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Pretty sure Heather isn’t bound by a “nanny code of confidentiality” or anything

Rex Morgan, M.D., 4/19/13

So Rex strong-armed Milton into canceling an 8 am business meeting to go get some tests to find out whether or not he’s going to die at any moment. But Milton didn’t get to be a highly strung business asshole by letting so-called “doctors” push him around just in order to stave off so-called “death,” so he had to pull the little power play you see here, to make sure Rex is kept in his place. Basically, Rex, those tests better come back with answers that allow Milton to “enjoy” his current soul-killing lifestyle … or your pregnant wife gets it, capisce?

Heathcliff, 4/19/13

You guys, today’s Heathcliff features Heathcliff suspended in mid-air, a là Bullet Time from the Matrix, as his angry owner-lady informs her doomed guests that hot furry death is about to descend on their faces, all yowling and slashing claws. It is honestly amazing.

Panel from Spider-Man, 4/19/13

Oh, look, here’s the most erotic Spidey-Daredevil panel to date! ENJOY YOUR WEEKEND, EVERYBODY.

241 responses to “Pretty sure Heather isn’t bound by a “nanny code of confidentiality” or anything”

  1. the SURREAL Rocky Stoneaxe
    April 19th, 2013 at 7:24 am [Reply]

    Agnes — That’s a freakily accurate likeness of MRS. HAMMY THE SQUIRREL! if you ask me.

    Arlo & Janis — Wait ’til Janis takes a gander at the baby terrier pictures queek posted online.

  2. bunivasal
    April 19th, 2013 at 7:25 am [Reply]

    Heathcliff has more action in that panel than the last month of Spider-man. Awesome.

  3. Stoney Rockaxe
    April 19th, 2013 at 7:28 am [Reply]

    Heathcliff — We Have No Mouths, and We Must Scream.

  4. Cloudbuster
    April 19th, 2013 at 7:31 am [Reply]

    9CL: Because saying “the doc is changing into dryer, more sensible clothes” would be too preposterous or scandalous.

  5. Ratiocinator
    April 19th, 2013 at 7:32 am [Reply]

    RMMD: “If you tell your wife anything about my heart trouble, Rex, then I will reveal to the world the horribly embarrassing information that you impregnated the woman to whom you are married!!! And then you’ll have to put up with people congratulating you all the time and asking when the baby’s due and maybe even sending you cards! Yeah, you should be scared!”

    ASM: Well, Kingpin’s cranium is looking especially egglike today.

    FW: For a half a second when I first looked at today’s strip, I thought that Les was saying “Okay, this is shit.” Which is probably is.

    Garfield: If you feel that your relationship with your significant other could be improved by harming yourself and if she reacts to the idea with apathy, it might be a sign that the magic is gone.

    JP: So, obscenely rich Neddy isn’t giving money to Thalia and her husband out of a desire to help her fellow human beings who are worse off than she is. Obscenely rich Neddy is giving money to Thalia because she wants to get obscenely richer.

    Could there be a little, tiny, shriveled, miserly black heart underneath those enormous, perfectly formed boobs?

  6. Liam
    April 19th, 2013 at 7:33 am [Reply]

    Spiderman-This is San Francisco. They aren’t wrestling. They’re fucking.

    A3G-I thought sex with the female interns was the most rewarding thing of your job.

    Crankshaft-The women folk are such bad cooks. Am I right?

    MT-Bighorn Sheep? I thought they all died after being seen by the mythical Rusty creature with it’s cry of “Will you take me fishing?”.

    MT 2-When I’m flying I like to see pink elephants.

    MW-And Tom is all for going for the pink. A woman’s pink if you know what I mean.

    RMMD-Was that a threat? Were you just threatening me?

  7. Alice
    April 19th, 2013 at 7:36 am [Reply]

    Luann: Prune juice, huh? Evans and Evans seem to be begging us to make poop jokes, so I won’t oblige them. That said, the squiggle over Brad’s glass in the last panel mystifies me. Did Frank and Nancy serve the juice hot? Or is there some sort of volatile toxin in there, perhaps intended for Toni, except that Brad, being the dimwit he is, managed to grab her glass? “Lost a son and gained a daughter-in-law,” indeed.

  8. pugfuggly
    April 19th, 2013 at 7:37 am [Reply]

    RMMD I know that Rex tends to looked perplexed at the best of times, but it seems that Milton’s knowledge of his wife’s pregnancy has literally blown his mind. “Women talk…to each other?” he thinks, smoke billowing out of his ears. “I’m going to have to rethink what I say in front of the ladyfolk…”

    Healthcliff looks like he going to attack, but he’s really just showing his displeasure by whipping out his furry, barbed kitty-wang in mid-air.

  9. Marc
    April 19th, 2013 at 7:43 am [Reply]

    Hi & Lois- This can’t be about anything other than Lois just walked in on her son masturbating, can it?

  10. Dennis Jimenez
    April 19th, 2013 at 7:45 am [Reply]

    RMMD – I’m diggin’ Rex’s face, but then with all that fancy medical training, he’s probably nonplused by the notion that June is pregnant, when they never had sex….

    Heathcliff – Much like the mouth-less couple on the sofa, I’m dumb-struck….

    S-M – Wow – it really is S-M….

    Adios Amigos, DJ.

  11. Hibbleton
    April 19th, 2013 at 7:52 am [Reply]

    RMMD: Hold on there, Milton. I forgot to take your temperature and I seem to be all out of oral thermometers.

  12. Stoney Rockaxe
    April 19th, 2013 at 7:55 am [Reply]

    Wizard of Ick — It IS Rusty.

  13. Lumaca Morente
    April 19th, 2013 at 7:56 am [Reply]

    FC: Boy, that’s a long jump-rope for a girl who’s only 18 inches tall.
    //this is my first post so not sure why I got kicked out for ‘posting too quickly’. Is someone using my identity? Because, really, you can have my identity. Please.

  14. Lumaca Morente
    April 19th, 2013 at 7:57 am [Reply]

    @bunivasal (#2): Oooh. Mashup panels from today’s Heathcliff and ASM, please!

  15. pugfuggly
    April 19th, 2013 at 8:00 am [Reply]

    ASM “Yes, it’s a beautiful day here in San Fransisco, perfect weather for a superhero rumble!”
    “That’s right Kingpin, and round two of today’s stellar Spiderman-Daredevil match promises to be a nail-biter! I want to get your thoughts the fight so far, but first, a word from our sponsor: Evil Science Mind-control Gas….”

    FW “There was half a slice of pepperoni in the trash this morning, I’d better check if it’s still there…”

    MT How do the rich avoid ants at a pic-nic? Simple: suspend yourselves 3 feet off the ground from a hot-air balloon.

    MW I imagine that in about 20 minutes, “For the good of the environment!” is what Tom is going to be yelling at the point of orgasm from the backseat of his Prius.

    Pluggers keep using their old computers years after they’ve stopped working. Throwing out something old, outdated and useless just reminds them too much of their own mortality.

  16. AceDiamond
    April 19th, 2013 at 8:01 am [Reply]

    Heathcliff- “And when Heathcliff hears the word “dog”, he instantly transforms into 80′s pro wrestler Jimmy Superfly Snuka!”

  17. Lumaca Morente
    April 19th, 2013 at 8:01 am [Reply]

    FW: Do people in Ohio call white folks ‘cracker’? And isn’t it pretentious of Les to refer to himself in the third person like that?

  18. Alfred E. Neuman
    April 19th, 2013 at 8:02 am [Reply]

    FC— Dolly is concerned that if P.J. gets wet, he might slip out of the noose.

    GA— Did anyone not see this coming?

    Hi & Lois— Lois should know better than to interrupt Chip as he furiously engages in his daily solo bed date.

    JP — Tomorrow’s strip, today!: Abbey meets Thalia’s leather-clad, bike riding brother, “Ponzie”. Aaaay!

    Pluggers— Is there now a commodorerich?

    9CL— I understand Fleurrie’s consternation. When I was single, I used to hate it when that happened to my dates.

  19. Lumaca Morente
    April 19th, 2013 at 8:04 am [Reply]

    @Alice (#7): Those squiggles over Brad’s glass are stink rays, coming from the backwash…

  20. Lumaca Morente
    April 19th, 2013 at 8:09 am [Reply]

    @Alfred E. Neuman (#18): “I understand Fleurrie’s consternation. When I was single, I used to hate it when that happened to my dates. “- but now that you’re married, it doesn’t bother you.

  21. Horace Broon
    April 19th, 2013 at 8:10 am [Reply]

    A3G: Margo is speaking literally; whoever wins, she knows the money is actually in her bag, and all she has to do is escape with it.

    GT: “The first rule of personal injury law is I don’t care about your dad one way or the other, I just want to destroy him to prove how awesome I am!”

    JP: Okay, I know this is going to turn out to be a scam, but I can’t see how Neddy even thinks that “water purification for impoverished African villages” = $$$$!!

    Pluggers: +10 points for a reasonable drawing of a C64 computer-in-the-keyboard. Then -10 for also drawing a 90s desktop box.

  22. LUJBEM FEJF
    April 19th, 2013 at 8:12 am [Reply]

    Spidey- Spiderman and the Daredevil are merely practicing for the Superhero Dance Off between them and Ace and Gary.

  23. TheDiva
    April 19th, 2013 at 8:13 am [Reply]

    RMMD: What, are they trying to keep June’s pregnancy a secret? Rex does know that’s a short-term solution at best, right?

    SM: Physical force being ineffective (as per usual), Spidey tries to faith-heal away the effects of the mind-control gas.

  24. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    April 19th, 2013 at 8:16 am [Reply]

    Lio: *golf clap*

    SBp: *snurk*

    Zits: somehow, I’m not surprised.

    OBH: darnit, Hammy!

    Pluggers: burrrrrrrrrnnnnnnnnnn.

  25. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    April 19th, 2013 at 8:17 am [Reply]

    Love Is. . . trippin’ BALLS

  26. bats :[
    April 19th, 2013 at 8:18 am [Reply]

    MW: what’s that old saying? “Once you go black, you don’t go back.”? “Once you go green, you’ll rupture your spleen.”? Hey, it’s a Mary Worth/Brewster Rocket crossover! At last!

  27. mvg
    April 19th, 2013 at 8:27 am [Reply]

    ASM: Afraid I can’t buy your interpretation of the ASM artwork, Josh. In this situation, SpiderMan would always be the catcher, not the pitcher.

    MT: Dare we hope this presages a small-plane crash high in the mountains w/this foursome aboard & their eventual resort to cannibalism in order to survive? Having the most foodlike name, Cherry may be the first to go, which would ironically (by which I mean “tragically”) be the first time she’s been eaten since marrying Mark.

  28. I speak Jive
    April 19th, 2013 at 8:27 am [Reply]

    My reaction to the romance between Tom and Beth is a shrug. However, I greatly prefer that to the Sven/Fleurrie hookup, which makes my skin crawl and my stomach churn.

  29. TheDiva
    April 19th, 2013 at 8:32 am [Reply]

    9CL: At first I wondered why Fleurrie cared, since she’s presumably removing the hose and doesn’t need them in immaculate condition anymore. Then I wondered how you manage to snag pantyhose on a steering wheel anyway. Then I wondered why I was even bothering.

    A3G: The phrase “dumber than a bag of hammers” is going to crop up in his next speech, isn’t it?

    C’shaft: And yet Crankshaft’s reign of grilling terror goes unabated…

    FW: Les realizes that if he starts writing, he won’t be able to milk any self-pity out of having writer’s block any more.

    MW: “As we drive, would you like to engage in conversation? It is something the hu-mans do, I understand…”

    Pibgorn: Crap, it’s starting over….

  30. Stoney Rockaxe
    April 19th, 2013 at 8:35 am [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#13): Stupid filter probably thought you were Mudge lumandabner.

  31. Voshkod
    April 19th, 2013 at 8:35 am [Reply]

    In the second panel of Rex Morgan, the largest patch of shadows above Rex has eyes. No, it does, look again. What . . . the . . . hell?

  32. bats :[
    April 19th, 2013 at 8:36 am [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#13): um, I don’t think Dolly has skipping rope in mind…

    A3G: if you can get the Governor of New York to attend a function where Big Cash Prizes are $500 and $1000, who attends those events with really big payouts…the Pope?

  33. bats :[
    April 19th, 2013 at 8:37 am [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#14): patience…

  34. Kch
    April 19th, 2013 at 8:38 am [Reply]

    Look at those clenched fists, that grimaced face: at least Daredevil’s taking it like a man, something that would never be said of Spidey..

  35. But What Do I Know?
    April 19th, 2013 at 8:38 am [Reply]

    MW — If these are the best flirtation lines Beth can come up with her novels must be as dull as a Charterstone board meeting. . .

    JP — Abby, I have one word for you–filtration.
    Neddy, you’re trying to seduce me. . .

    ASM — So what did Kingpin need Spidey’s DNA for again?

  36. Amino Man
    April 19th, 2013 at 8:44 am [Reply]

    Mark Trail–I don’t care what the dialogue says, in panel 1 all I see is a woman holding a compact and patting her cheeks with face powder, like my mom may have done in the early ’50′s

  37. jim, some guy in iowa
    April 19th, 2013 at 8:44 am [Reply]

    pibgorn: gak. some other cartoonist is *paying* mc eldowney to be this bad, so that he/she looks good in comparison

  38. HerrWest
    April 19th, 2013 at 8:47 am [Reply]

    Rex Morgan:
    Milton: ”I believe we understand each other!” (Which is more than I can stay about the poster board signs hanging on the wall over there…. Damn my illiteracy! Why words?? WHY DO YOU MOCK ME!?)

    Heathcliff:
    Heathcliff isn’t on a mad rampage that will result in the untimely death of his owner’s guests. He’s clearly playing Spiderman. The only thing he’s missing is someone willing to play Deardevil and pose suggestively, bent over, in front of him as they both jump thru the air. Could this so called “dog” that everyone’s talking about be Heathcliff’s chance to find a willing friend to fulfill his dark fantasy? Maybe so Heathcliff…. Maybe so.

    Panel from Spider-Man:
    Anal Sex while flying threw the air, wasn’t nearly as pleasurable as Newspaper Spiderman had imagined.

  39. bats :[
    April 19th, 2013 at 8:48 am [Reply]

    *snif* I haven’t been this close to breaking out the old fishnets and polyester bell-bottoms in a long, long time. Yep, today’s ASM is definitely Dingo-approved. And then some…

    Oh, and since it’s Friday, let’s make it a Disco Friday! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nuhiYsW7T2o

  40. Digger
    April 19th, 2013 at 8:48 am [Reply]

    I think I had some clever comment to make about Rex Morgan, but then that Spidey-Daredevil panel blasted it out of my head.

  41. SideshowJon
    April 19th, 2013 at 8:50 am [Reply]

    The color scheme for panel 2 of Rex Morgan is simply ominous. Dark skies, black clouds. The good doctor is terrified of being outed as a Heterosexual.

  42. Lumaca Morente
    April 19th, 2013 at 8:52 am [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#39): But not fishnets *with* bellbottoms… right?
    //and thank you so much for sharing your brilliant humor with us. We really only need the original comics to provide you with fodder.

  43. Artist formerly known as Ben
    April 19th, 2013 at 8:53 am [Reply]

    Spider-Man: Funny, I would have guessed that Daredevil was a top.

  44. Suzy
    April 19th, 2013 at 8:53 am [Reply]

    #15 Pugfuggly…CoTW for the win!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    “MW I imagine that in about 20 minutes, “For the good of the environment!” is what Tom is going to be yelling at the point of orgasm from the backseat of his Prius.”

  45. seismic-2
    April 19th, 2013 at 8:55 am [Reply]

    MT: Oh boy! The last time someone in LoFo went looking for bighorn sheep from a plane, they wound up kidnapping Rusty! Now, it’s Wes and Shelley’s turn to take a mutant hostage! This will give Shelley plenty of reason to hate the indoors, too.

    FW: You want to see if there’s any pizza left? You work in a damn pizza parlor, idiot – there’s always pizza left. It helps that it’s Montoni’s, since no one has yet eaten an entire pizza there and lived to tell about it.

    RMMD Milton knows that June is pregnant. So does everyone else who pays to take part in the daily San Diego Stripperhouse webcam chats. (You think Junior was planning on making money by collecting rent???) Milton has the platinum card, 24-hour per day 3-D Web feed. Do you wonder why he has elevated blood pressure and feels hot all the time?

  46. Artist formerly known as Ben
    April 19th, 2013 at 8:57 am [Reply]

    RMMD: Milton’s parting shot is totally irrelevant to everything, of course, but it’s part of his code. Every meeting has to end with a veiled threat.

    MT: “Why can’t I get a cell phone signal out here? Oh right, we’re in the middle of the wilderness, and it’s 1955.”

    MW: If Beth opens her jacket to reveal a “Save Water, Shower Together” t-shirt, we’ll all see how much we’ve misjudged her.

    WofI: The coloring gnomes deserve credit for giving Prince a purple guitar. Of course they seem to have missed something else about him.

    JP: It’s still entirely possible that the Clearings are taking Neddy for a ride, but at least Abbey can rest assured she hasn’t come down with altruism.

    Garfield: Sorry, Jon, you won’t get a publishing deal off of it. You don’t have the right lineage.

    BB: Nor does he understand “moderate drinking” or “sexual harassment statutes.”

    H&L: Pretty hip of Walker-Browne Enterprises to put a Field Mouse poster in Chip’s room, as the Brooklyn band is known mainly to music bloggers and indie mavens. What’s that? You say Lois just walked in on her son masturbating? Really, I was so busy looking at the poster I hadn’t noticed.

    GT: I see Jimmy’s dad plans to go with the “if I don’t remember it, it didn’t happen” defense. Lotsa luck!

    H&J: Uhuru whiffed one of the answers because she doesn’t want to die. Something tells her classmates are making up Navajo sayings so she won’t screw up the curve.

    Luann: Beware, Toni. Nancy’s insistence on keeping her extended family regular may seem cute now, but it won’t always.

    OBH: Oh well in that case…

    A3G: “Or at least it’s half in the bag. No, wait, that’s me.”

  47. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    April 19th, 2013 at 8:57 am [Reply]

    A3G: “Let me tell you a little about her. She’s got a sweet ass, and some nice, perky breasts. Not too bright, but hey, I’ll listen to her babble some art nonsense if it’ll get me into her . . . well, I’m a little vague on just what she’s wearing below the waist for some reason, but you know what I mean!”

    MW: I honestly love that in Beth’s most romantic moment so far, she looks even homelier than usual.

  48. Stoney Rockaxe
    April 19th, 2013 at 8:58 am [Reply]

    Shoe — LUJBEM FEJF put you up to this, didn’t he?

  49. Artist formerly known as Ben
    April 19th, 2013 at 8:58 am [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#47): That’s what New York’s voters respond to in Peter Russo: his refreshing candor.

  50. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    April 19th, 2013 at 8:59 am [Reply]

    @Horace Broon (#21): re: JP: I wondered, too, how Neddy planned to double her investment selling water purification systems to impoverished Africans. Preserve that trust fund, Neddy, because I don’t see you making it big in the business world.

  51. Dood
    April 19th, 2013 at 9:01 am [Reply]

    Looks like Daredevil is expelling Kingpin’s gas.

  52. pugfuggly
    April 19th, 2013 at 9:02 am [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#17):

    Do people in Ohio call white folks ‘cracker’? And isn’t it pretentious of Les to refer to himself in the third person like that?

    Hey man, Les is reclaiming the word so you can’t hurt him with it anymore! Pretentious? Cracker, please!

  53. Marc
    April 19th, 2013 at 9:07 am [Reply]

    Mark Trail- What is this family’s fascination with taking pictures of bighorn sheep? Apparently the pictures Rusty took, before getting kidnapped by plane flying poachers, just didn’t get the job done.

  54. Francis Hobbs
    April 19th, 2013 at 9:10 am [Reply]

    Mutts: SQUIRREL!

    Agnes: SQUIRREL!

    One Big Happy: SQUIRREL!

  55. Alfred E. Neuman
    April 19th, 2013 at 9:17 am [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#20) said: “@Alfred E. Neuman (#18):…- but now that you’re married, it doesn’t bother you.”

    It would if my dates were still snagging their pantyhose, but it no longer happens. My car now has an adjustable steering wheel.

  56. Herr Kommissar Denny
    April 19th, 2013 at 9:19 am [Reply]

    MW: Whew! Look’s like Tom’s dark passenger has left him for the moment. He won’t be compelled to sedate, stab, and dismember Beth (not necessarily in that order) after all — for now.

    Also, as far as double entendres go, “I’m all for going green,” is probably too obtuse to titillate. I expect better from a romance novelist. How about, “Go green, and you’ll be in the pink”?

  57. Artist formerly known as Ben
    April 19th, 2013 at 9:20 am [Reply]

    @Hibbleton (#11): That’s one thing Rex has in common with Spidey.

  58. NoahSnark
    April 19th, 2013 at 9:27 am [Reply]

    Spider sense … tingling! No wait, that’s my pants.

  59. He Brought Queenie Baby Jesus
    April 19th, 2013 at 9:30 am [Reply]

    Poor, poor businessman. Shouldn’t a man of his age and wealth know, just as you never start a land war in Asia, never start a smug-dick-off with Rex Morgan?

  60. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    April 19th, 2013 at 9:30 am [Reply]

  61. Artist formerly known as Ben
    April 19th, 2013 at 9:34 am [Reply]

    @Ratiocinator (#5):

    FW: For a half a second when I first looked at today’s strip, I thought that Les was saying “Okay, this is shit.” Which is probably is.

    That’s the kind of thought that occurs to every writer in the world. Except Les. He’s blessedly free of self-awareness.

  62. Illustrator Steve
    April 19th, 2013 at 9:35 am [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#39):
    Cool! It must have been comic book caracters night at Club 54 ™ ! Looks like they invited everyone except Rusty Trail!

  63. violet, by a mossy stone
    April 19th, 2013 at 9:36 am [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#47): ” I honestly love that in Beth’s most romantic moment so far, she looks even homelier than usual.” – Sigh.

  64. violet, by a mossy stone
    April 19th, 2013 at 9:39 am [Reply]

    @violet, by a mossy stone (#63): You could pick me out of a crowd using Beth’s picture today. Except my hair is gray.

  65. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    April 19th, 2013 at 9:39 am [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#39): *pours a 40 of lube in Dingo’s memory*

  66. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    April 19th, 2013 at 9:42 am [Reply]

    I forgot to mention it yesterday, but the latest Erfworld is a major background and info dump. including the *drumroll* [*]

  67. Lumaca Morente
    April 19th, 2013 at 9:42 am [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#52): LOL! I’m going to try to work that phrase into conversation today. “Cracker, please.” (Perhaps this will lead to people giving me crackers?)

  68. Pozzo
    April 19th, 2013 at 9:51 am [Reply]

    At least Daredevil, being blind, can fantasize that he’s being boned by someone interesting and successful.

  69. Little Guy
    April 19th, 2013 at 9:57 am [Reply]

    Luann, obligatory: Worf and Guinan approve.

    (Guinan looks at expanding phenomena in strip, suddenly, the name changes to “Oh, That Tiffany!”)

  70. bunivasal
    April 19th, 2013 at 9:59 am [Reply]

    Wait, is that Rex’s “dismay and surprise” face?

    Because it looks like he’s picturing Milton bleeding out in surgery.

  71. Herr Kommissar Denny
    April 19th, 2013 at 9:59 am [Reply]

    RxMD: I understand that institutional/workplace art is rarely great art, but black ink blobs and Sharpie squiggles? Really? If you’re going to give it that little thought, give the cancer kids some spray paint or something.

  72. RavenHawk
    April 19th, 2013 at 10:03 am [Reply]

    ASM: “Mommy. What are those two men doing over there?” “Er? Ah? Well Timmy, the first man is sick, & and the other man is pushing him to the hospital.”

  73. Cleve Barrister
    April 19th, 2013 at 10:04 am [Reply]

    JP- Since I have kids, I totally understand the “MY money” mindset of Neddie. “Excuse me? Don’t you mean MY money?” is what Abby should be saying

  74. Artist formerly known as Ben
    April 19th, 2013 at 10:05 am [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#67):

    (Perhaps this will lead to people giving me crackers?)

    How often does it work for parrots?

  75. Lumaca Morente
    April 19th, 2013 at 10:07 am [Reply]

    @Herr Kommissar Denny (#71): I think they’re just growing penicillin on the ceiling.

  76. Lumaca Morente
    April 19th, 2013 at 10:08 am [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#74): How often does it work for parrots? How often does it work for parrots? Awwwrk! How often does it work for parrots?

  77. sciencegiant
    April 19th, 2013 at 10:17 am [Reply]

    @Herr Kommissar Denny (#71): I imagine this missing panel was Milton saying: “Now help me understand these inkblots on the wall. What kind of a Rorschach test is this?”

  78. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    April 19th, 2013 at 10:19 am [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#74): the answer involves Pollynomials.

  79. Alter Ego
    April 19th, 2013 at 10:21 am [Reply]

    love is… tattoo art. Zombie girl stomping on hearts.

  80. Giggolo Asshattin'
    April 19th, 2013 at 10:22 am [Reply]

    Oh please, like Spidey would be the top.

  81. Dennis Jimenez
    April 19th, 2013 at 10:24 am [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#78): And Polyphenols – he learned about it at Pollytechnic….

  82. teenchy
    April 19th, 2013 at 10:30 am [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#43): And Spider-Man a bottom.

  83. Artist formerly known as Ben
    April 19th, 2013 at 10:30 am [Reply]

  84. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    April 19th, 2013 at 10:33 am [Reply]

  85. Herr Kommissar Denny
    April 19th, 2013 at 10:33 am [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#26): Other possibilities:

    “Once you go green, I’ll touch your peen.”
    “Once you go green, I’ll let you flick my bean.”
    “Once you go green, I’ll call you ‘Cian.’”
    “One you go green, we’ll beat up a Keane.”

    @sciencegiant (#77): “I see a colossal collapsing colon — wait that’s just your face — can you move aside, Rex?”

  86. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    April 19th, 2013 at 10:38 am [Reply]

    @Cleve Barrister (#73):

    At least we now know that 60K in a month is the minimum threshold for Abby to notice that Neddy is spending more than her allowance.

  87. Voshkod
    April 19th, 2013 at 10:42 am [Reply]

    Missing dialogue from today’s Spider-man panel: “Come on, Daredevil, we agreed on jazz hands!”

  88. Majicou
    April 19th, 2013 at 10:48 am [Reply]

    HotC: Dean doesn’t know much about tsundere.

    Pluggers: Well, when they’re right, they’re right.

  89. bats :[
    April 19th, 2013 at 10:48 am [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#46): veiled threats, schmeiled threats. Rex is a doctor: he knows these things. And what’s more, he doesn’t care!

  90. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    April 19th, 2013 at 10:51 am [Reply]

    @Majicou (#88): *must resist urge to GIMP Heart yelling “BAKA!”*

  91. bats :[
    April 19th, 2013 at 10:56 am [Reply]

    @Alter Ego (#79): good heavens! Is that all the guy Naked Chick has been with? What a slut!

  92. Poteet
    April 19th, 2013 at 10:56 am [Reply]

    RMMD — Don’t understand, don’t care.

  93. Poteet
    April 19th, 2013 at 10:57 am [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#60): Awww! Now I want to see them eat a few giant flies.

  94. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    April 19th, 2013 at 11:02 am [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#91): no, just all part of the Lifestyle.

  95. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    April 19th, 2013 at 11:07 am [Reply]

  96. Austria
    April 19th, 2013 at 11:10 am [Reply]

    BB: Is Hitler-Stache referring to Halftrack or to the cartoonist?

    FW: I thought we were done with the Lord of the Late.

    As for Spider-Man…that one’s going in the Out of Context Panels collection.

  97. Hart of Johnny
    April 19th, 2013 at 11:11 am [Reply]

    That Spider-Man panel is one of the funniest things I have ever seen on the Internet. Awesome, simply awesome.

  98. Herr Kommissar Denny
    April 19th, 2013 at 11:11 am [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#52):

    Pretentious? Cracker

    Pretentious Cracker is my new band…

    @Stoney Rockaxe (#3):

    We Have No Mouths, and We Must Scream.

    Our next album.

  99. Liam
    April 19th, 2013 at 11:13 am [Reply]

    Spiderman-No, Spidey! When being given the ass of the Daredevil lean into it.

  100. Government Cheese
    April 19th, 2013 at 11:15 am [Reply]

    MW: woo woo WOO! I’m all for going green! I just hope you don’t have trouble kissing me with my Hapsburg chin! woo woo WOO!

    MW 2: I’m all for going green! I use a variety of vegetables to pleasure myself.

    Luann: Ah, drink up kids. And FYI, we are out of toilet paper.

  101. Herr Kommissar Denny
    April 19th, 2013 at 11:17 am [Reply]

    AS-M: So much for the Spider- and radar senses.

  102. MWILF
    April 19th, 2013 at 11:17 am [Reply]

    RMMD: Rex just got served!! Boooya!

  103. Amos Snarkadder
    April 19th, 2013 at 11:18 am [Reply]

    FC: “Rain. Guess I’ll just have to tie PJ up inside. Again.

  104. Illustrator Steve
    April 19th, 2013 at 11:18 am [Reply]

    MT – Note to Mark, (the caracter, not the real one): Rather than have Wes go to the expence of flying your butt over a mountain range just to take pictures of bighorn sheep, why not just go to Google, type in “Bighorn sheep” and click on “images”? That way you won’t have to find a one hour photo store to get pictures developed, plus it allow more time for Wes to start Shelley out on her first solo bear hunting expedition!

  105. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    April 19th, 2013 at 11:27 am [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#104): *must resist urge to GIMP Shelly and hairy leathermen*

  106. Illustrator Steve
    April 19th, 2013 at 11:27 am [Reply]

    MT – “Wes? Would you mind spending another thousand bucks on aviation fuel by flying me around Slumber Mountain while I take pictures of the bighorn sheep?”

    “Not at all, Mark. Just give me a minute to get my hunting rifle. I’ve always wanted to do some bighorn hunting from my pilot seat while flying!”

    “Wooh-a! This is just like Deja Vu all over again….except for the Rusty getting kidnapped part! >sigh< I'm sorta gonna miss THAT part!"

    (Cherry): "Now, Mark…remember, you promised. No more talk of that kid while we are on vacation!"

  107. Amos Snarkadder
    April 19th, 2013 at 11:28 am [Reply]

    MT: The men folk are heading out to give the ladies some time alone, so Cherry can convince Shelley that camping in the Great Outdoors is wonderful. I sure hope this ends with Cherry singing, “Sometimes I Feel Like a Natural Woman.”

  108. jim, some guy in iowa
    April 19th, 2013 at 11:29 am [Reply]

    there’s something chilling about the blandness of heathcliff as he prepares to create furry mayhem. i think quentin tarantino ought to be locking up the rights to the heathcliff movie

  109. Illustrator Steve
    April 19th, 2013 at 11:29 am [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#105): GO FOR IT! GIMP away!! We’d LOVE to see your creativity!

  110. jim, some guy in iowa
    April 19th, 2013 at 11:30 am [Reply]

    @Amos Snarkadder (#107): would skinny dipping move mark trail into judge parker territory?

  111. Illustrator Steve
    April 19th, 2013 at 11:37 am [Reply]

    MT – @Amos Snarkadder (#107): More likely, Cherry will turn to the camera and say how soft and fresh her skin feels after using Irish Spring ™ soap after bathing in the stream. Shelly will respond with a phony Irish accent by saying, “Aye like et too!”

  112. Francis Hobbs
    April 19th, 2013 at 11:38 am [Reply]

    @jim, some guy in iowa (#110): Depends on who the dippee is…

    It IS Rusty!

  113. sally
    April 19th, 2013 at 11:38 am [Reply]

    @Stoney Rockaxe (#3):

    Oh, jeez, I remember that story! Yecchhh.

  114. Nehemiah Scudder
    April 19th, 2013 at 11:42 am [Reply]

  115. Nehemiah Scudder
    April 19th, 2013 at 11:43 am [Reply]

  116. commodorejohn
    April 19th, 2013 at 11:47 am [Reply]

    @Horace Broon (#21): That’s not a desktop box, that’s the inevitable hacked-up plywood structure for the monitor to rest on without sitting on the cables poking out of the back of the C64. Given the way modern computers are typically drawn in newspaper comics (featureless monitor-shaped objects with PET-style grid keyboards) I’m honestly astonished by the detail on display in today’s Pluggers, from the pretty good representation of the ol’ breadbox itself to actually drawing a matching 1702 monitor. I mean, geez, when did Pluggers start giving a damn?

    Man, though, I ain’t complainin’.

    But yeah, seriously, the people who still use C64s for daily computing purposes are the Pluggeriest of the Pluggers. I used to subscribe to a C64 newsletter, and nearly every paragraph in it could’ve been a Pluggers panel.

  117. commodorejohn
    April 19th, 2013 at 11:50 am [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#116): I would like to know where the 1541 disk drives are, though. Unless he’s seriously typing everything in from listings every time he wants to use it, which does seem like a Plugger thing to do.

  118. Liam
    April 19th, 2013 at 11:50 am [Reply]

    Heathcliff-Is it normal for him freeze in midair like that?

    MT-Now comes the traditional part of camping where you fly overhead to take pictures of the wildlife.

  119. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    April 19th, 2013 at 11:54 am [Reply]

    @Cleve Barrister (#73): I might well be wrong about this, but I think Neddy and Sophie both have their own money—inheritance, trust fund, or something. Isn’t that how Sophie paid to outsource her homework?

  120. Illustrator Steve
    April 19th, 2013 at 11:55 am [Reply]

    MT – ATTEN TRMT (The Real Mark Trail): I must say, Jeff. Cherry has never looked better than she does today. Too bad for Cherry that Mark would rather run off to take pictures of sheep then take a moment to look at how pretty his wife is!
    //by the way, I suddenly have this premonition of a small float plane carrying a wealthy city couple, an environmentalist and his pretty wife making an emergency landing on the summit of Slumber mountain only to be surrounded by villainous sheep killers with a blind hunting dog who steal Mark’s camera, give him $5 bucks for it and then kidnap Lisa Douglas to hold her hostage in a nearby cabin for a $2,000,000.00 ransom. …please tell me I am right!

  121. Nehemiah Scudder
    April 19th, 2013 at 11:56 am [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#91): I think she’s done pretty well for a gal with neither primary nor secondary sexual characteristics.

  122. terrapin
    April 19th, 2013 at 11:58 am [Reply]

    MT: “And by ‘take some pictures of sheep’ I mean ‘get the heck away from these silly women’!”

    RMMD: See that look on Rex Morgan’s face in panel two? That’s the look of a man who just got schooled!

    JP: So much for my big boobs=big brains theory.

  123. Illustrator Steve
    April 19th, 2013 at 12:01 pm [Reply]

    MT Panel#!: Is that float plane parked on a nearby golf course or did the lake have a massive wave of intrusive algae move in overnight??

  124. Illustrator Steve
    April 19th, 2013 at 12:04 pm [Reply]

    MT- I’ve already hit on this.. but DAMN, Cherry sure is looking good today!

    //I’d better shut up or Mark will be showing me his Fists-O-Justice ™ !

  125. Illustrator Steve
    April 19th, 2013 at 12:10 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#114): I saw that movie, but the release I saw was titled “the Shining”.

  126. Liam
    April 19th, 2013 at 12:13 pm [Reply]

    MW-This hooky environmental message is brought to you by a pamphlet that the writer had just lying around.

  127. Frank Lee Meidere
    April 19th, 2013 at 12:13 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#Y390): Ah. That’s kind of too bad. I was enjoying the image of battleships firing Volkswagen Beetles at the bad guys. “Bugs comin’ in!” the enemy would have called out at each volley.

  128. Nehemiah Scudder
    April 19th, 2013 at 12:14 pm [Reply]

    @Stoney Rockaxe (#3): Be orgulous.

  129. tallyHO
    April 19th, 2013 at 12:15 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#118):
    Heathcliff-Is it normal for him freeze in midair like that?

    The answer is here.

  130. seismic-2
    April 19th, 2013 at 12:23 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers: Bah. When I started out with computers, we used various mainframe peripherals and stand-alone hardware for copying, sorting, and re-formatting the 80-column punched cards. To make these work, you used patch cords to connect a column of input to a column of output, so that the cards would be sorted on columns 56 – 59 and then 34 – 42, etc., or so that you would generate a new deck of cards that would copy fields 1-38 and 47 – 80 but that would skip columns 39 – 46, and then you would go back and re-punch those columns to change the value of that field in the new card deck. You get the idea. Anyway, your first step was to connect the input and output columns with patch cords on the controller, so you physically wired a plugboard for each new task. In those days, to use the computer we really did have to be “Pluggers”!

  131. pugfuggly
    April 19th, 2013 at 12:26 pm [Reply]

    @Herr Kommissar Denny (#98):

    Pretentious Cracker is my new band…

    An underground electropop Skynyrd tribute band, I assume?

  132. exapno
    April 19th, 2013 at 12:30 pm [Reply]

    H&L: Actually, mom walking in might make him ‘finish’ quicker…ya know?

    Luann: Prune Juice – a Warrior’s Drink!

  133. Nehemiah Scudder
    April 19th, 2013 at 12:31 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#130): But when you programmed, did you use real ones and zeros, or lowercase ells and uppercase “O”s?

  134. Liam
    April 19th, 2013 at 12:33 pm [Reply]

    RMMD-”Congratulations, Rex. I hope that I don’t have to kill your as yet unborn child to further prove a point.”

  135. commodorejohn
    April 19th, 2013 at 12:35 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#116): Holy cripes, judging by goComics even the color-monkeys actually got things right. What mad alignment of the stars led to this much effort being expended on this strip?

  136. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    April 19th, 2013 at 12:36 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers: Would I still be a Plugger if I owned one of these C64′s? http://benheck.com/04-05-2009/commodore-64-original-hardware-laptop

  137. gnbman
    April 19th, 2013 at 12:38 pm [Reply]

    Gee thanks, Josh. Heathcliff slaughtering innocents for no reason at all, and Spider-Man and Daredevil gettin’ it on?

    Sure, I’ll enjoy my weekend.

    (Seriously, though, you have a nice weekend, too.)

  138. Baka Gaijin
    April 19th, 2013 at 12:39 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#39): Waaaah! I miss Dingo. Waaaah!

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#46) on Mary Worth: COTW contender.

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#90): What? I heard my name mentioned.

  139. Herr Kommissar Denny
    April 19th, 2013 at 12:43 pm [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#131): Not quite. We’re a three-piece, spoken-word jug band dedicated to performing traditional Appalachian ballads set to 12-tone phase-shift arrangements.

  140. Nehemiah Scudder
    April 19th, 2013 at 12:43 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#130): But seriously, Hollerith cards, IBM cards, seem so improbable today. I got in to the business at the very end of that era. I remember having to bring stacks of the things to the computer lab when I was studying COBOL — I dropped the class, thinking this is utterly bogus. I had a personal computer of my own at that time, a TI-99/4A, and I thought, punch cards? Silly! You can use cassette tapes!

    No really, if you tell kids today about Hollerith cards, they’ll think you’re one of the four Yorkshiremen, and who could blame them?

  141. Luzardo
    April 19th, 2013 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

    Spiderman

    Spiderman being a top? I can believe a teenage photographer and a blind lawyer can do acrobatics around the city to fight off criminals (or in Spidey’s case, kinda distract them until police arrives) but this is just too unbelievable.

  142. Thleen
    April 19th, 2013 at 12:49 pm [Reply]

    Man, even when Spiderman is having hot gay superhero sex, he still looks uncertain and fearful about it.

  143. Nehemiah Scudder
    April 19th, 2013 at 12:52 pm [Reply]

    @Herr Kommissar Denny (#139): Well, I’d buy that album for a dollar!

  144. Baka Gaijin
    April 19th, 2013 at 12:55 pm [Reply]

    @Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol (#136): Wow. I can imagine seeing that at Sears in 1987.

  145. Dale
    April 19th, 2013 at 12:57 pm [Reply]

    MARK TRAIL

    When was Rusty actually kidnapped? In both the sheep and bass cases, he was in private property without permission. He was captured.

    It is not always convenient to take a prisoner to civilization. Mark and some ranger-type guy left two people tied up in a forest. They assumed the prisoners would be found alive the next day. Could have been awkward, at least for the ranger.

    Was Rusty punished for being in Bassy’s truck? No. He was congratulated for cleverly dropping his camera as he tried to escape from his criminal activity.

  146. Cloudbuster
    April 19th, 2013 at 1:00 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#23): Millionaire Asshole does not realize that June telling her friend about her own pregnancy is not a HIPAA violation.

    He’s basically accusing Rex of being a lawless, irresponsible loose cannon….

    …which, when you put it that way, sure.

  147. Cloudbuster
    April 19th, 2013 at 1:02 pm [Reply]

    @Dale (#145): While I will not be advising my children to emulate Rusty Trail, I also would not want to be Rod Bassy trying to make the “citizen’s arrest of a trespasser” defense at my trial.

  148. Herr Kommissar Denny
    April 19th, 2013 at 1:03 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#143): Why, for one dollar, you can buy our complete recordings! (Do you have something that can play wax cylinders?) For two dollars and room and board, we will accompany you throughout your days and nights.

  149. Cloudbuster
    April 19th, 2013 at 1:07 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#127): Wow, now I’m picturing it. It’s kind of like the German version of kamikaze pilots. In my mental image, there’s a German stormtrooper in each Beetle, screaming “Für das vaterland!” as his vehicle arcs toward the target. *sniff* Sorry … something in my eye.

  150. Dale
    April 19th, 2013 at 1:09 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#130):

    Woe unto you, if you messed with the straight 80-80 duplication board and didn’t put it back together.

  151. seismic-2
    April 19th, 2013 at 1:10 pm [Reply]

    @Dale (#145): Are you accusing Rod Bassey of CHEATING AT KIDNAPPING???

  152. the REAL Mark Trail
    April 19th, 2013 at 1:11 pm [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#120): what can I say? Mark is dedicated to his job. Wes wears a hat which is a “tribute” to a friend of mine… he actually owns a big fedora with a zebra skinned band around it (always reminded me of a big game hunter)… and for those of you that don’t like it… don’t worry, he wont have it on much longer!

  153. Cloudbuster
    April 19th, 2013 at 1:11 pm [Reply]

  154. Cloudbuster
    April 19th, 2013 at 1:12 pm [Reply]

    @the REAL Mark Trail (#152): I am totally a fan of the hat!

  155. Nehemiah Scudder
    April 19th, 2013 at 1:13 pm [Reply]

    @Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol (#136): Goodness. I have worked in electronics all my adult life — this Ben Heck is a god.

  156. Frank Lee Meidere
    April 19th, 2013 at 1:14 pm [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#149): And because they float, any that fell into the sea could be paddled to shore. Imagine what an awe-inducing sight it would have been to see swarms of VW Beetles coming at you across the waves.

  157. Droopy Says
    April 19th, 2013 at 1:14 pm [Reply]

    @Amos Snarkadder (#107): Cherry convince Shelley that the outdoors are great? Look at the simmering resentment on her face. She is not looking forward to an afternoon of listening to Shelley whine. She is not happy to be abandoned by Weaselly and Trail, who arranged this trip for the express purpose of introducing Shelley to the great outdoors. She does not want to do the heavy lifting while the boys relax. And the thought of heavy lifting makes her hink of Mark Trail’s axe, its blade caught in a fallen tree trunk like a rustic Excalibur. One pull, one swing! That is her law. And kiling jerks is like eating peanuts. Soon campfires across the southern part of the state will resound to the tale of the ax-wielding psycho-killer from Rhododendron Lake.

    But first, Cherry needs the right look for her new role. She ducks into the tent and applies a thick layer of white make-up. And thus begins the legend of Pancake Face.

  158. Droopy Says
    April 19th, 2013 at 1:17 pm [Reply]

    @the REAL Mark Trail (#152): You mean I just called it about Cherry and the axe?

  159. Nehemiah Scudder
    April 19th, 2013 at 1:23 pm [Reply]

    @Herr Kommissar Denny (#148): For two dollars and room and board, we will accompany you throughout your days and nights.

    That kind of sounds more like a threat than a legitimate business offer. Still, a 12 tone version of “Silver Dagger” and “The Ballad of Jed Clampett” might be worth it.

  160. the REAL Mark Trail
    April 19th, 2013 at 1:30 pm [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#154): the actual hat (my friend owns) kicks ass… I’m more of a pith helmet guy myself!

    @Droopy Says (#158): Uhhh… no

  161. Herr Kommissar Denny
    April 19th, 2013 at 1:31 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#159): 12-tone phase-shift renditions of “Silver Dagger” and “The Ballad of Jed Clampett”! What do you think we are, amateurs?

  162. Freakin Hemingwad
    April 19th, 2013 at 1:35 pm [Reply]

    @the REAL Mark Trail (#152): Wait, your friend is a pimp? WHAT would Mark Trail SAY?

  163. Freakin Hemingwad
    April 19th, 2013 at 1:36 pm [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#157): So, in short – Savarna.

  164. Nehemiah Scudder
    April 19th, 2013 at 1:37 pm [Reply]

    @Herr Kommissar Denny (#161): Well, of course! That’s understood! Now, about your theremin player… I can’t abide a spoken-word jug band with a 2nd rate thereminist.

  165. Herr Kommissar Denny
    April 19th, 2013 at 1:45 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#164): Theremin? Pshhh! We’re old school — jug, spoons, and saw — that’s it! — and our saw player is phenom. She was lead soloist in Elastic Sound Sawchestra from August to October of ’08. (FYI: The spoken word is done by whichever hobotramp we come across before the gig.)

  166. Dale
    April 19th, 2013 at 1:46 pm [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#147):

    Too bad we never see any judicial proceedings in the world of MARK TRAIL.
    “Suspicion is Proof. Capture is Conviction.”
    Knox of Milford could beat some of the never-seen charges.

    Was Bassy disqualified from the tournament? Mark never had anything like proof.

  167. Peanut Gallery
    April 19th, 2013 at 1:52 pm [Reply]

    @Mr. O’Malley (#Y375):

    some veterans told me they used to put an AM radio next to the CPU, and they could tell by the sound what it was doing. Very obvious if it got into an infinite loop. You might be able to do something similar with an iPad…

    I used to do that with my Commodore 64. (Or maybe it was the Timex/Sinclair.) But I suspect that FCC regulations have been tightened up to the point where modern computing devices don’t produce much radio noise.

    Tom Ellard of Severed Heads recorded a piece called “Dance” using that technology (as he explained in an interview):

    “Dance” is based on a TRS-80 home computer which was made before there were rules about RF interference. If you ran a series of instruction loops in BASIC you could broadcast primitive music around the whole neighbourhood and Dance is part of a recording I made with a radio placed near the machine, changing the tuning every now and then to alter the timbre.

    You can hear the result here. I would have preferred more variation!

  168. Peanut Gallery
    April 19th, 2013 at 1:53 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#Y415): Mmmmm… A bowl of Froot Loops, an everything bagel, and a couple of hot glazed Krispy Kremes. The Holey Trinity.

  169. Herr Kommissar Denny
    April 19th, 2013 at 1:54 pm [Reply]

    @Dale (#166):

    Was Bassy disqualified from the tournament?

    If by “disqualified” you mean “disappeared,” then yes.

  170. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    April 19th, 2013 at 1:58 pm [Reply]

  171. GingerJohnson
    April 19th, 2013 at 2:01 pm [Reply]

    That S-M panel is a bird’s eye view, with Daredevil mounted on a reclining Spider-Man. Because let’s face it: Spider-Man just laying around, letting Daredevil do all the work, is pretty much par for the course.

  172. Herr Kommissar Denny
    April 19th, 2013 at 2:05 pm [Reply]

    @GingerJohnson (#171): No surprise that DD is a power bottom (except for him being raised a devout Cath– wait, no surprise), but what the hell is Spider-Man? Power or service, one still has to do stuff…

  173. Liam
    April 19th, 2013 at 2:06 pm [Reply]

    Garfield-It’ll be funnier if he doesn’t get up again.

  174. Nehemiah Scudder
    April 19th, 2013 at 2:08 pm [Reply]

  175. Remington Arms
    April 19th, 2013 at 2:13 pm [Reply]

    Garfield – Did someone say ‘Pull!’ ? Righteous shoot there – better than any clay pigeon. See us @ http://www.cabelas.com.

  176. Remington Arms
    April 19th, 2013 at 2:15 pm [Reply]

    Garfield , Heathcliff, wtf? If it moves we shoot.

  177. bad lynn
    April 19th, 2013 at 2:16 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#164): Theramin? (hopefully)

  178. Rocky Stoneaxe
    April 19th, 2013 at 2:20 pm [Reply]

    @Yuliiywti (#174): Ubiraysya! (“Bugger off!” in Russian)

  179. Nehemiah Scudder
    April 19th, 2013 at 2:21 pm [Reply]

    @bad lynn (#178): No. With an “e”. As:

    Bad Lynn is not too thin,
    Nor yet is she too stout,
    She likes to play the theremin,
    And madly dance about;

    And madly dance about the shore,
    With Siebert or Camus;
    She says, “Albert is such a bore,
    But what’s a gal to do?”

    “What’s a gal to do?” says she,
    “They remind me both of Dave,
    For that is life’s brutality,
    To Love, I am a slave!”

    “To Love, I am a slave!” Lynn said,
    “The theremin I’ll instruct,
    The elements from “a” to “zed”
    For a trifling usufruct.”

    “A trifling usufruct,” she avers,
    “And for clergy even less,
    I’m a sucker for a gent who wears
    Ecclesiastical dress.”

    “Ecclesiastical dress,” says Lynn,
    “Is fine, but when it is removed,
    While dancing to my theremin,
    The view is much improved.”

  180. Peanut Gallery
    April 19th, 2013 at 2:23 pm [Reply]

    @Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol (#136): That’s a work of mad genius.

  181. commodorejohn
    April 19th, 2013 at 2:25 pm [Reply]

  182. Droopy Says
    April 19th, 2013 at 2:27 pm [Reply]

    @the REAL Mark Trail (#160): No? Ah, well. Maybe Cherry can tell Rusty the Pancake Face story anyway. That ought to cure his urge to go fishing! Seriously, great work on Cherry’s expression today.

  183. Peanut Gallery
    April 19th, 2013 at 2:29 pm [Reply]

    @Herr Kommissar Denny (#165): That should work. The musical saw is essentially an acoustic theremin.

  184. bad lynn
    April 19th, 2013 at 2:30 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#180): Sigh. Oh, sigh. Those were the good old days. But I must anon. Farewell. Persephone and I were having a tea.

  185. Nehemiah Scudder
    April 19th, 2013 at 2:30 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#182): Thank you. I did post it before, but I’m rather proud of that one.

  186. Dennis Jimenez
    April 19th, 2013 at 2:32 pm [Reply]

    HEY JOSH – Nanny Information Protruding (into) Peoples Affairs = NIPPA – Sam Driver – crack legal ace from Judge Parker turned me on to it….

  187. jim, some guy in iowa
    April 19th, 2013 at 2:33 pm [Reply]

    @Freakin Hemingwad (#162): “cherry? would you to look up a word for me on the urban dictionary, please!”

  188. Herr Kommissar Denny
    April 19th, 2013 at 2:34 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#179): I’m pretty sure Yuliiywti was the Africanized Ylang-Ylang, the phonemes of whose language were transliterated as question-marks.

    ???????? ????????? ???? ?????????????

    BWAH! Good one, Yuliiywti!

  189. Calico
    April 19th, 2013 at 2:34 pm [Reply]

    @Marc (#9):
    I wondered that myself. What is he doing back there?
    Love Lois’s look of shock and horror.

  190. Liam
    April 19th, 2013 at 2:35 pm [Reply]

    Spiderman-Stop clenching, Daredevil.

  191. Nehemiah Scudder
    April 19th, 2013 at 2:40 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#184): And vice versa.

  192. Freakin Hemingwad
    April 19th, 2013 at 2:45 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#191): What are you, a life coach?

  193. Calico
    April 19th, 2013 at 2:46 pm [Reply]

    Spider-lube, Spider lube
    Looks like you need a brand new tube

  194. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    April 19th, 2013 at 2:48 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#156): The floating part of VW bugs was always, I thought, one of their most charming features. Luckily I never had to put mine to that test, but I loved that it was possible.

  195. Freakin Hemingwad
    April 19th, 2013 at 2:49 pm [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#195): You and Ted Kennedy.
    //old enough to remember?

  196. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    April 19th, 2013 at 2:52 pm [Reply]

    Today’s Spiderman raises an uncomfortable question in my mind, one which I had blissfully never thought to ask until now…

    How, exactly, do these guys in their full-body spandex suits um, relieve themselves? Are there little zippers cleverly hidden? Or what? Do they normally just hold it in?

  197. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    April 19th, 2013 at 2:52 pm [Reply]

    @Freakin Hemingwad (#196): Old enough to have read about, in any case. (I was born in 1970.)

  198. Ratiocinator
    April 19th, 2013 at 2:56 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#46):

    Garfield: Sorry, Jon, you won’t get a publishing deal off of it. You don’t have the right lineage.

    At first I didn’t get it, but then I remembered this Judge Parker. As Josh will soon say about a number of comments, possibly including this one: very funny! :D

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#50): I think, though I may be wrong, that Thalia said something about getting a contract to sell a lot of the purifiers to the U.N., who would then worry about putting them to good use. So I guess that’s what would net Neddy additional money to swim around in, after she goes right back to ignoring the existence of any and all poor people.

    Seriously, back when it seemed Neddy was doing this out of the goodness of her heart I liked her, and even if she did it because she thought “Hmm, I can improve the lives of poor Africans and in the long run it won’t cost me anything,” I’d still like her, but if she was just thinking “I have so much money, but it would be even better if I had MORE money, and what’s that Thalia? You can make me more money, if I give you some of the money I already have? DEAL! Yeah yeah, dehydration, pestilence, blah blah blah, tell somebody who cares,” then I’m gonna start snarking on this strip for the same reasons I snark on 9 Chickweed Lane. Which is to say I’m gonna stop doing it affectionately and start doing it spitefully.

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#83): I second that. Comment(s) by queek for Comment Of The Week!

  199. Freakin Hemingwad
    April 19th, 2013 at 2:56 pm [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#197): I’m guessing the spandex is permeable.

  200. Nehemiah Scudder
    April 19th, 2013 at 2:59 pm [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#198): So you are in your extremely late thirties as well!

    // Perhaps not so extreme as I, but welcome to the club!

  201. seismic-2
    April 19th, 2013 at 2:59 pm [Reply]

    @Freakin Hemingwad (#196): Wasn’t the ad “If Ted Kennedy had been driving a Volkswagen, he would be President now” a National Lampoon parody that so closely resembled the real floating-Volkswagen ads that people thought it in fact was one? That’s kind of how I remember it, but the truth vs. legend dichotomy in the portion of my brain that spans those particular years has long since atrophied.

  202. Nehemiah Scudder
    April 19th, 2013 at 3:01 pm [Reply]

    @Ratiocinator (#199): Which is to say I’m gonna stop doing it affectionately and start doing it spitefully.

    I am so proud to be part of this community! No, really. I love it.

  203. Freakin Hemingwad
    April 19th, 2013 at 3:07 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#202): Yes, that was burned into my brain. My older sibs got the Lampoon, and I always managed to find it and read it. I’m thinking I was twelve. Stilll remember their ‘Archie’ parody.

  204. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    April 19th, 2013 at 3:16 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#201): There is a three in my age somewhere, yes… ;)

  205. Notebooked
    April 19th, 2013 at 3:19 pm [Reply]

    The Amazing Rider-Man: This seems like the one situation you wouldn’t want speed lines in.

  206. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    April 19th, 2013 at 3:21 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#167): Don’t be so sure about that. There’s a project I’m getting involved in soon that involves deliberately using a Raspberri Pi’s GPIO outputs to generate radio signals. (https://github.com/threeme3/WsprryPi) In fact, most folks I know use the RasPi as a simple computer without any RF shielding whatsoever (drives up the cost).

  207. Liam
    April 19th, 2013 at 3:24 pm [Reply]

    MT-You’ve somehow magically traveled back to the 1950s where cell phones have yet to be invented. In your time that area is a suburban neighborhood. You are camping in what will be the food court of the Lost Forest Mall.

  208. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    April 19th, 2013 at 3:24 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#181): No, Ben’s Atari 800 laptop is the work of a mad genius. (http://benheck.com/Games/Atari_800/Atari_800_laptop_1.htm) Some consider his C64 laptop one of his more boring works.

  209. Ratiocinator
    April 19th, 2013 at 3:25 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#138):

    What? I heard my name mentioned.

    Technically it was only half of your name. Have you ever been to Japan, and assumed people were talking about you every time they said something or somebody was “Baka”? Don’t be so hard on yourself, dude. You’re less baka than you think, IMHO. (Although I could be baka too, in which case I would be nowhere near intelligent enough to judge such things.)

    @Cloudbuster (#146): You know, if Rex’s regular patients are comprised mostly of pains in the ass like Milton and that jerkass old lady whose name escapes me at this time, I actually feel a little sorry for him. If I had to deal with people like that every day, I’d probably turn into a surly dickhead too.

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#197):

    How, exactly, do these guys in their full-body spandex suits um, relieve themselves?

    I actually remember reading comics where superheroes who wore costumes like Spidey’s and DD’s were seen shirtless, wearing only the bottom half of their costume. So it’s a two piece thing (not counting masks and boots), and I guess they could just pull down the waistband of the front.

  210. Freakin Hemingwad
    April 19th, 2013 at 3:31 pm [Reply]

    @Ratiocinator (#210): “I actually remember reading comics where superheroes who wore costumes like Spidey’s and DD’s were seen shirtless,…” How about gladiator movies? Did you like gladiator movies?

  211. LanceThruster
    April 19th, 2013 at 3:36 pm [Reply]

    SM – You mean there’s an ulterior motive to superheroes wearing form-fitting spandex that look like jammies?

  212. Illustrator Steve
    April 19th, 2013 at 3:37 pm [Reply]

    @the REAL Mark Trail (#152): I like the hat, but it’s the tiger skin hat band that seems to attract comments. Maybe you should have used a zebra band like your friend’s hat has. I, myself, have two fedoras I occasionally wear when driving our old Model A Ford in a parade. (No, I don’t wear them both at the same time!)

    //so…what happens to the hat? Does Wes lose it in the plane crash, only for it to be found later by a tearfull Shelley? …Damn, I should write stories for you! …as long as there’s, of course, a spellcheck for me to use.

  213. Illustrator Steve
    April 19th, 2013 at 3:41 pm [Reply]

    @Dale (#145): ….You know, you raise a good point. You must be a lawyer…criminal defense attorney maybe?.

  214. Illustrator Steve
    April 19th, 2013 at 3:46 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#170): One thing certain….THAT’S NOT RUSTY!

  215. Freakin Hemingwad
    April 19th, 2013 at 3:55 pm [Reply]

    @Notebooked (#206): Oh, those are speed lines? that’s right, stink lines are wavy.

  216. Illustrator Steve
    April 19th, 2013 at 3:58 pm [Reply]

    MT I just now noticed that blood sucking worm leech on Wes’ cheek. Wes should CHECK HIS AREA closer after being in the water!

    //…Say, have I mentioned that Cherry looks HOT today? HUBBA-HUBBA!!!

  217. Ratiocinator
    April 19th, 2013 at 4:08 pm [Reply]

    @Freakin Hemingwad (#211): Nah, not enough spandex.

  218. Baka Gaijin
    April 19th, 2013 at 4:12 pm [Reply]

    @the REAL Mark Trail (#152): Are you alluding to a trebuchet? A trebuchet can brighten up almost any storyline.

    @Calico (#194): Ah ha ha HA!

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#197): Like scuba divers, they just let go in the suit and wash it out later.

    @Ratiocinator (#210) on me: Only on this board do my ears prick up at that word. No one ever called me “baka” or “baka gaijin” when I lived in Japan. Then again, being built more like a sumo than a salaryman, I didn’t get grief from anyone.

  219. Baka Gaijin
    April 19th, 2013 at 4:29 pm [Reply]

    The final panel of Spiderman. He is the Eggman, John Lennon is not.

    I predict Beth Kinley will turn green when she sees Tom’s gherkin.

    Pluggers would kill for an app to show them the nearest 6 toilets, that is if they could overcome their distrust of modern technology.

    Slylock Mystery: Jessica Rabbit accuses a now-fat Reeky Rat of gobbling all of Jessica Rabbit’s Twinkies and Doritos stash. What evidence does Slylock see to prove Reeky’s guilt? Answer: Purple glass skull bong with righteous buds sitting on the coffee table.

  220. ralph
    April 19th, 2013 at 4:41 pm [Reply]

    H & L: I guess Chip’s head is supposed to be that one lump under the covers. Doesn’t leave much room for a full-sized boy apparently engaged in an illicit act. A better line would be “Can it wait until I’m finished.?”
    9CL: A comment usually heard when there are two people in the car.
    SM: Sexual, yes. Erotic, no.
    JP and MW: General statement. Apparently JP is intended to make us envious of the “beautiful people”, while MW is intended to make us feel superior to its cardboard people with their wretched lives.
    FC: The poster near the beginning may have something. Dolly does look like she’s intending to use that rope, and whatsisname doesn’t look too happy. So if Dolly hung the kid, naturally they’d take her away, and then there’d only be two of the fat little twits. Certainly getting rid of Dolly would improve the looks of the panel. Getting rid of the panel would improve the looks of the newspaper.

  221. The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan
    April 19th, 2013 at 4:55 pm [Reply]

    The Amazing Spider-Man: Well, Kingpin, you see, when one superhero loves another…

    Apt. 3-G: Look at that tuxedo! It is a thing of magnificence. It is so lovingly and realistically detailed that you can almost feel its heady combination of heavy cotton drape, velvet, mysterious stains, Old Spice and failure. It probably comes with a pipe and tobacco in at least one pocket and a full glass of champagne in the other. No wonder Margo is so confident! She talked to the governor’s ring-a-ding-ding jacket weeks ago and it agreed to fix the “contest” for a couple of lottery tickets and a handjob at a date to be determined later, but soon, baby, soon.

    Overheard at the Snuffy Smith mobile command center: “Fuck! We need a strip for today! Fuck fuck fuck!! We’ve done all our drunken incest jokes! What else do we have around here?” (Rifling through old files) “1986, 1992…Chechnya? Wait, James Brown! This is perfect!”

    If there’s an official Beetle Bailey Twitter feed, it’s pretty well hidden.

    9 Chickweed Lane: I’m fairly sure today’s episode is a metaphor for the strip itself: it’s a pretension shrouded inside a sex joke wrapped in a lame setup. Guarded by a big dumb repressed blonde guy. That’s what Winston Churchill says anyway, according to Brainyquote.

    The Family Circus: I sure hope those clouds aren’t thinkin’ about raining on us, because I have hanging to do, know what I mean, PJ?

    Judge Parker: By the way Neddy’s holding that pillow, I’d say she’s heard the jokes we’ve been making about her this past week or two. Or eight.

    The Lockhorns: Fun fact: the Wage and Hour Division last calculated “chump change” in 1969. Since it hasn’t been adjusted for inflation since, its worth has fallen far below sustainability. These days, the only people willing to work as chumps are unpaid interns, undocumented workers, Leroy, and other poor saps who can’t afford “humor.”

    Mark Trail: Sad, pouty face is sad (and pouty)! Lady, I’m thinking that you can’t get cell reception a)because you’re speaking into your makeup kit, not an iPhone, b)you’re apparently standing under the Graf Zeppelin, and c)because you’re in MARK FREAKING TRAIL, where the men are men, the women are women, the birds and the fish are enormous, Rusty’s whatever the hell Rusty is, and cellphones have facial hair.

  222. Mr K Martin
    April 19th, 2013 at 4:55 pm [Reply]

    AMAZING SPIDER GUY: A new phrase should now be added to the lexicon of every informed sex therapist: “Doin’ it Spider-style”.

  223. seismic-2
    April 19th, 2013 at 5:01 pm [Reply]

    A3G: From now on, the announcement of COTW somehow just won’t seem so dramatic without Governor Pete Russo’s giving it his big count-down. Josh, you do at least wear a tuxedo when you make the meta-post, don’t you? If not, can you hire James Bond to do it for you?

  224. Dale
    April 19th, 2013 at 5:02 pm [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#214):

    I’m sure I’m not a lawyer. Would I have to tell you if I were one? Probably not.

    What bothers me about MARK TRAIL style law enforcement is that it operates like old cowboy movies. Capture the bad guys and turn them over to the sheriff. Case closed.
    Even Dragnet when through the pretense of a trail.
    “A trial was held in and for the county of Los Angeles. In a moment the results of that trial. … The fuckers were all found guilty.”

  225. Alison
    April 19th, 2013 at 5:04 pm [Reply]

    “Mary Worth”: I like Beth’s seductive gaze in the last panel. “I’m all for going green, especially with you, you gorgeous hunk of man. Let me carpool with you, oh, baby, yeah.”

    Also, today is the first time I will say it’s a good thing that everybody in MW is stuck in some alternative world without any cell phones, because otherwise evil Elinor would no doubt be texting Beth right about now. “Got sick again. U better not b out with a man. Room is growing dark. Going 2 die if u don’t come home now. Mother.”

    “Luann”: Luann’s parents are such morons. Who offers prune juice as a celebration? Or is this supposed to be passive-aggressive, hinting that they still don’t like Toni and don’t think she’s worth anything better than prune juice? Either way, no wonder Brad and Luann turned out the way they did.

  226. Mikey
    April 19th, 2013 at 5:12 pm [Reply]

    MT- Geez Mark, I like that ‘Swinger Code’ in panel three… Wes: “Boy Howdy! I’m on it!! How many of them fancy jpegs shpould we take of that ‘Bighorn Sheep’ up ‘tween the Mountains’?

  227. Peanut Gallery
    April 19th, 2013 at 5:13 pm [Reply]

    @Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol (#207): Cool! And here I was, thinking that Raspberry Pi was the math-nerd schoolmate of Strawberry Shortcake.

  228. Mikey
    April 19th, 2013 at 5:20 pm [Reply]

    MW- Oh sorry, I was going to a DIFFERENT supermarket. But can I pick up some onions or bath salts for your mother? She seems like a gal I could get into.!

  229. Mikey
    April 19th, 2013 at 5:25 pm [Reply]

    @Alison (#226): “Remember when you toasted our marriage with prune juice and then a couple years later I shat out B-Wad and Luann?? Ha ha! That was awesome!! But seriously, I’m expecting MUCH worse with these two ..althouh I still think she has a dick so we may not not need to worry. Whatev…Cheers!”

  230. tallyHO
    April 19th, 2013 at 5:32 pm [Reply]

    Is there gonna be a COTW post? Did Friday cease to be the end of the week?

  231. tallyHO
    April 19th, 2013 at 6:29 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#231):

    Pardon me. I should have typed “the end of the snarkweek and the beginning of the snark weekend.

  232. Nehemiah Scudder
    April 19th, 2013 at 6:31 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#232): I think Jeff is just waiting on you to say something really witty. Come on, man, try again!

  233. seismic-2
    April 19th, 2013 at 6:36 pm [Reply]

    The talk about Russian scientist Leon Theremin is prescient, since his comic book is just now available for purchase.

  234. Nehemiah Scudder
    April 19th, 2013 at 6:39 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#233): Josh, I meant. Josh!

  235. commodorejohn
    April 19th, 2013 at 6:45 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#234): How convenient for the author that the internal monologue of a Russian inventor from the 1920s is completely indistinguishable from that of every Frank Miller wannabe the industry has ever produced.

  236. seismic-2
    April 19th, 2013 at 6:50 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#236): Yep, that Leon Theremin would have made a great Daredevil, no doubt about it.

  237. tallyHO
    April 19th, 2013 at 7:22 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#233):

    Walp! If Jeff Josh is waiting on me to write something witty…on a Friday afternoon, with me not even having made a grand appearance at a Happy Hour, and, before I roll my twelve-sided die to see what ribald forms of wit I should muster upon cross-referencing my Mark Twain Survival Guide For City Folk Who Miss Brunch at the Bistro and the Women Who Love Them
    and my Slylock Fox’s Guide for Solving Mysteries Without Uttering a Word (featuring the “Mystery of the Alphabet Cow and the Milk of Life”)…

    geez louise! He’s gonna be waiting ’til next week if that is the cause for the pause!

    //haha! that was almost a sentence!

  238. The Ridger
    April 19th, 2013 at 7:22 pm [Reply]

    @Ratiocinator (#199): There’s still hope that Neddy’s only saying that to avoid giving Abby a heart attack…

  239. Crankshafts funky smelling corpse
    April 19th, 2013 at 7:39 pm [Reply]

    ASM: The ambiguously gay duo.

    Bigporn: Brooke confused himself, so he started the story over again.

    9CL: What was she doing to that steering wheel?

  240. Sgt. Stoned
    April 19th, 2013 at 9:27 pm [Reply]

    S-M (or is it S&M?): Squeal like a pig.

  241. beyond graduation
    May 1st, 2013 at 8:53 pm [Reply]

    I’m impressed, I must say. Really rarely do I encounter a blog that’s both educative and entertaining, and let me tell you, you have hit the nail on the head. Your idea is outstanding; the issue is something that not enough people are speaking intelligently about. I am very happy that I stumbled across this in my search for something relating to this.

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