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Mary Worth, 12/21/13

Oh my goodness you guys, in a totally unforeseeable development Ken Kensington has fallen for Mary Worth! Just another moth of a certain age drawn helplessly to her flame, soon to discover that it gives off light but no emotional warmth. In panel two, though, we can see that he’s still holding out hope, and is closing his eyes tightly and concentrating intently in an attempt to make her fall in love with him with his mind. Probably won’t work, but kudos for trying?

Gil Thorp, 12/21/13

I can’t tell you how much the narration box in panel three bothers me. Clearly it should be either “Meanwhile” or “In the meantime”, right? But I guess that would add between one and six characters, and we simply don’t have time for that, since we need to get to this gripping thrill-ride plot where some guy we may or may not have met before looks up things on the Internet that he acknowledges most people know already.

Marvin, 12/21/13

Marvin’s cousin has always served as a tightly controlled and regimented foil to Marvin’s slovenly, loosey-goosey ways, if you get what I’m talking about. (If you don’t, I’m talking about their personality, and also, in a Freudian sense, about pooping.) Anyway, today’s installment furthers the strip’s blatant pro-pants-crapping agenda by showing the terrible price of not being a complete gross slob: constant anxiety about your subconscious being monitored for virtue by mysterious figures with the power to reward and punish.