The Comics Curmudgeon

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Metapost: Better comments of the week

Hi all! Just one item of note for you this week before I launch into the COTW: A faithful reader sent me a link to a funny Zits-related blog, Better Zits. For everyone who loves Zits, or hates it!

And now, this week’s top comic:

“Things you don’t want to hear your girlfriend say: ‘Someone found love on the Internet? Sounds interesting! Tell me more!’ Unless of course your girlfriend is Mary Worth. Then you present her with a long list of URLs and hope for the best.” –Amateur

And the many hilarious runners up!

“Patti’s revenge will be hiding Ken’s razor blade. Facial hair is like a duck call for fists.” –Mischief Maker

“I’ve written a haiku about today’s Momma: Momma and her son/ Slathering diaper ointment/ Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarf.” –Matmaduke

“I’ve heard enough about getting off on Tommie’s feet, Gary! That will DO! Though … I must say I’m curious how there could be a ‘wrong’ one?” –migellito

“Actually, I’m fairly certain that Bryce’s ‘You’re all about to get a lot better’ is merely the preamble to his speech about the benefits of performance enhancing drugs.” –AbbeyRoad

“Wow, Mary is quite aggressively looking everywhere but at Jeff, and I mean even more so than is standard for Mary Worth interlocutors. I think we all know what that means. I’m pretty sure Jeff does, too, and is hastily changing the subject because he knows if he pursues it it will inevitably lead to tears, recriminations, angry newspaper-brandishing, missed Bum Boat appointments, increasingly groveling answering-machine messages to which Mary is hilariously indifferent, and his final dignity-immolating resignation to the fact that he is Mary’s very last choice, and will jump at whatever scraps of pallid affection she grudgingly allots him. I for one applaud his decision, but I think mainly out of self-interest.” –Violet

“Foolish Gary! Don’t you know you can’t turn a ho into a housewife? (‘Ho’ being short for ‘wHOlly uninteresting character in a serialized comic strip.’)” –Joe Blevins

“Elrod has boxed himself in now. All I can see upcoming is either a zombie deer, or venison chili. Either of which will frighten the children and faint of heart. But I am neither, and to see that deer lumbering around at midnight craving human brains to eat will do this old heart good. Or alternatively, a good venison chili recipe will also be appreciated.” –Jumper

“9CL: I could watch this plot for the rest of my life. And, you know, it might just take that long.” –Crow T Robot

“I think the real reason Oedipus poked his eyes out was that he knew, someday, there would be something like Momma inspired by what he’d done, and on the off chance it happened during his lifetime, he wanted to make damn sure he wouldn’t have to look at it.” –Winky’s Spleen

“Judge Parker, reclining and legs apart, urges his colleague to take some cash ‘for handling my deal.’ This has nothing to do with publishing a book, does it, Your Honour?” –Mooncattie

“Why, with half the advance money, I could buy a full-sized bottle of beer, rather than make do with this bottle of Tabasco Sauce I keep refilling with with Schlitz.” –Lettuce

“Actually, Gary is doing the right thing. Just as oil and water don’t mix, he knows not to risk getting Tommie involved with information that might be interesting to some people.” –Rhekarid

“Given that the computer system Gary’s working on is in the hospital, I’m guessing the ‘sensitive information’ he’s privy to has something to do with Tommie and a stubborn rash.” –BigTed

“I can see why Patty is so distraught. Bucky has a scratch on his head! And is all alone! In the woods! At night! On the other hand, we are talking about a fucking deer, right?” –AMSTERDANG

“Last week it was an argyle sweater with electric blue Homer Simpson pants and now it’s a mint green blazer? Why is it that all the men in Mary Worth have to dress like the awkward white people from an early ’90s rap video?” –bitter law student

“All I can say about Pluggers is thank god the waitress wasn’t a cow. Or a shrimp. Were that the case, pure mayhem might have ensued. Of course, for Pluggers, mayhem would be a big step up from its current soul-crushing despondency.” –Jeff Soesbe (yeff)

“Marty Moon tells us, ‘Bryce Larkin gets a big hand as he takes his seat.’ Well d’uh — everyone in Gil Thorp gets a big hand.” –seismic-2

“‘Internet dating sometimes yields a suspect gathering of prospects.’ Did I read that? Or am I on acid?” –Monkeyhawk

“You’re a great lay, Tommie, but you’re not HIPAA violation great.” –Kelvin the Clown

“I wish Adrian had met her boyfriend in a normal place, like a bar or schoolyard!” –Naked Bunny with a Whip

“Boy, forget about the new Internet boyfriend! It’s Dr. JEFF I’d be worried about. That pose in the last panel has ‘psychopathic dismembering loony tunes’ written all over it. Even the usually unflappable Mary is watching him in the rear view mirror, timing her leap out of the moving car. Right now she’s reminding herself, ‘Tuck and roll, Mary … tuck and roll.’” –mojo

“Dolly isn’t referring to her Valentine hearts, but rather to her own seven misshapen hearts. What, you think a human can have a head shaped like that?” –Dagger

“Chip and Jerry found some 40-year-old blotter acid in the guitar case Hi had forgotten all about. It’s the only explanation for why Chip is trying to play a stringless guitar and Jerry is reading a 1978 issue of Cosmopolitan.” –Islamorada Girl

“Given the way he talks, Ted Confey is clearly some sort of time-traveling dandy from the nineteenth century. Fortunately for him, he’s landed amongst Mary Worth and co., so the displacement from his own era will seem negligible.” –Digger

“It disturbs me that none of you have put two and two together, looked at Ted Confey’s mustache, and determined that he’s going to be the next Mark Trail villain. Evidently he’s going to take the ‘only woman in the world’ and put her on some sort of wildlife preserve where she can run free as the only one of her species. Mark will then punch him.” –Aitherion

“Shoe needs a Spiderman-style narration box at the end of this strip: ‘Confused?! We’re making some changes to the world of Shoe! Not only are they vaguely birds, now they casually eat lightbulbs!!! It’s going to be awesome!’” –teddytoad

“Hey, Judge Parker literally said ‘You’re the new Judge Parker!’ to his son, confirming what we’ve known for … a decade. Maybe longer. Perhaps in a couple of years they’ll admit that their world is populated by an uncanny amount of young women with huge breasts.” –Sheila Sternwell

“I like the huge crucifix on the swearing-in Bible — presumably just to remind people that yes, it’s a Bible, and not simply the yellow pages or a Sears catalog.” –Calico

“That Confey is not only a cad, but a bounder. You mark my words. [Later:] I apologize for my strong language above. But I’d say the same to that ruffian’s face, if I only had the chance. [Later still:] In the thread to Sunday’s posting, I spoke harshly of this Confey fellow. I might as well confess that my own daughter was once the victim of a low villain such as he. It was before the days of the Internet — but even then, the same genius of cruelty, deception, and greed was at work in the world, as it has been, indeed, since the snake in the Garden first worked his insinuations on the tender mind of Eve. My daughter’s betrayer was an aerobics instructor, a respected profession in those days, and no one could have suspected that while he was firming the innocent behinds of America’s youth, he had quite other plans in mind. I won’t burden you all with the whole sordid tale; I’ll only say that when the television’s on late at night, and I see those haggard young women trying desperately to smile as they grimly ply their tawdry little fitness machines, I think of my daughter, and wonder if we’ll ever speak again, in this world or the next. I wish every day that we’d had a wise friend like Mary Worth.” –Morten

“I had no idea The Nation had a geography-focused offshoot. But it does sound fascinating, which explains why people are gathering outside the restaurant and asking questions through the window.” –ratnerstar

On Adrian Corey’s paramour: “Most likely, he’s the sort of man that delights in calling into port, wooing a young lady without prospects, and then making her overcome with the vapors at his worldly lusts. And then, while she is still swooned, he makes off with her jewelry and steals away, leaving only a scent of exotic cologne and a cloud of shame that leaves the young woman unmarriable. You better hurry, Mary, lest he hop the next zeppelin to Prussia and escape your meddling wrath.” –LightningDuke

“It will be an HONOR to use it! Get it? Honor? OH COME ON, I ALMOST NEVER TRY TO BE FUNNY! SOMEONE LAUGH BEFORE I START BASHING SKULLS WITH THIS GAVEL!” –Roto13

“I salute the individual who, faced with a pitch-black New York night, expresses his contempt for the darkness by honking his car horn religiously. Godspeed, sir.” –Lithros

“‘I’ve seen things you wouldn’t believe!’ Ted said and let the bait hang, carefully watching Mary’s expression from the corner of his eye. Or would she? he wondered. Did she have any idea what he had found, deep in the depths of the blood-soaked Aztech temple? Did she suspect he had seen the carvings, the drawings that showed a woman leaning towards the king and suggesting that if he sacrificed a thousand captured prisoners the sun would not go out and perhaps his wife would love him again? Did she know what he knew about her past, the long, twisted influence she had stretched across dynasties and empires through the centuries? Ted swallowed another bite to keep up appearances. My, he thought with surprise, the shrimp scampi was good.” –Black Drazon

I give prodigious thanks to those who put some money in my tip jar — you know who you are! I’d also thank our advertisers … if there were any who bought BlogAds ads, and who thus get thanked every week! Sadly, there aren’t any this week — maybe next week I’ll be thanking you! To find out more about advertising on this site, click here.

This entry was posted on Monday, February 16, 2009 at 10:22 pm and is filed under Zits, metaposts.

104 responses to “Metapost: Better comments of the week”

Aitherion
February 16th, 2009 at 10:31 pm [Reply]

While I am highly pleased to be a runner-up for the second time now (Third time’s the charm, right? I’m guaranteed COTW next time I say something funny! In my own little world, at least.), I must say I laughed harder at teddytoad’s runner-up comment right below mine than I have at anything in a while. Good show, and congrats to Amateur and the rest of my fellow runner-ups.
Winky's Spleen
February 16th, 2009 at 10:52 pm [Reply]

WooHoo – my first runner-upship! This is better than the time I came in 15th in my 7th-grade spelling bee.
Poteet
February 16th, 2009 at 11:03 pm [Reply]

What a wonderful float-load of funny. Congratulations to Amateur and all you runners-up. Y’all did great this week. My ribs hurt.
He Brought Queenie Baby Jesus
February 16th, 2009 at 11:04 pm [Reply]

Congrats to everyone. This week’s batch seems unusually strong.

And now I just gotta get this off my chest: aaaaaaaaaargh what the hell is going on in Peter Parker Is a Failure? It’s been less than two months since the strip was updated so Peter wasn’t with Mary Jane and was back in college and living with Aunt May. Now here we are and Peter’s off to boink MJ and Aunt May is about to die and RRRRRRRRRRR WHAT THE FUCK

At the rate things are happening and unhappening lately, I wouldn’t be surprised if Spider-man managed to defeat this Electro guy.
Roto13
February 16th, 2009 at 11:10 pm [Reply]

Oh snaps, I’m a runner up. That’s awesome. :P
commodorejohn
February 16th, 2009 at 11:11 pm [Reply]

Oh, what a crop! Kudos to all you wonderful people!
Esther Blodgett
February 16th, 2009 at 11:16 pm [Reply]

Great comments this week! But let’s not forget, there is no great comics snarkage without truly great comics suckage.
Poteet
February 16th, 2009 at 11:33 pm [Reply]

# 4 He Brought — I hope Peter does defeat Electro and does it soon, because I’m developing an unhealthy obsession with ol’ Spiky-Head. Between the flexing and the ranting and the magic disappearing yellow undies, I’m agog.
PeteMoss
February 16th, 2009 at 11:49 pm [Reply]

Wow! Funny stuff from all above! Thanks for the yuks and congratulations to all of this week’s contestants.
seismic-2
February 17th, 2009 at 12:21 am [Reply]

Great job, Amateur! That one had “winner” written all over it from the get-go.

Wow, I got to ride the float twice last week and once this week. Unfortunately, that probably means that I have used up my quota of snark for the rest of 2009. That wouldn’t be so bad, except that some of the characters in Funky Winkerbean are still alive.
True Fable
February 17th, 2009 at 12:22 am [Reply]

Good job of award-winning snarkage, all!

Additionally, everyone wins tickets to this upcoming attraction. You lucky lil devils!
Amateur
February 17th, 2009 at 12:22 am [Reply]

I made COTW???????????

Holy cow!!! My mouth literally just fell open. :-) I’m so honored! Thank you so much, Josh!
Angry Kem
February 17th, 2009 at 12:25 am [Reply]

Marmaduke is the medieval Antichrist again. Marmaduke is always the medieval Antichrist. It’s getting kind of predictable.

Congratulations, funny people. It seems that Snidely Whip–er, Ted Confey has inspired everyone to new heights of hilarity. Just wait until he attempts to twirl that tiny moustache around his finger while he declares, “Soon, my pet…soon, the world will be mine! Bwahahahahaha!” Then he’ll ask Mary over for tea.
Sheila Sternwell
February 17th, 2009 at 12:26 am [Reply]

Congrats Amateur and all the runners up! I don’t know how to word that without sounding like I’m congratulating myself! Sorry!

Esther, you said it. We should all thank the comic gods for such bounty.

P.S. I get Digger and Dagger confused. There, I said it.
Amateur
February 17th, 2009 at 12:32 am [Reply]

Thanks, all, for the kind words, and may I just say to my fellow float-riders, you guys rock! Great stuff all around.
Harold
February 17th, 2009 at 12:50 am [Reply]

Hooray to all the float-riders! Toss some candy and beads this way!
Digger
February 17th, 2009 at 12:59 am [Reply]

Thanks for the runner-up spot! I have to agree that with the likes of Ted Confey and Bucky the Deer joining all the usual suspects it’s getting pretty easy to snark on the comics these days.
Poteet
February 17th, 2009 at 1:08 am [Reply]

2/17 MW — And as Jeff launched into his lengthy tale, with Mary leaning forward tensely as she waited to leap in with her own prolonged observations, Ted realized with a growing sense of dread that this particular scam would be far more painful than he had ever dreamed.
papa zita
February 17th, 2009 at 1:33 am [Reply]

A3G: Margo’s arrival is like a bong hit of burning dogshit.

MW: When are the shadows like bars across Jeff’s face going to appear, to let us know about his reminisces of the Hanoi Hilton?

June Morgan, Blithe Spirit: If a visage like that walked into my room, I’d run screaming, “It’s the Reaper!!”. June can somehow manage a chirpy hello, even though Death enters her cabin.
Muffaroo
February 17th, 2009 at 1:38 am [Reply]

Ah, the COTW float… all that fine snark, distilled and collected together. As a coda to my day, it pretty much exceeds all the rest of it put together. You guys. I’m so proud to hang out here, and photoshop my face into the group pictures and forge your autographs in my yearbook. The time I spend standing in the street all night staring at your front doors is golden to me, and I humbly and sincerely thank you for it. Hey, do you like rabbits?
sugarpie
February 17th, 2009 at 1:53 am [Reply]

My, my, my! Im still laughing at Amateur’s COTW.
Congratulation to everyone!
Deena in OR
February 17th, 2009 at 2:15 am [Reply]

Whoa, Ted! Way to grow a pair!!
kurt
February 17th, 2009 at 2:28 am [Reply]

Congats to the winners!

Maybe they will come up with something for SM, where Aunt May, on the floor, utters “I’ve Fallen…can’t get up!”

(sound of kurt’s head banging the wall as he moans “Give me STRENGTHhhhhh!”)
Poteet
February 17th, 2009 at 2:35 am [Reply]

2/17 PBS — Thanks, Mr. Pastis, I needed that. *sniff*
Angry Kem
February 17th, 2009 at 2:59 am [Reply]

Dear Ted Forth:

Congratulations on your new spine. I have a favour to ask of you. My ex-friends Amos and Edda are exchanging sexual metaphors backstage at a concert, and they have been doing so since early December. Could you please go to Brussels and kick the living crap out of them both? I would really appreciate it.

Thanks,
Angry Kem.
True Fable
February 17th, 2009 at 3:01 am [Reply]

DtM Okay, I want to know who the surfer is in the Mitchell family. Henry doesn’t look like he could heft a surfboard any better than Dennis could. That leaves Alice but when in her little domestic diva life does she get a chance to go hang ten?
FC Billy looks like Pepe LePew, but it’s Jeffy who’s raising the stink.
Canadian Zombie So what does a superior intellect have to do with turning out the lights on a kid? Does it melt his face like it shows in the final panel? Then I’m all for it, I guess.
Sweaterpuppies & Lanternjaws I’m still trying to get used to Barreto’s Randy, who looks like a cross between Sam and Steve. But who the hell cares about Stam, there’s Abbey in the last panel and it’s about damn time.
Fist O’ Justice Theater No, Mark. Zombie Bucky died and is now roaming the earth in search of giant squirrels to spy on his next victim.
Marmadick Jeezus, the Andersons are seriously warped.
Marvin There will be blood, and I don’t care whose it is.
Meddling Heights Mary stares as Jeff rambles on about Vietnam. Give yourself enough rope to hang yourself, dude.
Kit Walker, Matiwan Ranger Note to Kit: as a matter of fact, those striped granny panties DO make you look fat.
RMMW Hey, I’m a writer and I’m always up at 4 a.m. – but I’m at WORK, and I don’t look like some old dessicated sun-dried apple-headed Roswell alien in a bad hat.
S4th Ted with a spine. This ought to be an interesting foray into cartoon anatomy!
S-M Even Spidey’s reality has commercial breaks!
Mibbitmaker
February 17th, 2009 at 3:40 am [Reply]

2/17:

A3G: Margo: “If I’m not having sex, NOBODY’s having sex!”

Curtis: I’d worry, Curtis — Gunk’s eyes are one atop the other completely, now! That can’t be good! And…EEEWWW!!

ReFOOB: Nobody, but NOBODY has superior intellect in the Patterson family! Nobody!

Big Fur-shlugginer Dog: Marm’, you are not Lio… and you will never be Lio. Don’t even try.

MW: Mare’s expression really SAYS, “Jefferey, I TOLLLLD you not to TALLLLLK about thaaaaat” — in a growly, sing-song voice barely pushed through her closed lips. After the 2nd panel, Mary has almost the same expression, except the barely hidden anger starts to slowly show through her expression.
Adrian: “Mary, are you alright?”
Mary (to Jeff): Honey, I was just wondering… have you ever been to an…….. intervention?”
Mibbitmaker
February 17th, 2009 at 3:56 am [Reply]

2/17B:

6C: Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk!

S-M: Great, May! Now say, “Wheeeeeeere’s the beef?!”

ZtP: Shameful, my ass — Those Wacky Packs were one of my favorite parts of the ’70s.

Zits: stomping into FOOB territory, where both genders look bad (gals notice mainly shallow things; guys notice nothin’, duuuuuuuuhh, thuh morons). Maybe next time, the characters will go back to being stereotyped by age group once again…
Trilobite
February 17th, 2009 at 4:03 am [Reply]

Today’s Marmaduke will no doubt provoke two waves of angry letters to the editor, thanks to the introduction of the big dog’s hideous and malevolent “imaginary friend.” The first wave will be from Marmaduke fans upset by the inexplicable supernatural twist the comic has taken, while the second wave of angry letters will come from ordinary newspaper readers furious at the revelation that Marmaduke fans exist.
Mars
February 17th, 2009 at 4:29 am [Reply]

S-M: “Want to come up for coffee?”

WHAT IS SHE TALKING ABOUT? IT’S A BLACKOUT! SHE CAN’T MAKE ANY!
Crooked Soricidae
February 17th, 2009 at 4:35 am [Reply]

S-M: Aunt May is doing infomercials now to make up for the fact that the Seniors Gone Wild series has not the been the money maker that Joe Francis had convinced her it was. Elder Porn is always a fickle business…
athena
February 17th, 2009 at 4:48 am [Reply]

#24: I came here solely to say the same thing! [Now back to our regularly scheduled snark, already in progress.]
Mr. O'Malley
February 17th, 2009 at 5:08 am [Reply]

30. She can make coffee if she has a gas stove.

A few years back we cooked an elaborate Christmas Eve dinner for 6 people by candlelight during a blackout. Wasn’t that difficult, really.

I once lived next door to some people who actually had gas lighting–not for the whole house, but enough to be a little gleam of light in a sea of storm-induced darkness.
Jack Parsons
February 17th, 2009 at 5:55 am [Reply]

If you make spaghetti with food coloring, in the dark it looks like glowing worms.

In today’s Zippy The Pinhead Griffy reminisces about drawing cards for Topps. Ralph Spiegelman (Maus) ran the production shop at Topps and drafted part-time work for his cartoonist buddies. Garbage Pail Kids etc.
gleeb
February 17th, 2009 at 7:38 am [Reply]

Cul de Sac: It’s good to see Papa Moai getting work outside of Red Meat.

9CL: More dick jokes.

Cleats: They should focus on the big picture. They should be asking, “why are we in Cleats instead of a good comic?”

’shaft: Why would you ask misanthropic incompetent Ed to take care of anything? There’s an insurance angle here, I’m sure.

Dick: He set you up, eh? Well, you did shoot him.

Gas: Actually, they ate martyrs, but why argue with a woman who thinks Adam and Eve were poached eggs?

Pluggers: …eventually realize they’ve been sleeping with a chicken for years. I mean, that’s not the expression of someone who can’t read a menu. He’s had the bottom kicked out of his life.
ChattyGenes
February 17th, 2009 at 8:18 am [Reply]

#26 True Fable.

“some old dessicated sun-dried apple-headed Roswell alien in a bad hat”

You had me laughing for quite a while!:-)
Saluki
February 17th, 2009 at 8:21 am [Reply]

Whew finally, after a long dry spell of boring plot in Judge Parker we finally get some gratuitous T&A in the third panel today!

My Cage: Well at least now we know what happened to the deer in Mark Trail. Irving seems to have a deep scratch between his antlers.

Rex: Why is Mick Jagger on this cruise? And why is he dressed in drag disguised as some famous writer? Mysteries abound.
Little Guy
February 17th, 2009 at 8:27 am [Reply]

yCandorville: “True Blood” props and ref?

Candorville: Gary Trudeau called. He wants his schtick back.

Tank: Nancy. Julii. Steel Cage.

Spidey: She’s not THAT helpless! She dialed YOUR number before 9-1-1.

Luann: Um, ordinary people can’t get to the Capitol that way, thanks to Osama. That’s what the underground Visitor’s Center is for.

S4th: Two days in a row, Ted has a backbone. I’m intrigued.

ZtP: Oh, don’t crap on my sweet childhood memories, Griffy.
Chyron HR
February 17th, 2009 at 9:16 am [Reply]

9CL – “I’m giving you a standing ovation. I want an encore. With some slow movement. Of my penis in your vagina.” “…you lost me.”

Apartment 3-G – “Now, where were we, Gary?” “I was about to implement a search key of your data, Tommie.” “…you lost me.”

Argyle Sweater – Though he was ecstatic at the time, years later Mark would be felled by diabetes.

FOOB – Michael Patterson: the cure for shotacon.

Gasoline Alley – Speaking of the bible, I’m pretty sure there’s some hideous beasts mentioned in Revelations. Seriously, lady, people are trying to eat here.

Edishit Lee – Remember how the holodeck used to malfunction and all the guns would become real? I’m just sayin’.

Wizard of Id – If the government says that piece of paper is money, doesn’t that actually make it money?
papa zita
February 17th, 2009 at 9:27 am [Reply]

9CL: Is this all McEldowney can do, make insanely repetitive dick jokes? Out of the mouths of his least attractive characters? Some rough patch, this has lasted for months. Artists like Breathed quit when they got this dull.

Luann: Bailout joke. Meh.
kalki
February 17th, 2009 at 9:30 am [Reply]

9CL: Bach slow movement? Is that code for anal sex? Who receives? Who cares?

It strikes me that it has been…what, weeks?…since Juliette boarded what looked like a Japanese bullet train to join a hentai comic strip ( a dedicated hentai and not one that aspires to something more half-assed, like the one she left).

Archie: Well, Archie is used to having an explanation on hand for Veronica for occasions like not pulling out on time.

Beetle: Maybe they could have the men actually exercise to work off those calories in the mountains, desert, beach, arctic, or ocean that form the 5 points of Campy Swampy.

Blondie: And mailmen wonder why they never get tipped at Christmas.

Crank: How hard is it to take care of a house for a week? Unless, she has one of those old-fangled 1800s style houses where you have to stoke the coal furnaces in the basement every hour on the hour to keep the boilers going.

DTM: Nah. Dennis and Gina are offering sacrifices to the snow effigy of the surfing and tennis god John McEnroe Duke Kahanamoku, who will soon rise up and reek havoc on the neighborhood with his unquenchable bloodlust for grommets and arguing with line judges.

CircusJerk: I think Billy has realized that the food in the household will only last so long and it is now time to get rid of some of the competition for nourishment. I guess this means that Thel’s milkers have dried up, as up til now I suspect that she has been breastfeeding everybody in the house even at Bill and Billy’s advanced ages.

FW: “Hey, back off with the hands, buddy. I’m ‘Daddy’s Little Girl’…literally and figuratively.”

GA: “Yeah, bitch? Well, you remind me of Medusa…turning men rock hard from gazing at her…but not in a good way.”

Luann: Maybe they’ll get mistaken for pages and interns and have Congressmen try and fondle them. They better start handing out the pepper spray to the kids now.

S-M: Oh, dear lord…MJ wants sex, Aunt May is auditioning for a medic-alert service and Peter is in that rare zone of men, who look at other women and still get the crystal clear mental image of having walked in on their elderly aunts when they are douching in the unlocked bathroom at home.
Little Guy
February 17th, 2009 at 9:45 am [Reply]

FW: Is that some sibling variation of the English salute?

Frazz:Good luck on your trip to Boston, lady.
Islamorada Girl
February 17th, 2009 at 9:57 am [Reply]

WhooHoo! I’m riding the float! And in such good company! Excellent snark this week!
Thanks, Josh!
Morten
February 17th, 2009 at 10:20 am [Reply]

That was certainly a nice surprise, waking up and finding myself on the list. Thanks, Josh.
Uncle Ritzy Fritz
February 17th, 2009 at 10:25 am [Reply]

Congrats, huzzahs, etc. to all Floaters.

MT 2/17: I think Mark would be better off worrying less about Bucky and more about his horse; seems kinda pale to me. Maybe the coloring monkeys finally ran out of tanny-beige and beigey-tan, having used them up on Mark’s wardrobe for the last 70 or however many years.
Niall
February 17th, 2009 at 10:44 am [Reply]

Marmaduke: WHAT. THE. BLEEPING. HECK??

There were the aliens before. If they just shift to doing only strips like these, at least they’ll have some entertainment value!
Esther Blodgett
February 17th, 2009 at 10:54 am [Reply]

Marmaduke: AAAHHH! There’s a gremlin behind the chair!

MT: AAAHHH! Bucky’s been eaten by a giant squirrel!

S4th: AAAHHH! Aliens have kidnapped Ted!

A3G: AAAHHH! Oh…hi, Margo.
mojo
February 17th, 2009 at 10:57 am [Reply]

As much as I would like to take credit for hitching a ride on the float this week, I must instead give a big hand to Mary Worth. Her courage and fortitude in tackling internet dating and its potential pitfalls is a rare treat on the comics page. I look forward to her awkward, boring interactions with “Ted” for many weeks to come.

I’d also like to thank Dr. Jeff for, um, well, for just being an idiot. Thanks, Doc!
buckyswife
February 17th, 2009 at 11:07 am [Reply]

Congrats to all the COTW’ers–excellent stuff!

And 26 TrueFable: I was perplexed by the surfboard, too. My theory: Next summer, the Mitchells will tell Dennis that they’re going to teach him how to surf, put him out to sea with a bag of chum tied to the board, and let nature take its bloody, but happy, course. When the empty, somewhat chewed-up board washes up on the beach, they’ll know that they’re safe, and they’ll retire to a nearby beach cottage to celebrate, this time making sure to use a condom.
queek
February 17th, 2009 at 11:07 am [Reply]

9CL: o please tell me that they didn’t just allude to Bach-door action.

Tank: jaw droppingly WOW today. Disclaimer: I loathe the dead-baby-chewing Nancy Grace with a cold passion. To see her lampooned so wonderfully was amazing, and in TANK no less!

@ muffaroo, re our previous conversation on comic conventions, you really need to read today’s Cleats.
buckyswife
February 17th, 2009 at 11:11 am [Reply]

SM: It’s a good thing that Aunt May keeps her phone on the floor. Then again, that’s what tripped her in the first place.

MW: Mary is lost in her own reminiscences…. Yes, that triumphant time in her life when Dr. Jeff sought to pursue his own dreams, leaving her behind, and she seized upon the fortunate occasion of his deathly illness to force him back into her clutches…. Vietnam has a special place in her shriveled heart, too.

A3G: Nothing deflates a guy like Gary like the arrival of Margo. You can actually hear the “sigh” of the air escaping from his erection.
Winky's Spleen
February 17th, 2009 at 11:18 am [Reply]

To paraphrase Marge Simpson, 9 Chickweed Lane became a hardcore sex strip so gradually…
Calico
February 17th, 2009 at 11:18 am [Reply]

Ha, I love EnormousMatch.com!
I also esp. liked Joe Blevins’ comment about Tommie (above).

I have a nasty head cold and laughing out loud helps.

#50 – Ah, Nancy Grace, who perhaps could give Mary a run for her Meddlin’ money. Squawk!
tb4000
February 17th, 2009 at 11:22 am [Reply]

Damn, the way Ted is acting now, Sally is gonna fuck his brains out.
Calico
February 17th, 2009 at 11:29 am [Reply]

#29 – Good Lord, Marm is crazier than I thought.
Unless his kibble/stash of human bones are tainted with Ergot. Then I would kind of understand his behavior.
Krankenstein
February 17th, 2009 at 11:48 am [Reply]

SM:Given the level of superheroing usually shown in this strip, Parker’s next line should be “We’re sending help immediately, ~~Mrs. Fletcher~~ Aunt May.”.
Jen X
February 17th, 2009 at 11:49 am [Reply]

Okay, I happened to read this letter to the editor yesterday in one of my local papers. I thought of this site and some of Josh’s articles, and I just had to share it:

I have sorely been missing Marmaduke lately. He is the only cartoon character I consult. In my reading, Marmaduke precedes the editorials and opinion pieces. He puts everything into perspective.

Because, as far as I’ve noticed, you did not forewarn us of Marmaduke’s absence, I can only assume he has been on holiday or stuck somewhere because of the bus strike. I do hope he is not ill or otherwise indisposed.

Please assure us that Marmaduke will be back with us very soon. Only then will I once again sleep well. Thank you.

John Doig

Vanier

Also, the comics section of this paper (The Ottawa Sun, don’t judge me – it was the only thing to read at Subway) now includes a vampire comic. I may have to find it online and add it to my webcomic listing.
Jen X
February 17th, 2009 at 11:50 am [Reply]

Urgh, not enough coffee – apologies for the borked HTML.
Artist formerly known as Ben
February 17th, 2009 at 12:24 pm [Reply]

2/17

Congratulations to amateur and the other ~~overlooked Hal Hartley films~~ floatees. And “Better Zits” looks like a keeper. On to business

S-M: Ah, those Medic Alert commercials are a neverending source of humor, aren’t they. Here’s one for ya, Aunt May. Where’s the beef?

FW: I know we used up all the incest jokes when Darin was hooking up with lookalike girlfriend Jessica Darling. But seriously, dude, your hand should not take up permanent residence on Summer’s hip.

BB: All the privates except for Plato are downright skinny. Sarge is… not. His “cut the rations” order shows the kind of thinking that would get him fragged were they a combat unit.

Agnes: It tickles me that Abe Lincoln is on her list of the sexy and glamorous. Maybe Bob needs to get hisself a stovepipe hat.

BC: “Wonder what we’re gonna do with all this oil, since our only vehicles are granite unicycles.”

FC: Hey Billy, don’t play hard to get with your brother. Save it for the chicks when you get older… … … Oh, right. Sorry.

Garfield: Gotta admit, there’s some nice cartoon slapstick here.

PBS: And this is actually pretty heartwarming.

Shoe: It’s occurred to me that for all the talk about Shoe’s angry and grasping ex-wives, we’ve never seen any of them. So it’s entirely possible that he just has an elaborate and depressing fantasy life.

Popeye: A 300 year battery? Like so many supervillains, Sea Hag seems oblivious to how much money she could make within the law.

MT: Somehow I believe that Jack Elrod had good intentions, at least, in working in a domestic violence subplot. My faith has not been rewarded, thus far, resulting in a clueless and offensive storyline.

MW: Whoa whoa whoa! No more booze for Jeff here!

JP: Randy and Sam are talking business, forcing Abbey to postpone the Great Cleavage Unveiling.

RMMD: What? A novelist who spends her evenigns in constant drunken stupor? Who ever heard of that?

M-Dawg: Jeez, how many demons from Hell can fit in the Winslow’s house, anyway?

Luann: As we all know, dropping the word “bailout” into a conversation is an instant guarantee of high hilarity.

DT: What with her scarf always flying behind her, I’m starting to think that Angelorious’ grisly death will be incluenced by Isadora Duncan. (Also, thanks for the explanation of “perp.” Maybe next you can take on obscure terms like “handcuffs” and “squad car.”)

GT: Gil learns that Dylan is using all his best moves in the back of a Honda Civic. Oddly enough the knowledge turns Coach Thorp into a young Richard Benjamin.

A3G: Margo Magee. Indifferent party planner. Lousy gallery manager. As a pussyblocker, however, she is second to none.

Marvin: No, trust me Armstrong, this is carnage we can handle. In fact, we demand it.
commodorejohn
February 17th, 2009 at 12:25 pm [Reply]

A3G – What’s the female equivalent of “cock-blocked?” Because, yeah, Margo. I do love how she just barges in and demands food from the couple pulling out of a tend…um, bland embrace.

FC – Jeff, why do you do this? Why do you draw scenes like this? Why is Jeffy clutching his ass while Billy looks on smugly? Caption it however you want, we know what you were getting at. Are you just trying to bait C. Sandy Cyst?

FW – “Hey, folks! I was a teenager last time you saw me, now I’m twenty-seven with a receding hairline! Isn’t life in the Winkerverse great?”

GA – WOULD YOU JUST FUCKING FIRE HIM ALREADY

GT – “How many fingers am I holding up, me?”

JP – Oh, Baretto. Even stuck with Wilson as a writer, you manage to work things out in the end. We love you, man.

Love Is… – another bizarre fetish.

Luann – “Maybe we’ll see a senator!?” What do they think this is, a safari?

MT – Hmm, it’s been a while since we’ve seen the patented Mark Trail Enormous Facial Close-Up.

Marmaduke – “Marmaduke, no bringing lesser demons in the house! Bad dog!”

MW – Oh, look at poor Dr. Jeff and his soul-dead expression. And then look back at Mary looking at him, watching him to make sure he’s not about to run off to those God-forsaken foreign jungle on her again.

MC – Actually, it’s not the ones that freeze that you have to watch out for so much as the ones that inexplicably do their damnedest to stay in front of the car even when you’re trying to steer around them. Deer are strange. (Nit-picking aside, bwahaha!)

PBS – Aw.

Pluggers – Pluggers are too poor to repair their progressively disintegrating bodies, so they come up with cheap solutions that don’t actually work, but make them feel better. Ha ha!

RMMD – The Men in Black’s little-known counterpart, the Ladies in Lavender.

SF – Holy crap, way to go, Ted!

SM – Spider-Man, Spider-Man, does whatever LifeCall can…

Edison Lee – Hambrock just doesn’t have the faintest clue what Wall Street is, does he?
buckyswife
February 17th, 2009 at 12:34 pm [Reply]

59 Artist: While the slapstick timing is indeed pretty good here, the cat’s nasty bits are right in Jon’s face; are you sure that “nice” is the adjective you’re looking for?

SM: In an interesting casting decision, Willem Defoe will play Aunt May in the next Spiderman movie.
Fashion Police
February 17th, 2009 at 12:38 pm [Reply]

Pope Josh said (#129, yesterthread):

Baltimore is a pretty casual town.

(shakes head sadly) Aren’t they all…
A New Day
February 17th, 2009 at 12:40 pm [Reply]

Congratulations Amateur and all the COTWers. A fantastic way to break the gloom of a rainy Tuesday morning…
Artist formerly known as Ben
February 17th, 2009 at 12:42 pm [Reply]

#61 buckyswife,
Point taken. I guess “effective” is more what I was after.
Jay-El
February 17th, 2009 at 12:43 pm [Reply]

GT: I’m thinking Dylan’s play might have been adversely affected by those bushy eyebrows obscuring his vision (most easily seen in panel 3. He’s brushing them in panel 1.) Though Steve’s are just as big and didn’t seem to bother him so maybe it’s Dylan’s soul patch…
Fashion Police
February 17th, 2009 at 12:47 pm [Reply]

…And furthermore, it’s a sad, sad state of affairs that dressing nicely is a sure sign of villainy in Mary Worth. And they’re not even in Baltimore.

Even the good folks in Judge Parker have let their standards slip. It’s after 6 p.m.

What a world, what a world.
Les of the Jungle Patrol
February 17th, 2009 at 12:49 pm [Reply]

9CL: So now we’ve seen Amos’ O-face. I only hope this doesn’t set off a long series where every character gets a closeup of his or hers. When we get to Thorax and Grandma, I may have to blind myself. (Possibly through furious masturbation, we’ll see.)
buckyswife
February 17th, 2009 at 12:50 pm [Reply]

64 Artist–Yes, I figured…. I think I just got carried away by the squickiness factor of the image. (Didn’t mean to imply that you actually found human-face to feline-genital contact “nice”! Not that there’s anything wrong with that….)
Niall
February 17th, 2009 at 12:52 pm [Reply]

35. gleeb: on Pluggers: Next he’ll be seen roaming the streets, yelling “She’s a chicken! A giant chicken I tell you!!”

57-58 Jen X: Woohoo, another Ottawa mudge! :) Welcome! (I figured it out as soon as I saw “bus strike”.) And yeah, Subway or a shawarma shop are the only places I’ll read the Sun. I tend to skip the letters though. Maybe I shouldn’t.

59. Artist: The Garfield “joke” might have been okay if, the very day preceding, it hadn’t shown Garfield not moving at all when the phone rang. You can’t make those opposite jokes next to each other.
mollificent
February 17th, 2009 at 1:05 pm [Reply]

H&J: Kill, kill, KILL!!!
(Sorry, guys…just heard that joke once or twice or TWO FRIGGING MILLION TIMES too often. *eyeroll*)

I must repeat my mantra…I WILL not read 9CL…I will not…I will not…even in the face of extreme provocation (dying to know what this Bach-door action is all about ;)). A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step, etc, blah blah.

Oh, and re: bad harp jokes: About six years ago (I can’t believe I’m admitting this) I sent Brooke M. a disgustingly fawning email saying how much I loved his strip, etc. etc., and asking if he’d ever do a music strip involving a harp (this was around the time of some of his really gorgeous visual strips, involving violas, etc., and I thought the flowing lines of the harp would work gorgeously…also, cats + broken harp strings = comedy gold). He sent a nice reply and said he’d try his best. Now I’m glad he didn’t.

Sigh.
Sequitur
February 17th, 2009 at 1:09 pm [Reply]

JP: Just what is the purpose of that third panel? Is Abbey how the word gets around fast? I bet she’s fast!
Niall
February 17th, 2009 at 1:22 pm [Reply]

70. mollificent: I had to check H&J.. and yeek. What does it say that I had never once associated that verb with the instrument, much less think of that pun? …other than I don’t have the right stuff to make it as a synidcated cartoonist writer…
buckyswife
February 17th, 2009 at 1:26 pm [Reply]

JP: I’m trying to figure out just what kind of party this is, with nobody carrying drinks or food or anything. If only non-Judge Parker would bring the ice already!
Poteet
February 17th, 2009 at 1:42 pm [Reply]

# 70 mollificent — I applaud your courage and determination. Yay! You rock!

But just remember, if you do somehow end up reading 9CL again, it will not be because you failed. It will be because you considered the issue rationally and objectively, and deliberately changed your mind.

(This useful rationalization brought to you free, courtesy of Chocolate, the Great Tempter.)
Krankenstein
February 17th, 2009 at 1:58 pm [Reply]

69 Niall: Count another Ottawa curmudgeon here. I wonder if 3 of us makes for disproportionate representation? Must be the town that brings out the snark in us.
seismic-2
February 17th, 2009 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

A3G: Today’s English-language version of the strip has been mis-interpreted from whatever language in which it was originally written. The version in my paper says, “Hello, Margo. Goodbye, romance.” Surely that should have been, “reason to live”.

Garfield: Today’s strip, trite as it was, actually made me laugh. Out loud. On the same day that Ted Forth grows a spine. The universe is changing all around us, I can feel it. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

9CL: As a result of his and Edda’s “slow movement”, Amos now leaps onto the stage, arms held high and legs spread wide apart, with lipstick all over his face and semen all over the front of his trousers. And the applause is thunderous. Isn’t it about time to change the name of this strip to, “Those Wacky Belgians!“?

GT: Although he tries to hide it in the first panel, the reason for Dylan’s poor play is that his eyeballs have been devoured by woolly-bear caterpillars. In the third panel we see that the outbreak has spread throughout the team bus. Word to the wise – bet against Milford. You heard it here first.

PBS: How come Larry talks like sniff an illiterate moron from sniff sniff some othr plabet, and his sonn tks lik… sorry, haveing troubl typigg, somjthmg in my eye… dimn caterpikkars, yeah tthak’s it…
Muffaroo
February 17th, 2009 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

Blondie – Here’s the flip side to the mall full of happy zombies in Suburban Hell. Nobody’s happy, but they’re showing that they’re capable of spontaneous emotions.

C2Home – I tried to guess the caption of this one today. Best i could do was “Ned’s computer couldn’t deal with the shock the day 9 Chickweed Lane actually moved on to a new storyline that wasn’t about Amos and his Magic Piccolo.”

Curtis – If Curtis’s mom believes he really dusted the entire apartment, the chameleon probably has the ability to cloud minds as well.

FCircus – “Mommy! Billy owes me a dollar, and my ass hurts!”

FBasset – I hear they’ve published The Collected Punch Lines of Fred Basset. It covers the entire run, and there’s also a bunch of recipes and stuff to pad it out to 48 pages.

Gfield – “Can’t talk now. Cat raping face.”

HtHorrible – Can it be? Are we once again privileged to witness a Viking in a situation that is inappropriate?

JParker – Hey! She has breasts!
Niall
February 17th, 2009 at 2:02 pm [Reply]

75. Krankenstein: welcome! There’s at least one more (nerowolfgal), and to be fair, my snark is weak and my humour forced, but my chocolate is strong, which pardons many sins. :)
fillmoreeast
February 17th, 2009 at 2:03 pm [Reply]

77: Gfield – “Can’t talk now. Cat raping face.”

Wow, only Tuesday and I think CotW for this week is all sewn up. I think I just hurt myself.
Muffaroo
February 17th, 2009 at 2:03 pm [Reply]

Luann – Bailout! Hey, it’s a totally topical reference to that thing where some businesses get bailed out! That’s like, torn from the pages of a fairly recent newspaper.

MFmore – I smiled when I read this, because I’m listening to a podcast of Cal Stewart’s “Uncle Josh” records at the same time.

Mduke – Seriously, I prefer the wording, “Why don’t you and your imaginary friend fuck off?”

MWorth – “Vietnam? I’ve wanted to go there for some time! I haven’t had the opportunity yet!” “Well, never mind. I was just checking to make sure you aren’t Adrian’s brother in a clumsy disguise.”

My Cage – We saw a half dozen deer in someone’s yard when we drove home last night. Okay, that’s your glimpse into my life for the day.

NSeq – Totally nonsensical, but… well, at least it’s nominally topical, the same way a jumprope can be hi-fi.

PCity – Stump speech, ha ha.

R=R – Are you sure that’s not your “Act like a moron” tree? They look a lot alike.

S-Man – If this is taking place thirty years ago, Aunt May should copyright that phrase. It could be the next “Well, excu-u-u-use me!” [Blame Mibbitmaker: I had to change my comment after reading 28 et seq.]

Ziggy – Regretfully, the letterer was way too careful to be sure that the U and I in “Slick” didn’t run together.

Zippy – Mock this man if you will. In my world, he is a giant!

queek @50 – Aha! I found it. Thank you. I hesitate to ask, but is this strip entirely about shoes? (I sort of like Tank McNamara, by at least part of the same team, but my favorite sports cartoon — okay, apart from “Billy the Fish,” which only shows up a couple times a year if I’m lucky — has always been “In the Bleachers,” which is even respectable without awarding it a handicap for trying to be funny about sports every day.)

Discussion Questions – I’ve been giving some thought to how Trudeau should represent Obama in his strip. I’m thinking a Band-Aid would be appropriate.

In other news, I avoided making the Dubya joke in re Mary Worth. Medal of Freedom for Me!
Uncle Lumpy
February 17th, 2009 at 2:03 pm [Reply]

#70 mollificent; #74 Poteet –

After Föoberdämmerung, 9CL became the leading “love to hate it” strip . If it keeps pushing Amos ‘n’ Edda at us like this, it will challenge Foob’s dominance of the “oh my God not more of this tiresome crap!” category.
Sarah
February 17th, 2009 at 2:04 pm [Reply]

Why must I be obsessive and point out that it is a cross on the Bible, and not a crucifix? I see no dangling Jesus.

Still, good show, everyone.
Anonymous
February 17th, 2009 at 2:08 pm [Reply]

80. Muffaroo: is that “Uncle Josh” as in “Uncle Josh in the Department Store”?
Jumper
February 17th, 2009 at 2:08 pm [Reply]

It is unfathomable, or at least vaguely shameful, the emboldening effect “runner-up” status has on the morale of an unemployed internet junkie, who sits sadly and unkemptly among empty beer bottles and surrounded by a miasma of failure, his novel still neglected and time running out. So thank you, Sir.

Nevertheless, I am beating myself for missing the obvious Blade Runner gag, waiting unplucked, from Ted’s “I’ve seen things you wouldn’t believe.”
buckyswife
February 17th, 2009 at 2:11 pm [Reply]

#80 Muffaroo and others–When is Spiderman supposed to be taking place? Because Peter answers a cell phone today–so it’s not way back in the past, right?
Niall
February 17th, 2009 at 2:11 pm [Reply]

77. Muffaroo: FBassett: Don’t you mean 4.8 pages? I mean, those recipes can fill a good four pages all on their own.

80. Muffaroo: I can’t see “Well excuuuuse me” without adding “Princess” to the end. Sigh. Curse you, YouTube.

Blondie: If one’s savings have dwindled, I don’t know how many would say “how much“; that’s usually reserved for higher-than-expected figures. Weirdly enough, no one will ever spontaneously cry out “how little??” despite the fact it’s quite correct. They just go for “What??” in various degrees of profanity. Meanwhile, having distracted everyone, the mail carrier happily walks towards his latest victim’s house to empty it of what little valuables are left. I mean, the direction he’s going echoes the direction of the mailbox at front bottom, which is always next to a garage entranceway, not a sidewalk…
queek
February 17th, 2009 at 2:15 pm [Reply]

snark part two, the dead tree version.

A&J. the naughty continues.

JP: o MY!

PBS: awwwwwwwwwwww^2

Lio: clever, icky and funny all at once. Well done!

BB: ummm, Sarge? A company is 70 to 200 men, and a deuce-and-a-half can carry 20 or so like that. You seem to be missing a few men.
MaryAnnTheRest
February 17th, 2009 at 2:15 pm [Reply]

Some of the best COTWs ever this week! It’s like a Golden Era!
Krankenstein
February 17th, 2009 at 2:18 pm [Reply]

78 Niall: I too have weak snark, limiting myself to feeble one liners. At one time I considered writing a Dingo-style comment regarding Mark Trail figuring out he was the star of his comic (and hence, invulnerable) and going on a rampage of savage justice, involving miscreants been eaten alive by pigs and bearded men being force-fed shotguns (this was during the dognapping ‘arc’). Alas, my skills just weren’t up to the job. I compensate by cooking delicious comfort food (or so I’m told).
queek
February 17th, 2009 at 2:22 pm [Reply]

Muffaroo @80: Cleats is usually about suburban kids playing soccer and their long-suffering parents.(another poster often refers to it as “Tank McNamera’s Muppet Babies” or phrases to that effect) but branches out in odd directions at times. The conversations between sports equipment can be amusing, and the annual Halloween game between the Monsters and Space Aliens is inspired. It also features Abby, the only kid on the funny pages with more hair than Jazmine from Boondocks
Poteet
February 17th, 2009 at 2:24 pm [Reply]

# 89 Krankenstein — Delicious comfort food?

Where do you live? Are you home now?
Captain Insano
February 17th, 2009 at 2:24 pm [Reply]

CURSES! Foiled again . . .
Tacy
February 17th, 2009 at 2:33 pm [Reply]

#85 buckyswife – no. There was a narration box in Sunday’s strip which read “the big blackout of 2009″. Spider-Man has apparently jumped back to the present in the same way Funky Winkerbean jumped forward to the present.
buckyswife
February 17th, 2009 at 2:36 pm [Reply]

93 Tacy–Thanks, yes, I remember that now.
buckyswife
February 17th, 2009 at 2:39 pm [Reply]

#89 Krankenstein: I don’t know about the snark, but your plot synopsis sounds damned skillful! Miscreant-eating pigs? That’s a narrative element far superior to wife-beating husbands.
Niall
February 17th, 2009 at 2:41 pm [Reply]

89. Krankenstein: Hmm. If we do an Ottawa meet-up, you could bring the main dish, I could bring dessert. :) Poteet, we’re in Canada…
UncleJeff
February 17th, 2009 at 2:43 pm [Reply]

Love Is — Is this supposed to be some kind of allegory about the key to the cell door down at the old greybar if you tap the little naked girl?
Niall
February 17th, 2009 at 2:43 pm [Reply]

95. buckyswife: Sadly, that doesn’t mean much, as even Electro’s plated junk is a narrative element far superior to wife-beating husbands.
Angry Kem
February 17th, 2009 at 2:54 pm [Reply]

#84 Jumper: I did that one yesterday. I even made a picture.
Artist formerly known as Ben
February 17th, 2009 at 2:58 pm [Reply]

#68 buckyswife,
Any response I made now would be both vulgar and obvious. Not that there’s anything wrong with that but I’m probably reaching my quota for the day.
Phred22
February 17th, 2009 at 3:02 pm [Reply]

S-M: Next we’ll cut to MJ thinking, Darn and right after that cute neighbor tipped me to Taster’s Choice.
Krankenstein
February 17th, 2009 at 4:08 pm [Reply]

#95 buckyswife: To be honest, I’m kind of enjoying the current plot in MT. Not the wife-beating, deer-killing part: this strip if way too ham-fisted to inspire anything but derision on that front. No, I’m enjoying Patty’s goggle-eyed expressions. She looks like she’s about to go completely walleyed crazy the next time anybody so much as farts. It’s like watching Reefer Madness, Mark Trail edition.
Muffaroo
February 17th, 2009 at 5:36 pm [Reply]

Anon @83 – I believe… wait. I reckon that would be the same Uncle Josh. A smalltown rube that laughs at his own jokes. I first heard him on a cylinder at a museum, which they let me mess with. It’s like the copy of “No News, or, What Killed the Dog” that James Thurber describes, that they listened to so much that the needle doesn’t advance in the grooves, but stays in its location, playing the same phrase over and over. I kept steady finger pressure on the needle to hear the whole thing.

I’ve since found a regular trove of them at archive.org, including “Uncle Josh at the Bug House,” the one I heard that day in 1975. There are also books, there are silent movies at the Library of Congress’s “American Memory” site, and his mythical town of Punkin Center has had its name used by real towns since — there’s one in Colorado that I know of, and I don’t think it’s the only one.

buckyswife @85 – Okay, you found the flaw in my otherwise brilliant comment. There’s a special award waiting for you in that dark alley over there! (mutter, mutter)

Niall @86 – Well, I calibrate these things rather finely. I rejected “64 pages” and went for 48. I figure recipes can fill up a lot of space, but didn’t want to overdo it.

queek @90 – I miss Eyebeam. His girlfriend had hair that extended outside the panel. We never saw its true extent. It was a good strip in many ways, including its early condemnation of lousy Rod Serling imitators.
mollificent
February 17th, 2009 at 10:39 pm [Reply]

I’ll jump on the “weak snark, but mad compensatory skillz” bandwagon. My superpower is not culinary (far from it!) but instead is the ability to musically interpret the snark of others in a pleasing fashion. :)

I do bake good cookies, though.

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