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Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 3/19/14

Mary Beth announces her plans t’ butcher and wed Jughaid based on wildly inaccurate folk anatomy. Upside: plenty of sausage t’ serve at th’ reception!

Crankshaft, 3/19/14

Hey, remember that one summer we rented a lake cottage but it rained all week so we scoured the bookstores and sat at the kitchen table passing around Kurt Vonnegut paperbacks and eating popcorn? And I had to explain to my sister how Ice-9 worked, and felt vaguely uncomfortable watching my Mom read Welcome to the Monkey House?

You DON’T? You mean it wasn’t part of your experience, and hearing some jackass narrate his private recollections isn’t compelling entertainment? Wow, somebody explain that to Jeff here, wouldja?

Mary Worth, 3/19/14

Or maybe these three things are actually just one thing? Hey, I know! Tell him if he had a job he could buy one of those adorable flat cars with the greywall tires!

Funky Winkerbean, 3/19/14

In Westview, smoking is an aspirational vice — the stylish path to a miserable death. The losers who can’t afford $5.67 a pack have to chug contaminated groundwater or huff radon.

Curtis, 3/19/14

Sorry, Greg — once those quotes go up on your “cool,” they never come down.

Edge City, 3/19/14

Hey, Len — that’s pretty “cool”!


Words to live by: “Life is just too damn short to go around carrying store-brand tote bags.”

— Uncle Lumpy