The Comics Curmudgeon

98 responses to “Tonight on Cinemax: Cherry Trail stars in A Woman’s Needs”

1. Naked Bunny with a Whip
   January 5th, 2009 at 5:37 pm [Reply]

   Mark’s fist will desperately want to pop that pink, needy Cherry, but his loins will shrivel at the idea.

2. Lurker
   January 5th, 2009 at 5:37 pm [Reply]

   Unlurking to say that the first thing I thought of when I read MT today was Boy, is Josh going to have fun with this one!

3. Meanwhile
   January 5th, 2009 at 5:39 pm [Reply]

   I think it’s sad that the only people who are concerned about the details of Marks arrival are the owl and the Elrod disk. While they discuss who is to pick up Mark from the airport, Cherry natters away about an imaginary haircut. No wonder Mark likes animals better than people.

4. Esther Blodgett
   January 5th, 2009 at 5:47 pm [Reply]

   Damn kids with their iPhones and their iPods and their iDontgiveacraps. Stay in the Army, Beetle, where the most complex piece of technology you have to deal with is the condom machine in the men’s room of the PX!

5. Uncle Lumpy
   January 5th, 2009 at 5:49 pm [Reply]

   Since Beetle’s wearing Jughead’s “Riverdale” shirt, it must be Beetle’s “Swampy” shirt we always see on Jughead.

6. Aitherion
   January 5th, 2009 at 5:50 pm [Reply]

   Beetle has apparently joined Team Rocket.

7. Comrade Denny
   January 5th, 2009 at 5:53 pm [Reply]

   MW: Wasn’t there a door to the left of the dresser in Panel 1? It seems to have moved by Panel 2, perhaps to avoid the shock waves rippling through the air as Lynn turns to punch her dad in the nuts.

   Meanwhile, I love Frank’s expression in Panel 2. It’s as if he’s about to say, “Lynne? … Did you just fart? NAAAAAASSSSTY!”

8. dd
   January 5th, 2009 at 5:53 pm [Reply]

   I liked the head-spinning action in MW today, myself.

9. Uncle Balustrade
   January 5th, 2009 at 5:54 pm [Reply]

   I enjoyed the metaphysical description of the final panel of “Crock”. I figured that he had merely sneezed his teeth down the well.

10. Annon
    January 5th, 2009 at 5:54 pm [Reply]

    MT Nice perm, Cherry. Who did it? Shirley Booth from Hazel?

    Crock Josh, from your lips to God’s ears.

11. Lorem Ipsum
    January 5th, 2009 at 5:57 pm [Reply]

    MT: Give me an Orange juice pronto, because Bing Crosby just came back to life. Hope he doesn’t beat Cherry with that pipe before Mark gets home.

12. Muddtallica
    January 5th, 2009 at 5:57 pm [Reply]

    #6 Aitherion – Good spot.

    “Prepare for hoary, antiquated and painfully sanitised non-humour!”
    “And make it double!”

13. sitnquiet
    January 5th, 2009 at 5:57 pm [Reply]

    And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Smile of Figowitz moved upon the face of the waters.

14. dyslexic dog
    January 5th, 2009 at 6:01 pm [Reply]

    Grossie: What happened to your teeth?
    Figowitz: I whitened them.
    Maggot: Really?
    Figowitz: Yeah, what… what do you think?
    Grossie: Well, uh, I think I shouldn’t look directly at them.
    Figowitz: Come on, seriously.
    Grossie: Figowitz, they’re really, really, really white!
    Maggot: Yeah, what was wrong with your old… human teeth?
    Figowitz: Well, I did leave the gel on a little longer than it said to.
    Grossie: How much longer?
    Figowitz: Uh, uh…. a day.

15. PeteMoss
    January 5th, 2009 at 6:04 pm [Reply]

    Beetle can be shot for desertion, can’t he? If only he’d enlisted in the Crock Foreign Legion, instead. Then he’d only be facing the possibility of non-existence.

16. Bookworm
    January 5th, 2009 at 6:04 pm [Reply]

    Unrelated to today’s post, but still possibly interesting – the front page of today’s Mobile Press Register. The whole story is here.

17. One-eyed Wolfdog
    January 5th, 2009 at 6:09 pm [Reply]

    Yeah, I was just going to go with “Crock: It sucks (LOL)”, but also what Josh said.

18. Baka Gaijin
    January 5th, 2009 at 6:10 pm [Reply]

    Josh, yesterthread: Thought ballooning! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha HA! I can see Eva Gabor tossing Hooterville rutabagas from Mr. Haney’s thought balloon. Ha HA! I think the pills are kicking in now.

19. AsleepOrDead
    January 5th, 2009 at 6:10 pm [Reply]

    So, I’ve been gone for about 2 weeks while Galuaboy, Mrs. Galuaboy, bagmarkedswag and I went on vacation. I come back to find I can pick up with most of the story lines . . . then I hit Phantom. People are shooting at two creatures from the Black Lagoon. Um, what the fuck? I guess that teaches me not to go anywhere without my computer ever again.

20. migellito
    January 5th, 2009 at 6:11 pm [Reply]

    Cool, the guy from Crock should join a solipsist group. Er.. never mind.

21. Comrade Denny
    January 5th, 2009 at 6:13 pm [Reply]

    BB: I’d say Beetle Bailey is about to retcon himself back to college, but without a third panel explicitly saying so I can’t be certain.

22. These Strange Worlds
    January 5th, 2009 at 6:13 pm [Reply]

    BB and plea to JOSH

    I solemnly swear that I will buy at least one “Camp Swampy Chrono-Retardation Corps” t-shirt. And most likely the mouse pad and mug too.

    I no longer pine for the Jungle Patrol. it’s the Chrono-Retardation Corps for me!!

23. Baka Gaijin
    January 5th, 2009 at 6:14 pm [Reply]

    Sally Forth: Ted you fragile-wristed bitch, get out of the express lane at the Kroger. Some of us have lives to live. These Doritos and Twinkees won’t eat themselves you know.

24. UncleJeff
    January 5th, 2009 at 6:15 pm [Reply]

    BB — Maybe the Walkers are going to turn this into a soul-searching adventure for Beetle. Where he actually visits wounded soldiers in hospitals looking for justification of his existence. Or talking with high school students pressured by the poor economy and the cost of college tuition into considering careers in the military. Or maybe traveling to Washington to make a plea to the President-elect to settle the conflicts in Iraq and Afghanistan “one way or another.”
    Or maybe he’s just off on leave to sponge off his sister Lois in H&L for a few days.
    Whatever.

25. PeteMoss
    January 5th, 2009 at 6:16 pm [Reply]

    “I hope he notices that I’ve changed my hair again!” What does Cherry mean? Is this change one of serveral? Was Mark able to notice the last time she changed it and she’s hoping he’ll do that again? Even if he doesn’t notice, it is a lovely ‘do – nice and big.

26. These Strange Worlds
    January 5th, 2009 at 6:20 pm [Reply]

    I checked the math and it turns out that Beetle Bailey is an inevitable consequence of comicdom reality. The blog’s character set limitations preclude sharing a definitive proof, but it basically comes down to this:

    “For Better or for Worse skipped back in time” and “Funky Winkerbean” skipped forward in time. “Beetle Bailey” must therefore equalize the equation by being completely stuck in time.

    Oh yeah, and the anachronistic Gizmo represents Plank’s Constant.

27. Comrade Denny
    January 5th, 2009 at 6:20 pm [Reply]

    MT: You know, we’re all assuming Cherry’s talking about hair on her head and not the, ehrm, hair “down there.” Maybe she’s gone Brazillian.

28. Lotsa Beer inda Pot
    January 5th, 2009 at 6:22 pm [Reply]

    Beetle: A black blanket and a black sidewalk. Who colorized this thing anyway, these guys?

29. These Strange Worlds
    January 5th, 2009 at 6:22 pm [Reply]

    25 MT & Cherry’s hair

    Everyone seems to be thinking she has a new stylist or something. How do we know she’s talking about her haircut. Maybe the hair she’s talking about is someplace entirely different. Maybe the new style is a new SHAVE.

    Bwaa ha ha

30. Li’l Bunnë FooFoo
    January 5th, 2009 at 6:22 pm [Reply]

    BB: Would it not be completely wild if this meant that Beetle Bailey was leaving the army and this whole 58-year army episode was over? Oo, and maybe those two chicks are still waiting for him!

    I am so pulling for BB to do something interesting! Why am I setting myself up for disappointment? That last “interesting” thing they did was add a Japanese-American character, so they could temper the sexism with a little good old fashioned racism.

31. Baka Gaijin
    January 5th, 2009 at 6:24 pm [Reply]

    Mary Worth: I served with Mark Trail: I knew Mark Trail; Mark Trail was a friend of mine. Lynn, you’re no Mark Trail. Ball up your tiny fists all you want, you just can’t hit your father. He has no beard you can slug off his face. How about go outside and punch a squirrel?

32. These Strange Worlds
    January 5th, 2009 at 6:24 pm [Reply]

    27. Comrade Denny

    Oh my. Some ideas are so good that they are discovered simultaniously. CD is just two minutes faster typing than me.

    If only I hadn’t paused to wash my memory out with soap.

33. PeteMoss
    January 5th, 2009 at 6:25 pm [Reply]

    Comrade Denny @ 27
    Yeah, I was wondering if the carpet matched the drapes. Seriously, does that honeycomb cabin of theirs even have carpet or drapes? Would a bare, wood floor with a single, narrow throw rug constitute a brazillian?

    Exactly how many zeros are there in a brazillian?

34. Cap\'ette Crunch
    January 5th, 2009 at 6:25 pm [Reply]

    This is the way the world ends
    This is the way the world ends
    This is the way the world ends

    Not with a bang
    But a smile

35. Comrade Denny
    January 5th, 2009 at 6:26 pm [Reply]

    #29 – These Strange Worlds

    Great minds, and all that, eh? Still, whether Cherry’’s gone Brazilian or opted for the landing strip, Mark won’t notice changes in something he’s never seen. It seems that Cherry woefully misunderstood Mark’s personal ad when he expressed a fondness for beaver.

36. One-eyed Wolfdog
    January 5th, 2009 at 6:36 pm [Reply]

    “Carpets” and “drapes”? I don’t think you’re supposed to pile the drapes up in a big rumpled wad on top of the curtain rod.

37. One-eyed Wolfdog
    January 5th, 2009 at 6:37 pm [Reply]

    (Possibly I just never got the hang of that metaphor.)

38. Robert
    January 5th, 2009 at 6:43 pm [Reply]

    Beetle leaving Camp Swampy and Crock ceasing to exist will make them easier to chain to a log.

    On another unrelated comic tangent, the local newspaper dumped Ziggy and Cathy for Pearls Before Swine and… something else. Doesn’t matter. All that matters is they picked up PBS.

39. Jamus The Bartender
    January 5th, 2009 at 6:48 pm [Reply]

    Tales Of Goldberg’s
    Violet’s Problem

    I was working the afternoon shift at Goldberg’s. The place was nearly empty. A young man in a turned up hat and twenties college sweater, who I later found out was Beetle Bailey in civvies was debating leaving the army and looking for work. I had to turn him down gently. Grandma Keane was pounding back boilermakers while awating the results of her MRI.
    And Henry Mitchell wrenched his back while shovelling Ruff a place to pee.
    Then she walked in. All five foot nothing of the restrained passion that is Violet Chihuahua.
    I smiled as she sat down, and asked her if there was anything she wanted. There usually was.
    ” Jamus, we’ve got to talk…..” she said as she wound a cocktail napkin in her hands. ” I got some bad news…”
    Oh, shit. Shit, shit, shit. Well, it was bound to happen. Rubber breaks sometimes, after all. I sort of figured that Cassandra would be the one enciente, as the Spanish say….
    ” My dad threatened to cut me off financially if I marry Rex Doberman.”
    I let out a visible sigh of relief, which visibly irritated Vi, but she went on. ” I think it’s a test to see if Rex really loves me….so my point is this. We can’t see each other anymore.”
    I nodded. ” That’s gonna be a problem. Unless you’re not coming in here anymore, i’m seeing you right now.” I smirked.
    “You know what I mean….we can’t….”
    ” Make fabulous love anymore?” I grinned.
    Violet grinned in spite of herself. “Yes….Jamus, this is very important….I don’t regret anything we did…” Yeah. Sure. ” …but, it’s got to stop. Right now.”
    I wiped down the bar again, nodding. ” I understand. Rex is important to you. And you two want to get married. You deserve to be happy.” I smiled.
    Violet nodded, then dabbed her eye with her napkin. ” Thank you Jamus. I knew you’d understand.” She looked into my eyes. “After all, you….well, you sort of have Cassandra and I…..well, I have Rex.”
    I nodded. “Rex must love you very much.” I said pointedly.
    She leaned in a little. ” I think it’s a test from my father to see how much he loves me. So. I’ve gotta be good too.”
    ” I understand completely. I’ll do all I can to help you.”
    Violet looked around the bar. “So. Where’s Cassandra?”
    ” Out of the country on a job.”
    ************************************************************
    ” Okay, Jamus, that was definitely the last time…” a naked VIolet said to me as she was padding around the room looking for her clothes while I was watching the news, watching the economy disintegrate minute by minute. ” I was as responsible as you are….but that was the last time. I’ve got dinner with Rex in two hours at the Pug Dog…”
    ” The Pug Dog is a block away..” I said pointedly, walking behind her, running my hand up and down her back, kissing the nape of her neck.
    “Well…..I can stay a little longer…” VIolet said as she pressed into me, her hands exploring thouroughly, and a little too tight in some places…..
    Fin

40. Lorem Ipsum
    January 5th, 2009 at 6:51 pm [Reply]

    Another metaphor I have heard is “Collar matching the cuffs”.

41. Spunky N. Tadpole
    January 5th, 2009 at 6:52 pm [Reply]

    @ #37 – 1-EW:

    Don’t worry: you got the metaphor (#36) down just fine…

42. LurkNoLonger
    January 5th, 2009 at 6:59 pm [Reply]

    I really do not get the whole wearing flip-flops in winter thing. I see kids walking around campus like that all year round, what gives???

43. Lorem Ipsum
    January 5th, 2009 at 7:10 pm [Reply]

    @42-these are the same kids, who if given a chance, will let you know in some small, but meaningful way, that they are so much smarter than you.

44. Quotemarx
    January 5th, 2009 at 7:13 pm [Reply]

    Our memories of ever having read what?

45. gnome de blog
    January 5th, 2009 at 7:15 pm [Reply]

    Imagine…Beetle on campus, the jive ‘51 hep-cat in a world three generations beyond Elvis, drawn by an octogenarian who has never spoken to anyone born after 1950. There’s is potential for some wild funny there. I hope Walker/Browne, Ltd. can grope around in the dark long enough to find it.

46. thatquietkid
    January 5th, 2009 at 7:17 pm [Reply]

    In the midst of depression, Lynn becomes a human thesaurus.

47. Joe Blevins
    January 5th, 2009 at 7:17 pm [Reply]

    Re: #30 Li’l Bunnë FooFoo

    I was thinking the same thing. It would be actually kind of awesome if this strip were actually the start of a story arc and not just a lame one-off gag that is never mentioned again. I don’t see what Beetle Bailey would have to lose by experimenting with a long-form narrative. It’s remained on the nation’s comics pages through sheer inertia for at least the last 20 years, if not 30 or more. It’s not like its reputation would be at stake. Even Garfield occasionally allows some plot to seep in between the four or five standard jokes which have kept that strip running since the Carter administration.

    Incidentally, judging by Beetle’s groovy striped pants and “Keep On Truckin’” strut, I’m guessing the “R” on his sweater is a reference to Mr. Crumb.

48. Red Greenback
    January 5th, 2009 at 7:27 pm [Reply]

    MT:
    Cherry T: “Mark called… he said water is flowing into the swamp again and that Pop is doing fine!”
    Owl: “Who?”
    Jack Elrod Ball: “Pop! You know, the guy that… Oh, I guess you weren’t around for that story. Anyway, have you checked out Cherry’s new ‘do?”
    Owl: “Who?”

49. Fashion Police
    January 5th, 2009 at 7:28 pm [Reply]

    If nothing else, Beetle’s trousers are so cutting-edge they haven’t happened yet. If his shirt-tails were showing he’d be trendy.

50. Kardor
    January 5th, 2009 at 7:29 pm [Reply]

    Maybe Beetle could go and stay with his sister, Lois. Let’s face it Chip could do with another role model and the Flagston’s would have a built in baby sitter for the younger ones.

51. Talking Squirrel
    January 5th, 2009 at 7:33 pm [Reply]

    #31 Baka Gaijin sez: “Lynn, you’re no Mark Trail. Ball up your tiny fists all you want, you just can’t hit your father. He has no beard you can slug off his face.”

    Well, somewhat in line with most of the recent MT comments, and keeping in mind where the Teeny Weeny Fist O’ Justice is vectored, we can perhaps hope that she’ll knock all the fuzz off her dad’s fuzzy dice.

    Also, oddly enough, in MT itself the magical morphing landscape continues to dazzle. Outside Pop’s shack, we now behold (once again) a total absence of trees — despite the torrent of water that evidently caused the reincarnation of so many adult swamp critters.

    And the disappearance of those trees has, unfortunately for Pop, disclosed his 1,000 gallon moonshine tank.

    Lastly, according to the principle “As above, so below”, I concur with those suggesting that Cherry-Hairy’s gotten a close shave. The denudation outside the shack suggests that she’s also weedwhacked her undergrowth.

52. Joe Blevins
    January 5th, 2009 at 7:35 pm [Reply]

    MT: Kelly, I’ve gotta be honest, you’re looking a little shopworn these days. You might be aiming for Liz Taylor circa 1958, but it’s coming off like Rip Taylor circa 2008. I know, the Mark Trail universe is a terrifying place, what with giant mutant talking animals and the ever-looming Orb of Elrod, which can easily crush a house. (See panel 2.) But please, Kel, do yourself and the readers a favor and try to get some sleep once a month or so.

53. Comrade Denny
    January 5th, 2009 at 7:45 pm [Reply]

    Ziggy: How nice! The mice are have decided to stand up for Ziggy’s rights! Ba-dump-ching!

54. PeteMoss
    January 5th, 2009 at 7:47 pm [Reply]

    Dick Tracy Toiletries? Ha! I bet it it smells like immenent and brutal death or maiming. Much like Britney Spears’ Curious.

55. Beatrice
    January 5th, 2009 at 7:56 pm [Reply]

    GA: Clovia, a few weeks of scraping Corky’s fryer will cure Slim’s fast-food addiction for good.

    DT: A Cesar Romero as Joker-esque marketing director proposes to bruing us a line of Dick Tracy toiletries, hopefully to be called simply “Dick.”

56. Comics Review Guy
    January 5th, 2009 at 7:57 pm [Reply]

    I can’t beleive you left me today’s Stone Soup all for myself! I was almost certain we would be sharing it.

57. The Klute
    January 5th, 2009 at 7:58 pm [Reply]

    They should incorporate the 2nd panel of Mark Trail into every strip and rename the series to:

    DIE FIELDMOUSE DIE

58. Rusty
    January 5th, 2009 at 8:06 pm [Reply]

    MT: That owl is going to fuck that shit up!

59. John C Fremont
    January 5th, 2009 at 8:15 pm [Reply]

    BB – “SPECIAL NOTE TO PERPLEXED READERS…”

60. bats :[
    January 5th, 2009 at 8:21 pm [Reply]

    Well, nuts! Wadin’ later than I’d imagined:
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/3171610005/sizes/o/

61. Idols of Mud
    January 5th, 2009 at 8:32 pm [Reply]

    Beetle Bailey: You’d see Beetle’s outfit on Justin Timberlake. This means that either Timberlake is horribly retro, or that we’re for a week of Beetle having random sexual encounters.

62. Paleoperdon
    January 5th, 2009 at 8:36 pm [Reply]

    I swear that on first pass I read the middle panel of MT as “When will he be getting some?

    I thought, “Whoa.”

63. 150
    January 5th, 2009 at 8:44 pm [Reply]

    OH MY GOD, is Beetle going AWOL? I swear to Mort Walker I would freely and gladly read any comic about Beetle reintegrating into college, or being pursued by the government, or trying to adjust to non-institutionalized life, or…who am I kidding, anything except more of this fifty-year-long military camping trip.

64. Delurking for a moment
    January 5th, 2009 at 8:50 pm [Reply]

    True Fable: This one’s for you.

    http://www.landbridgetoys.com/index.php?main_page=product_info&products_id=631

65. Spunky N. Tadpole
    January 5th, 2009 at 9:05 pm [Reply]

    IIJM, or is Dick Locher taking Dick Tracy closer and closer to Weimar with every storyline? He seems to have already stopped depicting exteriors, his interiors are looking like sketches the Bauhaus rejected for being too stark, and he now seems to have given up on backgrounds altogether . What’s next on the DT March To Expressionism? Dropping the “drawing” entirely, and going to a strip composed solely of grotesque geometric heads rendered in stark black-and-white spouting non-sequitur dialogue? Oh, wait…..

66. blueberrygrrrl
    January 5th, 2009 at 9:16 pm [Reply]

    Does anyone really say “I’ve changed my hair”? I would say “I hope Mark notices my new haircut,” or “… new hairstyle,” or ” … that I’ve done something different with my hair,” but not “changed my hair.” I mean, you can change your socks, or your oil, or a diaper, but these constructions signify that the old has been removed and replaced by the new. Thus, saying “I’ve changed my hair” would imply that you’ve removed some kind of monolithic attachment that was your old hair and replaced it with a different monolithic … oh, wait, never mind.

67. Donald The Anarchist
    January 5th, 2009 at 9:26 pm [Reply]

    MT It’s funny because it’s really a wig! (Well, either that or the scalp of one of he “missing women” ofLost Forest.)

    BB Oh, great. We’re about to see On the Road II. Maybe Walker can rehash all the beatnik jokes they used to run in Nancy.

    Crock I swear there was a Peanuts strip that was extremely similar, or I may be conflating a bunch of them. Imitation is not always a sincere form of flattery OR plagiarism.

68. One-eyed Wolfdog
    January 5th, 2009 at 9:35 pm [Reply]

    Attracting Mark’s Attention
    In Ten Easy Steps
    Chapter 1

    Wrong: I hope he notices I’ve changed my hair
    Right: I hope he notices I’ve groomed my pelt

69. bats :[
    January 5th, 2009 at 9:37 pm [Reply]

    Closure, my own way:
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/3172565966/sizes/o/

70. Master Softheart
    January 5th, 2009 at 9:37 pm [Reply]

    Archie: Based on the distances involved – estimated with complete confidence based on the mathematical precision with which perspective is drawn by the proud artisans responsible for this flagship of the Archie comics empire – I at first thought that Jughead must have amazing vision. Then I realized that in both panel one, where he identifies the flea from across the room and in panel two, where is effortlessly finds and picks out the flea between his fingertips, his eyes are clearly and unambiguously closed. This led me to conclude that he actually possesses some kind of slacker zen superpower, which still makes him more formidable than Spider Man.

    DT: In panel 3 Tess – confronted by the demonic visage of “Angelorious” proclaiming the genius of marketing her husband’s musk (consisting mostly of cigarettes, gun oil, rancid sweat, and dried blood) – folds her hands, looks to heaven, and begins to pray as she never before has. I think that comics readers worldwide can join her prayers.

    FB: The artist really has captured what it’s like when that happens… um, to a basset hound.

    Luann: Delta, at the risk of sounding kind of Ted Forth, I think that Tootie from the Facts of Life had a better plan for meeting Jermaine Jackson than your vague idea of embezzling money from your school car wash fund and striking out boldly to your inevitable detainment by the Secret Service. If you’re excited about Obama, go become a community organizer or volunteer for “Teach for America” or something else that expresses your idealism better than petty theft and stalking.

    Phantom: This is the coolest thing since the Phantom stood by in bored detachment while Bengalla’s President smacked down a corrupt bureaucrat in unarmed combat (I’d subscribe to the pay per view of Obama beating the Illinois governor within an inch of his life… maybe we could figure a way to pay for the auto bailouts with a series of political cage matches). In any case, I would like to apologize for my suggestion last week that the plot about poaching endangered turtles or abalone or whatever could be outsourced to Mark Trail. While I’m certain that Mark would be more than willing to stretch a bit and protect speedo-clad fish-men from poachers with the collective intelligence of a spent shell casing, I just noticed that only one of them appears to have facial hair. Best let the Phantom and handle this one.

    And if anyone ever wonders what makes the Phantom the greatest superhero strip in town, check out the expressions of well-bred surprise and the shared interrobang of the two Deep Ones in the Saturday strip when confronted by the poachers. One could almost imagine them breaking out with, “I say, our travel agent told us this was a private beach!” as they are gunned down.

    FW: The real pathos here comes from the suggestion in panel 3 that Dinkle is so old that he is incapable even of smirking properly.

    JP: As big a fan as I am of Sam Driver, he really should cover his own hotel bill – state and local budgets are in much more trouble during this economic crisis than a Harvard educated lawyer who can expense a trip across the country to shoot golf while negotiating a six figure advance for a first time author. Show some public spirit, Sam, and treat the sultry detective who just saved your life to a long lunch while providing a bit of untaxed compensation to help her through the inevitable salary freeze and layoffs that Phoenix will be imposing in 2009.

    GT: Wasting no precious time with a plot, we breeze from one confusing high school sports game to another; I actually found myself wishing for Marty Moon to help put this in context. Oh well, at least the interchangeable and forgettable teen athlete of the day is cute. While I don’t know who she is and I doubt that we will see her in recognizable form again, Ashley is helping me deal with my feelings about Dixie Julep’s death; on the court or off, she can do anything with her hot hands that she likes.

    SF: The absurdist psychodrama of Ted Forth, main character in a lost Kevin Smith movie, continues. If the narration box presently on vacation from the Phantom were hired to provide commentary, this would possibly be my favorite comic.

    Ziggy: You know, if Ziggy decided to pursue supervillainy, I think he would be just about Spider Man’s challenge level.

71. Angry Kem
    January 5th, 2009 at 9:37 pm [Reply]

    #67 Donald the Anarchist: There was certainly a series of Peanuts strips in which Snoopy pulled a Chesire Cat. I believe Lucy (or someone) was reading from Alice in Wonderland at the time. There were also many Peanuts strips in which Charlie Brown spent all day waiting for something good to happen.

72. Farley's Revenge
    January 5th, 2009 at 9:37 pm [Reply]

    BB: Whoa! Beetle’s going AWOL? Right out in front of everyone? Yeah, Beetle’s going to show ‘em, as the MPs(if the Army still calls the military cops that) haul his ass off to the stockade.

    Although, being in the stockade would free him from Sarge’s late night snack attacks, if you catch my drift.

    MT: Cherry’s “changed” her hair again? Is she a model for the Zsa-Zsa Gabor wig line or something?

    And frankly, given Mark’s lack of attention to his wife, the only way she would get his notice is if she used pond scum as hair gel or tattooed leaves on her nether regions so she could trick him into thinking he was actually trail blazing through real bush.

73. Angry Kem
    January 5th, 2009 at 9:38 pm [Reply]

    Did…did four of us just post simultaneously?

74. tbkinla5@yahoo.com
    January 5th, 2009 at 9:54 pm [Reply]

    “Water is flowing into the swamp again”… that’s clearly Mark’s coded phrase for being ready for a little nookie. Of course, it only happens when you keep your trunks as far away from any beavers as possible.

75. Farley's Revenge
    January 5th, 2009 at 10:09 pm [Reply]

    #73 Angry Kem: It appears that we did post simultaneously.

    Let’s do the time warp again…

76. blueberrygrrrl
    January 5th, 2009 at 10:09 pm [Reply]

    Oh, and I once cut 24 inches off my hair (yes, that’s 24 inches) and my husband didn’t notice. Considering that he’s an actual warm-blooded, live male human, the chances of Mark noticing the imperceptible-to-me difference between Cherry’s Hair Unit Model 2008 and Hair Unit Model 2009 are nil.

77. True Fable
    January 5th, 2009 at 10:10 pm [Reply]

    # 64 Delurking for a moment – O.M.G.

    I want it.
    I want it.
    *develops enormous kicked puppy eyes*

78. Thibault
    January 5th, 2009 at 10:35 pm [Reply]

    From the Wikipedia article I learned that Miss Buxley is in every Wednesday episode of BB, for no good reason. Could it be some sort of McEldowneyan need to draw tits at least once a week?

79. Wug
    January 5th, 2009 at 10:42 pm [Reply]

    Anyone else noticed the sudden Mary Worth/Disney crossover? “Presenting Lynn, now played by Maleficent!”

    http://disney.go.com/vault/archives/villains/maleficent/maleficent.html

    (In the final, breathtaking installment of this story arc, Lynn will morph into a dragon and fry Frank. But not Mary, because it’s really Mary who is the mistress of all evil, not Maleficent. That, and Mary’s hair (see yesterthread) is actually armor to protect her from the flames.)

    Am I overthinking this?

80. Steven
    January 5th, 2009 at 10:43 pm [Reply]

    Thibault… I call that a very good reason.

81. The Sparrow
    January 5th, 2009 at 11:02 pm [Reply]

    Uncle Lumpy #5, Aitherion #6: Actually, I think Beetle may be a Rugters alum:

82. The Sparrow
    January 5th, 2009 at 11:03 pm [Reply]

    RUTGERS, not my stupid typo at #81… jeez, I previewed and everything.

83. Rusty
    January 5th, 2009 at 11:08 pm [Reply]

    New post up, comments of the week.

84. commodorejohn
    January 5th, 2009 at 11:24 pm [Reply]

    Gah, this working-8-to-4 thing is going to be hell on my posting schedule. Why can’t the rest of the world share my priorities?

    9CL – Hey, kids! It’s Comic Writing Tips with Brooke McEldowney! *sex cello fanfare* Today’s tip: have a character you like, but nobody else does? Want people to look up to your horrible, condescending bitch of a protagonist’s-mom? Simple! Just surround her with cardboard foils who are even worse!

    Crankshaft – Pam, the way the Winkerverse works, you have to have a certain number of bad things in your life. If one of them is a mouse in the attic, I wouldn’t be rushing to free up that slot.

    DT – AAAAIIIIEEEE

    FC – As previously noted, my take on today’s Family Circus can be seen at The Family Circus Of Values.

    FW – “But, you know, since you’re decrepit and disabled, you could be pretty much anybody around here. It all kinda starts to blur together after a while, know what I mean?”

    GF – Okay, Darb. You’re back on my good list.

    GT – Even Milford couldn’t lose against a team named the “Westminster Owls.”

    JP – Begone, murderous wench! Long live Dixie Julep!

    Love Is… – satisfying his fetishes, even if it takes a little work.

    Luann – Say. Delta? Not everybody who goes to D.C. actually meets the president. Odds are most tourists don’t even see him. You know that, right?

    MT – ha haha hahaha hahahaha hahaha haha ha

    MW – Oh, Mary Worth. Oh, Mary Worth.

    OBH – “The Pants On” what? WHAT!?

    Phantom – Uh-oh, guys, you’re in trouble. Now the Metrons are going to declare humans the bigger threat and destroy us.

    Popeye – Guys, I don’t think this is going to stop any time soon. They may as well just retitle it The Popeye & Brutus Masochism Fest.

    PC – !?

    SF – Say, is that Count Morgu in the background of today’s Sally Forth?

85. Lead Tester
    January 5th, 2009 at 11:40 pm [Reply]

    OMG, Beetle Bailey goes to Rutgers?? On the banks of the old Raritan??

86. fishmorgjp
    January 5th, 2009 at 11:43 pm [Reply]

    No, that’s not actually current-era Beetle; that’s an alternate timeline Beetle from the 50s who has found his way here through a wormhole, who will have these horrifying times explained to him by current-era Beetle, and who will run shrieking back through the decades!

87. Spunky N. Tadpole
    January 6th, 2009 at 12:15 am [Reply]

    #5, #6, #81, #86:

    I recall reading somewhere that Beetle Bailey’s alma mater was one “Rockview College” – hence the “R” on his no-doubt ratty and motheaten alternative-timeline sweater. Or maybe it is brand-new in that inimitable Camp Swampy way – like their museum-piece armaments, antique jeeps and older-than-the-frickin-hills jokes.

88. Uncle Ed
    January 6th, 2009 at 12:24 am [Reply]

    #72 I believe it was Eva Gabor who had the wig line.

89. LTBF
    January 6th, 2009 at 2:10 am [Reply]

    LuAnn…did she mean take the whole class to DC? since this is in semi-real time (she already said this is a new year), does she expect to throw together a trip to the inauguration in just two weeks?

    And instead of being excited about meeting the president, why doesn’t she just say “I’m excited about meeting a president whose political views match those of this strip’s author?”?

90. Lurker
    January 6th, 2009 at 11:01 am [Reply]

    No one noticed that Beetle is going back to Rutgers?? How ’bout some love for the Scarlet Knights, holla!

91. Pozzo
    January 6th, 2009 at 1:37 pm [Reply]

    Isn’t “Cherrry Trail” itself a good enough title for a Skinemax flick?

92. batgirl
    January 6th, 2009 at 2:31 pm [Reply]

    Pants On Fire? Could be that Grandpa is a Meg Cabot fan. There’s Skorski’s book on Al Franken, but it’s a stretch to call that ‘escapist’.

93. Paul1963
    January 6th, 2009 at 4:50 pm [Reply]

    Why the hell is Beetle Bailey even in the Army in 2009 anyway? It sorta kinda made sense in the ’50s and even a fair distance into the ’70s because he could have been drafted (never mind that ducking into a recruiting office wasn’t the same as getting drafted). However, the draft ended thirty-five years ago, making it unlikely that the perpetually-20ish Beetle got in by any means other than actually going to a recruiter and signing up of his own free will…which, given his deeply-ingrained and intractible laziness and problems with authority, seems about as likely as Mary Worth overhearing someone discussing a problem and thinking, “Oh, it’s none of my business.”

94. PoeWar
    January 6th, 2009 at 5:22 pm [Reply]

    It appears that the comic is moving on without Beetle. The new name of the strip will be “Beetle’s Troop” and Sandy Duncan will take over as Beetle’s sister.

95. Zinger
    January 6th, 2009 at 5:37 pm [Reply]

    BB – As a Rutgers grad/current/indefinite student, I was intrigued by Beetle’s “R”. A little scrolling on the Wiki entry however, implies that Beetle’s enrollment was in Rockview University. Googling reveals that no such thing has ever existed and Beetle is, in fact, heading back to Rockview State Correctional Facility in Pennsylvania.

    I would insert something clever, but the truth is simply amusing enough.

96. Paul1963
    January 6th, 2009 at 6:06 pm [Reply]

    [[MARK enters his cabin at Lost Forest. CHERRY is there waiting for him. She strikes a semi-seductive pose (C'mon, Jack, you can do it, there's plenty of photo reference available for human beings!).]]
    CHERRY: Hi, Mark! Notice anything different?
    MARK: Who the hell are you?

97. Chance
    January 6th, 2009 at 9:42 pm [Reply]

    Haiku to Crock

    Lonely top-toothed grin
    Hanging in featureless void
    A sad, sideways moon

98. swlarch
    January 7th, 2009 at 7:23 pm [Reply]

    I came here from the weblog awards. This is supposed to be funny? This is crap!

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