The Comics Curmudgeon

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When the student is ready, the terrifying brunette will appear

Apartment 3-G, 10/21/08

It looks like Apartment 3-G, having made drug abuse and murder bland and vaguely boring, is about to do the same for China’s meddling in Tibetan monastic politics. Remember how Eric was supposed to be rescuing his brother from some combination Tibetan temple/hospital/Chinese prison thingy in Lhasa, or something? Apparently he took this Lodi character instead, which we may or may not have been told at the time? Lodi, I am assuming, is a stand-in for Gedhun Choekyi Nyima, who was chosen as Panchen Lama as a child with the Dalai Lama’s blessing; he and his family were taken out of Tibet by the Chinese government and haven’t been seen since, while the government has nominated its own candidate for the post. Gedhun/Lodi seems to be none the worse for wear for his time as a political prisoner, having learned valuable English and hiking skills. The question is, can he retain his sense of detachment from desire and suffering upon encountering the ultimate threat to any holy man: Margo Magee?

Family Circus, 10/21/08

It’s obviously unsettling that the Keanes have some kind of gargantuan microwave that can heat up an entire full-sized pizza, though that may explain why Billy thinks that nuking food qualifies as “making” it. Poor Jeffy is once again stuck with the being-baffled-by-everyday-slang role usually reserved for comical foreigners, robots and aliens, and dorky white dudes. But what really gets me about this cartoon is the drooping tip of Billy’s pizza. I imagine that he’s gesticulating with the slice, the tip flopping up and down as he does so, grease splattering everywhere. I think that it would be pretty hypnotic to watch; no doubt that’s what Mommy is focusing on, which is why she looks so beatific despite being surrounded by morons.

Luann, 10/21/08

“I mean, Toni never talks about him, but he hangs around in my mind … brawny … vaguely threatening … half-dressed…”

Mary Worth, 10/21/08

Oh, Dr. Jeff, always so bad at strategy. If you’re going to try to escape Mary’s clutches, you don’t announce it. You just leave town the minute she walks out the door. You can set her condo on fire on your way out if it would make you feel better.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 10/21/08

Ha ha, Rex is grinding something! Get it, because … ha ha … grinding … oh, what’s the use.

Based on Sarah’s weird, distorted face in the final panel, I’m guessing the wind is so strong and the boats are tilting because they’ve accidentally wandered into a nuclear weapons test site. Soon everyone will be killed in a ball of flame, which will at least alleviate the boredom of watching a sailboat race.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, October 21, 2008 at 05:48 pm and is filed under Apartment 3-G, Family Circus, Luann, Mary Worth, Rex Morgan, M.D.. |

218 responses to “When the student is ready, the terrifying brunette will appear”

Liverboy
October 21st, 2008 at 5:52 pm [Reply]

Again we see that no one in the Luann universe is able to eat anything without having partially chewed chunks of it fall out of their mouth. Luann spilling her drink from wild gesticulation is also a nice touch. These people are animals.
Mars
October 21st, 2008 at 5:56 pm [Reply]

Non-Sequitur: Danae says “It just seems to be there would be no problems if everybody just did things MY way.”

That sums up every strip Wiley Miller has ever made right there.
One-eyed Wolfdog
October 21st, 2008 at 5:57 pm [Reply]

“This pizza you made is the shit, mommy!”
“No it isn’t! I saw her flush!”
One-eyed Wolfdog
October 21st, 2008 at 5:59 pm [Reply]

Earlier today I was making fun of Marvin for shit jokes. Ah, well.
Idols of Mud
October 21st, 2008 at 6:02 pm [Reply]

My god, when did Mary Worth become the abode of the undead? Mary, the funeral make-up still fresh on her face, gazes blankly as Jeff vainly struggles to remember the taste of food. Soon they will lurk out into the sunlight, their unsolicited advice an ungodly gurgle in their throats forcing Toby to shotgun them both.
ring around the collar
October 21st, 2008 at 6:04 pm [Reply]

Watching a sailboat race: boring. Watching boring people who are watching a sailboat race: thrilling excitement, Rex Morgan Style!!!
One-eyed Wolfdog
October 21st, 2008 at 6:06 pm [Reply]

…but not before she wipes her chin, daintily, on a square foot of human flesh cut from the back of a living priest and tanned in battery acid and Aldo’s blood.
One-eyed Wolfdog
October 21st, 2008 at 6:07 pm [Reply]

(Can one lurk into something? Lurk in a particular direction? This is intriguing usage. Well, if anyone can do it, I’m sure WonderMary can.)
Naked Bunny with a Whip
October 21st, 2008 at 6:09 pm [Reply]

FC: Hey, Thel is flying!

(This DFC flashback brought to you courtesy of NBwaW Incorporated. “We’re Beatrice.”)
Idols of Mud
October 21st, 2008 at 6:10 pm [Reply]

@Wolf-Dog (#9): I should have said “Lurch.” But yeah, undead Aldo would be awesome.
Li’l Bunnë FooFoo
October 21st, 2008 at 6:13 pm [Reply]

I see that the Google ad for this page is something about Tibet. How topical! Three days ago, when we were all talking about sexing kittens, I was really curious about what the Google ad would display — but for some reason, for me, that ad was always blank. (I even went back and checked — still no ad for Sunday.) Damn you Google Ads! I was so looking forward to see what would appear. Oh well.
Li’l Bunnë FooFoo
October 21st, 2008 at 6:15 pm [Reply]

RMMD – When I was a child we used to watch sailboat racing. I used to make that same face, because it was windy and I had the mumps.
shadowfax
October 21st, 2008 at 6:18 pm [Reply]

“Grinding.” Heh. I didn’t even make it past the first panel. And I am soo glad.
PeteMoss
October 21st, 2008 at 6:20 pm [Reply]

A3G
Oh, Lord! Stuck with Lodi, again!
boojum
October 21st, 2008 at 6:21 pm [Reply]

Josh : Yeah, we were told about the “young lama” — August 14-16. An absurdly short time for such a dramatic plot shift. But we had to rush back to New York, to discover that LuAnne was… uh, not going to South Dakota. Or something.
PeteMoss
October 21st, 2008 at 6:26 pm [Reply]

MW – I don’t know which is more frigtening, Mary’s Zombie, brain-eater stare in panel one, or that sliced clump of flesh-matter sitting on a platter in panel 2. This strip is going all out for Halloween this year!
Mibbitmaker
October 21st, 2008 at 6:27 pm [Reply]

(Apologies for any repeat snark)

MW: Don’t forget what happened the last time Jeff went to Vietnam (dun-dun-dunnnnnnnn!) A ghost by the initials “A.K.” is restless tonight!

RMMD: The kid is just watching a boat race….. from dry land… and she’s obviously getting sea sick. Then again, maybe she’s on the verge of vomiting because she’s in RMMD. (Those last italics courtesy of either Norm MacDonald or Seth Meyer, I’m not sure)
Aging Hipster
October 21st, 2008 at 6:29 pm [Reply]

Apparently, the wind is no match for June’s hair-do.
Sluggirl
October 21st, 2008 at 6:37 pm [Reply]

Surprised that no one thought it odd that Rex is grinding a wench and that June doesn’t seem the least bit jealous… Oh, wait — never mind…
Amateur
October 21st, 2008 at 6:48 pm [Reply]

MW: Am I the only one puzzled over the fact that “Drew” in the first panel is “my boy” in the second panel? Did he think Mary forget who Drew was?
Amateur
October 21st, 2008 at 6:49 pm [Reply]

Oops — “forgot.”
Erik
October 21st, 2008 at 6:51 pm [Reply]

I’m still not entirely sure as to why Luann is so obsessed with the status of Brad’s relationships. The only reason I can think of is that her parents have made a rule stating that Luann can only get laid if Brad has.
Shermy Glamrocker
October 21st, 2008 at 6:52 pm [Reply]

MW: “How did he sound?”

Jeff: “Like he’s been on a three-month heroin-and-underage-boys binge. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, does it?”
Mibbitmaker
October 21st, 2008 at 6:54 pm [Reply]

#17:

……or……..

RMMD: The kid is just watching a boat race….. from dry land… and she’s obviously getting sea sick. Then again, maybe she’s on the verge of vomiting because she’s in Rex Morgan, M.D.

…….just in case……
Mike P
October 21st, 2008 at 6:56 pm [Reply]

Is Mister Hardbody a nickname only Brad uses for this Todd Newman guy? If so, I’m not surprised.
Hibbleton
October 21st, 2008 at 6:57 pm [Reply]

Will someone give Brad a good kick in the ass for me. He’s acting like a self-absorbed, namby-pamby, whiney, little momma’s boy. He’s already passed TJ at light speed on the annoying scale.
Rusty
October 21st, 2008 at 6:58 pm [Reply]

A3G; Hiking the Himalayas in windbreakers? Kudos to you, gentlemen. You are truly zen masters.
Mimi Pickwick
October 21st, 2008 at 7:03 pm [Reply]

FC:

I think I have figured out what the hell is wrong with the Keane children. They are not dimwits to be laughed at, but rather noble sufferers of a tragic birth defect: Megalencephaly, a neural tube anomaly that causes children to be born with huge but poorly functioning brains.

http://my.clevelandclinic.org/disorders/megalencephaly/hic_megalencephaly.aspx

Shame on you all for making fun of children with special needs! Shame!
Just an Anon.
October 21st, 2008 at 7:10 pm [Reply]

A long time reader of the Comics Curmudgeon here (and probably one of the youngest, too.)

I just wanted to use this time to say: thanks to this website, I was able to write and recite a 2 1/2 page paper in spanish today aboout how to write a newspaper comic, complete with examples of Pluggers and Beetle Bailey. (Like: chistes de tecnologia, de los ninos o de cosas del siglo veinte y uno son mejores.)

I’m hoping for an A plusplusplus.
Bryan
October 21st, 2008 at 7:16 pm [Reply]

Weren’t Rex Morgan, MD and June Morgan, RN going to take a cruise together at some point? What happened to that? I don’t give a tinker’s damn about some withered old clam’s boat race. I want to see June sunning herself in a bikini. (stomps little foot and pouts)
BigTed
October 21st, 2008 at 7:19 pm [Reply]

“Look, Daddy’s grinding on something.”
“That’s a winch, dear.”
“Gosh, Mommy — I don’t think Mrs. Foster’s that bad.”
Amateur
October 21st, 2008 at 7:21 pm [Reply]

#29 Just an Anon. — best of luck to you!
Evan Schenck
October 21st, 2008 at 7:24 pm [Reply]

Is it just me, or does Sarah look really puffy in the last panel of Rex Morgan? Her left cheek is misshapen and her eyes are almost forced shut by the swelling. Either she’s allergic to the boat-show PB&J or June’s been relieving her sexual frustration with some hearty child abuse. I lean toward the latter; what better target for rage induced by a neglectful husband than the product of the only time you ever had sex with him?
commodorejohn
October 21st, 2008 at 7:34 pm [Reply]

#27 Rusty – Actually, I’m coming to believe that Apartment 3-G is actually a show-within a show, and the scenes supposedly set in Tibet are being filmed in Bronson Canyon. Which means that, if anything, they’re overdressed.
Islamorada Girl
October 21st, 2008 at 7:36 pm [Reply]

RMMD: Maybe Widdle Sawa is doing her Castor and Pollux imitation. She’s just that bored.

What?
Buck Ripsnort
October 21st, 2008 at 7:40 pm [Reply]

It seemed like Luann showed us every minute of that excruciating photoshoot last week, and I never saw any Todd Newman or “Mister Hardbody” or nuthin’. Does this guy exist ONLY in Brad’s homoerotic imagination?
Mooncattie
October 21st, 2008 at 7:45 pm [Reply]

RMMD -
June: Can you see Daddy’s boat, honey?
Sarah: Nah, there’s too much fucking water!
Director: CUT! CUT! Listen, can we please stick to the script?
June: (aside) Give him the stink-eye, dear. You’ve earned it.
ESJ
October 21st, 2008 at 7:47 pm [Reply]

I think that by making a sailboat race part of the plot, “Rex Morgan, M.D.” has joined the worldwide hunt for something less interesting than “Rex Morgan, M.D.” I wouldn’t be surprised if this week ends with Rex explaining the difference between different types of knots and how that knowledge helped him win.
Patrick
October 21st, 2008 at 7:47 pm [Reply]

“He’s grinding something!”

“That’s a wench, honey. They’re often found on sailboats, or at least on the docks.”
indichik
October 21st, 2008 at 7:49 pm [Reply]

#1, Liverboy: I haven’t seen that much food fly out of a comics character’s mouth since FOOB.

FC: Maybe Jeffy was actually calling out both his mother’s (possibly whiskey-induced) laziness in serving them lukewarm microwaved pizza for dinner, and his brother’s blind willingness to be persuaded into thinking it’s “cool.”
Red Greenback
October 21st, 2008 at 7:58 pm [Reply]

Jeff… who’s Gary Glitter?
Jamus The Bartender
October 21st, 2008 at 8:05 pm [Reply]

Wow….okay, two things
Sunday SFx: Cassie getting out of a speeding ticket was never in question. There’s only one reason she’d play up to a cop, and that is this. A free trip to the police lockup where Cassandra can get all the nose candy and fenced goods her black heart desires. The question now is…how much bail will Jamus have to pony up this time??
Niall: Hoping your mom gets well soon.
Angry Kem
October 21st, 2008 at 8:05 pm [Reply]

#29 Just an Anon: In my role as Kem the Merciless, Online Scourge of Dastardly Essay-Thieving Students from Hell, I am obliged to ask:

Did you plagiarise from this site?

If you did, I shall send my winged monkeys to torture your very soul. If, on the other hand, you were simply inspired by the snarkery herein, I sincerely hope that you get your A+++. Carry on.
commodorejohn
October 21st, 2008 at 8:12 pm [Reply]

#42 Jamus! Where ya been? We were all wondering where you’d gotten to on Sunday…

#43 Angry Kem – Not only do you medievalise comics, you run another blog wherein you threaten violence to those ignorant souls who rape the English language? I think you, personally, balance out the entire deficit of goodness that Lynn Johnston has cursed Canada with.
Angry Kem
October 21st, 2008 at 8:16 pm [Reply]

#44 commodorejohn: Actually, I really need to stop starting new blogs, webcomics, and other sundry projects. I am a master of productive procrastination, but it all rather gets away from me at times. I have let the essay-writing blog slide a bit and only return to it occasionally, usually to apologise that I am only returning to it occasionally.
gnome de blog
October 21st, 2008 at 8:19 pm [Reply]

43, 45 Angry Kem:
No matter. You are now officially one of my heroes.
Red Greenback
October 21st, 2008 at 8:22 pm [Reply]

“This pizza’s got a picher of Jesus on it, Mommy.”
“DROP THAT SLICE RIGHT NOW, BILLY! Mommy, you know who to call!”
Jamus The Bartender
October 21st, 2008 at 8:28 pm [Reply]

Hi John. Yeah. my puter is still down. I was hoping to be able to do long stories by the next Cassandra appearance , but twas not to be.
Annon
October 21st, 2008 at 8:30 pm [Reply]

RMMD I predicted (in the way one “predicts” any soap opera) way back in September that Rex and Lenore will capsize and be saved by Tweaks. Then again, maybe that whole nuclear test site thing will turn out to be true.
Gareth
October 21st, 2008 at 8:51 pm [Reply]

You, Josh, are made of more highbrow stuff than me. When I read your comment about large microwaves, I was impressed to find not a single baby-in-microwave joke. It’s the first place I go.
MDV
October 21st, 2008 at 8:57 pm [Reply]

I think when Mary says she’s visiting “some of my old haunts”, she’s speaking literally. Halloween IS just around the corner.
Conqueso
October 21st, 2008 at 9:04 pm [Reply]

Seems to me Jeffy is making a perfectly logical statement. He’s pointing out that, seeing as it’s leftover Domino’s she reheated in the microwave, it’s not pizza that she made.

Or he just has no imagination.
Tiki Carol
October 21st, 2008 at 9:08 pm [Reply]

RMMD: Panel 1 “edge of the seat excitement” -not.
………….well maybe in RMMD world.
gustav
October 21st, 2008 at 9:10 pm [Reply]

mmmm……………dirk!
Michael
October 21st, 2008 at 9:12 pm [Reply]

RMMD Sarah, the technical name for boats’ tilting is “heeling.” The technical term for what you’re about to do next is “barfing.”

PBS The strike zone on that batter would be huge. There’s no way a half-way decent pitcher would miss that zone, especially pitching high.

9CL C’mon, Amos. When someone is obviously happy about your achievement, you don’t whine at them for something else. Tell them “thank you” and save your whine for later.

DT Where did Traze-R get all those vowels? Has he been saving them up for when it’s important for him to be understood?
Just an Anon.
October 21st, 2008 at 9:32 pm [Reply]

#43 Angry Kem-

*bows on knees*
Oh, no, I assure you I did not!

I was simply inspired, as I had to think of things that I already know how to say in spanish.
AceDiamond
October 21st, 2008 at 9:34 pm [Reply]

RMMD: Sarah looks like she punched herself in the face with the binoculars.
Jeremiah
October 21st, 2008 at 9:34 pm [Reply]

I hope your predictions about the cast of Rex Morgan being vaporized in a nuclear blast prove untrue. If the good doctor were to disintegrate, I don’t know where I would learn life lessons like “never let your kid be in a band”, “never drink with old people”, “fat women are loud and annoying on television”, and “staying firmly in the closet leads to a fulfilled life of happiness and bunnies”.

However, if tomorrow we find you are correct, I just hope that Santa Royale is in the fallout circle.
Norm
October 21st, 2008 at 9:39 pm [Reply]

I’ll say this one more time: In some parts of the US, specifically New York and the surrounding area, pizza is big and floppy. There is nothing out of the ordinary about Billy’s pizza.

Besides there are more obvious problems with the art in today’s family circus… like the odd angle Momma Keane is at while looking at billy. Perhaps off frame she is hanging from monkey bars.
Angry Kem
October 21st, 2008 at 9:39 pm [Reply]

#56 Just an Anon.: Okay. I shan’t deploy the winged monkeys. If you stay on the Path of Virtue, young essay writer, there will be no freakish flying creatures in your future. Write well. Write independently. Write entirely without comma splices. If you do, I shall remain on your side.
Poteet
October 21st, 2008 at 9:39 pm [Reply]

A3G — And to think I was concerned about Lu Ann arriving in South Dakota during the winter, thereby missing the prairie flowers that were once, so very long ago, supposed to be the real reason she was going. Now I figure she might arrive by next June. Maybe. I need to work on detachment from desire in regard to A3G storylines. It’s too late for detachment from suffering.
Digger
October 21st, 2008 at 9:46 pm [Reply]

Luann looks positively psychotic in panel three. She looks like she’s about to eat Brad’s face.

Is that a metal pizza pan that Thel used in the microwave? Fucking lunatic.
kelsy
October 21st, 2008 at 9:52 pm [Reply]

The best thing about today’s Mary Worth is how the colorist gave up on filling in half the background. It’s as if he thought, “Eh, who needs green trees or a colored table cloth when Mary Worth’s just going to suck the life out of them anyway?”
cheech wizard
October 21st, 2008 at 10:00 pm [Reply]

A3G – Wait – Lodi is Tibetan? Good lord, Milton Caniff drew more realistic Asians.

FC – No, no, no, no!!!! Nobody had microwaves in the 1950s!!! Fifteen yard penalty for chronanomaly.

RMMD – “Look mom, daddy’s grinding something. Guess he didn’t get enough coffee this morning – was he out drinking with Mr. Tweeks?”

LuAnn – Nobody believes that someone like Brad could actually a)qualify to be a firefighter b) be the subject of a “burnin’ hot stud” calendar or c) draw the romantic interest of someone like Toni Daytona. So as long as we’re in fantasy land, I guess it’s ok to assume that Toni isn’t getting her fires quenched by the hose of Mr. Hardbody either.
Angry Kem
October 21st, 2008 at 10:13 pm [Reply]

I agree that there is such a thing as floppy pizza (my favourite pizza place specialises in it), but I shall never admit that Family Circus could ever get anything right, even by accident.

The seemingly metal pizza pan bothers me. Is Thel trying to set her house on fire? Actually…she probably is. I would if I were her.
commodorejohn
October 21st, 2008 at 10:20 pm [Reply]

#59 Norm – Well, any pizza made in the microwave is floppy simply because the moisture from thawing it, having nowhere to go, just recondenses onto the pizza as soon as the microwave goes off. And even more so with a pan like Thel’s, with no holes in the bottom for the moisture underneath to escape. When Billy says “this pizza you made is really cool,” what he means is “this is soggy, nasty shit I wouldn’t feed a stray dog.” Cripes, Thel, you’re a Fifties-brand professional housewife; can’t you A. get a pan with holes in it, and B. take ten seconds out of your busy schedule to set the damn oven pre-heating?

#63 kelsy – Well, it all has to do with the company Mary keeps.
NoVan
October 21st, 2008 at 10:24 pm [Reply]

Nah. sarah’s having an allergic reaction. Hence the puffy cheeks and swollen eyelids.
Cherie
October 21st, 2008 at 10:31 pm [Reply]

MW – The last time Mary meddled in another attractive and middle-aged man’s life, Jeff’s attempt to confront her directly failed miserably.
So he’s clearly using a passive aggressive approach this time: “Oh and by the way, Mary, speaking of visits” he said, pouting into his coffee cup, “while you’re visiting… um… Frank and your old haunts, I was thinking of returning to Vietnam. You know… that place that nearly killed me last year… “
Ranger
October 21st, 2008 at 10:39 pm [Reply]

Sailboat races are excruciatingly long in real time. I can only imagine how long this will take in RMMD time!
Moss_Moses
October 21st, 2008 at 10:44 pm [Reply]

Sarah is certainly a deformed freak. The wind is not affecting June’s face at all. Sarah seems to be aging (in a deformed freakish way). Therefore, by the laws of Foob, shouldn’t Rex and June be looking more like the wrinkled captains of the sailboats by now? Can I start hoping for Rex’s death yet a la ChinNuts?
crossbuck
October 21st, 2008 at 10:47 pm [Reply]

A3G: When I saw the mighty pretty Eric out in the middle of nowhere with his guide was I reminded of Creedence Clearwater Revival, “Oh lord, stuck in Lodi again”.
Lithros
October 21st, 2008 at 11:11 pm [Reply]

The Keane household is so old-fashioned, even their pizza is backwards.
Uncle Ed
October 21st, 2008 at 11:12 pm [Reply]

FC Who refers to pizza as “cool?”
Dingle Dongle
October 21st, 2008 at 11:21 pm [Reply]

Brad: “Oh jeez – I need another five years to figure out if this girl likes me. Someone come punch me in the stomach again in front of mom!”
greg
October 21st, 2008 at 11:34 pm [Reply]

It looks to me like Sarah is actually blowing so hard that it is making the boats tilt
Beatrice
October 21st, 2008 at 11:41 pm [Reply]

I am trying to wrap my mind around the idea of a future Tibetan lama being not only mentored, but guided through the Himalayas, by a Manhattan art gallery owner. It requires a certain serene detachment.
Red Greenback
October 21st, 2008 at 11:42 pm [Reply]

RM,CBMD:
“It looks like he’s grinding something!”
“Those are bees, dear.”
Mr. O'Malley
October 21st, 2008 at 11:56 pm [Reply]

49. Annon. I think your prediction is rather far-fetched, because keelboats don’t capsize in anything much short of a hurricane, and if they do they are probably going to sink as well. If there were a hurricane coming they would have cancelled the race. But expecting realism in Rex Morgan may be asking too much.

Heeling at an angle up to 45 degrees is normal behavior for a sailboat. It’s only when water starts coming on board that you need to do something about it.

Also, sailing races normally start off into the wind, but this one is starting off downwind. Is this some strange non-standard race? (I seem to remember that this is based on some actual race.)

Does Tweaks have a crew? It’s fairly challenging to sail a boat that size all by yourself, especially in a race.

Yes, Rex and June are booked to go on a cruise, but it’s next week in strip time, so probably it will happen around March or so.
Poteet
October 21st, 2008 at 11:58 pm [Reply]

# 75 greg — Thanks to you, I finally realize what Widdew Sawah reminds me of. She’s a grotesque version of Zephyr in Botticelli’s LA PRIMAVERA.

Arrrgh. Now that I’ve put that into words, it will scar my brain forever.
C. Havoc
October 21st, 2008 at 11:59 pm [Reply]

Ohhhhh! I get it!

Pizza comic = pizza google ad.

The Colonel has a new hobby, dammit.
BenG
October 22nd, 2008 at 12:01 am [Reply]

A3G: Does Lodi pose like that every time someone points out his status as a chosen Lama? What a douche.
Farley's Revenge
October 22nd, 2008 at 12:13 am [Reply]

Wednesday’s PBS: So do I, Rat, so do I.

Our local newspaper has made a fatal error. We moved last week and the paper has yet to arrive consistently so I’ve been forced to read all my comics online.

It was the last reason I read the newspaper and now I discover even that reason is gone.

So long, print comics.
Steam Engenius
October 22nd, 2008 at 12:13 am [Reply]

Really Jeffy? Daddy doesn’t just hate you because you’re the unholy spawn of Mommy’s one-night tryst with a drunken, hobo Irishman. He also hates you because you’re painfully stupid.
Poteet
October 22nd, 2008 at 12:19 am [Reply]

10/22 MW — Jeff and Mary are discussing Drew’s sex life. Jeff is worried because he thinks Drew is having it off with young men, and Mary is telling Jeff to go soak his head or deal with it, whichever is easier.

I wish.
Donkey Hotey
October 22nd, 2008 at 12:48 am [Reply]

#60 Angry Kem – Thank you for that admonition, comma splices drive me crazy.
Farley's Revenge
October 22nd, 2008 at 12:58 am [Reply]

Uh-oh. I’m guilty of using comma splices, I don’t know why especially since, I know better.*

*Insert an evil smiley face.
Donkey Hotey
October 22nd, 2008 at 1:05 am [Reply]

#85 me – Dammit, I meant to type “I thank you for that admonition, comma splices drive me crazy.”

Maybe I should start using the preview function.
bats :[
October 22nd, 2008 at 1:09 am [Reply]

Oh, I don’t think Drew’s sex life has anything to do with Mary and Jeff. Just like their own sex lives.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/2963774994/sizes/o/
Red Greenback
October 22nd, 2008 at 1:17 am [Reply]

I like baby splice, myself, posh splice is, quite frankly, stuck up, but, sporty splice is ok, i guess.
Poteet
October 22nd, 2008 at 1:22 am [Reply]

# 88 bats — BWAHAHA! I see what you mean.

FW — Oh please, don’t let that black notebook be a tear-dripping manuscript about Lisa that makes BRIDGES OF MADISON COUNTY look like Dostoevsky and sells enough copies to make Les a millionaire. Michael Patterson’s hideous novels provided enough putrid comic-strip prose for a decade.

And if that black notebook contains bad POEMS about Lisa….I refuse to think about it further.
Poteet
October 22nd, 2008 at 1:29 am [Reply]

FC — Is Daddy Keane crying ?

MT — Is someone in this strip actually saying something kind of sane?

Definitely time for bed.
Poteet
October 22nd, 2008 at 1:30 am [Reply]

# 91 — Damn. I need to review “how to do italics” again tomorrow.
Angry Kem
October 22nd, 2008 at 1:32 am [Reply]

Donkey Hotey and Farley’s Revenge: Don’t make me hurt you.

I think Big Daddy Keane is grimacing in pain. I suspect bowel difficulties.
Anonymous
October 22nd, 2008 at 1:33 am [Reply]

You know, I took a lama over a pass once. No, wait, that’s not right – actually I made a pass at a llama once. Yeah, that’s entirely different.

Don’t mock me, that llama was HOT!
CoffeeJanitor
October 22nd, 2008 at 1:41 am [Reply]

PBS: Pastis, if you’re out there, thank you for bringing back the killer whale! He’s pretty easily my favorite side character of all time in the strip!

Also, Toby = awesome yesterday
ChattyGenes
October 22nd, 2008 at 1:42 am [Reply]

Pearls Before Swine, Wednesday. Stephan Pastis, I love you!
Zaq
October 22nd, 2008 at 2:05 am [Reply]

Buxley day snark:

Curtis: Dammit, Billingsley! I hereby revoke your ability to use quotation marks, ever! You hear me? EVER! NO MORE!

My Cage: Et tu, Power? Here’s a time when quotation marks would actually be somewhat appropriate, and you shift them one word to the left. Saying “Your alleged ‘girlfriend’ isn’t answering…” would be correct. Your version is not.

DT: I’m not positive, but it would not surprise me to learn that TRAZE-R is powered by a lolcat.

MT: Um. What? No, seriously, what? I mean, first off, I’m weirded out by the fact that someone in the strip is acknowledging Mark’s stiff, unyielding demeanor, but I also have no idea why the characters are saying what they are saying. First of all, Mark is always safe as long as his fists are attached to his arms… and second, would you ever, ever start a conversation with someone by listing the random information you dug up about them, without prompting? I mean, stilted and inhuman dialogue is par for the course in Mark Trail, but this is weird. Is it just me?

Big Dog: Marmaduke’s unholy powers include the ability to terrify inanimate objects enough to imbue them with a sense of self-preservation and a drive to flee. He does this because the adrenaline makes them taste better when he inevitably catches and eats them.

Momma: Oh please yes.

C’shaft: Crankshaft knows that Batiuk would rather let him suffer than die, which gives him a feeling of invincibility. The rest of us suffer too.

Crock: So… Grossie is upset because Crock doesn’t hand out random unexpected Wheel-of-Fortune-style prizes to his employees, so she physically abuses Maggot. ‘Kay. That’s about as good as we can expect from Crock. Someone else can comment on the coloring gnomes.

AD: Am I thoroughly mistaken, or should there be an apostrophe in “Urologists?” I could swear that “Urologists’ Convention” would be better. Maybe the poor mechanics of the other comics have me on edge, finding errors everywhere. I’m not sure I trust myself anymore.

FC: I bet he lies at that weird diagonal angle when Thel’s in the bed, too. You could interpret that sexually if you want, though I mean it just as a comment on what an insensitive putz he is.

DtMA: Making snide remarks about someone who has randomly grown to twice your size is more “stupid” than “menacing,” really.

S-M: Are the “damages” the missing background? We haven’t had a background in this strip all week. No, really, look for yourself. If the Clocksucker is responsible for that, I guess that counts for something.

MW: Wow, Jeff’s eyes look positively Thorpian in panel 2, don’t they? Also, the more I look at the object on the plate in panel 1, the more it horrifies me. I keep coming up with other things it could be, each worse than the last.

9CL: “This person was acting completely out of character!” “Soon they’ll be acting more out of character.” “I am shocked by your pronouncement!”

Blondie: 1) Subject-verb agreement. NO. You had it right in panel 1, why did you change it in panel 3? If you don’t know (WHICH YOU SHOULD), choose one and live or die on your words, don’t half-ass it and guarantee that you’ll be wrong at least once. 2) That’s an awfully odd hyphen there. 3) Don’t think panel 1 is off the hook. Can I please get some kind of punctuation mark in there? Please?

Man, I don’t know why the comics are turning me into the Language Crusader today, but look at them! So many are so wrong!
Donald The Anarchist
October 22nd, 2008 at 2:58 am [Reply]

Luann My sister has never used the words “Hot n’ steamy” in reference to anything I’ve done. Were I a religious man, I would now say a prayer of thanks.

A3G “But I have made time with Margo Magee! Do you like to hear about other people’s sex lives? If not, this’ll be a loooong trip!”

FC “This pizza is tits, Mom!” No, those are for PJ’s lunch!”

MW Dr. Jeff is either using mascara or Mary gave him quite a shiner…
Mibbitmaker
October 22nd, 2008 at 3:03 am [Reply]

10/22:

9CL: He’s creeping you out? Edda, you’re the one sitting there, levitating your legs in gravity-defying fashion!

A3G: “Moider, she says!” — Bugs Bunny (paraphrase, I think) (I couldn’t resist)

BBailey: “Actually, I just shave off the part that isn’t covered up by his hat, leaving the hairs sticking out of the hat — the ones you always see there. Sorry, ladies.”

DT: “YI!”??? Hey, this is Dick Tracy, not Little Orphan Annie! Next thing you know, their eyeballs will disappear.

Re-FOOB: It could be worse, Liz — you could be wearing Charlie Brown’s winter jacket from the mid-’50s.

FW: Nobody ever revealed what was in Les Moore’s black-covered notebook, but what is known is how his daughter had since just sat there, “Finnegan’s Flea”-style, never to recover.

Garfield: “THIS costume? Oh, just a left-over from ‘U.S. Acres’.”

GA: Why do they let Dick Locher name the special guest characters in this strip??

GT: Fists Of Victory!

JP: “…Then we’ll adjourn to the Sunglasses Suite.”

MT: Relax, Mark. Everyone’s looking up personal info on everyone these days, for their own personal agendas. Just ask “Joe the Plumber”.

Ghost-Who-Sends-Guy-Into-An-Ambush: “That’s not good!” — Norm MacDonald

Zits: Los Alamos, they’re not.
late2theparty
October 22nd, 2008 at 3:04 am [Reply]

Food is falling out of Brad’s mouth because he seems to have confused “brawny” with “doughy,” and is stuffing his face with a furious determination to supplant Dirk as the studly butterball of Toni’s dreams.
Niall
October 22nd, 2008 at 3:09 am [Reply]

Angry Kem: yet another blog for me to read! yay! And an instructive one, too. Having learned English as a second language, I actually don’t think I ever heard of comma splices. I just instinctually internalised what looks right and wrong as much as I could. I did have help, in the form of The Electric Company and Write On in formative years. TVOntario was a great place to be back then. (plus Vision On… and so, so many others…)
boojum
October 22nd, 2008 at 3:29 am [Reply]

97 Zaq:

Regarding Mark Trail — In telling Mark “you’re safe,” I believe Sue Butler means to assure him that she won’t be attacking him sexually. She knows he’s married, so she isn’t luring him out into the wetlands only to force her filthy lady bits on him. (Mark knows that women are only interested in one thing; he just doesn’t know what it is.)

The reference to his being an outdoor writer and photographer is a bit tougher to explain. I interpret it as a reassuring explanation of why she wants to show him the countryside. “You like nature, don’t you, Mark? See? I’m not going to hurt you, boy…”

Mark is clearly wary, and perhaps with good reason. After all, Sue has in fact developed the strip’s latest hopeless passion for our hero. Wild and magnificent woodland creature that he is, Mark has picked up the scent of her interest. Why, oh why, can they not simply leave him alone?
boojum
October 22nd, 2008 at 3:46 am [Reply]

Dear Angry Kem:

I have read your essay-writing blog. I find it scurrilous, inflexible, and mean-spirited.

I am tongue-tied with admiration — a silent Brad to the Tony Datona-ness of your righteous ire. Click! Click! Click! Click! Click! Click!

Your obedient servant and dog,

boojum
boojum
October 22nd, 2008 at 3:48 am [Reply]

Aaaannd a typo. Daytona.

I told you I was flustered.
Mr. O'Malley
October 22nd, 2008 at 5:50 am [Reply]

Zippy: Since when have Americans known about the existence of sausage rolls? Nowadays they are virtually unobtainable, even in Canada. Jamaican food no problem, but the traditional sausage roll? Hard to find these days. And when I did find them, American customs confiscated them on the way back.

RMMD: Glad to see Tweaks does actually have a crew. But I call foul. How could there be “more sail”? It’s a sloop. All two sails are already bent. (Yes, “bent”, it’s sailor talk.) A spinnaker is possible, since they seem to be going downwind. But then you would most likely say something like “Prepare to raise the spinnaker”. If they had a downwind start it’s questionable why they didn’t have the spinnaker ready to go in the first place. Unless the skipper is not too bright.

OK …

And, if the weather is looking bad, the race will get cancelled. Everyone will be told to head back to harbor. Races are not run in dangerous conditions. Plus nowadays we actually have “weather predictions”.

Pluggers haven’t got the concept that feeding ducks causes environmental degradation.

Peanuts: The dip pen saga continues. Next: Shermy learns Morse Code!

MW: What is that horrible brown stuff? It looks like the blancmange that tried to win Wimbledon.

SaFo: Looks as though some plot developments might be forthcoming. What happened to Aria?

6C: I don’t understand this. Is there a joke here?

SlFo: PBS crossover!
John C Fremont
October 22nd, 2008 at 6:51 am [Reply]

# 105 Mr. O’Malley – I had the same thought when I saw today’s Slylock Fox. Cushlamochree!

RMMD – Put him in the box? Ollie Tweaks is Lio’s ventriloquist dummy? You know, that kind of makes sense when you stop and think about it. Why, oh, why did I stop to think about it?
InkAllergy
October 22nd, 2008 at 7:19 am [Reply]

If Luann is going vaguely homoerotic with Brad and some guy named Mr. Brawny, then I want Mary Worth to steamy, creaky, smelling slightly of liniment fling with Sally Jesse Raphael.
Brick Bradford
October 22nd, 2008 at 7:31 am [Reply]

A3G Yup–Alan’s murder is ALL about Margo.
Oh, I found the opening narrative box hysterical, for some reason.

JP Sam is frozen into immobility by the terrifying prospect of female attention.

6C Huh? Totally lost me.

DT Only in comics do people say things like “yi”, or “augh”, or “what the…”.
Ned Ryerson
October 22nd, 2008 at 8:13 am [Reply]

MW:

Jeff: No thanks, Mary, I couldn’t possibly eat any more…

-modeling clay and aquarium gravel
-chicken ass and pubic hair
-Klingon forehead prosthesis and paper clips
-Senior model pocket pussy and dandruff
rollersnakes
October 22nd, 2008 at 8:22 am [Reply]

I think Sarah has obviously just had her wisdom teeth removed, causing her face to swell up so much that her eyes have become tiny slits. This disasterous surgery was part of a dental ‘do-it-yourself’ kit that Rex and June concoted out of their regular doctor gear–as a way to save money for more important things–like separate vacations. June is relieved at this moment that her daughter’s eyesight is greatly diminished, so she can jump in there and say, “oh he’s grinding a SAIL, honey, that’s not a SAILOR.”
Whippersnapper
October 22nd, 2008 at 8:25 am [Reply]

C’shaft: SHOOT HIM! FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS GOOD AND HOLY AND FOR THE BETTERMENT OF MANKIND, SHOOT HIM!

DT: I think it’s safe to say that “yi” will be my new exclamation of choice.

FC: Daddy appears to be sobbing into his pillow, possibly because he fathered a litter of annoying melon-headed morons.
kalki
October 22nd, 2008 at 8:28 am [Reply]

Crankshaft: Just shoot him. Kill him. Take him down. Let it end here and now.

FW: Oh oh. Dad’s black notebook. What could that be? I’m guessing it has a log of all those funds Les collected from the hidden webcam he hooked up in Summer’s bedroom.

GA: What you can’t see in the panels is that the art appraiser isn’t wearing pants. Or underwear. That is why Clovia is smiling for once. That and the hope of a big………… haul of loot.

Monty: I hope there is a kill switch on the remote.

Luann: Let’s see…Toni is a slut…Brad has a massive inferiority complex…T.J. is a bit too happy to see Todd’s photos.. and Luann just wants to hurry and get to the photos of Toni apparently.
Widdle Jeffy
October 22nd, 2008 at 8:39 am [Reply]

“Will you please leave, Dolly. Daddy is trying to masturbate. Thanks.”
Randall
October 22nd, 2008 at 8:43 am [Reply]

Somebody should break it to Brad that Toni isn’t making the beast with Mr. Hardbody, She’s doing it with everyone in the station, except him. And this is the third firehouse she’s done.

Putz
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
October 22nd, 2008 at 8:44 am [Reply]

Slowly easing my way back into snarking:

9CL: Edda’s lips say “You’re creeping me out!”, but her thighs say “Take me now.”

C’Shaft: Much as we might all want to see Cranky get plugged (or at least capped), you just know this is going to end up with the title character on top, having annoyed the robber into leaving empty-handed. Prepare the funny-page-sickness bags.

Crock: Color monkey fail.

(WT)DT: What exactly distinguishes “evil” signals from beneficent ones?

FC: C’mon, Dolly, he’s laying bottom-up. You know that means “punished.” Better leave the room before Thel finishes changing and returns.

GA: I will never forgive this strip for stealing my idea to use “Chiaroscuro” as a character name. Though my 1950s noir superhero could kick this art appraiser’s scraggly ass any day.

JP: Dinner at a fancy hotel? Isn’t Sam still a person of interest? This is taking “good cop” to a whole new level.

Luann: I agree with Luann. Let’s all move on… maybe to the next plotline.

MT: ” ‘Safe’? What does being married have to do with being safe?”

NS: 437? Danae has her own political action committee?

Pluggers: Garfield meets Pluggers today, and decides never to leave.
Mordock999
October 22nd, 2008 at 9:04 am [Reply]

Today’s Luann – 10/22/08 -

Good God Almighty, ENOUGH ALREADY!!

Brad, do yourself a FAVOR.

KILL yourself!

And be SURE to take TJ with you!

__________________________________

Everlasting DEATH to TJ!
Les of the Jungle Patrol
October 22nd, 2008 at 9:08 am [Reply]

Previous Slylock:

Do beavers have more than the two front teeth?

Heh. Heh. Beavers with teeth. Dentata.

Fine, ok, I’m drunk in the midafternoon, but if it’s good enough for the writer of Mallard Filmore, it’s good enough for me.
Angry Kem
October 22nd, 2008 at 9:10 am [Reply]

Big Dad Keane has violated the medieval moral code and must be punished.

#105 Mr. O’Malley: You can’t find sausage rolls in Canada? Really? They’ve got ‘em in every deli I enter.

What the…? Someone in Lio just spoke! Okay, it was a ventriloquist’s dummy (or Lio speaking through a ventriloquist’s dummy…?), so maybe it doesn’t count as direct speech, but…damn!

Luann: Oh, dear lord. This is going to be so…extremely…boring.

H&J: I can’t read this strip. I can’t take it in. It slides off my attention span like water off a duck’s–ooh…shiny!
Old School Allie Cat
October 22nd, 2008 at 9:27 am [Reply]

Luann – I think “difficult to shoot” is code for “sporting wood” – Mr. Hardbody’s little hardbody wouldn’t cooperate. Or, was overly cooperative, depending on your POV.

A3G – So again, it’s all about Margo. Which, since I actually find her to be the most interesting resident of 3G, suits me fine.

FW – I’m hoping that this is either his grade book, or some really graphic “Golden Girls” Fanfic.

PBS – It’s OK, Rat, I miss Gary Larson.

RwO – Nice.
gleeb
October 22nd, 2008 at 9:28 am [Reply]

A3G: Margo, they explained already that they were from the Vice Squad. It wasn’t murder, it was narcotics trafficking.

Between Friends: Good work getting your friend beaten to death, Maeve. Try to look surprised when you get the news.

’shaft: Ed hears the Angel of Death calling and he flies to her.

Dinette Set: As always, this is an exercise in shameful pleasure, looking at people so awful that anyone can look down on them. But I like the rack marked “lost keys”.

‘bean: And now Summer will learn the awful truth. But what is it? Has Creepy Les been photographing her as she sleeps? Nah, she probably already suspects that. Have the proceeds from the Lisa’s Legacy walk been being spend on a bald, emaciated hooker? No, just a little too creepy. Is Montoni’s a temple of horrors, offering prayer and sacrifice to things humans were not meant to ken? Yeah, that’s probably it.

H&J: Herb gets his internet access from a hollow-eyed cab driver?

Sam Driver, person of interest: Oh, detective, get ready to be disappointed.

Phantom: If you’re going to learn one word in these guys’ language, “friend” is a good choice.

Pluggers: …enjoy poached duck for Sunday dinner.

Call me Rex: Tweaks is just an eyelash’s breadth from offering an ounce of Spanish gold for the first man to spot the white whale.
Dingo
October 22nd, 2008 at 9:32 am [Reply]

Rex Morgan in vigorous action with a wench? Oh, wait. Winch. I see him as more of a “shimmy up the pole” guy at sea.
AmazingThor
October 22nd, 2008 at 9:58 am [Reply]

A3G: Whew. For a second there I thought we might lose our beloved Margo to compassion or sympathy, but I see today she’s returned to her normal spite-filled self.

‘Shaft: They’re dangling it in front of us like a carrot, but we all know that when the time comes no one will take a bullet in the stomach. Instead, Crank will probably start reminiscing about when he met Bonnie and Clyde and by the time he’s done the robber will have fallen asleep and the police will have arrived just in time for Crank to whip out some snarky one-liner like the crotchety old man he is.

DT: I never knew that “evil” had it’s own frequency, but apparently the robot can pick it up.

JP: “It’s been a rough day, Counselor.” How? All you did was sit down in a nice house and talk to a scantily clad hotty. How is that exhausting?

PBS: Don’t we all, Rat. Don’t we all.
Pinokeyo's Wife
October 22nd, 2008 at 10:07 am [Reply]

Goody gumdrops! Mary gets to take her meddling on the road.

I like the one-upping, verbal tennis match that Mary and Dr. Jeff engage in, but Mary’s a little whorish on the eye liner in panel one.
indoor voices
October 22nd, 2008 at 10:10 am [Reply]

wouldn’t it be fun if the ski mask guy in crankshaft were funky’s sulky stepson, who’s already been established as a criminal mind, and then funky, who’s been tracking the boy through comicsville, shows up right behind crankshaft, knocking him over, and when stepson tries to seize the opportunity to shoot funky, crankshaft is pissed off and kicks funky’s feet out from under him, saving his life, and while crankshaft and funky are wrestling at cross purposes on the floor, the other patrons of the bank make their escapes, then dagwood’s mailman comes in and runs into the stepson, and then momma’s daughter comes in to answer an ad for a job, and phantom comes to deposit a royalty check and captures stepson and hands him over to mark trail …

~insert sound of light snoring and whimpering~
Bootsy
October 22nd, 2008 at 10:18 am [Reply]

RMMD: It looks to me like widdle Sarah could use a shave.
WonderCat
October 22nd, 2008 at 10:18 am [Reply]

Hmm… I get the feeling that I may be the only person here who, having actually participated in many sailboat races, thinks that yes, they can be exciting. (I can also state that increasing sails in gusty, high winds will in fact make the boat go SLOWER, not faster.) But that’s beside the point. The point is that even I consider vicarious sailboat races to be kind of boring – and RMMD has consistently shown an ability to make anything boring.

ATTENTION RMMD CREATORS: In the same way that two wrongs don’t make a right, two borings do not make for excitement.
gh
October 22nd, 2008 at 10:29 am [Reply]

FC —

Yes, Dolly, Daddy’s being punished. It’s called a hangover.
Gabacho
October 22nd, 2008 at 10:33 am [Reply]

Mary Worth – If Jeff had any self respect, or any sense at all, his response to Mary would be “What do you know about relationships with children, you harridan? How is your long-lost son Warren anyway? Doing things his way, is he?”

But he doesn’t. He continues to munch away on the turd pie Mary is shoving at him while the windows behind Mary turn into curio cabinets which turn into framed prints. Jeff can’t even muster the strength to be interested in the surreality of Mary’s apartment.

Some things are worse than dying.
Artist formerly known as Ben
October 22nd, 2008 at 10:37 am [Reply]

10/22

9CL: Quite funny today, and I like the snap in the dialogue. It’s impressive that Edda can be witty whn, judging from the third panel, she’s in the middle of a pelvic exam.

RMMD: The day they put Ollie Tweaks in a pine box? I call next Monday.

JP: Police ethics in Arizona seem to be pretty flexible, if a homicide detective can go on a date with a person of interest. Not that she’ll be able to do anything with him she couldn’t do with a GI Joe action figure.

FC: Actually, Daddy passed out at work. Mommy drove him home and put him to bed as well as she could, like a good enabler.

GA: Chiaro Scuro’s constant “Lovely! Lovely!” refrain is giving me traumatic flashbacks to Alfred Hitchcock’s “Frenzy.” It’s a relief to see that his necktie is too short for strangling.

FW: God help me, I’m actually curious what’s in that black notebook. Bracing myself for disappointment/disgust, though.

SFx: Another tale of love that just wasn’t meant to be.

A3G: Today we are treated to the archetypical Margo. “Oh sure, Lu Ann’s boyfriend was killed by a junkie. But what about meeeeee?”

DT: Maximum Rockin’ Force is turning Genesis Corp inside out while Traze-R just keeps repeating itself. Obviously, Dick and the police department have been going to the wrong batshit insane inventor all these years.

Momma: Sonia says something about being sent to the county farm, and Francis urges her to turn herself in. Apparently the world of Logan’s Run is dawning.

H&J: “Wait a minute. Cabbie, stop here. I seem to have grabbed the wrong punchline on the way out.”

BC: “… unless you’re into drinking piss. Then it’s all good.”

Marvin: What I can’t believe is that Marvin is finger-painting two horses having sex. He doesn’t even live on a farm.
Hogenmogen
October 22nd, 2008 at 10:41 am [Reply]

RMMD: My prediction is that Tweaks loses because he takes time to harpoon a white whale.
Artist formerly known as Ben
October 22nd, 2008 at 10:50 am [Reply]

#119 Old School Allie Cat,
I thoguht the same thing about “Luann.” Although I would have expected that to be more of a problem with Brad. Maybe Todd’s bulge is just a little more… “in your face.”
CanuckDownSouth
October 22nd, 2008 at 10:53 am [Reply]

Dang. Everybody else has noticed the 3-D problems with Edda’s pose in 9CL.

I will just make my bid for a no-prize by saying that I am impressed that even in emotional distress, she is doing isometric exercises, holding her legs out in the air to strengthen them. Especially tricky when, judging by the chair’s outline, half her gluteus maximus muscles are also being supported – perhaps it’s an exercise to strengthen her lower abs and back?

And that Seth’s description makes Amos sound like a shadow of Granthony: all the boring blandness, but at least, mercifully, without the creep factor.
will
October 22nd, 2008 at 11:02 am [Reply]

Zits:So did they get the code from the house number, or did they buy the house because it matched their code?
PBS: Pastis, you magnificent bastard, you read your book!
Niall
October 22nd, 2008 at 11:04 am [Reply]

A3G: Margo is trying to slay us with her puns.

Blondie: Ballast, biology and humour don’t work that way.

Curtis: Way, way, way TMI.

FC: a rare glimpse into the despair of the cartoonist.

MT: Hey, boys and girls, do you want to be deemed untouchable by the opposite sex? Come work for outdoor magazines! You’ll remain abstinent for the rest of your life!

MC: shaping up to be a really amusing week, love Norm’s expressions throughout. Plus, this kind of thing does happen to people, though without the comedic exaggerations.

Phantom: Tsk, the correct appellation they prefer is Poison Pygmy People. (They really need their own jingle.)

Pluggers: make no sense to me today.

SF: actually touching and realistic without humour forced into it in the shape of a pun or malapropism, just out of the situation. Well done.
gh
October 22nd, 2008 at 11:08 am [Reply]

Pluggers —

. . . and their stale jokes upon the public.
Angry Kem
October 22nd, 2008 at 11:11 am [Reply]

#133 will: You’ve hit on it. In many ways, Pastis really is a Magnificent Bastard.
commodorejohn
October 22nd, 2008 at 11:15 am [Reply]

9CL – How does that chair even work? First she’s sitting on it normally, then in panel three she’s either adopting an uncomfortable position for no reason at all or it’s turned into some sort of ramp-with-arms; if there are any lines indicating a cushion or any kind of seat structure, they’re completely indiscernable. Brooke, may I suggest you scale back on the halftone just a tich?

A3G – I will never, ever get tired of watching Margo be ragingly self-absorbed to her roommates. It’s the single biggest reason I read this strip.

BR – Futurama: The Comic Strip.

Crankshaft – I hate to admit it, but thus far I am honestly, wholeheartedly enjoying this Crankshaft storyline in (apparently) the way it was intended. No doubt things will go south tomorrow and Crankshaft’s son-in-law will show up to smugly chide him about how the elderly should be subservient to any person more than fifteen years younger while he’s being wheeled out by EMTs, but for now I can only laugh.

Crock – Say, King Features colorists, I hate to break it to you, but…gold. Gold, dammit. You know, like the Crayola color? That gold?

DT – I see Magnum Force isn’t the only robot who’s getting fed up with the obtuseness of the humans around him. “Ys, Trcy, thr iz anthr rbt, s Iv bn tlng u ovr n ovr fr th pst 3 wks.”

FC – No, Dolly, Daddy is only punished in bed when you kids are all asleep.

FW – So, what I’m getting here is that Summer is smarter and more perseverant than the man who just yesterday was patting himself on the back for being strong of character. Look, girl, just slip arsenic in his coffee. You’ll be doing both of you a favor.

Garfield – First Mr. Dithers, now Garfield. It’s spreading.

GA – David Letterman as drawn by Phil Foglio being watched by Curious George in a fez? Look, I don’t give a damn about the stupid storyline, just let me get a good look at the painting so I can figure out what the hell it is, okay?

JP – Crime investing unit? Holy crap, the Phoenix police are getting in on both sides of the equation!

Luann – Preach it, Luann.

MF – Say, Tinsley, you do realize that every office-holding Republican above a state level is, in fact, a federal employee? Would you like me to draw you a Venn diagram?

MT – Assuring him her motives are pure to get his guard down before she tries to get in his pants? Sue’s cleverer than your average Mark Trail villain, at least.

MW – Jeff, if you’re trying to get out of Charterstone, you don’t wait for Mary’s permission. You just bail. Maybe you’ll wind up at the bottom of Aldo’s Cliff, but you’ll die free.

MC – I’m actually interested to see where this is going.

NAQV – Quoth Wikipedia: “There is currently no professional baseball in the United Kingdom.” But hey, England did win the only World Cup of Baseball in which it ever participated.

OBH – See, this is the thing I like about One Big Happy: Ruthie’s antics are exactly the kind of crazy stuff real kids her age do. At least the weird ones.

Pibgorn – Brooke, you are a very, very strange man.

RMMD – Why can’t Lenore and Tweaks be the main characters? Or at least share top billing with June? Why is Rex even in this strip?

SM – I don’t know about you guys, but I’m not sure I’d take a bribe in front of a pissed-off TV personality. That seems like a thing you’d want to do in a more discreet fashion.

Edison Lee – Look, Hambrock, your strip is annoying enough when you’re not revealing exactly how good you are at making politics unfunny. At least Opus was occasionally funny.

Zits – Oh, for crap’s sake, not another damn identity-theft PSA.
UncleJeff
October 22nd, 2008 at 11:16 am [Reply]

PBS: At least Pastis acknowledges continuity errors.
Mallard: Isn’t it horrible that working people are allowed to express view and support candidates other than the ones that conservative Republicans support? This must be stopped.
9CL: Alright Edda, either sit up straight or really show us “the goods.”
MT: Uh oh. Exposition statement! Jackelrod must’ve just added a new client and must explain Mark Trail to his new audience. Congratulations!
Joe Blevins
October 22nd, 2008 at 11:37 am [Reply]

FC: Oh, god… the Keane kids can “cutely” misunderstand each other now? I thought they could only “cutely” minsunderstand adults. It seems the family’s ability to quickly and clearly convey information to one another is total. Thus, when the Keane Compound is inevitably stormed by ATF agents and catches fire, they are all doomed.
Joe Blevins
October 22nd, 2008 at 11:38 am [Reply]

Er… that should be inability. Damn you, Keane kids and your adorable malaprops! You’ve broken my brain!!!!!
Hogenmogen
October 22nd, 2008 at 11:50 am [Reply]

A3G – Eric is hurrying to deliver the Dali Llama to NYC, where the Dali will reincarnate the soul of Alan into another body. He selects Tommie, who has no soul of her own.

I was a little stunned when I realized what was happeneing in this diversion from the Manhattan story lines of A3G. Eric is morphing into a recognizable character, and not one of the male manequin clones that apparently walk the streets of New York zombie-like. Also – could this be? The Dali Llama looks like an Asian without some degrading stereotype. Well, someone’s art lessons are certainly paying off.
Hogenmogen
October 22nd, 2008 at 12:00 pm [Reply]

DT:
Trzr: I snse evl!
Dick: Ha ha! That’s a good one!
Trzr: I stll snse evl!
Dick: Yeah, I heard you.
Trzr: Its dwn th street.
Dick: Uh huh.
Trzr: Its attckng Gnsys Corp.
Dick: Uh, what is, Traz-r?
Trzr: Evl iz attckng!
Dick: Oh, I’ve got one! “Don’t Traze me, bro!” Ha ha!
Trzr: Dck, I mean it. Evl iz attckng Gnsys Corp rght nw!
Dick: Traze, I’m still waiting on that coffee that I asked for like, two weeks ago. Can ya pick up the pace a bit?
Bootsy
October 22nd, 2008 at 12:00 pm [Reply]

In A3G today, Tommie is doing the “I’m squishing your head” maneuver at Margo. That’s only going to piss her off.
commodorejohn
October 22nd, 2008 at 12:03 pm [Reply]

#141 Hogenmogen – “Eric is hurrying to deliver the Dali Llama to NYC, where the Dali will reincarnate the soul of Alan into another body. He selects Tommie, who has no soul of her own.”

That can’t happen in Apartment 3-G because it would be interesting.
Hogenmogen
October 22nd, 2008 at 12:03 pm [Reply]

Curtis’s dad is a cross dresser? Listen, if you cut out all the expensive, lacy corsets, maybe you wouldn’t need your night job at the local Frederick’s of Hollywood outlet.

And if he’s as wrapped up as he claims, then why does he still look like he’s got a beer gut?
Steve the Pocket
October 22nd, 2008 at 12:21 pm [Reply]

Alternate explanation for yesterday’s Family Circus: It’s not the imaginary Keanes who are stuck in the ’50s; the real ones are, in a sort of modern-day counterpart to the Amish. And as such, they never learned that a typical microwave is not big enough to fit a pizza into, nor a modern-day replacement for an actual oven. This, like every other attempt at shoehorning in references to modern-day society, has met with hilarious failure.

And actually, the microwave oven was in development in the 1950s; this “Home of the Future” from a 1956 newspaper article features a microwave-based cooking stove that certainly looks as if it could fit a whole pizza.
Grandstanding Oddball
October 22nd, 2008 at 12:28 pm [Reply]

I have to say, in the first panel there of Apartment 3G, that’s about the closest anyone has come to capturing what a generic Asian person might look like. I’m genuinely pleased.
NPR
October 22nd, 2008 at 12:34 pm [Reply]

Pastis is the God amongst today’s cartoonists.

We bow down and beg your humble blessings.
Widdle Jeffy
October 22nd, 2008 at 12:38 pm [Reply]

Billy is going to ask Dolly, “How come mom went crying from their room saying something about the gimp can’t take a strap on like a man?”
Widdle Jeffy
October 22nd, 2008 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

As for yesterday’s FC, since when do any of the Keane kids know the difference between a stove, toaster oven, dishwasher, microwave, refrigerator, or any other household appliance?

And for that matter, Billy still hasn’t mastered the difference between cold and hot and that slab of cardboard, casseine, ketchup might just very well be as cold as an icicle cause mommy pulled it out of the big white microwave, that sits on top of the little room where they go when they are bad.

Mommy was in a big hurry to get back to the bedroom and the cable guy — which — come to think of it, explains today’s FC.

Carry on.
Comcis Fan
October 22nd, 2008 at 1:13 pm [Reply]

FC: No Dolly, Daddy is just waiting for his Zoloft to kick in.

Not to make light of depression at all, it’s just that, sheesh, Daddy Keane sure looks down for a happy little comic circle. Is this FC – Behind the Scenes?
t007
October 22nd, 2008 at 1:14 pm [Reply]

A3-G: This whole Alan murder is such a bother. Let’s get back to me, Me, ME!

GA: Now borrowing names from Dick Tracy.

MT: Fatal Attraction, anyone?

MW: What in God’s name is on that plate? Boiled squirrel?

Popeye: WTF? I love the zaniness!
Joe Blevins
October 22nd, 2008 at 1:20 pm [Reply]

LUANN: “No, Brad. I mean, the brawn is gone! Dirk is dead. I killed him and just drank the last of his blood. I’m a succubus. That’s how I’ve remained a teenager for 23 years. Weren’t you getting a little bit suspicious about that?”
Art Vandelay
October 22nd, 2008 at 1:25 pm [Reply]

Hmm, so there’s a Robotic Man in Monty now? Why does that sound vaguely familiar? Maybe they should change the title of the strip from Monty to Robot Man and Monty. Or just Robot Man.

Please, please Mr. Bank Robber, murder that old Crankshaft guy who isn’t following your instructions. You need to make an example of him to keep the others in line! Just pull the trigger NOW before it’s too late! DO IT!! If you don’t murder him right now you’ll never get away with this robbery and you will go to jail, mark my words. DO IT!! PULL THE TRIGGER NOW!!!
Poteet
October 22nd, 2008 at 1:53 pm [Reply]

GA — On behalf of a large portion of the human race not involved with the production of this strip, I’d like to deeply apologize to art appraisers everywhere. Dear God.
Bill_Parcells
October 22nd, 2008 at 1:56 pm [Reply]

Dirk should have snapped Brads neck when he had a chance..Put the boy out of his misery.
This kid can’t represent firefighters..brave men.

Brad can’t be happy with anything…even when he’s taking pictures with Toni.. Delta shouldn’t be the one dying of cancer…That should have been bestowed on Brad.

What a wimp!
Donkey Hotey
October 22nd, 2008 at 1:58 pm [Reply]

#94 Anonymous – How? Did you say, “I llove you?”
PeteMoss
October 22nd, 2008 at 1:58 pm [Reply]

I am completely confused by Marmaduke. WTF? The vacuum cleaner is rolling away from Big Dog at high rate of speed? Maybe there are children hiding in the bag. Sweet, delicious, children.
Jumper
October 22nd, 2008 at 2:02 pm [Reply]

A steady diet of Mary Worth inevitably grows a film a phlegm over one’s eyes, but several things leapt out at me that make me very uncomfortable. Firstly, is that Mary has served her tea and cakes (or meatloaf and blood pudding) on paper plates, obvious from the fact that “Jeff’s” overbalanced knife has up-ended the flimsy thing. Second is that Mary has provided stilettos as cutlery, made clear by the one on her right. Thirdly, “Jeff” has apparently changed gender in panel three. And it’s not my imagination. Truly strange things are brewing here. Methinks some sort of exorcism is needed. Soon.
Zach
October 22nd, 2008 at 2:06 pm [Reply]

The brilliance of Pearls Before Swine today is that Pastis used the same explanation Rat used to bring Angry Bob back to life.
Jumper
October 22nd, 2008 at 2:07 pm [Reply]

No, I’m not yet hallucinating heavily. I meant “panel two.” And “Jeff’s” obtruding tea-drinking pinky finger is amusing me highly.
Bribaby
October 22nd, 2008 at 2:36 pm [Reply]

There was a Mr. Hardbody person In Luann and we didn’t get to see him?! No fair, Mr. Evans. I demand he become a prominently featured supporting character toute suite! And for some reason never wears a shirt; c’mon, you’re a writer, use your imagination! It’ll be a worthwhile challenge.

I’m starting to think that Charterstone is like the secret agent compound on The Prisoner; no one ever really gets out. I demand that a large, manhunting bubble become a prominently featured supporting character toute suite.

The artwork on Rex Morgan just screams Joe Kubert school today. I demand that either Hawkman or Tarzan…
gh
October 22nd, 2008 at 2:36 pm [Reply]

FW –

Anyone who’s ever taught will recognize that as Les’s grade book. This being FW, I’m assuming everyone failed.

A3G —

I don’t think Lu Ann is being stoic. I think she doesn’t understand the concept of death. She just thinks Alan is asleep. Margo will have to school her in the subject, most likely using a technique called “experiential learning.”
Calico
October 22nd, 2008 at 2:56 pm [Reply]

#6 – Well, y’know – a negative multiplied by a negative makes a positive.
Of course, Tweaks will capsize, and Rex the Wonder Bread Boy will rescue him. Hurrah.
blammers66
October 22nd, 2008 at 3:11 pm [Reply]

FC: “Dolly … get … Daddy’s … aspirin … quick … stop … asking … stupid … questions … I … taste … copper … aspirin … quick … don’t … just … stand … there … “
Anonymous
October 22nd, 2008 at 3:12 pm [Reply]

RE: 138, UncleJeff, Mallard Fillmore: Actually, under the “Hatch Act,” federal employees are normally prohibited from engaging in partisan political activity, such as campaigning for candidates, regardless of whether “conservative republicans support” the candidate or not.
odinthor
October 22nd, 2008 at 3:19 pm [Reply]

162. Bribaby.

I’m starting to think that Charterstone is like the secret agent compound on The Prisoner; no one ever really gets out. I demand that a large, manhunting bubble become a prominently featured supporting character toute suite.

That would be Mary herself.

Be seeing you!
Red Greenback
October 22nd, 2008 at 3:19 pm [Reply]

MT: “Relax Mark, you’re safe… I checked up on you… For more than 50 years, you have been teaching people to preserve our natural resources — woods, water and wildlife — for future generations. You were created by Ed Dodd in 1946 and drawn by Jack Elrod since 1978, You appear in 175 newspapers, reaching nearly 23 million readers worldwide. You’re also approxamately six foot-one and 180 pounds, very well-hung with nine and a half inches.”
Hip Young Urban Plugger
October 22nd, 2008 at 3:28 pm [Reply]

I can’t wait until Eric and Lodi get in a jam and start bickering. “Looks like you’ve managed to cut off our only escape route!” “Maybe you’d like it better back in your cell, your Highness!”
CanuckDownSouth
October 22nd, 2008 at 3:29 pm [Reply]

163-gh Well, I’ve only ever used online gradebooks, so I didn’t see that (they’re in an auto-backup zone; I’m not nuts). Someone down the hall who uses the hardcopy type tells me they’re getting harder to find.

But whatever it is, it will be depressing, oh, yes. Denizens of the Batiukverse long for the lighthearted world of “Now and Then, Here and There”.
Some Guy Here
October 22nd, 2008 at 3:37 pm [Reply]

Three comments in various states of seriousness:

A3G: Come to think about it, the nice thing about the Himalayas, being the tallest mountains in the world, is that they’re tall. This means plenty of opportunity to throw oneself off a crevice in lieu of having to run into Margo.

Luann: Well, I kinda don’t blame Brad (and no, not in that way). I guess he is a bit defensive, perhaps overly defensive, but given the history of Dirk, I can’t blame him.

Rex Morgan: Actually, watching a sailboat race can be pretty interes…ahhh who am I kidding, it’s freakin’ Rex Morgan!

Where’s my nuclear fireball already?!?!
AhClem
October 22nd, 2008 at 3:46 pm [Reply]

commodorejohn -
Off topic, but a while back you linked to a web site for a 3rd party candidate running for president. I don’t recall his name, but the site was characterized by raging paranoia and sentences that ran for 3 pages. Do you remember who it was?
commodorejohn
October 22nd, 2008 at 3:49 pm [Reply]

#172 AhClem – Do I! ‘Twas one Lee Mercer Jr., arguably the sanest third-party candidate since Teddy Roosevelt.
Li’l Bunnë FooFoo
October 22nd, 2008 at 3:56 pm [Reply]

A3G – Eric is travelling the Himalayas with Lodi… and Lodi is California the city where A&W was founded. Damn you, crossword-puzzle-related knowledge! I can only hope we don’t meet characters named St. Lo, Osier, and Rani, lest I become completely distracted.
gh
October 22nd, 2008 at 4:12 pm [Reply]

#170 CanuckDownSouth –

Online gradebooks *harumph*. Next you’ll say there’s online classes *snort* *snort*.

You kids and your wacky ideas. It’s all moonbeams and marzipan. I want my students right in front of me — bolt upright — where I can tell them to Stay. The. Fuck. Off. My. Lawn. And those laser pointers? Please. A student starts to crack wise, what are you going to do with it? Get him to chase the dot around the room like an LOLcat?? Give me a good solid 3’ hickory pointer I can use to Tap. Out. Important. Points. on the chalkboard and bring down HARD on their desks when they start texting their friends instead of paying attention to my lecture on The Smoot-Hawley Tariff Act. Oh, yes. It WILL be on the test. And meiosis. AND mitosis. Hmmm? You did write down the differences, I hope.
CanuckDownSouth
October 22nd, 2008 at 4:21 pm [Reply]

Well, you could always get a green laser pointer and threaten to cause permanent eye damage. I think 5 mW green = damage at 10 feet or less :-)

But I do like a good wood screen-pointer – I only use lasers for backup – it’s much more satisfying to whap the screen.
commodorejohn
October 22nd, 2008 at 4:30 pm [Reply]

#175 gh, #176 CanuckDownSouth – Well, laser pointers aren’t actually that good as pointers anyway. A tiny little dot of light is not nearly as visible as a clearly-defined physical object, especially when used by one of those dolts who decides that the best thing with which to direct attention to various parts of a brightly-colored image is to use a brightly-colored light. (Triple dumb score if the only reason the image is brightly colored is because they like to make their Powerpoint slides ~~unnecessarily complex~~ “pretty.”) For those of us cursed with myopia, there’s a special place in Hell for instructors who use laser pointers.
CanuckDownSouth
October 22nd, 2008 at 4:37 pm [Reply]

commodorejohn Having myopia as well, I only use a laser pointer in circumstances where, from experience, I expect I could see it. I think more powerful ones are available at conference centers, because I haven’t had trouble in large rooms at large professional conferences where they use a really bright red dot.

I’m not nearly as worried about “pretty” Powerpoint as people who don’t seem to realize that Royal Blue-on-Black does not work. Or that the standard “light green” and “aqua” do not come out with a high contrast against white, unlike on their home computer screen.
Dingo
October 22nd, 2008 at 4:40 pm [Reply]

Ever have one of those days where you could walk into a bar and shout, “I don’t care who it is or what we do but I need to get off. Now.” at the top of your lungs? I suspect Dr. Jeff Cory knows how to say that in Vietnamese.
Mr. O’Malley
October 22nd, 2008 at 4:55 pm [Reply]

118. Angry Kem. What part of town do you live in? Obviously not North York, the Sahara of the Sausage Roll.

126. WonderCat. I also have participated in sailboat races, and they are pretty exciting to be in. But it’s in many ways like a kind of strategic board game that takes place on a huge playing surface. It’s difficult to have any idea what’s going on if you’re watching from the shore.

And watching people watching from the shore must be a kind of higher-level metaboredom. To think that it was only a short time ago we were thrilling at the search for the deadly gym mats.
NoVan
October 22nd, 2008 at 5:00 pm [Reply]

Ugh. And to think I used to like Curtis (no kidding). I completely missed the cross-dressing connotations because I was focusing on the fact that Billingsly used the EXACT SAME joke a few years ago, except with Gunther instead of Curtis’ dad. He probably used the exact same punchine fer cryin’ out loud.

Excuse me while I go off on a rant, but Curtis is fast becoming one of the comic strips that I hate the most. They’re not above blatantly and frequently repeating jokes (like how Barry gets Curtis to do a chore by telling their mother Curtis hit him). In fact, they’re a long way below it.
That’s not the worst of it though. Whenever Billingsly tries to cover topical humor- like right now- he doesn’t even use humor at all, it’s just preachy. You know how when Curtis is sitting in Gunther’s barbershop chair in the final panel, and as Gunther says something preachy, Curtis looks at the viewer with an “what-is-this-world-coming-to” expression? P*sses me right off.
And finally, the Kwaanza stories, a good feature which used to be engrossing, are now just something Billingsley tries to get out of the way. What happened? It used to be a good comic! /rant.
gh
October 22nd, 2008 at 5:02 pm [Reply]

#177, 178 Canuck, cj –

Myopia, hell. I wear trifocals. If I’m going to see one of those light pointers it better be one of those 10 million candlepower spotlights they sell at Northern Tool.
Dingo
October 22nd, 2008 at 5:07 pm [Reply]

gh, I love that spotlight. I bet you could use that to light up the darkened soul of Margo Magee.
gh
October 22nd, 2008 at 5:11 pm [Reply]

#183 Dingo –

And it comes with a nylon carrying belt AND a swivel stand. Think of the possibilities!
Li’l Bunnë FooFoo
October 22nd, 2008 at 5:14 pm [Reply]

126, Wondercat
Actually, I always enjoyed watching sailboat racing. What’s not to love? You sit outside by the water on a nice day and look at something beautiful. If you’re lucky, there are spinnakers.

What struck me most about the cartoon, aside from the odd face in panel three, and the well-thought-out layout and flow of the comic, is that trying to watch people on a boat through binoculars, and to see what they are doing, would be difficult, nauseous work. Binoculars are not that easy to use!

Oh well, at least this scene advances the plot. Sort of. Ok it doesn’t really advance the plot, from what I can tell. Is there a plot? I wasn’t paying attention, to be honest. I was just hoping for spinnakers.
Amateur
October 22nd, 2008 at 5:14 pm [Reply]

181 NoVan — I hate to say it, but you just described “Curtis” as it has been as far back as I can remember (at least a couple of decades).
Niall
October 22nd, 2008 at 5:20 pm [Reply]

Angry Kem: curse your highly entertaining and instructive essay blog! I am losing so much time on it… and I don’t care. (Fascinating to me, because I may have written a grand total of three essays while in school. Quebec classes were big on text comprehension and analysis [though sadly rather shallow analysis] and when we did talk about “dissertations” [en français dans le texte] I clearly remember being instructed on outlining ideas, but getting ideas first. And the teacher took as example the role of women not in Hergé’s Tintin, but in Les Bijoux de la Castafiore – precise example using analysis to shed light to Hergé’s oeuvre as a whole. It’s been over 20 years and I still remember it. I’d say it left a mark… We were shown the Sandwhich as one example for illustrative purposes; I’d have to consult my notes [I think I still have them from high school] to see if the teacher told us it was boring in and of itself.)

I shall continue from home (leaving work at the moment) only if I have done my needed work for the weekend – repairing and prepping modified DDR dance mats for the local anime mini-con this weekend. They like to use mine, since they withstand any and all fans pounding on it with shoes… and I now have Lee Valley Duct Tape, something that actually sticks. Honestly, the “heavy duty” tape today is a pale imitation of what I had when I made these pads, a mere five years ago…
Angry Kem
October 22nd, 2008 at 5:21 pm [Reply]

#180 Mr. O’Malley: I’m on the Danforth. I’ve seen sausage rolls all over the downtown core.

Re. Stupid PowerPoint from Hell: I curse the day it became mandatory to use bloody PowerPoint slides in lectures. The students expect the damn things. They complain if they’re not there. If they are there, they expect you to post the slides online (I am not doing that this term, and I think people are grumbling). As soon as a slide appears, students stop listening to you in order to write down every single tiny bit of information on the damn slide. Last week, my slides contained a timeline that was meant to illustrate a point; it was not necessary for the students to record every detail. I told them this. They still started yelling at me every time I tried to change slides because they hadn’t finished writing everything down yet. I avoided the problem in my second section by promising at the beginning of the class to post the idiotic slides online for once. I advised them to write down what I was bloody well saying about the slides.

There are no wooden pointers in our classrooms, and I don’t like laser pointers, so I tend to use my finger. I thus spend quite a lot of time jumping up and down in order to reach the highest bits of the screen.

Oh…and I am so inept at PowerPoint that my slides tend to be nice and simple. I do not use animations because I don’t know how. When my students give presentations, they pull out all the stops…and then I go back to my plain black and white slides.
Jnoble
October 22nd, 2008 at 5:29 pm [Reply]

Luann: Smooth move, Brad. Nothing turns a girl on more than uncontrollable paranoia and jealousy.

I suspect by Friday, there will be a wacky misunderstanding when TJ gets blamed for the suspicous murder of Todd Newman.
gh
October 22nd, 2008 at 5:33 pm [Reply]

#185 Li’l Bunnë FooFoo –

I love spinnakers! The contrasting colors, the triangular shapes, the way texture of the flaky crust contrasts with the soft, warm filling — Wait. That’s spanakopita. Never mind.
Lloyd S.
October 22nd, 2008 at 5:34 pm [Reply]

I’m surprised #5 is the only one who seems to have noticed that today Mary’s eyes reveal her true undead/hellspawn nature. Or may she’s a raccoon woman who escaped from the Island of Dr. Moreau…
Dingo
October 22nd, 2008 at 5:40 pm [Reply]

Perhaps it’s just my failing eyes but I swear in panel one of today’s Mary Worth she’s offering up her vagina to Jeff on a platter and he’s rejecting it. Oh, Aldo, we miss you!
bats :[
October 22nd, 2008 at 5:44 pm [Reply]

183. Oh, quit jerkin’ our chains, Dingo. We all know Margo doesn’t have a soul.

190. gh: haw!
gh
October 22nd, 2008 at 5:48 pm [Reply]

#188 Angry Kem –

Two suggestions: 1) Give all your students a complete photocopied set of the slides and tell them to write down notes of what you’re saying under each point. T & D seminar gurus LOVE this! Of course, it’s exorbitantly expensive and no dept. chair (especially English dept. chair) will reimburse you for it, so you’re screwed. 2) Tell them if they bring in their little memory sticks they can download the whole [Margo]ing thing off your laptop, which will make them happy and give you the chance to tell them “if you want this set of slides for your own, you can just stick it!”

No comma splices were harmed in the making of this comment.
CanuckDownSouth
October 22nd, 2008 at 5:51 pm [Reply]

Dang, 188-Angry Kem, I am so glad that I’m not expected to use PowerPoint. And I can put it in my syllabus that I Do. Not. Hand. Out. My. Notes. If they don’t drop the class, they’re stuck taking their own margo-ing notes. If they even bother. I don’t know whom to worry about more: the students who write nothing down, or the students who write everything from my overheads, including the “we are not covering…” statements.

Now, scour the building for a good meterstick. If none is there, go beg one from a science hall – there are usually tons and they make great pointers.
Angry Kem
October 22nd, 2008 at 6:00 pm [Reply]

#194 gh: Well…that’s not really the point (it would be much easier for me to upload the slides than to photocopy them all and/or let students download them individually). The point is that they should, in fact, be able to write their own Margoing notes and not expect me to do all the work for them.

When I see students who are clearly bored and/or calmly engaging in their own whispered conversations instead of actually listening to what I am saying, I do not find it difficult to harden my heart against the people who e-mail me in a panic two hours before the midterm to ask me what will be on it.
Dingo
October 22nd, 2008 at 6:08 pm [Reply]

Angry Kem, I totally understand. I’ve actually made my living in part by creating PowerPoint presentations for over ten years. THIS in spite of the fact that I got a multimedia degree. Clients would say that they’d love a version in Director or Flash but… please just make it in PowerPoint so that it can be changed.

When I teach, I never post the damned slides online. I tell my students that the slides were made directly from the book unless I state that they aren’t. Still, they begin feverishly writing down everything from the slide. It happens everywhere.

Now I’m creating training videos for a slot machine manufacturer. This morning one of the project managers asked me if I could help him “spice up” a PowerPoint presentation. By the time I was done, he was cowering in the corner in urine-soaked slacks with a thumb in his mouth.

I’M THE MOTHERFUCKIN’ MARGO MAGEE OF POWERPOINT, PRINCESS, AND I DON’T TAKE PRISONERS.

Hmm… that should be on my business card.
Dingo
October 22nd, 2008 at 6:10 pm [Reply]

Angry Kem, practice these words when called two hours before the midterm and asked what will be on it:

“The first half of the semester.”

That put a fear of my darkened heart into many a student.
Gabacho
October 22nd, 2008 at 6:34 pm [Reply]

Angry Kem et al – First, Angry Kem, I am a delighted gabacho. Your essay on essays was brilliant and fun. Please “write” one on the use of “quotation marks” for “emphasis”. This is an even worse plague.

I too hate Powerpoints and have arrived at a point in my life where I am unafraid to say so.

The flip side of the Powerpoint demanding hordes is the Powerpoint reading moron. I recently left a meeting in protest over the reading aloud exercise.

Recently I was the only presenter at a conference who did not use Powerpoints. This was shocking and revolutionary. I noticed I got the most questions and the audience specifically asked if I could return that afternoon for further discussion. I did so happily.
commodorejohn
October 22nd, 2008 at 6:37 pm [Reply]

#178 CanuckDownSouth – Ah, but “prettty” Powerpoint and badly-colored Powerpoint are just different symptoms of the same disorder, which has at its heart the inability to realize that a simple, black-and-white slide of plain text in a readable font with appropriately-sized illustrations where necessary is perfectly adequate for conveying the relevant information (see also: Windows Vista, Flash-based websites, and just about anything from that horrid “multimedia” phase the entire civilized world went through in the mid-’90s.)

#182 gh – Trifocals? Wonderful, now I have a mental image to attach to your posts ;D

#188 AngryKem – “Oh…and I am so inept at PowerPoint that my slides tend to be nice and simple. I do not use animations because I don’t know how.”
In which case you are one of maybe a hundred people in the entire world who use Powerpoint well. Even if that stems from not knowing how to use it badly, you’re still a cut above most professors.
commodorejohn
October 22nd, 2008 at 6:39 pm [Reply]

#197 Dingo – *applauds heartily*
Zaq
October 22nd, 2008 at 7:47 pm [Reply]

Dingo, Kem et al., I agree wholeheartedly that powerpoint is often a blight upon the face of a lecture (or worse, discussion class). Of course, it’s just as terrible to have a professor who brings in a powerpoint (or other form of the same thing, such as overhead transparencies) and then reads the damn things to me without adding anything else. Not, of course, that I am accusing anyone here of doing so. Simply adding that hatred of powerpoints works in two directions.
CanuckDownSouth
October 22nd, 2008 at 7:58 pm [Reply]

200-cj Oh, they’re related disorders, definitely, but I was thinking of people who make their own figures from their data. More colours *can* be very helpful to distinguish items but only if the colours are chosen to be visible against the background! This is bad even if the rest of the slide is simple, B&W readable text…
commodorejohn
October 22nd, 2008 at 8:14 pm [Reply]

#203 CanuckDownSouth – Ah, gotcha.
tb4000
October 22nd, 2008 at 8:25 pm [Reply]

Luann: So, when the inevitable time comes when Brad and Toni end their relationship on bad terms, it won’t be because of “around the way girl” Toni or psycho Dirk, but Brad’s own paranoid fantasies that will do him in.
Red Greenback
October 22nd, 2008 at 8:26 pm [Reply]

I’m Lodi McLama, and I approve this passage.
True Fable
October 22nd, 2008 at 8:31 pm [Reply]

I personally prefer the ginormous drawing pads and squeaky markers so I can draw stick figures and make up shit off the top of my head. But then the actual lecturer comes in and I have to make a fast getaway.

Jurassic PowerPoint rules!
True Fable
October 22nd, 2008 at 8:36 pm [Reply]

Nothing like a lil’ ninja goat to round out a happy day!

Now in 3-D!!!
bats :[
October 22nd, 2008 at 8:38 pm [Reply]

197. Dingo: you know, I think I saw that guy at the El Cortez casino in downtown Las Vegas the last time we were there. Or it could’ve just been one of the local, colorful homeless folks.
(The El Cortez is muy loco — one of the oldest, skuzzy casinos in town, the hotel lobby faces west, and all of the plate glass windows have a deep amber coating on them…I bet that looks really hellish in the summer when the temperatures outside are around 110. Maybe it’s an incentive for folks to stay inside the El Cortez and play the slots there.)
Mr. O'Malley
October 22nd, 2008 at 8:39 pm [Reply]

Michael Alley’s The Craft of Scientific Presentations (note I am obediently using italics) makes the point that the space shuttle Challenger disaster can be partially attributed to badly designed presentation slides. He reproduces the slides in the book and I agree that it would be virtually impossible to extract any meaningful information from them.

Like most of the better books on presentation design, it comes down on the side of simple, uncluttered, readable slides. In scientific presentations there is frequently the need to present a body of numerical information, and the question is whether it would be better in a table or a graph, and what sort of graph. Edward Tufte is the guru in this field.

Projected Powerpoint slides do have an advantage over overhead transparencies or drawing on the board in certain areas, because for some topics it is possible to construct animated diagrams that make your points very clear. For example, suppose you wanted to show how a city has used landfill to alter its waterfront over the years, or how a message travels through a computer network. In these cases a Powerpoint animation could be very helpful.

A moderate use of color may be helpful in distinguishing between different types of text. A lot of text editors for software will do this. Of course you have to keep in mind that some people are colorblind, so it shouldn’t be the only indicator.
Red Greenback
October 22nd, 2008 at 8:51 pm [Reply]

Truman, I absolutely adore the Now in 3-D!!! goat photo! Looking at that image, I can imagine the Three Stooges “Hello-Hello-Hello… HELLO!!!” as sung by Jerry Lewis, of course.
Mr. O'Malley
October 22nd, 2008 at 9:02 pm [Reply]

gh and Angry Kem. One thing you can do is print out your slides for the semester and arrange with a copy shop to make and bind copies to sell to students. People did this long before PowerPoint, in the form of course readers. Some universities have facilities to do this on campus, but if not, there are usually businesses near campus that will do it. It does require you to have the entire set of slides for the whole semester ready at the start, though.

Students would rather get the slides for free, naturally.

You should never let students put their flash drives in your computer, because there are viruses that propagate this way, as I can attest by experience. Or at least make sure that you have Autorun disabled when you do.

Angry Kem. Thanks for the tip. I shall search downtown for sausage rolls next time I’m in Toronto (humming Les Barker’s “Down With the Sausage Roll” as I do so).
geogeek
October 22nd, 2008 at 9:33 pm [Reply]

Oh, the powerpoint debate! I use some to teach with, primarily photos or satellite images. The only text is the reference for the image, though in some cases I use big arrows to point at something. I use almost no text slides. I love drawing on the board, and get pretty good results when I “go commando” – just me and the white board markers and 15-24 people who claim to dislike science.

I guess I mostly use Powerpoint as a replacement for a slide projector.
Scott
October 22nd, 2008 at 9:47 pm [Reply]

I sure like your posts. You sure get alot of comments too.
Comics, the short version of reality.
KA
October 22nd, 2008 at 10:15 pm [Reply]

Angry Kem, CanuckDownSouth, commodorejohn, et al., you have collectively made my night. I’m happy to use technology for worthwhile purposes; but the gratuitous use of gadgets and gizmos drives me nuts. I’ve been criticized by colleagues for not “embracing” classroom technology. Thanks, but I’ll save my embraces for my loved ones.
Brick Bradford
October 23rd, 2008 at 9:03 am [Reply]

Oh, where to start? Where to start?
JP Sam’s relief that sex will not be asked of him is palpable.

A3G In other words, “get out of here so I can start slamming back the Stoli”.

GT Horsing around in the locker room with the boys is the most fun this guy has ever had? How very sad. I’m sure Trish feels the same way since he’s blathering about this instead of jumping her bones.

MF It’s funny because Tina Fey and Sarah Palin look alike.

MW Jeff is no doubt sorry he brought it up.

Six Chix I’ve had that very same thought when offered the senior discount.

Luann Brad, I don’t think any woman has ever found such massive insecurity attractive.
Brick Bradford
October 23rd, 2008 at 9:08 am [Reply]

Oh, and PBS was sublime today, simply sublime.
Hit her hard, pitcher!
Filthy Assistant
October 24th, 2008 at 10:14 am [Reply]

I thought Jeffy was saying that the pizza was shitty because she microwaved it. OH FAMILY CIRCUS, WHAT CAN’T YOU MAKE UNINTENTIONALLY CONFUSING?

Nothing. Nothing at all.

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