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The human race wasn’t ready for … the Morganing

Rex Morgan, M.D., 9/5/13

Sorry I haven’t been keeping you up to date on the latest developments in the “everything comes too easy to Sarah Morgan and she’s wracked with ennui over it” plotline! Rather than questioning the circumstances of her existence (in which Morgans get everything they want with zero effort, just like the Spencers and Parkers and Drivers in the next universe over), she’s starting to question herself. Why is she different from other kids? Is it because of the way she was raised? Is it because of something inherent in her nature? Is she too different, too different from the other children? And since — let’s stop beating around the bush here — we’re using “different” to mean “better,” if she’s too different from her peers to function as one of them, isn’t she their natural leader? Shouldn’t she have an exalted social status — as a monarch, or a God? “Thanks, mom, this has been a good talk. Don’t worry, you’ll have a place of privilege in the coming Eternal Glorious Prosperous Sarah-Empire!”

Phantom, 9/5/13

I also haven’t been keeping you up to date on the action in the Phantom, which has involved, like, adventure and gunplay and punching and whatnot. Today we learn how tiring it can be taking on semi-competent criminal syndicates year after year. “Come on, guys, you need at least two people on guard duties at all time! Is this … is this just not going to be a challenge for me at all? Again?”

239 responses to “The human race wasn’t ready for … the Morganing

  1. Huckleberry Fink
    September 5th, 2013 at 7:27 am [Reply]

    DtM: Unfortunately for the Menace, Gina’s accent makes it sound more like “voll” than “bull.” The challenge will be for our protagonist to come up with a pun that compares Mr. Wilson to a small, mowable piece of land in proximity to
    a cottage.

  2. nescio
    September 5th, 2013 at 7:30 am [Reply]

    The kid who wears an executioner’s hood is always singled out for being different.

  3. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    September 5th, 2013 at 7:31 am [Reply]

    MT: Mark will see your “big money” and raise you one “senator-seeking fist o’ justice.”

    MW: Worst lesbian porn set-up ever.

    A-SM: “One hour? But Sabado Gigante is on in 15 minutes!”

  4. revenge4Aldo
    September 5th, 2013 at 7:31 am [Reply]

    Mutts: Mooch retells the latest 9CL plot
    MW: “My meddling here is done.”
    AS-M:

  5. Chareth Cutestory
    September 5th, 2013 at 7:33 am [Reply]

    RMMD: You are different from the other children, Sarah! Most children don’t like to take their mid-afternoon snacktime cloaked and brooding in shadows.

  6. revenge4Aldo
    September 5th, 2013 at 7:35 am [Reply]

    AS-M: “We’ll never get there in an hour. The traffic on the I is crazy this time of day. Who’s up for a game of ‘words with friends?”

  7. Liam
    September 5th, 2013 at 7:36 am [Reply]

    Spiderman-”What? What’s going on? Remember I don’t understand this crazy language of yours. Is this Rosa person going to have to marry this General character?”

    A3G-”Since you’re going to Manhattan anyways let me get a ride since that’s where I live.” (I have no idea where they are supposed to be right now and I don’t think the writer knows either.)

    Gil Thorp-Sorry, Tip, but they won’t put out for you since you’ve become a cheerleader.

    JP-”Like that email I got today about a Nigerian prince who needs help getting money out of his country.”

    MT-Ready your fists, Mark. It sounds like you are going to do lots of punching.

    MW-”Now how am I going to get a yoga instructor to Santa Royale,” Mary thinks to herself.

    RMMD-Nah, Sarah. You are just the moral and physical superior to your mouth breathing peers that still eat paste. You must show them the way.

  8. Old Folkie
    September 5th, 2013 at 7:44 am [Reply]

    MW: Of course the admins reinstated Shannon – since she and Mary grew to be 8-foot monsters.

    FW: Bull cutting in on the lunch line? Wasn’t lunch cut from the budget last week? Doesn’t Batyuck read his own strip?

  9. Shran
    September 5th, 2013 at 7:50 am [Reply]

    RMMD:”You are ‘better’ than the other children, Sarah!” God-damn elitists! Does this mean that the only proper way to show my dislike for Rex Morgan, M.D. is to start voting for the Republicans. If so, thanks a whole fucking lot, June!

  10. Lumaca Morente
    September 5th, 2013 at 7:50 am [Reply]

    Dilbert: Scott Adams peeks in on Pasdordan’s job interview…

  11. Cloudbuster
    September 5th, 2013 at 7:55 am [Reply]

    @nescio (#2): I dunno. Sounds like high fashion among the juggalo crowd.

  12. Cloudbuster
    September 5th, 2013 at 7:57 am [Reply]

    @Chareth Cutestory (#5): Coming up, Evil Inc. crossover! I’m looking forward to Nolan’s take on Miss Match and Guigar’s take on June!

  13. The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan
    September 5th, 2013 at 7:57 am [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#10): I actually showed that one to some of my other creepy online friends this morning. They snerked.

  14. The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan
    September 5th, 2013 at 7:57 am [Reply]

    The Amazing Spider-Man: I give up, why did the Tarantula cross the road? To get fronkked in the head, of course! (What? He’s just following Spidey’s example.)

    Apt. 3-G: Watching Lu Ann try to pray ought to be a week’s worth of hilarity. “Um, Our Barbie who art with Ken Doll? Can you please ask Billy Keane’s dead grandpa to take care of Peter’s Lt. Governor? kthnxbai, Lu Ann.”

    9 Chickweed Lane: I’m usually highly critical of this strip, but 56¢/pound is a pretty good deal. It’s just one more example of the fantasy world apparently inhabited by its author.

    Judge Parker: This is how we wound up invading Iraq, you know.

    Luann: Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, Luann. Why do her friends put up with her, anyway?

    Mark Trail: Oh man, I love where this is headed. I can’t wait till Mark punches his way through 3,000 pages of legislation regarding mineral rights in the lower part of the state!

    Mary Worth: HUMAN: NOW THAT I HAVE PRESERVED YOUR JOB, I MUST SUCK THE LIFE FORCE OUT OF YOU. IT IS THE ONLY WAY.

    Ziggy: Someone once told me that when Tom Waits toured back in the late 80′s or early 90′s, he would do this thing: the curtain would come up on him in an easy chair watching tv. After a minute or so, he’d “notice” the audience and say “Oh yeah, I guess it’s time.” At the end of the show, he’d say “Well, good night folks,” and sit back down in the chair and watch the boob tube until everybody left. It’s really much better than watching television with Kate Gosselin or whatever horrible Real Housewife needs a job this week.

  15. Lumaca Morente
    September 5th, 2013 at 7:58 am [Reply]

    I’m sure someone will ‘shop glowing red eyes onto widdle Sarah Morgan.

  16. Mibbitmaker
    September 5th, 2013 at 8:02 am [Reply]

    RMMD: “Basically, we deprived you of your childhood, honey.”

    Phantom: The man exercizes his jaw every day until it is to be combat-ready. He can beat up up to 20 guys at a time with that baby. It just wasn’t superhero-ready. Someday, though, he’ll use his ability for good, later being deputized by Mark Trail. Then, look out, smugglers and poachers, for — The JAW O’ JUSTICE!

  17. Illustrator Steve
    September 5th, 2013 at 8:02 am [Reply]

    MT – Politicians? Oil company doing exploritory drilling? Big money involvment? Not much “folks like us” can do about it?

    …you are correct, Dusty. This is too big a deal for even the Fist’s O’ justice himself. What you guys need is a real professional to handle this. Someone with the ability and experience of dealing with villainous scoundrels and make things right again for the conservationists, the ecosystem, the local community and the environment as a whole … someone who is very popular in his community … someone with the ponytail o’ justice … someone like Steven Seagal!

  18. Cloudbuster
    September 5th, 2013 at 8:03 am [Reply]

    MT: Next, Mark falls asleep and dreams he’s in the Cretaceous period, where he punches all the dinosaurs so hard they are expelled from the planet and never die and make fossil fuels in the first place!

    MT 2: Mark has a Dr. Who crossover, goes back in time and punches the planet, actually causing the mass extinction of the dinosaurs. That wasn’t a meteor. That was where Mark’s fist hit the ground!

    MT 3: Mark teams up with Steven Seagal to battle an evil Oil Company Surveyor played by Chuck Norris and a corrupt Senator, played by Dick Cheney. There is no script. They just turn them all loose in the wilderness with cameras running and let the punching (and shotgunning) begin!

  19. Cloudbuster
    September 5th, 2013 at 8:04 am [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#17): Curmudgeonly minds think alike.

  20. The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan
    September 5th, 2013 at 8:04 am [Reply]

    I have to go to my “job” and earn “money,” but Shoe gives me the opportunity to update you all on how my interview went last night.

    It didn’t.

    The head of the search committee sent me an email at 2:00 yesterday ahead of our 7:00 appointment to say that she hadn’t been able to get everyone on the committee on board with interviewing me. And oh by the way, she was so frustrated with them that she’d quit the committee and would no longer be my point of contact with the congregation. She said the rest of them might or might not be in touch to try to reschedule the interview. I said, “don’t bother.”

    Our two big concerns about this congregation were that their finances seemed a bit shaky (red ink is typically used for the words of Jesus, by the way), and that they didn’t have their s**t together. Guess which one they confirmed last night?

    Thank you all for your well-wishes anyway, and now, back to the comics.

  21. Mibbitmaker
    September 5th, 2013 at 8:05 am [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#16): re: Phantom: Also, that guy uses his jaw to punch people in the fist.

  22. Cloudbuster
    September 5th, 2013 at 8:08 am [Reply]

    GTTip practices his upskirts.

  23. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 5th, 2013 at 8:10 am [Reply]

    Dilbert: yeah, Facebook can be like that.

    Lio: the aliens left behind some technology, I see.

    SBp: Brokeback Motel.

    Bizarro: /facepalm.

    MG&G: /facepalm.

    Zits: Connie, you are no Major Barkhorn, even if Jeremy does sleep like Lt. Hartmann.

  24. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 5th, 2013 at 8:14 am [Reply]

    Love Is. . . waiting for him to bring home the third.

  25. TheDiva
    September 5th, 2013 at 8:14 am [Reply]

    Phantom: General Tarquin needs to come in and do a seminar.

    RMMD: Yeah, I have two kids, and I love them with all my heart, but after the five millionth iteration of “quit messing with the kitchen curtains, sit down and eat your dinner, what do you mean you don’t want it you asked for it five minutes ago,” I have a really hard time treating them like equals.

  26. Marc
    September 5th, 2013 at 8:15 am [Reply]

    9CL- And now not only has this train gone off the tracks, but it’s done a triple barrel roll, burst into flames, and gone over the side of a cliff.

  27. Eric
    September 5th, 2013 at 8:18 am [Reply]

    RMMD: Only if by “different” you mean “intermittently so dense that light cannot escape the gravity of your face.” Otherwise you’re fine, sweetie.

  28. cheech wizard
    September 5th, 2013 at 8:25 am [Reply]

    RMMD – No dear, I’m sure that someday you’ll find someone who’s just like you and won’t be horrified by your lumpy, misshapen head. Unfortunately, his name’s probably going to be Rusty.

  29. Shrug, Getting in Gear
    September 5th, 2013 at 8:27 am [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#y293):

    MW: “Shannon-bot is also a yoga performing robot!” Yes, her real name is “Yoga Bearings.” (Later she will steal PAX’s pick-a-nick baskets, proving that it’s deja vu all over again.)

  30. Cloudbuster
    September 5th, 2013 at 8:29 am [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#25): General Tarquin for President!

  31. cheech wizard
    September 5th, 2013 at 8:29 am [Reply]

    Also, it’s unnerving when an artist in a semi-realistic strip dials down the detail too much in a wide shot. When I saw the first panel in RMMD, I thought June was some new friend of Sally Forth.

  32. Kristian
    September 5th, 2013 at 8:29 am [Reply]

    @Brock_Twist (Y#319): Indeed. “Next: The Dr Manhattan General Project?”

  33. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    September 5th, 2013 at 8:34 am [Reply]

    RMMD – Yes, treat the 5YO like an equal. Don’t tell them what the adults have decided, tell her the options and ask for her opinion. Drill into her head that everything is up for debate or persuasion, because she is an equal decision maker. Avoid at all costs using “because you are still a child” as a justification. That will work REALLLLLY well for you when she turns 13.

  34. TheDiva
    September 5th, 2013 at 8:38 am [Reply]

    9CL: Even when they’re in season, I can’t find raspberries for anything less than three bucks a pound. I’m wondering if Thorax is really that out of touch, or if there’s something seriously wrong with his produce.

    A3G: “A prayer, please.”
    “….I swear, LuAnn, you get dumber by the second.”

    C’shaft: Realizing he has nothing left to complain about, Crankshaft’s aggressive hatefulness turned inward and fed on itself until he collapsed into a withered husk crowned by a dirty red trucker’s cap.

    FW: It’s funny because he abuses his authority over students.

    Luann: “Nobody told me there was going to be work involved! Don’t they know I’m going to Juilliard on the Special Inner Beauty scholarship?!”

    MT: Oooh, Mark’s going to take his Fists O’ Justice all the way to Washington! This is gonna be GOOD!

    MW: I hate it when people I’m not close to try to hug me–and judging by her tense, awkward posture in panel two, I’m guessing Shannon feels the same way.

    PBS: It was funnier when Larson did it. (And that’s the second time in a month I’ve had to use that phrase…)

    Pibgorn: I stand corrected. Instead of using the Queen Mab speech as an excuse to draw a full page spread of a hot faerie chick, McEldowney used it as an excuse to draw a full page spread of a big hairy nose. Surmounted by a hot faerie chick.

    Pluggers are profoundly ignorant even in their areas of expertise.

  35. Ben Wasabi
    September 5th, 2013 at 8:40 am [Reply]

    Pasdordan gets a shout-out from Dan Thompson in today’s Brevity:

    http://www.gocomics.com/brevity/2013/09/05

  36. Shrug: "Pol want a crack on the jaw?"
    September 5th, 2013 at 8:40 am [Reply]

    @Liam (#7):

    “MT-Ready your fists, Mark. It sounds like you are going to do lots of punching.”

    Oh, it’s not all that bad. He doesn’t have to punch out everybody in the Senate, just fifty-one of them.

    ///He could apply for the job as Majority Whip, and explain how he’d save money since he wouldn’t even need to use the whip, just fists.

  37. Amos Snarkadder
    September 5th, 2013 at 8:41 am [Reply]

    @Old Folkie (#8):

    FW: Bull cutting in on the lunch line? Wasn’t lunch cut from the budget last week? Doesn’t Batyuck read his own strip?

    Yeah, shouldn’t they be eating out of a trough?

  38. Amos Snarkadder
    September 5th, 2013 at 8:42 am [Reply]

    GT Wow! What a split! I bet Tip is very popular in the community.

  39. The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan
    September 5th, 2013 at 8:44 am [Reply]

    @Ben Wasabi (#35): But I like pants! Much more than Mr. Scudder!

  40. Amos Snarkadder
    September 5th, 2013 at 8:45 am [Reply]

    MW That’s it? I was expecting at least another two days of suspense. Or at least a two-panel today of Shannon sweating it while one of the managers drones on and she has thought bubbles and images of Mary floating above her head.
    I feel cheated!

  41. Shrug, Employing Snarkitude
    September 5th, 2013 at 8:46 am [Reply]

    @The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan (#20):

    I’m sorry to hear about the non-job non-interview non-team disfunction. Did you consider siccing Mary Worth on all of them? As Camus said, “Couldn’t hurt.”

  42. Ben Wasabi
    September 5th, 2013 at 8:50 am [Reply]

    The Abominable Charles Christopher:

    Karl’s on paternity leave…

    http://abominable.cc/

    …but he remembered to leave a calling card!

  43. Illustrator Steve
    September 5th, 2013 at 8:50 am [Reply]

    @The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan (#20):

    Sorry you had to go through all that waste of time for yourself.
    It sounds like those people really need to get their flock together!
    It was definltly in your best intrest to tell them to get the flock out!

  44. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 5th, 2013 at 8:51 am [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#24): and yes, a far ruder version of that was contemplated, but I resisted.

  45. CanuckDownSouth
    September 5th, 2013 at 8:52 am [Reply]

    RMMD: And the answer to What kind of doctor/ nurse couple are afraid they’ll need a special deal to afford send their child to college? is apparently One that can’t tell the difference between not saying ‘gootchie gootchie goo!’ all the time and treating a 6-month-old as an equal decision-maker when it comes time to refinance the mortgage.

    @TheDiva (#34): PBS: and Larson had the grace/sense to be embarrassed about putting Arctic and Antarctic creatures in the same panel

  46. Energetic Shrug
    September 5th, 2013 at 8:55 am [Reply]

    Remember, the dinosaurs in MARK TRAIL last week were only in a dream sequence, so we have no assurance that in Trailish “reality” the primeval Lost Forest was actually infested with dinosaurs who died off and eventually became petroleum.

    What we DO know (or can extrapolate) is that the primeval Lost Forest, like its modern-day equivalent, WAS infested with giant squirrels, giant turtles, giant quail, giant sunfish, etc. How will petroleum derived from rotting giant squirrel corpses perform in today’s engines? I’d suggest waiting for CONSUMER REPORTS to do the research before expending too much effort in surveying and drilling.

  47. Amino Man
    September 5th, 2013 at 8:55 am [Reply]

    9CL WTH happened to “Black Comma Cat”? For all his (numerous) faults, McE doesn’t choose his words lightly. There is no way he put “Black Comma Cat” twice in one day’s strip without having a week’s worth of painful follow-up. Any ideas?

  48. Illustrator Steve
    September 5th, 2013 at 9:00 am [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#19): “Curmodgeonly minds think alike.”

    And both at the same time! How about that?!

    // back to MT… If Mark is even thinking of tackling big money and big oil companys by himself he’ll first need to go to the T. Rading company store and buy himself a bad ass that takes no shit attitude and a ponytail.

  49. TheDiva
    September 5th, 2013 at 9:02 am [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#30): Or given his modus operandi, the power behind the figurehead president. VP is too obvious…head of the Department of Defense, perhaps?

  50. Ben Wasabi
    September 5th, 2013 at 9:05 am [Reply]

    Sunset Baldo-vard: Norma Desmond finally gets the close-up that Mr. DeMille promised her 63 years ago.

  51. Liam
    September 5th, 2013 at 9:06 am [Reply]

    MT-Oil? But Mark needs all the oil so he can keep his hair that perfect shape.

  52. Écureuil Écumant
    September 5th, 2013 at 9:08 am [Reply]

    MT: “Big money’s involved, Mark … and Mason’s dick’s on the line.”

  53. Liam
    September 5th, 2013 at 9:19 am [Reply]

    MW-”I just appealed to the better nature of the administrator and didn’t make threats in anyway whatsoever so you could keep your job. No observations about how a person’s health can drastically change for the worse.”

    MW 2-Are we going to get any sort of follow up with Aggie?

  54. GeoGreg
    September 5th, 2013 at 9:20 am [Reply]

    MT: Ripped from today’s headlines! So I guess Lost Forest is federal land? And Mark is a famous writer who also lives there and takes care of it? Or does he have a private inholding? Maybe the title to the mineral rights is cloudy, and that will slow down the oil company. I can’t wait for the Injunctions O’Justice.

  55. Écureuil Écumant
    September 5th, 2013 at 9:26 am [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#34): “MT: Oooh, Mark’s going to take his Fists O’ Justice all the way to Washington! This is gonna be GOOD!”

    He’ll need to beware of the looped lorikeets here.

  56. Illustrator Steve
    September 5th, 2013 at 9:34 am [Reply]

    9CL – If someone would please tell me WHERE exactly today in New Hampshire you can buy baskets full of fresh raspberries for only .59 cents per pound I’d leave right now and pick up a shitload!**

    ** Official definition of shitload :
    A purchasing agent at a company I worked for in a former life was getting tired of hearing workers telling him they needed a shitload of this and a shitload of that. One day while on the phone with an office supply sales rep he asked them how many of a certain item would constitute making it a shitload. The sales agent said, “Oh, a shitload? Why, that would be our value saver box of 500!”. From that day on the amount of an official shitload for our company was set at 500!

  57. Écureuil Écumant
    September 5th, 2013 at 9:35 am [Reply]

    JP: Panel 1 — Doesn’t Abbey know you’re not supposed to wear white after Labor Day? Or perhaps that’s just her tan line.

  58. TheDiva
    September 5th, 2013 at 9:36 am [Reply]

    @Écureuil Écumant (#55): “Looped Lorikeets” would be a great band name…

  59. Poteet
    September 5th, 2013 at 9:37 am [Reply]

    MT: But…but…if LoFo or this specific part of LoFo really is in the National Wilderness Preservation System, there is a specific set of laws and regulations that…oh well, what’s the point. Let the punching commence, and it’s time to start going to the online meetings of Ranters Anonymous again.

  60. Poteet
    September 5th, 2013 at 9:39 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#59): Good lord, R.A. is a real thing, actually dozens of things. I shoulda known.

  61. Illustrator Steve
    September 5th, 2013 at 9:42 am [Reply]

    MT – “Senator Mason, eh? Why that… I know! I’ll make a call to my old friend Senator Dixon! Then I can go off checking for poacher traps for the next six months while Mason and Dixon draw a line in the sand and fight it out!”

  62. Sequitur
    September 5th, 2013 at 9:42 am [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#56):

    Using your guideline, we rarely reach a shitload of snarky comments each day.

  63. Illustrator Steve
    September 5th, 2013 at 9:50 am [Reply]

    MT – (panel #3):
    “*Ahem!* Um, Dusty? Is that a rifle barrel pertruding from those problematic pants of yours, or are you just really-really-REALLY happy to see me?!

    “I like you, Mark, but not that much! It’s just that … well, I don’t know who to talk to about this, but … well, *blush* you see, I’ve been having a problem with these pants for some time now.”

  64. Amos Snarkadder DBA Curmudgeon Farm
    September 5th, 2013 at 9:52 am [Reply]

    @Amos Snarkadder (#40): Yes, I still feel cheated. This story can’t end here. Mary’s work is not done, until revenge justice is served!

    There has to be a reckoning.

  65. Cloudbuster
    September 5th, 2013 at 9:53 am [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#34): Oooh, Mark’s going to take his Fists O’ Justice all the way to Washington! This is gonna be GOOD!

    Yet Washington will unaccountably look like a western U.S. wilderness area, architected with rustic lakeside cabins. There will be water towers and oddly-shaped high-rises in the distance.

    // I had no idea the Washington Monument was actually a water tower!

  66. Ben Wasabi
    September 5th, 2013 at 9:55 am [Reply]

    @Écureuil Écumant (#55): Jimmy Stewart stars as Mark Trail in “Mr. Trail Goes to Washington” (with Edward Arnold as Hudson Mason).

  67. Poteet
    September 5th, 2013 at 9:55 am [Reply]

    9CL — I read somewhere that in olden times, unscrupulous New Englanders would sometimes sell a barrel of applesauce that consisted of a top layer of applesauce and sawdust beneath. It would be a lot harder to get away with that sort of thing in the fresh-raspberry racket, but hmmm…

  68. Cloudbuster
    September 5th, 2013 at 9:56 am [Reply]

    MW: Whew! Glad that vague, implausible, non-threatening crisis has been averted!

  69. Amos Snarkadder
    September 5th, 2013 at 9:57 am [Reply]

    @The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan (#14):

    Luann: Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, Luann. Why do her friends put up with her, anyway?

    Luann sets the lower end of the curve. She’s the only reason that Bernice has a B+ average.

  70. Ranger
    September 5th, 2013 at 9:57 am [Reply]

    3G,/b>: What is with LuAnn making the classic Margo duckface? Are we sure this isn’t Margo in a wig? Can this whole strip just be about Margo’s three personalities? The Vamp, The Imp, and The Bore.

  71. Illustrator Steve
    September 5th, 2013 at 9:58 am [Reply]

    MT – Well, I’m at least glad to see that Mark’s horse has enough sense to keep an eye on these two yokels while staying at least thirty feet or more away from them!

    // and some people wonder why they call it horse sense! That’s telling them, Trigger!

  72. Ranger
    September 5th, 2013 at 9:58 am [Reply]

    Sorry about the messed up tag. That’s what the preview is for dummy!

  73. Liam
    September 5th, 2013 at 9:58 am [Reply]

    Momma-Meals on an airline?

  74. Sequitur
    September 5th, 2013 at 9:59 am [Reply]

    It looks as if bourbon babe, unbuckled may have the opportunity of meeting Mark Trail.

    Whip up that special bourbon-flavored pancake batter bb,u!

  75. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    September 5th, 2013 at 10:00 am [Reply]

    9CL – Very odd to have a serialized strip in the midst of an important story (The Trial!), and yet no one strip has anything to do with any strip that proceeds or follows it. Yesterday, Fleurry was making a confession and, in her lovable way, insulting the prosecutor at the same time. Today, we have dropped the confession and have the prosecutor accusing the judge of a conflict of interest (given that the defendant just confessed in open court, maybe this is not a good time to bring this up?). Tomorrow, we will probably talk about the shit-stained dress some more. Apartment 3G is the only other stip I can think of that can’t keep track of which plot we are developing from one day to the next.

  76. Poteet
    September 5th, 2013 at 10:01 am [Reply]

    MW — So the spa guests stay in bathroom-sized rooms decorated in slime-green and pepto-pink? No wonder they like to escape into the desert.

  77. Illustrator Steve
    September 5th, 2013 at 10:03 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#67):
    ??? WOW!!!!!! And all this years eating those berries I always thought the residue below the top layer was just insect regurgitation!
    Sawdust?! DAMN! Talk about getting ripped off!!

  78. Nehemiah Scudder
    September 5th, 2013 at 10:11 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#y308): Mark Trail: Please, please, please let Mark hammer Senator Sellout with the Fists of Justice! Then Mark can give us an intimate look at the flora and fauna of Gitmo!

    It’s quite interesting, really. There are the iguanas, some of those get up to a meter long. And there’s the banana rats, or hutia, as they are more properly called. And there’s some of the best scuba diving and snorkeling in the world. Yep. Guantanamo Bay is a pretty groovy place, provided you are not a prisoner.

  79. Liam
    September 5th, 2013 at 10:11 am [Reply]

    RMMD-Because you pay a midget to dress up like a child that you pass off as your own kid.

  80. Joe Blevins
    September 5th, 2013 at 10:12 am [Reply]

    PHANTOM: This poor dope wasn’t even tough enough to guard a life-size Barbie Dream House.

    REX: Sarah might be “different” because she grew up in a universe where the fundamental laws of time and space do not apply. Flower vases can appear and disappear at will. Cups and saucers, likewise, can emerge Brigadoon-like from the ether.

  81. Joe Blevins
    September 5th, 2013 at 10:15 am [Reply]

    The third panel of Rex Morgan is so unsettling out of context. I mean, it’s unsettling in context, too. But on its own? Woah nelly. “Do you think I’m too different?” That’s the kind of thing an alien impostor might say before killing the nosey human who’s asking too many questions.

  82. Lumaca Morente
    September 5th, 2013 at 10:16 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#78): Well I guess now we know what your crisis was yesterday.
    //Were you there visiting Raggie?

  83. Lumaca Morente
    September 5th, 2013 at 10:20 am [Reply]

    @The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan (#20): You dodged a bullet, Father. (That’s why I never pray for a specific outcome, because, what do I know – not much.)

  84. Jim in Wisc.
    September 5th, 2013 at 10:22 am [Reply]

    Melonhead Circus: In Keane World, human affection is reduced to a cold, impersonal accounting.

    Sarah Morgan, Authoress: “Yes, Sarah, we’ve never allowed you to be a child. And you should be glad you found a job writing books. Otherwise, you’d be sewing shirts for 25 cents an hour.”

    Meddlin’ Mary: This has to be the stupidest storyline ever in this strip. And that’s saying a lot.

    Marcus Autrailius: Oh boy! Mark’s gonna punch him a Senator. He’s gonna punch him a Senator so good!

    Crankenschäft: And Batiuk scores a double today. A joke about Lena’s awful cooking combined with a joke about Cranky’s undiagnosed Alzheimer’s. Sadly, neither joke is very funny.

  85. KreatureFeatures
    September 5th, 2013 at 10:25 am [Reply]

    Spiderman: “And while you’re waiting for the firing squad portion of our telecast, why not enjoy some Rosarita refried beans? They’re delightfully authentic!”

  86. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    September 5th, 2013 at 10:27 am [Reply]

    RMMD – Look, alien she-mutant, I don’t care about how well you are able to assimilate by pretending to be a little girl. All I care about is WHAT DID YOU DO TO JUNE’S CHEST IN PANEL 1? Just because her prior chest violated all known laws of gravity and human anatomy doesn’t mean we wanted it replaced by a ‘realistic’ version!!

  87. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 5th, 2013 at 10:36 am [Reply]

  88. TheDiva
    September 5th, 2013 at 10:36 am [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#75): I find it strangely appropriate that one of the upcoming lines in McEldowney’s other strip is “Thou talk’st of nothing.”

  89. Tom, the Sailor Man
    September 5th, 2013 at 10:37 am [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#56):

    And I thought a “shitload” was the official term for a group of “Marvin” readers.

  90. Lumaca Morente
    September 5th, 2013 at 10:42 am [Reply]

    @The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan (#39): You like pants more than you like Mr. Scudder? Is that Christian (Unitarian) of you?

  91. Sequitur
    September 5th, 2013 at 10:46 am [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#90):

    Makes sense. Pants have a zipper.

  92. Flipper
    September 5th, 2013 at 10:47 am [Reply]

    @Liam (#53): In tomorrow’s Mary Worth, Mary says, “(Panel 1) And don’t worry about Aggie, Shannon. I had a long talk with her. (Panel 2) Now please be a dear and return this shovel to Maintenance for me?”

  93. Notmydesk
    September 5th, 2013 at 10:47 am [Reply]

    REX MORGAN, M.D.: “Oh, Sarah. Always worrying about being too different while sitting in your veil of darkness. More Snickerdoodles?”

  94. Lumaca Morente
    September 5th, 2013 at 10:49 am [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#91): *snerk*

  95. Amos Snarkadder
    September 5th, 2013 at 10:57 am [Reply]

    Lumaca Morento (#90):

    You like pants more than you like Mr. Scudder? Is that Christian (Unitarian) of you?

    Hmm… Just maybe there’s a good name for a band in there somewhere.
    Zounds!

  96. Liam
    September 5th, 2013 at 10:58 am [Reply]

    A3G-”It’s very serious that he will recover.”

  97. Liam
    September 5th, 2013 at 10:59 am [Reply]

    A3G-”I will but I don’t think Margo will appreciate me praying to her for someone to get better.”

  98. Liam
    September 5th, 2013 at 11:00 am [Reply]

    Spiderman-”What? What? Does the General have a nuclear bomb?”

  99. I speak Jive
    September 5th, 2013 at 11:08 am [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#34): Re: Mary Worth – That hug reminds me of Sheldon hugging Penny when she gave him the napkin autographed by Leonard Nimoy.

    @CanuckDownSouth (#45): That’s it exactly. There is so much wrong with this. As if the “Sarah the Prodigy Gets a Book Contract” wasn’t bad enough, now we have the Morgans’ parenting skills to annoy us. This strip should go back to medical stuff. Even Rex treating a drug overdose with smelling salts was less rage-inducing than this shit.

  100. Lumaca Morente
    September 5th, 2013 at 11:09 am [Reply]

    @Amos Snarkadder (#95): Oh, so *that’s* the name of Father Dan’s church.

  101. TimP
    September 5th, 2013 at 11:16 am [Reply]

    @I speak Jive (#99): Yeah, I vaguely recall learning somewhere that ‘baby talk’ is actually a pretty good thing to do with babies and toddlers. A quick check of Wikipedia confirms that recollection. Basically, if June and Rex never used baby talk with Sarah, then that would explain why she’s such a maladjusted freak. It would not, however, account for her supposed prodigal abilities.

  102. Nehemiah Scudder
    September 5th, 2013 at 11:21 am [Reply]

    @The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan (#39): But I like pants! Much more than Mr. Scudder!

    I yield to no man in my admiration of pants! (Is that a problem?)

  103. bbofun
    September 5th, 2013 at 11:33 am [Reply]

    9CL- It’s not that I expect this strip to make that much sense- I just would like it to seem to be trying. In addition to the fact, mentioned above, that this strip seems out-of-continuity with the rest of the week, what does it mean? Does Thorax have a “conflict of interest” because he’s selling produce during the trial? Does the specific produce he’s selling have a meaning? Well, if they were tomatoes I would say they could be for throwing, but cherry tomatoes would be a little small for that- and “blowing a raspberry” is a term for expressing distaste, but actual raspberries have nothing to do with that.

    In other words- Brooke’s a hack.

    PIGPORN- Well, not quite what I was expecting- not any better, though. I find it hard to believe that Brooke thought the “men’s noses” part of this speech was the most important thing in it. Or possibly he didn’t know how to draw “atomies.”

  104. Nehemiah Scudder
    September 5th, 2013 at 11:34 am [Reply]

    BB: The folks at Beetle Bailey can’t even be bothered to learn what “at ease” means. Didn’t this strip used to kind of be about the Army?

    Crock: Is there a joke here? Wikipedia says the syndicate plans of running old Crock strips by Bill Rechin until at least 2015. Oh boy. // Maybe they are just cleaning out his reject drawer.

  105. I speak Jive
    September 5th, 2013 at 11:36 am [Reply]

    @TimP (#101): My own experience: we never talked baby talk with my son; we always used proper grammar. However, we did speak in higher voices, at least in the early months, which seems to be natural with parents. But we never treated our son as an equal. We were always the adults who were in charge. My son was not a prodigy but he turned out well.

  106. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    September 5th, 2013 at 11:39 am [Reply]

    @The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan (#20): Ick. I’m sorry.

    @Liam (#53): It’s amazing what a well-placed “capisce?” can accomplish.

    @Sequitur (#74): How about a Cocktail o’ Justice instead?

  107. bbofun
    September 5th, 2013 at 11:39 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#102): @The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan (#39): In regards to the pant admiration society, I’m not certain if this has been posted yet, but here’s your theme song, courtesy MST3K-http://youtu.be/UpWOvK-mz7U

  108. bbofun
    September 5th, 2013 at 11:40 am [Reply]

    Let me try that again- http://youtu.be/UpWOvK-mz7U

  109. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 5th, 2013 at 11:44 am [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#106): Cock Trail, putting the Wood in Woods, Water and Wildlife!!!

    (I miss Dingo)

  110. Amino Man
    September 5th, 2013 at 11:45 am [Reply]

    @bbofun (#108): Beat me to it, that popped into my head immediately

  111. Sequitur
    September 5th, 2013 at 11:50 am [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#106):

    I’m wondering how Lolly will react to a comic strip character at your door.

  112. Droopy Says
    September 5th, 2013 at 11:55 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#78): It will be even more interesting visually traumatic if Mark Trail is sent to Gitmo and discovers that his court-appointed lawyer is Donna Lewis.

  113. bats :[
    September 5th, 2013 at 11:58 am [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#33): You have to consider pre-existing circumstances that have led to this unorthodox parenting method, though…

  114. The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan
    September 5th, 2013 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug, Employing Snarkitude (#41): Who’m I to sic foul demons on misguided Christians?

    //I sent widdle Sawah.

  115. Liam
    September 5th, 2013 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

    RMMD-Of course you’re different. Don’t let anyone you tell different and try to feed you that crap about everyone is equal.

  116. The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan
    September 5th, 2013 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#43): Yeah, I don’t have the whole story, but whatever is, they’re not ready to call somebody. So, dodged that bullet.

  117. The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan
    September 5th, 2013 at 12:12 pm [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#90): Standard disclaimer: I am not a Unitarian.

  118. The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan
    September 5th, 2013 at 12:13 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#102): Only if they’re not your own.

  119. bats :[
    September 5th, 2013 at 12:17 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#51): a-HA! So dinosaurs ARE going to figure into this story prominently!
    (Even if I have to do it…or Amos…or Pasordan…or…)

    @Illustrator Steve (#56): how does “metric butt-ton” (maybe it’s “butt-tonne”) figure into this system?

    @Amos Snarkadder DBA Curmudgeon Farm (#64): ooh! A nice thought! But I was so hoping for a little resort romancing before Mary left…

  120. Dale
    September 5th, 2013 at 12:30 pm [Reply]

    @GeoGreg (#54):

    MARK TRAIL

    Lost Forest is some kind of federal park. It’s not clear whether the Trails live on it or surrounded by it. When they refer to LoFo it’s often ambiguous whether they mean the park or just the place where they eat and try to retain their poop.
    I’ve never seen a hint the Doc or Mark have any responsibility for the park.

  121. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    September 5th, 2013 at 12:37 pm [Reply]

    RMMD: And thus we have the origin story of Mary Worth’s successor…

  122. TheDiva
    September 5th, 2013 at 12:54 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#119): On a similar note, is a “crapload” more or less than a “shitload”? And do you know what a plethora is, Jefe?

  123. Sequitur
    September 5th, 2013 at 1:02 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#122):

    And how does that relate to a “buttload?”

  124. Alfred E. Neuman
    September 5th, 2013 at 1:19 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#265y) said: “Aaaaaand, here’s a seal for you.”

    Thanks for finding that beautiful combination of seal and coin. However, one must be careful when purchasing one of those, because there are a number of counterfeit ones out there. The one pictured, for example, is missing the requisite Latin inscription, E Pluribus Numun.

  125. Écureuil Écumant
    September 5th, 2013 at 1:27 pm [Reply]

    @bbofun (#103): “I find it hard to believe that Brooke thought the “men’s noses” part of this speech was the most important thing in it.”

    I think the key here is the “subtle crease” in the end of that “nose”.

  126. Alter Ego
    September 5th, 2013 at 1:34 pm [Reply]

    love is… flashing the neighbors.

  127. Écureuil Écumant
    September 5th, 2013 at 1:35 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#122): Hunh. Well, anyway, Pasdordan knows what a pleroma is.

  128. Alter Ego
    September 5th, 2013 at 1:36 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#44): You, of all people, didn’t count the dog?? ;-)

  129. Everything Is Better With Monkeys
    September 5th, 2013 at 1:43 pm [Reply]

    MW – I guess they have to pay the administrators by the word for dialogue. On Sunday, Mary pretty much went into a soliloquy. And whatsernameIdon’tcare woman didn’t even share a scene with one.

    Maybe the lack of any tension so far is to relax us, so that when Aggie goes on a killing rampage we will feel truly shocked.

  130. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 5th, 2013 at 1:43 pm [Reply]

    @Alter Ego (#128): yeah, but I didn’t want to R34 Abbey that way.

    BARK! BARK!! BARK!!!

  131. Nehemiah Scudder
    September 5th, 2013 at 1:51 pm [Reply]

    @The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan (#118): “All your pants are belong to us!”

    Actually, most of the pants in the world do not belong to me. Yet.

    // I have my little plans.

  132. Captain Binghampton
    September 5th, 2013 at 1:57 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#131):

    I have my little plans.

    What is it Scudder, what do you want, what, what, what?

  133. Nehemiah Scudder
    September 5th, 2013 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

    @Écureuil Écumant (#127): I can tell a chrismatory from a chasuble, when the wind is southerly.

  134. Peanut Gallery
    September 5th, 2013 at 2:02 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#34):

    MW: I hate it when people I’m not close to try to hug me

    I hate it even more when they try to take a bite out of my shoulder.

  135. Dennis Jimenez
    September 5th, 2013 at 2:05 pm [Reply]

    RMMD – She’s freaky – but is she Super Freaky – She’s a freak – She’s super freaky – it has a nice ring to it….

    Phantom – Oh yeah – Well St. Peter’s jaw is golden, man. Let’s see you clock that….

    Adios Amigos, DJ.

  136. Peanut Gallery
    September 5th, 2013 at 2:14 pm [Reply]

    @The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan (#20): Aww, too bad. But at least this means you have more time to entertain us. ;-)

    And a little hint to Shoe: If you’ve got a comic strip character talking to a clergyman, don’t have him use the word “arrears.” It just makes people think you’re setting up a nasty sort of pun. Whether the pun actually arrives or not, no good can come of it.

  137. Fred G. Sanford
    September 5th, 2013 at 2:22 pm [Reply]

    @Ranger (#72): You remind me of Lamont, you big dummy!

  138. Liam
    September 5th, 2013 at 2:25 pm [Reply]

    MT-Mark is just worried that they’ll find his dead UPS driver graveyard. Many a UPS driver have wandered into the Lost Forest never to emerge.

    Crankshaft-”They taste like the pot cookies me and my friends would make in college.”

    FW-Enjoy it while you can, Bull. With the way things are being cut you could be next.

    Love Is-He’s not coming back with cigarettes is he?

  139. The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan
    September 5th, 2013 at 2:25 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#131): I will not wear a kilt.

  140. To Say Nothing of Shrug
    September 5th, 2013 at 2:25 pm [Reply]

    @Alter Ego (#128):

    “You, of all people, didn’t count the dog?”

    If it was good enough for Jerome K. Jerome….

  141. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    September 5th, 2013 at 2:30 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#122): I believe the proper term is “crap ton”, not “crapload.” Therefore I would imagine it’s bigger than a shitload.

  142. The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan
    September 5th, 2013 at 2:35 pm [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#141): IIRC, a metric buttload is the biggest.

  143. The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan
    September 5th, 2013 at 2:36 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#136): Entertain you? Certainly not! I have useful things to do with my like…or…

    Hmm, let me get back to you on that.

  144. Cloudbuster
    September 5th, 2013 at 2:51 pm [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#121): RMMD: And thus we have the origin story of Mary Worth’s successor nemesis…

    The Bendy Meddler. When she ties herself in rhetorical preztels, she really does it!

  145. Cloudbuster
    September 5th, 2013 at 2:52 pm [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#144): Well, that was a total fail. I didn’t even pay attention to the “RMMD” part. It still could have been good, if I hadn’t specified the “bendy” bit. I’m getting too old for this shit.

  146. Amos Snarkadder
    September 5th, 2013 at 2:53 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#119):

    But I was so hoping for a little resort romancing before Mary left…

    Well, I suppose it could be both! A little kick-ass, a little bump-ass. It’s Mary Worth after all, there’s plenty of time!

  147. Cloudbuster
    September 5th, 2013 at 2:53 pm [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#141): There are 22 craploads in a metric crap ton. It’s an archaic measurement.

  148. Joe, the Upper-Evergreen Guy
    September 5th, 2013 at 2:55 pm [Reply]

    Crank: Ed, please wake up so you can die, you illiterate, misogynist, self-absorbed firebug fuck!

    Funk the Stupid Bean: Hey Funky…..I’ve got a bottle of booze here with your name on it you narcissistic asshole! Maybe you and the Fat Pervert down at Comix Corner can lure in that fuzz-faced kid who always wears that stupid stocking cap 365 days a year.

    MT: “Hudson Mason”??? …….Pfffffttttt HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!

    RMMD: “Yes, Sarah……your armpits are way too smelly for a 5-year old!”

  149. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    September 5th, 2013 at 2:58 pm [Reply]

    RMMD – Wow, June sure is quick to pat herself on the back for doing such a wonderful job raising mutant head girl. Last week, she was humblebragging that, while her good parenting of course played a role in making her daughter into an artistic prodigy, having an English nanny was also important. Now, she claims that Sarah is better than other children because June never used baby talk with her.

    Be careful of declaring Mission Accomplished when the child is only five. By the time she is 16, you will be looking for any reason you can to blame someone else for how she behaves.

  150. Amos Snarkadder
    September 5th, 2013 at 2:59 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#119):

    So dinosaurs ARE going to figure into this story prominently!

    Much needed! Or perhaps even an Otter-Rex. Or a Tyrannosaurus Elk.

  151. Dennis Jimenez
    September 5th, 2013 at 3:08 pm [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#147): You have to use a conversion into pennyweight, before you can even calculate a pant’s load….

  152. Amino Man
    September 5th, 2013 at 3:11 pm [Reply]

    @Écureuil Écumant (#125): Oh dear God, I went and looked. Sigh.

  153. Sequitur
    September 5th, 2013 at 3:16 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#136):

    It could have been worse. They could have talked about meeting in his rectory.

  154. TheDiva
    September 5th, 2013 at 3:24 pm [Reply]

    @Amino Man (#152): I did too. Want to bleach our brains together or just huddle quietly in the corner and cry?

  155. Downpuppy
    September 5th, 2013 at 3:25 pm [Reply]

    Is Mark Trail rehashing the 2010 story mocked in Naturepunchman?

  156. Casey, Crime Photographer
    September 5th, 2013 at 3:33 pm [Reply]

  157. Snarky Parker
    September 5th, 2013 at 3:40 pm [Reply]

    @Casey, Crime Photographer (#156): What a crappé pun!

  158. Amos Snarkadder
    September 5th, 2013 at 3:42 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#153): The temporary position while a permanent priest is being called is referred to as the “interim rector.”
    Mind you, you have to enunciate that very carefully.

  159. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    September 5th, 2013 at 3:47 pm [Reply]

    @Amos Snarkadder (#158):

    If you do all your hiring on-line, and staff positions in a number of different churches at once, does that give you an eRector set?

  160. Amos Snarkadder
    September 5th, 2013 at 3:52 pm [Reply]

  161. Cloudbuster
    September 5th, 2013 at 3:55 pm [Reply]

    @Amino Man (#152): The more I look at it, the worse it gets!

  162. exapno
    September 5th, 2013 at 4:05 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#138):

    Tomorrow’s Cranky: Mushy Mushy

  163. Sequitur
    September 5th, 2013 at 4:13 pm [Reply]

    @Amos Snarkadder (#158):

    Maybe pastordan can get a job like that.

  164. Alison
    September 5th, 2013 at 4:39 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#33):
    That was my though too. Treating a five-year-old as an equal is bad enough, but just wait until the time comes when she’s a teenager who thinks her opinion is equal to her parents’ opinions.

    “I’m going out tonight with that guy you hate.”
    “But Sarah, he has a criminal record, and-”
    “Mom, I’m your equal! You can’t tell me not to date anyone. Is that what people who are equal to each other do?”
    “Well…I guess not.”
    “Oh, and I’m taking your car. We’re equals, so we both get to use the car.”
    “Sarah, really, you don’t have a driver’s license yet-”
    “Oh, so you’re better than me, is that it? You get to drive and I don’t, huh?”
    “No, honey, it’s not that, but-”
    “I’ll be home around 3:00 AM. Don’t wait up.”
    “Sarah-”
    “Bye Mom. Oh, and I’m having a party this weekend at our house. Hey, it’s my house too, so I get to have parties if I want. There’ll be about a hundred people coming. Anyway, see ya later!”

  165. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    September 5th, 2013 at 5:59 pm [Reply]

    A-SM: I for one am looking forward to many days of Histrionic Latino Dialogue (HLD)!
    Tarantula: El Condor will kill Rosa, my beloved sister, in one hour! He is indeed the devil!
    Hot-blooded Latina Stereotype: My darling! We shall not let your beloved sister die!
    Tarantula: You are correct, my love! For of course we shall save my beloved sister!
    Hot-blooded Suspicious Stereotype: We must save Rosa, for she is my beloved, the woman whom I love, and whom I shall love always, and whom we must save, somehow!
    Tarantula: Si! Si! And si! again! But how? For we are but a few, and El Condor, who is the devil, he has the power of many!
    Spidey: Well, um….
    H-BSS: You! Why do you speak, gringo? For you are an outsider who does not understand the ways of our country, and who does not speak in melodramatic exclamations! Keep your American mutterings to yourself, or we shall return to bracketed histrionics, and then where shall you be?

  166. bunivasal
    September 5th, 2013 at 6:09 pm [Reply]

    Sarah mimics my frequent life crises: one where I realize that nothing I’ve done required any effort other than simply being a warm body occupying space. It makes the accolades at my feat seem hollow, almost mocking.

    “You did awesome!”
    “I didn’t do anything. I just stood here. In fact, while I was just standing here, I was actively hoping that nobody would notice I wasn’t doing anything. And now you’re rewarding me, which is very worrying. It makes the fact that nobody pays any attention when I think I’m accomplishing anything all the more distressing.”

  167. Nehemiah Scudder
    September 5th, 2013 at 6:11 pm [Reply]

    @Alison (#164): “Mom, I’m your equal! You can’t tell me not to date anyone. Is that what people who are equal to each other do?”

    Besides, he’s a nice guy — he’s always doing public service and stuff!

  168. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    September 5th, 2013 at 6:18 pm [Reply]

    @bunivasal (#166):

    “I didn’t do anything. I just stood here. In fact, while I was just standing here, I was actively hoping that nobody would notice I wasn’t doing anything. And now you’re rewarding me, which is very worrying. It makes the fact that nobody pays any attention when I think I’m accomplishing anything all the more distressing.”

    Please teach me your ways, wise sensei.

  169. Dale
    September 5th, 2013 at 6:20 pm [Reply]

    RM,MD

    You know you’re different because of how you’re treated.
    You’re different because of genetics.

  170. Nehemiah Scudder
    September 5th, 2013 at 6:24 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#163): Maybe pasdordan can get a job like that.

    Interim rector? Why not?

    Maybe that would work for him. He doesn’t seem to get along with his regular congregations all that well. (I’m sure the fault was all on their side — The Right Ven. is a Curmugeon, after all, and ‘Mudges, we all know, do not err.)
    By analogy, many regular schoolteachers get burned out by their kids. But substitute teachers seem to last longer, knowing they don’t have to deal with the same brats all the time.

  171. Nehemiah Scudder
    September 5th, 2013 at 6:29 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#168): Seems to have learned much from the bald engineer in Dilbert.

  172. Nomstrosity
    September 5th, 2013 at 6:42 pm [Reply]

    Sarah wouldn’t name her coming cult of personality anything as gauche as the Eternal Glorious Prosperous Sarah-Empire. No, it will simply be called Sarah – for if she is too different from the others, does it not follow that she must make them same? Merge with them, so that they may ascend to a higher plane of existence? Little kids like drinking Kool-Aid, right?

  173. Mr. Yezpitelok
    September 5th, 2013 at 6:44 pm [Reply]

    RMMD: “Also, do you think this generic undershirt makes me look too fat?”

  174. bats :[
    September 5th, 2013 at 6:44 pm [Reply]

    Having finally gotten around to reading my comics at gocomics.com, I’m pretty well sure that BMcE has spent 15+ years cartooning for this single day, illustrating the description of Queen Mab. Woo.

  175. bats :[
    September 5th, 2013 at 6:45 pm [Reply]

    Can retirement be far behind?

  176. Alison
    September 5th, 2013 at 6:48 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#167):
    Hmm, he’s a Nice Guy, eh? Is Sarah dating Gunther from “Luann”?

    He could sew her plaid shirts, and she could draw dinosaurs for him. Sounds like love!

  177. Poteet
    September 5th, 2013 at 6:57 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#87): Sets a new standard for happy!

  178. Mr. Yezpitelok
    September 5th, 2013 at 7:00 pm [Reply]

    9 Stinkweed Lane: There’s also the smell of rotten eggs coming from the judge’s bench. I don’t want to point fingers, but…

  179. Shrug: Another Day Older and One-Sixteenth Deeper in Debt
    September 5th, 2013 at 7:01 pm [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#141):

    “I believe the proper term is “crap ton”, not “crapload.” ”

    I’ve never heard that one, but North American ton or UK ton (or metric tonne)?

  180. Sequitur
    September 5th, 2013 at 7:03 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#170):

    ‘Mudges, we all know, do not err.

    Stop it! You’re making me laugh too hard! Hahahahahohohoheee!

    Aaaooowww! My Spleen!

  181. Anonymous
    September 5th, 2013 at 7:23 pm [Reply]

    MW: I can’t wait until Mary gets back to Santa Royale! I’m really looking forward to hearing all about her delightful adventures at Pox Wellness, now that I’ve seen it all. I just can’t get enough!!! (And for those of you complaining of boredom, at least this isn’t Apartment 3-G. Mary Worth knows how to start a plot and stick with it to its own compelling conclusion!)
    JP: Abbey Spencer is totally naive. That fool and her megabucks will soon be parted.

  182. Dawn Weston's Evil Twin
    September 5th, 2013 at 7:24 pm [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#183): Oops, forgot to sign in.

    MW: I can’t wait until Mary gets back to Santa Royale! I’m really looking forward to hearing all about her delightful adventures at Pox Wellness, now that I’ve seen it all. I just can’t get enough!!! (And for those of you complaining of boredom, at least this isn’t Apartment 3-G. Mary Worth knows how to start a plot and stick with it to its own compelling conclusion!)

    JP: Abbey Spencer is totally naive. That fool and her megabucks will soon be parted.

  183. Droopy Says
    September 5th, 2013 at 7:30 pm [Reply]

    @Joe, the Upper-Evergreen Guy (#148): It’s funnier if you imagine the replicants from Bladerunner saying it. “Wake up, Mr. Crankshaft. Time to die.”

  184. Liam
    September 5th, 2013 at 7:54 pm [Reply]

    Spiderman-I’m loving how Spiderman doesn’t speak a word of Spanish and has to sit there wondering what is going on. “I know that arana means spider but I thought we were enemies to this general why would he want to throw a parade in our honor.”

  185. Peanut Gallery
    September 5th, 2013 at 8:20 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#153): Exactly. It’s like having a character say “Watch it, don’t spill your chrism on my maniples!”

  186. Odie Odo
    September 5th, 2013 at 8:33 pm [Reply]

    @Mr. Yezpitelok (#178): 9 Stinkweed Lane: There’s also the smell of rotten eggs coming from the judge’s bench. I don’t want to point fingers, but…

    Oddly enough, Thorax and Brooke McEldowney share the same nickname:
    fart blossom.

  187. Northern lurker
    September 5th, 2013 at 8:42 pm [Reply]

    Phantom: I’m curious. How is Phantom succession managed?
    Does a phantom have to die in striped briefs before his successor puts them on?
    Do the Phantom and his would-be successor have MMA-style fights until junior is able to beat the tar out of senior?
    So what happens if a reigning Phantom gets all saggy of glutes and pecs? The purple spandex could get a little ugly sort of like those French Canadiana in speedos hanging around Fort Lauderdale.
    What if there are no boy children? A female Phantomelle? With cameltoe?

  188. seismic-2
    September 5th, 2013 at 8:49 pm [Reply]

    @Northern lurker (#190): I’ve always wondered what happens to the legend when one day the Phantom is suddenly 3 inches shorter, and 20 pounds lighter, than he was on the previous day. Ghost-Who-Shrinks?

  189. Flonatin of Bologna
    September 5th, 2013 at 8:59 pm [Reply]

    Now, if Ziggy had plots, they’d be starting a cross-over with Spider-Man with today’s strip.

  190. Nehemiah Scudder
    September 5th, 2013 at 9:07 pm [Reply]

    ♫They’re Winky and his spleen,
    Yes, Winky and his spleen,
    One of them’s an organ, the other’s a preteen,
    Winky’s a spaceman bold,
    The story never gets old,
    For once a week he manages to injure his spleen.
    Spleen spleen spleen spleen spleen spleen spleen!♫

  191. Artist formerly known as Ben
    September 5th, 2013 at 9:11 pm [Reply]

    RMMD: They tried baby talk for a few days, but Rex couldn’t keep up.

    Phantom: Vigilante-ing is lonely work. So often you find yourself with no one conscious to talk to.

  192. Artist formerly known as Ben
    September 5th, 2013 at 9:13 pm [Reply]

    MW: Mary in five years: Now to be fair, dear, I never said that I didn’t want your firstborn in exchange, either.

    9CL: I’m assuming that Thorax is selling fresh fruits and vegetables so that onlookers won’t be tempted to throw rotten ones.

    Archie: Archie looks gobsmacked to see something happening which he’d predicted pretty much down to the letter. Guess he’s not used to getting ‘em right.

    BC: Um, what?

    JP: Sam believes that terrorists taking a man hostage and threatening to kill him is wrong but creditors doing the same thing is just dandy. He must have worked—to use the word loosely—some interesting cases.

    HtH: Apparently the next Viking raid on Britain will include Helga, and she’ll be in an experimental mood. Look out, ladies!

    GT: It’s too bad that Tip Nunn doesn’t talk about himself in the third person, like that guy “the Ghost” last year. It would be a lot funnier if he said, “The Tip is in.”

    Momma: As Mary Lou obliquely points out, the airline provides its passengers with comfy easy chairs, but the lack of tray tables makes mealtimes a messy affair.

    SFx: Boo Boo is really stockpiling those lollipops. When the world economy totally collapses, he’ll be ready.

    A3G: “I will. I’ll put a finger in my ear so I don’t forget.”

  193. Jurgan
    September 5th, 2013 at 9:20 pm [Reply]

    I read Ender’s game recently, and doesn’t Sarah sound exactly like Ender Wiggin? “Oh, it’s so hard to be the best, smartest child in the world…”

  194. Poteet
    September 5th, 2013 at 9:24 pm [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#77): But so much fiber!

  195. Poteet
    September 5th, 2013 at 9:29 pm [Reply]

    PIBGORN — After more than a year of abstaining from the Pib, I just had to go see what Queen Mab looks like, only to discover that she is a Burber. Another year of abstaining has just begun.

  196. pugfuggly
    September 5th, 2013 at 9:33 pm [Reply]

    A3G “A prayer? You got it! Oh great and powerful Margo, we ask you to be merciful today and…”

    Archie Oh, teenagers and their obsession with manners…!

    H&L Oh, tweens and their obsession with class warfare…!

    FW So you finally got to shit on your students just like you were shat upon so many years ago. Who says Westview dreams don’t come true?

    MT Mark vs the Freemasons? /grabs popcorn/

    MW And with that, another Mary Worth episode is resolved. How exactly? Who knows. Why? Who cares. Let’s take another swim, have a piece of pie and just forget about it.

  197. Poteet
    September 5th, 2013 at 9:35 pm [Reply]

    RMMD — I don’t have kids, but I have the impression that treating small children as equals is a very tricky business that could end up landing the parents on DOCTOR PHIL.

  198. Morgan Wick
    September 5th, 2013 at 9:44 pm [Reply]

    Has the Phantom discovered TV Tropes?

  199. Odie Odo
    September 5th, 2013 at 9:55 pm [Reply]

    @Ben Wasabi (#66): Jimmy Stewart stars as Mark Trail in “Mr. Trail Goes to Washington” (with Edward Arnold as Hudson Mason).

    I’d cast Carl “Alfalfa” Switzer as Rusty, but he’s not ugly enough.

  200. Señor Wences
    September 5th, 2013 at 10:05 pm [Reply]

  201. tallyHO
    September 5th, 2013 at 10:14 pm [Reply]

    @Odie Odo (#202):

    I’d cast Carl “Alfalfa” Switzer as Rusty, but he’s not ugly enough.

    How’s about him on Nitrous Oxide? He’d be loopy enough.

  202. Odie Odo
    September 5th, 2013 at 10:15 pm [Reply]

    @Señor Wences (#203): Gah!!! Butch might actually pull off the part of Rusty — as long as he has a little help from “Frankenstein” makeup artist Jack Pierce.

  203. Artist formerly known as Ben
    September 5th, 2013 at 10:16 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#33): @Alison (#164): Yeah, the Wilsonverse approach to parenting is not one anyone should try at home. Sure, being treated like an equal is something that kids will say they want. But a child raised by his or her equals would be lucky to see birthday one.

  204. Odie Odo
    September 5th, 2013 at 10:25 pm [Reply]

  205. Artist formerly known as Ben
    September 5th, 2013 at 10:38 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#76): The tiny gross rooms may also account for why Aggie came into the talk circle ready to fight.

  206. Sgt.Stoned
    September 5th, 2013 at 10:48 pm [Reply]

    MT: I wonder if Hy Pressure, who works for evil, corrupt frackers over at “Dick Tracy” is working for these evil, corrupt oil drillers, too.

    MW: This has to have been the lamest “Mary Worth” storyline ever. Thanks to Mary’s meddling, Shannon gets to keep her McYoga job at the spa after Aggie may or may not have complained about her skills at her second job of running a sensitivity group of some kind, we don’t know for sure. Sheesh!

  207. tallyHO
    September 5th, 2013 at 11:08 pm [Reply]

    @Odie Odo (#207):

    Nah.
    Moe is a one-note character. It doesn’t matter if he’s young or old “handsome” or horrifyingly not handsome, he’s always Moe. So, Moe as an actor portraying someone else is something I can’t see happening with great effect. He’d just come across as a proto-bitter Moe.

    //”proto-bitter Moe”….sounds like a craft brew beer.

  208. Huckleberry Fink
    September 5th, 2013 at 11:15 pm [Reply]

    Love is… buying him a moped for a wedding present.

    Apt. 3-G: Margo knows there’s nothing like a brisk walk in the nude to clear
    the head.

  209. Huckleberry Fink
    September 5th, 2013 at 11:35 pm [Reply]

    Better Half: Stanley’s burping is a cover for his flatulence.

    Edge City: She needs to go Rosh Hashanah on his ass.

  210. Poteet
    September 5th, 2013 at 11:40 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#208): Good point. But now Aggie is being offered a free stay, which could put her into an even worse mood. Good luck, Shannon!

  211. Poteet
    September 5th, 2013 at 11:45 pm [Reply]

    MT — I’m excited. I spent ten years as a far-from-expert volunteer conservation lobbyist on the state level, but now I’m finally going to learn how conservation lobbying ought to be done. And I’ll bet Mark is going to skip the boring research and coalition-building and public-education part and head straight to Washington on his own, possibly on horseback. Zowie.

  212. Borborygmy
    September 5th, 2013 at 11:47 pm [Reply]

    @Huckleberry Fink (#212): Better Half: Stanley’s burping is a cover for his flatulence.

    Oh, drat. I’ve been doing it the wrong way round, then.

  213. Poteet
    September 5th, 2013 at 11:50 pm [Reply]

    @Sgt.Stoned (#209): Wait, let’s not be too hasty. You’re right, this story was impressively lame, and yet somehow I suspect that back in the mists of time, there are a few other really lame contenders. But a contest that required reading and judging them would kill us all.

  214. Droopy Says
    September 5th, 2013 at 11:50 pm [Reply]

    Spider and Spiderer: You called Spiderman for help because El Buzzardo Loco was going to kill your sister at dawn today. Now you’re going to surrender because the Evil One is going to kill her a bit earlier? Exactly how does this prevent you from rescuing her? Come on, did your plan count on the firing squad being dazzled by the sunrise? Or were you going to shout “Senors! Muchachos! Ees reelly sundown! Go home for el grande siesta!”

    You Don’t Know, Dick: And you didn’t know she’d run off to Daisyville? The “story” has become too tangled for even its writers to follow.

    Family Circus: Billy is just going to ask for a nickel so he can walk to the local stupormarket and by a canny bar, but Bil has already learned to expect the worst of his spawn.

    Creepy Les: Huh? I thought the principal talked about gay rights, not about bullying. Did I forget something? Please tell me I forgot something. I want to know that my brain can protect itself from this garbage.

    Jugs Parker: Lady, you need to grow a pair. Of brain hemispheres, that is.

    Mark Trail: Love it when Mark gets on his high horse about an issue.

    Phantom: It’s a good thing that a chain and giant padlock just happened to be lying there . . . wait, Phantom brought them along? Okay, Ghost-Who-Kinks, when the wife won’t play games, she has to expect you to wander.

    Pluggers refuse to try anything different. Some are so set in their ways that they still eat Gerber’s.

  215. Poteet
    September 5th, 2013 at 11:54 pm [Reply]

    GA — Oh come ON! We really need a contest for Most Ridiculous Comic-Strip Portrayal Of Modern Air Travel. There have been some lulus in the past few months.

  216. jim, some guy in iowa
    September 5th, 2013 at 11:58 pm [Reply]

    Rex, MD: June, the sooner you tell Sarah she’s really a robot, the easier it will be for all of you

  217. Poteet
    September 6th, 2013 at 12:02 am [Reply]

    FW — Wasn’t that the prom wherein, after weeks of drama and hoopla, we never even got to see the young gay couple enjoying the culminating event? Not content to annoy us with the current stupid storyline, Batiuk reminds us of annoying storylines from the recent past.

  218. Cassius
    September 6th, 2013 at 12:04 am [Reply]

    @Borborygmy (#215): “The fault, dear Borborygmy, is not in our farts, But in our pants…try wearing a toga, instead. They clear up much faster.”

  219. Poteet
    September 6th, 2013 at 12:04 am [Reply]

    CRANKSHAFT — Yep, that big blank white space on the Crank’s cap should definitely be given the label “ASSHAT.”

  220. jim, some guy in iowa
    September 6th, 2013 at 12:07 am [Reply]

    FW/Comics Kingdom: I wonder if the comments on FW @ CK are planted to make FW look tolerable in comparison

  221. jim, some guy in iowa
    September 6th, 2013 at 12:17 am [Reply]

    Interesting. On Arcamax, 9CL allows comments. I don’t imagine that will last.

  222. Droopy Says
    September 6th, 2013 at 12:22 am [Reply]

    @jim, some guy in iowa (#224): You know that McEldowney will milk this one for all it’s worth. He’s certainly practiced enough for this climax.

  223. seismic-2
    September 6th, 2013 at 12:29 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#220): Batiuk himself seems to have bullied the gay students. After only 2 days, he chased them out of town, never to be heard of again.

  224. Uncle Lumpy
    September 6th, 2013 at 12:32 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#214):

    … head straight to Washington on his own, possibly on horseback. Zowie.

    Poteet, if you want to lobby Washington and find yourself in need of a horse, you’ve got my email address. Seriously, you ride ‘em, girl.

  225. jim, some guy in iowa
    September 6th, 2013 at 12:36 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#225): no doubt. I hope the comments don’t go south right away. I’d be interested to see what real fans of McE are like

  226. tallyHO
    September 6th, 2013 at 12:43 am [Reply]

    Well I’ll be a horse’s patoot!

    Mark Trail and his Fists of Justice versus Big Oil

    It is doubtful it will be on pay-per-view mainly because
    it involves Pay-for-Play.

    And, just why does Mark need to mount his steed instead of hopping in his 4×4?
    A local office for his senator is located in a desolated area of the woods or someplace? Instead of being near a main street in a neighboring town, it is nestled in the thickets and brambles of billy goat country?

    Hmmm…what makes my Cider-sense tingle right now?* Could it be that this Senator Mason has bearded henchmen, er… I mean, “aides”? Could it be that the Big Oil representatives are long-hairs who have goatees and van Dykes and soul patches? Just how often does Mark smoke his “reward” from that pot bust months ago?

    I keed. This oughta be interesting. Environmental Politics. What better forum is there than the funny pages. Intractable debate stances where money always determines the rules. sigh.

    *by Cider-sense I mean spiked cider and its side effects…eventually, it will lead to upside-down effects and before I know it, there will be supine effects. I just hope I can avoid bowing-to-the -“throne” effects in the meantime.

  227. Dale
    September 6th, 2013 at 1:26 am [Reply]

    MARK TRAIL

    Doc wasn’t aware of the surveying? Is it the type that uses EXPLOSIVES?

    Mark won’t bother to learn a thing about the situation. He’ll just barge into the senator’s local office. “What’s going on here, Nature Raper?!”

  228. Nehemiah Scudder, Lord of the Pants
    September 6th, 2013 at 3:11 am [Reply]

    @bbofun (#107): Thanks. I had forgotten that one. “Hercules vs. the Moon Men” was one of my favorite MST3K episodes.

  229. Braniff
    September 6th, 2013 at 3:17 am [Reply]

    FC: Billy is wearing a necktie. Daddy is stunned by Billy’s question. Will Mommy be taking Daddy to the divorce court for Daddy’s “all the money”?

  230. Cloudbuster
    September 6th, 2013 at 3:45 am [Reply]

    ASM: “For once I agree with Rodrigo.” Isn’t this the first time they have to share opinions on anything substantive? They’ve known each other for, what, ten minutes?

    A3G: Yes, LuAnn. Get out of that silk dress. Take your walk naked.

    A3G 2: I completely understand. I’m always losing sleep over the misfortunes of people I barely know. (Do I actually need to put the “/sarc” tag?)

    FW: So much hate for the smuggy smugness of this smug strip and its smugly punning smug characters. That is all.

    MT: Yes, oil drilling absolutely destroys wildlife areas. Argh! No it doesn’t! The national forest I live within has dozens (hundreds?) of oil and gas wells. The rough little dirt track forest roads that exist for the maintenance of the wells are among the only ways you can hike or horseback ride deep in to appreciate the forest. The idea that they’re doing any sort of appreciable damage to the forest is ludicrous! Sorry, touched a nerve here. It’s rough essentially living in LoFo and having to read news reports about the “horrors” of fracking, drilling and mining as described by such intellectual luminaries as Ashley Judd and Yoko Ono.

  231. Cloudbuster
    September 6th, 2013 at 3:50 am [Reply]

    MW:: Reading a comic that’s been pimped out as a PSA is boring enough. This is even more boring than that. This reads like a comic about the strategy sessions for defining the PSA’s message. And, seriously, Aggie’s getting a free stay because someone might possibly have vaguely criticized her? Do any resorts do that, ever? Because I’m totally going to that resort and getting my entire vacation comped. “Waaaaah! What do you mean do I want coffee with breakfast? Are you insinuating that I’m sluggish and slow in the mornings? I thought this place was supposed to empower and nurture me! You’re monsters!”

  232. Droopy Says
    September 6th, 2013 at 4:22 am [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#223): The only bullying I recall in the gay-students-at-prom arc had to do with the old harridan and her friends who wanted them kicked out. Maybe Batyuck has confused that arc with the one where the school bullies actually bullied the goth chick. It’s easy to confuse the two arcs. Nothing came of either story.

  233. Liam
    September 6th, 2013 at 4:23 am [Reply]

    A3G-Here’s a shocking plot twist apparently Lu Ann has been wearing a silk dress for the past couple of days.

  234. Droopy Says
    September 6th, 2013 at 4:27 am [Reply]

    Mary Mirthless: Events have already led to feedback. Shrill, ear-shattering feedback, leveling an entire concert hall–oops, I didn’t realize that was Mary’s speaking voice, dialed up to eleven.

  235. John C Fremont
    September 6th, 2013 at 4:39 am [Reply]

    MT – “One tin soldier rides away…”

  236. Nehemiah Scudder
    September 6th, 2013 at 6:12 am [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#230): Ordinary drilling is a mature technology. I live in a part of Alabama where there are oil fields. You see the pumpjacks working away quietly in soybean fields west of Tuscaloosa. Don’t see them doing much harm.

    Fracking is a relatively new technology, and I think there are serious concerns, particularly in regard to water supplies. You’ve heard the horror stories — people’s tap water igniting and all.

  237. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 6th, 2013 at 7:15 am [Reply]

    LaCuc: Pastis weeps.

    Lio: take THAT, bully!

    PBS: ouch. we have been TOLD!

    SBp: /facepalm.

    MG&G: subtle Lady & the Tramp ref.

    Retail: “unattended children will be given a free espresso and a puppy”

  238. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 6th, 2013 at 7:16 am [Reply]

    Love Is. . . riding with Hells Angels.

  239. Cloudbuster
    September 6th, 2013 at 11:43 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#236): Popular Mechanics has a nice, balanced treatment of the subject. Fracking is actually a 60-year-old technology. The famous burning tap water in the movie FrackNation was completely debunked. It was unrelated to fracking. Other known cases of methane leakage from wells have been traced to improper shaft lining and are not specifically related to fracking technology at all. Virtually all of the “horror stories” are fantastically overblown. It’s no more dangerous than many other industrial, mining and drilling technologies we co-exist with every day.

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