The Comics Curmudgeon

81 responses to “Let she who dresses non-dumbly cast the first stone”

1. Mac
   January 6th, 2009 at 10:49 pm [Reply]

   You know why this blog is running away with “Best Humor Blog”? It’s little touches like the accent over “tailèd”.

2. yahtzee
   January 6th, 2009 at 10:53 pm [Reply]

   I’m with Margo on this one: An apartment with mauve curtains, seafoam green upholstery and a living houseplant definitely screams “bachelor” — of the confirmed variety, ifyaknowwhatimean.

3. Skullturf Q. Beavispants
   January 6th, 2009 at 10:55 pm [Reply]

   The rhythm seemed wrong to me in that Family Circus caption. I wanted it to be “TERRIER-ist”.

4. monsieurjohn
   January 6th, 2009 at 11:00 pm [Reply]

   “dilbert” is in the running for best comic strip? weak.

5. papa zita
   January 6th, 2009 at 11:00 pm [Reply]

   @2: Aw, c’mon. Eric’s just having some hot monk sexxx axxion before he has to face Margo. Wouldn’t you? Wait, I’m having an El Topo moment here. Never mind, it’s over.

6. Citric
   January 6th, 2009 at 11:03 pm [Reply]

   With the week of reruns at 9CL, the pacing of this cello competition story has sped up considerably.

7. The Spectacular Spider-Brick
   January 6th, 2009 at 11:09 pm [Reply]

   Nothing against Ces and Medium Large, but since he seems to have the nowhere-near-winning spot locked up, I’m free to use my vote to make sure XKCD beats Garfield Minus Garfield. I mean, it’s funny, yeah, but when you get down to it, XKCD is creative and GMG isn’t.

8. Tom the Pirate
   January 6th, 2009 at 11:09 pm [Reply]

   Jump Start – I wanna go to the hospital where wings, nachos and cheese fries are on the menu in the cardiology wing!

9. Erik
   January 6th, 2009 at 11:09 pm [Reply]

   Billy and Jeffy don’t look so much like they’re running away as they look like they’re doing some sort of backwards congo. Are they hoping that ritualistic dances will ward off the evil terrierist? Sorry Billy, it’s already been tried.

10. Artist formerly known as Ben
    January 6th, 2009 at 11:10 pm [Reply]

    By gum, you’re right. It’s a little embarassing for me that I never noticed the extreme slenderness of Eric’s “couch.” All I can think is that Frank Bolle grew up in such a poor family that he and his eight brothers and sisters had to cram onto one easy chair. They were proud and to them it was a couch, so when he saw the word “couch” in the script, that’s just where his mind went.

11. Tom the Pirate
    January 6th, 2009 at 11:10 pm [Reply]

    Family Tree – Given the artistic treatment of chins and cheekbones, I can’t wait to see how he handles budding young bosoms.

12. Spunky N. Tadpole
    January 6th, 2009 at 11:13 pm [Reply]

    Actually, the text in the first panel of today’s A3G is fairly clever (as Margo-isms go) in a sort of off-the-cuff faux-Zen way:

    “Since I don’t know what I’m looking for, I may as well start here”

    but unfortunately, its inevitable Margo-ish corollary:

    “…but I’ll be sure to bitch about it when I find it!” is left unsaid. Unless she addresses the comment to her handbag, as she seems to be doing in Panel 2

13. Tom the Pirate
    January 6th, 2009 at 11:15 pm [Reply]

    This week in Funky Winkerbean … band directors from different generations betray their spouses and engage in brassy band-room shenanigans. Tune in next strip as Becky moans, “Once you go one-armed, you never go back” and Harry responds with crackling wit, “Tootle on my piccolo, you saucy minx!”

14. DaveyK
    January 6th, 2009 at 11:15 pm [Reply]

    A chair with a purse perched atop it screams “Bachelor” to Margo? That may explain why she’s still unmarried. And I don’t mean because furniture shouts at her, although that’s also not a bad explanation for a lot of things about Margo.

15. Poteet
    January 6th, 2009 at 11:16 pm [Reply]

    I wasn’t planning to admit it, but dangit, I wanted to see those blue mer-penises. An interest in exotic genitalia is one reason I studied biology. And I don’t see how how the mer-penises could be any more hideous than those tan diapers. Tan on metallic blue, yuck!

16. Vince M
    January 6th, 2009 at 11:18 pm [Reply]

    I probably don’t need to call attention to it here, but I’m enjoying/looking forward to this week’s award-themed run of Medium Large .

    Richard’s Poor Almanack needs a look too.

17. Tom the Pirate
    January 6th, 2009 at 11:19 pm [Reply]

    If I wasn’t sitting at an exposed desk at work, I’d be googling “blue mer-penises” right now, just to see what comes up. Literally.

18. Poteet
    January 6th, 2009 at 11:22 pm [Reply]

    Do we really know that Margo is referring to the blue chair? In the second panel, she isn’t really looking at it. In fact, she looks like a blind goldfish, even as Tommie last week looked like a sick goldfish. Frank Bolle, two words of advice — eschew profiles.

19. Spunky N. Tadpole
    January 6th, 2009 at 11:28 pm [Reply]

    #17 : Tom:

    Ask and ye shall receive, dude. .

    Not that this is really all that much of a Google: but it contains, at least, this gem from our own Pope Josh:

    to protect our innocent eyes from their terrifying mer-penises. …. hope he notices that I’ve paired up this baby blue cardigan with my orange shirt! ..

20. Poteet
    January 6th, 2009 at 11:29 pm [Reply]

    # 13 Tom — Bwahaha!

    And in distantly-related news, the Des Moines paper reported yesterday that one local high school is eliminating the marching band, at least the marching part. As someone who was required to join marching band years ago in order to play in concert band or orchestra, I am torn between wild cheers and bitterness at having been born too soon.

21. Les of the Jungle Patrol
    January 6th, 2009 at 11:31 pm [Reply]

    That thing about to maul the Keane-spawn is actually some sort of mutant dog/cat hybrid creature. Presumably the radioactive waste deposits in their area that have caused the children’s heads to grow so large and freakishly have also been affecting pets and wildlife.

22. Brick Bradford
    January 6th, 2009 at 11:35 pm [Reply]

    I actually thought that Billy was using the growling dog (must have an irrational fear of melon heads) as an excuse to throttle Jeffy.

23. sugarpie
    January 6th, 2009 at 11:38 pm [Reply]

    Gotta say it still look like billy is using Jeffy as a human shield.

24. Angry Kem
    January 6th, 2009 at 11:48 pm [Reply]

    Not only are the Keanes still incapable of drawing animals that do not look like terrifying mutants, they seem to be running out of sane puns. Any child confronted with that hideous monstrosity would probably just scream and run away, but let’s assume it’s meant to belong to the breed (or, rather, the collection of breeds) that is generally, and erroneously, referred to as the “pit bull.” Wouldn’t Billy say, “Watch out…that’s a pit bull”? What tiny child would be aware that the full name for the animal would be “pit bull terrier”? Furthermore, what tiny child would glom onto the “terrier” and turn it into an execrable pun? What is wrong with you, Keanes?

25. WillieO
    January 6th, 2009 at 11:49 pm [Reply]

    In reality, Billy is using jeffy as a human shield, so he’ll bear the brunt of the mauling, allowing billy to escape unscathed. And thus a grim truth about the keane kompound is realized: only the smartest and fastest survive.

    This helps to explain the existence of Dolly and the baby, as Mom and Pop Keane have obviously had redundant offspring in order to better ensure the survival of their genes. At least with Jeffy gone, there will be more food for the others tonight…

26. teddytoad
    January 7th, 2009 at 12:13 am [Reply]

    A close look at panel 2 shows that Margo is looking at a leather couch outside the panel. Also, the totally awesome scarf that makes the “monochrome schoolmarm/Man in the Yellow Hat” look totally work is outside the panel. She just took it off for a sec. DON’T QUESTION MARGO.

27. Tom the Pirate
    January 7th, 2009 at 12:20 am [Reply]

    You are all missing the point of today’s FC. The vicious dog is actually secondary to the fact that Billy and Jeffy have sneakers that match their shirts. How many little boys — or grown men, for that matter — can say that?

    We’ll ignore the little blue leg warmers that demonstrate Jeffy’s fondness for ’80s fashion as defined in Flashdance….

28. teddytoad
    January 7th, 2009 at 12:21 am [Reply]

    #2 yahtzee — as a practicing bachelor of the confirmed (waaaay confirmed) sort, I take exception to your insinuation. Mauve curtains + seafoam furniture + plant = Charterstone.

29. Tom the Pirate
    January 7th, 2009 at 12:22 am [Reply]

    By the way, has neither Jeffy nor Dolly ever questioned the fact that neither of their parents has red hair? Hmmm.

30. teddytoad
    January 7th, 2009 at 12:22 am [Reply]

    #27 Tom – do Brooklyn hipsters count as grown men?

31. Rusty
    January 7th, 2009 at 12:36 am [Reply]

    FC: Tomorrow, Barfy and/or TheOtherDogWhoseNameEscapesMe comes to the rescue. Or joins in the mauling, I haven’t really thought it through.

32. Mike P
    January 7th, 2009 at 12:39 am [Reply]

    I’ve started commenting on the Phantom and Mandrake, in addition to Spider-Man.

33. kelsy
    January 7th, 2009 at 12:41 am [Reply]

    At least today’s The Phantom shows us how to aggressively hold a flashlight at someone/thing.

34. Paperback Rifler
    January 7th, 2009 at 12:53 am [Reply]

    Well, I’ve casted my votes; so I’m feeling pretty happy even though I don’t have anything to throw into the snark pot except the following:

    Pluggers: I suppose that we should all feel fortunate that today’s caption (”A plugger’s anti-virus software”) is not accompanying an illustration of a bear Plugger reaching for a bedside box of condoms.

    (”Meh,” right?! I know! But it’s all I have!)

    And I’m a little bit behind on the posts, but I’ll just ask the following questions anyway: Is anybody else still grieving over the passing of Dixie Julep, homicidal psychostripper extraordinaire? And is anybody else still harboring resentment towards 9 Chickweed Lane for its tedious, unappealing, and embarrassing “Hand Sex at the Concours Forrest-Whatever” plotline? I still am; but I was able to get this out of my system, not to mention this.

    Apologies if any of that has been done before; but in any case, I’m confident that I can now let the healing begin.

35. Paperback Rifler
    January 7th, 2009 at 12:56 am [Reply]

    What?! The past tense of “cast” is “cast”?! Huh.

36. Buck Ripsnort
    January 7th, 2009 at 1:03 am [Reply]

    Paperback, the past tense of “cast” is obviously “cust”, as in “The bad fisherman cust out his line.”

37. Zinger
    January 7th, 2009 at 1:06 am [Reply]

    A3G – Now where have I seen that aqua chair before… OMG! Eric is tryin to recreate PeeWee’s Playhouse one anthropomorphic piece of furniture at a time!

38. bats :[
    January 7th, 2009 at 1:13 am [Reply]

    RMMD: donut crumbs?! What they’ll discover is that the fat little porker wasn’t eating a donut, but a sopapilla (kinda like a donut without the hole, found in fine Mexican food establishments)…it’s Guido Tomas’ illegitimate son!

    34. Paperback Rifler: excellent! Particularly Dixie Lives 1! And I could’ve sworn that the past tense of cast is castanet.

39. Canaduck
    January 7th, 2009 at 1:30 am [Reply]

    Oh my god, no. When I read FC here, I thought, “Josh is going to give an explanation for this horrible, horrible excuse for a comic. It’s a parody. A very poorly-done parody, making fun of the strip. I can handle that.” But now you’re telling me that this is the REAL ACTUAL FAMILY CIRCUS for the day and it was printed in the newspapers and people are going to be cutting it out and putting it on their refrigerators, and yet Bil Keane is still allowed to walk the streets with the rest of us?

40. xyzzy
    January 7th, 2009 at 1:32 am [Reply]

    S4th: 1-6 Ted may survive this. 1-7 OMG Ted is so fkked!!!

41. mollificent
    January 7th, 2009 at 1:59 am [Reply]

    I have to agree with #28 teddytoad. If anyone in this world actually NEEDS a Fab Five intervention, it’s Eric Mills. They’d just have to run the Margo gauntlet first…and I doubt she’d allow the competition. ;)

    #34 Paperback Rifler: Awesome!

42. scruffylove
    January 7th, 2009 at 2:07 am [Reply]

    FC- And to think, communities across the United States want to ban these beautiful pit bull terriers when all they want to do is rid the world of mis-bred creatures who act on the poor, misguided training of their owners? Where is the justice?

43. Poteet
    January 7th, 2009 at 2:17 am [Reply]

    1/7 FC — Jeffy and Dolly look like frostbitten Everest-expedition victims from INTO THIN AIR. I look forward to seeing the results of their nose amputations.

44. NotThatGuy
    January 7th, 2009 at 2:33 am [Reply]

    Why hasn’t anyone done a Room Escape game featuring Mary Worth?

45. Master Softheart
    January 7th, 2009 at 2:58 am [Reply]

    JP: It’s good to see a woman who makes Juliette Burber look demure and subtle by comparison. Of course, she hasn’t slept in two days and just confronted a deranged killer, so maybe we aren’t seeing her seduction technique at its most refined. Tragically, Sam is more likely to threaten a lawsuit for police harassment than to go anywhere with this.

    Phantom: Honestly, I never understood why more H.P. Lovecraft stories didn’t end after a few pages with more or less this result.

    Garfield: That was marginally subversive. I like it.

    B.C.: Making fun of the strip creator’s misogyny earns bonus points for team zombie!

    Archie: Without irony, I found this humorous.

    FB: Technically, this was a joke.

46. Sparky
    January 7th, 2009 at 2:58 am [Reply]

    We’re all praying the pitbull will rescue us from future Family Circus cartoons.

    Pibgorn is just unable to get to the point – but it’s a web serial. 9CL needs to focus on Edda and sex. With Gay snarkiness, and a visit from the newlyweds who escaped from being priest and nun.

    I can’t read Spiderman in the paper – it’s dull.

47. Puppy
    January 7th, 2009 at 3:00 am [Reply]

    I got it!

    Margo was so busy dissing the leather couch, she failed to notice the blue non-leather un-couch with a purse on it!

    Margo is in for a big surprise when she catches Mr Mills in flagrante delicto with owner of said purse, that white, unfashionable, leather purse.

48. Carly
    January 7th, 2009 at 3:07 am [Reply]

    So it wasn’t just me, with the pop-ups. I was starting to feel awkward for violating your right to be free of false accusations, or something like that. (Not that this is your fault in any way.)

49. Oregonian
    January 7th, 2009 at 3:54 am [Reply]

    Could someone explain the Tuesday Dilbert to me? Are there any animals that use sonar that aren’t mammals? Is he suggesting that the secretary is a lifeless submarine? WTF?

50. Wangdoodle
    January 7th, 2009 at 5:53 am [Reply]

    Monty the day before yesterday: AAAAAAAAAH! AAAAAAAAAAH!! KILL IT!! KILL IT WITH FIRE!!

    Monty today: Sister, your eyes are boobs. What are you modest about?

51. dale
    January 7th, 2009 at 6:01 am [Reply]

    A3G

    I agree that Margo is not looking at the chair. It’s probably her purse on the chair. She might have noticed that in panel 2 the chair is missing an arm.
    The color doesn’t say “bachelor” as much as “curbside.”

52. Little Guy
    January 7th, 2009 at 7:59 am [Reply]

    Ces: Screw 4th place — you’re within reach to get the Bronze.

    Make this an ‘upset’, Mungeons! I have $2 for Show.

53. Steve the Pocket
    January 7th, 2009 at 7:59 am [Reply]

    Curtis: I’m a newcomer to this game. Are these Kwanzaa stories usually revealed to have been a book Curtis was reading, or is this a new thing for this year?

54. Mibbitmaker
    January 7th, 2009 at 8:26 am [Reply]

    Yestercomics 1/6:

    FC: The Keane foray into editorial cartooning fails due to lack of labels. They should be: Billy = “Dubya”, Jeffy = USA, Dog-like creature = “al-Quaeda”. Also, it fails miserably in general.

    A3G: Margo’s lesson in the art of womanhood is to erase her man’s personhood. I didn’t say it was a good lesson.

    Ghost-Who-Is-Too-Embarassed-To-Be-In-His-Own-Strip-So-Far: And they inadvertantly chase the creatures back into the sea current “Sherman’s Lagoon” storyline.

    Curtiskwanzaa finale: So you put cheese at a stump and that makes unending water pour from a jug. It’s at this point in a Chuck Jones cartoon, c.1953, that some guy puts his fingers to his lips, his pupils shift quickly, yet subtly, towards the viewer as the rest of his body is still — then suddenly laughs like a mental patient, but only for a second until he freezes in a crazy pose (fast exit, stage left, in a puff of smoke optional).

    DT: Dick has a fed-up expression here. I heartily agree.

    Garfield: The cat should tell Jon that he looks like Dr. Gene Scott like that. That’ll make him take those off pretty quick.

    H&J: Hey, I came up with a vastly better written version of that long ago to explain my realist (as oposed to optimist or pessimist) philosophy, only to now have it unknowingly co-opted by a bullet-headed moron’s guide to it. Thanks loads, guys[/heavy sarcasm].

    JP: …Well, except for that guy behind her in the last panel. He just wants Sam to get the hell out of town, period.

    MF: Why is that badly-drawn likeness of Michelle Obama wearing a giant fright wig? (or did I just answer my own question?)

    MT: Mrowr, mrowr! (also from a Chuck Jones Looney Tunes)

    Mutts: (Viagra joke withdrawn)

    R&R: With a special appearence by Rod Blagojevich.

    RMMD: Number of people as corroborating evidence before June will believe her own daughter: 65,786,599 (give or take a couple hundred).

    S-M: Stupider concepts than superheroes: super villains.

55. Bryan
    January 7th, 2009 at 9:42 am [Reply]

    “Hot Western Schoolmarm Monthly”

    I want to read that magazine.

56. Patrick
    January 7th, 2009 at 10:26 am [Reply]

    That detective pretty uniquivocably told Margo that he thought Eric was involved in drug smuggling and/or selling, so I’m confused as to how she “doesn’t know what [she's] looking for.” Is it that she doesn’t know exactly what drugs or big piles of money look like, or she’s trying to figure out where, in an unstylish bachelor pad, a bachelor would choose to keep the Dope Jar.

57. lettuce
    January 7th, 2009 at 11:25 am [Reply]

    9 CWL: It’s becoming increasingly clear, thanks to our week of reruns, that Brooke McEldowney can only concieve of human intimacy when the female of the species has a wild-eyed, crazed and violent expression — usually involving bared teeth.

    And I thought it was just me.

    Archie: I wish panel three was, instead, Archie crying out: “They’re heiroglyphics. I don’t know how to write!”

    Curtis: I’ve never agreed with Curtis before, but yeah. Let’s go listen to exploding red music before Mom pulls out another crazed and boring book.

    Phantom: Much like the lesson from Curtis’ Kwanzaa book, rather going through “all that junk” to shoot and kill a giant sea monkey, all they had to do was ask! And then they could shoot and kill and giant sea monkey.

    MT: The sad thing is, Mark will come home and comment on Patty’s hair, which is exactly like Cherry’s. But he won’t notice Cherry’s hair, because she’s Cherry. He will notice Dr. Davis’ hair, but only in a mocking, bald-joke sort of way.

58. lettuce
    January 7th, 2009 at 11:26 am [Reply]

    Spiderman: “No Electro! Don’t Electrocute me! And no, Murdero! Don’t Murder me! But as for you, Fellatio…”

59. Jumper
    January 7th, 2009 at 11:32 am [Reply]

    Being unfamiliar with the Phantom “universe,” I was nevertheless nonplussed by the sea snake-like mermen. Either in the Phantom universe, magic rules, and unicorns and burning rainbows exist, or not. I think not. No, I think it is scuba divers wearing costumes.

    The glee I feel comes from the confusion the characters in Phantom feel themselves: Do THEY know there can be no sea snake mermen? Apparently not. Those boys look like superstitious types, sure. So shouldn’t the guy be saying, “Git th’ light on ‘em! They’re gettin’ away”?

60. lettuce
    January 7th, 2009 at 11:39 am [Reply]

    Jumper #59: You think this ruins the Phantom universe? Just wait till you see the “Phantom Christmas Special.” Totally screws up the Phantom canon forever once you see Harvey Korman in drag, Bea Arthur on a holoscreen and a totally stoned Carrie Fisher singing about “Phantom Life Day.”

61. jennifer
    January 7th, 2009 at 12:02 pm [Reply]

    Family Circus just went to a really bad place.

    Older brother isn’t protecting Jeffy; he’s using him for a shield. Jeffy’s the sacrificial red-headed stepchild.

    That isn’t a terrier; it’s a hyena. Or a jackal.

62. ouranosaurus
    January 7th, 2009 at 12:47 pm [Reply]

    The curled lip of the terrierIST may appear menacing, but its eyes show nothing but ennui. Threatening the local melon-skulled children again? Is that all there is to life? To lick one’s scrotum, mutilate Keanes, urinate on fenceposts, and then repeat the same grind over and over again? To what greater end?

    No American dog could look so world-weary. Clearly, wracked as he is by existential crises, the dog is actually French. Which provides a pat explanation for avid FC readers of why he’s become a terrierIST. I suppose the artist didn’t include a beret on the dog because it would have been a little too on the nose.

63. Li’l Bunnë FooFoo
    January 7th, 2009 at 12:47 pm [Reply]

    A leather sofa screams “bachelor”. A teal leather sofa screams “confirmed bachelor”.

64. Fashion Police
    January 7th, 2009 at 1:03 pm [Reply]

    On second thought, Margo’s outfit is kind of hot, in a spinster-librarian kind of way. She should compare notes with Miss Phelps.

65. Joe Blevins
    January 7th, 2009 at 2:16 pm [Reply]

    FC: Finally, the animal world has risen up against the abomination that is Jeffy’s purple sweatshirt. Or possibly his blue leg-warmers.

    A3G: “There’ll be some changes made.” That’s Margo-ese for, “I’m having him chemically castrated after the honeymoon so he never bothers me with such gaucheries as sexual intercourse.”

66. Crankenstank
    January 7th, 2009 at 2:23 pm [Reply]

    I have to question a list of 10 nominees for best internet strip that doesn’t include Kevin and Kell, but maybe K&K’s single print subscriber-newspaper disqualifies it.

    But, I duly voted for xkcd. Hey, I LOVE CES and Medium Large but I’m a geek and inside humor is the funniest of all.

    Oh, threw you another sop for Best Humor blog, of course, Josh. For some reason Ann Coulter’s blog wasn’t listed so I had to run with my second choice.

67. annabanana
    January 7th, 2009 at 2:46 pm [Reply]

    Am I the only one here who has a problem with jerkwit Bil Keane not only helping to spread ‘terrorist’ paranoia, but also helping to continue with spreading the misconception that pit bulls are some sort of monstrous species of mutant killer dog, a vicious anomaly among canines? Thanks, dickweed, for helping to perpetuate the kinds of attiudes that lead to so many of the dogs being subjected to needless cruelty and oftentimes death.

    Sorry to drop the serious bomb here, but Keane’s ignorance is starting to morph from stomach-churningly ‘cute’ to outright head-wonking propaganda, and I for one am getting mightily pissed off that newspapers continue to publish his dreck.

    Bil Keane MUST DIE!

68. Poteet
    January 7th, 2009 at 3:07 pm [Reply]

    # 67 annabanana — Years ago I was annoyed by a FC showing a large evil-looking big-fanged snake in pursuit of Billy (as part of a guardian-angel-protecting-Billy theme). I wrote a very polite letter to Bil Keane (this was before the Magic Internets) pointing out, as gently as I could manage, that snakes are mostly-harmless beneficial creatures who are in increasing trouble, conservation-wise, and have enough PR problems without that kind of cartoon.

    I received a nice letter thanking me and saying that he had nothing against snakes and in fact their kids had a pet snake years ago.

    Several years later the strip showed a menacing snake again. But just possibly if I hadn’t written, there would have been more menacing snakes. I dunno.

69. Fintan the Fish
    January 7th, 2009 at 3:22 pm [Reply]

    “They’re getting away! Now we have TWO god damned button accordions!”

70. annabanana
    January 7th, 2009 at 3:33 pm [Reply]

    Thanks, Poteet. I may try that one out on Mr. Keane. I’d hope he’s just pandering to his perceived readership’s predjudices, and isn’t actually so horribly misinformed himself. Though it’s bad that he uses his strip to help spread those kind of unthinking perceptions, either way. But sometimes benevolent intercession can work wonders with the misguided.

71. Jumper
    January 7th, 2009 at 7:26 pm [Reply]

    Actually, the leather sofa screams “good salary and good sense” whereas a cloth-covered sofa says “manfunk permanente.” Or even “elderly Mrs Pootsnivel sat here once too often.”

    See, this is why I can no longer use cartoonists as my life-lesson gurus.

72. KT
    January 7th, 2009 at 7:48 pm [Reply]

    “A plugger usually has to get back what he has loaned out.”

    And non-pluggers DON’T?
    “Hey Bruce, can I borrow $50?”
    “Sure, here you go.”
    “Thanks. And by ‘borrow’ I mean ‘keep forever’.”
    “That’s okay! I’m not a plugger. I’m a vapid airheaded blue-state liberal sushi-eating latte-sipping gay-marrying bohemian non-plugger wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee”

73. Muffaroo
    January 7th, 2009 at 8:52 pm [Reply]

    lettuce @58 – This is Major Award material here.

74. Gatorman
    January 7th, 2009 at 11:16 pm [Reply]

    Do Margo and Dick Tracy shop at the same bright yellow overcoat store (I’m not nearly bright enough to come up with a suggested name for said store) or has Margo just come from ransacking Dick’s apartment after successfully having him killed as well? Or is that Dick Tracy in drag?

75. corinthian
    January 7th, 2009 at 11:33 pm [Reply]

    I think that’s pushing the limits of what could be considered a terrier. Perhaps it’s a pygmy mountain lion, or the fabled chupacabra!

76. sully
    January 8th, 2009 at 12:25 pm [Reply]

    Re: FC

    Why is that cat growling at Billy and Jeffy?

77. shinebox
    January 8th, 2009 at 1:36 pm [Reply]

    Oddly, that makes twice this week I’ve heard the phrase “hideous blue mer-penises.” …I don’t want to talk about it, either.

78. annabanana
    January 8th, 2009 at 10:25 pm [Reply]

    #74–

    Howzabout naming it ‘ The Bright Yellow Overcoat Store’?

    Yes, that is belaboring the obvious, but then again we are talking about ‘Dick Tracy’ and ‘Apartment 3-Something’ here, where balaboring the obvious is pretty much a rule of thumb…

79. ms. docweasel
    January 9th, 2009 at 3:53 am [Reply]

    Oh for fuck’s sake, yeah, that’s why the US passed the Patriot Act, “middle class anxiety”. Nothing to do with the fact real terrorists attacked the US and killed thousands of our citizens, just flaky, paranoid middle class Jesus-huggers in fly-over country who sold out every civil right in the Constitution because they are sniveling babies. And the fact we haven’t been attacked again _proves_ there was nothing to fear and the Patriot Act was unnecessary, right?

    By succeeding in keeping us safe, Bush inadvertently proves that vigilance and extra-ordinary government power to monitor terrorists was just one of his Bushitler Nazi powergrabs, right, not a legitimate measure to keep the country safe from enemies very determined to kill us all? It all goes along with the liberal scorn poured on the terrorism alert system.

    Since no terrorist attack has been successful lately, therefore, there is not threat.

    Therefore, no measures are needed to protect us from that non-existent threat, they were just enacted so that Bushco could implement it’s fascist regime, or something like that. Ipso facto, right?

    That’s why you see all these Bush critics going to prison and why criticism of the president is nearly non-existent, because of all the fascist control Bush has over the country, right? And why the Dems are so beaten down and powerless?

    Jesus, save the leftist rhetoric for Wonkette. 8 years of this inane bullshit is about to end, because your Messiah is going to be charged with protecting the country now. And if he fails, you’re going to hear a lot about how “well, at least Bush kept us safe” and a fuck of a lot of vindication for ALL the measures President Bush felt it necessary to implement to keep us so.

    Nominating political hacks with no experience in intelligence to vital posts like the CIA is a good start in endangering the country, btw. But partisanship over country is pretty much the Democrat mantra since President Kennedy, the last Democrat to give a flying fig about actually protecting the country, not just demagoguing.

80. annabanana
    January 9th, 2009 at 5:48 pm [Reply]

    Who let Sean Hannity in here?

    And why is he calling himself “Ms. Docweasel” ?

81. ms. docweasel
    January 14th, 2009 at 12:35 am [Reply]

    yeah, because defending the country is the sole province of righties, right?

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