The Comics Curmudgeon

Main content:

Wednesday quickies

Apartment 3-G, 5/13/09

Hey, Margo’s Mousy Assistant Whose Name I Cannot Be Bothered To Remember (from here on in to be referred to as MMAWNICBBTR): take a cue from your boss and finger-quote! It’ll save you time!

Beetle Bailey, 5/13/09

I was going to say that Beetle should be charging more for his escort services, but then I thought, what kind of added value does he really offer the customer, anyway?

Dick Tracy, 5/13/09

“We’ll see who’s about to die” ought to be Dick Tracy’s mission statement.

Momma, 5/13/09

“Also, we’ll all be dead soon enough, so it’s not really our problem!”

This entry was posted on Wednesday, May 13, 2009 at 11:25 am and is filed under Apartment 3-G, Beetle Bailey, Dick Tracy, Momma. |

119 responses to “Wednesday quickies”

Carlo
May 13th, 2009 at 11:34 am [Reply]

Luann: Brad actually is right. Toni is a regular Rachael Ray, meaning she’s not much of a cook and is thoroughly annoying. Also, she’ll probably kill your dog if you let her.
Eleusis
May 13th, 2009 at 11:36 am [Reply]

I believe the assistant’s name is Doris, but it is probably relevant to mention that I only remember it because of Margo’s sociopathic lack of sympathy for her grief over their boss’s drug-related murder. “Doris wouldn’t stop crying, so tiresome!” or something like that. Oh, Margo… never change.
Marion Delgado
May 13th, 2009 at 11:45 am [Reply]

WAIT! JOSH! No comment on the fact that the new generation of BC writers/artists are CURMUDGEONS who read “Garfield without Garfield?”
Joe Blevins
May 13th, 2009 at 11:45 am [Reply]

Margo’s assistant has undoubtedly forgotten her own name by now, so accustomed is she to being referred to only as “you,” as in, “Hey, you, fetch me a Tab, and while you’re up there are a few crime scenes I need you to tamper with. But bring the Tab first. Oh, and on your way back, start brainstorming plausible-sounding alibis.”

In a pitiful display of Stockholm Syndrome, Margo’s assistant has tragically tried to duplicate her oppressor/employer’s appearance but has failed miserably and instead looks like the abandoned offspring of Moe Howard and Marcie from Peanuts.
Marion Delgado
May 13th, 2009 at 11:49 am [Reply]

Also, in FunkSchaft:

When I saw “You can’t see a thing!” I assumed “life-ruining teen pregnancy” and went on to the next ‘toon. Batiuk crossed me up this time, it’s actually “high-spirited indecent exposure charge.”
150
May 13th, 2009 at 11:50 am [Reply]

I’m not sure whether Beetle Bailey is supposed to be a “Ha ha, movies are so expensive these days!” joke, a “Ha ha, a woman had to pay for her own meal!” joke, or a “Ha ha, Beetle’s so broke his date had to pay for him!” joke. I will charitably assume it’s the third choice, but would also believe that it’s a “Ha ha, I got away with two more panels that aren’t funny!” joke, at our expense.
Niall
May 13th, 2009 at 11:55 am [Reply]

Beetle: Watching Ms Buxley hug herself and watching the wonderful globes moving and lifting from under the thin red dress, Ms Blip was once again painfully reminded of the cruel joke that Nature and genetics gave her. Later that night, she would watch the memory, and hug herself, eyes closed, desperately wishing for the same feel… but no, nothing touched her arms, and to stave off the tears, it was another lonely night with Mr Daniels and Mr Vibe, to stave off the growing feeling of resentment that made her want to tear off Buxley’s dress and saw the offenders off to keep for her very own.
Les of the Jungle Patrol
May 13th, 2009 at 11:57 am [Reply]

#6, 150: Given that in the last year, the women of BB were horrified by the title Ms, I’m guessing that it’s an “omg a woman had to pay for herself” joke. Shocking, really.
Dan
May 13th, 2009 at 12:04 pm [Reply]

Coming up next: The Camp Swampy Wet T-Shirt Contest! Starring Miss Buxley, Miss Blip, and that wacky private who always wears the 3D glasses. Oh, and Julius!
Windier E. Megatons
May 13th, 2009 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

Wait a second – there’s ANOTHER Dick Tracy villain who looks like a playing card? What the fuck is the deal with this strip? Should I be expecting a future plot where the bad guy is just an enormous red diamond?
Calico
May 13th, 2009 at 12:09 pm [Reply]

Beetle – there would most likely be some added value if Beetle brought Sarge along for the date.

Niall-thanks for the info on the word “Foyer.” I’m a US Anglo living in Quebec (and I recently received my Perm. Residency card-Yaaaaayyyy!)

I’m always interested in expanding my French, both Provincially and Regionally speaking. There are many similarities and differences semantically, which keeps me on my toes.
The other day, thanks to Gordon Ramsay of all people, I learned what “Mirepoix” and “Pomme Fondant” are – and I worked in a restaurant for a couple of years (albeit an Italian resto).
Niall
May 13th, 2009 at 12:09 pm [Reply]

7. me: I get scared when I’m starting to channel Dingo like this. I knew I was tired, but.. probably best I stick to work for the day.
Calico
May 13th, 2009 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

#6 – I also think it’s a “Ha ha, the United States military doesn’t pay its troops nearly enough!”
Baka Gaijin
May 13th, 2009 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

Cathy: I said it before and I’ll say it again: “Every son who loves his mother wants to find a bride like dear old mom.” If Irving didn’t find Cathy he’d probably be wearing his mother’s clothes and a wig while ~~mummy~~ mommy sits mummified in the basement.

Garfield: I’m checking myself into the Funky Winkerbean Home for Those Awaiting the Sweet Release of Death. I laughed at Garfield today. The joke is ancient, panel 1 telegraphed the rest of the strip, yet I still laughed.

To the artist of Mary Worth: Please flip Adrian’s right eye (left eye to us). It’s way creepy. OK, it adds to her overall creepiness.
Niall
May 13th, 2009 at 12:12 pm [Reply]

11. Calico: Welcome, welcome! :) You’ll never lack of weird regionalisms to keep you on your toes. And completely bizarre use of english words quite removed from the original. Also, remember that in Quebec, “job” is feminine while in France it’s masculine. No, there’s no rhyme or reason for it. Me, I just looked in my paper dictionaries I keep at work or home. Invest in some. The French ones are horribly expensive, but there’s nothing better for vocabulary. You can easily find some regionalism dictionaries too.
Ethan Shuster
May 13th, 2009 at 12:14 pm [Reply]

Pardon my French, but Tracy’s line — “We’ll see who’s about to die” — is fucking awesome. Is he about to kill a guy with that rake thing from the Craps table??
Calico
May 13th, 2009 at 12:15 pm [Reply]

#15 Thanks Niall! I love it here.
We actually have a huge Collins-Robert French & English Dictionary which is terrific.
I have a small Cassell’s which is ok but not anything like the C-R, which weighs a ton. Definitely not backpack material!
CanuckDownSouth
May 13th, 2009 at 12:19 pm [Reply]

#8, 13 – well, the 18$ would actually make sense if she paid for herself but not Beetle (8$ diner meal and 10$ movie are possible). But then why be so happy that it “only” cost her that much? She may have enjoyed the company, but could have done it on her own for that price.

Do not get stuck trying to decipher zombie comics reasoning. Go do something easier like quantum physics.
UncleJeff
May 13th, 2009 at 12:21 pm [Reply]

DT: I’ve given up on trying to figure out which line of dialogue belongs to ol’ Dick and which belongs to Jack-A-Diamonds or whateverthehellhisnameis.

Annie: I wish my local papers would pick up this strip! Outstanding art and a storyline that moves right along.

Love Is: I’d speculate what’s in the box Little Naked Guy is giving to Little Blindfolded Naked Girl but I don’t need any (extra) attention from the District Attorney’s Office.
Edgy DC
May 13th, 2009 at 12:25 pm [Reply]

Mel Lazarus has been bringing Momma since 1970, so expecting her to die may not be your best stratagy.
Hogan
May 13th, 2009 at 12:27 pm [Reply]

DT: Next week on Warriors of the World–croupier’s rake vs. roulette wheel . . . TO THE DEATH.

FC: It’s nice to have a little kid around! They don’t punch back the way the big ones do.
Rainbird
May 13th, 2009 at 12:29 pm [Reply]

In Curtis, is it not a Mister something? Is it a woman?

Nope to edgy for Curtis, where the hight of rebellion is making fun of ladies’ Sunday hats.
Charlene
May 13th, 2009 at 12:29 pm [Reply]

’shaft: I was surprised by the people who got angry because Mom stopping the daughter from streaking was somehow preventing her from having “fun”. I’m not sure exactly why they assumed that running around naked is necessary for that person’s own “fun”, or that Mom was being a harsh evil bitch for preventing her daughter from being arrested.
Gal Friday
May 13th, 2009 at 12:39 pm [Reply]

#16 I agree!
Gal Friday
May 13th, 2009 at 12:40 pm [Reply]

Tracy doesn’t bring them in “dead or alive”, he brings them in “dead, deader, or horribly mangled and dying”
commodorejohn
May 13th, 2009 at 12:43 pm [Reply]

Y131 Niall – I suppose it is a little unfair of me to criticize one penis joke while making another, but…come on, Pastis is cleverer than this, and he knows it.
Zaq
May 13th, 2009 at 12:50 pm [Reply]

Wednesday!

DT: Jack, even when faced with his own impending and unnecessarily gruesome death, remembers the Villains’ Code and obediently starts informing the hero of the details of his Evil Plan. Union rules, you know.

JP: So not only is Marcie wearing a lovely 80s hairdo, she also looks like she was around to wear it when it was in fashion.

Ghost-Who-Eats: What does it say about me that I took one look at Mrs. Ghost’s armband things and immediately equated them with the magic shackles on the Genie in Aladdin?

RMMD: Rex has his Frowny Concerned Face on. Shit’s goin’ down.

MC: Rex looks… weirdly adorable in panel 2 there.

Ziggy: Huh. Ziggy’s leg is up. He’s apparently walking by the sign. Normally he just kind of stands there, regarding the strange and inexplicable signs with his usual look of… well, whatever it is.
ohgodhowdoIknowthishowdoInoticethiswhatiswrongwithme
Patrick
May 13th, 2009 at 12:51 pm [Reply]

Dinner and a movie for under 20 bucks? Where did Beetle and Miss Buxley go on their date? 1973?
Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
May 13th, 2009 at 12:54 pm [Reply]

Curtis — Is the teacher having an affair? After all, she is referred to as “Mrs.”.
gnome de blog
May 13th, 2009 at 12:56 pm [Reply]

“We’ll see who’s about to die!” could be Margo’s mission statement as well.

Tracy vs. Margo. Now there’s a crossover.
gnome de blog
May 13th, 2009 at 12:58 pm [Reply]

June has a navel. We’ll probably never find out if she has nipples.
JHPants
May 13th, 2009 at 12:59 pm [Reply]

Dopey McSideburns in MT won’t feel easy anytime soon, but he will feel some Fists o’ Justice before the week is out.
Dragon of Life
May 13th, 2009 at 12:59 pm [Reply]

Don’t get our hopes up. No one in Momma will ever die. They have the tenacity of Jungian archetypes and the horror of Lovecraftian Old Ones, and their squamous squalling will see us to our earthly rests and beyond.
Winky's Spleen
May 13th, 2009 at 1:01 pm [Reply]

Love is… bending her over a box and giving her some surprise backdoor lovin’.
holls
May 13th, 2009 at 1:08 pm [Reply]

Now that’s an interesting, and heretofore unexamined point.
Obviously a civilian secretary to a general makes much more than a private.

Hmmm. All of the conclusions that I can draw are icky.
Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
May 13th, 2009 at 1:12 pm [Reply]

35 — holls — Heck, when I was in uniform, a decent civilian secretary made more than an unmarried 2nd lieutenant.
Hairhead
May 13th, 2009 at 1:13 pm [Reply]

Luann – Okay, Evans is entering ever-creepier territory.

Look, Toni volunteers to take a week off to “nurse” Brad. She won’t go in his bedroom (where he should be staying a lot of the time), she won’t go into his bathroom (where she would be needed for spongebaths and other services — seriously, the bathroom is the most dangerous room in the house for invalids!), she won’t stay at night, and, as it happens, she can’t cook!

This brings into question her entire raison d’etre for “nursing” Brad. What she’s doing is coldly, deliberately, cock-teasing the poor guy to death. Brad is lame, certainly, but he doesn’t deserve this torment. (And in real life, no macho-environment fireman would.)

I think Greg Evans’ Luann reflects his own horrible experiences in life — and what a horrible, dry life it must have been to this point!
Mibbitmaker
May 13th, 2009 at 1:13 pm [Reply]

#4 (Joe Blevins): Well, that is better than looking like Moe the crook from Mark Trail and Marcie from Peanuts.

…..I think…….
Grandstanding Oddball
May 13th, 2009 at 1:14 pm [Reply]

No, really. How on earth is Mama considered a comic?
Niall
May 13th, 2009 at 1:27 pm [Reply]

Who am I kidding, the CC is what’s keeping me sane and awake today. (Not a good night’s sleep. Not good thoughts today.)

17. Calico: are you in Montreal? Cause I’m swinging that way in a week and a half to scope out new chocolatiers. :) And yeah, French dictionaries have so many more entries than English ones, and I swear the Petit Robert is printed one or two font sizes smaller than the Concise Oxford. Also, English dictionaries always boast the number of entries on the jacket, but French ones never say…

26. commodorejohn: that’s a better point, yes. Also, Pastis is supposed to be a professional, and up to a higher standard than us. :)

35. Holls: plus, everyone wants to do something private with her too…
Bryan
May 13th, 2009 at 1:45 pm [Reply]

Luann: Toni: No, I do my best cooking in the bedroom!
Brad: Oh, do you use a hot plate or some device like that?
Toni: (sigh) I wonder what Dirk’s up to these days?

Curtis: Curtis’ teacher is dating a time-hopping Thurgood Marshall. He came forward in time to see Obama’s inauguration but missed by a couple of months and decided to score himself some 21st century scootch while here.

Beetle Bailey: Beetle, to use Gennifer Flowers’ description of Bill Clinton, “Eats pussy like a champ.”
Ces
May 13th, 2009 at 1:45 pm [Reply]

Hey, Guys!

Well done to all those who caught the “Chronic Town” reference in today’s “Sally Forth” (and to the one that quipped “R.E.M. beat you to it,” c’mon now). In fact, every song on the EP is mentioned in today’s strip with the exception of my favorite, “Gardening at Night,” which I couldn’t quite work in without the dialogue getting a little disturbing:

Sally: What do you mean you and Faye were gardening at night? Is that some sort of euphemism?
thurston unger
May 13th, 2009 at 1:50 pm [Reply]

JP: Sophie’s nemesis Marcie has not only grown a spine, but, in true Baretto tradition, a heaving bosom as well.

#7 Niall: That is disturbing. Congratulations.
commodorejohn
May 13th, 2009 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

#43 thurston unger – I wouldn’t say “heaving” so much as “thrusting.” You could put an eye out on those things.
Hopscotch Willie
May 13th, 2009 at 2:00 pm [Reply]

It’s only after reading Niall’s comment, that I realised that the person talking to Ms Buxley was one ‘Ms Blip’, and not one of Robin Hood’s merry men, who had been kicked out of Sherwood Forest for having a haircut that was too craply medieval. Plus, are those her tits?
Baka Gaijin
May 13th, 2009 at 2:02 pm [Reply]

#41 Bryan on Curtis: I do NOT want to think about that teacher’s “scootch” or whatever euphemism for “hoo-hoo” you dream up any more than I’d want to think of Mary Worth’s dried up old scootch. Nor do I want to think of anyone doing anything with the scootches in question.
Baka Gaijin
May 13th, 2009 at 2:03 pm [Reply]

By the way, the links in #46 came from the first Google result of +Dingo +Mary +leathery . Make of that what you will.
Sheila Sternwell
May 13th, 2009 at 2:15 pm [Reply]

#23 Charlene – It’s just nudity, and streaking has been hip since the early 70s. If no one blinks an eye at the streakers on the ultra-conservative, ultra-bland Kansas State University campus, then I think most people are okay with the idea and consider it a bit of harmless fun.

Although I do recall someone on campus helpfully suggesting to one streaker that he should wear shoes next time. We can only hope Mindy doesn’t need to be told this key bit of info.
Sheila Sternwell
May 13th, 2009 at 2:20 pm [Reply]

Oh, I forgot to mention that YOU PEOPLE made me dream about Luann last night, and I don’t even read the damn strip.

I was trying to tell a drunk Bill Cosby about a TOTES FUNNY Luann where Toni said she was off to learn how to “save babies” but TJ misheard it as “shave babies” and made a dirty pun out of it.

If I need a lobotomy to get this horrific dream memory out of my head forever, I’m making sure YOU ALL get the bill for it.
Calico
May 13th, 2009 at 2:23 pm [Reply]

#40 – Actually I live in Cap-Rouge, part of Quebec City (c’est dans la Cité encore, aprés la fusion) and I won’t be in Montréal for a long while – but let me know if you would like to visit us anytime in QC. : )

Talk soon!

And Ces #42 – Sounds like a reference to Willy Loman.
Poteet
May 13th, 2009 at 2:26 pm [Reply]

DT — Since this verbose brawl is supposedly taking place in Iowa, I feel compelled to point out that we do have local law enforcement and cell phones here, and we also have citizens who, in real life, would be willing to interfere in a casino fight between one insane man armed with a metallic plumber’s helper and another insane man armed with a chip rake.
Niall
May 13th, 2009 at 2:28 pm [Reply]

43. thurston unger: thanks, though 46. baka gaijin’s links show the true master of disturbing. If I ever get to Dingo’s levels, I will fear for my sanity. Dingo, you know I mean this in a compliment to you – our lives have been radically different (so far) and I do not think like you can at all. If suddenly I do, I will be a different person, and not one my current self wants to be. Yet I do value those minds as vast repertoires of true life knowledge and wisdom; wouldn’t it be nice if I learned from it and heeded the warnings?

45. hopscotch wilie: she doesn’t have tits, she has blips. Hence her name.

50. Calico: I’ve actually never been to Québec City, to my shame. (I’ve been just near its doors once in my mother’s car as she picked up my sister who had been there, but that’s as close as I’ve been.) This must be remedied. If I do, I’ll let you know.
T. Chicana
May 13th, 2009 at 2:29 pm [Reply]

#42: Ces, I LOVE vintage REM. My favorite music ever. Keep ‘em comin!
kitty
May 13th, 2009 at 2:34 pm [Reply]

“How very quaint of the detective?” Is…that…actual sarcasm delivered…properly in Apartment 3-G? Like…a near recognition of irony? It’s good I’m sitting, I’m dizzy.
It's time to pay the price
May 13th, 2009 at 2:37 pm [Reply]

today: Mama’s scoliosis support group worries about a future they will never need eserience.
T. Chicana
May 13th, 2009 at 2:43 pm [Reply]

Crankstink: Crankshaft Bubble Head Mom should worry less about what her daughter is or isn’t going to wear and more about how in the world those glasses stay on their faces without the little nose-bridge thingies. That never fails to bother me.
Poteet
May 13th, 2009 at 2:44 pm [Reply]

# 48 Sheila — On the one occasion back in the early Seventies when I streaked our campus quad (at 2 am), I wore tennies and was glad I did. I agree with that advice.

And I sympathize re the dream. Thanks to CC, I once dreamed about Mary Worth.
Muffaroo
May 13th, 2009 at 2:50 pm [Reply]

AD – Didn’t see that coming!

No, seriously. I didn’t see it coming.

Blondie – “Julius, did I just hear you talking to Bumstead?”

Curtis – “Hi, Curtis! I’m Barack Obama, and it’s been weeks since I was in a comic strip!”

DTracy – “I should let you in on our scheme before you die!“ “Seriously, it’s in my contract. Okay, there’s six of us in a limited partnership, structured as a tontine…”

FCircus – Little kid? If he stood up, he’d tower over you.

MWorth – “Everything’s happening so fast!” “Usually, it takes me a couple of weeks just to file my nails, and I was only at Police Headquarters for four or five days before he asked me out. This dizzying pace has me so muddled I almost put my hair on backwards this morning!”

PCity – Winslow’s not related to Herb and Dottie, is he?

S-Man – Phone booth? How cliche! If they’d go back and look, they’d see that phone booth trips were far outweighed by the number of times Clark ran off to get a “While You Were Out” pad and didn’t come back.
Muffaroo
May 13th, 2009 at 2:51 pm [Reply]

“Wednesday Quickies” … but enough about Beetle’s date with Ms. Buxley…

sugarpie @Y69 – My favorite cousin still lives in Houston, so even though my parents are no longer in the state, I still have a reason to visit.

Frank Parsnip @Y86 – We’ll never know what happens when Ted gets out of prison. Twenty years of Mary Worth time will be well after the sun burns out, and earth will be a darkened cinder inhabited by albino cockroaches who won’t even read newspaper comics.

Windier E. Megatons @10 – Yes, there’s ANOTHER Dick Tracy villain who looks like a playing card! Sadly, villains who look like playing cards are overbreeding, so remember: if you have any, get them spade.
Sparky AKA Able Bodied Seaman Craggy Fjord
May 13th, 2009 at 2:56 pm [Reply]

BB: Bettle’s doing Buxley? Did he dump his gal? Is he the new Ted?
Alan's Addiction
May 13th, 2009 at 3:06 pm [Reply]

Wow. A3G shows how cutting-edge retro it is by inserting a slang term no cop has used in forty years. I wonder if next they’ll start discussing the plague of flappers and gin halls and pool joints that are destroying the nation.
I didn’t realize that Beetle could overcome his slothfulness long enough to go on a date.
Way to go, Dick Tracy. The villain giving up all the information just before being brained by the hero is a plot cliche we’ve only heard a few thousand times.
The real punchline in today’s Momma is the unspoken fact that our national debt is being underwritten largely by loans from the Chinese government. That’s right, the communists are now bailing out capitalism. Or maybe Momma’s readership is too simple to grasp the rich irony of that concept.
Mrs Threeway Taint
May 13th, 2009 at 3:08 pm [Reply]

Now we finally figure out Toni’s deal. She’s sessay because she starves herself. Good God, woman, get to know a cheeseburger.

Also, are there any straight early-20s guys who know who Rachael Ray is? … Oh wait, dude lives with TJ. My bad.
Digger
May 13th, 2009 at 3:11 pm [Reply]

$18 for dinner and a movie? Beetle and Miss Buxley must have done a little dine-and-dash, followed by discount night at the retro theatre.
Mrs Threeway Taint
May 13th, 2009 at 3:13 pm [Reply]

Sparky AKA: I think he’s always been shtupping Buxley. Buxley probably doesn’t mind being the secondary to Sarge. I think all military guys swing both ways anyway.
Steve S
May 13th, 2009 at 3:14 pm [Reply]

“Dinner at the diner”? “A movie”? That seems vague even to Herb and Jamaal.
Artist formerly known as Ben
May 13th, 2009 at 3:18 pm [Reply]

One thing no one (including yours truly) seems to have noted is that today’s Six Chix deals with the precipitous growth of Eve’s vulva. Rina Piccolo is breaking new religious and sexual ground. Adam’s figleaf remains disappoitingly the same size, and isn’t that always the way?
Muffaroo
May 13th, 2009 at 3:32 pm [Reply]

Sounds like they must have been in Chattanooga. Dinner at the diner, nothin’ could be finer…
Charterstoned
May 13th, 2009 at 3:32 pm [Reply]

MT – So, as I look at today’s strip I see that Moe and Larry are going to move the log with…their guns? Meanwhile, unless those shadowy figures deceive me, they’ve managed to leave Rusty behind the wheel of the car with Sassy riding shotgun. Does the kid know how to drive, or are we about to see Aldo-like destruction in LoFo? I’m almost afraid to think that we will only see Mark’s predictable RFOJ.
Baka Gaijin
May 13th, 2009 at 3:42 pm [Reply]

To all those wondering about the $18 movie date: Obviously they spent $17 for a cab to/from the local Costco, where they hit all the food sample ladies then stood in front of the Panasonic 65″ plasma watching “The Wonderful World of Blu-Ray,” featuring closeups of bees accosting flowers, fish swimming erratically, and ethnically-dressed people swinging on the ends of poles. Unlike after Margo’s had ‘em, these people are alive but wishing they weren’t.

Miss Buxley flirted with the stockboy with the scissorlift to heft her and Beetle to the top shelf of the Charmin rack. She made a fort with the 52-roll packs to hide them from the roving eye of the security cam, then laid Beetle down and, well, that’s about it. As soon as he was horizontal, he fell asleep. Buxley downloaded the iVibrator app for her iPhone, putting glee into Miss Buxley’s, um, scootch and her eye when relating the story to Blips. And now you know, the rest of the story.

Guess where the missing dollar went?
Calico
May 13th, 2009 at 3:49 pm [Reply]

#52 – Good show!
A bientot j’espére!
Sans Sense
May 13th, 2009 at 4:02 pm [Reply]

MW:

I am glad to see Mary getting right back on that horse! Of course Adrian should jump right into a new relationship after showing such a remarkable lack of good sense in her recent one. Mary is creating a ripe environment for intervention, a pre-emptive meddle if I’ve ever seen one!
Sans Sense
May 13th, 2009 at 4:09 pm [Reply]

RMMD:

If Panel Three were a solitary offering it would be delicious. A desperately grim Rex, looking for all the world as if he is posing for a daguerrotype, promising June that he’ll seek Willy help from Doctor Gomez…
Chyron HR
May 13th, 2009 at 4:18 pm [Reply]

69 Baka Gaijin – “Guess where the missing dollar went?”

You can’t fool me. They each paid nine dollars, which is the $25 for the hotel bill PLUS the $2 the bellhop pocketed.
hogenmogen
May 13th, 2009 at 4:24 pm [Reply]

BB: After doing the math, I think Buxley got off easy. A movie is like $8-$10 minimum x 2 and that’s not including popcorn and a drink. Plus a dinner – not coffee or a dessert – at a diner. I took my family to a matinee the other day and it ran me $25 just in tickets plus another $10 for snacks.

I saw Disney’s Earth by the way. For the same amount of money, I would have put the kids with a sitter and saw something PG 13 at the discount theatre. But then there’s that whole family-time argument, and showing the kids the wonders of Earth and blah blah blah, yeah I’m frikkin’ dad of the year but I hate myself for it. Is it too much to ask that I see a movie with an exploding car and plenty of flying glass shards? Is it?
hogenmogen
May 13th, 2009 at 4:34 pm [Reply]

When I saw the first panel of BB, I thought it was leading to a “Beetle fell asleep” joke. But woah! It was a “Beetle is a tightwad” joke instead! The whiplash! I think I just head bobbled!

Buxley’s salary – it was a running joke on WKRP that the bombshell secretary Jennifer (Loni Anderson) had the highest salary at the station, though she never seemed to perform any useful tasks.

On the $18 – it is possible that they went Dutch. Beetle might be platonic with Bux because his version of “sleeping” with her is the more literal sleeping (no quotes) with her. Plus, she’s the camp ho. If Killer Diller and that moron Zero can take her out, I wouldn’t pay her way, either.

Killer Diller: I’m gunna give ya a “pearl necklace”, heh heh.
Buxley: But I’m already wearing one, silly Dilly.
Brick Bradford
May 13th, 2009 at 4:47 pm [Reply]

Poteet: I always figured Tracy as more of a Chicago or New York kind of cop. Who knew Des Moines was such a hotbed of colorful criminals?
Donald the Anarchist
May 13th, 2009 at 4:50 pm [Reply]

A3G Oh, Margo, you fool no one. Your hate and contempt turn into passionate love at the blink of an eye, and except for that blink, not a soul could detect any difference between the two…

BB Well, they either dined and dashed or ate at the comissary, and I’m sure they snuck into the movie, so the question is what did Ms. Buxley buy in the park for Beetle? A blowjob in the bushes, or a little bit of ‘dope’ to get him through the rest of the evening?

Dick Tracy is illiterate. His killing of suspects is just an excuse to hide this fact. That way, he never has to read them their Miranda rights.

Tomorrow on Momma and Friends: we discuss the slow erosion of civil liberties in the last thirty years. Just kidding! Francis will attempt to sweet-talk Momma into loaning him $100, and it will be the most nauseating thing you’ve ever seen since the previous days strip, where Mel tried to draw the daughter in a bikini.
Sister Sestina
May 13th, 2009 at 4:51 pm [Reply]

Yeah, my bet is that Miss Buxley is hugging herself with gladness that she was ABLE to go Dutch this time, instead of having to pay for Beetle’s way as well.
Uncle Lumpy
May 13th, 2009 at 4:56 pm [Reply]

#76 Brick, Poteet –

Tracy is a Chicago cop – you send one of his to the hospital, he sends one of yours to the morgue. You pull a knife, he sends one of yours to the morgue. Somebody’s sister jaywalks, he sends one of yours to the morgue.
hogenmogen
May 13th, 2009 at 4:59 pm [Reply]

#2 – Eleusis: Their boss was Eric Mills, Margo’s fiance. I don’t think he was murdered unless I missed more of the strip than I thought. Alan the dope fiend was shot by Ray the even-worse dope fiend with a gun. Eric Mills was in some Tibetan monastary rescuing his brother. He was on his way back to the Western world, when suddenly….

… look, a shiny thing!
Holy Prepuce
May 13th, 2009 at 5:00 pm [Reply]

“We’ll see who’s about to die… when I disturb the feng shui of this Hammacher Schlemmer Desktop Executive Zen Garden by raking all the patterns out of the sand!”
Angry Kem
May 13th, 2009 at 5:16 pm [Reply]

Two months later, have some Middle English comics.

I would also like to thank Miss Buxley for making a joke rooted firmly in the sexual mores of the 1950s. It is hilarious. Ha ha ha ha ha! The boy didn’t pay for the date! What a jerk! Ha ha ha! Maybe she will have a baby out of wedlock, and we can pretend that she is evil!

Re. Dick Tracy: I think we can say with certainty that that is not a human hand.
Muffaroo
May 13th, 2009 at 5:35 pm [Reply]

When Miss Buxley says “movie,” she means a neighborhood venue where you can watch as much or as little of the movie as you want in your own private room, paying a quarter at a time (unless they’ve gone up to fifty cents in the years since I ventured out of my cave). Chances are they couldn’t sit in the same room, but I understand these are sometimes equipped with a small aperture through which contact can be maintained.

On the other hand, Baka Gaijin’s explanation @69 is remarkably cogent and persuasive. If only there was some way to recognize and reward such tightly-reasoned posts!
Talking Squirrel
May 13th, 2009 at 5:47 pm [Reply]

DT: Why am I not surprised to see Tracy with his hands on a skinny little hoe?
Esther Blodgett
May 13th, 2009 at 5:48 pm [Reply]

#59 Muffaroo: Sadly, villains who look like playing cards are overbreeding, so remember: if you have any, get them spade.

There, now you know the sort of thing that makes me laugh out loud in my office.
John Hewitt
May 13th, 2009 at 5:55 pm [Reply]

@ 69

$0.99 for the iPhone app?
gnome de blog
May 13th, 2009 at 5:58 pm [Reply]

Judge Parker’s existence in a loopy, one-off universe has always been one of its charms, but middle-school cheerleading being all about grades doesn’t compute, even in a non-Euclidean context. Even Gil Thorp has a firmer grasp on reality than that.
Sans Sense
May 13th, 2009 at 6:23 pm [Reply]

Dick is about to make the classic rookie mistake of choosing hoes over bros…
CanuckDownSouth
May 13th, 2009 at 6:26 pm [Reply]

87-GdB … see why the dream sequence theory is so appealing?

My schools had no cheerleaders, but AFAIK the stuff requires physical skill, maybe even MadSkillz for some of those competing cheer teams. There may be a minimum GPA required to be allowed on the squad (so you don’t wreck your education), but then if the head cheerleader’s grades dropped, she’d be suspended or dropped no matter whether Sophie was trying out or not.

In what kind of insane world do you have tryouts, determine who has the minimum skills needed for a cheer, then pick the highest GPA students from that group, right? Oh, right. One where a plastic barette makes the school nerd into Popular Girl.
Uncle Balustrade
May 13th, 2009 at 6:30 pm [Reply]

DT: I think that Chester Gould discovered gut-churning, horrific things to use in the strip long ago and USED THEM ALL UP! This is why there’s nothing left for the new guys to draw. A death battle with a roulette wheel and craps rake thing (whatever it’s called) is really scraping the bottom of the barrel.
ScienceGiant
May 13th, 2009 at 6:33 pm [Reply]

Hi and Lois: Nice hi-def, wide screen teevee. And assuming Trixie heard some adult language when she changed the channel, that means you have the premium channels. And here I thought you were cheap m*th@rf&ck%rs with only basic cable.
Some Guy
May 13th, 2009 at 6:41 pm [Reply]

So, Marvin has found himself in a surreal world, where his parents look disturbingly different, but seem more fun.

Tom Armstrong has just seen Coraline and he hopes we haven’t.
Islamorada Girl
May 13th, 2009 at 6:51 pm [Reply]

Meanwhile, over in Judge Parker, Sophie’s mortal cheerleading enemy mean girl seems to have picked up the late Skanki McSkankington’s hair, perhaps at a yard sale down at the morgue.

Hey, mean girl! The 70’s called! They want their overpermed hair back!
Talking Squirrel
May 13th, 2009 at 7:00 pm [Reply]

Curtis: I lust for an old-fashioned pressure-cooker with a bobblehead like the one in panel 2.
Sans Sense
May 13th, 2009 at 7:01 pm [Reply]

# 90. Uncle Balustrade -

You assume there is dignity to offend here. Are you ready for scintillating wordplay involving Jack playing “Russian Roulette” and Jack “cashing in his chips”?
Jeremiah
May 13th, 2009 at 7:34 pm [Reply]

Momma – So can artist only draw potted palms and frumpy hats of dubious make? I’m glad I missed that day of art class.

JP – I have no many question! Do teenagers really talk like that? Can people really move like that? Why does that one girl have a tribble on her head?
Poteet
May 13th, 2009 at 7:51 pm [Reply]

# l82 Angry Kem — Yay! You’re doing Middle English comics again! And may you triumph over the vindictive students, serenely and gloriously.
gnome de blog
May 13th, 2009 at 8:01 pm [Reply]

89 CanuckDownSouth said:

In what kind of insane world do you have tryouts, determine who has the minimum skills needed for a cheer, then pick the highest GPA students from that group, right? Oh, right. One where a plastic barette makes the school nerd into Popular Girl.

Also the school where the rich girls are ostracized for being rich. It’s been decades since I was in school, but I’m firmly under the impression that the rich girls still did the ostracizin’.

Poor Sophie. She was annoyingly cheerful when all she owned was a leg brace and one ugly dress. Now she has to muddle through a common middle school while her sister the art student is bunked in a $4m flat in the 17th with her own butler. Fair is fair. Abbey at least ought to pack her off to one of those snooty Swiss finishing schools where they know how to treat her kind.
Clint
May 13th, 2009 at 8:02 pm [Reply]

Re Beetle Bailey: I wish, I wish, I wish that I could side with the people who claim it’s a Costco date or maybe that’s the cost of going Dutch with Beetle. No, instead, this is a hilarious paleolithic joke about how ladyfolks don’t pay their way and the juxtaposition thereof is so ludicrous as to render me in a heap of tears and giggles! Ladyfolks also don’t wear pants, fail to bake pies, or ask for rights like voting or owning property.
Jamus The Bartender
May 13th, 2009 at 8:03 pm [Reply]

Judge Parker: I was just waiting for Sophie to say ” You don’t understand. I’m not locked in this school with you, you’re locked in this school with me.”
Angry Kem
May 13th, 2009 at 8:12 pm [Reply]

#92 Some Guy: I thought of Coraline as soon as I saw the comic. However, I didn’t think of it in a “Wow, this dude is making a clever comment on a recent excellent film” sort of way. I believe the thought that was running through my head was more like, “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGHNOOOOO get your slimy hands off Neil Gaiman, you monster!”
TheDiva
May 13th, 2009 at 8:26 pm [Reply]

92 & 101: The obvious difference, of course, is that Marvin is still the most frightening creature around even in this twisted, nightmarish imitation of his reality.

MW: I dunno, I think Detective Sherbertblazer would be a good match for Adrian. The fact that he asked her out while conducting an investigation into her recently-arrested fiance without considering the emotional or professional implications indicates that his complete lack of common sense is equal to her own.
Captain Thunder
May 13th, 2009 at 9:08 pm [Reply]

I’m not sure what to make of this recent Judge Parker storyline. On the one hand, it concerns teenage cheerleaders, which is topically pretty far from the practice of the law, thus keeping with JP tradition. On the other hand, all the principals are female, yet none qualify as buxom, stacked, voluptuous, busty, bosomy, boobtastic, or juggalicious. I’m confused. Is this a Judge Parker plotline or not? Make up your minds, guys!
Carly
May 13th, 2009 at 9:12 pm [Reply]

Beetle Bailey: “See, it’s funny because she has to pay for her own dinner because Beetle’s so cheap. Haw haw! What do you mean it’s 2009 and women sometimes pay for dinner?”
Erik A
May 13th, 2009 at 9:24 pm [Reply]

FC: “That way, next time Billy does one of his ‘rituals,’ I’m not the one dripping in goat blood, dancing for my life. Not again.”
Sheila Sternwell
May 13th, 2009 at 9:33 pm [Reply]

#57 Poteet: “Thanks to CC, I once dreamed about Mary Worth.”

That you didn’t go insane and take out your local newspaper archives while shouting “Burn her!” is a testament to your character.

Beetle Bailey: Obviously, they watched “Madagascar” on a neighbor’s HDTV while hiding in the bushes just outside the window, then shared a plate of poutine at the local diner afterwards.
tb4000
May 13th, 2009 at 9:34 pm [Reply]

BB: Dammit Beetle, you’re serving your country, so the least that broad can do is pay your way. Though on the other hand i wonder if he used his military discount.
seismic-2
May 13th, 2009 at 9:58 pm [Reply]

Is “MMAWNICBBTR” actually Honi, from Doonesbury?
sugarpie
May 13th, 2009 at 10:00 pm [Reply]

Gil Thorp I’m only a casual follower of Gil Thorp. Every now and then I’ll check in to see how Mimi Thorp is being drawn by the current artist. It’s been a a pretty wide continuum over the years, ranging from Billie Jean King to Brook Shields. Unfortunately today’s strip offers no glimpse of Mrs. Coach Gil Thorp but does manage to reinforce one thing: the only pastime more boring than organized religion is organized sports.
commodorejohn
May 13th, 2009 at 10:13 pm [Reply]

#100 Jamus The Bartender – If Judge Parker went down that path, I would honest-to-God set up a shrine to Wilson and Baretto in my living room.
Rachel K
May 13th, 2009 at 10:43 pm [Reply]

“We’ll see who’s about to die” may or may not be Dick Tracy’s mission statement, but it’d make an awfully good plot summary for Funky Winkerbean, wouldn’t it?
Squid Vicious
May 13th, 2009 at 11:09 pm [Reply]

Margo’s assistant: unsmiling, vaguely Asian, all business. Remind you of anyone else in the comic world? Honey Huan, Duke’s long-time assistant in Doonesbury. I’d skip the whole ungainly MMAWNICBBTR thing and call her Honey from now on.
Squid Vicious
May 13th, 2009 at 11:10 pm [Reply]

Oh fuckin-a. I see seismic-2 at 108 beat me to it. Well done, madam/sir, well done!
DrPill
May 13th, 2009 at 11:17 pm [Reply]

BB: “We ate dinner at the diner, saw a movie at the movie theater and walked to the park and parked.” Wonder what Beetle did with his fork.
If the date were set in the timeline of BB, the cost of the date would work. Especially on Beetle’s pay, for which that would be about two week’s worth.
Joe
May 14th, 2009 at 12:28 am [Reply]

http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20090514&name=Curtis
Curtis- Looks like the teacher is dating a hybrid of Cotton Hill and Tommy “Tiny” Lister.

For those who don’t know who Lister is…
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tiny_Lister
sugarpie
May 14th, 2009 at 12:33 am [Reply]

Unbe-freaking-lievable!
sugarpie
May 14th, 2009 at 12:47 am [Reply]

#116 I mean, of course, in re 115.
Howlin' Wolf
May 14th, 2009 at 2:17 pm [Reply]

Jack has probably achieved the most ridiculous evil-scheme exposition on record. And he doesn’t even have Dick dangling by a rope over a pit full of piranas. All he is has is a roulette wheel. A ROULETTE WHEEL.
Finsfan23
May 14th, 2009 at 4:50 pm [Reply]

I just heard this hilarious quote on Golden Girls. Blanche is reading the comics and stating how she can’t get through her day without reading “Apartment 3G.” Dorothy states that she hasn’t read that strip since 1961.

Blanche: “Oh then let me catch you up…it’s later that same day” then the doorbell rings.

I wet myself I was laughing so hard.

Please read the posting and discussion policies before posting. You are not required to supply an e-mail address to comment; however, doing so decreases the likelihood of your comment being flagged as spam. E-mail addresses will never be made public or seen by anyone but the site writers, who may use them to communicate with commentors.

Archives:

Comment of the week:

Main navigation:

Main content:

Wednesday quickies

119 responses to “Wednesday quickies”

Leave a Reply

All the cool kids…

Randomly Selected Post O’ Mystery