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Your COTW momentarily, but first: for those of you who missed my Stoop Storytelling appearance (which I’m assuming is pretty much all of you, seeing as I didn’t announce it until after tickets were sold out, because I’m a loser), the audio from said story is now online, and you can listen to it here! (Note that the audio will play as soon as the page loads, so make sure that anyone within earshot wants to hear the harrowing tale of my Jeopardy failure before you click.)

Also, anyone who views Luann’s treatment of human sexuality with mingled fascination and horror ought to check out faithful reader yellojkt’s Creepiest Luann Contest.

And now … your comment of the week!

“Wait, are we sure that’s a spy in today’s installment of Crock? Because from the list of his grievances, I’m pretty sure they’re about to execute Andy Rooney.” –BigTed

And the hilarious runners up!

“Is anyone besides me wondering what Doc does in that lab? Make the crystal meth that’s required to tolerate a conversation with Mark and Cherry? Keep Rusty’s animated corpse chugging along? Engineer the giant squirrels?” –buckyswife

“Given the many, many times that we’ve seen Marmaduke and Mrs. Hitler getting freak nasty, I think it’s clear that Marmaduke has a very intense foot fetish. The coquettish feigned innocence is part of the foreplay. And I am deeply disturbed that the preceding two sentences came out of my brain.” –The Ghost of Jarrod

“I can also forgive myself for not realizing that the knock-kneed swoon of Marmaduke-lady was meant to convey coy girlishness. I guess I always assumed she has the same problem that all of the blurry, floppy Marmaduke characters have: some sort of congenital spine disorder.” –Dumb Blonde

“I hate to dispute Margo, but as far as I can tell: Not ending up with Tommie for the rest of your life = Success!” –Darkefang

“By my count there are at least three crimes against hand-nature in this Gil Thorp: the disembodied monstrosity and the headslap flipper in panel 1, and the face-graft in panel 2. It’s getting sexier in here already!” –Steve S

“Yes, yes, this being Gil Thorp, the sexy swimsuit issue will feature a fully-clothed girl talking to another through the bathroom door as the latter changes; then some random hands; maybe some field hockey the next day; and Gil and Kaz describing all of it in the coach’s office come August.” –teddytoad

“I’m confused. When Margo says, ‘that mistake could have been fatal,’ exactly whom is she threatening to kill? And please, couldn’t she go ahead and kill that person anyway?” –Nekrotzar

“He certainly couldn’t literally bore someone to death, because if boredom could actually kill, all of Tommie’s ‘friends’ would’ve died years ago.” –Alan’s Addiction, wondering how anything involving Gary could possibly be fatal

“More likely, the infamous Charterstone pool party erupts in a cavalcade of conservationist antics, as Trail and boy-ward Rusty capture Ian Cameron in a net, mistaking him for some sort of man-bear hybrid/missing link.” –Jilliterate, on the possibility of a Mark TrailMary Worth crossover

“Ahh, the joys of youth, when you can fit into a soft drink carton bikini instead of having to wear a soft drink carton one-piece, which just looks ridiculous.” –Rob

“This being Gil Thorp, I’m fairly certain that they won’t be using the word ‘sexting’. I can hardly wait to see what suitably Puratinco-Luddite phrase Gil will coin to refer to the phenomenon of ‘taking cell phone photos of adolescent girls in swimwear that looks suspiciously like a leftover costume from a 1932 Flash Gordon serial.'” –annabanana

“I think I may just take a liking to Delilah. She already has the best hair of any Mary Worth guest star dating back to Chester the Dog, and she’s sly enough not to say too much over the phone, which for all she knows is plugged into the Charterstone public address system.” –Mooncattie

“Of course Mark didn’t see anything written on the barrel when he was standing right in front of it. Mark’s just reading the brand name of the magnifier etched on the edge of the lens. ‘I’ve found the culprit: Bausch and his partner Lomb!'” –NotThatGuy

“Gil and Kaz are getting bombed on the sidelines, and why the hell not. We only have to read Gil Thorp; they have to live it.” –Charlene

“It should be noted that the rule for reading Wolverine/Spidey team-ups is always to read it like they’re seeing each other having once upon a time had an awkward one-night stand.” –Papers

“We get it, Crock. The characters are French. There is no need to strap one to a baguette.” –Isaac

“I love how the folks behind the Spider-Man daily tease us with the visages of all these cool supervillains in panel two, only to completely let us down by showing supposedly bad-ass Wolverine wearing a jogging suit in panel four and what appears to be vintage captoe swing-dancing shoes in panel five.” –Three Owls

He hates Facebook, get it? Because the people who write the comic are friendless non-entities.” –It’s time to pay the price

“Some of you may laugh at the idea of Mark doing research on the Google and all. But when he can’t find what he wants and he punches the Internet, we’re ALL going to be sorry.” –buckyswife

“At last, today’s strip gives me what I’ve always wanted in Gil Thorp: all of the ‘different’ ‘characters’ lying on the ground, dead or dying. I hope this lasts all week!” –Hip Young Urban Plugger

“We long to see Mary Worth re-imagined as a Victorian melodrama. We should be careful what we wish for. Apparently, Ms. Moy and Mr. Giella can only reach back to 1967, and that only via an old Playboy discovered in Mr. Giella’s hope chest.” –Fashion Police

“I assume ‘I am the second officer!’ is more of a threat. ‘I have set this ship to crash upon the rocks and only I can undo it! Mua ha ha ha!'” –Carly

“You gotta love Toby’s superb display of passive aggression: ‘We’re so looking forward to our trip to Scotland!‘ (Leaning in for the kill shot of a sympathetic hand on the shoulder:) ‘Where was it you’re going to spend your summer, Mary dear?’ On the other hand, maybe it’s all a ruse for slipping some particularly loathsome corrosive agent in Mary’s drink. If so, I will buy Toby the 15-inch rubber sex toy of her choice.” –boojum

And PeteMoss, capping a discussion of comics ladies and their shoe-shopping ways, made me laugh with “‘I once complained about shopping for shoes, until I met a man who was shopping for feet.’ — Ziggy”

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