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Mary Worth, 3/22/05

I’ve read the comics obsessively for a long time, so I think I can say with some authority that one thing you very rarely see depicted in the funny pages is someone holding a hand to his or her mouth in order to prevent vomit from getting on the rug. It’s even rarer that said vomit is the herald of good news, as Anna’s barf clearly is meant to be. Given the stately and deliberate pace of this strip, I expect at least two or three days of Mrs. Dr. Brian on her knees bowing before the porcelain god, her body giving rapturous thanks for the precious new life germinating in her hitherto barren womb by desperately trying to expel last night’s dinner into the Santa Royale municipal sewer system. I’m particularly looking forward to seeing how the sound effects are transliterated. Hopefully she’ll just drop the phone to the floor as she dashes into the bathroom to hurl, so we’ll get some more of Mary’s nonverbal bafflement indicators as well.

Mary Worth isn’t just entertaining; it’s also a message strip. And today it’s clear what the message of this storyline is: if you refuse to deal with a problem long enough, it will eventually solve itself.