Metapost: Margo-fearin’ comments of the week!
Your COTW momentarily, but first, I must once again point you in the direction of blog post from Margaret Shulock, writer for Apartment 3-G. Not only is Shulock the mind behind the A3G storylines and one of the six chicks of Six Chix, she’s also, as this post revealed, one of the writers for Snuffy Smith! Mind-bogglingly, this blog post shows that Snuffyisms sometimes start drifting into the A3G world, and, in this follow-up comment, reveals that she knows all too well how terrifying Margo Magee is. (Thanks to faithful reader Greg for the tip!)
Ahem! And with that, here is your COMMENT OF THE WEEK!
“Is there some reason why Daddy Keane spends his week off standing around at home, wearing a coat and tie, yelling at his spouse? Maybe I’m misunderstanding. Maybe Billy doesn’t mean ‘off’ as in ‘off work,’ but as in ‘do these leftovers smell a bit off?’” –wagmore barkless
And the amusing runners-up!
“Kudos to Mr. Woody Wilson for this delightfully silly story. However, he missed a wonderful opportunity. With better timing, Godiva could have made her entrance at cheerleader tryouts riding a horse, just like her namesake. We wouldn’t have to cringe at her ill-fitting capri pants.” –Fashion Police
“‘Let’s not grow old’? Sorry, Garfield’s schtick grew old some time during the Reagan administration.” –sully
“Why is Shannon such an apparently angry child? Because she’s drawn poorly? Because the ‘fun afternoon’ cousin Toni promised is ‘visiting’ with a banged-up invalid? Because Brad doesn’t have cable?” –bats :[
“The theme of this week’s Family Circus is the Keanes’ inevitable decline into homelessness. Tuesday was the revelation of the empty bank account. Wednesday, Daddy is kicking snack machines in order to get free groceries. By Friday, the Keanes will be living in their car, with Jeffy firmly locked in the trunk.” –Elizabeth Helena
“In today’s Wild Kingdom of Suburbia, the mother soothes her daughter’s nerves by picking the nits out of her hair. This is a gesture of affection between primates and not at all creepy.” –Li’l Bunnë FooFoo
On “sexting” in Gil Thorp: “Maybe there’s a more appropriate term better suited to this plot. PG-thirteening? Textitlating? Annoying?” –PeteMoss
“Now look, you two, we all know the human body is an eldritch, terrifying thing, but as gym teachers I figure you two are the closest I have on staff to understanding it. Please deal with the charges of mild nudity that have been brought to my attention while I sit here learning new portmanteaus from the Internet. ” –Black Drazon
“Add ‘unusually strong wrists’ to Delilah’s list of accomplishments (right under: ‘is prodigy’). I’ve never seen anyone hold an entire galvanized bucket full of the severed fingers of children at quite that angle.” –Jeremiah
“If we want to talk about felonies, does Dr. Pearl know that two of her coaches are knowingly attempting to give the entire baseball team hyperthermia?” –Alan’s Addiction
“That first panel in Gil Thorp is so full of despair. Letter-M t-shirt guy sits next to a girl crying into her giant ravioli. Maybe it’s because they only have mucilage to drink.” –Patrick
“‘Where’s Town Park Beach?’ ‘Down behind Town Park Beach Hill, just follow Town Park Beach Road.’ ‘Ah, next to Town Park Beach Park!’ Well, at least they’re concrete. Herb and Jamaal would call them all ‘Noun Noun Noun Noun’.” –5-Sigma Freud
“Finally, headway has been made for a Family Circus-themed video game. ‘Bil Keane’s Pro Skater’ is slated to hit shelves December 14, 2009. I’ve got a lawn chair and a blanket, ready to camp out on the sidewalk along my nearest Best Buy. Black dashed line Easter Egg, bitches!” –Thorzul
“Meanwhile Lu Ann is, predictably, baffled and terrified by the phone’s evil magic. ‘When are you coming home, baby?’ [Crickets.] ‘But, I AM home … Ruby?!? Is that you? Where’s Tommie? How’d you get in the little box with TOMMIE?!’” –boojum
“In the first pic, ‘Daddy’s’ actually surprised at the news of his cuckoldry; in the second, he’s grown accustomed to it. ‘Yes, that’s your mother’s cult leader, alright.’” –Rock Ripsnort
“It’s kind of sad that Billy (age 7) has a better grasp on actual human body proportions than either his dad or his creator. Maybe years of sneaking peeks at daddy’s secret magazines and a house with no mirrors (or ‘devil glass’) has actually taught him an artistic skill, which shall be beaten out of him once the pastor is summoned.” –walty
“My God, Crankshaft is the most likable character in this strip! I wish I could jump into the strip and do something really offensive on their kitchen floor. You wanna act horrified? I’ll give ya something to be horrified about!” –Donald the Anarchist
“What’s a ‘tramp stamp’? Does it have something to do with ‘sexting’? Did Time or Newsweek happen to write about this?” –teddytoad
“I love how the Hitler family is too afraid of Maramduke to clean up the growing pile of picnic baskets, despite the potential attention of the police. Perhaps they hope a SWAT team will finally take down the beast. They are wrong.” –Naked Bunny with a Whip
“The artists at Mary Worth must own dogs. The expression she wears, the angle of her head when she asks Delilah what’s stopping her, is identical to that of a basset hound who walks in on a couple having sex.” –NoahSnark
“I’m constantly amazed that anyone in Funky Winkerbean would name their child something as upbeat as Summer when there are far bleaker and more depressing seasons available.” –Carrie
“Wow, Mary Worth. Way to jump right into someone’s personal business. ‘Larry and I wanted to have children of our own.’ ‘What’s stopping you? ARE YOU BARREN?’” –Mdgoldrush1984
“I can’t ask him to stop … but I can make him, by stabbing him with this eating utensil.” –Carly
“I must figure out how to enlarge that second panel with Mary’s face and print it out so I can put it on my fridge. I can feel the pounds dropping off now.” –Poteet
“So, Delilah’s favorite dish is ‘chunks.’ Toby prefers briquettes, while Jeff likes slabs. Put them together, and you’ve got the combo meal at the Olive Garden in Hell.” –gkl
“Beetle Bailey gives us a whole strip full of punching/eating puns, yet there’s not a single mention of the ‘knuckle sandwich.’ What have these guys been doing all these years, if not memorizing the language of vicious beatings?” –BigTed
I give prodigious thanks to those who put some money in my tip jar — you know who you are! I’d also thank our advertisers … if there were any who bought BlogAds ads, and who thus get thanked every week! Sadly, there aren’t any this week — maybe next week I’ll be thanking you! To find out more about advertising on this site, click here.
Lou Shumaker
June 22nd, 2009 at 10:13 pm
Wow, the voices in Shulock’s head sounds like a Cracker Barrel somewhere between New York and Dogpatch. I expect to see her a year from now, wheeling a shopping cart full of garbage down by the train station., muttering.
Mibbitmaker
June 22nd, 2009 at 10:21 pm
Whattayaknow, Josh coming up with “the ‘V’ word” being vasectomy in “Marmaduke” and putting that in a post after I’d done likewise (”great minds…”, etc) in comments really was the next best thing to getting on the COTW list this week.
rapid turtle
June 22nd, 2009 at 10:22 pm
god, being a writer for snuffy smith…honestly I had no idea such a thing existed. I always assumed it was created through spontaneous generation, perhaps between a Lil Abner collection and a Hee-Haw box set.
Carly
June 22nd, 2009 at 10:27 pm
It’s sad that I didn’t understand that Beetle Bailey at ALL until the COTW just explained it to me. I am totally and utterly pun-challenged.
Also, two weeks in a row? D: Wow!
And gkl, I like your explanation. Mary Worth secretly takes place in hell and Mary is the devil. That would explain so much.
Canaduck
June 22nd, 2009 at 10:33 pm
Congrats to the winners! NoahSnark made me laugh hardest of all, but you are all awesome.
commodorejohn
June 22nd, 2009 at 10:34 pm
I like that even Shulock admits that Snuffy Smith isn’t that funny.
Cedar
June 22nd, 2009 at 10:34 pm
Wow-Shulock’s sketch for Snuffy Smith is more interesting and engaging to me than the actual artwork for the strip. I’m also glad not to see any slack-jawed, tongue waggling laughter.
bats :[
June 22nd, 2009 at 10:36 pm
Yay, the Big Floater (wagmore barkless)and the little floaters, too (like me!). WHoooooo! I am short of breath reading boojum’s and gkl’s comments. I want to go to Olive Garden now.
bats :[
June 22nd, 2009 at 10:39 pm
And for the record, it’s probably a Good Thing that the MT story-arc with Rusty and his camera (and Sassy, too!) is over. With the end of Kodachrome production, it would’ve been ugly to see Mark, with his vast understanding of corporate business practices, roaming the halls, itchin’ to punch out Kodak.
buckyswife
June 22nd, 2009 at 10:47 pm
See, if those Advanced-Placement essays had had you all as the writers—well, I would have had a much more enjoyable seven days of reading! Congrats on very funny CsOTW!
Poteet
June 22nd, 2009 at 11:05 pm
Congratulations to winner wagmore barkless and you other very funny float-riders! I’m so happy to be riding with you. Chocolate-tossing shall now commence.
Muffaroo
June 22nd, 2009 at 11:06 pm
Canaduck, I’m with you. NoahSnark was aces.
It's time to pay the price
June 22nd, 2009 at 11:07 pm
snubbed again, it never gets any easier
congrats to the winner and runner up either way
Poteet
June 22nd, 2009 at 11:08 pm
# 10 buckyswife — Seven days of reading Advanced-Placement essays?! Extra chocolate for you!
sugarpie
June 22nd, 2009 at 11:21 pm
Haw, Haw, Haw! Congratulations to Wagmore, and bats:[ and Poteet and NoahSnark and all the rest! Great Job!
Uncle Lumpy
June 22nd, 2009 at 11:22 pm
I took the AP English test a long, long time ago, and finished my essay (on Hemingway) well before the time was up.
Since they wouldn’t let us leave early (dunno why), I doodled a cartoon on my test paper, helpfully labeling the elements “Old Man”, “Sea”, “Boat”, and (my favorite) “Fish.” Kind of like Sherman’s Lagoon, with a little bit of Funky Winkerbean vibe.
Roto13
June 22nd, 2009 at 11:29 pm
Mdgoldrush1984’s comment actually made me hurt myself with laughter.
True Fable
June 22nd, 2009 at 11:41 pm
Congratulations to wagmore barkless and all the Float Riders!
True Fable
June 22nd, 2009 at 11:54 pm
bats :[ – I read your recent Mark Trail parody from yesterthread and loved it (as usual!) I think the key phrase that I loved the most was:
“Its true! I read that somewhere!”
I could just hear this overzealous man’s voice, the verbal equivalent of a spaniel puppy, as he enthusiastically endorses hearsay evidence! I think it’s the exclamation point that really does it! It’s so Trailian!
True Fable
June 23rd, 2009 at 12:12 am
Fist O Justice Theater Of course Mark didn’t say anything of the sort, Cherry! You know Mark only identifies females if their markings are dull so as to blend in with the environment!
See, she’s even physically attacking him, jealously assuming that every woman he runs into is young and pretty (because they almost always are). She’s STILL REMEMERING SAM HILL. Yes! Our Sam (not Sam) Hill really lit a fire of worry under Cherry’s tail.
What a world, where CEOs are either crooks or pretty young women who are fated to falll for some goofy Boy Scout doofus!
wagmore barkless
June 23rd, 2009 at 12:15 am
I … um, wow! Of course it’s an honor just to be nominated, but … wow! Now, what is the exact wording that I add to my resume?
And honestly, I thought others were funnier, especially Carrie and Mdgoldrush1984. Plus I think there should be a whole category just for bats:[
True Fable
June 23rd, 2009 at 12:23 am
Sam Driver, Chick Magnet Reality? REALITY?!? Surely you are shittin’ me, Sophie. How did reality come into a comic strip where – look at the default title! – the main character magically and inexplicably instantly attracts the hot-looking women he comes into contact with? And that same man doesn’t show any attraction to them in the least, not even his own wife? And where there is actually Mark Trail-proportioned head room in a little sports car with four people stuffed in it? And you say REALITY has happened to you, when a supposedly Brangelina-style Hollywood Power Couple is heading to school at that very minute, with the entire Pilot’s Union and half the town following in their wake, all because little Sophie is going to cheerleading tryouts against some Mean Girls?
Srsly?
Poteet
June 23rd, 2009 at 12:31 am
# 21 wagmore — When you least expect it, you’re selected, it’s your lucky day. Smile:-).
6/23 — Thank you to you Mudges who, yesterthreadly, assured me that it is indeed okay to snark as soon as the comics are up on Chron.
A3G — This is marvelous! This strip makes me feel as if I’m in India myself. The delicate visual evocation of the land of the Indus is so skillful that I can almost smell the sacred cows. Oh yeah.
True Fable
June 23rd, 2009 at 12:32 am
Rex Morgan, Man Whore J. Jonah Jameson captained the ship? Oh, that explains everything.
Meddle House Child, Please. “Fun” and “Intimate” are two words that Mary Worth cannot possibly work with. They are foreign words to her, doll.
I mean, Mary is seriously asking a question in the first panel; that’s not a rhetorical question, sweetcakes. She’s heard about this “joy” concept as it pertains to marriage or at least, the marriage she knew, and she’s trying to figure out what it is, and if she can possibly stamp it out in time to bathe in the pathos of your pitifully dense mind.
Poteet
June 23rd, 2009 at 12:36 am
# 22 Sir Fable MTK — Well put.
True Fable
June 23rd, 2009 at 12:53 am
India 3-G “Dad, there are cows in the street. Are we in South Dakota with Luann?”
The Amazing Wolverine Logan has done more in today’s second panel than Spidey has done in the last two years.
Faulty Winkerstinker hell, man – EVERYTHING about this strip is enough to make people cry. here in Batiukworld, there is not only crying in baseball, there’s openly wailing spectators as well.
C’haft I don’t know why the parents were so worried about Mindy’s future when they can’t even deal with things themselves. At least she can remember where the fucking “on” switch is and what keys to press.
Children of the Circle And in the daytime…? Even Jeffy doesn’t look like he’s buying this story, although he may be distracted by whatever he’s doing with his left hand.
True Fable
June 23rd, 2009 at 12:54 am
#25 Thank you, my queen! :)
boojum
June 23rd, 2009 at 12:57 am
Woo-hoo! Thanks, Josh! And congrats to all the float riders who are funnier than I am.
bats:[ — Endless Salad Bowl is on me!
wagmore barkless @ 21: I believe the accepted form is, “Funniest Human on the Internet, 2009.” It’s best to leave some of the details vague.
Frank Parsnip
June 23rd, 2009 at 1:08 am
Congrats to the COTWeekers! Great stuff including some gems I’d missed the first time around!
MW: So Delilah found that going out on tour with Lawrence was a drag? That’s exactly what he wanted you to think. And it’ll only be when the videos of him with the Mudlark track team show up on Youtube that she’ll get wind.
As a complete sidenote, I recently saw a video clip of Tom Jones singing “Delilah” in 1967 on Top of the Pops, and it was impressive to see how little rhythm the people in the crowd had for trying to dance to that song. My guess is that the song is basically done to a waltz tempo, which makes it hard to dance to if you’re trying to fling your arms about.
MT: Cherry: “Did you say she was young and pretty?” Mark: “No, I was still talking about those drums. But now that you mention it, she didn’t have your huge freakish head.”
A3G: If Margo is only expressing shock at the cows in the street, she must be terribly jetlagged. In normal Margo mode, she’d have certainly physically grabbed persons defecating on the sides of roads and lectured them into building latrines on the spot.
Marvin: If decapitation weren’t illegal in most states, she’d help her mom lose 10 pounds of useless flab.
Jugs Parker: One more sad disappointment for Sophie, and she’ll be back to wearing violet pantsuits to school again.
Sex Organ, M.D.: He’s a military helicopter pilot but with just a few favors swapped around, he’ll be able to meet the ship in Barbados to pick up his wife and son in an Apache.
DtM: Dennis not being able to read a sign covered with numbers, is simply creepy and not menacing at all.
Curtis: OK, panel 3 with the eyes on top of each other is really starting to freak me out….
Beetle Bailey: Sarge knows that he needs to tear up a letter like this before the army’s censors get to it. Panel 2’s “The trouble is I’m just afraid of women. What can I do?” would pretty much leave “Dear Abby” with nothing to respond but to suggest for him to fill that enormous empty spot inside him with either food or a cock. Given that they are fond of creating stereotype characters, if the U.S. military ever decides to allow openly gay servicemen and women, Sgt. Snorkel’s preferences can surely be treated with the same sensitivity as the other racial-minority characters introduced over the years.
Blondie: I actually liked this. Reminds me of the sushi restaurants where the chef makes up his own mind of what sort of sushi you ought to be getting.
Die Phantom: What, like Stripey Pants is now the Bad Day Fairy? Why doesn’t he use his powers for good instead of evil?!?
Parmalat Loire
June 23rd, 2009 at 1:16 am
Cathy – You know, I loathe Cathy like a normal person. I didn’t think I could loathe Cathy further than I already do, but then there has to be a series about animals in people clothes. Because the animals being Irvine and Cathy’s “children” isn’t animal abuse enough for them, they have to be dressed up like studio-era child stars prostituting themselves for the screen, and pushed around in a carriage to ensure that they end up as overweight and unhealthy as their owners. Oh, Cathy, can even you limbo under the low set by THIS bar for a next time?
Luann – Having dated three Australian men, I can say that they do use strange colloquialisms in a charming accent that can be hard to follow. Sometimes at the most surprising moments do they choose to deliver such phrases. However, Quill will never be in such a situation, because nobody in Luann ever has or ever will have sex.
Mary Worth – Please, never use the word “intimate” in Mary Worth again. While I’m sure that such an overused aphorism makes Mary Worth wet in ways that only using salmon and/or scampi in ways that no deity ever intended can ever compare to.
OBH – What a perfect commentary on Cathy today. This reminds me of why I love OBH. Besides the fact that the strip is also full of children confessing to what profoundly illegal behaviour they engage in every so often.
Poteet
June 23rd, 2009 at 1:20 am
RMMD — I remain suspicious that we are somehow going to end up being stuck with Willy as a permanent cast member. I announce this hoping desperately that if I predict it will happen, it won’t.
True Fable
June 23rd, 2009 at 1:22 am
Dont Ask Dont Tell Sarge does not tell Dear Abby the truth. It’s not that he’s afraid of women; it’s just that he prefers sex with young men like Private Bailey.
IFHZ I like the chicken. It’s the best looking member of the cast.
9 Dickweed Lane You and me both, brudder. And I’m not crazy about you either.
Crack Somebody’s doing some impressive drugs, to come up with the giant pencil “joke”.
Dennis Schmenace You know, I don’t feel a bit sorry for Alice Mitchell. She’s in a shop where she doesn’t HAVE to be; it’s not like she’s grocery shopping or a pharmacy. No, she’s idly looking around in an antiques place or furniture store or some damn thing, and she’s brought along her rugrat KNOWING what a destructive little beast he can be.
Go home, Alice. Take your anti-social little bastard and stop trying to impress readers with your love of antiquities. We know it’s just a cry for help in getting away from your white-picket prison. We’re more impressed with your figure than your shopping habits, anyway.
Rock Ripsnort
June 23rd, 2009 at 1:39 am
Holy codfish balls, I’m on the float at last! Now, who do I have to push off to get COTW?
True Fable
June 23rd, 2009 at 1:39 am
Sweet and Shallow My son Sweet Fable had an Australian roommate last year at college. He talked the guy into saying movie and TV catch phrases in that wonderfully chewy Aussie accent (”Crikey!” “That’s not a knife…now THAT’S a knife!”) and in return Sweet interpreted the varieties of Southern drawls. Ah, cultural exchange!
Mibbitmaker
June 23rd, 2009 at 2:38 am
nw 1s:
BBailey… is now “Beetle Winkerbean”!
666CL: For once, I agree with Hateful Despicable Fake-God.
A3G: “Right back atcha!”, said the cow to Margo.
BC1: Now you know how all comic strip readers feel.
BC2: That must be the ancestor to Brak’s dad.
BBC2: A television channel in Britain.
S4th, as written by Ted Forth.
GA: They’re already being punished for this scam — God took away her nose!
MT: The fish: “IGOTTAGETOUTTAHERE!!! Am… am I outta the strip yet?? I was trying to escape! Is this out???…”
Bigbigbig Dog: “It’s… the fringe benefits.” EEEEEWWWWWW!!!
R&R: Miss Sunday Mark Trail during the week? Red & Rover are here to help!
RMMD: Well, looks like June’s got a leg up on the matter…. um…. she’s thighsing up the situation… I mean……
Mibbitmaker
June 23rd, 2009 at 2:48 am
#35 (me), a correction:
BBlues, as written by Ted Forth.
Not S4th.
The S4ths that Ted wrote were the ones where he stood up to Sally. His Baby Blues scripts are just to get his frustrations out, his S4ths are mainly wish fulfillment.
Everybody knows that.
Goodnight, folks.
KarMann
June 23rd, 2009 at 2:53 am
Fred Basset has followed in the steps of the Circle, I see. Big shoes to fill… what do basset hounds usually fill shoes with?
boojum
June 23rd, 2009 at 3:47 am
MW: “Oh, sure, it was fun for a while — that carefree, piss-in-the-wind, transitory life of the itinerant lecturer in philosophy. Many’s the time my man would join up with the other colorful carny folk down at the river outside town. Someone, nimble-fingered and silent, would have found a carelessly guarded henhouse, and we’d feast on that garlicky peasant stew of theirs — perfect, except for its lack of apricot-colored, cartilaginous lumps. The dark-eyed professor’s wives, silver glinting in their ears, would sit murmuring around the fire in their dusky-soft voices, sharing Latinate quotations and secret tales of sexual depravity. Sometimes I let them, and their men, have their way with me — why not? Life is only a dream, and the trees carry no tales. The next morning the townsfolk would arrive to find us gone, piles of empty Chardonnay bottles and a few scraps of Schopenhauer the only sign that our caravan had been there in the secret night… and had now moved on.”
By the way, prodigy (*snort*), the word you’re looking for is ‘transient,’ not ‘transitory.’ Guess it doesn’t take much to shine in the company of Chinbeard and Toeby.
MjOz
June 23rd, 2009 at 4:37 am
Luann – Australians don’t use ‘fair dinkum’ in that circumstance. ‘Too right’, ‘dead straight’ are phrases that we might use. It’s possible of course that Quill (?) is playing with their tiny minds. It’s also possible he’s learning from our current Prime Minister how to use Australian slang badly.
Frozen
June 23rd, 2009 at 6:06 am
Ya know, once, just once, I think that the 3-G/SS writer should switch the dialog between the comics:
Tommie: Hello thar, Margo. What’er ya puttin’ that thar spike strip in th’ middle o’ the road fer?
Margo: Ruby spotted anuther family o’ campers travelin’ this way. Start diggin’ another hole.
Big Sims
June 23rd, 2009 at 6:49 am
HH – Did Lucky Eddie just ‘tap’ that ass?
Word.
PS Congrats all ye Float Riders! Hysterical stuff as usual!
LITTLE A. OF THE GRAND CONCOURSE JUNGLE PATROL
June 23rd, 2009 at 6:54 am
A3G: I am not sure how old Margo is supposed to be, but she looks around 50 lately.
And she hasn’t changed her goddam clothes. Did she sleep in her clothes? Unless she only brought along one set of clothes. She got that blue pastel suit in the same shop Mary Worth shops in for her clothes.
Little Guy
June 23rd, 2009 at 7:14 am
Congrats to wagmore barkless and the Floaters!
Luann: And thus start the great generational debate – what earworm enters your mind when you see the last panel: “Down Under” by Men at Work, “Tie Me Kangaroo” by Rolf Harris, the traditional “Waltzing Matilda”, or the Outback Steak House jingle?
RMMD: Dang, they *can* find a way to work June in a bikini in any situation.
JP: Prediction: Sophie pulls out. Organians nod in approval. Godiva muses “It would have been glorious”.
MC: Remember last week what I said about
kissingmeeting her ex-husband’s girlfriend? In the alternate-MC, the article would have gone to Penthouse.Pozzo
June 23rd, 2009 at 7:40 am
Re: “Town Park Beach” – There’s a sign as you approach Cincinnati announcing an upcoming exit for “Ballpark Stadium Arena.” Granted, those are three separate locations, but I like to think of them as one grand, generic sports complex, where all good Milford athletes dream of one day competing.
gleeb
June 23rd, 2009 at 8:01 am
Brenda: Why not? Brenda’s posed as a working journalist for years now. When’s the last time she actually turned in some copy, excepting the one story on the dead body the fake urchin led her to?
A3-G: Go-go Margo is too busy to read it herself, Martin. Just tell her! Then turn to the story about the murdered journalists.
’shaft: What did I just find at http://www.kent.edu/orientation?
“Thank You for visiting the Kent State University Web site. We apologize for the fact that the page you are looking for cannot be found on this server.”
I think Batiuk may have caused a rush to see if it all could be done in one click, and crashed their server. Whatever he touches turns to bitter misery.
Gil: Shoving action! That Shep’s probably a pinko, too, just like his Uncle Dalton.
Sophie, a Study in Moppishness: Too bad for you and reality. Principal Norton’s neck is out a long way on this, and you’re going to that tryout, Missy!
Mark: What would liven up this dull exposition? How about a Dramatic Trout?
Bryan
June 23rd, 2009 at 8:08 am
Apartment 3-G: No, they’re talking about that other American held in a Chinese prison with a lama.
Crankshaft: So, if I understand yesterday’s comments correctly, Kent State was renamed to Kent because of the unpleasantness a few years ago? Because “Kent” just makes me think of cigarettes with the patented Micronite filter.
For Better or For Worse: Yes, it was his lust for reading that made Michael such a natural author.
Funk Winkerbean: Or it would have if he a) weren’t dead and b) had anything whatsoever to do with baseball.
Gasoline Alley: Damn, nice job on the crotch, Scancarelli.
Hagar the Horrible: About time somebody in this stip acted like a damn Viking.
Peanuts: “And then we were killed by a flock of enraged birds.”
The Brilliant Mind of Edison Lee: Come on, wolves!
tb4000
June 23rd, 2009 at 8:20 am
Luann: Obviously both Tiff and Luann are praying for old Quill to put his shrimp in one of their barbis, but he already realizes what a train wreck both of them are just from his first appearance.
anonymous
June 23rd, 2009 at 9:21 am
#31 – I hope that little fat load is shuttled right back to his grieving daddy – pronto (which in RMMD world is sometime later this year). I don’t think (I hope) he’ll stick around and become Lil’ Adopted Brudder because Rex n’ June, do-gooders that they are, catch and release. I had high hopes spiky haired anime boy from New Orleans would join the team, but he left to go live with his total loser of a mother.
buckyswife
June 23rd, 2009 at 9:40 am
#14 Poteet and #16 Uncle Lumpy–Yep, 7 days of student prose, 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. And this wasn’t even the Literature test—it was the composition test. So I spent 7 days reading arguments about …. space exploration.
There WERE some good drawings, though!
buckyswife
June 23rd, 2009 at 9:45 am
Zits: Today’s strip was guest-authored by Mort Walker “Humor” Inc.
JP: Since Sophie’s feeling so insecure, it’s a good thing that cheerleading tryouts are closed to the public. Because if one is an uncertain, self-doubting young teen, the worst thing would be to have an audience for one’s potential failure. But she’ll be fine; it’s not like there will be celebrities there. Or their fans. Or airline pilots.
FC: “Now let’s squat over there and fertilize the flowers like Mommy asked us to.”
BB: Geez, it’s like shooting fish in a barrel….
MT: Mark’s ability to speak without opening his lips comes in handy when he wants to converse with Cherry while (chastely) kissing her.
Hogenmogen
June 23rd, 2009 at 9:49 am
It’s generally acknowledged that BC has improved since its (the late) Jonny Hart days. Today? Not so much. You just don’t walk in to Small Claims Court, request that you can sue someone and then walk out without a word from the person behind the rock. I interpreted this as a normal sized guy walking up to a giant judge who looks rather displeased that a mortal has made such demands of him.
But BC is at least coherent. Archie, on the other hand, screams of a glitch in the AJGLU. First panel, Archie and friends careen freely over a dirt road in a luxurious convertible Cadillac. I would have thought it belonged to Arch’s future father-in-law, but there on the license plate are Archie’s initials. Then, they’re discussing tardiness with the boss of yet another job – so far this week it makes about 3 jobs they’ve gained and lost. I can’t make up my mind if Mr. Boss has a moustache so thick that he could sweep the floor with it, or if it is a freakish, fleshy extension of his upper lip like on that Twighlight Zone episode. In the backdrop, Snuffy Smith’s kid attacks one of the 7 foot squirrels from Mark Trail. Yeah, it must be facial hair, and Mr. Boss is gonna get justice at the end of a knuckle sandwich. Then, a hitherto unseen, unnamed and silent Riverdale resident helps Archie by looking forlornly into a steaming engine.
9CL: Even Dick Cheney’s accountant hates him. Ha ha!
“How do I look in this new dress?”
“Fat.”
“I’ll take that with a grain of salt, coming from someone going for ‘Charterstone Chic’. A grain of salt and a truckload of ennui.”
I’m no big Wolverine fan, but showing up and upstaging Spiderman is making me into one. Doc Oc (now Doctor Heptapus) looks completely befuddled when he encounters a superhero who doesn’t rely on falling unconscious and dumb luck to solve his own ass.
JoJo Birrell
June 23rd, 2009 at 10:04 am
Funky Winkerbean: Watching softball, he brings up his youth baseball career, then punctuates his “joke” with the namesake of youth football. Classic.
boojum
June 23rd, 2009 at 10:11 am
Bryan @ 46 on A3G: Yeah, that was my thought — how can Margo make the leap from “an American held in a Chinese prison” to Tim Mills, Gallery Owner? Does she have some sort of Spidey Sense? (To be fair, she might have borrowed it from a fellow New Yorker, who certainly doesn’t use his.) Much of her remark may be attributed to the charming provincialism of Manhattanites, who share with teenagers and cats the assumption that everything is, in fact, about them. But it made me think of a friend who worked in China years ago. Introduced to a young woman, he was asked politely, “Oh, you are from America? Do you know Steve?”
It’s true what they say. Tim is the new Steve.
buckyswife @ 49: My condolences. Do you know, I don’t think my brain had ever let me put together the horrible realization that someone, somewhere – perhaps a wife and mother that someone loved, someone with hopes and dreams of her own – actually had to read and score those essays.
And now, for some reason, I have that episode of Friends in my head where Chandler is complaining about his boss and his preoccupation with the WENUS, when Joey turns and says simply, “Your job makes me sad.”
Hogenmogen
June 23rd, 2009 at 10:21 am
Luann: Don’t you think Tiffany goes home at night sobbing? Luann already has two eligilbe bachelors angling to take a dip in her pool, and what’s her move? Hit on the guy that Tiff wants? The Aussie is the only guy that Luann hasn’t turned against Tiffany, calling her a tramp in so many subtle ways. Luann has destroyed Tiffany’s reputation and is now trying to fuck up the first decent chance that Tiffany has to finally get out of this too-small-town and leave behind all those idiots who sold her short. Luann is becoming the new Liz Patterson. I hate you, Degroot clan!
A3G: Are they talking about Tim Mills?
No, this is about a guy forced to live with a llama. Tim was sharing a cell with some bald guy in a robe.
Why would anyone in India care about an American held in a Chinese prison? If anything, it would read “Dali Lama Held in Chinese Prison” and the byline “American Citizen Also Held”. And, I thought the headline should sort of read that they escaped. At least that was the news story on TV two days before.
“Margo, you need to see this article.”
“‘American Held in Chinese Prison’ Are they talking about Tim Mills?”
“Not that article, the one below. Tiger Woods is out of the playoffs!!”
TheDiva
June 23rd, 2009 at 10:21 am
Congrats, float riders!
Cathy: There is a special circle of Hell for people who do this to their pets.
FW: This comic gets more depressing by the day–Les can’t even summon up the energy for the customary self-mocking smirk in panel 3.
Luann: Okay, I’m starting to take bets on when Quill first utters the phrase “crikey.” My money’s on Thursday–anyone want a piece of the action?
MW: They’re holding two separate conversations, aren’t they?
buckyswife
June 23rd, 2009 at 10:24 am
#53 boojum–Well, there was lots of hearty drinking in the evenings, and a bit of time to walk on the beach. And it was just one week—and now I’m back to my regularly scheduled summer plans of NO schedule!
Hogenmogen
June 23rd, 2009 at 10:24 am
#53 – Boojum – I know Steve.
Artist formerly known as Ben
June 23rd, 2009 at 10:29 am
6/23
Ah yes, COTWs. I had forgotten. A nice crop, and many kudos.
A3G: That’s what you think, pops! Those aren’t Hindi cows, but good ol’ South Dakota cows. Yes, in a wacky mixup, the Magees have caught the wrong flight, and are staying next to Lu Ann’s family ranch.
MT: Very clever. Mark has projected his voice into a life-size mannequin of himself, no doubt something of Doc’s design. Eventually Cherry might get suspicious that it doesn’t flinch when she kisses it. But for now, perfect plan.
SFx: Well Shady Shrew was feeling sorry for himself, before he saw these burglars in woeful action.
S4th: Apparently black stagehand getups will allow you to blend in anywhere.
GT: The rest of the team is shocked. Apparently Bill has fully articulated hands, with fingers that grip and everything.
Luann: O joy! We get to meet a new character, a painfully cliched Aussie. Or as I hope, a kid from Delaware who wants to get in Tiffany’s pants and heard her favorite movie was Crocodile Dundee.
6C: It’s a good thing they announce the “Chix” part in the title, because I can’t see a guy getting away with this “girls don’t get math” joke. (Not that it’s a high point for Shulock either.)
Phantom: That’s what I like about Kit Walker. No “Go ahead, make my day.” No “You’re the disease and I’m the cure.” No, his idea of a tough guy one-liner is “That’s subject to change without notice.” Mark Trail bolding included.
OBH: Oh, but in the end aren’t we all helpless before Divine?
HtH: Apparently Lucky Eddie thought Hagar meant “Tap that waitress’ phat bouncy booty.”
FC: Yes, flowers. Very special flowers. Mommy cultivates them and dries them out a little, and students from the state college pay a lot to take these flowers home in plastic baggies.
S-M: So. Doc Ock has one of his tentacles wagging back and forth between his legs. It has a “head” on the end, a large bag of money. Wolverine–or as we might call him, “papa”–severs the head and cuts the tentacle in half. The sound you just heard was Sigmund Freud’s cigar exploding.
Hogenmogen
June 23rd, 2009 at 10:32 am
So this week Funky is all about vague descriptions of a time when the strip was at least a little bit funny? Les, after realizing that his “glory days” weren’t even that glorious, decides to commit suicide by either drowning himself in Lake Erie or by drinking it.
boojum
June 23rd, 2009 at 10:48 am
57 – Hogenmogen – Odd. He never mentioned you.
migellito
June 23rd, 2009 at 10:49 am
mark trail – A great day for Trail, as we begin with a view of their hive home. Then, we move to a preview of what it’s like to kiss Mark. Finally, we see Mark’s great reaction “she’s attacking me with her face!”
Amateur
June 23rd, 2009 at 11:00 am
S-M: I love the first panel. It sounds so delightfully random:
“You may call yourself Wolverine! But that doesn’t impress an octopus. . . .”
You could pretty much plug in any two nouns.
“You may call yourself a pig! But that doesn’t impress a donkey. . . .”
“You may call yourself a vacuum cleaner! But that doesn’t impress a dust mop. . . .”
“You may call yourself Snuffy Smith! But that doesn’t impress Margo. . . .”
Speaking of Spidey, has anyone come up with any “An octopus, a wolverine, and a spider walk into a bar” jokes yet? The setup is practically begging for it.
Paul1963
June 23rd, 2009 at 11:48 am
Hogenmogen @51: I’m pretty sure Archie’s car is supposed to be a first-gen (1964-66) Mustang. They gave him that car sometime in the ’80s when the folks who do the comic books finally realized that very few teenagers were driving around in pre-1920 touring cars with wood spoked wheels during the Reagan years.
Of course, a decent early Mustang –particularly a convertible– is way out of most teens’ price range these days. Look for Archie to get some little rice rocket in, oh, 2025 or so.
I would love to see a couple of weeks of A3G written in Hootin-Hollerese. I can just see Margo coming home and bellowing “Balls o’ fire!!” when she sees that Tommie hasn’t made dinner or Tommie telling her latest neglectful boyfriend that he’s “gooder’n ary angel” after he comes up with some flimsy explanation as to why he needs her to keep some live chickens for him.
gnome de blog
June 23rd, 2009 at 11:49 am
#30, Parmalat Loire said:
No matter how promsicuous high schoolers are in real life, it’s better they don’t have sex in the comics, not even implied. I have to go with Evans on this one.
Now, about Brad and Toni…