A peek behind the scenes
Judge Parker, 3/21/05
“But seriously, Josh,” I hear you asking, “What’s been happening in Judge Parker for the past month?” Well, I’ll tell you: a whole lot of nothing (or, as they say in the strip’s current south-of-the-border locale, nada). Sam has arrived in Mexico, spoken with Gloria, and gone back with this priest to his church. That’s taken something like five weeks. It makes Mary Worth look like a Jerry Bruckheimer movie. The strip is so parched for excitement that an entirely gratuitous exclamation point has been added to the first panel’s exposition in an attempt to make the “short drive out of town” sound like some kind of adrenaline-fueled car chase sequence.
That being said, I’m kind of intrigued by the underlying religio-cultural tensions in today’s dialog between Sam and Father David. To that end, I’d like to introduce what could (if I feel like it) become the first installment of an occasional feature: What They Say and What They Mean.
| What he says | What he means | |
| Sam | “What a beautiful church … and in such good shape!” | I didn’t think you filthy Mexicans were capable of keeping anything clean for more than hour, let alone maintain actual non-shanty buildings. |
| David | “Thanks! Its first mass was performed in 1522!” | That’s only three years after Cortez got here! We sure didn’t waste any time with that whole elimination of native cultures routine. |
| Sam | “If only these walls could talk!” | You’ve probably got some kind of animatronic talking saint diorama set up to bilk your feeble-minded papist parishioners, eh Padre? |
| David | “They do! Follow me … the mission house is in the back!” | That’s where I do all my altar-boy-cornholing. Watch your back, gringo! |
Um … OK, so that was in poor taste. Watch this space for a future installment of What They Say and What They Mean, assuming I’m not fleeing for my life from the combined forces of the Jesuits and the federales.
FormerAltarBoy
March 21st, 2005 at 10:29 pm
Your take on this one leaves me speechless (great job)
lemonface
March 21st, 2005 at 10:41 pm
I am incapable of mustering the energy to even try to follow Judge Parker. The other serials are amusing or interesting for varying reasons, but this one bores me to tears. After attempting to read it for about a month now, I still have no idea who Judge Parker is, or who any of the characters are for that matter, and what their purpose is on this sphere.
It is interesting, though, that the “padre” is clearly trying to hide an erection in the second panel. Johnny Hart must be turning over in his grave.
Also, today’s Spider-Man is EXACTLY the same as yesterday’s. At least the Mary Worth characters move around to different locations, and word their phrases differently.
King Of All Paperboys
March 21st, 2005 at 10:58 pm
Irrelevant note: I actually have a friend, who is a judge, named Parker. I enjoy taunting him about this strip. It amuses me.
Francois Mitterand
March 21st, 2005 at 11:21 pm
At some point we should pause and consider the astonishing stereotyping Judge Parker has inflicted on Mexico over the past month. Greasy fat cops, corrupt lawyers and the sanctuary of an American mission priest…
Dave
March 22nd, 2005 at 12:13 am
Okay, one time commenter before this. One word: FANTASTIC.
You do realize that now you’ve basically promised everyone you’ll do this – you HAVE to.
Bookworm
March 22nd, 2005 at 12:24 am
This is probably irrelevant, but Sam and David are the names of the Ingalls’ horses in the Little House books.
Flasshe
March 22nd, 2005 at 12:25 am
Too bad it’s never MTV Spring Break in Judge Parker’s Mexico.
Dr. Mabuse
March 22nd, 2005 at 1:48 am
Padre looks like a young Donald Rumsfeld.
With a wicked bon-ah.
Mission house in the back, indeed.
Laen
March 22nd, 2005 at 2:09 am
Holy cow, is that Steven Colbert?
Kristen
March 22nd, 2005 at 2:10 am
Oohhh! Oh! In Sally Forth today they are talking about the smirk! YES!
Mark Kawakami
March 22nd, 2005 at 3:04 am
Josh, that’s really, really wrong.
Hilarious, but wrong. You are bad and I chastise you publicly. (Southern California residents might catch the reference)
Sokudo
March 22nd, 2005 at 3:15 am
Wow. Where are my heart-rippin’ ancestors when you need them. Expell the foreign barbarians! Sacrifices all around!
spiderbaby
March 22nd, 2005 at 7:20 am
Regarding today’s FBoFW, does anyone know what a foob is?
Jiggles
March 22nd, 2005 at 8:46 am
Maybe they’ll break into that old Jack Benny/Mel Blanc routine:
Can I sit here?
Si.
What’s your name?
Sy.
Sy?
Si.
Is she your sister?
Si.
What’s her name?
Sue.
Sue?
Si.
What does she do?
Sew.
OK, maybe that’s extremely unlikely.
Woodstock
March 22nd, 2005 at 8:48 am
Come on spiderbabeeee! Think back to other Lynn slang make-ups. It’s the cross between the fool and the boob! Everybody in Lynn’s head knows that. I’m saddened that I can remember that. Actual useful facts have fled because I know that.
Great work on the Judge Parker today. I laughed myself silly.
WoodrowFan
March 22nd, 2005 at 9:30 am
Meanwhile the Priest is worrying because he heard some Doctor’s dog and an unemployed grad student had discovered the Mission’s secret Indian burial ground.
Irina
March 22nd, 2005 at 9:55 am
Lemonface, I missed your question … shoulda posted my question to this thread instead of yesterday’s FBOFW.
Had a similar question about Spiderman vis a vis Sunday and Monday’s near beating of an innocent actor …
JohnnyC
March 22nd, 2005 at 10:13 am
Since the episode is in Mexico, wouldn’t it be altar-boy MAIZEholing?
Jess
March 22nd, 2005 at 10:54 am
I used to HATE the comics, until I started reading this blog. Now I’m hooked. I blame you for my current Mary Worth obsession… speaking of, did you see today’s Mary Worth? There’s an inkling of action or excitement there! Why is Anna going UGH and heading toward what vaguely seems to be the bathroom?? THE SUSPENSE!
Stephanie
March 22nd, 2005 at 11:11 am
I think that the “Padre” is actually Giles from Buffy in disguise. He is on a secret mission in Mexico to save the unsuspecting Catholics from muy evil vampiros. Which also gives me more evidance for my Judge Parker is the Anti-Christ file.
fuzzmaster
March 22nd, 2005 at 12:11 pm
Re today’s FBoFW: That “Foob Foob Hottie” line keeps pounding in my head.
Foob-foob-hottie; foob-foob-hottie
Lady you’re a gig make a big noise
Playin’ in the street gonna be a grade 12 some day
Hangin’ high on yo’ case
You big disgrace
Hands-on, been there all over the place
You are you are roadside!
You are you are roadside!
Brucker
March 22nd, 2005 at 1:01 pm
Didn’t anyone read what Kristen said?! Today’s “Sally Forth” was the funniest ***EVER***!!!! And you only need two lines…
First panel caption: “Several years ago…”
Punchline by Ted: “I see. And will you be making that smirk for the rest of our lives?”
Nothing else need ever be said in that strip.
Burnsy
March 22nd, 2005 at 1:04 pm
A day late, but what the hell was going on with BC yesterday? (sorry, I don’t know how to hyperlink: http://www.comics.com/creators/bc/archive/bc-20050321.html)
Is it my imagination or was it implied that the separation of church and state is a threat to the United States Postal Service?
Anne Nonymous
March 22nd, 2005 at 1:09 pm
fuzzmaster, that was great! I think I love you.
The Lord
March 22nd, 2005 at 1:10 pm
You people will all burn in hell for your attitude about religion and the church.
Brucker
March 22nd, 2005 at 1:23 pm
I have no idea what that B.C. means. Obviously, Hart’s trying to make some sort of deep philosophical commentary on society, but instead makes gibberish.
http://www.comics.com/creators/bc/archive/bc-20050321.html (Put a space before the parenthesis.)
On a nother humorous point for longtime readers here, today’s “Zippy the Pinhead” had Zippy speaking the punchline, “I’m a certified roadside crisis counselor!!” Apparently, he’s been helping girls like Mim work through their problems.
Last thought… Check out June’s face in the last panel of today’s “Rex Morgan”. If the look she gave Buck on the 18th (not to mention her line on the 19th: “Where is this dig of yours, Buck? I’d like to see it!”) wasn’t enough to convince you… Sheesh! She’s totally gonna jump that archeologist’s bones as soon as she manages to get rid of Frank.
daChipster
March 22nd, 2005 at 1:26 pm
That “foob” bothered me, too. The only connection I could get was short for “FUBAR?”
and fuzzmaster: props, dude. Yesterday I did a Mary Worth Shakespearean sonnet in perfect iambic pentameter, but you! You ROCK!
daChipster
March 22nd, 2005 at 1:31 pm
as for B.C. I HATE it when cartoonists can’t even keep their mise en scène straight.
First panel: “Who shall separate us from the love of Christ?”
HellOOOOOoooo – you’re “B.C.,” stupid. “BEFORE Christ!”
RememberByronFrost
March 22nd, 2005 at 2:44 pm
Maybe he’s supposed to be pyschic?
Nik
March 22nd, 2005 at 3:48 pm
Today’s Blondie really freaks me out. Who is that creepy man and why does he want Dagwood’s Web site? The strip feels frighteningly autobiographical, there’s terror in between the panels today.
Islamorada Girl
March 22nd, 2005 at 4:15 pm
Apropos of nothing, Sam and Dave were also classic soul singers, although I doubt the guys in Judge Parker even have a soul.
Note the classic David Caruso/ CSI Miami stance Sam is taking in the last panel. As if we needed any more reason to feel utter contempt for him.
Juli
March 22nd, 2005 at 5:53 pm
Is it necesary to have an exclaimation point at the end of EVERY sentence?
Plus, imagine that the dialogue sounds like that of a teenage girl or airhead.
spiderbaby
March 23rd, 2005 at 1:08 am
*thanks woodstock.*
*bows to fuzzmaster.*
Clearly, I have much to learn.
Zipper the mule
March 23rd, 2005 at 9:33 pm
More blasphemy mule!
Jay Nickola
March 23rd, 2005 at 11:28 pm
“Johnny Hart must be turning over in his grave.”
What? Johnny Hart’s dead? Then who keeps drawing this crap in my newspaper?
judgeluvuh
May 6th, 2005 at 12:24 pm
Conjure up a little faith, people! And BEWARE! If’n you get a little lazy, jez cuz you think the Judge seems a wee bit slow right now, y’all makin y’selvz vernrubble 4 the La Doo/Wilson ONE-TOO! Don’t get suckuh-punched, suckuhs!