The real problem component is the CMOS battery, which is usually dead and needs replacing, and in worse cases may have burst and leaked battery acid onto the motherboard – but even that isn’t necessarily a death warrant.)

    But again, there’s a huge swath of personal-computer history in between the 286es and modern i7 monsters, and a good deal of it is powerful enough to be useful to someone, if not everyone…

  139. Rocky Stoneaxe
    April 18th, 2013 at 11:18 am [Reply]

    @Shrug, Halfway Up the Next Block (#119): Vic and Sade Gook are living in comfortable retirement these days. Their adopted son Rush changed his last name to “Limbaugh” and became a right wing ideologue.

  140. bats :[
    April 18th, 2013 at 11:19 am [Reply]

    Tip for mash-up artists (or at least something I just found out): if you want a strip from CK — it’s likely to have a “Buy a Print” banner underneath the strip (‘cuz everyone wants a poop-centered laff on their wallws). Click on it, and you should be rewarded with an enlarged panel — all the better to mash!
    Yeah, you probably already knew that.

    But, hey, just so my comment here isn’t completely wasted…

  141. Hart of Johnny
    April 18th, 2013 at 11:20 am [Reply]

    I like how the mayor is acting like he’s breaking the fourth wall while everyone is cowering behind him. Is he imagining he’s broadcasting this live on TV? Is he holding everyone hostage for some sick game, where the losers are killed (this would explain Margo’s infatuation and Lu Ann’s crestfallen look)?

    Who cares? He’s got leadership skills, I tell ya!

  142. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    April 18th, 2013 at 11:25 am [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#138): A lot of ham radio guys still use older computers. They old ones don’t spew radio frequency interference like the new ones do. I’ve got a couple of oldsters in my ham shack, handling the downloading of satellite pictures and weather data via FreeDOS apps.

  143. Baka Gaijin
    April 18th, 2013 at 11:27 am [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#17) on Spiderman: COTW contender!

    @TheDiva (#68) on Gil Thorp: Great band name and COTW contender!

    @Amino Man (#85): It’s that damned Google. It dips its beak in everything.

  144. seismic-2
    April 18th, 2013 at 11:28 am [Reply]

    FW: I so much hope that Skunkhead Stubblechinhairyshouldersbeerbum McWifebeaters will do to the cable movie adaptation of Lisa’s Story exactly what should be done to the cable movie adaptation of Lisa’s Story.

    MT: Old Hardy lives to be caught another day!

    I was afraid that dying might have put a crimp in Broadway legend Jerry Orbach’s acting career, but I’m glad to see that he’s still getting parts, even if it is this lousy gig as the Governor today in A3G.

    @TheDiva (#68): 9CL: And as the thrall thanks the proto-Buber for allowing his existence to continue, the courtship ritual is completed.

    Next, the mating act itself. That one ain’t over until the hands stop twitching, the proto-Burber walks away smirking, and the thrall is reduced to a quivering puddle of ectoplasm.

    @Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol (#101): YESTERTHREAD: There was a discussion on old computers and Linux, and I missed it?

    Yes, in the Ubuntu tongue.

  145. Nehemiah Scudder, who would never write in the margin of a book
    April 18th, 2013 at 11:29 am [Reply]

    @Shrug, Halfway Up the Next Block (#119): Does Food Team carry Federated Lard?

    // I’m a sucker for a Vic and Sade reference!

  146. Rocky Stoneaxe
    April 18th, 2013 at 11:30 am [Reply]

    @Ratiocinator (#125): @Rocky Stoneaxe (#6): That’s…that’s about the face I think I would make if I saw somebody eating a stick of butter, I think.

    Or a stick of Durkee’s Oleomargarine*. What did you think I meant by “O” face, anyway?

    *As featured on episodes of “Vic and Sade”!

  147. Baka Gaijin
    April 18th, 2013 at 11:33 am [Reply]

    @Ratiocinator (#113): You have a kingdom? Does it have a Wizard and a Bung?

    @Shrug, Halfway Up the Next Block (#119): Oh God, I’d completely forgotten about the couple that makes Mary Worth and Dr. Jeff seem exciting. Thanks for bringing it back. Not. (j/k)

    @commodorejohn (#138): It’s people like you who are putting HP’s and Dell’s shareholders in the poorhouse with this, “I’m not buying a new computer more than once a decade” crap.

  148. Amos Snarkadder
    April 18th, 2013 at 11:33 am [Reply]

    @ bats :[ ,#140
    Thanks! I didn’t know that.
    // You’ve noticed my sad low-res situation.

  149. Nehemiah Scudder
    April 18th, 2013 at 11:34 am [Reply]

    Rex: What COULD Rex tell Mrs. Milton? “His blood pressure is a bit high, and we’ll do some tests.”

    Or, “I am forbidden to say!”

    Which would worry her more?

  150. Marc
    April 18th, 2013 at 11:38 am [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#123): Brad dropped a quarter into the vending machine and out popped that ring. It is still probably is out of his pay grade though.

  151. commodorejohn
    April 18th, 2013 at 11:38 am [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#147): Bah! It’s people like you with your “everybody who thinks they don’t need a monster Crysis 3 rig should just buy an iPad” crap that’s doing that!

  152. Government Cheese
    April 18th, 2013 at 11:42 am [Reply]

    MW: Heh heh hehe, Beth, (as Tom is covered by a sinister shadow)…the Food Team. Join me for savings! Heh heh hoo hoo hahahaha (COUGH ACK COUGH).

    Luann: I mistrusted you, for no reason. Now I trust you, for no reason as well. Don’t ask me to make any sense, Toni, I just work here.

  153. Nehemiah Scudder
    April 18th, 2013 at 11:43 am [Reply]

    BG&SS: Singing cowboys not having backup bands? Just how witless is John Rose? Ever hear of the “Sons of the Pioneers”? I don’t recall Gene Autry or Roy Rogers ever singing without a band.

    Phantom: Do you really land four engine jets on dirt airstrips in the jungle? To smuggle drugs?

  154. Herr Kommissar Denny
    April 18th, 2013 at 11:44 am [Reply]

    @mvg (#120): That’s me alright … Too disturbing for print, too perverse for prose.

    GT: Haven’t been following Gil Thorp lately. Is the this years “spring” “baseball” story really about a lawsuit stemming from an incident that occurred in the winter winter?

    What’s next? Is Clambake going to show up in Judge Parker to give Alan screenwriting tips? “Back in the old days they often made two version of popular movies — one with a white cast for white audiences, and the other with a black cast for black audiences. Why, I worked on the negro versions of Birth of a Nation, Gone with the Wind, and Triumph of the Will. They didn’t do too well at the box office at the time, but they did gain a substantial cult following in the 1960s Black Power scene…”

  155. bats :[
    April 18th, 2013 at 11:44 am [Reply]

    @Amos Snarkadder (#148): No, I’ve noticed my inability to zoom a panel and then get it to save, other than punching a bunch of keys that I *think* you’re supposed to punch, in an agitated, random order in the hopes that one sequence will work.
    Yes, “Luddite” doesn’t only apply to the fans of the purple cat in Arlo & Janice.

  156. bats :[
    April 18th, 2013 at 11:47 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#153): yup. And it ain’t one plain ol’ Rider in the Sky (of which I believe I have all the albums, including the Christmas one).

  157. Herr Kommissar Denny
    April 18th, 2013 at 11:47 am [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#140): See, I would have gone with the caption “Pain is just God’s way of saying you suck.”

  158. Marc
    April 18th, 2013 at 11:48 am [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#144): That reminds me of a few years back when Jerry Orbach died and my great grandfather was still alive. It was a probably a couple months maybe after Orbach died and for some reason we were talking about it. My great grandpa looked up from his chair totally shocked and goes “What?!?! But I just saw him on tv last night!” Apparently in his nearly 90 years on the planet he never learned that almost all tv is not done live.

  159. Droopy Says
    April 18th, 2013 at 11:50 am [Reply]

    Mark Trail: I’ll assume that flycasting is tougher than it looks, but even so, there must be a way to teach it to people who have never done it before. If only Mark Trail had ever had the chance to instruct a novice fisher! If only he knew someone who was eager to learn how to fish, and had the patience to accompany him to Lake LoFo for the lessons!

    Creepy Les: So that’s Summer’s dad with the generic beer? Okay. Is it some kind of secret that Creepy Les isn’t Summer’s biological father? If it is, it means Creepy Les wrote the DFL Story with himself as the biological father. That would probably leave him to face legal charges about having sex with a student, and possibly with a minor. Even if the statute of limitations has expired on it all, he’s going to look bad.

    The only way this works is if Summer doesn’t know (What, no FDL tape about it? Or a retcon?). Beer Drinker tries to blackmail Louse. Summer discovers the truth anyway and is hurt because Les hid the facts. Or she already knew and is hurt because she didn’t know her biological father is scum. Misery ensues, followed by reconciliation. Creepy writes “Summer’s Story” and cashes in.

  160. Freakin Hemingwad
    April 18th, 2013 at 11:55 am [Reply]

    I think the beer guy in FW is related to Comics John somehow – the skunk-head is a dead giveaway.

  161. Rocky Stoneaxe
    April 18th, 2013 at 11:55 am [Reply]

    Heathcliff for Dummies

    Heathcliff’s keen eyesight has spotted what he thinks is a HOT DOG sticking out of a knot hole in the hollow tree in the background. But the little boy (who also has keen eyesight) observed Beetle Bailey unzipping his pants earlier and crawling into the tree.

  162. Bobchillingworth
    April 18th, 2013 at 11:55 am [Reply]

    If you look closely, you’ll see that the Mystery Slob in FW is in fact drinking “Beet”. Given their Reed Richards hair, I can only conclude that this is post-election Mitt Romney, now bereft of a job, sarcastically commenting on the local news with heavy-lidded ennui.

  163. Packy
    April 18th, 2013 at 11:56 am [Reply]

    Blondie: Pfft. Pizzas are what we get when the boss is IN. Sushi is what we get when the boss is OUT.

  164. Alfred E. Neuman
    April 18th, 2013 at 11:57 am [Reply]

    MT— I love Shelley’s philosophy of living: “If at first you don’t succeed, to hell with it!” That’s almost as profound as, “What, me worry?” If Shelley keeps on like this, she may supplant Luann’s ravenously incestuous bisexual harridan, Bernice, as my favorite comics character.

  165. terrapin
    April 18th, 2013 at 11:57 am [Reply]

    MT: “Mark! Would this be a bad time to tell her that all that splashing is scaring the fish away?”

    BB: Filth!

    A3G: 500 dollars? No wonder taxes are so high!

  166. LUJBEM FEJF
    April 18th, 2013 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#1): Tracy! You wanna get the Jumbler? Here’s how you get him. He pulls a Sudoku, you pull a Kenken. He sends one of yours to the bookstore, you send one of his to Amazon! That’s the Jumble way, and that’s how you get the Jumbler! As for Crypto, I’ll eat that mutt for dinner!

  167. Herr Kommissar Denny
    April 18th, 2013 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#159): My guess is that Bio-Dad is going to sue Adopto-Dad, claiming defamation, libel, slander, and the print and broadcast rights to the parts of Lisa’s story in Lisa’s Story where Bio-Dad date-rapes Lisa and impregnates her — or something equally offensive to the basic rules of narrative and reality.

    Actually, what I really think is going to happen is that Rape-Dad will realize he wants to be a part of Summer’s life and everyone will agonize over the issue for months and months — everyone except Summer, that is, because no one will bother to ask her how she feels about it, and it will eventually blow up into a big crazy stupid scene filled with tears and recriminations and maybe blood and guts. DRAMA!

  168. commodorejohn
    April 18th, 2013 at 12:09 pm [Reply]

    @Herr Kommissar Denny (#167): No, no. What’s really going to happen is that somehow Retcon-Date-Rapey-Dad will turn out to be the one who gave Dead Lisa cancer.

  169. jim, some guy in iowa
    April 18th, 2013 at 12:12 pm [Reply]

    @Herr Kommissar Denny (#167): in other words, the reader will be left wishing the comic book guy was still quoting the lone ranger

  170. Hibbleton
    April 18th, 2013 at 12:14 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#151):
    Ipads are great. My wife bought me one when I was stuck in the hospital. It kept me connected to the outside world including this website (one of the few things I looked forward to everyday).

  171. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    April 18th, 2013 at 12:17 pm [Reply]

    @mvg (#120): Re: 9CL in the Burberverse, a man thanking his overwoman for not killing him is a daily ritual of subservience and “affection.”

    “Good night Sven. Sleep well. I’ll probably kill you in the morning.”

  172. the REAL Mark Trail
    April 18th, 2013 at 12:19 pm [Reply]

    @Inkwell (#137): I’m working on changing the “facial hair rule”… a close personal friend of mine is a biker… I mean hardcore biker. He was in the military in the 80′s and stationed in Alaska… he read Mark Trail because he knew it was from his hometown (here in Georgia). It is my plan to put him in a strip in the future, BUT he has facial hair! Although everyone I know wants to be a bad guy in MT… you couldn’t ask for a nicer guy than my biker friend. So facial hair rule be damned, I intend to put my facial hair clad biker friend in the strip somedAY… as a GOOD guy!

    @Droopy Says (#159): Bwahahahaha

    @Alfred E. Neuman (#164): If you only knew the REAL Shelley… looking at the paper yesterday, she said to me; “James, why in the hell am I trying to use my cell-phone while we’re out camping!?”, I responded with, “maybe you’re using th weather channel app to get the forecast?”… she replied; ” I could just loojk at the damned sky!”

  173. Herr Kommissar Denny
    April 18th, 2013 at 12:19 pm [Reply]

    @Bobchillingworth (#162):

    …sarcastically commenting on the local news with heavy-lidded ennui.

    I would totally read a strip about Mitt Romney drawn in the style of Marvin, but only if he’s constantly crapping his pants.

    @commodorejohn (#168): How could I not see the possibility of a cankerous contagious cancer cock!?! But does this mean that Summer is actually a mutant made up entirely of cancer cells who, having evolved in Westview, requires psychic anguish, pain, and misery to survive and thrive? Probably! Someone call David Cronenberg — we have the plot for Lisa’s Story II: The Summer of Our Discontent!

  174. Baka Gaijin
    April 18th, 2013 at 12:20 pm [Reply]

  175. Dood
    April 18th, 2013 at 12:20 pm [Reply]

    @LUJBEM FEJF (#166): He pulls an EFKIN, you pull a NUG. It’s the GACOCHI way.

  176. Gringo
    April 18th, 2013 at 12:20 pm [Reply]

    Flunky: When Les was offered the job of “screenwriter,” he thought they said “screenrighter,” as in someone who was being brought in to correct everything that’s wrong with Hollywood and the silver screen.

    And now that he’s taken the job, he’s been overcome by “righter’s block.” He has so many ideas on how to fix Hollywood, he’s paralyzed by his own genius.

  177. Lumaca Morente
    April 18th, 2013 at 12:23 pm [Reply]

    MW: ‘Likewise’ – ??? Does anyone really say this? What next: ‘Soitenly!’

  178. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    April 18th, 2013 at 12:24 pm [Reply]

    @Herr Kommissar Denny (#167): You mean Darrin, not Summer (I hope)… IIRC, Frankie is Darrin’s real dad, and Frankie nearly caused Summer’s miscarriage.

  179. Government Cheese
    April 18th, 2013 at 12:25 pm [Reply]

    Luann: It’s not an April Fool’s joke! See! Look at this giant wart on my finger!

  180. Gringo
    April 18th, 2013 at 12:26 pm [Reply]

    @Alfred E. Neuman (#164): “If at first you don’t succeed, to hell with it!”

    That is so Tao of Homer: “Remember, the first step toward failing is trying.”

  181. RavenHawk
    April 18th, 2013 at 12:29 pm [Reply]

    @Dennis Jimenez (#93):Barely enough for the tux rental, & tipping the valet.

  182. Dood
    April 18th, 2013 at 12:29 pm [Reply]

    Mary Worth: “Yep, I’m headed to Food Team because this plant here keeps saying, ‘Feed me now!’”

  183. Chyron HR
    April 18th, 2013 at 12:30 pm [Reply]

    @Herr Kommissar Denny (#167): Frankie (beer man) is actually Durwood’s father. Summer (as far as we know) was the product of one of the smirking Mooresperm that managed to mope its way into Saint Lisa’s vestebule. (I grant the possibility that Tom Batiuk has completely forgotten this fact.)

    Other interpretations of today’s strip that are more interesting (than whatever Batiuk is going to write):

    - Lisa’s cancer really was in remission and Les poisoned her as a Munchausen by Proxy thing. Frankie will solve the murder, just like Les solved John Darling’s murder (or DID he?)
    - All of Act I and Act II was Lisa’s Story in comic format, and Act III is set in the “real” world where Les just stole a the story of a high school classmate and embellished it with him as her husband instead of Frankie.
    - Les made up Lisa’s Story out of whole cloth, but now the fiction is bleeding over into reality, like in a Satoshi Kon movie, and the evilbullyjock he invented is going to beat the shit out of him.

  184. Nehemiah Scudder
    April 18th, 2013 at 12:31 pm [Reply]

    @Hibbleton (#170): Ipads are great.

    No doubt. And I’m glad it worked for you. But wouldn’t a netbook have been just as good?

    // Full disclosure: I’m typing this on a 4 YO pink Acer netbook (with Hello Kitty stickers — it’s a long story), with two USB extender ports daisy-chained together, connected to a full sized keyboard, an external monitor, two printers, speaker system, two external hard drives, dvd drive, Wacom tablet, wireless mouse. I use the built-in microphone and camera when I need to.

    It is, in fact, my main machine right now. When I travel, I just unplug the USB cables, and I have a simple netbook, not much larger than an iPad. And much more useful, I think.

  185. Shrug, Not in the Bandar Tongue
    April 18th, 2013 at 12:31 pm [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#177):

    “I’m going to Monkey Ward’s to buy some spastic ploons!”

    “What a co-inky-dink! Me likewise! Can I come with?”

    “Soitenly!”

  186. Government Cheese
    April 18th, 2013 at 12:33 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#184): I finally received my North Korean Ipad clone, but I’m still trying to figure out how to wind it up.

  187. Lumaca Morente
    April 18th, 2013 at 12:33 pm [Reply]

    @Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol (#178): Summer had a miscarriage? I missed that one.

  188. Ratiocinator
    April 18th, 2013 at 12:33 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#146):

    What did you think I meant by “O” face, anyway?

    I actually didn’t know at first, having still not seen Office Space even though it’s been like 14 years since it came out.

    @Baka Gaijin (#147):

    You have a kingdom? Does it have a Wizard and a Bung?

    If that will increase the chances of me getting an edit button in exchange for it, I’ll make sure those things will be part of it.

  189. Dood
    April 18th, 2013 at 12:34 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug, Not in the Bandar Tongue (#185): “Food Team?! Who are they playin’?”

  190. Freakin Hemingwad
    April 18th, 2013 at 12:34 pm [Reply]

    @Government Cheese (#179): Too late for Gardisil.

  191. commodorejohn
    April 18th, 2013 at 12:34 pm [Reply]

    @Hibbleton (#170): Glad it served you well, sir. Don’t mind us cranks cranking, just carry on.

    (Though I concur with @Nehemiah Scudder (#184), myself.)

  192. Herr Kommissar Denny
    April 18th, 2013 at 12:36 pm [Reply]

    @Gringo (#176): Movie Idea CLXI:

    Strainers on a Brain — When two novelists experiencing writer’s block as they to adapt their works to film meet on an Acapulco cruise-ship, they decide to “crisscross” and write each other’s scripts. Unbeknownst to either man, a rural marijuana kingpin screwed over on a business deal and the restless spirit of one writer’s dead wife also decide to “crisscross” but with more nefarious intent…

    @Chyron HR (#183): Dammit! I need a scorecard to keep up with the downs and downs of Funky Winkerbean, ’cause I sure as hell ain’t gonna read it! Still, Summer could be the gestated product of a broken off piece of cancercock, the implantation of which was coincident with Mooresperm.

  193. Freakin Hemingwad
    April 18th, 2013 at 12:38 pm [Reply]

    @Chyron HR (#183): Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.

  194. Nehemiah Scudder, Canon of the Belgian Congo
    April 18th, 2013 at 12:39 pm [Reply]

    @the REAL Mark Trail (#172): Refulgent! If the blessings of an Internet minister are of any use to you, you have them!

  195. Stev0
    April 18th, 2013 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

    “Look! Spider-Man’s Running Away!” – Awww, they remembered the catchphrase from his short-lived radio show that tried to compete with Superman’s “Look! Up in the Sky!”

  196. Dood
    April 18th, 2013 at 12:46 pm [Reply]

    Mark Trail: “Wade for me, darling!”

  197. Illustrator Steve
    April 18th, 2013 at 12:50 pm [Reply]

    @the REAL Mark Trail (#172): Maybe if you also add sideburns to Mark, a goatee for Rusty, a white fu manchu beard for Doc and a studded black leather jacket for Cherry, along with some cool sunglasses for Andy and Sassy it would make Mark hang the Fist-O-Justice ™ over his fireplace mantle realizing facial hair is not a threat. That should pave the way for Mark to welcome the new biker caracter with open arms, well…maybe that’s a bit over the top. Maybe it will allow Mark to at least shake the guys hand.

  198. Frank Lee Meidere
    April 18th, 2013 at 12:54 pm [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#Y346): @commodorejohn (#Y330):

    Steam powered? Floppy disks? What luxury! My first computer (circa 1963) was muscle-powered. No word of a lie. Loved it. Here’s a picture and write-up I found online. And here it is in full glorious colour.

  199. littlestevie
    April 18th, 2013 at 12:54 pm [Reply]

    Jumble: Man, oh man would I love to see Mommy beat the crap out of Lucy. Not that Dolly is any better, and doesn’t deserve it as well, but it would be sure fun. And while Mommy is at it, maybe she could grind Peppermint Patty and Marcie into the turf as well.

  200. ralph
    April 18th, 2013 at 12:57 pm [Reply]

    FW: I suppose Les is upset about publicity because he sees himself having to send back that fat check when he is unable to produce anything for a screenplay, and of course he believes this failure will be national news. The smart money would seem to be on the scruffy guy being the guy who did Lisa. And the interesting thing being that he sees a chance to cash in. “Yeah, me and Lis’, we were great together, then this frickin’ dweeb came along and broke us up. I been heartbroken ever since, man. He lost me my boy, and just ‘tween us, that ain’t his girl.”

    9CL: Brooke draws a pretty good cow. I wish he was spending more time on that part of the story, and a lot less on S and F. It was established a long time ago that S and F are an item, that S is stupid, and that F is an asshole. Frankly, the cows are a lot more interesting.

  201. Artist formerly known as Ben
    April 18th, 2013 at 12:59 pm [Reply]

    @Herr Kommissar Denny (#167): Isn’t it Darin, though, who was conceived through date rape? I thought that Summer came after Les and Lisa got married. That’s not a guarantee of anything, but while she’s more athletic than Les, she is nearly as annoying.

    //Of course I’m working off the premise that Batiuk remembers and cares about his own continuity, which may not be a safe assumption.

  202. Artist formerly known as Ben
    April 18th, 2013 at 1:00 pm [Reply]

    @Chyron HR (#183): Ah, you got there before me.

  203. bats :[
    April 18th, 2013 at 1:02 pm [Reply]

    @Herr Kommissar Denny (#157): yes, but for a two-finger typist, HAHAHAHHA…is much easier! ;)

  204. Baka Gaijin
    April 18th, 2013 at 1:02 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#184): You know, I had a netbook. Great concept, poor implementation. It was too slow and the keyboard was far too small. When I’m not traveling for business, the iPad does everything I need: e-mail, web browsing, playing videos and music. The iPad guarantees a relaxing no-work weekend.

    @Freakin Hemingwad (#190): Ha ha ha, ew.

    @commodorejohn (#138): Does the number “5150″ hold any significance to you?

  205. Spokesperson for the Great Outdoors
    April 18th, 2013 at 1:04 pm [Reply]

    Agreed, Shelly, that fishing maybe just isn’t for you. On the bright side, you really do rock those thigh boots. Have you ever been to Spencer Farms?

  206. Brad
    April 18th, 2013 at 1:05 pm [Reply]

    A3G: The second most fun I’ve had as governor is teaming with my twin brother to send unsespecting women on emotional roller coasters!! Wait, what? I said we’re wearing tuxedos for this prank! TUXEDOS!!

  207. Herr Kommissar Denny
    April 18th, 2013 at 1:05 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#201): Yes, and I have since been corrected, but I think my premise re: Summer being a cancerous mutant is still sound.

  208. Illustrator Steve
    April 18th, 2013 at 1:05 pm [Reply]

    @the REAL Mark Trail (#172): Hey, James, your biker friend who is a nice guy brought back a memory I want to share about how appearances can be deceiving… Around twenty or so years ago whie attending a huge antique car swap meet in Carlisle Pennsylvania fair grounds I was standing in a long line to use the men’s room. While standing there dressed somewhat conservatively with a Minolta 35 mm SLR camera hanging around my neck, I noticed this big biker dude standing nearby staring straight at me. He looked at me for what seemed a long time. The guy had a long straggly beard and was dressed in his biker leathers with a black T-shirt that had the words “FUCK YOU!” printed on it in huge white letters. …Well, this guy starts to approach me in the line. I start thinking what the fu__! He comes right up to me and says…”Hi, I just bought myself that same exact type of camera and was wondering if I could ask you a question about it.”
    That shows a perfect example of how we, or at least I, jumped to conclusions about things like unkept facial hair and a persons attire.

    //Maybe you could use that scenario for Mark…IT WILL MAKE A GOOD STORY!

  209. gleeb
    April 18th, 2013 at 1:06 pm [Reply]

    @Dood (#70): “Faster! Work faster!” was also the headline of the cover story on the Kingpin in Forbes.

  210. Hirsute Shrug
    April 18th, 2013 at 1:09 pm [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#208):

    Reminds me of the time Sally Forth, standing in line, met the hairy scary biker guy Meathook — who turned out to be quite nice.

    Can’t find a link online, but as a large hairy guy myself (though not at Meathook’s level), I thought it was sweet.

  211. jim, some guy in iowa
    April 18th, 2013 at 1:09 pm [Reply]

    @Spokesperson for the Great Outdoors (#205): the mind boggles – in kind of a good way, actually

  212. Baka Gaijin
    April 18th, 2013 at 1:10 pm [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#208): That was you? What a small world. Both the camera and shirt are history.

    // I don’t know. I just said that to get myself out of that technology digression.

  213. Droopy Says
    April 18th, 2013 at 1:12 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#198): A Digicomp II? I had one of those. It was really neat to program it with those bits of drinking straw, then play Nim or Elevator Operator. Not to mention learning about binary years before anyone else in school heard of it.

  214. Dood
    April 18th, 2013 at 1:16 pm [Reply]

    @gleeb (#209): “Faster! Work Faster” was also the title of Harvard Business School’s case study of Kingpin Industries.

  215. Luzardo
    April 18th, 2013 at 1:16 pm [Reply]

    Funky Winkerbean

    After falling hard times Mitt Romney has finally a brilliant idea to get back national notoriety: A crusade against marriage with the dead! And now he knows who will a sure target to gain the hate of Americans…

  216. Nehemiah Scudder, Canon of the Belgian Congo
    April 18th, 2013 at 1:17 pm [Reply]

    @Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol (#142): The Commodore is right, it all depends on what you are doing. I once revised an entire Navy training curriculum using a 16Mhz 386SX, using Wordperfect and Harvard Graphics, with Windows 3.0 as a taskswitcher. Hundreds of pages. I actually got a Navy Achievement Medal for it.

    But honestly, it was just research, and typing. And I don’t think I could type any faster on an core i7.

    // To be fair, with the task-switching, and the graphics, I was probably pushing that 386 crip to its limits.

    // If I remember right, it had a 40 MB hard drive, but DOS 4.0 could only recognize 32MB without special instructions. Those of us who were computer savvy used the remaining 8MB to keep our games, w/o the bosses knowing!

  217. Frank Lee Meidere
    April 18th, 2013 at 1:17 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder, who would never write in the margin of a book (#97): What’s wrong with writing in the margin of books? (When a friend of mine gave me The New Jerusalem Bible back in the ’70s — the one with Salvidor Dali illustrations — it was with the stipulation that I not write in the margins. I obeyed, but it was hard.)

  218. bats :[
    April 18th, 2013 at 1:18 pm [Reply]

  219. Droopy Says
    April 18th, 2013 at 1:26 pm [Reply]

    @the REAL Mark Trail (#172): Can we look forward to the occasional scene of Mark and Rusty fishing on the lake? Just fishing, and not getting interrupted by the Editor From Hell? Because one of the most annoying cliches in the Trailiverse has been “When Mark breaks his promise to take Rusty fishing, it establishes that he’s being called away on business that’s so damned important it justifies disappointing the kid.” Again and again and again.

  220. Illustrator Steve
    April 18th, 2013 at 1:30 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#212): I’ve still got that old camera but haven’t even opened it’s camera bag in years due to digital and all. Nice to hear from you again after all these years! How’s that sciatica you got from that motorcycle seat working out? Sorry I didn’t take a picture of you with the camera that day for your Chiropractor…that crooked back looked like it must have hurt wicked!

  221. Frank Lee Meidere
    April 18th, 2013 at 1:32 pm [Reply]

    @the REAL Mark Trail (#172):

    I responded with, “maybe you’re using th weather channel app to get the forecast?”… she replied; ” I could just loojk at the damned sky!”

    That’s what I keep saying when my wife spends ten minutes on the computer trying to figure out what the weather is like outside.

  222. Illustrator Steve
    April 18th, 2013 at 1:34 pm [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#219): What fun would there be then for anyone if Mark ends up taking Rusty fishing? Besides, if Mark takes Rusty fishing the whole universe would surely collapse.

    //I know,I know…don’t call you Shirley!

  223. billman
    April 18th, 2013 at 1:35 pm [Reply]

    @Will (#128):

    They recently (like, earlier this week) did a redesign and rejiggering of CK, i noticed that the ones that do not load properly have had part of the URL changed. They have changed the capitalization in some of the strip titles. And not in any systematic way, some have been capitalized where they were no capitals and some have been made lowercase that formerly had capitals and at least one (DeFlocked, formerly Deflocked) has been CamelCased. You can either re-bookmark them or just edit the URL in your bookmark by copy / pasting the last bit with the tile from the address bar. The new URLs do a reload to a generic CK intro when they can’t find the proper title. You’ll notice on those changed pages in the address bar it ends at a .html while the ones that load correctly will have the title of the strip or some abbreviation of it after a ? and some formatting.

  224. Nehemiah Scudder, Canon of the Belgian Congo
    April 18th, 2013 at 1:36 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#204): You know, I had a netbook. Great concept, poor implementation. It was too slow and the keyboard was far too small. When I’m not traveling for business, the iPad does everything I need: e-mail, web browsing, playing videos and music. The iPad guarantees a relaxing no-work weekend.

    The keyboard is the worst thing about the netbook. But it is usable, and it is better than no keyboard at all. And my netbook is plenty fast enough for anything I do (dual Intel Atom processors, maxed RAM). As I mentioned, plugged in through daisy chained USB ports, it is my main machine. Your last sentence really is the point: It isn’t possible to work with an iPad.

    But, if that works for you…

  225. commodorejohn
    April 18th, 2013 at 1:36 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#204): Does the number “5150? hold any significance to you?
    Oh, yessirree. Used to have one (mostly played QBASIC games on it) but my mother gave it to Goodwill while I was at summer camp :/ (To her credit, she never did that to me again after she realized that I actually liked it.)

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#198): Ah, nice. Only ever seen the pictures of those, but it’s a great concept.

  226. Marc
    April 18th, 2013 at 1:37 pm [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#219): Rusty is a pretty big disappointment himself. It’s a vicious cycle. Mark disappoints Rusty, Rusty disappoints Mark, Doc loses some more of his marbles, Rusty gets kidnapped, and Cherry bangs Ranger Tom Martin. Then it’s just lather, rinse, repeat.

  227. Herr Kommissar Denny
    April 18th, 2013 at 1:41 pm [Reply]

    @Marc (#226):

    Then it’s just lather, rinse, repeat.

    But I was under the impression that Lost Forest was in a soap-poor state!

  228. terrapin
    April 18th, 2013 at 1:43 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#218): For some reason, I really want to go fishing now.

  229. the REAL Mark Trail
    April 18th, 2013 at 1:44 pm [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#219): doing what I can!

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#221): hahahaahh

    @Illustrator Steve (#222): well..,. “that story” involves Mark and Rusty fishing… just hang in there!

  230. Impossibly Missioned
    April 18th, 2013 at 1:45 pm [Reply]

    MW: Come with me to Food Team… stay a while… stay FOREVER!!!!

  231. commodorejohn
    April 18th, 2013 at 1:46 pm [Reply]

    @ralph (#200): This is an excellent point. What thoughts, what hopes and dreams, flit through the minds of these cows? They have to have a more rich and nuanced inner life than any of the jackass humans.

  232. Baka Gaijin
    April 18th, 2013 at 1:48 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#225): Wow, just how old are you?

  233. Cloudbuster
    April 18th, 2013 at 1:49 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#198): That’s awesome. I wish I had one of those!

  234. tallyHO
    April 18th, 2013 at 1:52 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#87):

    It was hard to read that foundation’s name and not think of the Human Fund.
    I agree with you: it is a scam.

    mary worth (where is she anyway?:

    Missing third panel:
    Bespeckled Lady, thinking:
    GASP! Should I admit that I’m not going to Food Team but that I’m going to Team Food?

    Missing fourth panel:
    Dawn Westingmayo pops her head in and while chuckling sez:
    Life is Brutal!

    Funky Winkerbean Funny how Batuik feels compelled to stick in the words, “Isn’t this interesting…”….It is the beginning of a rhetorical question that is never finished.
    (double-checks)
    Yep. It is Funky Winkerbean, isn’t it?

    Mark Trail
    Man, Jane Russell looks like she owns the waters of that river!

    Spider-Man

    - He’s achieved Horntop!
    (Rousing cheers heard in the background)

    -How bored are they that they are watching a reality show with comic strip Spider-Man?
    Oh, God! How bored am I that I read about them watching a reality show with comic strip Spider-Man?

  235. Droopy Says
    April 18th, 2013 at 1:52 pm [Reply]

    @the REAL Mark Trail (#229): Just be gentle with us, okay? Otherwise half the people here will die of shock.

  236. Cloudbuster
    April 18th, 2013 at 1:55 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder, Canon of the Belgian Congo (#224): It isn’t possible to work with an iPad.

    I read a column recently that pointed out that this is really the great divide:

    iPads are for content consumers.
    Laptops are for content producers.

    I can’t imagine suffering even through a twitter post on the iPad’s virtual keyboard — I even texting on my Android phone’s small real keyboard.

    To blur, the lines, though, I’ve seen iPad users with those nifty add-on keyboards and stands. But at that point it’s almost a laptop anyway.

    I’ve got a Kindle I love, but it’s not the Fire, it’s just a basic model with the paper-white display, and the great thing about that is that it’s fairly low-tech for a high-tech device. And the battery lasts just about forever as long as you keep the wifi/3G shut off.

  237. Nehemiah Scudder, Canon of the Belgian Congo
    April 18th, 2013 at 1:58 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#217): What’s wrong with writing in the margin of books?

    It was the way I was raised. I am not now, nor have I ever been religious, nor was my family. But books, all books, were treated reverentially, as Holy Objects – writing in them was a Sin.

    Highlighters became popular in the early ’70′s, but unlike my schoolmates, I could never bring myself to marking up my textbooks. I’m sure that disability is why I never graduated college.

    Some years back I was at the NYC Public Library, and they had an exhibit of the marginalia of famous writers. Wordsworth’s copy of Coleridge, with Wordsworth’s notes in the margin, and such. Lots of famous writers did lots of writing in lots of other writer’s books, apparently. I was shocked. No kidding. My soul reeled, or would have, if I believed in souls. “How could they NOT know that was Wrong?”, I asked myself, and I still don’t have an answer.

    Yes, I know that’s not exactly rational.

  238. Cloudbuster
    April 18th, 2013 at 1:58 pm [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#219): Some thigns you just don’t mess with. Mark never takes Rusty fishing. If you change that, who knows what chaos you’ll get. The kid will start expecting things!

  239. Dood
    April 18th, 2013 at 1:58 pm [Reply]

    Spider-Man: “Can we switch over to the fishing channel, boss? It looks like ‘Pretty Woman 2′ with Julia Roberts in thigh waders!”

  240. Huckleberry Fink
    April 18th, 2013 at 2:05 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#1): Okay, I finally get it — felonious canaries go to
    Sing Sing and dogs like Crypto go to Bark Bark!

  241. Hibbleton
    April 18th, 2013 at 2:13 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#191):
    Although I’ve swallowed the Apple kool-aid for the most part, I’m not completely absorbed. I just programmed an Arduino to fire a laser.

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#184):
    I can see how the netbook could have its advantages but when I added a keyboard to the ipad I thought it became in essence a half-assed laptop.

    …(with Hello Kitty stickers — it’s a long story) [chuckle] My daughter is now into anime and manga (not sure what the difference is) and that stuff is all over the house.

  242. Écureuil Écumant
    April 18th, 2013 at 2:15 pm [Reply]

    S-M: Judging by that sly grin on Kingpin’s face, it doesn’t look like he really gives two shits about whether Spidey escapes. In fact, allowing spidey-chaos to be reloosed upon the world seems to hold a certain appeal for him, as if it would mask his own shenanigans.

    Now on the other hand, they better not fuck up his pizza order…!

  243. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    April 18th, 2013 at 2:16 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#204): 5150? Bah. If you’ve got a 5100, then John Titor might want to speak to you…

  244. Écureuil Écumant
    April 18th, 2013 at 2:17 pm [Reply]

    @Hibbleton (#241): “I just programmed an Arduino to fire a laser.”

    Ah! A bargain-basement way to take care of those pesky drones.

  245. bats :[
    April 18th, 2013 at 2:19 pm [Reply]

    @the REAL Mark Trail (#172): maybe you can shift “Facial Hair: Bad!” to “Shoulder Hair: Bad”…
    just a thought. :)

  246. the REAL Mark Trail
    April 18th, 2013 at 2:19 pm [Reply]

  247. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    April 18th, 2013 at 2:23 pm [Reply]

    BB: I can’t believe that no one has noticed that the thing sticking out of the tree looks like Beetle’s penis, not his nose!

    Haha! Of course, everyone has noticed! How could you not notice—in fact, how could the image of Beetle’s penis sticking out of a hole in a tree while Sarge recognizes it immediately not be seared deeply into each of our poor, victimized brains?

  248. sally
    April 18th, 2013 at 2:25 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#16):

    Only in the first panel. In the second, he’s clearly taken off the Rollin-Hand-Master-of-Disguise rubber mask to become . . . well, I don’t know any star that bland, actually.

  249. sally
    April 18th, 2013 at 2:26 pm [Reply]

    A3G: At least we finally know why LuAnn thought Margo was looking so stunning — she’s wearing Scarlett O’Hara’s corset under that shirtdress!

  250. bats :[
    April 18th, 2013 at 2:27 pm [Reply]

    @Government Cheese (#179): “And you don’t want to know where I have OTHER warts, Nancy!”

    @Cloudbuster (#238): and NOT just a box of pinecones for Christmas!

  251. Baka Gaijin
    April 18th, 2013 at 2:32 pm [Reply]

    @Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol (#243): Huh? It’s about 13 years before I have to deal with him.

  252. I speak Jive
    April 18th, 2013 at 2:33 pm [Reply]

    Rex Morgan – Looks like Rex needs a refresher course on HIPAA. How can a supposed medical strip not be aware of privacy laws? Anyone who has been to a doctor in the last several years knows about it.

    Mary Worth – In the second panel Beth readjusts her face, which is slipping off her skull.

    Funky Winkerbean – Amazing that Batiuk has paid enough attention to detail to draw the broken Venetian blinds, but can’t be bothered to research the possibility of using a pickup truck to pull a downed tree back into position, or whether a hair dryer can be used in the rain.

  253. commodorejohn
    April 18th, 2013 at 2:35 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#232): That’s a very good question. Theoretically I’m only 27, but by all rights I should probably have been born sometime in the early ’60s..

  254. Poteet
    April 18th, 2013 at 2:35 pm [Reply]

    MT — We need to settle this today, folks. Is it Shelly or Shelley? Inquiring Mudges want to know, especially Mudges who use the “find” feature.

  255. HerrWest
    April 18th, 2013 at 2:37 pm [Reply]

    Apartment 3-G
    As with most Democrats, their charm is unsurpassed. Until they start the whole “Tax and spend” tactic and start ‘giving away money’ anyway.

    Mark Trail
    Shelly: Fishing isn’t for me! Shelly mad! SHELLY SMASH PUNEY FISH!!

    Spider-Man
    King-pin’s near sightedness and refusal to wear glasses has forced him to hire nameless goons to follow him around in order to Commentate his surroundings like some kind of closed caption television.

    Blondie
    This really shines a light on the mundane human condition. Poor office workers that spend 8+ hours a day trapped in a cubical have nothing more to look forward to but death….. and pizza…when the boss calls in sick. Yup! It’s all about the pizza!

  256. Illustrator Steve
    April 18th, 2013 at 2:37 pm [Reply]

    @the REAL Mark Trail (#246):
    2007: “How come Mark never takes Rusty fishing?”
    2008: “When will Mark finally take Rusty fishing?”
    2009: “Mark broke his promise to take Rusty fishing!”
    2010: “Take the damn kid fishing, Mark Trail!!”
    2011: “Mark will proably NEVER take that mutant kid fishing!”
    2012: “Jackelrod doesn’t care WHAT we think about Mark not taking Rusty fishing!!!”
    2013: (TRMT): “There will be a new story where Mark takes Rusty fishing!”
    2013.5: “NO!! PLEASE DON’T LET MARK TAKE RUSTY FISHING!!!!!!!!”

  257. Nehemiah Scudder, Canon of the Belgian Congo
    April 18th, 2013 at 2:38 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#221): So, Frank, how is the weather at Gull Lake now? Has it stopped snowing yet? Has mosquito season started?

  258. Kinghasnoclothes
    April 18th, 2013 at 2:40 pm [Reply]

    Flakeywonderbun: Why is everyone missing the obvious? The guy in the blinds-challenged room is Tom Batiuk! He’s worked himself into the strip so his Q rating will go up like Stephan Pastis. His “Now, isn’t that interesting…” is just a little patting himself on his own back. I do hope we’ll see more clever input like this in the future.

  259. bats :[
    April 18th, 2013 at 2:42 pm [Reply]

    @Kinghasnoclothes (#258): interesting idea, but any strip with Tom B. insinuated into it would have several of his characters in the final panel staring at him and saying “You suck.”

  260. Poteet
    April 18th, 2013 at 2:43 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#61): Re MT, well put. So far, this approach to outdoor appreciation kinda reminds me of a family story about the helpful man who threw my uncle into a deep lake when he was a small kid, supposedly as his first swimming lesson, thereby causing a terror of deep water that lasted for years.

  261. Poteet
    April 18th, 2013 at 2:45 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder, Canon of the Belgian Congo (#237): Sounds familiar. The first time I saw a friend highlighting AND scribbling in a book, I reeled back, stunned.

  262. Écureuil Écumant
    April 18th, 2013 at 2:47 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#247): “the image of Beetle’s penis sticking out of a hole in a tree…”

    Wellll … it wasn’t that long ago we were treated to the spectacle of Killer’s penis sticking into a tree…

    … and Buxley’s frantic efforts to retrieve it.

  263. Nehemiah Scudder
    April 18th, 2013 at 2:49 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#253): That’s a very good question. Theoretically I’m only 27…

    Busted! Just last year you said you were 26!

  264. Rocky Stoneaxe
    April 18th, 2013 at 2:55 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug (redirected from Shrug, disambiguation) (#130): The original Daredevil used to hang out with a group of underage boys called The Little Wise Guys: Scarecrow (not the Batman villain), Pee Wee, Jock and Curly (not the Stooge).

    Until that fateful day when Chris Hansen showed up and told DD to “have a seat over there.”

  265. Poteet
    April 18th, 2013 at 2:59 pm [Reply]

    MT — Okay, I was right. *hahaha* It’s Shelley, not Shelly. I checked the back strips. I don’t really think I’m quite anal and/or obnoxious enough to start pointing that out repeatedly, but who knows….

  266. seismic-2
    April 18th, 2013 at 3:02 pm [Reply]

    Ah, time finally moves forward in the Swampyverse. They’re now up to 1954, which is when the shower scene in Porky’s takes place.

    Eventually, a really long time from now, they will be up to 1959, and they can take on the movie theater scene in Diner. (And you were wondering how to connect Beetle Bailey to Kevin Bacon?)

  267. Dood
    April 18th, 2013 at 3:04 pm [Reply]

    Mark Trail: Meanwhile, Mark’s hooked a mountain and it looks like a big one.

  268. commodorejohn
    April 18th, 2013 at 3:09 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#263): Damn! You got me. I’m actually halfway to 28!

  269. Lumaca Morente
    April 18th, 2013 at 3:09 pm [Reply]

    How does TRMT get any work done when he’s hanging out here all the time? For that matter, how do I?

  270. Ustinttil
    April 18th, 2013 at 3:12 pm [Reply]

    Satellite ” Yamal -402 ” did not come into orbit _ttp://www.interfax.ru/news.asp?id=280005.
    In principle, our government should do more simple and clear – someone shove all in black gold and gas business structure to blow up , to destroy workers , and by the full staff to go to America.

  271. Herr Kommissar Denny
    April 18th, 2013 at 3:14 pm [Reply]

  272. Artist formerly known as Ben
    April 18th, 2013 at 3:14 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#260): I’ve always liked the poem Mary Oliver wrote about an experience much like your uncle’s.

  273. seismic-2
    April 18th, 2013 at 3:15 pm [Reply]

    @Ustinttil (#270): Did a garage door just open in Ankara?

  274. Sometime-Comic-Geek Shrug
    April 18th, 2013 at 3:15 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#264):

    You forgot Meatball (not the appetizer). But that’s understandable, since he died a couple of issues after being introduced. Drowned, if I recall, possibly in ketchup. (Actually I think it was in a storm drain or somesuch.)

  275. gurhS
    April 18th, 2013 at 3:18 pm [Reply]

    @Ustinttil (#270):

    “Ustinttil” is really a failed attempt at an acronym of Lesbian Tire Network, isn’t it?

  276. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    April 18th, 2013 at 3:23 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#80): Yes! You could put a martini glass in there, too, or a champagne flute. Its only drawback: bourbon tumblers don’t have stems!

  277. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    April 18th, 2013 at 3:25 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#217): @Nehemiah Scudder, Canon of the Belgian Congo (#237): @Poteet (#261): I will write in the margins of books, albeit in pencil. When you’re trying to keep track of the main concepts of a text, across several pages, in anticipation of saving future selves from having to re-read the whole thing anew, marginal summaries and commentary start to look pretty darn good. (And putting slips of paper in only gets you so far before your book starts to look like some mutant feathered beast.)

    That said, highlighting is the work of the devil, and there is a special hell reserved for those who underline, messily and in pen, random sentences in library books.

    (Also, an amusing story: when I was an undergrad, one of my classes involved reading the Bible – as text, not holy book. I remember several of my classmates gasping when they saw that another classmate had actually dared to highlight and annotate his copy; it was funny because they had no problem writing in the other books (Plato, Thucydides, et al) and because we were a bunch of fairly iconoclastic, secular-minded students, and yet – writing in the Bible! Oh no! )

  278. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    April 18th, 2013 at 3:27 pm [Reply]

    @Sometime-Comic-Geek Shrug (#274): Damnit. Now I’ve got this line in my head:

    “Don’t drown your food! In mayo or ketchup or goop!”

  279. seismic-2
    April 18th, 2013 at 3:34 pm [Reply]

    As many of you know, there exists a comic strip called Reply all. I now learn that there is also a single-panel comic called Reply All Lite, for people who don’t have time to read the regular Reply All.

    ‘Nuff said.

  280. Lesbian Tire Net
    April 18th, 2013 at 3:39 pm [Reply]

    @gurhS (#275): This is your last warning. Speak not of the plot.

  281. Freakin Hemingwad
    April 18th, 2013 at 3:40 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#276): I heard you have some pretty nice stems.

  282. Herr Kommissar Denny
    April 18th, 2013 at 3:41 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#37): Geez! How could I miss an opportunity to play everyone’s favorite Mary Worth-themed party game, Why Is This Person Touching His/Her Face?

    My entry: Beth is touching her face because Tom just jabbed her in the neck with a syringe containing 500 mg of ketamine!

    Next?

  283. Freakin Hemingwad
    April 18th, 2013 at 3:42 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#279): Maybe people who don’t have the stomach to read it.

  284. Herr Kommissar Denny
    April 18th, 2013 at 3:44 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#279): Wow, I can’t even appreciate those ironically, and I’m at least 90% irony at this point.

  285. PriceCheck
    April 18th, 2013 at 3:47 pm [Reply]

    I find it hilarious that apparently Dagwood was so pleased about having already ordered the pizza that he just up and started walking away between panels without even bothering to answer the question.

  286. Droopy Says
    April 18th, 2013 at 3:48 pm [Reply]

    @Ustinttil (#270): WTF? Yamal 402 was successfully launched from Baikonur on 8 December 2012 and is currently in geosynchronous orbit over the western Indian Ocean. Can’t you spammers get anything right?

  287. Artist formerly known as Ben
    April 18th, 2013 at 3:49 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#279): Because after all, why should you spend more time reading Reply All than Donna Lewis spent drawing it?

  288. tallyHO
    April 18th, 2013 at 3:55 pm [Reply]

    @the REAL Mark Trail (#229):
    well..,. “that story” involves Mark and Rusty fishing… just hang in there!

    Well, now I am anticipating a crossover with “Slylock Fox” occurring. The only possible way Mark will take his son fishing must involve Count Weirdly’s Holodeck technology. That’s the only explanation that makes sense.

    That said, I look forward to how you draw Weirdly being a virtual looky loo.

  289. Rocky Stoneaxe
    April 18th, 2013 at 3:55 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#265): I think “Shelley” is a variation on “Michelle.” Although I know of at least one male Sheldon who went by the diminutive “Shelly.”

  290. Rocky Stoneaxe
    April 18th, 2013 at 4:05 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#279):

    Reply All Lite: When rock bottom just isn’t low enough.

  291. Gringo
    April 18th, 2013 at 4:08 pm [Reply]

    @Kinghasnoclothes (#258): The guy in the blinds-challenged room is Tom Batiuk! He’s worked himself into the strip so his Q rating will go up

    Or maybe he’s hoping that a direct appeal through his strip to the Pulitzer commiittee will work.

  292. bats :[
    April 18th, 2013 at 4:11 pm [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#277): I volunteer for our local Friends of the Library, and more often than not, new volunteers will approach one of us old-timers and ask in a voice, barely above a whisper, “Do we do something special with the Bibles?”.
    I’m usually pretty good and tell them that they go with the hymnals, St. Augustine’s confessions, Korans, Talmuds and other religious books (yes, until last year, we *were* boxing them separately, but so far the mixed boxing hasn’t resulted in any spontaneous combustion).

  293. Jim in Wisc.
    April 18th, 2013 at 4:12 pm [Reply]

    @Joe, the Upper-Evergreen Guy (#126):

    Luann: Oh, BULLSHIT. I want some fur to fly!

    How this? (Warning: Basically safe for work, but some may find it offensive.)

  294. bats :[
    April 18th, 2013 at 4:14 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#279): wow. I’d forgotten just how LOUSY this strip is. I cannot believe that she’s actually getting paid for this. Really.

  295. Gladly, the cross-eyed bear
    April 18th, 2013 at 4:16 pm [Reply]

    Shelley Berman!

  296. seismic-2
    April 18th, 2013 at 4:16 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#292): so far the mixed boxing hasn’t resulted in any spontaneous combustion

    Do you have any mixed boxes in the library warehouse labeled “Bibles – King James and Tijuana“?

  297. Nehemiah Scudder
    April 18th, 2013 at 4:18 pm [Reply]

    @Ustinttil (#270): Wow! Kim Kardashian’s name looks even sexier in Cyrillic!

  298. Jim in Wisc.
    April 18th, 2013 at 4:20 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#279): Holy crap! That’s on par with a comic I used to draw … when I was about 11 years old.

  299. demoncat
    April 18th, 2013 at 4:28 pm [Reply]

    mw and fate does step in and beth and tom head off to do the experiance of shopping together and then finding they share the same tastes in foodstuff. which in the mary worth universe is one way for people like beth and tom to kindle love and romance while elinor just reads her book

  300. seismic-2
    April 18th, 2013 at 4:34 pm [Reply]

    Nancy: In a truly surprising comic-strip crossover and retcon, we learn today that Sluggo is Mary Worth’s nephew!

  301. Liam
    April 18th, 2013 at 4:39 pm [Reply]

    MW-Well fishing isn’t for you because you’re a woman. All women do is clean and cook the fish.

    A3G-Beth is going to Team Food where they are much cheaper.

    Blondie-Who wants to see those two women making out with each other?

  302. Poteet
    April 18th, 2013 at 4:41 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#272): Thank you. That was new to me and very good. Mary Oliver for the win, again.

  303. Poteet
    April 18th, 2013 at 4:43 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#279): Serves me right, clicking on that. You gave fair warning. *resumes moaning*

  304. Herr Kommissar Denny
    April 18th, 2013 at 4:54 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#296): If there’s any book worthy of the Tijuana Bible treatment, it’s the King James Bible, especially the naughty parts in the Old Testament.

  305. Rocky Stoneaxe
    April 18th, 2013 at 4:55 pm [Reply]

    @Sometime-Comic-Geek Shrug (#274): Shouldn’t it be enough that Singer and Zaret dedicated a SONG to the dude?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=li0qPwn4U8Y

  306. bats :[
    April 18th, 2013 at 4:56 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#296): no. We don’t have too many categories because “excessive” sorting usually results in only 1-2 shelves of niggly topics that still tend to be argued over. These various Bibles are sorted as to “Religion,” “Erotica” and “Stuff I’m taking home to look at.”

  307. Jason1981
    April 18th, 2013 at 5:21 pm [Reply]

    A3G(panel 3): Looks like Batman’s son – Damian Wayne (Robin….4? 5?) wasn’t killed after all. He just aged about 20 years and moved to this comic strip. (Although since he has to deal with LuAnn, he’s probably wishing for death)

  308. tallyHO
    April 18th, 2013 at 5:26 pm [Reply]

    A3G:

    It took a while but that’s no governor! That’s a young Paul Anka!
    .
    .
    .
    .
    //i really barely have a clue who Paul Anka is other than a singer/jingle writer. i refuse to research him. So I don’t know if he’s still around or still working. And, I refuse to research when A3G is taking place. The only cultural touchstone they have had is James Bond. He’s, like, a 50+year old book character. So, trying to figure out when this strip is happening is still an open gambit.

  309. tallyHO
    April 18th, 2013 at 5:28 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#308):

    Oh wait a second.

    I did see Margo sitting in front of what could have been a computer. And, ironically to my prev. comment, she was doing “research”.

    (i call BS on that; she was just sitting there in front of a cookie sheet suspended above and perpendicular to a desktop.)

  310. Peanut Gallery
    April 18th, 2013 at 5:29 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#204):

    Does the number “5150″ hold any significance to you?

    ARE YOU ACCUSING COMMODOREJOHN OF BEING EDDIE VAN HALEN?

  311. Cloudbuster
    April 18th, 2013 at 5:33 pm [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#256): Hee hee! Don’t trouble us with consistency. We like our infuriating things to snark on.

  312. Majicou
    April 18th, 2013 at 5:35 pm [Reply]

    9CL: Well, that’s only common courtesy.

    H&L: Ah, I see Trixie is trying Gerber’s new “Terrifying Motile Black Goo” line.

    JP: “If you DON’T want to know where my money has gone, I spent it on hookers and blow.”

    Phantom: Flying in the paychecks by airliner each week may be inefficient, but the effect on employee morale is inarguable.

    Zits: The Generic Grill is the restaurant Herb and Jamaal run, right?

  313. Mr K Martin
    April 18th, 2013 at 5:36 pm [Reply]

    BLONDIE: Hold on. Josh! Dagwood at least is being consistent since he ordered pizzas and said specifically “Let’s NOT act like students on Spring Break.” His fellow employees, on the other hand, after finishing their pizzas, had every intention of stripping down and engaging in Roman orgy-style group sex and having the whole sordid mess recorded on tape as “Middle-Aged Employees Gone Wild”, for sale at a flea market near you.

  314. Majicou
    April 18th, 2013 at 5:37 pm [Reply]

    A3G: “Poney Academy — Where Twilight Sparkle Wrecks the Curve”

    // Someone had to say it.

  315. Zerowolf
    April 18th, 2013 at 5:39 pm [Reply]

    MW: What are the odds that two people who live in the same complex will run into each other in the parking lot? I’m not sure I can handle anymore of these crazy plot twists.

  316. Peanut Gallery
    April 18th, 2013 at 5:39 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder, Canon of the Belgian Congo (#237): The marginalia of other prominent thinkers of olden days, such as scientists and mathematicians, is also a fertile field for study. But I share that powerful taboo against writing in books. The way I resolve it is, it’s okay to write in books if and only if you are going to be regarded as famous and important 100 years from now.

  317. Mr K Martin
    April 18th, 2013 at 5:39 pm [Reply]

    @Mr K Martin (#312):

    Well, to correct myself, that was not an actual quote from Dag but that’s what he meant. I sit corrected.

  318. Peanut Gallery
    April 18th, 2013 at 5:45 pm [Reply]

    @Ustinttil (#270): Texas Tea!
    Well, the first thing you know, old Jed’s a millionaire…

    Dang it! Did you have to go and mention “black gold”?

  319. Zerowolf
    April 18th, 2013 at 5:51 pm [Reply]

    @Downpuppy, Glub Glub (#14): That’s ok Mark has been in the closet since 1946.

  320. Zerowolf
    April 18th, 2013 at 5:54 pm [Reply]

    RMMD: Milton, Rex thinks HIPPA is jungle animal.

  321. Frank Lee Meidere
    April 18th, 2013 at 5:55 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder, Canon of the Belgian Congo (#257): It’s moose season now. “Moose are on the Loose,” says the PSA on the radio.

    @Nehemiah Scudder, Canon of the Belgian Congo (#237):

    Highlighters became popular in the early ’70?s, but unlike my schoolmates, I could never bring myself to marking up my textbooks. I’m sure that disability is why I never graduated college.

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#277): @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#277):

    That said, highlighting is the work of the devil, and there is a special hell reserved for those who underline, messily and in pen, random sentences in library books.

    Highlighting is a kettle of fish of another colour. As is pen, although highlighting is worse.

  322. Zerowolf
    April 18th, 2013 at 6:01 pm [Reply]

    JP: Give money, away? What kind of blasphemy is this? A Parker-Spencer-Driver is GIVEN money just because they are a Parker-Spencer-Driver.

  323. The good ship thetis
    April 18th, 2013 at 6:12 pm [Reply]

    I once read a biography of Anne Boleyn heavily annotated in pen by someone who was obviously Irish Catholic (“why do you call us bog trotters?” was one of the plaintive scrawls) and still upset about the whole Reformation thing 400+ years later.

  324. Frank Lee Meidere
    April 18th, 2013 at 6:15 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#225): @Droopy Says (#213): @Cloudbuster (#233):
    I loved that little computer. I lived out in the country at the time and there was a root cellar — more of a cave, really, with a concrete front and a door. I tried building a larger version of the Digicomp in it, but lacked the materials. (Cardboard just didn’t do the trick.)

  325. Frank Lee Meidere
    April 18th, 2013 at 6:18 pm [Reply]

    @Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol (#243): Now there’s a name I haven’t heard for a while. Did he make it back to the future yet? (And I still think it stinks that he didn’t warn anyone about 9/11.)

  326. Nehemiah Scudder
    April 18th, 2013 at 6:22 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#321): And how about e-books? Do you know how hard it is to get highlighter ink off a Kindle?

  327. Here Come the Judge
    April 18th, 2013 at 6:25 pm [Reply]

    Mark Trail: Anyone who tries to get their significant other to warm up to the outdoors by starting them on fly fishing is an idiot, and deserves all the angry threats and expletives that are inevitably thrown at them.

  328. Zla'od
    April 18th, 2013 at 6:34 pm [Reply]

    @Luzardo (#215) “After falling hard times Mitt Romney has finally a brilliant idea to get back national notoriety: A crusade against marriage with the dead! And now he knows who will a sure target to gain the hate of Americans…”

    The Mormons…?

  329. Womens Nike Blazers
    April 18th, 2013 at 6:34 pm [Reply]

    I personally welcome a move to I would go to more Cubs games, guaranteed. Everyone talks about the fact that Wrigley is a money maker. I’m not sure that these people are considering the fact that the Cubs could build a much larger park and still sell it out. If they consistently sell 3 million tickets a year, imagine how many they would sell if they got rid of the burden of a tiny ballpark with no parking. I hate to sound like a sell out, because I truly love the history of the game in Wrigley, but I love Miller Park with its roof, parking, restaurants, score boards, etc. also, know that Chicago is very expensive to do business in, imagine how much more money they’d make on food, beer, and tickets without chicago,s onerous taxes not playing a factor.

  330. Frank Lee Meidere
    April 18th, 2013 at 6:35 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#326): Some of those things come with their own highlighters. I believe some even come with the ability to write “notes,” but with no keyboard (aside from those useless on-screen things) typing a quick note can take the better part of a day, I would imagine.

  331. Zla'od
    April 18th, 2013 at 6:37 pm [Reply]

    @Herr Komissar Denny (#304)

    This has been done.

  332. The Ridger
    April 18th, 2013 at 6:37 pm [Reply]

    Seriously, did anybody else – just for a moment – think there were two guys presenting awards in A3G today? It looks like a 2-panel-panorama, with a bar down the middle. I know it’s just because all the men look alike while somehow simultaneously not looking the same from moment to moment, but it’s freaky.

  333. Vince M
    April 18th, 2013 at 6:42 pm [Reply]

    A3G: Isn’t that Sandler and Young as the governor?

  334. seismic-2
    April 18th, 2013 at 6:47 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder, who would never write in the margin of a book (#97), @Frank Lee Meidere (#217): The printed pages of the each of the 3 volumes in The Feynman Lectures on Physics are 8.5 inches wide, but the printed text spans only 4.75 inches. Although there are some relatively small diagrams in the 3.0-inch margins, much of the textbooks in fact consists of completely white space.

    Just not for very long, if you want to pass freshman and sophomore physics.

  335. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    April 18th, 2013 at 6:48 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#321): Having condemned highlighting to the nether realms, I do have to admit that I use it professionally, when annotating PDFs as part of the indexing process. But then I am less reading and more dissecting, with the goal of re-creating the text anew in a different form.

    Plus, since it’s all electronic, the original remains in its pristine state, no matter how brutally I mark up the copy.

    But, man. The times I’ve picked up a used book, excited to find it, only to feel that excitement fade when I flip through the pages to discover that an entire chapter is now orange, or hot pink, or insipid highlighter blue.

  336. Frank Lee Meidere
    April 18th, 2013 at 6:48 pm [Reply]

    @Vince M (#333): Sandler and Young! I had one of their records as a teen and my mother, who worked at Capital Records at the time, got to meet them. I especially loved their version of Won’t You Come Home Bill Bailey as done by various nationalities. (The Jewish version was best.)

    Oddly enough, I was trying to remember their names a couple of days ago. Finally remembered, and then looked them up only to discover that Young died a few years ago.

  337. Frank Lee Meidere
    April 18th, 2013 at 6:50 pm [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#335): Especially since the highlighting most often seems to be completely random — as though done by someone who thought they were supposed to highlight stuff, but had no idea why or what for.

  338. Amos Snarkadder
    April 18th, 2013 at 6:57 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#155): I know. I never actually “figure” something out. I eventually get it to work but have to “figure” it out again the next time.

  339. Old Folkie
    April 18th, 2013 at 6:58 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder, who would never write in the margin of a book (#97): Your mother told you never to touch the computer screen…
    What – you never played Winky Dink?

  340. Old Folkie
    April 18th, 2013 at 6:59 pm [Reply]

    RE 339: I meant TV screen!

  341. bobbaloo
    April 18th, 2013 at 7:11 pm [Reply]

    now that Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell has been repealed, does Beetle still need to carve a glory hole to get serviced by Sarge?

  342. Mr. O’Malley
    April 18th, 2013 at 7:17 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#198): That’s a disappointment. I thought you meant you had one of these.

  343. Frank Lee Meidere
    April 18th, 2013 at 7:21 pm [Reply]

  344. Amos Snarkadder
    April 18th, 2013 at 7:41 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder, Canon of the Belgian Congo (#237): Me, too. I never wrote in the margins or used highlighters. I generally kept my textbooks, but if I sold them back, someone got a pristine used textbook the next semester.

  345. Vince M
    April 18th, 2013 at 7:45 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#336): Actually, I didn’t know these guys were real for a while; I saw this duo on “SCTV” in a couple of shows, and they do have that sparkling A3G magnitude: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MO1lRvc5PE8

  346. Peanut Gallery
    April 18th, 2013 at 7:57 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#279): Reply All Lite, hereafter known as “Crawfish Hair”. (It was someone in this forum, wasn’t it, who dubbed Reply All “Lobster Hair”?)

  347. Peanut Gallery
    April 18th, 2013 at 8:01 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#301):

    MT-Well fishing isn’t for you because you’re a woman. All women do is clean and cook the fish.

    If only they had read yesterday’s Popeye!

  348. Herr Kommissar Denny
    April 18th, 2013 at 8:02 pm [Reply]

    @Zla’od (#331): Featuring the likenesses of characters from Popeye and Blondie?

  349. Nehemiah Scudder
    April 18th, 2013 at 8:06 pm [Reply]

    @Old Folkie (#339): What – you never played Winky Dink?

    I don’t recall that I ever even heard of it until just now. Just read the Wikipedia article on it — fascinating! Of course, as the show aired from 1953 to ’57, and I was born in ’56*, it was a little before my time. But yes, mom was most insistent that I never, ever touch the TV screen. I don’t know that she was that concerned with x-rays (as some parents were about that show, per Wiki), but she certainly didn’t want to have to clean up my grubby paw prints.

    *Yes, that’s right. I’m in my extremely late thirties.

  350. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    April 18th, 2013 at 8:06 pm [Reply]

    @Amos Snarkadder (#344):

    The worst was when you ended up with a used textbook or reading assignment in which a prior student had highlighted over 90% of the text. So not so much highlighting as just underlining the parts they had read.

    Back in my day, pre-laptops in class, the big habit was for people to exchange their copies of the class notes for specific days, and take turns highlighting each other’s notes, then making photocopies of the highlighted notes to study with. I never understood how this helped absorb the material, but it seemed like a good way to kill time the night before an exam.

  351. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    April 18th, 2013 at 8:11 pm [Reply]

    a very colorful little something for Poteet.

  352. Poteet
    April 18th, 2013 at 8:14 pm [Reply]

  353. Poteet
    April 18th, 2013 at 8:17 pm [Reply]

    MT — Others have also looked at that last panel and briefly speculated that Shelley could have an exciting side gig as a dominatrix, right? Only briefly, of course. Briefly.

  354. Dale
    April 18th, 2013 at 8:31 pm [Reply]

    @the REAL Mark Trail (#172):

    The reason Shelley wants to use a cell-phone while camping -
    she does NOT WANT to be camping.

    Try to keep up with the rest of the class, James.

  355. seismic-2
    April 18th, 2013 at 8:34 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#353): Only briefly? In fact, I was thinking that she could have a very long and successful career as… oh, you meant only briefly speculated about what she could do. Yes, yes, only briefly. Very, very briefly. Never really even crossed my mind hardly at all, actually.

  356. Illustrator Steve
    April 18th, 2013 at 8:34 pm [Reply]

    MT – Witht that tangled fishing line, if Shelley were a guy with glasses wearing bib overalls I’d swear I was looking at episode of The Adventures with Bill ™ on an old episode of the Red Green show!

  357. Nehemiah Scudder
    April 18th, 2013 at 8:37 pm [Reply]

    @Mr. O’Malley (#342): I used to work on something like that — or its great grandson. The Ford Instrument Company’s Mk 1A Fire Control Computer. About the size of a large chest freezer, and packed with gears, cams, rods, and synchro servo mechanisms. Like a gigantic mutant Swiss watch on steroids.

  358. commodorejohn
    April 18th, 2013 at 8:55 pm [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#356): Oh, if only. Can you imagine the awesomeness if Mark Trail started crossing over with The Red Green Show?

    (I mean, Mark is already basically the American Ranger Gord…)

  359. seismic-2
    April 18th, 2013 at 9:02 pm [Reply]

    @Mr. O’Malley (#342): One of the first computers I worked on was the PDP-10. You just had to love the sound of that paper tape. The clatter of the electrical contacts gave you more confidence than the flashing lights that the machine was actually doing something. I wonder if people would pay for an app that makes an iPad create that same noise?

  360. User McUser
    April 18th, 2013 at 9:14 pm [Reply]

    Meanwhile in Mary Worth, two disguised aliens wander along a gravel road practicing the human social technique known as “small talk.”

  361. GrafSpee
    April 18th, 2013 at 9:18 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#310): Of course, Eddie Van Halen didn’t have dual floppy drives.

    I remember when the 5150 first came out. I was working for IBM at the time. Even with the employee discount, it cost over $2000 for a system (including dual monitors and a bunch of mediocre software packages). Nothing like compiling FORTRAN programs using floppy drives.

  362. commodorejohn
    April 18th, 2013 at 9:18 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#359): No, they’ve already shelled out a few hundred bucks for the illusion that they have a machine that does something!

  363. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    April 18th, 2013 at 9:19 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#357): useful for landing a Volkswagon in a trash bin from 20 miles away.

  364. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    April 18th, 2013 at 9:22 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#363):

    for those unclear on the concept, please note the Volkswagons in flight on the middle-upper right edge of this image.

    :D

  365. Nehemiah Scudder
    April 18th, 2013 at 9:32 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#363): No, the main battery of a battleship used a different, but similar analog fire control computer. The Mk 1A was part of the Mk 37 fire control system, for 5 inch guns.

  366. Huckleberry Fink
    April 18th, 2013 at 9:44 pm [Reply]

    @Womens Nike Blazers (#329): In 1944, the song was revived by Tin Pan Alley songwriters Hy Zaret and Lou Singer in a more bluesy format as “One Meat Ball”, and the recording by Josh White became one of the biggest hits of the early part of the American folk music revival…

    That’s a direct quote from Wikipedia, isn’t it? Bad enough that you’re oblivious to the difference between Josh White and Josh Fruhlinger, but to use a Wiki quote out of context simply to bolster your argument is sloppy and intellectually dishonest.

    It’s almost as though you and the writer of “Mary Worth” were the SAME person.

  367. Old Folkie
    April 18th, 2013 at 9:52 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#349): Well, sure, if you were born in 1956 you get a pass. As for me, I was 12 in 1956. My mother sent away for the kit with a plastic sheet to cover the TV screen to protect it when I drew on the screen to complete the images. The boy next door wanted a Winky Dink kit, but his mom said they didn’t want to throw away money on a stupid game – so he drew directly on the TV screen and got in trouble.

  368. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    April 18th, 2013 at 9:58 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#365): ah yes. I should have known that.

    ah well, still useful for lobbing 50-some pounds of kaboom over 11 or so miles.

  369. Sgt. Stoned
    April 18th, 2013 at 9:58 pm [Reply]

    MT: Hey, Shelley. He’s not talking aobut fishing..he’s asking you to help him straighten out his Longfellow.

    BB: “Nose” is army slang for “penis”.

    Snuffy Smif: Never watched “Hee-Haw” with Buck Owens and the Buckaroos? I don’t believe it.

  370. Ranger™
    April 18th, 2013 at 10:05 pm [Reply]

    @Huckleberry Fink (#366): Josh White also recorded under the names “Pinewood Tom” and “Tippy Barton.”

  371. seismic-2
    April 18th, 2013 at 10:06 pm [Reply]

    @Sgt. Stoned (#369): Indeed, it is hard to think of what Buck Owens’ characteristic sound would have been like without Don Rich, or Johnny Cash’s without Luther Perkins.

  372. Baka Gaijin
    April 18th, 2013 at 10:21 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#310): Shushzzzz. I was trying to cleverly smoke him out. Now you’ve ruined it. He’s probably scared off by now.

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#326): Ask a Plugger’s child or grandchild. I’m sure they’ve run into that problem a few times.

    @Old Folkie (#339): Didn’t Pee Wee Herman get arrested for playing with his Winky Dink in public?

    @seismic-2 (#359): I’d pay for an app to spit out punched paper tape. Exotic!

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#364): What? No. Really? Volkswagens in flight? Nahh. Really?

  373. Calico
    April 18th, 2013 at 10:30 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#232):
    5150 is cop code, at least in California, for an involuntary psychiatric hold on an individual, I think for 72 hours at least.

  374. Poteet
    April 18th, 2013 at 10:56 pm [Reply]

    S-M — I don’t understand why so few of these dimwit supervillains have ever heard of guns.

  375. Mr. O’Malley
    April 18th, 2013 at 11:16 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#357): Those were pretty amazing in their day.

    @seismic-2 (#359): It would be an awesome project to connect an ASR-33 to an iPad. Shouldn’t be that hard to do.

    I used a PDP-9 before the PDP-10, but we used to store stuff on those small mag tapes.

    It’s before my time, but some veterans told me they used to put an AM radio next to the CPU, and they could tell by the sound what it was doing. Very obvious if it got into an infinite loop. You might be able to do something similar with an iPad … uh, do they have radios?

    @Calico (#373): 72 hours maximum, I think. After that they have to sign themselves in to hold them.

  376. Droopy Says
    April 18th, 2013 at 11:21 pm [Reply]

    Spideridiocy: This is like watching Austin Powers, only Dr. Evil ate Fast Bastard. Then burned the gods parts of the script. “Why settle for one dead stuporhero when you can have--two dead stuporheroes?” “Hell, why go in for a life of crime when we could market your floating, self-aiming remote TV camera?”

    Creepy Les: Why couldn’t the Louse have had this case of writer’s block when he was perpetrating “Lisa’s Story”?

    Family Circus: Yep, podner, it’d be a right shame if’n a little storm spoiled your game of Lynch The Bad Guy.

    Jugs Parker: If the glaucoma wins, I want this strip published in Braille. Hey, even if my eyes last I still want it in Braille!

    Flatulent Alley: Someone really called it! Either that or Slim moved up the evolutionary ladder.

    Mark Trail: Damn, Cherry’s got the best dialog today! If Mark brought along his axe, he’ll come back to find it in Shelley’s skull.

    Pluggers: And you’re a moron if you leave your coffee cup on top of your TV-monitor. Pluggers never learn.

  377. commodorejohn
    April 18th, 2013 at 11:21 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#372): Eerily enough, I have recently purchased an Oberheim analog polysynth, and find myself plinking out the “Jump” chord progression more often than not.

    I assure you, however, that this is purely coincidence.

  378. tallyHO
    April 18th, 2013 at 11:22 pm [Reply]

    Wooo Let’s get mushrooms and trip like comic book Spiderman! Wooo!

    You say your superhero name is “Daredevil”. Well, Hornhead, let me give you a new, more appropriate name: The Scarlet Pommel Horse!

  379. seismic-2
    April 18th, 2013 at 11:29 pm [Reply]

    MW: “I’m all for going green! Do you have room in your trunk for 5 bushels of asparagus?”

  380. tallyHO
    April 18th, 2013 at 11:45 pm [Reply]

    Waitasecond! Hold the phone! Batten down the hatches, especially the ones on the hatchbacks!
    @seismic-2 (#379): reminds me that Blonde Donus there (in Mary Worth) might be considering something nefarious.

    (yes, I know. Asparagus isn’t nefarious! It is delicious! So what is the connection to Blonde Donus’ trunk and mmmmuuuUUUUUuurderrrrr!? Hold on, dear reader.)

    The case of Slylock Fox v. Getoffamylawn, You Varmit! shows that it doesn’t take a yellow mouse to see that sometimes a sheep in wolf’s clothing isn’t always what it seems. Sometimes, the wolf just hasn’t finished chewing the sheep and has some on its mouth.

    Anyway…
    Just look at Blonde Donus up there. All Shadowy and Figurey. It just beggars too many questions:

    “Food Team”? Really? You expect us to believe the name of your cannibal support group can be mistaken for the name of a supermarket chain? What do you think: we were born Snuffy Smif?

    The spiked shadow of the leaves on Blonde Donus’ head. Foreground elements in the art of this strip? That sh!t don’t happen unless it is a substitute for horns. Since this isn’t comic strip Spider-Man, I think it is fair to say the artist of Mary Worth is trying to tell us something.

    Now, granted, it may be code for “stop reading too much into the strip, you buttinsky!” but it might also mean that Blonde Donus is just evil. Plain and simple, no?

    I see this trip to go “food shopping” not ending well. Now, if Mary Worth is true to form, it should take a week and a-half to prove me wrong. By then I’ll forgotten this was ever typed.

    See ya!
    TallyHO
    The Slylock Foxian Society of Scuttlebutts and Buttery Scuttles, Member 5150

  381. Frank Lee Meidere
    April 19th, 2013 at 12:15 am [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#372):

    What? No. Really? Volkswagens in flight? Nahh. Really?

    They’re an afternoon delight.

  382. Poteet
    April 19th, 2013 at 12:19 am [Reply]

    MW — “By the way, Beth, would you like to go out with me?”
    “Sure I would!”
    “Great! And instead of making specific plans now, like normal human beings, let’s just agree that I’ll call you later today so your mother can grab the phone when it rings, claim I’m a robocall offering to reduce credit-card debt, and really bum us both out for the next entire week! Again!”
    “Okay, Tom! Sounds like a plan!”

  383. jim, some guy in iowa
    April 19th, 2013 at 12:19 am [Reply]

    judge parker “i’ll double my money!”

    hah! so much for altruism…

    but my god, is neddy even 21? $60k seems like a lot of money for a kid to be fooling with, even in the land of the spencer-driver-parkers

  384. Poteet
    April 19th, 2013 at 12:21 am [Reply]

    FW — Les delivered this exact same speech a few days ago when Cayla was trying to seduce him.

  385. Nehemiah Scudder
    April 19th, 2013 at 12:22 am [Reply]

    @Mr. O’Malley (#375): It was awesome cool. Before a gunshoot, you would put in certain data by hand – you’d use tables to calculate the I.V. (initial velocity) of your gun, based on the number of rounds fired in that barrel, and the average powder magazine temperature over the last several days. Most other inputs were automatic. Then, you would pull out a handcrank, engaging a clutch, and slowly start turning it, gradually turning faster, until you hit just the right speed (it took some practice to get it right) and then push a button to engage the electric motor. Then the whole great calculating machine would start chugging away, sending synchro orders to the gun mounts. It sounded kind of like a washing machine. Once you started shooting, you’d make corrections on the fly if needed. Right or left ten mils, up or down fifty yards, but it really was amazingly accurate. I blew up a lot of sand at Bloodsworth Island and Vieques.

  386. Poteet
    April 19th, 2013 at 12:25 am [Reply]

    JP — “They couldn’t possibly be scam artists, Abby! They’re too good-looking! I mean, just thinking about them turns my nips into pebbles! Especially him! And besides, in this strip, sixty-thou is pocket change!”

  387. jim, some guy in iowa
    April 19th, 2013 at 12:26 am [Reply]

    i do admire heathcliff’s ability to leap into action. garfield couldn’t do that without being shot out of a cannon

    (wonders if heathcliff was ‘the cat next door’ who used to claw three quarters of snoopy’s doghouse to shreds)

  388. jim, some guy in iowa
    April 19th, 2013 at 12:32 am [Reply]

    aaand, in the last of my early updates, 9cl is still just about as faux cute and stupid as it was every other day of the week

  389. Poteet
    April 19th, 2013 at 12:32 am [Reply]

    GA — Yes, that’s definitely the way to greet a man who’s about 120 years old.

  390. Nehemiah Scudder
    April 19th, 2013 at 12:32 am [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#372): What? No. Really? Volkswagens in flight? Nahh. Really?

    I suppose that needs to be explained. It’s a metaphor. The 16 inch guns of the Iowa class battleships shot a projectile weighing approximately a ton more than 20 miles. This was frequently compared to the weight of an old-style Volkswagen Beetle.

  391. Poteet
    April 19th, 2013 at 12:34 am [Reply]

    9CL — Please tell me she’s taking them off, not putting them on.

  392. Baka Gaijin
    April 19th, 2013 at 12:55 am [Reply]

    @Calico (#373): Should I be worried you snapped off that fact so quickly?

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#381): Ha ha ha Ron Burgundy.

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#390): Oh. If you want to keep the kiddies’ interest, stick with the flying Volkswagen’s bit.

  393. Mibbitmaker
    April 19th, 2013 at 1:05 am [Reply]

    Weird week, computer-wise, so (after skimming comments)….

    4/18:

    FW: Here comes the former just-a-sleazebag/now-a-date-rapist (victim: Lisa) Batty’s been threatening readers with. And he’s as smug as Les, I see…

    Popeye: The Fleischer brothers sadly shake their heads….

    MT: “So, don’t enjoy our Sacred Mother Nature, huh, Elinor — uh, I mean, …. Shelly…?”

  394. Baka Gaijin
    April 19th, 2013 at 1:07 am [Reply]

    Friday’s Early Comments

    I still say Kingpin and pal are watching a spandex cosplay porno.

    “Relax, Luann, it’s in the bag.” Margo continues, “Men are suckers for handy-j’s.”

    For some reason today’s Bizarro really tickled my chuckle reflex.

    I don’t understand Henry. Of all the people who won’t tell a secret, it’s Henry.

  395. Nehemiah Scudder
    April 19th, 2013 at 1:08 am [Reply]

    Love is…: … is disturbing. The empty black eyes, as she tramples the hearts of her many conquests. Miss Love-is cannot permit even one to escape her toils!

  396. Baka Gaijin
    April 19th, 2013 at 1:17 am [Reply]

    Me likey where Mark Trail is going. Men leave, angry sophisticated woman ties the annoying country bumpkin to a log and “punishes” her.

    I don’t think Starbucks makes a cup of java big enough to keep me awake during this exciting adventure to the grocery store.

    Slylock Mystery: Jessica Rabbit accuses Reeky Rat of gobbling all of Jessica Rabbit’s Twinkies and Doritos stash. What evidence does Slylock see to prove Reeky’s guilt? Answer: Purple glass skull bong with righteous buds sitting on the coffee table.

    I can’t believe I’m saying this but, “Amen, Zits.” I can never find replacement shoelaces that fit and Zappos doesn’t sell shoelaces.

  397. Chip Whittle
    April 19th, 2013 at 1:29 am [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#394):

    I don’t understand Henry. Of all the people who won’t tell a secret, it’s Henry.

    I get angry whenever Henry answers the phone. What does he even think he’s doing?

  398. tallyHO
    April 19th, 2013 at 1:38 am [Reply]

    @Chip Whittle (#397):

    I mean no offense to those who cannot speak* but when Henry answers the phone, he’s disrupting his universe. Anything that happens in that “Oh Boy! Ha ha!” way is quite predictable, really. He’s a chaos agent; throwing wrenches in the works of his comic strip’s logic.

    I swear one time I saw him trying to bean a cop. I was like…say whaaa? Since Henry was back the next day being a “simple folk” idiot, god knows if he served time. If he has then it doesn’t show. We should be grateful for that.

    Just image how much chaos of misunderstanding he causes and witnesses while incarcerated. His Death Row stories alone would be fantastic…if…he could tell them to us.

  399. tallyHO
    April 19th, 2013 at 1:43 am [Reply]

    *the absolute oddest phone conversations are with an interpreter for a person who is deaf/mute. You don’t know how much of the conversation makes it through to the person you are supposed to be “talking with”.

    I respect the hell out of people who go through life working around what most would call a “disability”. It can’t be easy for them. Our lives are so cushy. We take minor things for granted and inconveniences for us must be nightmares for those who have to jump through three hoops or more to approximate simple things, like talking on the phone.

    Hopefully, technology just helps them “fit in” but it sucks to even want to write this. There’s nothing wrong with people who can’t speak or with people who can’t hear.

    Henry on the other hand: chaos agent. Plain and simple. The MFer is trying to mess with everyone in his path. Damien from the movie “The Omen” was more innocent than Henry is.

  400. Baka Gaijin
    April 19th, 2013 at 1:44 am [Reply]

  401. tallyHO
    April 19th, 2013 at 1:50 am [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#399):
    Gah!

    What I mean by: “There’s nothing wrong with people who can’t speak or with people who can’t hear.” is that we who can speak and who can hear should not treat them like crap or like they can’t do what we do daily. they are people, plain and simple. Hopefully they are good people, too.

    But, back to Henry…I would predict that the End is Near should Henry ever become mentored by Ziggy. My god, we should all fear such a predicament. It would lead to a conundrum with consequences so significant that we would be doomed. Just doomed.

  402. tallyHO
    April 19th, 2013 at 1:54 am [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#400):

    1) the “Henry” strip bugs me. It is “old” but it is also an anachronism. Since they have not ended it and it is waaay past its prime, I will make fun of it.

    2) I’ll make fun of the fact Henry does not utter a word. He’s a comic strip character. He can do any thing what so ever and yet he just serves as a chaos agent who is occasionally proactive?

    3) I defend the disabled and this is what I get?

    4) If three is the “magic number” then is four just metaphysically, fukkin phenomenal?

  403. seismic-2
    April 19th, 2013 at 1:55 am [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#398): It’s always a hoot when Henry receives a phone call from Li?. The only phone conversations to exchange less meaningful information are the ones between Lu Ann Powers and Luann DeGroot.

  404. tallyHO
    April 19th, 2013 at 1:56 am [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#400):
    5) I suggest you consult my posting schedule detailing the ratio of my absurd postings.

  405. seismic-2
    April 19th, 2013 at 1:57 am [Reply]

    So, @seismic-2 (#403): So, that’s not the way to spell Liō.

  406. tallyHO
    April 19th, 2013 at 2:01 am [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#403):

    While I try> to simulate the greatness of one-sided conversations on this site when I write “I call BS!” very few people are good at those types of conversations when it comes to comedy.

    My template, badly followed, is Bob Newhart. He’s the king.

    Henry is…alternately am innocuous pawn and absolutely malevolent.

    I don’t know how to clarify that. Henry to me is what 9CL/Pigborn is to so many other people?

    Nix that.
    He’s no Ziggy. Yet, I still fear them teaming up more than I fear comic strips SpiderMan comparing crotch shots and doing jello shots prior to an evening of “pattrolling” in the city of San Francisco.

  407. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    April 19th, 2013 at 2:02 am [Reply]

    9CL: A normal person would have explained the situation to the farmer – “My assistant has brought me my working clothes; do you have someplace I can change into them and out of these ones covered in cowshit?” – but, then, a normal person wouldn’t be in this situation in the first place.

  408. Nehemiah Scudder
    April 19th, 2013 at 2:03 am [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#399): There’s nothing wrong with people who can’t speak or with people who can’t hear.

    I’m assuming you mean nothing morally or ethically wrong — otherwise that’s simply self-contradictory gibberish.

  409. Nehemiah Scudder
    April 19th, 2013 at 2:05 am [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#401): Ok. Yep. We are all agreed, then. Doughnuts, anyone?

  410. tallyHO
    April 19th, 2013 at 2:06 am [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#406):

    My point being* if there’s ever two Henrys in that comic strip, I want to see them both Deucified!
    Deuc-i-fied!!!!!!!!!!!

    (can you image Henry or Ziggy’s bodies hanging from a giant, wooden number 2? I can’t, mind you. I can conceive of the word problem but nothing literal (or very desired). )

    Based on Henry’s design, I’d guess he’ll be buried up to his neck by the mob and no one will notice that come harvest time.

    Yeah. I should feel sorry for him but he’s a damn comic strip character.

  411. Baka Gaijin
    April 19th, 2013 at 2:09 am [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#406): Yes, Bob Newhart’s standup with the one-sided phone conversations are classic. Totally.

  412. tallyHO
    April 19th, 2013 at 2:10 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#408):

    I was writing from experience with an interpreter for the mute. She laid into me something fierce and I explained myself but I don’t how much of that made it to her client. I never met the interpreter. I did meet the client. Who was nice.
    But the interpreter was trying to twist around what I was saying.

    Experience: Frustrating, perplexing, not-easy-to-forget, obviously.

  413. Nehemiah Scudder
    April 19th, 2013 at 2:17 am [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#412): Krispy Kreme, if that’s ok with everybody. Dunkin’ is ok, but for shear airy useless calories, I go with KK. Oh, sorry, I ate all the lemon filled. Try the crullers!

  414. Dale
    April 19th, 2013 at 2:19 am [Reply]

    MARK TRAIL

    Wes, this is the vacation camping trip of your dreams. Except -
    Your new wife doesn’t want to be here: she came just to make you happy.
    She can’t get cell-phone reception.
    You really botched the fishing experience.
    IGNORE HER. Take me flying (at your expense).

  415. Nehemiah Scudder
    April 19th, 2013 at 2:24 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#413): Though I must say that Dunkin’ has a really awesome “everything” bagel. But, hey, it’s raining, and I’m not going out again!

  416. tallyHO
    April 19th, 2013 at 2:24 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#413):

    Sure. Donuts!

    Dunkin’s is probably still open. Not sure about Krispy Kreme.

  417. tallyHO
    April 19th, 2013 at 2:26 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#415):

    Oh.

    I try to be diplomatic and you bring up “everything bagels”!??!

    Worst ideas in the world, they are.
    Just a mess waiting to be cleaned up is what they are.

  418. Nehemiah Scudder
    April 19th, 2013 at 2:32 am [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#417): everything bagels…Worst ideas in the world, they are.

    I hope we will not be enemies, but I fear we cannot be friends, anymore.

  419. tallyHO
    April 19th, 2013 at 2:36 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#418):

    Hey. If you like ‘em, that’s fine with me.

    I will probably choose another variety, something with the extras on the insides and not on the outsides. That’s all I’m saying.

  420. Nehemiah Scudder
    April 19th, 2013 at 2:39 am [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#419): Right ho, TallyHO! I just hope you’re sound on the K&E cursor controversy.

    // That really is the shibboleth!

  421. Mr. O’Malley
    April 19th, 2013 at 2:50 am [Reply]

  422. tallyHO
    April 19th, 2013 at 2:50 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#420):

    Oh. It is too late to add to the controversies I see.

    I will make this tangentially relate comment on Mark Trail and then turn in for the nonce.

    Mark Trail:

    Cherry is excited about Mark getting her photos of Big Horn sheep.
    gah-rrrrrwoooooowwwwwullll!

    Cherry, settle down! They are only photographs. They are not documented proof of what Mark desires from what he and you could be.

    PS, the lady visitor is calling her old flame, Rod Bassy, to remind him of how much she hates cane poles and how much she loves his casting techniques over her current husbands.

    If Mark were smart (and that’s debatable. he would punch where the river flows, reversing the course river and the reap the rewards of cofusd fishes..

    Sigh. Thare be rewards earned in the name of JUSTICE!!!!!!!!

  423. Nehemiah Scudder
    April 19th, 2013 at 2:58 am [Reply]

    @Mr. O’Malley (#421): Oh. So you’re one of Them, are you?

  424. Master Softheart
    April 19th, 2013 at 3:56 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder, Canon of the Belgian Congo (#237): For reference purposes, I finished my doctorate while retaining a religious awe of books that prevented me from ever defacing them with my comments or highlighting (and trust me, books in my discipline do not deserve such respect.

    In extremis, post-it notes marked my citations and made it appear as though my books were blossoming a strange set of geometric yellow flowers.

  425. John C Fremont
    April 19th, 2013 at 5:14 am [Reply]

    Great. Now I have Afternoon Delight stuck in my head and a hankering for doughnuts.

  426. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    April 19th, 2013 at 5:53 am [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#407):

    A normal person would have changed first before visiting the farm, but of course that would have avoided all the delicious “OMG! Women’s Undergarments!” ribaldry that is the whole point of this story line. And made it more difficult for Fleurry to bill for the – what, over an hour? – that they have spent jerking the farmer around without doing anything for the cow.

  427. gleeb
    April 19th, 2013 at 6:10 am [Reply]

    Ham Shears: She could be even more dangerous than the guy who stole his hat.

    3-G: Margo knows the fix is in. I wonder what her cut is?

    ‘bean: So, will the disheveled guy from yesterday have to hust walk away when he finds that there is no screenplay for him to mess with/steal/horn in on? Anyway, where is that guy? Why are we ignoring him like he was the Moon over Chicago?

    Neddy, Sheltered Sucker!: Yeah, it’s a scam all right.

    Dick: Clearly Mrs F is angered at something Mumbles has said. If the writers has chosen a character who merely has a grotesque facial deformity, i might understand why she’s upset. This is worse than the damn crocodiles in Pearls Before Swine.

    Mark: You could at least answer the question. Or are the sheep part of the reason she can’t get phone service there?

    Nancy: The heartwarming message is that true Christian fellowship is spread by trying to kill people? I’d like to hear a Brethren Church rebuttal.

  428. Huckleberry Fink
    April 19th, 2013 at 6:15 am [Reply]

    @John C Fremont (#425): It’s better than having Il Pesceballo stuck in your head and a hankering for one — only one! — meatball.

  429. The Diceman
    April 19th, 2013 at 6:57 am [Reply]

    MW: Joe Giella has difficulty with Tom’s silhouette and thinks “fuck it, I’ll put his face in shadow.”

  430. The Diceman
    April 19th, 2013 at 7:00 am [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#426): I don’t usually read 9CL, but I tried to go back and follow this storyline. Near as I can tell, this night has been progressing over the course of months worth of strips. Kinda makes MW pacing look like a NASCAR race.

  431. Elmo
    April 19th, 2013 at 8:10 am [Reply]

    Shelly’s hip waders are HOT!

  432. NotThatGuy
    April 19th, 2013 at 9:53 am [Reply]

    FW: Thing is, anyone who lives with cats has venetian blinds that look like that. It has nothing to do with poverty, or lack of it.

  433. ValentineYvann
    February 1st, 2014 at 11:42 pm [Reply]

    And in another name spat, US sexual assault awareness charity Take Back The Night has issued a complaint via lawyers over the new Justin Timberlake ??very sexual?? single, which bears the same name and the charity believes the single could have a detrimental effect on the charity’s online presence with Executive Director Katherine Koestner explaining: “Everyone at Take Back The Night is really shocked, because normally, we get asked when people want to use the name. Normally entities as large as Justin Timberlake do very kind and thoughtful things to support our cause. We have some big concerns. For example, all of a sudden on Wikipedia, ‘Take Back The Night’ has a different definition. That’s not been helpful”. The legal grounds fro any complaint remain unclear to this blogger and for his part, Timberlake has now issued his own statement, saying he hopes this dispute can be turned into a positive, by winning the charity more attention saying ??It is my hope that this coincidence will bring more awareness to this cause”.

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