The Comics Curmudgeon

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“Fools and Saints”: The title of Lu Ann’s next retrospective

The Phantom, 2/8/09

So the Ghost-Who-Dabbles-In-Social-Work has been dishing out some “tough love” to former city street tough Kani, which has consisted of good healthy jungle fun like sexy diaper boxing. Kani was sentenced to Bangalla’s juvenile justice system because he served as a lookout in an armed robbery; thus, I think it would be extra hilarious if the Phantom is now taking him along on a mission to steal whatever goods are in this isolated farmhouse. “What? Where do you think I get the money to keep myself in purple spandex and saddle oil and ammunition? Do you think those cone-hatted dudes are paying me? Please.”

Judge Parker, 2/8/09

Retiring Judge Parker is cowering in his basement, desperate as usual to avoid an appearance in his own namesake comic strip; presumably he’s hoping that once his son Randy has been officially handed the gavel, ensuring the continued existence of another Judge Parker, he can slip out the back door and never again be held responsible for anything that happens here. I am kind of amused by his grim expression in the final panel as he’s being told about the enormous book advance that will soon be his for no good reason. “Damn it, I wanted to know that this check was causing that bastard Cheathem real physical pain when I cashed it! Now that he’s dead and in hell … well, it’s just not the same.”

Mary Worth, 2/8/09

The idea that every single Mary Worth storyline from here on in is going to end with some dude making an incredibly awkward pass at her has filled me with so much glee that I’m willing to ignore the fact that this Olympic skating training center apparently has an occasional “free skate” period. Anyway, “Let’s just enjoy this moment of freedom on the ice” might sound like a sort-of polite way to tell Frank to shut his horny piehole, but I prefer to think of it as an invitation to cop a feel. “Remember, Frank, what happens on the ice stays on the ice!”

Hi and Lois, 2/8/09

The most pathetic aspect of Hi’s midlife crisis fantasy is not that it involves golf; it’s that it apparently centers on someone at long last calling him “mister.” The fact that he can only imagine someone calling him “mister” in a golfing context is the sad foundation on which the whole shameful thing rests.

Blondie, 2/8/09

“They’ve decided to worship you as a god, and are constructing a monstrous idol in our yard! Isn’t it adorable?”

Panel from Apartment 3-G, 2/8/09

It appears that, in today’s final panel, Margo has uttered the ultimate Margo-ism. Now if she’s running short on time but needs to assert herself, she can just quickly refer everyone to this panel before moving on to her next victim.

This entry was posted on Sunday, February 8, 2009 at 01:59 pm and is filed under Apartment 3-G, Blondie, Hi and Lois, Judge Parker, Mary Worth, Phantom.

241 responses to ““Fools and Saints”: The title of Lu Ann’s next retrospective”

Spunky N. Tadpole
February 8th, 2009 at 2:08 pm [Reply]

Frist?

Yes, it’s unfortunate that old Judge Alan Parker has to be hiding in his basement during his own “retirement” party – that way, we get to see less of the doings upstairs – and less curvaceous female flesh in revealing evening wear – than the lead-in to this fairly lame strip would have indicated.

But that’s OK, in Judge Parker time, Sam and the Judge’s conversation (ten minutes) will take about two weeks of strips – and then we will, no doubt, get right back to more shots of Abbey ~~falling out of~~ filling out her dress: this IS a Barreto strip, after all.
Shoshi
February 8th, 2009 at 2:09 pm [Reply]

I’m more intrigued by Mary’s comment that “it feels great, no matter HOW it looks!”
Winky's Spleen
February 8th, 2009 at 2:09 pm [Reply]

First? Anyway, is the PGA subsidizing the Walker-Browne conglomerate?
Josh
February 8th, 2009 at 2:13 pm [Reply]

re: yesterthread’s conversation re: the unnaturalness of “Dear My Girlfriend Pigita” — yes, of course this isn’t idiomatic English, but, as someone who likes to play with words and/or linguistic conventions, I’d say that this is exactly why it’s funny. There’s a logic to it, even if it isn’t the logic by which English usually works; so, it’s perfectly comprehensible, but you have to linger over it just long enough to get that little kick of the unexpected that is the origin of a lot of humor. I feel like my usual nickname for Gil Thorp’s wife, who is also a coach — “Coach Mrs. Coach Thorp” — works as a joke in the same way.
Winky's Spleen
February 8th, 2009 at 2:16 pm [Reply]

Oh, and judging from the second panel of Mary Worth, Mary is such a hard-core UCLA fan that she’ll paint her face in the colors at random intervals. And Frank is enough of a sport that he’ll go along with it.
Echo
February 8th, 2009 at 2:24 pm [Reply]

I love Margo. That’s all.
Echo
February 8th, 2009 at 2:26 pm [Reply]

Actually, I have something to add: I want a t-shirt with the “ultimate Margo-ism” on it.
BigTed
February 8th, 2009 at 2:28 pm [Reply]

The fact that the two business-suited men who look exactly the same in “Judge Parker” keep changing places as the strip shifts perspective is driving me crazy. It’s a good thing they’re following the Clark Kent rule by having one of them wear glasses, or we’d never have any idea which one’s the boring creep and which one’s the annoying jerk.
Roto13
February 8th, 2009 at 2:29 pm [Reply]

Apparently the Bumsteads laugh like they’re screaming for help.”Ha! Ha!

…

HAAAA!”
Charterstoned
February 8th, 2009 at 2:29 pm [Reply]

How about a harlequin-patterned t-shirt that says “It feels great, no matter how it looks!”
Skullturf Q. Beavispants
February 8th, 2009 at 2:30 pm [Reply]

4 Josh — it’s like in the Homestar Runner “Teen Girl Squad” cartoons:

“Ow! My the fact that I was alive a second ago!”
Erik
February 8th, 2009 at 2:35 pm [Reply]

11 – Homestar Runner is amazing. It vaguely reminds me of Josh in some ways.
BigTed
February 8th, 2009 at 2:35 pm [Reply]

The continuing suggestion of a relationship between Mary and the much-younger Frank is too creepy for words. It’s not as if she’s a cougar — she’s more like one of those sea turtles that might be 60 or might be 200, no one can tell.
Yanni
February 8th, 2009 at 2:39 pm [Reply]

Why the hell are Mary and Frank in the basement of that house, and what is Frank showing Mary that’s “pretty nice”?

And why the hell is there a driveway leading up to the window?
Mooncattie
February 8th, 2009 at 2:40 pm [Reply]

MW –
FRANK: He’s a lucky guy.
MARY: (Why, in the last year alone, I cock-teased him with a dog named Chester AND a City Councillor with Mommy Issues! Plus, I meddled his son into quitting his job and running away to Vietnam!) I’m the lucky one!
Salmo
February 8th, 2009 at 2:42 pm [Reply]

I can’t believe you didn’t include today’s Beetle Bailey. It is by a huge margin the most obvious “This strip is now done by crabby old men” I have ever seen.
Thinks He's Brenda Starr
February 8th, 2009 at 2:56 pm [Reply]

I like that Blondie just says “chuckle!” I imagine that when she sneezes, she actually says “short inhale-SNEEZE!”
fnord3125
February 8th, 2009 at 2:57 pm [Reply]

Blondie: Who the hell SAYS “chuckle” instead of just laughing?
peabody
February 8th, 2009 at 3:07 pm [Reply]

Who else thinks that the “And I’m just taking my time about it” panel of Judge Parker should be in every strip of the feature, as an introduction?
peabody
February 8th, 2009 at 3:08 pm [Reply]

On second thought, I think that it would be perfectly acceptable as the only panel.
Hank
February 8th, 2009 at 3:09 pm [Reply]

That Margo panel should be a Lichtenstein. Seriously.
Mibbitmaker
February 8th, 2009 at 3:11 pm [Reply]

Mutts: Nice. That bird is like a Bob Ross signature here.

9CL: Thorax doesn’t utter a word in this one — and it still makes me hate him.

MW: Yeah, Frank, you’re better off not persuing her any further. The last guy who persued her after she said no…. well, you really don’t want to know. Trust me!

S-M: “Blackout Blues”? Sounds like a song from the World War II era.

JP: That last, round panel shows us the exact moment the judge realized he was essentially Michael Patterson.
Salvor (Chuckle) Hardin
February 8th, 2009 at 3:13 pm [Reply]

Chuckle. Guffaw. Snicker. My these are my sounds I make when reading CC. Chortle!
Jack Bishop
February 8th, 2009 at 3:19 pm [Reply]

“Dewey-Cheatham House”? I don’t read Judge Parker as religiously as you do — in fact, I don’t read it at all — but I thought it took itself far too seriously to randomly throw in timeworn puns.
Nathan
February 8th, 2009 at 3:20 pm [Reply]

Mary’s face in the second panel is colored like the dvd cover art to the I am Curious Blue/Yellow box set. That is subtlety at its most daring and awful.
Uncle Lumpy
February 8th, 2009 at 3:22 pm [Reply]

A quick Google of “sexy diaper boxing” leads only here. Thank God. Or, in another sense, what have we become?
Master Softheart
February 8th, 2009 at 3:28 pm [Reply]

Today it’s all about Judge Parker.

BigTed @8: You are unwise to harsh on Baretto. One of the identically-besuited upper class men has streaks of gray, is wearing heavy reading glasses, has thicker eyebrows, and sports a higher forehead (with more age lines) as a result of a receding hair line. In Apartment 3G, these differences would mark the two of them as members of different species… indeed possibly different genera.

JP: Speaking of the Judge, I really want to know what exciting adventures Parker Sr. and Sam used to have back in the day (you know, about two months ago strip time when it was being published in the 1960’s). It must be blockbuster stuff if a thinly fictionalized version can get a book contract with that many zeros in the advance. Admittedly an advance from an odious halfwit with a punchline for a name whose only interest in the comic lies in the fact that his death led us to Dixie and Detective Lycra, but the point remains. If it wouldn’t involve staring at the disturbing and oddly stylized of Harold LeDoux, I would go look for collections of the strip somewhere.

Not to insult LeDoux, but compare Exhibit A: Trudi as imagined by LeDoux with Exhibit B: Trudi as imagined by Baretto.

The Baretto defense rests. If he could get an advance from someone to publish a re-illustrated book of the last four decades of Judge Parker, I would pre-order on Amazon today.

MW: Call me Softhearted, but the idea of Mary experiencing human enjoyment at something aside from dominating another life and twisting it to her desires and sense of propriety is uplifting.
Digger
February 8th, 2009 at 3:30 pm [Reply]

So are those brooms supposed to be Dagwood’s hair or were Elmo and his friends just playing out the fantasy of stabbing him repeatedly in the brain.
ribinin
February 8th, 2009 at 3:30 pm [Reply]

A quick Google of “sexy diaper boxing” leads only here.

We might be able to raise CC consciousness by all Googling it at once. Say at 7PM Pacific, then every hour for four hours.
Carol
February 8th, 2009 at 3:31 pm [Reply]

I’m in for the Margo shirt.
bats :[
February 8th, 2009 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

How does one go about petitioning the International Olympic Committee to include an exhibition sport? I’m behind (ahem) Sexy Diaper Boxing all the way!

P.S. I was so hoping that Mary would slash that dippy little girl in purple with her skate…
kelsy
February 8th, 2009 at 3:45 pm [Reply]

I just made Margo my desktop background. I now have tiles upon tiles of Margo’s film-noir trope to remind me how to be more of a jerk every time I turn on my computer.
Uncle Lumpy
February 8th, 2009 at 3:47 pm [Reply]

Oh, Lordy: actual diaper boxing. Not sexy, though!
ribinin
February 8th, 2009 at 3:57 pm [Reply]

Diaper boxing – good for your relationship it says. I suppose that depends on if one is the boxer or the boxee.
commodorejohn
February 8th, 2009 at 3:57 pm [Reply]

A3G – Margo needs neither patience nor acceptance. She has booze.

BB – YOU GODDAMN KIDS GET OFF MY LAWN

Curtis – Best easily-misinterpretable phrase in today’s funnies: “Curtis, I wouldn’t pay this much for an operation! And why do you want girls’ boots?”

DT – I give up. There’s no way this plot is ever going to make any kind of sense.

FW – Say, Tom, if you want to inspire people to save the Earth, maybe it would be a good idea not to preach at them from a strip where life is so miserable and dreary that catastrophic ecological ruin would just be doing a favor to the billions who die in the process.

JP – I sympathize with the Judge. Nothing is more annoying to an antisocial person than some halfwit barging into their lair to nag them into mingling. I’ll interact when I want to interact, dammit!

Lio – skirts around some interesting territory today.

MF – When Tinsley can effectively satirize something, you know it’s fucked up.

MT – If the terms “elephant seal” and “mating season” don’t inspire terror in you, well, they should.

MW – Please God don’t let this be a lead-in to geriatric rink sex.

MC – Hey, is that Minoru from Lucky Channel?

NS – Wiley Miller has never been outside of a city in his life.

PBS – I’m with Josh on the whole “dear my girlfriend” thing; gently torturing the English language is funny.

PV – You can tell he’s a scholar because he’s dressed exactly like the Scholar class from Final Fantasy III.

RMMD – My God, is Rex…doing doctor stuff? When did this turn into a medical drama? Anyway, I’m glad they’ve got classic Norwalk; that whole “new Norwalk” virus just wasn’t the same.

SFx – Hey, is that Abbey Spencer in Six Differences? I’d paint her fence any day.

SM – “Call me on my CELL PHONE! You know, since this strip is TOTALLY MODERN AND HIP and not at all about dorks in spandex battling other dorks in spandex! Did I mention that THIS STRIP IS POPPIN’ FRESH and MARRIAGE IS FOR SQUARES? Sincerely, Joe Quesada.”
Joe Blevins
February 8th, 2009 at 4:02 pm [Reply]

MW: “What do you think? Pretty nice, huh?” “Oh my, Frank! It’s glowing!” “Don’t worry, Mary, the doctor tells me that’s perfectly natural!” By the way, Mare, the Protopopovs are well into their seventies by now and have plenty to worry about, namely the grim spectre of death hovering over their grayed and ancient heads.

H&L: My favorite little touch here is how Lois is holding up sealed envelopes to the light in an apparent attempt to read her family’s mail. Meanwhile, it appears Golf magazine has mistakenly printed its cover on the back page. And Hi only possesses sclerae when he ponders mortality statistics.
Uncle Lumpy
February 8th, 2009 at 4:02 pm [Reply]

Boxing Helena,in her sexy, sexy, diaper!
skullcrusherjones
February 8th, 2009 at 4:06 pm [Reply]

Mary, enjoy the freedom of international ice but be wary of the possibility of ice pirates.
KT
February 8th, 2009 at 4:07 pm [Reply]

Does this mean that the Phantom will take Dylan, the new delinquent in Gil Thorp, out with him next? It would be more fun than anything he would ever encounter in judgmental Milford.
rachel
February 8th, 2009 at 4:12 pm [Reply]

So if Popov is (supposedly) vodka, what’s Protopopov? A potato?
Joe Blevins
February 8th, 2009 at 4:14 pm [Reply]

The Phantom practically reads like a how-to manual for sex offenders. Step one: dress in purple spandex and a mask and convince your victim that you are a superhero. Step two: persuade your victim to put on a blindfold and tell him he is going to be riding a “horse.” Step three: at a certain critical moment, inform your victim that he or she is about to go through a “waterfall” and that he should “grab a breath and hold it.” Step four: your victim should be experiencing a form of Stockholm syndrome by this point and will now be willing to participate in home invasions with you.
Donald the Anarchist
February 8th, 2009 at 4:22 pm [Reply]

JP He hasn’t spoken to Sam in months but an absence of a few days had him worried?

MW OK, it’s a bit egotistical for Frank to assume Mary has romantic feelings for him, but who except her Charterstone buddies would credit the idea that she’d travel all that way just to meddle? At least sex is a human drive.

A3G …which of course means it’s ultimately lost on Margo. I keep expecting her to say “Emotions, feelings, what are you talking about?”
Crankenstank
February 8th, 2009 at 4:28 pm [Reply]

I can feel the eternal debate about diaper boxing about to erupt: cloth or disposable?
Poteet
February 8th, 2009 at 4:34 pm [Reply]

# 41 Joe Blevins — BWAHAHA!
True Fable
February 8th, 2009 at 4:37 pm [Reply]

Tomorrow, Judge Parker will chew Sam out for not taking the opportunity to bang Hot Detective Heidi while he had the chance, and letting Dixie Julep get lead poisoning.

“Damn it, Sam! I send you down there to loosen up, and you totally blow the whole thing! Next time I’ll fucking go!”
Foolkiller
February 8th, 2009 at 4:43 pm [Reply]

Mary Worth: and the punchline is, “looks terrible, feels great!”
Foolkiller
February 8th, 2009 at 4:46 pm [Reply]

Mary Worth joke
Baka Gaijin
February 8th, 2009 at 4:54 pm [Reply]

A dark horse is full of win today…Better Half:

There are 100 billion brain cells in my head and I want you to apologize to each one individually!

I’m waiting, Cathy Guisewite.
Amateur
February 8th, 2009 at 4:55 pm [Reply]

MW: Mary had a chance to become Lynn’s ever-meddling stepmother and she didn’t take it!? I am bereft. Think of all the fun we’re going to miss. She could have meddled that girl right into a last-place finish at the Olympics and subsequent hara-kiri.
RDub
February 8th, 2009 at 5:01 pm [Reply]

Others have already commented on it but I can’t let this:

“Yes well it feels great, no matter how it looks!”

pass without a *shudder*.
Dean Booth of the Affect Ad Patrol
February 8th, 2009 at 5:01 pm [Reply]

A3G, Shepard Fairey style
Mr. Blue
February 8th, 2009 at 5:02 pm [Reply]

Is this the most innuendo-laden Mary Worth ever? I would say so, if not for every other strip I’ve ever seen.
user-of-owls
February 8th, 2009 at 5:02 pm [Reply]

The association between the words “Mary Worth” and “battle-axe” is seemingly becoming less figurative given her Braveheart makeup in the top panel. I think the last panel was meant to read, “Let’s just enjoy this moment of freedom from English tyranny on the ice”
Kreestal Baal
February 8th, 2009 at 5:14 pm [Reply]

Well, the ice-skating story winds to a close, without any son of a celebrity kissing a mountain with his jet. And it’s certainly been, uh, interesting. On your way out, could you please ask your friend, the little sailor, to please…step up?
Madame Incognita
February 8th, 2009 at 5:19 pm [Reply]

I love how Dagwood’s son is laughing at the head as well, apparently oblivious that he has inherited his father’s horrific yet strangely fascinating (I mean, does it grow that way naturally?) hairstyle.
Rohmie
February 8th, 2009 at 5:20 pm [Reply]

I first read that word balloon as “Maybe we’ll see you in Matewan someday,” which made me anticipate a John Sayles remake entitled The Phantom: Tights with Guns.
Rohmie
February 8th, 2009 at 5:26 pm [Reply]

My God! That snow bust has turned Dagwood into a giant acupunctured geisha.
Dr. Weird
February 8th, 2009 at 5:31 pm [Reply]

NS: Deer are responsible for more human deaths than any other animal in North America, thanks to them wandering out on the road and being hit by cars. Furrthermore, with no natural predators left, there are huge herds of deer starving to death in a great many places. So yes, the herds of deer do need to be thinned for reasons beyond evil Republican-Capitalist bloodlust.
Farley's Revenger
February 8th, 2009 at 5:31 pm [Reply]

# 40 rachel says:
February 8th, 2009 at 4:12 pm

So if Popov is (supposedly) vodka, what’s Protopopov? A potato?

With the use of the prefix “proto”, it could indicate the original model of a Popov, the “prototype” if you will. Or else it’s the designation of the protozoan form of a Popov. It could even be the term indicating a seldom mentioned sexual position involving trampolines.

Hell, I don’t know…but if it’s mentioned in MW, it must be something that is tedious and boring, with nothing even remotely interesting happening except opportunities for Mary to mega-meddle.
Farley's Revenger
February 8th, 2009 at 5:32 pm [Reply]

Sunday’s SF: I have memorized Hilary’s comment and plan to use it whenever possible.
Pastor Z
February 8th, 2009 at 5:33 pm [Reply]

Mary: “Yes, well it feels great! No matter HOW it looks!”
Frank: “Looks great too… er… uh… MY EYES! MY EYES! ARGHHHH….”
Brick Bradford
February 8th, 2009 at 5:35 pm [Reply]

I am officially calling upon the funny pages powers that be for a Cage Match between Margo and Mary Worth–to the death! Preferably the death of both.
sugarpie
February 8th, 2009 at 5:36 pm [Reply]

#47 Foolkiller- Is it ok if I laughed at that joke? Because I did.
NoVan
February 8th, 2009 at 5:39 pm [Reply]

Prince Valiant: Oh, snap! Thanks to ~~Winky~~ Nathan, this comic is about to go all Jurassic Park on us! I can hardly wait.
bats :[
February 8th, 2009 at 5:44 pm [Reply]

35. commodorejohn re RMMD: yes, but knowing Rex, it won’t last.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/3263822271/sizes/o/
commodorejohn
February 8th, 2009 at 5:49 pm [Reply]

#62 Brick Bradford – Ah, the age-old question: what happens when an unstoppable meddle meets an immovable ego?
NoVan
February 8th, 2009 at 5:55 pm [Reply]

Slylock Fox: Oh, that’s real nice. Everyone flees the store when the skunk strolls in. Talk about social stigmatization! It’s no wonder that our pal has a bone to pick with society. For it is not our pal Stinky who is guilty of robbery- it is an unjust, undemocratic citizenry that profiles and excludes this man, and thus robs him of his dignity! Before passing judgement, let us all remember the words of Scripture: “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.” I say to you, ladies and gentlemen, that justice shall not be served by propagating the oppression of the oppressed, but by lifting the shackles of tyranny from the marginalized and forgotten few. And with that, Your Honor, I rest my case.
Baka Gaijin
February 8th, 2009 at 6:04 pm [Reply]

#65 bats :[ : Poop germs!
Poteet
February 8th, 2009 at 6:08 pm [Reply]

# 58 Dr. Weird — You are right about deer-caused accidents. And deer overpopulation is an “ongoing ecological catastrophe” (BioScience) that is harming a variety of species that include many declining wildflowers and songbirds. Previous strips along the same line are one reason I took NS off my list. I don’t need the aggravation.
Poteet
February 8th, 2009 at 6:11 pm [Reply]

# 67 NoVan — Yeah. Also, while skunks do tend to carry a certain aura with them, so do some dogs.
Poteet
February 8th, 2009 at 6:13 pm [Reply]

# 62 Brick — An interesting idea. On one hand, Margo would have the advantage of youth. On the other hand, Mary is not necessarily human. Also, her hair is ungrabbable, unlike Margo’s bun.
spinster with cat
February 8th, 2009 at 6:20 pm [Reply]

Blondie – What I find most perplexing is that Dagwood’s son also finds the Easter-Island-head-meets-snow-sculpture rendition of Dagwood hilarious even though Alexander has the exact same head.
jumpcut
February 8th, 2009 at 6:24 pm [Reply]

Can’t believe no one caught the pun in the final Judge Parker panels. The name of the publishing company is “Dewey, Cheatham and Howe.” (Do We Cheat ‘em, and How!) …a famous firm from Three Stooges fame. That, no doubt, is the reason for Judge Parker’s grimace in the final panel.
Stroker Ace
February 8th, 2009 at 6:30 pm [Reply]

Judge Parker – Criminy this strip is dull. At least Atticus Finch shot a rabid dog.
Rachel K
February 8th, 2009 at 6:34 pm [Reply]

In all fairness to the Sandwich God, Dagwood’s question is one anyone would ask if they heard someone laughing anywhere in the vicinity of that strip…
teddytoad
February 8th, 2009 at 6:43 pm [Reply]

“Let’s enjoy our freedom on the ice” to me sounds more like it should come from Tommy, before shooting up heroin with his best gal pal.

And in Blondie: if anyone needed more proof that B.B. is a Stepford Wives fembot whose circuits are corroding with the life of this legacy strip, “Chuckle! Hi Honey!” should do it.
sugarpie
February 8th, 2009 at 6:47 pm [Reply]

#73 Jumpcut. I think someone did comment above, #24, but it’ just too sad for most to be bothered with. Today’s strip looks like an old Perry Mason TV episode as remembered from when I was 7 year old: wrist-slitttingly dull.
dyslexic dog
February 8th, 2009 at 6:52 pm [Reply]

Congratulations, Sir Speed Bump Coverly. You managed to squeeze out the one we missed.

dyslexic dog,
Assawoman, VA
Muffaroo
February 8th, 2009 at 7:07 pm [Reply]

Poteet @Y54 – Ho ho! I grew up about five miles north of Loveland, Colorado. How we used to laugh at their Valentine’s Day displays — little heart-shaped signs here and there with sayings like “Cupid’s Home Town” and “23 Skidoo!” I think they’re still famous in some circles for their Valentine’s Day postmarks, which in my day had an illustrated poem about “Dan Cupid” on them. I have a couple old pieces of sheet music like “Loveland Days” and “I’d Love to Live in Loveland (With a Girl Like You),” but was somewhat disappointed to find out in recent years that ours was not the only Loveland in the US. Up to then, I thought perhaps the songs referred — in an ignorant, misguided way, considering the real town — to Fort Collins’s backward sibling. Alas.

Baka Gaijin @Y68 – “Quijibo” is a perfectly cromulent word. Indeed, and its use embiggens the smallest Mudge.

BIg Thyme @Y85 – I was just reading the first book of Little Orphan Annie, and the new strip would have to be pretty damn lively to outpace some of the action in that. A thug arrested in one strip is convicted in the next — most strips would spend a week just showing the cops coming up to the porch.

Aviatrix @Y96 – I used to wonder the same thing about older horror movies getting mileage from claiming that the horror du jour was electric. And, of course, they did. Frankenstein, Man Made Monster, and various others all fit the bill well enough.
Dagger
February 8th, 2009 at 7:09 pm [Reply]

My thoughts exactly, NoVan! Pure species racism.

Perhaps if Slylock had, I don’t know, INVESTIGATED the crime scene, he may have been able to gather some more evidence to help find a culprit. Such as the note that said “To Do List: bandage face, tatter shirt, rob store.”
Muffaroo
February 8th, 2009 at 7:09 pm [Reply]

Just trace the Margo panel yourself, and don’t try too hard to get it right. That’s how you do Lichtensteins.

Joe Blevins @41 – Well done!

MWorth – The more I think about it, the sadder I am that Graham Ingles isn’t around to draw this strip. Though, for that matter, there aren’t many strips that wouldn’t be improved by having him on them for at least a couple of weeks. Just imagine the horrid neighbor lady in “One Big Happy” drawn by “Ghastly.” Or the Family Circus. I could go on (as I’m sure you all know by now).

Zombie FOOB – I haven’t read this since shortly after the switchover, but I just know Ingels would be the perfect artist for it. Even if it was just someone cutting and pasting his old stuff in Photoshop and putting new speech balloons on it. (I’d do it myself, but this would involve looking at the strip.)

MTrail – Not a comment on a particular strip, but is it possible Ken has a flesh-colored mustache? Speaking of EC artists, this one always looks like it’s drawn by Jack Kamen.
Spunky N. Tadpole
February 8th, 2009 at 7:12 pm [Reply]

@ # 51 – Dean Booth:

Speaking of Shepard Fairey: seems like his latest outdoor “exhibition” wasn’t appreciated in Boston. Maybe he’ll reserve the “Dope” tag for a self-portrait?

@ Josh: Bizarre as the giant snow-Dagwood-head is, it doesn’t look much like any sort of “worship”: more like sympathetic-[black]-magic, a sort of huge outdoor voodoo doll. As the snow melts, hopefully, so will Dagwood….
Talking Squirrel
February 8th, 2009 at 7:14 pm [Reply]

#63 yesterthread – ChattyGenes sez:

I’ve taught English as a Foreign Language for years here in Japan. A very common writing mistake is for a student to begin a personal letter with “Dear my XXX.” For example, “Dear my friend” or “Dear my teacher.”

=======================

I see this as more a Japanese cultural than an English language thing. As a resident gaijin, you’re well aware of the Japanese propensity to feature strangely constructed English (with ofttimes unfathomable meanings) on t-shirts, shopping bags, etc. etc.

“My” seems to be one of their very favorite English possessive pronouns (possibly attributable to subconscious rebellion against life in a society with a strongly collectivist heritage?)

This is perhaps best exemplified in their marketing of “My Ass” toilet paper some years ago.
Poteet
February 8th, 2009 at 7:20 pm [Reply]

# 79 Muffaroo — Ho ho indeed! I do like the song “Loveland” by Stephen Sondheim.

Upon reflection, Loveland is a fairly dignified name compared to Climax, a town in Michigan not far from Kalamazoo, where I went to college. Ah, the puerile jokes I heard about Climax when I was in college. A few of which I heard because I uttered them. I think there may be a few Climaxes in other states as well.

Um. There I go again.
Minnie
February 8th, 2009 at 7:20 pm [Reply]

#40 Rachel, too funny!
MW — the Potato-Vodkas stopped being Olympic champs over 40 years ago.

I wish Batiuk could be assigned to this strip — it badly needs his unique touch to bring the plot to a more-than satisfying-denouement. I could even tolerate his funereal fart-jokes if something — anything — could just kill off Mary and her creepy suitors.

Phantom — what’s with the sicko-grey skin? Please whoever is doing the coloring, make ‘em Smurf-blue, or rose, or moss-green, or hey! Try human skin-tones! Lots of lovely ones to choose from!

But do send the grey-skin recipe to Batiuk, and to MW’s challenged colorist, for the open-casket scenes.
AtomicDog
February 8th, 2009 at 7:25 pm [Reply]

Non Sequitur – Sigh. Another sanctimonious strip about how us evil humans are destroying nature.

http://www.gocomics.com/nonsequitur/2009/02/08/

Hey, you deer. In case you haven’t noticed it, you are prey. If it’s not a hunter, it’s gonna be a wolf, a grizzly, or a mountain lion. Your choice is either a clean shot through the heart or being disemboweled and eaten alive.
Also, predators prefer to take your children. Hunters don’t.
Poteet
February 8th, 2009 at 7:27 pm [Reply]

Monday Spoiler ReFoob. Theme: Connie is a “crazy emotional nut-case.” Characters: John and Elly. I say: Arrrgh. ReFoob is turning me into a crazy emotional nutcase myself.

I’m done. ReFoob is henceforth off my list.
Edmund Schluessel
February 8th, 2009 at 7:29 pm [Reply]

Hi & Lois has been running for 54 years. Shouldn’t the midlife crisis have been in the 1990s?
ChattyGenes
February 8th, 2009 at 7:33 pm [Reply]

#87 Poteet.

“I’m done. ReFoob is henceforth off my list.”

Nyah, nyah, nyah, nyah, nyah
I know you can’t do it!
Nyah, nyah, nyah, nyah, nyah
I know you can’t do it!

(etc., until you clamp your hands over your ears and start chanting “I’m not listening, I’m not listening, I’m not listening…”)
ChattyGenes
February 8th, 2009 at 7:40 pm [Reply]

me @89. You can’t quit reading it, I mean. (But any Mudgie who has a sibling could probably figure out what I meant.)
Phoebe
February 8th, 2009 at 7:41 pm [Reply]

“Chuckle!”
Poteet
February 8th, 2009 at 7:41 pm [Reply]

# 89 Chatty — I’m tempted to yell “Oh,you’re so on, Sister!” But you have a point. I’m going to try to do it. We’ll see.
Slink
February 8th, 2009 at 7:42 pm [Reply]

Sure, the kids are worshipping Dagwood as a God, but as a God buried up to his neck with reinforcements bringing in wheelbarrows of more snow to finish the job.
ChattyGenes
February 8th, 2009 at 7:50 pm [Reply]

#92 Poteet. If I can’t quit, YOU can’t quit. I will email you HINTS about the strips. I will email you LINKS to the strip. Heh heh.

(And now I’d better shut up before Josh sends us both to our rooms.)
ChattyGenes
February 8th, 2009 at 7:54 pm [Reply]

#94 me. See, I’m getting even. Just as I finished posting my long comparison of Current Connie and Classic Connie the other day, Mr. CG DID walk into the house. The first thing he said to me was, “You still haven’t done the DISHES?!”

“I’m going to do them right now,” I said, and promptly did so.

Ah, Comics Curmudgeon. The ultimate home-wrecker.

(Please don’t banish me Josh, I promise to shut up now.)
bitter law student
February 8th, 2009 at 8:00 pm [Reply]

It really is nice to see in these uncertain times of ours, economically speaking, that, in the dying-est of all media, the newspaper, there is room for a strip that focuses on the petty trials and tribulations of the upper-upper-middle class. Broken down cruises and yachts, inexplicable book deals that aren’t quite what you thought, loveless homosexual marriages, etc. I guess what I’m trying to say is that Judge Parker gives me hope about the future.
Steve the Pocket
February 8th, 2009 at 8:04 pm [Reply]

The hate for today’s Non Sequitur is interesting. I wonder if any of those people remember that Calvin and Hobbes did the same joke at one point. And his actually involved a person getting shot by a deer. (Talk about making your point with a blunt object.)
Mr. O'Malley
February 8th, 2009 at 8:40 pm [Reply]

94. flippyshark. Thanks for the Peanuts research. I’m disappointed to learn that my memories of decades-old comic strips are faulty, but I’ll get over it.

bats :[ re “Good My Lady”. I guess Angry Kem is buried under a pile of student papers, because she hasn’t been around lately. She is the one who would know about this usage. “good my lord” appears in Shakespeare, so I guess it’s authentic.

NS: Take this link and scroll down for the sad story of deer on Angel Island. Mark Trail was right, it seems.

97. Steve the Pocket. Lio has done similar gags. Taking it a bit further, though.

67. NoVan. I just recently watched a PBS show about skunks and their loveable qualities. People keep non-de-scented skunks as pets without too much difficulty, it seems. Another interesting fast is that rattlesnakes are afraid of skunks, not because of their spray, but because they have mongoose-like snake killing skills.

I got an unpleasant shock this morning when I discovered that my newly redesigned paper is carrying ReFoob on Sundays. Does Tundra not do Sundays? Or maybe it’s to do with the differing lead times of Sundays and dailies.

John appears to be fixing a drain that comes out of a computer. It looks like it has a flat panel display. And why would someone trying to fix the plumbing on a computer bring small children along? Please let this ghastly revenant be a temporary phenomenon!
Buck Ripsnort
February 8th, 2009 at 8:42 pm [Reply]

Dagwood’s worshipers brought to mind an old Gahan Wilson cartoon: “How cute! And what kind of sacrifices are you planning to make to your snow idol, Timmy?” Meanwhile the children of the ~~corn~~ snow gather behind him, bearing scythes and ice-picks.

If someone were to do this to Dagwood, I’d be the happiest little boy ever.
Mr. O'Malley
February 8th, 2009 at 8:43 pm [Reply]

“fact”, of course.
dale
February 8th, 2009 at 8:52 pm [Reply]

FOOB (*)

1) Worst building directory I’ve ever seen.

2) Why is John doing his own office plumbing repairs? Maybe he doesn’t pay rent, but does all the maintenance work for the place.

3) Why is there a PC on top of the sink? If that’s the best place for the computer, shut off the water feeds and mop up the water. The dripping will stop eventually.

(*) I was between Preview and Post when #98 appeared.
Artist formerly known as Ben
February 8th, 2009 at 8:53 pm [Reply]

H&L: “Oh, and hey, would it be cool with you if I started sleeping with Chip’s math tutor? It’s kind of part of the midlife crisis package.”

BB: The general just can’t get over the crazy styles that today’s 45 year olds are wearing.

RMMD: “Funny twist, though. All our Latin crewmembers are being gradually bleached. In a couple of days I expect to be an exact replica of Phil Silvers.”

DtM: The latest form of menacing? Giving valentines early. I know I’m shaking in my boots.

HtH: “Okay, we were classy on our end. Let the mass beheading begin.”
Matmaduke
February 8th, 2009 at 8:55 pm [Reply]

Perhaps Ms Worth should start a compound/ranch of some sort with all these advances from the assorted dudes in the strip. I can just imagine the look on her current beau’s face when she tells him that he’s just not satisfying her enough.

Also, Margo is awesome, I’m pretty sure I’ve met her transvestite doppelganger.
dale
February 8th, 2009 at 9:18 pm [Reply]

Luann – science project

You may be able to suck the research off the Internet, but procuring lab equipment for visual aids overnight could be a problem.
troy macgregor
February 8th, 2009 at 9:18 pm [Reply]

#16
and it features the typical crabby old men’s default idea of “young people fashion” as being some ridiculous pastiche of 1960s and 1980s fashion. Dammit why can’t kids today dress all square and repress their sexuality like they did in the good ol’ days?
Madeline
February 8th, 2009 at 9:26 pm [Reply]

Can I point out that “Hi & Lois” makes NO sense? Life expectancy for men ranges from 65 to 95? The what now? Does this number represent an average or a median? Or does Hi think that men are scientifically incapable of dying before the age of 65? Or that no man has ever lived past the age of 95?

As far as I know, the life expectancy for men ranges from 0-120. This is based on the life span of Shigechiyo Izumi (1865-1986), the alleged oldest man to have lived, as well as on the seemingly obvious reality that a male human being is capable of dying at any age.
Phred22
February 8th, 2009 at 9:30 pm [Reply]

Slylock: If the jewellers deserted their wares when the skunk walked in, imagine what these poor citizens forced to stand next to him in the lineup are going through. I sincerely hope they are truly despicable criminals because, when Slylock cries, “I accuse,” we could get some real bedlam. I’m envisioning a lot of police brutality suits in the near future.
Skullturf Q. Beavispants
February 8th, 2009 at 9:43 pm [Reply]

105 Troy and 106 Madeline: yes, and yes! On both counts!

You get the feeling Walker hasn’t looked at an actual young person, or at least taken any note of how they dress, in many decades.

And I was going to say something about the life expectancy business, too, but was a little worried about getting too pedantic. One could say something like “life expectancy at birth is 75 years”, meaning that the single number 75 is an average. The most generous interpretation I could think of for Hi’s words is something like “in some jurisdictions, life expectancy is 65; in others, it is 95″. In which case it is almost certainly false, by the way; 95 is unlikely to be the mean lifespan anywhere.
Cranky
February 8th, 2009 at 9:45 pm [Reply]

Can anybody explain what Mary Worth needs freedom from, exactly? The tyranny of casserole baking? The tyranny of pool parties? The tyranny of the incessant pull of meddling? She’s a goddamn widow with a platonic boyfriend and plenty of cash. What’s with all the “freedom” prattle, Moy?

Sadly, I’m sort of genuinely annoyed with the writer of “Mary Worth.” I’ve had prouder days.
Aelfric
February 8th, 2009 at 9:49 pm [Reply]

The ’someone special’ waiting for Mary simply cannot be the good doctor–it makes no sense. He’s just another form of meddling prey, and thus, indistinguishable from other life forms. She’s probably referring to the charred skull of Aldo Kelrast that she keeps as a grisly trophy of her greatest victory.
FOOBed again
February 8th, 2009 at 10:07 pm [Reply]

OK, I had to Google the Protopopovs:
http://figureskating.about.com/b/2008/09/01/what-ever-happened-to-the-protopopovs.htm
Malethoth K
February 8th, 2009 at 10:10 pm [Reply]

oh god lio’s a furry
HELL YEAH
Idols of Mud
February 8th, 2009 at 10:10 pm [Reply]

Judge Parker: Today Judge Parker pays tribute to the classic Saturday Night Live sketch, Mr. No Depth Perception. The elder Judge Parker, assuming his son is several yards away, extends his 18 foot arms and screams his greetings across the chasm. Judge Parker No. 2 shouts back before hurling his dad’s contract at him, amazed his dad can read the contract without a microscope.

Later, they talk about how Dewey is a real slut.
nmax696
February 8th, 2009 at 10:12 pm [Reply]

# 84 – here in WA. state there’s a town called “humptulips” Keep meaning to visit it.
Trilobite
February 8th, 2009 at 10:26 pm [Reply]

I choose to interpret Judge Parker’s expression in the final panel of Sunday’s comic as apologetic. His narrowed eyes and slight frown seem to say “Yeah, I know, that totally sucked. I’m ashamed to have my name on this.”

And you know what? I forgive him. He’s the first eponymous soap-comic star who’s ever even given me a silent expression of regret for inflicting a lame storyline on me. Hell, Mary Worth fucking taunts us at the end of each one of her “adventures” by dragging out the final moments into a week-long celebration of how much the sad bastards she meddles with deeply adore her. Think we’re ever going to get an admission of guilt out of HER? No way.

Judge Alan Parker, you are a class act. Well, not classy enough to have put a stop to the whole “my publisher bet his company’s money on a single shot in golf, lost, and got killed by a stripper before he filled out the paperwork…but his company’s going to honor the wager anyway!” thing, but still, kudos for having the simple decency to be ashamed of it.

I’d say that I’ll miss the old man when he retires and his son takes over the judgeship, but…well, this is only the second time I’ve ever seen him, so I really won’t.
ChattyGenes
February 8th, 2009 at 11:13 pm [Reply]

(To the tune of “Take Me Out to the Ballgame”)

Take me out to the boxing
Take me out to the match
Sexy diapers on strangely-ripped kids
This new costume–it certainly rids us of
Admiration for boxing
Look at it! It’s a shame–
For it’s one, two, three farts you’re out
At the boxing game!
Windier E. Megatons
February 8th, 2009 at 11:13 pm [Reply]

The writers of The Phantom seem awfully confident that they’re constantly bringing in new readers with their never-ending need to explain why Ol’ Purple Tights goes by “Walker.” If I were the 94-year-old shut-in who is no doubt the lone unironic reader this strip still has, I feel like I’d be very offended at the idea that I’d forgotten.
Beatrice
February 8th, 2009 at 11:26 pm [Reply]

#21 Hank: I was let go from a job back in the Kotzky days of A3G for using the office copier to blow up Margo panels to Lichtenstein-like proportions. I wish I still had them.
prospero
February 8th, 2009 at 11:31 pm [Reply]

Look, you bozos. The ship’s doctor identifies the symptoms, but insists he can’t make a diagnosis, even though he seems to identify classic Norwalk virus. Might be Cthulhu Nythos, rising up from the deep. But more likely:

MRSA. Evil wrestling mats aboard the Ship of Fools. MRSA!
Doug Puthoff
February 8th, 2009 at 11:42 pm [Reply]

2-8

Classic Peanuts: Maybe Charlie Brown should’ve picked a cooler nickname like “A-Train,” or “Rajah,” or “Sackmeister,” or even “Clambake.”

BB–It’s already happening, General. You ever seen those well-dressed Mormon kids?

FW–Of course, the day after we’ve cleaned up the earth, the Rapture will hit.
mir777
February 8th, 2009 at 11:48 pm [Reply]

Please, please make a fools and saints tshirt!
Kevin Moore
February 8th, 2009 at 11:50 pm [Reply]

Yes, a Margo t-shirt with that panel is a must.
pyano
February 8th, 2009 at 11:52 pm [Reply]

Josh, I must argue with your dismissal of Olympic training centers perhaps needing to make some money on the side. I went to an Irish dancing competition held at one. If there not gonna draw the line there, I doubt they’ll draw it at being a place for meddlers to get to second base.
Poteet
February 8th, 2009 at 11:59 pm [Reply]

# 118 Beatrice — A number of Mudges worship Margo, but sacrificing a job for her? WOW. You now have a special place in the Curmudgeon pantheon for me.
tb4000
February 9th, 2009 at 12:17 am [Reply]

No one thought to remind the Blondie writers that we are no longer living in the 1920’s, meaning that if your characters make vocalizations other than words, the sounds should be in parentheses or asterisks.
commodorejohn
February 9th, 2009 at 12:23 am [Reply]

#97 Steve The Pocket – The thing about the C&H strip is that it was funny, and Watterson didn’t let his views on hunting overshadow the humor. It was a terrific joke with a bit of message attached, easily discounted if you disagreed with it and sweetening the deal if you were like-minded. Same goes for the various Lio hunting strips; Tatulli might be anti-hunting, but he’s just doing the strips because Lio selling heavy artillery to fluffy woodland critters is funny. Today’s Non Sequitur, on the other hand, exists solely to preach at the masses from Wiley’s mighty oaken pulpit; there’s barely even a token effort to make it entertaining (although I must admit, the artwork is damned impressive.) Instead of being a killer joke with a little moral attached, it’s a heavy-handed sermon with a tiny sliver of humor tossed in. Not cool.
SecretMargo
February 9th, 2009 at 12:25 am [Reply]

118: As a fellow-Margophile (I mean, just look at my nom-de-blog), I have to agree with Poteet, and add that I can’t think of a better way to get fired. I wish you had them still too!
Poteet
February 9th, 2009 at 12:36 am [Reply]

# 126 commodorejohn — I was trying to think of a good way to explain why I felt there was such a difference between Watterson’s version and Wiley’s version. Thanks for doing it so well.
SecretMargo
February 9th, 2009 at 12:44 am [Reply]

JP: I can’t quite get over that the judge’s wife is, all this time, still waiting around for “more ice,” presumably with an incredibly lukewarm gin and tonic in her hand, or perhaps a sprained ankle with an oozing bag of completely thawed peas resting on it, or maybe just a burning desire to hear a few more records’ worth of quality white-man quasi-rap from the early 1990s.
farnsworth
February 9th, 2009 at 12:50 am [Reply]

I think it is fantastic that Mary Worth can only think of figure skaters who were in their prime forty years ago. Because, you know that there haven’t been any good couples figure skaters in the intervening decades.

Yes, this woman who is right on top of current events and the current state of the world is the woman I want to be guiding the social misfits of the world into a state of contentment.
fishmorgjp
February 9th, 2009 at 12:55 am [Reply]

No no, that’s not a snow sculpture of Dagwood’s head! Look how smooth and finished it appears! It’s actually a terrible alien creature that has plummeted to Earth (like the Blob), and is assuming what it takes to be a representative life form, even as it swells and bloats uncontrollably… even as the brave kids try to kill it with broomsticks!
Metz77
February 9th, 2009 at 12:57 am [Reply]

How is it that you guys get sunday comics at the online Chronicle? Whenever I try I can only get saturday.
SecretMargo
February 9th, 2009 at 1:03 am [Reply]

The creepiness of that Phantom is heightened for me by the panel where he’s telling his young charge to be quiet while discreetly chlorophorming his horse.
SecretMargo
February 9th, 2009 at 1:13 am [Reply]

And who is Flexer* looking at as his sister bids snuggly farewell to his erstwhile diaper-wrestling buddy? Is he trying to find a replacement already? Cold, dude. Cold, and kind of slutty.

*The Boy-Who-Flexes!
papa zita
February 9th, 2009 at 1:14 am [Reply]

A3G: Tommie’s sarcasm is even banal.

MW: Is Mary striking a pose in panel one? She looks like she needs a vanity mirror.

Rex Morgan, Masked Man: Crew, eh? I guess they don’t have to strike now. One step closer to the Voyage of the Damned. Can anyone in the first cabin steer a ship? Second cabin? Steerage? Stowaways? Nobody? Welcome to a watery hell.
sugarpie
February 9th, 2009 at 1:15 am [Reply]

Metz75 Here is the link. Several of the people posting sent it to me when I also asked. http://www.yo-god.com/comics/sundaycomics.htm?20090208

Everyone here has been so generous with that type of information. Thanks to all.
mollificent
February 9th, 2009 at 1:31 am [Reply]

Thanks for the driving advice/commiseration, everyone!

and True Fable…sorry for the horror story, but I just couldn’t help sharing. Yeah, there was a happy ending (sort of)!

I’ve kind of read the comics in dribs and drabs, so haven’t been able to come up with much snark, but I DO have to get this off my chest:

MF: PLEASE NEVER NEVER NEVER make me associate “Mallard Fillmore” and BIG NAUGHTY UNDIES again. Brain bleach-stravaganza!

Frazz: Goddammit, Jef Mallett, stop making me cry and laugh at the same time. Don’t be cruel. (My grandmother was exactly as described.)

Also, yesterthread #80 John C. Fremont: Watch your back, buddy. ;)
Dr. Weird
February 9th, 2009 at 1:31 am [Reply]

#97 Steve The Pocket, #126 Commodorejohn –

Wiley is also being counterfactual… there are very good reasons to thin out deer herds, including saving deer populations as a whole.

It was a mistake to read the comments in Atomic Dog’s Gocomics link… cheerleading “yeah, destroy humanity!” stuff.

I will say that the artwork was indeed impressive. He stretched himself a lot with it.

And props for Mother Goose & Grimm’s Batman/Captain Planet joke.
Poteet
February 9th, 2009 at 1:32 am [Reply]

2/9 JP — The excitement on the judge’s face in that last panel is overwhelming — a real tribute to his literary ambition. To dreeeam the imPOSSible dreeeeam…
commodorejohn
February 9th, 2009 at 1:38 am [Reply]

#138 Dr. Weird – Quite. (I’d like to take him driving on a rural Minnesota night, and then we can have a little chat about deer populations.) But honestly, I expect no more factual accuracy from Non Sequitur than I do from Mallard Fillmore. To me, unfunny preachiness is a far greater sin in a comic strip than factual inaccuracy; NS today just compounded one with the other.
Poteet
February 9th, 2009 at 1:42 am [Reply]

# 116 Chatty — HAR!!
Master Softheart
February 9th, 2009 at 1:50 am [Reply]

Secretmargo @129: “[...] or maybe just a burning desire to hear a few more records’ worth of quality white-man quasi-rap from the early 1990s.”

That is why I come here.

Also, I must offer a humble apology for my earlier dismissal of former Judge Parker Artist Harold LeDoux. Having done a brief internet search, I discovered that LeDoux was the second JP artist (after assisting the strip’s first artist Dan Heilman from almost the beginning of the comic in 1952) and that his original drawing for the strip was done in an impressive photorealistic style that produced some truly beautiful work (admittedly not the world of stylized physical perfection that Baretto limns for us every day, but at least as impressive as the early A3G strips).

LeDoux was apparently forced by reduced comic space and changing print quality to abandon the photorealistic style as did the other soap strip artists, but he retained distinct character designs and continued drawing the strip until he retired at the age of 80 in 2006. So I say for posterity that LeDoux’s artistry and skill at the height of his craft are beyond doubt and if I am able to draw even the deformed and bug-eyed figure of 2006 Trudi when I am in my eighth decade, I will count myself blessed.

None of that in any way reduces my happiness that the Parkerverse is now defined by the gorgeous aesthetic of Eduardo Baretto, but LeDoux’s early work qualifies as some of the finest art in a culturally significant postwar medium, and I honor him.
mollificent
February 9th, 2009 at 1:58 am [Reply]

P.S. Sunday’s PBS: Omigod. Has Rat suddenly been hired to write for Mark Trail?
Master Softheart
February 9th, 2009 at 2:00 am [Reply]

Oh, I meant to link to this Dallas Morning News Interview with LeDoux, who charmingly confuses Neddie and Sophie but sounds like a gracious and charming remnant of an era of comic art that has long past.

I would definitely like to see his Angela Lansbury portrait…
bats :[
February 9th, 2009 at 2:17 am [Reply]

Maybe Bucky’s just asleep, or he’s one of those fainting deer…

Oh, hell, now I’m depressed. I need to cheer myself up, with some like a public health crisis:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/3265212303/sizes/o/
Mr. O'Malley
February 9th, 2009 at 2:35 am [Reply]

140. commodorejohn. I find unfunny preachiness more tolerable when combined with impressive artwork.

For a while the Sunday NS had children roaming around in a wild makebelieve world that was very nicely drawn, but he seems to have dropped the concept.

For me the worst part of NS is not the preachiness but the dreadful lobsterman “character”.
Sheila Sternwell
February 9th, 2009 at 2:38 am [Reply]

#58 Dr Weird: Deer are involved in, on average, 130 vehicle-related deaths in North America per year.

http://www.reason.com/news/show/34914.html

Keep in mind that deer are not the animal most responsible for human deaths worldwide. That would probably be humans themselves, but if you exclude humans, it would be the mosquito that is the most dangerous. And I would bet the mosquito is about to become the most dangerous in the U.S., too.

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/1019088/most_dangerous_animals_which_animal.html?cat=53

Seems jellyfish kill as many people per year as deer. Fun.
Metz77
February 9th, 2009 at 2:46 am [Reply]

@146 Mr. O’Malley: Are you referring to the steampunkish storyline that had the one kid who complained about how boring his life was get drawn into this fantastic world with that one girl in the dirigible? Because yes, that was pretty awesome. It was concluded a while back, though. Like, back when I still got the Globe, which was probably over a year ago.
mumbles
February 9th, 2009 at 2:58 am [Reply]

A3G: The only redeeming quality of Monday’s strip is that Tommy is wearing a kerchief, most likely because she’s cleaning the bathroom like Margo’s note ordered her to.

MT: Oh no he di’n't! That poor little deer did nothing but bring joy into that poor woman’s life. But on the bright side: venison!

MW: If the next thing out of Dr. Jeff’s mouth is, “I’ve come up with a new role-playing scenario…” I think I may just throw up.
Malethoth K
February 9th, 2009 at 3:00 am [Reply]

126 – Agreed, the art in today’s strip was pretty impressive. When I was just looking over my page, I saw the top of it and was like “Whoa, that’s pretty intricate. Is this that Average Cyril whathey?” and then I was like “…hnh. At least it’s sort of an interesting point.”
Mibbitmaker
February 9th, 2009 at 3:01 am [Reply]

2/9:

A3G: Tommie likes to imagine Gary dying. Get away from Margo before you totally go to the dark side! (too late?)

Archie: I don’t want to know how that creepy smilie-face shirt works!

DT: Dick may’ve used a ridiculously misplaced question mark in panel one, but it’s still Tess who is dumber than a bag o’ moronic idiots. “I don’t understand”, she says. That one wouldn’t understand the letter “d”!

MT: “You’ve got to get on with other things”… like planning Ken’s murder. Honestly, even Bernie Madoff has too much decency to want to be on the
same planet as that scumbag!

NS: Mark this day on the calender — I AGREE WITH DANAE! …At least until she starts to blame winter on guys, that is.

PBS: Tex Avery’s “Symphony in Slang” would blow Pig’s mind!

Ghost-Who-Wants-To-Start-A-Crocco-Bureaucracy:
“…Croccos are also notorious liars, Phantom.”

RMMD: …In the Norwalk section, where else?

S-M: …or not…
Uncle Lumpy
February 9th, 2009 at 3:16 am [Reply]

Pool Party!
Wangdoodle
February 9th, 2009 at 3:18 am [Reply]

MT “Having shot the one thing left in this world that you love right before your eyes, I have to immediately leave you alone for several days to attend a Manly-Mens’ (TM) puppy-stomping convention! You will be fine! We will be happy now! Bury it! Or don’t! (farts loudly) Goodbye!!”

Pretty sure it’s just a grazed skull (as per Saturday’s strip) and Bucky’ll be up and about as soon as SuperAsshole is over the horizon, but jeez louise, that’s a wonderful combo platter of contrived plotting and even more contrived villainy. Too bad a thin mustache would be considered “effette;” he could twirl it while cackling evily.
Mr. O'Malley
February 9th, 2009 at 3:20 am [Reply]

FC: With any luck, eating those black apples will put those children into a 100-year slumber.

FW: How exactly does one ready a pizza joint for Valentine’s Day? Stock up on red peppers?

As if things weren’t bad enough, the Lockhorns are starting to do political commentary. Coming up: the stimulus looks like Leroy’s paycheck, the agricultural sector is likened to Loretta’s cooking and the state of the Middle East is compared to Loretta’s driving skills!

MT: Tomorrow: Patty domesticates a vulture!

The ghastly selection of cereals on sale in Plugger supermarkets is another depressing feature of their hellish lives. “Pond Flakes” seems like the worst—made from dried algae?
True Fable
February 9th, 2009 at 3:22 am [Reply]

A3G Oh, come off it, Tommie. You’re pissed off because Gary worked rather than hang out with you. Imagine what HE had to go through in order to get more hours.
aniviron
February 9th, 2009 at 3:27 am [Reply]

Dear diary:
Today, I know that I have found a true soulmate. I have longed so long to meet another like myself who simply wishes to be addressed with some respect- when the waiter calls me sir, I know it is only a fleeting fantasy, but if I could somehow run off with this dreamer, perhaps we could find happiness. Hi Flagston, if I could but breathe life into you from the newspaper page.
True Fable
February 9th, 2009 at 3:36 am [Reply]

Scenes from Suburban Hell Hi’s only solution was to have his family drink heavily, thus raising the alcohol content in their blood so they wouldn’t freeze solid.
JP Yeah, Alan Parker and Michael Patterson both get published at Cheatham House. Les Moore just doesn’t know the right vanity press to contact, I guess.
MF Oh fuck you Tinsley.
MT Well, Patty TRIED to get it on with Mark Trail, and you got all mad about it, Ken! Make up your damn mind!
MW And Jeff’s not wondering why Mary’s got frostbite on her hands and knees?
Phantom See, you should have changed out of that hot sweaty Spandex suit before you got upwind of them, Kit.
S-M Oh, crap. We have to go through this tiresome dating thing all over again?! I suppose they’ll get married by August just so there will be a reason to draw a hot chick more often.
Mr. O'Malley
February 9th, 2009 at 6:13 am [Reply]

156. aniviron. We’re all here because we want to breathe life into the newspaper page. The tortured Cold War childhood of Charlie Brown … the risky thrill of Dixie Julep … or, according to preference, the savoir-faire of Cedric the butler … the thrill of living in the Skull Cave … the horror of the chicken-footed mobile house of Baba Keane … the mindless piping flute of the idiot god Azathoth Thorp … the evil Canadian dentist who ends his wretched life handcuffed to a box of remaindered copies of his son’s first novel in Death Valley … Margo-Kali with her necklace of 108 skulls …

Here is where we bid farewell to the mundane concerns of childcare, rent/mortgage payments and shrinking health coverage, and enter the enchanted realm where masked aristocrats fly antique seaplanes, wildlife journalists rescue exotic pets and the economy is based on the sale of reduced-quality pizza, collectable comic books and cancer care.
gleeb
February 9th, 2009 at 7:21 am [Reply]

Yesterday’s Non Sequitur: It’s not about deer. It’s about the fact that there are about 2 or 3 billion more humans than is really healthy for any of us, if we’re going to all want clean water, non-extinct fish, and enough fuel. The deer are a red herring.

Brenda: Maybe she can take care of herself, but remember, Sage is the dumb kid who strolled with open arms into being abducted.

9CL: Even the normally dull Belgian audience were a bit disturbed when he started fucking the cello.

Archie: The AJGLU-3000 waits, and watches, from the front of Archie’s shirt.

Jim Henson’s Tank McNamara Babies: That’s it, hop on the bandwagon, you hack.

Dilbert: Not badgers so much as undifferentiated quadrupeds. But hey, what am I complaining about? At least he’s not advertising his sell-out business again.

H&J: That man has a fork in his pocket. I’d trust his judgment.

Parker, litterateur!: Finally, he can shake the dust of this little strip off his shoes and start collecting detective-story groupies.

Duck: It’s February 9, Tinsley.

Mary: Back in Santa Royale (shouldn’t that at least be “Real”?), Mary enjoys a coffee time with Peter Lorre.

Spidey: She’s glad, of course, because it upset her when her husband abandoned her to go live with his aunt.
John C Fremont
February 9th, 2009 at 7:51 am [Reply]

#154 Mr. O’Malley – I can’t speak for all pizza places, but one of my kids worked at one where they were forced to make heart-shaped pizza’s for Valentine’s Day. At the end of the evening, he and some coworkers would take one of the heart-shaped pizzas home and symbolically stab it to shreds with knives. He’s a theater major, what can I say?

Archie – “So put on a happy face!”

MT – Speaking of thinning the herd…

RMMD – Whatever part of the ship they worked in, I’ll bet there’s a trail of donut crumbs leading from there.

This would be so much better if it were Narwhal Virus, and the crew were growing long, pointy tusks. That would make me happy.
Little Guy
February 9th, 2009 at 8:24 am [Reply]

Spidey: Am I the only one to remember that Spidey left his suit in the couch, where he’ll suddenly get an angst attack in an inappropriate time?

Tank: Um, did you pen this before the world decided the fired coach was a hack and the losing kids were learning disabled?

Curtis: Awwww…. Hellls…… NO!

MT: If the deer stays dead, this is the most whoa plotline in the history of the strip.

yJP: You wasted a Sunday strip with Sam and the Judge going all Michael Patterson. With Abbey upstairs in a strapless. You know, people have died for less than this.

WyH: I wasn’t really following the plot, but a cursory look gives me a bad feeling.

And was yesterday “Jiggy Day” and I missed the memo?
druidbros
February 9th, 2009 at 8:48 am [Reply]

MW – I think its important to ask WHY Frank made a pass at Mary. Does he have debilitating arthritis in his hands?

Blondie – I can only hope that human sacrifice is the next step. Start with your parents kids!
papa zita
February 9th, 2009 at 9:06 am [Reply]

9CL: Egad, when he hits a high note, that seat is going to be very damp. These two are such narcissists that she’ll pant, moan, and scream never noticing there are thousands around her. Watching.

Luann: Oh. Cute joke. Really.
buckyswife
February 9th, 2009 at 9:13 am [Reply]

JP: I’m having a hard time reconciling Judge Parker’s words–which sound like the swoonings of a giddy schoolgirl–with his glum facial expression. Maybe “going to the basement for ice” is a Parker euphemism for “going to the special medicine cabinet to sedate myself.”

More likely:
Perhaps the laws of gravity are unevenly enforced in the Judge Parker universe. While the women defy gravity with breath-taking regularity, the men, in contrast, are disproportionately subject to it. So Sam is unable to fully lift his eyelids, resulting in his flinty expression. And the Judge struggles to raise the corners of his mouth in a smile; instead, he can only stare grimly as he celebrates his good fortune at the hands of a murder victim.

But:
When it comes to a limited repertoire of facial expressions, no one outdoes Jack Elrod. Each of Patty’s expressions of horror, shock, and grief comes down to an Elrodian version of The Scream.
kalki
February 9th, 2009 at 9:17 am [Reply]

The Sunday Blondie: Just wait for the family’s reaction when Elmo and his posse ram the giant snow wang into Dagwood’s face. It is just Elmo’s way of reminding Dagwood who is really boss.

9CL: Oh, dear lord….that confirms that: A)Edda isn’t wearing anything under her dress, and, B)Amos’ cello has at least one crack in it. I suggest he take it to a good luthier to have the crack filled in.

Archie: I wonder how Archie’s shirt looks when it forces him to drink human blood?

Beetle: Just wait until it is time for the nude sketches, Sarge…

DTM: “I swear, mom, that old bat just backed into my lubed fist.”

CircusJerk: Not the famed Arkansas black apples???

When you take into consideration the symbolism of apples as “forbidden fruit” and of sexuality and add it to the lustly gaze that Dolly and Jeffy are exchanging, it takes the cartoon to a whole new level of discomfort.

FW: Well, if he didn’t carry an Uzi with a 1000 rounds of ammo in the bag too….

Hi/Lois: “Dang, looks like everybody will have to sleep with hard nipples tonight.”

GA: You know, I really suspect now that Corky brought in Slim and disappeared somewhere where he has an alibi when the diner burns to the ground for the insurance money.

Luann: “By the way, Dad. I’m pregnant and I think it’s Brad’s.”

“Stop with the jokes, Luann!”

“Uh, yeah…jokes…”

S-M: That is so weird. What Electro says is exactly what Peter was thinking…just before Mary Jane slapped the crap out of him for trying to touch her boob at the movies.
C. Havoc
February 9th, 2009 at 9:30 am [Reply]

A3G Sunday: “Saints and Fools…I’m neither one.”

Apparently, Margo cannot be bothered with mortal concepts such as grammar or sentence structure. “Neither” cannot be followed by “one”, as it is modifying both “Saints”and “Fools”.

She should have said, “I’m neither of those” or simply.”I’m Neither.”

Of course, the first choice sounds contirved, and the second makes her sound like a Spiderman Villain. I would pick neither one. (See?)
Arkades
February 9th, 2009 at 9:40 am [Reply]

I’m interpreting panel two to indicate that Mary has become the latest host for Eclipso, which would be a promising development inasmuch as this would amplify her natural meddling powers to new and frightening extremes. No one in the city is safe from her two-toned wrath!
Komerade X
February 9th, 2009 at 9:46 am [Reply]

9CL: If Edda had tentacles, this could be a Japanese hentai strip.
Tracer Bullet
February 9th, 2009 at 9:54 am [Reply]

9CL: What where you’re stickin’ that bow, bub.

MW: Jeff wants to play “Bad Daddy, Naughty Daughter” again. Mary will do it, but she will not allow him to use the hand-mixer again after what happened last time.
Metz77
February 9th, 2009 at 10:56 am [Reply]

BF: What the hell is that in panel 3? A shout of rage? A yawn? A cry of frustration?
FC: Dolly, I’m pretty sure those apples aren’t that much of a healthy snack.
MF: Normally I don’t read Mallard Fillmore because it’ll just make me angry, but really, when you know you’re comic’s not going to be published for two weeks after you draw it, why even try to be up-to-date with politics?
MW: “…I’ve got a bit of a confession to make.”
S-M: No, I strongly suspect you’ll still be a loser. You might as well get used to it.
Calico
February 9th, 2009 at 11:02 am [Reply]

3G – Finally, Tommie grows a pair! She really must be listening to Margo from time to time.

FC – And yeh, black apples, what the heck? Are they dipped in licorice goo? Or motor oil? Tar? Pulp Liquor? What?!
Winky's Spleen
February 9th, 2009 at 11:07 am [Reply]

What’s funny – as funny as Mallard Fillmore ever gets, at least – about Tinsley’s criticizing Lowery’s invocation for its poetry is, have you ever seen the right-wing duck’s stabs at poetry? Not pretty at all.
Matmaduke
February 9th, 2009 at 11:14 am [Reply]

Could Mark Trail be following the infamous “Bambalance” 911 call? Perhaps Patty will bring the dead deer back in the house only to have it rear up and destroy all her possessions, Mark can come in and say, “See Patty, this is EXACTLY why we don’t keep wild animals as pets!” and then there can be a nutty 80’s style clean up montage, which would probably last several weeks, but maybe then we can see Mark in a dew rag, (sexy growl).
Edgy DC
February 9th, 2009 at 11:14 am [Reply]

“Tommie’s the saint. Luann’s the fool. I’m the bloodsucking alpha-bitch that exploits the both of them.”
TheCasey
February 9th, 2009 at 11:14 am [Reply]

FC – Thank goodness my fruit basket finally got there!
9CL – Is it wrong that I’m hearing an orchestral version of Akon’s “Smack That” in my head?
Archie – At least his shirt thinks it’s a funny joke. Now we know that clothing has no sense of humor.
RMMD – Now all Rex has to do is find the wrestling mats and throw them overboard, right?
Sally Forth – Is Ted about to find out how low he’ll go to keep his job?
150
February 9th, 2009 at 11:17 am [Reply]

I went to the comic-book store this weekend, and you know that newsprint-circular they include with your purchase? C-W or something? Ol’ Stripey was on the cover this week.
Carlo
February 9th, 2009 at 11:22 am [Reply]

Regarding skating at the Olympic training facility, public skates actually do occur on the same rinks where Olympians train.
Anonymous
February 9th, 2009 at 11:24 am [Reply]

Whoa! Are Amos and Edda doing what I think their doing, sans “Luann”-esque subtlety? Oh boy! and hey, do these two catholic-school reared children use protection? I mean for his cello. He could really wreck that thing.
Metz77
February 9th, 2009 at 11:25 am [Reply]

@175 TheCasey: Now I really want to hear that orchestral version of Smack That. Damn.
Anonymous
February 9th, 2009 at 11:27 am [Reply]

2/9:
A3G: Why is Tommie wearing a head-kerchief like old school Aunt Jemima? Next, she makes Gary some pancakes . . .

9CL: If Amos is playing a cello solo, why are two of the pieces on the program full orchestra works (a symphony and an opera overture)? If you’re going to be a pretentious ass, McEldowney, you’ve got to at least get the details right. This is like Gil Thorp getting his sports terminology mixed up . . .
Uncle Lumpy
February 9th, 2009 at 11:33 am [Reply]

#176 150 –

The Phantom is huge in Finland and Scandanavia — the Swedish publisher Egmont apparently saved the series. Here’s the Norwegian site in translation.
Matmaduke
February 9th, 2009 at 11:34 am [Reply]

PS- Rex Morgan, the Norwalk Virus (also known as viral gastroenteritus) is commonly spread through fecal content, which means somebody probably wasn’t washing their hands while cooking, but this would not limit the disease to the kitchen, which I imagine is where most of the crew who are sick worked, as it would spread most commonly to the people who ate the infected food. Maybe the crew infected actually worked on the “poop” deck and Rex Morgan, M.D. can giggle like a school girl over his coprophagia fetish.
Annon
February 9th, 2009 at 11:35 am [Reply]

A3G And welcome back to the 1940’s. Where Alice Kramden is filling as “Tommie” today. Seriously, a kerchief? What is it with this strip and scarf-related apparel (see also: neckerchiefs)?
Brick Bradford
February 9th, 2009 at 11:35 am [Reply]

#71 Poteet–I actually think that Mary’s hair is so saturated with Aquanet that it has become as invulnerable as Captain America’s Adamantium shield.

Mary, as I’ve pointed out, is a Bizarro Watcher (yes, he read WAAAAYYY to many comic books), thus she has all the powers of Watchers.
Margo’s dark powers have yet to be explained or fully explored, but the one downside of the Death Match between her and Mary might be the utter Destruction of All Things. But, if Mary and Margo go, it might be worth it.
Artist formerly known as Ben
February 9th, 2009 at 11:39 am [Reply]

2/9

Phantom: “Belly flop! Wheeeeeeeeee!!! Aright, let’s do it again!”

JP: Hizzoner has a glum non-expression talking about his “dream come true.” I guess scoring money off a dead publisher wasn’t all he hoped it would be,

A3G: Ouch. Dissed by the white Aunt Jemima.

MW: Mary leaves out the part where Frank put the moves on her. Just as well. Knowing how close he came to freedom would only torment Dr. Jeff.

S-M: “Yes! Here I am, backstage at the Power Station concert. My idol Robert Palmer may have some sage advice for me.”
(Well, they did wind time back.)

WofI: No rectal humor, please. This did not make me squeal like a pig.

Shoe: Pardon me, I just flashed back to Clambake saying, “You’re pulling your head, son.” Biz is just trying to keep Skyler from making the same mistake.

BB: You wouldn’t think Beetle sketching Sarge would be such a big deal after all the nude photos they’ve taken of each other.

GA: Corky’s words to Slim were, I believe, “I don’t need you to wash dishes, I need you to cook.” If he’s got Slim doing both things without any heads up, he deserves what he gets. Or maybe he’s trying to burn the placee down for insurance.

9CL: Now it’s a magic show? Amos is onstage, sawing a lady in half. And yes, he’s had plenty of practice “sawing” Edda in the past couple of weeks.

S4th: Maybe instead of firing him, Ted’s boss is trying to make his head asplode.

M-Dawg: “We’ve had to buy a ton of lubricant, but so far no alarm clock.”

FC: Those apples are coal black on the outside. Put ‘em down, kids, and look for discarded syringes in the trash.

SFx: Do you see any gold necklace? I sure don’t. Which means that Harry Ape probably has it in a place where Leena won’t want it back from.
buckyswife
February 9th, 2009 at 11:40 am [Reply]

180 & 183: I wondered if perhaps Tommie was taking a break to act out an old Monty Python sketch–but like most else in Tommie’s life, she just couldn’t get it quite right…
Ed Power, My Cage guy
February 9th, 2009 at 11:40 am [Reply]

Hey kids,

Me again.

Hate to do this, but I’d REALLY hate to lose this paper due to the large amount of feedback we get from it’s readers.

San Antonio Express News in Texas is dropping My Cage next week to return Mallard Fillmore from the op-ed page to the comics page.

If you are from that area and would like to offer an opinion, the contact info is as such:

E-mail: brichter@express-news.net
Or
Call: (210) 250-3264

Thanks. I would just really hate to lose this particular newspaper.

BTW: I’ll be back posting regualrly here in about a week (once my new schedule kicks in).

LATER!
-Ed
Poteet
February 9th, 2009 at 11:40 am [Reply]

MT — I agree with all the Bucky-is-merely-stunned speculation, one reason being that I don’t see any blood. I wonder when Creepo Ken will be similarly stunned, via fist. I’m putting my money on the week of March 8th.
Annon
February 9th, 2009 at 11:42 am [Reply]

SF Actually, Ted’s boss called him in for a Gay Hand Gesture-off.
Larry McAwful
February 9th, 2009 at 11:45 am [Reply]

While there’s nothing about Frank that screams to me “What a catch!” I have to say he looks to be a few decades younger than Mary. Granted, I can appreciate a good fetish, and if he’s into women his own mother would call “Ma’am” then that’s his business. But this relationship, should it take root, wouldn’t be one of those May-to-December deals, but rather a May-to-next-May affair.

Again, I’ve seen Harold and Maude so I know it can happen, but even in that movie they bothered to point out that it’s somewhat unusual. Their courtship would be fun to watch. Frank could talk about how he once saw Buddy Holly perform, and Mary could explain how it was the pernicious influence of swing music that sank the Titanic. Actually, I’m all for this plot development.
Poteet
February 9th, 2009 at 11:48 am [Reply]

# 184 Brick — If the Destruction of All Things would mean the end of Adda, Emos, and the Ghastly Musical Metaphors, that would be another bonus.
buckyswife
February 9th, 2009 at 11:55 am [Reply]

188 Poteet–And didn’t the bullet’s trajectory line run through Bucky’s antlers and past him in Saturday’s strip? (Oh my god: I’m close-reading Mark Trail.)
buckyswife
February 9th, 2009 at 11:57 am [Reply]

190 Larry: In Sunday’s strip, Frank looked to be about 32. All I could think of was last Thursday’s episode of The Office, with the Cloris Leachman/Jack Black love affair played for horrified laughs. (And before this all looks to be too sexist, I want to stipulate that I’m just as icked out by old men/young women.)
Poteet
February 9th, 2009 at 12:03 pm [Reply]

# 192 buckyswife — I couldn’t tell what that bullet was doing, and I squinted at it. First I thought it clipped the base of the antlers, and then I thought it only whizzed very close to them. But if the latter, why would Bucky faw-down-pway-dead? Now I think the laws of physics may have been violated. That wouldn’t be a first for MT.
Artist formerly known as Ben
February 9th, 2009 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

#160 John C Fremont,
You may be right about “Rex Morgan”, that the little stowaway cherub is also Typhoid Mary. I wouldn’t count on that kind of cohesiveness, but it would explain why the Morgans haven’t been able to catch up to him, and thus get exposed to the virus.
Artist formerly known as Ben
February 9th, 2009 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

#187 Ed Power,
Tossed aside for Bruce Tinsley? Not while I have anything to say about it. They’ll hear from me.
Muffaroo
February 9th, 2009 at 12:10 pm [Reply]

9CL – Uh huh. This burst of obviousness is it, right? It’ll be over soon? God, will it never end? Come on, McE, get help. Didn’t you hear the part of the ad where they said a boner over four hours means you should talk to a doctor?

Archie – There, now this is character-based humor. The only flaw in the ointment is the built-in laff track on Archie’s shirt, but on balance, a thumb up.

DTracy – Don’t go over there, Dick! Apparently, the plot only actually advances at Noll’s place, and then only if you’re not present. Stay home, and maybe we can have a new plot by mid-spring.

FCircus – “I guess now we can never go back.”

GAlley – This is the cleverest arson-murder plot yet! Virtually undetectable — just put Slim in the kitchen, and he’ll not only bring the place down in flames, but he’ll be too dumb to get out. I can’t wait for the meteorite to land on the place.

“Some say this plot will end in fire
Some say in suds
From what I’ve felt (toward Slim) of ire
I’ll vote with those who favor fire.
But if it killed the King of duds,
I’d gladly go with what might work
And willingly embrace the floods
To drown the jerk
And all his buds.”

HtHorrible – Ha ha. He’s a viking and he has to eat his vegetables! That’s so… what’s the word I’m looking for here? …inappropriate!

H&Jamaal – The problem with the menu is that all the entries are things like “Food.” “Hot food.” “Hot food on a plate.” “Hot food on a plate with a garnish.” “Hot food on a plate with the garnish everyone’s talking about.”

H&Lois – I’d like to know why the thing from Electro’s navel is on the Flagstaffs’ wall. Is he helping them with their electric bills in exchange for them watching his kid?

MFmore – Clearly, nobody in the outrage industry is aware (or admitting to awareness) of Big Bill Broonzy’s 1951 “Black, Brown and White.”

Me and a man was workin’ side by side
This is what it meant
They was paying him a dollar an hour,
and they was paying me fifty cent
They said, “If you was white, ‘t should be all right,
if you was brown, could stick around,
but as you black, hmm boy, get back, get back, get back”

I went to an employment office,
got a number ‘n’ I got in line
They called everybody’s number,
but they never did call mine
They said, “If you was white, should be all right,
if you was brown, could stick around,
but as you black, hmm brother, get back, get back, get back”

But, after all, why should I be surprised that the duck and his pals would be completely unaware of a cultural reference — and a negro one, at that? Video here.
Muffaroo
February 9th, 2009 at 12:12 pm [Reply]

MTrail – He’s going out for a few days, Patty. That’ll give you time to butcher the deer with tears streaming down your cheeks and start preparing that meal of poisoned venison. Eh… eh… eh…

Mduke – Why are Dottie’s hands tied, anyway?

Marfield – Hey, there’s a comic strip convention I haven’t seen in, gosh, DAYS.

MWorth – Ah, back to Charterstone. But what’s this? Jeff isn’t wearing his maid uniform! Or his dog collar! Is this an imaginary story? Are they going to reveal what’s really going on on April Fool’s Day?

RwOrange – Now, this is transgressive.

6Chix – “Why did you shout ‘fire!’?” “Well, nobody would’ve come if I’d yelled ‘chocolate!’” –Smothers Brothers, early 1960s

SFox – And then there’s the gold necklace he’s wearing (which is also not discernible in this picture).
Muffaroo
February 9th, 2009 at 12:14 pm [Reply]

Poteet @84 – Up in the mountains in Colorado, in the general region of Leadville, there’s Fairplay, which the locals often call Foreplay. I’ve put in time at the bus station there, which is at the end of the counter in the diner. Up the road is Climax. You can probably guess what they say: “Foreplay leads to Climax.” (Repeat until humorous.)

troy macgregor @105 – Back in the fun-filled 80s, I drew a gag postcard-style pic of two old deadheads shrugging their shoulders as a pair of buzz-cut punks walk by, pierced and leathered (one of each gender, based on friends of mine). The caption, of course, was “THESE DAYS, you can’t tell the BOYS from the GIRLS!!” (It’s tragic because you don’t know whose ass to ogle.)

Deer – I used to work at the Rocky Mountain Forest & Range Experiment station as something just above an intern. One of my jobs was weeding the slide collection. I took out a lot of old word slides, duplicate pictures, out-of-date pictures, as well as ones that were out of focus, ineptly composed, or just plain unpleasant. I of course kept the ones I removed, and eventually edited just over 100 of them into a narrated slide show of how the Forest Service saved mankind from a menace beyond our planet. Deer played a large part in this drama, which I have given at various SF conventions over the years, always drawing enthusiastically polite applause.

Ed Power @187 – I wish I could help. My dad’s down there now, but I don’t think he’d be much help. Although he probably regards Mallard Fillmore as “pinko.”

me @197 – I forgot to put “scare quotes” around the word “negro” in my Mallard “comment.” “My” bad.
Maureen Fan
February 9th, 2009 at 12:17 pm [Reply]

#187. Ed Power! I’m certainly willing to pressure the San Antonio fools a bit. “Mallard Fillmore! The hell with that! ” more or less sums up my feelings and I will be happy to communicate them as such. However: little quid pro quo, maybe? This Sunday’s strip, you know… Wonder Vixen? Two words. Skin-tight. Spandex. TIA.
Joe the Plugger
February 9th, 2009 at 12:29 pm [Reply]

9CL: Amos’ cello playing is so good that it knocked her sleeves clear off her shirt/dress.
mollificent
February 9th, 2009 at 12:40 pm [Reply]

#187 Ed Power: TRAVESTY!!! I wish I could be of help.
Niall
February 9th, 2009 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

84. Poteet: as long as True Fable doesn’t start calling you “Poteet, my Climax Queen”, you should be okay. And while I didn’t get to Climax in Michigan, I got close enough to see the Sign when visiting friends in Ka’zoo. Nice city, there.

152. Uncle Lumpy: Oh yes. And Mr Weber, Jr? Please consider another Leena Lynx cameo. (And now I really know what I’d request as a sketch…)

154. Mr O’Malley: I once went to Boston Pizza on Valentine’s. (My then-girlfriend and her friends had weird ideas.) The pizzas were heart-shaped. In Funky’s world, it would mean taking every round tin and hammering one end in to make it vaguely heart-shaped. And after, re-hammering them sorta-round.

167. Arkades: every Sunday, someone is being taken by Eclipso in Mary Worth. It’s disquieting.

187. Ed Power: Gah! Replacing Platypus by Duck is really reeky! The SAEN editor is a rat! I hope your strip can be saved!

198. Muffaroo: just checked Six Chix. Wow, more amusing to me is that a cartoonist I know once had her chocolate-hating character “sing” that song replacing the word “vat” with “bog”. And this is a bog of chocolate. And yet… it shoudl be 60% cocoa solids, not butter. Pure cocoa butter is true white chocolate. 40% cocoa solids is a particularly nice and strong milk chocolate, or very very weak not-really-dark.

200. Maureen Fan: Try Sunday in two months at the very least for any wish-granting. Lead times! Or else, a quick pic in the MySpace blog. :) And what does “TIA” mean? I know of “T&A”, and that’s not what I’d expect from Ms DeJesus.

Meanwhile, I think I got whiplash from May Worth today; back in SRoyale and sitting at dinner without so much as a by-your-leave??
Maureen Fan
February 9th, 2009 at 12:47 pm [Reply]

No immediate gratification required… “thanks in advance”
queek
February 9th, 2009 at 1:11 pm [Reply]

Wonder Vixen vs Superlative Girl? Now there’s a x-over issue. . . .

I *heart* the ears on Leena Lynx. Mr. Webber Jr, may we have some more?

PBS: o goddess, what a bad pun!

MG&G: booooo!

RwO: huh? wtf? do not get!

NS: word, Danae. Up until the last two days worth of grand meltdown, I was getting pretty sick of it too.
Meanwhile
February 9th, 2009 at 1:18 pm [Reply]

Ugh. I can’t believe I fell for Mary Worth and her stupid, mean bait-and-switch. Not only did she not fall on the ice, but she tricked me into watching stupid Frank make a stupid pass at her. And then Josh comes along and somehow manages to make it even grosser.

Is there an emoticon for “I just threw up in my mouth, and also my will to live is gone”? I’m guessing it involves the option key.
cheech wizard
February 9th, 2009 at 1:19 pm [Reply]

9CL – I know this is all romantic symbolism and stuff, so shouldn’t the bow be about 3 inches long?

M – The hellbeast finally turns on its masters, who neglected to let it out to feed overnight.

FC – “Eat this, Jeffy, and your eyes will be opened and ye will know both good and evil. Now, let’s play doctor.”

MT – That panicky look on Patty’s face tells me Ken better not find out how much time she’s been spending with her book club.
Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
February 9th, 2009 at 1:19 pm [Reply]

reFoob, last few days… what’s the deal with all the computers? Connie is typing in a personal ad, and John has one on his sink? Isn’t reFoob set in the 1980s or so, making these computers at best IBM PC-XTs dialing into the Canadian equivalent of CompuServe?
Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
February 9th, 2009 at 1:21 pm [Reply]

120, re Peanuts — don’t forget “Brick”.
Harold
February 9th, 2009 at 1:33 pm [Reply]

Archie: The AJGLU 3000, last seen manifesting as a rough digitized face, has now incorprated itself into clothing.

Mary Worth: I’m betting the next line is, “…I found all sorts of interesting sites online while you were away!”

MG & G: It took me quite a while to figure this out.

RMMD: Count Morgu’s seafaring cousin makes an appearance!

Snuffy Smith made me laugh today. Am I going to die now?
sugarpie
February 9th, 2009 at 1:44 pm [Reply]

#187 Ed Power I’m down in Texas and have sent an email to the SAEN. I’ll wait a day or so and try calling. Good Luck! Mallard Fillmore? I just don’t…oh nevermind.
Niall
February 9th, 2009 at 1:45 pm [Reply]

205. queek: actually, while growing up and learning English as second language, I had no idea what “lam” was, and “on the lam” pretty much elicited that very image.

As for RhymesWithOrange: it’s one of those “expressions made literal”, as the devils are eating sliced angel, hence a “slive of heaven”, an expression used on really good food. Or trying to pass bad food as good food on cooking shows and ad copy.

208. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol: there was no Canadian equivalent of CompuServe; AOL Canada was the first time we had something that big up here. It was either a local BBS and FidoNet, or dial long-distance to US services, if they let you register from out of country.
trey le parc
February 9th, 2009 at 1:48 pm [Reply]

JP: What’s the deal with the skinny ties? Are Sam and the judge moonlighting in a Modern English tribute band?
True Fable
February 9th, 2009 at 1:52 pm [Reply]

# 203 Niall – No true knight would ever dream of putting the word “climax” next to the name of his queen! One does not utilize the suggestive lest he taints the admirable.

#187 Ed Power! – Shall I unleash a Rant toward the San Antonio Express News? I am not from there but if volume gives weight to outrage maybe they won’t notice.

bwahahaha….!
Ron
February 9th, 2009 at 1:54 pm [Reply]

MW: At first I thought I was just ignorant of what the word “photopopovs” meant, so I looked it up in Google. It’s ignorant also. Does anyone know what it is?
Harold
February 9th, 2009 at 2:02 pm [Reply]

Ron, it’s “Protopoptovs.” Which is either a preliminary form of the Poptovs, or these folks:

http://www.pairsonice.net/profileview.php?pid=99
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oleg_Protopopov
cheech wizard
February 9th, 2009 at 2:02 pm [Reply]

205/queek, 212/Niall – Actually, I think the reference is to “Heavenly Ham,” a popular franchise in the eastern half of the U.S.
Perky Bird
February 9th, 2009 at 2:06 pm [Reply]

Mark Trail: Ken has made the same mistake as numerous James Bond villains–assuming his nemesis is dead with just one shot. Ken shouldn’t rest easy until Bucky is the main ingredient in a hearty bowl of stew and his tanned hide is draping Ken’s shoulders in the form of a stylish fringed leather coat. Because we all know that Bucky is only playing dead. And after dark…the buck will become the hunter.
papa zita
February 9th, 2009 at 2:07 pm [Reply]

@207: The romantic symbolism is rather fatuous, as is how Amos won in the first place. All the listeners surrendered to their romantic fantasies while Amos’ bow did the moaning and shrieking for them. I didn’t find it particularly funny since it’s like a pretentious remake of an old Married With Children episode, where Kelly does a sexy dance with the janitor and gets all the parents in the audience so hot they jump their neighbors. The idea that he can make Elgar into a shtupfest is going too far, but I’m guessing Edda would have the same fantasy if he was playing Three Blind Mice.

BTW, if it’s a fantasy. why are they wearing clothes? I seriously doubt stone freak Edda’s fantasies are that chaste.
AMC
February 9th, 2009 at 2:08 pm [Reply]

Washington Post blog story on how comic polls are a sham:

http://voices.washingtonpost.com/comic-riffs/2009/02/are_too_many_newspaper_comic_p.html

Are Too Many Newspaper Comic Polls a Sham?

It’s the ugly little secret that, within the newspaper comics industry and among avid comics followers, is nobody’s secret at all:

Namely, that the frequently used Newspaper Comics Reader Poll might be long-standing, but it is hardly upstanding. It has walked on the wrong side of the statistical tracks far too often, stirring so much scorn, skepticism and controversy that it might as well wear a scarlet “A” — for “adulterated accuracy.”
papa zita
February 9th, 2009 at 2:10 pm [Reply]

Photopoptovs are Russian flashbulbs. You don’t hear the word now because they aren’t made anymore.

Okay, so you don’t believe it.
papa zita
February 9th, 2009 at 2:20 pm [Reply]

As a longtime computer programmer, it appalls me that anything is decided by online polls. It could work, but would be more effort than anyone is likely to be interested in doing. I’ve never seen an online poll that couldn’t be manipulated. It all depends on how much work you’re willing to put into the manipulation. People with a vested interest are willing to do quite a lot, it should go without saying.
commodorejohn
February 9th, 2009 at 2:24 pm [Reply]

9CL – You know, by rights I should be amused by a classical music buff geeking out on the comics page, but by this point I’m so exasperated with this storyline, Brooke McEldowney, and 9 Chickweed Lane as a whole that all I can say is GET OVER YOURSELF AND GET ON WITH IT YOU HACK!

A3G – Gah, why did my brain insist on interpreting “jump in the river” in an obscene fashion?

Curtis – Is…is Curtis sucking on a can of shaving cream!? No, seriously, tell me what that thing is supposed to be.

FC – “Especially these hideous black apples of the knowledge of good and evil. I like them the best.”

GA – Well, it doesn’t help that they called in the least qualified person in the entire damn cast to run things for them, Slim.

GT – Ha ha, Gil’s smug dickery never fails to amuse.

JP – “Thank you, Dewey, you magnificent Hemingway wannabe!”

Luann – Hey, if I were suddenly confronted by a giant floating WHAT, I’d freak out, too.

MF – Hi, Tinsley, welcome to one month ago.

MT – That last panel is just begging for a Lichtensteining.

MW – Oh good, we’re finally getting on with the next storyline, but it looks like it’s going to be about Wilbur and Dawn Weston. Which means I have to live with being relieved to be reading a storyline about a man with the world’s worst combover who plays against sex as an advice columnist and his helmet-haired daughter who’s young enough to be his granddaughter. Mary Worth, what have you done to me?

MC – Actually, to take the other meaning of “two-dimensional,” that’s some nice foreshortening/shape indication on Maureen in the third panel. Kudos, Melissa!

PBS – “Today, on a very special Family Circus…”

Phantom – The croccos’ little-known weakness: awful dialogue.

Pibgorn – Yes, Brooke, we know that you can use Photoshop to do a lot of nifty visuals with less effort than would be required to do them by hand. Now how’s about the plot?

SFx – Yeah, cat-girl alert!

SM – Um, Electro, as a former electric-company employee yourself, shouldn’t you know to take billing issues to the company offices, not the generating plant?

Edison Lee – Go ahead, Hambrock. Rape the memory of Oliver Wendell Jones some more, whydontcha. But be sure to suck all the charm and humor out first.

Ziggy – It’s official: Tom Wilson is insane.
indrifan
February 9th, 2009 at 2:35 pm [Reply]

203 Niall,
Check out the 3rd and 5th illustrations under “Illustrations” (borderline NSFW)
at http://www.estrigious.com/mel/ . Though I’d be pretty surprised to see that sort of thing in My Cage.
Uncle Lumpy
February 9th, 2009 at 2:37 pm [Reply]

#223 cj –

. . . looks like it’s going to be about Wilbur and Dawn Weston

Or worse . . . much, much worse. Scry me a river, Nostradamus.
SecretMargo
February 9th, 2009 at 2:53 pm [Reply]

212: re: RwO – I agree with your interpretation, but I find the whole thing frustrating because it’s almost a joke on “devil’s food” or “deviled ham,” and yet…it refuses to actually be one. Annoying!
Uncle Lumpy
February 9th, 2009 at 2:54 pm [Reply]

Apartment 3-G:

“Patience and acceptance?
“BAH — constraints for saints and fools!
“Let them toil as my attendants –
“When I scream, ‘More zippers, mules!’”
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
February 9th, 2009 at 3:00 pm [Reply]

In Pennsylvania, you’ll find Paradise, Mountville and Fertility within a short trip of Intercourse.
AtomicDog
February 9th, 2009 at 3:06 pm [Reply]

SFx – Yeah, it’s not like you’re gonna lick a gorilla’s fur, or anything.
commodorejohn
February 9th, 2009 at 3:14 pm [Reply]

#225 Uncle Lumpy – my God, you’re right. This is going to hurt.
papa zita
February 9th, 2009 at 3:21 pm [Reply]

@223: commodorejohn, re:Pibgorn. Be careful what you ask for. Personally, after following 9CL day after endless day these many months, I don’t want McEldowney within a mile of a plot ever again. Then again, seeing his one-shots I’m not sure I want to see him within a mile of a drawing tool, either.
Esther Blodgett
February 9th, 2009 at 3:22 pm [Reply]

Since when does Rex Morgan have blue eyes? The only acceptable eye colors for comics characters are newsprint, ink smudge, and flesh.
T. Chicana
February 9th, 2009 at 3:25 pm [Reply]

#223 commodorejohn: Re: Wilbur and Helmet Hair daughter. Doesn’t Dr. Jeff have a daughter, too? She’s like a twin sister of Hanoi Doctor Son Two Timer (sorry, that nickname obv. isn’t going to stick!)
I was thinking that Jeff is about to tell Mary that he’s having some sort of nonsensical “problem” with his daughter that she can meddle with.
A welcome-home gift, if you will.
Malethoth K.
February 9th, 2009 at 3:27 pm [Reply]

Gil Thorp – I honestly thought that what’s-his-head, Dylan or something, was talking about coming out of the closet, and that he was hoping some dude would dump his girlfriend and date him. It took me like three reads to figure out that he was referring to basketball.

Herb and Jamaal – Having run out of hilariously nonspecific things to say, Bentley is experimenting with social commentary mixed with nonsense. Sadly, we already have Non Sequitur and Mallard Fillmore, and so the new, political H&J will probably pass into the unremembered depths of our subconscious without fanfare.

Marvin – It’s like a crappy slice of life combined with a crappy, completely nonsensical visual gag.

Spider-Man – In this comic, there’s a movie based on Nightwolf? Like, the Mortal Kombat character? The Spideyverse just became a whole lot more awesome.
commodorejohn
February 9th, 2009 at 3:39 pm [Reply]

#231 papa zita – God Almighty, the man does one-shots!? McEldowney-caliber plot-stretching in a medium devoted to narrative compression? How does that not collapse into a singularity of awful?

#233 T. Chicana – Yeah, Dr. Jeff has a daughter, but I can’t recall ever seeing her in a storyline. Then again, I’ve only been reading Mary Worth for…well, it felt like infinity, but I think about two years.
commodorejohn
February 9th, 2009 at 3:40 pm [Reply]

#235 me – Er, I’m sure it does collapse into a singularity of awful, but I was more wondering how it doesn’t suck in the whole rest of fiction along with it.
Niall
February 9th, 2009 at 4:38 pm [Reply]

217. church wizard: Uhhh.. why make a nationally-syndicated joke about a product only known semi-locally? I mean, that’s my kind of humour, one that only a handful of people can understand – and usually none of them are able to see/hear the joke.

223 commodorejohn: Curtis is trying to eat a candy bar. But that thing there is supposedly known and feared by Curtis and one Mudgeon alike. I think I’ll soon learn to fear it too.

224. indrifan: I have to wait two more hours to go home.. it’s blocked by the government servers. (A lot of the net is.)

226. SecretMargo: You know, the joke is so bdly handled that I didn’t even think of “devilled ham” until you mentioned it. As you said, so close! It could even have been multilayered humour!

228. Spider-brick: are they all in Amish Country? (I forget the actoual County name, despite having been there. It wouldn’t surprise me too much.)
Carly
February 9th, 2009 at 5:27 pm [Reply]

I have to admit I’m kind of charmed by the Snow Dag, there. I laughed at the brooms representing his hair.

Still, lampshading it doesn’t make Dagwood’s hair any less ridiculous.
Ron
February 10th, 2009 at 3:21 am [Reply]

Harold, thanks now it make sense. Nearly thirty years skating in competitive skating is amazing.
150
February 10th, 2009 at 2:22 pm [Reply]

@ Uncle Lumpy #181 – Why do the Swedes hate us? :(
jkaymartin
February 12th, 2009 at 1:42 am [Reply]

omg – I hadn’t realized that I missed reading the comics until now!

Judge Parker sounds like he’s been doing business with “Dewey, Cheatham, and Howe”.

jkm

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