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Behold, I bring you tidings of great joy, via puking

Mary Worth, 3/22/05

I’ve read the comics obsessively for a long time, so I think I can say with some authority that one thing you very rarely see depicted in the funny pages is someone holding a hand to his or her mouth in order to prevent vomit from getting on the rug. It’s even rarer that said vomit is the herald of good news, as Anna’s barf clearly is meant to be. Given the stately and deliberate pace of this strip, I expect at least two or three days of Mrs. Dr. Brian on her knees bowing before the porcelain god, her body giving rapturous thanks for the precious new life germinating in her hitherto barren womb by desperately trying to expel last night’s dinner into the Santa Royale municipal sewer system. I’m particularly looking forward to seeing how the sound effects are transliterated. Hopefully she’ll just drop the phone to the floor as she dashes into the bathroom to hurl, so we’ll get some more of Mary’s nonverbal bafflement indicators as well.

Mary Worth isn’t just entertaining; it’s also a message strip. And today it’s clear what the message of this storyline is: if you refuse to deal with a problem long enough, it will eventually solve itself.

39 responses to “Behold, I bring you tidings of great joy, via puking”

  1. Evil Mary
    March 23rd, 2005 at 1:19 am [Reply]

    I’m sensing a “Rosmary’s Baby” scenario coming up. I’ve always thought Mary is very much like Minnie Castevetand. Last week while naive Anna was confessing her fertility woes to Mary in the kitchen, in the room next to them, Dr. Good and Jeff were discussing their diobolic plans for Satan’s unborn child.

    Mark my words, Mary and Jeff will be very involved in this woman’s pregnancy.

  2. LemonPepper
    March 23rd, 2005 at 1:29 am [Reply]

    Notice in the second panel the question mark coming out of the phone. As we all know, the telephone is a means of transporting sound– speech, primarily. Hence the name of the object tele- (distance) and -phone (sound). The Question Mark, “?,” denoting confusion or perplexion, does not carry with it a spoken phoneme. (As would, “Wha?” or “Huh?” or “Why did you choke back vomit just now?”)
        It is thus the logical conclusion that the phone is the source of the question mark. I believe it may referrence a short circuit or malfunction of some kind, which would cause many electronic devices to be confused. Though without the means to express their emotions verbally, there would be no vocal accompaniment.
        Another possible conclusion is that the phone is worried that it it may get some ralf splattered on it in the moments to come (stomach acid is bad for circuitry), and is questioning its will to exist… Perhaps the same way Hi questions his existence when Lois forces him to re-eat the hot sauce that was fed to him earlier at knife-point.
        Good Day.

  3. arto
    March 23rd, 2005 at 4:21 am [Reply]

    Clearly, Mary Worth’s once razor sharp grasp of 60′s garage rock trivia has been eaten away by the Great Devourer, Time, and she was merely trying to remember the name of the Mysterian’s lead singer.

  4. Islamorada Girl
    March 23rd, 2005 at 5:59 am [Reply]

    This is the first time I can ever remember an actual toilet making an appearance in a soap strip. And not just any old toilet, but a vintage 70′s toilet in a lovely shade of Harvest Gold! No wonder Airhead Anna feels sick!

  5. Curious George
    March 23rd, 2005 at 6:55 am [Reply]

    So who would you get to play Mary Worth in the live action movie of the same name?

    There’s only one standout, in my opinion, and that’s the evergreen Angela Lansbury

  6. Dub Not Dubya
    March 23rd, 2005 at 7:03 am [Reply]

    Yes, and the subtitle of the live action movie can be, “Meddling, She Wrote.”

  7. Honey
    March 23rd, 2005 at 7:12 am [Reply]

    ” if you refuse to deal with a problem long enough, it will eventually solve itself.”

    Unfortunately, this is not always true.. if it were, I’d be a lot better off.

  8. Joe
    March 23rd, 2005 at 8:11 am [Reply]

    So her whole ‘infertility problem’ was psychosomatic…maybe the good doctor gave her some sugar ‘fertility’ pills and she overcame her ‘problem’.

    Either that or she rubbed the belly of that fat buddah on the shelf behind her for luck.

  9. Jerpark
    March 23rd, 2005 at 8:31 am [Reply]

    What’s that in the glass bowl? A unicorn? More symbolism!

  10. Monkeys Uncle
    March 23rd, 2005 at 8:55 am [Reply]

    It looks to me like her Gelvalia(tm) hazelnut ladybug crunch coffe is comming back for an encore. Darkly brooding over a cup of coffe is bad for the digestion. So she will probably finally get around to telling Dr. Brian that her womb is a barren place where his seed can find no purchase. All the time not knowing she is knocked up. Dr. Brian will storm off in disgust and rut around with some cheap floozies, bringing yet more tears and woe to all. Mary of course will sit by nursing the sweet fruits of her evil meddeling.

  11. Islamorada Girl
    March 23rd, 2005 at 9:08 am [Reply]

    Ah. meddling. Sweet, sweet meddling.
    (with apologies to Homer Simpson)

  12. RememberByronFrost
    March 23rd, 2005 at 9:31 am [Reply]

    Ah. Mary’s nonverbal bafflement indicators… the stuff of life itself

  13. Pookie
    March 23rd, 2005 at 10:17 am [Reply]

    Thanks to Evil Mary’s diabolical observations, I will now and forever read Mary Worth’s voice as sounding just like Ruth Gordon as Minnie Castavet. If this isn’t a job for St. Chree, I don’t know what is.
    Have a little tannis root, Anna!

  14. Zipper the mule
    March 23rd, 2005 at 10:39 am [Reply]

    Don’t you think it’s more likely that the pregancy will be psychosomatic? [I can't spell.] You know, faux? Then she’s gonna go to a doctor and told, “Hey, there’s no fetus in there.” And Anna’s gonna flip out and go weird. [you know, weirder than she already is].

    this is a rather shallow aside, but I find Anna one of the least attractive women in the comics pages. I think it’s the hair.

  15. JohnnyC
    March 23rd, 2005 at 10:48 am [Reply]

    Pschosomatic? Like, gas? No! Dr. Brian will flaunt his organ, saying “you think this is a gas-pipe?”

  16. King Of All Paperboys
    March 23rd, 2005 at 10:52 am [Reply]

    Maybe Anna will snap and become one of those baby-stealing nutjobs who haunts the maternity ward, looking to snatch a newborn.

    That would be cool. I’d read that.

  17. RememberByronFrost
    March 23rd, 2005 at 11:25 am [Reply]

    Sadly, Meddling Mary would slip Anna some tannis root to render her unconscious before allowing that to happen. After Anna passes out Mary will fill an entire panel with her nonverbal bafflement indicators:
    ????????????????????????????????????

  18. TJ
    March 23rd, 2005 at 11:27 am [Reply]

    Hold on a sec. Weren’t they just in Vegas about 3 days ago on the honeymoon? I mean yeah, it’s been about a month or two in comics time, but that couldn’t be more than a week, can it? They were in Vegas…then drinking ketchup at Mary’s apartment…then back at home. That’s a week tops. No way she’s got morning sickness yet. I think it was the ketchup binge.

  19. Mogen David
    March 23rd, 2005 at 12:03 pm [Reply]

    That happens to me every time I binge on ketchup out of wine glasses too.

  20. CBrachyrhynchos
    March 23rd, 2005 at 12:16 pm [Reply]

    I’m starting to feel like the great Criswell here. Watch for her happiness to be cemented by the realization that her ex-husband was shooting blanks.

  21. Eric J
    March 23rd, 2005 at 12:25 pm [Reply]

    Thank god. When I saw the summary in the RSS feed, I thought it was going to be Cathy.

  22. X. Pecting
    March 23rd, 2005 at 12:56 pm [Reply]

    Excuse me Mary, I feel a wave of nausea and I really have to foob.

  23. Kim
    March 23rd, 2005 at 1:04 pm [Reply]

    Does anyone else find it odd that Anna’s sort of holding her hand *adjacent* to her mouth, not really over it? As if she’s going to give a holla?

    And why draw all her fingers in such carefully misplaced detail, anyway? Hands are hard!

  24. Hubris
    March 23rd, 2005 at 2:52 pm [Reply]

    Given the stately and deliberate pace of this strip, I expect at least two or three days of Mrs. Dr. Brian on her knees bowing before the porcelain god, her body giving rapturous thanks for the precious new life germinating in her hitherto barren womb by desperately trying to expel last night’s dinner into the Santa Royale municipal sewer system. I’m particularly looking forward to seeing how the sound effects are transliterated. Hopefully she’ll just drop the phone to the floor as she dashes into the bathroom to hurl, so we’ll get some more of Mary’s nonverbal bafflement indicators as well.

    Sorry for the long clip, but I just wanted to say that you really had a great piece of writing there. I won’t try to one up it with my own funny.

  25. Moesy
    March 23rd, 2005 at 3:33 pm [Reply]

    Unfourtunatly, we DIDN’T get to see Anna puke today. In fact, she’s already barfed, flushed, cleaned-up and re-dialed Nosey Mary’s number in less than one real time day. What is going on here?!?!

  26. ca
    March 23rd, 2005 at 3:39 pm [Reply]

    Yes, TJ! I was wondering that myself. I also calculated a week tops. Unless there was some serious behind-the-scenes “roadside gig” action when I wasn’t looking.

    Or maybe she’s just got the flu.

  27. Andy L.
    March 23rd, 2005 at 6:36 pm [Reply]

    Good thing that miniature unicorn is in a glass bowl. You wouldn’t want it having free run of the apartment.

  28. Mim
    March 23rd, 2005 at 8:58 pm [Reply]

    No in comics time they have been married for about a month, long enough to produce morning sickness,,, ewwww

  29. Francois Mitterand
    March 23rd, 2005 at 10:57 pm [Reply]

    Re: glass bowl on shelf: It’s a cat! Stuck in a bowl between salt and pepper shakers! Whatth?!!

  30. Mibbitmaker
    March 24th, 2005 at 12:31 am [Reply]

    Maybe she really isn’t pregnant. If that’s the case, then last time she ate, she should’ve stayed away from the red herring!

  31. PizzaBagel
    March 24th, 2005 at 12:56 am [Reply]

    Whatever Anna’s got appears to be contagious – via telephone. In panel two of today’s (3/23) strip, Meddling Mary looks to be tipping sideways with a queasy look on her face.

    And lose the deep-dark-red lipstick, both of you ladies. It went out in the ’50s. I hear that black is in. Speak to June Morgan aka Judy Garland to find out where it’s available.

  32. Pookie
    March 24th, 2005 at 10:13 am [Reply]

    Between Cathy and Airhead Anna, who’s more disgusting? Gloating about being Mrs. Irving Hillman or Mrs. Dr. Good? Ooooh, I snagged me a trophy husband! Hot da-ymn!

    Go ahead, Anna, puke in the lobby so Mary will have to clean it up. It’s what her meddling gets her.

  33. Byron Raphael
    March 24th, 2005 at 11:21 am [Reply]

    Thats the funniest thing I have read in a long time. Well done.

  34. JohnnyB
    March 24th, 2005 at 11:23 am [Reply]

    There were a couple of Far Side cartoons featuring Moses parting various things, including a glass of orange juice or milk as a kid and his own hair.

  35. Aristomedes
    March 24th, 2005 at 11:00 pm [Reply]

    What’s even scarier – ‘baby moses bath cartoon’ gets 21,500 hits on Google!

  36. Gorm
    March 25th, 2005 at 7:54 am [Reply]

    As if by magic, here’s another mouth-covering vomit gag (pun intended) in Friday the 25th’s Baldo:

    http://www.ucomics.com/baldo/

  37. RememberByronFrost
    March 25th, 2005 at 10:17 am [Reply]

    Ditsy Anna is just NOW discovering that infertility can be the male’s fault? Give me a break — she’s even dumber than airhead Mim.

    And Buck, the pus-encrusted vagrant over in Rex Morgan, is even more meddlesome than Mary Worth! WTF business is his how much Fence Post Frank charges and whether June pays him half up front?

    At least FPF is able to keep his hair out of his eyes.

  38. Moesy
    March 25th, 2005 at 10:58 am [Reply]

    Back on the post for the 3/11 CBrachyrhynchos speculated that the infertility wasn’t Anna’s problem, but that of her impotent ex. Your a friggin’ genius!!! Check out today’s MW http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/style/comics/king.htm?name=Mary_Worth
    Well done!!!

  39. WoodrowFan
    March 28th, 2005 at 11:33 am [Reply]

    I suspect Mim and Anna were home schooled and never taught all that icky “how babies get made” stuff!

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