Metapost: SEMI-IMPORTANT JOSH-RELATED ANNOUNCEMENTS! Plus: COTW
Your COTW is coming momentarily, but I have several items to share with you first — and a couple of them are about ME! First: do many of you use the Twitter? After much badgering, I, too have begun to use the Twitter! I am jfruh in those parts, and you may now follow me there for fun times! I will let you know when this blog updates, will clue you in on writing of mine that appears elsewhere, and will give you 140-character glimpses into my inner life.
But what if you wanted to find out about all that stuff in increments longer than 140 characters? Well, my friends, then you’d have to start reading my blog, the Josh Fruhlinger Experience. I’ve been thinking for a while about starting a blog of my very own — because while I am a professional blogger, I do try to keep the Comics Curmudgeon focused more or less on comics-related curmudgeonry. The Josh Fruhlinger Experience will serve as the place where I do all the things that most people do with their blogs — enthuse about local and national entertainment, blather half-informed about politics, post pictures of my cat, etc. I’ll also have news about other projects and events that I’m involved in; half the point of doing this new blog is to give me an incentive to come up with exciting events and projects to blog about. I can’t promise it’ll be updated every day, so you’ll want to subscribe to the RSS feed, obviously. And, uh, I’ll probably be linking to the more interesting bits on Twitter. And I’ll probably still post random non-comics-related stuff here too, although I might be more likely to just give you pointers to the other blog.
Also! There are things you should know about that are not wholly me-related! First of all, I have been meaning to alert you to the fact that there is now a My Cage Cafepress store, since I know many of you enjoy this comic (whose writer Ed Power is an occasional commentor here).
And! Faithful reader Highway pointed me to the hilarious Depression Funnies, from Ruben Bolling. Learn how Mark Trail will be getting through the hard economic times!
In addition! The LA Times insists on being awesome by continuing to post classic comics pages from years past. They just put up one from 1959, which contained this amazing Judge Parker, where we learn that college has transformed future judge Randy into a colossal tool:
And, finally: you might recall that a throwaway joke I made about Hi and Lois became a fantastic movie treatment, They Buried Beethoven Alive!, put together by faithful readers Captain Thunder and Comrade Denny in the comments. Faithful reader John Wood collected their work in one easy-to-read Google Docs document, making him a true American hero.
And now, without further ado … your COMMENT OF THE WEEK!
“Oddly enough, I sympathize with Crankshaft’s daughter. I also find stoned people annoying.” –J
And your runners-up! Very funny!
“I can’t think of anything as soul crushing as being nominated for the Westview High School Hall of Fame. I wonder, does the induction ceremony end with everyone swallowing a cyanide capsule?” –JHPants
“I think the Crankshaft mom is horrified that her daughter isn’t showing ‘anything’; hence, her last dreams of showing off her daughter’s prime young body to the highest social class she’ll ever socialize with (high school grads) will be shot, leaving her destined to a more typical Crankshaftian lifestyle.” –pccmdoc
“You should judge Mary Worth by her having chosen to dress like an undertaker for her volunteer job at the hospital.” –gnome de blog
“I have two theories about the blue-sheeted lump in the Room Beyond. It could be Ted, himself, once a con artist, now a patient at Mountview Hospital where he lingers near death after he is injured in a prison yard shanking at the Santa Royale Center for Attitude Adjustment. In this case, the plot will involve Adrian’s shock at recognizing her new patient and her sudden realization that she loves Ted still, in spite of all his faults. On the other hand, it could be that the Room Beyond is really the cafeteria and the blue lump is just an industrial quantity of the type of amorphous foodstuffs we’re so used to seeing in Mary Worth.” –Charterstoned
“The Morgans spend their time alone in the room with their legs crossed. Geez, no wonder these two always act frustrated. They don’t even know where or how to begin.” –True Fable
“Graduation Day in Funky Winkerbean would find the boys wearing hospital gowns and the girls wearing burial shrouds.” –Perky Bird
“In a pitiful display of Stockholm Syndrome, Margo’s assistant has tragically tried to duplicate her oppressor/employer’s appearance but has failed miserably and instead looks like the abandoned offspring of Moe Howard and Marcie from Peanuts.” –Joe Blevins
“Dinner and a movie for under 20 bucks? Where did Beetle and Miss Buxley go on their date? 1973?” –Patrick
“We’ll see who’s about to die … when I disturb the feng shui of this Hammacher Schlemmer Desktop Executive Zen Garden by raking all the patterns out of the sand!” –Holy Prepuce
“I dunno, I think Detective Sherbertblazer would be a good match for Adrian. The fact that he asked her out while conducting an investigation into her recently-arrested fiance without considering the emotional or professional implications indicates that his complete lack of common sense is equal to her own.” –TheDiva
“I’m just creeped out by Peter greeting Aunt May with ‘Hi pretty lady.’ I like to think she responds with the grammatically awkward and unnatural ‘Did you sleep here also last night?’ because it makes her a little uncomfortable as well, and not because she thinks that’s an acceptable way to speak English.” –Canaduck
“If Adrian chose that haircut, Adrian cannot be allowed to choose a life mate.” –Cranky
“The point is, when you’re a dead-eyed ancillary character in Mary Worth with hair like an ink helmet clinging mercilessly to your skull, you’re probably going to need a way to find exceptionally desperate guys if you’re ever going to get any action at all. So yeah, why not let your dad scare off all the normal, sane men before you waste your time on them?” –Trilobite
“I have spent some time in hospitals and I have to say that if I had been wheeled back to my room after some horrendous procedure to discover Mary Worth and some strange — ‘strange’ meaning ‘batshit nuts’ — doctor carrying on a prayer revival next to my bed, I wouldn’t have looked nearly as chipper as that poor sap in the wheelchair.” –Farley’s Revenge
“I’d hate to miss the fun … but since this is Judge Parker, I guess there’s not a whole lot of danger of that.” –Pozzo
“Don’t forget, Ces: when Sal is finally committed, Ted will be free to pursue Aria. Or become an eccentric shut-in who collects original Go-bots, including the rare South American releases. Thankfully, from what we know about Aria, these two fates are not mutually exclusive.” –Master Softheart
“This is the second or third day that Judge Parker has not featured attractive, scantily clad women, and without them, the strip has lost all of its appeal. It’s just a bunch of upper-class jerks (with porn star names) talking about their next lucrative contract, or their next pointless purchase; it’s essentially the illustrated version of The Wall Street Journal. Which means that, at its finest (with scantily clad women), Judge Parker is really just The Wall Street Journal Swimsuit Edition.” –Alan’s Addiction
“Dr. Jeff sure is suspicious of the detective who, after all, was kind enough to save his daughter from marrying a grifter. Could it be he’s worried that the good detective will deduce that Dr. Corey’s been prescribing himself ever-increasing amounts chlorpromazine and other powerful psychotropic drugs to deal with the self-loathing and despair he feels for dating Mary Worth? It’s not much of a deduction, though. More of a foregone conclusion.” –Comrade Denny
“Assuming the giant midpanel white space in Blondie is deliberate and not an insult to panel composition, the joke is obviously that in the first two panels Dagwood was trying and failing to smash through the walls à la Kool-Aid Man.” –Dragon of Life
“Also, I think Gabriella is Generic, not Hispanic. So ‘uno momento’, and for that matter, ‘uno memento’, are perfectly grammatical.” –Uncle Lumpy
Big thanks go to those who put some cash into my tip jar! And thanks must also go to my advertisers:
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To find out more about advertising on this site, click here.
Poteet
May 18th, 2009 at 11:01 pm
Pictures of your cat? You promise?
Rainbird
May 18th, 2009 at 11:06 pm
Ah Josh, you know we will all read your other blog, just because you wrote it. :)
Great pick for comics of the week, by the way.
Poteet
May 18th, 2009 at 11:11 pm
Tossed flowers to J and congrats to the funny runners-up! You made the most of good material this week.
Poteet
May 18th, 2009 at 11:13 pm
I am happy to report that there is indeed a photo of Josh’s cat on his blog. The first of many, I hope.
Crankenstank
May 18th, 2009 at 11:17 pm
Bravo, Perky Bird. Missed that one the first time ’round.
Dragon of Life
May 18th, 2009 at 11:23 pm
Oh sweet, my comment got a sexy accent mark in repetition! Pimp my comment! (I feel dirty having written that.)
Digger
May 18th, 2009 at 11:41 pm
Wow, I didn’t know Randy Parker became a college freshman at age 46.
Tweeks_Coffee
May 18th, 2009 at 11:45 pm
Who the hell is Ed Cage?
Muffaroo
May 18th, 2009 at 11:50 pm
Off the float again. Well, the exercise is good for me. Congratulations to the funny folk!
Note to self: Next time you’re up there, take a picture. It’ll last longer.
Josh
May 18th, 2009 at 11:53 pm
#8 Tweeks — Whoopsie! Fixed now — thanks for catching that.
Josh
Tweeks_Coffee
May 18th, 2009 at 11:58 pm
#10 – Josh: Of course, frankly I was just pissed that Mr. Power had, apparently, been stealing writing credits for quite some time now.
Uncle Lumpy
May 19th, 2009 at 12:07 am
#8 Tweeks –
He’s the writer of My Power, successor strip to The Nietzsche Family Circus.
Harold
May 19th, 2009 at 12:39 am
Hooray for all the winners!
The Twitter and also-blogs are a cool idea. Now when you go on vacation, we can just change channels and stalk you there!
But, Josh, if you ever get your car impounded again and the retrieval of same is hampered by a series of hilariously Kafkaesque situations, I’m hoping you’ll let us know about it here, too!
sugarpie
May 19th, 2009 at 12:45 am
Hooray for all the hilarity this week- Congratulations J and everyone else!
Josh, you’ve been keeping an eye on Roland Hedley recently, right? A word to the wise.
donut
May 19th, 2009 at 1:21 am
Josh, I’m a longtime lurker… I’ve been following your feed using netvibes, and whenever I hovered over the new post links, I got a little extra joke/comment. I love those little easter-eggy comments! But as of today they have disappeared. :(
Any idea why? Did you change something, or did netvibes?
Poteet
May 19th, 2009 at 1:33 am
5/19
MW — Detective Bland, you are a brave, brave man.
MT — I dream of the day that ChattyGenes and I do something vaguely heroic so we can hear those immortal words, “Well, thanks to both of you things turned out the way they did!”
Mibbitmaker
May 19th, 2009 at 1:42 am
# y95 (Old School Alley Cat): Wasn’t it awesome? (if you’ve seen it yet)
Other favorite recent shows, to see if we match up besides HIMYM and Arres. Dev. –
The Office (my favorite)
My Name is Earl (fingers crossed it stays on!)
30 Rock
’70s SNL (all-time)
SNL (ditto)
Late Night (Dave and Conan versions)
Joan of Arcadia
Whatever Spidey’s watching (oops — scratch that!)
Veronica Mars
Runner-up: New Adventures of Old Christine
Going back a ways: Carol Burnett, All in the Family, M*A*S*H, Cheers, NewsRadio, Laugh-In, Monty Python, SCTV, Match Game, Flintstones, among others.
True Fable
May 19th, 2009 at 1:43 am
Yay! Congratulations to J and all the float riders – and double yay, that includes me too! *waves and throws goat soap*
Children of the Circle “garage sale” “They like to watch”. Billy, you really need to stop hanging around Dr. Morgan.
Flunky Wasteotime Good Lord, this really IS just like all those boring school assemblies I slept through.
WTF GT Coach Kaz helps Gil join the 21st Century?! – why did they skip the last 5 decades of the 20th, then?
Sam Driver, Inexplicable Chick Magnet Okay, so maybe she isn’t a total bitch after all. I do like the fact that her two kids are bludgeoning each other in the pool in the background.
Bradann Awwww shut up.
Fist O Justice Theater OH BOY! Is Cherry doomed? Is this going to be the start of my dream Mark Trail event, where a terrible tragedy gets rid of Scary Ginormous Headed Woman and turns Mark into a surly, angry, vengeful naturalist/ survivalist? No? Well damn.
Marmadick No, he’s looking for much, much more.
Meddling Heights Oh lookie. Jeff thinks his miscolored shirt is from the Garth Brooks collection; Adrian thinks she’s *snort* stylish in her Peter Max outfit and the doorbell thinks it is a phone.
Rex Morgan, Man Whore So what IS the plot line now? Drinking among the elderly? Food poisoning on cruise ships? Stowaways? Human trafficking? Rex meets Guido? June and Rex lose the key to his chastity belt; what?
s4th Ted’s last panel line is a keeper!
Spider-moron I thought the whole point of starting over was to START OVER, and not pull a Foobian stunt and rehash the same tired old stuff again. Boo.
Nurse with a penis
May 19th, 2009 at 1:44 am
MW – Tues – Adrian has chosen an outfit out of the closet Mary uses at her Dad’s house. And to beat this horse to death – Ah, but this is Mary Worth, where the curtains are always pink. (I dig yer cat on TJFE)
Mibbitmaker
May 19th, 2009 at 1:57 am
TF: Reiterating from yesterthread: Sorry if parts of the goat-fight scene in HIMYM got alittle rough. Ep recommended sight unseen.
Re: Josh on Twitter: I don’t twitter, myself, but read the Terry Moore (Strangers in Paradise) one occasionally. Seems like my dial-up, with 9-year-old computer, is as unwilling to visit jfruh as it has been Terry’s one lately.
True Fable
May 19th, 2009 at 2:08 am
#20 Mibbitmaker – Did you see that goat fight back though! My ninja goats were highly agitated during that whole scene. It was one of those “watch this together and then sit down and talk it over with your kids” moments in television history. Conclusion: that’s what happens when you take a rag away from a doe – you get a big honkin’ hoofprint over one eye.
“Baaa” means “Baaa”! Priceless!
Mibbitmaker
May 19th, 2009 at 2:25 am
#21 (TF): Good approach, there. The ending was beyond great, but mostly for long-time viewers like I, I suspect. It’s like the titular storyline just ended a Phase One (in which Doris gets her oats) or something. The storytelling on this show is amazing; it’s like mixing Cheers with The Dick Van Dyke Show with an epic novel.
I’d never literally make that leap from the ledge, though — a mibbit could get killed doing that!
True Fable
May 19th, 2009 at 2:35 am
#22 Mibbitmaker – Narrowest. Alleyway. Ever. It’s like it was made with only Mini-Coopers in mind.
Ed Power...or Cage...whatever ;)
May 19th, 2009 at 2:43 am
Wow. Thanks so much for the mention Josh. As someone who has been reading this blog since ‘Josh reads’ was actually part of the title, I’m truly flatterred.
Thanks. :)
As for the comments on Sunday’s strip: Yeah…Lily is BY FAR our most popular secondary character. You’ notice she’s the only secondary character with a t-shirt:
http://www.cafepress.com/mycagecomic/6692008
(She’s followed by Creepy-Janitor-Guy)
But again…thanks for the mention Josh. Much appreciated! :D
Canaduck
May 19th, 2009 at 2:48 am
Hurray! Thanks Josh!! And congrats to the other winners!
I will definitely be checking out your new blog, naturally.
Sparky AKA Able Bodied Seaman Craggy Fjord
May 19th, 2009 at 4:05 am
May 19th
S4th: This made me laugh. Good for Ted.
Luann: TJ seriously MUST be dead.
Dick: It’s clear the artist and writer are clueless — still the joke is better than most of the other legacy strips.
MoL: Joy.
Popeye: Joy. Always hated Castor.
Chert the Chort
May 19th, 2009 at 6:20 am
I neither “blog,” nor do I encourage them, thinking as I do that the very word “blog” (ahem.. weblog) is a sign of the impending collapse of the English language.
This website, however, I just pretend is another website, and a very funny one at that!
gleeb
May 19th, 2009 at 6:36 am
Lio: More labels, man.
9CL: Thorax. I ain’t readin’ that.
Edge City: Why would anyone avoid either of these two?
‘bean: Give too long a speech…cut it short.
Rocky & Godiva: Sam and Steve have turned out the lights to give Rocky a silent hint to wrap it up and get back to the meeting.
Sally: In her own masochistic way, Hillary misses the yelling.
Little Guy
May 19th, 2009 at 6:46 am
JP: Next! Jungle Housewife of Orange County finds out from hubby Tom Zarak that the secret ingredient is…. PEOPLE! (Dramatic Chipmunk Video Here)
MC & COTW: Ever see Mungeon Patrick and Norman in the same room together?
Sunday’s Tina’s Groove: That’s why they have Spoiler Space on reservation forms.
Jimmy
May 19th, 2009 at 6:49 am
Oh dear God in Heaven. It’s 6:45 AM and I’ve just seen Adrian running downstairs in a shift made of the same material as Mary’s bloody amoeba sweater. What the hell is going on in that house? And I’m afraid to look in my closet now… I think I’ll just stay home, nude and immobile, in front of the blank computer screen all day. It’ll be safer. I won’t look left or right, either.
Little Guy
May 19th, 2009 at 6:53 am
Second breath:
MT: Jackelrod goes into Funkyshaft territory and Mark has cancer. Sadly, this will mean the end of his Fists of Justice(TM), and he will turn cyborg.
mojo
May 19th, 2009 at 7:05 am
Congrats to the COTW and the float riders, as usual! Tuesday mornings are always the brighter for you folks!
May 19 MW: OMG OMG OMG! They’re building up Adrian answering the door WAY WAY too much! So very much, that if she opens the door and it’s NOT Crazy-Eyed Ted Out on Bail Holding a Large Butcher Knife and saying “Hell-LO, Queenie!”, I’m going to be soooo very, very BITTERLY disappointed. And so will Detective Leisure Suit, who will then miss the opportunity to walk in just in time, shout “Karate … CHOP!!” and save Adrian’s life anew, and thus win over the Skeptical Dr. Jeff forever.
P
May 19th, 2009 at 7:16 am
MW: HOT DOOR ANSWERING ACTION!
1981 Garage Sale: If only they had a strip the day after that had all the kids laughing, “Billy’s in the poor house! Greddy Billy’s in the poor house!”
Talking Squirrel
May 19th, 2009 at 7:23 am
RetroJP: It may be 1959, but Randy is already living in ‘69 … that philosophy, that spliff … the man was a visionary!
And how heartwarming to discover that our beloved Mary Worth was a legal secretary before retirement. I guess that’s a pretty good career for honing your meddling chops.
ColoZ
May 19th, 2009 at 7:28 am
Rusty saving for college? Someone needs to explain the facts of life in a time-frozen comic strip.
druidbros
May 19th, 2009 at 7:42 am
MW – As Adrian comes (and I use that term loosely, very loosely) down the stairs, her aura of stupidity begins to overpower her Dad and Mary to the point where they dont even acknowledge the doorbell has rung. Then, just to prove to everyone she is an alien, Adrian communicates via telepathy that SHE will answer the door.
temujin
May 19th, 2009 at 7:48 am
I love that Aldo is Josh’s avatar on Twitter. And that I knew who he was. Perhaps it isn’t so surprising that I didn’t get a promotion this year.
Ryl
May 19th, 2009 at 8:18 am
MW – Poor Jeff. He’s trying to break his daughter’s will to impress Mary, but Adrian just insists on acting perky about her new date. You’ve got a long way to go, Jeff, but thanks for trying!
hogenmogen
May 19th, 2009 at 8:23 am
JP: Since the readers already know that Rocky is talking about a horse, the dialogue is really excruciating and a waste. But YOWZA, there’s a hot chick to compensate!
MW: We know that Adrian can’t choose her own men, but now Mary has given her an old dress of hers to wear, too. Dr. Jeff thinks that he’ll challenge the detective’s skills. “Let’s see how good he is at finding me as I drift, chamelion-like, into the walls!”
I wonder, though, why Adrian thinks (not says) “I’ll get it.” What does she mean by “get it”? She can’t mean that she’ll answer the door. She’s at the door. Who else would answer the door? Why does she think it instead of say it? I can only deduce that she’s ready to throw her pent-up sexual frustration at the first non-related male that walks through the door. Five minutes later, Adrian and Wilbur Weston are smoking a cigarette in the doorway. “That’s a hell of a way to say ‘hello’, Adrian, but I came to ask your father a medical question.”
Spidey: Oh no! Yet another possible mistake that may reveal Parker as Spiderman! The average six year old could not possibly lie his way out of this one!
The Angry Duck: We can’t discuss the duck. Josh says it makes people upset. Mickey and Minnie are confused. Pluto looks forlorn. Goofy is perplexed. Oh, wait, not that duck? The other angry duck? Ok.
BB: Ah, those halcion days of Communism. The Red Enemy, the Evil Empire, the constant threat of nuclear armageddon. Sigh, times were so much simpler then.
Pozzo
May 19th, 2009 at 8:23 am
Wow, I think this is the first time I’ve made the cut two weeks in a row. No pressure…
Little Guy
May 19th, 2009 at 8:45 am
#8, #12: Along with his partner, Melissa DeSiddhartha.
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
May 19th, 2009 at 8:46 am
Rapid-fire snark!
Archie: In panel 3, Archie, Betty, and Dilton spit on Jughead’s lame “punchline,” as it deserves. Also, I think it’s official: Cammie’s got eyes only for Betty.
JP: Nobody sits like that. Not that I’m complaining, mind.
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
May 19th, 2009 at 8:54 am
Female cartoon characters I would like to see in their underwear:
1. June Morgan
2. Abby Spencer
3. Neddy Spencer
4. Any other adult female drawn by Eduardo Barretto
5. Mary-Jane Watson (nee Parker)
6. Mrs. Ghost-Who-Lucked-Out-In-The-Wife-Department
7. Brandi (Liberty Meadows)
.
.
23. Margo
24. Maureen Fox
25. Toni Daytona
26. Kelly Welly
.
.
42. That chipmunk-cheeked girl in Baldo
43. Lu Ann (A3G)
.
.
76. Luann (Luann)
77. Rose Gumbo
78. The mom from Zits
79. Zerbina the Pinhead
80. Ted Forth
.
.
119. Tommie
120. The mother in Baby Blues done
121. Anyone from Dinette Set
.
.
150. May Parker
151. Cathy
.
.
172. Loretta Lockhorn
173. Mary Worth
174. Any other female in Mary Worth
175. Grossie
176. Momma
hogenmogen
May 19th, 2009 at 8:58 am
Gil Throp is joining the 21st century, but obviously Snuffy Smiff and friends are still way back in the first part of the 20th. I don’t quite get this strip. Not just today, I mean the whole deal. Are they in the 1930s or are they in some Amish-like cult that keeps out visitors? It’s like they’re in the present day, but they’re so backwards from living in the hills of Kentucky that they don’t have modern conveniences or even a radio less than 70 years old. Where does the current author (John Rose) live? Has he even visited rural Kentucky? Say what you want about Batuik, but he obviously lives in small town Ohio, or lived there for his formative years. Scott Adams used to work at a large tech firm. Patrick McDonnell, who draws Mutts is obviously a pet lover and owner. All of these artists add to their craft by drawing from personal experience and feelings. Snuffy Smith is less factually based than Dik Browne doing Hagar or Walker doing Beetle Bailey. Sorry for the rant.
Of course, in ReFoob, we also get a healthy dose of the author’s personal experience shoved at us. Lynn Johnston was obviously a clean-freak suburban housewife with two hugely annoying kids and a existence seeped in quiet desparation of getting old without fulfilling any life plan or making a mark in the world, unless you count the dent she made in the pile of stinking, filthy laundry generated by the vain and inconsiderate men in her home. Why is it that 9 of 10 of these strips should end with the thought balloon “I hate my life and want to die”? “Sigh” indeed.
Perky Bird
May 19th, 2009 at 9:01 am
Wow, I thought the allergy medication was hampering my snark last week, but I see I was wrong! Thanks, Josh! *tosses chocolates and allergy meds to by-standers*
George R R
May 19th, 2009 at 9:02 am
Sally..that was funny in the last panel. I might have added just one more line..Hil-”Uh Mom, you think you should drive?”
hogenmogen
May 19th, 2009 at 9:02 am
Spider-Brick: At what number would be Blondie?
Betty & Veronica?
commodorejohn
May 19th, 2009 at 9:08 am
I’ve had it up to here with you Web 2.0 spazzes! Twitter! Faugh! I’d sooner post from a telegraph!
A3G – ?! is right. Although maybe Gabriella has just forgotten what it was that sets Mr. Magee apart from all the other bland white men in Apartment 3-G. Besides his hair, that is.
Archie – The ALGJU3K has learned that shirt patterns can in fact be used to emphasize a woman’s breasts. I think it’s been chatting with Eduardo Baretto.
AS – Today’s Argyle Sweater is moderately amusing, which is impressive enough, but HOLY CRAP THERE IS NO CAPTION! An entire Argyle Sweater without a single word to deaden whatever joke it has! Are the planets aligned or something?
BB – Beetle pines for the days of mutually-assured destruction and Cold War paranoia.
Crankshaft – “Oh God, she’s happy about being a failure! That makes her even more of a failure! How can we convince her to engage in ritual suicide so that our family will not be shamed by her worthlessness?”
DT – So didn’t we already see Jack get taken down last weekend? Locher has apparently learned to work with his non-linear time-flow in order to squeeze in even more savage mauling.
GA – Gertie has a man who lives in her thought balloons.
GT – Gil has discovered Goatse.cx.
JP – Do you think Baretto is possibly trying to make up for having to draw three days with no women in the strip?
Love Is… – simultaneous-no. No, too vile. Why is this strip printed?
Luann – “My only tangible expression of affection for you ever wasn’t my fault, honest!”
MT – So was this the shortest Mark Trail storyline ever, or what?
MW – Adrian flounces down the stairs like a ’60s sitcom daughter, then turns into some kind of space-out vamp to answer the door. And the scary part is that she’s the normal one of the people present.
SF – Ces wins.
Charterstoned
May 19th, 2009 at 9:09 am
I–I’m so thrilled I don’t know what to say except, “Thank you!” My brief ride on this week’s float makes me appreciate all the more those (usual) times when I’m cheering from the sidelines, and it makes me realize that we’re ALL winners! World peace!
kalki
May 19th, 2009 at 9:26 am
Baby Blues: Yeah, I’m sorry, but I would have had issues as a child and an adult if my parents paraded around naked in front of me…unless I’m part of a family of nudists living in Denmark and even then, the smile on my naked father’s face in the shower would put me off.
Blondie: “…even if I have to fuck with their heads to get that smile.”
Crank: Yeah, that’s the moment when you accept that your kid is a total loss and only hope that she chooses wisely between a career on her back at the Bunny Ranch or wiping drool off Hef’s chin at the Playboy mansion.
DTM: Lamont Cranston is back in town?
CircusJerk: I see all of Dad’s shit makes up the bulk of the garbage sale merchandise. Mom puts on her best “beaten down” look in hopes of getting some pity purchases.
FW: “And for a lot of you, like my ex-husband, that’ll be an 18 wheeler barreling down on your drunk-driving ass because your car is driving down the wrong side of the freeway.”
Hi/Lois: Am I the only one who finds this really creepy?
Luann: Wow…look at Toni’s body language, Brad. Arms folded across her chest…Legs crossed…Body angled away from you…You ain’t getting any of that, buddy.
S-M: “Break-in”? No, Pete, she’s talking about how the clowns from the Barnum & Bailey circus came over after you left and showed her a new way to apply clown white on her face without using hands.
buckyswife
May 19th, 2009 at 9:46 am
Great CsOTW–congratulations, all!
FC: Have no money? Just like to watch? I think Billy’s actually thinking of the story of how his parents met.
MW: Dr. Jeff begins to literally fade into the woodwork as Mary practices her look of concern in preparation for the meddleworthy situation to come. (And note, too, incidentally, that Adrian has cleverly copied the orange-and-pink color palette of the Cory abode.)
MT: I believe that Doc has contracted H&J Non-Specificity Syndrome. And who are “both of you”? Mark and Andy? Or does he mean Mark and Rusty, and Andy’s just waiting patiently for his cup of coffee?
buckyswife
May 19th, 2009 at 9:48 am
#17 Mibbitmaker–Okay, I have to reveal my ignorance and ask: What is HIMYM? (I’m intrigued because you paired it with one of my all-time favs, Arrested Development, as well as followed it with some of my current ones, such Office and 30 Rock.)
queek
May 19th, 2009 at 9:55 am
16: but you need a Buttercup (or other person to make a Power Trio) if you’re going to be responsible for “once again, the day has been saved!” :-D
TheDiva
May 19th, 2009 at 9:56 am
Wow, thanks Josh! And congrats to J and the rest!
BaBl: If I ever get to the point where I let my kids play a game in the master bath while my husband showers and I parade around in my underwear, I beg you to shoot me.
reFOOB: It never ceases to amaze me that a woman who sees motherhood as the only truly fulfilling role a woman can aspire to spends so much time depicting it as a miserable, joyless existence drudging away for ungrateful family members.
FW: If this is like any high school assembly I went too, by now 95% of the audience is chatting with their friends (or “texting” with those fancy-shmancy phones we didn’t have back in my day), making out, throwing wads of paper, or sleeping. The remaining 5% are teachers trying in vain to get the students to stop doing all of the above.
MW: In panel 2, Adrian struggles to remember how to master that complex piece of machinery known as a “door knob,” and mentally reassures herself that she will, eventually, figure it out.
Deena in OR
May 19th, 2009 at 9:56 am
buckyswife-”How I Met Your Mother”. Nice ensemble comedy. Neil Patrick Harris is in it, among many other actors who manage to hold their own with him.
Charles
May 19th, 2009 at 9:58 am
FW: “That’s it. I’m all out of cliches. Don’t forget to tip the waitstaff.”
ignatz
May 19th, 2009 at 9:59 am
The good news is that boobs have returned to Judge Parker. The bad news is that the mullet hasn’t left.
Cranky
May 19th, 2009 at 10:00 am
Nice to be on the float!
#43 Brick: #80 cost me a mouthful of coffee. Awesome.
Also, nobody from 9CL? Those characters were practically created to be imagined in their underwear.
Nate Fakes
May 19th, 2009 at 10:02 am
Look forward to checking out the new blog! The comment of the week is great as well. One day it will be MY comment, but I’m not clever enough on these reply pages.
buckyswife
May 19th, 2009 at 10:03 am
55 Deena–Thanks! (And now I feel especially dumb because that’s such a well-known show!)
Charles
May 19th, 2009 at 10:03 am
A3G: I see that Gabriella has somehow managed to master speaking the English language without ever being able to figure out the word “Yes”.
Calico
May 19th, 2009 at 10:05 am
#51 – Andy is a coffee achiever.
Brick Bradford
May 19th, 2009 at 10:08 am
MW I’m sure glad that Jeff is vetting Adrian’s dates from now on. After all, he isn’t so gullible that he’d be taken in by a smarmy manner, a pencil moustache, and a fake pledge to his favorite charity.
JP: I think my fossil is getting fueled.
buckyswife
May 19th, 2009 at 10:09 am
Pooch Cafe: We have a large powerful dog who used to be badly behaved on her leash. So a few years ago, my husband and I were walking her; I was a few feet ahead of him. Our dog suddenly took off running after something, full speed, and she yanked the handle of the retractable leash out of my husband’s hand. The handle went flying forward and hit me, leaving a very large… well, “bruise” is too weak a word for the … the contusion I had on my ass.
So I’m just saying, if that dog is on the world’s longest retractable leash, yes, when it hits him, he’s doomed.
Brick Bradford
May 19th, 2009 at 10:12 am
#43 Thanks for leaving out Olive Oyl.
I’d have added Betty and Veronica.
This is a hell of a conversation for a 56 year old man to be having, isn’t it?
o\'side
May 19th, 2009 at 10:17 am
54 – The Diva: MW Your doorknob explanation, superb!
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
May 19th, 2009 at 10:18 am
hogenmogen @ 47: That’s why I left gaps. Didn’t have time to consider where to put every female on the comics page. I’d put all three of them somewhere in the teens.
Cranky @ 58: We’ve already seen all the 9CL females in their underwear far too much, I think. Besides, I don’t want to encourage McEldowney.
CanuckDownSouth
May 19th, 2009 at 10:19 am
Oh… oh, my … Funky Cancerbean is actually *trying* to be inspirational. This is being played totally straight.
[deadeyes]You’re all going to fail. A lot. Pretend that’s a good thing. No, don’t *learn* from it, just live in fear so you don’t do it *again*[/deadeyes]
BWAHAHA-haahh.
Hibbleton
May 19th, 2009 at 10:26 am
#39 hogenmogen: JP: Since the readers already know that Rocky is talking about a horse, the dialogue is really excruciating and a waste. . . .
There was dialogue in today’s Judge Parker? I didn’t notice.
MT: Why is Mark offering Andy a cup of coffee?
Red Greenback
May 19th, 2009 at 10:46 am
Congrats to the comment of the week maker and the runners ups. Some I missed the first time and I lolled like a Snuffy Smith guy when I read’em, and the ones I saw before made me laugh more the second go-round. Like fine wine, they were.
Spider-Brick @#83: Thanx for leaving out the women of Ballard Street.
Mibbitmaker
May 19th, 2009 at 10:48 am
#52 (buckyswife): “How I Met Your Mother”. I used the Television without Pity abbreviation because I already spelled it out ythread when letting True Fable know he should watch (a goat!), and our discussion about that on these 2 threads, plus with Old School Alley Cat about shows we have in common (HIMYM & Arrested Development), also starting from ythread.
Winky's Spleen
May 19th, 2009 at 10:54 am
Crock – Oh dear, yet another comics character with Testicular Chin Syndrome. What can be done to prevent the spread of this malady, especially before it reaches FW and turns cancerous?
buckyswife
May 19th, 2009 at 10:56 am
71 Mibbitmaker–See, now that’s what I get for skimming the comments!
Artist formerly known as Ben
May 19th, 2009 at 10:58 am
5/19
Congratulations to the COTWers. And I’m looking forward to the Josh Fruhlinger Experience. I assume you cleared the name with Jimi’s ghost.
9CL: “Of course it’s fine if blondes use big words, as long as it’s obvious they didn’t put any thought into the sentence.”
HtH: Oh go ahead, Eddie. Do your Steve Martin.
Garfield: The sun is gigantic. Like it’s going supernova and is about to swallow the earth. So why am I in here reading Garfield?
BC: Okay, I have to admit that the Heirs of Johnny Hart came up with a pretty good one today.
MT: You know, I could walk up to any random two people on the street and say, “Thanks to both of you things turned out the way they did.” Moreover, I’d probably be right. Just sayin’.
MW: Has Fashion Police hit this one yet? Between Jeff’s chameleon shirt and Adrian stealing Goldie Hawn’s Laugh In minidress, it’s a feast.
BB: Plato’s the camp brain? He doesn’t seem to realize that Al Qaeda are just a subset of the “terrorists” class, and that Islamo-Fascists is a term used only in the Western media. At least Beetle is aware that they’ve been in the army since Stalin’s time.
DtM: What’s that? The new title is “Dennis the Quivering Bowl of Jelly”? Yeah, that fits.
WofI: As a tribute to Pink Floyd founder Syd Barrett this leaves something to be desired.
GT: “What’s this? Longer stronger boners for $19.99? There’s gotta be a catch.”
DT: “Um, I mean to say there’s a badge-carrying psychopath scooping out his eyeballs with a soup spoon.”
H&L: “Ooh, she just sent me a text message. ‘i m in ur hows d-flow-r-in ur son.’ Isn’t that just precious?”
Carlo
May 19th, 2009 at 10:59 am
I think I’m actually starting to prefer the ennui and despair of Funky Winkerbean to the sappiness of Luann.
Also, I don’t know if anyone mentioned this re: Monday’s Crankshaft, but do we have a reference point for how many students are in Mindy’s graduating class? If it’s, say, 700, then 164 ain’t so bad.
Little Guy
May 19th, 2009 at 11:03 am
75: 164 out of Whatever — My thoughts exactly. The problem with rankings is that someone will be first, second, third, etc…. no matter how superlative the class as a whole excels.
Heck, time was that you can have 99-win baseball team and not get into the playoffs, thanks to a bloop homer from a bleeping utility fielder, and…
Oh wait, what was I talking about?
Mibbitmaker
May 19th, 2009 at 11:09 am
9CL: Thorax doesn’t believe in Intelligent Design or Loni Anderson’s character from WKRP.
BBailey: Yep, we sure have lots of enemies, since there are many ways to say the same thing and all…
DtM: Dennis the Menaced
DT: Dick: “Hey, I’ll do the James Bondian commentary in bad puns, if you don’t mind!!”
GT: Gil just discovered the Comics Curmudgeon (Hey, from his point of view, that’s mind-blowing).
MW: Adrian, you’ll never “get it”.
Muffaroo
May 19th, 2009 at 11:13 am
Curtis – What horrible thing might happen if we, the readers, don’t see Curtis announce Derrick and “Onion” every bleeding time? What are we being protected from? How can we find out?
DTracy – “Now I’ll just ’slug’ you with my ‘fist’! Ho ho! Enjoy your ‘injury,’ Jack! Wait, was the receptionist talking over me all through the strip?”
Gfield – It’s a toss-up whether this would benefit most from having Garfield left out entirely or just taking out his thought balloon. Maybe for a change we could just leave in his feet and a couple of irregular leg stumps.
Marfield – Marvin uses a sandbox now? Does that mean no more crappy diaper jokes?
MWorth – Motion lines tell us that Adrian isn’t just standing like a statue in that off-balance position on the stairs. That matters, because she just might do it.
Rose is Bugs Bunny in Drag – She certainly has the right sort of brain to be one of them. (Just beware, birds, that you don’t fly too close to that hideous gaping maw, which is surely the last part of her that goes away when she slowly, slowly vanishes each night.)
SFox – The brave little cabbie! “I’m going to kill seven with one blow!”
Talking Squirrel @34 – Mary Worth was a legal secretary? I always thought she was in pre-medd’.
Charles @61 – Gabriella (shouldn’t that just have one “l” in it?) likes to say “sí” because it gives Anglos a chance to use 50% of the Spanish they remember from high school. If she was on TV, she’d speak Estación galgo, Bus station Spanish. Es una lingua bella, a beautiful language, in which everything is said dos veces, twice. Every TV show except Mencía that has Spanish-speaking characters uses this dialect, este dialecto.
kalki
May 19th, 2009 at 11:28 am
74 AFKAB:
That would probably explain the next photo to Lois with the horrified and slightly nauseous look on Trixie’s face.
Calvin's Cardboard Box
May 19th, 2009 at 11:29 am
Re: #75 and 76
Well, given that Crank is set in Centerville, Ohio, the size of the graduating class is likely about 700 – we had 686 of us in the mid-80s when I graduated. Black robes for everyone, and no streakers, either.
buckyswife
May 19th, 2009 at 11:44 am
Non-comics query: We’re traveling to the Frankfort, Kentucky, area for some bourbon tasting next week. Any restaurant recommendations from someone familiar with that area? We like just about anything, cheap to pricey, as long as it’s good and not a chain. (We’re staying in Versailles.)
Thanks!
Dondi\'s Dad
May 19th, 2009 at 12:19 pm
Thanks to the LA Times, we learn that in 1959 you could still smoke on airplanes, you could call a fight attendant “stewardess”, planes had curtains at the windows and aisles wide enough for two people to stand side-by-side, and you called the airline by telephone to check flight times rather than checking the web. Oh, and that Judge Parker was already intolerably dull and repulsively smug.
MaryAnnTheRest
May 19th, 2009 at 12:41 pm
That My Cage cafepress swag is seriously cute! I might get a Bridget T if I knew whether I was ever going to see her again.
MW: Did anyone else see Adrian running down the stairs and start humming –
“We’re gonna do it!
Give us any chance, we’ll take it!
Give us any rule, we’ll break it!
We’re gonna make our dreams come true!”
Perky Bird
May 19th, 2009 at 12:43 pm
RE: 1959 Judge Parker: That’s supposed to be a college student in the last panel?! Good grief, I think I know how college changed Randy Parker–it turned him into a wrinkled middle-aged man with a massively receeding hairline, lazy eyes, and “Gil Thorp Claw Hand” syndrome!
Artist formerly known as Ben
May 19th, 2009 at 12:48 pm
#79 kalki,
Quite right. The babysitter could put Chip down for a nap afterwards, but Trixie might never sleep again.
Bryan
May 19th, 2009 at 1:12 pm
83, MaryAnnTheRest: That My Cage cafepress swag is seriously cute! I might get a Bridget T if I knew whether I was ever going to see her again.
Ed Power said that our favorite disturbingly cute anthropomorphic dog would be back. Which is a good thing, as I don’t think I could take a strip devoted 100% to Norm feeling sorry for himself and monkey-wrenching possibly rewarding relationships. That hits a little too close to home for me.
temujin
May 19th, 2009 at 2:16 pm
#43: Mrs Dennis the Menace would be a lot more palatable than Momma, whom I’d rank a little lower than you: specifically at #infinity.
UncleJeff
May 19th, 2009 at 2:44 pm
JP (on Josh’s page): The role of “Randy Parker” was played in the 1950s by character actor James Gregory (”Barney Miller”)
Love Is: This is what happens when you forget to bring the right adaptors for your plug-in vibes when you’re traveling.
Fashion Police
May 19th, 2009 at 2:48 pm
Naughty Adrian! Naughty, naughty, naughty. The top of your stocking is showing. Garter belt or panty-girdle? Judging by her evil eye, Mary is wondering the same thing.
We too are puzzled by Jeff’s shirt. Earlier, Adrian turned a magenta dress black over her confrontation with Mr. Covice. Perhaps the ability to alter fabric is an inheritable trait in the Corey family.
Angry Kem
May 19th, 2009 at 2:50 pm
Hurrah for all the funny people!
Hurrah for a medievalised Garfield!
Hurrah for the scary, scary black button eyes in Love Is…! Those frightening floaty possessed naked prepubescent spouses would make good bit players in Coraline.
Hurrah for the utterly pointless sweat droplets in Archie!
Hurrah for Mary Worth, which tells us emphatically that a woman is not whole and complete without a big strong man in her life!
Hurrah for the stomach ache today’s comics have given me! Yaaaaaaaaay!
Poteet
May 19th, 2009 at 3:00 pm
# 43 Spectacular — Hahaha! Great list! I’m glad Kelly Welly made the cut.
It says more about me than the available selection, I suppose, but the list I’m thinking about is male cartoon characters whom I hope to God I’ll never see in their underwear. Unfortunately, for some of the more prominent candidates, it’s too late.
But there is one male character I deeply long to see in his underwear, and that’s Electro, because I want a better view of that meter he keeps in his crotch. I know I wasn’t drinking the day it showed up.
Poteet
May 19th, 2009 at 3:10 pm
# 18 Sir Fable MTK — Congratulations on your float ride! I wave my kerchief wildly.
And I just got a listserv message about how goats eat woody brush on tallgrass prairies, including black locust, which could make them eligible for canonization.
Steve
May 19th, 2009 at 3:27 pm
Old School 1950’s Judge Parker: One can only dream what glory Eduardo Barreto would have created with a panel featuring Randy Parker talking to a pair of airline stewardesses . . . .
Fashion Police
May 19th, 2009 at 3:34 pm
93 Steve:
We are grateful the era of skinny ties and plaid sports jackets has passed.
gnome de blog
May 19th, 2009 at 3:38 pm
92 Poteet:
There is real tallgrass prairie in Iowa? I thought the Flint Hills in Kansas and a patch down by Paris, Texas that’s artificially maintained by the USDA was all that was left.
More woody brush-eating goats, Mule!
queek
May 19th, 2009 at 3:57 pm
RwO is going to end up on a lot of bulliten boards, would be my guess. I got a big chuckle out of it, even if its been years since I had to go through that nonsense.
JHPants
May 19th, 2009 at 3:57 pm
Ooooo – I’m on the float! How exciting. Thanks to all the smart, funny people who bring the snark here. You’ve made a bad day/week/month better.
#21 True Fable & #71 Mibbitmaker – For more great goat action on the tv, check out Grass Valley Greg on Mr Show.
rewinn
May 19th, 2009 at 5:24 pm
Could not resist digg’ng the Beethoven film treatment:
digg it up here and let’s get Hollywood calling!
Caroline a.k.a. Lady Marmite Loire
May 20th, 2009 at 8:52 am
# 81 buckyswife: I stayed with friends in that area and we really didn’t do restaurants, but I highly recommend the Woodford Reserve distillery, they do a great tour and the bourbon’s great! WR is next to Versailles.