By “I like country girls best” he means “I find them the least unsettling”
Archie, 6/23/09
Here is a comedy tip for you: humor grounded in the specific is always funnier and more vivid than jokes about vague, abstract nouns. Thus, I would argue that the lame pun for which this strip is the ostensible vehicle is redeemed to a certain extent by the amusing notion that Archie, Jughead, and Nameless Car Pool Denizen #3 are not just going to some random teenage job, but have actually taken up careers as carnies, for some reason. More delightful still is the insane tableau in the second panel: Archie’s boss has clearly been beaten down by the realities of life as a wrangler of sullen teenagers and burnouts, buyer of giant stuffed pandas and a fryer grease in bulk, and briber of ride safety inspectors, but he still has enough of his belief that amusement park management might be insanely lucrative (no doubt developed over years of playing Roller Coaster Tycoon) that he decided to wear his tie covered with dollar signs to work. No doubt he’ll lose that faith altogether when he turns around to see one his fursuit characters, a giant squirrel thing not currently trademarked by any major media conglomerate, attempting to capture and kill a child, the crazed eyes of a serial killer gleaming madly out of the rodent’s grinning mouth.
Mark Trail, 6/23/09
Actually, Mark didn’t say anything of the kind, Cherry, as his only comments about the appearance and attractiveness of mammals involves the phrase “healthy, shiny coat.” Your transparent jealousy and shameless smoochery may in fact backfire, as the thing he most likes about country girls is that they find the intermittent sexual relations that are apparently a required aspect of marriage just as terrifying and unpleasant as he does.
Apartment 3-G, 6/23/09
All important information in this storyline is apparently going to be conveyed by having characters thrust newspapers at one another, so you may wonder why the voyage to India’s most blandly decorated hotel was even necessary at all. Obviously, though, without this trip we wouldn’t be graced with the hilariously offensive series of Margoisms that we’re going to get. “Dad, there are cows in the street! Everybody here is dirty, and nobody is white! They don’t take American money! The Indian food here is terrible!”
Beetle Bailey, 6/23/09
This is honestly one of the saddest and most poignant Beetle Baileys ever. It should probably be on the front page of the Servicemembers Legal Defense Network home page.
Uncle Ritzy Fritz
June 23rd, 2009 at 11:13 am
MT: I’m thinking Panel 3 is much more fishy than Panel 2.
Jaime Weinman
June 23rd, 2009 at 11:13 am
Isn’t that the guy from Monopoly, without his hat? The recession hit him surprisingly hard.
One-eyed Wolfdog
June 23rd, 2009 at 11:14 am
And, to be clear, there’s nothing wrong with that.
tbiggs
June 23rd, 2009 at 11:14 am
MT sez “a lady named Sarah Williams…” That’s not how I’d describe a “young and pretty” company prez, but hey, you’re in MT’s world now. Mark seems almost autistic in his conversation and hugs with his wife. That fish seems to be expressing Mark’s horror of close personal contact.
Jedzz
June 23rd, 2009 at 11:16 am
Beetle Bailey by Tom Batiuk, ladies and gentlemen! Give him a hand.
Dragon of Life
June 23rd, 2009 at 11:20 am
Wow… exposure to foreign culture has actually reduced Margo to cross-eyed, limp-necked insanity. Please, please say the rage comes next. I can’t stand seeing Margo so reduced.
He Whose Laughs Last
June 23rd, 2009 at 11:20 am
Actually, the giant squirrel thing isn’t an employee of the amusement park. He just likes hanging around kids.
Old Wibbley
June 23rd, 2009 at 11:24 am
Well hello Funky Baileybean.
Squeak
June 23rd, 2009 at 11:29 am
“…and she didn’t admit knowing anything about the drums!”
Um… how about “…and she denied knowing anything about the drums!”?
I think the lettering employees, claiming limited English skills, are being paid by the letter. I wonder if they get paid extra for bold text.
Pope Buck I
June 23rd, 2009 at 11:32 am
I can’t help but be fascinated with the time-honored meme of the “bratty kid running around in a coonskin cap.” Has any American child actually worn a Davy Crockett-style coonskin cap since, oh, let’s say 1970? I look forward to seeing the propeller beanies and cowboys-and-Indians garb worn by the other kids at Retro Land.
Hobbes Fan
June 23rd, 2009 at 11:33 am
Just letting everyone know that the Kansas City Star is having a comics chopping block poll….
http://www.kansascity.com/238/story/1266665.html
What I like about it is that they’re being upfront about why they’re considering the listed strips. Finally there’s a newspaper out there that doesn’t feel obligated to carry every legacy strip.
And you know, having the Young Durantes greet you on the page doesn’t make a very good case for keeping FOOB.
pccmdoc
June 23rd, 2009 at 11:34 am
what Mark meant was…’she didn’t admit knowing anything about the drums…yet. I’m going back tomorrow and wont leave until she does admit knowing everything about the drums. That’s what my fists of justice are for.’
Fashion Police
June 23rd, 2009 at 11:34 am
Egad! Mr. and Ms. Magee are wearing the same clothes they wore for their 16-hour airplane voyage! They’re either traveling awfully light or they lost their luggage. We note also that this is India, where only mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the noonday sun, and Mr. Magee continues to insist on a proper necktie. Right-o, chap! Good show! Stiff upper lip and all that!
The best we can say for Margo’s turquoise turtleneck is that it is alliterative.
teddytoad
June 23rd, 2009 at 11:44 am
And thus Beetle Bailey enters the fifth act of the Chekhov play we never knew it was.
These Strange Worlds
June 23rd, 2009 at 11:45 am
Archie
What bothers me is that the very force of gravity appears to be taking the morning off too — at least for Jughead and his boss.
Seriously, can a human duplicate the position of either without involving guy wires or perhaps naked singularities?
As an aside, a whole summer of strips at the amusement park would be a welcome break from high school (and high school dress codes).
Marion Delgado
June 23rd, 2009 at 11:47 am
Don’t ask, Snorkel, and don’t tell!
zenvelo
June 23rd, 2009 at 11:48 am
Funky Winkerbean- so why would Pop Warner give a fig about Little League? He was a football coach!
If you’re going to make remarks about athletic ineptitude, at least be nerdy enough to get your references right!
gnome de blog
June 23rd, 2009 at 11:54 am
#17 zenvelo:
I actually liked the Pop Warner reference, as it underscored Les’ total ignorance of what he was talking about. I doubt if his lady fair knows the difference either.
It would have been even better if he’d said Vince Lombardi.
jayjaybear
June 23rd, 2009 at 11:56 am
Sarge needs to go to a bear run. He’d find LOTS of friends…
bats :[
June 23rd, 2009 at 12:04 pm
y62. Amateur re A spider, an octopus and a wolverine walk into a bar: I think the Sunday Bizarro took care of that (well, more or less…one out of three…)…
http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20090621&name=Bizarro
CanuckDownSouth
June 23rd, 2009 at 12:09 pm
#15-TSW – there is absolutely no need to resort to a naked singularity to explain the posture of Archie characters. A small neutron star off to the side will do just fine.
And is there some rule that while comic-Spiderman can bring in the upteen times better (even before/ despite the hype) Wolvie, there’s a requirement to prevent him from overshadowing Spidey too much? pst! The classic pose is clawing, not karate-chopping. I’m not even sure the claws are supposed ot be sharp on the sides.
Comrade Denny
June 23rd, 2009 at 12:10 pm
Better Half: No. That’s how you know it’s a malignant melanoma.
Crock: Ha! The FLN acquired a cache of MK-ULTRA LSD and dosed the lost patrol! These guys could have been in shouting distance of Crock’s HQ for 34 years now and never realized it, convinced as they are that they’re lost is a vast desert of giant pencils and talking cacti.
MT: Mark seems to be actually enjoying Cherry’s smoochies. He’s already mutating. “Don’t make me horny, Cherry. You wouldn’t like me when I’m horny.”
MW: “Things are not as fun or as intimate as they used to be before we got married” [emph. added]. Holy hot teen jail-bait, Meddler! How can Mary let that one go by? It practically an admission that Lawrence likes’em young, real young with honey-hued shoulders and lovely drawn abdomens where his southbound mouth can briefly pause.
bats :[
June 23rd, 2009 at 12:14 pm
11. Hobbes Fan: wow, being upfront with the paper’s intention to cut some strips AND offering a $50 gift certificate to vote online — sign me up!
I did vote, and wow, the choices are ruthless. I did NOT vote to eliminate MT, and I wrote a short piece on the value (entertainment and educational) of Mark’s adventures. Thanks for letting us know!
Oh, did I mention that the AZ Daily Star is starting to run “Luann” on Sundays. Swell.
150
June 23rd, 2009 at 12:17 pm
Tim Mills? I thought his name was Eric. I’d ask someone to explain but it’s not worth describing how little I care.
It\'s time to pay the price
June 23rd, 2009 at 12:21 pm
Did ya catch Archie’s license plate there? I think it’s a nice bit of incidental art, supporting Alcoholics Anonymous everywhere. Either that, or AJGLU 3000 has mistakenly assumed that license plates serve only to label the humans inside the car, given the inevitable auto uprising.
Harry Pothead
June 23rd, 2009 at 12:25 pm
Hagar the Horrible: Tap that a$$!
Hi and Lois: Wanted Dead or Alive, A Punchline. Otherwise, it just climaxes in workaday ennui…
Pickles: Why does this strip waste our time with Grandpa’s latest bug to crawl up his butt. He wants a beard, he wears cowboy boots, he starts manscaping… Is he trying to tell Grandma something?
Marvin: Mom needs to break open a can of whoop a$$
ZITS: I am glad that the story line has moved on from creepy teenage sloppy kissing… What next, tips on cunnilingus?
Luann: Looks like Tiffany has a place to dip her new Quill if Luann doesn’t find a way to add to her list of frustrated romances…paging Aaron Hill…
Forrest
June 23rd, 2009 at 12:26 pm
Notice how years of deliberately avoiding intimate contact with humans has made Mark an expert at the old “turn the cheek” tactic when someone moves in for an unwanted kiss.
kelsy
June 23rd, 2009 at 12:26 pm
By the lackluster expression on Margo’s face, I can only assume that she has spoken that interrobang. Out of some tiny sense of politeness, this is her only way to express concern since she is incapable of expressing any sense of empathy or sympathy for another human being.
seamus
June 23rd, 2009 at 12:27 pm
I’m sure carnies are exploited for near slave wages, but perhaps Archie and crew would have an easier time getting to work if they ditched the ‘87 LeBaron for a ’90s-era Accord.
gts1303
June 23rd, 2009 at 12:27 pm
Has B.C. become self-aware? I’ve been asking when the lousy puns will stop for YEARS now. Also, does acknowledging the fact that your joke sucks make it any more acceptable to make the horrible joke in the frist place?
Larry McAwful
June 23rd, 2009 at 12:33 pm
It looks like Mr. Svenson is working at managing an amusement park to supplement his high school janitor income. I remember my grandfather took work as a high school janitor to supplement his steelworker income. I guess it works the other way around in Riverdale.
Uncle Balustrade
June 23rd, 2009 at 12:38 pm
Archie: In the second panel, the carny owner seems to have trapped his patrons inside the grounds by use of a medieval portcullis. God knows what might follow.
Artist formerly known as Ben
June 23rd, 2009 at 12:43 pm
#26 Harry Pothead,
Okay, I just pictured Jeremy’s giant flicking tongue. Now I have to go cauterize that part of my brain.
Comrade Denny
June 23rd, 2009 at 12:45 pm
#32:
By the pricking of my thumbs,
Something wicked this way comes.
gnome de blog
June 23rd, 2009 at 12:49 pm
24 150:
Tim Mills is Eric’s brother, and Nora’s husband. Eric went to Tibet to find him. He’s sick and maybe dying in a monastery/hospital/prison. He asked Eric to smuggle out the lama instead.
Of course you care. Margo was right about everything.
bats :[
June 23rd, 2009 at 12:52 pm
Tarnation!
http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/3653834143/
gnome de blog
June 23rd, 2009 at 12:52 pm
We so want the Godiva and the cavalry to show up in the high school gym for the cheerleader mom beatdown and discover that Sophie bailed.
Ms Avery
June 23rd, 2009 at 12:53 pm
Mark looks like he’s fighting off a panic attack in Panel 3.
Steve
June 23rd, 2009 at 12:54 pm
Luann: His name is Quill? Quill! Where is he supposed to be a transfer student from, the world of Dungeons & Dragons? Once he’s had too deal with Luann and Tiffany’s antics for a couple of weeks he’ll be pining for his days fighting orcs.
buckyswife
June 23rd, 2009 at 12:54 pm
Because of the economy, one of the Mark Trail Giant Animals has to moonlight at an amusement park.
But at least he’s not punching his wife….
commodorejohn
June 23rd, 2009 at 12:55 pm
A3G – I absolutelly love Margo’s callous expression in panel two. “Hey, dad, look! Cows! Oh, what, there’s some dumb bastard in prison in China? Booo-ring.”
BB – Seriously, this can’t be unintentional.
Crankshaft – Mindy saved all the tasks until she had a chance to burst her mother’s balloon in mid-worrynag. I like this girl.
Curtis – Wow, it’s been a while since the last Crock “inexplicable giant object in the middle of the desert for no reason with no explanation” strip. Unless you count the giant stone head, but I think that’s in an entire separate category of hallucinatory insanity.
GA – And a month in Gasoline Alley time is…way too long in real-world time, that’s for damn sure.
GT – Yes, feel his chest, Bill. That’s always the surest sign of a liar.
JP – Should I be feeling bad for laughing at this?
Love Is… – a straightjacket fetish.
Luann – Poor, poor Australia. No nation deserves this.
MT – It was so impossible to get the desired reaction out of Mark in the last panel that they actually had to get Ronald Reagan to stand in for him.
MW – Did Delilah just admit to being intimate before she was married? Mary’s going to have a field day with that. “Why don’t you love your husband any more, dear? Is it because you’re a whore?”
Momma – You know what you can do with your reassured finanical solvency, Thomas? Put out a ht on your mother, that’s what.
NAOQV – See, I just don’t get why you’d have to crazify your comic-strip depiction of Tesla in the first place. The man was so crazy-awesome in real life that he actually tried to make a death ray and was theorizing about maybe inventing a flying saucer while he was at it. The man was a walking conspiracy-theory factory.
Popeye – Monster, if you actually eat that horrible little thing, I’ll pay you. In…um, whatever. Anything, I don’t care. Just kill him. Dead.
SF – I think Faye seriously lives at the Forths’, and Ted and Sally just never notice because she’s always sneaking out of the room one step ahead of them, cartoon-style. She probably lives in Hillary’s closet.
SM – God love ya, Wolverine, you’re the most heroic character in this entire damn strip.
Edison Lee – Hooray, we may get a twofer in the “horrible annoying children dying” department!
Francis
June 23rd, 2009 at 12:57 pm
Re Mark and Cherry’s liplock, there is a direct correlation between “how unsexy a kiss is” and “how long a conversation you can hold while performing said kiss.”
Alan's Addiction
June 23rd, 2009 at 12:59 pm
Oh, AJGLU 3000, you’re starting to learn. You may not have provided us with an actual joke today, but you provided hours of hilarity with the second panel of Archie. First, there’s that delightfully awful tie, which, if nothing else, can serve as a great guide for what NOT to get Dad on Father’s Day. Then there’s the fact that the amusement park seems like it’s being invaded by giant squirrels from the planet Rodentian. Let the horrible “Take us to your nuts” jokes begin.
Today’s Mark Trail gives us a first: the image of Mark and his wife actually touching each other. Without protective garments between them, either! It’s too bad that this brief show of affection will end when that Godzilla-sized trout devours their cabin.
Based on the interior decorating, I’d say that the only difference between India and Apartment 3G (the actual apartment, not the strip) is the paint job. On the other hand, we now get to see the greatest matches of the century; Margo vs Roaming Livestock and Margo vs The Third World. Those fights are of a quality usually only seen on Pay-Per-View channels (and she’s got her dad in tow, so we know she’ll be extra irritable and angst-filled). I can’t wait until she realizes that no one in Mumbai skies, either.
Today’s Beetle Bailey would be a thing of beauty, the emotional experience of a man realizing who and what he is… Except that the man in question is Sarge, and we know that he’s just going to take out these strange new feelings and the rest of his sexual repression out on Beetle, in the form of a savage beating.
Bootsy
June 23rd, 2009 at 1:07 pm
Archie: What kid in this day and age wears a coon skin cap?
Of course, that will make it easier to chain him to a log!
Comrade Denny
June 23rd, 2009 at 1:09 pm
#41 – commodorejohn:
re: MT: And the sad thing is that Cherry can’t tell then difference between Mark’s lips and Reagan’s mummified kisser.
re: MW: I myself wondered why Mary didn’t jump on that bit of info like Humbert Humbert – or Prof. Lawrence – on an auburn-haired teeny-bopper.
re: Tesla: The man was a certified mad scientist. Even figured out a way to freakin’ broadcast electricity through the ground – no wires ma! Edison got all the glory, and all Tesla got was a shitty-ass 80’s hair-band.
Niall
June 23rd, 2009 at 1:18 pm
I find I can’t make fun of Sophie in Judge Parker at the moment. I too suffer from some self-esteem problem, and many self-doubts after starting something that sometimes without my knowledge affects more people than I expected. And this even when trying to have fun (such as inviting people to my big birthday party this weekend). “Reality happened” – I can relate, Sophie, I can relate.
But I’ll never, ever be as bad as Sarge.
Muffaroo
June 23rd, 2009 at 1:22 pm
Crack – So… when the writer passed on, they didn’t replace him?
MWorth – “Now you go right back there and do what it takes to make your marriage work for HIM, Missy! With great marriage comes great responsibility.”
R=R – The question is, is this a real butterfly, or is one of the Gumbos hiding in the shrubbery, thinking happy thoughts? Or feeling happy feelings, whatever it is those slope-headed yahoos do.
SSmif – Now that I know too much about the writing of this, I think they should change the name to Six Hix.
Id – Ha ha, college professors are lazy. Not like cartoonists who work, oh, I’ll just estimate 30 minutes a day, using the same miraculous powers of proctomancy that produced the strip.
Little Guy @y43 – Actually, I think of the brief scene on the Simpsons that ends with the line, “I see you’ve played forky-spoony before!”
Bryan @y46 – Ah! It’s just as well I didn’t slave over a “Birds” reference for Peanuts, because then I’d have seen your comment and had to grudgingly delete it. I guess sometimes low energy can be my friend.
Paul1963 @y63 – “Aw Aw AWWW! More firewood, mule!”\
bats :[ @36 - Aw Aw Jinx.
Love Is... [yesterday] – Waiting for the ping-pong balls.
Anonymous
June 23rd, 2009 at 1:28 pm
ARCHIE: I’m worried about what will happen to Carpool Denizen #3 if Archie can’t get that car started and Jughead uses up all his cellphone mintues trading lame banter with Rich Uncle Pennybags. They’ll have to eat… and soon. Jughead’s appetite is, as we all know, enormous. “Okay, to make it fair, we won’t eat anybody who has his own digest-sized comic available at supermarket checkout lines everywhere! Oh, sorry, new guy… You lose again. Maybe you shoulda tried wearing a funny hat or having a catchprase or something.”
Binder's Butter Beans
June 23rd, 2009 at 1:32 pm
Archie’s boss is clearly Mr. Moneypenny from the Monopoly board!
Also, I think that squirrel-guy is actually being abducted by a pair of children. The eyes staring out of the rodent’s grinning mouth are crazed with terror as the poor guy realizes he’s trapped in this stupid goddamn suit, and can’t run fast enough to escape the little hellions. “It’s not worth ten bucks an hour,” he thinks as he pulls his arms into the suit and hurriedly scribbles a note telling his mother he loves her.
Black Drazon
June 23rd, 2009 at 1:35 pm
Cherry’s just trying to seek validation for the hours she spent preparing her disguise as the head of a major industrial corporation (hairband) so that she could play bad guy for once.
Meanwhile, Margo proves in her own, disinterested yet awe-inspiring way, that she can read Hindi newspapers or, indeed, all languages in the world.
Calvin\\\'s Cardboard Box
June 23rd, 2009 at 1:56 pm
JP – Wow. If they really do have Sophie suddenly realize that, maybe, knowing how to cheer is a prerequisite to having a successful cheerleader tryout, then I will take back my snark on the topic. The whole plotline has seemed to be a runaway train toward her foobShannon-esque redemption and triumphant procession through the town. If it really ends in a mad-mad-world farce whereby after all the noise she walks out in front of the pilots, scantily-clad actress, country-music star, cheerleader moms, paparazzi, and Abbey’s supportive bosom, meekly tries a few “go team” chants while waving pom-poms made of shredded newspaper (Washington Post comic pages?), and then slinks off in silence then … well then I won’t feel nearly as guilty for loving the strip for all the gratuitous T&A.
queek
June 23rd, 2009 at 1:57 pm
MT, panel 2: and Tingatel thought that *they* had problems with the iguana!
MC: Norm haz a happy, . . .yr doin it rong.
NS: I liked the version of this joke in “Earth Girls Are Easy” better.
PBS: saw that one coming. still laughed.
SpeedBump: *gigglesnort* and here we thought the subtext was just in Beetle Bailey
C&B: ewwwwww, day 2.
Zits: hello my darling, hello my baby, hello my ragtime gaaaaaaaal!
*crickets*
Donald the Anarchist
June 23rd, 2009 at 2:03 pm
Archie That poor squirrel. You just know some kid is gonna poor hot cheese sauce in the mouth, which’ll hit the poor schmo right in the eyes. And the greatest tragedy…It’ll be off-panel.
MT “She’s got style, she’s got grace, she’s got no hair on her face, she’s a lady!”
A3G Let’s hope useful info continues to be encapsulated in headlines. In my universe, all headlines are good for is making boring stories seem sexy and/or lurid. Stupid universe…
BB So this is how Gay Panic starts. And I think we all know how it ends…
Anonymous
June 23rd, 2009 at 2:06 pm
RE:6/2209’s Beetle Baily:
It seems quite obvious to me that Sarge and Beetle have taken their relationship one step closer to actually going for the gold, and have no begun to participate in a two-man mock blowjob, with Sarge feeding the imaginary engorged phallus into Beetle’s waiting mouth. Also, I assume Beetle’s initial riposte was not “can I get it to go?” but the inverse (can I get it to come?)
Poteet
June 23rd, 2009 at 2:06 pm
A3G — That headline would be much more interesting if they added an “l” to the beginning of the last word.
Poteet
June 23rd, 2009 at 2:11 pm
A3G — I’m reminded of a legendary DES MOINES REGISTER headline based on actual headlines in decades of yore…
IOWAN WITNESSES MASSIVE EARTHQUAKE IN MEXICO — Thousands killed in disaster
Chyron HR
June 23rd, 2009 at 2:15 pm
9 Repugnant Lane – The good news is that you two survived the rest of the world being obliterated while you were busy sucking face. The bad news is you’re doomed to spend eternity in a featureless void with Thorax.
Apartment 3-G – Cows in the street? So Margo went to visit Luann instead?
Fast Track – Yeah, she stopped the computer virus. But they don’t tell you that she blew up Buckingham Palace, The Great Wall of China, and an igloo in the process.
FOOB – When asked why little Mike was playing a Game Boy back in the 70s, Lynn Johnston replied “Gerrothere yerbassur!” and threw a half-empty whiskey bottle at this reporter.
Mark Trail – “Yes, but I like ugly girls the best! They don’t make my pee-pee feel all funny.”
Popeye – The missing third panel: “Yep. It sure isk.”
Uncle Lumpy
June 23rd, 2009 at 2:16 pm
#56 Poteet –
Or the old National Lampoon newspaper item:
LOCAL WOMAN INJURED IN EARTHQUAKE!
Japan destroyed
Digger
June 23rd, 2009 at 2:16 pm
Dear Sarge:
Your problem is not that you’re afraid of women, it’s that you have a fetish for unleashing brutal, sadistic violence on other men. Oh, and the fact that you only have one tooth which sticks out even when your mouth is closed isn’t impressing the ladies either.
gnome de blog
June 23rd, 2009 at 2:18 pm
56 Poteet:
Well played! LOL even though I knew what was coming.
Frozen
June 23rd, 2009 at 2:28 pm
19. Eventually he’d get Beetle to attend. On a leash. Who’s up for some erotic fan fiction?
Baron Bizarre
June 23rd, 2009 at 2:28 pm
Beetle Bailey: Sgt. Snorkel writes to Dear Abby – I suppose it’s appropriate that a character in a “legacy” strip writes to a “legacy” advice column…
Kibo
June 23rd, 2009 at 2:29 pm
I don’t buy the dramatic reality of the pun-like incident in “Beetle Bailey”. No human would believe “Our pool sprung a leak!” is a better late-for-work excuse than “Our car is on fire!”
There are three possible subtexts:
(a) Jughead does not understand simple logic.
(b) The robot that writes the strip does not reason like a human.
(c) Jughead feels the need to lie constantly. In fact, he probably doesn’t even work for that guy. He just phones random people and gives them random bad excuses wholly unrelated to the fact that Archie’s face is currently being melted off by a flaming car engine.
“Hello, Mr… Wamkley? I’m late for my job as a refrigerator waxer because my hamster ate my Harvard diploma!”
“What? Who is this? And why won’t you leave me alone? Never call my funeral parlor again!”
Yeah, Jughead’s a piece of work all right. Just as no rational human would have invented Jughead’s excuse, no rational human could have invented Jughead So, it’s (b) with a twist of (c).
CURSE YOU, ARCHIE JOKE-GENERATING LAUGH UNIT 3000, FOR MAKING ME THINK ABOUT THIS WAY TOO LONG! NOW I’M LATE TO MY JOB INFLATING BALLOONS FOR SICK CLOWNS AT THE CLOWN ORPHANAGE IN SOME CITY TWO CITIES OVER!
Comcis Fan
June 23rd, 2009 at 2:33 pm
#57 re FOOB: Maybe it was a noisy Texas Instruments calculator?
S4th: Ever wonder if manybe Faye IS a Forth, or at least Sally’s daughter?
Charterstoned
June 23rd, 2009 at 2:34 pm
MT – Doc’s expression in the first panel just begs for a really large thought balloon: Oh, God, here we go again. Cherry looks like a tigress ready to spring on her prey. It’s pitiful how the girl has to beg for her husband’s attention. She’s worse than Delilah. I can’t stand another day of this. Why did I ever let these people live here with me? I should have made Cherry move out when she turned 30. And it wasn’t enough that I let Mark live here, too– they had to go and rustle up a smarmy kid and another damn dog, to boot. Well. I’m not going to hang around for the inevitable wooden smooch. I’m going to clean my dentures and polish my head.
Kibo
June 23rd, 2009 at 2:36 pm
Also, I think that “Beetle Bailey” strip would be even better if there were a fourth panel where Abby wrote back.
“Sarge, thank you for writing that letter you never sent me. In reply to your shyness over sending it, yes, you should be embarrassed that you have the handwriting of a seven-year-old girl. Thank you for almost writing me. Sincerely, Abby. P.S. You can stop writing me now that I’ve been dead so many years.”
The Mighty Captain E
June 23rd, 2009 at 2:39 pm
There are friends on the other side, Snorkel!! Go through the door, man!! You won’t believe how great it feels!
Comcis Fan
June 23rd, 2009 at 2:41 pm
Between today’s Baby Blues, Beetle Bailey and (of course) Funky Winkerbean, it’s looking more like the Ennui Pages. I mean come on, Baby Blues? Where are Hammie and the father going that’s so depressing after their imaginary racecar ride?
FW is actually starting to amuse me now. These characters are so morose and insecure — can turn even watching a teenagers’ softball game into a cause for self-absorbed self-loathing self-reflection — that it’s downright funny. and what’s that expression on Les’ new girlfriend’s face? Missing thought bubble: Hah. Funny. Right. Is is too late to bail without a lot of tears and workplace drama?
Charlene
June 23rd, 2009 at 2:43 pm
#58: or the old joke about the Globe and Mail:
THREE TORONTO RESIDENTS KILLED
…
Newfoundland sinks into sea
Kibo
June 23rd, 2009 at 2:46 pm
Argh! Now the Spelling Bureau’s gonna get me! Look, I KNOW that’s not how Mr. Wankley spells his name! I can’t help it if my spell-checker doesn’t know how to fix a mistyped “Wankley”!
Crock-a-Doodle
June 23rd, 2009 at 3:16 pm
MT: Mark, forget the drums. We need more cowbell!
SF_Reader
June 23rd, 2009 at 3:19 pm
Perez Hilton is bad enough, we ARE NOT claiming Sargent Snorkel as one of ours. Besides, gay men are not afraid of women, that’s a straight dude affliction.
Niall
June 23rd, 2009 at 3:23 pm
11. HobbesFan: I voted! And also refreshing is that they say they’ll replace it by comics THEY want US to see. No poll for that! Also sign of intelligence: once you voted, you can’t see a tally of results, so no ballot-stuffing.
36. bats :[ : oh sweet lordy, that’un’s ’bout to reckon’ be all a-talked about for a while, missy! (Translation: you surpassed yourself on panel 3, and it’s simultaneously creepy and funny as hell.)
BB
June 23rd, 2009 at 3:41 pm
Country girls understand that reproduction is simply a mechanical process, and it should not be discussed in civilized company. Or ever.
The Goat Whisperer
June 23rd, 2009 at 3:42 pm
A3G: Is that a clam hanging around Margo’s neck?
Harry Pothead
June 23rd, 2009 at 3:43 pm
Luann — In keeping with federal law, Quill the Australian is required to say ‘fair dinkum’ at least once while he appears in the comic strip. Furthermore, Evans is required to include the term ‘G’Day’ to avoid a hefty fine.
Source: Foster’s Unlimited Comic Koalas Act of 1987 (Passed around the time of Crocodile Dundee)
commodorejohn
June 23rd, 2009 at 3:53 pm
Man, you guys really never got to know the right country girls.
…of course, neither did I, sadly.
Seriously, though, it’s hard to be prudish when you grow up watching animals hump out the kitchen window.
Little Guy
June 23rd, 2009 at 4:20 pm
51: I’m starting to think this storyline will end a la “Citizen Ruth”.
Pozzo
June 23rd, 2009 at 4:22 pm
They lock up the llamas but let the cows roam free? What kind of country is this?
Farley's Revenge
June 23rd, 2009 at 4:28 pm
Re: Archie: My son works full-time at a big amusement park, in the security division. He works his butt off dealing with thousands of people every day in the energy-sapping heat. He’s done this for five years and this job helped put him through college and make payments on his car.
While I’m aware that there are small, dismal amusement parks scattered hither and yon across the land, such as the ones which apparently employ the Archie crew, I’m just saying not all of them are that way.
But what caught my attention was the license plate on the pool-mobile: “AA1″. I assume that means “Archie Andrews”. When did he ditch the jalopy he drove for, well, forever and move into the 21st century by buying a sixties-era sort of muscle machine(which is as close to muscular as Archie will ever hope to be)?
The Goat Whisperer
June 23rd, 2009 at 4:35 pm
#51 Pozzo
Sounds like a great opening line for a crountry song. Let’s give it to Rocky.
Poteet
June 23rd, 2009 at 4:40 pm
# 76 Harry Pothead — It’s good to hear from an expert on that law. Are there any other required phrases? And will Quill have to mention crocodiles at some point?
Bryan
June 23rd, 2009 at 4:40 pm
77, commodorejohn: …it’s hard to be prudish when you grow up watching animals hump out the kitchen window.
And another idea for a sad country-western song. A few more of these and we’ll have Rocky Ledge’s next album done.
Bootsy
June 23rd, 2009 at 4:50 pm
Charterstoned, your comment at #65 make me chortle. Clean my dentures and polish my head indeed!
Hogenmogen
June 23rd, 2009 at 4:52 pm
Haw haw haw! Sarge actually wrote “I’m going to tear up this letter”! Haw haw!
It would have been hilarious if there were tiny toy French Foreign Legion soldiers on the desk.
Or at least one tiny caveman.
Other than that, we’ve got nothing but a an ambiguously gay moment.
And it’s not all that ambiguous, just uncomfortable.
Poteet
June 23rd, 2009 at 4:56 pm
# 83 Bryan — How about a country-Midwestern song?
Ah’ve seen boars mountin’ sows,
Ah’ve seen bulls service cows,
So how come there ain’t some’un fer meeee?
Ah’ve seen large matin’ snakes,
Ah’ve seen hen ducks with drakes,
Yit Ah am still alone as kin beeeee….
Ah look around and Ah see lots of twosomes,
The loneliness Ah feel is oh so gruesome,
Ah’ve seen bugs do with bugs,
They looked happy, they looked smug,
Oh why cain’t there be some’un fer meeee?
Hogenmogen
June 23rd, 2009 at 4:58 pm
63 – Kibo – From what I’m gathering, Archie’s AA-1 has a radiator leak, hence the “leak” part of the “joke”. But since he has a cell phone, shouldn’t he be on the phone to a tow service? I dunno, I just come up with these things, ya know?
Hogenmogen
June 23rd, 2009 at 5:00 pm
You know who Archie’s boss is? He’s the Monopoly Man!
Gary
June 23rd, 2009 at 5:00 pm
I was beginning to tire of this story arc, so I’m glad we shall soon see how well Mark Trail can punch his way out of the belly of a Dunkleosteus.
Hogenmogen
June 23rd, 2009 at 5:00 pm
Archie/Jughead’s boss
Mr. O'Malley
June 23rd, 2009 at 5:22 pm
56 Poteet. Unfortunately the story that the Aberdeen Press & Journal reported the sinking of the Titanic as “North-East Man Lost At Sea” is no more than a legend.
Anonymous
June 23rd, 2009 at 5:28 pm
@ #90 et al. …
Let this be a lesson to you young’uns. Just because you win second place in a beauty contest doesn’t mean you get to coast through the rest of your life. You may have free parking today, but tomorrow you might find yourself hussling the marks on outside Baltic Avenue Freakshow.
Uncle Lumpy
June 23rd, 2009 at 5:32 pm
Hard To Be Prudish
With special thanks to mah ol’ pardner cj up thar at 77. Howdy atcha, cj!
It’s hard to be prudish
When you grow up watchin’
The animals rut out your window.
The males act so dudish
The females look fetchin’
And both know just what goes where into.
Farm girlfriends and sisters
Don’t moon about mysteries,
Nope! ‘Cause I’m tellin’ you, pard –
It’s hard to be prudish
When you’ve lived your life
Watchin’ animals screw in your yaaaaaaard.
Nekrotzar
June 23rd, 2009 at 5:33 pm
#76. Is Quill’s name not Bruce then? That’s going to cause a bit of confusion ’round here.
commodorejohn
June 23rd, 2009 at 5:46 pm
#93 Uncle Lumpy – You, sir, have my vote for COTW. If songs aren’t normally considered, well, this one damn well should be.
Violet
June 23rd, 2009 at 5:54 pm
It’s surprising that Mark is able to have such a decided preference between country and city girls considering the only distinguishing characteristic appears to be a marginal difference in hair length.
Nekrotzar
June 23rd, 2009 at 6:19 pm
#50 I have no doubt that Margo’s linguistic skills are quite extraordinary, but it this particular case there’s no need for her to exercise them, as every newspaper I saw when I was in India was printed in English (well, British).
I like the way the artist provides a sense of location in the hotel room. That framed greenish blob in the 2nd panel just screams out ‘West Bengal.’ In Rajasthan the framed blobs are red, while in Tamil Nadu the colored blobs eschew frames altogether.
nowukkers
June 23rd, 2009 at 6:26 pm
MT – The supposed kiss in the final panel looks like Elrod photo-shopped MT’s head on the shoulders of Cherry’s secret paramour, who was hiding outside when Oafy McDoltwalker went to confront the president of the chemical company – and upon whom Cherry pounced immediately thereafter. I doubt MT has ever come close to consummating any relationship he’s ever had – except with livestock.
nowukkers
June 23rd, 2009 at 6:33 pm
76 – Harry Pothead. An updated amendment (the Steve Irwin Memorial Amendment – West 2008) requires at least one “crikey” every 15 minutes and a “blimey” whenever seen in the same frame as a moderately attractive looking female (for which, obviously, neither Tiffany nor LuAnn qualifies)
One-eyed Wolfdog
June 23rd, 2009 at 6:46 pm
That whole Aussie bit started as a sort of prank on other countries, and rather like Gary Larson’s cows out in the field, they would revert to talking normally when they were sure no-one was looking (or listening, as the case may be). But then they found it was good for the tourism industry, and after a while, like kids who starts saying ‘dude’ ironically and then can’t drop it, they just fell into doing it all the time despite frequently having no idea themselves what they’re talking about. They see themselves held up as ridiculous caricatures in imbecile comics like Luann and all they can do is sob incoherently over their pie floaters. Tragic circumstance.
jnoble
June 23rd, 2009 at 6:54 pm
Beetle: Ha Ha! You’re going to die alone and scared!
MT: This may be the first time I’ve seen Our Hero show his straight from 1956 wife any kind of non-robotic affection. Even the fish in panel two is jumping for joy.
Fashion Police
June 23rd, 2009 at 6:57 pm
99, nowukkers:
Tiffany would qualify if she wore eighty-five per cent less makeup and dressed more like Miss Phelps.
Jesse C
June 23rd, 2009 at 6:59 pm
Which John Prine song more aptly represents Sarge, Dear Abby or Sam Stone?
Islamorada Girl
June 23rd, 2009 at 6:59 pm
Right now, it’s 119 in Mumbai, yet Margo is wearing a turtleneck.
I guess Josh is right and she really is a cold blooded lizardwoman.
Poteet
June 23rd, 2009 at 7:18 pm
Luann — Maybe we could develop a Mudge drinking, er, bingo game, based on which required Australian phrases are used by Quill and which ones are used first. I’m betting on “barbie,” “dinki-di,” and “good on ya.”
Poteet
June 23rd, 2009 at 7:23 pm
# 60 gnome — Thank you. I only wish the concept were entirely fictional. The REG is not quite as obsessed with the Iowa angle as it used to be, but still.
# 91 Mr. O’Malley — Alas:-).
# 93 Uncle Lumpy — Ooh, good one!
boojum
June 23rd, 2009 at 7:37 pm
Ways to Tell You’ve Spent Too Much Time on This Site Lately:
At a stop light today, a large green truck drove by emblazoned with “Poteet’s Tree Service.” I pointed and yelled “POTEET!!” — only to find everyone else in the car staring at me with a mixture of startled surprise and incipient pity.
True, that’s the kind of look I often generate. But still….
Mr. O'Malley
June 23rd, 2009 at 7:57 pm
93 Uncle Lumpy. The original version of the song was written back in the early 17th century:
The pun in the fourth line is intentional but not original. Shakespeare did it first—Hamlet III ii 120-121.
ChattyGenes
June 23rd, 2009 at 7:59 pm
#107 boojum. A while back, I came up with a name for that sort of thing. I call it a “CC moment.”
If a CC moment is private (that is, it’s only you there, noticing something that makes you think of CC), that’s fine. The difficult ones are the ones that cause you to say something, or shout out something, or laugh inappropriately when others are with you, causing them to give you strange looks.
And have you ever tried to follow up with an EXPLANATION to said people? I don’t recommend it. “Oh, well you see, there’s this website I like where people snark on comics–”
“Where they WHAT?”
“Uh…snark on comics…yeah…and anyway in Mary Worth the other day, there was this–”
“What? MARY WORTH?”
Well, you get the idea. Even if you can get farther ahead in your explanation than my example above, it won’t help matters; you just keep digging yourself into a deeper hole, while people stand at the surface and peer down at you incredulously.
That being said, I have a daughter who is home just now, whom I sometimes read comics and CC comments to, and who knows about True Fable’s passion for goats. We were watching a video of MAMA MIA the other day (which takes place in Greece), and it was HER not me, who shouted out “GOAT!!” when one appeared:-)
commodorejohn
June 23rd, 2009 at 8:08 pm
#108 Mr. O’Malley – Ooh, I’m saving that one. One of the things I love about the Comics Curmudgeon is all the stuff the ‘Mudges introduce me to that I’d never have found otherwise :)
sugarpie
June 23rd, 2009 at 8:31 pm
Chattygenes 109 Thanks God it’s not just me. During the comparatively short time I’ve been reading the CC I’ve more than one of these momentsl. Being in Texas as I am, the most prominent is http://www.strawberryfestival.com/
EVERY TIME Poteet posts, it’s all I can do to keep from shrieking “Hey Poteet! Love yur berries!”
Thank goodness the years have given me a little control over my Tourette’s.
Jilliterate
June 23rd, 2009 at 8:32 pm
They mentioned Newfoundland in the Globe and Mail?!?! Woop woop!
Sequitur
June 23rd, 2009 at 8:52 pm
I ain’t no prude and I don’t want to seem rude but
I see sex all the time.
I’ve detected it’s non-protected and
I see sex all the time.
Be it mule or cow or horse or dog;
I even watch ‘em when I chain ‘em to a log.
It’s rutting where they lay and I must say,
I see sex all the time (and I ain’t even participating)
Yes, I see sex all the time (right in my backyard)
Oh, I see sex all the time.
(spoken) Just watch that great dane and chihuahua .
Ooooh, you know that’s gonna leave a mark.
Ben
June 23rd, 2009 at 8:54 pm
@11 HobbesFan: Wow, reading the comments on the Kansas Star, is just, wow… these people love those comics! LOVE THEM! SHOE! WIZARD OF ID! BEETLE BAILEY!
“Lose Family Circus? Why, that’s crazy!” “Please get rid of Lio!”
Who are these people? I think they’re plants from the syndicates. Or the relatives of the current creators… or maybe bad comics are just that adored by the masses.
sak
June 23rd, 2009 at 9:07 pm
Mark and Cherry spend an intimate moment with Cherry attempting a kiss, and Mark stubbornly maintains his “romantic grimace.” They are then crushed to death by the flopping of a monstrous fish. I think they would have wanted to got out that way.
One-eyed Wolfdog
June 23rd, 2009 at 9:23 pm
It’s sort of depressing to see people in the comments section complaining about Cul de Sac, especially for it not being funny. It’s a subtle strip, and a smart one, both of which probably doom it, but it can make me laugh until I’m doubled over. And there’s never a hint of a cheap laugh or lazy gag recycling.
Sequitur
June 23rd, 2009 at 9:29 pm
116 One-eyed Wolfdog
Gotta agree with you on Cul de Sac. It’s a keeper.
sugarpie
June 23rd, 2009 at 9:35 pm
Luann Another exotic guy for Luann to throw herself at? Yeesh.
Evans is the Sizzler salad bar of the comics page: promising so much and delivering nothing that’s very tasty. Lots of the daily strips start a new story that, in the end, comes up short. But Luann guanantees that each and every reader is going to be disappointed off by the time Saturday rolls around.
Quill. Where does Evans get these names? Tiger Beat?
McSmeag
June 23rd, 2009 at 9:36 pm
Today’s Lockhorns is really even more depressing that the strip’s usual fare. People being baffled by excessive technology in cellphones is nothing new in comic strips, but look at the phone the vendor is offering Leroy: when was the last time you saw a cell phone that large? 1984? This is clearly a positively ancient phone with extremely outdated and simple technology–likely consisting of nothing more than numerical buttons one pushes to dial–but Leroy can’t even wrap his feeble mind around that. What’s more, he worries he’d have difficulty finding a phone that is as large as his bloated head. Leroy has transformed from a simple loser into a utterly incapable, frail shell of a man, and Lockhorns has gone from just being about a loveless marriage to being about the rapid bodily degeneration that comes with increased age. Next he’ll develop testicular cancer and the strip will change its name to Funky Winkerbean.
Sequitur
June 23rd, 2009 at 9:38 pm
118 sugarpie
There’s still Sizzlers out there? Ewww.
Katya
June 23rd, 2009 at 9:42 pm
Dennis the Menace:
No, Mom, that means, “Don’t take small children, especially boys, into shops where fragile and expensive goods are sold!”
Sequitur
June 23rd, 2009 at 9:44 pm
121 Katya
Are you my wife? That’s exactly what she said today after reading Dennis.
sugarpie
June 23rd, 2009 at 9:48 pm
Sequiter 120 Exactly!
I was going to say Golden Corral but that was going to bring Dinette Set into the arguement and …well, I just couldn’t.
Joe Btfsplk
June 23rd, 2009 at 10:01 pm
I’m pretty sure I’ve said this before, but Blondie should wear black all the time.
Poteet
June 23rd, 2009 at 10:07 pm
# 107 boojum — Ooh, thanks for telling me! My own tree service, wow!
I’m sorry about the surprise and incipient pity, though. I swear that if I ever see “boojum” anywhere, I will yell out with glee. I would have anyway. I don’t know what “boojum” means, but it sounds cool.
# 109 Chatty — I know what you mean. I’ve had CC moments too.
# 111 sugarpie — Oh. My. Goodness. I knew Poteet was a town in Texas that had a festival, but I sure didn’t realize the scope. And I just now finished a big bowl of strawberries, too. Thanks for the link!
NoahSnark
June 23rd, 2009 at 10:11 pm
Cow’s in the street, llama’s in prison, and Margo in a hotel room. Is Apartment 3-G turning into a petting zoo?
Poteet
June 23rd, 2009 at 10:13 pm
# 116 Wolfdog — Comic tastes will always differ. I agree with you on Cul de Sac, though. I really enjoy it now. I’ve even gotten to like Alice’s nose, and at first it drove me crazy.
# 123 sugarpie — I don’t know about Sizzler, but I had one of the worst dining experiences of my life at a Golden Corral. Picture dozens of flies, and that was just the beginning. The Golden Corral in question went out of business two months later. I’m guessing that the sanitation inspectors said it was that or face prosecution.
Sequitur
June 23rd, 2009 at 10:14 pm
123 sugarpie
Thanks for not mentioning Golden Corral. My mother-in-law always wants to go to Golden Corral. It makes her and the rest of us sick. I think she’s finally learned her lesson. However, we had to get her into assisted living first.
Katya
June 23rd, 2009 at 10:21 pm
#122 — Sequitur:
Could be, but I’m pretty certain I’m not. My husband spends his spare time on the computer playing some serious chess.
I feel such a sense of solidarity with your wife, as though we are comrades-in-arms of a sort. Only one who has been in the trenches can understand. Ha, ha!
Sequitur
June 23rd, 2009 at 10:24 pm
Poteet
I seem to remember that Steve Canyon had a ward named Poteet (with a floppy hat). Is that from where you created your moniker?
Sequitur
June 23rd, 2009 at 10:30 pm
129 Katya
Nope. I quit playing chess years ago when Spock beat me. Oh, wait, that wasn’t me.
I just spend my spare time writing novelty songs like #113 above.
Poteet
June 23rd, 2009 at 10:35 pm
# 130 Sequitur — Yes. I had a serious crush on Steve Canyon as a child, and was mildly obsessed with the strip. I even remember dreaming about it, which must have been interesting, since I didn’t always entirely understand what was going on.
Sequitur
June 23rd, 2009 at 10:37 pm
132 Poteet
Okay. Now I know what you look like. You cutie you.
Farley's Revenge
June 23rd, 2009 at 10:44 pm
Luann: Wait. I thought Tiffany had been booted out of the Chamber of Commerce for her part in TJ’s scheme to bilk firefighters. Have they taken her back? Is she delusional?
Most importantly, why am I even spending time on this instead of eating pizza?
sugarpie
June 23rd, 2009 at 10:45 pm
127 Poteet I keep promising myself that one year Im going to get myself to the Poteet Strawberry Festival (while hoping it is completely carnie-less) but spring is always so busy at work. Sigh.
128 Sequiter I once went into the local Golden Coral intending to do serious damage to the desert bar. But when I notice that the employee restocking the little bowls was dragging the end of an ace bandage (coming unwrapped from around her elbow) across the chocolate pudding, um…I lbolted. It was Winkerbean-esque. True story.
Muffaroo
June 23rd, 2009 at 10:49 pm
Poteet @125 – I trust this will make it all clear:
“Just the place for a Snark!” the Bellman cried,
As he landed his crew with care;
Supporting each man on the top of the tide
By a finger entwined in his hair.
“Just the place for a Snark! I have said it twice:
That alone should encourage the crew.
Just the place for a Snark! I have said it thrice:
What I tell you three times is true.” …
Incidentally, the first time I heard any form of the word “snark” was over 40 years ago when my oldest sister caught a black widow spider and named it “Snarky.” Not the one that bit Dad.
Katya
June 23rd, 2009 at 10:54 pm
Judge Parker:
Well, “reality” may have “happened” inside Sophie’s head, but certainly not in the strip as a whole.
How ironic, but who needs reality, anyhow? I think the current plotline is crazy fun to read! And I do mean “crazy!”
Katya
June 23rd, 2009 at 10:57 pm
#130 — Sequitur:
“Is that from where…?”
Whoa! Good job!
Sequitur
June 23rd, 2009 at 11:04 pm
137 Katya
I agree. This story line is a hoot. It’s the most fun I’ve had reading Judge Parker in like, well, forever. (Okay. The pot laden brownie thing was kind of good.) And now Sophie’s got to ruin it with reality. Darn brat.
and 138 – I try not to end a sentence with a preposition. That’s not where it’s at.
gnome de blog
June 23rd, 2009 at 11:16 pm
137, 139
Second the motion. Isn’t that what the funnies are for? Who needs Reality TV? Not that anything that EVER happens in front of a TV camera is real.
Mel AKA "Mel"
June 23rd, 2009 at 11:18 pm
Poteet @132
For me it was Race Bannon.
Sequitur
June 23rd, 2009 at 11:19 pm
135 sugarpie
If you’re wanting to go to the Poteet Strawberry Festival, that would make me assume you’re in Texas. I’m in Texas. Hmmm. But you’re probably South Texas. I’m about 35 miles south of the Oklahoma border. Waaay up north.
Katya
June 23rd, 2009 at 11:23 pm
Mary Worth:
Delilah does not really mean “transitory,” but “transient.” Child prodigy, huh?
Oh, yeah, I think I read on here that that was in music. In that case, she must be forgiven. One can’t be expected to be good at everything!
Okay, I’ve read the requisite comics for the day. Nite-nite, all!
Sequitur
June 23rd, 2009 at 11:28 pm
141 Mel AKA “Mel”
Race Bannon? From Jonny Quest?
Pretty cool guy. But wait. Didn’t Jonny Quest’s dad, Dr. Benton Quest, have a beard and moustache? In the Mark Trail world he’d be crusin’ for the Fist ‘O Justice. I don’t know. Trail might meet his match there.
Sequitur
June 23rd, 2009 at 11:34 pm
Time to go. Conan’s about to start. Got to see the monologue. Whow! Lisa Kurdrow’s on! May have to stay up a little longer.
G’Nite all.
Farley's Revenge
June 23rd, 2009 at 11:38 pm
Another ‘Mudge from Texas, and I’m fairly close to Poteet though I have yet to make the effort to go to the festival.
I have, however, made it to Bandera, the self-proclaimed Cowboy Capital.
sugarpie
June 23rd, 2009 at 11:42 pm
142 Sequiter Thats right! But I’m down here in the hurricane belt-not only hot, but nice and humid. And as an added fillip, we’re actually expecting Rex and June to show up at the Galveston cruise terminal any
daymonth now: the perils of living on the coast. But north Texas (aka Baja Oklahoma)? Thats for the hardcore!Im off to catch L. Kudrow. Goodnight all.
boojum
June 24th, 2009 at 12:00 am
Poteet @ 125: Muffaroo has it right; my nom de snark is from Carroll’s poem. The boojum is the deadliest specie of snark. Oddly enough, I found Carroll’s nonsense through another favorite poet — Ogden Nash, who wrote “The Snark Was a Boojum Was a Prawn.”
True Fable
June 24th, 2009 at 12:01 am
#75 GOAT! Goat whisperer! I must say, I like your name!
It speaks to me!
True Fable
June 24th, 2009 at 12:24 am
Fist O Justice Theater Lady, it’s the only single thing Mark does know; humor him a little.
Sam Driver, Chick Magnet & Friends I like how Barreto’s slipped in a Conan the Barbarian reference in panel one.
Meddle House A lead contender for the Most Awkward Pose category in the Bee Grinding 2009 awards!
Children of the Circle Geez, neither kid looks big enough to be out of the womb yet. Well, except for their melon-sized heads.
Scenes from Suburban Hell Trixie is stoned, man, stoned in panel one. I’m half expecting the flowers to issue “go straight” orders to her.
C’haft If Mindy’s 18 or so, that would mean she was born around 1990. The great migrating herds of hippies that once roamed these lands were nearly extinct by then, surviving in small nesting groups that I’m fairly sure, were nowhere near where her mom lived. Maybe a conical bra or glam-punk hair would be closer to what Pam might have worn.
Failly Whoopsiedaisy “I agree…My most humiliating moment was dating this middle-aged dorkosaur with unhealthy fixations about his teenage daughter. Sound familiar?”
Martha
June 24th, 2009 at 12:25 am
Apparently, Davy Crockett caps are all the rage with hipsters. (link contains profanity but no nudity)
Katya
June 24th, 2009 at 12:27 am
I was born in Dallas, all you Texans…does that count? Only stayed there for six months, however, as my Swiss father really wanted to live in…dare I say it?…California! Don’t hate me because I’m a Californian — we have feelings, too!
Here’s a funny (to me, anyway) little story:
Last summer, my husband, two sons and I went camping along the Rogue River in Oregon. One day we took a boat tour of the river, and our guide, in addition to being very knowledgeable about the flora and fauna of the area, was a really charismatic, funny guy.
After all the passengers had become comfortable with him, and were laughing and relaxed, he started asking individuals from where they came (no dangling prepositions here, Sequitur!). Stupid, stupid me. I piped up, in a cheery tone, “California!”
For just a fraction of a second, I believe there was utter silence. But not for longer than that; this guy was on it so fast! He responded, in his best good-ole-boy accent,
“Welcome to America!!!”
As someone else wrote up above, true story.
Master Mahan
June 24th, 2009 at 12:37 am
Margo’s visit to India can only end one way: with her being hailed as Kali, the terrible goddess of wrath and corpse.
Master Mahan
June 24th, 2009 at 12:38 am
^^^corpses.
*smacks self*
True Fable
June 24th, 2009 at 12:54 am
Dont Ask Dont Tell Does hair conditioner have the power to do that? If so, then why do women spend so much money on perms?
Canadian Zombie Catch it quick – today’s strip is actually pretty nice. I know, I know, but I’m not lying, I swear! And I’m not swearing either. Wow – that is different, especially when it comes to this POS comic!
Frank Parsnip
June 24th, 2009 at 1:03 am
MW: Delilah would raise children to love music, art, literature and mankind; Lawrence would raise children to eat them.
MT: Mark: “I know something.” Miss Williams: “Good for you.”
Beetle Bailey: Does conditioner act as perm solution? I mean, grabbing the conditioner bottle tends to just make my hair a bit smoother.
A3G: “Of course, that monk’s speaking up about the prison existing in the midst of his monastery promptly led to the centuries-old facility being razed by the People’s Armed Police with all the people inside.”
Momma: Thomas would be glad to just be able to fix his wreck of a house and finally get a couch, but his mom has grandiose plans of upgrading the servants. Apparently they live like landed gentry – burdened with obligations to servants retained for generations and yet with crumbling walls, leaky roof, unfinished wings, and the detritus of centuries of Hobbs nobility. If there is any doubt, look at the inbred moron Francis for your proof.
Jugs Parker: Being “most competitive” is more a key attribute to being a cheerleader than coordiation, balance, poise and charm? I thought being “most competitive” would be helpful for the athletes receiving the cheerleaders’ cheers, but what do I know…
Blondie: Panel 1 looks like it was copied out of “The Insult That Made a Man out of Mack”. Oh, thanks Charles Atlas! Through “Dynamic Stenchin’” I’ve been able to reach the buttons on my landline phone to call my cell phone so I can hear where it is.
Sex Organ, M.D.: I don’t know if anybody has pointed out this before, but why the hell is he wearing a suit on a cruise ship in the tropics? Sure, like if he were doing the North Atlantic run in the Queen Mary in 1950 it’d be fine. And if he were dressing in a tux for one of the cruise ship’s “special” nights, I’d understand. But while he might need the extra pockets for chloroform and roofies, surely he could address that with some cargo shorts?
Chromium
June 24th, 2009 at 1:04 am
Weird, because I thought Sarge had a wife. I’ve seen him hanging out with some portly, curly-haired chick before. Is that his mom?
Jack Parsons
June 24th, 2009 at 2:36 am
#34: That’s Dr. Lo in drag.
FC When you find him sexually exciting.
Uncle Lumpy
June 24th, 2009 at 2:58 am
#157 Chromium –
That’s Sgt. Lugg, his nominal girlfriend.
True Fable
June 24th, 2009 at 5:13 am
# 159 Uncle Lumpy said:
That’s Sgt. Lugg, his
nominal girlfriendbeard.Fixed.
KarMann
June 24th, 2009 at 5:23 am
Fat Cat: Hello, Mr. Davis? The Warner Brothers called. (And the Warner Sister.) They want their joke back.
ANDREA
June 24th, 2009 at 6:30 am
SPEAKING OF HIDING IN FURRY SUITS – http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090621 (last panel)
dreadedcandiru2
June 24th, 2009 at 6:31 am
The Ugly Canadian: Check out Lynn’s diary entry about her trip to Mexico. After reading it, you’ll realize why they shoot tourists.
One-eyed Wolfdog
June 24th, 2009 at 6:38 am
Delilah wants to raise her children in a small box where they will earn their food pellets by executing increasingly sophisticated manipulations of model musical instruments.
Lawrence agrees, but also feels the floor of the box should be electrified to provide corrections in case of wrong notes or slack rhythm.
Little Guy
June 24th, 2009 at 7:37 am
118: This is “Luann” — Brian Williams would be considered exotic.
JP: Again, I say to you — what if she sucked? And if she did and got the slot, wouldn’t it just prove what the Mean Cheerleading Moms were saying all along? And does this make the moral of the story: Be Meaner.
Wait, that’s the moral of 9CL, FBOFW, Gil “Gitmo” Thorp, Mark “I know something!” Trail….
*sigh*
smacky
June 24th, 2009 at 7:53 am
FW: Lowlights? Les has only begun to catalog his lowlights for you. Wait until you finaly cave and give him the one-time pity lay and he tells you (through tears, of course) about how his dead wife Lisa is watching and smiling. Then he starts doing something that makes you even more uncomfortable, all the while staring in the corner and muttering quietly, “Am I doing this right, Lisa? Am I doing this right?”
One-eyed Wolfdog
June 24th, 2009 at 8:02 am
#156 – if you make any enquiries on the matter in real life, do be sure to enunciate “as perm solution” quite carefully.
One-eyed Wolfdog
June 24th, 2009 at 8:09 am
A plugger, drawn sufficiently large, fills up enough of the panel that the artist is relieved from drawing any background details or exercising any creativity in any perceptible way whatsoever.
One-eyed Wolfdog
June 24th, 2009 at 8:40 am
Near as I can tell from the third panel of GT, that girl just gave a softball an uppercut. In the stands, Mark Trail watches and nods appreciatively.
One-eyed Wolfdog
June 24th, 2009 at 8:50 am
That school counselor in JP always makes me think of the Scorpions song, Kicks After Six. She just seems like the type.
Brick Bradford
June 24th, 2009 at 9:27 am
Poteet, et. al. My childhood comic strip crush was the amazingly named Saturn Sadie in Brick Bradford. Thus my utter heartbreak when I picked up our Ottumwa Courier one Monday, only to discover that Brick had been replaced by Ally Oop. To this day I have no use for Oop, and wonder how Brick and Sadie ever got out of the fix they were in.
A3G: Ain’t he the clever feller?
MW: More cocktails, mule!
MT: “I know something you don’t! Don’t you want to know? I’m not going to tell you. You reallly want to know, don’t you. Too bad! Aren’t you going to ask me what I know?” Mature, Mark.
DT: Help is on the way! This being the Dick Tracy SWAT team they will no doubt be stymied by the obstacles the encounter at the casino–like closed doors.
gleeb
June 24th, 2009 at 9:29 am
Between Friends: Oh no! She might accidentally be happy! Look, I know this is the guy who way intercepting her telephone messages, but that’s not what her friend purports to be worried about. She’s upset that someone may feel joy.
Gil: Wouldn’t that last panel work better if she had a bat?
Mary: So, what is the tiny difference between their methods of child-rearing? “I wanted to dress the eventual toddlers in little overalls and he didn’t!” Or would that be too serious a choice?
Phantom: I think that man has taken a vow to avoid verbs. “Nice hat! Trilby!”
Slylock: The fox’s eyes met the count’s. Now was the chance they’d been waiting for; Max would be stranded in the distant past and peace would come to their little community.
queek
June 24th, 2009 at 9:34 am
Lio: YES!!! (total win, Mr. Tatulli, well done!)
MC: awwwww, cute puppykid in the daydream!
OBH: omg, he DID go there! “hey ruthy naybor?”
FREE FRAZZ!: I didn’t know that Malett was in my voting district. . . .
SpeedBump: yes it does!!!!!
buckyswife
June 24th, 2009 at 9:41 am
SM: He lacks superhero talent himself, but at least Spidey can appreciate it in others. He’s the Salieri of superheroes!
(Let me pre-empt those of you who will tell me that Salieri was actually talented—yes, I know.)
JP: “You’ve earned the right”? By spending an evening studying and a morning putting a braid and a clip in your hair?
FC: I suspect that if you took that friggin’ onesie off him, PJ would be a 32-year-old man.
MT: It’s kind of unnerving of Mark to hide outside the door carrying on a conversation with himself.
Deb
June 24th, 2009 at 9:46 am
I never thought I’d see the day when I kind of sided with Mary Worth in a conversation. So far we have:
Mary: You should talk to him.
Delilah: I’m not happy with how things are.
Mary: But you should talk to him.
Delilah: Things aren’t perfect.
Mary: You should discuss these important topics with him.
Delilah: I’m sad because things appear bad.
Poor guy was BEGGING Delilah to tell him what was wrong before she left, and she’s just an idiot.
commodorejohn
June 24th, 2009 at 10:02 am
A3G – *rimshot*
A.D. – Cathy: One Million Years B.C.
BrS – God dammit, goComics!
Crankshaft – I don’t believe hippies ever actually existed in the Winkerverse, because there simply cannot be any drugs there that make you feel good, or even produce interesting results; just pain and sufffering, exactly like an un-chemically altered life.
DT – The chief looks so pissed because she has to work with a bunch of cardboard stand-ins.
FC – Probably when it stops being profitable to depict him as such, I’d guess.
FB – For some reason, the notion of a Fred Basset fan club strikes me as the sort of thing you’d only join if it were state-mandated. You know, like the Hitler Youth.
FW – Cayla, for God’s sake! That’s just begging for Batiuk to unleash some terrible humiliation at the most inopportune moment! I mean, he will anyway, but do you really want to rush it?
GA – AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHH
GT – One-Eyed Wolfdog is right. There is quite clearly no bat in evidence, therefore this girl must have punched the ball. I’m not really sure what “unraveled” has to do with that, but maybe they’re referring to whatever torrid emotional state you’d have to be in to do such a thing to an innocent, un-mustachioed baseball.
JP – “What geeky girl doesn’t dream about being a cheerleader?” Quite a few, I believe. I mean, isn’t this just reinforcing the idea of the occupational ladder that we’re supposed to be opposing?
Love Is… – eating nude with the neighbor boy.
Luann – Yes, isn’t Tiffany being absolutely loathsome for having feelings for a
young-adult Gunk“handsome” young guy? After all, she obviously doesn’t deserve him, what with being a slut and all. Why doesn’t she just get back to giving blowjobs to juvenile delinquents behind the gym and let Luann go about toying with and ultimately rejecting him, as she so clearly deserves? This strip disgusts me.MT – “Guess! Guess what I found out! Don’tcha want to know? Go on, take a guess! C’mon!”
Momma – Mob violence mob violence mob violence mob violence…
MC – That poor, poor theoretical child.
Pluggers – Pluggers are those fat spherical bastards who steal the disability cart in the grocery store so they don’t have to walk to get their Twinkies and pork rinds.
Popeye – So he’s willing to get up to save Swee’Pea, but not Olive or Wimpy?
SFx – Hey, there’s the Time Crystal again. Bob, you weren’t a Commodore user, by any chance?
SM – C’mon, Wolverine. Right through the chest. And don’t forget Doc Ock while you’re at it.
Calvin's Cardboard Box
June 24th, 2009 at 10:05 am
MT – “I know something” makes me wish for an extra panel in todays strip.
“I have a special purpose, and last night Cherry showed me what it is used for. Want to know? Can I show you?”
Luann – More of Evans’ personal issues here. The only character in the strip who is getting any, and so of course she is reviled and disparaged by the other characters because of it. Much better to just wistfully fantasize without ever actually acting on your desires.
mojo
June 24th, 2009 at 10:14 am
Mark Trail: “I like country girls the best. When their fathers keep them locked safely away from civilization, they become incredibly stupid, generally desperate, and hence more willing to settle for the first neglectful, emotionally stunted idiot who comes along.”
The Goat Whisperer
June 24th, 2009 at 10:21 am
#149 True Fable – Come in close. A little closer. Good. Listen (whispers). I know you like goats. You’re good with goats. You take care of your goats. I can trust you. I’m really an agent for the FBI (Funnies Betterment Investigator). We understand there are some FOOB lovers in your midst. We must root these out and make America free from this one Canadian menace. The other Canadian menaces are okay. We can leave them alone. I know we can count on you to help us in our endeavor. Please report any reverent FOOB activity. Thank you. That is all.
So! How ’bout them Pluggers? Pretty snarky huh?!
CanuckDownSouth
June 24th, 2009 at 10:35 am
#176-commodore-JP I’m a geeky too-old-to-be-girl. I was a geeky girl. Painfully geeky. I’ve met plenty of geeky girls via the academic world, anime clubs, and sci-fi stuff. I’m not sure I’ve met a single one who wanted to be a cheerleader, and I’ve met plenty of revulsion at the thought.
I’m concerned at the principal’s turn from “she has the right to try out” to “you have the right to make that happen“. This is going to end with “studied the moves’ = “can perform amazingly well”, isn’t it? *sigh*
Poteet
June 24th, 2009 at 10:38 am
# 133 Sequitur — Why, how sweet of you! I only wish Cousin Stevie had felt the same way. *sniff*
# 134 Farley’s — Thank you. Someone’s delusional, and it’s definitely not you.
# 135 sugarpie — Arrrrgh, I believe you. Somewhere there’s probably an underground Golden Corral website full of horror stories, and I’m going to do my best to avoid it.
These Strange Worlds
June 24th, 2009 at 10:49 am
#21, CanuckDownSouth
I think there was a Myhtbusters on whether a really sharp sword could cut through a gun barrel. It was totally busted — which makes sense. No matter how hard and sharp, it isn’t easy to cut through metal. If the claws are indestructable and the force behind them is powerful enough, I guess it is possible to shatter the metal arms. But cut it? Doubtful.
Just add it to the rust heap of other Mythbuster evaluations (my favorite is whether the Phanton’s ring could really mark a person’s jaw — or just shatter the jaw bone into a zillion pieces).
Poteet
June 24th, 2009 at 10:52 am
# 136 Muffaroo & # 148 boojum — Thank you. So “boojum” is an even better name than I thought. I gotta read more Lewis Carroll.
# 141 Mel — I remember Race. I can understand that.
# 171 Brick — I am so sorry. I feel your pain. Heartbreak and an unresolved storyline — ouch.
JP — Someone knows damn little about actual real geeky girls.
Sequitur
June 24th, 2009 at 10:53 am
147 sugarpie
Sorry about the humidity but it comes with the territory. “Baja Oklahoma” ain’t so bad. To paraphrase one great Oklahoman, “I never met an Okie I didn’t like.” Of course, I’ve never met an Oklahoma politician either. Keep cool the best you can.
178 mojo
I sure hope your Mark Trail extended philosophy doesn’t apply to yourself. With an attitude like that the country girls I know would eat you alive. They’d chain you to a log then eat you alive. Of course they would be very polite about it.
181 Poteet
When I was a teenager I was in the Civil Air Patrol. I thought that was you.
TheDiva
June 24th, 2009 at 11:01 am
176 commodorejohn re: Crankshaft: I’m pretty sure Mom went to Kent State as well, so for her being a hippie wasn’t about free love and drugs, but watching in horror as her fellow hippies were gunned down by the National Guard.
FW: “Wait, I’ve got one–I’m dating you.”
Lio: Oh, if only.
Luann: *blows whistle* Foul! Quill said several sentences without using one stereotypical Australian slang term. For penance, he must recite the Monty Python Bruces sketch five times.
Pluggers cling desperately to the fading memories and meager accomplishments of their youth, knowing that their life ahead is only filled with increasing poverty, physical decline, and death.
Artist formerly known as Ben
June 24th, 2009 at 11:03 am
6/24
S-M: “Face it, Ock. You’re outclassed. Not by me of course, but you’re still outclassed. So there.”
9CL: Is Thorax’s jutting rump supposed to be turning me on? ‘Cause I ain’t feelin’ it.
BC: Haha, oh my sides hurt. It’s funny because she’s usually almost as lazy as this joke.
Lockhorns: I can remember when Riley Freeman was the only funnies character who talked about “keeping it real.” Times have changed.
Phantom: In my experience, people who say things like “Nice dog! Big!” don’t hire killers. They have nurses hired to cut up their food.
H&L: From her slack expression and flesh-colored eyes, I’m guessing that Trixie found mommy’s secret stash of Barbiturates.
FC: “We’ve been over this, Jeffy. This family can only provide inane dialogue for three children.”
GT: Molly Kinsella’s replacement is already so unraveled that she’s getting struck out by the catcher.
M-Dawg: “I seem to have forgotten to wear panties today, hint hint.”
DtM: Dennis–still not a menace–has basically no taste buds. At this point Margaret really has no excuse for not knowing that.
SFx: For all the colorful criminals who live in their town, Sly and Max never get any homicide cases. Guess that’s why they’re taking Count Weirdly’s Global Extinction Fun Ride. Even before the asteroid hits, they get to see the carnage of an ichthyosaur getting gutted.
Poteet
June 24th, 2009 at 11:18 am
# 184 Sequitur — I’m impressed! I hope you impressed some cuties in your area:-).
Slylock — For me, this adds a whole new dimension to the Sly/Weirdly relationship. Now I think we need a prequel on how they met.
Vince M
June 24th, 2009 at 11:19 am
176: If Crankshaft had hippies, they’d be like Neil in ‘The Young Ones’.
Sequitur
June 24th, 2009 at 11:24 am
A Pluggers hippie is just an old bear (rhino, chicken, dawg) with big hips.
mojo
June 24th, 2009 at 11:34 am
#184 Sequitur: Naw, only the Mark ”n’ Cherry dynamic, which quite frankly has me stumped. I’m actually a country gal myself—where I live there’s more bears than people—and I find it hard to believe ANY female would put up with Mark Trail for very long.
dreadedcandiru2
June 24th, 2009 at 11:37 am
The Ugly Canadian: For those of you with strong stomachs, here’s Day Two of Lynn being a total frakking dirfwad.
Sequitur
June 24th, 2009 at 11:38 am
190 mojo
Amen, y’all.
Chip Whittle
June 24th, 2009 at 11:39 am
So Spider-Man can most effectively surprise a supervillain by turning out to be conscious?
Sequitur
June 24th, 2009 at 11:42 am
191 dreadedcandiru2
Boy what a disappointment. I clicked on “STRIP FIX!!” hoping to be able to fix her strip but all that appeared was the strip-o-the-day. Foo.
tb4000
June 24th, 2009 at 11:53 am
BB: And now, ladies and germs, we understand why Sarge is always kicking the shit out of Beetle.
BRWombat
June 24th, 2009 at 11:58 am
Wait, Margo only noticed cows in the street from her hotel room window??? How did she get to the hotel without seeing them? By transporter beam? Blindfolded? Being so completely self-absorbed that she was oblivious to the world around her? Oh, okay.
Rob
June 24th, 2009 at 11:58 am
The look on Dr. Ock’s face when one of his tentecles gets cut off and he finds out it was chopped by some previously unheard of super metal-
Mild Suprise
The look on Dr. Ock’s face when he realizes that Spiderman is actually awake during a fight-
TOTAL SHOCK
Sequitur
June 24th, 2009 at 12:02 pm
197 Rob
Whew. When I first read “tentecles” I thought it was something else.
Katya
June 24th, 2009 at 12:02 pm
#184 — Sequitur:
Re: #181 — Poteet:
I take umbrage, sir, at the implication in your link that it’s only males who do the flyin’! Not true in my case, or my former flight instructor’s, either.
Actually, I’m amazed that Poteet is even apparently being encouraged to take on the responsibility of air traffic control. Shouldn’t she go back to the kitchen or something?
One-eyed Wolfdog
June 24th, 2009 at 12:10 pm
It’s a poster from 1957. Exactly how prescient were they supposed to be?
Sequitur
June 24th, 2009 at 12:31 pm
Yeah. And when I was in the CAP the gals didn’t have those form-fitting uniforms anymore. And we did have some female pilots. I’d say they were pretty good pilots but that might sound patronizing. Heck, all our pilots were good.
Katya
June 24th, 2009 at 12:32 pm
#200 — One-eyed Wolfdog:
Yeah, yeah, I know it’s old…obviously I have a big chip on my shoulder concerning the subject.
However, even though that panel comes from a long gone era, to the best of my knowledge it’s still true today that the vast majority of pilots, both in commercial and general aviation, continue to be male.
Also, I’ve experienced the disdain of some male pilots for their female counterparts, so it’s not like things are all that different today than they were fifty years ago, unfortunately.
I wasn’t being dead-serious in my comment, anyhow; I know there are far worse things going on in the world. I was really just being kinda sarcastic.
So…back to the comics!
Sequitur
June 24th, 2009 at 12:40 pm
Sounds like someone needs to talk to Mary Worth.
Charterstoned
June 24th, 2009 at 12:54 pm
MT – #103- I think John Prine’s Dear Abby could work with the current goofy shenanigans:
Dear MT., dear MT., you won’t believe this,
But the fish all start jumpin’ whenever we kiss!
All the flesh colored pancakes start quiverin’ too.
Makes me wolf down my breakfast and jump onto you.
Signed, “I’m horny.”
Dear Horny, dear Horny, your lips are like wine,
But you know I’m no drinker of juice from the vine!
So you’d best keep your distance and do as I wish,
And forget all this nonsense and calm down the fish.
Signed, “I’m Neutered.”
Dear Neutered, dear Neutered, you’re my son-in-law,
But I just never figured on that little flaw!
Now my daughter’s just itchin’ to have just one ride
So her name stops reflecting her life as your bride.
Signed, “Doc Davis.”
Katya
June 24th, 2009 at 12:58 pm
#203 — Sequitur:
You know, I…I…I think you just might be right. Maybe she can help me with my troubles.
She does know everything, after all, an important fact I learned right here, thanks to all of you. Or am I thinking of another character, in a different strip???
Oh, I don’t know…I’m all confused…I get them all mixed up — but does it really matter in the end? Basically, they all seem pretty interchangeable to me!
Sequitur
June 24th, 2009 at 1:04 pm
205 Katya
I don’t know about helping you with your troubles but you can get some delightful salmon squares and an undisclosed liquid in a small styrofoam cup to sip throught a straw. As good as Golden Corral!
Comrade Denny
June 24th, 2009 at 1:07 pm
DtM: This would be menacing had Dennis intentionally made a shitty sandwich – or just made a shit sandwich – expressly to give to Margaret, but as it stands, he’s actually trying to be nice. He just likes to mix his condiments.
6/24’s
DT: I get it! Big Ace never loses! And when he loses to Dick, it will be all ironic and shit. I hope Tracy gave him a deck of exploding cards or something. Or better yet, razor cards, because in Dick Tracy’s police state, you don’t cut the cards – the cards cut you. Usually I feel some degree of pity for the brainless crooks who wander into the whirling blades of a Dick Tracy “investigation,” but I really want Dick to murderize and manglefy this guy, preferably with a new sound effect to capture to gruesome horror of it, perhaps something like SQUEEENCH! or SPLAACHT! or CHLUK!K!K!K!
FC: “Well, Jeffy, normally I’d say it’ll happen when start feeling the need to mix it up a bit because our shtick is getting tired and unfunny. But that ship sailed 30 years ago…”
The Unmazing Peter Sham: Alright, Logan. Not bad. You’ve accomplished more in 30 seconds on the job than Peter has in however many years he’s been tangling with Doc Ock. Now don’t make Peter’s perennial mistake of engaging the villains in conversation just as you get the upper hand. When the villain starts to jaw-jaw, break it.
Talking Squirrel
June 24th, 2009 at 1:18 pm
#108 Mr. O’Malley: The only fourth-line pun I can recognize is the “We must give golden showers” in verse 2. It looks like Rabelais beat Shakespeare to that one:
“One night when Tom Toss-Pot had been at his butts / And Joan, his fat wife, crammed with turnips her guts / … When in his sleep he’d fain have been snoring / Joan’s back door was filthily puffing and roaring / So for spite he bepissed her, and quickly did find / That a small rain stops a very high wind.”
Katya
June 24th, 2009 at 1:23 pm
#204 — Charterstoned:
Big kudos for talent, but rescinded for the “gross” factor in the content! And the same goes for all the rest of the guys’ “poems” of the last day or so.
I know I’m fairly new here, and I probably shouldn’t be so uppity, but could you all stop it now? Thank you in advance for your cooperation!
#206 — Sequitur:
Uh…no. No, thank you very much! Perhaps I’ll reconsider.
Okay, kid’s gotta go to the orthodontist now, so I’m outta here. I blame everyone for the “addictive” factor of this site! Ha, ha, ha!
Muffaroo
June 24th, 2009 at 1:29 pm
Archie – I like the sense that the domino-fall of the shelves is ongoing in the last panel.
C2Home – Ha! Old people are, like, OLD.
Dbury – So Roland’s going to be blogging with Rick soon? They could call it “Rick-rol’d.”
FCircus – Never, Jeffy. Never.
MWorth – I can just hear De-La-La’s voice. It’s sort of amusical — not musical, but tuneless, wandering aimlessly from pitch to pitch like a bored, listless Valium girl forced to read aloud in class.
PBSwine – Amazingly enough, it’s less than a week since I paid a dollar for a Barry Manilow songbook at a thrift shop that contains, literally, every Barry Manilow piece I ever wanted — and more! Specifically, the commercial jingle medley, Bandstand Boogie, and the self-pitying “Studio Musician” (which, ironically, someone else wrote) that ends
For years, I’ve substituted “should have” in that line, though last time I thought about it, I changed the repeat to “Whose mother should have died unlaid.”
PCity – Stantis has clearly been taking lessons in dragging a non-idea out from The Master.
S-Man – “You’re awake!” Octavius, I’m as shocked as you are.
Muffaroo
June 24th, 2009 at 1:30 pm
Farley’s Revenge @146 – If you make it back to Bandera, go spend a couple of hours at the Frontier Times Museum, where they truly understand that a museum should have all of its stuff out where you can see it, and every other consideration is secondary at best. Like all the best museums, the exhibits include newspaper clippings and human and animal remains, including a two-headed kid goat, which is not even the only thing they have that’s got a hefty bonus in the head department. They also have two shrunken heads (or perhaps “shrunken heads”), one of which is of the human variety. I hope I’ll get back there, because the shrunken zorro (aka: fox) head ended up blurred.
I lived in Houston for a couple of years, but Texas accounts for about half my family. In fact, my middle name is Travis (which my parents once explained to me “means Texas”). Katya, I’m a California native, but we moved to Colorado when I was almost three. I’ve now lived more than half my life elsewhere, but I still consider myself a Coloradoan.
Rob
June 24th, 2009 at 1:35 pm
DT- really “high card” they are in a CASINO and the best they could come up with was high card wins, could they not find a coin to flip. And Big Ace never loses, really cuz I would guess he loses roughly 50% of the time.
commodorejohn
June 24th, 2009 at 2:09 pm
#209 Katya – A word of warning to the sensitive: it gets worse than this. Much worse.
Bart
June 24th, 2009 at 2:17 pm
#204 – Good stuff! Thanks
Charterstoned
June 24th, 2009 at 2:22 pm
#209 – Katya, no offense intended.
Baka Gaijin
June 24th, 2009 at 2:31 pm
#120 Sequitur: There’s a Sizzler in Tokyo. Big Boy, too.
Sequitur
June 24th, 2009 at 2:41 pm
216 Baka Gaijin
YUM! (gagging noises)
Sequitur
June 24th, 2009 at 2:43 pm
210 Muffaroo
You mean it was blank?
buckyswife
June 24th, 2009 at 2:43 pm
#204 Charterstoned–Very funny!
(And Katya–that wasn’t dirty at all compared to… well, compared to a lot of what shows up here. Have you met Dingo yet? He’s got himself one unspeakably filthy mind–and he’s–deservedly–much lauded for it!)
Sequitur
June 24th, 2009 at 2:47 pm
216 Baka Gaijin
I thought the atomic bomb was way more then enough punishment for the Japanese. But a Sizzler and Big Boy too?! What did they do to deserve that?
Sequitur
June 24th, 2009 at 2:50 pm
I used a translator from English to Japanese and put in the word “Sizzler.” I then took the result and went from Japanese back to English. The word that came out was “Haymaker.”
queek
June 24th, 2009 at 2:57 pm
218: *rimshot*
Poteet
June 24th, 2009 at 3:34 pm
# 199 Katya — Keep in mind that the link dates back to 1957, unless my squint misleads me. Poteet has learned a lot since then, and today she’d be kickin’ butt and flying herself. And she salutes the women who were ahead of their time and already teaching others how to fly back then. Too bad it has taken society so long to begin to catch up with them.
Poteet
June 24th, 2009 at 3:42 pm
# 202 Katya — From what you say, some male pilots haven’t even begun to catch up. Too bad, and sympathies.
And buckyswife is right — it can get pretty gross around here. C’est la CC vie.
Old School Allie Cat
June 24th, 2009 at 4:12 pm
If FBOFW ceases to run in any papers, and the tree that was going to be used to make the newsprint to publish FBOFW falls in the woods, does the strip still suck?
Mooncattie (In the Alps!)
June 24th, 2009 at 4:14 pm
S-M – No doubt already commented on, but I was wondering whether Banks still supply those handy sacks with Dollar Signs on them or if I should instead be thanking Doc Ock for going green and not carrying plastic bags. Poor deluded criminal – he could be pulling in REAL big bucks by dumping the bank job biz for reality television. “Doc Ock Plus 8″ could feature the wacky evil genius each week trying to decide what to do with his eight tentacles. Take them to the beach, go shopping for gloves, create havoc downtown – it’s all good.
On the Alps Front, there ARE goats here! And Cows! And Cats! I promise exciting footage for True Fable and bats:[ and all…later in July! Now it’s off to groove to a rap version of the theme from “Diamonds Are Forever”. Ah, music!
Paul1963
June 24th, 2009 at 4:48 pm
Brick Bradford @71: Your story about your namesake strip caused me to flash back to when the Baltimore News-American dropped Rip Kirby in the 1970s. Rip was drugged or something and thought his butler, Desmond, was attacking him–so he shot him! Rip immediately came to his senses and was horrified, as might be expected. “My God! Desmond! I’ve killed him!”
And that was the last Rip Kirby the News-American published.
Never did find out what happened next, but since Desmond was apparently still around when the strip ended 20-some years later, I guess he wasn’t mortally wounded…
Muffaroo
June 24th, 2009 at 5:01 pm
Paul1963 @227 – The kid show “Captain Power” was interesting for a couple of reasons. One was the ads, which started out looking like normal commercials, then they were interrupted by transmissions from the soldiers of the future, who desperately needed Captain Power’s help. Another interesting feature is that it was a pioneering ‘interactive’ show — the kid at home would point his toy at the screen at vital junctures, and it would tell him if he’d been successful or not at helping Captain Power.
As often happens, the show wasn’t picked up for another season, and it ended in a cliffhanger of sorts — one of the regular characters was dead, the others were on the run from the bad guys. I always imagined that as the credits ran, a kid at home was staring in disbelief as his toy weapon slowly dropped from his benumbed fingers. I failed them! he would be thinking. Perhaps that kid tuned in next week to try and undo the damage, only to find “My Little Pony” or something in the time slot.
Where is that kid today? Did he ever find out it wasn’t his fault?
Paul1963
June 24th, 2009 at 5:02 pm
Me @227: That was Brick @171, not @71. Preview is our friend.
GA: I posted this at gocomics already, but this crowd will probably appreciate it:
(I step into the strip for a moment.)
ME: Slim, can I talk to you over here for a minute?
SLIM: Where did you come from?
ME: Never mind that for now. Gotta show you something.
(I produce a medium-sized bottle.)
ME: This, Slim, is Shinola.
(I nod in UPTON’s direction.)
ME: That, on the other hand…
Sherman’s Lagoon: Almost as distracting as the “Wait, aren’t they under water?” moments are the ones where the sharks suddenly develop fin-thumbs.
Wentworth Averell Bailey, Jr., USA: Y’know, for a middle-aged compulsive eater with one tooth and serious anger-management issues, Sarge has very nice handwriting.
Sequitur
June 24th, 2009 at 5:10 pm
229 Paul1963
I laughed at this one. Pretty good. And subtle.
This is for those who don’t know what Shinola is or the phrase associated with it.
boojum
June 24th, 2009 at 6:03 pm
Katya @ 205: Oh noes! I implore you, do not confuse Mary Worth and Margo Magee! Margo is Kali, the Destroyer of Souls, and Mary Worth is… Mary is…
Actually, I can kind of see your confusion. I never thought of it that way.
Their two styles are, however, quite different. Go to either one for compassion or genuine guidance, and pain will be the inevitable result. But the rapacious glint in Mary’s eye will say, “I wonder how I can make this meat-puppet dance?” Margo’s amused, ironic smile will say, “Kneel before Margo, and suffer gloriously, and wreck your heart on shores of infinite pain.”
I guess what I’m saying is, Margo’s way is a better ride while it lasts.
And on the subject of grossness and the poetic muse: Really? The one word “Horny?” You may want to avert your modest gaze from quite a few posts here, in verse and prose. I’d say the typical vibe swings more toward “Restoration” than “Victorian.”
knittaplease
June 24th, 2009 at 6:04 pm
I hope, hope, hope that this is just an introduction to Margo appearing in a bitchy Bollywood musical.
Ohgodplease.
dreadedcandiru2
June 24th, 2009 at 6:06 pm
#194: Sequitur — No worries. Perhaps on her next trip, someone will do the world a solid and shoot her; once she’s dead, her heirs can fix it.
Charterstoned
June 24th, 2009 at 6:55 pm
MT – “I know something.” More information about “something” can be found on the internet.
Charterstoned
June 24th, 2009 at 7:00 pm
#218 – Sequitur, that’s hilarious!
bats :[
June 24th, 2009 at 7:13 pm
191. dreadedcandiru2: I had no idea LJ was livin’ La Vida Loca, only several hundred miles away from me (shudder). Her travel journal is intriguing, not so much because she’s in Meh-HEE-Ko (I can imagine her pronouncing it like Peggy Hill), but because of the charming (I guess) Canadian terminology that she peppers her writing with (when she’s not peppering it with the occasional Spanish term).
Perhaps some Canadians can check my attempts at “translating” from Torontonian:
“The biff is a long tiled room with an open shower in the middle. A curtain separates the flusher from the douche which is next to the sink. An interesting and functional configuration…”
biff = bathroom
flusher = toilet
douche = LJ
migellito
June 24th, 2009 at 7:24 pm
bats – And lo, you have already provided what must surely become the cotw. Bravo!
Jamus The Bartender
June 24th, 2009 at 7:41 pm
191. I’m just praying Lynn Johnston finds some non licenced knockoffs of For Better Or For Worse DVDs while in Mexico. I would pay big dinero for a spanish dubbed copy of ” Farley Saves April And Dies” or ” Liz Meets Howard Erk”.
Jamus The Bartender
June 24th, 2009 at 7:52 pm
191. Or…better yet, a libretto comic book featuring recent FOOB storylines, but with lots of the ol’ ultra violence and sex….whoa, I need help.
Mibbitmaker
June 24th, 2009 at 7:52 pm
OBH: Calvin& Hobbes + PBSwine = …
Ghost-Who-Stalks: Phantom + Marmaduke = …
Mibbitmaker
June 24th, 2009 at 7:58 pm
This decade’s Pre-”Re-FOOB” FOOB was ultra-violence. Metaphorically. At us.
Re-FOOB’s just annoying, most of the time.
bats :[
June 24th, 2009 at 8:05 pm
239. Jamus the Bartender: hmmm…Oaxacan Bibles, perhaps?
Poteet
June 24th, 2009 at 8:23 pm
# 191 dreaded — *sigh* This reminds me that I had hoped once that Lynn would retire, have a great time doing whatever she wanted to do, and let Foob end. As in period, finito, farewell, so long, good-bye, that’s all folks.
The dream is dead.
sugarpie
June 24th, 2009 at 8:46 pm
242 bats:[ I had a similar thought about a Oaxacan bible for FOOB. Then I thought “no, too twisted.” Thanks for uttering the unutterable.
I dont follow FOOB except for what is written on the CC. I, sadly, did click on the link to LJ’s trip diary. Two things stuck out. That she slipped the woman selling peppers in the stall 10 pesos (to make up for her her seventy five cents worth of boneheadedness), and that she couldn’t understand the reason for the visually violent protest banners hanging in the street.
Didn’t she do ANY research before heading into a very troubled area? Maybe she could use her much appreciated Spanish to ask someone what the problem is. Im so glad she’s Canadian; what a good will ambassador!
Icepick Jones
June 25th, 2009 at 10:27 am
Could Mark Trail possibly look any more uncomfortable when she’s trying to kiss him in that last panel? He’s like “Whoa, what are you doing? When I said “”Country Girls”" I was obviously talking about “”Rainbow Trout”" get your lips off me you weirdo and go wash your face.”
uncle tom
June 25th, 2009 at 2:44 pm
Mark Trail, panel 1 – they said the same thing about Charlie Watts on many occasions
heynoni
June 25th, 2009 at 11:49 pm
http://www.kansascity.com/238/story/1266665.html
Please! Don’t anyone vote to axe Mark Trail! It’s the only strip that’s actually funny!
DATOK
June 27th, 2009 at 9:02 pm
Unseen Panel 4 of MT – Mark wipes off Cherry’s kiss in disgust and revulsion, like the Peter O’Toole character in ‘The Ruling Class’ .
HAMMY THE SQUIRREL!
March 20th, 2010 at 10:05 pm
I LOVE PUTTING AN ENDING COMMENT ON A LEGACY POST!
kolam143
May 18th, 2010 at 8:57 am
Hi this is kolam .I hope, hope, hope that this is just an introduction to Margo appearing in a bitchy Bollywood musical..http://www.kolamdesigns.com
kolamfs
June 4th, 2010 at 5:07 am
Hi this is kolamfestival.
NSK-Gorod
July 22nd, 2010 at 6:31 pm
??????? ????, ??????? ???????!