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How “talk groups” become “yell mobs”

Blondie, 8/18/13

Having recently turned 39, an age significantly closer to Dagwood’s vaguely defined middle age than to Alexander and Cookie’s vaguely defined teenagerhood, I too struggle with the kids today and their lingo, and sometimes have difficulty distinguishing between actual teenspeak and things that comics creators who are even older than me think might be teenspeak, in some teen subculture somewhere. For instance, “sick” and “wicked sick” are slang synonyms for “good” and “very good” of such long standing that even I recognized them right away. “Wound” is another matter, though, one not helped by the fact that it’s not clear in writing whether it’s meant to rhyme with “pound” or “spooned.” I certainly hope it’s the latter and that some misguided sixtysomething Blondie gag writer came to the conclusion that “Well if being sick is cool, then being wounded must be super cool!”

Mary Worth, 8/18/13

Oh no! The talk group has gone dangerously awry! The participants may be emotionally fragile, but they recognize an alien robot spy wearing a human meatsack disguise when they see/hear one. “SOMETIMES FRIENDSHIPS RUN THEIR COURSE,” said the carefully constructed Homo sapiens emulation module. “REVIEW PAST INTERACTIONS FOR POSSIBLE CAUSES. HALT! BELAY AGGRESSIVE POSTURE! A SEMANTIC COMPREHENSION MISMATCH HAS OCCURRED! PREVIOUS SENTENCES WERE INTENDED AS HELPFUL SUGGESTIONS, NOT AS ATTACKS ON SENSE OF SELF! RECALIBRATING … RECALIBRATING …”

276 responses to “How “talk groups” become “yell mobs””

  1. Casey, Crime Photographer
    August 18th, 2013 at 7:31 am [Reply]

    Mary Worth Big Aggie: “I’m sick and tired of people JUDGING me. Especially that pissyface Alan Parker!”

    Nancy + Archie + Dog Eat Doug: All three strips are FISHING for jokes today.

  2. Chaze
    August 18th, 2013 at 7:38 am [Reply]

    ASM – So the helicopter pilot gets pushed out of the copter over a fountain so he won’t be killed. The fountain, however, is full of pointy statues upon which he could have been impaled. “Not my problemo, señor.”

    Spidey: “S’awright.”

    Like Judge Parker, if they ain’t on our side, screw it, let’s kill ‘em.

  3. Lumaca Morente
    August 18th, 2013 at 7:42 am [Reply]

    FC: Ok, what kind of fershlugginer Alice-in-Wonderland place is this senior condo in, anyway? One block of stalag-looking condos with a golf course/lake at one end and a park at the other?

  4. Ben Wasabi
    August 18th, 2013 at 7:44 am [Reply]

    Mary Worse: “Shuddup! I paid good money to come to this fancy schmancy resort! You’re nothing but *&@%S^ hired help!”

  5. jim, some guy in iowa
    August 18th, 2013 at 7:53 am [Reply]

    “no good deed goes unpunished” sez the Inspirational Quote of the Week — so, is that a tacit admission all of Mary’s meddling hasn’t actually done any good?

  6. Old Folkie
    August 18th, 2013 at 7:54 am [Reply]

    WaPo not loading most comics today – had to use azcentral

    Frazz: Well played.

    9CL: If Brooke would just do cats, this would go from my least favorite strip to my most favorite.

    JP: Boobs trump ethics.

  7. Spelling Bea
    August 18th, 2013 at 7:55 am [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#3): I believe it’s spelled “furshlugginer.”

    @Ben Wasabi (#4): Your lack of a “$” in “*&@%S^” is di$turbing.

  8. debussy fields
    August 18th, 2013 at 7:59 am [Reply]

    MW– Meanwhile, the poor gentleman who started the ball rolling at this group talk–the guy who said he was thoroughly bored with his job–has been elbowed aside and is completely forgotten. “I wonder if there’s a different group talk session somewhere else at this damned resort. Maybe I can go there and complain about what happened to me at THIS one.”

  9. pugfuggly
    August 18th, 2013 at 7:59 am [Reply]

    Blondie Judging by the kids’ reactions, this mid-sentence googling break is a pretty common occurrence in conversations with their father. I wonder how many times he’s gone to look up a phrase, only to find out that they were speaking quite literally to him? “Hmmm….I guess ‘terrible halitosis’ is just what it sounds like…”

    MW That last panel is a lot funnier if you imagine that those two hands belong to Mary, who is frantically trying to signal something to Aggie like a baseball coach sending coded messages to the pitcher.

    “If it’s going to go down like this, remember to her her at the knees…the knees!

  10. Ben Wasabi
    August 18th, 2013 at 8:00 am [Reply]

    @Spelling Bea (#7): Wrong. “It’s” is spelled i-t-s.

  11. pugfuggly
    August 18th, 2013 at 8:03 am [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#9):

    *hit* her….not her her…….

    her her her her………….
    herherherherherheh…..
    hhhhhrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr…….

    /takes another sip of coffee/

  12. The Modesto Kid
    August 18th, 2013 at 8:04 am [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#9): I hope you will do your part to help “has terrible halitosis” become the new “is wicked sick”.

  13. lorne
    August 18th, 2013 at 8:06 am [Reply]

    The resort has a “NO LIFE GUARD ON DUTY – SWIM AT YOUR OWN RISK” sign tacked up in the Group Talk Room. The words “LIFE GUARD” and “SwWIM” have been scratched out and replaced by “THERAPIST” and “TALK”.

  14. The Modesto Kid
    August 18th, 2013 at 8:08 am [Reply]

    Cookie’s “Daddy!” is missing a “-o” for maximum early-60′s hipster effect.

  15. Clint Brawny
    August 18th, 2013 at 8:10 am [Reply]

    I’m guessing “wound” is as in “wound up tight.”

  16. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 18th, 2013 at 8:12 am [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#y276): …in most of his texts Heinlein very inconsiderately failed to specify the make and model of slide rule being used.

    Don’t I know it! Sometimes he’ll tell you if it’s a circular, but he never mentions the material it’s made of. Wood? Bakelite? Aluminium? Plastic? Bamboo? Or the type, Mannheim, Rietz, or Darmstadt? Open or closed frame? These things make a difference.

    // As every schoolchild knows, what’s-his-name drove his Chevy to the levee the day the music died. But what if he had driven his Ford to the fjord? Or his Hudson to the Hudson? Or his Jaguar to a Magyar? What if he had driven his Geo down to Rio? Perhaps then the music would never have gotten ill in the first place, or, if it had, might eventually have recovered. Or not, as the case may be.

  17. Windier E. Megatons
    August 18th, 2013 at 8:17 am [Reply]

    “God’s wounds, Daddy! Thy garment is most fashionable!” Wait, too old.

  18. Borborygmy
    August 18th, 2013 at 8:22 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#16): …then the music would never have gotten ill in the first place, or, if it had, might eventually have recovered.

    Maybe the music might have gotten wicked sick! And got terrible halitosis!

  19. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    August 18th, 2013 at 8:28 am [Reply]

    interesting combo in the deadtree Sunday Funnies. Both Frazz and NS featured science, and decently done science at that. Frazz added a nanny-nag punchline, and NS, as usual was leaden and ham-handed.

    PBS: I laughed my @ss off at this. Food does not come on styrofoam at the market, people!!!

    Baby Blues, almost a Marvin.

    Lio: this never happened to that round-headed kid.

    Overboard features rhododendrons. *giggle*

    LaCuc: has been reading joshreads.

    AD: a poem about friends with benefits???

    Ghost-who-has-saved-action uses it.

    JP: wow. just . . . .wow.

    SFx: so, Slim Shady isn’t allowed to have waterproof match containers? The Vulpine Gestapo reign continues.

  20. Ed Dravecky
    August 18th, 2013 at 8:40 am [Reply]

    Do lonely people really pay money to sit with strangers and vent their deepest insecurities without benefit of a counselor to keep things flowing? Chat Roulette is free and upwards of several of the users aren’t naked.

  21. Horace Broon
    August 18th, 2013 at 8:40 am [Reply]

    <b<FW: Yeah, kids today have no idea what glass is because fizzy drink bottles aren’t made out of it any more. That certainly isn’t absurd nonsense penned by someone who never talks to teens if he can avoid it.

    Pluggers: Further research shows that 8 out of 10 Plugger conversations end when they realise no-one is listening. (In the other two, they carry on anyway out of bloody-mindedness.)

  22. Anonymous
    August 18th, 2013 at 8:43 am [Reply]

    MW – Oh, so that’s who writes fortune cookie messages!

  23. Samuel
    August 18th, 2013 at 8:43 am [Reply]

    Woops, not that it was such a great comment, but #22 was mine

  24. The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan
    August 18th, 2013 at 8:44 am [Reply]

    Hm, the gerbils are running slow this morning on CC.

    Anyway it may (or may not) interest Josh to know that there is such a thing as conservative criticism of Joss Whedon’s version of Battlestar Galactica because he made the Cylons into sexy androids, rather than clunky robots. This is supposed to be some sort of liberal plot. No, really.

    Seeing the kind of chaos androids sow when they attempt “therapy,” however, it begins to make sense.

  25. dougputhoff
    August 18th, 2013 at 8:44 am [Reply]

    Blondie–Is “wound” pronounced “wound” as one does a clock or “wound” as an injury?

  26. McManx
    August 18th, 2013 at 8:45 am [Reply]

    Hi and Lois — You know, all these years, I sort of felt sorry for Hi. The shrewish wife, the dumbass “Job Jar,” the disaffected teenager, the bickering twins, and Trixie, the ever-present reminder that prophylactics do fail. Now I discover that more than 50 years after central air conditioning became common, not only does Hi not have AC in his house, but he is hoarding the only window unit in his bedroom. No wonder everyone hates him so. Hi Flagston is the BIGGEST DICK IN THE WORLD!

    Phantom — The next-to-the-last panel suggested Mandrake and Phantom were about to cop a feel on the redheaded terrorist. But whatever he did in the last box to make her go “uhff!” just seems to vulgar for the Sunday comics.

  27. Roto13
    August 18th, 2013 at 8:45 am [Reply]

    I, too, am frequently confused by Kids These Days™ and their slang, but Urban Dictionary is telling me that “wound” is a euphemism for “vagina.” As in, “Yeah, it’s really vagina, daddy!!” Th… thanks… Cookie…?

  28. dougputhoff
    August 18th, 2013 at 8:45 am [Reply]

    @dougputhoff (#25): More information about pronunciation can be found on the Internet.

  29. John C Fremont
    August 18th, 2013 at 8:45 am [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#11): Uh, oh. You’re slipping into your Ice Cream Bunny impersonation again.

  30. Ned Ryerson
    August 18th, 2013 at 8:45 am [Reply]

    Okay, now come on. The Buy a Print option is not showing me the “missing panels” from Sunday funnies. What am I missing in the top two panels of Judge Parker? What gratuitous T&A is being kept from us?

    Josh, you have a source, I know it! You pulled that Mary Worth quote panel from somewhere, but where? C’mon, hook us up!

  31. Samuel
    August 18th, 2013 at 8:47 am [Reply]

    MW –
    Aggie: “She cut me out of her life without rhyme or reason.”
    Female Zoltar: “Review past interactions. Perhaps disgust arose from misused idioms.”

  32. jim, some guy in iowa
    August 18th, 2013 at 8:47 am [Reply]

    JP: I’m thinking Mike Manley drew some ‘mudgeons in those panels featuring the leering pool boyz – and isn’t this just the *worst* time for Comics Kingdom to act like bandwidth is as valuable as newsprint and drop the title panels?

  33. Mibbitmaker
    August 18th, 2013 at 8:48 am [Reply]

    @Spelling Bea (#7): In the 1950s, MAD spelled it furshlugginer (my prefered spelling), but Panic spelled it fershlugginer. Later years/decades of MAD had put it as fershlugginer (see the Batman Forever parody), but the Kurtzman spelling is what I consider canon (YMMV).

    Furshlugginer fershlugginer!

  34. Gabacho
    August 18th, 2013 at 8:52 am [Reply]

    Mary Worth – Aggie’s list. “Review past interactions for possible causes.”?

    Insane outbursts? Check.
    Willingness to share details with strangers? Check
    Talking over other people and insisting on priority? Check.
    Bad personal grooming and appearance? Check.
    Quick to complain when I feel criticized? Check.

    That’s right, Aggie, you’re all that and a bag o’ chips. Anybody would want to be your best friend.

  35. Mibbitmaker
    August 18th, 2013 at 8:52 am [Reply]

    @dougputhoff (#25): Or….

    Is “wound” pronounced like furshlugginer, or is “wound” spelled like fershlugginer?

  36. Uncle Lumpy
    August 18th, 2013 at 8:52 am [Reply]

    Randy Parker is a such a tool.

  37. jim, some guy in iowa
    August 18th, 2013 at 8:53 am [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#36): that’s what CIApril *likes* about him

  38. TheDiva
    August 18th, 2013 at 8:54 am [Reply]

    Blondie: Maybe they were reaching for “tight” but couldn’t quite remember it?

    MW: See what happens when lesser beings try to meddle? Mary is a professional, kids. Don’t try this at home.

  39. The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan
    August 18th, 2013 at 8:56 am [Reply]

    Speaking of gerbils and/or Cylons, Daily Ink seems to be on the fritz this morning.

    And speaking of “fritz,” GoComics is featuring the first-ever Katzenjammer Kids this morning, from (drum roll), December 12, 1897.

  40. The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan
    August 18th, 2013 at 8:57 am [Reply]

    @jim, some guy in iowa (#37): Well, it’s NSApril, but yes, she does like him because he has a tool. Wait! Because he is a tool!

  41. Mibbitmaker
    August 18th, 2013 at 8:59 am [Reply]

    Blondie: I discovered the use of “sick” as a good thing from its use on American Chopper — as yonger adult lingo. Discovered on Discovery!

    Right up there with “bad”=good. I can see the near future…

    “Hey, that’s the most disgusting garbage ever, you pathetic piece of filth who should die gruesomely for daring to show me such vile fucking CRAP!!!”

    “Thanks for the compliment. I really appreciate that.”

    “You’re welcome. Any time.”

  42. The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan
    August 18th, 2013 at 9:02 am [Reply]

    I wonder what Dagwood would make of “wicked pisser.”

  43. Mibbitmaker
    August 18th, 2013 at 9:07 am [Reply]

    MW: Jeez, no wonder Aggie’s pushing her friend away. Aggie, maybe it’s your….. disposition?

    If she thinks she can keep friendships with such a vicious temper, she’s really lost her marbles! Because…. her name…. Aggie…. marbles…… because….. name….. I…… playing……mar…..marbles…… it…… playing……. (kinda sound like TV’s Frank, don’t it?)

  44. TheDiva
    August 18th, 2013 at 9:08 am [Reply]

    9CL: Okay, the kitten is cute, reminiscent of Spock from Heart in the City. More proof that Brooke should just stick to writing silent animal comics.

    FW: If Crazy Harry is really that hard up for a proper glass bottle of Coke (not like the Kids These Days with their plastic and their Instagrams getting all over the lawn) he can just, you know, go out and buy some. They sell them on Amazon. Oh wait, that’s one of those evil technology things, isn’t it?

    Luann: “Is that complicated?”
    “Well, there’s only six of us in our class, so not really.”

    SM: “Instead of dying, he shattered his pelvis on the fountain’s concrete rim and will be paralyzed for life!”

  45. Alter Ego
    August 18th, 2013 at 9:21 am [Reply]

    DtM, throwaway panels – We knew all along that Joey was a switch hitter.

  46. Borborygmy
    August 18th, 2013 at 9:29 am [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#19): Slim Shady isn’t allowed to have waterproof match containers?

    Or even just waterproof matches. The story about the fire is trivial anyway. Shady Shrew DID just drift in on a crude raft. And certainly the authorities can verify whether or not he had a motor boat.

    // Oh, I get it. Shady, being a low-life criminal type, would never buy expensive waterproof matches to take on his motor boat. He just gets the free cardboard book matches he can pick up at the disreputable saloons and low-class rodent bordellos he frequents. The kind of matchbooks that have an ad challenging you to draw a dark-haired girl named Judy, to see if you are a terrific enough artist to qualify for art school. Shady is obviously guilty of something. Book him, Ducko!

  47. Baka Gaijin
    August 18th, 2013 at 9:36 am [Reply]

  48. Poteet
    August 18th, 2013 at 9:37 am [Reply]

    MW — If a person wants to watch strangers weirdly arguing, JUDGE JUDY is free and you can eat junk food while you watch it. I’m just sayin’.

  49. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 18th, 2013 at 9:38 am [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#44): If Crazy Harry is really that hard up for a proper glass bottle of Coke … he can just, you know, go out and buy some.

    They sell glass bottled Coca Cola at (at least) two local supermarkets here in North Central Alabama, one of them being Walmart. And it’s the good stuff, too. Mexican Coke, made with real sugar, not corn syrup.

    // A rum-and-coke, made with real sugar Mexican Coke, and a good quality dark Caribbean rum, with a twist of lime, is a thing of beauty and a joy, for several minutes.

    // One of those little bumbershoots helps, too.

  50. Peanut Gallery
    August 18th, 2013 at 9:46 am [Reply]

    MW -

    “Hey, loser, I’m cutting you out of my life,
    Now here’s a little rhyme just to help me twist the knife!”

    Better now?

  51. Rusty
    August 18th, 2013 at 9:54 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#49): The Mexican Coke is infiltrating the local markets in CT, due I think to an increase in the Mexican and Hispanic immigrant population. It is a revelation, so much cleaner finishing than corn syrup Coke.

  52. seismic-2
    August 18th, 2013 at 10:01 am [Reply]

    “No good quote goes unplagarized.” – Karen Moy

    Blondie: “Whoa, Dad, why are are wearing a shirt that’s so wound? Are you taking Mom on a solo car date and hoping to go roadside?”

  53. bobanero
    August 18th, 2013 at 10:01 am [Reply]

    When I saw the Mary Worth in today’s post, I suddenly realized that the web site on which I have been viewing my Sunday comics (seattlepi.com) is posting the comics without the throwaway panels on the top line. I don’t know what their motivation is for doing this, since the only reason I am aware of why a newspaper would drop the throwaway panels is to fit more different comics in the limited space of their color Sunday comics section. There is no such space restriction on a web page, except possibly to make more room for their awful animated ads or E! news video links which take forever to load and really sour my web experience. Where can I go to view the Sunday comics in all their throwaway panel glory?

  54. Greg Kuhn
    August 18th, 2013 at 10:02 am [Reply]

    The coolest thing about Aggie, in today’s Mary Worth, (besides the fact that we finally get to see what the Texas A & M mascot looks like in real life) is that she’s done a “bit” in prison. As evidenced by the tatoo of a teardrop just underneath the far, outside edge of her right eye.

  55. TurtleBoy
    August 18th, 2013 at 10:03 am [Reply]

    Mary Worth: I’m hoping that the next few days’ (or, if we’re lucky, weeks’) worth of Mary Worths find our meddlin’ maven taking up the cause of the woman with the chartreuse onesie and the Dawn Weston hairstyle, fighting for her dignity tooth and nail…before beginning a slow reveal that the “best friend” she’s referring to is a sock puppet named “Peppo.”

  56. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 18th, 2013 at 10:04 am [Reply]

    @Rusty (#51): It is a revelation, so much cleaner finishing than corn syrup Coke.

    You are right. Surprising, to me, anyway. When did US Coke go from sugar to corn syrup, and how is it no one noticed at the time? Maybe they did it gradually, slowly substituting the fake sugar for the real stuff, over a long period of time.

  57. pparf
    August 18th, 2013 at 10:04 am [Reply]

    MW: The earth, the building, the sky all one color. The monochromatic outfits right down to matching shoes. The anger boiling over for every little comment. It all makes sense now. This isn’t just a talk group at a desert retreat. it’s the next installment of Clue. Those aren’t outfits; they’re the game pieces anthropomorphized. The talk group leader was killed. Was the killer Mr. Blueberry? Madam Green? Miss Scarlett? Widow White? Or. . .?

  58. Flipper
    August 18th, 2013 at 10:05 am [Reply]

    FW: Owen can’t believe Crazy Harry called those little Coke bottles “glass.” Crazy Harry should Google the latest teen lingo before he tries using it.

  59. Baka Gaijin
    August 18th, 2013 at 10:11 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#16): Love the digression. What if he took his Ferrari to the quarry? Took his Studebaker to the shoe maker? Took his blimp to the simp? I know that one; Lu Ann Powers would just stare uncomprehendingly.

    @The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan (#39): Not an auspicious start. Minor child abuse and retaliation. I’m just rolling on the floor laughing. Not.

    @Borborygmy (#46): You’re spot on except for one thing. The cheap matches from the rodent bordello? He stole ‘em from Jessica Rabbit. Now you know why she’s always having him arrested. She doesn’t want anyone to find out she earns her money doing lap dances on animals that don’t have laps.

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#49): They sell glass bottle Coke here too. It’s not from Mexico. It has sugar not corn syrup. Does that count? They sell it in tiny aluminium cans too. Do they count?

    @bobanero (#53): Usually you DailyInk has the full comic. Today it has none, none at all, even for those of us who’ve paid.

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#56): The sugar departed Coca Cola in 1981 or 1982. Ironic that a few years later everyone was puking up New Coke as a sacrilege against the Cola Gods’ wishes. These same people had no problem with Coke in plastic bottles either. Bleah.

  60. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    August 18th, 2013 at 10:13 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#56): the distraction that was New Coke. When they brought back “Classic” Coke, it was made with syrup.

  61. DaveP
    August 18th, 2013 at 10:25 am [Reply]

    What’s the deal with Hagar’s house today?
    Either he and Helga have an exceptionally wide double front door, or they have a door hanging on the end of a free-standing wall.
    http://www.cleveland.com/comics-kingdom/?feature_id=Hagar_The_Horrible&feature_date=2013-08-18

  62. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 18th, 2013 at 10:30 am [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#52): “No good quote goes unplagarized.” – Karen Moy

    That’s cute, but it isn’t quite fair. Karen Moy sometimes misquotes and often misattributes. Her research seems to consist of looking at brainyquotes.com, a notoriously inaccurate and otiose quotemine. I yield to no one in my contempt for Moy’s quotations.

    However, she does attribute her “quotations” (albeit, usually incorrectly) so, whatever it is, it is not plagiarism. Mary Worth, the character, often speaks in platitudes, but, as Albert Camus often averred, “You can’t plagiarize a platitude.”

  63. Northern lurker
    August 18th, 2013 at 10:31 am [Reply]

    MW: hey Aggie maybe your friend dropped you because you’re a fat, negative, whiny blob who’s life is going nowhere and she’s got better things to do and better people to hang out with.

  64. Baka Gaijin
    August 18th, 2013 at 10:38 am [Reply]

    I don’t get Beardo today. Little help?

    What name is “Aggie” a dimunitive of? Hagatha? Haggly? Hagnetha? I’m at a loss here.

  65. casino LF
    August 18th, 2013 at 10:38 am [Reply]

    Seriously, GIVE ME THE STARTER PANELS! I HAVE NEEDS!

  66. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    August 18th, 2013 at 10:38 am [Reply]

    JP: The print WashPost again apparently believed that today’s strip is too hot for Hyattsville. So today’s Random Replacement Strip is . . . a locker-room scene full of half-naked high school girls. Um, whuck?

    MW: Invite a group of strangers who are probably loopy from sunstroke and smoothies, tell them they can share anything, and put the whole exercise under the supervision of a woman whose primary demonstrable skill is demonstrating downward dog: what could possibly go wrong?

  67. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 18th, 2013 at 10:41 am [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#60): Minced oath! That has to be it! Could it be that New Coke was not a classic blunder — the business equivalent of getting involved in a land war in Asia — but was actually a fiendishly clever way of substituting cheaper ingredients into their flagship product?

    // The mind boggles and grows soft!
    // Pool boy! More rum and Mexican Coke! Stat!

  68. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    August 18th, 2013 at 10:45 am [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#64): cats, like fake tans, are orange.

  69. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    August 18th, 2013 at 10:46 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#67): it’s a good story, if nothing else.

    see also, Soylent Green, Micheal Jordan’s baseball hiatus, and FDR knowing about Pearl Harbor.

  70. Baka Gaijin
    August 18th, 2013 at 10:48 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#67): Take off the tinfoil hat. New Coke came a few years after corn syrup Coke. Occam’s Razor intimates that the guys in the upper floors of Coca-Cola Tower in Atlanta inhaled too much “special smoke” from UGA at the base of the tower vis-a-vis New Coke. GM had the same problem with Cadillac. Cimarron? I mean the word “moron” is practically the Cimarron’s middle name.

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#68): Oh. I was thinking the guy took a dump on the beach and buried it. That’s not funny unless you’re the writing talent behind Marvin.

  71. Bill
    August 18th, 2013 at 10:48 am [Reply]

    Mary Worth, 8/18/13: Aggie attacks Shannon without rhyme or reason!

  72. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 18th, 2013 at 10:51 am [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#64): What name is “Aggie” a dimunitive of?

    Agatha. As in Agatha Christie, or Bertie Wooster’s Aunt Agatha, “Lady Worpleton of Steeple Bumpleigh, Essex. According to Bertie, this most fearsome of aunts is ‘known to devour her young and conduct human sacrifices at the time of the full moon.’”

    Of course alumni of Texas A&M are known as Aggies, too.

  73. Bill
    August 18th, 2013 at 10:53 am [Reply]

    Blondie, 8/18/13: Urban Dictionary: wound http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=wound
    1. wound. Slang term for vagina.
    So, Dagwoods’ wearing a pussy shirt, makes sense to me!

  74. Uncle Lumpy
    August 18th, 2013 at 10:55 am [Reply]

    @Borborygmy (#46):

    … low-class rodent bordellos …

    I’m just grateful there’s a place on this earth where people distinguish the relative classiness of rodent bordellos.

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#66):

    … a locker-room scene full of half-naked high school girls. Um, whuck?

    The exact strip in which Michael Manley said, “OK, hallowed memory of Eduardo Baretto — it’s on!”

  75. damanoid
    August 18th, 2013 at 10:58 am [Reply]

    Say what you will about ‘Blondie,’ but at least its writers know how to keep it upbeat. The exact same joke, handled by Tom Batiuk, would end with Dagwood cutting his new shirt into ribbons while weeping.

    Plus, it really is a pretty snappy-looking shirt! I wish I had a shirt like that.

  76. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 18th, 2013 at 10:58 am [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#70): Take off the tinfoil hat.

    Well, I suppose you are right. Still I’ll keep the hat on, thanks. I think I look quite distingué in it, and besides, they’re terribly comfortable. I think everyone will be wearing them in the future.

  77. kingklash
    August 18th, 2013 at 11:01 am [Reply]

    But, Aggie’s not an alien!

  78. Uncle Lumpy
    August 18th, 2013 at 11:03 am [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#70):

    New Coke was a classic error of focusing on your competitors instead of your customers. Pepsi was killing Coke in taste tests and advertising the hell out of it. New Coke beat Pepsi in side-by-sides, but people who drank a lot of Coke didn’t like it. Duh. Same thing almost killed Harley-Davidson when they introduced the POS M65 instead of thanking Honda for all the new motorcycle riders.

  79. Chaze
    August 18th, 2013 at 11:03 am [Reply]

    Shoe – Point of clarification: Does Amway even exist anymore? I seem to remember it being considered almost a cult years ago.

    Blonde – Point of clarification (2): Isn’t “wicked” used mostly in New England, dating back the Salem witch trials?

  80. Chaze
    August 18th, 2013 at 11:05 am [Reply]

    @damanoid (#75):

    Herk the Mauler wore the exact shirt when he was on his diner tour of Greater Milford.

  81. billman
    August 18th, 2013 at 11:07 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#49):

    Technically, if it has lime it’s a Cuba Libre, not a Rum & Coke.

  82. Alex Blaze
    August 18th, 2013 at 11:10 am [Reply]

    Having actually participated in a few sharing circles in my day, I was pleasantly surprised to see that MW was going to show one. Too bad it looks nothing like any sharing circle I’ve ever been in.

    Now, I know they’re run differently in different places, but there are two rules that allow people to open up and I can’t imagine a sharing circle having value without them: only one person can speak at a time (and they decide when they’re finished) and no one (except sometimes a moderator) is allowed to respond to what anyone else says, either during the circle or after. These rules are meant to reduce behaviors that keep people from sharing in day-to-day interactions, like interruption, judgment, and “help” that’s no help at all.

    Aggie’s reaction isn’t unpredictable; Shannon was pretty transparently saying, “It’s your fault your friend won’t talk to you anymore, asshole.” Listening is as important as speaking in sharing circles, and people, like Mary Worth, who are thinking about ways to “help” (that is, to criticize, judge, save, shut someone up, etc.), aren’t really listening at all. If Aggie wanted ideas, she would have asked. Instead she wanted people to listen to her and treat her like an appreciated, independent adult who’s as screwed up as the rest of us are.

    That has a lot more power than asinine, vague advice from people who have no clue what’s going on in your life.

    A useful sharing circle is set up to keep people who arrogantly think they have no problems and that they can tell others how to live at bay. The act of listening without being able to respond forces them to see the humanity in others instead of treating them like objects to be used for their own pleasure. And since judgmental people are usually the people most afraid of judgment, they have space to speak from their hearts about what’s not working for them.

    Instead, this sharing circle is just a plot device created to give Mary some raw material to work on. But it’s no wonder the MW writers didn’t depict a real sharing circle: the power of a well-run sharing circle is a direct criticism of the comic’s heroine.

  83. seismic-2
    August 18th, 2013 at 11:13 am [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#64), @Nehemiah Scudder (#72): “Aggie” might be a familiar form of “Agnes”, also. In that case the now-vanished best friend was Trout, and they stopped talking when they grew up and Trout finally decided that enough’s enough.

    Or maybe she’s called “Aggie” because she used to be a champion at playing marbles. Or maybe “Aggie” is her real name, and her nickname is “Heifer”.

  84. Patrick
    August 18th, 2013 at 11:19 am [Reply]

    The plot twist here is that Mary is not at a resort at all. She has died, and this is her own personal heaven. See her face in the second panel? That’s bliss. Dry, hard, brittle, painful, shrinking, bitter bliss: the only kind Mary feels.

  85. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    August 18th, 2013 at 11:19 am [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#44): FW: If Crazy Harry is really that hard up for a proper glass bottle of Coke (not like the Kids These Days with their plastic and their Instagrams getting all over the lawn) he can just, you know, go out and buy some. They sell them on Amazon. Oh wait, that’s one of those evil technology things, isn’t it?

    Heck, you can get them in the supermarket, even in places like smalltown Indiana. You do have to venture into the “Hispanic” part of the store, though, so maybe that’s what’s discouraged Harry from making that discovery.

    (That Coke’s generally better than the stuff in plastic anyway, being made with cane sugar rather than corn syrup.)

  86. Vince M
    August 18th, 2013 at 11:19 am [Reply]

    MW: Aggie is starting to sound like the little yellow duck in this cartoon: http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x10u4ev_aint-that-ducky-1945_shortfilms
    One of my very favorite minor characters. “Aaaaah, lay off, you…DUCK!”

  87. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    August 18th, 2013 at 11:20 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#49): Or what you just said.

    (Note to self, read all the comments first, even if you’re not fully caffeinated yet.)

  88. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    August 18th, 2013 at 11:22 am [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#64): What name is “Aggie” a dimunitive of? Hagatha? Haggly? Hagnetha? I’m at a loss here.

    I’m guessing Agatha.

  89. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    August 18th, 2013 at 11:22 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#72): I really need to read the other comments first!

  90. Majicou
    August 18th, 2013 at 11:25 am [Reply]

    Gee, Mr. Batiuk, remind us again how you implemented two time skips so you could showcase a new generation of young characters and deal seriously and compassionately with their concerns. It’s hard to see past that sneering old man.

    @Baka Gaijin (#70): You realize UGA is a good 70 miles away from downtown Atlanta? Now, Georgia Tech on the other hand–right by North Avenue.

    @The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan (#24): Actually Ron Moore and David Eick, not Joss Whedon.

    // Now I’m just in correction mode. The comment compiler should catch this stuff.

  91. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    August 18th, 2013 at 11:28 am [Reply]

  92. Alex Blaze
    August 18th, 2013 at 11:29 am [Reply]

    Or:

    This “sharing circle” only supports the hypothesis that Mary tried some peyote in the desert and this is just a fantasy-fulfilling hallucination. Dagwood Bumstead would be eating a giant sandwich, Dick Tracy would engage in unspeakable violence, Thelma Keane would ride off into the sunset on the back of a motorcycle driven by a woman she knows only as “Big Daddy,” and Mary Worth would have people bearing their souls to her so that she can judge them, break them down, and remake them in her own image.

  93. Cloudbuster
    August 18th, 2013 at 11:35 am [Reply]

  94. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    August 18th, 2013 at 11:35 am [Reply]

    @Alex Blaze (#92): I’m imaging graven idols ala’ Easter Island, all of Mary.

    *runs screaming*

  95. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    August 18th, 2013 at 11:35 am [Reply]

    imagining, even.

  96. Cloudbuster
    August 18th, 2013 at 11:37 am [Reply]

    @The Modesto Kid (#12): Dude, your comment has terrible halitosis!

  97. Baka Gaijin
    August 18th, 2013 at 11:54 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#76): See, it’s like this. For best coverage, pick up a Viking helmet next time you’re in Denmark. They’re made of sheet steel and have cow horns. The metal protects from the government’s evil controlling satellite waves and the cow horns can be polished inside, drink ensues!

    @Uncle Lumpy (#78): Oooh, the M65, for when you’re too cool for a moped.

    @billman (#81): I’ll take a virgin Cuba Libre without the lemon wedge.

    @seismic-2 (#83): Hmm.

    @Patrick (#84): Hm. Your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

    @Majicou (#90): Georgia Tech, UGA, whatevs. The Varsity isn’t the same since they opened branches.

  98. Jon I Am
    August 18th, 2013 at 11:55 am [Reply]

    Pickles: Why I Hate Cats 101.

    FW: Thanks, you condescending ass, but I’m sure he knows what glass is.

    Yesterday’s FC: While you’re looking for abandoned golf ball, kids , why don’t you do us all a favor and hunt for unexploded land mines in some war zone.

  99. Jon I Am
    August 18th, 2013 at 11:59 am [Reply]

    Sorry for the double post, but I forgot to post some comments.

    Judge Parker: Would I save your life at any cost? Probably not. You’re attractively drawn, but we need less people spouting your morally bankrupt national security ideas; not more.

    So yeah; you’re driving crazy the readers of this strip too, but not necessarily because of the bikini – because of the Cheneyesque rhetoric.

  100. Cloudbuster
    August 18th, 2013 at 11:59 am [Reply]

    @bobanero (#53): Where can I go to view the Sunday comics in all their throwaway panel glory?

    Plug for dailyink.com — totally worth the modest subscription fee!

  101. Her Father, John Darling
    August 18th, 2013 at 12:04 pm [Reply]

    @damanoid (#75): Say what you will about ‘Blondie,’ but at least its writers know how to keep it upbeat. The exact same joke, handled by Tom Batiuk, would end with Dagwood cutting his new shirt into ribbons while weeping.

    If this wasn’t so far away from the Thursday and Friday posts that Josh seems to favor, I’d predict you just made COTW finalists.

  102. Her Father, John Darling
    August 18th, 2013 at 12:05 pm [Reply]

    @The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan (#24): Anyway it may (or may not) interest Josh to know that there is such a thing as conservative criticism of Joss Whedon’s version of Battlestar Galactica
    I’m surprised to hear that. The BG remake from what I read was one of those shows, like 24, that conservatives seemed to embrace.

  103. Joe Blevins
    August 18th, 2013 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

    BLONDIE: The real issue here is that Dagwood gave a damn what people thought of his shirt when his plans for the day were to wear it while watching television alone.

    As for MARY WORTH, this requires a point-by-point breakdown:

    * (panel one) The spa itself has become sentient. It feeds off the sadness of its guests.

    * Aggie: “I lost my best friend after 10 years… and I don’t know why! She suddenly stopped talking to me!” – I think the Hitler haircut might have been a factor. Also your behavior, personality, demeanor, taste in clothes, and general outlook on life, which are all uniformly terrible. So maybe fix at least three of those. Start with the haircut, though.

    * I have to sympathize with Blonde Bob Lady #1 in the purple outfit. First, Maggie’s insane rant just rudely blocks out her whole head. Then, in the last panel when her face finally makes an appearance, the top of her head is obscured by a narration box which lumps her in with the “other participants.”

    * Then there’s Blonde Bob Lady #2, the one sitting next to the White-Haired One Herself. She goes to a rather ridiculous extreme to get her face “on camera” in the final panel.

    * I wonder about the one man we see here, the one sitting stoically with ramrod posture in the third panel. I hope he’s thinking to himself, “Just ignore the jibber jabber and concentrate on all those gorgeous gams. That’s what you paid for, after all. Look at ‘em! More pins than a bowling alley!”

  104. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    August 18th, 2013 at 12:20 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#91): Aw, that looks like my Lolly, without her eye patches.

  105. The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan
    August 18th, 2013 at 12:24 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#59): Minor child abuse and retaliation is the heart of darkness humor in the Katzenjammer Kids.

  106. The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan
    August 18th, 2013 at 12:26 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#67): That was the Pynchonesque conspiracy theory at the time, yes.

  107. Liam
    August 18th, 2013 at 12:28 pm [Reply]

    JP-”Never. I once destroyed an entire village just to save it.”

    A3G-”I knew it was you, Zoey. You broke my heart. You broke my heart.”

    MW-”And I shall be the one doing the helping.”

    FW-Now let’s ruin this fond memory by revealing that the barber was a pedophile who took advantage of boys like Harry and how the barber killed himself when his secret came out.

  108. Baka Gaijin
    August 18th, 2013 at 12:33 pm [Reply]

    @The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan (#105): Gotcha. Different times, different social mores.

  109. The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan
    August 18th, 2013 at 12:34 pm [Reply]

    @Majicou (#90): I sit corrected.

  110. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    August 18th, 2013 at 12:35 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#104): yay!

    I saw the American bulldog tag, and knew it needed to be shared in your general direction. :-D

    On semi-related news, I sent for and sent in a doggy DNA test kit, so we’ll know more about just what exactly Hans is in a couple of weeks. Not that he seems to mind me crooning “poodle-ish thing” to him.

    I didn’t need a new vacuum cleaner just yet anyways, old one still works. . . .

  111. The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan
    August 18th, 2013 at 12:41 pm [Reply]

    @Her Father, John Darling (#102): It may not have been universal. I think I read a screed on it at Big Hollywood.

  112. Ned Ryerson
    August 18th, 2013 at 12:47 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#59): @bobanero (#53): Usually you DailyInk has the full comic. Today it has none, none at all, even for those of us who’ve paid.

    @Cloudbuster (#100): Plug for dailyink.com — totally worth the modest subscription fee!

    Okay, conflicting comments here. Is DailyInk cutting off the panels for paying customers (if a subscriber wouldn’t mind checking and reporting back)?

  113. Ned Ryerson
    August 18th, 2013 at 12:48 pm [Reply]

    @Ned Ryerson (#112): Or maybe I misread Baka G’s comment. I’m so confused.

  114. Baka Gaijin
    August 18th, 2013 at 12:48 pm [Reply]

    Apartment 3-G Musings

    Apartment 3-G is totally confusing me. It’s like a bizarre Folgers commercial: “We’ve replaced the fine Zoey Apartment 3-G normally uses with Margo Magee. Let’s see if anyone can tell the difference.”

    People say Aldo Kelrast looks like Captain Kangaroo. The comparison is nothing compared to Zoey and Margo.

    Maybe Zoey one of the other personalities of Margo “Three Faces of Eve” Magee.

  115. Jim in Wisc.
    August 18th, 2013 at 12:52 pm [Reply]

    Baitle Beeley: What’s the general supposed to be doing with his hands in front of him like that? Warming up to grope Miss Buxley?

    Rapey Cancerstrokebean: “Cooler chest”? Is that what they call a refrigerator in Ahia?

    Sexy Rexy: Seriously, in the real world has a 5 year old kid ever been handed a four-book deal on a silver platter?

  116. Baka Gaijin
    August 18th, 2013 at 12:54 pm [Reply]

    @Ned Ryerson (#112): Misread. Almost every other day you get the entire comic as a paid subscriber of DailyInk. For some reason, this morning DailyInk didn’t show any comics at all. Just the titles of the comics over blank spaces. They finally appeared, much later than usual. One of the hazards of being many hours ahead of American time zones: I get the problems while everyone who could fix them is in bed.

    Something I haven’t tried is the free iPad/Android app. One day when I have reliable internet I may.

  117. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    August 18th, 2013 at 12:58 pm [Reply]

    if anyone besides Baka Gaijin was wondering about the dinner conversation yesterday, details (and a link to the recipe) can be found here.

  118. Phred22
    August 18th, 2013 at 1:03 pm [Reply]

    MW: You think this is angry! Wait till Mary says “I’m a compulsive meddler…”

  119. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 18th, 2013 at 1:04 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#116): Something I haven’t tried is the free iPad/Android app.

    I didn’t know there was one until you mentioned it just now, so I investigated it. The Android version is only a free one week trial, $24 a year after that. It only gets an average of 2.2 stars out of 5 from 48 reviewers. Seems to be bit of a memory hog, too. 220MB, and it can’t be moved to a SD card. I may give the free trial a whirl anyway.

  120. Majicou
    August 18th, 2013 at 1:08 pm [Reply]

    In the world of things that are a lot like comics (and not “alot like”), Allie Brosh’s book Hyperbole and a Half, based on her blog, is available for preorder, meaning it didn’t vanish into the publishing void.

  121. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    August 18th, 2013 at 1:12 pm [Reply]

    @Majicou (#120): I was so relieved when she resurfaced!

  122. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    August 18th, 2013 at 1:14 pm [Reply]

    @Majicou (#120): read ALL the things!!!!!

  123. I speak Jive
    August 18th, 2013 at 1:16 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#66): Re: JP – I read the comics in the print Washington Post first and was annoyed to see the story suddenly turn to entitled little Sophie. Then I checked JP online and saw a completely different strip. Is the Washington Post that – censorious? Priggish?

    @Jim in Wisc. (#115): Cooler chest – In olden days, stores kept sodas in chest-like coolers instead of upright refrigerators. I think this is what he is referring to.

    @Jim in Wisc. (#115): Re: Rex Morgan – Next, she is hired to write the screenplay for the movie.

  124. Baka Gaijin
    August 18th, 2013 at 1:17 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#117): “Cute” little strip steaks? Obviously I’m not a foodie.

    @Phred22 (#118): Heh heh heh.

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#119): I forgot about the cost. I pay for a subscription to DailyInk and GoComics. The app would be “free” to me. I wonder if the iPad app is better?

  125. Mars
    August 18th, 2013 at 1:23 pm [Reply]

    I don’t even think slang is a thing anymore. There aren’t nearly as many as there once were, some are being reused from the past (“fly” came back at one point), and most damaging, I’ve noticed today’s parents using slang immediately after the kids invent it. “Chillax” went from Disney Channel to board meetings in about a week.

    But I know “wound” isn’t an actual slang that exists, unless they mean “vagina.”

  126. Ratiocinator
    August 18th, 2013 at 1:28 pm [Reply]

    ASM: Ah yes, the famous Great Fountain of the Costa Verde Airport. It’s…really pretty much the only thing that Costa Verde has going for it as far as stuff that makes the country stand out. That and the constant bloodshed.

    And of course, falling onto water from a great height is never fatal, as we all know.

    FW: The intended joke today isn’t that kids have never heard of glass, right? Because that would be stupid even for Batiuk. Beer bottles are still made of glass. Windows are made of glass. If Owen means anything other than “Wait, they used to make bottles out of glass too?” then this strip just got almost as unrealistic as 9 Chickweed Lane.

    Garfield: WHAT IN THE HOLY HELL IS THAT MONSTROSITY?!!!???? (And also, what’s the inflatable thing he brought into the pool supposed to be?)

    JP: April goes all neo-con the last several days and now Randy’s like “That’s very admirable!” Fuck this shit.

    RMMD: “And, don’t worry, for the money you’re giving us, we’ll make sure Sarah puts her mind to this!”

    @Droopy Says (#y289):

    “Sure, no amount of collateral damage is too great a price to pay for what I want! And I’m glad you’re the sort of woman who would accept any deaths, say those of children, to save her bouncy tits!”

    Wow. This strip was funny when it was “Here, let me give you oodles of money and applaud you for breathing,” but it just crossed over to the dark side.

    Word. I used to unironically like Judge Parker most of the time. I’m not sure if I’ll be able to keep doing that.

  127. Ratiocinator
    August 18th, 2013 at 1:43 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#19):

    JP: wow. just . . . .wow.

    Yeah.

    @The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan (#24): Huh. I could see some people getting upset because they changed things from the classic series, but how anybody could see it as politically motivated mystifies me.

    @Uncle Lumpy (#36): Agreed.

  128. Shrug: There's a Lum, Lum Trail A-Winding
    August 18th, 2013 at 1:48 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#y285):

    ” Did you listen to the whole season of Lum & Abner? And remain awake?”

    I was driving, so, yes, the fact that I’m still here means I remained awake. I particularly like the “running a travelling circus” and “setting up a chain letter using spare hogs instead of dimes” arcs.

    Slightly over a season’s worth, actually — about 150 shows. At that, I was listening to them for the second time, since I had previously purchased an mp3 from an incompetent compiler, and the shows on that one had been transferred in almost-random order.

    I suspect I will not live long enough to ever go for a third go-around on them, though (especially since I have many more seasons of LUM ‘N’ ABNER so far unheard, and thousands of other OTR shows I’d also like to get through…

  129. bats :[
    August 18th, 2013 at 1:52 pm [Reply]

    I showed Blondie to mr. bats :[, and he covets that shirt.

  130. Captain Cheapjoke
    August 18th, 2013 at 1:55 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug: There’s a Lum, Lum Trail A-Winding (#128):

    @Shrug, on the Otter Hand (#y98):

    “I assumed that “I’m going to check the shoreline for otter traps” was Mark’s euphemism for “Too many pancakes this morning — must find large bush soon.” ”

    Deciding to Move With the Times, Mark disdains just looking around for one and instead googles “large bush.”

    He decides the results will make a GOOD STORY.

  131. Captain Cheapjoke
    August 18th, 2013 at 1:56 pm [Reply]

    Klutzy copy and paste job there…

  132. Majicou
    August 18th, 2013 at 2:00 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#121): And her post-hiatus blog update seemed to indicate that relief was justified.

  133. Liam
    August 18th, 2013 at 2:02 pm [Reply]

    MW-And in the back Mary has a look of concern on her face but we all know that she is eager to jump in there and meddle.

    Crankshaft-Soon his days will be filled with inedible brownies and mailbox homicides.

  134. tb4000
    August 18th, 2013 at 2:03 pm [Reply]

    Blondie: I am assuming Dag went to Urban Dictionary to locate those definitions. He should return once more to determine why Herb keeps referring to Blondie as a “thirsty hoe.”

  135. Shrug, Looking to Put in Some Overtime
    August 18th, 2013 at 2:03 pm [Reply]

    @The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan (#39):

    “GoComics is featuring the first-ever Katzenjammer Kids this morning, from (drum roll), December 12, 1897.”

    Oh no! This means I’m almost 116 years behind on my snarking!

  136. Shrug, Unclear on the Concept
    August 18th, 2013 at 2:08 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#49):

    “One of those little bumbershoots helps, too.”

    You barbarian! I could never shoot a bumber — they have such big, sad eyes.

    ///I’m willing to do jello shots though. Jello looks like it needs to be put out of its misery.

  137. Ian Duncan
    August 18th, 2013 at 2:16 pm [Reply]

    @Mars (#125): ‘Wound’ means ‘vagina’ in England. In England, *everything* means ‘vagina’.

  138. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    August 18th, 2013 at 2:20 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#124): NY strip steaks, they were ~1/3 of a pound or roughly half the typical size. hence the descriptor of “cute” and “little”

  139. Shrug: What's in a Name?
    August 18th, 2013 at 2:23 pm [Reply]

    @Ian Duncan (#137):

    So the UK editions of John MacDonald’s THE GIRL, THE GOLD WATCH, AND EVERYTHING get retitled. . . ?

    And lyrics to the songs “Everything’s Coming Up Roses…” and “Everything That’s Part of You…”

    That must be very confusing.

    ///Mind if we just call everything “Bruce”?

  140. Northern lurker
    August 18th, 2013 at 2:25 pm [Reply]

    @Ian Duncan (#137): you share names with my stepson. Ian is that you?

  141. Captain Cheaplaugh
    August 18th, 2013 at 2:25 pm [Reply]

    Usually I can count on the Sunday versions of 9 CHICKWEED LANE to be a welcome change from the dailies, but today it was business as usual — with the lead character spending the entire strip just chasing tail.

  142. seismic-2
    August 18th, 2013 at 2:33 pm [Reply]

    JP: Mr. Mullet, Mr. Handlebar, or Mr. Costello – which one will be the first to take the floppy-hat plunge into the ocean, for staring too closely at April? (Yeah, one mustn’t get too close to April. Watch out, March and May.)

    MT: It’s that Cretaceous era fern that Mark was showing Rusty on Wednesday! It’s been waiting for over 80 million years to get noticed, and now it hits the big time time twice within a week! I think Mary Worth has a friend from the Cretaceous era named “Fern”, too. They went to school together.

  143. bats :[
    August 18th, 2013 at 2:33 pm [Reply]

    @Old Folkie (#6): re 9CL: true fact. Then again, familiarity breeds comtempt (I read that in a Mary Worth narration block once), and BMcE would probably end up screwing up the cat-only comics, too.

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#19): re JP: yeah, you, and all the guys in the pool… :D

    @Ned Ryerson (#30): i’ve had success on centalaz with all the extra panels when I punch “Buy a print.”

    @Mibbitmaker (#33): you say Furshlugginer, and I say Fershlugginer!

    @Rusty (#51): Coke with cane sugar is/was also available in the NE US during Passover, to avoid the possibility of corn leavening. (I think it really was to get a better-tasting beverage.)

    @Baka Gaijin (#64): Agriculture, pure and simple.

  144. seismic-2
    August 18th, 2013 at 2:37 pm [Reply]

    @Ian Duncan (#137), @Shrug: What’s in a Name? (#139): So Douglas Adams was really writing about “Life, the Universe, and Vagina”? Come to think of it, he probably was.

  145. Mibbitmaker
    August 18th, 2013 at 2:39 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#143): ….let’s call the whole thing potrzebie.

  146. Poteet
    August 18th, 2013 at 2:40 pm [Reply]

    9CL– Is that big cat eating a much smaller cat? Am I missing something?

  147. Mibbitmaker
    August 18th, 2013 at 2:43 pm [Reply]

    JP:

    (The following should be said like Joel Robinson riffing)

    Is it my imagination, or is Colonel Flagg hawt?!

  148. Poteet
    August 18th, 2013 at 2:44 pm [Reply]

    PV — Such beautiful artwork. I can hear the cries of the gulls, I can smell the salt breeze, I can feel the mighty waves, I need Dramamine stat.

  149. Daniel
    August 18th, 2013 at 2:48 pm [Reply]

    MW Your friend thinks she’s too good for you now. Have her workplace SWATted.

  150. Will
    August 18th, 2013 at 2:54 pm [Reply]

    /d @Cloudbuster (#100): For the Comics Kingdom comics (which I also read on the Seattle PI site) you can just click the “Buy A Print” link, which takes you to a humongous version of the strip complete with throwaway panels.

    As for New Coke, the basic story is that Coca Cola was worried about Pepsi gaining on them (remember the Pepsi Challenge ads?). When they made Diet Coke, they decided to make it from a fresh start, not based on the classic formula. It was (and still is) a huge hit, so they decided to make a sugared (or corn syrup, whatever) version of it. That beat both Old Coke and Pepsi in blind taste tests, so they made it New Coke. And then everybody freaked out about losing real Coke, and they eventually had to walk it back. I seem to recall they kept selling the new stuff as “Coke II” for a while, but I think it’s totally gone now.

    As for me, give me an ice cold can of TaB, and I’m a happy man.

  151. Anonymous
    August 18th, 2013 at 2:55 pm [Reply]

    Do they really make computers like the one Dagwood is using here where you have to simultaneously use the mouse and touch the screen? Sounds tedious

  152. bats :[
    August 18th, 2013 at 2:55 pm [Reply]

    @billman (#81): mr. bats :[ concurs (he used to own a bar. a nude bar. ’nuff said.).

  153. Will
    August 18th, 2013 at 2:59 pm [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#151): Have to? No. But many machines built for Windows 8 allow you to use both at the same time.

  154. bats :[
    August 18th, 2013 at 3:00 pm [Reply]

    @Alex Blaze (#82): Schadenfreude much, Mary?
    And while I’d hoped there would be more to the Pax Healthiness Resort Story, I kinda hoped Mary would meet a nice older gentleman who dined with her one evening and then perfected her downward dog posture, or something like that…

  155. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    August 18th, 2013 at 3:02 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#152): I am now envisioning Batty from Ferngully as a bartender, surrounded by scantily clad monster girls.

    and I’m surprisingly OK with that.

  156. Alison
    August 18th, 2013 at 3:07 pm [Reply]

    “Mary Worth”: Let this be a lesson, Shannon. Only the mighty Mary Worth can meddle in other peoples’ business and get praised for it. A meddler-wannabe like you will just get yelled at. Leave this to the professional.

    “Blondie”: Just a few weeks ago I was shopping and a teenager told me my shirt was “sick”. I mentioned this to my mom and she got offended on my behalf and was all, “That was rude! Why would she say that?” I had to explain that “sick” means “good” now. So I thought “Blondie” was actually kind of funny today. (Although I do think it’s rather silly for “sick” to mean “good”. I feel the same way when people say “ridiculous” to mean “good”.)

  157. Austria
    August 18th, 2013 at 3:14 pm [Reply]

    Maybe Aggie’s oversensitivity and random angry outbursts are the reason behind it, maybe her best friend just got tired of her shit and I’M JUST SAYING

  158. Baka Gaijin
    August 18th, 2013 at 3:25 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug: There’s a Lum, Lum Trail A-Winding (#128): You’re a better man than I, Gunga Shrug. The circus was an OK and would have been better without the Squire. I’d forgotten about the chain letter. It was a great story once it got going. Once. It. Got. Going.

    @Liam (#133): Meddlepalooza 2013!

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#138): Oh. Now I know “Cute” is the default size here.

    @bats :[ (#143): Agriculture? Could work. A reference to “personal gardening” if you know what I mean, and I wish I didn’t.

    @Will (#150): They still make Tab? How about Fresca?

  159. Baka Gaijin
    August 18th, 2013 at 3:28 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug: There’s a Lum, Lum Trail A-Winding (#128): I forgot to ask: Have you ever tried Horlicks? I got some in England. Not what I’d expected based on the commercials. It could be one of those “the US has a different product than the rest of the world” situations. For instance, Ovaltine is different overseas. It’s much sweeter in the US.

  160. Steve the Pocket
    August 18th, 2013 at 3:39 pm [Reply]

    The far more baffling thing about today’s Blondie, to me, is the implication that the artist thinks iMacs have touch screens. And that you’re supposed to use them and the mouse at the same time. I know newspaper cartoonists are behind the times and out of touch, but they pretty much all use Macs, don’t they?

  161. bats :[
    August 18th, 2013 at 3:49 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#146): a badly-drawn panel (not artistically, but in conveying the message) — in the penultimate panel, the kitten, having exchanged “looks” with the older cat (and you know what “looks” between cats can lead to), has launched itself at the cat’s face (hence the big cat’s surprised expression and the bottle-brush tail). It end with the big cat probably hugging the kitten (off-camera) and grooming the hell out of it (like big cats do to recalcitrant kittens).
    The launch/movement of the kitten completely failed.
    And yes, mr. bats :[ had to explain it to me. It makes sense, but I wish it would’ve worked better than it did. It’s cats, after all.

  162. jim, some guy in iowa
    August 18th, 2013 at 3:50 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#146): I think they’re just supposed to be playing. We’ve just read way too much McE and expect the worst, though

  163. Lumaca Morente
    August 18th, 2013 at 4:00 pm [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#33): Thank you for that scholarly explanation of the ‘Fur/Fershlugginer’ controversy. Like the Shakespeare/Earl of Oxford debate, it will rage for centuries.

  164. Lumaca Morente
    August 18th, 2013 at 4:04 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#152): Were you in his employ when you met?

  165. Alison
    August 18th, 2013 at 4:17 pm [Reply]

    A-ha! I just put my finger on what Shannon’s dialogue in MW reminds me of. Her “Review past interactions for possible causes” is straight out of Nintendo video game from the 1980s. You know how the video game heroes were often meeting other characters who would give them advice, and it was always stilted stuff like “Find sword where red bush grows” or “If unsure, look East” or something.

    Shannon’s advice would have fit in perfectly, which means she has caught up to 1980s technology, which means she is lightyears ahead of everyone else in this strip.

  166. Anonymous
    August 18th, 2013 at 4:22 pm [Reply]

    Luann: Why is Tiffany invited you ask? How else is everyone going to know that she’s evil. Do you not realize that without Tiffany to Slut shame, the entire cast is going to have conversations that don’t pertain to hating Tiffany, which means they have no choice but to have ‘GASP’ have conversations that don’t involve hatred or slut-shaming. The party will be ruined, and Luann will bitch about not being complimented as the goddess of Inner beauty she truly is, seeing as she’s only told that when Tiffany’s around.

    Lockhorns: I see Leroy and Loretta have another couple over. In a manner of minutes, I predict everyone drunkenly playing “Hump The Hostess” as Leroy and the wife of his guest chant “Who’s afraid of Virginia Woolf! Virginia Woolf! Virginia Woolf!”

    Family Circus:

  167. Droopy Says
    August 18th, 2013 at 4:28 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#146): A friend of mine recently (choose one) adopted a kitten/became the personal slave of a kitten. The kitten has just started to learn that you don’t show affection by biting. That includes biting someone on the face.

    Fortunately kittens don’t eat much . . .

  168. Joshua
    August 18th, 2013 at 4:37 pm [Reply]

    Definition 4 of “wound” on urbandictionary.com reads:

    a synonym for cool, awesome, sweet, good looking, tight and can be used in place of “o snap” or another place felt necessary.

    However, this definition currently has only 14 up votes and 89 down votes. For all I know, it might have been added today in reaction to this Blondie strip.

    Still, I give the Blondie cartoonists credit for presenting the situation in a semi-realistic manner. When Dagwood’s children use slang, he recognizes that it is slang, and rather than interpreting it literally, he goes online to look up what the expressions mean. The search engine he uses is Google (not some mock version like Boogle or Moogle) and his monitor has a flat screen. The action of the strip depicts Alexander and Cookie complimenting their father’s clothing and him thanking them, thus leaving the reader with a favorable impression of all three characters. It’s not hilarious, but it’s not stupid, depressing, or incoherent, which places it above a lot of other current strips.

  169. demoncat4
    August 18th, 2013 at 4:37 pm [Reply]

    mw oh my some one other then mary started to offer advice to one of the group and from aggie anger now. looks like yoga lady will soon learn one does not give advice to people or judge them unless its mary herself. blondie interesting given dagwood fashion sense that his kids would actully tell him his out is some what cool instead of really square and he should not go out in public with that thing.

  170. Amos Snarkadder
    August 18th, 2013 at 4:38 pm [Reply]

    MW “…without rhyme or reason.”
    Reason? Who can say? Rhyme? Maybe this will do:
    It’s the most tragic tale ever related
    About a gal with a friendship ill-fated.
    Her trip to the Pax Wellness Resort
    Was a failure, I’m sad to report.
    She spilled her guts, then left Aggie-tated!

  171. Droopy Says
    August 18th, 2013 at 4:40 pm [Reply]

    @Ratiocinator (#126): I just looked at JP’s entitled-Sophie, jailbait replacement in the PI site, then looked again at the one on the AZ comics site. The comparison made me think of the exchange between two English politicians: “I predict, sir, that you will die either on the gallows or from some loathsome disease.” “That depends, sir, on whether I embrace your principles or your mistress.” With this strip, you can get it both ways.

  172. Consumerist Shrug
    August 18th, 2013 at 4:49 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#159):

    No, I’ve never seen Horlick’s for sale around here; if I did I would buy and try some. (It sounds like Fizzies but for malted milk rather than KoolAid — not that Fizzies is made any more either, so far as I know.) I’m especially intrigued by their insistence that you can/could get it in “either natural or chocolate flavors,” as I’ve always loved things like French Natural Ripple ice cream.

    After listening to the appropriate JACK BENNY seasons I decided I ought to buy some Grape Nuts Flakes (I’m sure I had it sometimes as a kid, but I’ve not been a cereal eater for many decades). Not sure if that’s still on the market either — I haven’t run into it in my local supermarkets.

    (I’m not enough of a JACK BENNY fan to take up smoking Luckies, though.)

    My flypaper is, of course, Einbinder’s.

  173. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    August 18th, 2013 at 4:51 pm [Reply]

    had a mashup rattling around in my brain for some time, finally got around to doing it up.

    Best Presents.

    It’s a Love Is mashup, and is rather naughty. consider yourself warned.

  174. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    August 18th, 2013 at 4:53 pm [Reply]

    omg.

    FENNEC!!!

  175. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    August 18th, 2013 at 4:54 pm [Reply]

    *grumble*

    fennec.

  176. bats :[
    August 18th, 2013 at 5:00 pm [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#164): no. Sheesh. Nobody would pay to see that, although it would be an incentive to drink a lot more…

  177. McCaslin
    August 18th, 2013 at 5:08 pm [Reply]

    So Dagwood wises up to the new-ish teen lingo, yet still fails to recognize when it’s couched in decades-old teen sarcasm. Naturally, tone-sensitive Daisy is baffled at his idiocy, unaware that this is the same guy who can’t resize browser windows — only drag them somewhere else when his “pointing hand” gets in the way.

  178. Peanut Gallery
    August 18th, 2013 at 5:14 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#59): I wear coke-bottle glasses. Does that count?

  179. bats :[
    August 18th, 2013 at 5:18 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#173): ewwwww.
    And not because of the subject per se, but that it involves Love is…

    By the way, I was in our mega-used media store the other day, and there’s a ceramic “Love is…” flower pot for sale. Does anybody have a burning need for one (I can’t imagine it selling quickly.) queek? Sequitur? commodorejohn? :)

  180. bats :[
    August 18th, 2013 at 5:21 pm [Reply]

    And since it’s one of those lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer, when one makes mashups, or at least considers mashups, or even story crossovers:

    In a perfect world, Rex Morgan, M.D. would have to fly out to Pax World o’ Health Resort to investigate a MRSA outbreak on yoga mats.

  181. Dale
    August 18th, 2013 at 5:23 pm [Reply]

    BLONDIE

    How long has “sick” meant “good”?
    Who’s the sick MF who came up with that concept?

  182. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    August 18th, 2013 at 5:28 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#179): re flowerpot: words fail me.

  183. Dartpaw86
    August 18th, 2013 at 5:29 pm [Reply]

    Dagwood, that lingo was dead long before Google came around.

  184. Dale
    August 18th, 2013 at 5:31 pm [Reply]

    @Ben Wasabi (#10):

    Wrong. “it’s” is spelled i-t-’-s.
    Besides, this one was the contraction, not the possessive.

  185. Anonymous
    August 18th, 2013 at 5:46 pm [Reply]

    MW: However Alien-Gypsy Woman phrases it, the advice sucks.
    “Oh, your friend stopped talking to you? Why don’t you dwell on what you said or neglected to say. That’s it, keep beating yourself up over it. It was obviously your fault, so don’t move on with your other friends until you correct your malfunction.”

  186. Little Guy
    August 18th, 2013 at 5:46 pm [Reply]

    JP:

    WHAT IN THE NAME OF KATHERINE’S GRAHAM’S MASTHEAD DID THEY REPLACE MY SUBSCRIPTION OF MIKE MANLEY BOOBIAGE WITH???

  187. Sequitur
    August 18th, 2013 at 5:50 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#64):

    I don’t get Beardo today. Little help?

    I saw other answer you got and queek is probably correct. However, I think it’s because they both buried their poop in the sand.

  188. pugfuggly
    August 18th, 2013 at 6:06 pm [Reply]

    @The Modesto Kid (#12):

    I hope you will do your part to help “has terrible halitosis” become the new “is wicked sick”.

    What’s great is that it rhymes with ‘chronic cirrhosis’ which is another buzzword I’m going to popularize.

    @John C Fremont (#29):

    that never stops being funny….

  189. Amos Snarkadder
    August 18th, 2013 at 6:36 pm [Reply]

    Luann “My job is to contact 6 people.”
    “And that’s so complicated?”
    “Yeah. For a teen, I’m remarkably inept at even the basics of social media. And besides, it doesn’t involve Quill, so I don’t really give a rat’s ass.”
    “That’s my daughter! Inner beauty!”

  190. Amos Snarkadder
    August 18th, 2013 at 6:42 pm [Reply]

  191. Calico
    August 18th, 2013 at 6:53 pm [Reply]

    It seems that I can almost always find a Sopranos clip that fits the bill when it comes to certain comics.
    Here’s Janice and her anger management group – as the UPS guy says, “This is priceless.”
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5H3TiMgE6ME
    So much for the management part.

  192. Liam
    August 18th, 2013 at 6:58 pm [Reply]

    JP-”I’ll let you do it this one time but never again ask me about my business.”

    FC-”I’m sorry but only Jesus can carry you.”

    FW-And speaking of things that are hard.

    FW 2-”Oh like that house we kept throwing stones at until it broke and killed those people inside.”

    Sally Forth-Ted was going to whore you out in exchange for the pizza.

    Slylock Fox-I don’t understand the solution. Couldn’t of Shady carry his matches in a waterproof container?

  193. Amos Snarkadder
    August 18th, 2013 at 6:58 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#44): Oops. Oversnarpologies.

  194. VDM
    August 18th, 2013 at 7:09 pm [Reply]

    OK, this is the funniest thing I’ve seen in a long time – accidental caption switching.
    http://imgur.com/a/xECam

  195. Artist formerly known as Ben
    August 18th, 2013 at 7:20 pm [Reply]

    MW: You know how long term drunkards refer to New Year’s Eve as “amateur’s night”? That’s how Mary looks upon this failed meddle.

  196. Artist formerly known as Ben
    August 18th, 2013 at 7:22 pm [Reply]

    SFx: Shady really half-asses it on the lying this time, which Slylock rightly finds insulting.

    Dogs of C-Kennel: Ah, now that the lead time has elapsed we get to see the Mastroianni brothers’ tribute to the late James Gandolfini.

    S-M: Um, no. You don’t throw a guy from at least 200 feet in the air—and probably a great deal more—into a marble basin filled with shallow water and expect him to get out unharmed. The dude would be dead, unless maybe the fountain is made of ice cream and sponge cake.

    Phantom: Up against the evil twins of the A3G girls, the Phantom starts by taking out Tommie. I would have thought Margo would be the priority.

    JP: “What you’re doing is bending over in a string bikini. Hell yes I believe in it!”

    RMMD: Ms Lanning and June are about to take a walk by the boneyard where those who’ve failed in their obligations to the museum before lie.

    Marvin: “Speaking of teeth, hope you’ve enjoyed having yours.”

  197. Artist formerly known as Ben
    August 18th, 2013 at 7:27 pm [Reply]

    @The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan (#24): Man, do you want to end up in the geek stockades? It’s Ronald Moore who revived Battlestar Galactica, not good ol’ Joss. But yes, I’ve heard the criticism. Making Starbuck a woman has triggered a lot of “political correctness gone mad” teeth gnashing as well.

  198. tallyHO
    August 18th, 2013 at 7:47 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#154):

    Everyone would have enjoyed it if my cult/leader theory came true. If you add a twist of romance and betrayal into the mix, we would not be dealing with this “sharing club” confabulation.

    Geez’weeze. Weeks in the desert and weeks in a meeting. As a premise–one which is intended to entice–what part of MW is being interesting? I’ll tell ya right now what could be insterted into the strip that would meet with instant approval:

    a nudist in the background being barely shown and saying nothing. Just popping up in panel one and by panel two is being carted off by security guards.

  199. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 18th, 2013 at 7:48 pm [Reply]

    @Consumerist Shrug (#172): My flypaper is, of course, Einbinder’s.

    What a coincidence! I’ve gradually come to trust them, over the course of several generations.

  200. Chaze
    August 18th, 2013 at 7:54 pm [Reply]

    #200

    Woo hoooo I’m a collector’s item.

  201. GrafSpee
    August 18th, 2013 at 7:56 pm [Reply]

    @jim, some guy in iowa (#32): @bobanero (#53): The Comics Kingdom has started to clip some of the Sunday strips. You can see the entire strip by clicking on the link to “Buy a Print” — it goes to dailyink.com and will bring up a larger and complete version of the strip. Some of the Sunday strips are so small that it is the only way to be able to read them. This feature was broken this morning but it is working now.

  202. cheech wizard
    August 18th, 2013 at 7:58 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#142): Despite the obvious references to her NSA background, I don’t think April’s the type to throw a bunch of guys overboard for staring at her boobs. She’ll just dive in the pool and remove the drain cover. It does discharge to the sea, right?

  203. Carolina Boy
    August 18th, 2013 at 8:09 pm [Reply]

    So, April is offering up a cold-blooded killer’s gaze from behind the sun glasses — and I (inexplicably) find myself ruminating on how precisely she might have done in Floppy Hat Lady.

    I see April casually wandering to a dark, isolated section near the ship’s stern — a spot where you might slip something into the water without it being noticed. Now, April has demonstrated a fondness for firearms in the past, so a a pistol with a silencer wouldn’t be out of the question. No doubt, any spy worth her salt can store at least a couple of .45′s in her bikini without ruining the boobilicious lines. But the blood would be potentially messy and hard to clean up.

    No, I’m seeing April with a garrotte. Sweet, bikini-clad April, wielding a bit of piano wire, slipping up behind Floppy Hat Lady and tightening the noose until it doesn’t need to be tight any more. There’s your loving honey bumchkins, Judge Randy! (This scenario would be entirely consistent with today’s gaze from behind the sunglasses.)

  204. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 18th, 2013 at 8:20 pm [Reply]

    @Amos Snarkadder (#170): Well done, Snarkadder! Effulgent, I might add.

    When Amos Snarkadder writes verse,
    Curmudgeons should listen, not curse.
    Do not lambaste
    His poetical taste,
    Believe me, I’ve written much worse.

  205. Peanut Gallery
    August 18th, 2013 at 8:23 pm [Reply]

    @Jim in Wisc. (#115), @I speak Jive (#123): A cooler chest like this. That’s some seriously old nostalgia. I’m no whippersnapper, and the only time I remember seeing one of these, I was a really little kid, visiting a tiny, ancient-looking gas station/store operated by a tiny, ancient-looking wizened old man.

  206. Rev. Nehemiah Scudder, Internet Pastor
    August 18th, 2013 at 8:31 pm [Reply]

    @Consumerist Shrug (#172): I’ve never seen Horlick’s for sale around here; if I did I would buy and try some.

    Libertine, voluptuary, debauchee, lecher! Evidently your spelling is no better than your morals. Imagine, paying for whore licks! Fie, sir, fie!

    // Repent while you still can!

  207. The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan
    August 18th, 2013 at 8:37 pm [Reply]

    After many interruptions, distractions, etc., I present to you a rhetorical answer to Randy Parker’s not-so-rhetorical question, and by “rhetorical,” I really mean “God bless Mike Manley.”

  208. I speak Jive
    August 18th, 2013 at 8:38 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#205): Yes, that’s it. I know of these things, but I can’t say if I have ever seen one in real life. I do remember when all sodas came in glass bottles!

  209. Mr O'Malley
    August 18th, 2013 at 8:39 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#205): I remember occasionally seeing those coolers in rural gas stations. You had to pull the bottle through a series of slots until it reached the gate that would be unlocked by your coins. In the wet versions mentioned, the whole thing was full of ice water.

    Humming “I Got Your Ice Cold Nugrape” was optional.

  210. Rev. Nehemiah Scudder, Internet Pastor
    August 18th, 2013 at 8:40 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#205): I remember seeing them quite often in small town gas stations, and marina bait shops in Florida in the early to mid sixties. They were old fashioned, but not uncommon.

  211. jim, some guy in iowa
    August 18th, 2013 at 8:51 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#205): Seems like there was one of those things in an old country store out in the sticks when I was a kid in the late 70s.

    reading the text, I think I know where Batiuk came up with the word “vendo” for a vending machine… as in “reach into that vendo and grab me a coke, wouldja?”

  212. jim, some guy in iowa
    August 18th, 2013 at 8:52 pm [Reply]

  213. Gladly, the cross-eyed bear
    August 18th, 2013 at 8:53 pm [Reply]

    @Rev. Nehemiah Scudder, Internet Pastor (#206): If you have a way of receiving whore licks without paying, we’re all ears!

  214. The Diceman
    August 18th, 2013 at 8:54 pm [Reply]

    Anyone else start getting spam recently after commenting here? I know they say email addresses won’t be seen by anyone else, but this is the only place I use this particular address, and now I’m getting spam….

  215. TimP
    August 18th, 2013 at 8:59 pm [Reply]

    @The Diceman (#214): Nope, nothing of the sort showing up over here on the address I use to comment. Hope that helps.

  216. Cloudbuster
    August 18th, 2013 at 9:02 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#196): Hell yes I believe in it!

    “And all the guys in the pool are behind you 100%!”

  217. Ukulele Ike
    August 18th, 2013 at 9:05 pm [Reply]

    @Consumerist Shrug (#172): “My flypaper is, of course, Einbinder’s.”

    Yeah, but where do you get your cast-iron ingots?

    (I always thought the flypaper came from EINDERBINDER’S, Which, of course, is funnier. But did I add a syllable erroneously?)

  218. Peanut Gallery
    August 18th, 2013 at 9:05 pm [Reply]

    @The Diceman (#214), No spam yet, but I do have the “Ice Cold Nugrape” song stuck in my head now. :-)

    But seriously, I also have an email address I only use here, and I’ve had no problems with it.

  219. Cloudbuster
    August 18th, 2013 at 9:06 pm [Reply]

    @The Diceman (#214): I recently got a comics-related spam to the address I use here, which I found a bit suspicious, but I only got one, and there are other comic-related sites that have this address.

  220. Rev. Nehemiah Scudder, Internet Pastor
    August 18th, 2013 at 9:11 pm [Reply]

    @The Diceman (#214): I’ve never heard of anyone having a problem like that here — certainly I haven’t. Let Josh or Uncle Lumpy know about it, for sure. Josh is below at “email josh” — I think Uncle is “unclelumpy@comcast.com.

  221. Amos Snarkadder
    August 18th, 2013 at 9:13 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#204): Aw, garsh! Thank you, sir, thank you. And a poem, too!
    I’m honored to be so recognized by Your Most Excellent Refulgency!

  222. Amos Snarkadder
    August 18th, 2013 at 9:17 pm [Reply]

    @The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan (#207): Bwahahaha! Brilliant!
    Now imagining the things you could do with a Jackel Rod ball!

  223. Baka Gaijin
    August 18th, 2013 at 9:18 pm [Reply]

    @Consumerist Shrug (#172): Forget about the Horlicks. The chocolate flavor was horrible. Worse than European Ovaltine, and that’s saying something. Think Postum. If you’re not going to respect Mr. Benny’s Lucky Strikes, how about Jello? They sponsored his show for a few seasons. I think you could get it at Eastern Columbia, Broadway and Ninth.

    @Peanut Gallery (#178): Can you drink cola out of ‘em?

    @bats :[ (#180): Oh boy, I’d pay to see that.

  224. Vince M
    August 18th, 2013 at 9:18 pm [Reply]

    @Mr O’Malley (#209): Those vending machines, with mysterious regional sodas, were high points of long family road trips for me and my sibs some 50 years ago, visiting relatives in the upper Great Plains or the Deep South in the middle of summer. In cars without air conditioning. There’s a resurgence of sorts of glass bottled sodas, often in little produce markets (and my local hardware store for some reason) which I’m all for.

  225. Amos Snarkadder
    August 18th, 2013 at 9:26 pm [Reply]

    @Mr O’Malley (#209): I remember those! In a corner business office. It was a treat to go buy a 6-1/2 oz Coke and maneuver it through the mechanism. But it was refrigerated, no ice water in the chest.

  226. Baka Gaijin
    August 18th, 2013 at 9:28 pm [Reply]

    @Amos Snarkadder (#189): It’s Luann we’re talking about. She wouldn’t know “ept” if it bit her in the lip.

    @VDM (#194): Is that real?

    @The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan (#207): Very good!

    @The Diceman (#214): Luck of the draw. The spammers probably spammed the entire domain.

    @jim, some guy in iowa (#211): I saw “vendo” too. Been on this board too long.

  227. His Most Excellent Refulgency, Rev. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 18th, 2013 at 9:33 pm [Reply]

    @Amos Snarkadder (#221): Not at all, not at all. Delighted to pay tribute to such talent. And thanks for my new nom!

    // Take that, Right Venerable!

  228. Jessy S.
    August 18th, 2013 at 9:37 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#78): For the record, glad Crazy Harry loves Coke because Pepsi, at least as far as I heard it, includes aborted babies.

  229. seismic-2
    August 18th, 2013 at 9:40 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#205), @Mr O’Malley (#209), @Vince M (#224): The ice slurry-filled version of the move-the-bottle-through-the-rack-manually vending machines were fairly common in the South in the 1950s. It was the preferred method of dispensing Orange Crush and Nehi grape. They had them in the same gas stations and general stores where you bought your peppermint sticks and Moon Pies.

  230. The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan
    August 18th, 2013 at 9:43 pm [Reply]

    @Amos Snarkadder (#222): Well, the next time Cherry comes around in a bikini…

  231. Jim in Wisc.
    August 18th, 2013 at 9:47 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#205): Those things is “pre-war”??? Just how old is Crazy Harry?

  232. Carolina Boy
    August 18th, 2013 at 9:50 pm [Reply]

    Interesting tidbit: the Urban Dictionary pegs “wicked sick” to New England, with origins specifically in Boston. It goes so far as to suggest that anyone using the expression outside the region “will sound like an idiot.”

    You suppose Dagwood and Blondie are Bostonites?

  233. Carolina Boy
    August 18th, 2013 at 9:53 pm [Reply]

    Re: 232

    Whoops… I was looking at the entry for the more fully developed “wicked sick nasty.” Something COMPLETELY different! : )

  234. Mr. Yezpitelok
    August 18th, 2013 at 9:55 pm [Reply]

    @Dale (#184): Wrong. “it’s” is spelled i-t-’-s.

    That would depend on whether the word “it’s” is rendered in speech or in writing. If it’s the former, a contraction like “it’s” would have to include the
    word “apostrophe” (“i-t-apostrophe-s”).

  235. Artist formerly known as Ben
    August 18th, 2013 at 10:05 pm [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#216): All three of them: Joe Besser, the cartoon French waiter, and the stringy-haired methhead.

  236. Mr. Yezpitelok
    August 18th, 2013 at 10:10 pm [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#33): As far as the furshlugginer/fershlugginer debate goes,
    my preferred spelling is f-r-u-h-l-i-n-g-e-r.

  237. Calico
    August 18th, 2013 at 10:20 pm [Reply]

    MW – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WCqm4H3m3Ew
    Hotel customers…nsfw

  238. Amos Snarkadder
    August 18th, 2013 at 10:22 pm [Reply]

  239. Mr. Yezpitelok
    August 18th, 2013 at 10:25 pm [Reply]

    Ripley’s: An armadillo inflates its intestines to cross a river — an ability shared by Wren in “Baby Blues.”

  240. The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan
    August 18th, 2013 at 10:29 pm [Reply]

    @His Most Excellent Refulgency, Rev. Nehemiah Scudder (#227): Uh-huh. When was the last time you animated anything, bub? (And I’m not talking about your shorts. For once.)

  241. Huckleberry Fink
    August 18th, 2013 at 10:40 pm [Reply]

    @Mr. Yezpitelok (#239):

    There’s a difference. Wren’s unusual ability comes from her inflatable coccyx.

  242. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 18th, 2013 at 11:01 pm [Reply]

    @The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan (#240): Hey! I just got “The Book of Gimp”, Lecarme & Delvare, 2013, No Starch Press. I’m working my way through its 650 pages. Slowly.

  243. jim, some guy in iowa
    August 18th, 2013 at 11:11 pm [Reply]

    JP: hm. Thalia seems to have been ‘enhanced’ while we were away. I wonder if Manley even knows how to draw non-top-heavy women

  244. Huckleberry Fink
    August 18th, 2013 at 11:11 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers… like to break in the toilets at a new business.

  245. jim, some guy in iowa
    August 18th, 2013 at 11:15 pm [Reply]

    Rex, MD: I suspect Wilson has been shopping Rex and/or Judge Parker collections to publishers, getting nowhere, and so his ‘literary/artistic’ storylines are wish fulfillment…

    Phantom: sheesh, Ghost-who-dinks-around, you really think the old guy has the time to deal with your embryonic sense of humor?

  246. Huckleberry Fink
    August 18th, 2013 at 11:22 pm [Reply]

    Crankshaft: As a direct result of his Bell’s palsy, one side of Ed’s face droops more than the other.

  247. Droopy Says
    August 18th, 2013 at 11:29 pm [Reply]

    Spider and Spiderer: Don’t talk about ribbons, Mr. Fancy Headgear.

    Family Circus: You should always let someone else pick the food first, Billy. If it’s poisoned, they’ll find out first. Just a pro tip on how to remain the oldest sibling.

    Funky’s Flunkies: What in hell are either of these slobs nattering about? Oh, ha ha, the football team will never make it to the play offs, because he doesn’t know squat about coaching football?

    Jugs Parker: And, as the Achille Lauro steams toward her rendezvous with hijackers (optimistic, aren’t I?), we return to the ransom plot. Have the kidnappers started lopping off fingers yet?

    Phantom: Somewhere, Lee Falk Junior Intern #39 wipes the cold sweat from his face. He lives in dread of Monday mornings: will he come in to work and only to learn he’s been fired for having done nothing the past week? Once again he dodges that bullet, which is more than Phantom has done lately.

    Mark Trail: Sorry, Rusty, the pterodactyl is holding out for Raquel Welch.

    Pluggers: Anything new, whether it’s a store or a new, non-Classic Plugger panel, makes Pluggers incontinent.

  248. Poteet
    August 18th, 2013 at 11:40 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#161): @jim, some guy in iowa (#162): @Droopy Says (#167): Thank you all very much. I’m relieved (and yeah, I do need new glasses). I was afraid McE had created something along the lines of SATURN DEVOURING HIS SON, gaaaah.

  249. Poteet
    August 18th, 2013 at 11:42 pm [Reply]

    MT — Yay, here we go! I’m pretty sure I’m gonna like Rusty’s dream better than Rusty.

  250. Ben Wasabi
    August 18th, 2013 at 11:44 pm [Reply]

    Baby Blues: Wren and her inflatable coccyx are taking a well-deserved break.

    Beetle Bailey: Today’s comic has been brought to you by Fred Hampton’s Rainbow Coalition.

  251. Anonymous
    August 18th, 2013 at 11:55 pm [Reply]

    @Ben Wasabi (#250): You know what isn’t funny? Fred Hampton’s assassination by the FBI and Chicago Police!

  252. Huckleberry Fink
    August 19th, 2013 at 12:05 am [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#251):

    I don’t think Ben was making a joke about Fred Hampton. He was making a joke about the rainbow in today’s “Beetle Bailey.”

  253. seismic-2
    August 19th, 2013 at 12:16 am [Reply]

    JP: “Our assets are in Africa!” she says, while dropping the pillow to show us that they do in fact extend halfway there. Well played, Messrs. Wilson and Manley.

    MT: Rusty dreams he’s a pterodactyl. It’s a marked improvement.

  254. Mincy Pieface
    August 19th, 2013 at 12:22 am [Reply]

    @Huckleberry Fink (#252): At least Ben Wasabi didn’t make a lame joke about Beetle, Sarge and the LGBT rainbow flag. Low-hanging fruit and all that…

  255. Huckleberry Fink
    August 19th, 2013 at 12:30 am [Reply]

    Mark Trail: Rusty dreams that he’s the Caveman Ranger:

    http://i700.photobucket.com/albums/ww7/erichenry/tomahawk109.jpg

  256. Morgan Wick
    August 19th, 2013 at 1:28 am [Reply]

    Dagwood is so unhip he Googles teen lingo instead of using Urban Dictionary.

    Mary: “I’m not sure whether to be upset that this woman is meddling instead of me, or take her in as a protege.”

  257. bats :[
    August 19th, 2013 at 1:57 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#248): this is for you, Poteet, to restore your faith in feline kind

    (The little black kitten reminds me a lot of Gordo‘s terror, Bete Noire…)

  258. bats :[
    August 19th, 2013 at 2:02 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#249): I don’t know. There’s been so much poop and fart jokes recently in the comics, I could imagine an ongoing trend

  259. Der Schnärkïnätör mit Ümläütën!
    August 19th, 2013 at 2:26 am [Reply]

    MW – What a fucked up resort!

    That is all…

  260. Morgan Wick
    August 19th, 2013 at 2:33 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#56): Fun fact: from what I’ve heard, the reason why corn syrup is cheaper than sugar is because the US government heavily subsidizes corn to the point that more of it is produced than there would ever normally be a demand for, which is why, I gather, Mexico never made the switch. Naturally, this undercuts corn producers in other countries for the sake of a plant that sucks up a lot of water. As for why no one noticed at the time: I also read that apparently in taste tests, if you don’t know there’s a difference or you don’t know which is which, you don’t detect a difference or at least can’t determine reliably which is better.

  261. Mr O'Malley
    August 19th, 2013 at 3:47 am [Reply]

    @Morgan Wick (#260): Also there’s a very high import duty on sugar to keep the price high to protect American sugar growers. And also corn growers, because otherwise it might be cost-effective to import sugar-based ethanol from Brazil.

    Any industry that can switch to corn syrup has done so. There are some applications where you can’t substitute, like high-end baked goods (maybe not stuff like Twinkies), so producers have to pay the inflated price for sugar, which is of course passed on to the consumer.

    In countries like Mexico where corn is a basic staple food for much of the population, it would not be a good idea to divert corn production towards industrial applications.

  262. gleeb
    August 19th, 2013 at 5:41 am [Reply]

    ‘bean-Fat failure Funky and gamblin’ coach Bull are drawn to be identical. Most of the time there is no reason for this other than laziness. But today, it helps me imagine Bull complaining to his own soul, because no one else will listen anymore.

    Abbey’s Jug o’ Water-Oh yeah, the kidnapping grift. I thought that guy would have been dead by now.

    Pluggers-…just can’t stop pissing.

  263. Jimbo
    August 19th, 2013 at 6:17 am [Reply]

    The current Mark Trail storyline is one of the most interesting examples of ekphrasis in the comics I have ever seen. Rusty is at Slumber Mountain, dreaming of dinosaurs. This can be nothing less than an allusion to the 18-minute-long, stop-motion animated Willis O’Brien film, “The Ghost of Slumber Mountain,” made in 1919, which you can watch here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=H7sj4zCXMHs

    The plot is simple. A man goes to Slumber Mountain, falls asleep, and dreams of dinosaurs.

    “The Ghost of Slumber Mountain” represents a milestone in the history of movies because it was the first time live actors were paired with stop-motion dinosaurs. This is the movie that gave O’Brien some of the skills he would later use on movies like “The Lost World” and “King Kong.”

  264. CanuckDownSouth
    August 19th, 2013 at 6:51 am [Reply]

    MW: How the ‘sharing circle’ operation is psychologically unhelpful has been thoroughly explored with yesterday’s now-recapped strip, so I will only note that man, that’s a tiny ‘sharing circle’. There’s room for one person in it off the 1st panel, which appears to be the blonde in panel 2. The women we’ve seen commenting must have sneaked out in a fit of sanity.

    Luann: if anything, Evans is having Gunther regress (some bizarre girl-solves-guy’s problems teen fantasy being racheted up?). I’m sure there have been beach strips with G acting vaguely sane.

  265. Ben Wasabi
    August 19th, 2013 at 6:55 am [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#258): Like Mark Trail, Wren’s inflatable coccyx sets her apart.

    @Anonymous (#251): Methinks you scared off most of the regular commenters. Personally, I like to stick with safer topics — like Wren’s inflatable coccyx.

  266. Amos Snarkadder
    August 19th, 2013 at 7:21 am [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#257): Bwahah ewwww… Rusty’s all crusty!

  267. Hatlo Faction
    August 19th, 2013 at 8:30 am [Reply]

    MW Those avocado ads seem to be working. Avocado is the new black. Don’t back down, Aggie!

  268. Justin T.
    August 19th, 2013 at 9:37 am [Reply]

    “That’s a sweet, septic gash, Dad!” ~Blondie writers

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    I’m sorry — is everyone ignoring the aphorism by Luce, which goes against EVERYTHING MARY STANDS FOR? Does this mean both Time Magazine and the entire Italian consulate will turn against Mary?

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    “Review past interactions for possible causes” sounds like advice from a dickish fortune cookie.

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