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What’s next? Wine coolers?

Spider-Man, 8/22/13

“What, you’d rather have our fall gradually slowed by air pressure against a large parachute, when we could just have our arms violently wrenched out of their sockets when I latch onto a building with a single strand of webbing? You’ve been reading too many physics books, old buddy!”

Apartment 3-G, 8/22/13

Hey, remember Marty, Lu Ann’s socially awkward art student whose dad has PTSD and a brain tumor and is also destined to be Lu Ann’s doomed love interest? Well, she has a bad girl friend! You can tell she’s bad because she has a bizarre, asymmetrical haircut. What can you expect from a girl who asymmetrical hair? Tobacco cigarette use, that’s what you can expect!

Pluggers, 8/22/13

Pluggers’ bodies are so full of cholesterol and preservatives that sexual arousal is completely out of the question, really.

384 responses to “What’s next? Wine coolers?

  1. Casey, Crime Photographer
    August 22nd, 2013 at 7:27 am [Reply]

    Bizarro: Poor dummy. He’s been trying to make sense out of the plotlines
    in Brooke McEldowney’s “Nine Chickweed Lane” again.

  2. Cloudbuster
    August 22nd, 2013 at 7:30 am [Reply]

    A3G: OMG! Smoking! Smoking causes extinction! (TRMT will be doing that panel on Friday)

    9CL: Executions all around!

  3. Old Folkie
    August 22nd, 2013 at 7:31 am [Reply]

    9CL: We were ready to convict a long time ago.

    RMMD: Even June realizes this plot is ridiculous.

    MT: Bill Watterson would approve, I hope…

    A3G: The oldest-looking young people ever.

  4. Dennis Jimenez
    August 22nd, 2013 at 7:33 am [Reply]

    S-M – Aren’t these guys a mite skinny for Lucha libre….

    A3G – Ow- She’s giving her the cigarette – in NYC that means fuck you with a dlido….

    Pluggers – I find Tombstone to be the most sensual of all the frozen pizzas – also very appropriately named….

    Adios Amigos, DJ.

  5. debussy fields
    August 22nd, 2013 at 7:35 am [Reply]

    MW– And the guy in blue says, “Fuck this. I’m outta here!”

  6. Casey, Crime Photographer
    August 22nd, 2013 at 7:35 am [Reply]

    Pluggers: Bow Chicka Bow Wow Wow!

    Apt. 3-G: “Girl”?! Nick O’Teen looks at least 40.

  7. Digger
    August 22nd, 2013 at 7:35 am [Reply]

    Mrs. Chicken Plugger is looking at Tramp-Plugger and thinking “She’s not that good-looking. In fact, she’s a dog.” Hey-o!

  8. Chareth Cutestory
    August 22nd, 2013 at 7:36 am [Reply]

    A3G: No thanks, I don’t smoke. I use e-cigs like all the COOL art students.

    Pluggers: Know what makes anyone drool? …Savory food.

  9. debussy fields
    August 22nd, 2013 at 7:36 am [Reply]

    MT– This plot is putting me to sleep, too, Rusty. Only in my dream, the dinosaurs have the faces of Mary Worth and Aggie coming at each other with sharp teeth and open jaws.

  10. Shran
    August 22nd, 2013 at 7:37 am [Reply]

    ASM” “We’re falling!” Well, no shit! Mark today’s date, ladies and gentlemen. Newspaper Spiderman has actually put an absolutely dimwitted line of dialogue in the mouth of someone OTHER than our main “hero.”

  11. Ratiocinator
    August 22nd, 2013 at 7:38 am [Reply]

    ASM: The crazy thing is that I know Spidey’s done exactly that–webbed up a parachute in mid-air–in the comics, and as difficult to believe as that was at the time, the overall story was still way better than what we typically get from this strip.

    Actually, I find the idea that these two were able to jump out of their helicopter even as it was plummeting to the ground and twisting end over end to be at least as unbelievable as a web parachute would’ve been.

    I almost brought up how Spidey was saying there were no tall buildings around before, but I guess that can be handwaved away by saying they flew a fair distance before this.

    FW: Tom, you actually put an adequate joke in the strip yesterday. Then, lest anybody get the wrong idea and think you were still good at this, you used today’s strip to tell the exact same basic joke. I know, I know, “It’s called ‘writing’.” Just don’t expect anybody to call it good writing.

    9CL: Why the hell does it matter to the outcome of this trial whether they buried Edda’s dress or not?! What the shit is this?!!

  12. Lumaca Morente
    August 22nd, 2013 at 7:39 am [Reply]

    Curtis: It must be really hot, if Curtis took off his sweater.
    Pibgorn: girl needs a good support bra. They are hanging kind of low for a 13-year old.
    MW: Mary doesn’t realize the building is on fire. Look at them booking it out the exit behind her.

  13. Lumaca Morente
    August 22nd, 2013 at 7:40 am [Reply]

    @Ratiocinator (#11): Your question: “What the shit is this?!!”. The answer: It’s 9CL. Duh.

  14. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 22nd, 2013 at 7:41 am [Reply]

    Questionable Content: Great Zeus forgive me! What have I started! Jauntily bouncing… no, no, the horror! The horror!

    // So, Rt. Ven., do you still think animation is so cool?

  15. Liam
    August 22nd, 2013 at 7:41 am [Reply]

    FC-Well, Billy, I spent a few years hiking through Europe. Europe was a lot more dangerous back then. I had to carry a gun with me at all times and I was constantly being shot at.

    Spiderman-Expect heavy delays in your commute this morning as two helicopter crashes have back traffic up for miles. It’s 7:20 in the a.m. and here’s the Rascals with ‘Groovin’.

    Spiderman 2-And did the guys in the other helicopter have parachutes too? And what about the people on the ground when those two helicopters hit? And they say superheroes have a no killing rule.

    A3G-Smoking in Bloomberg’s New York? You are a trouble maker, Toni.

    FW-And I’m tired of finding sex tapes of you with the other team. Can’t you ladies fuck your own team for once?

    Gil Thorp-And five minutes later he drops dead of a heart attack.

    JP-Yeah we all know that the U.N. is broke and can’t do anything but how are they for money.

    Love Is-He found her clit.

    MT-Which one is supposed to be Rusty and which one is supposed to be Mark. We all know what the dream is really about. Rusty is dreaming of killing Mark.

    MW-”Let me give you advice on giving advice. How busy are you for the next few months? I’m going to need to spend a lot of time with you so I’ll have to move with you.”

  16. Flonatin of Bologna
    August 22nd, 2013 at 7:42 am [Reply]

    A3G: You mean there’s no toupee there, Josh?

    Garfield: We’re about to get seven more years of Garfield.

    Ziggy: Or what, Ziggy?

    JP: Where’s Ted Turner when you really need him?

  17. Mibbitmaker
    August 22nd, 2013 at 7:43 am [Reply]

    S-M: Because… you see… comic books…. that’s just silly…. ’cause…. see, he’s a… comic book… character…. ha, ha…. uh….. but, you know, this solution…. NOT comic… book…. or anything, because….. ha….. ha…..

    A3G: Tori is ACTUALLY the old propaganda cartoon character known as Lung Cancer Lucy, the villain in anti-smoking cartoons. Editorial cartoonists could always use her if the many Joe Camel parodies got tired. A relative of Mr. Coffee Nerves, I hear….

    Pluggers: Penny Lee McGee (really?!): “Huh-huh-huh-huh, ‘cuz fat, huh-huh-huh-huh-huh…..”

  18. Mr. Yezpitelok
    August 22nd, 2013 at 7:44 am [Reply]

    @Casey, Crime Photographer (#1): After trying to follow the multiple plotlines
    in “Judge Parker,” even Danny Dummy’s termites are comatose.

  19. Pozzo
    August 22nd, 2013 at 7:45 am [Reply]

    ASM: “A pair of shoes? Why would you want a pair of shoes?” “No, no — parachaute! Para…” [SPLAT]

  20. John C Fremont
    August 22nd, 2013 at 7:45 am [Reply]

    @Calico (#y333): I hadn’t heard until now. That is sad. Very sad. Still, she lived a hell of a life.

    @Mr O’Malley (#y366): Hey, you stole my line!

    Oh, to live on Slumber Mountain,
    With the otters and the colorful loons,
    And sometimes dinosaurs on Slumber Mountain,
    That T Rex will be eating Rusty real soon.
    He’ll eat him real soon.

  21. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    August 22nd, 2013 at 7:47 am [Reply]

    RMMD – Well, they gave us two days and then yanked the rug out from under the “this is just going to pay off in museum scrip” story they seemed to be setting up. Looks like a standard comic strip book deal, where huge sums are thrown at unknown authors with little attempt at negotiation. Pity for the museum, as I imagine they could get four books worth of kid’s drawings for a lot less than $24,000. For example, I have a fridge door full of them I could sell for as little as $8K. For another $1,000, I’ll have my cat make a few extra for the back cover.

    Museum Lady here is becoming increasingly annoying with her breezy assurance that a local museum will easily sell, “at a minimum”, 80,000 collections of drawings made by a small child, through the museum gift shop and “their” primary schools. So self assured that she is willing to ignore her instructions to hold a contest – which would create more publicity – and will just hand the whole contract to the first child to pick up a crayola. Plus, the overly enthusiastic smiles with the solid wall of teeth – the opposite of the McE method with the realistic individual molars, but only marginally less creepy.

  22. bbofun
    August 22nd, 2013 at 7:49 am [Reply]

    RMMD- “In the right place, at the right time”=”In a Woody Wilson strip, on alternate Thursdays.”

  23. remmy
    August 22nd, 2013 at 7:51 am [Reply]

    9CL: What the holy hell fuck is going on here? Seriously, it is a tired cliche around these parts, but Brooke? Please fucking retire. You are bat shit crazy.

  24. revenge4Aldo
    August 22nd, 2013 at 7:52 am [Reply]

    RMMD: The Morgans only concerns are the tax implications.
    FC: “Jimmy Carter”
    MW: You know what they say “The best meddles of mice and men…gang aft a-gley”
    Pickles: Will one of them picture the grandson as Jeffy tomorrow?
    9CL: It’s got to be a dream sequence, right?

  25. Mibbitmaker
    August 22nd, 2013 at 7:54 am [Reply]

    @Liam (#15): re: MW(continued): “…um, you don’t happen to have the habit of getting drunk and breaking little swan statues, do you? ….Why swans? Oh, nevermind, it’s not important….”

  26. Marc
    August 22nd, 2013 at 7:58 am [Reply]

    Funky- By looking at those cheerleaders, I’m guessing that Batiuk just reused art from the 70′s. I don know the last time I saw a cheerleader with an Afro or two sideways pony tails.

  27. LaziestManOnMars
    August 22nd, 2013 at 7:58 am [Reply]

    Dog-Man settled for marrying Chicken-Woman, but he’s always regretted not hooking up with a Dog-Woman. Quite frankly, he’s tried of cloaca!

  28. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 22nd, 2013 at 8:00 am [Reply]

    SF: So now Sally Forth is “yanking off” Pluto. I think the comics has hit rock bottom.

    Adam@Home: The Sharknado meme has taken off faster than any I can remember.

  29. Mibbitmaker
    August 22nd, 2013 at 8:06 am [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#21):

    will just hand the whole contract to the first child to pick up a crayola

    Crayola payola.

  30. cheech wizard
    August 22nd, 2013 at 8:08 am [Reply]

    Pluggers – Shouldn’s sexy dog lady have, like, eight boobs?

  31. Mr. Yezpitelok
    August 22nd, 2013 at 8:10 am [Reply]

    @Liam (#15): [Love is...] He found her clit.

    “Make my day!” demanded Clit Eastwood.

    (Having sex with a bossy woman isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be!)

  32. The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan
    August 22nd, 2013 at 8:11 am [Reply]

    Pluggers: [Checks HDL levels, pants] Yeah, pretty much.

  33. Voshkod
    August 22nd, 2013 at 8:12 am [Reply]

    “All we need is one tall building . . . uh, Tarantula, where are the tall buildings?”

    “We’re a stereotypically impoverished Latin American country, Spiderman. Didn’t you read the travel guide? And before you ask, the hospital care ain’t that great, either.”

  34. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 22nd, 2013 at 8:16 am [Reply]

    Jesus & Mo: ‘Bout time she cut those two off.

  35. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    August 22nd, 2013 at 8:17 am [Reply]

    FW – Tomorrow’s strips …. today!

    Friday – Bull begs the Westview fans – please stop cheering for the other team and waving signs for their players. Plenty of time for that next year when they are at Kent State.

    Saturday – Bull begs the waterboy – please stop blowing the visiting team through the gloryhole in their locker room. I’ll have maintenance drill one into the home locker room – but you have to promise to use it!

    Sunday – Glum avatar of Bull in the throwaway panels. The strip shows Bull attempting to conduct practice, noticing that the players aren’t playing attention, then discovering that they have a laptop and are watching youtube videos of the other team’s season highlights.

    Monday – New Head Coach Gil Thorp is brought in, especially valued for his experience at coaching teams that miss the playdowns every year, which makes him a perfect fit for Westview. Bull takes a job at Montoni’s “reconditioning” the uneaten slices people leave behind so that the pepperoni, cheese, and crust can be “repurposed” onto other pizzas.

  36. The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan
    August 22nd, 2013 at 8:18 am [Reply]

    Apt. 3-G: Aw, she smoked the ricin cigarette. Too bad, so sad.

  37. Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist
    August 22nd, 2013 at 8:18 am [Reply]

    SM: Actually, what they’re going to get is their heads cracked open from slamming into the side of the building. And good thing too.

    (This trope – swinging from vines, cables etc – always annoys the hell out of me. George of the Jungle is about the only instance I can think of which depicted what would actually happen to someone who tried it.)

    9 CL : Please sentence everyone involved to death and execute them. I’ll not just lift my opposition to the death penalty, I’ll even cheer.

    A3G: “Ha ha, did you imagine I’d actually offer you one of my valuable cigarettes? Look how high I’m holding them, well out of your reach, shorty.”

  38. Illustrator Steve
    August 22nd, 2013 at 8:19 am [Reply]

    @debussy fields (#9):

    You have my vote for COTW! :-)

  39. Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist
    August 22nd, 2013 at 8:21 am [Reply]

    What next, Rev Scudder? Buttockonado? Oh wait, we already have that going on here. Happy jaunty bouncing!

  40. TheDiva
    August 22nd, 2013 at 8:22 am [Reply]

    A3G: Hey, they’re both clearly in their mid-30s, if she wants to smoke that’s her business.
    (On another note: wow, the side-ponytail, that takes me back. Those things were tacky even when they were fashionable.)

    Pluggers are so empty that their only joy in life is bad processed food.

    SM: Didn’t Gwen Stacy’s death avert the whole “you won’t die by falling as long as you stop yourself before you hit the ground” trope? You’d think Spider-Man of all people would know better on this one…

  41. Here come the Judge
    August 22nd, 2013 at 8:22 am [Reply]

    Is Pluggers trying to siphon off some of the Judge Parker readership? Doesn’t seem like a winning proposition- I’m guessing that the segment of the population that enjoys ogling stacked women far outweighs the segment that enjoys ogling stacked anthropomorphic animals.

  42. The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan
    August 22nd, 2013 at 8:23 am [Reply]

    Mark Trail: An awful lot of comics panels would be improved by the addition of that T-Rex. I’m just saying. (Though in the case of Mary Worth, it seems like it would be more of a lateral move. Two little meddlers will fight it out until one little meddler does the other one’s will.)

  43. Anonymous
    August 22nd, 2013 at 8:23 am [Reply]

    Mark trail prehistoric squee (for queek): http://pinterest.com/pin/262475484506226088/

  44. Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist
    August 22nd, 2013 at 8:27 am [Reply]

    43. Anonymous

    Ha! Extinctulations!

  45. Anonymous
    August 22nd, 2013 at 8:30 am [Reply]

    This called for a quick-n-dirty Mark Trail/Spiderman mashup: http://pinterest.com/pin/262475484506226116/

  46. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    August 22nd, 2013 at 8:32 am [Reply]

    SBp: /fail at concept. There’s several strips today that all inspire me to yell “X doesn’t work that way!!” and this was one of them. AD was perhaps the worst.

    JUMBLE: where most of the coffee mugs from Frazz ended up?

    Mutts: *fliptake* ok, that was funny, and quite random.

    Pluggers: Oh. Em. Gee. /facepalm.

    6Cx: advice far to late for FAAAAAR too many people.

    rMC: YAY! Jeff’s son as Masky McDeath arc! *wiggles in glee*

  47. The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan
    August 22nd, 2013 at 8:32 am [Reply]

    Crock: Ha ha, joke’s on you. I only pay attention to mock you, as now.

  48. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    August 22nd, 2013 at 8:33 am [Reply]

    MT: That’s a nice, Rusty-sized space in the jaws of that foregroundosaurus there.

    MW: “Advice is not always received in the way it was intended. And so you need to shove that advice in there real good, jamming it in repeatedly until the victi—I mean, recipient can only nod frantically in consent.”

  49. Matt Beardface
    August 22nd, 2013 at 8:33 am [Reply]

    I assume I’m not the only one who immediately went to Google images and typed “Spider-man parachute” to see the hundreds of images where he was able to do it just fine; many of them written by Stan Lee (supposed author of the newspaper strip), no less.

  50. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    August 22nd, 2013 at 8:34 am [Reply]

    Love Is. . . .G-spots and prostate massages.

  51. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    August 22nd, 2013 at 8:34 am [Reply]

    Frazz: I’m ordinarily not a fan of this strip, but I did like the way the story ended up today.

  52. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    August 22nd, 2013 at 8:36 am [Reply]

    “You can say what you like to Debussy
    But there’s not much of him left to hear.

    Claude Achille Debussy, died, 1918″

    as commemorated on today’s Google doodle.

  53. TheDiva
    August 22nd, 2013 at 8:37 am [Reply]

    9CL: Death by Dutch Tilt!

    C’shaft: “Look Dad, it’s nothing personal, it’s just that after a lifetime of being exposed to your violent hatred of every living thing I’ve kind of built up a tolerance to it…”

    FW: So that’s Bull’s big plan, huh? “If we act like we don’t suck, maybe we won’t suck”? Come on, Bull, nobody takes The Secret seriously anymore.

    Luann: Hey, anybody miss Cathy? Me neither.

    MT: Someone spent too much time watching the “Rite of Spring” segment of Fantasia, I see…

    MW: “Well, there’s your problem; only I’m allowed to do that.”

    Pibgorn: You’d think someone who spends as much time drawing the female form as Brooke does would remember where the breasts are. (On another note, wasn’t the flapper look the “radical youth” trend of its day? Lady C. looks a bit too conservative to be foisting something so daring on her daughter…)

  54. The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan
    August 22nd, 2013 at 8:37 am [Reply]

    The Family Circus: “Well, Billy, back in the day I was what’s known as a worthless alcoholic.” “And after that?” “Pass me that bottle, will you? NO, NOT THAT ONE, GODDAMMIT. Yes, that’s it. Now, where was I?”

  55. Illustrator Steve
    August 22nd, 2013 at 8:39 am [Reply]

    MT – I’d say the odds in favor of the T-rex taking the Tricerotops fishing with him are much greater than the odds of Mark still being anywhere near Rododendron Lake when Rusty wakes up. For all we know Mark will still be off looking for poacher traps somewhere between Hootin Holler and 9 Chickweed Lane, Or he may still be shacked up with Opal Pickles in the corner booth of some all you can eat pancake breakfast place!

  56. Gerry
    August 22nd, 2013 at 8:39 am [Reply]

    A3G: These crazy rebellious “teenagers” with their shirts buttoned right up to their collarbones! No wonder the world’s going to heck!

  57. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    August 22nd, 2013 at 8:40 am [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#40):

    (On another note: wow, the side-ponytail, that takes me back. Those things were tacky even when they were fashionable.)

    But any hairstyle featured in Napoleon Dynamite must be the height of sophistication.

  58. Illustrator Steve
    August 22nd, 2013 at 8:42 am [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#43):

    Aww, poor little Stego! :-(

  59. Maltmasher
    August 22nd, 2013 at 8:43 am [Reply]

    pluggers- This seems to be the same couple from yesterday. Between sitting on the couch catatonically watching NCIS and chowing down on crummy frozen pizza, the caption should read “Plugger’s triple bypass is scheduled for Monday morning.”

  60. Walker of Dog
    August 22nd, 2013 at 8:46 am [Reply]

    JP: That teary third panel is tailor-made for the next UNESCO fund drive.

    GT: Round 2: Enter the robots

    MT: Suggestion box: Could the narration appear to be spoken by a passing giant dragonfly?

    MW: Mary remembers the time someone tried to give her advice. She did not receive it as intended. We know this because the advice was “I think you should not stab me”.

    Plug: Apparently once you go poultry, you never go back.

    FC: “I designed incredibly difficult crossword puzzles. Like the one on my pants.”

  61. Marc
    August 22nd, 2013 at 8:47 am [Reply]

    A3G- Simultaneously running story lines currently taking place in this strip: None of which will probably get a resolution.
    -Lu Ann and the pervy governor
    -The pervy governor and the dress lady Zoey
    -Lu Ann and PTSD and brain tumor ridden Cole
    -Lu Ann and Marty the constantly age changing art student
    -Marty and her friend the smoker
    -Marty and her father
    -Oh yeah, and Tonmie’s been in Italy for like 6 months.

    Am I missing any?

  62. flatsixes
    August 22nd, 2013 at 8:48 am [Reply]

    MT: I can hardly wait to find out what Rusty’s dreaming of tomorrow. A brontosaurus? A stegosaurus? Cherry in a loincloth? The mind boggles.

  63. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    August 22nd, 2013 at 8:48 am [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#53): Pibgorn: You’d think someone who spends as much time drawing the female form as Brooke does would remember where the breasts are.

    Yes, but breasts are lumped in with faces and butts as things Brooke really isn’t interested in. But, check out those legs!

    If it makes it less creepy, keep reminding yourself that this 13YO girl is being portrayed by an adult sex robot, so you are allowed to gawk! If it makes it more creepy, then you probably shouldn’t be reading Pibgorn, although there are many better reasons available to reach that conclusion.

  64. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 22nd, 2013 at 8:48 am [Reply]

    @Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist (#39): Happy jaunty bouncing to you! As a matter of fact, I’m working on a treatment, in rhymed dactylic pentameter, of an epic poem I call Buttockicane! Naturally, I’m open to negotiating stage, film, and breakfast cereal rights.

  65. Dennis Jimenez
    August 22nd, 2013 at 8:51 am [Reply]

    @Maltmasher (#59): As a Plugger – I take offense at that NCIS crack. I rotate my viewing between Duck Dynasty, Storage Wars, and Pawn Stars….

  66. Lumaca Morente
    August 22nd, 2013 at 8:52 am [Reply]

    @Dennis Jimenez (#65): “I take offense at that NCIS crack.” – and Buttnado continues.

  67. Lumaca Morente
    August 22nd, 2013 at 8:53 am [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#58): Big, big props to TRMT for that adorable stego.

  68. Amos Snarkadder DBA Curmudgeon Farm
    August 22nd, 2013 at 8:53 am [Reply]

  69. Nehemiah Scudder, NSA Contractor
    August 22nd, 2013 at 8:53 am [Reply]

    @Matt Beardface (#49): I assume I’m not the only one who immediately went to Google images and typed “Spider-man parachute”

    Well, as a matter of fact — let me check the data again — yes, yes, you are the ONLY one. That is so special.

  70. Illustrator Steve
    August 22nd, 2013 at 8:56 am [Reply]

    MT – COOL! The blackened burnt out lower elevation landscape in the foreground of today’s panel #2 looks exactly like a silhouette of Rusty Trail laying flat on his back passed out dead to the world after a long night of eating primeval mushrooms growing out of a fossilized pterodactyl patty.

    // Damn it, the art is getting so good along with a story that’s apparently going to eventually lead to something interesting is just making it harder and harder to think up some good snarks for this strip.
    Maybe it’s time I concentrate more on the Apt 3G, Mary Worth and 9 Chickweed Lane strips!

  71. Illustrator Steve
    August 22nd, 2013 at 8:58 am [Reply]

    @flatsixes (#62):

    My vote would be for the Cherry in a loin cloth one you mentioned, or maybe not even a loin cloth … after all, it was all about nature back then!

  72. Cloudbuster
    August 22nd, 2013 at 9:01 am [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#53): @Lumaca Morente (#12): The problem here is that Brooke has drawn a cleavage line on a girl who would have no such thing, while drawing her breasts as small as would be expected, thus giving the illusion that they are some really low-hanging flapjacks.

  73. Illustrator Steve
    August 22nd, 2013 at 9:02 am [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#67):

    He’s a cutie, that little-wittle Stego! I’d want to take him home wit me if I were Rusty Trail! Andy and Sassy could play with him. Only problem is, Doc would probably dissect him to see what makes him tick!

  74. Amos Snarkadder DBA Curmudgeon Farm
    August 22nd, 2013 at 9:07 am [Reply]

    @Marc (#61): Margo, Margo, Margo!

  75. Northernlurker
    August 22nd, 2013 at 9:08 am [Reply]

    MW: it’s been an exciting stay at the spa for Mary. Let’s see what she’s been up to:
    Arrived, went for a walk, went to yoga class, meddle with grieving widow, remembered what’s his name, regrieved, went for a swim, stretched, attended sharing circle.
    What exciting thing is on her agenda for the second day.
    MW: maybe Aggie’s friend decided she prefers hanging out with people of an identifiable gender
    MT: Funny, the beauty of nature has never had me contemplating dinosaurs and prehistory. Maybe I’m odd.

  76. Amos Snarkadder
    August 22nd, 2013 at 9:09 am [Reply]

    <b<MW Poor Shannon. Today the feint, but tomorrow Mary delivers the death blow!

    GT Oh, my!

  77. Amos Snarkadder
    August 22nd, 2013 at 9:10 am [Reply]

  78. geogreg
    August 22nd, 2013 at 9:10 am [Reply]

    FC: I am still creeped out by Live Grandpa’s constant wan smile. Can he speak? Maybe he can, but he knows that if he said what he was really thinking about those kids, he would be cast out of the house.

    @Walker of Dog (#60):

    MT: Well, that’s a ceratopsian (not a Stegosaurus) and probably a T. rex, so we’re in the late Cretaceous period. Giant dragonflies went extinct at the end of the Permian, I think. The question is, are Rusty’s dreams constrained to depict appropriate faunal assemblages?

  79. Amos Snarkadder
    August 22nd, 2013 at 9:12 am [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#35):

    FW – Tomorrow’s strips …. today!

    Now, can you please repeat that for Crankshaft? It should be just as easy.

  80. Mibbitmaker
    August 22nd, 2013 at 9:13 am [Reply]

    H&L: No wonder Lois is so shocked! This situation cries out for a child psychologist. A particularly Fruedian one.

    Phantom: Aw, why can’t Mary Worth quote an old jungle saying for once?

    RMMD: Woody Wilson largess knows no age.

    6C: With just a few changes, this could be an editorial cartoon about Bush, Obama, and the national debt.

    ZtP:
    It may be a bad sign if the guy who needs to know a woman better is the one that WRITES HER. Meanwhile, Zerbina in now creepy as hell!

    Luann:
    Pool party? Muumuu? Oh goody, now I have visions of Zippy the pinhead at Charterstone!

    9CL: Now there’s the Thorax we all know and loathe.
    Though, in this case, ending this stupidity with a non-moronic verdict will be much appreciated.

  81. Randy
    August 22nd, 2013 at 9:14 am [Reply]

    Marty looks like she’s just a slightly older version of Marcie from Peanuts. Does she call Lu Ann “Sir?”

  82. jim, some guy in iowa
    August 22nd, 2013 at 9:15 am [Reply]

    Arlo and Janis: I wonder if someone’s been reading Mark Trail

  83. Mibbitmaker
    August 22nd, 2013 at 9:17 am [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#80): That is, Freudian.

  84. Fish
    August 22nd, 2013 at 9:20 am [Reply]

    I feel sick…the chicken Plugger thing is staring inscrutably at the dog Plugger thing’s groin…

  85. The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan
    August 22nd, 2013 at 9:20 am [Reply]

    @Marc (#61): Well, you can scratch that last one off your list. Nobody cares about Tommie. Nobody.

  86. TheDiva
    August 22nd, 2013 at 9:28 am [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#72): I admit I was curious to see how McEldowney would draw women of the Jazz Age, who favored a straight “boyish” silhouette quite different from the curvy pinup girls he revels in. The answer, as I probably should have anticipated, is not very well at all.

  87. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    August 22nd, 2013 at 9:28 am [Reply]

    @Amos Snarkadder (#79): can you please repeat that for Crankshaft? It should be just as easy

    Friday – Crank practices his scowl on the cat. Cat wanders off and pees on his laundry.

    Saturday – Crank scowls at his neighbor, neighbor shrugs and completes her privacy fence.

    Sunday – Sepia-toned flashback to Crank as a young man, scowling at 1950s era children as they board the school bus, who are appropriately terrified. Crank is so busy scowling he fails to pay attention to the road and ends up flipping the bus, with much loss of life and limb. Punchline: “I shouldn’t have told him to turn that frown upside-down!”

    Monday – Backs over a mailbox, scowls at Keesterman, Keesterman flees into his house. The scowl is back, baby!

    Tuesday – Centerville students are traumatized by the force of Crank’s scowl. A student wants to ask if Crank can wait so she can run inside and get her medication, but is too intimidated. Suffers a seizure on the bus while her fellow students watch, too scared to tell the bus driver.

  88. jim, some guy in iowa
    August 22nd, 2013 at 9:34 am [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#53): oh, I dunno. Mc E looks pretty conservative, too, and look what *he* foists onto the reader

  89. The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan
    August 22nd, 2013 at 9:36 am [Reply]

    Alley Oop: As “interesting” as this story is, the actual story of the genesis of Frankenstein is even more interesting, maybe. It goes like this: way back in 1797, William Wordsworth and Samuel Taylor Coleridge went on a “walking tour.” In order to pay for the expenses of said tour (presumably beer and a hotel room and beer), they hit upon the idea of writing a ballad together.

    Eventually, that ballad morphed into Coleridge’s Rime of the Ancient Mariner, a profound meditation on the death of God. Mary Shelley heard Coleridge recite the poem at her parent’s house while she hid behind the couch. Years later, she picked up on the Ancient Mariner’s theological themes and expanded it into her novel Frankenstein: Or, The Modern Prometheus, which namechecks the Rime more than once, and the subtitle of which is often forgotten. She didn’t owe Byron or her husband squat for the idea.

  90. The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan
    August 22nd, 2013 at 9:36 am [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#83): I think you mean Froodian?

  91. Meddle Head
    August 22nd, 2013 at 9:43 am [Reply]

    9CL: Is this a fake trial to fool the dumb farmers? State and Main did it better.

  92. Jim in Wisc.
    August 22nd, 2013 at 9:43 am [Reply]

    Apple Mary: And now the One True Master steps up to instruct Shannon in the ancient art of meddling. “Snatch the pebble from my hand, grasshopper,” says Ms. Worth.

    Blandie: Looks like Young & Marshall hacked into the AJGLU3K.

    Crappy Depressingbean: I don’t know which is worse, Batiuk’s ham-fisted attempts at dealing with serious issues or his lame “jokes.”

    Sexy Rexy: “She’s not even six years old and she’s making money!” And before you know it, June, people will be giving her gifts like $15,000 fishing boats and $25,000 checks.

  93. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    August 22nd, 2013 at 9:44 am [Reply]

  94. Écureuil Écumant
    August 22nd, 2013 at 9:44 am [Reply]

    @Ratiocinator (#11): “I guess that can be handwaved away by saying they flew a fair distance before this”

    If this were BG&SS — or Slylock — we could say they flew a fur piece.

  95. Shrug and All That Jazz
    August 22nd, 2013 at 9:46 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#y342):

    “To paraphrase another public radio legend, in the end, the death of an old woman is not a tragedy.”

    Camus (under his pseudonym of “Dorothy Sayers”) notably said that “short of damnation, it seems there can be no Christian tragedy.” By analog, I’d say “short of having your work re-released as elevator music or “sampled” by vinyl-scratching turntablists, there can be no admirable-long-lived-jazz-artiste tragedy.”

    ////But “Dorothy” Camus would have said it better.

  96. Dan
    August 22nd, 2013 at 9:48 am [Reply]

    “You’ve been reading too many comic books, old buddy! Newspaper comics are the wave of the future! This money train is never rollin’ off the tracks!”

  97. Mr. Yezpitelok
    August 22nd, 2013 at 9:50 am [Reply]

    @The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan (#90): In Jughead’s case it’s Foodian.

  98. Jim in Wisc.
    August 22nd, 2013 at 9:51 am [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#35):

    Bull takes a job at Montoni’s “reconditioning” the uneaten slices people leave behind so that the pepperoni, cheese, and crust can be “repurposed” onto other pizzas.

    I wouldn’t be surprised if that cheap slob Funky did something like that.

  99. Tom D.
    August 22nd, 2013 at 9:56 am [Reply]

    ASM: As Spiderman and the other guy latch on to a building, two helicopters plummet into a crowded urban area.

  100. Écureuil Écumant
    August 22nd, 2013 at 9:57 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#14): I’d have to classify those as more “frenetic” than “jaunty”.

  101. Shrug as a Bug, Like That Lug
    August 22nd, 2013 at 9:57 am [Reply]

    @Ratiocinator (#11):

    “Actually, I find the idea that these two were able to jump out of their helicopter even as it was plummeting to the ground and twisting end over end to be at least as unbelievable as a web parachute would’ve been.”

    I think MYTHBUSTERS needs to create a special comic-strip-specific spinoff show.

    ////Hell, they could do a whole season on SPIDER-MAN alone.

    /////”They don’t just laugh their heads off at the TELLING of the myths — they put them to the test, and then laugh their heads off at the artwork too!”

  102. Mr. Yezpitelok
    August 22nd, 2013 at 9:57 am [Reply]

    Hi & Lois: Dot caught Ditto playing with Li’l Ditto again.

  103. AhClem
    August 22nd, 2013 at 9:59 am [Reply]

    MT – Congratulations, Mr. Elrod. You have completed the Famous Artist’s School course, “Drawing Dinosaurs 101.” For the final exam, you must demonstrate your dinosaur drawing skills by drawing a week’s worth of strips depicting cool dinosaurs. Rusty? He’s a bit too hideous to be considered a dinosaur, but we’ll allow it just this once.

    SM – Let’s shoot a fine, lightweight web strand to a precise point on a building a quarter mile away, compensating perfectly for wind and air currents. Then we can swing down the height of the building, which is less than a quarter mile high, but miraculously we won’t hit the ground, because … AAAH! (*head explodes*)

  104. Dennis Jimenez
    August 22nd, 2013 at 9:59 am [Reply]

    @Jim in Wisc. (#98): A Plugger repurposes his uneaten frozen pizza by putting it in his shoe to fix the hole in the sole….

  105. Dennis Jimenez
    August 22nd, 2013 at 10:01 am [Reply]

    @Mr. Yezpitelok (#102): Oh sunbeam – why don’t I have a dingus to diddle with….

  106. Francis Hobbs
    August 22nd, 2013 at 10:05 am [Reply]

    Grin & Bear It: The dummy in today’s “Bizarro” must’ve read a copy of Senator Snort’s speech.

  107. Jim in Wisc.
    August 22nd, 2013 at 10:05 am [Reply]

    @Dennis Jimenez (#104): Snerk!

    BTW, what kind of bizarre universe is Pluggers set in that a dog is married to a chicken and he hasn’t killed and consumed her?

  108. Écureuil Écumant
    August 22nd, 2013 at 10:07 am [Reply]

    @geogreg (#78): “The question is, are Rusty’s dreams constrained to depict appropriate faunal assemblages?”

    In the case of fur-bikini-covered faunal assemblages, most likely not.

  109. Nehemiah Scudder, NSA Contractor
    August 22nd, 2013 at 10:07 am [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#80): …now I have visions of Zippy the pinhead at Charterstone!

    You know, I’m pretty sure I did that already. Back in the John Dill cake decoration story. Let me check.

  110. Liam
    August 22nd, 2013 at 10:08 am [Reply]

    FC-Porn.

  111. comcis fan
    August 22nd, 2013 at 10:14 am [Reply]

    A Plugger always prefers a frozen entree to a tasty dish.

  112. Mr. Yezpitelok
    August 22nd, 2013 at 10:17 am [Reply]

    Luann: Muumuu? If you ask me, Bernice is more the “Moomoo” type.

  113. Écureuil Écumant
    August 22nd, 2013 at 10:18 am [Reply]

    9CL: I dunno about Count Paris, but Lord Marco o’ LoFo would surely have a hankerin’ for those pancakes.

  114. comcis fan
    August 22nd, 2013 at 10:19 am [Reply]

    FW: The cheerleaders realize there may be no escaping the despair that is Westview and its wimpy, dreary males — even the guys on the football team.

  115. Commissioner Jim Gordon, GCPD
    August 22nd, 2013 at 10:21 am [Reply]

    Agg ravating Spider-Mope: I’m indebted to Calvin’s Cardboard Box for yesterday’s insight that ASM is a strip written for children by children, or at least adults with a child’s understanding of physics and engineering. This spares me from having to roll my eyes and gnash my teeth over the fact Spider-Mope and Tarantino weren’t crushed like grapes when their two-seater rammed the larger gunship. (Either that or killed by blunt force trauma) Or their ability to escape the managled fuselage of their craft unscathed and jump clear, somehow putting a hundred yards between themselves and the plummeting wreckage. Or the fact the crews of the two downed gunships will almost certainly die, along with the scores of peasants incinerated when the exploding fuel tanks ignite their shantytowns. (And we’re supposed to treat these buffoons as heroes?)

    Apt. 2-D has no such excuses. In the inept hands of Bolle and Shulock this strip has now officially descended to the level of self-parody.

  116. Mr. Yezpitelok
    August 22nd, 2013 at 10:22 am [Reply]

    @Dennis Jimenez (#105): Chip refers to his as “Dirty Dingus Magee”!

  117. Sequitur
    August 22nd, 2013 at 10:22 am [Reply]

    A3G: I blew up the comic strip hoping the brand on the pack of cigs was “Butz” or something like it. It wasn’t. It wasn’t really legible enough to be anything. However, that’s when I noticed the color of the cigarette. It’s the same color as the car in the panel, kind of a goofy green.

    Score another one for the color monkeys!

  118. Shrug, Sans Culottes, mais Avec Snark
    August 22nd, 2013 at 10:23 am [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#35):

    “Bull takes a job at Montoni’s “reconditioning” the uneaten slices people leave behind so that the pepperoni, cheese, and crust can be “repurposed” onto other pizzas.”

    Look on the bright side — perhaps this will finally cause the impoverished Westviewers to rise up in rebellion, overthrow the ruling class, and send Funky, Bull, Les, and the rest to the guillotine.

    See:

    The eve of the French revolution, by Edward J. Lowell. [1892].

    “For the very poor there was second-hand food, the rejected scraps of the
    rich. In Paris they were nasty enough; but at Versailles, where the king
    and the princes lived, even people that were well to do did not scorn to
    buy dishes that had been carried untouched from a royal table. . . . [Footnote: Ibid., v. 85, 249. Genlis, _Dictionnaire desetiquettes_, ii. 40, _n_., citing Buffon. Scraps of food are still sold in the Central Market of Paris.]”

    ***********
    Recently read a piece on this somewhere which noted there was even a trade in third-hand food, about which the author was too disgusted to go into detail.

  119. Chaze
    August 22nd, 2013 at 10:24 am [Reply]

    MT – Herk’s in good shape, so I’m not sure he’s heart attack material, unless his never ending Milford diner tour clogged his arteries that quickly. The payoff here has to deal with his dementia and I’ll be damned if I can quite predict how that works out. Maybe he’ll be an assistant wrestling coach at MHS.

    Meanwhile, golf lessons back at the CC have been abandoned, severely damaging the social aspirations of the next generation of Milford’s upper class.

  120. comcis fan
    August 22nd, 2013 at 10:25 am [Reply]

    Today’s strip brought to you by Meddling Meddlers and the Meddlers who Meddle Them.

  121. Chaze
    August 22nd, 2013 at 10:25 am [Reply]

    @Chaze (#119): excuse me….GT not MT.

  122. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    August 22nd, 2013 at 10:27 am [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#43): *SNURK!*

    well played, Anon, well played.

  123. Liam
    August 22nd, 2013 at 10:28 am [Reply]

    Luann-Just add ten tons of makeup and you’ll be a perfect clown in that outfit.

  124. Kristian
    August 22nd, 2013 at 10:29 am [Reply]

    @Maltmasher (#59): Could we have a cartoon with a plugger furiously beating his chest with the remote and the caption “A pluggers double bypass”?

    Pluggers: In plugger world, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lombardi%27s and Bob Guccione are the same person. “Dear Plugger Forum, I never thought it would happen to me, but there I was having pepperoni when a pound of bacon walks in …”

  125. Kristian
    August 22nd, 2013 at 10:33 am [Reply]

    Ack. Messed up the href tag again.

  126. Amos Snarkadder
    August 22nd, 2013 at 10:33 am [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#87): Brilliant! Thanks!

  127. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 22nd, 2013 at 10:39 am [Reply]

    @Écureuil Écumant (#100): Yes. Possibly. I’d rather not have to think about it too deeply right now.

  128. The Ridger
    August 22nd, 2013 at 10:39 am [Reply]

    Fort Knox: This tedious replacement – hahahaha, another wacky family – manages to get its core audience wrong today. As one senior chief I work with said, “We in the military call that ‘attention to detail’.” Frankly, I can’t imagine how lazy you have to be to mirror image uniforms like that.

  129. Cloudbuster
    August 22nd, 2013 at 10:40 am [Reply]

    @Tom D. (#99): What’s the Spanish translation for “Spider-Man: Threat or Menace?” — Costa Verde’s top newspaper editor, J. Jose Jiminez has a huge story to publish!

  130. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 22nd, 2013 at 10:43 am [Reply]

    @Shrug and All That Jazz (#95): That’s almost profound. Are you sure you didn’t mean to post it to some other blog?

  131. tallyHO
    August 22nd, 2013 at 10:44 am [Reply]

    @Fish (#84):

    Are you jealous, Fish?

  132. Cloudbuster
    August 22nd, 2013 at 10:48 am [Reply]

  133. Anonymous
    August 22nd, 2013 at 10:54 am [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#93): I would SOOOOO watch this.

    Jinkies!

  134. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 22nd, 2013 at 10:55 am [Reply]

    @The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan (#89): way back in 1797, William Wordsworth and Samuel Taylor Coleridge went on a “walking tour.” In order to pay for the expenses of said tour (presumably beer and a hotel room and beer), they hit upon the idea of writing a ballad together.

    Fulgent! I want to go on a kayak tour of the Florida Keys. I prefer rum, but I’ve a certain talent for clerihews and limericks. What do you think?

  135. Anonymous
    August 22nd, 2013 at 10:59 am [Reply]

  136. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    August 22nd, 2013 at 11:05 am [Reply]

  137. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    August 22nd, 2013 at 11:06 am [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#128): Tedious is right. It’s the same damned thing, day after day:
    First panel: Two to three expressionless people begin strained set-up to “joke.”
    Second panel: Two to three expressionless people continue strained set-up to “joke.”
    Third panel: One expressionless person says something that’s supposed to constitute the joke, while the other one or two people have little parentheses-things around their expressionless eyes that are supposed to signify a reaction to said “joke.”

    It’s not Reply All bad, but it sure ain’t good.

  138. Marc
    August 22nd, 2013 at 11:15 am [Reply]

    @Jim in Wisc. (#107): That’s like asking ‘what kind of pet shop is open at 1am playing loud jazz music and packed with people’. In that case it’s the “best damn pet shop in town”. In this case, it’s the mode screwed up universe in the comics.

    Ok, so they’re really totally unrelated. I just wanted an excuse to make a Simpsons reference.

  139. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 22nd, 2013 at 11:17 am [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#137): At last! The discussion comes back to Barney Google & Snuffy Smith!

  140. SurrealKangaroo
    August 22nd, 2013 at 11:23 am [Reply]

    Remember yesterday when I said that Plugger wives hate their husbands? This is exactly why.

  141. Irrischano
    August 22nd, 2013 at 11:24 am [Reply]

    Ok, there is no way Apartment 3-G takes place in present-day NYC, where cigarettes cost $50 a pack and no self-respecting tobacco addict would willingly spare even one. Given that there is a top hat-clad dandy in the background of panel one, my suspicions are only confirmed.

  142. Anonymous
    August 22nd, 2013 at 11:28 am [Reply]

    Your choice: column A or column B?
    http://pinterest.com/pin/262475484506226887/

  143. Lumaca Morente
    August 22nd, 2013 at 11:30 am [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#137): Save that for a quick cut-n-paste comment on almost any comic.

  144. Mr. Yezpitelok
    August 22nd, 2013 at 11:30 am [Reply]

    Frazz: “…backing out of the parking lot really slowly and carefully.”

    Which means it’s not Ed Crankshaft.

  145. tallyHO
    August 22nd, 2013 at 11:30 am [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#117):

    “…kind of a goofy green…”

    And some called it Mellow Yellow…while others said Yabba Doobie Do!

    (if it is a goofy cigarette then that explains her lopsided hairdo.)

  146. Casey, Crime Photographer
    August 22nd, 2013 at 11:38 am [Reply]

    @Mr. Yezpitelok (#116): Chip refers to his as “Dirty Dingus Magee”!

    That’s probably why Chip has started hanging around Yerkey’s Hole.

  147. bats :[
    August 22nd, 2013 at 11:42 am [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#43): and it has the cutest, squeelicious expression, too!

    @Anonymous (#45): I like it! And I’ll love it if the pterodactyl disembowels Spidey back in her nest, to feed her hungry chicks!

    @The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan (#54): well, I’d already ruled out fashion designer (until it was for the Barnum & Bailey clown college).

    (I think our un-cave-broken dino is a Triceratops. But bear in mind, the zenith of my dinosaurial skillz was when I was about eight years old or so…)

  148. tallyHO
    August 22nd, 2013 at 11:46 am [Reply]

    @Jim in Wisc. (#107):

    Well it surely the Plugger worlds isn’t a world which contain Claws Von Burylow.

    Ya know, technically Chicken Ladies… bosom, if it is right to call it such, is much larger and likely “juicier” than the young lady dog’s bouncy bosom. But, there’s a reason why Dog Dude is practically craning his head around at breakneck speeds.

    Chicken Lady may want to consider showing a bit more feathers, if you know what I’m saying*

    * I wish I didn’t know what I’m saying. help! Those Pluggers are expressing kinky thoughts!

    //and what is Dog Dudes waist size? 44? 48? Does he get along alright when he is buttoning buttons and buckling his belt? That opposable thumb set he has is working like a champ? Is his pining after some of that sweet, sweet miniskirted doggy goddess goodness making his olfactory sense go haywire? While his wife is in the frozen food section, will he run over to the obviously single dog and just shove his muzzle up her skirt and take whif? Will anyone bother to stop him? Will she circle around and sniff his obtuse behind to “better understand him”? Will his downfall be that he eats lots of frozen pizzas? Is that outcome ironic? Or, is that outcome moronic? What will happen if Chicken Lady catches them in the act? Will his claim of temporary atavism be good enough to get him off the hook? Or will his wife be so occupied by the rooster hanging out by the frozen peas that she never witnesses her husband and that hussy cavorting in the bulk goods section, between the rice and beans?

  149. Anonymous
    August 22nd, 2013 at 11:46 am [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#147): You are too kind, Maestra.

  150. Anonymous
    August 22nd, 2013 at 11:49 am [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#147): You’re right, it’s certainly not a stegosaurus. Rats. My paleontological skillz are as poor as my MS Paint skillz.

  151. Bonwah
    August 22nd, 2013 at 11:52 am [Reply]

    Pluggers: I thought the punchline here was going to be, “A Plugger hottie really isn’t very attractive.”

  152. Sequitur
    August 22nd, 2013 at 11:54 am [Reply]

    I think we should have a day where we all log in as “Anonymous” and try to guess who’s who.

  153. Anonymous
    August 22nd, 2013 at 11:55 am [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#152): I think that’s a stupid idea.

  154. tallyHO
    August 22nd, 2013 at 11:57 am [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#148):

    [IN THE FROZEN FOODS SECTION]
    bwaa…bwaaaa…bwaaaBUKCAK!

    [IN THE BULK FOODS AILSE]

    Dog dude is busy, true, but his ears perk up upon hearing the obvious sounds of Clucking.

    He smiles, turning back to his “business”, thinking to himself that someone is getting more pleasure than she’s ever had in her life. What a coincidence, ponders Dog Dude, he too is having a good time in the grocery and somehow this “doggie style” as his current partner calls is, feels more natural.

    So, at the end, he lets out a little howl, pushes the glasses up on his muzzle, before putting himself together. He needs to go find his wife before she finds him.

    In the frozen food section, the clucking continues. Between bulk foods and frozen foods lies the meat counter where the butcher is preparing some choice cuts and splattering blood around. …..

  155. Walker of Dog
    August 22nd, 2013 at 12:01 pm [Reply]

    @geogreg (#78): Since Rusty himself is one of the most inappropriate faunal assemblages around, it makes sense that his dreams would match.

    RMMD: At the next cocktail party: “That’s nothing – our Sarah is making money at a fifth-grade level!”

    Plug: The bird-wife is about to focus her henpecking on her husband’s crotch.

  156. tallyHO
    August 22nd, 2013 at 12:01 pm [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#153):

    Well, I’ll take it at face value that you are the World Renowned Anonymous. I’ve heard so much about you and could see how others pretending to be you would seem so…wrong.

    Leave him alone guys! Anonymous is one us, just a non like one of us!

  157. Vince M
    August 22nd, 2013 at 12:04 pm [Reply]

    @Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist (#37): re. Swinging from vines – see also: Robin Hood Daffy. “Yoiks, and awayyyy!”

  158. Sequitur
    August 22nd, 2013 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#156):

    Oh, that Anonymous. This guy.

  159. Liam
    August 22nd, 2013 at 12:14 pm [Reply]

    MW-In black and white it looks like Shannon is wearing a mesh shirt.

  160. Liam
    August 22nd, 2013 at 12:15 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#152):

    Sounds like fun.

  161. Anonymous
    August 22nd, 2013 at 12:21 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#158): Now we have to kill you.

  162. Lumaca Morente
    August 22nd, 2013 at 12:23 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#160): Let’s all sign in as Liam and everyone has to guess which is the real Liam – just like ‘What’s My Line’ ! (A show from long before Liam was ever dreamed of.)
    //This would actually be fairly easy as Liam has a distinctive style.
    //Also, Liam is ‘mail’ spelled backward.

  163. Sequitur
    August 22nd, 2013 at 12:23 pm [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#161):

    Not again.

  164. Morgan Wick
    August 22nd, 2013 at 12:25 pm [Reply]

    “Can you form a parachute of your webbing?” “Wait, you think I’m actually competent? You’ve been reading too many comic books, old buddy!”

  165. Sequitur
    August 22nd, 2013 at 12:26 pm [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#162):

    The easiest one to guess would be queek. And tallyHO.

  166. Lumaca Morente
    August 22nd, 2013 at 12:32 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#165): demoncat, I think because she uses her phone to comment.

  167. Lumaca Morente
    August 22nd, 2013 at 12:33 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#165): and Voshkod (if I’m spelling it right).

  168. Sequitur
    August 22nd, 2013 at 12:35 pm [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#167):

    And Helen Clark ((hic)).

  169. bats :[
    August 22nd, 2013 at 12:39 pm [Reply]

    Kinda quiet on the snarking front today (for me, at least). So go with a winner, at least in a manner of speaking…

  170. Lumaca Morente
    August 22nd, 2013 at 12:39 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#168): Absholutely!

  171. Liam
    August 22nd, 2013 at 12:40 pm [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#162):

    Should I be insulted or complimented? I’ll go with complimented.

  172. Anonymous
    August 22nd, 2013 at 12:42 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#169): Now that’s what I’m talkin’ about. (bows in reverence)

  173. Lumaca Morente
    August 22nd, 2013 at 12:42 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#171): Why would you not be complimented? Don’t you like being distinctive, young man?

  174. Liam
    August 22nd, 2013 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#162):

    When was “What’s My Line” on? I know of it.

  175. Amos Snarkadder DBA Curmudgeon Farm
    August 22nd, 2013 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#117):

    A3G: I blew up the comic strip hoping the brand on the pack of cigs was “Butz” or something like it. It wasn’t.

    It doesn’t quite look like a pack of cigarettes. Maybe we’ve misjudged Tori.
    And Marty, too.

  176. Mars
    August 22nd, 2013 at 12:45 pm [Reply]

    Uh. Not only are they, in fact, in a comic anyway, but Spidey has made a parachute from his webbing already….not just in his regular market book, but IN THIS VERY STRIP. In fact, it was less than two years ago!

  177. Sequitur
    August 22nd, 2013 at 12:46 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#171):

    A compliment. It would be hard to imitate your sardonicly witty one-liners.

  178. Buck Ripsnort
    August 22nd, 2013 at 12:47 pm [Reply]

    PLuggers: I don’t care HOW familiar your wife is w/ your impotence, when you make a noise like that around another woman female creature, at least pretend you’re passing gas.

    It’s the gentlemanly thing to do, dammit.

  179. jim, some guy in iowa
    August 22nd, 2013 at 12:48 pm [Reply]

    @Mars (#176): two *years*? hell, that’s back in the dinosaur days, for a guy with the proportional attention span of a spider

  180. Lumaca Morente
    August 22nd, 2013 at 12:49 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#174): 1950 – 1967, or, shortly before your parents were born.

  181. Anonymousier Than Thou
    August 22nd, 2013 at 12:50 pm [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#162):

    “Let’s all sign in as Liam and everyone has to guess which is the real Liam – just like ‘What’s My Line’ !”

    Shouldn’t that be “What’s My Liam”?

  182. Sequitur
    August 22nd, 2013 at 12:51 pm [Reply]

    @jim, some guy in iowa (#179):

    A spider never forgets.

    // Or am I getting my spiders and elephants mixed up again?

  183. Anonymous
    August 22nd, 2013 at 12:52 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#169): Please accept this slight token of my esteem.
    http://pinterest.com/pin/262475484506227212/

  184. Alfred E. Neuman
    August 22nd, 2013 at 12:52 pm [Reply]

    FW— “But Coach, screwing other teams’ quarterbacks is a Westview tradition. We’re just honoring Saint Lisa!”

  185. Liam
    August 22nd, 2013 at 12:52 pm [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#173):

    Sometimes I like anonymity. I stand out in real life too since my name is rare and the way that I sound.

  186. Liam
    August 22nd, 2013 at 12:53 pm [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#180):

    Thanks. My parents might have watched it. Dad was born in’52 and Mom in ’53.

  187. Lumaca Morente
    August 22nd, 2013 at 12:54 pm [Reply]

    @Amos Snarkadder DBA Curmudgeon Farm (#175): Wow, what an improvement on the original!

  188. Lumaca Morente
    August 22nd, 2013 at 12:55 pm [Reply]

    @Anonymousier Than Thou (#181): Oh, I wish I’d thought of that!

  189. Lumaca Morente
    August 22nd, 2013 at 12:57 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#185): Do you talk like Truman Capote or something?
    //I picture you looking like Sven.

  190. The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan
    August 22nd, 2013 at 12:59 pm [Reply]

  191. Anonymous
    August 22nd, 2013 at 1:00 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#152): What a fulgent idea! If I weren’t so minced oath somniculous I’d break out my K&E 1083-5 Decilog slide rule and calculate how effulgent and possibly refulgent it is!

  192. Liam
    August 22nd, 2013 at 1:01 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#177):

    I had to look up sardonicly. Thanks. I never heard that word before. I learned something new today.

  193. Anonymous
    August 22nd, 2013 at 1:02 pm [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#191): Oh, get out of here, Shrug.

  194. Voshkod
    August 22nd, 2013 at 1:05 pm [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#167): I guess that’s a good thing. . . . unless the police are ever hunting me down via my comments on CC.

  195. DaveyK
    August 22nd, 2013 at 1:10 pm [Reply]

    At the risk of thinking too hard about it, I’d feel more comfortable if plugger dog-man did go home with sexy dog-lady rather than continue his unnatural dog-on-chicken sexual adventure, long-term commitments notwithstanding.

  196. Anónimo
    August 22nd, 2013 at 1:10 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#152): Hola el stupido. iPLOP!

  197. Anonymous
    August 22nd, 2013 at 1:13 pm [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#193): Nay! By my trusty scimitar, I swear, that is Peanut Gallery!

    // Ouch, my spleen!

  198. Anonymous
    August 22nd, 2013 at 1:16 pm [Reply]

    By the pricking of my jauntily bouncing bums, something Snarkadderish this way comes!

  199. Anonymous
    August 22nd, 2013 at 1:21 pm [Reply]

  200. Odie Odo
    August 22nd, 2013 at 1:21 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#186):

    Hmmm… Brooke McEldowney was born in 1952. Are you his firstborn son,
    Liam McEldowney?

  201. Dawn Weston's Evil Twin
    August 22nd, 2013 at 1:22 pm [Reply]

    MW: OMG, the sharing circle is over? Only three people shared, and only one was interesting, and she left right away. Life is brutal. Where’s Dave?

    JP: I’m glad they finally got back to this plot. I had been wondering for weeks what was developing. It seems that time-wise, we’ve gone back in time, since Abby Spencer and Dr. Thalia Clearing are still having the same conversation. This has to be some sort of scam on the Clearings’ part. If the UN owed them money, they would surely be able to put up a few thousand Euro, wouldn’t they?

  202. Lumaca Morente
    August 22nd, 2013 at 1:24 pm [Reply]

    @Anónimo (#196): Dennis Jimenez?

  203. AnonymouShrugier Than Thou
    August 22nd, 2013 at 1:25 pm [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#193):

    Off by ten posts.

  204. Lumaca Morente
    August 22nd, 2013 at 1:25 pm [Reply]

    @Voshkod (#194): As may very well happen.

  205. Odie Odo
    August 22nd, 2013 at 1:30 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#192): Your father Brooke McEldowney credits Mr. Sardonicus with inspiring his drawing style:

    http://community.ebay.com/ebay01/attachments/ebay01/237/29955/1/5200082934_sardonicus.jpg

  206. bats :[
    August 22nd, 2013 at 1:35 pm [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#183): It’s sort of a plushie torture chamber — I LOFF EET!

    @Amos Snarkadder DBA Curmudgeon Farm (#175): HAR!

    Liam (#186): just stay outa reach of my cane, whippersnapper… ;)

    @Odie Odo (#200): …the one we *don’t* speak of?

  207. A.E.Nonymous
    August 22nd, 2013 at 1:35 pm [Reply]

    Incognito ergo sum.

  208. Casey, Crime Photographer
    August 22nd, 2013 at 1:44 pm [Reply]

    @Odie Odo (#205): Did William Castle’s Mr. Sardonicus come before or after his Let’s Kill Uncle Lumpy?

    http://goregirl.files.wordpress.com/2013/07/lku.jpg

  209. Lumaca Morente
    August 22nd, 2013 at 1:48 pm [Reply]

    @A.E.Nonymous (#207): Hey! Camus said that!

  210. AnonymouShrugier Than Thou
    August 22nd, 2013 at 1:55 pm [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#188):

    “Oh, I wish I’d thought of that!”

    You will, Oscar-snail, you will.

  211. Voshkod
    August 22nd, 2013 at 1:58 pm [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#204): How could they know that I plant clues to all of my murders in my posts on this site, including this one (which details an unexpectedly self-referential murder)?

  212. Dennis Jimenez
    August 22nd, 2013 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#202):¡Ay, caramba!

  213. Alison
    August 22nd, 2013 at 2:00 pm [Reply]

    “Rex Morgan”: This lady seems awfully sure that Sarah’s book is going to sell like hotcakes.

    I wonder how many people really buy books little kids “wrote”. I do remember my own mom having one book like that when I was little. It was about kids’ “real” answers to questions like “What does the president do all day?” I remember most of the answers were incredibly cutesy and fake-sounding (“The president takes care of the world, but he still has to go to bed when his mommy tells him to!”, etc). Looking back, I’m sure it was written by an adult, not actual children. Honestly, in the age of the internet, I can’t imagine this kind of stuff would still sell. Then again, I’m not the kind of person who would have ever bought something like that in the first place.

    “Luann”: Bernice, no one is making you look so ugly. If you feel bad about your looks, get rid of that circa-1988 perm, buy some modern-looking glasses or get contact lenses, and stop wearing things like checkered vests. Otherwise, quit acting like the fact you look so terrible is someone else’s fault and there is nothing you can do about it except complain to Delta.

  214. Lumaca Morente
    August 22nd, 2013 at 2:00 pm [Reply]

    @AnonymouShrugier Than Thou (#210): Your Shrugginess is like a stream of bats:[ piss.

  215. Lumaca Morente
    August 22nd, 2013 at 2:01 pm [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#214): Pardon the vulgarity.

  216. Liam
    August 22nd, 2013 at 2:02 pm [Reply]

    @Odie Odo (#200):

    Nope he is not my father. I’m trying to make a joke here about my family’s last name and the pronunciation of castle without a ‘c’ and the word asshole.

  217. Liam
    August 22nd, 2013 at 2:04 pm [Reply]

    @Odie Odo (#205):

    That picture is nightmare fuel. More teeth than the Osmonds.

  218. AnonymouShrugier Than Thou
    August 22nd, 2013 at 2:09 pm [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#215):

    “Your Shrugginess is like a stream of bats:[ piss.”

    ‘Salright, I’m kinky.

  219. A Sunny Moo
    August 22nd, 2013 at 2:10 pm [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#197): Yes, it must have been Peanut Gallery, because instead of just signing his name “Anonymous,” he used an anagram of “Mayo Nouns.”

  220. Lumaca Morente
    August 22nd, 2013 at 2:14 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#216): Ah – the ancestral Castle McEldowney, or as it was known to the locals, As’le McEldowney.

  221. Lumaca Morente
    August 22nd, 2013 at 2:14 pm [Reply]

    @AnonymouShrugier Than Thou (#218): Like a stream of gold when all around is dark…

  222. Lumaca Morente
    August 22nd, 2013 at 2:15 pm [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#221): Not that I have ever closely examined bats:[ excretions.

  223. Peanut Gallery
    August 22nd, 2013 at 2:15 pm [Reply]

    @Casey, Crime Photographer (#6):

    Nick O’Teen looks at least 40.

    That’s what smoking will do to you, kids!

  224. Daniel
    August 22nd, 2013 at 2:17 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers OH GOD THE HENWIFE IS TURNING INTO SHOE.

  225. Calico
    August 22nd, 2013 at 2:25 pm [Reply]

    3G – Bad Grrrrrl must be a tweaker too-look at that shaking hand.

  226. Calico
    August 22nd, 2013 at 2:30 pm [Reply]

    RM – the artist is taking cues from Bolle – look at the way June is turned away from the museum lady while talking.

  227. tallyHO
    August 22nd, 2013 at 2:31 pm [Reply]

    @Voshkod (#211):

    Ohkosh, By Gosh, Voshkod!

    Don’t tease us! Spill!

    //my guess is you may also know where Marmaduke has the bodies buried, too.

  228. ANONYMOUS!
    August 22nd, 2013 at 2:34 pm [Reply]

    I THINK YOU ALL ARE NUTS!!!

    mmmm nuts

  229. Peanut Gallery
    August 22nd, 2013 at 2:35 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#48): Heh! I like “foregroundosaurus.”

  230. tallyHO
    August 22nd, 2013 at 2:35 pm [Reply]

    @DaveyK (#195):

    Now that you mention it, that would be oddly reassuring.

    Of course, Chicken Lady should have a moment in the sun, too. (the lifespan difference between a chicken and a dog alone would make the disparity in the relationship heartbreaking. (if one were to care, that is).

  231. Calico
    August 22nd, 2013 at 2:36 pm [Reply]

    @Amos Snarkadder DBA Curmudgeon Farm (#175):
    Maybe Marty is on her way to Coogan’s on Broadway and 168th, near C-P Hospital. Cool place.

  232. Peanut Gallery
    August 22nd, 2013 at 2:36 pm [Reply]

    @ANONYMOUS! (#228): Ooh, I’ve got this one! tallyHO, right?

  233. ANONYMOUS!
    August 22nd, 2013 at 2:39 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#232): WHO YOU CALLING A HO??!!

    i do go to ho foods to gather my nuts

  234. yaoi huntress earth
    August 22nd, 2013 at 2:41 pm [Reply]

    Pibgorn: The biggest problem with the breasts is that it looks like they’re placed in the middle of her torso. Given how the clevage on the dress is, it makes her loos like she has no breasts at all. And if she did, you could see everything from it.

  235. Calico
    August 22nd, 2013 at 2:43 pm [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#29):
    Hey, anybody remember The Payolas?
    I think Bob Rock went on to be Metallica’s producer and bass player, if it is actually the same Bob Rock.

    3G – Worst hair extensions ever.

  236. Voshkod
    August 22nd, 2013 at 2:49 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#227): I am Marmaduke, the howling chaos, the maw of darkness, the big front feet of . . . sorry, I think I got off track there . . . Iä! Iä!

  237. Peanut Gallery
    August 22nd, 2013 at 2:50 pm [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#128):

    This tedious replacement – hahahaha, another wacky family

    They probably took it from the Tinkersons.

  238. Liam
    August 22nd, 2013 at 2:51 pm [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#220):

    Sorry but my ancestors worked for the people who owned the castle. My last name is Astle and refers to a location.

  239. Calico
    August 22nd, 2013 at 2:54 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#117):
    “Kind of a goofy green”
    Well, maybe it’s a blunt!

  240. Casey, Crime Photographer
    August 22nd, 2013 at 2:55 pm [Reply]

    Mary Worth: After Aggie stormed out, Mary was forced to drop her plans for a mass meddle. Fortunately, she’s always excelled in one-on-one meddling — with Shannon Ball as her unwitting victim this time.

  241. Calico
    August 22nd, 2013 at 2:56 pm [Reply]

    Tomorrow’s MT – Rusty wears a leopard-spotted loincloth, and loses it.

  242. bats :[
    August 22nd, 2013 at 2:58 pm [Reply]

    @ANONYMOUS! (#233): who else but Hammy?

  243. A.E.Nonymous
    August 22nd, 2013 at 2:59 pm [Reply]

    @ANONYMOUS! (#228): @Peanut Gallery (#232): @ANONYMOUS! (#233):
    I think it’s HAMMY THE SEQUIRREL!

  244. A.E.Nonymous
    August 22nd, 2013 at 3:01 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#242): Missed it by that much.

  245. ANONYMOUS!
    August 22nd, 2013 at 3:03 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#242):, @A.E.Nonymous (#243): ER, UH, UM,… HAMMY WHO???

    i admit to nutting

  246. Amos Snarkadder
    August 22nd, 2013 at 3:03 pm [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#187): @bats :[ (#206): @Calico (#231): Thx! When Tori wants to be edgy she drinks Snapple. A whole 16 oz one, all by herself.

  247. Amos Snarkadder
    August 22nd, 2013 at 3:04 pm [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#198): *snicker* You said “prick.”

  248. Casey, Crime Photographer
    August 22nd, 2013 at 3:05 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#238):

    Does your family come from the Haight-Astlebury district of San Francisco?

    @Calico (#241):

    I hope there isn’t spotted dick under Rusty Trail’s leopard-spotted loincloth.

  249. Liam
    August 22nd, 2013 at 3:10 pm [Reply]

    Spiderman-We should start a death count for this story and see how many people Spiderman kills.

  250. A non-Amos
    August 22nd, 2013 at 3:12 pm [Reply]

    The problem, of course, with all of us being Anonymous is that we can’t sort ourselves out from the rest later.

  251. Anonymous McAnonymous
    August 22nd, 2013 at 3:12 pm [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#222):

    “Not that I have ever closely examined bats:[ excretions.”

    Er, not “closely”?

  252. Dennis Jimenez
    August 22nd, 2013 at 3:15 pm [Reply]

    @A non-Amos (#250): A-non-Amos & A-non-Andy….

  253. Ratiocinator
    August 22nd, 2013 at 3:15 pm [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#13): I know, but sometimes I just have to ask anyway. Or rather, scream the question to the heavens.

    @remmy (#23): Indeed.

    @TheDiva (#40):

    Didn’t Gwen Stacy’s death avert the whole “you won’t die by falling as long as you stop yourself before you hit the ground” trope? You’d think Spider-Man of all people would know better on this one…

    Subsequent rescues of falling people by Spidey following that often emphasized that he was trying not to make the same mistake he did with Gwen, IIRC usually by swinging down to grab ahold of them in mid-air and redirecting their momentum so that it arced upward instead of continuing down, or something. He might be doing something right for once, since it looks like he’s trying to swing away instead of just drop.

    @Écureuil Écumant (#94): *tries not to laugh, fails utterly*

    @Shrug as a Bug, Like That Lug (#101): They did do a superhero special once, but didn’t test anything Spider-Man related. I’d kind of like to see them test the Gwen Stacy death one of these days, actually.

    @Cloudbuster (#129): I wonder if he’s any relation to Dennis?

  254. Casey, Crime Photographer
    August 22nd, 2013 at 3:15 pm [Reply]

    @Amos Snarkadder (#246):

    Well, you should know since Tori Amos (Snarkadder) is your sister.

    And for the record, I love Tori’s “Famous Amos” cookies!

  255. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    August 22nd, 2013 at 3:16 pm [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#143): Who do you think I am, Jef Keane, or Ray Billingsley, or Mort Walker, or . . . (insert hack here)?

  256. Swinging Shru... (snap!)
    August 22nd, 2013 at 3:20 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#40):

    U of Minnesota scienceprof/popculturemaven devotes a chapter to the Gwen Stacy bit in this (fun) book:

    Author Kakalios, James, 1958-
    Title The physics of superheroes / James Kakalios.
    Published New York : Gotham Books, c2005.
    Description xvi, 365 p. : ill. ; 24 cm.

    Availability TC Walter Sci/Eng Library Books (Level F) QC23.2 .K35 2005 Regular Loan

    Contents Introduction : secret origins : how science saved superhero comic books — Up, up, and away : forces and motion — Deconstructing Krypton : Newton’s law of gravity — The day Gwen Stacy died : impulse and momentum — Can he swing from a thread? : centripetal acceleration — Flash facts : friction, drag, and sound — Like a flash of lightning : special relativity — If this be my density : properties of matter — Can Ant-Man punch his way out of a paper bag? : torque and rotation — Is Ant-Man deaf, dumb, and blind? : simple harmonic motion — Does size matter? : the cube-square law — The Central City diet plan : conservation of energy — The case of the missing work : the three laws of thermodynamics — Mutant meteorology : conduction and convection — How the monstrous menace of the mysterious melter makes dinner preparation a breeze : phase transitions — Electro’s clinging ways : electrostatics — Superman schools Spider-Man : electrical currents — How Electro becomes Magneto when he runs : Ampere’s law — How Magneto becomes Electro when he runs : magnetism and Faraday’s law — Electro and Magneto do the wave : electromagnetism and light — Jouney into the microverse : atomic physics — Not a dream! Not a hoax! Not an imaginary tale! : quantum mechanics — Through a wall lightly : tunneling phenomena — Sock it to Shellhead : solid-state physics — Me am Bizarro! : superhero bloopers — Afterword : lo, there shall be an ending! — Ask Dr. K!.
    Note “Key equations”: p. [317]-321.
    Note Includes bibliographical references (p. [323]-344) and index.

  257. Liam
    August 22nd, 2013 at 3:21 pm [Reply]

    FC-”I sold bottles of medicine in a traveling show. Your momma would dance for the money they threw.”

  258. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    August 22nd, 2013 at 3:21 pm [Reply]

    @Alison (#213): “Rex Morgan”: This lady seems awfully sure that Sarah’s book is going to sell like hotcakes.

    20,000 copies per year for four years of a book of pictures drawn by a 5YO kid and sold in the museum gift shop sounds like a perfectly reasonable assumption. Art museum patrons love that kind of thing! I’m sure that the failure to promote the book as was intended – by having a long-running contest to select the child artist(s) – won’t prevent it from flying off the shelves.

    It would be hilarious to see the fallout three years later when museum lady is questioned on her decision to commit to this project that has, so far, sold 37 copies of “A Horse’s Tale: Retrospectives on a Lifetime of Horsie Drawing”.

    ‘What was your business model here? How many total books does the gift shop normally sell in a year? 5,000? And you were going to quadruple those sales with this? Oh, it is because of the synergies developed by renewed focus on our core competencies – oh, well that makes sense the- WAIT! Those are just buzzwords! You have no idea what you are doing, do you? It’s almost as if you have no business training whatsoever! We’d fire you if it weren’t for the fact that you are a volunteer! Even still, we are taking Widdle Sawah’s $11.10 in royalties out of your meal allowance!’

  259. Amos Snarkadder
    August 22nd, 2013 at 3:23 pm [Reply]

    @Casey, Crime Photographer (#254): And we tried to keep it a secret…

  260. Alfred E. Neuman
    August 22nd, 2013 at 3:24 pm [Reply]

    @A.E.Nonymous (#207) said: “Incognito ergo sum.”
    @Lumaca Morente (#209) replied: “Hey! Camus said that!”

    Thus the origin of the term “camusflage”.

  261. Amos Snarkadder
    August 22nd, 2013 at 3:27 pm [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#222):

    Not that I have ever closely examined bats:[ excretions.

    Ewww! We don’t guano know about that!

  262. I speak Jive
    August 22nd, 2013 at 3:46 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#258): I wonder if the Museum Lady handles all of her job duties so breezily. If she has any responsibility for financial matters – and it seems she does, if she is handing out book contracts – it’s a wonder the museum isn’t in bankruptcy already.

    A3G – How old are these girls supposed to be again? I can’t imagine anyone under 80 wearing shirts like that.

  263. Sequitur
    August 22nd, 2013 at 3:53 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#192):

    Glad to help out on the vocab.

    It’s great to learn something new every day. Like today, I learned that spiders never forget… or was that elephants? Raccoons?

  264. Calico
    August 22nd, 2013 at 3:57 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#257):
    Or, “After the war I was a boilermaker, and broke my back several times. Hence my hunched-over look and the constant pain that requires me to take Oxycontin daily. Also, because of the pills, I don’t speak.”

  265. Liam
    August 22nd, 2013 at 4:00 pm [Reply]

    @Casey, Crime Photographer (#248):

    We are from Flushing, New York and before that my grandfather was from the Chesire area of England.

  266. Calico
    August 22nd, 2013 at 4:00 pm [Reply]

    @Fish (#84):
    Fish! Nice to see you. How’s life in Scotland?

  267. Shrug, Scot-Free
    August 22nd, 2013 at 4:01 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#266):

    Scotland? I thought Fish lived in a bowl and got snarked at by Poncho of POOCH CAFE.

  268. Sequitur
    August 22nd, 2013 at 4:12 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug, Scot-Free (#267):

    Hoo-ray for Pooch Cafe.

  269. Cloudbuster
    August 22nd, 2013 at 4:22 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#86): I imagine this is the neckline he was going for, but I couldn’t find anything as low-cut as he drew on a teen. Because, you know, modesty and such.

  270. Alison
    August 22nd, 2013 at 4:23 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#258):
    That last paragraph is exactly what the museum curator (that briefly-seen man with the ponytail) should have said to Ms. Lanning back in that strip where Lanning introduced Widdle Sarah to him and explained the idea in the first place.

    I have to say that one good thing has come out of this ridiculous storyline: the fact that we now know nobody in the Morgan family really believes in Sarah, including Sarah herself. Sarah was full of doubt over her own book deal, figuring she only got it because of her age. Rex has looked stunned and horrified every time the subject of the book deal has come up. And June, today, expresses concern Sarah won’t bother to continue as an artist. Most shockingly, June doesn’t even look happy when she says that Sarah’s making money! Ms. Lanning is apparently the only one who doesn’t think Widdle Sarah’s career as an author is going to go pear-shaped.

  271. Mr. O'Malley
    August 22nd, 2013 at 4:34 pm [Reply]

    @The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan (#89): And Rime of the Ancient Mariner was based to a certain extent on an account of Arctic exploration. I have the book at home, I’ll post the reference tonight.

    Isn’t Alley Oop leaving out Claire Clairmont?

  272. Calico
    August 22nd, 2013 at 4:50 pm [Reply]

  273. Mr. O'Malley
    August 22nd, 2013 at 4:56 pm [Reply]

    @geogreg (#78): TRMT is following pretty closely on “The Ghost of Slumber Mountain”. The link to the original film was posted a couple of days ago. So I don’t think dinosaur films in those days were too careful about matching eras.

    I would have liked to see him include the lonely haunted cabin and the old hermit’s ghost too, but I guess you have to start somewhere.

  274. commodorejohn
    August 22nd, 2013 at 5:02 pm [Reply]

    A3G – Please, please let this herald a return of Jones and Hayley.

  275. Mr K Martin
    August 22nd, 2013 at 5:08 pm [Reply]

    PLUGGERS: You know what makes nobody drool? Women with human bodies and dog heads.

  276. WoofGlub
    August 22nd, 2013 at 5:15 pm [Reply]

    @Mr K Martin (#275):

    Well, if the women had fish bodies and dog heads, they could be mermalamutes.

  277. Shrug: Fish, and It's Not Even Friday?
    August 22nd, 2013 at 5:17 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#272):

    So Abe Vigoda *IS* alive.

    Looking pretty good, too.

  278. Flonatin of Bologna
    August 22nd, 2013 at 5:49 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#235): All true. He also worked with the Moffatts, which, for those who are not Canadian, were like Hanson, only more.

    Also, everyone is mixing up What’s My Line with To Tell The Truth. I’ve Got A Secret is the best of the group, though.

  279. Sequitur
    August 22nd, 2013 at 5:52 pm [Reply]

  280. Uncle Lumpy
    August 22nd, 2013 at 6:04 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#258):

    Rex Morgan, M.D. — Many years ago I sat on the board of a chamber orchestra in Wisconsin while a couple other members pitched a cookbook fundraiser, the business plan for which was essentially, “Let’s publish a cookbook!”

    For a nonprofit administrator — especially in the arts — Ms. Lanning is a model of fiscal probity and hard-nosed business acumen.

    PS. Wanna buy a cookbook? I know a place where 95% of a significant press run is still mouldering in an attic.

  281. commodorejohn
    August 22nd, 2013 at 6:12 pm [Reply]

    @Mr K Martin (#275): Speak for yourself, man, that dog-gal’s got it on both the front and back range…

  282. Calico
    August 22nd, 2013 at 6:14 pm [Reply]

    @Flonatin of Bologna (#278):
    I recall seeing the Moffats on a Juno presentation show either 2003 or 2004, I think.
    I always liked this Rock/Hyde song (as The Payolas, and I even have a vinyl copy of their well-selling album)
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1C_fVnE3xHY
    Odd video, though

  283. walt d.
    August 22nd, 2013 at 6:14 pm [Reply]

    Pibgorn: Nice dress. I’m impressed.

    Pibgorn: This telling of the story would be greatly improved, first, by eliminating the dialog, and second, by eliminating those stupid op-art backgrounds.

    Hi and Lois: “Good, clean fun” version of exploiting children’s sexuality, as opposed to Brooke’s Lolita-ish version. Ditto is trying to hide his privates from his mother and sister, both of whom see them all the time. (The twins were still taking their baths together, last I knew.) Would a sister do such a mean thing to her brother? Ten times out of ten.

    RMMD: This HAS to end up being a con. It simply has to. This is dumber than your typical MW/MT story, and less plausible than the 9CL trial.

    RMMD: If you look out a window you will see Ruthie from OBH carrying a picket sign: UNFAIR.

    RMMD: I liked* the nude statue the other day that looked exactly like a nude drawing from an old Playboy cartoon. I can absolutely imagine such a thing in a museum, with the docent explaining earnestly that it’s not really a representation of a naked woman, or even a “nude”. It’s an ironic comment upon the sort of low brow people who would create or appreciate such statues.
    * I liked it because it was so out of place in a “proper” museum, and could only be there for the reason just given. (Or alternately, it was donated by a major patron, and the museum couldn’t bring itself to tell him that he has horrible taste.)

  284. Calico
    August 22nd, 2013 at 6:20 pm [Reply]

    Speaking of Canadian musicians, does anyone else remember Carole Pope and Rough Trade? Woo hoo
    (I think she’s lived in LA for several years and is out)

  285. Calico
    August 22nd, 2013 at 6:21 pm [Reply]

  286. Uncle Lumpy
    August 22nd, 2013 at 6:27 pm [Reply]

    @walt d. (#283):

    It’s art of a kind, I suppose.
    But that statue’d look better with hose —
    Something nice and fishnetty
    To fit in at the Getty,
    The Guggenheim, Frick, or Melrose!

  287. Sequitur
    August 22nd, 2013 at 6:27 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#282):

    So, is the band still around or is it extinct? The reason I ask is because this was one of the side videos while viewing your linked video.

  288. Firefly
    August 22nd, 2013 at 6:27 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers would rather have sex with a pizza instead of their wife or a female of their own species.

  289. walt d.
    August 22nd, 2013 at 6:27 pm [Reply]

    I opened my email today, and the boldface snippet said “Walt D”. What the hell, I thought. How did they find me? (In reality, of course, Josh has my actual name and email.) A second glance showed that the message was from Amazon, and a third glance showed that the reference was to a selection of Walt Disney books. (That’s the wrong Walt D., by the way.) I was a little more concerned when, a couple weeks after the great cupcake cake discussion, Amazon sent an email offering a selection of their cupcake cake books.

  290. Calico
    August 22nd, 2013 at 6:33 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#287):
    Not sure, but what a shame about those fascinating animals.

  291. Dale
    August 22nd, 2013 at 6:51 pm [Reply]

    MARK TRAIL

    We know Mark has seen the movie. Where else would he have learned that it is acceptable to snoop around other people’s property, even if he has to break in a locked door? Declaring a place abandoned doesn’t really make the contents yours.

    Rusty has to show up in his own dream, soon. Will the dinos be his friends or will he be prey or hunter?

  292. commodorejohn
    August 22nd, 2013 at 6:56 pm [Reply]

    @walt d. (#289): (That’s the wrong Walt D., by the way.)
    Ha! You can’t fool us, Walt! We know they froze your head!

    Good to hear they got the network interface for the cryo chamber up and running, though.

  293. Mr K Martin
    August 22nd, 2013 at 6:57 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#281):

    Them ain’t real. Just ask Chicken Woman.

  294. Joel Bryan
    August 22nd, 2013 at 7:03 pm [Reply]

    A3G Tori? That’s obviously a grown Claudia Kishi. That cigarette she’s offering is merely a means to lure Marty through the gateway to something truly addictive– junkfood, junkfood and more junkfood.

  295. Joe Blevins
    August 22nd, 2013 at 7:05 pm [Reply]

    A3G: Man, I’ve gotta keep up with Apartment 3-G more. For a second there, I thought, “Oh no! Margo’s stopped taking her meds and has become a drifter!”

    SPIDEY: It’s nice that Spider-Man and Tarantula can keep up their William Powell/Myrna Loy banter while plummeting to their deaths.

    PLUGGERS: The really sad detail is that Chicken Lady is looking in the direction of her husband’s now-vestigial penis during all this.

  296. Amos Snarkadder DBA Curmudgeon Farm
    August 22nd, 2013 at 7:05 pm [Reply]

    GT And now, an “after hours” scenario:
    This has some definite undertones. The way Gil gives himself up so easily. If this thought didn’t occur to you before… it will now.

  297. Mr K Martin
    August 22nd, 2013 at 7:07 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#281):

    To be fair to everyone’s tastes, Dr. Moreau is currently downloading her picture with one hand.

  298. Joel Bryan
    August 22nd, 2013 at 7:08 pm [Reply]

    Although now that I’ve discovered the secret, there’s a very good chance those are candy cigarettes.

  299. Cloudbuster
    August 22nd, 2013 at 7:09 pm [Reply]

    @Mr K Martin (#275): I can say with complete confidence that you are totally wrong. (Probably NSFW)

  300. commodorejohn
    August 22nd, 2013 at 7:09 pm [Reply]

    @Mr K Martin (#293): Chicken Woman’s just factory-fattened is all. But dog-lady is a mammal, y’know…

  301. Casey, Crime Photographer
    August 22nd, 2013 at 7:10 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug: Fish, and It’s Not Even Friday? (#277):

    Abe’s brother Bill Vigoda worked for Archie Comics starting in the 1940s:

    http://zvbxrpl.blogspot.com/2011/08/who-was-bill-vigoda.html

  302. The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan
    August 22nd, 2013 at 7:12 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#134): Keep your day job.

  303. Alison
    August 22nd, 2013 at 7:15 pm [Reply]

    @Joel Bryan (#294):
    I hope Marty’s not a diabetic, like Stacey! Otherwise she will have to reject Margo’s junk food. The BSC taught me that all diabetics are allowed to eat is rice cakes. And hopefully Marty is not from California, like Dawn. The BSC also taught me that people from California only like healthy food.

  304. Mary Sue MacGuffin
    August 22nd, 2013 at 7:15 pm [Reply]

    MT: “Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!”

  305. The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan
    August 22nd, 2013 at 7:15 pm [Reply]

    @Mr. O’Malley (#271):

    Isn’t Alley Oop leaving out Claire Clairmont?

    Yeah, sure. You betcha.

  306. Joel Bryan
    August 22nd, 2013 at 7:20 pm [Reply]

    @Alison (#303):

    You’ve cracked the plotline already. Now I’m really anxious to read the outcome!

  307. Gladly, the cross-eyed bear
    August 22nd, 2013 at 7:22 pm [Reply]

    @Marc (#61): I think it’s overly generous to call anything in A3G a “story.” They’re more like snippets of a fever dream, disconnected vignettes that hint at a story, then vanish, to be replaced by another semi-coherent conversation.

  308. Casey, Crime Photographer
    August 22nd, 2013 at 7:25 pm [Reply]

    @Casey, Crime Photographer (#301): There’s a 1940s Archie story about halfway down the page. Veronica looks like she’s well into her twenties —
    and there’s even a nude shower scene (NOT of Veronica, unfortunately).

  309. Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist
    August 22nd, 2013 at 7:26 pm [Reply]

    @ 263. Sequitur

    True, spiders never forget elephants.

    Unfortunately, they have a mighty poor memory for everything else.

    ( This message was written by Chief Terrorist Al Nony Mas.)

  310. The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan
    August 22nd, 2013 at 7:27 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#280): This is something I never understood in all my years as a pastor. Cookbooks worked as fundraisers. The women of the church had always known one another for decades, if not their entire lives, and had been swapping recipes that entire time. Yet they’d happily shell out good money for a cubic buttload of them to give as gifts to other women who presumably knew the cooks and/or had read all their recipes in Good Housekeeping. Half the time the recipients were granddaughters who could only have been interested in them for granny’s recipes…which they could get for free, if they’d only asked. It made, and still makes, no damn sense at all. Their only practical purpose was as doorstops. Yet and still, they raised good sums of money for the congregations I served.

    I can vouch for their effectiveness as tools of evangelism, though. At my last church, we’d have lots of people stop by to see the cemetery where their ancestors were buried. Sometimes, we’d send them away with a cookbook, which they always appreciated.

  311. Liam
    August 22nd, 2013 at 7:32 pm [Reply]

    A3G-”I do cocaine instead.”

    JP-Looks like it’s time to call the A-Team.

  312. Mr. Yezpitelok
    August 22nd, 2013 at 7:44 pm [Reply]

    @Casey, Crime Photographer (#301): One of my former bosses was from Hiawatha, Kansas, which was the model for Archie’s Riverdale.

  313. jim, some guy in iowa
    August 22nd, 2013 at 7:49 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#284): a long time ago I watched MuchMusic on the satellite. I remember seeing Sarah MacLachlan and Celine Dion before they became big (and then jokes) in the US, Sloan and The Tragically Hip, thinking they would become big (and being wrong) and lots of stuff – like Carole Pope, who I’d forgotten, and lots of other cool Canadian acts that I just kinda knew would never be big here. It was great – way more fun than MTV, and I can still name all the vjs (which worries me a bit, now)

  314. Sequitur
    August 22nd, 2013 at 7:51 pm [Reply]

    @Casey, Crime Photographer (#308):

    And on page 9 of the story there’s a colorist error where Archie has blonde hair.

    Color monkey problems have always been with us.

  315. Mr. O'Malley
    August 22nd, 2013 at 7:52 pm [Reply]

    @The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan (#310): I still see churches selling cookbooks for fundraisers. Sometimes it can be interesting if the recipes go back to people’s grandmothers.

    I think people buy them as gifts for other people, because they know that it’s something you don’t already have, if you live somewhere else.

  316. Sequitur
    August 22nd, 2013 at 7:53 pm [Reply]

    @Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist (#309):

    So, it’s okay to con a spider?

  317. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    August 22nd, 2013 at 7:56 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#93): This Tumblr is like Squee Central—right up your alley!

  318. Sequitur
    August 22nd, 2013 at 7:57 pm [Reply]

    @The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan (#310):

    So, this could be a good fundraiser?

  319. Sequitur
    August 22nd, 2013 at 8:02 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#317):

    Wow! The cute little tiny lemur is climbing a smurf penis.

  320. Sgt.Stoned
    August 22nd, 2013 at 8:03 pm [Reply]

    MT: Dinosaurs battling each other! This may be the best “Mark Trail” story line ever!

    A3G: I can forsee a plethora of letters to the editor at every newspaper that carries this pathetic strip: “How dare you mention cigarette smoking on the comics page that my precious children peruse every day. Please cancel my subscription.”

  321. Poteet
    August 22nd, 2013 at 8:10 pm [Reply]

    S-M: Gaaaah, it’s the dainty floating blue ribbons again!! Worst. Superhero. Fashion. Statement. Ever.

  322. Mr. Yezpitelok
    August 22nd, 2013 at 8:10 pm [Reply]

    Todd the Dinosaur: Someone needs to tell Popeye’s “Poopdeck Pappy” to change his name.

  323. Sequitur
    August 22nd, 2013 at 8:11 pm [Reply]

    @Sgt.Stoned (#320):

    On A3G comment: And here she is.

    And here’s her kid.

  324. The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan
    August 22nd, 2013 at 8:11 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#318): On the right cold winter night…

  325. Poteet
    August 22nd, 2013 at 8:11 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#93): Now that’s the kind of delicate blue I like.

  326. Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist
    August 22nd, 2013 at 8:17 pm [Reply]

    @316. Sequitur

    Well, as long as you tape your trunk to your chest, wear a cap pulled down low to hide your ears, and make sure your tail’s tucked into your pants.

    I’d say the tusks will be fine. The spider will just assume you’re a walrus.

  327. Mr. Yezpitelok
    August 22nd, 2013 at 8:25 pm [Reply]

    Family Circus: “I worked as a piano player in a whorehouse. As a matter of fact, that’s how I met your grandmother.”

  328. Mr O'Malley
    August 22nd, 2013 at 8:36 pm [Reply]

    @The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan (#89): The book I mentioned is:
    Ken McGoogan
    Ancient Mariner: The Amazing Adventures of Samuel Hearne, the Sailor Who Walked to the Arctic Ocean

  329. Flonatin of Bologna
    August 22nd, 2013 at 8:40 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#284): Barely remember Rough Trade – that was more for my older brothers. I’m more of the Gowan era.

  330. Readem and Laf
    August 22nd, 2013 at 8:41 pm [Reply]

    Spiderman and GRAVITY

    Fine, Spiderman & friend are swinging towards earth while tethered to a tall building. If the webbing is shorter than the height of the building, the will slam into the side of the building with almost all the energy they would have hit the ground. They’d upset office workers too.

    If the web length is longer than the height of the building, they hit the ground or people/orphans/hospitals/school groups/… hard while moving sideways as well as down.

    Better reel that web in fast Spidey!

  331. Flonatin of Bologna
    August 22nd, 2013 at 8:42 pm [Reply]

    @Casey, Crime Photographer (#301): Scary thing: I know I’ve read the black eye comic before, and probably the one about the heat, too. Oh, my childhood home with the infinite Archie digests.

  332. The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan
    August 22nd, 2013 at 9:00 pm [Reply]

    @Mr O’Malley (#328): Looks interesting, though I’m more partial to Shackleton.

  333. commodorejohn
    August 22nd, 2013 at 9:06 pm [Reply]

    @Flonatin of Bologna (#331): Truly, you were a fellow of infinite digest.

  334. Alison
    August 22nd, 2013 at 9:06 pm [Reply]

    @Joel Bryan (#306):
    I think the outcome will be that Kristy somehow saves the day because she has another one of those “great ideas” she was always coming up with. (Although I was always skeptical of how many “great ideas” she really had; it seemed everything that came out of Kristy’s mouth was agreed to be a “great idea” by her friends.)

  335. Droopy Says
    August 22nd, 2013 at 9:37 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#321): What’s really pathetic about The Tarantula’s ribbons is that they aren’t streaming behind him in, as you’d expect while falling through the air at high speed, especially after making a prodigious sideways leap to get so far from the plummeting helicopters. Meanwhile, I hope the high-rise is a hospital. Impact damage aside, The Tarantula will need help for the dislocated shoulder he’ll get as Spiderman yanks him around.

  336. jim, some guy in iowa
    August 22nd, 2013 at 9:43 pm [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#335): the Tarantula needs to have his head examined for having called on Spiderman for help in the first place

  337. Artist formerly known as Ben
    August 22nd, 2013 at 9:50 pm [Reply]

    S-M: Spidey let Gwen Stacey die like this, and Tarantula isn’t nearly as hot. (Or is he?)

    A3G: “Hey Marty, want a bad girl signifier?”
    “No thanks. I have to get to school play rehearsal. I landed the part of Liz Lemon.”

  338. Artist formerly known as Ben
    August 22nd, 2013 at 9:51 pm [Reply]

    MT: Wait, “Slumber Mountain”? I’m pretty sure the dinosaur fights are just here to distract us from the free-floating narcotics.

    FW: “Not only that, but the sex tapes have to stop too. I spent four hours reviewing them last night and I have to say I am disgusted.”

    Crock: Paying attention to what?

    Archie: When Betty gets a haircut, even her friends don’t recognize her, referring to her as “that girl.” She’s got a future in confidence grifting.

    Baldo: Baldo likes to get shat on?

    JP: Abbey silently crosses off all known UN employees from the guest list of her next Christmas party.

    RMMD: This isn’t really a surprise. Translate “In the right place at the right time” into Latin and you have the motto on the Morgan family crest.

    DT: “Okay, start by telling me while you’re dressed like a member of Vanity 6.”

    Phantom: An even older jungle saying is, “Todd DiLaMuca’s noogies can’t compare to ghost who walks.”

    FC: Ah for the days when there would have been a 10 hour factory job to keep Billy out of Grandpa’s hair.

    SFx: Oh sure Mr. Fish, you’re a big shot now. Just wait until the cat returns with a few of his hungry friends.

  339. Mr O'Malley
    August 22nd, 2013 at 9:53 pm [Reply]

    @The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan (#332): This is 150 years earlier than Shackleton. Hearn had quite an amazing life, interesting in its own right, and the author makes a good argument that he was an influence on Coleridge, who is known to have had a copy of his book. He also addressed Coleridge’s school when STC was a pupil. “The Three Graves” was another work that shows influences from Hearn, who was something of an anthropologist as well as an explorer.

  340. Artist formerly known as Ben
    August 22nd, 2013 at 9:58 pm [Reply]

    @Sgt.Stoned (#320): As far as A3G goes, I’m still amazed the Dick Tracy crew can portray Sam Catchem lighting one off of another, him being a good guy even, and not get dropped en masse.

  341. Droopy Says
    August 22nd, 2013 at 10:06 pm [Reply]

    @jim, some guy in iowa (#336): I’m waiting for the Big Reveal when The Tarantula finds out that his sister is secretly working for the Costa Verdean dictatorship. Until them I’m going to ponder his name. In Spanish, “Tarantula” is a feminine noun. Does he call himself “La Tarantula,” and endure the sort of misunderstanding known to Chareth Cutestory and other male ‘mudges? Does he call himself “El Tarantula” or “El Tarantulo,” only to face criticism from Los Nazis Grammaticos? Or is he “The Tarantula,” and resigned to explaining his Anglo name in a Latino world?

  342. Beetle Bumstead
    August 22nd, 2013 at 10:08 pm [Reply]

    @Digger (#7):
    Yeh? So is Mr Plugger!

  343. Sequitur
    August 22nd, 2013 at 10:16 pm [Reply]

    Is Uncle Lumpy still awake? Look above.

  344. Artist formerly known as Ben
    August 22nd, 2013 at 10:19 pm [Reply]

    @Ratiocinator (#11):

    9CL: Why the hell does it matter to the outcome of this trial whether they buried Edda’s dress or not?!

    Given that the only authority in the trial is Thorax harrumphing “Blah blah blah GUILTY!” anything that catches his numbnuts interest determines the outcome of the trial.

    What the shit is this?!!

    The question contains its own answer.

  345. Artist formerly known as Ben
    August 22nd, 2013 at 10:20 pm [Reply]

    @louis vuitton handbags sale (#343): That was… intense. Intensely what I’m not sure.

  346. jim, some guy in iowa
    August 22nd, 2013 at 10:20 pm [Reply]

    @louis vuitton handbags sale (#343): don’t mean to bust your chops, but that’s a really lousy summary of the last six months of 9 Chickweed Lane

  347. jim, some guy in iowa
    August 22nd, 2013 at 10:24 pm [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#341): regarding how the Tarantula explains his name to his fellow south americans: he shrugs, says “Stan Lee” and they say, “aaaahh, *now* we understand – it’s not your fault”

  348. Chip Whittle
    August 22nd, 2013 at 10:30 pm [Reply]

    @louis vuitton handbags sale (#343):

    In his ruling, the judge acknowledged that he experienced ade up [his] mind?about Clement?in this trial, thus believed the accused over the detective. The truth is, he went so much regarding point out that he believed Clement went into theatres or the main objective of finding a guy which will rub knees with her.

    Go home, McEldowney, you’re drunk.

  349. Artist formerly known as Ben
    August 22nd, 2013 at 10:40 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#52): Nice little composer, ‘e was.

  350. Huckleberry Fink
    August 22nd, 2013 at 10:44 pm [Reply]

    @louis vuitton handbags sale (#343): some guy named Charles Moy

    Any relation to Mary Worth’s Karen Moy?

  351. Joel Bryan
    August 22nd, 2013 at 10:45 pm [Reply]

    @Alison (#334):
    Or Mary Anne. Mary Anne breaks down crying at some point but then lashes out in a moment so surprising because it’s so very uncharacteristic of the BSC’s mildest, shyest member. This sobers up Claudia who gives up candy cigarettes and tempting diabetics to their deaths with sweets and buckles down to pass her English test (since she’s in her 30s and still in 9th grade). But Kristy takes credit for the whole thing since the BSC was her idea, therefore all ideas flowing from it are automatically trademarked and copyrighted to Kristin Amanda Thomas.

  352. Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist
    August 22nd, 2013 at 10:54 pm [Reply]

    @343. louis vuitton handbags sale

    “They feel theygranted
    me a dark eye, nevertheless they haven
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    jealous of Chicago Clement took the
    display within the road,”

    What I wouldn’t give to be able to write like you. A Nobble Prize for Littleture in your future is assured. Assured, I say!

  353. Joe Blevins
    August 22nd, 2013 at 10:56 pm [Reply]

    “Do you know what makes a Plugger drool?” Uh, I dunno. The crippling effects of time, I guess…?

  354. Huckleberry Fink
    August 22nd, 2013 at 11:03 pm [Reply]

    @Amos Snarkadder (#259): Now that the cat’s out of the bag, aren’t you going to wish your sister Tori Amos a Happy 50th Birthday?

  355. tallyHO
    August 22nd, 2013 at 11:05 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#321): @Droopy Says (#335): @jim, some guy in iowa (#336):

    I forget if I mentioned it yesterday or the day before but here goes repeating myself:

    Spider-Man has Spider-Sense.
    The Tarantula can get VHF/UHF TV signals with his well-worn, rabbit ears antenna.

  356. Droopy Says
    August 22nd, 2013 at 11:20 pm [Reply]

    Spide and Spider: A Tarantula isn’t helpless? At least his sense of whimsical irony survived slamming into that building. Now he can rappel into the alley between those adobe buildings and take a siesta. Or is it still night?

    Family Circus: Squeeze harder, Granny!

    Funky’s Flunkies: Lacking an actual joke, Batiuk decided to drop back and punt.

    Pluggers rub liniment into their fur? Wouldn’t the actual joke rambling words here be “Pluggers tell themselves that Ben Gay is really Greasy Kid Stuff?”

    Phantom: He needs to see the Jungle Patrol? I’m so glad that Stripey Butt brought along his own chorus line. This strip begs for some good show tunes.

    Mark Trail: We know it sees you, Rusty. There’s no other reason for that goofy grin.

  357. Droopy Says
    August 22nd, 2013 at 11:23 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#356): No, those ribbons are like the tail on a kite, because, um, insert lazy joke about “being higher than a kite.” (See? I can make precisely as much effort to be entertaining as whoever did this strip.)

  358. Alison
    August 22nd, 2013 at 11:27 pm [Reply]

    @Joel Bryan (#352):
    Yes! Perfect! And then, lastly, everyone makes fun of Mallory, because she has frizzy red hair and glasses and a big nose which she inherited from her grandfather.

    (Did you ever read the book where Mallory tries to join the BSC and the other girls snub her, and then the BSC is honestly surprised that they lose the Pikes-MALLORY’S FAMILY!!-as customers? Who on earth is that dumb?)

    I hope Tori is in the strip again tomorrow! It’s fun to look at her and see Claudia Kishi. But we’ll probably get stuck with another strip about LuAnn. I never read those because LuAnn’s genuine stupidity depresses me.

  359. Joel Bryan
    August 22nd, 2013 at 11:33 pm [Reply]

    @Alison (#359):
    Thanks! And perfect score on poor, poor Mal. Yes, I’ve read that one. I think Claudia is uncharacteristically cruel to Mallory in that book. Is this Mallory’s insecurity coming through?

    On a side note– I’ve also always thought the BSC relied on the Pikes when business was slow. I mean that family had about 20 kids, didn’t they? They were probably always looking to fob one or more of them off for an afternoon or evening.

    Yeah, I hope Tori/Claud shows up again tomorrow!

  360. Huckleberry Fink
    August 22nd, 2013 at 11:45 pm [Reply]

    @Mr. Yezpitelok (#31):

    Having sex with a bossy woman isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be!

    You had sex with Kristy Thomas?

  361. Gladly, the cross-eyed bear
    August 22nd, 2013 at 11:55 pm [Reply]

    “Vintage” Beetle: Miss Buxley’s predecessor was named Pvt. Stack. That Mort Walker was one subtle dude.

  362. bats :[
    August 22nd, 2013 at 11:55 pm [Reply]

    Friday’s RMMD: for the life of me, I thought June was attributing Sarah’s enthusiasm and precociousness to the English Navy (there’s nothing quite like sodomy, rum and the lash).

  363. Gladly, the cross-eyed bear
    August 22nd, 2013 at 11:58 pm [Reply]

    MW: “I hope she finds some peace with her situation. Somehow and soon”
    “I hope so too!”
    “On the other hand, who gives a shit?”

  364. Joel Bryan
    August 23rd, 2013 at 12:00 am [Reply]

    @Huckleberry Fink (#361):
    Mellow-voiced Narrator of “Ken Burns’ The Baby-Sitters Club:” “And that was when parents turned against Scholastic’s popular series and demanded it be pulled from the shelves. Dark times had found Stoneybrook…”

  365. tallyHO
    August 23rd, 2013 at 12:22 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#358):
    Oh, alright.

    You gotta admit that since The Tarantula showed up, Spider-Man’s quest to flee danger hasn’t really sped up that much. Are they still at the airport? Is this some artsy Tom Hanks movie at this point?

    pant pant—the military…trying to kill me…pant pant–must make like a cockroach and flee! rats! I’m on the other side of the airport, no closer to freedom than when I stepped off the plane!

  366. tallyHO
    August 23rd, 2013 at 12:26 am [Reply]

    Heathcliff.

    That is all for now.

  367. tallyHO
    August 23rd, 2013 at 12:28 am [Reply]

    Shorter Mary Worth (aka the impossible summary):

    Mary:
    The B be cray cray!

    Shannon:
    True dat!

  368. Droopy Says
    August 23rd, 2013 at 12:36 am [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#366): I think Spide and Spider are away from the airport. They mentioned something about that the other day. Since they are now in motion, it must be time for some Manhattan Village scenes, with a distraught MJ and a deranged Jameson to tell us that nothing is happening there, either.

  369. tallyHO
    August 23rd, 2013 at 12:41 am [Reply]

    Mark Trail (and yes, I realize there is a popular truce on the strip for now):

    From the hit broadway musical: “Rusty in the Iron Age”

    Rusty can you hear me?

    Rusty can you see me?

    Rusty will you ride me home?

    I’ll be your bus, see,
    My pal Rusty
    Together we will grow wings
    and flyyyyyyyyyy!
    …………………………………..
    Hey, Mr. Dinosaur!
    I’m afraid you’ll make my tushy sore!
    So, I will politely decliiiiiiine!
    …………………………………..
    You don’t know what you’re missin’
    I would make your forehead glisten.
    If only you would listen
    To the yearning of your heaaaaaart!
    …………………………………..(slows down)
    Perhaps that’s true, my extinct friend.
    We all thought your days would never end!
    And yet here you are offering me a riiiiiide!
    Mommy and Marky Mark,
    told me to avoid strangers in the park
    especially after dark, as i am now very
    unconsiouuuuuuuus!
    …………………………………..
    But, I am just a vegetarian
    searching for a com-panion!
    My arms are too small to pick up
    and carrion man.
    (though young puppets are a
    make a paaaaaaaart!)
    ….
    See here, Mr. Dinosaur,
    I really am quite a bore!
    Are you sure you’re not an omnivore?
    And why are you droooooooooooooooo
    LLing?

    You can’t even shut your yap.
    That makes me thing you have a trap
    I don’t need a detailed map
    To know you loooooooost me!
    ………………………………….
    Oh, Rusty Dear, oh Rusty Pal!
    You were born with a caul
    For you see your future death
    is my mouth.
    For I will eaaaaaaaat you!

    Chase, Dinosaur, if you can
    I run as fast as a gingerman
    And as you can see I’m one step ahead.
    I’m gingery, just gaze upon my head!
    ……………………….
    Are you saying that is not a ketchup dollop?
    Now, I’m embarrassed and feel like a bar food
    trollop.
    So, I’ll slow my roll to a gallop.
    And, let you live, live, live to see another
    predator the next daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
    aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
    aaaaaay!

    (duet: Rusty and Comic Strip Dinosaur!)

  370. tallyHO
    August 23rd, 2013 at 12:55 am [Reply]

    Heathcliff:
    In musical terms is a “PURRRRR” a vibrato?

  371. Dale
    August 23rd, 2013 at 2:31 am [Reply]

    MARK TRAIL

    There are some (I can’t divulge their names) who think the T-Rex was not a predator, but a scavenger. How does this make you feel?

  372. Alison
    August 23rd, 2013 at 2:46 am [Reply]

    @Joel Bryan (#360):
    Mal’s family had eight kids, I think. I remember there were triplets, a nerdy boy, a girl who barfed all the time, a girl who wrote poems, the baby of the family, and Mallory. And yeah, the Pikes were constantly dumping the younger kids on the BSC, which makes it doubly stupid that the BSC members would be mean to their older kid. The BSC should have been kissing Mallory’s ass all the time!

  373. Droopy Says
    August 23rd, 2013 at 2:47 am [Reply]

    @Dale (#372): It’s hard to say, because this is a dream sequence. But a dream where Rusty is eaten is a true nightmare, and if the T. Rex wakes up with indigestion, he’ll swear off pizza and beer forever.

  374. Cloudbuster
    August 23rd, 2013 at 3:45 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#374): It wasn’t smoking that killed the dinosaurs, it was junk food!

  375. Liam
    August 23rd, 2013 at 4:41 am [Reply]

    MT-Oh non! Rusty is reverting to his feral form in the last panel.

    MW-”And by somehow I mean by my divine hand and by soon I mean soon.”

    Spiderman-”I’ll find some innocent window washer and throw him off his cart thingy to his death and steal the cart.”

    A3G-”We can go to this store I know and buy a really big soda.”

    A3G 2-Invoke some controversy will you. Why not have your mom out with her stupid girlfriend.

    Crankshaft-Purr like a cat. Purr like a cat.

    Gil Thorp-You fixed his Alzheimer’s. It’s a miracle.

    JP-Abbey is offering you something warm and moist to eat and you’re passing it up? For shame.

    Zits-Couldn’t they at least clean up the pig a bit? Killing it is one thing but to still have everything is another.

  376. John C Fremont
    August 23rd, 2013 at 5:14 am [Reply]

    @louis vuitton handbags sale (#343): COTW!!

    JP – I keep hearing Abbey saying “Go ahead” in Arnold Horshack’s voice. “Ga ‘head.” I hear this. In my head. I’m getting help. Sharing circle. Shannon. Freeze ray. Tell your friends.

  377. Calico
    August 23rd, 2013 at 5:39 am [Reply]

    @jim, some guy in iowa (#313):
    That’s really neat, Jim! The good old days.
    I have always liked T Hip-I have their CD “Phantom Power”, and I was a big BNL fan until they kind of lost a bit of panache after Steven left the band.
    Oh, and I like “Great Big Sea” too.

  378. Calico
    August 23rd, 2013 at 5:42 am [Reply]

    @John C Fremont (#377):
    “Go ahead, I’ll jump all over you in a few hours!”
    Whereas, Mary is jumping all over Shannon right now.

  379. gleeb
    August 23rd, 2013 at 5:58 am [Reply]

    Bizarro-Tomorrow do we get to see them killing Burmese Muslims?

    ‘bean-Well, it’s not the same gag back for a third appearance in as many days. But it’s a pun so bad no one even bothers to smirk. Bets Owen the Idiot has his wool hat on under that helmet?

    Mark-Well, “sees” is a verb. No action yet, but at least we have a verb.

    Mutts-“Shmight”? Can I talk to your manager?

    Phantom-“Phantom extradites without foreign permission”*

    Spidey-“Well, I can sense danger from anything but bricks. How ’bout you?”

    Dick-We already know this. Can’t you just have a “Mysta explained her earliest memories to Tracy” narration box?

    Thorp-Has this all been an elaborate ruse so an old man could beat the tar out of Gil with impunity? The fact that that’s plausible is why I read Gil Thorp.

    H&J-Rev. Hepcat is only just getting around to reading the scriptures.

    *Old Bangallan Legal Proverb

  380. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    August 23rd, 2013 at 6:13 am [Reply]

    @Dale (#372):

    Nobody really believes the straw carnivore argument that T-Rex was a pure scavenger. Sure, it would scavenge a target of opportunity, but that dentition didn’t evolve to pick at carcasses, as proved by findings of T-Rex teeth left behind in living prey that escaped and lived long enough for the bite wound to heal.

    http://phenomena.nationalgeographic.com/2013/07/16/time-to-slay-the-t-rex-scavenger-debate/

  381. Droopy Says
    August 23rd, 2013 at 7:09 am [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#381): That scavenger/hunter issue puts Rusty in an interesting position. If T. rex is a hunter, he should play to his strength and lie there; the alternative is to die tired after giving the carnivore some welcome exercise. If the dinosaur is a scavenger, then he should run; of course, scavengers are likely to be found near predators, so they can glean their leftovers, which means he might run into a predator anyway. And if T. rex is a bit of both? Well, for Rusty, it will be just another day at the Comics Curmudgeon.

  382. Joel Bryan
    August 23rd, 2013 at 8:07 am [Reply]

    @Alison (#373):
    Ah, the barfy Pike! The only thing I’m disappointed at here is this Claudia is wearing a plain white shirt. That’s either her painting smock or she’s about to head home and decorate it with her own hand-painted designs of palm trees and Hershey bars.

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