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Do birds capable of flying over water even need boats?

Dennis the Menace and Heathcliff, 6/10/13

Since my main beef with Dennis the Menace is that he long ago ceased to be menacing, I feel obliged to acknowledge the flashes of menace we do see. Just trying to return some ice cream that you’ve already gotten your gross spit all over is less “menacing” than “kind of a dick move,” but I choose to believe that Dennis took the ice cream cone from this guy, gave it several long, languorous licks over a period about 45 seconds, all while maintaining unbroken eye contact, then thrust it back at him, saying “I don’t like this, give me money back.”

Heathcliff, meanwhile, is generally well known for a just-don’t-give-a-shit attitude of the sort that Dennis aspires to. However, here we see that he’s willing to kiss a little ass if that’s what it takes to get what he wants, which frankly saddens me.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 6/10/13

This strip has spent decades making jokes at the expense of rural Americans, but today’s strip, which implies that country folk are interbreeding with evolutionary throwbacks and other nonhuman hominids, goes too far.

Shoe, 6/10/13

This scene of newspapermen (or newspaperman-birds, I guess) blaming each other for the decline of their industry by spinning a nautical metaphor further and further out of usefulness is, I’m pretty sure, a fairly spot-on depiction of the modern media landscape.

Apartment 3-G, 6/10/13

“You’re kidding, right?! I’m not going to let you wear a white dress in front of a photographers. Lu Ann, you spill things a lot.

309 responses to “Do birds capable of flying over water even need boats?”

  1. Powers
    June 10th, 2013 at 7:27 am [Reply]

    Judge Parker: Maybe this is just as well… I’m not sure I’d trust a cruise line that uses a cardboard-and-tent-pole check-in desk with hand-written signs.

  2. Herr Komerad Kommissar Denny
    June 10th, 2013 at 7:27 am [Reply]

    A3G: WHAT is going on with Lu Ann’s hair in panel 2? It looks like her wig is wearing a wig.

    HiLo: Aw, man, some poor sap’s gonna be really disappointed when his Untitled (Black on Grey) comes up missing a piece.

    MW: “…OR YOUR DAUGHTER MAY SUFFER AS A RESULT!” said the smiling, silver-haired monster. Helpless, Eleanor buried her face in her hands and sobbed. People told Eleanor stories about the fabled “Gangster of Love” when said she told them she was moving to Charterstone, but she’d dismissed them as urban legends. And too late to do any good, she knew the truth.

  3. Ratiocinator
    June 10th, 2013 at 7:30 am [Reply]

    9CL: I think that this may just be the first time that Fleurrie has reacted to anything like a real person would.

    ASM: If this were the ’90s, I could make an “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!” joke without it being horribly dated. But it isn’t, and I can’t, and it would be, so I won’t.

    FW: For the love of Jebus, everybody stop saying “reality tv show”! The “tv” part. Is. REDUNDANT!!!! Fuck!

    JP: “Listen you bitch, you are going to take us to Acapulco or so help me I am going to take my index finger and use it to push your laptop closed!”

    RMMD: “You will help me publish it! You have no choice! Kneel before Sarah!”

  4. KreatureFeatures
    June 10th, 2013 at 7:37 am [Reply]

    FW–
    Summer: “Statement of ignorance! Unlikely random inquisition?”
    Les: “Lengthy explanation! Unnecessary character background description, and grindingly detailed plot exposition. Depressing assessment.”
    Summer: “Ironic rejoinder. Witty aside!”

  5. Old Folkie
    June 10th, 2013 at 7:38 am [Reply]

    RMMD: Sarah has replaced Caulfield as the jerkiest comix kid.

    JP: Randy and his fiance are a perfect team. He rants while she points her finger.

    A3G: The rift in the space-time continuum continues as the Guv and Lu Ann are transported outside in the middle of their conversation.

  6. KreatureFeatures
    June 10th, 2013 at 7:39 am [Reply]

    Pluggers: I call BS on the Kroger Post-It note. Pluggers don’t eat greens.

  7. Liam
    June 10th, 2013 at 7:39 am [Reply]

    A3G-Just wrap her up in a million one dollar bills.

    JP-American college kids have taken over Acapulco.

    Love Is-Where’s the old lady who meddled?

    MT-”And you can stay behind, Rusty, and help Doc with these two otters.”

    MW-”Or your daughter may suffer as a result.” Is that a threat Mary? Are planning on hurting Beth if Elinor doesn’t change her ways.

    Pluggers-Then he should have Post-it that says buy more Post-its.

    Slylock Fox-No because her name is not Count Weirdly, Slick Smitty, or Shady Shrew.

  8. Chyron HR
    June 10th, 2013 at 7:41 am [Reply]

    Peter: I want you to look like a million bucks!
    Lu Ann: …Green?

  9. pugfuggly
    June 10th, 2013 at 7:42 am [Reply]

    BG&SS “Hey fellers, it’s just me. Bigfoot’s down by the river catching us some lunch…”

    Shoe Meanwhile, Joey the albatross hides out in the break room. Martime metaphors always make him a little uncomfortable.

    A3G “A nice white dress? Have you never been to a governor’s ball before? Listen, I’ve got a great selection of crotchless lycra catsuits with matching ball gags down in my dungeon, why don’t we pick out something in there. You’re a size 8, right?”

  10. Ranger
    June 10th, 2013 at 7:43 am [Reply]

    Sally Forth: I see the Apt. 3G colorist is moonlighting with Nona today.

  11. thehollis
    June 10th, 2013 at 7:45 am [Reply]

    Apt 3-G: You’re kidding, right?! A dress? I mean, you are a man, right?

  12. sporknpork
    June 10th, 2013 at 7:45 am [Reply]

    The character designs in Apartment 3-G deviate faster than a third-grader’s game of Telephone played in a broken time machine.

  13. Mibbitmaker
    June 10th, 2013 at 7:47 am [Reply]

    A3G: “Honestly, Peter, that’s so petty and sn– Omigod, I’m dating Margo, aren’t I?!!”

    DtM: Girl: “Mmmmmm, Dennis flavor!”

    (BG&)SS: The revelation about Bigfoot was, to say the least, really disappointing.

    Heathcliff: They’d be sorry once Heathcliff rampages through the area laying waste to everything with a band of sword-weilding marauders on horseback!

  14. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    June 10th, 2013 at 7:49 am [Reply]

    GF: I’ve seen worse Shakespeare cribs.

    PBS: case in point. . .

    SBp: but this one is free range!

    Zits: even when the joke is lame, the art can still bring it home. Not a lot of strips these days can do that. Too trapped in the format.

    JUMBLE: “Graph Jams” doesn’t fit, but could be used for a preserves shop.

    MG&G: *nice Staffie, good dog.*

    Mutts: “bug” was unnecessary.

    Pluggers: real Pluggers use the back of flyers and other scratch paper to take notes.

    Ghost-who-flashbacks. I really should save this one for future GIMPing of Mr. Falk.

  15. Pozzo
    June 10th, 2013 at 7:49 am [Reply]

    To give her her due, Lu Ann must be taking this “looking like a million bucks” think seriously. She managed to take about thirty years off between panels one and two.

  16. Amos Snarkadder
    June 10th, 2013 at 7:50 am [Reply]

    A3G Hmm. Nice white dress. A couple of years old. Hmm. Oh, it’s the wedding dress Paulinski picked out for LuAnn! Yeah, that will be really appropriate!

  17. Drewbear
    June 10th, 2013 at 7:50 am [Reply]

    A3G Why do I get the feeling that the “nice white dress” is actually her wedding gown from her marriage mumblemumble years ago? Because I actually would pay good money to see her show up to the Ball decked out in full wedding regalia, including a 20-foot-long train and carrying a bouquet bigger than her head.

    Heathcliff Notice the little twirl the ice-cream-truck guy gave that fudgcicle. I think this is less a knighting and more some sort of bizarre induction ritual into the International Fraternal Order of Faceless Monstrosities.

  18. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    June 10th, 2013 at 7:50 am [Reply]

    Love Is. . . hadaka, done boring.

  19. Marc
    June 10th, 2013 at 7:51 am [Reply]

    9CL – First time she’s shown any semblance of a brain in this whole arc. Running away from the guy who is proposing after one shitty date, while wearing a speedo and kneeling face deep in 45 degree water= Always a good idea.

    A3G- On the other end of the spectrum, LuAnn seems to think that the fake governor is proposing, and she has zero issue with that. However he certainly seems to.

    Funky- Your half brother Darin, my father John Darling, reality tv show, vendos, solo car date; Batiuk will you please fucking learn how human beings talk?

    Luann- I wonder if this is setting up for Tiffany to beat them there and to have been the one to pick the Auss hole up. Obviously so she can be mocked for being a terrible person for volunteering her time to pick someone up.

    Mark Trail- “DOC, have you seen these two otters? The mother IS wounded and the baby LOOKS hungry!”
    “NO! They’re probably outside!”

    Mary Worth- Beth’s love does have a limit. She’s already blown Elinor’s funeral fund gallivanting around with Tom. Now she’s just goes to throw her mother’s corpse into the woods and let the villainous wolves have at it.

  20. revenge4Aldo
    June 10th, 2013 at 7:55 am [Reply]

    RMMD: Ah, this must be setting up a spin off… “Sarah Morgan, Publishing Wunderkind.”

  21. revenge4Aldo
    June 10th, 2013 at 7:58 am [Reply]

    Prince Valiant: Sad Prince Valiant is sad.

  22. seismic-2
    June 10th, 2013 at 7:59 am [Reply]

    A3G: “The Governor’s ball is coming up, Lu Ann.

    I think you’re taking your Cialis the wrong way, Peter.

  23. Amos Snarkadder
    June 10th, 2013 at 7:59 am [Reply]

    MW “Or your daughter may suffer as a result!”
    Beth? Suffer? Any more than she does already? Yeah, she’s really livin’ the life. We’d hate to see that change.

  24. Amos Snarkadder
    June 10th, 2013 at 8:02 am [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#22):

    A3G: “The Governor’s ball is coming up, Lu Ann.”

    I think you’re taking your Cialis the wrong way, Peter.

    Or Peter has a recurring problem with an undescended testicle.

  25. Lumaca Morente
    June 10th, 2013 at 8:06 am [Reply]

    My paper (the Philadelphia Inquirer) is not running old Doonesbury strips during Trudeau’s hiatus, thanks be to God. However, I am betting: last strip, birth of Alex’s twins; several strips jokingly talking about the younger generation taking over the strip; time jump when the strip returns. If it revolves around Alex, Toggle and the twins, will it be Jump Start with white folks? Or Baby Blues with political humor?

  26. S. Stout
    June 10th, 2013 at 8:06 am [Reply]

    A3G: So continuing the theme from yesterday…yes, everything Peter says is 100x better if you imagine it as a sexual euphemism.

  27. Droopy Says
    June 10th, 2013 at 8:08 am [Reply]

    Batiuk, if you can’t write human dialog, could you use terms ‘mudges would recognize? You could, perchance, copulatively explicate why your avatar oppugns the interloper’s ubiety. I think I just said “You ought to fucking explain why Creepy Les doesn’t want Frankie in Tumor Town.” Even if I didn’t say that, you still need to explain it.

  28. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    June 10th, 2013 at 8:08 am [Reply]

  29. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    June 10th, 2013 at 8:09 am [Reply]

    9CL – Another lesson in why an author should sketch out their plot, then start writing, rather than just sitting down and seeing where their pen takes them.

    Remember when this plot started, and it was about the vet stealing a cow? Yeah, that got resolved in a single panel several months ago. Now we’ve had months of this Sven and Fleurrie nonsense to take its place. We got two weeks worth of “women fantasize about man napping while sitting up”, several more weeks of “women jump in a lake to cool off their hot fantasies about a man taking a shower”, and now over a week of “Sveth proposes, then Fleurrie flees like a hyena”.

    Maybe if the author had actually planned this story in advance, we would have some context here. As it is, it makes no sense for Sveth to propose. But, who knows? Maybe there is a backstory here? Maybe the relationship goes beyond her being his employer who fired him so they could go on a (disasterous) first date together? Maybe some of the weeks worth of “OMG, now he’s drooling down his shirt! I think I’m having an orgasm!!” could have been devoted to giving enough context for this plot to make sense?

  30. bobanero
    June 10th, 2013 at 8:11 am [Reply]

    I wonder if Peter is really taking LuAnn to this Governor’s Ball and the reason he thinks she’s kidding about the white dress is that she’s just going to end up covered in mud anyway.

  31. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    June 10th, 2013 at 8:14 am [Reply]

    RMMD – Widdle Sawah wants to sell her crayon-on-notebook-paper etchings to the museum was tolerable as a one-off “Isn’t she precocious? Endearing, isn’t it?” bit, but the longer they drag this out, the more noxious Widdle Sawah becomes. When this ends with the museum giving her a book deal, complete with $25,000 advance, she will rocket into the top three most ridiculous comic strip book deals – edging out Judge Parker and right on the heels of Les Moore and Michael Patterson.

  32. Holly Folly
    June 10th, 2013 at 8:23 am [Reply]

    Considering Lu Ann dresses like ‘Business Barbie’ I think I have to side with the mayor on this one.

  33. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    June 10th, 2013 at 8:26 am [Reply]

    BB: And that, my friends, is the face of a man who’s just realized that he’s not getting an under-the-desk blow job today.

    MT: This strip does such a service in educating people about nature! Remember, kids, you can pick up a wild otter and cuddle it in your arms like a puppy—without getting your face ripped off at all!

  34. Illustrator Steve
    June 10th, 2013 at 8:32 am [Reply]

    MT – “Hi Rusty, it’s nice that Mark has finally spent some time with you. Did Mark finally take you fishing?”

    “NO, Cherry. We went to the OTTER place!”

    “WHAT other place might that be?”

    “NO! The OTTER place! We went there and saw the OTTER!”

    “Stop talking in riddles, Rusty. You went to the other place and saw the other WHAT, Rusty?”

    “NO, no, NO! WHAT is it don’t you understand about the OTTER place, Cherry?. Here, I’ll make it simple for you… take a look at my little OTTER!”

    “!!! GO straight to your room, young man, and DON’T come out until you father has a talk with you about how to speak to me decently!”

    “Oh yeah, FINE, but just WAIT ’till you see how BIG Mark’s OTTER is!”

    (Cherry): *blush*

  35. MarlowePI
    June 10th, 2013 at 8:38 am [Reply]

    To be fair to the bird-people in Shoe, humans capable of walking still drive cars. I can’t believe I just said “To be fair to the bird-people in Shoe.”

  36. Dennis Jimenez
    June 10th, 2013 at 8:39 am [Reply]

    A3G – The governor’s ball is coming up! Unfortunately, the governor’s Peter is limp as a dishrag….

  37. pugfuggly
    June 10th, 2013 at 8:39 am [Reply]

    FW “Jesus, dad, I just meant what’s been going on on Game of Thrones? I hear there was wedding or something…?”

    MT “Who do you think set those traps? And what do you think happened to the other otters?” You know, I almost admire the way in which the Trails consider every aspect of a woodland mystery in complete isolation, as if there were absolutely no connection between them at all. “Ok Rusty, it’s possible that this might simply be a case of a fur trapper plying his trade in this creek, but we can’t discount the possibility that these traps fell from from a passing helicopter and that the missing otters have moved into town under assumed identities. I’ll tell Doc to put on some coffee and then we’ll start making a list of everyone I know with a mustache…”

    MW OK, so this is the point when Elinor reveals she’s faking, right? Just drawing Mary in so she lets her guard down? And then jumps out of the bed with a sharpened toothbrush, right? C’mon, I’ve been expecting an all-out biddy fight for weeks now, don’t let me down now!!!

    Plugger‘s lives are kind of A Beautiful Mind, if John Nash was just trying to remember to pick up some paper towels.

  38. Everything Is Better with Monkeys
    June 10th, 2013 at 8:50 am [Reply]

    The Governor’s Ball is coming up. And frankly, it should be dropping. They both should have dropped a long time ago. Which is why I still look like a kid in some panels (except the ones where we look much older, I’m so confused).

  39. Lumaca Morente
    June 10th, 2013 at 8:55 am [Reply]

    @Dennis Jimenez (#36): Well, come on, look what he’s looking at.

  40. Lumaca Morente
    June 10th, 2013 at 8:57 am [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#37): “…kind of A Beautiful Mind, if John Nash was just trying to remember to pick up some paper towels….” May I use this as the blurb for my autobiography?

  41. Mibbitmaker
    June 10th, 2013 at 9:00 am [Reply]

    QUICKIES

    9CL: Jerks.

    FW: Yadda, yadda.

    MW: Elinor not care.

    NS: Amirite?

    RMMD: Insufferable. Give up, lady.

  42. Illustrator Steve
    June 10th, 2013 at 9:01 am [Reply]

    MT – “WHAT do you think happened to the OTHER OTTERS?”

    “WHAT other otters?”

    “The other otters from Ottawa that ought to otherwise be out ottering with the other otters!”

    I don’t know, Mark…maybe they are all OTOTOXIC OTTERS FROM OTTAWA and can’t hear you!”

    “Very funny, Rusty. Just for that you can walk home. Now, get OTTER here!”

  43. bbofun
    June 10th, 2013 at 9:03 am [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#29): Context? There’s PLENTY of context! Fleurrie’s an honorary Burber; Sven is a big hulking gut, and therefore an object of lust from Burbers; Sven also wears glasses, meaning he is hopelessly in love with a Burber female. There’s all the context you need in THIS strip!

    That being said, I suspect Sven has a split personality- when he was introduced in this story, his main traits were devotion to Fleurrie, politeness, and overwhelming stupidity. Then, after their night in the field, he showed the common sense to be ashamed of her actions. He (briefly) mentioned not enjoying being stared at like a piece of meat- and now he’s proposing. There’s something wrong with that boy! (Oh, wait- he’s being written by McEldowney- that explains it.)

    For some reason, both Phantom and Funky thought today they would suddenly gain a bunch of new readers.

    PHANTOM- “Related? How the hell should I know! I’m high as a freaking kite!” (I’m reading Lee Falk as sounding like a drunk Sir Ian McKellan for some reason.)

    FUNKY- “Geez, it was a rhetorical question, Dad. By the way, how long have I been in college? Maybe a month, two, tops? Why am I taking all my stuff home?”

    JUDGE PARKER- Somehow, this will end up with the Parkers getting a free ocean liner.

    CRANKSHAFT- How charming. A hemorrhoid joke. Nice.

    MARY WORTH- “Otherwise, your daughter may suffer! suffer, oh, yes, such sweet, sweet suffering !”*Homer Simpson drool*

  44. bbofun
    June 10th, 2013 at 9:04 am [Reply]

    @bbofun (#43): “Gut”= “giant.” Don’t know how that happened.

  45. Lumaca Morente
    June 10th, 2013 at 9:05 am [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#42): They are PROBABLY outside!

  46. Lumaca Morente
    June 10th, 2013 at 9:06 am [Reply]

    @bbofun (#44): Freudian slip? Do you have a ‘giant gut’ on your mind – or within view?

  47. Dale
    June 10th, 2013 at 9:09 am [Reply]

    MARK TRAIL

    Will Mark mount his own vigilante operation or call the AuthoritEyes?
    He could still follow them around, mess with evidence, and get a good story.

    Would he have written? -
    I CAPTURED the maryjawana growers. We TIED them to a TREE and left them in the FOREST over night. Nothing could go wrong with that. My WIFE, Calamity, was not with me on the trip.

  48. Pinewood Tom
    June 10th, 2013 at 9:10 am [Reply]

    @Huckleberry Fink (#y209): @Mr. Yezpitelok (#200): Damon Runyon, Fletcher Hanks and Fletcher Pratt walk into a bar…

    …while Fletcher Henderson plays “Gin House Blues” on the piano.

  49. Nekrotzar
    June 10th, 2013 at 9:16 am [Reply]

    Charlemagne’s decision to have the Pope coronate him established the Vatican as a major political player for the next 700 years. Today’s Heathcliff is far more disturbing.

  50. Little Blue Bicycle
    June 10th, 2013 at 9:17 am [Reply]

    A3G: Lu Ann is confused, the white dress was good enough for the chubby governor across the river when they went out for deep-dish pizza.

  51. Chris Christie
    June 10th, 2013 at 9:27 am [Reply]

    @Little Blue Bicycle (#50): Hey! I resemble that remark, beefwit!

  52. Jim Florio
    June 10th, 2013 at 9:28 am [Reply]

    Peter and Luann: Perfect together.
    //obscure?

  53. The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan
    June 10th, 2013 at 9:29 am [Reply]

    Not much time for snarking this morning, I’m afraid.

    Apt. 3-G: We’ve secretly replaced Frank Bolle with Folger’s Crystals Artists. Let’s see if anyone notices…

    <Wincing> Looks like they noticed. They caught the Margaret Shulock thing too. We are so screwed…

  54. Jim McGreevey
    June 10th, 2013 at 9:29 am [Reply]

    I think the Governor’s Ball will be divine.

  55. Ned Ryerson
    June 10th, 2013 at 9:29 am [Reply]

    MT: Okay, I wanted to do an “Otters ripped my flesh” joke again, but I just did that so instead, I’m hoping that before too long we have a scene that ends:

    Mark: Doc? Where’s your other hand?
    Doc: Between two otters. Why?
    Mark: THOSE AREN’T TWO OTTERS!

  56. Christie Whitman
    June 10th, 2013 at 9:30 am [Reply]

    The Governor’s Ball: It’s My Party, Too.
    //obscure?

  57. Jon Corzine
    June 10th, 2013 at 9:33 am [Reply]

    What’s this New York governor going to do while he’s out with this blonde – shut down the government for six days?
    //obscure?

  58. pugfuggly
    June 10th, 2013 at 9:34 am [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#40):

    “…kind of A Beautiful Mind, if John Nash was just trying to remember to pick up some paper towels….” May I use this as the blurb for my autobiography?

    Sure, as long as you add the ‘like’ in there so nobody notices me stupidly omitting a word…

  59. Richard Codey
    June 10th, 2013 at 9:35 am [Reply]

    Sounds like Pete needs somebody to step in and run the state for a while.
    //obscure?

  60. jim, some guy in iowa
    June 10th, 2013 at 9:36 am [Reply]

    was i in office long enough to go to my own governor’s ball? — eliot spitzer

  61. Brendan Byrne
    June 10th, 2013 at 9:36 am [Reply]

    Peter, Peter. Play your cards right, and someday they’ll name a state forest after you.
    //yeah there are forests in NJ

  62. Thomas Kean
    June 10th, 2013 at 9:37 am [Reply]

    ..or a rest stop on the NJ Turnpike.

  63. Lumaca Morente
    June 10th, 2013 at 9:37 am [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#58): Well, I didn’t notice the missing word, so…

  64. Donald DiFranceso, John Farmer and John Bennet
    June 10th, 2013 at 9:40 am [Reply]

  65. TheDiva
    June 10th, 2013 at 9:41 am [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#37): In Funkytown, Game of Thrones is considered a light comedy.

    A3G: “If I were kidding, I would start out by saying ‘Knock, knock!’ and then you’d say ‘Who’s there?’…”

    Heathcliff: Oh hey, it’s totally like a knighthood! Cause, see, the fudgepop is…well, it’s longer than it is wide, and has a handle on one end, so that kind of makes it look like a sword? Maybe? If you’re mildly insane?

    Shoe: Wait a minute, these aren’t seabirds! Is there tree even near an ocean? This entire concept is ruined for me!

  66. Dennis Jimenez
    June 10th, 2013 at 9:43 am [Reply]

    @Jon Corzine (#57): I’m in charge now! And I’ll run this ship tighter than Margo’s bun.

    Alexander Haig

  67. jim, some guy in iowa
    June 10th, 2013 at 9:44 am [Reply]

    after ice cream man knights heathcliff, does heathcliff get the fudgesicle? maybe that’s why dennis wants to return the ice cream cone, the damn thing”s all cat hair

  68. Lumaca Morente
    June 10th, 2013 at 9:45 am [Reply]

    Garfield: Good one today, actually.
    Phantom: I missed Saturday’s strip. On what pretext are they disrobing this ‘kid’?

  69. Morgan Wick
    June 10th, 2013 at 9:47 am [Reply]

    To be fair, Shoe’s birds sort of strike me as the flightless kind. Even though they live high in the trees…

  70. Joe, the Upper-Evergreen Guy
    June 10th, 2013 at 9:53 am [Reply]

    Crank: Thanks. Just the mental image I needed to throw up.

    MW: Sinister with a smile!

    RMMD: Is there a point to this crap??

  71. Marc
    June 10th, 2013 at 9:54 am [Reply]

    A3G- How have the tabloids not picked up on the story of the governor spending all his time in NYC trying to pick up girls as opposed to being in Albany, you know, governing?

  72. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    June 10th, 2013 at 9:58 am [Reply]

    @bbofun (#44): Sven is a big hulking gut

    As long as we are calling out typos, I’d have stuck with “Sven is a big hulking git.”

    I didn’t read the earlier character presentation as “Sven is an idiot”, just “Sven is out-of-the-loop and madly in love with Fleurrie”. His actions back when the plot was about cattle rustling were merely ignorant – he fetched the cow back and carried it in his arms for well over a mile because he thought that was what Fleurrie wanted.

    Still doesn’t explain how we got from “after their first date, Sven is upset with Fleurrie for behaving like an entitled, incompetent narcissist with serious anger issues” to “Sven is upset with Fleurrie and her friends for openly fantasizing about him when he fell asleep on the couch” to “Sven feels compelled to propose to Fleurrie while still standing in the lake”

  73. The Ridger
    June 10th, 2013 at 9:58 am [Reply]

    FW: “Your half-brother Darin” – which is there another of, Darins or half-brothers? Because honestly, that’s the only reason anybody would say that.

  74. Lumaca Morente
    June 10th, 2013 at 10:01 am [Reply]

    @Marc (#71): I think in NY these days, if the guy isn’t consorting with 4-figure per hour hookers or passing around pictures of his private parts, it’s ‘ho, hum’.

  75. Lumaca Morente
    June 10th, 2013 at 10:02 am [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#73): Now, if it was Darryl…

  76. Lumaca Morente
    June 10th, 2013 at 10:03 am [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#72): He has had bad thoughts about Fleurrie and has looked in her lingerie drawer. It’s the only honorable thing to do.

  77. Lisa B
    June 10th, 2013 at 10:04 am [Reply]

    Pigborn – I was blissfully unaware of this saga until CC. But I find today’s Astere Editorial even more annoying then the current story arc. Why say ‘two steps’ and then list three? Or is that just McE being McE?

  78. TheDiva
    June 10th, 2013 at 10:04 am [Reply]

    9CL: Did Mrs. McEldowney sprint away from Brooke when he tried to propose to her? That would both explain a lot about this strip, and make perfect sense.

    This plot is not off the rails. This plot is in a wild untamed prairie where teeming buffalo herds graze on a place where there will not be rails for a hundred years.

    C’shaft: Please let this be the meeting where she announces Crankshaft’s mandatory retirement…

    FW: “Um, Dad, those things are kind of a big deal! Couldn’t you have called and informed us about that sooner?”
    “What, you mean with a phone? You kids and your newfangled devices! Besides, you know I can’t tie up the line in case your dead mom calls again.”

    MW: I can’t be the only one who heard that last line in a deep, distorted voice from the pits of nightmare…

    Phantom: It’s so nice to see David Niven still getting work.

    Pibgorn: You mean how you’re prisoners in a computer program designed by a straw troll who happened to have a genie pop out of a soda can on him, and he wished for Samurai Girl to become Barbara Eden, and meanwhile you were both sucked up into a wormhole into a netherworld with a mermaid and turned into genies and then you popped out of the soda can and got sucked into the computer program for a moment but then you played on the straw troll’s domination fantasies and got out but then you got sucked back into the wormhole and the genie ran into Dru’s crotch and he did a big Casablanca parody because it turned out Dru broke his heart back when she was playing Scheherazade and you helped her make up the Arabian Nights stories but it turned out she was just there so she could kill the caliph for killing all his past wives so the whole storytelling part of the act was kind of pointless and meanwhile the wormhole spat you out somewhere in the Arctic where an alien robot told you all these things were connected and you all wound up back at straw troll’s place and it turns out he’s the reincarnation of the caliph who wants revenge on Dru and has been torturing her friends in order to draw her out even though there had been no evidence he had any connection to the wormhole or any of the events surrounding it before now, and now he has you both trapped in the computer program so he can repeatedly torture Dru to death and the program has erased your memories even though it’s never done that to anybody else before?

    …Yeah, I can see why you’d have a hard time remembering that.

  79. Lumaca Morente
    June 10th, 2013 at 10:06 am [Reply]

    @Lisa B (#77): I think we need to file a class action suit or something against CC for making us aware of Pibgorn.

  80. Lumaca Morente
    June 10th, 2013 at 10:08 am [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#78): Thanks for your recap of Pibgorn. There goes my PTSD again.

  81. Illustrator Steve
    June 10th, 2013 at 10:08 am [Reply]

    MT – (Buck the deer peering up into tree in panel #2): “Okay, Rocky, the two guys who took Betty Otter and her son Billy Otter are in that CJ5 jeep directly below you! Go ahead and drop the tree top! …RUN, BETTY AND BILLY, RUN!! … WHAM! BULLEYE! …Way to go, Rocky, great aim! In another life you could have been a bombardier!”

    (Rocky Racoon): “Thanks, Buck! … I think I’ll write a book about this and call it, ‘Thirty Seconds over LoFo’!”

    (Buck the deer): “IT WILL MAKE A GOOD STORY!”

  82. Amos Snarkadder
    June 10th, 2013 at 10:09 am [Reply]

    MW
    Mary: “Love has no limits! Tom’s a good man. Work together to find a way.”
    Elinor: “Mary, you don’t understand! It takes all my effort to manipulate and dominate Beth! No limits? I’ve got limits – I don’t have the energy to push Tom around, too!”
    Mary: “Amateur! Look, Elinor, I single-handedly manipulate an entire condominium complex, a hospital, and all the eating establishments in a ten-mile circumference, and still have time for my roses. Now, tell me you don’t have the energy to run the lives of just these two schlubs! Suck it up, old woman!”

  83. pugfuggly
    June 10th, 2013 at 10:10 am [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#73):

    Do you mean her half-brother Darin, who is the subject of a reality television show pitched by his estranged biological father named Frankie? Isn’t he involved with that girl who’s father was John Darling? Am I being specific enough?

  84. Lisa B
    June 10th, 2013 at 10:11 am [Reply]

    @Lisa B (#77): oops! Austere

  85. TheDiva
    June 10th, 2013 at 10:16 am [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#80): Sorry. It sounds even stupider when it’s all written out like that, doesn’t it?

  86. jim, some guy in iowa
    June 10th, 2013 at 10:16 am [Reply]

    @Lisa B (#77): @Lumaca Morente (#80): i also was unaware of mc e until i started coming here. he was sort of fascinating, in a “ugggh. wtf will he do next? that? ugggh” kind of way for a while

    i quit reading ‘pibgorn’ – it was just making me mad. i try to avoid ’9cl’, but sometimes, like today, the comments kind of lead me there. fleurrie is probably just dashing off to get her wedding dress. then she’ll realize sveth lost her dresser, pitch a fit, sveth will get all huffy himself, and on we go…

  87. Red Greenback
    June 10th, 2013 at 10:17 am [Reply]

    Today’s Dennis the Menace is brought to you by Ketchup® brand catsup. Now available in wide-mouth and Handi-Skweez™ bottles.

    Heathcliff: “Christ, what an asshole!”

    BGSS: Cuzzin Irvin’s overalls are brought to you today by Teac®.

    Shoe: Question: If the Koch brothers bought The Treetops Tattler-Tribune, would anyone notice the difference in editorial content?

    A3-G: The spills on Lu Ann’s two year old nice white dress are going to GO VIRAL!!

  88. Amos Snarkadder
    June 10th, 2013 at 10:17 am [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#37):

    C’mon, I’ve been expecting an all-out biddy fight for weeks now, don’t let me down now!!!

    Yes, it has been a real let down. Elinor caved in way too soon. She’s no Nola Wolverson! I fear we may never see the likes of her again.

  89. sldawgs
    June 10th, 2013 at 10:18 am [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#29): Since when has there been any context in anything Brooke has done?

  90. Lumaca Morente
    June 10th, 2013 at 10:20 am [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#85): No, you actually gave it a patina of intelligence, compared to the strip itself.

  91. Lumaca Morente
    June 10th, 2013 at 10:21 am [Reply]

    @Amos Snarkadder (#88): You, sir are a BOLD and brazen article.

  92. Amos Snarkadder
    June 10th, 2013 at 10:21 am [Reply]

    @bbofun (#43):

    CRANKSHAFT- How charming. A hemorrhoid joke. Nice.

    Is this the reason Ed is so disagreeable? Why he lashes out, insults people and destroys property?
    // We knew he was an asshole already. We just didn’t know he was a raw, inflamed asshole. Nor did we need to.

  93. Lumaca Morente
    June 10th, 2013 at 10:22 am [Reply]

    @Amos Snarkadder (#88): My apologies, looks like it was Red Greenback above you who made such a bold move. Impudent pup.

  94. Lumaca Morente
    June 10th, 2013 at 10:23 am [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#93): Where is queek with an impudent pup when you need one?

  95. Ned Ryerson
    June 10th, 2013 at 10:23 am [Reply]

    Oh snap! Uncle Lumpy, bring the thing!

  96. walt d.
    June 10th, 2013 at 10:23 am [Reply]

    A3G: Poor Lu Ann. Too citified for NJ, too country for Albany. Frankly, the Guv doesn’t look like a fashion plate himself.

    RMMD: Sarah 2, museum 0. Director recovers quickly, saying that Sarah’s father can finance the museum’s creation and publication of said book, and they will place it in the bookstore. Sarah responds, you don’t understand. People give US money and stuff. You can fly to CA later today and work out the details with my father’s lawyer, Mr. Driver.

    9CL: I don’t know about younger generations, but in boomer days if a woman blatantly offered to fuck some guy after a brief association, and said guy wanted to marry first, then said girl would have reacted like this.

    FW: Actually Frankie’s project is a little sleazy but hardly below the common run of reality shows and daytime TV. So a person who isn’t conditioned to believe that the central characters must be “the good guys” would reasonably conclude that Les is just trying to protect his literary property. How did Frankie’s proposal “malign” St. Lisa?

    FW: In regard to which, So far as I know, “Lisa’s Story” consists of: A young woman gets cancer and dies. The end. Millions of people die of cancer, and I suspect thousands of manuscripts are written by caregivers to exorcise their grief. What reason do we have to think that Les has the writing competence or publishing connections to make his the one that gets published?

    FW: The comics are full of low moments. (They should give a Reuben for the most appalling strip of the year.) The lowest this year I believe is when Les became horny upon learning of a fresh opportunity to profit from his dead wife, and then his wife said, huh uh, none for you until we can cash that check. I mean, Frankie is an amateur at bottom feeding compared to that.

  97. Amos Snarkadder
    June 10th, 2013 at 10:24 am [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#91): You, sir are a BOLD and brazen article pronoun.
    FTFY
    Honest, it wasn’t me! It was that way before I got here! I always use protection!
    (aka Preview)

  98. Shrug, Under a Cabbage Leaf
    June 10th, 2013 at 10:24 am [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#y192):

    “What’s next, Fleurrie thinking that she’s pregnant?”

    But they haven’t even. . .oh, that’s right. She’s probably convinced that she caught pregnancy from sitting on a hay bale that Sven had previously sat on.

    (And in this strip, who knows? Maybe she’s right.)

    //// A little unicorn told me. . .

  99. Lumaca Morente
    June 10th, 2013 at 10:26 am [Reply]

    @Shrug, Under a Cabbage Leaf (#98): Things float around in water. I’ve been told.

  100. The New Chris Christie Minstrels
    June 10th, 2013 at 10:28 am [Reply]

    @Little Blue Bicycle (#50):

    We had to let Lu Ann go after she kept confusing the lyrics for “Green, Green” with the lyrics for “Greensleeves.”

  101. Lumaca Morente
    June 10th, 2013 at 10:29 am [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#99): that’s why they put chlorine in pools, isn’t it?

  102. Alter Ego, Extra Bold
    June 10th, 2013 at 10:29 am [Reply]

    love is… using nudity to beat out Mary Worth in a cake-baking contest.

  103. Illustrator Steve
    June 10th, 2013 at 10:36 am [Reply]

    MT – It’s been such a long time since Mark has stayed home for more than three hours he decides to expand his ranch into more of a working farm by replacing the missing water tower and going into the Otter and Holstein-Friesian business. Cherry thought up the catchy name for the business…OTTERS AND UTTERS.

    Meanwhile…

    (Mark): “Hey, Doc … have you seen Rusty around?”

    (Doc): “NO! He’s probably outside painting the name of your new business, “OTTERS AND UTTERS ™ ” across both sides of your brand new jeep!”

    (Mark): “NO!! Not on my special ordered pearlescent paint job!!”

  104. Lumaca Morente
    June 10th, 2013 at 10:37 am [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#103): “Utters”? Who taught you animal husbandry – Fleurrie?
    //Note, not ‘animal husbandry’ in the Pluggers sense.

  105. Lumaca Morente
    June 10th, 2013 at 10:38 am [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#103): that’s actually so Sven-like of you, that you can’t bring yourself to say “udders”.

  106. Alter Ego, Double Extra Bold
    June 10th, 2013 at 10:39 am [Reply]

    Baby Blues – With that gesture in the first panel, it looks like she’s telling the kids to stop staring at her boobs.

  107. Burntout Shrug
    June 10th, 2013 at 10:40 am [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#y155):

    “In the libraries where I’ve worked, the circulation department (which handled the shelving and processing of materials) was a separate entity from the reference departments (which answered all the tricky questions and did other traditional “librarian”-type duties).”

    Ah, the Good Old Days. Current trend however seems to be to combine as many functions as possible into one desk, staffed minimally with half-trained people, allegedly for the convenience of patrons who thus do not need to go to more than place to get misinformed.

    In my own(academic) library, for instance, my one desk is now handling half a dozen departments’ worth of functions that once had their own service points: general reference, business reference, government publications reference, circulation, fines and borrowing privileges, and some aspects of interlibrary loan.

    Which is the major reason I’m really looking forward to retiring this fall…

  108. Dale
    June 10th, 2013 at 10:42 am [Reply]

    MARK TRAIL

    The otters are happily riding in the back seat of the Jeep, instead of hopping out.
    If they blow lunch, will cleaning up be a problem? Only for Calamity.

    Did Mark think to steal the trap? It’s the first step to collecting bogus evidence.
    A lousy gum wrapper is enough circumstantial evidence to get a murder conviction.

  109. Red Greenback
    June 10th, 2013 at 10:43 am [Reply]

    Aw, crap. I have no idea what happened. Help, Uncle Lumpy, twizzle-twazzle us outta here!

  110. Jerry Fox, from Cleveland
    June 10th, 2013 at 10:46 am [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#25): My paper (the Philadelphia Inquirer) is not running old Doonesbury strips during Trudeau’s hiatus, thanks be to God. However, I am betting: last strip, birth of Alex’s twins; several strips jokingly talking about the younger generation taking over the strip; time jump when the strip returns.

    Oh, dear lord, no. Trudeau is ripping off Batuik?!?

  111. Lumaca Morente
    June 10th, 2013 at 10:49 am [Reply]

    @Jerry Fox, from Cleveland (#110): He’s time-jumped before, thankfully without going all Batiuk on us.

  112. Illustrator Steve
    June 10th, 2013 at 10:50 am [Reply]

    MT – “Okay, family. Bill Ellis wants to send me on another adventure so I must leave immediately for at least six months. While I’maway you allmust chip in to take car of my new OTTERS AND UTTERS ™ business. That will mean cleaning up the manure at 5am and 6pm every day along with feeding the animals, the costs of the vet’s vists, the roof repairs before you mow the fields and bring in the bails of hay and the….”

    (Doc, Cherry, Rusty, Andy, Sassy, and ranger Tom Martain): “FU_K YOU, MARK TRAIL!!!”

  113. Mayor Dalton
    June 10th, 2013 at 10:51 am [Reply]

    The Governor’s ball doesn’t have it’s own Pacebook page. Weaksauce.

  114. Lumaca Morente
    June 10th, 2013 at 10:52 am [Reply]

    @Red Greenback (#109): You did not close your html tag. What, were you born in a barn?

  115. Illustrator Steve
    June 10th, 2013 at 10:53 am [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#104): Whoops, I meant ‘uters’, he utters.

  116. Illustrator Steve
    June 10th, 2013 at 10:54 am [Reply]

    “I meant UDDERS!”, he utters.

  117. Lumaca Morente
    June 10th, 2013 at 10:58 am [Reply]

    This bold print is using up all the ink in my monitor!!!

  118. Illustrator Steve
    June 10th, 2013 at 11:03 am [Reply]

    @Dale (#108): “Did Mark think to steal the trap?”

    I think Mark has just STEPPED INTO the trap! But let’s wait to see what clues TRMT may have to share with us about this new edge-of-your-seat-nail-biting-can’t-wait-till-tomorrow’s-edition adventure and if it happens to involve anything to do with propane, fedoras, fire or grizzly bears.

  119. Fashion Police
    June 10th, 2013 at 11:05 am [Reply]

    We are quite taken with Mrs. Worth’s black suit and white shirt. We only wish she had donned a necktie to finish the outfit.

  120. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    June 10th, 2013 at 11:07 am [Reply]

  121. Illustrator Steve
    June 10th, 2013 at 11:08 am [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#117): “This bold print is using up all the ink in my monitor!”

    The bold print is UDDERLY unacceptable!

  122. Red Greenback
    June 10th, 2013 at 11:10 am [Reply]

    Today’s Dennis the Menace is brought to you by Ketchup® brand catsup. Now available in wide-mouth and Handi-Skweez™ bottles.

    Heathcliff: “Christ, what an asshole!”

    BGSS: Cuzzin Irvin’s overalls are brought to you today by Teac®.

    Shoe: Question: If the Koch brothers bought The Treetops Tattler-Tribune, would anyone notice the difference in editorial content?

    A3-G: The spills on Lu Ann’s two year old nice white dress are going to GO VIRAL!!

  123. Peanut Gallery
    June 10th, 2013 at 11:10 am [Reply]

    A3G – Okay, she has a nice white dress. But did she get a party on her confirmation?

  124. Red Greenback
    June 10th, 2013 at 11:11 am [Reply]

    Test

  125. Old Folkie
    June 10th, 2013 at 11:13 am [Reply]

    “To BOLDLY go where no one has gone before”

    This is starting to hurt my eyes…

  126. Lumaca Morente
    June 10th, 2013 at 11:13 am [Reply]

  127. TheDiva
    June 10th, 2013 at 11:15 am [Reply]

    @Burntout Shrug (#107): True. A few years back at my last job, increased automation resulted in a lot of the circulation staff being reorganized as “Patron Service Technicians,” who would walk around and help with the easy “where are the bathroom”-type questions while leaving the trickier inquiries to the reference staff. This in turn freed up the reference librarians for other tasks like programming, outreach, and wondering why they had spent so much money getting that graduate degree anyway.

  128. Lumaca Morente
    June 10th, 2013 at 11:15 am [Reply]

    @Red Greenback (#124): Well, you get credit for your good intentions. Just keep in mind that the road to hell is paved with them.

  129. Not Just any Dipstick
    June 10th, 2013 at 11:17 am [Reply]

    @Ned Ryerson (#55): Lord help me, I got that one!

  130. Burntout Embers of Shrug
    June 10th, 2013 at 11:22 am [Reply]

    @Burntout Shrug (#107):

    “In my own(academic) library, for instance, my one desk is now handling half a dozen departments’ worth of functions that once had their own service points…”

    and even in that list I forgot one: Reserve.

    And (alleged) backup for the tech desk in the computer lab when that’s not staffed.

    End of grump; back to snark.

  131. Uncle Lumpy
    June 10th, 2013 at 11:23 am [Reply]

    Jeez, you step away for one freaking minute ….

  132. Ned Ryerson
    June 10th, 2013 at 11:24 am [Reply]

    I think Uncle Lumpy might know someone who knows something that can put the kibosh on all this boldness!

  133. tallyHO
    June 10th, 2013 at 11:24 am [Reply]

    Heathcliff

    I want to think the joke is that once knighted Sir Heathcliff the Mouser will have carte blanche on any of the local dairy farms. Once word spreads that he’s risen in status, no one will stop him from rampaging on farms like a cat out of hell or like a character from that Mad Max movie.

    Knighting that cat is a win-win. The farms get a top notch mouser and Heathcliff extends his reach beyond the neighborhood.

  134. DownInTheValley
    June 10th, 2013 at 11:25 am [Reply]

    DtM: Based on the hidden position of Dennis’ left hand, I’d say he stuck more than his tongue in that cone. Whether that’s menacing or not depends on how long that guy’s been working the playground ice cream stand.

  135. Stroker Ace
    June 10th, 2013 at 11:27 am [Reply]

    DtM – Margaret begins her decline: ‘I’ll pay to lick it, Dennis’.

  136. Not Just any Dipstick
    June 10th, 2013 at 11:29 am [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#121): I have some bold print white-out for sale. Cheap.

  137. Not Just any Dipstick
    June 10th, 2013 at 11:30 am [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#123): But does it have the obligatory semen stain?

  138. Red Greenback
    June 10th, 2013 at 11:32 am [Reply]

    Today’s Mark Trail is brought to you by Mr. Milker®, now in aquatic mammal size.

    @Uncle Lumpy (#131): Thanks, Unka!

  139. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    June 10th, 2013 at 11:32 am [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#123): I see what you did there.

    *applaz*

  140. Uncle Lumpy
    June 10th, 2013 at 11:32 am [Reply]

    @Stroker Ace (#135):

    Man, I would read the hell out of Margaret’s Decline, especially if Alice Mitchell shows up in a cameo as The Tutor.

    I’m pretty sure this makes me a Bad Person.

  141. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    June 10th, 2013 at 11:33 am [Reply]

    @Jerry Fox, from Cleveland (#110): & @Lumaca Morente (#111): I’ll be curious to see how he comes back, since he left us with Alex about to give birth at her graduation. (The “real doctor” bit was funny.)

    Apparently, Trudeau is working on a “TV” series with Amazon, called Alpha House–about a group of senators who share a house in DC (based on a real such house). I watched the pilot; it has some good actors (John Goodman!) but was a bit obvious in its types, too. Still, I’ll likely check it out when it’s finished.

    In the meantime, the WashPost is replacing Doonesbury with something called Fort Knox, which is about—haha, get this—a husband and wife and their two teenaged kids! He’s in the military, and they move a lot, so it will be nothing like the other gazillion strips about families! /sarcasm

  142. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    June 10th, 2013 at 11:35 am [Reply]

    @Not Just any Dipstick (#137): But does it have the obligatory semen stain?

    No, but it does have the inevitable pinhole burns. All down the front.

  143. Fashion Police
    June 10th, 2013 at 11:38 am [Reply]

    One sincerely hopes Mrs. Powers is not referring to that horrid one-shoulder thing thrust upon her by the producers of I Dressed in the Dark.

    Presumably this little vignette is meant to illustrate Mrs. Powers’ character: sweetly naive and unpretentious, yet practical. Or hopelessly vapid. We once had high hopes for Ms. Shulock but it appears that associating too closely with Mr. Bolle has seriously damaged her judgment. One cannot possibly imagine that an attractive young woman would even think of being thrust into the public mosh pit of the Governor’s Ball – on the arm of the Governor no less – while wearing a slightly shop-worn two-year-old white dress. Whatever happened to the glamour and style that was the hallmark of Apartment 3-G in its prime?

    It pains us no end that this exemplar of bargain-basement mediocrity lives on, and Brenda Starr is gone forever.

  144. Lumaca Morente
    June 10th, 2013 at 11:41 am [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#141): Yes, why are family strips so blah? Why don’t they take some inspiration from the classics: Medea, Oedypus, Phaedra? There’s some great stuff in Tacitus, too.

  145. Uncle Lumpy
    June 10th, 2013 at 11:41 am [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#141):

    Wow, Fort Knox has got to be the first “service comedy” strip in a loooooong time. Fifties and sixties pop culture used feature lots of military — anybody else remember The Phil Silvers Show, a.k.a. Sergeant Bilko? But it all dried up during Vietnam. Mash was an outlier, of course, and Beetle Bailey a holdover.

  146. Peanut Gallery
    June 10th, 2013 at 11:43 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#27):

    You could, perchance, copulatively explicate why your avatar oppugns the interloper’s ubiety.

    Brooke? Is that you?

  147. Lumaca Morente
    June 10th, 2013 at 11:43 am [Reply]

    @Fashion Police (#143): Watching the Tonies last night, it seemed like every woman was wearing a one-shoulder dress, possibly including (88-year old) Cicely Tyson. (But not Mike Tyson, though. Can’t believe no one made a Tyson-Tyson joke last night.)

  148. Lumaca Morente
    June 10th, 2013 at 11:43 am [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#145): So it’s not like Beetle Bailey, I take it.

  149. Baka Gaijin
    June 10th, 2013 at 11:45 am [Reply]

    In a horrifying first-panel artistic decision, Joe Giella used a deflating sex doll as a model for Mary Worth’s face.

    In an unannounced Dick Tracy crossover, Peter the Governor is played by Leonard “Little Face” Finny.

    No, Sherman (of the Lagoon), it’s not an Olive Garden, it’s a Red Lobster.

  150. Anonymous
    June 10th, 2013 at 11:51 am [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#29):

    Remember when this plot started, and it was about the vet stealing a cow? Yeah, that got resolved in a single panel several months ago.

    I’m pretty sure that happened less than a week ago in strip-time. I also wouldn’t consider it resolved unless the Burbers are committed to caring for the cow and its calf indefinitely. Given how little attention they’ve been given, I wouldn’t be surprised if they’ve wandered back to whatever farmers they were stolen from and no-one’s noticed (too busy fantasizing and jumping into lakes).

  151. Bootsy
    June 10th, 2013 at 11:53 am [Reply]

    @bbofun (#43):

    I think “big hulking gut” sounded just right. I haven’t really been following 9 CWL, so is brunette Edda going to marry straight Seth?

  152. Gladly, the cross-eyed bear
    June 10th, 2013 at 11:55 am [Reply]

  153. Esther Blodgett
    June 10th, 2013 at 12:01 pm [Reply]

    FW: I’m going to pretend that the reason people in Westview constantly say stupid shit like “reality TV show” and “your half-brother Darin” is that they all have tumors affecting the part of the brain that keeps people from saying stupid shit like “reality TV show” and “your half-brother Darin.”

  154. commodorejohn
    June 10th, 2013 at 12:10 pm [Reply]

    FW – Ye gods. That’s some McEldowneyan wall-of-verbage there. Only instead of consisting of random substitutions from every word in the the thesaurus that’s at least six letters long, the space here is filled by pointlessly exact specification of things we’re already clear on…

  155. Tallybo
    June 10th, 2013 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

    A3G: The governor might not know a thing about governing, or even what city his office is in, but the man knows fashion … how dare she think a dress from two seasons ago would be appropriate for his little event?

  156. Acacia
    June 10th, 2013 at 12:12 pm [Reply]

    I’m still baffled by Josh’s insistence that Dennis actually be deviously menacing. Decades ago when Ketcham was at the helm and “Dennis the Menace” comics were still funny (I have books proving this, somewhere), Dennis was menacing not because he was Chaotic Evil, but because his 5-year old naivete was such a menace to his parents and to Mister Wilson due to the problems he often unintentionally caused. When “Dennis” wasn’t funny, it was because the short tales were compelling in some way–such as when Dennis runs up a large bill for gifts for a stranger on his parents’ tab at a department store because “Santa doesn’t get anything for Christmas.” That’s not to say that the current crop of “Dennis the Menace” strips are any good–frankly, they are terrible, but not because Dennis really should be doing things like keying cars or burning down the Wilsons’ house or selling Joey into slavery to earn his Menace title.

    Josh should probably try reading the British version of “Dennis the Menace” (no relation to Hank Ketcham) who is menacing because he is evil.

  157. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    June 10th, 2013 at 12:18 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#154): Re: FW

    Tom should learn from Brooke at 9CL: If your plot makes absolutely no sense, as is made clear by any attempt to explain what is going on, then avoid at all costs having a character attempt to describe the plot.

    Lesson Two: If you find yourself in the middle of the story and realize that you forgot long ago what the plot is, just dither around with a few weeks’ worth of juvenile sexual innuendo until your readers have forgotten as well.

  158. Dood
    June 10th, 2013 at 12:20 pm [Reply]

    Heathcliff: When you play the game of thrones, you win or you enjoy a frosty treat.

  159. walt d.
    June 10th, 2013 at 12:27 pm [Reply]

    @Acacia (#156): I’ve said this before–if you want menacing, go back to the ’50s when Dennis was frequently downright mean, but that’s also when he got a lot of whippings instead of being put in the corner. I’m doubtless prejudiced on this, but if you go through the work as a whole there is probably a larger percentage of DtM panels that are hilarious, beautifully drawn, or in some way worth saving than any other strip.

  160. jim, some guy in iowa
    June 10th, 2013 at 12:33 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#157): y’know, the weird thing is the basic “fw” plot makes sense. frankie wants a piece of the action, regarding the alleged $ of “lisa’s story”, and he’s going to use his and lisa’s son to get it

    it’s something that could (does) actually happen, as opposed to the crap mc e perpetuates. it’s a shame batiuk is making such a meandering and repetitive botch of the thing

  161. Acacia
    June 10th, 2013 at 12:37 pm [Reply]

    @walt d. (#159): What you say about vintage “Dennis” is true about a lot of strips that should have ended long ago.

    Granted, “Dennis” and other vintage strips aren’t funny or interesting anymore, and they should make way for new talent. Much the same thing could be said for The Comics Curmudgeon, which isn’t really all that funny these days; maybe I’ve grown too accustomed to Josh’s type of humor, but he always picks on the same few strips using the same few gags or the same brand of jokes, and gags like “Dennis isn’t menacing” have grown stale. It’s like how he once identified that one particular strip was thrown together so that the staff could make their tee time. These days I tend to skim the blog in the same way I skim the newspaper comics.

  162. Lumaca Morente
    June 10th, 2013 at 12:39 pm [Reply]

    @jim, some guy in iowa (#160): The thing is, it’s the very stupidity of the plot that’s got our attention. In this, Batiuk is very much like Evans. If it were set up more logically, the whole arc would be so predictable, we wouldn’t need to read it. As it is, we ask ourselves, ‘How the heck is Frankie supposed to be trying to make money out of this,’ etc. and we keep reading. Similarly, ‘How the heck is TJ going to run a hot dog cart,’ etc. This is different than wondering who the heck Balloon Boy is in The Phantom. There, we are genuinely mystified.

  163. Dood
    June 10th, 2013 at 12:46 pm [Reply]

    Barney Google and Snuffy Smith: Judging by their matching jerseys, it must be time for a new season of Hootin’ Holler Hunger Games.

  164. jim, some guy in iowa
    June 10th, 2013 at 12:49 pm [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#162): so i’m making the mistake of thinking batiuk is incompetent when he’s really quite competent at compelling absurdity?

    i kind of like that idea, actually

  165. The Ridger
    June 10th, 2013 at 12:50 pm [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#150):

    Remember when this plot started, and it was about the vet stealing a cow? Yeah, that got resolved in a single panel several months ago.

    I’m pretty sure that happened less than a week ago in strip-time.

    I’m pretty sure that happened yesterday in strip time.

  166. Jim Currently not in Wisc. (Temporarily at the Detroit Airport)
    June 10th, 2013 at 12:55 pm [Reply]

    Marcus Autrailius: In many (if not most) states, it’s a crime to tamper with legally set traps. In fact, removing a trapped animal can, in some cases, even be prosecuted as theft. You’d think a hotshot writer for a leading outdoors magazine would know that.

  167. Calico
    June 10th, 2013 at 12:59 pm [Reply]

    @revenge4Aldo (#20):
    Sawah Morgan, the new Tina Brown.

  168. Lumaca Morente
    June 10th, 2013 at 12:59 pm [Reply]

    @jim, some guy in iowa (#164): Well, no, I don’t think he’s doing it on purpose.

  169. The Ridger
    June 10th, 2013 at 1:12 pm [Reply]

    @Jim Currently not in Wisc. (Temporarily at the Detroit Airport) (#166): Ah, but if Mark does it, it is, by definition, legal. Because JUSTICE, Right Fist O’.

  170. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    June 10th, 2013 at 1:14 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#78): @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#29): I would applaud you both for your re-caps, but I’m a bit worried about your sanity. Parsing McE’s thought trails can’t be good for a person.

  171. Nick
    June 10th, 2013 at 1:17 pm [Reply]

    Heathcliff has for awhile now been recounting the history that lead to the rise of Princess Pussycat, and her ruthless enforcer Slylock Fox. In this panel we see the feudalism that pervades the Slylock world begin to take root.

  172. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    June 10th, 2013 at 1:17 pm [Reply]

    folks, if you haven’t noticed the Google doodle for today, I highly recommend going there and watching the results.

    it’s wonderful.

  173. Lumaca Morente
    June 10th, 2013 at 1:27 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#172): Wow! Happy birthday, Mr. Se…oh, wait…
    //cries little tears in fond remembrance.

  174. seismic-2
    June 10th, 2013 at 1:39 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#145): “Service comedies” have always been a staple of Hollywood, and although they have become a lot scarcer than they once were, this is certainly due at least in part to the simple fact that there are a lot fewer Hollywood movies altogether nowadays (especially low-budget ones, which service comedies typically were) than were being cranked out in the golden era of the studio system. (“They didn’t want them good, they just wanted them Tuesday.” – Ronald Reagan) Among the service comedies that have been most popular in the post-Vietnam era have been Stripes and Private Benjamin, both of which follow the classic formula that has been little changed since the earliest examples of the genre. (The brass are too rigid and the rascally heroes are a disruptive but innovative influence, so the military establishment eventually improves by bending to their mischief, and the heroes themselves emerge as more mature and responsible persons on account of their experience.)

    Anyway, I have read Fort Knox from time to time since it debuted in 2009, and I have never been impressed enough by it to become a regular reader. I do wish WaPo had used the “Doonesbury” space to try out some more innovative comics than this rather routine one.

  175. Lumaca Morente
    June 10th, 2013 at 1:49 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#174): The Phila. Inquirer is doing just that. Today we got ‘Frazz’ and that Kennel thing (forgot the title and already passed my paper on to someone else). I never know what I think when I first see a new strip. I tend to be resistant. Aller Anfang ist schwer.

  176. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    June 10th, 2013 at 1:58 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#145): Here’s some info on Fort Knox—along with a couple of samples, so you can see the hilarity that’s about to ensue.

  177. Droopy Says
    June 10th, 2013 at 2:01 pm [Reply]

    @Jim Currently not in Wisc. (Temporarily at the Detroit Airport) (#166): I hope that tomorrow Mark says “It isn’t otter-trapping season in this state, so it must be poachers.” But if we get another panel like today’s second panel, it can wait.

  178. odinthor
    June 10th, 2013 at 2:01 pm [Reply]

    #3. Ratiocinator.

    FW: For the love of Jebus, everybody stop saying “reality tv show”! The “tv” part. Is. REDUNDANT!!!! Fuck!

    I dunno. It could be a reality live theater show. It could be a reality radio show. It could be a reality webcam show. It could be a reality fashion show. It could be a reality Punch and Judy show, with real blood. It could be a reality Garbage Ape show, with real people’s trash cans on real streets. Many people would say that a reality TV show is a reality Garbage Ape show. I would tend to agree.

  179. Droopy Says
    June 10th, 2013 at 2:05 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#146): Oh, lordy, I stared into the abyss and McEch stared back.

  180. Lumaca Morente
    June 10th, 2013 at 2:07 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#176): Beautiful artwork on that strip *sarcasm* but I enjoyed the article. ‘Nom de toon’ –

  181. Dale
    June 10th, 2013 at 2:07 pm [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#169):

    MARK TRAIL

    That’s one of the problems I have with MT. Even now, evidence is SUPPOSED to be collected LEGALLY. Mark never has anything that would stand up if there were a trial. And, he never gets prosecuted or even pays for the damage he does.
    He must have a universal Letter of Markue.

  182. Liam
    June 10th, 2013 at 2:11 pm [Reply]

    MT-Any excuse to avoid the family for a few weeks, eh Mark?

  183. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    June 10th, 2013 at 2:12 pm [Reply]

    @Ratiocinator (#3): For the love of Jebus, everybody stop saying “reality tv show”! The “tv” part. Is. REDUNDANT!!!! Fuck!

    I can still say “solo car date” though, right?

  184. The Ridger
    June 10th, 2013 at 2:22 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#176): “As military brats, the boys live for change”. Yeah, dad, keep on telling yourself that as you uproot them one more time. This is what they live for. Not how they have to live.

  185. Dale
    June 10th, 2013 at 2:26 pm [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#180):

    Fort Knox -

    Good-looking people, compared to The Oblongs.

  186. AhClem
    June 10th, 2013 at 2:27 pm [Reply]

    @walt d. (#96):

    What reason do we have to think that Les has the writing competence or publishing connections to make his the one that gets published?

    He knows the publisher who produced “Stone Season.”

  187. Uncle Lumpy
    June 10th, 2013 at 2:28 pm [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#184):

    “As military brats, the boys live for change”

    Our underpaid military.

  188. Ratiocinator
    June 10th, 2013 at 2:45 pm [Reply]

    @odinthor (#178):

    It could be a reality Garbage Ape show, with real people’s trash cans on real streets.

    I would watch the hell out of that.

    @Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol (#183):

    I can still say “solo car date” though, right?

    If it meant I never had to hear or read the words “reality tv show” in that order ever again, I’d say go nuts.

  189. Calico
    June 10th, 2013 at 2:47 pm [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#173):
    Wow.
    I just watched this, and yes, I think I have some cat hair in my eyes…funny that…

  190. Uncle Lumpy
    June 10th, 2013 at 2:51 pm [Reply]

    @Dale (#181):

    … evidence is SUPPOSED to be collected LEGALLY.

    Mark takes a relaxed attitude toward both law enforcement and the Fourth Amendment. But if I were a criminal, I’d rather hide out in Lost Forest than let them send me to the nightmare police state of Slylock Fox.

  191. odinthor
    June 10th, 2013 at 2:55 pm [Reply]

    #188. Ratiocinator.

    If it meant I never had to hear or read the words “reality tv show” in that order ever again, I’d say go nuts.

    Let’s go for a “don’t raise the bridge, lower the river” solution: Render usage of the objectionable phrase unnecessary by eliminating the art entertainment form to which it refers. Everybody’s a winner!

  192. Uncle Lumpy
    June 10th, 2013 at 2:59 pm [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#180):

    Beautiful artwork on that strip *sarcasm* …

    Fort Knox will look like the Portrait of Adele Bloch-Bauer I on the WaPo comics page next to Reply All.

  193. commodorejohn
    June 10th, 2013 at 3:01 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#192): Still, Reply All is just jaw-droppingly, mind-blowingly incompetent. Fort Knox is drawn by someone who apparently knows basic draftsmanship and understands how human beings are put together, and intentionally chooses to make horrible, angular mockeries of life. It’s not quite as violently ugly as Family Tree, but it’s up there.

  194. Ratiocinator
    June 10th, 2013 at 3:01 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#78):

    This plot is not off the rails. This plot is in a wild untamed prairie where teeming buffalo herds graze on a place where there will not be rails for a hundred years.

    Grazing on a plot like this cannot be good for the buffalo….

    @Lumaca Morente (#79): Pibgorn is unique for me. There are some strips that CC’s initially exposed me to which I actually sort of like, but which I snark at anyway. There are others I don’t like, which I’m even happier to snark at. There are a few I absolutely loathe, but which I still look at regularly so that I know what’s going on in them and can snark about it.

    Pibgorn is the only strip I’ve read where I stopped reading (apart from the occasional wary glance to see what people here are talking about when they bring it up) because the benefit of getting material for snark was outweighed by the cost to my mental well-being.

    @jim, some guy in iowa (#86):

    i quit reading ‘pibgorn’ – it was just making me mad.

    And I see I’m not the only one. I know somebody else finally got so disgusted with it that he just stopped even looking–was it Pastordan?

    @walt d. (#96):

    9CL: I don’t know about younger generations, but in boomer days if a woman blatantly offered to fuck some guy after a brief association, and said guy wanted to marry first, then said girl would have reacted like this.

    Speaking as somebody born around 25 years after the baby boom, I can tell you it hasn’t changed. Not that I know from personal experience, mind….

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#172): Heh, thanks. It is! ^_^

  195. Ratiocinator
    June 10th, 2013 at 3:06 pm [Reply]

    @odinthor (#191): Sounds good, as long as shows as good as the sadly departed “Dirty Jobs” weren’t included in the purge. (I’m honestly not sure whether that qualified as a reality show or not.)

  196. Lumaca Morente
    June 10th, 2013 at 3:20 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#192): You are preaching to the choir here. I’ve only seen ‘Reply All’ once or twice and I couldn’t believe it was for real – drawn on MS paint, you’ve got to be kidding.

  197. Lumaca Morente
    June 10th, 2013 at 3:22 pm [Reply]

    @Ratiocinator (#194): Sure, I’ll admit to liking Jump Start and I like the art in Edge City even if the characters are sort of loathesome. Also I remain a big Dilbert fan. And I even enjoy Blondie though I can’t explain why. It’s just iconic.

  198. Mikey
    June 10th, 2013 at 3:24 pm [Reply]

    A3G- “Your’e kidding right? Wear your Blue ‘Monica Lewinsky’ dress for when you get to the ball!”

  199. jim, some guy in iowa
    June 10th, 2013 at 3:25 pm [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#168): i was afraid you were going to say that

  200. Liam
    June 10th, 2013 at 3:29 pm [Reply]

    MW-And with a few words Mary has broke Elinor and reduced her to tears.

    MW 2-”Love has no limits.” The limit on love for me, according to the restraining order, is 50 yards.

    MW 3-”Or your daughter may suffer as a result. Now I’m not saying much but accidents can happen. Brakes on cars can suddenly give out.”

    MW 4-”Oh forgive me spirit. I shall honor love in my heart year round.”

  201. Shrug, Channelling Cunning Old Fury
    June 10th, 2013 at 3:33 pm [Reply]

    @Dale (#181):

    Mark Trail thinks Judge Dredd is a bleeding-heart sissy.

  202. sighing maiden, still sighing
    June 10th, 2013 at 3:34 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#200): 50? How’d you get 50? I always get 100.

  203. Droopy Says
    June 10th, 2013 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

    @odinthor (#191): Or, we could go for the “Toss ‘Funky Winkerbean’ off the bridge and into the river” solution.

  204. Shrug and the Tortoise
    June 10th, 2013 at 3:37 pm [Reply]

    @sighing maiden, still sighing (#202):

    Liam starts with 100 too, but generally gets it reduced to 50 after a period of good behavior. The question remains if the good behavior is really worth it, though.

  205. sighing maiden, still sighing
    June 10th, 2013 at 3:38 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug and the Tortoise (#204): Oh, so it’s you he’s stallking.

  206. Uncle Lumpy
    June 10th, 2013 at 3:45 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug and the Tortoise (#204):

    Liam starts with 100 too, but generally gets it reduced to 50 after a period of good behavior.

    So the reward for not-stalking compliance is a more rewarding stalking experience? I can get behind these incentives! Just not too close behind, I guess — for now.

  207. sighing maiden, still sighing
    June 10th, 2013 at 3:47 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#206): A really good telephoto lens can set you back quite a few.

  208. sighing maiden, still sighing
    June 10th, 2013 at 3:48 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#206): You can actually get a pretty good drone in a hobby shop for a couple hundred. I mean, I’ve heard that you can.

  209. Shrug and the Tortoise
    June 10th, 2013 at 3:56 pm [Reply]

    @sighing maiden, still sighing (#208):

    That’s what Queen Bee (of A3G) reported moments ago. And it’s going viral!

    ////Oh, *that* kind of drone. Never mind.

  210. sighing maiden, still sighing
    June 10th, 2013 at 3:58 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug and the Tortoise (#209): Is that a picture frame hanging around your neck, or are you just happy to see me?

  211. sighing maiden, still sighing
    June 10th, 2013 at 4:01 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug and the Tortoise (#209): I think you should stop getting those ROs on Liam. He is very witty and you seem to be very smart and very witty and I think you would have lovely children.
    //I know, I know, you are a man, right? But did Elinor let that stop her?

  212. Matt
    June 10th, 2013 at 4:03 pm [Reply]

    “You’re kidding, right?! Everyone knows that white doesn’t go with tiny, off-center faces!”

  213. Droopy Says
    June 10th, 2013 at 4:04 pm [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#203): Oh, darn, the EPA just told me to forget that solution.

  214. Fashion Police
    June 10th, 2013 at 4:07 pm [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#147):
    We suspect that none of those dresses were designed by Mr. Frank Bolle.

  215. Shrug and the Tortoise
    June 10th, 2013 at 4:07 pm [Reply]

    @sighing maiden, still sighing (#211):

    “I know, I know, you are a man, right?”

    I remember being so this morning (just happened to notice). I’m pretty sure the situation has not changed since then, but I don’t want to shock my coworkers by verifying.

    (What? I’m just referring to hogging the TV remote control, and refusing to ask directions when lost, of course! I can’t help what assumptions your over-heated imagination and filthy mind* came up with!)

    ///* Meant as a compliment, of course.

  216. Stantheman
    June 10th, 2013 at 4:08 pm [Reply]

    FW – “Christ, what an asshole.” Hey, it DOES work!

  217. Dale
    June 10th, 2013 at 4:09 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#190):

    SLYLOCK and his mouse are more intrusive than MARK TRAIL and his troll.
    Slylock walks in, invited or not. Mark kicks in doors and the troll climbs through window.

    However, Slylock deals in facts: Mark uses self-righteous assumptions.

  218. Chip Whittle
    June 10th, 2013 at 4:14 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#193):

    Fort Knox is drawn by someone who apparently knows basic draftsmanship and understands how human beings are put together, and intentionally chooses to make horrible, angular mockeries of life.

    I figured Paul Jon (its cartoonist) just liked the styling Bill Amend did for FoxTrot and…somehow hasn’t quite got Amend’s light touch.

    It might help if Jon had a second three-quarter profile shot to draw for each character.

  219. kingklash
    June 10th, 2013 at 4:36 pm [Reply]

    Somehow, the line “The Govener’s Ball is coming up, Luann.” makes me giggle.

  220. A New Day
    June 10th, 2013 at 4:47 pm [Reply]

    A3G: So Lu Ann’s dating the Governor of New York, and Margo’s dating James Bond. Why aren’t reporters constantly on their doorstep? I’m assuming it’s the Aura of Tommie, which makes even the paparazzi yawn, stretch, and go home to see what’s on television.

  221. Braniff
    June 10th, 2013 at 4:56 pm [Reply]

    FC: Billy do the daddys around the world a BIG favor for Father’s Day. Spare them your lousy drawings and your terrible puns. Better yet, spare them the Family Circus–period!

  222. LurkyMcLurkerson
    June 10th, 2013 at 5:23 pm [Reply]

    The lurking was very good today, thank you all.

  223. Droopy Says
    June 10th, 2013 at 5:30 pm [Reply]

    @Braniff (#221): Or at least add concentric circles inside the frame. FC has the makings of a fine if demanding dartboard.

  224. Damien
    June 10th, 2013 at 5:31 pm [Reply]

    “Do birds capable of flying over water even need boats?” – Well, how do you think they migrate?

  225. Calico
    June 10th, 2013 at 5:34 pm [Reply]

    @Herr Komerad Kommissar Denny (#2):
    But do they call her “Maurice”? LOL

  226. KreatureFeatures
    June 10th, 2013 at 5:35 pm [Reply]

    Gil Thorp: Wow, Marty Moon announces the score, runners on, calls out the infielders by name, describes the action in great detail as it happens, and then notes a school record has just been broken.

    Keeping in mind that high school baseball announcers are incredibly rare, here’s what the actual play call would sound like: “Double play … that’s the game.”

  227. Calico
    June 10th, 2013 at 5:39 pm [Reply]

    @Mikey (#198):
    I’m glad I’m not the only one who thought of that today.
    And in other news, Hillary now has a Twitter account! Hooray!

  228. walt d.
    June 10th, 2013 at 5:42 pm [Reply]

    @Acacia (#161): I’m not going to go for ending Dennis. It’s still my favorite. I definitely think GA should have been ended a couple decades ago There were some stories over the years that could show graphic novelists how it’s done. It’s a good solid strip that ran out of steam, and perhaps into bad hands. Something like JP on the other hand, seems to be a lot better than it used to be. Something like Hi and Lois may very well go another generation because it’s competently drawn, mildly funny, and inoffensive. Yet, every day that BB (out of the same cartoon mill) has survived past 1962 will forever be a mystery. Dilbert is the same joke every day, but Scott Adams said that it succeeds because everyone thinks it’s around the people above them.

    Anyway, everyone has their own ideas about which strips are crap. As long as I have the Internet, and as long as MW stays off my comic pages, I’ll get along.

  229. walt d.
    June 10th, 2013 at 5:45 pm [Reply]

    @walt d. (#228): ABOUT the people above them. (Gotta do the preview more than once!)

  230. Calico
    June 10th, 2013 at 5:46 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#176):
    Meh.
    It seems rather depressing, and the artwork is a bit like the Groening crew, but with harsher angles. (FTR, I like MG’s work, esp. the earlier stuff with Binky, Akbar and Jeff, etc.)
    I don’t think I’ll be reading this strip.

  231. The Ridger
    June 10th, 2013 at 5:47 pm [Reply]

    @Ratiocinator (#194): I don’t think I ever said so, but I too have stopped reading Pibgorn, which I never read before this site.

  232. Liam
    June 10th, 2013 at 5:53 pm [Reply]

    A3G-”You’re kidding right? I plan on spending an obscene amount of the taxpayer’s money so you can look spectacular.”

  233. Poteet
    June 10th, 2013 at 5:58 pm [Reply]

  234. Poteet
    June 10th, 2013 at 6:05 pm [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#231): I couldn’t deal with Pibgorn any longer either, so I quit about a year ago. For me, it’s better to occasionally wonder what the comments are referring to than visit the site and *shudder* find out.

  235. Poteet
    June 10th, 2013 at 6:12 pm [Reply]

    A3G — I wonder what those mean NY political blogs are saying. “Rumor has it that our governor is currently dating a young woman who has all the poise, sophistication, and worldly wisdom of Ariel in THE LITTLE MERMAID.”

  236. Zerowolf
    June 10th, 2013 at 6:15 pm [Reply]

  237. Poteet
    June 10th, 2013 at 6:17 pm [Reply]

    A & J — That line is supposed to begin “As God is my witness.” So here we have yet another example of the kind of epidemic conjunction misuse that is slowly driving me mad.

  238. Old Folkie
    June 10th, 2013 at 6:19 pm [Reply]

    @Ratiocinator (#194): I stopped reading Bigporn months ago. It was either that or start taking Zoloft…

  239. Zerowolf
    June 10th, 2013 at 6:21 pm [Reply]

    RMMD: Just who does Sarah think she is, a Parker-Spencer-Driver?

  240. Uncle Lumpy
    June 10th, 2013 at 6:21 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#237):

    I can see you’re really upset around that.

  241. Zerowolf
    June 10th, 2013 at 6:22 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#235): And the brains of Dory from Finding Nemo!

  242. bats :[
    June 10th, 2013 at 6:23 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#237): I’m not so concerned with conjugation misuse, because I think Arlo is trying to quote Miss Scarlett O’Hara. Unfortunately, her quote indeed begins: As God as my witness…
    Oh, Arlo. I am so disappointed. Send in Ludwig for solace.

  243. Zerowolf
    June 10th, 2013 at 6:26 pm [Reply]

    JP: Whips out checkbook and buys the cruise ship. Now we are going to Acapulco.

  244. Zerowolf
    June 10th, 2013 at 6:29 pm [Reply]

    FC: Nice try Jeff Keane, but we all know you spend January repurposing a years worth of your father’s old strips and then spend the next 11 months poolside.

  245. Zerowolf
    June 10th, 2013 at 6:31 pm [Reply]

    @Marc (#19): WOLVES!

  246. tallyHO
    June 10th, 2013 at 6:34 pm [Reply]

    The Key To Understanding Today’s “Shoe”:

    Both of those newspaper birds are three sheets to the wind.

    That’s all you need to know.

    Later, each will blame “sea sickness” for why they have a projectile vomiting contest to see who can hit the empty, inflatable pool near the tree. If they were “Fair And Balanced” and not Blind Drunk and Wobbly-Kneed then they would be honest and blame their voluminous vomiting how the after effects of when they simultaneously exclaimed: ‘Vini, Vidi, Vici!’ when they found the case of vodka and after each made a dent in more than one bottle of that cheap booze called “Early Bird Vodka”

    // That brand of vodka should not be confused with the best selling booze from the maker of “Madruga Tequila” —which actually includes a worm–and which produces a lot of regretful binge drinkers.

  247. Uncle Lumpy
    June 10th, 2013 at 7:28 pm [Reply]

    @Zerowolf (#243):

    Whips out checkbook and buys the cruise ship. Now we are going to Acapulco.

    “Oh, I beg your pardon, sir — for a moment there, I didn’t realize you were Judge Alan Parker! Won’t you please accept this cruise ship by way of my most sincere apology?”

  248. Nehemiah Scudder, Living in the Past
    June 10th, 2013 at 8:05 pm [Reply]

    If you haven’t seen today’s Google doodle honoring Maurice Sendak’s 85th, do check it out. Very groovy.

  249. Alison
    June 10th, 2013 at 8:08 pm [Reply]

    “Family Circus”: Mommy’s watching her figure? Judging by Little Billy’s drawing, Mommy has a three-inch waist, so I don’t think she needs to worry about gaining weight right now.

    “Rex Morgan”: REAL WORLD: “Honey, those are nice pictures, but writing books is for grown-ups. I’m sure you’ll write a book when you get big. Run along now.” ‘REX MORGAN’ WORLD: “I’ll pay you $100,000 for that book! Oh, and I’ll also give you a new car, just for the heck of it. You can drive it in ten years or so. Also, would you like a pony? I’ll give you a pony too.”

  250. seismic-2
    June 10th, 2013 at 8:32 pm [Reply]

    RMMD: Little Sawah Morgan is about to become a published author and artist! Of course, it helps a lot that this is the Mills Gallery, where Lu Ann Powers is regarded as an art expert.

  251. Sequitur
    June 10th, 2013 at 8:33 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#246):

    Oh, “binge” drinkers. I first read it and I thought you wrote “bilge” drinkers and about got sick thinking of people in the bottom of a boat drinking the water that sloshes around down there.

    I’ve got to stop binge drinking and get myself a bilge pump.

  252. Viscount Bilgewater
    June 10th, 2013 at 8:52 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#251): What what? What.

  253. Viscountess Bilgewater
    June 10th, 2013 at 8:54 pm [Reply]

    well, I NEVER!!!

  254. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    June 10th, 2013 at 8:57 pm [Reply]

  255. Viscount Bilgewater
    June 10th, 2013 at 9:01 pm [Reply]

    @Viscountess Bilgewater (#253): Goo goo cluster, my dear?

  256. Sequitur
    June 10th, 2013 at 9:05 pm [Reply]

    @Viscountess Bilgewater (#253):

    Sure you have. Everybody has.

  257. Sequitur
    June 10th, 2013 at 9:06 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#254):

    ACK! THEY’RE LOOKING INTO MY SOUL!

  258. AhClem
    June 10th, 2013 at 9:08 pm [Reply]

    @KreatureFeatures (#226): Marty Moon has locker room photos of all the members of the boy’s baseball team pasted up on the walls of his trailer. And like Liam, his RO is 50 yards as well.

  259. I speak Jive
    June 10th, 2013 at 9:09 pm [Reply]

    Rex Morgan – Any second now Sarah’s pupils will start glowing, and the museum lady will walk into traffic.

    Funky Winkerbean – I thought it was very odd that Summer asked what was happening “while I was gone.” Her step-sister and roommate Cayla Jr. is right there beside her, was away at the same time as Summer, and is riding along home to the home where they both live. Why didn’t she ask “while WE were gone?” Is Summer that self-absorbed? Or is Summer – being Les’ offspring – the only one who matters?

  260. Zla'od
    June 10th, 2013 at 9:10 pm [Reply]

    A3G: It’s funny because Gov. Peter doesn’t believe Lu Ann is a virgin.

  261. Nehemiah Scudder
    June 10th, 2013 at 9:18 pm [Reply]

    @Zla’od (#260): Well, she was married, after all, to Sergeant Colonel Whats-his-face, late of the Army Air Force Coast Guard Reserve, now residing in Arlington Nat. Cem., right?

  262. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    June 10th, 2013 at 9:23 pm [Reply]

    @I speak Jive (#259): o dear.

    I had this vision of Sarah firing off the Omega Effect.

    *so cold*

    *shudders*

  263. Artist formerly known as Ben
    June 10th, 2013 at 9:24 pm [Reply]

    H-Cliff: Somewhere in America there’s a town where faceless ice cream men rub their vendors on shedding cats. Good luck getting to sleep.

    A3G: “We can’t go to the ball wearing the same thing! How would that look?”

    MT: Look at them, trying to look all innocent. You’re not fooling anybody, deer!

    WofI: “When an egg-man falls off a wall I want to see shell and yolk splattered everywhere, dammit!”

    C-Shaft: Crankshaft’s coworker is nice to limit his response to sarcasm. As soon as Fast Ed said the words “roids” I would have gut punched him.

    Crock: “Sneak into a size six” is not a thing that people say, so it was thoughtful of Grossie to give her frenemy that set-up.

    RMMD: “It’s a very nice gift shop. We wouldn’t want anything to happen to it, now would we?”

    GA: It’ll probably be slightly less traumatic to watch Slim eat than it would be to see him masturbate.

    BB: As you might guess, Beetle is too lazy to even be a good bottom.

    Blondie: How Dagwood learned to stop worrying and love the Panopticon.

    FC: Watching her figure? Hell, mommy needs to get some kind of bracing so her top half doesn’t fall off.

    Momma: “Conveniently enough, they’re all walking in a row like undead ducklings right now.”

    S-M: If anything, Kingpin and his moldy LifeCall medic alert joke are too hip for the room.

    S4th: Hil’s so exasperating she’s bleached Nona’s hair.

  264. carbunicle
    June 10th, 2013 at 9:25 pm [Reply]

    Is Snuffy wearing crocs(TM). How backwards are they?

  265. Sequitur
    June 10th, 2013 at 9:30 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#261):

    Yes, but was the marriage consummated?

    Or is that constipated? I always get the two confused.

    //And my wife doesn’t think that’s funny either.

  266. Artist formerly known as Ben
    June 10th, 2013 at 9:31 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder, Living in the Past (#248): Very groovy indeed. I was tickled when I got home and was able to check out the whole animation.

  267. Artist formerly known as Ben
    June 10th, 2013 at 9:34 pm [Reply]

    @Mikey (#198):

    A3G- “Your’e kidding right? Wear your Blue ‘Monica Lewinsky’ dress for when you get to the ball!”

    I think you’re missing an “s” at the end of that sentence. Or is Governor Peter a Johnny One-Nut?

  268. Salamence
    June 10th, 2013 at 9:43 pm [Reply]

    So, while the rest of the Pearls cast is behind bars, Goat fubars a joke and is now barred from reading the Bard in a bar.

    And now Rat’s going to hit me with a crowbar for saying that.

  269. Nehemiah Scudder
    June 10th, 2013 at 9:45 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#265): …was the marriage consummated?

    Aye. There’s the rub. I probably won’t be able to sleep tonight, worrying about it.

  270. seismic-2
    June 10th, 2013 at 9:52 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#251): I have a bottle of 16-year-old 115-proof Captain Angus’ Peatbog Bilgewater Scotch here on the shelf. The aroma of turpentine and diesel fuel is perhaps a bit stronger than most people normally expect in a bottle of fine whisky, but I keep it around to serve to those guests who prefer something that tastes a lot milder than Ardbeg or Laphroaig.

  271. Nehemiah Scudder
    June 10th, 2013 at 9:58 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#270): You must have the same supplier as TGI Fridays in New Jersey.

  272. Poteet
    June 10th, 2013 at 10:02 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#242): Perhaps Jimmy Johnson had Arlo misquote Miz Scarlett on purpose, because misquoting movies is common. But that still means Oh, Arlo.

  273. Poteet
    June 10th, 2013 at 10:04 pm [Reply]

  274. Nehemiah Scudder
    June 10th, 2013 at 10:12 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#272): Misquotation is the parole of literary men all over the world. — Albert Camus

  275. Poteet
    June 10th, 2013 at 10:18 pm [Reply]

    @Zerowolf (#241): HAR!! YES! And come to think of it, whom would you rather take to a ball, Dory or Lu Ann? For me, the fish would win. For one thing, she would keep the same appearance from frame to frame.

  276. Poteet
    June 10th, 2013 at 10:20 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#274): Dang. His real quotations are more interesting than the fake ones.

  277. Nehemiah Scudder
    June 10th, 2013 at 10:24 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#276): Um. Yes. Sure. Rem acu tetigisti.

  278. Sequitur
    June 10th, 2013 at 10:40 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#277):

    Sic transit gloria mundi.

  279. Der Schnärkïnätör mit Ümläütën!
    June 10th, 2013 at 10:46 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#78):

    Re Pigporn: Excellant summary, but now my brain hurts again!

  280. Der Schnärkïnätör mit Ümläütën!
    June 10th, 2013 at 10:48 pm [Reply]

    @Der Schnärkïnätör mit Ümläütën! (#279):

    “Excellent”, not “Excellant”…..did I mention that my brain is in pain?

  281. Sequitur
    June 10th, 2013 at 10:49 pm [Reply]

    Requiescere forte somniare.

  282. Nehemiah Scudder
    June 10th, 2013 at 11:01 pm [Reply]

    Ode to Brainyquotes.com (for Mary Worth)

    I do not know what I would do,
    If I could not misquote A. Camus.
    Indeed, I’d just tear out my hair,
    If I could not misquote Albert.

    Misquoting is cool,
    Misquoting is fine,
    I love to misquote
    Albert Einstein.

    I say the things they should have said,
    Or would have said, were they not dead,
    Misquoting Jesus, misquoting Marx,
    Or Kierkegard, or Rosa Parks!

    Misquoting is dandy,
    Need I explain?
    Who can resist,
    Misquoting Mark Twain?

    So throw out your Bartletts,
    And all those dead trees,
    Ignore Wikiquotes:
    Brainyquotes is bogus, and free!

  283. Nehemiah Scudder
    June 10th, 2013 at 11:05 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#281): Yes, but can you tell a hawk from a handsaw?

  284. Sequitur
    June 10th, 2013 at 11:05 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#282):

    I never met a man I didn’t lick.
    ~Will Rogers

    // Now, to bed.

  285. bats :[
    June 10th, 2013 at 11:08 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#254): and big ketteh pinkie nose, too! BOOP!

  286. Der Schnärkïnätör mit Ümläütën!
    June 10th, 2013 at 11:09 pm [Reply]

    @Amos Snarkadder (#88):

    “Yes, it has been a real let down. Elinor caved in way too soon.”

    Agreed!

    “She’s no Nola Wolverson! I fear we may never see the likes of her again.”

    I am intrigued! Please elucidate!

  287. bats :[
    June 10th, 2013 at 11:09 pm [Reply]

  288. Der Schnärkïnätör mit Ümläütën!
    June 10th, 2013 at 11:11 pm [Reply]

    @Der Schnärkïnätör mit Ümläütën! (#286):

    BTW, I seem to have misplaced my Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator. Has anybody seen it?

  289. Borborygmy
    June 10th, 2013 at 11:31 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#283): I can tell a hawkshaw from a handmaiden, DC or AC.

  290. Droopy Says
    June 10th, 2013 at 11:53 pm [Reply]

    The Astute Spiderman: Too bad Kingpin didn’t punch some adamantium. It would have crumbled to dust, unlike that newfangled steel stuff.

    Funky’s Flunkies: Which “he” is here, Fishface? This is no time for unadorned pronouns! Is “he” supposed to be a surprise? Okay, please let “he” be John Darling, returned from the grave and possessed by a powerful, malevolent demon who will lay waste to Tumor Town.

    Family Circs: Generating that fake child-style art probably took more effort than the usual offering, which seems a fitting punishment for the artist perpetrator.

    Flatulence Alley: I’ve got to stop reading this crap. Every time I see that idiot with his tongue sticking out, I want to punch him in the jaw.

    Phantom: Um, no. “Astra” is Greek, not Latin, and “ad” takes the accusative, so you want “astras,” although it would make more sense to use the Latin word for stars, “stellas.” “We go” is, like it or not, “imus,” whereas “itur” is (aside from being third person singular) a form of a deponent verb for “to go”, (ito, itare), as in “he goes.” Or maybe it’s “itur” as in the passive form of eo, ire, ii, itus, which would make it “he was sent.” Anyway, Ghost-Who-Jumps-To-Wacky-Conclusions, you don’t get to the stars via balloon.

    Mark Trail: Rusty made a box? It worked out, but when you consider Trail’s cavalier attitude toward safety, was it a good idea to let accident-prone Rusty play with sharp and heavy objects?

    Pluggers: Now we know why Plugger-constructed buildings always look like something Billy Keane might draw. Pluggers gave up on book-larnin’ right away.

  291. commodorejohn
    June 11th, 2013 at 12:08 am [Reply]

    @Borborygmy (#289): But can you tell a hawkmaiden from a handsaw?

  292. jim, some guy in iowa
    June 11th, 2013 at 12:09 am [Reply]

    okay, if kingpin is solid muscle, how come… oh, never mind. i don’t even wonder why his hand is so freaking huge. “forget it, jim – it’s spiderman”

    “fw” – summer’s a girl, right? odd batiuk doesn’t feel the need to tell us that over & over

    rex morgan & judge parker – what’s the deal with these incredibly gifted amateurs who succeed simply by showing up? isn’t it enough they have good looks and more money than god? is the writer trying to instill inferiority complexes in his readers? if so, thank dog for mary worth, because no matter how bad my day might get, at least i’m not a character in *that* strip

  293. Poteet
    June 11th, 2013 at 12:09 am [Reply]

    MT — Oh great, now we have to try to figure out Elinor’s dreams, keeping in mind that characters in MW frequently grasp their cheeks for reasons unknown.

  294. Poteet
    June 11th, 2013 at 12:10 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#293): The cheeks on their faces, I mean. Yes. On their faces.

  295. Borborygmy
    June 11th, 2013 at 12:42 am [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#291): Rats! Failed the Turing test! Again!

  296. Nehemiah Scudder, Living in the Past
    June 11th, 2013 at 12:45 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#290): Romani ite domum!

  297. Gladly, the cross-eyed bear
    June 11th, 2013 at 12:47 am [Reply]

    FW: “Your father, John Darling, the TV personality.” What, the information that he was killed isn’t important enough to be included?

    Rex: “I have personally watched each painting being created,” to be fair, is only slightly more repellant than “Can you verify that this is all original work?” Still, the sooner something terrible happens to these people, the better.

    Judge: Randy and April are not accustomed to having their plans thwarted by people who are clearly not white.

  298. Uncle Lumpy
    June 11th, 2013 at 12:48 am [Reply]

    Sherpa update: our intrepid Sherpa has reached March, 2006: Margo feuds with Scott Gaines, their Big Gay Golf Game ends with Rex and Troy chowin’ down on weiners, and pre-jump high-school-age Darin sells band candy.

  299. Ian
    June 11th, 2013 at 12:50 am [Reply]

    Bigfoot or no, looks like Cuzzin Irvin is sporting a sixth toe in that final panel.

  300. Nehemiah Scudder, Living in the Past
    June 11th, 2013 at 12:54 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#290): Astrum is a perfectly cromulent Latin word (though it is derived from the Greek). Cicero and Vergil used it.

    // Cromulent is not a word, and I despise anyone who uses it.

  301. bats :[
    June 11th, 2013 at 12:59 am [Reply]

  302. Droopy Says
    June 11th, 2013 at 1:26 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder, Living in the Past (#300): Okay. It’s been a long time since high school Latin (the language was moribund at the time, but not fully dead). The Ghost-Who-Is-Lee-Falk gets points for getting close to what he wanted to say–but what if Guran flunked Latin and has misinterpreted it? The strip could spend at least six weeks thinking the dead aeronaut was an alien, when in fact he was abducted by aliens who utilize Kepler’s Somnium-class technology

  303. Nehemiah Scudder, Living in the Past
    June 11th, 2013 at 1:47 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#302): From Wikipedia. “Sic itur ad astra” (“thus one goes to the stars”) is from Virgil’s Aeneid (book IX, line 641). It is the motto of

    Detroit, Michigan public schools
    Richmond, Virginia (city)
    St. Andrew’s Scots School, Buenos Aires, Argentina
    Universidad de San Andrés, Buenos Aires province, Argentina (daughter institution of St. Andrew’s Scots School)
    The Geelong College, Australia
    The Philomathean Society of the University of Pennsylvania
    Canadian Forces Air Command
    Colombian Air Force
    Alice Smith School, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia
    Jean-Pierre Blanchard the first human to cross the English channel, by air.
    The Priory LSST Academy, Lincoln, UK
    The former Llandysul Grammar School, Llandysul, Cymru
    Sicituradastra.[1] An International BOINC team.
    The former St. Patrick’s College, Tuam, Co. Galway, Ireland
    Royal Canadian Air Force
    Falcon College, Zimbabwe

    // If it is good enough for the Royal Canadian Air Force…

  304. Nehemiah Scudder, Living in the Past
    June 11th, 2013 at 1:50 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder, Living in the Past (#303): So that’s my take. The kid’s a WWI Canadian aeronaut… time warp… yadda yadda yadda… wormhole… y.y.y..

  305. Nehemiah Scudder, Living in the Past
    June 11th, 2013 at 1:51 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder, Living in the Past (#304): Or a really freaky graduate of the Detroit Public School System…

  306. Dale
    June 11th, 2013 at 2:05 am [Reply]

    GIL THORP

    It’s understandable that Darby doesn’t hang out at The Bucket with all the regular kids, who all must have HUGE allowances.

    Why does she agree to meet Knox at the coffee place, if she doesn’t want to have anything to do with him? They do have phones.

  307. Droopy Says
    June 11th, 2013 at 4:46 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder, Living in the Past (#305): If Vergil said it, then it’s better Latin than I remember from high school. I am just not used to seeing Ghost-Who-Falks get things right.

  308. gleeb
    June 11th, 2013 at 5:03 am [Reply]

    ‘bean: All Ann could do was smirk. For she realized her grandchild would be the spawn of Ed Crankshaft, the Scourge of Heaven, and heir to his hideous legacy. Y’know, up to a point the repetition and general incestuousness of Cancerdeathville is funny. Then it just gets awful. But then, it’s funny again. We’re not quite to the last part yet.

    H&L: Embracing gizmoes. THAT’S why Foofram is on top of the game and Hi is just a desk-jockey.

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