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Happy trails

B.C., 8/13/13

Prehistoric or not, it’s time to catch up when Prince Valiant beats you to a technology joke by two years.

Crankshaft, 8/13/13

“And by ‘great practice’ we mean ‘pointless and expensive truck rolls that put us at risk, endanger the public safety, and have had no effect on the frequency or recklessness of your life-threatening behavior.’”

“As part of your award, your family and the Montgomery County Court have arranged a special honorary bunk for you at, um, ‘Firehouse Manor’, where you’ll be on special honorary permanent assignment under the “Honorary Heroes” program, Ohio Revised Code (ORC) 5122.01(B). Your new Captain will give you additional orders on your arrival. Be sure to take all the vitamins she gives you so you can perform all your special honorary duties! Been great knowing you, gramps!”

Dick Tracy, 8/13/13

Dick Tracy‘s new creative team has been referencing, recapping, and extending old characters and plots all the way from the strip’s 1930′s origins through the Moon Madness of the 1970′s. Today’s second panel recaps the final episode before the team took over from Dick Locher in 2011: in it, Mordred tries to kill Dick Tracy in an abandoned granary but is eaten alive by rats before he can seal the deal.

So what happens now? Does the strip move forward from the present moment, with new villains to overcome and crimes to solve? Or does it start recapping the recaps themselves in an ever-tightening spiral until Dick Tracy shrinks to a single image, of a solitary rat nibbling on the last morsel of a villain, every day forever?

Heathcliff, 8/13/13

Heathcliff Moves On, Part XLIV: By car, scooter, balloon, elephant, and now by cannon, a cat’s gotta travel.


BOOM, I’m outta here — apparently, I’ve been selected for some sort of honorary program, and I don’t want to be late for my initiation! Josh returns Wednesday morning with more of the rich, savory comic goodness you’ve come to expect from the Comics Curmudgeon. Thanks!

–Uncle Lumpy

303 responses to “Happy trails”

  1. tallyHO
    August 13th, 2013 at 1:58 am [Reply]

  2. tallyHO
    August 13th, 2013 at 2:00 am [Reply]

    And, never forget: The Heathcliff Mobile

  3. tallyHO
    August 13th, 2013 at 2:03 am [Reply]

    And never, ever forget (like I just did twice):

    Thanks, Unca Lumpy!
    You are the model of consistency and you have a mirth filled center.
    Shine on, you madcap merrymaker, see!

  4. Uncle Lumpy
    August 13th, 2013 at 2:11 am [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#1, #2, #3):

    I know! Heathcliff is all about modes of transport!

  5. Droopy Says
    August 13th, 2013 at 2:21 am [Reply]

    Abusing Spiderman: “Oh, and did I mention it’s night? That you could have escaped by fleeing into the darkness around us?”

    9CL: This had me singing, if you can call it that, “Listen to the Mockery Bird.” Because this arc is for the birds.

    Family Circus: That’s good, Dolly. Stack your DVDs next to granny’s favorite bottles of Jim Beam and Cutty Sark. Four melonheads in one condo? She’ll need all the help she can get.

    Funky’s Flunkies: Just offhand, I’d say there’s something wrong here, but I can’t quite put my finger on it. Maybe someone else could point it out?

    Crankshat: The serial arsonist is rewarded and praised for yet another disaster? Crankshaft is the long-lost illegitimate father of Judge Parker, isn’t he?

    Phantom: I hope Walker didn’t lose the old guy, because then it will mean another week wasted in re-introducing him.

    Mark Trail: “Can you imagine what it was like, Rusty, when it was flat, steaming swampland, home to velociraptors who could chase you down, gouge out chunks of your flesh and eat them before your dying eyes? Only to be wiped out when a giant asteroid impact touched off a mass extinction, blasting this world with heat and flame? Here, let me help you start a fire!”

    Oh, yeah: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7bFZGJodIU4 A restored, 90 minute version of “The Lost World.”

    Pluggers: In order to prepare my snark, I googled Branson. Pardon me while I run screaming into the night.

  6. Huckleberry Fink
    August 13th, 2013 at 2:53 am [Reply]

    Hazel: The cat humping Hazel’s leg would beg to differ.

    GA: Obviously, Giacomo won’t obey commands unless they’re spoken in his native Italian.

  7. J. Robert Oppenheimer
    August 13th, 2013 at 2:55 am [Reply]

    Maybe it’s just the sun (or moon, it’s hard to tell when the cartoon’s in black-and-white), but Heathcliff looks like he’s wearing a halo… I think the cannon’s blast may have killed him.

  8. J. Robert Oppenheimer
    August 13th, 2013 at 3:02 am [Reply]

    I hate to be a nitpicker, Lumpy, but there should be a semicolon after “cannon” in the Heathcliff commentary.

  9. Huckleberry Fink
    August 13th, 2013 at 3:23 am [Reply]

    Frazz: Even at garage sale prices, Mrs. Olsen’s mug, jugs and can would be considered a toxic waste of money.

  10. Huckleberry Fink
    August 13th, 2013 at 3:33 am [Reply]

    Today’s Nancy is a recreation of a famous painting:

    http://www.talyandruss.com/port/montage/upgrades/circee.jpg

  11. Kristian
    August 13th, 2013 at 3:48 am [Reply]

    Heathcliff: Also camel

    B.C.: Ah, yes, the txt oaves of Prince Valiant. One of the best jokes here ever. Made me wish Josh would go on holiday more often.

  12. Liam
    August 13th, 2013 at 4:21 am [Reply]

    Spiderman-Oh and we’re also out of gas.

    Crankshaft-For endangering lives over the years we want to reward you for it.

    JP-That outfit is not skimpy enough to snap.

    Love Is-Am I pregnant?

    MT-A million years ago there were shopping centers and homes as far as the eye could see. And wisecracking dinosaurs who wore clothes roamed the land.

    MW-”I have always dreamed of being in a drag act.”

    Archie-And speaking of shaving. Archie would like for you to shave, Veronica. He says it’s like the Seventies never ended down there.

    RMMD-The writer must obviously be British because no American says holiday we say vacation.

  13. Cloudbuster
    August 13th, 2013 at 5:14 am [Reply]

    JP: Fan service! (A.K.A. another day’s work for Mike Manley)

  14. John C Fremont
    August 13th, 2013 at 5:14 am [Reply]

    MT – If Rusty has trouble imagining what Lost Forest looked like millions of years ago, Mark can always show him Sunday’s Mark Trail. Of course, since he is Mark Trail, I guess he’d have to refer to it as “Sunday’s Me.”

    Thanks, Unca Lumpy!! It’s been swell!

  15. Cloudbuster
    August 13th, 2013 at 5:16 am [Reply]

    MW: Yes, I feel for the poor guy, holding down a cushy civil service job in today’s economy of high unemployment. Oh, wait, no I don’t. Shut the fuck up, you whiny bitch.

  16. Chaze
    August 13th, 2013 at 5:16 am [Reply]

    9CL – This has to be Brooke’s homage to The Marx Brothers. Today’s strip is straight out of Duck Soup. Duck Soup is a comic masterpiece. 9CL? Well, not so much.

    ASM – Further proof that snipers are useless shooting at things close to them. Spider-Man 15 feet away on the side of a building? Ptwannng – no dice. 100 yards away in a moving truck? Bingo! We got a tire! By the way, Rosa is Tarantula’s sister’s name. Of course it is. What else could it be?

  17. Old Folkie
    August 13th, 2013 at 5:24 am [Reply]

    RMMD: “yes we’ll take a bloody holiday – now get your hand out of Rex’s pants!”

    JP: Novel way for “outing” herself.

  18. Droopy Says
    August 13th, 2013 at 5:27 am [Reply]

    @Chaze (#16): Of course the snipers were helpless. Somebody forgot to tell them it’s night time. And the sister is named Rosa? Well, execution is a fate better than Gunther.

    Same problem in the Phantom: it’s night, so why is the sky a light blue? Why can we even see the sky so close to the horizon in Manhattan?

  19. Old Folkie
    August 13th, 2013 at 5:28 am [Reply]

    BTW – thanks, Uncle Lumpy, I love being able to post first thing in the morning!

  20. Cloudbuster
    August 13th, 2013 at 5:33 am [Reply]

    RMMD: OK, not to question a gifted medical professional like Dr. Rex, but is this really all he’s going to do? From what I could find out, St. John’s Wort in any dosage is unlikely to have caused the effects described. Ginko Balboa may cause heart palpitations and dizziness, but Milton actually passed out, possibly had a seizure. Ginko Balboa can cause seizures, but it’s only ever been seen in people who already have epilepsy.

    Isn’t Rex going to do a toxicology? Liver function test? MRI? Anything? Shouldn’t Milton remain near home for a couple weeks, to see if the effects disappear?

    No, Rex has obviously been paid off by Heather in the insurance scam. “You should take a vacation Milton, preferably to someplace remote and tropical, with poor medical care!”

    I also find it difficult to believe that a top engineer, with the mindset that goes along with that, would buy into the “if a little is good, a lot must be better” approach to drugs. You’re supposed to take maybe two 120mg GB capsules per day. A sane person would no more “down them like candy” than they’d down handfuls of aspirin.

  21. Cloudbuster
    August 13th, 2013 at 5:38 am [Reply]

    9CL: “This court was a mockery long before she sat here.” Um, well, can’t disagree with that.

    Alternately:
    “This court strip was a mockery long before she sat here.” FIFY

  22. seismic-2
    August 13th, 2013 at 5:53 am [Reply]

    FW: “And you baton twirlers – see if you can tell your right hand from your… uh…”

  23. gleeb
    August 13th, 2013 at 5:54 am [Reply]

    Thank you, Uncle Lumpy. That will keep me from going mad because of Crankshaft.

    3G-As a fashion professional, Zoe can’t believe a cartoon governor is happy going around with his collar open.

    ‘bean-Ack. Maybe I will go mad because of Crankshaft anyway. Batiuk really does think this kind of thing is hilarious, doesn’t he? Anyway, why is Deaf Adder Dinkle up there, anyway? Did his wife toss him over Niagara Falls, so now he can come back and haunt the damn band, like some sub-Lisa?

    Judge Privileged-Yes, a beautiful wife who kills anyone who looks askance at her isn’t enough. Randy must also have her public embarrassment.

    Machiavelli Worth-Town Hall job? Here is a chance for Mary to meddle her way into control of local government.

    Believe it or Else-A zip gun for our century.

  24. old goat
    August 13th, 2013 at 6:09 am [Reply]

    Crankshaft: Montgomery County? That’s down in the southeast. Medina County is Batiukland.

  25. The Restless Mouse
    August 13th, 2013 at 6:10 am [Reply]

    At first, I thought that the Dick Tracy featuring “ModRed” was some sort of Archie Comics reboot.

  26. pugfuggly
    August 13th, 2013 at 6:11 am [Reply]

    Thanks for the hilarious week, Uncle Lumpy!

    C’shaft Crankshaft really does look touched in that last panel. “You guys really ‘get’ me! Not like those hardcases at the ATF and Homeland Security…”

    DT Hmmm, looks like Archie has lured Betty’s young cousin to an abandoned building with a camera so he can…oh, Dick Tracy.

    Heathcliff is starting to look more and more like the Twilight Zone episode with the all-powerful, mind reading kid who sends people who displease him to the ‘cornfield’.

    “Boy, that cat sure is in a hurry…ha ha…and I’m very happy about him having access to such a large weapon…placed conveniently next to our house…it was a GOOD thing that you made it appear here, Heathcliff, a really GOOD THING…”

  27. Casey, Crime Photographer
    August 13th, 2013 at 6:30 am [Reply]

    Nancy: Methinks Gilchrist has transmorphed his girlfriends/daughters Shellby and Lucy into frogs. WOTTA GUY!

    Today Acacianpaladin writes in the comments section of GoComics.com:

    “I hope the Comics Curmudgeon discovers this strip sometime.”

    OUCH!

  28. pugfuggly
    August 13th, 2013 at 6:32 am [Reply]

    JP And now, a brief message from the Breast Council of America…Have you had your 2 a day?

    MT “You can imagine what is looked like millions of years ago…” TRMT, is this is hinting at an upcoming story where Mark meets and/or punches a dinosaur? Because….because oh man….oh god….I don’t even care how it happens! Time travel, forgotten valley, magic wizard. Hell, just have Rusty take a nap under a tree and dream it all, I’ll accept anything to have that it happen…

    MW I imagine this is the point where they tell the guests that they don’t have to go home. That the organization behind the resort has set up a perfect society here in the desert, where they await the coming of Zoltan the magnificent who will spirit them away to the fourth moon of Jupiter when they have proven themselves worthy…

  29. Ben Wasabi
    August 13th, 2013 at 6:44 am [Reply]

    Nancy: “Tonight we’re having frog legs for dinner!”

    @Casey, Crime Photographer (#27):

    Maybe Guy Gilchrist likes his frog legs extra creepy crispy.

  30. CanuckDownSouth
    August 13th, 2013 at 6:47 am [Reply]

    MW – you enjoy this resort so much that you dread when your time is up… so you spend this precious time sitting on a dingy folding chair complaining about this instead of doing one of the fun activities you’re going to miss when your vacation is over?

    MT – are we talking continental plate location, or lat/long coordinates? Because there was probably a time when this location was ocean. Think Open Water with sea monster predators…

  31. Amos Snarkadder
    August 13th, 2013 at 6:49 am [Reply]

    MW The circle gets ugly when Mary shares that she has absolutely nothing to do and nothing to complain about.

  32. Droopy Says
    August 13th, 2013 at 6:52 am [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#28): From the things TRMT has said, this Mark Trail story might be a riff on The Ghost of Slumber Mountain:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H7sj4zCXMHs

    Mark telling Rusty a wild story by the light of a campfire–can it get any better? For once I am unironically looking forward to an MT story.

  33. Amos Snarkadder
    August 13th, 2013 at 7:00 am [Reply]

    MW “I love being at this resort so much… I almost dread going home!”
    An hour later, after Mary “shares” her favorite platitudes and vignettes…
    “Well, okay. If I pack quickly, I can make the 2:20 flight back to Westview.”

  34. Little Guy
    August 13th, 2013 at 7:03 am [Reply]

    Thanks, Uncle Lumpy, and congrats!

    JP: “Community Love Boat” presents: CIApril’s Boobs.

  35. bbofun
    August 13th, 2013 at 7:03 am [Reply]

    FW- So, every single time whatshername refers to her father, she has to say “my father, John Darling;” during the whole “Frankie the evil bio-dad” sequence we had to endure at least two full recaps of the plot; and we have to be reminded on a consistent basis that Lisa died of cancer- but you aren’t going to mention Crankshaft by name, in a situation where his name would be entirely likely to be used? Oy.

    PIGPORN- So, in editing the play and re-ordering the scenes (which I have no strong objection to, in translating the play to a different medium). Brooke has actually managed to make one of the more ludicrous (but plot-necessary) moments of the play (the fact that Romeo is asked by Lord Capulet’s servant to read him the guest-list of the party, as the servant can’t read it, and is suppose to invite the people on the list) even MORE ludicrous, by suggesting that Romeo and Benvolio would, for some unstated reason, be prowling around the Capulet’s house, and would have the guest list fall into their hands (which, incidentally, means the invitations would never be delivered).

    This reminds me of something I just went through- I am playing the Bishop in a production Of LES MISERABLES, who only appears in a brief scene at the beginning, so i then fade into the chorus. One of the other things I do in the show is play a man run over by a cart, who is rescued by Jean Valjean. The director suggested that that man should actually be the Bishop. I pointed out that not only does the man not give any indication that he recognizes Valjean, but Valjean gives no such indication either, despite how important the Bishop was to him. Plus, the scene is set 5 years later and several hundred miles away from the scene with the Bishop, meaning that the director is asking for the audience to believe a coincidence even greater than the idea that Javert, who knew Valjean when he was a convict, would later be assigned to lead the police in the same town where Valean, now living under an assumed name, is the mayor- which, at least, you can defend by saying “that’s what Victor Hugo wrote!” In the end, the director decided I would just “remind” Valjean of the Bishop.

    JP- I’ll be in my bunk.

  36. Elk Meadow
    August 13th, 2013 at 7:11 am [Reply]

    Thank you, Uncle Lumpy!

    Especial thanks for bringing two of my favorites–Prince Valiant and Dick Tracy–to this blog’s front page!

  37. Ed Dravecky
    August 13th, 2013 at 7:17 am [Reply]

    Judge Parker is the perfect strip for convicts, Amish teens, the elderly, and other folks without ready access to Google’s porn-finding capabilities. Why the rest of us are reading it is a mystery.

  38. jim, some guy in iowa
    August 13th, 2013 at 7:19 am [Reply]

    the Phantom: quite a bit clumsier than I expected him to be. Possibly wearing a cap instead of the fedora would have made him less conspicuous, but in this de-populated version of New York maybe nothing would have done that

  39. Dennis Jimenez
    August 13th, 2013 at 7:20 am [Reply]

    BC – Semaphore – what you have to use when you can’t afford to communicate with a full-blown phore….

    Crankshaft – So, now I’m getting where the term, “Special Ed” comes from….

    DT – At least Led Zeppelin was able to get a decent song out’a this….

    Heath – My caption would have been, “When he said he was going out for a blow job, I had no idea!”

    Adios Amigos, DJ.

  40. jim, some guy in iowa
    August 13th, 2013 at 7:30 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#32): maybe it will be a dream sequence with Rusty and Mark as cavemen hanging out with the dinosaurs? ( I realize that isn’t historically accurate, but….)

  41. Ratiocinator
    August 13th, 2013 at 7:33 am [Reply]

    9CL: Much as I hate to say anybody in this strip is right, Thorax is right.

    ASM: But at least there’s good news: the Tarantula just saved a bunch of money on his car insurance by switching to GEICO.

    JP: YES APRIL I APPROVE!!!!

    Slylock: That horse is going to eat those eyes! What kind of diet is that???

  42. Walker of Dog
    August 13th, 2013 at 7:35 am [Reply]

    MW: That woman in the middle of the first panel has tilted to one side to facilitate the discreet release of some intestinal gas. The sharing circle is about to get very oblong.

    Plug: When did Missouri approve same-sex manimal marriage? Branson: the Sodom of the Ozarks

    FC: Without a DVD player (way to plan ahead, MOTHER), the children will have to entertain themselves by huffing Grandma’s Ben-Gay.

    JP: “Stand back… farther back… don’t mind the railing…”

    MT: “Rusty, you can imagine what it looked like millions of years ago, while I take a nap and dream about winning the Home Schooler of the Year award!”

    Thanks for babysitting, U-Lump.

  43. Liam
    August 13th, 2013 at 7:35 am [Reply]

    MT-”Well imagine no more, Rusty, because my good friend the Doctor will take you to that time and let you see what it looks like for yourself.”

  44. pugfuggly
    August 13th, 2013 at 7:38 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#32):

    Oh god YES!!!!! I cannot wait for this…

  45. Ratiocinator
    August 13th, 2013 at 7:48 am [Reply]

    Thanks for filling in, Uncle Lumpy!

    @Droopy Says (#5):

    This had me singing, if you can call it that

    I don’t, I call it caterwauling, and I heard it all the way over here. You’re terrible, Droopy, just terrible.

    @Chaze (#16):

    Further proof that snipers are useless shooting at things close to them.

    Not only that, but when their scopes are zoomed in you can walk right up and backstab them before they even notice you’re there. Which they totally deserve for throwing those jars of urine at you and your friends all the time.

    (Team Fortress 2 reference, for those who aren’t familiar with the game.)

    @Cloudbuster (#20): Yeah, I’d have thought he would have tried to narrow down exactly what was wrong with Milton before sending him on his merry way.

  46. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    August 13th, 2013 at 7:54 am [Reply]

    Frazz: if this entire multi-week story arc was a lead-in to today’s joke, I can forgive Mr. Mallett. I belly-laughed.

    A&J: spit it out, damn ye, spit it out! (guess we now know that Arlo isn’t Scottish.)

    LaCuc pokes the fourth wall today.

    Bizarro: “I’m thinking, I’m thinking!”

    JP: ahhhhh, service.

    SF: ahhhhh, booze.

    RwO: ummmm, service and booze?

    MG&G: /facepalm.

    6Cx: which is why you wash your veggies, folks!

    rMC: d’awwwwwww.

  47. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    August 13th, 2013 at 7:55 am [Reply]

    Love Is. . . the hentai x-ray tag. . . .

    *brainbleach, STAT!*

  48. mvg
    August 13th, 2013 at 7:57 am [Reply]

    DT: Okayyy… so the ramshackle abandoned granary was Tracy’s “only shelter” from the storm. As opposed to the inhabited farmhouse that’s only about 100 yards away, judging by yesterday’s strip? I suppose he knew intuitively the house didn’t contain enough rats.

  49. Lumaca Morente
    August 13th, 2013 at 8:10 am [Reply]

    Dick Tracy: omg, not that I should talk, but Jimmy Olsen there is HIDEOUS.

  50. Esther Blodgett
    August 13th, 2013 at 8:32 am [Reply]

    FW: You know what would be hilarious? A catastrophic structural failure of that cherry-picker. Followed by a stupid joke. Yeah.

    JP: Will Randy’s Speedo get equal time to April’s bikini? Will it? Huh?

    Curtis: So the Comic Police come after Goat for making a weak pun about “getting Hi,” but are nowhere to be found when Barry takes a leak on-panel? Where’s the outrage, people? Where’s the Occupy movement? Where are the badly spelled tweets blaming Obama?

  51. Lumaca Morente
    August 13th, 2013 at 8:34 am [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#28): Mark Trail/Alley Oop crossover!

  52. Mikey
    August 13th, 2013 at 8:38 am [Reply]

    MT- “You can imagine what it looked like millions of years ago! Here Rusty! Lick this little star tattoo and we’ll check out the dinosaurs in a little while!”

  53. TheDiva
    August 13th, 2013 at 8:39 am [Reply]

    @bbofun (#35): Wow, Hugo loved his serendipity but that would have been one turn of the screw too far (especially since, if I recall correctly, the Bishop was dead by that point in the novel).

    That said, I think double-casting the Bishop and Fauchelevent is a neat idea.

  54. Lumaca Morente
    August 13th, 2013 at 8:40 am [Reply]

    @jim, some guy in iowa (#38): Phantom: And who knew it was supposed to be night?

  55. Roto13
    August 13th, 2013 at 8:41 am [Reply]

    Farewell, Uncle Lumpy. Thanks for another great week-or-so.

  56. Hibbleton
    August 13th, 2013 at 8:42 am [Reply]

    RMMD: Normally, when a hot head like Milton doesn’t notice that his young wife has her thumb hooked into his doctor’s waist band right in front of him, it says something about the advanced state of his Alzheimer’s. This being Rex, it says nothing.

    MW: The mayor of Charterstone comes clean.

    JP: I’m just imagining what these panels would have looked like had not the syndicate come down on Manley after the last boob fest.

  57. Lumaca Morente
    August 13th, 2013 at 8:43 am [Reply]

    All together now: “We love you, Lumpy, oh yes we do; we love you, Lumpy, and that is true; when you’re not near us, we’re blue, Uncle Lumpy, we love you.”

  58. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    August 13th, 2013 at 8:43 am [Reply]

    MW: “Hmph,” thinks Mary. “A boring job? You call that ‘sharing’? Repressed memories of abuse, simmering loathing for one’s spouse, shameful sexual proclivities, a secret desire to be an award-winning cake decorator—that’s sharing. I can get this crap from Jeff Corey at home.”

    JP: The print WashPost replaced today’s strip, randomly inserting an old one of April being interviewed by the detective. While I have no particular fanservice dog in this fight, I am pretty appalled that “April in a bikini” might be objectionable, and “that little shit Barry taking a piss” is not.

    And buy-bye, Uncle Lumpy! Thanks!

  59. Mikey
    August 13th, 2013 at 8:44 am [Reply]

    FW-”That sounds like something that old guy who drove our band bus used to say. He’s dead now, thank God.”

  60. TheDiva
    August 13th, 2013 at 8:45 am [Reply]

    Thanks again, Uncle Lumpy! We always have fun when you come to visit!

    C’shaft: I’d like to know what actual firefighters think of today’s strip. I imagine it falls somewhere on the scale between amused contempt and disgusted anger.

    DT: Man, I remember that arc. The bad guy kept waiting for Dick Tracy to fall asleep, and the audience already had. Good snark fodder, that.

  61. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    August 13th, 2013 at 8:47 am [Reply]

  62. Mikey
    August 13th, 2013 at 8:48 am [Reply]

    MW-”A tedious desk job at my local town hall! Incredibly boring! If only my cake decorating skills were better! Can’t someone help me ???!!!”

  63. jim, some guy in iowa
    August 13th, 2013 at 8:49 am [Reply]

    @Esther Blodgett (#50): re: Randy Parker, speedos, and Mike Manley’s continued employment – one of those things doesn’t go with the other two. Double standards are alive and well – which is why I think Manley probably should tone down the t-n’-a again.

    well, that and I don’t want to have my delusions of adequacy shattered if Manley drew speedo wearing men like he draws pretty much every woman…

  64. Mibbitmaker
    August 13th, 2013 at 9:00 am [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#57): Yeah, yeah, yeah!

  65. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    August 13th, 2013 at 9:01 am [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#61): Hee! (Except I never was much of a Jagermeister girl.)

  66. Mikey
    August 13th, 2013 at 9:04 am [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#58): BBUB!! AArghh…I didn’t see your earlier cake decorator mention. I couldn’t have imagined that anyone else would have noticed a similarity to celebrity Cake Super MegaStar John Dill. Also, I can’t wait til they get to Mary in the circle and she says “pass..”

  67. TheDiva
    August 13th, 2013 at 9:05 am [Reply]

    9CL: Stick to the softcore porn, Brooke. Satire is not your forte.

    A3G: Is this the Apartment 3-G version of The Crying Game?

    FW: This strip ranks alongside Mr. B Natural on the list of things most likely to make a person run away from any form of musical expression ever.

    Luann: Replace “fainted” with “rolled on the floor laughing hysterically,” and sure…

    MT: “Giant clip-art dinosaurs, as far as the eye could see!”

    MW: “Mary hears you. Mary don’t care.”

    Pibgorn: Okay, the Capulet servant had a stack of invitations, right? He dropped one (1), which Romeo picked up. A single invitation, bound for a single person or family which was invited to this party. So why does it have the name of EVERY SINGLE PERSON INVITED TO THE PARTY on it?

    In other news, I want to smack the smug of Sethvolio’s face.

    Pluggers vacation in boring places.

  68. The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan
    August 13th, 2013 at 9:06 am [Reply]

    I hope that if I am an oaf-corpse doomed to wander the streets delivering messages between warring parties, it’s Uncle Lumpy writing on my tunic.

  69. Illustrator Steve
    August 13th, 2013 at 9:07 am [Reply]

    MT – “You can imagine what it looked like millions of years ago, Rusty.”

    “You’re gosh-darned right I should, Mark … after all, back when that valley was a lake I stood on a dock down there holding my rod for millions of years while waiting patiently for you to return and take me fishing!”

    “Yeah, okay! Just go ahead and rub it in, Rusty! You obviously don’t realize how long it would take me to carve my magazine stories into those stone tablets … not to mention how difficult it always was lugging those damn things all the way to Bill Ellis’s cave for publishing in the northern part of the lave flow!”

  70. Odie Odo
    August 13th, 2013 at 9:10 am [Reply]

    LeftyBosco Picture Show: It’s Alfred Hitchcock’s birthday AND it’s International Lefthanders Day. Today’s “LeftyBosco” manages to evoke both*.

    *I’m assuming the “Lefty” refers to the artist’s handedness and not his political leanings!

  71. kingklash
    August 13th, 2013 at 9:11 am [Reply]

    That would make a good panel for an almost “Garfield Without Garfield”-style alteration. Just remove the cannon. Leaving Heathcliff in the sky with his helmet, and revel in the strangeness of it all.

  72. Sequitur
    August 13th, 2013 at 9:11 am [Reply]

    MT: Is Mark about to team up with Alley Oop?

  73. Mibbitmaker
    August 13th, 2013 at 9:17 am [Reply]

    DT: In the actual Locher sequence (hell, in just about EVERY Locher era sequence), the close-ups dominate the strips every panel, so much so that they made modern-era A3G panels look like panoramic views by comparison.

    FW: Aw, man, isn’t Cranky bad enough in his OWN strip?!

    A3G: That Zoey looks like Margo and is twice as mean (in that same soapy way).

    MW: Well, you’re now in a tedious comic strip. Good luck with that, Mary Resort Victim #2.

    MT: “Imagine dinosaurs, you mean? What do I look like? Calvin?!”
    (what Rusty looks like being a generally dicey subject…..)

  74. Mr. Yezpitelok
    August 13th, 2013 at 9:25 am [Reply]

    @Odie Odo (#70):

    Alfred Hitchcock cast at least THREE left-handed lead actresses in his films
    (Kim Novak, Tippi Hedren and Eva Marie Saint), so it’s all good.

  75. Odie Odo
    August 13th, 2013 at 9:28 am [Reply]

    @Mr. Yezpitelok (#74):

    Kim Novak, Tippi Hedren and Eva Marie Saint walk into a bar…

  76. bats :[
    August 13th, 2013 at 9:28 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#5): “When Rusties Roamed the Earth!”! I am SO there!

    Oh, and the ultimate cheap ‘n’ nasty staycation — visit Gramma for a week and shorten her life by a year at least…

  77. Illustrator Steve
    August 13th, 2013 at 9:30 am [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#72): Probably … after all, Alley Opp is (quote) a mean motor scooter and a bad go-getter while Mark is..um, well, you know … a mean fists-o-juster and a bad story writer .

  78. Lumaca Morente
    August 13th, 2013 at 9:32 am [Reply]

    @Odie Odo (#75): Dream on, Odie.

  79. Dale
    August 13th, 2013 at 9:33 am [Reply]

    MARY WORTH

    You don’t have to go back to your comfy job. (Do not resign: just don’t show up.)

    Become a Lion Tamer!

  80. Firefly
    August 13th, 2013 at 9:35 am [Reply]

    MW: I wanted to be a lumberjack.

  81. Lumaca Morente
    August 13th, 2013 at 9:38 am [Reply]

    @Firefly (#80): …and that’s ok.
    //your earworm for the day. You’re welcome.

  82. Écureuil Écumant
    August 13th, 2013 at 9:39 am [Reply]

    @bbofun (#35): Stranger coincidences than that have happened in France!

    “A well-known example of synchronicity is the true story of the French writer Émile Deschamps who in 1805 was treated to some plum pudding by the stranger Monsieur de Fortgibu. Ten years later, he encountered plum pudding on the menu of a Paris restaurant, and wanted to order some, but the waiter told him the last dish had already been served to another customer, who turned out to be de Fortgibu.

    Many years later, in 1832, Émile Deschamps was at a dinner, and was offered plum pudding. He recalled the earlier incident and told his friends that only de Fortgibu was missing to make the setting complete — and in the same instant the now senile de Fortgibu entered the room.”

  83. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    August 13th, 2013 at 9:40 am [Reply]

    @Odie Odo (#70): *waves left hand in celebration*

  84. Liam
    August 13th, 2013 at 9:41 am [Reply]

    @bbofun (#35):

    They dare not say Crankshaft’s name lest they summon him and his god awful puns.

  85. Sequitur
    August 13th, 2013 at 9:45 am [Reply]

    @Dale (#79):

    Or an Anteater Tamer.

  86. Liam
    August 13th, 2013 at 9:45 am [Reply]

    Spiderman-”Damnit! I knew I should have fixed that spare tire.”

  87. debussy fields
    August 13th, 2013 at 9:46 am [Reply]

    FC– “Will those things work in my VCR? If not, I’ll read the back labels to you at bedtime tonight.”

  88. Sequitur
    August 13th, 2013 at 9:48 am [Reply]

    @Odie Odo (#70):

    I notice that I’m left handed in a mirror.

  89. casino LF
    August 13th, 2013 at 9:48 am [Reply]

    DT: YOU PEOPLE?!?

    FW: Isn’t this jerkoff retired? Go away, dude.

    JP: If your bikini is a pound away from snapping I just … wait, that just doesn’t make any sense? Is it made from actual elastic? What?

    9CL: Why. Why forever.

  90. Naked Bunny with a Whip
    August 13th, 2013 at 9:50 am [Reply]

    I’m glad they put the circle of stars around the cannon in Heathcliff so we don’t think that the cat has gotten himself involved in the American Civil War or something.

  91. The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan
    August 13th, 2013 at 9:57 am [Reply]

    The Amazing Spider-Man: No run-flat tires on your APV? What kind of crappy banana republic is this, anyway? The US must really hate Costa Verde if they’re not willing to sell arms to them.

    I for one am looking forward to Apt. 3-G‘s replay of “Who’s Afraid Of Virginia Woolf?” with Pepto-Bismol dresses.

    9 Chickweed Lane: I would say that McEldowney couldn’t embarrass himself any more than with this morning’s panels, but you and I both know it isn’t true. Much like musical theater, there’s always a new low to be had with this strip. Maybe Pibgorn will do “Springtime for Hitler” and take our minds off this misery.

    Cul de Sac: In my feed, this strip comes right after 9CL. Moving from consistently one of the worst strips to one of the best (even in reruns) is giving me whiplash.

    Judge Parker: So did SpyGirl[*] kill The Woman in the Floppy Hat with the old exploding bikini trick? Because that would be worth the price of admission.

    Mark Trail: “I sure can, Mark! It was covered with forests and inhabited by hideous creatures!” <Smirking> “It sure was, kid, it sure was.”

    Mary Worth: What’s worse? The idea that Mary might try to – ahem – spice up Mr. Loser’s life, or the thought that it might result in a pink cream cake?

  92. Dale
    August 13th, 2013 at 9:59 am [Reply]

    MARK TRAIL

    Seriously, what IS Rusty’s issue about fishing with Mark?

    He can go fishing by himself. Mark can’t teach him anything.
    Consider Shelley’s first and only lesson – stand in cold deep running water and learn to use a fly rod by watching your husband.

    If it’s companionship, they do go places together: beaches, trying to frame professional fishermen, capturing otters. What more could a boy ask for?

  93. Everything Is Better with Monkeys
    August 13th, 2013 at 10:03 am [Reply]

    Dick: wife/stepmother has gone missing, but neither seem all that concerned. Oh, there she is.

    Pluggers: I call BS. Pluggers where plaid shirts nthis is the first time I remember seeing a Plugger in something with words on it. Either these two are fakes, or all the other ones have been b

  94. Lumaca Morente
    August 13th, 2013 at 10:03 am [Reply]

    @The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan (#91): “it might result in a pink cream cake” – is that what the kids are calling it these days?

  95. The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan
    August 13th, 2013 at 10:04 am [Reply]

    @Liam (#86): If they have to jump that truck, we’ll be well into ethnic stereotype territory. Further into it, anyway.

  96. Everything Is Better with Monkeys
    August 13th, 2013 at 10:04 am [Reply]

    Sigh, rested arm wrong on iPad… Let’s try again.

    Pluggers: I call BS. Pluggers where plaid shirts. This is the first time I remember seeing a Plugger in something with words on it. Either these two are fakes, or all the other ones have been been impostors.

  97. The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan
    August 13th, 2013 at 10:05 am [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#94): Ask the Gimp in Dick Tracy.

    …Aaaand there’s a sentence I never thought I would type.

  98. Everything Is Better with Monkeys
    August 13th, 2013 at 10:05 am [Reply]

    Wear, not where. I’m going to lock myself in a dark room for a while.

  99. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    August 13th, 2013 at 10:08 am [Reply]

    @Everything Is Better with Monkeys (#98): *lightbulb goes off*

    THAT is where Brooke got his current Pibgorn strip!!!!!!

  100. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    August 13th, 2013 at 10:08 am [Reply]

    *script*

  101. Ben Wasabi
    August 13th, 2013 at 10:08 am [Reply]

    @Mr. Yezpitelok (#74): Cloris Leachman, who’s currently appearing in Apt. 3-G as “Zoey,” is another left-handed actress.

  102. Ben Wasabi
    August 13th, 2013 at 10:15 am [Reply]

    @Everything Is Better with Monkeys (#98):

    Are you one of those tailless monkeys from Pago Pago?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qjVQd6O6VvE

  103. Chyron HR
    August 13th, 2013 at 10:15 am [Reply]

    So in today’s Judge Parker, Randy wants his hot girlfriend to gain weight.

    I mean, I don’t mind if Wilson is into that, it just seems like a project that he and Manley should work on privately instead of having it published in major newspapers (except the WaPo).

  104. erdmann
    August 13th, 2013 at 10:15 am [Reply]

    DT: I’m hoping that once Staton and Curtis wrap up the big showdown on the farm they’re apparently building to, one of the villains (Hy Pressure, perhaps) escapes, only to be found later, strangled with a chain, a dead rat on his chest.

  105. bats :[
    August 13th, 2013 at 10:16 am [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#61): bourbon babe, the early years? I coulda sworn it was she at the end of this year’s spring semester…

    @The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan (#68): we should all be so fortunate. “Braaaaaaaaaains…oh, and a message for you, sir.”

    MW: “What? WHAT? Speak up, man…I can’t hear you!”

  106. Jim in Wisc.
    August 13th, 2013 at 10:21 am [Reply]

    Baitle Beeley: HA HA HA! It’s funny because Sarge has terrible hygiene habits.

    Crankenschäft: What they should have given him was intensive psychotherapy to help him deal with his chronic pyromania.

    Loser-Ann: First thing that came to mind was the Evil Conscience vs. Good Conscience scene from Animal House.

    Sexy Rexy: Milty thinks to himself, “Sure Rexy Baby, I’m going on a long holiday alright … touring his many business interests around the world. And you thought you could keep me away from my one true love. Heh, heh, heh, you damned fool.”

  107. bats :[
    August 13th, 2013 at 10:27 am [Reply]

    @Jim in Wisc. (#106): Milton gives a whole new meaning to “loose change”

    Thanks for watching after us, Uncle Lumpy! Can I have a quarter now?

  108. J. Robert Oppenheimer
    August 13th, 2013 at 10:35 am [Reply]

    @J. Robert Oppenheimer (#8): Oh, and you spelled “Mordred” as “Modred”.

  109. erdmann
    August 13th, 2013 at 10:38 am [Reply]

    JP: Show, don’t tell!

    9CL: Remember when Albert the Alligator was on trial for eating Pup Dog? And Pup Dog was actually locked in a cabinet the whole time? Man, “Pogo” was a great strip. You know, I think this is gonna become “Pogo.” In fact, it is “Pogo!” Right now, it is! You see it, guys? Huh? Huh? Little Arf n’ Nonny? The old sizzle grinder? “Good King Sauerkraut?” “We have met the enemy and he is us?” Oh, it’s not working, you guys. It’s not “Pogo!” It’s not! [Breaks down and weeps]

  110. Uncle Lumpy
    August 13th, 2013 at 10:42 am [Reply]

  111. Horace Broon
    August 13th, 2013 at 10:50 am [Reply]

    GT: I don’t even watch wrestling, and even I know the correct terms are “babyface” and “heel”.

    MW: Mary looks disappointed. “A boring job? Really? I can meddle that one in my sleep! I thought this was going to provide me with a challenge!”

    Phantom: “It’s New York! People are on the streets all night!” Show, don’t tell.

    RMMD: “We’re going to take a bloody holiday, old chap! Pip-pip, cheerio, and have I mentioned I’m English lately?”

  112. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    August 13th, 2013 at 10:51 am [Reply]

    @erdmann (#109):

    By the end of the trial, ol’ Albert Alligator almost convinced hisself that he ate the poor ol’ pup dog. He remembeed eating something tasty that night … and it turns out that the ol’ pup dog’s name is Tasty. So Albert must of done it!

  113. the REAL Mark Trail
    August 13th, 2013 at 10:55 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#5): CLOSE! But check out Ghost of Slumber Mountain instead

    @pugfuggly (#28): wait for it… wait for it …

    @Droopy Says (#32): I appreciate your kind words!

    @TheDiva (#67): Diva :( I am about to show Mark Trail readers something that has NEVER been shown in a Mark Trail daily… and you actually use the term “clip art”? tell ya what Diva, I’m not going to take that personally, rather I’ll sit here and trust that you will be amazed at what I’m about to show you. Even if you don’t like the art, I am about to add a new “chapter” to the history of Mark Trail, and quite frankly, I’m proud of myself

  114. The Hand of Downpuppy
    August 13th, 2013 at 11:04 am [Reply]

    Something else that’s NEVER been shown before – Zoey in A3G has developed a unique hold on her glass of transmission oil – somehow it sits on the base of the palm and her/his knuckles. Or maybe her fingers are all a joint short.

  115. The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan
    August 13th, 2013 at 11:13 am [Reply]

    I’m calling it now: Mary’s time in Arizona will consist of a few quick interferences in various people’s lives before she returns to Santa Royale. Call it a mixed meddley.

  116. Vince M
    August 13th, 2013 at 11:18 am [Reply]

    I’m really hoping tomorrow’s Mark trail continues the narrative, but now Mark and Rusty are wearing cartoonish one-shouldered cavemen furs, carrying big knobbly clubs.

  117. Sequitur
    August 13th, 2013 at 11:22 am [Reply]

    @Vince M (#116):

    And their names have changed to “Fred” and “Barney.”

  118. Odie Odo
    August 13th, 2013 at 11:25 am [Reply]

    @J. Robert Oppenheimer (#108): And now you’ve managed to MORTIFY Uncle Lumpy. Seriously, dude, I hope you’re happy with yourself.

    COME BACK, UNCLE LUMPY!!!!

  119. seismic-2
    August 13th, 2013 at 11:26 am [Reply]

    MT: If the upcoming story arc results in Andy’s saving Kelly Welly by repelling an attack from a pack of villainous allosauruses, it will be the greatest comic strip in the history of ever. Roy Lichtenstein will return from the dead just to steal it and sell a painting of it for tens of millions of dollars.

  120. Uncle Lumpy
    August 13th, 2013 at 11:28 am [Reply]

    @Odie Odo (#118):

    Nah, I’m good. If folks can’t obsess about minutiae in comic strips, what the hell are we all doing here?

  121. Congo Bill Bailey
    August 13th, 2013 at 11:30 am [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#117):

    Or “Wilma” and “Betty.” (Different strokes for different folks…)

  122. Northern lurker
    August 13th, 2013 at 11:31 am [Reply]

    MW: I would thinking a sharing circle at this wellness spa would involve a bunch of 30-somethings talking about their visionary experiences and power animals rather than a bunch of boring 60 year olds droning about their boring lives.

  123. Lumaca Morente
    August 13th, 2013 at 11:42 am [Reply]

    @Northern lurker (#122): Hey! I and the majority of 60-ish Mudgeons resemble that remark!

  124. northernlurker
    August 13th, 2013 at 11:46 am [Reply]

    @123. For the record I’m 60-ish too.

  125. Sequitur
    August 13th, 2013 at 11:47 am [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#123):

    Yeah. Those of us in our 60s don’t drone. That’s been passed on the the 80 year olds.

    Gosh, do we have any Mudgeons in their 80s?

  126. Anonymous
    August 13th, 2013 at 11:50 am [Reply]

    @Odie Odo (#75): Kim Novak, Tippi Hedren and Eva Marie Saint walk into a bar…

    …and Amos has to throw a napkin over his lap.

  127. Tom, the Sailor Man
    August 13th, 2013 at 11:51 am [Reply]

    Whoops – 126 was me.

  128. Baka Gaijin
    August 13th, 2013 at 11:51 am [Reply]

    Thaaaaaanks, Uncle Luuuuuumpy! [/Lisa Lubner and Todd Dilamuca]

  129. Baka Gaijin
    August 13th, 2013 at 11:53 am [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#125): I’ll take post-60 Curmudgeon musings over a gross of under-30 hipster musings any day. In case I wasn’t clear, that was a compliment.

  130. Cloudbuster
    August 13th, 2013 at 11:58 am [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#129): I’d be really interested to see a demographic breakdown of Mudgeons. I’m gonna be 50 this year and I get the impression I’m somewhere in the middle of the curve. Maybe even on the low end!

  131. Sequitur
    August 13th, 2013 at 11:59 am [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#129):

    Thanks for the compliment. Now, get off my lawn!

  132. Sequitur
    August 13th, 2013 at 12:03 pm [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#130):

    We’ve got 20-something Commodorejohn and Austria holding up the low end and doing a fine job. Those are the ones I know about.

  133. Amos Snarkadder
    August 13th, 2013 at 12:06 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#125): Tom the Sailor man says he is 126!

  134. Amos Snarkadder
    August 13th, 2013 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

    @northernlurker (#124): For the record, I’m boring, too.

  135. Amos Snarkadder
    August 13th, 2013 at 12:09 pm [Reply]

  136. Liam
    August 13th, 2013 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

    Zits-And Jeremy is now twenty years out of date with technology. Now he’ll experience young people rolling their eyes at him. “What? You still use a device? Everyone who is everyone has an implant.”

  137. Amos Snarkadder
    August 13th, 2013 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#60):

    C’shaft: I’d like to know what actual firefighters think of today’s strip.

    Yes! Let’s ask Brad and Toni what they thin…
    Oh. Well, never mind.

  138. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    August 13th, 2013 at 12:23 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#105): No, that would be me at the beginning of the school year—all ready to kick some composition ass.

    By the end of the spring semester, I’m a bit more bedraggled.

  139. Amos Snarkadder
    August 13th, 2013 at 12:27 pm [Reply]

    Luann I guess this is all a build up to Toad’s wedding to show that Brad is “good” with children. Which is kinda funny because Shannon isn’t exactly a child. Or, for that matter, even vaguely human. She makes Rusty Trail look normal.

  140. Sequitur
    August 13th, 2013 at 12:27 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#138):

    Wow! Drinking beer. You must be bedraggled.

    I’m not sure that pic is SFBG.

  141. Amos Snarkadder
    August 13th, 2013 at 12:28 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#138): Oh my, it’s Helen Clark!

  142. White Rabbit
    August 13th, 2013 at 12:28 pm [Reply]

    9CL – This has dream sequence written all over it.

  143. Baka Gaijin
    August 13th, 2013 at 12:31 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#140): It’s NSFBG but not for the usual reason. What the frack IS that? A man who tripped at the Lancôme counter?

  144. Brad DeGroot and Toni Daytona
    August 13th, 2013 at 12:32 pm [Reply]

    Crankshaft — that’s just dirty. Why does everything have to be about sex?

  145. Sequitur
    August 13th, 2013 at 12:35 pm [Reply]

    @Brad DeGroot and Toni Daytona (#144):

    Please don’t use “Crankshaft” and “sex” in the same post.

    Thank you.

  146. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    August 13th, 2013 at 12:41 pm [Reply]

    @Amos Snarkadder (#139): Luann I guess this is all a build up to Toad’s wedding to show that Brad is “good” with children.

    Having the mind of a child does not automatically make one good with children. Quite the opposite. Having an ‘adult’ who is willing to sit there all day and play with dolls or make farting noises with his armpits may keep them entertained for a while, but the long term effects of having an ‘adult’ role model who doesn’t know any better than they do are quite detrimental. We even see this in strip – Shannon bit the finger of Brad’s boss, and Brad’s response was to praise her for it. An adult would have make it clear to Shannon that biting other people is wrong (“Don’t! Don’t! Don’t bite your friends!”), But B-Wad is only going to reinforce the child’s notion that everything they do is correct and that they know better than the grownups (Which, in this case, is a justifiable assumption).

  147. White Rabbit
    August 13th, 2013 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#77): I’ve an idea that when they sang it at a concert, the Hollywood Argyles DIDN’T say “motor-scooter,” if you know what I mean, and I think you do.

  148. Sequitur
    August 13th, 2013 at 12:53 pm [Reply]

    @White Rabbit (#147):

    I assume you mean words that rhyme with “Brother Tucker.”

  149. Cloudbuster
    August 13th, 2013 at 12:54 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#138): Wow, BB,U, you’re really out of control there — no one wears those puffy shoulders anymore!

  150. Liam
    August 13th, 2013 at 12:55 pm [Reply]

    MW-The life of a mayor is a rough one.

  151. Illustrator Steve
    August 13th, 2013 at 12:57 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#119): A couple of my brother-in-laws are ale-o-sauruses, or is it alcoholics … I always get those two mixed up!

  152. Liam
    August 13th, 2013 at 12:58 pm [Reply]

    Dick Tracy-”Well I’m not going to be taking inappropriate pictures of this pig-tailed blonde now.”

  153. Illustrator Steve
    August 13th, 2013 at 1:00 pm [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#123): I resemble that remark too! The thing these whippersnappers don’t realize is those of us in our sixties have already spent an entire decade in the sixties….man!

  154. Lumaca Morente
    August 13th, 2013 at 1:01 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#129): And I pictured you as an ironic hipster. (I actually picture you looking like Terry-Thomas)

  155. Jim in Wisc.
    August 13th, 2013 at 1:05 pm [Reply]

    Bloom County: Considering when this strip originally came out, this young lady would now be in her mid-to-late 20s? Which means her career aspiration would now be to appear on as many reality TV shows as possible.

    Dustin: What the government knows about you is literally nothing compared to what the credit card companies know about you. (And that’s your frightening thought for the day.)

  156. Shrug of Skull Island
    August 13th, 2013 at 1:13 pm [Reply]

    @the REAL Mark Trail (#y272):

    “I doubt the project will ever happen. I wouldn’t even know where to start… who to start talking to.”

    Well, Will Murray recently got permission from whoever owns the King Kong copywrite or trademark to do a “King Kong meets Doc Savage” novel, so he might be a good one to ask.

    http://www.linkedin.com/pub/will-murray/19/125/178

    Though I think you ought to shoot for a crossover/mashup of the ape movie with the New Testament — you could call it KING OF KINGS KONG.

  157. Illustrator Steve
    August 13th, 2013 at 1:15 pm [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#130): A few days ago we found within a few moments of curmudging back and forth that there were at least ten of us who responded to say they have never had or even feel the need of having a facebook account. Now the results are rolling in today about what the age of the average curmudgeon is. I’m waiting to hear from some of the curmudgeonosauruses out there because when compared to their old age I’ll be considered as young as someone like..say, Rusty Trail!

    // I’ve been called a dinosaur before, I’ve even, on occassion, refered to myself as a dinosaur but to my knowledge have never been called a curmudgeonosaurus…. yet!

  158. Shrug of Skull Island
    August 13th, 2013 at 1:15 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug of Skull Island (#156):

    “copyright,” of course, not “copywrite”

    Lucky I didn’t have to spell “Ookabolaponga”!

  159. Illustrator Steve
    August 13th, 2013 at 1:20 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#138): Rolling Rock! Good stuff! As their slogan goes… “From the glass lined tanks of old LaTrobe (r) !”

  160. Jerry
    August 13th, 2013 at 1:20 pm [Reply]

    I couldn’t help but notice how a 40-year-old Archie had somehow crossed over into Dick Tracy

  161. Alison
    August 13th, 2013 at 1:21 pm [Reply]

    “Mary Worth”: Oh boy, here comes a lecture from Mary about how you should love whatever job you have and how there is beauty and importance in all kinds of work. Fatty desk-job-having man will then thank her for the great advice instead of saying, “Excuse me, but at your age, aren’t you retired? I don’t think you have any room to talk.”

    “Luann”: When did Shannon turn into a suck-up? This strip would have been a million times better if she said, “And dat’s Toni, dead, because she realized she was marrying B-wad and she was so upset she had a heart attack.”

    “Heathcliff”: This strip gives me the willies. There’s something that is just “off” about it and not in a good way. The only thing I like is the Garbage Ape.

  162. Dennis Jimenez
    August 13th, 2013 at 1:22 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#150): Ribbed for her pleasure – just ask Lu Ann….

  163. Illustrator Steve
    August 13th, 2013 at 1:24 pm [Reply]

    @White Rabbit (#147): ….so, THAT’S why that bad ass bully in the bar called me a motor scooter … And all this time I thought it meant I needed a tune up!

  164. Illustrator Steve
    August 13th, 2013 at 1:26 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug of Skull Island (#156): Better yet…how ’bout QUEEN KONG?`

  165. Shrug of Skull Island
    August 13th, 2013 at 1:29 pm [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#164):

    QUEEN KONG? It’s been done — Brit movie which I’ve never seen, and Brit pb novelization which I have but have never read:

    http://www.amazon.com/Queen-Kong-James-Moffat/dp/0905018419

  166. Lumaca Morente
    August 13th, 2013 at 1:30 pm [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#130): We all did this last year (age survey) but some of us are of that age that we forget what we’ve done this morning, errr, I mean, last year.

  167. A-wel Cruiz
    August 13th, 2013 at 1:31 pm [Reply]

    Curtis: Jesus Barry, wait until Curtis is out of the room before you take a piss!

    Funky Winkerbean: In lieu of a joke, Batiuk makes a reference to his other comic. That’s kinda funny, right? RIGHT?

    Garfield: Apparently, Jon’s a Plugger.

    Love Is…: Should we start doing anal?

    Marmaduke: Be thankful you didn’t get eaten along with it.

    Pearls Before Swine: “And this reporter thinks it’s about f***ing time!”

    Pluggers: …and they all come in sizes XXL and above.

    Slylock Fox: I choose to view this as a before and after picture, and whatever was peeking out of the bucket was eaten by the horse.

  168. Lumaca Morente
    August 13th, 2013 at 1:32 pm [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#163): He called you a ‘mo-sco’??? Did you reply with “Smile when you call me that”?

  169. Alfred E. Neuman
    August 13th, 2013 at 1:32 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#61): If you want to wear strap-ons in public, that’s one way to do it.

  170. Illustrator Steve
    August 13th, 2013 at 1:35 pm [Reply]

    @White Rabbit (#147): Wow, the Hollywood Argyles! Great band with the classic song from the early days of rockin’ and-a rollin’! ….come to think of it, I used to have a pair of their socks and at least one of their sweaters. That is until I got sick of wearing diamond patterns!

  171. Uncle Lumpy
    August 13th, 2013 at 1:38 pm [Reply]

    @A-wel Cruiz (#167):

    Today’s Curtis is a rerun from almost exactly four years ago.

  172. Illustrator Steve
    August 13th, 2013 at 1:41 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug of Skull Island (#165): Okay, okay….what about the DUKE of Kong or the DUTCHESS of Kong? How ’bout PRINCE Kong, or maybe PRINCESS Kong? ….the Kong sequels could be endless!

  173. Illustrator Steve
    August 13th, 2013 at 1:42 pm [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#168): Nah…I simply warned him not to rev me up!

  174. Baka Gaijin
    August 13th, 2013 at 1:42 pm [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#154): Wow. Like looking in a mirror. Wow.

    @A-wel Cruiz (#167) on Pluggers: In the biz, Plugger-sized shirts are also known as “sails” or “three-person tents.”

  175. A-wel Cruiz
    August 13th, 2013 at 1:51 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#171):

    Huh, how about that? I wasn’t reading Curtis four years ago (nor had I discovered this blog), so that was enlightening.

    Thanks for the fun week or so, UL.

  176. Alfred E. Neuman
    August 13th, 2013 at 1:55 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#136) said: “Zits-And Jeremy is now twenty years out of date with technology. Now he’ll experience young people rolling their eyes at him. ‘What? You still use a device? Everyone who is everyone has an implant.’”

    Those same words could be spoken to Luann by Tiffany.

  177. Illustrator Steve
    August 13th, 2013 at 1:56 pm [Reply]

    @the REAL Mark Trail (#113): When Rusty gets kidnapped KONG and later adopted by the KONG family, will you please make sure the apes continue to take the darn kid fishing to shut him up? Thanks, TRMT!

    // and none of this fancy picnic lunch on the banks of the river crap….Rusty can rummage through the leaves and grubs like the rest of the apes!

  178. Geezer Shrug
    August 13th, 2013 at 2:03 pm [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#130):

    I’ll be 68 (and retiring) next month.

    If anyone is still collecting numbers of ‘mudgeons who are not on Facebook, you can add me to that list as well. (I fell behind on reading CC the last few days so didn’t have a chance to pipe up, or down, at the time.)

    I’m also one of the last two-legged mammals on planet earth who does not carry an iPod or any other sort of mobile phone. (“One of the last” because I believe there are a couple of chimps in the San Diego Zoo who lost theirs, but I assume they’ll be getting new ones.)

  179. Liam
    August 13th, 2013 at 2:19 pm [Reply]

    A3G-”Of course I’m happy. I’m the governor. I’m the most powerful man in New York State which makes me the 135th most powerful person in the country. If 134 people before me die then I become President.”

    FC-”Oh good then I don’t have to deal with you kids.”

    Slylock Fox-In the first panel he’s a rhinestone cowboy and in the second one he’s a midnight cowboy.

    Pluggers-Ruby Falls flows once a month.

    JP-And because you’re obscenely wealthy everyone will let you go to the head of the line.

  180. jim, some guy in iowa
    August 13th, 2013 at 2:44 pm [Reply]

    @Geezer Shrug (#178): 46, no facebook, and a slapdash approach to carrying the cell phone. Partly because where I live signal isn’t good enough to drop the land line.

    now where the *hell* did I leave my cane? There’s some clouds out there annoying me

  181. Mr. Yezpitelok
    August 13th, 2013 at 2:50 pm [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#172):

    You might as well count Hanna-Barbera’s Hong Kong Phooey. Personally, I’ve always been more into the HKP comic book — some of the issues were drawn by longtime “Blondie” artist Paul Fung, Junior:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paul_Fung,_Jr.

  182. Chaze
    August 13th, 2013 at 3:00 pm [Reply]

    @Geezer Shrug (#178):

    Add me into the non – Facebook column. I have people after me all day via various electronic means. I need less communication when I get home, not more. Truth is I don’t even answer my phone once my derrière hits the couch.

  183. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    August 13th, 2013 at 3:00 pm [Reply]

    @jim, some guy in iowa (#180): 53, addicted to Facebook, bought a Kindle a few months ago and grudgingly admit that I love it—but I don’t have a smartphone, so I still have some Luddite cred.

  184. Mikey
    August 13th, 2013 at 3:02 pm [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#172): How about a video game called “Rusty Kong” where the player tries to avoid taking Rusty fishing? Mark could be the Luigi character and he’d jump over tackle boxes, fishing rods, cameras, SD cards, and other broad hints related to taking Rusty fishing. When he gets to the top of the tower he can rescue Cherry and then promptly call Bill Ellis in triumph as Rusty sulks in his underground hovel! Too bad TRMT had Mark actually take his hideous ward fishing. Hemingway would be proud though….

  185. bats :[
    August 13th, 2013 at 3:03 pm [Reply]

  186. Chaze
    August 13th, 2013 at 3:07 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#129):

    I turned 60 rather publicly last year on this site. I think I still owe some people drinks, dates and/or fruit cakes. Or was I supposed to have a date with a fruitcake for a drink? Anyway, hail to the original (and still best) hipsters of all time.

  187. Uncle Lumpy
    August 13th, 2013 at 3:10 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#185):

    Hee! Sabre-tooth Andy is a treat!

  188. Casey, Crime Photographer
    August 13th, 2013 at 3:11 pm [Reply]

    @Mr. Yezpitelok (#181): There’s a strong connection between the Fung and Young families going back over 80 years. Paul Fung, Sr. (the father of Paul Jr.) took over Chic Young’s “Dumb Dora” strip when Young left to launch “Blondie.” And Junior assisted Young on the Blondie newspaper strip as well as drawing the Blondie comic book for various publishers.

  189. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    August 13th, 2013 at 3:19 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#185): Love it! Is that Mary Worth, marching down the volcano after her weekly sacrifice?

  190. Baka Gaijin
    August 13th, 2013 at 3:26 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#186): You prove the point I made above. Prove it, I tells ya!

  191. bad lynn
    August 13th, 2013 at 3:38 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#186): You owe me a slice of stale fruitcake, but at least now I know why you didn’t pick up the phone when I called.
    //I was goofing around about Scudder but I was serious about you. Too late now, though.

  192. bad lynn
    August 13th, 2013 at 3:38 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#186): (you sounded pathetic. I like that in a man.)

  193. Calico
    August 13th, 2013 at 3:41 pm [Reply]

    Thanks Uncle Lumpy!
    Re: “Boom”, ever see the awesome fight between Earl Weaver and an ump who’s twice as big as him? Great stuff, not safe for work.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rpS-XFXxJvE

    Oh, and I have 2 questions:
    1. Why are Archie and Betty in Dick Tracy?
    2. Why does Heather have her hand on Rex’s crotch?

  194. Uncle Lumpy
    August 13th, 2013 at 3:47 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#193):

    Oh, and I have 2 questions:
    1. Why are Archie and Betty in Dick Tracy?
    2. Why does Heather have her hand on Rex’s crotch?

    1. Those are a seriously reimagined Junior Tracy (the Rusty Trail of the 1970′s) and Sparkle Plenty, tied with Miss Melba for Most Annoying Character in Comics Who Is Not Les Moore.

    2. It’s the safest place a woman can put a hand.

  195. Calico
    August 13th, 2013 at 3:48 pm [Reply]

    JP – Reminds me of the Cheers ep where Sam and Diane really want to have sex with each other and are trying to restrain themselves, so they pig out at a Chinese Restaurant and put their emotions into eating copious amounts of food.

  196. Artist formerly known as Ben
    August 13th, 2013 at 3:50 pm [Reply]

    It has been an honor, Uncle Lumpy.

    C-Shaft: “Of course you understand that now we have to beat the crap out of you.”

    DT: Oh my God! This is where Dr. Gimp was eaten alive by rats? It’s a small world after all. A small, horrifying world.

  197. Artist formerly known as Ben
    August 13th, 2013 at 3:50 pm [Reply]

    MW: “And as for my wife, well, let’s just say I’m sure the carrion flies have gotten to her by now.”

    FW: Harry takes a few moments to remember his favorite arsonist.

    9CL: But what was it a mockery of? Good storytelling, I’d wager.

    Archie: I really don’t like the leer on Hiram’s face. He looks like he’s about to say, “But mustaches are cool, right?”

    RMMD: Turns out being feisty and English is sexually transmitted.

    BB: Sarge forgets to feed Otto. Or “forgets”. He’s either an irresponsible dog owner or he’s keeping him hungry as part of attack dog training.

    Shoe: “Of course now that I’ve told you that I have to kill you.”
    “Please, be my guest.”

    FC: Oh good, Grandma can get an early start on the night’s drinking.

    S-M: “A spy stole my phone. Such bad luck, I may as well be some kind of idiot who leaves his phone at the airport.”

    A3G: Both of them seem to have de-aged a good ten years since this time last week. Again, that must be good stuff they’re drinking.

  198. Calico
    August 13th, 2013 at 3:51 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#194):
    Ha!
    Thanks for babysitting us, I don’t think I trashed the pantry too too much. The liquor cabinet I’m not too sure about, as I don’t drink the hard stuff.

  199. Artist formerly known as Ben
    August 13th, 2013 at 3:53 pm [Reply]

    @Alison (#161):

    Fatty desk-job-having man will then thank her for the great advice instead of saying, “Excuse me, but at your age, aren’t you retired? I don’t think you have any room to talk.”

    He knows what happens to people who backtalk Mary Worth. At the very least there are rumors.

  200. Calico
    August 13th, 2013 at 3:54 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#4):
    Sometimes I envision our Charlotte cat, a sweet Tortie, on a little Harley.
    “Charlie on a Harley” – vroom vroom
    With a little helmet and riding scarf too!
    (I know, crazeh cat lady iz crazeh)

  201. Illustrator Steve
    August 13th, 2013 at 3:57 pm [Reply]

    MT – (Sorry, Hollywood Argyles…sorry!)

    “There’s a man in the funny papers we all know,
    He’s lives way back in old Lo Fo,
    He don’t eat nothin’ but a pancake stewwww,
    Well, this cat’s name is-a Mark Trailing-Yew!* (*it’s a plant species)
    He’s the toughest man that there is outside,
    wears clothes he buys when he takes a T. Rading Post ride,
    He’s the king of the LoFo jive…
    (look at that writer gooooo! AAAAAAAAGHHHH!!!)
    He’s got an old camera that’s a genuine din-o-saw-wah,
    And he can knuckle yaw head before you count to fau-wah,
    He’s got a big ugly kid and two fists-full-o- pow-wah ,
    He likes GREAT BIG beavers and grizzly bearruuhs,
    He rides thru the forest tearing tree limbs off with his jeep,
    knocking facial haired bad guys dead-on-their-knees,
    He don’t call cops ’cause he knows bettah,
    Cuz he’s a mean motah scootah and a bad go-gettah!
    (Look at that writer gooooo! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!)
    There he goes,
    Look at that writer go!
    Ride, daddy, ride…
    Ride yo din-o-sawruh,
    Ride, daddy, ride…
    he sho is hip , ain’t he?
    …he’s what’s happening!”
    (Trailing-Yew, yew.. yew-yew-yew,
    trailing-yew, yew, yew-yew-yew)

  202. Illustrator Steve
    August 13th, 2013 at 4:01 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#185): It will be hard to get that image of Cherry scantly wrapped in fur out of my horny mind!

  203. Calico
    August 13th, 2013 at 4:13 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#197):
    FC – we don’t see plump Grandma very much these days. She doesn’t seem to have that lingering melancholy /senior depression that other Grandma does.

  204. Artist formerly known as Ben
    August 13th, 2013 at 4:18 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#203): Dad’s side of the family does seem to get a lot more screentime. Like, even the guy who died ages ago.

  205. mary_worthless
    August 13th, 2013 at 4:21 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#61): re:corgi eyes – more ears than eyes

  206. Droopy Says
    August 13th, 2013 at 4:28 pm [Reply]

    Abusing Spiderman: As Rosa is a helpless, innocent captive of the evil Costa Verdean government, and is The Tarantula’s sister, who wants to bet that Rosa is the spy who stole The’s cell phone while he was visiting her in jail?

  207. Droopy Says
    August 13th, 2013 at 4:31 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#194): Thanks for running the place, Uncle Lumpy!

  208. Hunter S. Thompson
    August 13th, 2013 at 4:48 pm [Reply]

    Heathcliff – My ashes blown up via a rocket. Never thought about having my dead body shot out of a cannon. Hope Heathcliff landed at the pet cemetary.

  209. Joe Blevins
    August 13th, 2013 at 4:52 pm [Reply]

    What is even the nominal purpose of Heathcliff? Normally, cat-based cartoons exist to parody the habits and personalities of… well, you know, cats, presumably for the amusement of cat owners and cat lovers. Heathcliff does not belong to this comedic tradition at all. Nobody’s saying, “You know how cats are always shooting themselves out of cannons and playing baseball with live fish?” In fact, most cat-based cartoonery is rooted in the laziness and inertia of the feline species. I can only guess that Heathcliff is intended as some kind of Magritte-like attempt at nonchalant surrealism, with people utterly unaffected by witnessing completely bizarre and impossible events — as witness the couple in this entry, who do not seem to be all that surprised to see their cat flying through the air, wearing a crash helmet, his arms stiffly at his sides. WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE?!?

  210. Casey, Crime Photographer
    August 13th, 2013 at 4:55 pm [Reply]

    Mark Trail: That’s one hell of a tail feather “Woody Woodpecker” is sporting. It almost looks like a canoe.

  211. Alison
    August 13th, 2013 at 4:57 pm [Reply]

    Hmm, if we’re all doing ages, I will be 33 this year, or should I say, I am two years younger than Garfield.

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#199):
    I bet Mary’s got a basement full of bodies, and those “salmon squares” she bakes aren’t just made of salmon.

  212. tallyHO
    August 13th, 2013 at 5:03 pm [Reply]

    @Hunter S. Thompson (#208):

    That brings up an interesting point.

    Not that the comic is every really predictable but in a follow-up comic Heathcliff could land on the loading docks of a mattress factory and set up yet another gag where someone explains why he landed and is bouncing on a mattress.

    “That’s Mr. Claws. He’s our part-time inspector.”

  213. Uncle Lumpy
    August 13th, 2013 at 5:05 pm [Reply]

    @Joe Blevins (#209):

    What is even the nominal purpose of Heathcliff?

    It’s a one-joke strip: “Let me tell you about this crazy thing my cat did”, where the cat in fact does crazy things. Kinda like Marmaduke, but with more peyote.

  214. Illustrator Steve
    August 13th, 2013 at 5:05 pm [Reply]

    MT – “It hasn’t always looked like this … you can imagine what it looked like millions of years ago … a real shit hole, huge piles of dinosaur crap everywhere, pyroplastic flows covering the entire southern part of the state, nuclear winters not too far from a nearby meteor strike. Yeah, not a place I’d want to spend much time around!”

    “Are you saying our home is a shit hole, Mark?”

  215. Casey, Crime Photographer
    August 13th, 2013 at 5:10 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#193): Oh, and I have 2 questions:
    1. Why are Archie and Betty in Dick Tracy?
    2. Why does Heather have her hand on Rex’s crotch?

    I’d like to slip in a question of my own:

    Why is the kid in “The Tinkersons” wearing Beep Beep the Roadrunner’s top knot on his head?

  216. Mr Frog
    August 13th, 2013 at 5:12 pm [Reply]

    9CL: Thorax, his plan to end his career with a bang inexplicably failing, finally throws his hands up and admits that he doesn’t give two shits about any of this rubbish either.

    // If I may beat a long-dead and partially-fossilised horse: The authour definitely either doesn’t know what to do after this plot is wrapped up (which he could probably do in two strips if he wanted to) or is desperately trying to contrive some sort of Big Dramatic Ending which probably isn’t even possible with the material he’s working with (a stolen cow? Seriously?). There’s bad writing of all sorts everywhere in this strip, to the point where none of it even sticks out enough to mention, but the constant pointless interruptions smacks of straight-up stalling for time — the only question is what the authour needs more time to do. I’m willing to wager he’s still trying to figure out what sort of half-assed storyline to inflict on us next.

    Spider-Lump: “Why were soldiers waiting for me when my plane arrived?” “Beats me, amigo. It’s not as though you pose any sort of threat or anything.”

  217. Droopy Says
    August 13th, 2013 at 5:13 pm [Reply]

    @the REAL Mark Trail (#113): I was pretty sure you took “Ghost of Slumber Mountain” as your starting point. But if Conrad Nagel shows up and starts talking about Carol Landis, we’d all be cool with a “One Million BC” storyline.

  218. bats :[
    August 13th, 2013 at 5:15 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#189): yes, and I worry that she forget her water bottle.
    No. No, I really don’t.

  219. Droopy Says
    August 13th, 2013 at 5:24 pm [Reply]

    @mvg (#48): DT: Okayyy… so the ramshackle abandoned granary was Tracy’s “only shelter” from the storm. As opposed to the inhabited farmhouse that’s only about 100 yards away, judging by yesterday’s strip? I suppose he knew intuitively the house didn’t contain enough rats.

    That brings up another question. The whole area was flooded two years ago. How did the local farm come through the Great Flood? How did they finance the reconstruction? Wouldn’t Pa Kettle have said to Hy Pressure “Look, you want to buy out the place, and take over the mortgage and loan payments, fine! Ma and I will retire to Long Beach!”

  220. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    August 13th, 2013 at 5:46 pm [Reply]

    @Geezer Shrug (#178): 43, addicted to Facebook. I probably am on there enough to make up for everyone here who is not. ;)

  221. Uncle Lumpy
    August 13th, 2013 at 5:54 pm [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#219):

    Also – they’re supposed to be setting up fracking operations in a flood plain? They’re rapacious exploiters of mineral wealth, not stupid exploiters.

  222. Alter Ego
    August 13th, 2013 at 5:58 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#47): LOL! Can’t unsee that now…

  223. seismic-2
    August 13th, 2013 at 6:26 pm [Reply]

    I think ‘Mudges tend toward the Plugger end of the demographic distribution, since folks who read the sort of comic strips that are discussed herein are the folks who grew up reading newspaper funny pages. Now that newspapers are going extinct, or are becoming playthings for Jeff Bezos, the kids in the households that are non-subscribers are spending their time playing video games rather than reading the funnies. So, in another 30 years or thereabout, will ‘Mudges be the folks who make snarky comments about the latest hourly release of the immersive Holodeck-hosted Funky Winkerbean show/game/life-experience on joshplays.com? Or in lieu of making comments, will everyone on the site simply spend all day assuming the role of Bull Bushka, so they can use their haptic interface to experience the exquisite sensation of delivering a massive punch to the quivering frame of a photonic rendering of Les Moore?

    I wish I could live to experience that. Think of today’s Judge Parker.

  224. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    August 13th, 2013 at 6:57 pm [Reply]

    @Mr Frog (#216): 9CL the constant pointless interruptions smacks of straight-up stalling for time — the only question is what the authour needs more time to do. I’m willing to wager he’s still trying to figure out what sort of half-assed storyline to inflict on us next.

    Writer’s block would also explain the current run of Pibgorn. I can’t think of anything else he is trying to accomplish with day after day of men in white suits chatting with each other.

  225. Joe Blevins
    August 13th, 2013 at 7:07 pm [Reply]

    HEATHCLIFF: Shouldn’t he have used a catapult instead?

  226. Sequitur
    August 13th, 2013 at 7:08 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#223):

    You make an interesting point, that is, Funky Winkerbean will still be around in 30 years making it a legacy comic. The hope is that someone who possibly understands how life works has taken over the comic and decides that Funky should go back to its roots and become a funny high school strip. The only problem is that in 30 years there will be no more high schools since everyone will be home schooled on the internet so no one can relate to a high school strip except grandma and grandpa. The good thing is that life expectancy will be greater so grandma and grandpa will be around a long time to enjoy the strip or possibly snark on it. Unfortunately, the younger generation at that time will have lost the art of snarking so future generations will be snarkless. It may even become a crime to snark so there will be underground groups led by an ancient Uncle Lumpy keeping the tradition going.

    Rats. When I started this I thought it would be an easy comment.

    //Hi, Uncle Lumpy! Can’t wait until your next turn at bat!

  227. Mr. Yezpitelok
    August 13th, 2013 at 7:10 pm [Reply]

    @Huckleberry Fink (#9): Frazz: Even at garage sale prices, Mrs. Olsen’s mug, jugs and can would be considered a toxic waste of money.

    I don’t recall ever seeing a MISTER Olsen in this strip. What happened — did Mrs. Olsen make like a Praying Mantis and bite off the his head?

  228. seismic-2
    August 13th, 2013 at 7:15 pm [Reply]

    @Mr. Yezpitelok (#227): He probably died of second-hand smoke. Oh wait, that’s the next story arc in Funky Winkerbean.

  229. Droopy Says
    August 13th, 2013 at 7:27 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#221): I’m waiting to see if they frack like Operation Gasbuggy:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Project_Gasbuggy

    (Evidently the natural gas released by those nuclear detonations wasn’t too radioactive, and might have presented less of a health and environmental threat than non-nuclear fracking.)

  230. Chaze
    August 13th, 2013 at 7:30 pm [Reply]

    @bad lynn (#192):

    Heck, I was pathetic WAY before I turned 60. I think that just ramped it up a bit. But if bring pathetic makes me attractive to someone (anyone) I’m all for it!!

  231. Chaze
    August 13th, 2013 at 7:35 pm [Reply]

    @Mr. Yezpitelok (#227):

    No one has normal relationships in Frazz. The kids hang out with adults, teachers are idiots, good times are defined by marathons and triathlons (in other words, torture) and a rich songwriter works as a school janitor so he can hang with his obnoxious little ten year old pal, Caulfield (yeesh!). In the real world Frazz would be under police surveillance.

  232. Sequitur
    August 13th, 2013 at 7:36 pm [Reply]

    Hey! I just noticed that Darkgate Comic Sluper is fixed.

  233. Liam
    August 13th, 2013 at 7:38 pm [Reply]

    MW-”An unfulfilled dream of being a cake decorator. An obsessive almost stalkerish love for this old woman who controls the apartment building I live in. A crippling addiction to kite flying. You know the usual.”

    Spiderman-”I knew it was you, Fredo. You broke my heart. You broke my heart.”

  234. Sequitur
    August 13th, 2013 at 7:39 pm [Reply]

    A3G: What is Zoey drinking?

    It must be prune juice, the warrior’s drink.

  235. Sequitur
    August 13th, 2013 at 7:44 pm [Reply]

    H&L: Dang! Ditto sure looks like like a small Thirsty today.

    Instead of a beer jones he has a cookie jones.

  236. Uncle Lumpy
    August 13th, 2013 at 7:45 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#226):

    It may even become a crime to snark so there will be underground groups led by an ancient Uncle Lumpy keeping the tradition going.

    Ooh, sign me up — at night, we rise from the basements, tunnels, and sewers to insult the incoherent, banal, and sentimental products of a degenerate future. The works’ authors burst into tears, but have lost the art of shutting down comment threads, and so are helpless against us.

    My costume will be a tweed jacket with “U” and “L” on the elbow-patches, and a non-ironic paisley bow tie.

  237. seismic-2
    August 13th, 2013 at 7:47 pm [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#229): Remember that “Operation Plowshare” (to try to find industrial applications of nuclear weapons) also investigated the utility of detonating buried nuclear bombs for excavating huge quantities of earth, resulting in the creation of the Sedan crater and kicking up pretty much the levels of fallout that you would expect from such an immense scattering of dirt. I have never understood why they conducted this experiment at the Nevada Test Site instead of in Westview, Ohio.

  238. Chaze
    August 13th, 2013 at 7:52 pm [Reply]

    Totally off topic, but when did Steven Tyler turn into Carly Simon’s twin sister?

  239. Sequitur
    August 13th, 2013 at 7:53 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#236):

    And spats. Don’t forget the spats!

  240. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    August 13th, 2013 at 7:55 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#236): Can the minions wear capes, with hoods? I want to be able to glide stealthily through the dark and deserted streets.

  241. Angry Hipster
    August 13th, 2013 at 8:00 pm [Reply]

    @Mr. Yezpitelok (#181):

    You might as well count Hanna-Barbera’s Hong Kong Phooey.

    Okay, but only if you count DC’s Kong the Untamed:

    http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/d/d5/KongUntamed4.jpg

  242. Sgt.Stoned
    August 13th, 2013 at 8:05 pm [Reply]

    MW: Dude, you are apparently the only male at this spa, amid females young, middle-aged, and old and all you can find to do is bitch about your boring job?

  243. Sequitur
    August 13th, 2013 at 8:07 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#240):

    Make sure that cape has a pocket. You know, to keep your flask.

  244. tallyHO
    August 13th, 2013 at 8:14 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#238):

    Because the prophecy first told in “Dude Looks Like a Lady” came true.

  245. tallyHO
    August 13th, 2013 at 8:18 pm [Reply]

    @Joe Blevins (#225):

    The only thing which could have made today’s Heathcliff comic better is if there were a trail of stars following his ascension.

    The gagline would have read:

    “There he goes! Heathcliff is farting stars and on his way to Mars!”

  246. Droopy Says
    August 13th, 2013 at 8:23 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#237): Westview was rejected as too contaminated for the well-being of AEC workers.

  247. A-wel Cruiz
    August 13th, 2013 at 8:25 pm [Reply]

    Never thought I’d feel like some punk youngster at 32.

  248. Peanut Gallery
    August 13th, 2013 at 8:49 pm [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#229): But the Wikipedia article does say “the gas proved to be too radioactive to be commercially viable.”

    I’m amused by the fact that they did two more tests after that. “(BOOM!) Hmm, too much radioactivity. Oh well, let’s try it again. (BOOM!) Shucks, danged if this one isn’t radioactive too. Hey, third time’s the charm!”

  249. Peanut Gallery
    August 13th, 2013 at 8:54 pm [Reply]

    @Joe Blevins (#225): Maybe they used up all the cat-related modes of transport early in the history of the strip. Catamaran, catapult, Caterpillar tractor… Nothing left to do but branch out to camels, cannons, etc.

  250. Poteet
    August 13th, 2013 at 8:57 pm [Reply]

    Wait, wait, Uncle Lumpy! Too late, he’s gone. Dang, I didn’t get to thank him for that link to his Neener Oaf PV comment, which was quite quite wonderful.

  251. Poteet
    August 13th, 2013 at 8:59 pm [Reply]

  252. Poteet
    August 13th, 2013 at 9:04 pm [Reply]

    DT — There were a lot of rats in that granary during the Doctor Mordred episode. Like, thousands. I’m not sure I’d want to stick around after sunset.

  253. Sequitur
    August 13th, 2013 at 9:08 pm [Reply]

    Mary Worth should take swimming lessons from this guy.

  254. Uncle Lumpy
    August 13th, 2013 at 9:10 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#240):

    I don’t want minions — I want cohorts! And consorts, of course — for after hours.

  255. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    August 13th, 2013 at 9:16 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#254): Caped cohorts and consorts with whom you can be in cahoots? ‘Kay.

  256. Poteet
    August 13th, 2013 at 9:18 pm [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#220): Since I kinda brought up the Facebook thing a couple of threads ago, I should add that I did not mean to imply that I feel somehow superior to those on Facebook. One reason I don’t join is that it would enable me to comment on newspaper content. Much too dangerous. I know I’d dive right down the rabbit hole and would be found dead in this chair, having spent six straight days arguing with trolls (and having become one myself). And the really tragic part would be that my cats would not get fed.

  257. Sequitur
    August 13th, 2013 at 9:19 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#254):

    Cohorts and consorts and bears. Oh, my!

  258. Droopy Says
    August 13th, 2013 at 9:29 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#248): I couldn’t find anything on levels of radioactivity in the gas, but material I’ve read elsewhere suggests that they were quite low, within one or two percent of background radiation (which varies quite a bit depending on where you are–from about 100 to 250 millirems per year). That would make the radiation in the released gas insignificant. My opinion on the problem is that by this time there had been enough official dishonesty about fallout and other radiation hazards to make it insane for anyone to take the official word on the potential hazard.

  259. Sequitur
    August 13th, 2013 at 9:31 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#256):

    Right in the middle of Facebook is “cebo.” “Cebo” is Mexican slang for “fat.” So if one uses Facebook they run past the Fa become cebo and then it’s ok.

    I have no idea what I’m talking about.

    //Hey! tallyHO! Help me out here!

  260. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    August 13th, 2013 at 9:31 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#256): Oh, no worries. I know Facebook isn’t everyone’s cup of tea; if it weren’t for so many of my friends being on it, I don’t know if I’d be that interested in it.

  261. tallyHO
    August 13th, 2013 at 9:52 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#254):

    I know where you can get a good deal on a kazoo chorus that is accompanied by a calliope. They play their instruments with a certain gusto of musicians who have cajones and confidence.

    They might make your cohorts and consorts seem…

    Ye Gads! The tallyHO signal!
    (which is just an animated silhouette silhouette of two rabbits humping)

  262. seismic-2
    August 13th, 2013 at 10:06 pm [Reply]

    Another “nuclear fracking” gas-liberation experiment was the “Rulison” 40-kiloton explosion in western Colorado. Here what the Wikipedia article says about the level of radioactivity resulting from that explosion: “The test succeeded in liberating large quantities of natural gas however the resulting radioactivity left the gas contaminated and unsuitable for applications such as cooking and heating homes. Although projected public radiation exposures from commercial use of stimulated gas had been reduced to less than 1% of background, it became clear in the early 1970s that public acceptance within the U.S. of any product containing radioactivity, no matter how minimal, was difficult if not impossible.

    And if you can’t believe Wikipedia about nuclear safety, then who can you trust?

  263. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    August 13th, 2013 at 10:06 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#251): pleased to be of service, O Poteet, Queen of Fables.

  264. tallyHO
    August 13th, 2013 at 10:13 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#259):

    I saw the tallyHO signal and those rabbits can go, man, go!

    Sooooooo… you went for absurd humor involving ”Cebo” “Fa” and “OK”?
    And, you sprained something, in addition to surrealistic credulity?

    I see.
    what makes you think I can pull you out of this tar pit?

    sigh.

    Well. I guess I’ll try.

    What I heard is that people who join Facebook are already enrolled into the Cebo-nese Army. Now, if you are down with being a minion, to you Facebook is probably the tops, the cat’s meow, the bee’s love nub.

    Of course that also means you have an obligation to the Cebo-nese Army.

    You are all familiar with the phrase that an army travels on its stomach.
    The Cebo-nese Army is expected to go around and around and around; floating over oceans in the form of a We Are the World-inpspired flotilla; fueled by copious amounts of tortillas; and they grunt a lot like a ginormous pack of gorillas that are overexerting themselves while trying to stand upright after spending overtime in office chairs.

    If FACEBOOK is ok by you, aces!
    If you like FACEBOOK, fabu!
    If you FACEBOOK, ce boo plait!*
    Just don’t look down on the widdle folk.
    And, don’t look down on the widdle folk who don’t join the Cebo-nese Army.
    And, for God’s sake don’t roll us over; we can walk along just fine as long as we aren’t rolled over!**

    *that’s stretchin’ it like Mr. Fantastic!

    **does this count as a save? did I rescue you from your own babbling?

  265. Sequitur
    August 13th, 2013 at 10:21 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#264):

    You see, now that makes sense. I couldn’t have said it better myself… obviously.

    Gee, thanks tallyHO. You’re swell!

    //By the way, those rabbits are getting really rambunctious.

  266. tallyHO
    August 13th, 2013 at 10:29 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#265):
    //By the way, those rabbits are getting really rambunctious.


    Yeah. Weird, huh?

    I thought it was a looping animated gif but I think it is a Rambunctious Bunny Fornication Camera Funneling a Live Feed to a spotlight projecting Spiritedness In the Sky.

    //i could never improvise that out loud without a lot of luck. and maybe some libations. Ironically, I could have never typed that without spelling errors with libations. go fig.

  267. tallyHO
    August 13th, 2013 at 10:33 pm [Reply]

    A Funky Winkerbean question for all you Funkiacs out there:

    This “band theme” is an annual tradition? It is a marching gag in the strip?

    I see not point of dabbling with that premise more than once in a time jump.

    What possible advances in Winkerbeanery could possibly be made by revisiting this premise? I say: none. It is blatant recidivism is what it is!

    //ha! I typed a word I can barely say without error. I’m gonna do it again:

    “revisiting”!

    ta da!!!!!

  268. Sequitur
    August 13th, 2013 at 10:36 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#266):

    Yes. It’s amazing what we can learn from animals.

  269. Poteet
    August 13th, 2013 at 10:49 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#267): In my recollection, there’s a Band Camp storyline about every three months. It feels like that, anyway.

  270. Cloudbuster
    August 13th, 2013 at 10:52 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#223): I theorized on this a while back, but am lazy to go look it up for linking. I think future ‘mudgeons will be snarking about legacy webcomics that have long-since lost their spark: in 20 years the bitter, aging characters of Questionable Content will still be hanging around Coffee of Doom, but now they’ll be crying into their Lattes over lost youth and abandoned dreams. Or Hannelore will have taken over the world.

  271. Uncle Lumpy
    August 13th, 2013 at 10:52 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#267):

    Apparently Dinkle is based on an actual guy, and the strip just fawns over him — most likely because the few people who like him make a point of saying so, and the many who don’t keep their own counsel.

  272. Cloudbuster
    August 13th, 2013 at 10:54 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#269): On one hand, I think the band camp stories are pretty played out. On the other hand … oh, wait, Becky’s the band director now….

  273. tallyHO
    August 13th, 2013 at 10:55 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#268):

    Makes you wonder how much Dr. Doolittle was doing “learning from the animals”.

    @Poteet (#269):

    Quarterly? Ye gadszookies! There can’t be that many jokes to be gotten from band nerds. I’m Sousa-rry to hear it is that frequent.

    //see. that was the last joke band joke possible, Batiuk! Now to stick a fork in it and take it off the gridiron!

  274. Uncle Lumpy
    August 13th, 2013 at 10:56 pm [Reply]

    If you want to see how far the co-wankery goes, look here.

  275. Sequitur
    August 13th, 2013 at 10:56 pm [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#272):

    However, Becky’s being Dinkled from behind. Make of that what you will.

  276. Droopy Says
    August 13th, 2013 at 11:00 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#262): I don’t know about trusting a Wikipedia entry, but you can always check the references. For radiation levels from gas produced by nuclear fracking, one of the references leads here:

    http://www.osti.gov/energycitations/servlets/purl/6276057-7CWK6S/6276057.pdf

    It’s a Lawrence Livermore report. The tables toward the end give estimated exposure levels for the public from using gas from these projects in the home. The estimates are about 0.1 millirem/year.

  277. Rusty
    August 13th, 2013 at 11:03 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#256): Well, your cats would be able to feed themselves for a bit.

  278. Sequitur
    August 13th, 2013 at 11:04 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#274):

    I liked the “Minions in the Tent” video.

  279. tallyHO
    August 13th, 2013 at 11:06 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#271):

    Soooooo…if Batiuk is cruising the CC then I should keep an eye out for the screen name:

    Ivana Dinkle?
    @Cloudbuster (#272):

    ouch!

    For the record, in a brief lapse of seriousness, dismembering cartoon characters doesn’t seem worth while. True, it might yield some saving in time use while drawing. But, it seems uneccessarily cruel and debasing of the characters. A novelist could do it. I guess movies can get away with it, too, because there is almost an ironclad agreement that there must be narrative.

    But, with cartoon characters in comics it seems like you are giving up on the character. In my opinion, that is the downside of strips where characters age. If they are gonna age, let them then the strip die. But, to put the onus of Life on them–as Life is filled with disappointments and tragedies–is caring less about the characters and the premise of the work than the artist may realize.

    Sure, those who change characters around might be “keeping it real” but not really. It takes a lot to mold them into the most perfect form for the characters. To change the characters from that point says you have no faith in them as actors. It doesn’ t matter if a strip runs twenty years. If “Mary Worth” has taught us anything twenty years in real life can be 18 months in Meddling Comic Strip Years.

    For what it is worth, if a character appears with only one arm or one leg, fine. But, to cause that much grief to a cartoon character through the course of its “existance” (or, more appropriately, its usage) that is just being a drag or being a stick in the mud about strip cartooning.
    end rant. as if it matters, right?

  280. Baka Gaijin
    August 13th, 2013 at 11:06 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#238): 1974.

    @Poteet (#256): The cats would get fed on day 6.5. Real cats don’t hold out for lasagna.

  281. Artist formerly known as Ben
    August 13th, 2013 at 11:09 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#235):

    Instead of a beer jones he has a cookie jones.

    Bong hits will do that.

  282. tallyHO
    August 13th, 2013 at 11:09 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#279):

    “…if a character appears with only one arm or one leg, fine.”

    If it appears early on as fully formed with a missing appendage, fine.

    That’s what I meant there.

  283. Huckleberry Fink
    August 13th, 2013 at 11:10 pm [Reply]

    @Huckleberry Fink (#6): GA: Obviously, Giacomo won’t obey commands unless they’re spoken in his native Italian.

    Whaddya know, I was RIGHT!!!!

  284. Rusty
    August 13th, 2013 at 11:12 pm [Reply]

    52, on facebook but actively ignoring it. Gave my iphone to my daughters to use as an ipod when the contract was up and went back to a basic cell phone. Although I do recommend the Nook HD, recently on sale for $150 and a fantastic device for reading and internet nonsense. Old enough to remember the beginning of Funky winkerbean and Peanuts descent into madness in the 70′s.

  285. Droopy Says
    August 13th, 2013 at 11:15 pm [Reply]

    Abusing Spiderman: At first I couldn’t figure out what happened to the AFV. Then I realized that the soldiers had shot the shit out of it, which is how Spider and Spiderer were suddenly in the open. And, damn, that must be the hilliest airport on Earth.

    Dick Tracy: “Calling Dick Tracy! A mystery solved by an incredible coincidence! So much for your detective skills!”

    Funky’s Flunkies: As if we needed more proof that these people have overinflated egos.

    Phantom: And nothing happened, at a prodigious rate.

    Pluggers: You’re a Plugger if, like, whatever.

    Mark Trail: “This fern, for example, first appeared during the age of dinosaurs! I know because I planted it myself!”

  286. Huckleberry Fink
    August 13th, 2013 at 11:48 pm [Reply]

    Mark Trail: “Golly, Mark, that fern’s almost as old as Betty White!”

    Mother Goose: Bad brakes are the least of his problems. Fred’s stoned out of his gourd!

  287. Huckleberry Fink
    August 14th, 2013 at 12:05 am [Reply]

    Love is… moving in with his parents after losing your home to foreclosure.

    Also known as “Marvin”!

  288. Ben Wasabi
    August 14th, 2013 at 12:15 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#285):

    Which is why we need a prick like Crankshaft to pop their overinflated egos.

    @Huckleberry Fink (#287):

    Not to quibble, but shouldn’t that be a Reverse Marvin?!

  289. greghousesgf
    August 14th, 2013 at 12:21 am [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#235): you have an excellent point, the little brat is basically acting like he’s owed cookies.

  290. Droopy Says
    August 14th, 2013 at 1:05 am [Reply]

    9 Prickweed Lane: I can see Brooke writing a Wikipedia page where he proves that there is nothing sexual about seductive behavior. He’ll have to write his own material for the footnotes and references, but then, he seems quite prepared to do some things all by himself.

  291. Kristian
    August 14th, 2013 at 2:25 am [Reply]

    @Naked Bunny with a Whip (#90): Let’s see Heathcliff in an ironclad, ooh, let’s!

  292. Cloudbuster
    August 14th, 2013 at 2:41 am [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#282): At first I was stumped, but I have to hand it to you, you’ve cut off all my objections. I have nothing left.

  293. Cloudbuster
    August 14th, 2013 at 2:41 am [Reply]

    MT: Dinofern!

  294. Gladly, the cross-eyed bear
    August 14th, 2013 at 2:43 am [Reply]

    MW: “And the worst part is that here I am, paying through the nose to enjoy all the features and amenities of this expensive spa, and I spend my day inside, complaining about my crappy job! Which, by the way is really, really, boring. Really. Boring. Really boring!”

  295. Gladly, the cross-eyed bear
    August 14th, 2013 at 2:56 am [Reply]

    “Really, Mark? THAT particular fern is three million years old?”
    “Well, no, Rusty, I meant ferns LIKE this one.”
    “But you said this fern.”
    “No, I just meant ferns like this one. The same type. Species. Family. Whatever. Ferns LIKE this one!”
    “But you said THIS FERN!”
    “But I meant FERNS LIKE THIS ONE! LIKE this one! Jesus fucking Christ!”
    “But you said…”

  296. gleeb
    August 14th, 2013 at 6:00 am [Reply]

    Sally-I don’t care much about the baby’s sex. What I’m waiting for is the big reveal on Gerald. No one’s that much of an idiot.

    3G-Governor caught in love nest with “person”.

    ‘shaft-The firefighter waves the misshapen claw that serves as his hand after ed destroyed the one he was born with last time. Just kidding; Batiuk has never heard of an artificial limb.

    ‘bean-Here’s the future. A deaf old maniac vomiting forth marching band crap, forever.

    Judge Privileged-Since Randy just got his pupils dilated (free shipboard optometry clinic, no doubt), it’s time for serious topical conversation. This should be enlightening and not-at-all cringeworthy.

    Mary-It took him 25 years to finish filling out a leave slip.

  297. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    August 14th, 2013 at 6:09 am [Reply]

    FW – Wow. You would think that, in the 70 or so years that Harry’s Dinkle has been around marching band, or in the 40 or so that Lefty has been standing on that damn cherry picker with a megaphone, the topic of needing to march around various obstacles on the field would have come up once before. No wonder these morons spend most of their lives on the damn cherry picker shouting through a megaphone – they aren’t very good at it.

  298. Mr O'Malley
    August 14th, 2013 at 6:18 am [Reply]

    @Cheap Nike Shoes (#296): The Headhunters recruiter Dave Banns suggests networking and conference individuals for espresso may be a smart way to differentiate by yourself with the opposition.

    This bot is almost ready to run a sharing circle at a wellness spa. Or at least a “develop your personal brand” seminar.

    It seems to me that these sharing circles would normally be a bit more focussed. Maybe having the yoga instructor run things was not a good idea.

    I can kind of see something like this happening in the evening after a nice meal, people sitting around in a pleasant comfortable environment discussing some interesting and neutral topic. I can see it, but not in this strip, where people sit around during the day, burning daylight in a dingy basement sitting on uncomfortable chairs listening to each other’s complaints. Unless they set it all to music, like the Helsinki Complaints Choir .

  299. Mr O'Malley
    August 14th, 2013 at 6:36 am [Reply]

    EC: Civil War re-enactors. They go insane about having the right kind of buttons, and cheerfully play a guitar or banjo of a type that wasn’t available until the 1920s. Often playing a style of music that originated in the 1940s.

    No worse than Renaissance re-enactors, who follow some bizarre non-historical rules (“don’t wear purple”) and do very strange things. The ones around here shout “Sharply! Sourly!” in Scots Gaelic whenever Mary Queen of Scots turns up. Don’t even start about the musical instruments.

    Some re-enactors are great though. We went to Fort Laramie this summer, and although the budget was severely cut by the sequester, there were still a couple of volunteer re-enactors there who were very well-informed about the history of the fort. But it used to be that college students could get credit and some income by working there. It’s a shame that has been abolished because we need to keep our history alive.

  300. CanuckDownSouth
    August 14th, 2013 at 6:53 am [Reply]

    MT: Actually getting to fish has broken Rusty’s brain. Preschoolers usually are familiar with the concept that “things were not the same”, particularly through the existence of a way-cool age of dinos.

    Luann: Even when trotted out as a prop to show Brad’s endearing side with kids, Shannon manages to be more menacing than most days’ Dennis the Menace.

  301. Ratiocinator
    August 14th, 2013 at 7:04 am [Reply]

    @Cheap Nike Shoes (#296): Well, I’ve never known Dave Banns to be wrong before!

  302. gleeb
    August 14th, 2013 at 10:10 am [Reply]

    @Ratiocinator (#302): Dave used to wear cheap Nike shoes!

  303. Greg
    August 27th, 2013 at 12:35 pm [Reply]

    I can’t be the only person who’s first thought was “Secret of Mana”.

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