The Comics Curmudgeon

Main content:

Pluggers love Lucy, and misery

Archie, 10/30/08

Today’s Archie reveals just how primitive the AJGLU 3000’s graphics subsystem is. Rather than portraying a pizza box as a collection of surfaces and enclosed foodstuffs that can wobble, flop open in mid-air, and splatter pepperoni, sauce, and grease everywhere to hilarious effect, it instead assumes that it is a simple, monolithic object that flies into the living room serenely, describing a perfect parabola before miraculously coming to rest in Jughead’s hands. I’d guess that whole system is based on Atari System 2 hardware, which explains the mysterious paperboy reference.

Hi and Lois, 10/30/08

I was going to go into a diatribe about how it’s silly that Ditto is regarding his lunch with wide-eyed shock in panel one seeing as it’s (a) one that he packed himself and (b) awesome, but then I caught sight of those two … brown … things in panel two. Are we supposed to assume that those are his two candy bars, both of which he carefully unwrapped and then set down on the lunch table to enjoy later? Yes, yes, let’s assume that, please.

Spider-Man, 10/30/08

You have to give the creators of the newspaper Spider-Man credit for always exploring new frontiers of total lameness on the part of their characters. In one corner, we have Big Time, a criminal mastermind so committed to his laughable clock theme that he has some sort of clock-shaped pop-gun that spits out its minute hand as ammunition and is thus presumably useless after two shots; and in the other, we have the Amazing Spider-Man, who boasts of his “spider reflexes,” which will help him dodge a projectile that hasn’t managed to cover about three feet of space in the time its taken him to thought-balloon a sentence and a half — only to have said reflexes completely disabled by a loud noise. Determining the winner in this battle will be like a philosophical conundrum: can an object with no mass be moved by an infinitely weak force?

Pluggers, 10/30/08

Pluggers know it’s cheapest just to get plastered at home, in front of the TV set.

This entry was posted on Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 02:12 pm and is filed under Archie, Hi and Lois, Pluggers, Spider-Man.

190 responses to “Pluggers love Lucy, and misery”

Dingo
October 30th, 2008 at 2:16 pm [Reply]

A slow-motion second in the life of Spider-Man? That’s ALL it is!
Lettuce
October 30th, 2008 at 2:17 pm [Reply]

BUT WHY is the Plugger WEARING A BATHROBE TO WATCH an “I LOVE LUCY” happy hour! WHHHYYYY??? And, since it’s a dog, commenting on a “hot dog” I’ve officially gone somewhere my brain can never take back.
Lettuce
October 30th, 2008 at 2:20 pm [Reply]

Maybe Comic Strip Peter Parker was bitten by a spider that was genetically spliced with my stereotypical Jewish mother, and thus he can spin webs any size, capture thieves just like flies, and Worry and Compliain endlessly at both the speed of light AND at the scene of the crime.
Sunny Paris
October 30th, 2008 at 2:20 pm [Reply]

#2 I see your point.

Happy hours are generally early in the evening, correct? When bars need to have drink specials in order to lure customers. Which means that this particular canine is so depressed that he doesn’t even bother to get dressed for the day. Why else would he be wearing a bathrobe at 5 in the afternoon?

Pluggers: Depressed, naked, TV addicted drunks
AMSTERDANG
October 30th, 2008 at 2:26 pm [Reply]

Jesus Fuck! Every panel of the Phantom strip for the last month has been so fucking boring!*

*IN THE BANDAR TONGUE
Gene
October 30th, 2008 at 2:32 pm [Reply]

When is this Pluggers nonsense going to end!!???!?!?!! It’s not funny. It’s never been funny. It’s never going to be funny. As Kay said in Godfather II, “This must all end” so I want you to get up right now, sit up, go to your windows, open them and stick your head out and yell – ‘I’m as mad as hell and I’m not going to take this anymore!’
Josh
October 30th, 2008 at 2:33 pm [Reply]

#2, #4 — Wait, are you saying that there’s something wrong with still being in your robe at (checks clock) 2:30 in the afternoon? By your logic, all bloggers and work-at-home types are “Depressed, naked, TV addicted drunks”. I’m here to tell you that I am not a TV addict.

Josh
spookycatlady
October 30th, 2008 at 2:34 pm [Reply]

What’s the plugger doing with a digital cable box? Shouldn’t the TV be connected to a satellite dish the size of a Chrysler? Or using bunny ears? Or instead one of those old timey radios with nobs and dials and what-not? Or a book? Or wax tablets? Or a OxyContin/Two Buck Chuck induced hallucination? Maybe I just don’t understand Pluggers at all.
Phred22
October 30th, 2008 at 2:35 pm [Reply]

Jughead’s world can’t be the one I know. Where I live, every pizza delivery guy will be exercising his abilities toward getting my money, especially the part that is his tip.
Anson Pants
October 30th, 2008 at 2:41 pm [Reply]

Those two brown things Ditto set down next to his lunch box are turds. What else could they possibly be ?
lorne
October 30th, 2008 at 2:42 pm [Reply]

I was hoping Josh would address today’s Crankshaft. Maybe I’m missing something, but between yesterday’s Bergmanesque gathering clouds and this morning’s cheerful raking by the gravestones, I believe Batiuk is on the verge of killing off the ‘Shaft (again).
AbbeyRoad
October 30th, 2008 at 2:44 pm [Reply]

Big time also seems to be channeling Flavor Flav in panel one here. The only difference is that I find Flavor Flav way scarier.
Holden
October 30th, 2008 at 2:44 pm [Reply]

I want to know more about Ditto’s new-age therapist-looking coffee-drinking buddy.
Comrade Denny
October 30th, 2008 at 2:45 pm [Reply]

BB: Are we really supposed to believe that Sarge thinks Otto a difficult eater? The half-lidded look of depression on Sarge’s face belies the farce… he must consider Otto a finicky eater if he’s to continue to displace onto to food his homosexual desires, i.e. Sarge eats a lot ’cause he’s gay for Beetle.

FC: …And how come this Soylent Green tastes like Vick’s VapoRub and mothballs?

Heathcliff: Apparently the Halloween Hoagie is served with “Deli’s” famous LSD-sauce.

Tarzan: Yes. We get it. The native tribes of “Tarzanland” are ruled by the religiously fanatical and superstitious Obia-men. The sheiks, I mean “chiefs” don’t make a move without permission from their Obia-men. Therefore, Tarzan, the Navajos, and a coalition of the willing chiefs must depose the Obia-men so that the the natives can become more civilized and whatnot.

Can we get to Tarzan shocking and awing the Obia-men already? Oh, and while we’re at it, can the shock and awe involve apes, you know, the creatures over which Tarzan is supposedly the lord?
Rusty
October 30th, 2008 at 2:48 pm [Reply]

I enjoy getting plastered by the tv in late evening. I even have an easy chair, that nobody sits in, but I refuse to move it 3 feet from the screen and ruin the room’s feng shui.
Mr. Jones
October 30th, 2008 at 2:49 pm [Reply]

It’s been many years since I picked up a Spiderman comic book, but here’s my 2 cents.

By “spider reflexes”, it’s supposed to mean that he moves at crucial times using his INSTINCTS. He doesn’t dodge machine-gun fire by thinking to himself “there is bullet 1… duck… here comes bullet 2… flip…”. Combined with his spider-sense, he doesn’t even have to see the objects he’s dodging. He just DOES IT.
ESJ
October 30th, 2008 at 2:50 pm [Reply]

When killing spiders, I’ve always found that making a loud ringing noise disables their Matrix-like reflexes. Or maybe it’s the shoe I’m using to crush them. That also works.
shMerker
October 30th, 2008 at 2:51 pm [Reply]

The AJGLU has started to steal from webcomics. Today’s strip rips off from Kristopher Straub’s Chainsawsuit. Naturally the gag has been sanitized for the delicate sensibilities of newspaper editors, but still, it was a nice try.

Lucky lucky thing for big time he’s firing his clock gun at 8:45 and not 3:15.
Isaac
October 30th, 2008 at 2:52 pm [Reply]

Spiderman: “Agh! Sound! My only weakness!”
Splinky
October 30th, 2008 at 2:52 pm [Reply]

Radioactive or not, I’m pretty sure that the spider that bit comic strip Peter Parker was the one that used to get his ass kicked by all the other spiders, as that appears to be the only ability that Spider-Man has inherited from it.
Splinky
October 30th, 2008 at 2:52 pm [Reply]

Radioactive or not, I’m pretty sure that the spider that bit comic strip Peter Parker was the one that used to get his ass kicked by all the other spiders, as that appears to be the only ability that Spider-Man has inherited from it.
Lettuce
October 30th, 2008 at 2:55 pm [Reply]

Josh: Yes. I don’t care how big of a blogstar you are, the 2:30pm bathrobe is up there with “spending too much time on the CB” and “frantically refreshing FBOFW.com to see if Lynn changed her mind again” as reasons to up the meds.
Lithros
October 30th, 2008 at 2:57 pm [Reply]

To the untrained eye, this plugger is exclaiming his excitement over I Love Lucy. Actually, though, he’s declaring his intention to change the channel to watch a “hot dog”…in other words, canine porn. I guess Pluggers isn’t as wholesome as we thought!
odinthor
October 30th, 2008 at 3:05 pm [Reply]

Wasn’t it Oscar Wilde who said, “The only thing worse than sitting in front of the monitor or TV set at 2:30 PM in a robe is sitting in front of the monitor or TV set at 2:30 PM not in a robe”?

No? OK.
Li’l Bunnë FooFoo
October 30th, 2008 at 3:09 pm [Reply]

H&L: Those two brown oblongs on the table by Ditto do NOT look like any candy bars I know. They look like… yeah, I’ll say it… hot dogs. *SHUDDER*
Austin
October 30th, 2008 at 3:11 pm [Reply]

#11: I took that to mean that Crankshaft is raking up his leaves in a pile around a boulder, so that when the young kids go to dive into a rather robust looking pile of leaves they will break their neck/coccyx (depending on if they dove head- or ass-first).

Bottom line: the ‘Shaft is an evil old man. This is probably one of the meanest things I’ve seen him do in the strip.
Poteet
October 30th, 2008 at 3:12 pm [Reply]

S-M — Peter Parker, I’ve researched spiders. I’ve watched spiders. You, sir, are no spider. And even for a human, you’re lame.
Mac
October 30th, 2008 at 3:12 pm [Reply]

Why does Ditto look so surprised in panel one? Was he expecting the lunch he packed to metamorphose into a balanced meal? Or is he just stupid? He’s just stupid, isn’t he.
Calico
October 30th, 2008 at 3:13 pm [Reply]

Poor Peter Parker would not make it through the first side of Dark Side of the Moon.
Haha, a new secret weapon!

What is it with this pizza obsession in the comics as of late? FW, FC, and now Archie…I’m surprised Marmadork hasn’t offed a few pizza delivery folks and stolen their pies…after devouring said delivery guys, of course.
Amateur
October 30th, 2008 at 3:16 pm [Reply]

Re: Archie — not only that, but the pizza miraculously comes to rest in Jughead’s hands even though he was standing behind the door watching it whiz past him. A split second in Archie-time must be as long as a split second in Spider-Man-time.
Calico
October 30th, 2008 at 3:21 pm [Reply]

#10 – I think poor little Ditto is going down the Kyle Broflovsky-Mr. Hanky insanity route. The kid is clearly turning into a fecophiliac.
ScienceGiant
October 30th, 2008 at 3:21 pm [Reply]

#1 Dingo’s right. What do you mean A slow-motion second in the life of Spider-Man?

It’s been slo-mo since March. Of 1963 that is!
Calico
October 30th, 2008 at 3:22 pm [Reply]

Or is that fecalphiliac?
In any case, gross.
(Refer to Caddyshack as well)
messybessy
October 30th, 2008 at 3:31 pm [Reply]

Yes, it is getting to be that time of year where the Don’t Get Plowed signs are going up all over Illinios highways. I love their Plugger sense of humor.
Idols of Mud
October 30th, 2008 at 3:32 pm [Reply]

Spider-Man: I don’t know what’s odder: That Spider-Man is fighting Robert Evans, or that Robert Evans has the advantage.
Poteet
October 30th, 2008 at 3:32 pm [Reply]

Even if those were candy bars, completely unwrapping them and laying them on the table to stare at is weird. And I’m a chocoholic.
David
October 30th, 2008 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

Hi and Lois: He can fit all that in Hi’s laptop?
Ned Ryerson
October 30th, 2008 at 3:36 pm [Reply]

I think other kid in Hi & Lois is like the Tony Roberts to Ditto’s Woody Allen. (I also very much admire his Purina lunchbox.)
Mars
October 30th, 2008 at 3:37 pm [Reply]

This doesn’t make any sense because sound is Venom’s weakness, not Spider-Man’s. Maybe Mr. Lee got them confused…and since he didn’t even invent Venom, that’s interesting.
teddytoad
October 30th, 2008 at 3:37 pm [Reply]

At least I can relate to Spider-man in this strip. Not only do I hate clock alarms as well, but if someone fired a clock-shaped gun at me, my first thought would not be the standard, “Oh sh*t, he’s shooting at me!” but the more baffled “He fired a clock-shaped gun at me!” then pause, looooong pause, “What an absolute douchebag.“
Tabby
October 30th, 2008 at 3:39 pm [Reply]

#18 OMG! I’ll never look at 3:15 the same way again!
tj
October 30th, 2008 at 3:44 pm [Reply]

Am I to understand that only pluggers watch “I Love Lucy” or their so broke they can’t afford booze or that they use expressions such as “hot dog”. In any case its not funny.
Zaq
October 30th, 2008 at 3:45 pm [Reply]

34 messybessy: “Don’t Get Plowed?” I assume it’s supposed to mean “don’t stand in the street while the snowplow runs over you, you moron,” (or else, I suppose, “this here street ain’t gonna get plowed, so don’t expect to use it for the next couple of months,” but it seems to me that any street minor enough that nobody would bother to clear the snow off of it wouldn’t warrant its own sign warning people of this fact) but now I’m wondering what else “to get plowed” means, because it clearly means something else. The two obvious answers, of course, are alcohol and sex (like everything else), as in “I got really plowed at the bar last night, and the hangover’s so bad I’m still in my bathrobe at 2:30″ or “That girl really just needs to get plowed, and I’m just the guy to do it.” I can’t tell which is better, or which is more likely to be used by a human being. Or if there’s a third meaning I’m just not catching because I’m too hung up on alcohol and sex (and, naturally, whether that’s necessarily a bad thing).

Hooray for chronic overthinking!
AhClem
October 30th, 2008 at 3:52 pm [Reply]

#8 spookycatlady -
The standard Plugger TV reception system consists of a decrepit set of rabbit ears, with one antenna missing and replaced by an un-bent coat hanger, and the other antenna broken but with an elongated lump of aluminum foil on the end.
papa zita
October 30th, 2008 at 3:53 pm [Reply]

Pluggers: I really don’t want to know what a plugger does when TV Land has those Lucy marathons that run for 6-8 hours. I have a feeling it’s rather sticky and messy.
Seismic-2
October 30th, 2008 at 3:57 pm [Reply]

#4 Sunny Paris: Just because the Plugger is getting plastered, I see no reason to assume that it is the late afternoon Happy Hour. The Plugger could very well be sitting in his bathrobe in front of the TV at midnight (which is a more likely time of day for an “I Love Lucy” marathon), having his own private Happy Hour and getting plastered. As the song says, “It’s 5 O’Clock Somewhere“, and to Pluggers, time of day is often a rather irrelevant concept. That’s why a Plugger can whoop the living daylights out of Spiderman, who is disabled by the sound of an alarm clock, rather like Superman’s being totally wiped out by an inert green rock.

On the other hand, maybe the Plugger is simply delusional, and he thinks he is Hugh Hefner.
MrP
October 30th, 2008 at 3:58 pm [Reply]

Hey, Spider-Man writers? You’re not doing anything new with the strip, so you really have no excuse not to simply narrate facts like the “spider-reflexes” and “loud ringing” in separate panels, rather than have Spidey think at a rate of 2,6 words per one tenth of a second.
papa zita
October 30th, 2008 at 4:01 pm [Reply]

H&L: The big eyes are because Ditto realized when he got up in the morning, he packed his lunch, shat in his lunchbox, closed the lid and went to school. He’s secretly thrilled, but puzzled. I bet when he packed that lunch, Ditto was in a fugue state from Hi and Lois doping him with Ambien so they could go to their next sex party.
Pirate Fella
October 30th, 2008 at 4:05 pm [Reply]

Apparently, Jughead’s pizza guy doesn’t require payment, either. So we’ve got him, Big Time’s pathetic “clock gun”, and Ditto’s godlike ability to materialize two turds, a coffee mug, and Pac-Man’s rotting corpse. Today could pretty much be dumbed down to “people with idiotic superpowers” day on the funny pages.
Nimrod Gently
October 30th, 2008 at 4:10 pm [Reply]

Clearly when he says “Hot Dog” he’s describing himself at the sight of the white-trash-Furry version of Lucille Ball.

I have to burn myself after typing that sentence.
spike
October 30th, 2008 at 4:15 pm [Reply]

#44 AhClem: You’ve described the contraption used by hundreds to keep the aliens from reading their thoughts!

FW: Is that supposed to be an 18-year-old Funky in the first two panels? Doesn’t look anything like the original or even the dude from the first ten-year time jump. TB certainly doesn’t beleive in continuity.
Steve S
October 30th, 2008 at 4:19 pm [Reply]

No comment on Lois being a negligent mother? “Overslept” is clearly code for “hangover” or possibly “post-meth crash.” Her downward spiral continues…
Muffaroo
October 30th, 2008 at 4:26 pm [Reply]

Archie – Hey! Jughead gets his pizza delivered in Hi’s laptop!

AD – “I sure hope you didn’t strain yourself on that one.” Yeah, because straining at that sort of thing causes hemorrhoids.

Blondie – Does Dagwood think he’d be better off without Dithers? The new boss will probably be the PHB from Dilbert. Or the balding backstabber from Sally Forth. As cartoon bosses go, Dithers is sane and manageable.

Cshaft – It’s a pity to spoil his senescent joy, but he should have thought of that gag when he still had enough leaves in his yard to cover the rock.

TRAZE-R Apparently there’s a third robot on the scene now. Some loose cannon called “Big Trouble.” (I thought he was in Little China. Or perhaps River City.) I’m relieved. I thought the robots we’ve had up to now were just going to talk each other to death. (”Gttng sleepy…”)

JParker – For a second, it looked like Dixie Julep had smacked into Sam’s door.

MFmore – Day Four of this week’s talking point. I guess Tinsley knows how long it takes his intended audience to catch on. Man, they’ll be laughing on Saturday. (So do you suppose he’s done two versions of the dailies for Wednesday through Saturday of next week, or is he just going to pretend the election isn’t happening?)
Muffaroo
October 30th, 2008 at 4:27 pm [Reply]

MTrail – Okay, the not-so-romantic interlude is over. Now Mark can get back to other important business. The To-Do list on his fridge has “Raccoongate” and “The Mystery of the Arid Swamp” up on it. No wonder he hates facial hair. It’s all that separates him from the pluggers.

Marfield – I was thinking that when I re-did my Chronicle line-up, I had somehow forgotten Marvin. Because I never have any recollection of having read it. Note to self: You did read it, it was just singularly forgettable. As always.

MWorth – First Rose, then Mark Trail, now this: looks like animation in comic strips is a hot trend.

Momma – Momma’s going to faint from her daughter’s news? I think she needs to see a doctor. She was standing in front of a perfectly good oven, and it was all ready for her to stick her head in it. Doesn’t she care any more?

Pluggers – Ahhhh! Proof positive I am not a plugger. Thanks, guys! Thanks Brookins! Thanks Fred Klein, of Orange Beach, AL!!

Popeye – Now that Swee’Pea has his unstoppable killing machine, we can proceed to the next adventure, “Swee’Pocalypse Now!”
Chris the Third Baseman
October 30th, 2008 at 4:30 pm [Reply]

I’m wondering if Ditto got those Baby Ruths from the pool in “Caddyshack.” In other news, Gunther is touching Lu Ann’s ass one day, and the next day Lu Ann is dancing the Fandango in Brad’s face. So when did the DeGroots move to West Virginia? What’s next Brad, Luann, and Toni Daytona as a threesome? now that I think about it, I’m game!
Skullturf Q. Beavispants
October 30th, 2008 at 4:31 pm [Reply]

When I read Archie this morning, I thought “I hope Josh comments on this one!” This is a particularly glaring example of a joke that reads as though it was written by a computer. Even disregarding the absurdly perfect arc the pizza box travels in, let’s take a minute to observe the basic structure of the joke.

Newspapers and pizzas are two examples of things that are delivered to your house. However, they are often delivered in different manners, since a rolled-up newspaper is not adversely affected by spinning or being upside down, whereas a box containing a pizza is.

It really truly does seem like a joke written by an artificial intelligence program, based solely on “inappropriate substitution” = “funny”. The joke might as well be “Hey Jughead, why are you eating ice cream?” “Because it’s cold outside!” Or how about “Why is that man eating his pizza with a screwdriver?” “Because he’s a mechanic!”
DeGroot of All Evil
October 30th, 2008 at 4:33 pm [Reply]

Someone please explain to me why today’s Ziggy features a toaster exclaiming, “Live long and prosper.” It broke my brain.
Muffaroo
October 30th, 2008 at 4:34 pm [Reply]

PCity – Remember this day! Your descendants will ask you what you were doing on The Day Stantis Drew Four Different Panels! Four wholly different drawings of the adventures of some kind of Scotty dog. When they ask me, I’ll say I was staring in disbelief.

RMMD – Rex is going to chuckle to himself in a few days when he’s filling out the cause of death on a form and writes in “Keeled over.”

R=R – Giving a character a speech pattern where ordinary words are misspelled in ways that don’t affect the pronunciation only worked with Lotsa Luck in Tumbleweeds, because it made him sound like an idiot, as he was meant to. It has the same effect here, of course, but I question whether that was intended. In thought balloons, at that.

6Chix – Political humor? Political, yes. Humor, no.

SBump – Just noting that I did this gag in 1974. Not that anybody saw it, of course, but I can’t resist.

S-Man – Thoughts really can go by at this rate. What get me is when the Flash is outrunning a bullet, and carrying on a conversation with the shooter.

“Ha ha! I’m shooting a gun at you!”
“That gun! It’s firing some sort of… bullet-shaped projectile!”
“Ha ha! That bullet will spell your doom, Scarlet Speedster!”
“That’s what you think! Super speed, don’t fail me now!”
“Oh, heck! You’re swerving to avoid the bullet! Darn you!”
“That’s right, bad guy! And now I’m going to chase you around unconvincingly for four more panels!”

Ziggy – The closest I can come to a rationale that would make this any sort of identifiable humor would be if Ziggy had a pointed head with a bow on it and was wearing a yellow muu-muu with red polka dots. And, as many here will attest, that works less and less of the time.
Gal Friday
October 30th, 2008 at 4:34 pm [Reply]

17, 18, 19, 20, 27–LOL, great Spidey snarks!
Muffaroo
October 30th, 2008 at 4:35 pm [Reply]

NYCC – Not sure if the same one is up, but a couple of days back, I entered with “It’s really true. You guys can smell failure!”

Splinky @20 & 21 – Yeah, you double posted, but it was still a pretty good crack.
Dr. Weird
October 30th, 2008 at 4:42 pm [Reply]

#57 DeGroot – Clearly Tom WIlson’s brain broke before yours did. I mean, there’s nothing that logical about toast, is there?
Mariko
October 30th, 2008 at 4:42 pm [Reply]

S-M: If this is leading up to a chase scene where Big Time has to run from a still-recovering Spidey, and if Big Time, while running, calls out for his cronies by saying “Hi there!,” and if they, in response, say “He’s on his way!” and “He’s making it!”–then all will be forgiven.
Jeremiah
October 30th, 2008 at 4:52 pm [Reply]

First, a cloud of waves took out Santa Royale Airpark & Curio Shop, and now Mary has arrived to find that her old friend has cloned his daughter to create an army of Figure Skaters of Doom. This story is really shaping up!
Stranger...
October 30th, 2008 at 4:57 pm [Reply]

Pluggers – That’s obviously a Porn version of “I Love Lucy”… Probably the bestiality episode…
Steve the Pocket
October 30th, 2008 at 4:57 pm [Reply]

Dennis: Actually there is. It’s called “any set with a V-chip” and… you know what, nevermind.

Hagar: But why is the rum gone?!?

The Federal Duck: This comic continues to baffle me. So, the implication is that female Obama supporters are the kind of man-hating uberfeminists who assume every person of the male persuasion is coming on to them? Even if it’s a child?

The Wizard of Id: In addition to earning my Actually Pretty Good Award for today, this makes me really wish newspaper comics had mouseover text like webcomics do. Then we could be treated to: “Don’t tell me… Adam and Eve? Oh, Adam and Lilith. How original!”

Re #7: Hmmmm. Come to think of it, has anyone ever suggested making a parody comic called “Bloggers”?
Andy Panderer
October 30th, 2008 at 4:58 pm [Reply]

S-M – Loud noises are the Venom symbiote’s weakness, not Spiderman’s. Jesus K. Rist Stan Lee, you had a cameo in it, didn’t you see Spiderman 3?
Stranger...
October 30th, 2008 at 4:59 pm [Reply]

Ziggy – That’s probably a “Spock Tart”
Annon
October 30th, 2008 at 4:59 pm [Reply]

Luann Seriously, what else would Brad say??
“Wow, Luann! You look really hot?” Oh wait. Brad is gay. So he could totally say that.
Stranger...
October 30th, 2008 at 5:00 pm [Reply]

#67 – Upon re-reading that, I’m truly ashamed for having written it…
Dingo
October 30th, 2008 at 5:02 pm [Reply]

Much more than the two turds resting next to his lunchbox, Ditto’s fully-buttoned shirt — in school — displays the unfortunate aftermath of being the “unchosen” twin. If Dot were real and I ran into her on the street, I’d put the car in reverse and run into her again. She’s grating, annoying, and destined to be the 400-lb woman watching “her stories” while eating frosting out of the can. Poor Ditto just wants to be a normal boy but that little harridan and his mother won’t allow it. The collar on his shirt is proof positive of the strangulation this poor boy feels each day of his existence. The iconic “shit-food” reveals his status within the family. Lo, that a neighborhood do-gooder would grab the boy and take him away to a better life.
Nyborg
October 30th, 2008 at 5:05 pm [Reply]

There was a previous Pluggers installment with the caption “Plugger happy hour” showing a dog-man passed out on the couch with a book on his chest, so I imagine that Brookins wrote this one in response to a flood of letters from pluggers angry about the suggestion that they enjoy reading
Blueberry
October 30th, 2008 at 5:06 pm [Reply]

Correction: Panel three of today’s Mark Trail comic strip should read, “Charlie…HOW did you get in?” King Features Syndicate regrets the error.
Alfred E. Neuman
October 30th, 2008 at 5:08 pm [Reply]

RMMD— Landlubber Rex will soon bring real trouble to himself by a well-meaning but inept attempt to help Ollie Tweaks retrieve his keel. He will ask some nearby sailors for a “keel haul”.
–Snerk–
Sometimes I crack myself up.
Beatrice
October 30th, 2008 at 5:15 pm [Reply]

Family Circus: Well, Jeffy, Mommy could coat your carrots with an orange glaze, steam them with ginger root, stir-fry them with jalapenos and onions … the problem here is not with carrots, per se, but with Thel’s insipid and repetitive cookery. Oh, wait, does arsenic count as a flavor ?
Dingo
October 30th, 2008 at 5:20 pm [Reply]

I refuse to believe panel three of Mark Trail. What man in a blue suit sits down in a chair and leaves the jacket buttoned?

If Charlie really wants Sue Butler to know his feelings, he’d be straddling that chair bucknaked, his erect penis swatting the hairs on his chest and his testicles indenting the cushion. If he’s as Republican as that haircut, he could always cover his private bits with the Elrod ball.
the crock
October 30th, 2008 at 5:25 pm [Reply]

Hi can’t remember peoples names from wild acid fuelled partys, trips out at work, and then he and his wife get into such a neon sex-crazed stupor that they can’t make their children’s lunch?

If A3G is any indication – someone’s getting shot soon.
dale
October 30th, 2008 at 5:28 pm [Reply]

Gil Thorp
Just for the record, let me here record, for the sake of posteriority, that – Gil has the medical problem.
Somehow, Dr. Wally Lamb (a Wally Lamb seems to be a real novelist) detected from afar that Gil had a medical problem. Not caring enough about the event to bring his own binoculars, he has to borrow a crappy pair from some guy nearby and zeroes in on the problem. Wally evades security (How, white man.), dashes onto the field, and saves the day OR the real cops beat the shit out of him.
Angry Kem
October 30th, 2008 at 5:33 pm [Reply]

I haven’t read any of the comments or any of the comics or anything, and I have a headache, and I was up until 4:00 a.m. marking, and I have just now finished my medieval thing, and I’m sure everything is very funny, but I’m going to have to come back later, when I don’t want to chew walls. I’m not even finished work for today. Life is stupid. Am I turning into Crankshaft? Am I?
PeteMoss
October 30th, 2008 at 5:41 pm [Reply]

Is Ditto packing his lunch in Hi’s laptop?
Li’l Bunnë FooFoo
October 30th, 2008 at 5:42 pm [Reply]

Calico, #33
The word is “coprophilia”. You gotta match your greek roots and suffixes, lest you end up with a word like “homosexual”. (Or “heterosexual”.)

I was an a gallery opening, and one of the pieces was a print called “In the Hall of Coprophilia”, and I thought, hmm! What does that word mean? I must remember to look it up when I get home. (The imagery was not helpful in understanding the word.) So I went home and looked it up, and thought, I guess it’s just as well I didn’t know what that word meant when I was looking at the picture.

When I read The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (repeatedly) as a child, I always thought “micturation” was a made up word. Nope. It doesn’t make Vogon poetry any better to know what it means.
thatquietkid
October 30th, 2008 at 5:42 pm [Reply]

Sue, you need to either fire your maid, or tell her not to let in angry mustachioed men in the house while you’re away.

Also, I already know what’s going to happen: Charlie will see the flowers the little girl gave Sue, and be so jealous that he’s going to do her what he does to innocent potted plants.
Eau de Plugger
October 30th, 2008 at 5:43 pm [Reply]

I’m surprised that no one has mentioned today’s Garfield strip. This will haunt my dreams.
tommy
October 30th, 2008 at 5:48 pm [Reply]

In case you ever thought Spiderman’s plot was moving too quickly, you can now be bored in Matrix-style bullet-time.
Stroker Ace
October 30th, 2008 at 5:52 pm [Reply]

H & L – Ditto loves Gerber flavored ‘Trixie Stix’.
Seismic-2
October 30th, 2008 at 5:52 pm [Reply]

FC: Jeffy, ask Mommy to share with you some of the sugar-cube candy that she swallows several times a day. It won’t make the carrots taste any different, but it will make them come in lots of different colors and shapes.
Dingo
October 30th, 2008 at 5:57 pm [Reply]

#78 Angry Kem: Go home, put on some fluffy slippers, and masturbate to an Enya album. Then, you’ll be Crankshaft.
Violet
October 30th, 2008 at 6:07 pm [Reply]

The caption in today’s Marmaduke is clearly in response to the statement “Oh my god, the Hitlers’ bloodthirsty hell-hound just tore one of your friends’ still-beating heart from his chest, paraded around the room clutching the grisly trophy in his slavering jaws, devoured his entrails, and buried the blood-smeared bones among the sofa cushions!”
Calico
October 30th, 2008 at 6:09 pm [Reply]

#80 – Thanks for the, um, clarification! : D

Kem – It’s Thursday-a totally normal state of mind for this not-here-not-quite-there day.
Hooray for Friday!
Dagger
October 30th, 2008 at 6:12 pm [Reply]

We shouldn’t be too hard on Crankshaft for raking leaves around a boulder so that any youngster seeking to jump into it will shatter some of their bones. After all, I’m sure the first piles he was thinking of had bear traps and HIV-infected needles in them.
True Fable
October 30th, 2008 at 6:12 pm [Reply]

Curtis Good lord, Barry whines and squalls at every normal big brother insult tossed at him, and it’s annoying as hell. Shoot, my sisters used to rank on me ten times worse than this, and I never got all batshit crazy over it or tattled. I got even by topping their insults with my own self-derision, and they finally gave up because they couldn’t out-rank me.

Barry, grow some balls.

FC When is Jeffy going to describe the taste of that small brown shoe on his plate?
FW Wait just a fucking minute! Did Funky Winkerbean really have a crew cut when he graduated? What happened to his mop of hair? And he was FAT?!?! I think Batiuk’s got some heavy reunion issues, among others.
JP Sam says the “L” word – oh, of course it’s not ‘lust’. Meanwhile, gee; I wonder who is knocking on his door while he’s all wet and in his bathrobe? …Dingo? Is that you?
Luann No honey, that’s ‘Bow chicka bow-wow’.
MW Masky McDeath’s younger sister, Twisty McCorpse.
MG&G Next: Grimmy visits the University of Oklahoma and gets run over by the Sooner Schooner.
Phantom “Yeah, bury him deep!*” *in the Bandar tongue!
RMMW But fortunately for us, June’s fore and aft are as fine as ever.
Seismic-2
October 30th, 2008 at 6:19 pm [Reply]

Ziggy: Tom Wilson just didn’t draw it right.
Lisa
October 30th, 2008 at 6:25 pm [Reply]

He is covering a rock with leaves so kids will jump on it and injure themselves, probably very badly. I’ve never seen him do anything this awful before. It’s just not in the same league as burning down the house every autumn or making kids run after the bus…. it’s kind of scary. He’s gone from curmudgeonly to demonic. What’s wrong with Batiuk?
Mibbitmaker
October 30th, 2008 at 6:25 pm [Reply]

FW: What’s worse than the title character of a strip being replaced by some mean, grouchy overweight middle age guy? Having his original, funny self also replaced by that guy as a teenager. Meanwhile, Les looks like he should in the Funny Era (???)

S-M: Spidey’s easily the funniest strip in the paper — and it’s not a humor strip! (note: I haven’t seen PBS yet)
Lisa
October 30th, 2008 at 6:28 pm [Reply]

{I was hoping Josh would address today’s Crankshaft. Maybe I’m missing something, but between yesterday’s Bergmanesque gathering clouds and this morning’s cheerful raking by the gravestones, I believe Batiuk is on the verge of killing off the ‘Shaft (again).}

Here is what I was quoting in 92… no idea why it went all slanty….
Robert
October 30th, 2008 at 7:04 pm [Reply]

#68 Annon: I remember a much creepier installment of “FoxTrot” (I believe it’s in the Wildly FoxTrot book), where Paige was showing off her dress for a school dance. Peter, her brother, said she looked “almost babe like”. *shudder*
Fritz the Kat
October 30th, 2008 at 7:06 pm [Reply]

I just saw the following in my local (Denver) paper, the Rocky Mountain News:

Garfield is coming home to the Rocky Mountain News. By popular demand, the comic strip featuring the fat cat will reclaim a spot in the Rocky’s lineup Monday. More than 2,000 readers wrote, e-mailed and called our comics hot line after the strip was dropped. Many Garfield fans told us that in these troubled times, they counted on the comic relief of their longtime favorite strip. To make room for Garfield, Over the Hedge is going away.

Bastards! OK, so Hedge isn’t always the funniest, but it’s better than Garfield, and better than a lot of stuff they are still carrying: Zombie FBorFW, Pajama Diaries, Drabble, Baby Blues, Cul De Sac, Little Dog Lost, Deflocked… And that’s not even counting the many one-panel atrocities such as Family Circus, which are still options because they already put some of the multi-panel strips in 2×2 format.

I sometimes dispair for humanity.
christian
October 30th, 2008 at 7:08 pm [Reply]

I thought loud noises were Daredevil’s weakness. UNLESS Spider-Man is wearing the symbiote black costume, which is very weak to sonic attacks (see: Venom being defeated by a church bell)
Batman Animated Series Clock King was awsesome
p.
October 30th, 2008 at 7:16 pm [Reply]

Spider-Man: Aw, don’t be so hard on the clock theme — the 90s Batman animated series had a pretty kick-ass villain in that universe’s Clock King. Big Time just reminds me of when people are invited at the last minute to a costume party and have to throw something together (although that might also be how most criminals figure they have to dress in a town with a superhero). The pocketwatch thrown randomly around his neck cinches it; he could’ve introduced himself as “Weakass Flava Flav” and Spidey wouldn’t blink at all.
WillieO
October 30th, 2008 at 7:22 pm [Reply]

Lois’ sleep addiction is enabling Ditto’s childhood obesity. When he gets type 2 diabetes and has to have a foot amputated, I’ll start reading the strip. Well…no not even then.
Violet
October 30th, 2008 at 7:28 pm [Reply]

#96 Fritz:
I see your point, and I don’t disagree, but it strikes me that people whose lives are so relentlessly bleak that they look to GARFIELD as the high point of their day are perhaps more to be pitied than censured.
Niall
October 30th, 2008 at 7:35 pm [Reply]

It’s 7am and I’m stuck at work for the foreseeable future… I haven’t had even a chance all day to check the site until 7 minutes ago.

Y93. Andy Panderer: the be fair, My Cage only borrows a small feel of the “manga/anime” style; it’s more a “contemporary cartooning” style, epurated in line with a bit more emphasis on expressivity, which will include bigger eyes and movements reminiscent of manga. And it’s okay, because, well, they’re talking animals, there’s no human template to violate violently such as in Gil Thorp or Dick Tracy. And yes, Creepy Janitor Guy’s design is a masterpiece. Maureen is indeed a fox. I think Norm, the platypus, is the only one who has the current potential to age into a Plugger if he doesn’t escape in time.

…and now I can leave but must be back early in the morning. Bleah.
Niall
October 30th, 2008 at 7:42 pm [Reply]

78. Angry Kem: for making me waste most of my day in run-and-wait, and make me do unnecessary redo work, I want to chew co-workers right now.

I have ice cider, and I am so, so tempted. I also have Irish pot still whiskeys. Party at my place.
Fritz the Kat
October 30th, 2008 at 7:43 pm [Reply]

Sometimes I despair for my proofreading skills.
messybessy
October 30th, 2008 at 7:53 pm [Reply]

#43 Zaq In any those cases isn’t it nice that the State of Illinois gives you that little reminder?
Wolf Shepherd
October 30th, 2008 at 7:58 pm [Reply]

Ziggy You see a toaster is supposed to produce food, but in Ziggy’s case it provides food for thought! Hahaha. That’s funny… right?
Wolf Shepherd
October 30th, 2008 at 8:04 pm [Reply]

Ziggy You see a toaster produces food that is high in fiber, which of couse is good for you. That is why it would make perfect sense for a talking toaster to say, “Live long and prosper!” Hahaha. A talking toaster! That’s funny …right?
Poteet
October 30th, 2008 at 8:05 pm [Reply]

# 78 Angry Kem — Thanks for giving us a new funny Japes in spite of your suffering. May your weekend bring rest, calm, tranquility, and a chance to relax within walls you don’t want to chew.

#92 Lisa — Yeah. And the jury, when he’s sued for everything he owns, will undoubtedly be told about how he deliberately decorated his house and yard to lure kids in so they’d be tempted to jump in the leaves. Not only is Crankshaft mean as hell, he’s dumber than that boulder.
Poteet
October 30th, 2008 at 8:10 pm [Reply]

# 101 Niall — Hope your party is going well! Alas, I can’t find the definition of epurate (or epirate), and I really want to know. In return, I throw mental darts at your coworkers. And I toss a virtual bottle of whatever you fancy in your direction.
Loramir
October 30th, 2008 at 8:15 pm [Reply]

Ziggy Several hours after reading today’s Ziggy and being completely bewildered, it has finally dawned on me that “Live long and prosper” is apparently supposed to be a toast! I don’t know anyone who says that in a toast, personally…I think the “joke” might have been a bit more clear if it had said…I dunno. “Cheers,” maybe? Or either told an embarrassing story about some drunken night in college.

I have just put considerable thought into Ziggy. This is the final sign that I really and truly have no life. Please, please put me out of my misery.
Les of the Jungle Patrol
October 30th, 2008 at 8:22 pm [Reply]

Re: 90 True Fable

My younger brother used to act like Barry. He would start crying if I looked at him funny and my mom would swoop in and then the little brt would make gloating looks over her shoulder while he continued to cry his crocodile tears. This one time, when my mom was especially frayed, he just looked at me with an evil glint in his eye and started bawling with no provocation whatsoever. When I think of this now, in my 30’s, I still want to punch him.

Lio

These Halloween strips are really touching. This kid just really loves this holiday. It warms the cockles of my heart to see him so enthusiastic.
CanuckDownSouth
October 30th, 2008 at 8:23 pm [Reply]

#108-Poteet – plural form of “to purge” in Italian (epurate)? Does that work?
Mooncattie
October 30th, 2008 at 8:26 pm [Reply]

#Y170 Muffaroo – “But he’s clean, very clean”…would that be Paul’s Grandfather in A Hard Day’s Night?

MW – The payoff, at long last…Mary Worth is in the penalty box, Two Minutes for Meddling! Meanwhile, Lynn’s Ninja Dance routine is nearing perfection – as Dad’s jugular vein would discover during the upcoming competition.
Wolf Shepherd
October 30th, 2008 at 8:28 pm [Reply]

Ziggy I found myself amused a few years back when I saw an advertisement for a “digital toaster.” In fact, it was a toaster with electronic vice mechanical controls, which is not quite the same thing. But I digress. My point is that small kitchen appliances have come a long way in recent years and I suspect that Ziggy is watching Star Trek reruns on a combination toaster/flat-screen TV. I don’t know for a fact that such devices are in the marketplace, but if they are not, it just means that the inventors of the world are falling down on the job. The comic is funny because the TV/toaster says, “Live long and prosper!” which is the very antithesis of everything Ziggy. Hahaha. That’s funny …right?
Mooncattie
October 30th, 2008 at 8:32 pm [Reply]

#112 Me – “will discover”? “will have discovered”?
Oh well, let’s just have a conference call with lots of booze, and we can all help Angry Kem mark her essays!
exapno
October 30th, 2008 at 8:57 pm [Reply]

9CL Holy crap! The geek is FINALLY making a move!!
Skullturf Q. Beavispants
October 30th, 2008 at 9:08 pm [Reply]

I think if the writers of Archie and Ziggy teamed up, they might be able to come up with two thirds of a joke.
Lisa
October 30th, 2008 at 9:19 pm [Reply]

I noticed that about 9CL too… wow!!

{#92 Lisa — Yeah. And the jury, when he’s sued for everything he owns, will undoubtedly be told about how he deliberately decorated his house and yard to lure kids in so they’d be tempted to jump in the leaves. Not only is Crankshaft mean as hell, he’s dumber than that boulder.}

Not to mention that it’s his daughter and sil’s house, not his, so they will probably be beggared by punitive damages for keeping an insane old man on the premises instead of putting him in a mental hospital. There goes their retirement.
commodorejohn
October 30th, 2008 at 9:29 pm [Reply]

“Determining the winner in this battle will be like a philosophical conundrum: can an object with no mass be moved by an infinitely weak force?”
Okay, Josh, just go ahead and give yourself COTW for this one.

#65 Steve The Pocket – I think that what was intended in today’s Mallard was more jabbering about The Media treating various criticisms of Obama as “code” for racism, which is in no way a joke that has been completely flogged to death by Tinsley, but this is what becomes of it when run through the Booze Filter.
Jordan
October 30th, 2008 at 9:38 pm [Reply]

That perm on Ditto’s friend gets bigger in every panel. If this were a Sunday strip, the final panel would be nothing but hair.
Jumper
October 30th, 2008 at 9:51 pm [Reply]

I doubt the creators of Spider Man have the guts to do it, conceptual artists everywhere would praise them, but it IS a perfect moment to achieve the absolute stoppage of time. I mean freeze it, send in the exact three panels to the syndicate every – stinking – day, with a word “Tik” and the next “Toc,” repeated OVER and OVER forever, every – single – day, until, Bartleby-like, the scriveners are finally cast out of the Syndicate and the papers.
gnemec
October 30th, 2008 at 9:56 pm [Reply]

Ditto’s lunchbox=Hi’s laptop/briefcase=Hi’s office communication device. It’s the visual equivalent of the generic language disease afflicting Herb and Jamaal. Eventually the Flagstons will drive around in a nondescript gray vehicle and live in a nondescript gray cube.
Seismic-2
October 30th, 2008 at 9:59 pm [Reply]

In the previous blog (in which I asserted that Ditto and Dot are actually the children of Lois Flagston and Orville Snorkle, not Hi), I said that Ditto’s friend is Todd Flanders. On further reflection, though, I’ve decided that he’s actually Rod, not Todd. And I can’t believe that I’ve used the words “upon further reflection” in reference to H&L, either.
commodorejohn
October 30th, 2008 at 9:59 pm [Reply]

#119 Jordan – Maybe his great-grandfather was Buckwheat of the Little Rascals.
Niall
October 30th, 2008 at 10:13 pm [Reply]

108. Poteet: I’d love to have any Mudgeons over who’d want to. It’s just myself, home at 8pm (not am, gah), and I had double-churned ice cream for supper. And I feel so yuck, I had regular Jameson’s for drink. BLEAH. As for “epurate”, it’s a French word, so don’t look for it too much. :) It means “purified”, in the sense of a “ligne de dessin épurée” would mean a drawing line that’s been stripped of unnecessary bits, reduced to its essence, stuff like that. I’m sure there’s a good single word, but I’m too blue and tired to think of it.

111 CanuckDownSouth’s not too bad with “purged” – as in purged of unnecessary bits.

114. Mooncattie: I’m all for that, I’ve already started. But for you and Kem, much better stuff than Jamesons would come out. (Crested Ten or Redbreast.)

I’mma gonna go bash things in an mmorpg now.
Niall
October 30th, 2008 at 10:19 pm [Reply]

…but before: I just read a heartwarming story of a good samaritain who bought back a woman’s foreclosed home after talking to her. On the spot.

In the comments, many are praising her, saying “What A Good Deed” she has done – and I’m saddened that no one seems to get the pun they’re making.

Am I bad for thinking such things?..
Norm
October 30th, 2008 at 10:23 pm [Reply]

Pluggers yell non sequiturs when told of TV marathons, because they are in the grips of dementia.
papa zita
October 30th, 2008 at 10:41 pm [Reply]

89: Shoot and the only piles I thought Crankshaft had anything to do with are his hemorrhoids.
dyslexic dog
October 30th, 2008 at 11:02 pm [Reply]

#79 – PeteMoss:
You made me break my muzzle.
CanuckDownSouth
October 30th, 2008 at 11:08 pm [Reply]

#124-Niall. Dang. Didn’t have my Petit Robert next to my desk, and my search only came up with the Italian version. “To expurgate” is a suggested translation.
willethompson
October 30th, 2008 at 11:10 pm [Reply]

#20 Splinky: You have summarized – nay, crystallized – the essence of the Spiderman conundrum, to wit: how can Spideysense detect menace at miles distance, yet is thrown off by the humble brick or the brrrrr of an alarm clock? He was indeed obviously bitten by a spider whose posterior abdomen was kicked by every other spider in the web. I think they took his lunch money, too.
Amateur
October 30th, 2008 at 11:18 pm [Reply]

#110 — Now see, today’s Lio just freaked me out. To each his own, I guess. (I suppose it didn’t help that I was eating breakfast at the time . . . )
Erik
October 30th, 2008 at 11:59 pm [Reply]

SHIT. I’m a Plugger too now.
Poteet
October 31st, 2008 at 12:02 am [Reply]

# 124 Niall and # 129 Canuck — Thank you! I learn a lot here. I will proceed carefully in using that word, but now I know it.

And Niall, I hope your weekend will go better than your week. I hereby hand you a container of virtual gelato from a place in Des Moines that knows how to make it right. Their chocolate gelato was enough to make me fall to my knees and weep with joy when I first tasted it. Other flavors, also quite excellent.
Niall
October 31st, 2008 at 12:09 am [Reply]

133 Poteet: take special care as I think it’s NOT a word in English but a French word I misused. :) I do that a lot, anglisize a french verb that shouldn’t be… especially when i’m tired like now.

Oh, I have excellent French gelato here too… butterscotch that DID make me cry a little when I tasted it. But thank you. Weekend seems recuperating from dancing tomorrow (if I dance), spending time at my sister’s with my mom back from the hospital, and somewhere, I must spend a few hours at the arcade to practice for the ddr tournament next week…
Poteet
October 31st, 2008 at 12:09 am [Reply]

S-M — Some jumping spiders are impressive dancers, per below.

http://tolweb.org/notes/?note_id=64

One could perhaps imagine Peter Parker being bitten by a sluggish, bitter jumping spider, too lazy to practice his moves and resentful of more adept spiders for getting the girls. A sullen jumping spider who sat around on the screen of a discarded TV set.
Muffaroo
October 31st, 2008 at 12:22 am [Reply]

Loramir @109 – Ah, thank god, the mystery is solved. It’s still not funny, but I can at least see why Crumb’s old boss might decide to use it as a humor substitute.

Mooncattie @112 – Yes, that was Paul’s wretched grandfather. And now I remember again that the line was going through my mind, and once again, I don’t know why. Soon, I shall slip off into the arms of Morpheus, though, and it won’t matter.
jordin
October 31st, 2008 at 12:30 am [Reply]

Back-to-back Lucy.
Hot dog.
Bathrobe.

Anyone seeing those connotations?
Catbus
October 31st, 2008 at 12:39 am [Reply]

#96 Fritz the Kat —
I remember back in ’80s when the Denver Post and the Rocky Mountain News were actually fighting over who would get Garfield.
Master Mahan
October 31st, 2008 at 12:55 am [Reply]

So have we come up with every conceivable clock/cock pun yet? We have? Good.
bats :[
October 31st, 2008 at 1:19 am [Reply]

TGIFunnies!

JP: I wonder, if like Dixie Julep, our detective has had a “falling out.”

DtM: I love this. Granted, it means that Mr. Wilson will undoubtedly get his house TPed, but I love it anyway.

FC: coool! Dolly’s going trick-or-treating as Elly Patterson!
(Oh, yeah, and what a crappy Halloween decoration.)

Phantom: shouldn’t the Little Shaman’s speculations been asterisked as “in the Bandar thought processes”? No? Okay. But it would’ve been cool.

RMMD: here I am, hoping for another great expression from somebody. Boy, oh boy, are my trick-or-treat dreams answered! >:)
He Brought Queenie Baby Jesus
October 31st, 2008 at 1:31 am [Reply]

Thank god Hi and Lois turned out to be about lunch. At first glance, and given what Browne apparently thinks a phone looks like, I thought those were supposed to be laptops.
Mordock999
October 31st, 2008 at 1:36 am [Reply]

Today’s Luann 10/31/08

Aren’t these ‘kids’ a little OLD for Trick or Treating??

And I’m NOT even ABOUT to comment Bernice’s ‘costume’…,

________________________

DEAT to TJ!
Big Sims
October 31st, 2008 at 1:41 am [Reply]

Is
Dolly
dressed
as
Sarah
mutha fukin
Palin?

(swallows shotgun)
Mordock999
October 31st, 2008 at 1:42 am [Reply]

That’s D.E.A.T.H. to TJ!

(gotta go to bed)
Poteet
October 31st, 2008 at 1:44 am [Reply]

Luann — Do high-schoolers go trick-or-treating now? Because back in the day in my neighborhood, I seem to recall that thirteen was more or less the cutoff age for any kid who didn’t want to get the stink eye when going door to door.

DtM — It looks as if Dennis may be dressed as a sword-wielding clown(?)
Farley's Revenge
October 31st, 2008 at 1:45 am [Reply]

Friday’s Baldo: So. Baldo and Gracie are being stalked by the guy from the movie “The Crow”?

At least the Death Dude is more talkative than Masky McDeath.

9CL: Given the way things go in this strip, I wouldn’t be the least surprised if Edda ends up in the bed and Amos sleeps on the floor, hiccuping gently into the night.
Big Sims
October 31st, 2008 at 2:04 am [Reply]

Oh whew,
Looks like Dolly’s merely dressed as Tina Fey.
(stands down from the buildings edge)
christian
October 31st, 2008 at 2:19 am [Reply]

“I doubt the creators of Spider Man have the guts to do it, conceptual artists everywhere would praise them, but it IS a perfect moment to achieve the absolute stoppage of time. I mean freeze it, send in the exact three panels to the syndicate every – stinking – day, with a word “Tik” and the next “Toc,” repeated OVER and OVER forever, every – single – day, until, Bartleby-like, the scriveners are finally cast out of the Syndicate and the papers.”

the Clock King got this power in the Animated Series
but yeah i noticed nothing odd about the Spidey strip until you pointed it out. hooray for comic books!
Alfred E. Neuman
October 31st, 2008 at 2:50 am [Reply]

Luann— Ahh, sweet lovable Bernice, let me count the ways: 1. You were lusted after by your female boss. 2. You lusted after Zane. 3. You lusted after your brother Ben. 4. You lusted after Luann. 5. Now you appear in drag. It’s not just your hair that’s kinky.
Wangdoodle
October 31st, 2008 at 3:27 am [Reply]

Halloween Time, kids!

Luann: Oh my God, these punks are sixteen or seventeen years old, right? And they’re actually trick-or-treating? Luann’s going as a stripper with less modesty than Elvira, Bernice is going as Captain Morgan, Butt Pirate, and Delta…oh, God, not poor Delta. Honey, if you’re going clown, it involves facepaint. I know that just leads to this whole ridiculous $#!%storm, but you picked the clown motif, not me.

Crankshaft: I hope they catch last week’s bank robber, and bust him hard, for not committing murder.

You’d think Curtis would already be so familiar with the back of his father’s hand that he wouldn’t dare to such a thing.

Family Circus: Well, there’s something I can’t unsee.

Mother Goose & Grimm: HAW HAW! Another “French coward” joke! Those NEVER get old! No matter how revoltingly jingoistic and patently false they are! But how come the leprechaun isn’t drunk? You’re really letting your Klan readers down, guy.

Sally Forth: “…And the urine smell was free!”
Spotted HØrse, Jungle Steed
October 31st, 2008 at 3:30 am [Reply]

Luann: Man, I can’t ever tear my eyes away from this strip’s ever heaving and bubbling ferment. Hey Evans! No WAY would Delta be caught dead in that outfit, capische?
Spotted HØrse, Jungle Steed
October 31st, 2008 at 3:33 am [Reply]

#150 Wangdoodle:

Luann’s going as a stripper with less modesty than Elvira, Bernice is going as Captain Morgan, Butt Pirate

You’re sure Berniece isn’t John Lennon, uv the Beatles?
Spotted HØrse, Jungle Steed
October 31st, 2008 at 3:40 am [Reply]

#135 Poteet: Hey, very cool spider footage! I like this quote:

Males of this species, with a pink metallic sheen on the reddish abdomen, of course raise the abdomen during courtship.

Well, of course they raise the abdomen during courtship! Why wouldn’t they!?
Pozzo
October 31st, 2008 at 5:53 am [Reply]

When the world is getting me down and I don’t know in which direction to turn, I just look at my WWJD bracelet and ask myself, “What Would Jughead Do?” The answer is usually, “Have a pizza and take a nap,” but seriously, when has that ever been bad advice?
Pozzo
October 31st, 2008 at 5:56 am [Reply]

This may be the first time in the history of comics that the phrase “He’s fired a clock-shaped gun at me” has ever appeared.

Please let it be the last.
Tracer Bullet
October 31st, 2008 at 6:47 am [Reply]

JP: If it’s at all possible to hate a fictional cartoon character then I hate Sam Driver with the core of my soul. I hate him with every fiber of my being. My toenail clippings hate him. I hate him with the wax in my ears and the boogers in my nose.

RMMD: FINALLY! Rex is going to get himself a little salty seaman.
Little Guy
October 31st, 2008 at 6:51 am [Reply]

JP: Doesn’t this dick have any other clothing but black?

Blondie: I was going to say Edda and Amos.

Candorville: Okay, it’s a long strange trip, but it’s okay.

Lio: Tough part for doing the strip is finding only one punchline for today’s theme.
gleeb
October 31st, 2008 at 6:58 am [Reply]

Baldo: Oh, Baldo, a silly light-saber isn’t going to stop relentless, implacable death. The Great Leveler has come for you; don’t fight it, boy.

Blondie: The anonymous kid should have stuffed a couple of grapefruits down her (or is it his) shirt. Then it would have been obvious.

FC: No, Billy, someone might track Daddy and find your bodies. Also, is Dolly supposed to be Gov. Palin or Deng Xiaoping?

‘bean: Looks can be deceiving, Summer. They only look funny in comparison to what they are now. Seriously, Funky Winkerbean wasn’t all that good, even back in the “funny” period.

Guran Morgan, MD: He meant “ebola”. What do you think he meant? “Darn, I spilled some gravy on my shirt”?
John C Fremont
October 31st, 2008 at 7:01 am [Reply]

OMG! I forgot yesterday to congratulate gleeb for potential COTW for the “We’re gonna need a bigger lampshade” take on Phantom yesterday (# 102, previous thread). Very funny stuff! In fact, I’m still giggling. (Pozzo’s at # 155 is also a strong contender!)

# 132 – It’s okay, Erik. I think we’re all Pluggers on this bus.

# 145 (Poteet) and 150 (Wangdoodle) – Sadly, my younger son is coming home from college tonight to go trick-or-treating. We had to pick up a Sweeney Todd-style razor at an antique store to complete his costume. He’s a potential Ted Forth.

And speaking of, Ted Forth is a freaking genious! Wish I’d come up with that idea!

JP – I think our Sexy Detective has been shopping from the Dixie Julep collection. To paraphrase Ann-Margret, isn’t she creamy?!
gleeb
October 31st, 2008 at 7:03 am [Reply]

Me: On review, I was thinking of Li Peng, not Deng.
One-eyed Wolfdog
October 31st, 2008 at 7:16 am [Reply]

Where have I seen that eyeholes gag (from today’s BC) before? Argh. If I’m not mistaken, it was from Garfield. Yeah? Wasn’t he crawling around pretending to be “amoeba man” in his blanket, or something? “Got my something… got my something… what else could I need?” And then he crashes into the table and says “Eyeholes… definitely eyeholes. Yeah. It was just as funny twenty years ago, and I do mean that.
Wangdoodle
October 31st, 2008 at 7:28 am [Reply]

159 (John C Fremont)
Getting into costume and going to a party is fine. Delta and Bern, however, are carrying swag bags. They’re going out for candy. (Luann is apparently going out to pick up johns, as noted by Bernice in one of the most brilliant I can’t believe they got away with that lines in comic-strip history.)
Brick Bradford
October 31st, 2008 at 7:30 am [Reply]

JP There sure has been a development! And I wonder if Sam’s having a “development” as well.
(sometimes ya gotta honor the obvious).

RMMD Yup, when lives are at stake and every second counts, stop and take the time to take off your shirt so as to show off your manly built.

MT Writing lesson #6. When including a scene to provide exposition don’t make it obvious that you are only including it to provide exposition.
Jimbo
October 31st, 2008 at 7:38 am [Reply]

What the HECK is Dennis the Menace supposed to BE this Halloween? He’s got Santa Clause pants and boots, a pirate sword, The Flash’s gloves, Dracula’s cape and some clown mask.

At least he’s not too OLD to be trick-or-treating, unlike Luann, Bernice and Delta. Speaking of which, if Luann is dead-set on going door to door dressed as a character from a children’s story, she should go as Penelope—she’s got the nose for it.

Kudos to Ted Forth for recycling his beer and vomit-impregnated St. Patrick’s Day outfit.
Klipper
October 31st, 2008 at 7:43 am [Reply]

10/31/08 – Beetle Bailey

Umm … yes. I’ll take the hummer too, Zero.
One-eyed Wolfdog
October 31st, 2008 at 7:49 am [Reply]

Check out the hilarity in today’s Zits where Pierce flippantly uses the maximum-likelihood estimate of population standard deviation based on an unwarranted estimation of normality. Wait until he finds out how badly he lowballed it! Not only will the look on his coarse, bespangled face be priceless, we’ll all learn a heartwarming lesson about the importance of unbiased estimators.
The Waz
October 31st, 2008 at 7:56 am [Reply]

S-M: Okay, after Spiderman loses to:
1) A brick
2) The Persuader
3) Big-Time (really, Big-Time? come on)

I hearby revoke any superhero privileges. As such, we will need to downgrade the villan levels even further. Next up: Brownie Troop #347. Following that: Stephen Hawkings. Stephen is NOT allowed to use his wheelchair during this battle. Unfortunately, he will probably still win.
Cranky
October 31st, 2008 at 8:06 am [Reply]

Big Time will be played in the movie by Morris Day.

“WHAT TIME IS IT?”
Amateur
October 31st, 2008 at 8:26 am [Reply]

Luann’s stripper-witch is from a CHILDREN’S story?

I weep for the younger generation.
Seismic-2
October 31st, 2008 at 8:27 am [Reply]

Luann: Let’s see – the kids are going Trick-or-Treating as a clown, a pirate, and a whore. Sort of gives new depth of meaning to the “Trick” part.

But yes, teenagers most certainly do go Trick-or-Treating. The elderly are so terrified of them that not only do they give them tons of candy, they also give them small kitchen appliances and their Social Security checks.

FC: I’ve never understood why the kids bother with costumes. Surely there is nothing scarier that they could be than the Keane family. That’s even more terrifying than the Manson family.

S4th: I’m dissapointed in Ted’s costume choice as Lucky Charms’ less-fortunate brother . After Sally vetoed his first choice of Snap and Crackle, I thought he would go as Sally, since now she’s a cereal killer.
Seismic-2
October 31st, 2008 at 8:33 am [Reply]

GT: Oh, and upon being told that 6-foot-9 Jeff Ponczak has a heart ailment that could cause him to drop dead at any moment, he pulls Ponczak over to the sidelines and “The coach is lighting into him!” Way to get him agitated enough to push him over the edge, coach!
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
October 31st, 2008 at 8:37 am [Reply]

9CL: I would love to see McEldowney’s private version of panel 3.

(WT)DT: Mmm, nothing says “stultifyingly dull lead-in to an anticlimactic and confusingly drawn robot battle” like the great smell of Brut Force.

FC: Oh boy, Dolly’s maverick costume just makes me wanna retch, you betcha!

JP: “The ‘development’ is between my thighs! I think you should check it out!”

MW: Vera didn’t stick her landing because she was shocked to see Mary has already tracked her down, despite moving across country and changing her name to “Lynn.”

PBS: Awwww, poor Pig!

S-M: Oh, no! Not the remote control! How did he find out about Spider-Man’s one weakness, television?
willethompson
October 31st, 2008 at 8:41 am [Reply]

JP: Only Sam Driver, freshly showered and one robe-tie-pull from buck-nekkid Sam Driver, would look at the satin-sheathed form of Detective Sweaterpuppies McLeatherpants with ill-disguised ennui. He sighed. Yet another woman wanted to have sex with him. What was it with this sex thing? What was the point? Was it supposed to be fun or something? Occasionally, when Abbey made her yearly attempt at intimacy, he would get the ‘flashes.’ Odd images of bright lights, clothespins, the smell of ether, nuns, followed by the taste of copper. He learned it was better if you just didn’t think about whatever sex was.
Niall
October 31st, 2008 at 9:19 am [Reply]

QUick slip to mention costumes seen today at work: a very well-made scarecrow by a young woman, what looks like real straw poking out of legs and arms, covering most of feet and hands. Very cute.

I had to blink at the other woman with a Conehead mask. Well, head prosthesis. She was a Quebecker. Points for being likely the only one wearing this – perhaps in all of North America…
Gojira
October 31st, 2008 at 9:20 am [Reply]

FC: Looks like Thel didn’t notice the Irregular tag on that Iron Man armor costume. Oh, well, looks like Billy can’t tell the difference, anyway.

A3G, third panel: Check out that smirk. Gary didn’t even bother faking sympathy for the deceased (’[how] awful for you, Tommie!”) and he’s still getting some tonight.
Niall
October 31st, 2008 at 9:31 am [Reply]

AHHHHH!!!!!

I was going through the local paper, and was flipping past the Sports page – and this photo stared at me! How dare the world of Mary Worth materialise in my neighbourhood??

I’m going to need a LOT of Rockets and Timbits to make it through the day.
Meanwhile
October 31st, 2008 at 9:49 am [Reply]

Why are the handles of those kids’ lunchboxes on the wrong end? The handle goes opposite the hinge, not on the same side.

Why is this so important to me? Given the utter lack of anything interesting in the strip, my brain had to occupy itself with something.
Calico
October 31st, 2008 at 9:51 am [Reply]

#172 – You beat me to the reference of Lil’ Dolly’s costume, ya know? (Winks)
Dingo
October 31st, 2008 at 9:59 am [Reply]

It’s nice to see Tommie Thompson go to Suze Orman for advice, financial or otherwise. Now we just need the girl-on-girl action like Ted Forth’s lunch dates.
ring around the collar
October 31st, 2008 at 10:06 am [Reply]

Pluggers are so lazy that they use the remote control, despite having eyesight so bad that they are forced to sit within arm’s reach of the TV.
CanuckDownSouth
October 31st, 2008 at 10:10 am [Reply]

I got nuthin’ really snarky … but I have to say I’m quite let down by Garfield. After a week of bizarreness, I was expecting a Halloween payoff. Instead there’s no wrapup at all – not even waking up sick in a pile of pilfered candy.

And I slightly modify my gripe against Phantom. Apparently the Bandar only need simple things to probably prevent Ebola transmission. Still egregious to not share that, but they’re aware the disease will kill you. The Great Orchid, not so up on his jungle fever survival rates.

(more FOOBfic)
Anonymous
October 31st, 2008 at 10:13 am [Reply]

BB: We’re going to ignore the obvious reference to oral sex and instead focus on Mr. AsianMan’s comment. Why the heck would someone in the military be surprised to find out they had a hummer? Has the Army gone green all of a sudden?

Blondie: I knew Elmo had an unhealthy obsession with his neighbors, but sheesh.

DtM: “All I got was a note saying ‘Avoid the clap – Mr. Wilson.’”

DT: So apparently Magnum Force dropped his slave name and reprogrammed his signals (?) to proclaim his name as Brut Force (brought to you by the great smell of Brut!). And nice of them to add the gratuitous last word balloon. (I can read a calendar!)

FC: As much as I enjoy the idea of the Keanes waiting until it’s pitch black to send their spawn out into the streets, I’m more distrubed by their costumes. It looks like Billy is wearing a mis-colored Iron Man costume, and it looks like PJ on the far right in a Batman/Catwoman hybrid costume. I can only assume thats Jeffy in the middle in his home-made Sarah Palin outfit. Dolly is obviously not allowed to Trick-or-Treat as the Keane woman have to prepare dinner and clean the house.

MW: Lynn’s performance is so incredibly bad that I almost threw up reading today’s strip. I feel weaker just watching her form. If she keeps it up she’ll never win anything except “World’s Worst Skater- Ever!”

Pluggers: Obviously Pluggers have adopted grandchildren because there’s no way their genes could spawn a straight-A student.

RMMD: So this whole story line has been an excuse to get Rex’s shirt off. Giggity Giggity.
Artist formerly known as Ben
October 31st, 2008 at 10:14 am [Reply]

Happy Halloweensies errybody

A3G: Tommie has indulged in a little Halloween necromancy and raised the ghost of John Denver. Who would have thought she had it in her?

9CL: Now, I guess, is the acid test of whether readers will accept Amos as a romantic lead. I’m pulling for him. (Not that kind of pulling. Ew.)

BB: Without looking at the rest of the comments, I’m going to assume all the jokes about Sarge relaxing with a hummer have been covered.

FC: PJ is the not so Dark Knight, I’m guessing. Dolly has taken a tip from “Six Chix” and dressed as Sarah Palin, which results in a kind of lunch lady look. Billy is a Scottish acid house DJ, as far as I can tell. Jef can’t bring himself to draw his avatar as part of this group.

JP: It’s like the aptly named Woody Wilson is copying all his scenes from pornos, but leaving out the parts that people rent them for.

Lockhorns: And as punishment for their sins, the couple were forced to play bridge with Leroy and Loretta FOREVER!

Momma: It’s nice to know Francis was a quick and painless birth.

Luann: I can only assume she’s using “candy” as a euphemism.

Archie: Who the hell goes “Boo! Boo!” The corrrect sound for Archie’s Yeti costume would be a wordless growl. Not that I have any sympathy for Veronica, who couldn’t even be bothered to wear a pointy hat.

Phantom: You know I’ve been through the jungle on a horse with no name/ And then I noticed that the comic was lame.

Blondie: For the full effect, the girl really should have put a couple of grapefruits in her shirt.
billytheskink
October 31st, 2008 at 10:17 am [Reply]

I’ll give Archie this, the comic sure does a good job portraying Jughead as a restaurant expert.
Heck, if I knew what place delivered pizza in a non-rotating boomerang box I’d probably order from them 2 or 3 times a week.
bats :[
October 31st, 2008 at 10:20 am [Reply]

176. Niall: wow, that’s a bummer, Mary Worth in your ‘hood and all.
What really concerns me is the missing wallaby (also noted on that page of paper).
Rusty
October 31st, 2008 at 10:27 am [Reply]

I would be pleased to have teenagers dressed like Luanne come by the house trick or treating. Sure, it’s pathetic on their part, when I turned 13 it was time to start egging houses and other “pranks”, but Greg Evan’s lives a sheltered life.
Muffaroo
October 31st, 2008 at 10:49 am [Reply]

Wangdoodle @150 – I heard that at a memorable production of “I Pagliacci,” Canio was played by a black man, and in “Vesti la giubba,” where he’s weeping with rage and humiliation as he puts on his clown white, there was even more electricity in the air than usual. I always wished I could have seen that. Even hearing it described by the alcoholic drama teacher was thrilling.

willethompson @173 – …nuns, followed by the taste of copper… Nailed it!

formerly Ben @183 – I’ll guess that Bil and Thel dressed Dolly up as Sarah Palin, hoping she’d look in a mirror and scare herself to death. And Archie shouted “Boo! Boo!” because he caught a glimpse of Midge in her Boo-Boo costume on the other side of the table and was stricken with sudden priapism at her furry body. Veronica threw the punch bowl two or three feet too high.
J McCain
October 31st, 2008 at 3:15 pm [Reply]

Like so many of her fellow Pluggers, Plugger-world Lucy is actually a dog, and rather a sexy one at that. As such, the Plugger in question is merely shouting a pre-masturbatory epithet common to Pluggers of the canine persuasion.
DeGroot of All Evil
October 31st, 2008 at 6:14 pm [Reply]

Loramir @ 109:

That seems like the most logical answer. Thank you. I feel like a ghost that has been released. Feel free to wield the Ziggy Explaining Amulet whenever it is necessary.
Doctob
November 4th, 2008 at 8:20 pm [Reply]

PBS made me want to cry.

Please read the posting and discussion policies before posting. You are not required to supply an e-mail address to comment; however, doing so decreases the likelihood of your comment being flagged as spam. E-mail addresses will never be made public or seen by anyone but the site writers, who may use them to communicate with commentors.

Archives:

Comment of the week:

Main navigation:

Main content:

Pluggers love Lucy, and misery

190 responses to “Pluggers love Lucy, and misery”

Leave a Reply

All the cool kids…

Randomly Selected Post O’ Mystery