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Obey Mary or she will ERASE YOU FROM EXISTENCE BY SHEER FORCE OF WILL

Mary Worth, 8/29/13

Sorry I haven’t been keeping you up to date on eleven riveting days of vague worries about Shannon’s job, but here, let me sum them up for you: ever since Shannon enraged Aggie during a talk group, she’s been worried that Aggie will complain and get her fired — despite the fact that we’ve seen no evidence that she’s getting pressure from her bosses, or that she would be at all expected to be some kind of qualified talk-group leader, since she was first introduced to us as the teacher for Mary’s yoga class. Being a yoga teacher and being a therapist are not the same things, just for the record!

But anyway, Mary is determined to save Shannon’s job by any means necessary. Those means apparently include undermining the ontological structures that define the very nature of reality for the managers of Pax Wellness Resort. “Those policies that you think you have, that say the customer is always right? Those policies are false. They do not exist. Everywhere in the handbook where you see it written is a lie. Avert your eyes from it and blot it out with the darkest ink, lest your mind become unclean with falsehood.

Gil Thorp, 8/29/13

Why has it been so long since the Mudlarks have won a championship in any sport? Maybe it has something to do with Gil and Kaz’s scouting techniques, which seem to consist of wandering the school’s corridors at random looking for big dudes. Today’s strip reminds one of 1 Samuel 9, when the prophet Samuel spots Saul son of Abiel — “From his shoulders and upward he was higher than any of the people” — and immediately hears the word of the LORD in his ear instructing him to anoint the man Israel’s first king. That ended up working out super for everyone concerned, so surely this mysterious hulking shadow will do great on the offensive line or whatever.

Pluggers, 8/29/13

We simply cannot emphasize enough that pluggers are wholly uninterested in sex.

295 responses to “Obey Mary or she will ERASE YOU FROM EXISTENCE BY SHEER FORCE OF WILL”

  1. Gasoline Alley Oop
    August 29th, 2013 at 7:22 am [Reply]

    Today is POP Day* in the comics…

    Dogs of C-Kennel: A “PO” AND an Atomic Wedgie — I’m impressed.

    OBH: Earl was pissed on by Marmaduke, but at least he lived to tell the tale.

    * “Piss on People Day”!

  2. Gasoline Alley Oop
    August 29th, 2013 at 7:28 am [Reply]

    Mary’s talking pen is a Gift from the Gods*

    *Her neighbors back at Charterstone, Sid and Gladys God.

  3. Downpuppy
    August 29th, 2013 at 7:32 am [Reply]

    I’m not too up on Lord of the Rings characters. Is that an elf in Gil Thorp, panel 2, and what role do giants have?

  4. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    August 29th, 2013 at 7:35 am [Reply]

    @Downpuppy (#3): giants are mentioned in passing in The Hobbit, but are not further described or mentioned in LotR.

  5. KreatureFeatures
    August 29th, 2013 at 7:35 am [Reply]

    Mary Worth: “In closing, I would like to pose another rhetorical question, perhaps the most important one of our modern times: Who let the dogs out?”

    Gil Thorp: Clearly the big lug is deaf, and this fall’s football storyline will be in regards to the accommodations that must be made for a player with disabilities. That, plus a short digression about men who wear skorts.

    Love Is: The bald spot she should be worried about is a little farther south.

  6. Chareth Cutestory
    August 29th, 2013 at 7:35 am [Reply]

    Gil Thorp: Drawing school coaches’ athletic short shorts from an overhead perspective rates at a difficulty level of 11. New artists, please be careful when approaching this subject.

  7. Ratiocinator
    August 29th, 2013 at 7:38 am [Reply]

    ASM: I’m sorry, guy-with-the-scar, but can you repeat that? I couldn’t concentrate on what you were saying due to being distracted by the fact that you seem to have put your hair into a single pigtail on your left side without a matching one on your right.

    Oh, you were saying that Spider-Man wouldn’t be of any use? Okay, questionable taste in hairstyles aside, you’re probably right.

    Luann: See, it’s moments like this that in spite of myself make me hope that maybe the Evanses are finally going to stop abusing Tiffany, only for those hopes to inevitably be torn apart at the molecular level.

    RMMD: “I’m not sure what that means, in terms of the universe and whether its laws of probability are still in effect. I mean, is this really happening? This can’t really be happening, can it? We can’t seriously be discussing a lucrative book deal for our five-year-old daughter–however precocious she may be–accompanied by a publicity tour and other obligations she’ll be required by law to fulfill, right? I’ll grant you that this isn’t as surreal or stupid as what I read in 9 Chickweed Lane the other day, but it’s still pretty ridiculous!”

  8. pugfuggly
    August 29th, 2013 at 7:38 am [Reply]

    MW: so how is this more efficient than simply walking down the hall and telling them all this instead? On the upside, I can’t wait to seethe spa manager’s reaction when he realizes that the letter is COMING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE!!!

  9. sporknpork
    August 29th, 2013 at 7:39 am [Reply]

    Mary looks as though she’s about to pass out from writing that letter like a blood-deprived Sideshow Bob, but a simple tug from that pullstring dangling from her back in panel one will provide us hours of endless… entertainment?

  10. Liam
    August 29th, 2013 at 7:40 am [Reply]

    Spiderman-Sounds like somebody is genre savy.

    Spiderman 2-Sounds like somebody has been following this series quite well.

    FC-”I need an old priest and a young priest.”

    Gil Thorp-Buy the guy a couple of drinks and then tackle him.

    Gil Thorp 2-Shortly later the sound of gunshots rang through the school

    Love Is-Put some of his stray hairs on another bald spot of his.

    MT-This is the most that I have heard the word ‘elk’ being used.

    MW-Shannon’s also a drunk who beats her wife but she doesn’t let customers know that.

    JP-”And for helping the plucky natives they can reward us riches.”

    Pluggers-I guess Pluggers are too old for the other afternoon delight.

    Slylock Fox-I don’t know. They all sound pretty terrible to me.

  11. Braniff
    August 29th, 2013 at 7:40 am [Reply]

    FC: If PJ vomits–”PJ vomits. Therefore he is our dog Barfy”

  12. Missal
    August 29th, 2013 at 7:41 am [Reply]

    MW: After Mary gets outmeddled in the talk group, she closes herself up in her room and meddles in something else entirely … BY MAIL.

    As Don Draper would say, “If you don’t like what is being said, then run into your room and have a different conversation with someone you’ve never met by writing an elaborate and overly worded letter.”

  13. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    August 29th, 2013 at 7:42 am [Reply]

    RMMD – Another snag as a result of letting your business plan be written by underpants gnomes. How does sending a 5YO out to do magazine interviews lead to patrons coming into the art museum? Is her work featured at the museum? If so, is that really an endorsement of the museum?

    Let’s say she is an amazing prodigy, producing art at an 8th-grade level. Will the readers exclaim “Wow, these horsie pictures with cocks and boobs drawn on them are just incredible! Say, why don’t we go to the art museum and see some more boobs!”?

  14. The Grandstander
    August 29th, 2013 at 7:44 am [Reply]

    It looks like “the elk” are going to be central to the next Mark Trail story line.

  15. Mibbitmaker
    August 29th, 2013 at 7:45 am [Reply]

    GT: And once again a drama strip is much funnier than any actual humor strip.

    GT: The last shot is from said big kid’s point of view.

    Pluggers: Starland Vocal Bland.
    Also, sorry I couldn’t think of a decent Arrested Development reference…

    MW: “…However, the guest is always right when that guest is ME. Do not forget!!! Signed, Mary Worth.”

  16. pugfuggly
    August 29th, 2013 at 7:47 am [Reply]

    GT: Guys, next time you’re hanging out in the halls checking out young athletes, try to add ‘for football’ at the end of your sentences. I’m just saying that some of what you’re saying could be misconstrued.

  17. Here come the Judge
    August 29th, 2013 at 7:48 am [Reply]

    I hope hope hope that Kaz is actually saying “POOP form” in Gil Thorp. Because, you know, poop is funny- certainly a lot funnier than any Gil Thorp strip has ever been.

  18. Beetle Bumstead
    August 29th, 2013 at 7:49 am [Reply]

    GT: Kaz’s index finger seems a little low to be referring to the prospective passer’s height. If the young man heard Kaz’s plea in panel 2, it might have sounded to his ears like a pickup line from a size queen.

  19. Veiltender
    August 29th, 2013 at 7:51 am [Reply]

    As a pedantic note from biblical scholar, Saul is the son of Kish, rather than Abiel.

  20. Mibbitmaker
    August 29th, 2013 at 7:52 am [Reply]

    @Liam (#10): re: MT: Unless it’s a certain Python sketch featuring Anne Elk (*ee-heem*…)

    “a Python sketch” doesn’t mean a task TRMT does for Jack Elrod (necessarily).

  21. Lumaca Morente
    August 29th, 2013 at 7:56 am [Reply]

    Beetle Bailey enjoys the Pax Wellness retreat.

    Also, in Jump Start, an inside joke for Philadelphia-area readers: Cobb’s Creek is the name of a Philadelphia neighborhood.

  22. Tom, the Sailor Man
    August 29th, 2013 at 7:56 am [Reply]

    GT – Based on the dialogue in panel one I think Gil and Kaz are setting up a casting call for a new porn video.

  23. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 29th, 2013 at 7:57 am [Reply]

    Zits:
    There’s a lady who knows
    Yellow submarines that go
    Finding the DNA to heaven.

    I have the same problem with my…

  24. Not Just any Dipstick
    August 29th, 2013 at 7:57 am [Reply]

    GT: Why do those two keep winking at each other? Vedddddy interesting. (Silly German accent used). Nudge, Nudge. oh, oh mixing references now. I need a nap.

  25. Lumaca Morente
    August 29th, 2013 at 7:59 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#23): We’re still doing this? (Sorry, I was away yesterday)

  26. Esther Blodgett
    August 29th, 2013 at 7:59 am [Reply]

    GT: Has Gil been reading my diary? And for the record, Kaz, no, not at all like your index finger.

  27. Not Just any Dipstick
    August 29th, 2013 at 8:01 am [Reply]

    GT: Besides the vertigo from the vertical perspective, why are they both wearing ballet slippers? Oh, and keep yer hands off my shoulder big guy. People will notice.

  28. Shran
    August 29th, 2013 at 8:01 am [Reply]

    Pluggers: For once, I’m going to give this strip some credit. I’m perfectly happy not knowing anything about the Pluggers’ sex lives, thank you very much.

  29. The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan
    August 29th, 2013 at 8:04 am [Reply]

    Ziggy‘s news station breaks down the day’s stories by sexual perspective. Good to know.

  30. Mikey
    August 29th, 2013 at 8:05 am [Reply]

    ASM-
    SM: Thanks for that rousing vote of confidence pal.
    Hairy guy: No, seriously, I read your comic in the USA papers. Tarantula! We are in grave danger!

  31. Sam C
    August 29th, 2013 at 8:06 am [Reply]

    Gil and Kaz have clearly never seen Japanese frightfest ‘The Grudge’, or they would be a lot more cautious about attracting the attention of mysterious black blobs.

  32. The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan
    August 29th, 2013 at 8:09 am [Reply]

    The Family Circus: Yes yes, it should be “swivel,” not “swizzle,” betraying Dolly’s tendency toward malapropism. But what I want to know is, if Grandpa’s dunking his chair, just how big is his drink, exactly?[*]

  33. Digger
    August 29th, 2013 at 8:10 am [Reply]

    MW: I’m hoping it will turn out that the Pax Wellness Resort never existed and that this whole episode has been a demented vision Mary’s been having as she wanders deliriously through the desert. That would be Christmas come early.

    Plugs: Yeah, humping a chicken in ther middle of the day just ain’t what it used to be, right Mr. Dog?

  34. Little Blue Bicycle
    August 29th, 2013 at 8:12 am [Reply]

    @KreatureFeatures (#5): “In another conclusion, as the American philosopher Henry Gross once wrote:
    “‘Shannon is gone I hope she’s drifting out to sea
    She always loved to swim away
    Maybe she’ll find an island with a shady tree
    Just like the one in our backyard.’”

  35. Mikey
    August 29th, 2013 at 8:12 am [Reply]

    MT- Gotta be a Bigfoot frightening the elk. Or a sideburned dope farmer in a Bigfoot suit scaring the elk from his pot field???!!! …Or did Elrod already do that one?

  36. Ratiocinator
    August 29th, 2013 at 8:15 am [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#25): Hey, we can’t help it if our pants have problems! Blame the pants-makers, not us!

  37. The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan
    August 29th, 2013 at 8:17 am [Reply]

    The Lockhorns: Make comparisons to a terrifying Burbermaw if you like, but somebody’s excited about getting butt-dialed by her husband. It’s not Loretta, if that’s any help.

  38. Mr. Yezpitelok
    August 29th, 2013 at 8:20 am [Reply]

    @Odie Odo (#y338): Dennis: Mom passes sentence on Ruff — he’s being sent to the local animal shelter. And he’s going directly to the gas chamber since no one wants to adopt such an old dog (60 in human years/420 in dog years).

    If Lynn Johnston were writing DtM, Ruff would die while saving Mr. Wilson from a raging river.

  39. Rusty
    August 29th, 2013 at 8:21 am [Reply]

    I miss the glory days of Gil Thorp, before he became a bro.

  40. bbofun
    August 29th, 2013 at 8:22 am [Reply]

    9CL- Aaaaaand the last panel nicely sums up everyone’s feelings about this storyline.

    FW- It’s funny because “Sprawlmart” sounds like “Walmart” and this teacher’s hopes are crushed!

  41. Kevin on Earth
    August 29th, 2013 at 8:24 am [Reply]

    ASM: Is there any chance the tarantula’s sister’s name is Shannon and scarface is disappointed because the wrong american comic strip superhero appeared from behind the door? “Now THIS American, this Mary Worth, SHE can help us”

  42. Dennis Jimenez
    August 29th, 2013 at 8:25 am [Reply]

    MW – My theory is Mary had Jack’s ashes and urn turned into a table lamp to light her way….

    GT – My first quick read was, “It’s poop form to go tackle him.” The strip made more sense to me with that mis-reading. Now I’m totally lost….

    Pluggers – I beg to differ, Josh – my take is our dog-man-plugger, has just finished beating off….

    Adios Amigos, DJ.

  43. bbofun
    August 29th, 2013 at 8:26 am [Reply]

    Oh, and for anyone who does not understand that clowns are evil personified, may I suggest reading this- http://www.buzzfeed.com/briangalindo/12-horrifying-photos-of-french-clowns-from-1900-1930s

    Not safe for Baka Gaijan, obviously.

  44. Mr. Yezpitelok
    August 29th, 2013 at 8:33 am [Reply]

    @Señor Wences (#y345): The Mexican Warner Brothers were Enrique, Alberto, Samuél and Gato.

    Those are four of the Seven Dwarfs. The other three are: Tontin, Grunon and Estornudon.

  45. Perky Bird
    August 29th, 2013 at 8:35 am [Reply]

    Today’s Mark Trail storyline is recycled directly from an early 60′s plot. Except back then, they said “black people” instead of “elk,” and “the ‘hood” instead of “the forest.”

  46. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 29th, 2013 at 8:35 am [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#25): Are you accusing me of cheating?! The past is never dead. It is not even past. Life is brutal.

    // That reminds me of Dave, with his inflatable coccyx. I have the same problem with my pants.

  47. TheDiva
    August 29th, 2013 at 8:40 am [Reply]

    MW: “The customer is not always right. I alone am infallible.”

    Pluggers enjoy their lives of unrelenting tedium.

  48. Amos Snarkadder
    August 29th, 2013 at 8:42 am [Reply]

    @bbofun (#43): Yikes!

  49. Écureuil Écumant
    August 29th, 2013 at 8:42 am [Reply]

    MW: Does Mary even know whether a complaint was made to management? Plenty of folks have been pink-slipped because someone wrote “Please don’t hold this person’s mistake against him”, and nobody in the front office had even been aware of the mistake. The Law of Unintended Consequences can be a beeyotch.

  50. Écureuil Écumant
    August 29th, 2013 at 8:44 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#23): Your submarine is yellow? Time to recheck your bilirubin and enzymes.

  51. Master Softheart
    August 29th, 2013 at 8:45 am [Reply]

    Gil Thorp: I admit that I’m surprised; now that gay marriage has been normalized and “Don’t ask, don’t tell” repealed, gym coaches apparently feel free to roam around campus and openly scout sexual conquests among their students, discussing their physical merits with Spartan candor. His wish list includes depth and, most of all, size, indeed.

    And to think that I laughed when Rick Santorum tried to warn the nation that this would happen…

  52. Amos Snarkadder
    August 29th, 2013 at 8:46 am [Reply]

    MW I don’t think it’s a wise strategy to attack a business’s “presumed” policy. I think it might be better to stick to the “there was a terrible misunderstanding” approach, and back it up with witnesses. Or just kill Aggie and make it look like suicide.

  53. Walker of Dog
    August 29th, 2013 at 8:47 am [Reply]

    MT: The Lost Forest moose population is seeking new representation.

    GT: Quiet, you two! He’s in the ceiling…

    MW: Mary always chooses her words carefully, taking all night to write a question, an answer and two declarative sentences.

    RMMD: Ms. Lanning smiles politely, confident that Rex’s lawyer will never find the Devil’s loophole.

    AS-M: I like how the freedom fighter with the wannbe-Tori hairdo speaks English to make sure Peter catches the insult.

    A3G: When Lu Ann gets agitated, her breathing accelerates and her shoulders expand and contract.

  54. Amos Snarkadder
    August 29th, 2013 at 8:50 am [Reply]

    A3G LuAnn, you fool! Never, ever call Margo ridiculous! Have you learned nothing?
    (Tomorrow: Margo goes all T. Rex on LuAnn’s ass!)

  55. Écureuil Écumant
    August 29th, 2013 at 8:50 am [Reply]

    @Amos Snarkadder (#52): “Just kill Aggie and make it look like suicide.”

    Here, Aggie, why don’t you take the rest of this pink cake home with you. No, seriously, we’re all stuffed and I don’t have any room in my fridge.

  56. jim, some guy in iowa
    August 29th, 2013 at 8:51 am [Reply]

    FW: another real problem “dealt with” by self righteous moping and smirking and then dropped

    MT: What *is* Lost Forest, exactly? Private property? State or national park? (I mean, aside from a place where the trees have dialogue)

    Heathcliff: those are not normal cats. not enough yowling

    Judge Parker: it is going to be soooo cool when B. A. Baracus makes his cameo “pity the fool!”

    Rex, MD: make sure to have your lawyer strike the PED clause forbidding sugar and caffeine

    9CL: not as boring as you’ve made Shakespeare in your other venue for self pleasure, Mr McE

  57. TheDiva
    August 29th, 2013 at 8:54 am [Reply]

    9CL: The penny still not droppeth, eh Brooke?

    A3G: “It’s not a problem if I don’t understand it, right?”

    C’shaft: “Your attitude is positive, friendly, and cheerful. We don’t hold with that around here.”

    FW: On the Brad deGroot unemployment plan, I see.

    Luann: This week is just an excuse to draw the female cast in swimsuits, isn’t it?

    Pibgorn: We interrupt this Shakespearean play to bring you scenes of artistic onanism.

    SM: Hey, Rodrigo or Pepe or whatever his generic Hispanic name is calls it like he sees it.

  58. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 29th, 2013 at 8:55 am [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#13): …a result of letting your business plan be written by underpants gnomes.

    Can you lend me a pair of your underpants? Mine are still at the cleaners.

  59. eriqjaffe
    August 29th, 2013 at 8:56 am [Reply]

    Pluggers aren’t educated enough to even dream of spelling “Zzzzzz…” right.

  60. Esther Blodgett
    August 29th, 2013 at 8:56 am [Reply]

    Luann: A sweet and funny strip involving Tiffany and Ox? Did Evans get hit by a bus?

  61. jim, some guy in iowa
    August 29th, 2013 at 8:57 am [Reply]

    Phantom: is it “Bang-alla” or “Ban-galla”? Either way, Ted the failed drug pilot, with his debts no honest man can pay, should load up the family and head to Atlantic City

  62. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    August 29th, 2013 at 8:59 am [Reply]

    Frazz & R&R share the same basic joke.

    NAoQV: *snurk* oh, so true.

    SBp: /fail on so many levels.

    Zits: hey, if you’re gonna have a earworm, that’s a good one to have!

    Mutts: guest-starring Nancy.

    OBH: ewwwwwwww. (Marmaduke, perhaps?)

  63. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    August 29th, 2013 at 9:00 am [Reply]

    Love Is. . . .saved for future naughty GIMPing.

  64. Chip
    August 29th, 2013 at 9:01 am [Reply]

    Mary’s going all “Star Trek” on their ass! “The customer is NOT always right!” “I am a customer and I am right!”

    Illogical… does not compute… KAPOW!!!

  65. anonymous
    August 29th, 2013 at 9:02 am [Reply]

    9CL: As the strip lumbers on with its uninteresting drawn-out ‘trial’, can’t help but wonder what the BFD is over the wimmen wearing short skirts. As if the Power of the Short Skirt is a real ‘thing’. How BORING.

  66. Droopy Says
    August 29th, 2013 at 9:03 am [Reply]

    Bigporm: Oh, boy, another McEclowney “man” with a sword. Should I throw up now, or wait until Brooke makes the grave error of enhancing Juliet’s death?

  67. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    August 29th, 2013 at 9:05 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#58):

    I would, but I’ve suffered from a chronic shortage ever since I started having that trouble with my pants.

  68. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 29th, 2013 at 9:06 am [Reply]

  69. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 29th, 2013 at 9:10 am [Reply]

    CC turned from a NASCAR and sliderule fanblog to a discussion group for people having trouble with their pants so gradually…

  70. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    August 29th, 2013 at 9:10 am [Reply]

    RMMD – Rex will have his lawyer, Sam Driver review the contract. The meeting will take 8 hours. 15 seconds for Sam to flip through the pages with his thumb then declare that it looks good to him, then 7.99 hours while Sam and Rex sit and stare, each waiting for the other to get out their checkbook and write them a six-figure check.

  71. Lily Sincere
    August 29th, 2013 at 9:15 am [Reply]

    Mary has never worked in the high-end service industry, I’m guessing. It’s more likely that everyone who works at the spa has already pegged both Aggie and Mary as high maintenance guests and will ignore anything either of them has to say about Shannon or anything else.

    I bet by the end of day two of her stay, Mary got moved to a Wi-Fi deadzone next to the elevator “for your added convenience.” As for Aggie…they’re just making sure she drinks a lot of kava kava tea.

  72. geogreg
    August 29th, 2013 at 9:18 am [Reply]

    Heathcliff: NASA hasn’t performed a splashdown recovery since 1975, so I don’t know how this kid even knows the phrase. Unless he heard about the recent NASA-Navy training exercises, since the new Orion vehicle will land in the ocean.

    What I’m saying is that Heathcliff has been lapped by reality.

  73. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 29th, 2013 at 9:20 am [Reply]

    @Esther Blodgett (#60): “Want me to lift you up over my head and throw you in the pool?”

    I must say, that is one fine pickup line. I can’t imagine why I didn’t try that in my bachelor days.

    // Wait. Yes, I can. There are drawbacks to being attracted to full-figured women.

  74. geogreg
    August 29th, 2013 at 9:21 am [Reply]

    Heathcliff, 2: Gotta give credit though. At least the kid didn’t say “He really likes it when she kisses him,” which is the usual sort of response in this panel.

  75. Poteet
    August 29th, 2013 at 9:22 am [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#57): Re LUANN, how can you be so cynical? A bonfire or picnic would have been harder to draw, is all.

  76. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    August 29th, 2013 at 9:23 am [Reply]

    lolsnark and poster-directed squee:

    for bats :[.

    in LoFo, Rusty weeps.

    sneak peak at the next Donny Donkey tale.

    I never even considered this crossover, but it’s perfect.

    ummm, Sequitur? this is for you.

    enough little somethings for Poteet to share.

    for commodorejohn. (sfw, source tumblr includes nsfw images.)

  77. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    August 29th, 2013 at 9:23 am [Reply]

  78. Poteet
    August 29th, 2013 at 9:30 am [Reply]

    A & J: It’s always a little disconcerting to realize that levels of house organization that are low enough to be mocked in comic strips are nevertheless higher than my own.

  79. Poteet
    August 29th, 2013 at 9:30 am [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#76): Yay! Go, go, go for the ocean!

  80. Borborygmy
    August 29th, 2013 at 9:31 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#73): That simply emphasizes the importance of physical fitness and strength training, Reverend. “Be prepared!”, as Tom Lehrer put it so well.

  81. Poteet
    August 29th, 2013 at 9:34 am [Reply]

    GA: It’s clear that Slim’s diabolical scheme to drive his daughter out of his house by reminding her of what an internal cleansing product he is has progressed to the point that she will either leave or take up drinking very shortly.

  82. Liam
    August 29th, 2013 at 9:41 am [Reply]

    Gil Thorp-How do you know that the guy is big you haven’t even seen him in the bedroom yet. He might be small.

    Gil Thorp 2-Fine we get it. Assistant Coach Mullet is gay.

  83. Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist
    August 29th, 2013 at 9:44 am [Reply]

    I don’t read Gil Thorp, except when it’s on here. but I’ll bet you a box of Saudi-financed chemical weapons that the big kid’s deaf.

  84. Liam
    August 29th, 2013 at 9:52 am [Reply]

    A3G-”I don’t have a problem I can quit anytime I want.”

    MT-Rusty, have you been playing amongst the elk again.

    RMMD-Sorry, Rex, but Sam Driver is busy at the moment planning a rescue mission.

    Crankshaft-Who do you think you are? You’re Mary the Bus Driver not Mary Worth.

  85. Mikey
    August 29th, 2013 at 9:57 am [Reply]

    @Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist (#83): Perhaps he was deafened by an IED in Iraq and is back to finish high school. I really wouldn’t put it past the Gil Thorp writers to try that one…

  86. Écureuil Écumant
    August 29th, 2013 at 10:09 am [Reply]

    @Mikey (#85): A deaf football player is a tragic figure. Poor fella, to have to stand in that tight circle and never have any warning of huddle farts till they shred his olfactory nerve.

  87. Mr. Yezpitelok
    August 29th, 2013 at 10:10 am [Reply]

    Ripley’s: Marina Chapman of Bradford, England was kidnapped by a troop
    of capuchin monkeys. Five years later, she emerged from captivity completely nit-free!

  88. Amos Snarkadder
    August 29th, 2013 at 10:11 am [Reply]

    @Écureuil Écumant (#55): *snerk* Aggie looks like she has never turned down a dessert.

  89. Liam
    August 29th, 2013 at 10:13 am [Reply]

    Luann-Ox wants to dunk a witch and Tiffany is the closet thing to one.

  90. Joe Blevins
    August 29th, 2013 at 10:15 am [Reply]

    WORTH: It’s taken me a while to realize it, but this spa really is Mary Worth’s Fantasy Island-type dream vacation. She’s gotten to talk about death, listen to people’s problems, and meddle meddle meddle. It’s everything she loves consensed into one location.

    GT: I’d like to think that the last panel is from the giant kid’s persepective. He’s heard Gil and Kaz talking about him and is pondering whether or not to crush the puny humans.

    PLUGGERS: Pluggers dream of exotic letters of the alphabet they don’t get to use that often.

  91. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    August 29th, 2013 at 10:18 am [Reply]

    @Liam (#89): Luann-Ox wants to dunk a witch and Tiffany is the closet thing to one.

    With the cast of characters in this strip, his problem isn’t so much finding one as it is deciding which witch is which. Which is a problem that has bewitched him before.

  92. Braniff
    August 29th, 2013 at 10:19 am [Reply]

    @The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan (#32): FC: Perhaps we’ll see PJ in a closet with a “hanger-over” after he gets through on the swizzle chair and Barfying-it up.

  93. Paul1963
    August 29th, 2013 at 10:19 am [Reply]

    Beetle Bailey: Beetle has the same power as Kenny from South Park. His parents went to what they thought was a “key party” at some point, only to find it was actually a ceremony summoning the dark lord Cthulhu. 20-some years later, it doesn’t matter how many times Sarge straight-up beats Beetle to death, Beetle always wakes up intact in his bunk the next morning. (Cthulhu skipped the reborn-from-his-mother’s-womb part to save on bus fare).

  94. Dennis Jimenez
    August 29th, 2013 at 10:20 am [Reply]

    @Joe Blevins (#90): WORTH: It’s taken me a while to realize it, but this spa really is Mary Worth’s Fantasy Island-type dream vacation. She’s gotten to talk about death, listen to people’s problems, and meddle meddle meddle. It’s everything she loves consensed into one location.

    I want to see Curtis coming running shouting, “Dee Plane – DEE PLANE!”

  95. Alex Blaze
    August 29th, 2013 at 10:21 am [Reply]

    “Should we stifle our efforts to help one another because of an untrue policy that says the guest is always right? No, we should stifle those efforts for the amusement that judgement, shaming, and hostility bring.”

  96. seismic-2
    August 29th, 2013 at 10:24 am [Reply]

    GT: Say what you will about Coach Kaz, you must admit that he does a pretty good Eddie Munster impersonation.

  97. José Jiménez
    August 29th, 2013 at 10:25 am [Reply]

    @Mr. Yezpitelok (#87): Yeah, but Marina Chapman paid a high price to remain nit-free. Those monkeys put her to work dancing for pennies in the streets of Bogotá. And all they gave her to eat were their discarded fruit and nuts.

  98. Amos Snarkadder DBA Curmudgeon Farm
    August 29th, 2013 at 10:29 am [Reply]

    @Braniff (#11):

    FC: If PJ vomits–

    Then Grandma says, “Awww, that little swizzler!”

    Thanks, Braniff!

  99. bats :[
    August 29th, 2013 at 10:31 am [Reply]

    I don’t know whether to be delighted or shocked…Mary agrees with me that “the customer is always right.” is an untrue policy! Yay, in any case!

  100. Anondod
    August 29th, 2013 at 10:33 am [Reply]

    Gil Thorp: “A passer, some depth, and most of all, size.” Gil is on the prowl for a well-hung transvestite who can pass for female. I’ll let you figure out for yourselves what “depth” means in this context.

  101. NoahSnark
    August 29th, 2013 at 10:37 am [Reply]

    My mind raced with with a plethora of Plugger puns. Should I compare them to pandas? Could I make a funny allusion to furries? Was a bestiality reference out of bounds? After several minutes of furious thinking it slowly dawned on me that I was imagining Plugger’s having sex – which makes the joke, and therapy bills, on me.

  102. gleeb
    August 29th, 2013 at 10:38 am [Reply]

    @jim, some guy in iowa (#61): I think it’s “Ba-ng-alla”.

  103. Anonymous
    August 29th, 2013 at 10:39 am [Reply]

    @Liam (#10): “MT – This is the most that I have heard the word ‘elk’ being used.”

    Apparently you don’t have an Elk’s lodge in your area.

  104. Liam
    August 29th, 2013 at 10:40 am [Reply]

    MW-”I say throw the bum Aggie out.”

  105. A. Smirch Unheeded, Archdeacon
    August 29th, 2013 at 10:42 am [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#103): I like Elks. They are Benevolent and Protective, and Orderly.

  106. Sequitur
    August 29th, 2013 at 10:42 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#69):

    Pants. The universal problem.

  107. Sequitur
    August 29th, 2013 at 10:44 am [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#76):

    Hey! How’d you find out my real name?!

    //not really

  108. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    August 29th, 2013 at 10:45 am [Reply]

    @Borborygmy (#80): such strenuous labor.

    Dr. Frank N. Furter.

  109. Joe, the Upper-Evergreen Guy
    August 29th, 2013 at 10:47 am [Reply]

    RMMD: This whole “5-year old Sarah’s book deal” story arc is like a viral infection…..it just keeps hangin’ on.

  110. Illustrator Steve
    August 29th, 2013 at 10:50 am [Reply]

    @A. Smirch Unheeded, Archdeacon (#105):

    MT –
    Yes, the Elk’s are a fine organization and have helped many people and youth groups. but I didn’t realize they had a lodge in Lost Forest. I wonder if Doc may have been one of the past Exaulted Rulers.

    // If the upcoming story line is about the LoFo Elk’s B.P.O.E. Elk’s Lodge I’m certain some of the Elk’s members will offer to take Rusty fishing during Mark’s guaranteed upcoming absence.

  111. Hart of Johnny
    August 29th, 2013 at 10:52 am [Reply]

    Maybe Gil is scouting for a new tag team wrestling partner. The Fugitive is a one-trick pony. Or maybe he can bring the one-armed dude (whose name I never cared to learn) to coach the deaf lineman, with special guest appearance by Clambake. That’ll be GILVANA!

  112. Midtown
    August 29th, 2013 at 11:00 am [Reply]

    FW: Has none of Batiuk’s minions told him that he used the Crazy Harry template by mistake for the seldom-seen art teacher? Did anyone even notice besides us ‘mudges? Does it even matter since he won’t be seen again for a year or two?

  113. Borborygmy
    August 29th, 2013 at 11:00 am [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#108): Yes, but well worth it! Ample, jouncy buttocks!

  114. Illustrator Steve
    August 29th, 2013 at 11:03 am [Reply]

    MT – Don’t ask me how, but I have this strange premonition that the new Mark Trail story will have something to do with ELK.

    My prediction is the story may have to do with herds of villainous elk vandalizing fences in LoFo or, maybe the local Elk’s lodge has arrainged to have their organization’s upcoming annual national convention take place on the LoFo land that Mark’s family has been squatting on. If that’s the case Cherry will be up to her ears in pancake batter trying to feed the more than 5,000 attendees!

  115. C. Sandy Cyst
    August 29th, 2013 at 11:05 am [Reply]

    Of course Pluggers are uninterested in sex. A single Plugger family can consist of members of approximately eight different and completely incompatible species. Frankly I don’t know why they exist at all.

  116. Sequitur
    August 29th, 2013 at 11:06 am [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#114):

    SPOILER ALERT! Rusty will be kidnapped by ELK.

  117. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 29th, 2013 at 11:10 am [Reply]

    @C. Sandy Cyst (#115): Frankly I don’t know why they exist at all.

    Of course, the problem is that they wear pants.

  118. Dennis Jimenez
    August 29th, 2013 at 11:15 am [Reply]

    @A. Smirch Unheeded, Archdeacon (#105): And it’s absolutely spurious that they are ever horny! Are they antlery? No comment….

  119. Naked Bunny with a Whip
    August 29th, 2013 at 11:19 am [Reply]

    @Chip (#64): Indeed. The only way for a “customer is always right” policy to work without lethal logic bombs is to utterly ignore all of your customers.

    Explains a lot, really….

  120. Voice of Doom, Speaking
    August 29th, 2013 at 11:20 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#117): Give it a rest.

  121. bats :[
    August 29th, 2013 at 11:28 am [Reply]

    @jim, some guy in iowa (#56): re MT: re Lost Forest: Ours is not to reason why…
    (suggestion: let Rusty come along…)

  122. Sequitur
    August 29th, 2013 at 11:29 am [Reply]

    Dilbert: Wasn’t this the plot of Fargo?

  123. Majicou
    August 29th, 2013 at 11:31 am [Reply]

    FW: All together now: Simpsons did it.

    // And they added the subhead “Not a Parody of Wal-Mart,” which I still think is one of their best sign gags.

    Zits: You’d think Old Man Zits would’ve gotten the Zeppelin reference. Of course, I DO know songs about DNA.

  124. Sequitur
    August 29th, 2013 at 11:32 am [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#121):

    Fred and Barey? Does that have something to do with gay porn?

  125. Northern lurker
    August 29th, 2013 at 11:42 am [Reply]

    Luanne: oddly reasonable, good humored and decent response by the evil Tiffany.

  126. DaveyK
    August 29th, 2013 at 11:44 am [Reply]

    Mary Worth plot line resolution has gone from driving drunken people off cliffs to writing passive-aggressive letters to upper management? Man, the writers of Mary Worth need some talk-group therapy of their own.

  127. Ann Elk
    August 29th, 2013 at 11:45 am [Reply]

    @The Grandstander (#14):

    “It looks like “the elk” are going to be central to the next Mark Trail story line.”

    And about time too!

    /////I have a theory that it is about time, too!

    //////////////And that theory is mine.

  128. Sequitur
    August 29th, 2013 at 11:48 am [Reply]

  129. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    August 29th, 2013 at 11:49 am [Reply]

    European elk or American elk?

  130. Jon I Am
    August 29th, 2013 at 11:49 am [Reply]

    FW: Every customer of “Sprawl Mart” is going to want to kill themselves (if they don’t already just from living in Westview) after running into this mopey guy.

    Rex Morgan: UP (Ultra Privileged) Have an attorney look at the contract…for what purpose? It’s essentially giving a five year old money to draw horsey pictures on her terms and submit them in an indeterminate amount of time. What possible legal hang-ups could there be for Sawah?

  131. Jim in Wisc.
    August 29th, 2013 at 11:50 am [Reply]

    Baitle Beeley: Considering that it’s actually very easy to “get lost” in the desert, today’s attempt at humor is a miserable failure.

    Family Circus Freaks: More recycled artwork today. The personal computer looks like the old-fashioned “all-in-one” models that were around in the 1980s.

    Meddlin’ Mary: “The answer is no. No! I say. A thousand – nay – a million times, NO!!”

  132. terrapin
    August 29th, 2013 at 11:51 am [Reply]

    MT: My guess is that the elk over-heard Mark’s man to troll talk with Rusty and are having T-Rex laden nightmares.

    Pluggers: Yeah, dog-man has been pleasuring himself all right. That’s a “I never have to sleep with my chicken-wife” grin if I ever saw one.

  133. Liam
    August 29th, 2013 at 11:53 am [Reply]

    Wizard of Id-Extreme Hangman

    Beetle Bailey-”It might be the heatstroke but I swear I passed by an old woman talking in platitudes.”

  134. Heims57
    August 29th, 2013 at 11:54 am [Reply]

    Mary Worth: Cut all in balloon after first sentence in second panel. Insert: “I am Mary Worth. Your argument is invalid.”

    That is all.

  135. terrapin
    August 29th, 2013 at 11:55 am [Reply]

    @Braniff (#92):When I first read this I pictured PJ hanging in the closet with a hanger around his neck. After re-reading I realized that wasn’t your intent. But thanks for making my day anyway.

  136. Odie Odo
    August 29th, 2013 at 11:58 am [Reply]

    My favorite pet strip of the day (this one’s for queek!):

    http://www.gocomics.com/dogeatdoug/2013/08/29

  137. Acacia
    August 29th, 2013 at 11:58 am [Reply]

    Things no fluent English speaker has never uttered: “this school morning,” from the comic strip “Nancy.”

  138. Acacia
    August 29th, 2013 at 11:59 am [Reply]

    @Acacia (#137):

    That should be “ever uttered,” by the way. Maybe I’m not so fluent after all.

  139. bats :[
    August 29th, 2013 at 12:03 pm [Reply]

    @Esther Blodgett (#60): I thought this was great. I must be dreamin’…

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#76): TROO!

    @Liam (#84): Maybe. Maybe not.

  140. Hank G.
    August 29th, 2013 at 12:04 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers: If I were a dog married to a chicken, I don’t think I’d be very interested in sex either.

  141. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    August 29th, 2013 at 12:04 pm [Reply]

    @Odie Odo (#136): *SNURK!*

    thank you!

  142. tallyHO
    August 29th, 2013 at 12:06 pm [Reply]

    @KreatureFeatures (#5):

    “…perhaps the most important one of our modern times: Who let the dogs out?”

    You must admit that of the “most important” questions which have arisen in the 21st Century thus far [interruption, be right back; listen to a Musak version of “Poppa Don’t Preach” followed by a medley of “Goober Peas” and “Turkey in the Straw".....]
    [20 minutes later:]

    Of those memorable questions which resonate and have been asked, that question as well as other frivolous ones, like “Can I haz a cheeseburger?”–as stupid as these things are– stick with people who encountered them years ago ( and I guess they are “catchy” enough to not be cryptic to most non-curmugeony folk).

    While any of us can quickly consider really big questions which have answers of great importance and consequence, it is easy to refer to pop culture and people “get it”. They get is as a joke; or, they get it being important. For the latter, I think of tragic days and times when you don’t really say much or ask much; everyone knows what you are talking about even if you are vague or you poorly word the questions.

    Now, compare this to those carry over questions from the 20th Century. Just from the past 50 some years there’s been big questions. Hell, some people participated (and others still do) in a cottage industry of asking loaded questions of individuals and groups. While others do the same to create and to bring up controversies)

    Okay, I swear before I was interrupted (work) I had pithy and ribald stuff to write.

    In fact, I was getting rid of stuff on my computer just this week. One of the things I found were some songs I had on here. This folder of files and songs included “Who let the dogs out?” . The reason I had it is because a friend wanted to do a parody video of the song. (who didn’t?) I am proud to say that I threw it away with reminding myself of the non-chorus lyrics (if there are any, that is).

  143. The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan
    August 29th, 2013 at 12:09 pm [Reply]

    Why do I think that tomorrow’s episode of Mark Trail is going to be like one of those interludes they used to have on Monty Python?

    [Announcer reads over title card]: Number 23. The elk.

    CUT TO ZOOM SHOT OF MOTIONLESS ELK, STARING AT CAMERA.

    ELK EXPLODES, LEAVING NOTHING FRAGMENTS FALLING FROM THE SKY.

    CUT TO JOHN CLEESE BEHIND DESK

    JOHN CLEESE: And now for something completely different.

  144. bats :[
    August 29th, 2013 at 12:09 pm [Reply]

    @Amos Snarkadder DBA Curmudgeon Farm (#98): HAHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAAH…BARF!

    No, I have no idea why I posted my mashup twice.
    Other than a sad, sad cry for attention.

  145. The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan
    August 29th, 2013 at 12:10 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#142): Psst. It’s “I can haz cheezburger?”

  146. AhClem
    August 29th, 2013 at 12:12 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#116):
    Maybe Rusty will become trapped under an elk that has broken its leg, and Mark must save him before the tide rolls in.

  147. The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan
    August 29th, 2013 at 12:12 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#144): A gif would be a lot of fun – if you didn’t mind waiting until next week for it.

  148. tallyHO
    August 29th, 2013 at 12:13 pm [Reply]

    @terrapin (#132):

    On Dog-Man…you got me wondering if he takes his pants off and then licks himself or does he just drop trous and start humping poles or trees or what?

  149. The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan
    August 29th, 2013 at 12:18 pm [Reply]

    So I decided to go through my various subscriptions and cut back on the number of comics I read every day. It’s going to be a busy school year, after all.

    I found two that I could bear to part with: Nancy and King of the Royal Mounted Patrol.

    My name is Dan, and I’m a comicsaholic.

  150. jim, some guy in iowa
    August 29th, 2013 at 12:18 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#121): thanks for giving us a glimpse of Rusty’s dream, had it been not rudely ended by Mr Elrod

  151. jim, some guy in iowa
    August 29th, 2013 at 12:19 pm [Reply]

    MW: I imagine whoever Mary is addressing this meddle to is going to read it and think, “what do you mean *we*, old white lady?”

  152. tallyHO
    August 29th, 2013 at 12:21 pm [Reply]

    @The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan (#145):

    Who the hell would say something that stupid?

    //i keed. i keed!

    //I take that back!

    Do people think everyone is moron?!? Seriously. One of the worst words to survive the Dotcom Bubble era was “meme”. It should have rotten on the vine. But that…that is somehow one of the ways we communicate. That and sending nekkid photos to strangers, apparently. The new, readily available Lingua Franca.

    You know what? When people’s heads begin to collapse due to rapid pressure changes, I’m sure we’ll consider that a meme, too.

    bah! “I can haz…” Seriously? He’s rephrasing a statement into a question? For the love of Lovey Howell and the sturdiness of my nads, get me off this island!!!!!

  153. Sequitur
    August 29th, 2013 at 12:21 pm [Reply]

    @jim, some guy in iowa (#151):

    She’s writing to Tonto?

    //reference to old joke.

  154. The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan
    August 29th, 2013 at 12:23 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#152): You make it sound like naked pictures of strangers is a bad thing.

  155. jim, some guy in iowa
    August 29th, 2013 at 12:26 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#153): I *knew* I’d botched that as soon as I hit ‘post’. ah well

  156. bats :[
    August 29th, 2013 at 12:37 pm [Reply]

    @The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan (#147): yeah, but it’s only FC…this image captures the aftermath moment perfectly. :)

  157. Justin
    August 29th, 2013 at 12:38 pm [Reply]

    Calling it now: Gil Thorp’s hulking shadow is female.

  158. Liam
    August 29th, 2013 at 12:38 pm [Reply]

    Gil Thorp-”And most of all size. I’m tired of tiny players. I want players that are hung.”

    JP-Just hurry up and hire the A-Team.

  159. Liam
    August 29th, 2013 at 12:43 pm [Reply]

    MW-”Employees of the Pax Wellness Spa and Resort unite. You have nothing to lose but Shannon.”

  160. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    August 29th, 2013 at 12:45 pm [Reply]

  161. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    August 29th, 2013 at 12:46 pm [Reply]

  162. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 29th, 2013 at 1:22 pm [Reply]

    @Voice of Doom, Speaking (#120): Pfui! In your pants!

  163. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    August 29th, 2013 at 1:25 pm [Reply]

    MT – As everyone knows, the Elk is the mascot for Centerville (OH) High School, which is where Ed Crankshaft is employed as a bus driver. If the Elk are causing fences to be knocked over and in need of repair, I think it is pretty clear whose school bus has been causing the damage. I look forward to the upcoming punching with a glee I usually reserve for the end of the praise and plaudits stage of a Mary Worth storyline.

  164. Écureuil Écumant
    August 29th, 2013 at 1:34 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#121): The last panel looks like the tyrannosaur is trying to ensnare that terrified elk in a cocoon of Spider-Snot.

  165. Mr. Yezpitelok
    August 29th, 2013 at 1:35 pm [Reply]

    Nancy: I did a spit-take when I read the punchline as “Nancy’s pet turtle’s beating me OFF!”

  166. mtfan
    August 29th, 2013 at 1:37 pm [Reply]

    Jack Elkrod?

  167. Joshua
    August 29th, 2013 at 1:39 pm [Reply]

    @Jon I Am (#130): I could be wrong, but I see the contract exactly the opposite way. A five-year-old is being required to draw four books’ worth of material, and to participate in publicity campaigns for the books, and to maintain a minimum GPA when she enrolls in first grade, with financial penalties for failure to comply. And her royalties will all be applied to an art school scholarship, or, never mind, they won’t. The contract sounds like it was incredibly poorly drafted, and a good lawyer for the Morgans would probably tell the publisher, “Take these paragraphs out. You shouldn’t expect a 5-year-old to comply with them. Don’t tell me that you’ll be flexible in enforcing them, just forget about having them in the contract at all.”

  168. Poteet
    August 29th, 2013 at 1:41 pm [Reply]

    MW: Judging from her prose style, Mary is starting to forget that she’s not writing as Wendy. What follows will be seven hundred words of senseless blither that will cause the spa management to call the police.

  169. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    August 29th, 2013 at 1:45 pm [Reply]

    @Joshua (#167): true, but we all know that Rex is going to call Randy Parker, with the end result of the museum just giving Liddle Sawah $20 grand and the keys to a half-scale Ferrari.

    it’s good to be a Spencer/Driver/Morgan!

  170. Ratiocinator
    August 29th, 2013 at 1:46 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#57):

    This week is just an excuse to draw the female cast in swimsuits, isn’t it?

    Hey, you’ve also got Gunther and Knute and…ah, I see the problem.

    @Esther Blodgett (#60): My money on it just being a setup for them to write Tiffany being a bitch somehow and getting embarrassed. Like last time.

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#73): You know what isn’t among those drawbacks? The chief selling point of Judge Parker, that’s what.

    @Liam (#84):

    RMMD-Sorry, Rex, but Sam Driver is busy at the moment planning a rescue mission.

    No, Sam is actually busy waiting for Abbey in his study. That means he won’t be available until late November or the start of the Christmas season.

    @Sequitur (#106): Truly, it afflicts us all, and has since the beginning of ti–well, since the beginning of pants.

  171. Alison
    August 29th, 2013 at 1:47 pm [Reply]

    “Mary Worth”: Does Mary have any actual proof that the resort is going to fire Shannon because Aggie complained? All she’s heard was that Shannon was worried she might be fired. It’s still not a bad idea to write a letter of support, but it’s silly to act like you know the firing is for certain. For all Mary knows, the resort will only give Shannon a warning. Mary’s letter is gonna look awfully dramatic in that case.

    “Rex Morgan”: In real life, “promotion” for this book would probably be limited to Widdle Sarah showing her book to a local reporter while Ms. Lanning does the talking.

  172. Ratiocinator
    August 29th, 2013 at 1:47 pm [Reply]

    @Joshua (#167): Yeah, that’s how I read it too. It’s a hell of a lot of responsibility to be shoving in the lap of a five-year-old. (Not that I’m in the habit of feeling sorry for Sarah, mind you.)

  173. Tom, the Sailor Man
    August 29th, 2013 at 1:49 pm [Reply]

    In the interest of brevity, I make a motion that henceforth ANY problem with one’s pants be referred to simply as a “Scudder”.

  174. Uncle Lumpy
    August 29th, 2013 at 1:57 pm [Reply]

    @mtfan (#166):

    Jelk Ackroyd

  175. Charterstoned
    August 29th, 2013 at 1:58 pm [Reply]

    MW – The cactus outside her window is a silent sentinel, Mary’s perfect alter ego: Dry and prickly, yet so firmly rooted in its own life pattern that it is able to withstand the extremes of the surrounding environment, it strikes a pose of righteous pontification even as Mary commits her own barbs to paper.

  176. The Ridger
    August 29th, 2013 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

    @Ratiocinator (#172): And considering that (I seem to remember this anyhow) the museum wants Sarah to interpret its exhibits in her art, and all we know she can draw is horses, the whole project seems very ill-conceived. If it’s not some huge scheme whereby the museum-lady plans to rip off all and sundry, but is instead something we are supposed to accept as a thing that happens, I will be even more disappointed than I was with … well, anything in RMMD in fact.

  177. tallyHO
    August 29th, 2013 at 2:00 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#160):

    So, Dictionary Cat has a job in marketing does she/he? I bet that photo is her/him “home-officing”.

    @The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan (#154):

    No one has ever sent any to me. I’ve never sent any to anyone else. I’m missing out on something, but I don’t know what it is (do I, Mr. Jones?)

    [wow. i must have typed this over an hour ago. i’m on top of things this week. normally, i mis-priotize much better than this.]

  178. seismic-2
    August 29th, 2013 at 2:07 pm [Reply]

    @Écureuil Écumant (#86):
    GT:True fact: the circular huddle was introduced into football in 1892 at Gallaudet University, America’s first college for the deaf and hard-of-hearing. Their team obviously had to use sign language to call the plays in advance of snapping the ball, and their quarterback came up with the huddle as the way for them to do so without their signs being seen by the opposing team, especially when they played against other schools for the deaf.

    If the hulking shadow in the doorway of today’s strip is in fact that of a deaf student, and if Gil recruits him to provide the much-needed “size” on the offensive line, will it be necessary to use sign language to communicate with him? Since the offensive line coach is an amputee, hilarity will ensue! It’s been such a long time since comics were willing to poke fun at the disabled! (OK, it’s been at most 2 or 3 days.)

  179. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    August 29th, 2013 at 2:11 pm [Reply]

    @Ratiocinator (#172): RMMD It’s a hell of a lot of responsibility to be shoving in the lap of a five-year-old.

    Especially if you just chose the first five-year-old to walk into your office and you agreed to a four-book deal within a few minutes of meeting her, and without discussing with her or her parents or guardian what the responsibilities would be.

    This plotline has put RMMD over 9CL as my favorite thing to mutter about when I first read the comics in the morning. 9CL is still plodding along, but is stuck in its nonsense world of short skirts and tight dresses – and I’m sorry but in the era of pornhub, I don’t need chinless stick figures to give me my fill of that. RMMD has veered into this completely ridiculous world of four book deals designed to promote an art museum but drawn by a 5YO and none of it reads as whimsy or satire, but instead it is all being played with a straight face and likely will continue to be.

  180. Antsy on Antarius
    August 29th, 2013 at 2:15 pm [Reply]

    @C. Sandy Cyst (#115):

    “Of course Pluggers are uninterested in sex. A single Plugger family can consist of members of approximately eight different and completely incompatible species.”

    Eight? That’s amateur hour stuff.

    http://www.farleftside.com/extras/subitzky.html

  181. Fashion Police
    August 29th, 2013 at 2:19 pm [Reply]

    We are quite anxious that Miss Sophie Spencer may be contemplating leading a strike force in her pink facsimile Hello Kitty t-shirt. Her cheerleader outfit would be far more appropriate.

  182. Mikey
    August 29th, 2013 at 2:21 pm [Reply]

  183. bats :[
    August 29th, 2013 at 2:24 pm [Reply]

    @Charterstoned (#175): And yet, once a year, Mary’s compassion shines through, and she gives lovingly of her thoughts and her feelings, like the beautiful white flowers of the saguaro cactus, which cluster and bloom, to offer the sweetest nectar to all who desire this unexpected largesse, such as the bats that hover around her, again and again dipping their long and slender tongues, as tenderly pink and moistly sensuous as the evening primrose, into thedepthsofhersoftblossomohmygodwhatamIsaying…..BARF!

  184. Sequitur
    August 29th, 2013 at 2:25 pm [Reply]

    @Fashion Police (#181):

    I do hope Sophie will know to wear her camo cheerleader outfit complete with pom pom bombs.

  185. Horace Broon
    August 29th, 2013 at 2:29 pm [Reply]

    DT: “Whereas my current research is so advanced, it’s like watching The Jetsons!”

    GT: “Is it poor form to drag this kid to the ground and force him to join the football team? Seriously, Gil, I can’t remember if that’s a thing we do or not. I’ve a feeling it is, because why else would anyone join this team?”

    MW: It’s a shame Mary’s writing this as a letter, because it’d be an interesting conversation.
    Manager: Sorry, why should I listen to you about this?
    Mary: Because I’m your guest! Don’t you have a policy that says the guest is always right?
    Manager: But … you just … *head explodes*

    RMMD: “You have to understand that Sarah is basically our book-slave now!”

  186. Mikey
    August 29th, 2013 at 2:31 pm [Reply]

    Update for the 500th TRMT in the future.

    MT3000- Mark: “Are the Elk the cause of the damage being done to the sector seven force perimeter?”
    Doc: “I don’t know, Mark… The Elk normally stay in their quadrant, but I suppose it’s possible.”
    Mark: “I’ll look around. Maybe they were spooked by a Red Mutant wandering near the quadrant perimeter.”

  187. Horace Broon
    August 29th, 2013 at 2:38 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#152): Nothing wrong with the word “meme”. The idea Richard Dawkins was talking about when he coined it, about ideas that replicate in a similar manner to genetics, is a useful one in some discussions about thought. The problem is the use of the word “meme” to mean “repetition of stupid phrases under the belief that the more you say it the funnier it becomes”.

    Actually, that’s not even the problem. The problem is that “repetition of stupid phrases under the belief that the more you say it the funnier it becomes” has proliferated to the extent that it needs a word.

    (And I speak as someone who has declared that all your base are belong to us on occasion.)

  188. Liam
    August 29th, 2013 at 2:39 pm [Reply]

    MW-”My God! This Mary Worth person is right. This Aggie person sounds like a menace. I better have security escort her out to the middle of the desert. Better have Mary Worth escorted out there too. She sounds like a snitch and a blabber mouth.”

  189. Cactus Flower
    August 29th, 2013 at 2:41 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#183): I blame you for this. *dies*

  190. Mikey
    August 29th, 2013 at 2:46 pm [Reply]

    MT: Yeah, your damn right those elk are spooked Doc! Look at this!!!

    http://www.ufocasebook.com/elkabduction.html

  191. Amos Snarkadder DBA Curmudgeon Farm
    August 29th, 2013 at 2:49 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#144):

    No, I have no idea why I posted my mashup twice.

    We thought it was so nice,
    We’re glad you posted it twice!
    // I’m hoping we’ll see more T. Rex from time to time.

  192. bats :[
    August 29th, 2013 at 2:57 pm [Reply]

    @Mikey (#190): elk were abducted by a giant pig snout? That is pretty scary, I suppose.

  193. Uncle Lumpy
    August 29th, 2013 at 3:00 pm [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#176):

    … I will be even more disappointed than I was with … well, anything in RMMD in fact.

    Rex Morgan, M.D. no longer makes sense as anything but post-postmodern disappointment porn.

  194. bbofun
    August 29th, 2013 at 3:07 pm [Reply]

    GIL THORPE- I think you’re all misreading this. It’s not that the giant student couldn’t hear Coach Kaz. it’s that Kaz yelled “Hey, fella!” It’s not a fella- the giant is female. This will set up a nice parallel with the “cheer team needs men” story. (And would be far more interesting than whatever this is going to actually be- probably a “gentle giant” story, where the kid doesn’t want to hurt anyone.)

    RMMD- Last Monday, a woman named “Barbara” was assigned to “keep an eye” on Sarah, as her mother talked to the museum lady. The narration box specifically said “While Sarah works in the gallery…” Her lifetime of servitude has already begun, Morgans! Hire as many lawyers as you like- Sarah is theirs, now!

  195. Illustrator Steve
    August 29th, 2013 at 3:14 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#116):

    Rusty will be kidnapped by the Exaulted Ruler?!

  196. Illustrator Steve
    August 29th, 2013 at 3:15 pm [Reply]

    @C. Sandy Cyst (#115):

    I see you’ve been to my inlaws family farm!

  197. Sequitur
    August 29th, 2013 at 3:18 pm [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#195):

    Rusty will be kidnapped. Or possibly not.
    I predict one or the other will happen or not happen.

    ELK may or may not have anything to do with one thing or the other.

    You can bet on it!

  198. Dennis Jimenez
    August 29th, 2013 at 3:21 pm [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#195): Rusty gets stuck in the rut….

  199. walt d.
    August 29th, 2013 at 3:22 pm [Reply]

    GT: Hell, I thought that’s how big high school football players were normally nowadays, what with the weight room emphasis. (And the steroids.)

    Pluggers: I posted this somewhere on the net in the last year. If it was here, my apologies. Many years ago, Ann Landers wrote that middle-aged women would rather cuddle than have sex with their husbands. Mike Royko responded that middle-aged men would rather play golf than have sex with their wives. I find these statements completely reasonable.

    MW: It seems to me that if Mary is shown writing with a pen, the dialog box should be in cursive. It’s not like anyone who reads this strip would have a problem reading cursive.

  200. tallyHO
    August 29th, 2013 at 3:23 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#188):

    Yes, she was a menace. She does what? Shows up for one meeting and lashes out at everyone there and a person who was not even there. And, she lashed out at the person who was not there for never being there when she expected her to remain her friends.

    As far as we know, Aggie’s friend was in a maximum security prison for killing her not-so lazy stalker. Since Aggie sounds like a lazy stalker, or an incompetent one who never knew where her prey was, Aggie should be thanking her lucky stars (or her Lucky Charms and all those Green, Marshmallow Clovers she’s consumed) that she’s still alive and healthy enough to proudly show her Irishness (in a good way and not in a drunken projectile puking way) by wearing a green trash bag to a meeting about sharing.

    Quite frankly, that Chartreuse Menace that is Aggie (Agriculture?) should be thanking on bended knee that the number one nighttime archenemy of “Heathcliff”, The Garbage Bear, didn’t show up for that Sharing Circle. The GB has the patience of a caffeine addict who is kibitzing at convention for bottle water distributers. Aggie would not have made it of the circle in one piece and quite frankly her trash bag top would have been useless.
    Useless, I say!

    @Horace Broon (#187):
    You are completely on the mark (or as the fauxBritish say: “spot on”)

    I took the time to reply and it became a bit too verbose. So, I cut and pasted it.

    I think there is something lame about it. It isn’t that memes are about funny things as much as they seem to be about people identifying themselves as funny. When people acknowledge memes, it is like they are declaring approval. There’s something very cynical about that and about memes, in general.

  201. Illustrator Steve
    August 29th, 2013 at 3:30 pm [Reply]

    @Mikey (#186): “Update for the 500th TRMT in the future.”

    So, in other words, you mean in the year 3000 AD there will be some flunky working for the Jackelrod studio by plagiarizing the good name of TRMT by repeatedly using TRMT’s original improved art over and over and over just to keep the MT strip going for countless more millenium? That adds up to thousands of years of royalties TRMT will have missed by simply trying to help Elrod out by improving the strip in the first place! That’s just not fair!!!!

  202. tallyHO
    August 29th, 2013 at 3:30 pm [Reply]

    That “Gil Thorp”* strip:

    I saw that and said this Gil fellow hangs out with young Clint Eastwood? Yowzers!
    Then it was, like, is Clint and Gil hanging out in a school hallway and “cruising”?
    And then Clint asks if it is “poor form” to tackle that kid? What kind of Twilight Zone strip is that?

    What next? As he runs down the hall, he thinks about all the ways he needs to measure that “big fella”????

    You shouldn’t have started talking to chairs, dude, cuz now there’s fools like me who are ridiculing your comic strip dopplegangers!

    * a name/title which reads like a pun said by a person with his mouth full:
    “Haf annwon seemuh Gil Thorp?”

    ~gulp~

    “I repeat: I haven’t seen my Jock Strap today. Has anyone else seen it?”

  203. Illustrator Steve
    August 29th, 2013 at 3:33 pm [Reply]

    @Mikey (#190):

    Cool! It looks like Rusty and his pet elk will be kidnapped by aliens!

  204. Illustrator Steve
    August 29th, 2013 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#197):

    That could possibly be great or possibly not so great!

  205. Jon I Am
    August 29th, 2013 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

    @Joshua (#167):

    That’s true. on one hand, you can’t expect to hold a five year old to these terms. A contract for drawing four books of horsey pictures is a lot to expect from a little kid – even one as supposedly precocious as Sawah.

    On the other hand, who would write out a contract for a five year old in the first place?

    I have to agree with the others: Rex Morgan has gotten really ridiculous. Rex and June do maybe five minutes of actual medical work (CPR of that guy who had heart troubles earlier in the summer), and they are lavished with free stuff for doing their job.

    It’s like the strip is written from the perspective of a ten year old’s fantasy of what it’s like to be a successful doctor.

  206. Illustrator Steve
    August 29th, 2013 at 3:38 pm [Reply]

    @Dennis Jimenez (#198):

    During rutting season Rusty will more likely be stuck on Bighorn mountain with no memory card in his camera.

  207. tallyHO
    August 29th, 2013 at 3:40 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#200):

    quick question for anyone:

    Do real British people say: “spot on”?

    If so, I won’t make fun of them for that.

    They might use it like:

    Person one: Do you have the chicken pox?
    Person two: These are spot on.

    Wife:
    Belvedere from next door claims our dog pooped on his porch!
    Husband:
    That’s impossible dear. you walked Spot last night. He didn’t poop there!
    Wife:
    haha! If Spot had pooped there I could have told Belvedere our dog was “spot on”.

    Husband:
    That’s funny after you took the dog for a walk I took a walk over to Belvedere’s and took a dump on his porch!

  208. walt d.
    August 29th, 2013 at 3:42 pm [Reply]

    RMMD: Ah, the lawyer! We have yet another opportunity for an adult to enter the story, be apprised of the situation, and remark, “Are you people all nuts?”

  209. Illustrator Steve
    August 29th, 2013 at 3:45 pm [Reply]

    LT (Lottery ticket)

    I gotta tell everyone of my good fortune today. I don’t often buy lottery tickets but today for some reason I decided to buy a two dollar scratch ticket … I won $100.00 dollars!!!

    // My first thought was to rent a private jet and pay for all the mudgeon’s to join me for a pizza party with TRMT at Atlas Pizza as my treat. After thinking more about it I realized the more practical thing to do would be to save part of the winnings and take a couple of bucks to go buy a pair of, (wait for it) … PANTS.

  210. CanuckDownSouth
    August 29th, 2013 at 3:52 pm [Reply]

    @Jon I Am (#205): Well, there are contracts that involve 5-year-olds, such as for acting/modelling. But the guardian is the one being held to the terms (to have the kid there), the kid’s auditioned so you know they can pose / do the scene, there are a bunch of laws restricting how much they can work, etc. For writing or drawing, I’d assume it’s the guardians who are held liable for the kid’s output and the contract wouldn’t stand up if the required amount of work took too much time according to child labour laws. (Another reason for having the blasted contest! get the drawings you want done through the contest! errgh.)

  211. Sequitur
    August 29th, 2013 at 3:53 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO(
    #207)
    :

    Hey, hey, hey! According to Merriam-Webster dictionary it’s hyphenated!
    (So is Merriam-Webster.)

    And we all know how painful that can be.

  212. Sequitur
    August 29th, 2013 at 3:57 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#211):

    I have no idea how tallyHO and his comment number got split like that. It looked fine in the composition box.

    May tallyHO and 207 don’t get along.

  213. Sequitur
    August 29th, 2013 at 3:59 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#212): “Maybe”

    //I think I’ll go out in the parking lot and stare at a car now.

  214. Lkjandersen
    August 29th, 2013 at 4:03 pm [Reply]

    That plugger is high as a kite.

  215. Amos Snarkadder DBA Curmudgeon Farm
    August 29th, 2013 at 4:04 pm [Reply]

    @Alison (#171):

    “Mary Worth”: Does Mary have any actual proof that the resort is going to fire Shannon because Aggie complained?

    If the management didn’t think of it before, Mary’s letter may plant the idea.
    “Hey, now that I’ve read this Worth woman’s letter, I have an idea: Let’s fire Shannon! That’ll get the whiney guest off our backs and we can hire someone for less pay!”

  216. Dr. Pill
    August 29th, 2013 at 4:09 pm [Reply]

    @The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan (#149): Re Nancy — But you’ll also be missing Aunt Fritzi and her lovely … tributes to musicians who have passed on.

  217. Baka Gaijin
    August 29th, 2013 at 4:18 pm [Reply]

    I have to hand it to Tiffany: she handled Ox with respect. Others in the cast [cough]Luann[cough] would have written a message on the front of his t-shirt and sent him meandering to her twoo wuv, who would reciprocate with an oaf of his own with a reply.

  218. walt d.
    August 29th, 2013 at 4:23 pm [Reply]

    Hi and Lois/The Barn/Born Loser: A bit dark out today.

    Non Sequitur: Susan Estrich is fond of saying “Everyone hates lawyers, until they need one.” The same might be said of bankers. What Susan neglects to say is that just because you need one doesn’t mean you stop hating them.

  219. Sequitur
    August 29th, 2013 at 4:25 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#217):

    Oaf messaging.

    I have no point with this; it’s just fun to say.

    Oaf messaging.

  220. demoncat4
    August 29th, 2013 at 4:29 pm [Reply]

    mw . and thus now mary will add the management of the resort to her web for she will end the letter saying if they fire shannon she will stay forever and be the new group talk leader after she has a nice chat with aggie showing her how wrong she is going after shannon.another town may fall to mary now .

  221. cheech wizard
    August 29th, 2013 at 4:30 pm [Reply]

    GT – “Holy smokes! Who is that kid?”

    Name’s Lenny. Likes rabbits. Don’t introduce him to cheerleaders or anything else soft and cuddly, ok?

    JP (y) – “Thank you Abby. I’d like to speak with Thalia now, please. Thalia, are you there? Or is this Sybil again?”

  222. Illustrator Steve
    August 29th, 2013 at 4:30 pm [Reply]

    MW – I see Mary buys her mugs at the same place Cherry Trail finally started buying her mugs! …COFFEE mugs, what did you think I meant?

  223. Illustrator Steve
    August 29th, 2013 at 4:34 pm [Reply]

    MT – “I’ll look around, Doc … maybe something is frightening the Elk. In the mean time while I’m gone, what ever you do … don’t let Cherry set the propane camp stove up anywhere near the house while those pesky elk are running about!!”

  224. tallyHO
    August 29th, 2013 at 4:46 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#212):

    That would be hilarious if it were my weight.

    On “spot-on”…okay. If that is the proper way, that’s okay. I can understand that hyphenating it makes it clearer than it being used this way:

    There is a spot on my blazer.
    vs.
    That blazer is spot-on.

  225. Casey, Crime Photographer
    August 29th, 2013 at 4:48 pm [Reply]

    @Dr. Pill (#216): Pasdordan’s not down with the Nashville music scene. But I, for one, appreciate knowing that “Cowboy” Jack Clement just passed away at the age of 82.

  226. greghousesgf
    August 29th, 2013 at 4:52 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#207): yes, sometimes they do.

  227. tallyHO
    August 29th, 2013 at 5:10 pm [Reply]

    @greghousesgf (#226):
    Sometimes they do take dumps on people’s porches? Oh, Britannia! How far do you go with your dooties?

    Oh.
    You mean they do use the phrase “spot-on” over there? I’m sorry GB…oops. Sorry Garbage Bear, I was referring to Great Britain! That GB is one big homogeneous island nation, and, it is filled with immigrants, right? Someday, you’ll be a great empire, too. Maybe then you can change the name of your nation to Spot-onsylvania!

  228. Majicou
    August 29th, 2013 at 5:13 pm [Reply]

    @Horace Broon (#187): What’s worse is that some people appear to use “meme” to mean not even dumb Internet catchphrases, which do tend to spread memetically, but specifically images with captions on them. I do, on occasion, hear people use the term correctly, showing that they do know it doesn’t relate to Internet humor. They might comment on how a political meme is spreading through the population, for instance. These instances warm my prescriptivist heart, but they’re few and far between.

  229. Alison
    August 29th, 2013 at 5:14 pm [Reply]

    @Amos Snarkadder DBA Curmudgeon Farm (#215):
    I know, right? Best not to give anybody any bad ideas, unless you know for sure they’ve already thought of them.

    Of course, it would be great to see Shannon’s face when she heard the news: “Well, honestly Ms. Brown, we weren’t going to fire you, but then one of our elderly guests wrote a letter about doing so and I decided, yes, that would be for the best.”

  230. Majicou
    August 29th, 2013 at 5:15 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#152): By the way, the cat is rephrasing a question into a different, ungrammatical question.

  231. The good ship thetis
    August 29th, 2013 at 5:16 pm [Reply]

    I was recently in Elko, Nevada, which like many small towns has an Elks building on the main street, now vacant. However, they have left up the sign: Elko Elks.

  232. Ben Wasabi
    August 29th, 2013 at 5:22 pm [Reply]

    @Casey, Crime Photographer (#225):

    I think Pasdordan is more of a Cowboy Bob fan.

    By the way, did you know Dennis Mitchell consorts with EVILSCARYCLOWNS?!

    http://www.readinkbooks.com/shop_image/product/18422.jpg

  233. Hatlo Faction
    August 29th, 2013 at 5:23 pm [Reply]

    It’s Jimmy Hatlo birthday weekend. Happy Birthday Mr. Hatlo!

  234. The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan
    August 29th, 2013 at 5:27 pm [Reply]

    @Dr. Pill (#216): Tragedies abound in the vale of tears we call home. Also, dead country musicians.

  235. Anonymous
    August 29th, 2013 at 5:40 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#183): Must…erase…image!!!!!

  236. The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan
    August 29th, 2013 at 5:40 pm [Reply]

    @Casey, Crime Photographer (#225): Nope, more of an outlaw/Bakersfield type of country guy myself. But if you can’t get down with Johnny Cash and George Jones, both longtime Nashville residents, you don’t know country.

  237. Old Folkie
    August 29th, 2013 at 5:50 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#197): You’re making the Doctor happy/unhappy…

  238. cheech wizard
    August 29th, 2013 at 5:54 pm [Reply]

    @Old Folkie (#237): I read gypsy, doctor!

  239. Dennis Jimenez
    August 29th, 2013 at 5:55 pm [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#206): Brokebuck Mountain – the sequel….

  240. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 29th, 2013 at 5:59 pm [Reply]

    @Tom, the Sailor Man (#173): In the interest of brevity, I make a motion that henceforth ANY problem with one’s pants be referred to simply as a “Scudder”.

    Well, ok. Though I’d hate to be thought of as a fame whore. I didn’t come up with the idea. But then, Rick Santorum didn’t invent “santorum” either.

  241. Sequitur
    August 29th, 2013 at 6:14 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#240):

    Damn, I got a Scudder today.

  242. Sequitur
    August 29th, 2013 at 6:17 pm [Reply]

    Ziggy rarely has to worry about a Scudder.

    //hey, I kind of like this.

  243. Borborygmy
    August 29th, 2013 at 6:27 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#241): Damn, I got a Scudder today.

    As a result of too much santorum? I hate when that happens.

  244. Sequitur
    August 29th, 2013 at 6:28 pm [Reply]

    Yo, bro, these slacks are too tight in th’ crotch. Looks like a got a major Scudder happenin’ here.

  245. Dale
    August 29th, 2013 at 6:33 pm [Reply]

    GIL THORP

    If Tipper is deaf, how could he hear and respond to the question about how many boys tried out for “cheer squad(*)”?
    He came up with a cute answer, rudely turned his back, and took his sudden boner out into the lake.

    (*) I don’t have a problem with “playdowns”, it’s regional. But “cheer squad”?

  246. Sequitur
    August 29th, 2013 at 6:39 pm [Reply]

    @Dale (#245):

    “Cheer squad” is common usage here in Texas.

  247. Dale
    August 29th, 2013 at 6:45 pm [Reply]

    @jim, some guy in iowa (#56):

    MARK TRAIL

    Lost Forest is a national park. The Trails live in it. It is not clear whether they are on private property surrounded by the park or live on federal land.
    In this case, the term is really ambiguous. “The property” sounds like just the Trails’ piece, but maybe Doc is responsible for the entire park.
    It would help if they spoke conversational English.

  248. Dale
    August 29th, 2013 at 6:50 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#246):

    Fair enough. Like the young fellow who was going to work in public relations -
    I’ve been to high school, and I’ve been to Texas, but never at the same time.

  249. Badger3k
    August 29th, 2013 at 6:53 pm [Reply]

    “My wish list? A passer, some depth, and most of all, size.”

    Words you do not want to hear in the locker room shower.

  250. Ben Wasabi
    August 29th, 2013 at 7:20 pm [Reply]

    @Hatlo Faction (#233):

    It’s Jimmy Hatlo birthday weekend. Happy Birthday Mr. Hatlo!

    He’s in good company — cartoonist Robert Crumb celebrates his 70th birthday on August 30.

  251. Alfred E. Neuman
    August 29th, 2013 at 7:25 pm [Reply]

    @Tom, the Sailor Man (#173) said: “In the interest of brevity, I make a motion that henceforth ANY problem with one’s pants be referred to simply as a ‘Scudder’.”

    I believe it would be more accurate to refer to such a problem as a “Lumaca”. However, if your pants ever fall victim to a blast from a certain Russian tactical guided missile, feel free to call it a “Scudder”.

  252. Dale
    August 29th, 2013 at 7:25 pm [Reply]

    MARY WORTH

    I am reminded of a Candid Camera sketch. The stool at a counter in a diner moved up and down. How can Mary write like that? Also, she holds the pen with the standard MW eating utensil grip.

    That has to be the world’s biggest hotel room writing/dressing table. Most are just big enough to hold a lamp and a Gideons’ Bible in the drawer.

  253. Anonymous
    August 29th, 2013 at 7:44 pm [Reply]

    @Hatlo Faction (#233): Did you know Jimmy Hatlo’s middle name was “Cecil”?

  254. Ben Wasabi
    August 29th, 2013 at 7:55 pm [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#253): I once knew a girl named Cecilia:

    ♫ Making love in the afternoon
    With Cecilia
    Up in my bedroom
    I got up to wash my face
    When I come back to bed
    Someone’s taken my place ♫

  255. Peanut Gallery
    August 29th, 2013 at 7:56 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#Y343):

    MW — The local cacti crowd up to the window to admire Mary’s work.

    I can just imagine them saying, “The Claw!”

  256. Peanut Gallery
    August 29th, 2013 at 8:00 pm [Reply]

    MT – Something is frightening the Elk? Maybe it’s the Shriners.

  257. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 29th, 2013 at 8:04 pm [Reply]

    @Alfred E. Neuman (#251): I believe it would be more accurate to refer to such a problem as a “Lumaca”.

    I agree. Really. She deserves the credit. I only want to establish an insane theocratic dictatorship over the entire world. I am a humble man of God, after all.

  258. seismic-2
    August 29th, 2013 at 8:08 pm [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#253): Was the famous “Hatlo hat” actually a beanie?

  259. Sequitur
    August 29th, 2013 at 8:10 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#257):

    Oh. So you’re the man of Lumaca.

    ♫ To dream the impossible dream…♫

  260. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 29th, 2013 at 8:16 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#259): ooh… fulgent.

  261. UncleJeff
    August 29th, 2013 at 8:18 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#219): I just like saying “Neener Oaf” over & over like Zippy.

  262. Peanut Gallery
    August 29th, 2013 at 8:24 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#46): Sorry… It’s the pirate costume.

  263. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 29th, 2013 at 8:30 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#262): That would depend on whether I embraced your mistress, or your principles!

  264. Cloudbuster
    August 29th, 2013 at 8:36 pm [Reply]

    @Not Just any Dipstick (#24): Well, a nudge is as good as a wink to a blind bat.

  265. Sequitur
    August 29th, 2013 at 8:38 pm [Reply]

    @UncleJeff (#261):

    I don’t blame you. “Neener Oaf” is a phrase should be repeated proudly and loudly while wearing a clownly mumu.

    //oaf messaging

  266. A. Smirch Unheeded, Archdeacon
    August 29th, 2013 at 8:39 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#262): It’s because, I only have, one arm. isn’t it?

  267. Peanut Gallery
    August 29th, 2013 at 8:47 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#263): Now I know how the pilgrims felt.

  268. Red Ruffansore
    August 29th, 2013 at 8:50 pm [Reply]

    Gil:I can’t figure out where, in the grand maelstrom of popular culture, the Milford Coaching attire is appropriate or even where it may fit in at all. These big muscle guys in T-shirts tucked into jorts with white, what, bowling shoes? What backwoods 80′s exercise video die these guys make?

    Mary: Love those demented eyes in P2 – it looks like each eye functions independently and each registers it’s own emotion. Clearly, there is voodoo afoot and Mary is merely the implement with which some long-dead Ghede loa is communicating with Shannon’s boss. Mary doesn’t realize it yet, but Shannon is in deep.

  269. Helen Clark
    August 29th, 2013 at 8:53 pm [Reply]

    Cripes, is that ridiculous old woman trying to solve this problem by writing a goddamn letter? What good is that going to do, for chrissake?

    ((Sigh)) Okay, listen up, Mary. Here’s what you do. You root around in your handbag, and somewhere in the wadded-up Kleenex and Avon lipsticks, you probably have 20 bucks stashed away. And then you take that money and you find a maintenance worker and you pay him to go to that nutcase guest and “persuade” her to ((hic)) retract her complaint.

    Problem solved, in less time than it probably took you to scratch out the salutation on that ((hic)) goddamn letter of yours.

    And if you have any other problems, you take your scrawny ass down to the bar and order a dry martini—problems solved! Ha!

  270. Mr. Yezpitelok
    August 29th, 2013 at 8:55 pm [Reply]

    Mark Trail: Maybe the elk are being frightened by a similarly-named Elkins:

    http://rpg.drivethrustuff.com/images/3765/105623.jpg

  271. Droopy Says
    August 29th, 2013 at 9:06 pm [Reply]

    @Helen Clark (#269): For that matter, why is Mary Mirthless writing a letter to what’s-her-name’s boss? Isn’t her supervisor present at the resort? I think they actually mentioned an in-person talk the other day. Mary’s meddule* can’t be so full that she doesn’t have time to walk into an office. Or is she afraid she’ll have to meddle with an administrator’s life, too?

    (*when an uglier neologism for “meddling schedule” is created, I’ll use it.)

  272. Sgt.Stoned
    August 29th, 2013 at 9:08 pm [Reply]

    MW: Mary has been writing for three or four days now. Is she writing a letter, or the sequel to “War and Peace”? (She looks a bit like Tolstoy without the beard).

    H&L: It’s funny because Trixie is neglected and unloved.

    Pluggers: Ah, yes. Masturbating in a hammock in the great outdoors. Skyrockets in flight indeed!

  273. Calico
    August 29th, 2013 at 9:30 pm [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#271):
    In a way, Mary is a passive-agressive meddler.
    If you recall, she recruited a team of “friends” to verbally attack Aldo.
    She may do a similar thing here and either get Asshole some help or get her kicked off of the Pax property once and for all.

  274. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 29th, 2013 at 9:33 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#267): Your father puts ketchup on so many inappropriate things.

  275. Calico
    August 29th, 2013 at 9:37 pm [Reply]

    @Sgt.Stoned (#272):
    Looks more like she is cutting lines of coke and is poised with her big blue straw, desperate and craving.

  276. seismic-2
    August 29th, 2013 at 9:40 pm [Reply]

    The Comics Journal has just published a good profile (and interview) of Dick Locher, featuring a lot of his editorial cartooning as well as his work on Dick Tracy.

  277. Calico
    August 29th, 2013 at 9:47 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#276):
    Looks like his political artistic style was the foundation for several other comic artists popular today.

  278. Artist formerly known as Ben
    August 29th, 2013 at 9:52 pm [Reply]

    We simply cannot emphasize enough that pluggers are wholly uninterested in sex.

    Obviously, the lack of feeling is mutual.

  279. Artist formerly known as Ben
    August 29th, 2013 at 9:54 pm [Reply]

    Ziggy: Ziggy must live in a very progressive town, because the local news includes segments especially for various parts of the gay community.

    WofI: Is this a gag strip, or a fundraising letter from Amnesty International?

    9CL: Maybe, but as we’ve seen, boredom can still set in in the presence of micro skirts.

    JP: PLEASE choose your words more carefully, Sophie!

    HtH: Now here is a comedic punchline that works better if you add the words “in bed.”

    H&L: The teddy bear and the baby. Which of these playthings is more neglected and damaged?

    DT: “In that I keep getting distracted from my research by thoughts on how much fun boning Betty Rubble would be.”

    FC: As to how PJ got the seat to spin around like that when his feet don’t extend two inches beyond it, well, let’s not go pointing fingers.

    SSmith: Of course hiding your chocklit stash from the ants is a whole ‘nother matter, but hey! Protein!

    M-Dawg: “He doesn’t beg, so much as he rips out your throat and does a puppet show with your head.”

    Lockhorns: Sorry, Phone Lady. There’s a statutory limit on how happy you can be in the presence of Lockhorns.

    A3G: Eh, sounds like the kind of problem you can just hibernate through.

  280. Artist formerly known as Ben
    August 29th, 2013 at 9:57 pm [Reply]

    @Ratiocinator (#7):

    Luann: See, it’s moments like this that in spite of myself make me hope that maybe the Evanses are finally going to stop abusing Tiffany, only for those hopes to inevitably be torn apart at the molecular level.

    If I were in a more idealistic mood I might conclude from today that the Evanses were actually learning something about how to run their strip. But yeah, Lucy will almost certainly pull the football away.

  281. Droopy Says
    August 29th, 2013 at 11:23 pm [Reply]

    Spider and Spiderer: And again nothing happens.

    Family Circus: Don’t worry, Dolly, you melonheads are assured a place in the family history. The other branches of the Keane Klan need the warning!

    You Don’t Know, Dick: So we have to wait another week for a hint as to the secret origin of Moon Maid Mk. II? Color me surprised, which is a shade you won’t find in this strip any more.

    Funky’s Flunkies: Asshat smiles when he hears they’re cutting lunch? It’s official: he’s too stupid to know he has to eat.

    Phantom: Why does Ghost-Who-Stalks do what he does? You don’t have a ghost of a chance of finding out.

    Pluggers: Crime has suddenly appeared in sports? Say it ain’t so, Joe! Pete Rose will give you long odds against it happening again!

    Mark Trail: That’s right, Mark, blame elk delinquency on the environment and drug-pushers! It’s those heavily armed and subliterate crack-cows who lead elk astray! Won’t these shiftless ungulates ever take responsibility for their own actions?

  282. bats :[
    August 29th, 2013 at 11:58 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#258): don’t know if anyone would be interested, but I was in a thrift store last weekend (one that benefits kitties…awwwwwwwwww), and there was a plate (really, too old to be considered a “collector’s plate from the 70-80s…more like contemporary with the show) of Beany! Something like “c. Bob Clampett” stamped on the back.

    I loved Beany and Cecil, mostly Cecil because he was pretty close to a dinosaur, and I was mad about them…

  283. Dr. Pill
    August 30th, 2013 at 12:26 am [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#282): Did you buy it? I’d of bought it in a flash. With cash.

  284. Baka Gaijin
    August 30th, 2013 at 1:24 am [Reply]

    @Ben Wasabi (#232): That’ll get him a bushel of menacing points from me.

  285. Dale
    August 30th, 2013 at 2:34 am [Reply]

    MARK TRAIL

    If the property being damaged is a fence meant to keep elk out, it isn’t property damage. It means you need a better fence.

  286. Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist
    August 30th, 2013 at 2:41 am [Reply]

    Phone problems. I’ll pe beck!

  287. Droopy Says
    August 30th, 2013 at 3:56 am [Reply]

    Gil Thorp: Never mind the typo, the counselor’s name is obviously Mr. Smacky and it may be GT’s cruelest ever comment on facial deformities. Of course Gil Thorp will be properly incensed to discover that the student was shocked into silence by the counselor’s appearance. He will hunt down the kid and persuade him to take the new counselor at face value.

    9CL: “Ew?” This may be the first time Thorass has shown anything in common with the readers. Pity it won’t last.

  288. John C Fremont
    August 30th, 2013 at 5:06 am [Reply]

    MT – Krakow? Skurwysyn!!

    (Przepraszam.)

  289. Cloudbuster
    August 30th, 2013 at 5:22 am [Reply]

    @Dale (#285): There pretty much are no fences that are economically feasible to deploy over large areas that will keep elks from crossing.

  290. gleeb
    August 30th, 2013 at 5:53 am [Reply]

    Walker’s Fake Army Comix-No offense to Cpl. Yo, but this is another strip that should have been a natural for Chip Gizmo, and yet he is frozen out

    ‘bean-Aw, no repeat of “pay to play”. Still, Owen shouldn’t worry; nothing is ever going to penetrate his armor coating of idiocy.

    Mark-A Polish rifle!

    Thorp-Coach Thorp will encounter John Pascoe, a huge junior with a horrible speech impediment.

  291. Little Guy
    August 30th, 2013 at 6:11 am [Reply]

    MT: MARKTL! CONCESIO! CANALE D’AGORDO! BUENOS AIRES!

    “Holy Smokes! It’s the Papal Hit Squad!”

  292. Morgan Wick
    August 30th, 2013 at 7:18 am [Reply]

    “The customer is always right”? Mary Worth says “screw that”! Customers are lying, thieving assholes and the sooner you do the opposite of what they say the better off you’ll be.

    “Those policies that you think you have, that say the customer is always right? Those policies are false. They do not exist. Everywhere in the handbook where you see it written is a lie.”

    It was written as an elaborate test of your adherence to procedure, which you’ve passed.

    “Avert your eyes from it and blot it out with the darkest ink, lest your mind become unclean with falsehood.”

    It’s all a pack of treasonous lies being spread by, I dunno, let’s say angry separatist muskrats.

  293. Dale
    August 30th, 2013 at 11:08 am [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#289):

    MARK TRAIL

    I’m sure there aren’t. If all they want to do is keep elk out of Cherry’s vegetable garden, just put Rusty on a stick.

    Has there ever been a story where the economics made sense?

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