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April cruel’s day

B.C., 4/1/14

B.C. was groundbreaking in a number of ways when it debuted in the late 1950s, but if you were born in the ’70s or ’80s, probably your chief memory of it is how it came to reflect creator Johnny Hart’s sincere and also somewhat aggressive Christianity. Hart died in 2007, with a new creative team led by Hart’s grandson taking over, and after a rough start B.C. has settled back into the groove as a perfectly serviceable legacy syndicated comic strip that will continue to extract declining revenue from the print newspaper industry until that industry inevitably collapses in the next 10 to 15 years.

Anyway, while I have no clue as to the religious convictions of the current strip creative team, the universe of B.C.’s cavemen has been free of Christianity or indeed any other identifiable religion from our own world over the past seven years. But today’s strip reveals that the characters are still subject to the whims of a capricious and cruel deity — specifically, of MASON, whose signature stands in for the ineffable godhead like the flaming Aleph of Jewish mysticism. “APRIL FOOL’S” the god-name announces, as one of its puny creations, expecting only a pleasant swim, plummets to an agonizing death, his final moments spent in confusion and terror.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 4/1/14

Meanwhile, poor Uriah the mailman, the only representative of the hated Federal government who dares to set foot in Hootin’ Holler, is about to be subject to a much more human prank. What lurks in that mailbox? An angry baby rattlesnake? A rabid raccoon? A low-grade explosive device? Whatever it is, it’s bound to be hilarious, for people who aren’t Uriah!

206 responses to “April cruel’s day”

  1. Obadiah Odo
    April 1st, 2014 at 7:26 am [Reply]

    Edge City: If he invites George Zimmerman over for Seder, I’m outta here.

    Blondie: You can give it back now, Dag. Even the dimmest bulb knows the “cigar” you’re holding is actually Dithers’ rectal thermometer.

  2. nescio
    April 1st, 2014 at 7:27 am [Reply]

    Hi&Lois: I laughed at this.

  3. pugfuggly
    April 1st, 2014 at 7:30 am [Reply]

    B.C. April Fool’s! I bet you were expecting a joke here.

    BG&SS I wonder if Uriah was born on April Fool’s? It’s the only way I could imagine getting stuck with a name like that.

  4. Dennis Jimenez
    April 1st, 2014 at 7:32 am [Reply]

    BC – Um – It’s supposed to be funny, but it isn’t – so he pulled a fast one on us for April Fools Day! Great gag, Johnny Hart, but you might add another one to your repertoire….

    BG&SS – The mailbox is a heap – HA HA HA – get it? Uriah Heap! That’s what I call really bringing it home Johnny Hart style….

    Adios Amigos, DJ.

  5. themanwhocameback
    April 1st, 2014 at 7:32 am [Reply]

    MT goes meta: Marlin’s very thought balloons are formed from endangered sea turtle eggs

  6. Little Blue Bicycle
    April 1st, 2014 at 7:33 am [Reply]

    HOOTIN’ HOLLER GAZETTE, 4/1/14
    Local Militia Strikes Again
    “Fedrel Gummentment is Tyranny”
    “Obammercare Ain’t Safe Yet!”

  7. The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan
    April 1st, 2014 at 7:33 am [Reply]

    The Amazing Spider-Man: Oh hey look, Lily from Apt. 3-G is making a guest appearance in today’s strip! I knew that fawn would be good for something other than venison cutlets…

  8. Liam
    April 1st, 2014 at 7:35 am [Reply]

    A3G-If you can call what Tommie is driving a car.

    Crankshaft-Ah the South American squirrel. Descended from European squirrels that fled to South America after the Great Squirrel Kill Off of the Forties.

    FC-”Because these comics aren’t funny anymore. They are called the funnies but they aren’t funny.”

    Love Is-If they were turned the other way it would be a full moon.

    MT-”Wait! We have to swap insurance information!”

    MW-”I also wish you cleaned it up before you gave it to Tommie. After looking at what you left on it I don’t want to look at another sandwich again.”

    RMMD-”An expert in Switzerland? Why don’t they just come to me? I’m an expert in everything.”

    Sally Forth-Let’s watch this idiot try and use a fork without killing himself.

    Slylock Fox-In panel two they are going to run the ducks down.

  9. pugfuggly
    April 1st, 2014 at 7:36 am [Reply]

    A3G I initially though that JACK RILEY (TM) was just warning Tommie that his horse was a bit nervous or something, but after looking at its threatening expression, I’m pretty sure he meant ‘Lady, back yer car outta my yard, or my I’ll set my violent colt on it!”. Tommie, of course, is drowsy with fear.

    B1/2 “Apparently I’m a direct descendant of the last reported ‘Lesser Big-Nosed Neanderthal’ Homo hyperproboscus.

    C’shaft Some interesting questions are raised in this strip today. Namely, would Hitchcock’s The Birds have been as terrifying if they had been squirrels instead? And if Tippi Hedren and Rod Taylor were replaced with Ed and Jeff, would audiences have cheered for the birds/squirrels instead?

  10. The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan
    April 1st, 2014 at 7:38 am [Reply]

    Don’t look now, but Sinfest has actually been funny (and quite rude) the past couple of days…

  11. ScienceGiant
    April 1st, 2014 at 7:38 am [Reply]

    Jokes on you, Snuffy. Just like the print newspaper industry, the mail delivery service is also going to collapse in the next 10 to 15 years. Who’ll you prank then, hillbilly?

  12. AhClem
    April 1st, 2014 at 7:40 am [Reply]

    Shaft — Hahaha! South American squirrels! It’s funny because … because … um, I’ve got nothing.

    FW — Hahaha! It’s funny because … because … wimmin, amirite?

    MT — “I’ve got to get out of here!”
    “I’ve got to get off the island!”
    “I’ve got to catch him!”
    I’ve got to quit wasting precious seconds on my life reading Mark Trail.

  13. Mibbitmaker
    April 1st, 2014 at 7:42 am [Reply]

    BBailey: Decades of frequent beatings have left Beetle with no bodily consistency, able to be “beat up” at will. The sum of your life’s work, Sarge.

    A3G: Well, ol’ Elliott Carlin Doc Riley got to look unique from other men for one panel, anyway. That’s more than most men get…

    FW: That was actually funny — for 1972! Coincidentally, that was when Funky Winkerbean used to be funny, too.

  14. The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan
    April 1st, 2014 at 7:45 am [Reply]

    Apt. 3-G: Wait, is that a hi-rise building just on the other side of the trees from a compound that’s only accessible by a long and barely-passable dirt road? Omigod Omigod Omigod, “Happiness Falls” is a neighborhood in Brooklyn. This is truly breaking new ground for this strip, as will the rap-rhyme spitting, fawn-eating street horse in tomorrow’s panels.

  15. Mibbitmaker
    April 1st, 2014 at 7:49 am [Reply]

    @ScienceGiant (#11): “Wal, then, if’n ah gots teh go all dee-prived, ah’m takin’ ol’ Ed Crankshaft with meh! Hee-heeee!”

  16. Dr. Mabuse
    April 1st, 2014 at 7:50 am [Reply]

    B.C.: I like to think that the first few drafts had this caveman eviscerated, his eyes gouged out, legs severed in the mouth of a big ol’ tyrannosaurus or something, before someone told Mason to dial his “Ha, ha, April Fool’s” back a bit. Maybe not. Still, it wouldn’t hurt the people at JohnHartStudios Inc. to start documenting Mason’s behavior around the office–they might need a restraining order to ever feel safe again.

  17. aphthakid
    April 1st, 2014 at 7:51 am [Reply]

    BC: Wow, they spent all that time setting up that Curls was going to just epicly prank people for April Fools and then… FLUMP.

    LUANN: So, they got engaged on April Fools Day. Explains a lot.

    ASM: Spider-Man is confused when he realizes that he’s been in this fight with Jonah for like six months now. April Fool? What happened to Christmas?!? What year is this?! Also even more people killed by falling masony as part of Jonah’s no consequences rampage.

    CRANK: Continuing the riveting Ebony Bolivian Death Squirrel Saga. Soon to be a major motion picture with Liam Neeson as Crankshaft.

    9CL: Wow, that completely explained everything that’s happened so far… April Fool!

  18. Little Blue Bicycle
    April 1st, 2014 at 7:51 am [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#13): I’m waiting for the next FW timeshift into a dystopian future that has Les standing guard in the hallway with a machine gun again.

  19. The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan
    April 1st, 2014 at 7:53 am [Reply]

    Mark Trail: Okay, I’m not into all the gender-binaries and whatnot, but whoa, that is one sissy running style coming out the door there.[*].

  20. Amos Snarkadder
    April 1st, 2014 at 7:53 am [Reply]

    Animals in 3G I think adding animals to the Apartment 3G cast was a brilliant move. At last, characters with a range of facial expressions! That is one pissed pony!

    Family Curses It’s the palsy, Dolly. Bil’s not exactly young anymore.

    Skeevy Winkerbean I bet you get that a lot, John.

    Love is… rubbing your legs together as a mating call.

    MT Just remember: When Marlin is attacked by an enraged wounded sea turtle, I called it three days ago.

  21. The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan
    April 1st, 2014 at 7:54 am [Reply]

    @Amos Snarkadder (#20): Wasn’t One Pissed Pony Neil Young’s backing band in the 70′s?

  22. Mibbitmaker
    April 1st, 2014 at 7:54 am [Reply]

    MT: “…And how dare he have thought balloons! The Philistine!”

    Popeye: Like……Prince? (at least sometimes)

    Phantom: So the Wambesi are even more unethically despicable to an innocent woman’s mental autonomy than these guys? Wow! Hey, eat shit and die, Phantom!

  23. Little Blue Bicycle
    April 1st, 2014 at 7:55 am [Reply]

    A3G: Ribbons, by the way, is a small town about five miles up the road from the vet’s.

  24. Jim in Wisc.
    April 1st, 2014 at 7:57 am [Reply]

    Family Circus Freaks: That’s the racing form, Dolly. And all of Daddy’s horses lost yesterday.

    Crappy Depressingbean: Yep, just as everyone expected, last week’s Crapshaft was a setup for this week’s Crappy Depressingbean.

  25. merde
    April 1st, 2014 at 7:59 am [Reply]

    On Crankshaft: Anticipating tomorrow when Crankshaft comes up with his squirrel “final solution”. I’m hoping it involves his fertilizer stored in the garage, some diesel fuel and Crankshaft holding a match too close to all of it.

    On Dennis the Menace: Joey has a listening disability…all he heard was something “froncos”

    On Family Circus: That’s not Bill shaking his head “no”, that’s a twitch he’s developed from dealing with his brood. Tomorrow, it’ll be foaming at the mouth seizures. Thursday–paralysis…but no death escape on Friday unfortunately.

    On Funky Winkerbean: Oh, god no…not a Jeff cameo…

    On Luann: Maybe Toni is trying to find the right time to tell Brad that she was born “Anthony Daytona”?

    On Spiderman: Aha, so this battle has been going on for days or time does operate differently in this universe…like how that girder is still falling and people have time to look at it, scream, run for their lives, watch their kids grow up and graduate from college and then die of old age in the nursing home before it hits the ground.

  26. Mikey
    April 1st, 2014 at 7:59 am [Reply]

    ASM- That was a LOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGG way to go for an April Fools joke. Christ, I hope Lieber et. al. don’t have any Memorial Day ‘magic’ to pull out of the bag.

  27. Amos Snarkadder
    April 1st, 2014 at 7:59 am [Reply]

    Luann “My parents were engaged for three. That way I was old enough to be the flower girl.”

    @The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan (#21): Bwahaha!

  28. Dr. Mabuse
    April 1st, 2014 at 8:05 am [Reply]

    Snuffy Smith: Uriah opened the mailbox and found in it. . . a human head!!! Then again, in Hootin’ Holler a human head would still be a strange and mystifying thing even if it were attached to the neck of a person up and walking around.

  29. Kevin on Earth
    April 1st, 2014 at 8:09 am [Reply]

    MT: So let me get this straight. People in this strip are CAPABLE of thinking in thought balloons, but Mark simply chooses NOT to?

    MT2: For all the energy put into the exchanged punches, neither seems too worse for wear.

    MW: In the next panel of Mary Worth, has Iris thrown that drink in Wilbur’s face? Talk about mixed signals….

    GT: Did Gil just say the reporter -woman reporter, is on his High School boys’ baseball team?

    ASM: This plot is the drawing equivalent of a middle schooler presenting a 5 minute oral report that is liberally padded with “um”s and “like”s… You didn’t do the report, did you Stan?

    CS: Are they so afraid of squirrels they have to peek from behind not only a house wall, but the curtain as well?

  30. Doctor Handsome
    April 1st, 2014 at 8:09 am [Reply]

    Uriah doesn’t deserve this shit. He’s a Civil War veteran, for Christ’s sake. Sure, for the Confederate side, but he wasn’t fighting to preserve slavery, or even for Southern honor; he was just fighting for Us, Ma.

  31. hogenmogen
    April 1st, 2014 at 8:10 am [Reply]

    Crank: Ha ha! It’s funny because South American squirrels are migrating because of global warming! Haw! Wait, shouldn’t they be migrating south, towards the South Pole? Uh… SQUIRRELS! Ha ha!

  32. Oregonian
    April 1st, 2014 at 8:10 am [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#3): If you think life is hard for Uriah, just imagine what it’s like for his twin sister Urea.

  33. pugfuggly
    April 1st, 2014 at 8:11 am [Reply]

    JP “The Gardia brothers will kill me in the next 24 hours under cover of darkness. Probably tonight!” “Don’t you mean ‘definitely tonight’ then?” “Oh yeah…right…”

    MT Oh man: a confirmed villain is on the run from Mark with a good head-start, which means we’re under prime conditions for an INCREDIBLE ANIMAL INTERVENTION! But who will it be? A vengeful sea turtle who capsizes his boat? A mischievous raccoon who trips him on the way to his the dock? A low-flying seagull who plows beak-first into his eye? The suspense is killing me…!

    MW Better bring Wilbur his food soon: he’s started eating wads of napkins.

    SM…so has it been April 1st this whole time? Is this just a big prank pulled by Jonah and Tony? Is there no danger to Spidey at all? Does Robbie have his job back?

  34. Dennis Jimenez
    April 1st, 2014 at 8:12 am [Reply]

    @Little Blue Bicycle (#6): Small Animal Vet Forms Chipmonk Army

  35. Kevin on Earth
    April 1st, 2014 at 8:14 am [Reply]

    Phantom: Guran: “But the Wambesi serve their mind erasing furmula in Bandar Stew….oh…crap.”

  36. Anonymous
    April 1st, 2014 at 8:15 am [Reply]

    Every day, mailman Uriah wonders which one of his neighbors is the Unabomber.

  37. Voshkod
    April 1st, 2014 at 8:15 am [Reply]

    Oops, cleared cookies. Mailbomb fearing postman above is me.

  38. Mikey
    April 1st, 2014 at 8:16 am [Reply]

    MT- “Try Marlin’s Magic™ Brand Turtle Eggs! They make you feel like you’re walking on air!”

  39. hogenmogen
    April 1st, 2014 at 8:16 am [Reply]

    Spidey: There’s one fewer stone gargoyle today in the city of NY. The second panel shows his mixed expression of fear and resigned hopelessness. For he was a magical stone gargoyle, who could engage in pleasant conversation, should anyone choose to alight atop his perch, so far from the streets below. He was in the midst of composing the most beautiful and elegant poetry than has been crafted in years, when alas, it was interrupted with “Oh shi – !” and a blast of whatever fanciful weapon Iron Jonah has run amok with.

  40. Doctor Handsome
    April 1st, 2014 at 8:19 am [Reply]

    Does getting the joke in today’s B.C. require consulting Urban Dictionary about whatever disgusting thing “FLUMP” signifies? I doubt it’s worth it.

  41. hogenmogen
    April 1st, 2014 at 8:20 am [Reply]

    MT: So someone breaks into your house and punches you, and you abandon your house, career and girlfriend with only the clothes on your back and the law on your tail? You don’t tell Trail to get the fuck out while you destroy evidence (not that it would be admissible in court anyway).

    Sir Marlin ran away
    Sir Marlin ran away away
    When danger reared it ugly head
    he bravely turned his tail and fled
    Sir Marlin ran away

  42. Vince M
    April 1st, 2014 at 8:22 am [Reply]

    @The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan (#21): No, that was the movie Paul Simon starred in in the ’70s.
    Or maybe that song that was in ‘Billy Jack’ in the ’70s.

  43. Dennis Jimenez
    April 1st, 2014 at 8:24 am [Reply]

    @Kevin on Earth (#35): Bandar Stew – NOW WITH MORE MISSIONARY!!!

  44. pugfuggly
    April 1st, 2014 at 8:25 am [Reply]

    @Oregonian (#32):

    If you think life is hard for Uriah, just imagine what it’s like for his twin sister Urea.

    I hear they used to tour hill-billy country with a comedy double-act. The punchline to every joke was ”you’re sitting in it!”

  45. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    April 1st, 2014 at 8:25 am [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#y244): Yes. I don’t remember how I happened upon it, but I was taking an animation class at the time and I shared it. I think it hit everybody pretty solidly.

    AD – I kept expecting that to be Wiley. Cause he doesn’t like water. Eh.

    3G – Not at all surprised that two characters can dislike each other on sight and carry out a shouting argument without ever losing the whimsical half-smiles on their face or adopting any physical attitude apart from insipid, loose-handed pleasantry.

    Crank”I can’t even recognize all the different types anymore.”
    Just for you, Shaft, here’s a quick guide to the types of squirrels one sees in North America:
    Red Squirrels can be recognized by their reddish fur.
    Grey Squirrels sport distinctive grey-colored fur.
    Black Squirrels, on the other hand, bear fur which is black in color.
    If you’re still confused, just remember Roy G. Biv, and this simple mnemonic:
    Red Squirrels are red,
    Grey Squirrels are grey,
    Black Squirrels are black,
    Hip hip hooray!

    Dennis – “I told you they were buckin’ broncos! Apparently you misheard my warning as more of my customary profanity.”

    Mark”I’ve got to get out of here!”
    “I’ve got to get off the island!”
    “I’ve got to catch him!”

    Who could ask for anything more?

    Family – At the Darkgate, Bil’s empty-eyed astonishment over Billy’s impudence continues into its second hundred hours. I do believe we’re into The Family Inferno now, and Bil will spend eternity speechless over this effrontery.

  46. Dennis Jimenez
    April 1st, 2014 at 8:26 am [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#41): He who fights and runs away, lives to poach another day…. Huh – poached turtle eggs – that wouldn’t go over easy….

  47. Esther Blodgett
    April 1st, 2014 at 8:27 am [Reply]

    Way funnier than Family Circus today was Precocious Daughter’s reaction to it. “That…that’s not even a JOKE. It’s just an OBSERVATION. There’s no punchline, it’s just SAD. GOD, I HATE this comic.” When a 14-year-old can be moved to fits of pique over a legacy strip that hasn’t had a new idea in 40 years, you know you’re onto something. Bravo, Keane Enterprises. Keep doing what you do to stay relevant to the kids.

  48. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    April 1st, 2014 at 8:28 am [Reply]

    A3G: Tommie pulls up to someone’s house uninvited and then doesn’t understand when he yells at her to move her car. So I assume she’s well versed in the Mark Trail Visitors’ Code of Conduct.

  49. Kevin on Earth
    April 1st, 2014 at 8:33 am [Reply]

    @Dennis Jimenez (#43): …and savory chunks!!!

    @hogenmogen (#41): I was thinking of The Holy Grail as well -where the cast yells:”GET ON WITH IT” but couldn’t decide to which dragging plot it would apply

  50. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    April 1st, 2014 at 8:38 am [Reply]

    @Esther Blodgett (#47): When a 14-year-old can be moved to fits of pique over a legacy strip that hasn’t had a new idea in 40 years, you know you’re onto somethin

    To be fair, the 14-year-olds I have known can be moved to fits of pique over finding out in the morning that they drank all the OJ last night and Mom didn’t run out at midnight to buy more.

  51. Mumblix Grumph
    April 1st, 2014 at 8:40 am [Reply]

    Ah yes…It’s a “blast” to pick up mail from the old Kaczynski place.

  52. hogenmogen
    April 1st, 2014 at 8:43 am [Reply]

    DTM: At least those buckin’ broncos aren’t threatening to kick a car into ribbons.

  53. Mango Bill Bailey
    April 1st, 2014 at 8:44 am [Reply]

    Nancy: Brillo-Head finds herself shafted by Hägar the Horrible’s enemies.

    Tomorrow — Nancy and Oona get naked for their appearance in the “Love Is…” comic.

  54. hogenmogen
    April 1st, 2014 at 8:45 am [Reply]

    A3G: Can’t Dr. Riley just move the colt?

  55. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    April 1st, 2014 at 8:46 am [Reply]

    MW: See, Wilber, this is the flaw in your “I’m going quit my job so I can focus on my relationship plan”: Now you can only afford to woo Iris by taking her out to the sandwich shop. And within a couple weeks, the best you’ll be able to do is a couple of mayo-on-whites in a used paper bag.

    (Then again, Iris isn’t working, either, so she probably sees nothing odd about Wilber’s lack of employment. Charterstone is pretty much overrun with unemployed, slacker 50- and 60-somethings, isn’t it?)

  56. Mibbitmaker
    April 1st, 2014 at 8:46 am [Reply]

    Luann:
    “Yeah, take years to get married, kids. Wait a ton of time! Like that couple — the… Moesbys? That worked out just fine, I’m sure…”
    (pause)
    “Um…. you’re not having sex until you’re married, right…?”

    Honestly, though, after last night, I’m beginning to wonder if How I Met Your Mother had Tom Batiuk as a story consultant all this time. At least that would explain all the time jumps.

  57. TheDiva
    April 1st, 2014 at 8:47 am [Reply]

    BC: So April Fool’s Day was originally a bloody ritual enacted by a cruel, primitive god? Eh, makes sense.

  58. Oregonian
    April 1st, 2014 at 8:50 am [Reply]

    A3G – Why do the men always have lower necklines than the women in this strip?

  59. Mango Bill Bailey
    April 1st, 2014 at 8:50 am [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#56): “How I Met Your DEAD Mother” [FIFY!]

  60. Marc
    April 1st, 2014 at 8:57 am [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#48): “Hmm this Mister Riley fellow doesn’t want me parking in the middle of his front lawn. He must be trying to hide something. Maybe this whole veterinarian business is just a front for an illegal grass growing operation. I’d better punch him just to be safe”

  61. White Rabbit
    April 1st, 2014 at 8:57 am [Reply]

    MW: I think Wilbur’s getting ready to start meddling at last! Or maybe he’s going in for the kill on Iris, but look at the determination plastered all over his face! Be ready for weeks of spine-tingling excitement before we find out what he’s got in mind!

  62. Mikey
    April 1st, 2014 at 8:59 am [Reply]

    A3G- I can imagine a big yellow Post-It™ on Frank’s drawing board: “Curved cheekbone!”

  63. Liam
    April 1st, 2014 at 9:00 am [Reply]

    Snuffy Smith-Judging by the rictus like pose of the mailman I’m going to assume someone put a poisonous snake in the mailbox and it just bit him.

    BC-The joke here is making us think this guy is okay when in fact he’s dead.

  64. Ian Beste
    April 1st, 2014 at 9:08 am [Reply]

    Bizarro They won’t do it without a fez on.

  65. TheDiva
    April 1st, 2014 at 9:11 am [Reply]

    9CL: So, now Bill suspects she’s a Nazi? Only he’s under the delusion that he’s in a 1934 romantic comedy that had no Nazis in it? Maybe?

    A3G: “Oooh, I’ve never seen a horse make ribbons before!”

    C’shaft: Nature abhors Crankshaft so much that species travel miles away from their native habitat just to dick with him.

    FW: Tom Batiuk would like to remind you that women can like comics too–but mostly they’re mean old killjoys who have to be tricked so you can keep your precious, precious collection.

    Luann: I’d like to know what Brad was going to say–fear of what? Commitment? Sex? Confronting the fact that they have absolutely no foundation for a functional long-term adult relationship beyond “Clan Evans says so”?

    MT: *cue “Yakety Sax”*

    Marvin: Oh God, look at the expression on Marvin’s face in panel two. He knows the audience is recoiling in horror, and he’s relishing the fact.

    Phantom: Nobody does April Fool’s pranks like the Phantom.

  66. Kit
    April 1st, 2014 at 9:12 am [Reply]

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  67. Horace Broon
    April 1st, 2014 at 9:12 am [Reply]

    ASM: Don’t worry, tiny Spider-Man! Once you’ve leapt onto JJJ’s shoulder he won’t be able to blast you! Who’ll be the fool then?

    DT: I was already getting confused by the melange of fictional layers implied both by J. Straightedge Trustworthy and the Little Orphan Annie cameos. Now actual real people are appearing in the strip, and it’s not helping.

    It’s actually a pretty good likeness of Scott Shaw (or as he pefers to be known, Scott Shaw!)

    FW: Okay, we’ve had a deeply flawed attempt at “women can like geeky stuff too”, now it’s back to “women have no idea how important comics are”. The same theme that’s Batuik’s been mining in Crankshaft … which is set in … Oh. Oh, God.

    JP: The judge is starting to suspect that this is not a normal cancer hospital.

    RMMD: “And the memory loss?”
    “He’s forgotten all about it! Ba-dum-dum-tssh!

  68. Amateur
    April 1st, 2014 at 9:13 am [Reply]

    MW: “I appreciate that, Wilbur. I appreciate it so much that I’m about to dump my water all over you.”

  69. Mikey
    April 1st, 2014 at 9:13 am [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#65): MT-…and Six Million Dollar Man ‘running’ sound effect.

  70. Illustrator Steve
    April 1st, 2014 at 9:16 am [Reply]

    @Amos Snarkadder (#20):
    And after the giant sea turtle attacks Marlin they will both fall off the cliff to their deaths below … right?
    //Wow, The Mark Trail strip is just like Deja Vue all over again and again and again.

  71. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    April 1st, 2014 at 9:20 am [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#65): “Oooh, I’ve never seen a horse make ribbons before!”
    (To Tommie): He’s not that kind of a colt.
    (To Colt): MORE RIBBONS, MULE!!

    @Horace Broon (#67): I’m hoping the Dick Tracy team can fulfill a dream for me, a dream I’ve had since the first issue of Captain Carrot; a dream of seeing Scott Shaw (screw the bang) fall down an industrial smokestack.

  72. Shrug
    April 1st, 2014 at 9:25 am [Reply]

    @ReFlex76 (#y158):

    To be fair, you can add to your list of things Bwad and Toni allegedly have in common:

    A liking for dirty jokes.

    This was mentioned by Bwad in, if I recall correctly, the first week in which Toni was introduced to the strip and has never, if again I recall correctly, been referred to in any way since.

    Still, not a lot of common ground on which to plan a life together. . .

  73. Will
    April 1st, 2014 at 9:28 am [Reply]

    FW: Called it. CS crossover is imminent.

  74. Illustrator Steve
    April 1st, 2014 at 9:29 am [Reply]

    MT – “I’ve got to get out of here! I’ve got to get off the island and get to Walmart to buy a pair of PANTS that are my correct length!”

  75. Illustrator Steve
    April 1st, 2014 at 9:34 am [Reply]

    MT – Mark’s lack of thought balloons is a clear indication that he does in fact talk to the trees!

    // Oh well, maybe Mark could at least get the lead role in a local LoFo summer theater production of “Paint your Wagon”!

  76. Shrug
    April 1st, 2014 at 9:34 am [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#y192):

    “Phantom: Wambesiland? It’s not the place it used to be. Their brainwashing and behavior mods have really gone downhill since old Walt Wambesi died.”

    …and the mayor insisted on turning Wambesi Square all clean and Disneyfied so as not to frighten off the out-of-jungle tourists. . .

  77. Shrug
    April 1st, 2014 at 9:36 am [Reply]

    @Borborygmy (#y202):

    “It’s ok, if you can’t help yourself. Imagine a wine review: “Ok, if you’re an alcoholic.” ”

    There’s always: “A must for completist collectors.”

  78. Kevin on Earth
    April 1st, 2014 at 9:38 am [Reply]

    A3G: Tommy parked in the spot reserved for “Horse of The Month” so naturally that horse is now pissed.

  79. agony
    April 1st, 2014 at 9:42 am [Reply]

    MT – Marlin thinks “I’ve got to get off the island”
    there’s a Gilligan joke in there somewhere….

  80. AhClem
    April 1st, 2014 at 9:42 am [Reply]

    @Kit (#66): Kit? I think you got a whiff of your own amnesia powder, Ghost-Who-Spams.*

    *(old internet saying, in the Bandaid tongue)

  81. Liam
    April 1st, 2014 at 9:44 am [Reply]

    Gil Thorp-I always thought of Ric Devore more as a pitcher than a catcher.

  82. Illustrator Steve
    April 1st, 2014 at 9:45 am [Reply]

    MT – Dear TRMT,
    Congradulations on today, April 1st, being the official day you take full charge of the Mark Trail comic strip. Your illustrations, such as Cherry in nice yellow two-piece bathing suit, have been well recieved.
    Now if I may give you one bit of advice for you to start using for Mark, just two words, THOUGHT BALLOONS … hey, it seems most everyone else in LoFo uses them!
    But all seriousness aside, TRMT, Good luck with the strip! :-)

  83. Elk Meadow
    April 1st, 2014 at 9:47 am [Reply]

    @Liam (#8):

    RMMD-”An expert in Switzerland? Why don’t they just come to me? I’m an expert in everything.”

    You smooth mind reader, Liam.

  84. Uncle Lumpy
    April 1st, 2014 at 9:50 am [Reply]

    @Esther Blodgett (#47):

    When a 14-year-old can be moved to fits of pique over a legacy strip that hasn’t had a new idea in 40 years …

    Josh knows his gig is safe for another 50 years.

  85. bbofun
    April 1st, 2014 at 9:52 am [Reply]

    FW- (clears throat) CALLED IT! http://joshreads.com/?p=20923#comment-1999344 Admittedly, I didn’t call the specifics of it, but, c’mon! give me this one. It’s been a rough month.

  86. Jeck
    April 1st, 2014 at 9:55 am [Reply]

    Since the mailman’s name is “Uriah”, the mailbox probably contains a lecherous eleventh-century BCE king.

  87. Liam
    April 1st, 2014 at 10:00 am [Reply]

    Gil Thorp-Those aren’t pitchers. Those are belly itchers.

  88. Joe Blevins
    April 1st, 2014 at 10:07 am [Reply]

    BC: Okay, I’ll come clean. I don’t get this joke. BC has outsmarted me. Yeah, not a proud moment. I guess I’m puzzled about what the caveman is jumping into. Obviously, it’s not the water that the caveman is expecting. So is it mud? Concrete? Is the river/lake/whatever totally dry? I’m baffled.

    SNUFFY: April Fool’s Days have taken their toll on Uriah. Poor guy is 28 years old.

  89. Elk Meadow
    April 1st, 2014 at 10:11 am [Reply]

    MW: They haven’t gotten anything to eat, because they don’t know that at a sandwich shop, you order and pay at the counter. I have no idea where they would have gotten the drinking glasses, except maybe if the place has free serve-yourself water, which a few places here do, where you get your soda/beer at the counter and the water from a tap across the room.

  90. Hibbleton
    April 1st, 2014 at 10:16 am [Reply]

    A3G: Tommie should know better than to turn her back to Jack Riley’s uber aggressive stud colt. Although, this may be just what she needs to forget her dead fiancé.

  91. Northern lurker
    April 1st, 2014 at 10:16 am [Reply]

    MT: does jackelrod realize every action Mark has taken in this storyline has been criminal? Does he realize Mark is a dick?
    MT: Marlin is going to run into an enraged sea turtle or perhaps a Marlin.
    MT: why aren’t Marlin’s tiny little feet touching the ground? He appears to be levitating. It’s about time the strip had some levity.

  92. Écureuil Écumant
    April 1st, 2014 at 10:16 am [Reply]

    A3G: “Jack Riley, don’t you even dream of sheltering that pert piece of jailbait for one single night! Missy, you can just hop in that dumpster of yours and take her right back where she came from! Ain’t but one filly in Jack Riley’s stable, and I’m it, see?!”

    …Don’t you just hate nags?

  93. Écureuil Écumant
    April 1st, 2014 at 10:21 am [Reply]

    BB: But Beetle can hope that tomorrow on Buxley Wednesday, she’ll respond to him similarly. Stay tuned.

  94. Chad Sexington
    April 1st, 2014 at 10:48 am [Reply]

    I must say that, ever since I was a kid reading the comics, I have found the Christian messages that are regularly inserted into B.C. rather unsettling. Not for their evangelism, but rather, for their anachronism. I mean, you do realize what the letters “B.C.” actually stand for, don’t you?

  95. Borborygmy
    April 1st, 2014 at 10:54 am [Reply]

    @Shrug (#77): Heh! I’ve seen that one!

  96. hogenmogen
    April 1st, 2014 at 10:58 am [Reply]

    JParker:
    Abbott: We know how to deal with infiltrators here!

    Judge: Are you looking at me? What are you looking at me for?

  97. hogenmogen
    April 1st, 2014 at 11:00 am [Reply]

    June Morgan: They’re flying to Switzerland to see a specialist. Seems that Milton’s old doctor took his temperature and said he was fine. What a quack. Milton and Heather are planning on suing as soon as they… were they referring to you, honey?

  98. hogenmogen
    April 1st, 2014 at 11:07 am [Reply]

    @Chad Sexington (#94): Yes, there is that. My displeasure with the overt religious message in the strip and any others is that it’s a comedy strip. When you cross comedy and religion, it cheapens religion and makes the comedy unfunny. Making fun of authority is a standard comedy trope, and religion is our relationship with the ultimate authority. So the two don’t mix well. If you want to make a statement, go to a political cartoon page.

  99. Chyron HR
    April 1st, 2014 at 11:08 am [Reply]

    ABBOT: We know how to deal with infiltrators here! We tell them long stories with no real conclusion.

    JUDGE PARKER: Abbot, my friend, I have you covered.

  100. Sister Yezpitelok
    April 1st, 2014 at 11:11 am [Reply]

    Slylock Mallard: A family of commie pinko ducks is turned into road pizza by the ever-vigilant Joe the Plumber and his sidekick Joe, Junior.

    Fillmore Fox: As a hard-hitting reporter for Volpone Views (“We’re fair and balanced!”), FF continues to fight for Truth, Justice and the America Way.

  101. Nehemiah Scudder
    April 1st, 2014 at 11:22 am [Reply]

    @Valla Dia, Mate of Ulysses Paxton (#y120): I got so tired of dieting … that I stupidly resorted to surgery… I found out the secret was brain transplants…

    Is THAT the “weird old secret” to loosing belly fat they are always touting in the ads in the side bars?

    // Hmm. Could work…

  102. word-doctor
    April 1st, 2014 at 11:25 am [Reply]

    MT: It’s ok, Mark. He’ll be Trampled by Turtles before he gets to the dock.

  103. A. Smirch Unheeded, Archdeacon
    April 1st, 2014 at 11:32 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#101): Steve Martin tried something like that in “The Man With Two Brains.” While effective, the results may be temporary, and the treatment might need to be repeated. Unless you have very good insurance, this can get expensive.

  104. Baka Gaijin
    April 1st, 2014 at 11:51 am [Reply]

    @Amos Snarkadder (#20) on Apartment 3-G: Scott Tenorman better stay away.

    @merde (#25) on Luann: Oh ha ha HA! I’d love to see that.

    @Esther Blodgett (#47): Your child is insightful. Have you thought about having her publish a book of horsey pictures?

  105. Baka Gaijin
    April 1st, 2014 at 12:01 pm [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#56): Had Toni and Brad a friend who was a teenaged Canadian pop singer, she’d be boring beyond belief.

    @TheDiva (#65) on Luann: Fear that Toni’d find out he’s hung like a Ken doll in the cold.

    @Elk Meadow (#89): Wilbur sat them down at a previously used but not yet bussed table. Occam’s Razor.

  106. Liam
    April 1st, 2014 at 12:10 pm [Reply]

    Beetle Bailey-”Just for that, Beetle, I’m going to beat you even harder.”

    Bizarro-Is there a Doctor in the house?

    Gil Thorp-”I’m flattered you want me on your team but I’m just a newspaper reporter. I’m not a student at this school.”

    Gil Thorp-Coach Thorp is so desperate for players he’ll recruit anyone.

  107. Midtown
    April 1st, 2014 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#33): MT: Which incredible animal intervention?

    The money seems to be on an enraged sea turtle, but I’m betting on a vengeful pelican who’ll dump three gallons of sea water on Marlin.

  108. dougputhoff
    April 1st, 2014 at 12:16 pm [Reply]

    Whiny Finkerbean–While Holly is searching for STARBUCK JONES comics, Cory and Kahn getting shot at in Afghanistan, Summer and Keisha are getting the scholarships revoked, Les has become an alcoholic, Cynthia is suing her network, Pete is getting fired, and the bully is walking into Westview High with a Colt .45, hunting Cody and Owen.

  109. Liam
    April 1st, 2014 at 12:22 pm [Reply]

    JP-”Are you as good with a gun as you are with words, Alan?”

  110. lurkerman
    April 1st, 2014 at 12:22 pm [Reply]

    Every day is April Fool’s Day to Newspaper Spiderman.

  111. Esther Blodgett
    April 1st, 2014 at 12:28 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#109): “I don’t know. No one has paid me obscene amounts of money to use a gun yet.”

  112. Grandson of Mr. Ed
    April 1st, 2014 at 12:32 pm [Reply]

    A3G: Too bad the family fortune was squandered on gourmet hay and trips to expensive groomer/stylists. Now I have to pick up a few bucks in a second rate COMIC STRIP.

  113. Mibbitmaker
    April 1st, 2014 at 12:37 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#101): I just know the Phantom is behind this somehow…

  114. walt d
    April 1st, 2014 at 12:37 pm [Reply]

    Luann: I’m sure it’s been said, but as repellant as Luann and her friends are, Brad and his group are worse. They’re not even fun to make fun of.

    Shoe: This is true enough, speaking of the premise and not the merits of the assertion. A man would never ask a married man about his “love” life, and if he did, that man would lie. Men (excluding blues players) simply don’t want people to know that they’re treated bad at home. A married woman will cheerfully tell complete strangers the most intimate details of her marriage, secure that all the negative stuff will stick to him and not her.

  115. Joe, the Upper-Evergreen Guy
    April 1st, 2014 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

    FW: “So I always make him an offer he’ll have to refuse”, said the Fat Pervert, as he eyed her up and down. “But I **SO** have an offer for YOU”, said the Fat Pervert, with a quick lick of his lips…

    Luann: Recall that Mrs. DeGroot pretty much hated Toni in the beginning.

    MT: Panel 2……….”RUN, FOREST! ……..RUUUUUN!!!”

    RMMD (a.k.a. Sarah Morgan’s Book Deal, B.S.): Panel 3…….”How about a nice cup of shut the fuck up?”

  116. Stroker Ace
    April 1st, 2014 at 12:45 pm [Reply]

    9CL – Thought the dialogue made 9CL worthless. Today proved me wrong.

  117. AhClem
    April 1st, 2014 at 12:48 pm [Reply]

    JP – “Really? Tonight? Welp, that’s that. But before you go, can you write a nice tribute for the dust jacket of my awesome book?”

  118. walt d
    April 1st, 2014 at 12:54 pm [Reply]

    9CL: Careful, Bill. This is no time to be blowing your cover.

    9CL: I never realized before that the invasion succeeded because the entire German response consisted of the occasional lone sentry, double-agents choosing this time to go see their girl friends, and truckloads of soldiers and officers driving around looking for civilians to harass.

  119. TheDiva
    April 1st, 2014 at 12:55 pm [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#98): I disagree–I think that when done well, humor can be a useful tool in reflecting on our spirituality, even (or especially) if the humor is irreverent. Life of Brian is my favorite Python movie for this very reason. Hart’s problem was that his religion-oriented strips weren’t so much exercises in comedy as they were in self-satisfied piety, and sanctimony is the death of humor in any subject (see also: Pibgorn Sunday Rant Edition).

  120. Mochipants
    April 1st, 2014 at 12:57 pm [Reply]

    Josh, I’m amazed that you didn’t bring up that BC strip where a menorah violently burns up until a bloody cross is left behind, while quoting scripture from Christ’s crucifixion by the Jews…Yeah, that really happened.

    Or, you know, the one where Johnny Hart made possibly one of the most racist comments ever to make it past the syndicate: “infamy, a word seldom used after Toyota sales topped 2 million”.

    http://jdstone.org/cr/images/BC_20Apr2001.jpg

    http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b251/GrotesOfRaleigh/bc2006152711207.gif

  121. Girl Reporter
    April 1st, 2014 at 1:15 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#50): Fits of Pique would be an excellent band name. Greatest hits would include

    I Didn’t Want the Orange Juice in THAT Glass, OMGeeeee
    Why Did You Write My Name on All My Notebooks Like I’m Some Kind of Baby, OMGeeeee
    Why are You Soooo Embarassing, OMGeeeeee

  122. tallyHO
    April 1st, 2014 at 1:18 pm [Reply]

    @Mikey (#38):

    Are you tired of walking on the same old, ordinary ouchy eggshells?

    MT- “Try Marlin’s Magic™ Brand Turtle Eggs! They make you feel like you’re walking on air!”

    /eh?

  123. tallyHO
    April 1st, 2014 at 1:22 pm [Reply]

    @Midtown (#107):

    MT: Which incredible animal intervention?

    The money seems to be on an enraged sea turtle

    This is an adventure comic strip. That would take for- ever!

  124. Liam
    April 1st, 2014 at 1:28 pm [Reply]

    FW-Don’t. Just don’t. Don’t ruin ‘The Godfather’ by making a reference to it in your crappy comic.

    FW-”I always threaten him that he’ll wake up one day with his wife’s head in bed if he doesn’t sell.”

  125. Dennis Jimenez
    April 1st, 2014 at 1:29 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#119): Of course, not to be taken literally. All manufacturers of dairy products are equally blessed.

  126. hogenmogen
    April 1st, 2014 at 1:39 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#119): Well, Life of Brian was widely rebuked by most Christian leaders at the time. I don’t even know how it is remembered today after such a rebuking. It must have been very, very non-buked to begin with.

  127. hogenmogen
    April 1st, 2014 at 1:41 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#119): Oh, and those comics devoted to the Prophet Muhammed went over super-well.

  128. hogenmogen
    April 1st, 2014 at 1:44 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#124): I wake up with my wife’s head in bed every night. Does this threat have something to do with sneezing and coughing in the wee hours? That would deter me from things. Small things.

  129. Dale
    April 1st, 2014 at 1:48 pm [Reply]

    LUANN

    Toni: Planning …. I’ve been planning to mention this.
    Dirk has turned his life around. He and I are dating again.

  130. hogenmogen
    April 1st, 2014 at 1:51 pm [Reply]

    @dougputhoff (#108): Ah, you had me going until the bully thing. Cody and Owen would be hunting the bully in real life. They’d kill him, his friends, a few bystanders then themselves. Woot! Joy in Westview!

  131. bats :[
    April 1st, 2014 at 2:01 pm [Reply]

    Lorne (Y#105): filling in for Mr. Warhol…

  132. TheDiva
    April 1st, 2014 at 2:21 pm [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#127): But that’s kind of my point–having a sense of humor about the whole thing is a good antidote for taking ourselves too seriously and flying off the handle about ultimately superficial things.

  133. Nehemiah Scudder
    April 1st, 2014 at 2:36 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#131): Well done.

    // Incidentally, I have a camera someplace that will do that. It’s a cheap 35mm single focus, with four lens, each with a different color filter. Kind of cool to play with now and then. I’ll have to dig it up (while it’s still possible to buy film, and have it developed).

  134. TheDiva
    April 1st, 2014 at 2:40 pm [Reply]

    @Dennis Jimenez (#125): I always thought it was very telling that the focus of that early scene wasn’t Jesus himself (who’s actually played pretty straight in his brief appearance) but the people at the back who have no effin’ clue what he’s talking about. That’s a pretty good metaphor.

  135. Nehemiah Scudder
    April 1st, 2014 at 2:40 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#132): I hate things flying off the handle. Scimitars especially.

  136. KreatureFeatures
    April 1st, 2014 at 2:44 pm [Reply]

    @themanwhocameback (#5): Marlin is so enamored of sea turtle eggs, they shape his very thought processes.

  137. Dennis Jimenez
    April 1st, 2014 at 2:56 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#134): I love the movie myself – I found it interesting the way @hogenmogen (#126): I was sort of amused by the way the people who loved the Passion of the Christ, hated the Last Temptation of Christ – and the People who loved the Last Temptation of Christ, hated the Passion of the Christ….

  138. Nehemiah Scudder
    April 1st, 2014 at 3:07 pm [Reply]

    Phantom: …should have used an Extroodle McNoodle Redacting Machine.

    // He’s sure to have one in that cave somewhere.

  139. cheech wizard
    April 1st, 2014 at 3:43 pm [Reply]

    JP – Ok, so it’s pretty clear the bullets are going to be flying at this wedding. Only the wedding party will be shooting back, which makes me think this set-up was less inspired by Dynasty as it was by Li’l Abner.

  140. pugfuggly
    April 1st, 2014 at 3:47 pm [Reply]

    @Midtown (#107):

    The money seems to be on an enraged sea turtle, but I’m betting on a vengeful pelican who’ll dump three gallons of sea water on Marlin.

    I’m betting on raccoons, since we’ve already been introduced to some earlier in the story and we know how Mark Trail hates to leave any plot point unconnected. My longshot wish is for an angry manatee, or Rusty riding a salt-water crocodile (he’s an animal too!).

    @tallyHO (#123):

    The money seems to be on an enraged sea turtle

    This is an adventure comic strip. That would take for- ever!

    All he’s gotta do is trip over it. Then, the feeding begins…

  141. messy
    April 1st, 2014 at 3:49 pm [Reply]

    Why is Uriah wearing RAGS in SS? I mean he works for the government and all the OTHER letter carriers have uniforms….

  142. Calico
    April 1st, 2014 at 3:57 pm [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#127):
    Ah, religion and politics and the comics/cartoons.
    Here as of late the cartoonists are having a field day with the upcoming Quebec Provincial elections to take place April 7. There is a proposed bill by the PQ that would disallow public service workers of all kinds to wear religious headwear or “large” religious jewelry (Star of David, Crucifix, etc.)
    Thank heavens for the comics, because everyone is frustrated and on a bit of an edge at this point. It’s times like this that I wish Jack Layton were still with us.

  143. Nehemiah Scudder
    April 1st, 2014 at 4:00 pm [Reply]

    @messy (#141): Too dangerous. If he wore a uniform he might be mistaken for a revenuer, and be shot on sight.

    // Ok, sure everybody in the holler knows Uriah, but what if he was working in snow or rain or fog or gloom of night? Mistakes happen.

  144. Majicou
    April 1st, 2014 at 4:01 pm [Reply]

    @Mochipants (#120): Well… for accuracy’s and fairness’s sake, I should say that the candelabra in the first strip there probably doesn’t represent a menorah. The Hanukkah menorah, after all, has nine candles rather than seven (though the Temple lamp is supposed to have had seven.) In any case, a lot of Christian services for Good Friday involve seven lit candles in a candelabra or on an altar that are extinguished one by one as the “seven last words” are read and discussed.

    The second strip does come off incredibly racist, though (was he arguing we should blame Japan in perpetuity for Pearl Harbor, only we forgot because of the cars? Yeesh.)

  145. Alison
    April 1st, 2014 at 4:10 pm [Reply]

    “A-3G”: This dialogue sounds pretty hostile, yet nobody has an angry expression. In fact, Tommie is grinning away as the dude shouts that his horse will kick her car in.

    “Rex Morgan”: Maybe Milton isn’t upset by his memory loss anymore because he’s realized it’s caused him to forget who the Morgans are? Best memory loss ever.

    “Mary Worth”: Wilbur needs to get over his obsession with Tommy’s lack of employment. Especially since he gave up his own job, voluntarily. He has little room to talk.

  146. Jesús Jiménez
    April 1st, 2014 at 4:10 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#119):

    Whenever I want to mix comics with religion, I read Heaven’s Love Thrift Shop:

    http://www.seattlepi.com/comics-and-games/fun/Heavens/2014-03-30/

  147. Artist formerly known as Ben
    April 1st, 2014 at 4:11 pm [Reply]

    BC: BC just got pranked by the artist’s signature. Or was it truly the artist’s? This strip may have converted to Gnosticism.

  148. Artist formerly known as Ben
    April 1st, 2014 at 4:12 pm [Reply]

    MT: Needing to keep Marlin from escaping the island, Mark calls on the skills of his recent ancestor Willie Gilligan.

    WofI: That’s not at all how airbags work. Anyway, the strip almost certainly could have gotten away with a Whoopee Cushion gag.

    FW: It looks like Jeff Son In Law of Crankshaft will be meeting Holly, in a crossover that will be noticed here and very few other places.

    Archie: I can’t think of a bleaker theory of consciousness than that all my thoughts and desires originate with Archie Andrews.

    JP: “Do you love the smell of napalm in the morning? Combined with human flesh, I mean? You’d better learn to.”

    H&L: They’re all lying, but Lois is telling the biggest whopper.

    Blondie: Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. If you want to work at Dithers, Inc. you’ll go along with the idea that this is one of those times.

    FC: He’s actually shaking his head when he sneaks looks at his own offspring. He was hoping you wouldn’t notice.

    S-M: “We need to talk… I feel like I need more space… It might be good if we saw other people.” Spidey’s heard it all before, so this is what he was expecting from Iron Jonah.

    SFx: A Joe the Plumber cameo? Weber Jr. is already flashing back to the ’08 election?

    Marvin: Nobody wants to see Jeff in a rubber fetish suit. Especially since his genes are in Marvin. I mean, we can all imagine what he’s doing in there.

    A3G: Guess this is wear Barney Google stables Spark Plug in between his rare visits to Hootin’ Holler.

  149. Mincemeat
    April 1st, 2014 at 4:20 pm [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#54):

    Sure, but it’s more fun to watch your beloved pet break both its hind legs in mindless terror.

    You know that Tommie just pulled up within six inches of that horse, as if it were a parked car. I’ve actually seen people do that at the riding stable next door to my house; it’s a wonder no one’s been killed.

  150. Hank G.
    April 1st, 2014 at 4:21 pm [Reply]

    RM: “And the memory loss?”
    “It’s still there, but he’s forgotten about it.”

  151. cheech wizard
    April 1st, 2014 at 4:26 pm [Reply]

    SS – Why is Snuffy laughing? Because he’s spent the past six weeks stuffing a tomcat into a mailbox, then taking it out every few hours to whomp the shit of of it. Right now, it’s good and pissed.

  152. Hank G.
    April 1st, 2014 at 4:26 pm [Reply]

    @Alison (#145):

    “A-3G”: This dialogue sounds pretty hostile, yet nobody has an angry expression. In fact, Tommie is grinning away as the dude shouts that his horse will kick her car in.

    At this point in Bolle’s career, any correlation between the story’s events and a character’s facial expression is purely coincidental.

  153. Jesús Jiménez
    April 1st, 2014 at 4:30 pm [Reply]

    Apartment 3-G: Nice to know a middle-aged “Rusty Riley” hasn’t lost his love of all things equine:

    http://www.kenpiercebooks.com/images/rustyriley1948cvr.jpg

  154. Uncle Lumpy
    April 1st, 2014 at 4:34 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#148):

    It looks like Jeff Son In Law of Crankshaft will be meeting Holly …

    Hmpf. Jeff’s already crossed over in the “Lisa showed poor judgement was raped” story – stepping into Funky‘s jumpified chronology aged him 10+ years. If Holly’s quest takes her to Centerville, will she lose the equivalent years? She might not want to go back.

  155. Alex Blaze
    April 1st, 2014 at 4:40 pm [Reply]

    Considering Uriah’s parents named him after a chemical found in – and itself deriving its name from – urine, something tells me he’s pretty used to practical jokes.

  156. Droopy Says
    April 1st, 2014 at 4:43 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#148): We won’t see the Jff/Holly meeting. It will be obscured by walls of text on the importance of collecting and preserving comic books. Like a black hole, the meeting can only be detected by the smirks and hangdog looks of the people around it. It’s like a depressing Cosmos crossover, with Skunkhead flying the Ship of unimaginable Smugness.

  157. Myrtle
    April 1st, 2014 at 4:55 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#154): But.. but… if Holly goes to Centerville and back in time 10 years – Cory will still be a little kid and won’t be in Afghanistan, and Holly won’t know he collects comic books … and she won’t be looking for comic books! She’ll be wondering what the hell she’s doing in Centerville. I need to lie down now.

  158. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    April 1st, 2014 at 4:56 pm [Reply]

    @Mochipants (#120): Christ, that’s way more than seven words!

    I have one example (among my undergrounds) of “Sammy Saved,” a Christian comic that was enjoyable. I don’t recall offhand if there was much outright humor in it, but I fondly recall that it showed the cover of another issue of Sammy with his friend, Al Most. Sammy sits at a set table, but Al is standing off to the side, in a posture of anguished rectitude, saying, “I’d like to, but… too many hypocrites eat food…” Like the Wittenberg Door, there are indeed folks out there who can find humor in religion (mostly in human reactions to it) without compromising their souls.

    @hogenmogen (#126): There’s footage online of a couple of Pythons (John Cleese was one of them) on a TV show just before Monty Python’s Life of Brian came out, and it was practically an ambush. Some bishop and one of the Pythons’ idols — Muggeridge, I think, who was editing Punch at the time — had been shown a fairly misleading clip, and they tore right into the movie, based solely on that clip. The Pythons did not know that this was what they’d seen, and were thus unable to take any steps to counteract the false impression with the bigger picture. Makes me want to smite the smarmy, it does.

  159. seismic-2
    April 1st, 2014 at 5:09 pm [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#127): Of course, there’s this.

  160. demoncat_4
    April 1st, 2014 at 5:14 pm [Reply]

    mw i appricieate this wilbur. but not enough in the way you want spilling my water on you will have to do. rmmd. a specialist in swiss call her back and get his name so i can consult and give my opinion

  161. Peanut Gallery
    April 1st, 2014 at 5:14 pm [Reply]

    @Chyron HR (#99): Har! The Judge will read aloud to Fricko and Fracko from The Chambers Affair.

  162. Peanut Gallery
    April 1st, 2014 at 5:17 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#109):

    JP-”Are you as good with a gun as you are with words, Alan?”

    “Yes.”
    “Well, then we’re screwed.”

  163. Nehemiah Scudder
    April 1st, 2014 at 5:22 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#158): …a Christian comic that was enjoyable.

    I really enjoy Chick Tracts, though not in the way Jack intended.

    // BTW, there’s a whole website devoted to collecting Chick Tract parodies.

  164. seismic-2
    April 1st, 2014 at 5:25 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#154): Holly will go to the present-day Centerville, where Jeff is now that feeble shell of a man from the last cross-over, and where Crankshaft is no longer living with Jeff and Pam. Presumably Pam has finally got Jeff to sell off his comics, and we shall find out whether he ever bought that sought-after Congarilla story conclusion. I don’t know about you, but I shall not be able to sleep at nights until I find out.

  165. tallyHO
    April 1st, 2014 at 5:27 pm [Reply]

    Marvin: Nobody wants to see Jeff in a rubber fetish suit. Especially since his genes are in Marvin. I mean, we can all imagine what he’s doing in there. @Artist formerly known as Ben (#148):

    That’s strange. I rarely read Marvin and I’m presuming Jeff’s the dad. If so, I can totally see him in a rubber fetish suit, posing like a perverted Napoleon.
    (I’ll leave it to you, Kind Reader, to envision where he puts his hand)

    Plus, he seems like someone who would mewl as he begged for more.

  166. tallyHO
    April 1st, 2014 at 5:29 pm [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#140):

    The horror!
    I could see Marlin being consumed with guilt before being consumed by a sea turtle.
    You’ve convinced me.

  167. TheDiva
    April 1st, 2014 at 5:39 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#163): Someone is making a film adaptation of “Dark Dungeons.” Really. I’m still not sure which side of Poe’s Law this falls on.

  168. Uncle Lumpy
    April 1st, 2014 at 5:52 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#164):

    … we shall find out whether he ever bought that sought-after Congarilla story conclusion.

    I haven’t slept since I first learned of it. Apparently it’s some sort of comic book!

    So will Jeff’s enfeeblement be the result of visiting Westview, the result of “crossing over” (or back), or just Jeff’s progressive enfeeblement?

    Also, is Pam dating again yet?

  169. Artist formerly known as Ben
    April 1st, 2014 at 6:01 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#165):

    Plus, he seems like someone who would mewl as he begged for more.

    And as everyone else begged for less.

  170. seismic-2
    April 1st, 2014 at 6:01 pm [Reply]

    Snuffy: In Hootin’ Holler, mailman Uriah Heep worries that someone will take revenge on him for all the mean things that he’s done to David Copperstill.

  171. Artist formerly known as Ben
    April 1st, 2014 at 6:02 pm [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#156): Neal Drag-Ass Tyson, we might call him.

  172. Artist formerly known as Ben
    April 1st, 2014 at 6:12 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#119):
    Brian: It says, “Romans go home.”
    Centurion: No it doesn’t! What’s the Lat for “Roman”? Come on, come on!

    Good parallel between the later BC and the Sunday Pib-rants. While talking about religion and spirituality isn’t death to comedy, that kind of aggressive proselytizing usually is. Which is why I think Charles Schultz was more successful when treading on that ground. For him Christianity was true, but it was also a part of life that could be as funny as any other part.

  173. Artist formerly known as Ben
    April 1st, 2014 at 6:15 pm [Reply]

    @Sister Yezpitelok (#100): Volpone News? If a news channel ever starts covering the days events in the style of Ben Jonson’s plays, I’m subscribing!

  174. Artist formerly known as Ben
    April 1st, 2014 at 6:27 pm [Reply]

    @Ian Beste (#64): Must be waiting for the Babylon Sisters to shake it.

  175. Marthra
    April 1st, 2014 at 6:35 pm [Reply]

    BC: My dictionary says that a mason is someone who works or builds with stone or brick. The Mason of this strip must be whoever replaced the water with stone. Since that is such a miraculous, human-punishingly irrational thing to do, Mason=God, obviously. Ha ha, good one, Mason! (And please don’t smite me, by the way, ‘kay, God?)

  176. bbofun
    April 1st, 2014 at 6:47 pm [Reply]

    BC- This presents a truly interesting philosophical/religious/artistic question. The universe of BC was created by Johnny Hart, but the characters (eventually) seemed to believe in a form of the Judeo-Christian God. After their creators death, they appeared to lose that belief- but are now the playthings, seemingly, of a new trickster god. Add to that, the fact that their god is, in fact, a 3-headed god- the Mastroianni brothers, one of whom draws and co-writes, the other strictly a writer, and Perri Hart, who letters, colors, and contributes “gags.” Which of them is responsible for this poor character’s plight? The artist appears to take responsibility, or is he merely rejoicing in the plight of his (adopted) creation? And what does any of this mean to us? What if our creator passed away, after leaving us believing in the a cardboard version of the creator he worshipped, without leaving a clue to his own identity? What if several members of his family have merely taken over our world, and are twisting it to their own use, to line their pockets? HOW WOULD WE EVER KNOW?

    Actually, that would explain A LOT about the last few months of my life…

  177. Nehemiah Scudder
    April 1st, 2014 at 6:48 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#167): I’m still not sure which side of Poe’s Law this falls on.

    According to Poe’s Law, you can never tell! Nice production values in the trailer though.

  178. Nehemiah Scudder
    April 1st, 2014 at 6:52 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#177): Arguing against the idea that it is just a parody, is the legal issue that the Chick Tract is surely still under copyright. How important that is, I don’t know. Any legal eagles among you ‘mudges?

  179. Droopy Says
    April 1st, 2014 at 7:00 pm [Reply]

    @bbofun (#176): BC is now the domain of a three-headed god? That can only be Cerberus, which would explain why this strip is such a dog.

  180. Nehemiah Scudder
    April 1st, 2014 at 7:09 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#158): Some bishop and one of the Pythons’ idols — Muggeridge, I think, who was editing Punch at the time — had been shown a fairly misleading clip, and they tore right into the movie, based solely on that clip.

    Fortunately, the Pythons were Christian enough to be very gentle about bishops, always. BTW, my favorite bishop ever is the baby eating Bishop of Bath and Wells from Blackadder II.

    // Muggeridge was once very funny, but got religion and then became insufferably pious, as I recall. Much like Johnny Hart.

  181. Shrug
    April 1st, 2014 at 7:14 pm [Reply]

    @Jesús Jiménez (#146):

    I miss WILDWOOD. I’m not religious, and tend to be suspicious of religious themes in popular entertainment, but I loved that comic strip. Of course, it sank like a stone (while B.C. went on and on and on….).

    http://www.comicsreporter.com/index.php/briefings/commentary/1861/

  182. Peanut Gallery
    April 1st, 2014 at 7:28 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#171): Or, Derrick Is The Pitts.

  183. Dartpaw86
    April 1st, 2014 at 7:36 pm [Reply]

    I think it’s the result of a very very weird mood I’m currently in, but if they added a talking raccoon as part of Hooten’ Holler (Probably mutated from outhouse fumes) I would totally support that.

  184. Liam
    April 1st, 2014 at 7:55 pm [Reply]

    JP-”I’m sorry but you won’t be able to stop these guys the way you caused that drone to crash. These are men and not a mechanical object and that won’t react to your wife’s bouncing breasts.”

    MT-Boy is Mark in for surprise when finds out that Marlin is headed for his car and that they are really on a peninsular.

  185. Liam
    April 1st, 2014 at 8:26 pm [Reply]

    Snuffy Smith-There’s a human head in there.

  186. ProgKingHugs
    April 1st, 2014 at 9:30 pm [Reply]

    the mailbox will explode and leave behind a Uriah Heep. Look At Yourself now, Snuffy

  187. Mango Bill Bailey
    April 1st, 2014 at 9:44 pm [Reply]

    The “Scott Shaw” who appears in today’s Dick Tracy is a real person:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scott_Shaw_%28artist%29

  188. Mango Bill Bailey
    April 1st, 2014 at 9:55 pm [Reply]

    Monty: Moroccan Shrimp Tagine? Your father has suffered enough without you making a joke out of it.

  189. Vince M
    April 1st, 2014 at 10:08 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#180): My favorite bishop? THE Bishop! “Awright, Devious, don’t move!”

  190. Ukulele Ike
    April 1st, 2014 at 10:25 pm [Reply]

    @The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan (#10): “Don’t look now, but Sinfest has actually been funny (and quite rude) the past couple of days…”

    Wait a minnit….you enjoy Vagina Dentata jokes?

    Myself, I get kind of uncomfortable.

  191. Elk Meadow
    April 1st, 2014 at 11:05 pm [Reply]

    DT: Leapin’ Lizards! Li’l Orphan Annie’s long lost brother is here!

    FW: And the long-called cross-over with Crankshaft is now in session.

  192. Albert
    April 1st, 2014 at 11:08 pm [Reply]

    @Doctor Handsome (#40): @Joe Blevins (#88): Why, he jumped into flump. If you know what I mean. And I think you do.

    @Jeck (#86): Even then he should be okay unless he’s a Hittite with an unbelievably hot wife. Now there was a poor schmuck who got pranked.

  193. Elk Meadow
    April 1st, 2014 at 11:08 pm [Reply]

    MW: Wilbur, two words why even if Tommy was searching for work 24/7 and isn’t getting hired: Felon, recession.

    And you, idiot, are “loaning” the lap-top to Tommy, who has set up his own business and is arranging to meet his clients at various locations.

  194. Albert
    April 1st, 2014 at 11:19 pm [Reply]

    @Ukulele Ike (#190): Did you see the movie Teeth that was out a some years ago? It was funny and quite rude AND kind of uncomfortable. If by “kind of” you mean “very”.

  195. Droopy Says
    April 1st, 2014 at 11:47 pm [Reply]

    Spidercan’t: And the in-process retconning continues. Do any of the perpetrators remember the “Don’t break the sound barrier” warnings?

    Crapshat: Even by Batiuk’s standards this is stupid. More food = more squirrels.

    Family Circus: Jeffy, Mommy says PJ is too young to play with anything but puddles, but it’s okay if you make him jealous by playing with sinkholes.

    FW: Every ‘mudge who has commented on the way religion and irreverence don’t mix is shown right by this strip. There will be no more of this irreverent joking and smirking when they enter the presence of the Folly of Follies, er, Holy of Holies!

    Jugheaded Parker: “There will be blood? Can I watch? It’s the sort of thing I can work into the script, but only if you guarantee a high body count!”

    Mark Trail: Mark, why are you celebrating Halloween so early?

    Phantom: “Everything will be as it was when she came here . . . except weeks will have passed, and she probably won’t buy our story about how she contracted Wambesi fever, in which case we’ll be positively Wambeastly to her, old chum!”* (*in the Oxford tongue!)

    Pluggers would rather brag about ancient fads that keep up with new ones.

  196. Dale
    April 2nd, 2014 at 12:30 am [Reply]

    MARK TRAIL

    So Jason Smith called the “police”?
    What agency and for what reason? Mark’s been gone for just a few hours.

  197. Poteet
    April 2nd, 2014 at 2:18 am [Reply]

    MT: Wow, a change of scene and a building of suspense! I’d ask to see the alleged officer’s ID, myself, but I’m a suspicious person.

  198. Poteet
    April 2nd, 2014 at 2:23 am [Reply]

    MW: This. Is. Great. If Wilbur OR Iris were talking through a sandwich, it would merely be amusing, but both of them doing it raises this strip to new-classic status. If only Tommy were also there and talking through a sandwich. I can dream.

  199. Poteet
    April 2nd, 2014 at 2:28 am [Reply]

    9CL: There is probably some dimension in which all of this makes perfect sense. It’s not this dimension, however.

  200. Droopy Says
    April 2nd, 2014 at 2:52 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#199): That scene would be suspenseful, even dramatic, if anyone cared about these characters. It would be enjoyable if it led to gunfire and the mass slaughter of the entire cast. Instead it’s Chekov Water Pistol, guaranteed to dampen your spirits.

  201. Huckleberry Fink
    April 2nd, 2014 at 6:20 am [Reply]

    @Mango Bill Bailey (#53):

    Tomorrow — Nancy and Oona get naked for their appearance in the “Love Is…” comic.

    You were right about Nancy and Oona getting naked — but “Love Is…” had nothing to do with it.

  202. Huckleberry Fink
    April 2nd, 2014 at 6:25 am [Reply]

    @Sister Yezpitelok (#100):

    Slylock Mallard: A family of commie pinko ducks is turned into road pizza by the ever-vigilant Joe the Plumber and his sidekick Joe, Junior.

    Coincidentally, commie pinko duck is “The Topping of the Month” at Montoni’s Pizza.

  203. Alan C
    April 2nd, 2014 at 10:44 am [Reply]

    What is it with people eating in Mary Worth? It never looks realistic. It’s like they’re just shoving the food against their faces.

  204. Dale
    April 2nd, 2014 at 11:40 am [Reply]

    @Alan C (#203):

    MW

    The style is consistent. They just sort of touch things: knives, forks, cups, glasses, pens, pencils, keyboards, themselves.

  205. Baka Gaijin
    April 3rd, 2014 at 12:55 pm [Reply]

    Mary Worth: Eureka! I just remembered! Wilbur Weston’s hoagie grip in panel one reminds me of how Pablo Neruda held his tortas.

  206. Mochipants
    April 4th, 2014 at 12:51 am [Reply]

    @Majicou (#144):
    For “fairness’ sake”, eh? Yeah, because that’s TOTALLY not meant to be a menorah just because Jonny Hart is too stupid to realize they have 9 candles, not 8.

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