The Comics Curmudgeon

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Figure-skating’s shame: REVEALED!

Mary Worth, 11/12/08

Never mind Mary and Frank’s hissy fit over the most effective way to mold your daughter to your will; what sort of sordid public coupling is going on to their left in panel one? Oh, sure, Coachy McPervert is just “helping” his young skater with her “coat” — but that doesn’t explain why she’s reaching inside his jacket to pull him closer. Looks like some skating coaches know the power of good, old-fashioned positive reinforcement (which, I can’t emphasize enough, only works this way if the skater you’re coaching is not your blood relative).

Apartment 3-G, 11/12/08

The Who On Earth Talks Or Acts This Way Follies continue unabated in Apartment 3-G. As near as I can tell, Gary is freaking out because Tommie went public with their relationship. Which sort of makes sense, because wouldn’t you be embarrassed about dating the least interesting Apartment 3-G girl?

Crankshaft, 11/12/08

Oh, look, it’s apparently characters sitting silently on the couch while the TV news inflicts terrible jokes on them week in Crankshaft. I note that the characters are not watching these wacky news jokesters together, because not even Crankshaft characters want to hang out with Crankshaft characters.

Family Circus, 11/12/08

“Thank you, Grandma, for invoking the name of Beth-Chu-Harebzed over my soup, turning it inky black, like the soul of our satanic master! Now it will give me the strength of ten thousand demons!”

This entry was posted on Wednesday, November 12, 2008 at 03:42 pm and is filed under Apartment 3-G, Crankshaft, Family Circus, Mary Worth.

263 responses to “Figure-skating’s shame: REVEALED!”

Spunde
November 12th, 2008 at 3:46 pm [Reply]

I do like the way Tommie and Gary keep finishing their sentences with each other’s name. As though if they don’t constantly remind themselves, they’ll forget. (When of course it’s really a service to the reader.)
Peter
November 12th, 2008 at 3:49 pm [Reply]

Unfortunately, today’s Funky Winkerbean does not feature a meteor, T-Rex, or squadron of Zeroes, but instead an utterly-horrifying single snowflake that would send any man fleeing in terror.
Patrick
November 12th, 2008 at 3:56 pm [Reply]

“You’re welcome, Dolly! Thank you for stupiding up my table!”
Dr. Mrs. The Monarch
November 12th, 2008 at 3:56 pm [Reply]

Family Circus: okay, what is that? I mean, what the hell IS that?! I’m talkin’ to you, Bil and Jeff Keane! My comix page isn’t in color, so I didn’t get the hilarious demonic soup; I only got the awful, cloying, horrifying not-cuteness of Dolly thanking her grandmother for “hotting up” her soup. What gives you two the right to do that to a person at six o’clock in the morning? Seriously, I almost ate my comix page out of spite this morning. Thank God Brewster Rockit was there to help my blood pressure return to a normal level.

And also, as usual, Josh made the damn thing funnier than Bil and Jeff ever intended it to be. Thanks, Josh! (You understand I had to get that out of my system.)
xy
November 12th, 2008 at 3:57 pm [Reply]

i think hotting must be some kind of slang for filling that soup with drugs or alcohol
Skullturf Q. Beavispants
November 12th, 2008 at 3:59 pm [Reply]

“Thank you for Irishing up my coffee, Grandma!”
Uncle Lumpy
November 12th, 2008 at 4:00 pm [Reply]

Hey, the people in Crankshaft are shutting the hell up.

I’ll take it!
gnome de blog
November 12th, 2008 at 4:01 pm [Reply]

Doesn’t everyone feed their five-year-old squid-ink and habanero soup?
Gold-Digging Nanny
November 12th, 2008 at 4:03 pm [Reply]

Nothing on Dick Tracy? That was the funniest thing ever! “My TV iz out!” Bwahahahaha *snort.*
Mariko
November 12th, 2008 at 4:06 pm [Reply]

When I worked at a retirement home, some of the residents would often ask for me to “hot up” their coffee, meaning pour some of the hot coffee I had in my hands into the cold coffee they had let sit there. That expression bothered me to no end (there is a perfectly good verb for “make something hot!” Heat it up, for God’s sake! All right, so maybe I am too much of an English major). Thank you, Keane family, for reminding me of that.

It did, however, give me great satisfaction to realize that, if one were to add just a few wrinkles, Dolly would be the spitting image of an octogenarian.
Lake Eerie Log Chains
November 12th, 2008 at 4:08 pm [Reply]

7 – Uncle Lumpy
Alas, they’re turning the stage over to other smug assholes
Perky Bird
November 12th, 2008 at 4:10 pm [Reply]

I wonder why Dolly’s soup was cold in the first place. Was Thel so lazy that she just dumped a can of soup straight into the bowl, and it was only Grandma’s pity for the little melon-head that prevented Dolly from having to eat a cold, can-shaped, gelatinous glop?
Donkey Hotey
November 12th, 2008 at 4:11 pm [Reply]

BF: I usually couldn’t care less about the characters in this strip, but I really hope Jake winds up chained to a log.
FC: “Thank you, Grandma, for roofie-ing up my hot cocoa!”
Cool Bev
November 12th, 2008 at 4:11 pm [Reply]

Pretty funny, Dolly doesn’t know the proper term is “hottsing”. At least, it is in the dialect of baby-talk and Yiddish we use at our house.
Balto
November 12th, 2008 at 4:14 pm [Reply]

I’m a tad obsessive, but look at Dolly’s bowl of soup! It defies the laws of nature…although it appears to be tilted to the right (possible from sitting on the cracker), the soup is deeper at the high end…? The top of her glass looks crooked too. For a comic with such sparce detail to begin with, I demand more accuracy and less Escher!!
Lake Eerie Log Chains
November 12th, 2008 at 4:14 pm [Reply]

Actually, once Mary and Frank head out the door, we should stay behind and focus on the clearly more dysfunctional coach-athlete relationship.
Gold-Digging Nanny
November 12th, 2008 at 4:16 pm [Reply]

Slylock Fox — My answer would have been, “the fish is the only one that is not alive.”
Amateur
November 12th, 2008 at 4:16 pm [Reply]

#1 — I hadn’t noticed that, Spunde. But you’re right, Spunde. You’ve got a good eye, Spunde. :-)
topliff
November 12th, 2008 at 4:18 pm [Reply]

Ugh. Sally Forth is headed right down the A3-G, Mary Worth, Funky tragedy trail. When Sally finds out that Ted has been singing the mother-in-law blues to Aria, and how Sally doesn’t get it or better yet Ted does, it promises to get hideous – oh, sorry, it already is.
Idols of Mud
November 12th, 2008 at 4:19 pm [Reply]

FW: I’d be afraid of a mild snowfall, too. Considering the depression in the strip, seasonal affective disorder will be the trigger launching the Montoni’s Suicide Pact.

Mary Worth: “Mary, we better go. I used to date that guy.”
Anonymous
November 12th, 2008 at 4:21 pm [Reply]

TEN THOUSAND DEMONS
Al of the Christian Single Jungle Patrol
November 12th, 2008 at 4:24 pm [Reply]

FW — That snowflake must be condensed on one of Lisa’s cancerous ashes.
PeteMoss
November 12th, 2008 at 4:27 pm [Reply]

Which will be the bigger smack down? Mary Worth on Frank or Mark Trail on Rabbit? Can you believe the way that guy is pulling Mary out the door? She’ll be focusing full biddy-beams* on him like Brute Force on TRAZ-R. His TV is history.**

*Of course, being near the ice rink all afternoon assists Mary in the deployment of the “biddy-beams.”

**That’ll make it easier to chain to a log.
colorado/mewolcott
November 12th, 2008 at 4:28 pm [Reply]

All Dolly needs is a side of Mary’s Tuna casserole splat, and her death will be certain!
Uncle Lumpy
November 12th, 2008 at 4:29 pm [Reply]

Re: Who On Earth Talks Or Acts This Way

The writing in Crankshaft is like nothing ever heard on TV, or anywhere outside the US Department of Agriculture Policy and Planning Directorate or the libretto for John Adams’ Dr. Atomic, for that matter:

Afghanistan is the number one country in the world when it comes to growing poppies for opium.
In an effort to stem the tide of poppy use for drugs
The government has called for an increased output of poppy seed strudel

Could mean:
Afghanistan grows more poppies than any other country
And to keep them from being used for opium
The government is asking for more poppy-seed strudel.

And this is her first tennis tournament since giving birth to her new baby girl.
The reason she’s seeded as high as she is. . . .
is because tournament officials gave her a lullaby.

Could mean:
Even in her first tournament since her daughter’s birth
She’s seeded very high
Because officials gave her a lullaby.

Gah. Seriously – somebody gets paid to write like this?
Nathaniel
November 12th, 2008 at 4:35 pm [Reply]

I’m sure Bil Keane doesn’t know this, but “hot up” is relatively standard British usage, although as a non-Briton I mainly encounter it now in headlines on British news websites.
Sue D. Nymme
November 12th, 2008 at 4:37 pm [Reply]

Mary… let’s take a walk. I can’t stand amputees.
Sequitur
November 12th, 2008 at 4:40 pm [Reply]

It looks like Pam in Crankshaft has the same thing in her coffee cup that Dolly has in her soup bowl. Ewwww.
Time to chain them to a log.
Aging Hipster
November 12th, 2008 at 4:40 pm [Reply]

FC: Grandma + Hotting-up + Oily, black “soup” = Oh my, I don’t think I will be able to finish my lunch.
marymaryk
November 12th, 2008 at 4:41 pm [Reply]

15. Balto:

Grandma just slammed that bowl down, sloshing it toward Dolly, who is about to be permenantly scarred … Good times!
Sue D. Nymme
November 12th, 2008 at 4:42 pm [Reply]

Doesn’t everyone give their children yummy nutritious coffee soup…?
Zaq
November 12th, 2008 at 4:43 pm [Reply]

Dammit, that’ll teach me to preview before I post. I apologize, but here’s what I just spent a good half-hour typing up and posting LAST thread…

Buxley day observations:

DT: Stop trying to think, and enjoy the insanity. Ahhhhh.

Cathy: This is a goddamn cry for help.

Zombie: I can’t believe I’m complimenting FOOB, but I approve of the onomatopoeia “grunch.” Now, the onomatopoeia in previous panels were clearly written by someone who has never seen a dog gnawing on something in their life, but oh well.

SlyFo: The dog is the only one wearing clothing, which will make it easier to chain to a log.

RMMD: “See, in a rare display of medical practice, your husband also mentioned to me that I’ve got maybe three months to live, so I’m gonna go for a double suicide when Tweaks is banging me tonight. Don’t tell Tweaks, though… he doesn’t know it yet.” Seriously though, if he gave you your life back (which I don’t understand how he did), why are you giving his wife (not him, mind you, his wife) the boat around which you base your life? I’d say it’s because Lenore is going to be using Tweaks’s boat from now on, now that they’re best fwends again, but if you don’t recall, Tweaks’s boat was destroyed and capsized. Oh well. That final panel makes up for a lot.

S-M: Okay, in the past three weeks, we’ve had a clock-shaped gun (which does sonic damage and reduces Reflex saves and/or AC), the fake-spidey henchman webbed up but mysteriously spirited away, the Clocksucker simply not caring to unmask Spidey, cops who believe that someone handcuffed and on the ground (without any loot, of course) is the one responsible for stealing shit, magical disappearing and reappearing nutty handcuffs that can be broken either by a train or by a door but not by spider-strength, a live camera-crew coming to investigate a robbery by coming to the front door after-hours, one of the most egregious DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY moments in recent memory in which Spidey uses a “whooo-whoooo”ing train to shatter his nutty handcuffs like glass without even touching him, and an engineer insta-calling the police to report Spidey breaking the laws of physics, to which the police respond faster than Peter Parker can change channels. Remember how we used to complain about Spidey feebly lying around, watching TV, and generally bitching? I can’t decide which is worse.

GT: And yet, I’m perfectly happy to accept the wacky, nonsensical hijinks going on in Milford. Actually, panels 1 and 2 make a lot of sense… I don’t blame Stacie for dumping the bastard. Hatt, a little advice. No matter how obnoxious it is when that Youtube link isn’t what you thought it was, Rick’s onto something when he promises never to “tell a lie and hurt you.” Maybe you should listen to him! Anyway, in the final panel… we have a beefy guy lunging at an impossible angle into another beefy guy’s ass, and the second beefy guy really doesn’t seem to notice or care that much. Cool.

Curtis: That’s four days in a row without getting quotation marks utterly wrong. Good job, Billingsley! Keep it up! (Yeah, the joke’s terrible, the dialogue’s even worse, but baby steps, baby steps.)

MW: There’s a shortage of tenterhooks around, because I’m on so many of them. What’s Mary going to do to this guy? Send him off a cliff? Ship him off to Southeast Asia? Steal his identity? Chain him to a log? Kill his mother? Dump Jeff for him? Smash his crystal swans? Tenterhooks!

SS: I reject the notion that these people can A) count backwards or B) be aware of the concept of zero.

FC: I like to think that Grandma “hotted up” the soup by dropping lit charcoal briquettes into it, thus explaining the color.

HotC: I hear “fembot,” I think “Austin Powers.” Anyone with me?

Ghost-Who-Incubates: And judging from the fact that Python there isn’t lying in a puddle of blood oozed from every orifice he has, the symptoms haven’t started yet.
Aging Hipster
November 12th, 2008 at 4:43 pm [Reply]

and DT: “MY TV IZ OUT! CAN’T GT A VISUAL!”

Spiderman, are you taking notes?
Ranger
November 12th, 2008 at 4:46 pm [Reply]

I wonder if Ted is going to invite Aria to Thanksgiving. This will be a barrel of laughs, all those women around the table. Oh the fun we will have!
One-eyed Wolfdog
November 12th, 2008 at 4:46 pm [Reply]

Thank you, Grandma, for liquoring up my brothers!
Skullturf Q. Beavispants
November 12th, 2008 at 4:47 pm [Reply]

Is the punchline in Crankshaft just supposed to be that the ending of the word “lullaby” is reminiscent of the concept of having a “bye” in a tournament?

Can something really count as a pun if two-thirds of the syllables contribute nothing at all?
Twinkles the Elf
November 12th, 2008 at 4:48 pm [Reply]

Cripes, even Grandma is phoning it in. Once upon a time, grandmothers actually MADE soup for the family — but this one has obviously dumped a can of Campbell’s into a bowl and shoved it in the microwave for ten seconds. Fortunately the kid’s standards are low — her parents probably make her eat it cold, from the can.

What do you expect from a grandmother who looks like an empty-eyed stalk of celery?
Sequitur
November 12th, 2008 at 4:48 pm [Reply]

By the way, we actually got to see the actual log chaining in Mark Trail today. Twon’t be long before “Rabbit” gets to meet the Fist ‘o Justice.

DT: Hunk of Machinery learned to speak from Pearls’ Crocs.
Kate
November 12th, 2008 at 4:53 pm [Reply]

I know I’ve seen today’s Blondie before. It was recent. Please, somebody tell me I’m not going crazy.
AAckTTpth
November 12th, 2008 at 4:53 pm [Reply]

Be thankful, very thankful, that Grandma wasn’t “hottin’ it up“.
gh
November 12th, 2008 at 4:56 pm [Reply]

#25 Uncle Lumpy –

I can’t wait to see your re-write of “You chained the daughter of a friend of mine’s pet raccoon to a log!”
krazykat
November 12th, 2008 at 4:57 pm [Reply]

Dolly is simply enjoying one of the many blood soups loved throughout the world. Nice way to inject some ethnic overtones into the strip–other than the appearance of a melonheaded brown kid once a year.
ka-pwingg
November 12th, 2008 at 4:57 pm [Reply]

All Crankshaft is missing is Brutus Thornapple quizzically looking at the reader and a “wah wah wah waaahhh” sound effect.
Ol'Froth
November 12th, 2008 at 4:58 pm [Reply]

I suspect the soup consists of the contents of PJ’s diaper.
Hawkeye
November 12th, 2008 at 4:58 pm [Reply]

MW: That guy in panel one isn’t doing inappropriate things to that skater. Look at her recoil in fear. He’s gallantly protecting her from the meddling rays Mary’s head was generating the other day. And Frank knows there could be collateral damage otherwise, so he’s pulling Mary outside to protect the other two from any Meddling vs. Jackass Smackdown fallout.
John Hewitt
November 12th, 2008 at 5:02 pm [Reply]

Thank you for creeping up my sex scene Chickweed!
Michael
November 12th, 2008 at 5:02 pm [Reply]

9CLVoyeurs watching a makeout session seems just a bit odd, not to mention perverted.

DM Not only has Alice scratched the car, but parking by a fire hydrant is illegal in most places.

BB Well, if you want my opinion, that’s not a funny joke.
BeeF
November 12th, 2008 at 5:06 pm [Reply]

“Beth-Chu-Harebzed”? Really?

Wikipedia’s got nothin’. Google just brings you back to the post. Are you that busy that you couldn’t take 5 seconds to find a REAL terrifyingly demonic name? Why not just mail it in with “Lee-Ann-Womack” or “Mar-Eloo-Rettin”?
Isaac
November 12th, 2008 at 5:09 pm [Reply]

FW: I don’t get it.
FC: Serving oil instead of soup makes it clear Grandma is now in the advanced stages of dementia. That or she’s trying to kill Dolly.
Probably the latter.
Amateur
November 12th, 2008 at 5:10 pm [Reply]

I’m going to make a prediction: Frank is yanking Mary backwards by her elbow out the door to tell her about his plans for a Harding/Gillooly-style whacking of Little House on the Prairie Girl.

You heard it here first.
willethompson
November 12th, 2008 at 5:13 pm [Reply]

MT: Mark drifts up to the edge of the clot of yammering rustics like a moss-backed alligator navigating the shore of scum-thick swamp. His right hand clenches and twitches as he surveys the upper lips and cheeks of the buck-toothed nabobs for punchable facial hair. So far, nothing… however, his left hand holds an uncapped Sharpie, perfect for drawing a quick Frito Bandito mustache on any nearby miscreant. Even the Fist O’ Justice needs a target.
teddytoad
November 12th, 2008 at 5:14 pm [Reply]

Shh, Josh! Dolly’s about to eat boiling tar and be silenced forever! DON’T WARN HER!!
Eric the baker
November 12th, 2008 at 5:17 pm [Reply]

#15 Balto – Be careful, the things you’ve noticed are indicative of the non-Euclidean geometry evidenced in the realm of the Great Old Ones. The warped gravity fields and misshapen perspective is a sign that the Family Keane are cultists trying to summon Nyarthelhotep, Shub-Nigguruth, and the great Cthulhu into our world. Witness also, the misshapen body and head of the clan, as well as Dolly’s consumption of her bowl of blood, which she charmingly calls “soup”

Dig no further, lest you lose the sanity you have. You have discovered things that man should not know!
Aging Hipster
November 12th, 2008 at 5:19 pm [Reply]

Michael @47, I thought today’s 9CL implicated us all as filthy, filthy voyeurs.
Sequitur
November 12th, 2008 at 5:20 pm [Reply]

Dolly should be chanting, “asinus asinum fricat.” It’s Latin. Look it up.
Erik
November 12th, 2008 at 5:20 pm [Reply]

9 Chickweed Lane – I could comment on the extremely weird turn this strip is taking (voyeurs? really?!), but I’ve gotta say, the sex in that strip is unlike anything I’ve encountered before. Before, we had the whole hand thing. Now it’s become apparent that Amos and Edda – are those their names? – sex each other up by holding the same position for four panels. What the hell?
Willy
November 12th, 2008 at 5:21 pm [Reply]

MW: Uh oh. I thought the rule was nobody lays a hand on Mary. Someone’s about to get moralized!
One-eyed Wolfdog
November 12th, 2008 at 5:22 pm [Reply]

Thank you, invisible contest announcer, for raccooning up our log!
Li’l Bunnë FooFoo
November 12th, 2008 at 5:25 pm [Reply]

MW: I think this is the coloring error to beat all coloring errors. Worse than a autumn leaves colored green, worse than swapped races. Most of her sleeve was colored as if it were his coat, and thus it appears that he’s helping her into his clothing. Or like her arm just ceases to exist after a certain point.

I wanted to say something funny, but I got nuthin. It’s just creepy, that’s all.
Lettuce
November 12th, 2008 at 5:26 pm [Reply]

Family Circus: Note: Those aren’t steam ripples, rising up from the black soup, but rather, facial worms descending from Dolly’s face into the bowl. The recipe for this homeopathic face-worm removal remedy can be found on page 232 of “Jef and Bill Keane’s Health Secrets ‘They’ Don’t Want You To Know.”
ka-pwingg
November 12th, 2008 at 5:26 pm [Reply]

#49 Isaac: The tennis player is getting a “bye”, or automatic pass, into the second round. Since she had a baby, it’s a lulla-”bye”.

(waits for head to explode from hearty guffaws)
Islamorada Girl
November 12th, 2008 at 5:27 pm [Reply]

GH : “I can’t wait to see your re-write of “You chained the daughter of a friend of mine’s pet raccoon to a log!”

I double dog dare you to parse that sentence, old friend!
Zach
November 12th, 2008 at 5:28 pm [Reply]

9 Chickweed Lane-those aren’t just any voyeurs-that’s edda’s mother, gay roommate, and his boyfriend. 9CL is to “creepy” as Family Circus is the “Inspiring blind rage”
One-eyed Wolfdog
November 12th, 2008 at 5:31 pm [Reply]

I have to say, the look of amused disdain on Sneaky’s face in the second panel is just awesome. “Your pathetic confinement mechanism is child’s play,” he thinks, “a topological triviality; and although it will require a mere eyeblink for me to effect my escape, the suffering of your loved ones is going to be a more… protracted affair, oh yes. The next time I wash my hands, sir, it will be because they are soaked in your children’s blood and tears.”
Lettuce
November 12th, 2008 at 5:37 pm [Reply]

Dick Tracy: Seeing the bad Robot shoot a laser out of its verticle mouth causing anyone else a flashback to David Lynch’s “Dune?” Or anything by Cronenberg? And I truly am impressed that an engineer would program the Good Robot to shield his eyes in pain with his robot hand (Shoulda-had-a-V-8′-style), rather than just installing a, um, shield.

Spider-man: Oh, it’s always about YOU, isn’t it Spidey? You see the cops, and just ASSUME they’re coming to get YOU — rather than, I don’t know, help all those people dying in the train you just derailed.
DaveyK
November 12th, 2008 at 5:40 pm [Reply]

Could Frank possibly be asking Mary to “take a walk” the way Sonny Corleone would intend that phrase? Because I would totally dig watching Mary meddle her way out of being whacked.
Lettuce
November 12th, 2008 at 5:41 pm [Reply]

Phantom: So now we know. Those dark triangles under the Phantom’s face aren’t from make-up, but rather, tears of blood as the ebola virus causes the membranes in his body to break down.

The lines on his panties, too…
Tom the Pirate
November 12th, 2008 at 5:41 pm [Reply]

I’m just grateful that the terrifying flake of snow that sent a geriatric old pizza man fleeing for his life managed to hang in the air long enough for Les and Crazy to investigate. Otherwise, they might have just chalked it all up to dementia.

And I am likewise grateful that they grinned sardonically at each other, to let us know it was time to chuckle.
Poteet
November 12th, 2008 at 5:46 pm [Reply]

CRANKSHAFT — I appreciate being told that today’s strip featured a “joke.” The woman in the chair looks as bewildered as I was.
Comrade Denny
November 12th, 2008 at 5:51 pm [Reply]

MT: Alright! Look at that grim profile in Panel 1! Mark’s a-fixin’ to get his punch on!
Tom the Pirate
November 12th, 2008 at 5:58 pm [Reply]

What a great racket! Kids pay to get carried off and eaten by a great big drooling dog!
Calico
November 12th, 2008 at 5:59 pm [Reply]

#55 – Fried ass of cat in that soup?
(I know, how awful)
bats :[
November 12th, 2008 at 6:00 pm [Reply]

I hope Mark brought Andy along — Andy’s also good in a fight, particularly against grungy old yaller dawgs.
Tom the Pirate
November 12th, 2008 at 6:01 pm [Reply]

Nice to see Rose warming up for the big night ahead. Looks like Jimbo gets to be on the bottom this time.
PeteMoss
November 12th, 2008 at 6:03 pm [Reply]

*obligatory shout-out*

One-eyed Wolfdog @ #64 & #58

gh @ #41

bwahahahahahahahaha, hahahahah, hahahahah, haha!

please continue.
Tom the Pirate
November 12th, 2008 at 6:03 pm [Reply]

OK, I can understand how Spidey used a train wheel to slice his handcuffs apart. But … how did he get the bracelets off? Breaking the chain in the middle does NOT cause structural integrity to fail … unlike the structural integrity of this plot, which was thrown under a train’s wheels long ago.
saxman
November 12th, 2008 at 6:07 pm [Reply]

48 BeeF

Thanks Josh!

I tried to look up “Beth-Chu-Harebzed” with about six alternative spellings. No luck. If I set off any alarms at my day job’s network security and/or the NSA I only have you to blame.

On the other hand, I did find this:

http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.sallys-place.com/food/columns/biro/soup_cherry_brio.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.sallys-place.com/food/columns/biro/cherry_soup.htm&h=300&w=300&sz=14&hl=en&start=3&usg=__gbJLoLK_Rd3kZDiVNgxEsNC9kYU=&tbnid=87I24HoH7IVS0M:&tbnh=116&tbnw=116&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dblack%2Bsoup%26gbv%3D2%26hl%3Den
Calico
November 12th, 2008 at 6:10 pm [Reply]

#76 – SM just had Margo Magee stare at the Nutty Cuffs for a few seconds, and they melted into plasma.
Spidey, chained to a log. If only.
UncleJeff
November 12th, 2008 at 6:21 pm [Reply]

OK. I laughed at “Funky.”
We had our first real snow of the season this morning and knowing a lot of “snowbirds” locally, I have a feeling more than a few of them reacted as Tony Montoni did.

PBS – Rat and Pig HUGGING???
PeteMoss
November 12th, 2008 at 6:22 pm [Reply]

Dolly enjoys the whole-grain goodness of Brimstone brand snack crackers with her demonic, inky soup. It soaks up all the juicy evil and is 100% trans-fat free. Brimstone – The perfect snack for your little cracker.
UncleJeff
November 12th, 2008 at 6:22 pm [Reply]

Phantom – Uh, Doctor Whateveryernameis, are you sure it’s a good idea to let someone who may have Ebola mess around with your mess kit?
UncleJeff
November 12th, 2008 at 6:23 pm [Reply]

Oh, while I laughed at “Funky’s” snowflake, I laughed even harder at the joke someone made in the last thread about “Winker-field”.
Li’l Bunnë FooFoo
November 12th, 2008 at 6:27 pm [Reply]

Zach – you know, I was trying to figure out who they were this morning. I’m not 100% convinced. Why would Juliette be wearing a beret? On the other hand, who would anyone wear a beret? Not to be dissing 9CL’s sartorial choices; if I wanted to complain about outfits I’d start with A3G and then move on to Gil Thorp and Mark Trail.
Li’l Bunnë FooFoo
November 12th, 2008 at 6:30 pm [Reply]

Poteet RE: Crankshaft
I’m with you.

Actually, I just don’t get it. Whatever joke may be there escapes me completely. And don’t anyone go trying to explain it to me, I don’t actually want to know.
yellojkt
November 12th, 2008 at 6:30 pm [Reply]

Frotteurism: The kink you can enjoy anywhere. Thanks for the public awareness campaign, Mary.
Dingle Dongle
November 12th, 2008 at 6:33 pm [Reply]

MW: In the first panel Frank vaguely looks like Aldo’s long-lost cousin. So much anger in that family.
Amateur
November 12th, 2008 at 6:34 pm [Reply]

#76 — “OK, I can understand how Spidey used a train wheel to slice his handcuffs apart.”

Then I wish to goodness you’d explain it to the rest of us.
Beatrice
November 12th, 2008 at 6:42 pm [Reply]

Archie: “I used a bunsen burner to cook Hot Dog” would justify Archie’s startled expression.

Panel Two from Dick Tracy and Dilbert could be swapped with no loss of continuity.

Garfield: Liz wouldn’t last a day on the line at Perdue Farms.

JP: “Takes me back to a ‘lady’ I knew in San Francisco.”

The rabbit lady in Pluggers is gettin’ around some.
whatever
November 12th, 2008 at 6:42 pm [Reply]

GT: “hey, Ed, I’ve got tickets to the Dolphins game – 50 yard line – wanna go ?”
“Nah, I’m going to the raccoon contest down in the swamp.”
Well, shut my mouth and chain me to a log.
Aging Hipster
November 12th, 2008 at 6:48 pm [Reply]

Amateur @87, I actually went through the last week of Spiderman to see how this was done. Apparently, he was able to position the cuffs sideways against the rail, and the train wheel shattered them into a million pieces of razor-sharp shrapnel.

I prefer to believe that he used the train to severe his hands from his body and then used the proportional regenerative powers of a spider to regrow them.
Calico
November 12th, 2008 at 6:50 pm [Reply]

#84 – A bye in sports is ultimately a freebie, where you move up a notch without having to play anyone in that particular round.
Still, a dumb joke for the CS context.

#77 – that soup looks mighty good – much better than Grandma Keane’s demon-elixir.
Josh
November 12th, 2008 at 6:51 pm [Reply]

#77 Saxman — While the word was the sort of thing that just flew off the fingertips, I gave it some thought and I *think* it might be something from the Simpsons, maybe? I’m recalling an episode where Bart and Lisa are at the Flanders house and playing some kind of Bible trivia game, the questions getting increasingly obscure, and that faux-Hebrewism may have figured into one of them.

Josh
BaHa
November 12th, 2008 at 6:57 pm [Reply]

CS: Okay, this is a huge peeve of mine; when’s the last time you heard of someone giving birth to an old/used/pre-owned baby girl?
D.E.I.
November 12th, 2008 at 6:59 pm [Reply]

#36 A Crankshaft character went grocery shopping. She brought her grocery neopostexistentialist.
monsieurjohn
November 12th, 2008 at 7:03 pm [Reply]

hey, whatever happened to chennux?
Jana C.H.
November 12th, 2008 at 7:03 pm [Reply]

#36 Skullturf– Thank you for explaining the “lullabye” pun. I had no idea what they were talking about.

Now seeding… that means they’re using her ovaries to create little clone tennis players, right?

Jana C.H.
Seattle
Saith E.G. Forbes: Never spoil a good story with too much truth.
Dingo
November 12th, 2008 at 7:09 pm [Reply]

#11: At first I thought you wrote “snug assholes” and that was a Funky Winkerbean I didn’t need to see. Mark Trail? Yes. Phantom? Possibly. But they don’t call ‘im “funky” for no reason!

Hmm… I bet Snug Asshole is Tommie Thompson’s name online.
Mumbles
November 12th, 2008 at 7:30 pm [Reply]

A3G: In tomorrow’s strip, Gary will discuss his Tommy troubles with his best friend, God, played by George Burns.

Then to cheer himself up he’ll sing a spirited version of “Grandma’s Feather Bed” with the Muppets.
One-eyed Wolfdog
November 12th, 2008 at 7:36 pm [Reply]

#80 – PeteMoss – I can hear this comment in no other voice than that of Tom Servo, and there’s nothing wrong with that.
Saluki
November 12th, 2008 at 7:38 pm [Reply]

All I’m going to say about today’s Crankshaft is that their entertainment center is soooo twentieth century.
PeteMoss
November 12th, 2008 at 8:09 pm [Reply]

One-eyed Wolfdog @ 99

That damn little robotic gumball machine has influenced me in ways I’ve yet to fully comprehend. This is not unlike the effect Beth-Chu-Harebzed* has had around the entire Keane compound.

*I’m sure Josh is on to something with this. It’s gotta be a real minion from hell, I tell ya, or, at least, some Hebrew name for a babylonian sexual position.
Erik
November 12th, 2008 at 8:11 pm [Reply]

By the way, re: Judge Parker – can anybody explain to me why the name “Dixie Julep” is funny? One of the characters in today’s strip was amused by the name, and I know the writers pride themselves on their ability to come up with humorous names (explaining the month of strips with the “Dewey Cheatham – IS HIS PARTNER NAMED HOWE?!?” gag).
Violet
November 12th, 2008 at 8:11 pm [Reply]

#92 Josh: Thank you so much for explaining that reference; I knew it sounded maddeningly familiar but I could not place it. I think that’s the same sequence where they’re trying to get the kids to guess the name of some biblical creature with like two fire breathing heads and a tail made of snakes or something like that and Bart’s like “I don’t know, um…Jesus?”
the crock
November 12th, 2008 at 8:12 pm [Reply]

Definition: HOTTING
Pouring Jagermeister into something.
Joe Blevins
November 12th, 2008 at 8:30 pm [Reply]

‘SHAFT: It could’ve been worse. Given the tennis player’s recent pregnancy, the writer could’ve gone with a pun on the word “seeded.” As in: “She hasn’t been seeded this high since her husband impregnated her in an airplane rest room last year.” See how that would’ve been worse?
Lolsworth
November 12th, 2008 at 8:34 pm [Reply]

FC: It’s clearly tar (cf link in name), but seriouspost: what precisely is the actual joke in today’s actual Family Circus?
Mary Worth Discussion Group
November 12th, 2008 at 8:39 pm [Reply]

My god the heat between Mary and Frank is wild…I can’t decide if Frank is ready to ravage Mary or perhaps (as my friend Joanne suggests) decaptiate her.
Mary Worth Discussion Group
November 12th, 2008 at 8:44 pm [Reply]

Another comment…

The sicko father/coach in panel one has an evil grin and seems to be cheering on Frank .. perhaps he has witnessed Frank’s uncontrolable rage with women …the daughter/skater/she kitten looks scared to death as if she knows the fate of any woman that ends up in Frank’s arms
Aging Hipster
November 12th, 2008 at 8:46 pm [Reply]

Lolsworth @106, you’re assuming there is a joke in today’s Family Circus.
Aging Hipster
November 12th, 2008 at 8:48 pm [Reply]

Does Frank put on a jacket between panels one and two? A jacket the exact same color as his sweater?

God, I can’t believe I have looked at that comic so closely.
bats :[
November 12th, 2008 at 8:49 pm [Reply]

Gads, this took some work.
The Simpsons episode is “Home Sweet Home- Diddily- Dum- Doodily,” and originally aired in October 1995. Marge and Homer are accused of child neglect, and the kids are packed off to a foster home while their parents are subjected to parenting classes.
The board game that the Flanders play is “Bombardment of Bible questions,” with the Bible reference used the Vulgate of St. Jerome.

Ned: Well…?
Todd: I know!
Ned: No, son, we’ve got to let Bart and Lisa get one. Come on, this one’s easy.
Lisa: [pause] We give up.
Ned: Well, guess! Book of Revelations, fire-breathing lion’s head, tail made out of snakes…who else is it going to be?
Bart: [unsure] Jesus?
Ned: [yelling] Je…Jes…don’t you kids know anything? The Serpent of Rehaboam?
[the kids look blank]
The Well of Zohassadar?
[the kids look blank]
The Bridal Feast of Beth Chedruharazzeb?

This, and way too much other information on the series, can be found at http://www.snpp.com . While this is one of my favorite episodes (gotta love that wintergreen low-fat ice milk), there’s no way I could remember Josh’s reference…amazing memory, Yer Holiness!
bats :[
November 12th, 2008 at 8:51 pm [Reply]

Oh, I think they served Dolly’s soup as an appetizer course at the above-mentioned wedding…
Uncle Lumpy
November 12th, 2008 at 9:00 pm [Reply]

#111 bats :[ –

Hneh, hneh — you said “vulgate.”
Revsfan
November 12th, 2008 at 9:05 pm [Reply]

GT oughta make better use of sound effects. There should be a SLAM in there somewhere.
Joe Blevins
November 12th, 2008 at 9:07 pm [Reply]

Re #110: Aging Hipster

Yes, indeed, Frank’s pumpkin-colored sweater does morph into a pumpkin-colored jacket in panel 2. Either that, or there are two Franks working tag-team style. One withstands Mary’s constant wheedling for as long as human possibly, then taps out and lets the other step in. This is actually how the Worth-iverse functions. There are like eight Jeffs working in shifts.
Farley's Revenge
November 12th, 2008 at 9:55 pm [Reply]

Does Frank think he can browbeat MW? She’ll drop him at ten paces with one self-righteous platitude aimed right between his beady little eyes.

Not even Reader’s Digest’s “Quotable Quotes” can help him now. He’s doomed and doesn’t even know it yet.

Meanwhile, the weird coach and the skater are double-lutzing in the foyer, right in front of *insert Deity name here* and everyone.
Isaac
November 12th, 2008 at 9:55 pm [Reply]

110- All clothes naturally wrinkle when in the presence of Mary Worth’s meddling. It’s the same sweater, except it is scrunching up in an attempt to die.
gleeb
November 12th, 2008 at 10:18 pm [Reply]

32 (Zaq): Actually, when I hear “fembot”, I think John Houseman.
Paperback Rifler
November 12th, 2008 at 10:21 pm [Reply]

Hey, have there been any Funky mashups regarding Tony Montoni’s flying south with the sun like the swallow or, like the house martin and the plover, seeking warmer climes in winter? I gave it a shot, but it is what it is:

Variation 1

Variation 2

Variation 3

Variation 4

Variation 5

(It’s all suitable for work, or “SFW,” but you probably shouldn’t try to include it in any presentations.)
simboy
November 12th, 2008 at 10:30 pm [Reply]

I swear on my father’s grave, on my first read of Apt 3G I thought Gary said “No, but lunch is a problem. I’ll have to take a piss, Tommie.”
commodorejohn
November 12th, 2008 at 10:34 pm [Reply]

#119 Paperback Rifler – Variation 2 is solid gold.
King Folderol
November 12th, 2008 at 10:39 pm [Reply]

FC – If this is the result of Grandma “hotting” something “up”, I’m guessing that Grandpa stopped touching her in the late 1950s.
aloria
November 12th, 2008 at 10:43 pm [Reply]

#111 bats :[ – that was godlike. let’s make a baby.
dyslexic dog
November 12th, 2008 at 10:58 pm [Reply]

#119 — Paperback Rifler:

Variation 4 for Mashup Of The Week.
Lake Eerie Log Chains
November 12th, 2008 at 11:06 pm [Reply]

119 Paperback Rifler
Number 5, I tell ya!
Farley's Revenge
November 12th, 2008 at 11:11 pm [Reply]

#119-Paperback Rifler: While I liked all of them, I especially liked #2.

It makes the smirks of the two pinheads even more entertaining. They smugly think the one guy is nuts while totally oblivious to their own impending doom.
ms. docweasel
November 12th, 2008 at 11:20 pm [Reply]

I thought all male skaters and their coaches were gay? Why is he molesting a girl?
dyslexic dog
November 12th, 2008 at 11:22 pm [Reply]

#127 — ms. docweasel:
Tranny.
rhymes with puck
November 12th, 2008 at 11:24 pm [Reply]

MW: Oh, NO, Frank! NO ONE PUTS MARY IN A CORNER!

FC: Psyche, Dolly, that was Gaspazcho I ‘hotted’ up! Now excuse me while I slap your mother for not teaching you any grammar.

Crankshaft: Is there a reason that she is sitting 2 feet away from the TV in a single chair? Even their living room is set up to minimize any possible chance of speaking to each other.
Lisa
November 12th, 2008 at 11:27 pm [Reply]

9CL- No way are those people Juliette and Seth and whoever…. Edda and Amos are in Belgium, remember… those are just your garden variety Belgian voyeurs at work there……
anonymous
November 13th, 2008 at 12:01 am [Reply]

The reason she’s “seeded” as “high” as she is: an increased output of poppy seed strudel.

(Also, you get a bye in a tournament because you have a high seeding, not the other way around.)
messybessy
November 13th, 2008 at 12:13 am [Reply]

It looks more and more like Ted and Aria will be spending a long Thanksgiving weekend playing World of Warcraft. They might get around to cleaning the garage too.
Judo Throw Toy
November 13th, 2008 at 12:25 am [Reply]

I’m not quite sure what it is, but there’s something about the last panel in A3G which makes me think that the word balloon should read “You’re trying to seduce me, Mrs. Robinson.”
Doctorb
November 13th, 2008 at 12:57 am [Reply]

gotta love that wintergreen low-fat ice milk

Unflavored for me!
Angry Kem
November 13th, 2008 at 1:12 am [Reply]

Thursday:

Oh, Aria, Aria, Aria, Aria, Aria…

…………Oh, Ted, Ted, Ted, Ted, Ted, Ted, Ted…

……This can’t end well.
Cambiata
November 13th, 2008 at 1:50 am [Reply]

102 – Er, well, I can’t really explain why anyone would think it was funny, but I can explain why someone would try to pass it off as a joke: Dixie Julep is the name of an drink made from Bourbon.
Scherzo chained to a log
November 13th, 2008 at 1:52 am [Reply]

9CL: I believe the voyeurs to be the judges of the musical competion Amos is in.
Poteet
November 13th, 2008 at 1:57 am [Reply]

MT — “Of course if it weren’t a pet raccoon, you could let the dogs rip it to pieces for all I care, being as how that’s your local custom and all. I’m just a visitor here, and if local customs are okay with Pop and his family, they’re okay with me.”
Poteet
November 13th, 2008 at 2:01 am [Reply]

MW — “Feelings”….nothing more than “feelings”…trying to forget my “feelings” of love…
bats :[
November 13th, 2008 at 2:12 am [Reply]

A few Thursday observations:

RMMD: is it just me, or does anyone else want to smack that smile on Sarah’s face into next Sunday?

Not too much to comment upon, other than a sudden plethora of “emo” kids…
http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/3026169795/
and more:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/3026172303/sizes/o/
Erik
November 13th, 2008 at 2:16 am [Reply]

136 – Thanks. I would have Googled it, but I thought it was a play on words.

140 – You’re not the only one. If I’m thinking of the right strip, both the second and third panels had disturbing facial expressions. Is Lenore trying, in her old-womanly way, to seduce Sarah like she did… ole what’s his name in the cabin?
Poteet
November 13th, 2008 at 2:18 am [Reply]

# 140 bats — Re Widdle Sawah, last time I saw a smile like that, it was on someone wearing a robe and beads who was passing out tracts in an airport around 1976.
CrazyEskimo
November 13th, 2008 at 2:20 am [Reply]

Today’s Dick Tracy marks a new high point in artistic expression on the comic’s page. Not content to simply shape his black lines in ways that would visually represent the intense brightness of the laser light the robot is firing, the artist has instead chosen the infinitely more difficult task of arranging those lines into words! I look forward to this technique being adopted into other comics with random parallel lines being labelled “racoon” (Mark Trail), “moping” (Spiderman), and “how the hell should I know?” (Gil Thorp).
Aging Hipster
November 13th, 2008 at 2:25 am [Reply]

@106, the more that I think about it, it sounds like one of the punishments of Tartarus.

Roll this rock up this hill.

Fill this tub using a sieve.

Find the the joke in this Family Circus.
Lunarhalo
November 13th, 2008 at 2:45 am [Reply]

Family Circus: Those soda crackers are salted with the dessicated tears of angels

Crankshaft:

In related news,
the writer of a widely circulated newspaper cartoon
was discovered to be a squirrel,
which explains his interest in nuts.

sorry…

Recently I’ve been trying to use the daily Archie comics as inspiration for sonnets.

I’m a few days behind at the moment but I’m sure I’ll get to so extended bunson burner metaphor in due course
Mibbitmaker
November 13th, 2008 at 4:39 am [Reply]

11/13:

JP: All of a sudden, out of nowhere, Sarah became a “special needs kid”.

MW: That must be some scarf, his eyes are getting all Keane Painting over it. (And, no, “Keane Painting” doesn’t mean the Family Circus kids in oil on canvas)

MF: Coulda fooled me!

DT: “…And now, back to Dick Tracy and his ringside blow-by-blow of all tonight’s boxing action…!”

ReFOOB: That’s odd — that’s the same thing we’ve been saying to this comic strip for the last few years now…
Sheila Sternwell
November 13th, 2008 at 4:50 am [Reply]

JP: That’s just tasteless. We don’t need to see Sarah doing her Mickey Rooney in “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” impersonation.

SF: I complained about SF leaving Ted’s new office friend story unresolved a few days ago, because I am an impertinent sow. The storyline immediately picked up and here we are, moments away from Sally ripping the new girl to shreds. I for one cannot wait.
Alfred E. Neuman
November 13th, 2008 at 5:16 am [Reply]

Thursday stuff

9CL— Those musical competition judges take their jobs way too seriously.

A3G— You shouldn’t be surprised, Tommie. By now you should know that 99% of all males in serial comic strips are asexual.

FC— If you enjoy breathing, don’t tempt him, Jeffy.

Luann— Luann will now embark upon a career of naive but amusing phone sex. Bernice will be her biggest customer.

MW— All problems can be resolved by a designer scarf.

Zits— #130 (previous thread) AmazingThor— You nailed it! Time to head to Las Vegas.
MWDG again
November 13th, 2008 at 5:35 am [Reply]

Frank is going to stangle lovely Lynn with a scarf he wears while dressed in DRAG
MWDG again
November 13th, 2008 at 5:36 am [Reply]

and I meant “stangle”
The Restless Mouse
November 13th, 2008 at 6:36 am [Reply]

I think Bil and Jeff Keane probably argued bitterly over the caption Bil came up with.

Jeff lost the argument, and got all passive aggressive; drawing Dolly even more bloated than usual, making her consume gravity-defying India Ink, like he had to at that age.

Bil Keane’s dad named him Bil before he abandoned the family, knowing he would have to get tough or die.
gleeb
November 13th, 2008 at 7:37 am [Reply]

Archie: Nobody smiles when they’re doing calculus, but some wear full evening dress when teaching calculus.

Sam & Steve’s cell phone adventures: Slowly, inevitably, they approach the solution I reached weeks ago: the stripper did it, probably to get hold of the dog.

Pliuggers: …attempt, even in the smallest ways, to evade the laws.
John C Fremont
November 13th, 2008 at 7:44 am [Reply]

RMMD – Hey, Sarah just turned into Little Jimmy Osmond. Didn’t see that coming.
Moggy
November 13th, 2008 at 7:57 am [Reply]

They’ll do it every time.
Pinback65
November 13th, 2008 at 8:14 am [Reply]

153–Thank you so much for referencing an Osmond, as any mention of such automatically triggers an endless loop of “Crazy Horses” in my head. Sadly, this can only be exorcised by singing the damned thing out loud. I’m sure my co-workers will thank you as well.
willethompson
November 13th, 2008 at 8:49 am [Reply]

MW: Nothing says ‘conditional love’ like a designer scarf inspired by the tentacles of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
C. Havoc
November 13th, 2008 at 9:29 am [Reply]

RMMD: “That’s what she said!”

I didn’t even read the rest of the dialog.
C. Havoc
November 13th, 2008 at 9:29 am [Reply]

Ted Forth: “My what? Where?

Ces makes me laugh.
Brick Bradford
November 13th, 2008 at 9:41 am [Reply]

9CL The sad part is that the sounds Edda is making on the piano right now are far superior to her playing.

MT Unarmed, save for the Right Fist O’ Justice, Mark takes on a whole passel (sp?) of rednecks and their hopped up mongrels? Worse, Rabbit has no facial hair.The Fist is powerless against a hairless face. Maybe tomorrow we’ll see Mark chained to a log

MW Okay, okay, the kid’s going to break a leg or something and Frank is going to realize that his dreams have already come true, blah blah blah.
OR, he’s going to back off and tell her to just do her best and she’s going to win a gold medal in the Olympics, in spite of this not being an Olympic year in “Lake Tranquil”, blah blah blah. Cut to the last strip and let’s see Mary and Jeff eat some more glop.
Ranger
November 13th, 2008 at 9:41 am [Reply]

Thursday DT:
DOWN GOES TRAZE-R! DOWN GOES TRAZE-R! DOWN GOES TRAZE-R!*

*in the Howard Cosell tongue.
Hogenmogen
November 13th, 2008 at 9:49 am [Reply]

FC (above): “ten thousand demons”? Is that the equivalent of thirty seven cougars?
Lake Eerie Log Chains
November 13th, 2008 at 9:57 am [Reply]

160 Ranger, I salute you
Saluki
November 13th, 2008 at 9:58 am [Reply]

I’m a little concerned about how nonchalant Gil Thorp is about his student athlete. I wonder if the rest of the faculty is as callous about their extracurricular activities.

“An accident in the lab and Future Chemists of America club member Stinky McNerdy ends up with third degree burns on his face.”

Professor McBeaker says, “Tough burn for Stinky – and for us. Is Melvin Poindexter ready to come up from the chess club?”
Little Guy
November 13th, 2008 at 10:04 am [Reply]

Crankshaft: Okay, I liked that. Kill me.

MT: Sorry, I can’t come up with a good “Silly Rabbit” pun. This is as good as it gets:

“Listen here, stranger, but you have no business interfering with the World Congress of Mustached Men. What do you think you’re going to do about it?”
Saluki
November 13th, 2008 at 10:07 am [Reply]

PBS: Well ain’t that a kick in the nuts.
Lake Eerie Log Chains
November 13th, 2008 at 10:11 am [Reply]

It may seem like an off day for Gil Thorp, but there is plenty of madness to be had.
First of all, how does this http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComic.mpl?date=2008/11/12&name=Gil_Thorp result in a broken collarbone for #2?
Keeping mind I’ve had no medical training, is this http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComic.mpl?date=2008/11/13&name=Gil_Thorp the appropriate way to move someone with a broken collarbone? Wouldn’t that hurt him a bit? Did the artist get it mixed up with a twisted ankle?
In the second panel, we must appreciate how Kaz, oblivious to everything around him, holds his coffee cup with only his index finger and stares inside it. What is he looking at? A piece of plaster? An eyeball? A finger? Dolly’s inky black soup?
Ah, but in the third panel it’s back to the language, spoken by early 70s GI Joe action figure: “The little dude’s a blur.” What? Does this mean you can never find him in class? Is he like the out-of-focus Robin Williams in Woody Allen’s Deconstructing Harry? Perhaps when you get a good look at him, he still reminds you of an entity in a Japanese horror film?
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
November 13th, 2008 at 10:12 am [Reply]

Archie: If I were Archie, sitting there with a smile like that on my face, you can bet it wouldn’t be Veronica’s head in my thought bubble.

Curtis: Oooh, SNAP! You tell that biyotch where she stands, C-dog mah man! Now she’ll respect you, or else you give her tha pimp hand! That’s the way!

(WT)DT: Damn it, I was gonna do the “Down goes TRAZE-R!” bit, but Ranger beat me to it. So I’ll just point out that Dilbert works at Diet Smith Industries.

thorps. G.I. Joe has really fallen a long way from his days as a Real American Hero to JV assistant coach at Milford High. But he’s not as pathetic as Deonte Baines, whose two panels yesterday and today will make up the sum total of his appearances in this strip. He must have bought the $50 cameo appearance package.

MW: If his thought bubble is to be believed, Frank’s been keeping that designer scarf in his pants.

MT: Look out, Rabbit! Mark is gonna kick your cottontail all the way down the bunny Trail… of tears!

Stripeybutt of the Jungle: …is a dick. I want Guran to go over and slap that bowl right out of his hands.

One-Eyed Sailor: Oh, how I long for the relative sanity of the man-eating cow plotline.
Lake Eerie Log Chains
November 13th, 2008 at 10:17 am [Reply]

166 & 167:
Hey jinx on the GI Joe bit. Kids who grew up in the 70s apparently do think alike
Ranger
November 13th, 2008 at 10:29 am [Reply]

167: Sorry about that Spider-Brick. When I read it this morning, that is the first thing that popped in my head.
bartcow
November 13th, 2008 at 10:33 am [Reply]

I know I’m not the first person to be baffled by today’s Crankshaft. Is there a pun? A joke? How do you give someone a lullaby? What does tennis have to do with Afghanistan? Are these newscasters delivering this “news” with the famed Batiuk smirk, and if so, can I please punch them in the nose?

On a side note, I originally (and accidentally) typed “Crankshat”. Upon reflection, I should have left it.
aloria
November 13th, 2008 at 10:39 am [Reply]

JP – This kid is supposed to have some sort of developmental disorder, right? Because, if not, I I can’t think of any excuse for her being drawn like Alex Borstein as Bunny Swan.
Bootsy
November 13th, 2008 at 10:39 am [Reply]

Okay, Mr. Rabbit, or whatever your name is! Your fun is over!

“You’ve got to be kidding!” has got to be the truest thing ever said in Mark Trail. I spun around in my chair this morning and chortled when I saw Mark Trail. Good thing I have the corner office so no one noticed.

One-eyed Wolfdog: sharp ears, cheek tufts, you’re on fire today!
Calvin's Cardboard Box
November 13th, 2008 at 10:54 am [Reply]

I know the soap opera strips can be difficult to tell apart, so here is a scorecard:

JP = Judge Parker = Strip where two fully-dressed lawyers discuss a stripper named Dixie. Why must Baretto waste the opportunity to cut away to Dixie at work? I expect better!!!

RMMD = Rex Morgan MD = The strip with the freakishly-drawn child today

MT = Mark Trail = Another strip that often features a freakishly-drawn little girl, but which today cuts away to a cute raccoon in need of help. Punching : Imminent!!

DT = Dick Tracey = Also features punching, but by anthropomorphic robots

The circle of comics continues. Still doesn’t explain all the freaks in the balloon videotaping Amos n’ Eddanthony as they post, paralyzed by lust, on top of a piano, though.
Calvin's Cardboard Box
November 13th, 2008 at 10:56 am [Reply]

Shut up!! They could be “posting” on top of that piano!! Maybe even to this very website!! Though that still doesn’t explain why they haven’t moved in three days.
Lake Eerie Log Chains
November 13th, 2008 at 11:05 am [Reply]

Crankshaft – shouldn’t “jokes” and even labored “puns” have some sort of context or setup? Or, shouldn’t they at least have something to say about the qualities of the subject?
Why not:
“They went to dinner at Crapplebees.”
“They went to get a steak at Outbreak.”
“They went shopping for a better TV at Breast Guy.”
“They went to see ‘Jack and Miriam Make a Promo’ at the Chinemark.”
“They wanted to take some time to themselves, so they got a room at Motel Sex.”
Is there any point that Ed is a kindred soul of Dolly of the Family Circus?
Lake Eerie Log Chains
November 13th, 2008 at 11:09 am [Reply]

175 Me
Is there any point OTHER THAN Crankshaft is a kindred spirit of Dolly of the family Circus?
Reedng iz fndamentle, right Traze-R?
Artist formerly known as Ben
November 13th, 2008 at 11:20 am [Reply]

11/13

MF: Not to open up a can of worms here, but Tinz still seems convinced that Obama spent the entire election pointing at people and shouting “Racist! Racist!” The actual campaign escaped his attention.

MT: Who can blame Rabbit for being put out? You plan a nice clean bloodsport. You put up fliers all over town. Then this fancy out-of-town zoophile crashes it.

BB: Sarge never struck me as the high five type. But he and Beetle must be pretty excited about their anniversary, so…

A3G: Ding ding ding! We have a winner! We have a winner!

9CL: So it’s a tour group led by Phineas Fogg peepng on them? People, it’s not that interesting. Just a couple of band geeks making out.

Archie: Somehow I don’t think it’s just Veronica’s face that Archie is thinking about. Something got lost on the way to the funny pages.

JP: If Dixie Julep turns out to have Special Forces training I’ll be one happy camper. She knows twenty ways to kill a man in hand-to-hand combat, while pole-dancing!

6C: You know it’s the wrong place to order a vegan meal when the decorative mural is painted in blood.

S4th: Ah, so the work spouse aims to stiffen Ted’s spine, amongst other things. Love the Squeaky Fromme reference.

Shoe: Hey, Doc Hopper, they’re using your idea.

Marvin: “Hey, you know who you remind me of? Kim Rosenthal back in the seventies Doone–”
“My lawyers have advised me not to talk about that, Grandpa.”

Popeye: Clearly, he needs to get an updated Field Guide to the Behavior of Moon Beasks.

OBH: The Good Book wasn’t talking about math, there. As to what it does mean, no. Let’s nip the idea of Joe starting a family in the bud.

Baldo: I found this to be pretty funny. It’s Tia Carmen’s sensible shoes sticking straight up that really made it for me.

PBS: Oof! Right in the invisi-balls!

C-Shaft: Fast Ed is done delegating. Once again, he takes over the horrible puns himself.

FC: “Billy, who strangled Jeffy with Daddy’s office tie?”
“Not Me!”
Red Greenback
November 13th, 2008 at 11:26 am [Reply]

And in other news, Batman sues Batman!
Red Greenback
November 13th, 2008 at 11:48 am [Reply]

And in other news, cont.: If that Batman thing doesn’t pan out, matbe Mayor Kalkan can go after these folks
IronMouse
November 13th, 2008 at 11:48 am [Reply]

We can only hope Grandma “hotting up” Dolly’s cream of hemlock
aloria
November 13th, 2008 at 11:48 am [Reply]

Oops, yeah, I meant Rex Morgan, not Judge Parker. Square jawed beefcake is all alike to me.
CanuckDownSouth
November 13th, 2008 at 12:04 pm [Reply]

Mark Trail: Give me back that pet and I will let you go in peace! I only enforce animal cruelty laws on cute and/or domesticated critters.

MW Indeed, why wait for the holidays? By the time we see the strips where you find the scarf, wrap it, find your daughter at the competition, and give it to her, we’ll be well past New Year’s.

But if you wait for December to get started, we just might end up seeing the gift-giving in her Easter basket.

(obligatory FOOBfic plug)
Little A the Bronx Cynic
November 13th, 2008 at 12:06 pm [Reply]

Curtis: all right, I am going to brag in advance and if I am wrong, skulk off into the wilderness, but I did predict last week that Curtis’ little bastard brother intercepted his party invitation so he never got it…. or maybe his mother forgot to give it to him… we shall know tomorrow. Or is everybody playing a joke on him? Maybe there never was a party. Or maybe Gunk’s pet lizard ate it.

Archie: Calculus? In Riverdale High School? Forget it. These idiots never study anything except dating and eating. And shopping.

Apropos of this, back in the ancient days, when I went to high school, calculus was not in the regular curriculum, it was an elective course for ambitious geniuses, and this was in The Bronx High School of Science! So don’t tell me that Archie and Betty and the other dopes take this course! Maybe the genius Deedle Doodle or whatever his name is, takes it. What is his name? Durbin? Dimwin? Does anybody remember way back when he used to be dressed in sissy clothes, including a real silk bow tie? What is his name, anyway? I can’t remember and I am too lazy to look it up. Pinwheel? Something like that.

I also remember when Archie drove a red jalopy, vintage ca. 1929. Yes, I go way back.

MT: Forgive my vernacular, but Mark Trail may be the biggest fucking idiot in the comics today, dumber that Francis Hobbs, if that is possible. Dumber than Cathy’s husband Irving, whose last name I don’t know.
AhClem
November 13th, 2008 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

#174 Calvin’s Cardboard box -

“…that still doesn’t explain why they haven’t moved in three days.”

Easy to explain. In the heat of passion, the tube of KY Jelly and the tube of superglue are difficult to tell apart.

Why the superglue is on the nightstand is a question best left unanswered.
Batman Beatles
November 13th, 2008 at 12:23 pm [Reply]

MW: Going by the last plot, this how i predict things will go:

Week 1: Frank will talk about giving Lynn the scarf.

week 2: Mary will talk about Frank talking about giving Lynn the scarf.

Week 3 : Frank will go back to the house and talk about giving the scarf to Lynn.

Week 4: Frank will unlock the door, while talking about giving the scarf to Lynn.

Week 5: Mary will talk to herself about Frank giving the scarf to Lynn.

Week 6: Frank will look for the scarf and talk about giving it to Lynn.

And on and on until he actually givies it to Lynn.
Calico
November 13th, 2008 at 12:29 pm [Reply]

#164 – How about “Silly Rabbit, sticks are for hicks.”
gnome de blog
November 13th, 2008 at 12:30 pm [Reply]

Widdle Sawah’s real father is either Oddjob or the dwarf on Fantasy Island.
gh
November 13th, 2008 at 12:39 pm [Reply]

Pluggers —

Another caption just begging for an Uncle Lumpy re-write into English. And do Pluggers actually “hasten” anywhere? Other than “hasten their own demise through lack of exercise and over-consumption of trans-fat laden foods?” I thought Pluggers were more akin to “moseying down to the pawn shop” or “lollygagging in front of the open refrigerator door.” Isn’t that the Plugger way?
Bootsy
November 13th, 2008 at 12:39 pm [Reply]

Gnome de blog, you called it on widdle Sarah. What is with the freakish kids in the serial strips? Don’t even get me started on the Sneaky-ownin’ kid with the blonde flip ‘do in Mark Trail. Her forehead is so big you could show movies on it.

I really do dislike widdle Sarah, but it just be because I dislike most kids, if I don’t know them. And if I do know them, I likely will still dislike them. I blame the parents (mine, I mean).
Bootsy
November 13th, 2008 at 12:41 pm [Reply]

me @ # 189, It might just be. Preview is our friend.
One-eyed Wolfdog
November 13th, 2008 at 12:47 pm [Reply]

#172 – Bootsy – “sharp ears, cheek tufts…”

Heh. That little offhand comment is going to be what people remember about me for a long time to come, isn’t it? *grin*
commodorejohn
November 13th, 2008 at 12:49 pm [Reply]

9CL – Brussels must be a pretty damn boring place.

A3G – I dunno, Tommie, maybe it was your horrible, horrible camel-hair jacket. When you’re dressed like the food in Mary Worth, even a smoking-hot sex machine like Gary might be put off.

Baldo – That’s right, teenage boys are the only people who sweat. Is it just me, or does there seem to be some basic lack of knowledge about human anatomy here?

Crankshaft – Okay, what?

Curtis – Since when are people obligated to invite you, Curtis? Asshole.

DT – I defy you to explain panel two to me without using the terms “Escher,” “Gil Thorp,” or “non-Euclidean” (H.P. Lovecraft sense.)

FC – Tie it, Bil. Tie it tight. You know you want to.

FW – Yes, his “tray table and seat back” are “in the full upright position” and “ready for take-off.” The trademark Winkersmirk just makes this so much dirtier…

Garfield – “Barn dance?” Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

GA – Wow, it’ll be just like Funky Winkerbean, only even stupider!

JP – So…what, Sam wants to know if Dixie is ex-military? Am I understanding this correctly?

Love Is… – turning your bare asses to the audience.

Luann – Wait, at what point did Luann start making money off the sale of benefit calendars from an organization she’s not a part of? If she’s just somehow magically able to convince people for paying her to be related to members of their business, she should be sensing a career.

MT – Man, the punching hasn’t even begun yet, and we’ve already reached awesomeness, with the GIANT BOLD LETTERING ON A SENTENCE THAT COULD NOT PLAUSIBLY BE SHOUTED IN RIGHTEOUS FURY.

MW – So I guess the moral here is that it’s okay to be a demanding prick to your kids as long as you buy them stuff. That Mary, she’s truly the wisest of the wise.

NS – Fear, misery, and poverty. Embrace them.

Phantom – “NEXT: SOUP FOR CHATU!”

Pibgorn – Roger breaks character and bursts into Brooke’s studio to beat him savagely until he agrees to bring the storyline to a conclusion.

Popeye – Okay, Popeye, you have well and truly established the Magical Wonder Friend nature of this stupid H.R. Pufnstuf reject. Now get on with the damn plot already.

RMMD – Sarah is awesome. “Yes, Mom, she gave us the boat. Weren’t you listening?”

SF – Just mentioning Squeaky Fromme gets you major, major Win Points in my book. Bravo, Ces!

Edison Lee – blows the lid off the gigantic “make food using *gasp* *shock* *faint* chemicals” conspiracy. Next he’ll talk about the elephant in the room: believe it or not, matter is made up of atoms.
Calico
November 13th, 2008 at 12:50 pm [Reply]

#183 – Dilton Doily.
I think Moose, in a kind of pseudo-homoerotic way, used to defend his little friend from bullying by reciprocal beatdowns, which was kind of sweet. : P
Funny, now I can’t remember Moose’s last name.
BuckysWife
November 13th, 2008 at 12:52 pm [Reply]

A request for some help: I’m looking for a Family Circus comic with Billy wandering around the neighborhood–you know, the dotted-line thing. (Not that I’m a big fan–I’m a college composition instructor, and I want to illustrate the difference between paragraph coherence and cohesion visually.)

I’ve done some searching online with no success. Any quick links?
Thanks!
GROAN..
November 13th, 2008 at 12:56 pm [Reply]

FC: This is actually a sophisticated and heavily sardonic representation of the current petropolitical situation… it’s up to the savvy reader to grasp who or what “Dolly”, “Grandma”, and “hotting up” actually refer to… never mind the semiotic brilliance of the three crackers, three “shine-bands” on the “soup”, and three tendrils of “steam”… I’ve come to a whole new understanding of FC now.
The Keanes make Nast look like a rank amateur!

3G: I have remained silent for years, but I can contain myself no longer… the mind-sapping horror of flesh-colored corneas, lips and teeth (TEETH, fer cryin’ out loud) MUST STOP!

That will be all. Carry on.
AmazingThor
November 13th, 2008 at 12:57 pm [Reply]

9CL: Ok, so they all had cameras and binoculars because they were waiting for the balloon. Or else someone jumped in their hot air balloon to get a closer look at two American geeks making out.

Arch: I call BS. There’s no way in hell that Archie and Jughead are smart enough to be taking Calculus. In fact, no one in the Archieverse is even smart enough to even teach Calculus.

DT: Traze-R’s a puss!

FC: Jeffy is about to be strangled by his father. Never give your family that opening, Jeffy.

Garfield: Ok, the barnyard innuendos are getting old. Move on!

GT: With his two star receiver’s out, Coach Thorp turns to the one man he can trust…Commander William Riker!

H&J: The thing I love about old photos is how the bring back memories…non specific memories like that time we stood in front of that store doing those things in that town.

JP: Has our military been recruiting and training strippers? A few good men indeed…

Marvin: Is this some kind of commentary on how much smarter Asians are?

MW: Boo! Instead of the promised smack down we instead are treated to the softer side of Frank. He apparently doesn’t realize that with out Crazy-Quotin’-Margo(TM) hands, no one knows if you are using quotation marks. And apparently his word balloon thought we might not know what a scarf looked like so it helpfully added it’s own thought balloon as a visual aid.

PBS: Kapish? What kind of kick makes that sound?

RMMD: Has Sarah always had Down Syndrome?

Zits: I called it! I knew she was stopping the van with her feet, ala Fred Flintstone!
queek
November 13th, 2008 at 1:01 pm [Reply]

Today’s Freep ran A&J twice, once in the spot usually taken by Judge Parker. Good thing the Chron was available to cover the fast-moving plot twists. Perhaps Dixie’s birth-name was Annatop?

Hateeachothers made me laugh today. I’ll be on the lookout for flying pigs and Horsemen.
AmazingThor
November 13th, 2008 at 1:02 pm [Reply]

Here’s a nice review of the Billy Zane Phantom movie from the AVClub: Phantom
PeteMoss
November 13th, 2008 at 1:02 pm [Reply]

commodorejohn @ 192

re Baldo – Sure we all perspire, however, the adolescent males tend to be particularly fragrant with their burgeoning hormones and all. Don’t believe me? Pick up your comics page and press any edition of Zits or our friend Baldo’s strip or (God help you) Luann featuring Gunther. There’s nothing quite like the nostril sting that is a whiff of Gunther.
PeteMoss
November 13th, 2008 at 1:14 pm [Reply]

OKAY, MR. FRUHLINGER, OR WHATEVER YOUR NAME IS, YOUR FUN IS OVER!*

*In reality, your fun has only just begun, courtesy of Mark Trail.
Uncle Lumpy
November 13th, 2008 at 1:15 pm [Reply]

#192 cj –

Sam wants to know if Dixie is ex-military?

Probably just Wilson cueing Barreto for a week of Dixie stretching out in her skimpy camo-tard.

Thank you, Mr. Wilson!
commodorejohn
November 13th, 2008 at 1:19 pm [Reply]

#199 PeteMoss – Huh, I always figured that was just Gunther’s inherent creepiness registering in my brain.

#201 Uncle Lumpy – Yow. Whether that happens or not, that’s an image that will be sticking with me for a while.
PeteMoss
November 13th, 2008 at 1:20 pm [Reply]

Crunkshift -
Why should I fear the Roo?
AmazingThor
November 13th, 2008 at 1:23 pm [Reply]

@ 194 BuckysWife
Does this help?
Skullturf Q. Beavispants
November 13th, 2008 at 1:27 pm [Reply]

193 Calico — Moose’s last name is Mason.

Midge’s last name is Klump.

Jughead’s full name is Forsythe P. Jones. Archie Andrews, Veronica Lodge (whose dad is Hiram), and Betty Cooper.

I don’t remember Big Ethel’s last name.
Sequitur
November 13th, 2008 at 1:29 pm [Reply]

194 BuckysWife:
Try this with Billy:
http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20050529&name=Family_Circus
Or this with a cat:
http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20070527&name=Family_Circus
Spunde
November 13th, 2008 at 1:31 pm [Reply]

“Lynn, dear, I know I’ve been hard on you lately. But I want you to know how proud I am of you. Here’s a small gift.”

“Oh, Father! A designer scarf! How lovely!”

“It’s also your Christmas present, so try not to RUIN it before the holidays.”
PeteMoss
November 13th, 2008 at 1:33 pm [Reply]

Uncle Lumpy @ 201

Whenever he left the barracks, the rest of the grunts used to call Gomer a camo-tard.

Regarding Dixie, maybe she was a special ops sniper stationed in Afghanistan. She knows her way around a rifle and a pole, buddy.
Baruch Grazer
November 13th, 2008 at 1:39 pm [Reply]

Can we make this site the “Family Circus Curmudgeon”? So I can explosively wet my pants every day? Thank you for considering my request. Until then I’ll keep checking in also on that cool Nietzche site.
Bootsy
November 13th, 2008 at 1:43 pm [Reply]

# 191 Wolfdog, that, and for bringing the funny.

(And “cheek tufts” still makes me giggle)
Uncle Lumpy
November 13th, 2008 at 1:52 pm [Reply]

#203 PeteMoss –

Why should I fear the Roo?

The Roo is the mascot of the University of Akron. This is one of Tom Batiuk’s increasingly desperate plugs to drum up interest in eastern Ohio: the University of Akron Zips (I kid you not) play their final game in the Rubber Bowl (I kid you not) tonight. Hey, the MAC-East lead hangs in the balance!

Meet you at Luigi’s after the game!
boojum
November 13th, 2008 at 1:54 pm [Reply]

That’s Lieutenant-Colonel Dixie Julep to you, soldier!

I’m saluting already, and at full attention. If you know what I… and, hell, I guess you do.
Artist formerly known as Ben
November 13th, 2008 at 1:56 pm [Reply]

#205 SQB,
According to Wacky Pedia, Big Ethel’s surname is Muggs, but she was originally written as Ethel Dinklehof. I guess as long as it sounds kinda goofy…
Uncle Lumpy
November 13th, 2008 at 1:57 pm [Reply]

Mmm. . . Lieutenant-Colonel, that was some extraordinary rendition!
commodorejohn
November 13th, 2008 at 1:57 pm [Reply]

#211 Uncle Lumpy – I always knew Batiuk was an attention whore, but I had no idea he was that desparate for a fix.
Red Greenback
November 13th, 2008 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

She was known as “Delta Force” and is a master of the marital arts.
trey le parc
November 13th, 2008 at 2:03 pm [Reply]

FC: When old man Bil could no longer grasp his pencil in his impossibly gnarled, arthritic claw, he summoned his melon-headed son to his lair.

“Jeffy,” he hissed. “Your time has come. I pass you the Pencil of the Damned. I retire now, to rest, but will continue to bedevil you with trite and recycled ideas. Go now.”
“Shit,” sighed Jeffy. “Now I’ll NEVER get laid.”
Zach
November 13th, 2008 at 2:05 pm [Reply]

GT-Okay, so I already figured out that this strip was supposed to be some kind of Star Trek mirror universe when evil Spock showed up hosting a radio show under the pseudonym “Marty Moon,” but now, with Riker’s appearance, they’re mixing original and Next Generation characters together? Now I’m totally confused. Which, apparently, is the natural reaction to reading Gil Thorp.

FW: They all think Tony’s disappearance is an overreaction, but I think he knew that this was the first grave portent of Funknarök, as everyone dies in a blizzard.
Li’l Bunnë FooFoo
November 13th, 2008 at 2:05 pm [Reply]

S4th: My new favorite way to describe someone is “a cross between Carrie Bradshaw and Squeaky Fromme”.

Incidentally, some insight into my brain: it took me a minute to remember who Carrie Bradshaw is, but I tend to assume everybody knows about Squeaky Fromme.

My thought on the punch line was the “Have you met Sally?” would be more obvious, but also cliche. So kudos to Ces for not being purple. (Can’t speak to whether he obsequious or clairvoyant.)
Comcis Fan
November 13th, 2008 at 2:08 pm [Reply]

Re #135, I think I was also thinking, “Oh, Aria, Aria Aria …” when I saw this.

That nerdy, single, troublemaker!

And Ted, “Sally will hide?” You tell this to your work wife? Oh Ted, Ted, Ted …
Stripes55
November 13th, 2008 at 2:12 pm [Reply]

135 – Uh, Kem, is that your commentary, or Aria and Ted’s upcoming dialogue (and if the latter…does the inflection on the last “Ted” mean what I think it does)?

And you’re right, this can’t end well…Someone’s definitely getting chained to a log when this is all said and done….
Comcis Fan
November 13th, 2008 at 2:13 pm [Reply]

Does Ted’s Carrie Bradshaw comment indicate that he finds his sister-in-law somewhat attractive?
The Squeaky Fromme comment indicates that he realizes he has found a kindred nerd spirit in Aria. More than a few of us may remember who Squeaky Fromme is. I dare say not many use the name in casual conversation, even when bitching. Also, I think it’s a bit harsh on the sister-in-law. She’s more like a one-woman female “Animal House.”
Sequitur
November 13th, 2008 at 2:23 pm [Reply]

Hey! The Old Farmer’s Almanac tells us tonight is the Full Beaver Moon!

http://www.almanac.com/astronomy/moon/names/index.php

Why hasn’t Mark Trail informed us of this? Although I’m not sure I want to know what’s suppose to happen on Full Beaver Moon.
blackgoat
November 13th, 2008 at 2:27 pm [Reply]

MT: Tell me about the raccoon contest, Rabbit .
Comcis Fan
November 13th, 2008 at 2:28 pm [Reply]

Rex Morgan M.D.: Am I the only one who thinks Sarah may really be the daughter of John Redcorn of “King of the Hill?”

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Redcorn
Jeanne
November 13th, 2008 at 2:30 pm [Reply]

#185 Batman Beatles-You forgot the last step
#7. Lynn hangs herself with the lovely scarf.
At least SHE escapes from Meddlin’ Mary
bats :[
November 13th, 2008 at 2:31 pm [Reply]

189. Bootsy: yeah, the serial artists in JP and RM should just stick to drawing what they know best, sexy dames and ripped (if goofball) guys.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/3027239025/sizes/o/
Calico
November 13th, 2008 at 2:36 pm [Reply]

#195 – Holy Raccoon chained to a log, the Keanes are Freemasons! Who woulda thunk it?
Calico
November 13th, 2008 at 2:40 pm [Reply]

#204 – Not only does the kid have OCD, he’s helplessly chewed all the walls of the house down.
kalki
November 13th, 2008 at 3:19 pm [Reply]

9CL: Other people were right, this is turning into a free sex show. I wonder about the balloon. I am guessing that Phileas Fogg and Passepartout are going to approach Edda and Amos to see if they can join in.

Archie: Nor do they sport wood either. Now stand up and show everybody in the class the tent pole.

DTM: Too many “turtle coming out of the shell” homo-erotic comments to be made here…

FW: Nothing beats two horny old men leering at a waitress’s ass while she bends over in front of a window.

GA: Great…now I have a mental image of Slim trying to sell himself on street corners.

Luann: Luann has now become her brother before he was a firefighter. Get a life, you lazy bi…
gnome de blog
November 13th, 2008 at 3:29 pm [Reply]

The balloon and the voyeurs are a send-up of all of us who have snarked and gnashed and moaned about Amos and Edda’s love life, or lack thereof. Gotta hand it to McEldowney on this one. Nice job, Brooke.
UncleJeff
November 13th, 2008 at 3:31 pm [Reply]

#211 Uncle Lumpy: thanks for the link to Zips football.
I see they’re moving from the stadium with one of the best names in sports (Rubber Bowl) to a new facility with the worst name I’ve heard of (InfoCision Stadium????????)
Lettuce
November 13th, 2008 at 3:34 pm [Reply]

TRAZE-R IS BLINDED! TRAZE-R IS DOWN! Tracy could help, by, I don’t know, popping the tires of Bad Robot.

And TRAZE-R is kind of cute shielding his eyes like a scared pre-schooler during the crocodile scenes in “Peter Pan.” Makes the “Kalunk” punch that much more tragic.
Aging Hipster
November 13th, 2008 at 3:39 pm [Reply]

Funny you should mention the Masons. I was going to accuse the denizens of Riverdale of the very same thing. Hiram Lodge indeed!
Calvin's Cardboard Box
November 13th, 2008 at 3:42 pm [Reply]

#231 – OK, that would all be well and good if these were real people and he were sending up their lack of privacy. But Amos and Edda are fictional characters who exist for our amusement. Their “love life” is only a figment of the imagination, created solely for the purpose of giving the readers something to snark and gnash and moan about.

So, who is he sending up? The readers who invade their privacy by reading the strip? Does he really just create these characters as a form of individual wish-fulfillment, and resent that people actually read about them?
Poteet
November 13th, 2008 at 3:44 pm [Reply]

MW — Another alternative would be for Frank to learn, memorize and repeat a six-word sentence — “Lynn, I’m very proud of you.” They’re short words that are part of the English language, so I think it might be possible for Frank to utter them if he tries really hard.
Amateur
November 13th, 2008 at 3:47 pm [Reply]

MW: Nothing says, “Gee, honey, I’m sorry I broke your spirit and humiliated you in front of the world!” like giving your kid her Christmas scarf a little early. Is Mary always this brilliant? Because if she is, I can’t bear to think of what I’ve been missing all these years.
PeteMoss
November 13th, 2008 at 3:52 pm [Reply]

Li’l Bunnë FooFoo @ #219

hahaha! “Be obsequious, purple & clairvoyant!” Yes, I recall that fine piece of advice. Touché for that bit of history, my dear.
PeteMoss
November 13th, 2008 at 4:06 pm [Reply]

UL @ #211

Does that mean the name “Rubber Bowl” will soon be available? Cool. I be there already is a football stadium called the Rubber-Maid Bowl, but I refuse to research it.

I’m starting to have an irrational fear the Roo. I’m no where near the Mid-American Conference-East, but still…It’s out there.
Deena in OR
November 13th, 2008 at 4:08 pm [Reply]

Gerry-

See my response to your post over at the end of the thread of doom. That was a typo for the ages :)
PeteMoss
November 13th, 2008 at 4:09 pm [Reply]

me @ 239 failing to preview -

Does that mean the name “Rubber Bowl” will soon be available? Cool. I bet there already is a football stadium called the Rubber-Maid Bowl, but I refuse to research it.

I’m starting to have an irrational fear of the Roo. I’m no where near the Mid-American Conference-East, but still…It’s out there.
bats :[
November 13th, 2008 at 4:13 pm [Reply]

235. CCB: I’m not reading any subtext into this, whether Brooke is twitting his voyeuristic readers or not. I only know when we spent a few days in a high-rise hotel in Vancouver B.C., it was amazing what you could see going on in other high-rises (yes, we had field glasses with us, but only because we’d driven up from Tucson, and you never know what interesting birds/mountains/critters you might see along the road).
I later mentioned this to a guy who lives outside of Vancouver, and he commented that everyone living in high-rises there has a set of binoculars by the window, and that “looking” at the view usually entails checking out what might be going on in other windows. I guess with those long, long winters, it’s just another pastime, and cheaper than cable porn.
bats :[
November 13th, 2008 at 4:16 pm [Reply]

236. Poteet: Frank could learn those six little words, repeat them by rote, and not even mean them. That should sit well with him and placate Lynn (and Mary).
Dingo
November 13th, 2008 at 4:33 pm [Reply]

In Lake Tranquil, the walking paths in the park are all one-way. Sort of like Mary Worth’s platitudes.

My thinking is that either Frank will be choked to death by Lynn with the “designer scarf” or Lynn will become paralyzed in a tragic auto-asphyxiation mishap with said scarf. Either way, that scarf is up to no good.
Perky Bird
November 13th, 2008 at 4:34 pm [Reply]

# 223 Sequitur—

“Full Beaver Moon” sounds unspeakably dirty…or is it just me?
gh
November 13th, 2008 at 4:42 pm [Reply]

#236 Poteet –

I actually said that to my daughter last week. She looked up at me with the most amazing expression and said, “Who the fuck is Lynn?”
Sequitur
November 13th, 2008 at 4:43 pm [Reply]

245 Perky Bird:
It’s not just you.
I’m waiting for a Mark Trail adventure while during “Full Beaver Moon” beavers are chained to logs… wait, a beaver would just gnaw through the log.
Okay. I’m waiting for a 9CL where during “Full Beaver Moon”…
gkl
November 13th, 2008 at 5:00 pm [Reply]

FC: I recently read The Mother Tongue: English and How it Got that Way. Bill Bryson can make grammar jokes funny. Bil Keane… not so much.
KT
November 13th, 2008 at 5:05 pm [Reply]

I had to do a double-take at today’s Gil Thorp. What with all the odd names in it (Deonte, Jamarr Gaddis), itt lookd liyk Gill Thorrpe’s diyalogg wuz mispeld!
Amateur
November 13th, 2008 at 5:09 pm [Reply]

#183 — Gunk’s pet lizard ate what, the invitation or the party? The way Gunk works, I wouldn’t be surprised at either.
UncleJeff
November 13th, 2008 at 5:31 pm [Reply]

242 bats:) – They have a hotel in Toronto’s big domed stadium — Rogers Centre, I believe — that had windows overlooking the playing field and baseball fans used to get “a show” from some of the people staying in the hotel.
Which reminds me of a famous old broadcaster named Halsey Hall who was commenting on a public display of affection in the stands and said: “They seem to have a system. He kisses her on the strikes and she kisses him on the balls.”
Angry Kem
November 13th, 2008 at 5:38 pm [Reply]

#221 Stripes55: That was my commentary, but now you have made me think unclean thoughts, damn you. Daaaaaaaammmmmmmn yoooooooouuuuuu…

#242 bats: Actually, the winters in Vancouver last for about two weeks in mid-January, as do the summers in late July. The falls and springs, on the other hand, go on forever.

The horrifically cannibalistic Shoe gets its first medievalisation today.

9CL: Well, isn’t that just Whimsical with a capital Whimsy.

Dear Elly:

PUT ON A DAMN COAT.

Love, Kem.
gnome de blog
November 13th, 2008 at 5:43 pm [Reply]

Is it time for a YOUR FUN IS OVER, MR. RABBIT t-shirt?
Batman Beatles
November 13th, 2008 at 5:55 pm [Reply]

#226 Jeanne – Or Lynn might use it to strangle her dad.
bats :[
November 13th, 2008 at 6:27 pm [Reply]

252. Angry Kem, re Vancouver seasons: um, if you say so. We live much further south, and even being there in mid-June (late spring), realizing at 8:30 PM that I could probably take off my sunglasses (not that it was really that much of a twilight), and that the sun started making noise about 4:30 AM, was pretty dang weird… I’m not used to that much of any season!
Calico
November 13th, 2008 at 6:28 pm [Reply]

#213 – I think the name Ethel Muggs is correct.

Also, #205, I think Reggie’s full name is Reginald Mantle. Thank you for the Moose last-name info.

Gotta study my old Archie comix tonight! Yay!
Poteet
November 13th, 2008 at 7:03 pm [Reply]

# 243 bats — Sounds like a plan! Someone should pull him aside and say “look, Frank, it’s either that or get meddled for another two months. Have mercy on all those readers and DO IT!”

# 246 gh — BWAHAHA!
Donkey Hotey
November 13th, 2008 at 7:14 pm [Reply]

Curtis: One large helping of crow, coming up!

H&J: These guys have been married for HOW long and he’s just now remembering that?

MT: “The name’s not Rabbit, stranger…it’s Hare. ‘Facial’ Hare.” . . . POW!!!!

R&R: Can dogs belch? I don’t think dogs can belch. I realize a farting contest wouldn’t make it past the editors, but that doesn’t mean you can just change it to belching.

SForth: “Oh, did I not mention I’m emasculated?”

Shoe: There’s no joke. Why is there no joke? MacNelly always had a joke.

6C: YES!!!

SS: I’m a teacher, and I’m actually e-mailing this one to my colleagues.
Li’l Bunnë FooFoo
November 13th, 2008 at 11:48 pm [Reply]

PeteMoss@238 FTW! Thank you for getting my reference.
BuckysWife
November 14th, 2008 at 3:02 pm [Reply]

Thank you for the Family Circus links with Billy and the famed dotted line! You guys are great–and my students will be confirmed in their sense that my brain doesn’t work quite like other people’s…. (This isn’t the first weird writing analogy I’ve given them; I have a whole riff on how research is like my dog’s sniffing and peeing patterns.)

Thanks!
Braniff
November 14th, 2008 at 5:54 pm [Reply]

252–The ones for Marmaduke and The Family Circus were great too!!!!
Tred
November 14th, 2008 at 6:13 pm [Reply]

It’s not soup Dolly, it’s crude oil.
Braniff
November 15th, 2008 at 9:23 am [Reply]

262–”Black gold. Texas tea”

“The first thing you know, old Grandma’s a millionaire;
The kin folk said, Granma move away from there.
California is the place where you ought to be,
So she loaded up the kids in her mighty SUV”

Went to Beverly–
Hills, that is, movie stars and other wackos!

(With apologies to the writers of the Beverly Hillbillies theme)

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