The first rule of marital fight club is: don’t talk about marital fight club
Sally Forth, 6/13/05
Jesus, look at Sally and Ted’s eyes! It looks like they spent the better part of the previous evening taking turns hitting each other in the face with a brick. If you want more proof of the Sally Forth-industrial complex’s horror of day jobs, you need look no further than the bleak, puffy morning faces of our two-income couple.
Speaking of day jobs, seeing Ted in a tie makes me wonder: does anyone know what exactly Mr. Forth does for a living? Other than sit around and try to think of comebacks to Sally’s witticisms, I mean.
Joseph J. Finn
June 14th, 2005 at 4:31 pm
Forget what Ted does; let’s talk about what the daughter is wearing: jeans under a dress. What the hell?
Lor
June 14th, 2005 at 4:35 pm
I guess Kitty is back to normal?
Monkeys Uncle
June 14th, 2005 at 4:36 pm
That is excatly how I look every morning Monday through Friday.
I think Ted’s job is dodging sly looks and designing androygenous clothing lines for the urban professional.
Lor
June 14th, 2005 at 4:36 pm
Hey, wasn’t someone asking awhile back why Mil***d didn’t seem to have a hockey team? I’ve found the answer – damn politics, every time!
NJ
June 14th, 2005 at 4:37 pm
Isn’t Ted a lawyer? I seem to dimly remember something along those lines. They must be doing pretty well if he is, with only one kid.
daChipster
June 14th, 2005 at 4:42 pm
I’m Ted Forth. And now you know what I do all day: I sit around and think of the things I should have replied to Sally’s witticism’s, and post them here.
yellojkt
June 14th, 2005 at 4:55 pm
So what kid wakes up early during summer vacation just to gloat to the folks that they’re gonna take a nap? Someone inherited someone’s smirking gene.
Anonymous
June 14th, 2005 at 4:56 pm
Forget the stupid outfit, why is she surrendering to her parents?
phismi
June 14th, 2005 at 5:00 pm
I’ve seen that uniform before. I think Ted works at Kinko’s.
Wren Wah
June 14th, 2005 at 5:01 pm
She’s surrendering as an homage to their lamented trip to Paris.
Other_Sally
June 14th, 2005 at 5:12 pm
Er, isn’t wearing dresses/skirts over jeans pretty much a standard wardrobe staple right now?
Mooncity
June 14th, 2005 at 5:37 pm
I think this is a t-shirt over jeans, actually, but that has nothing to do with the fact it still looks dorky. But the REAL reason Ted and Sally are seemingly lamenting summer vacation is that their stupid fashion-senseless kid will be home more or up at all hours over the summer vacation. That means Mom & Dad can’t do as much of what it was they were doing the night before that made them so obviously tired at breakfast. Methinks I detect a note of rage in Sally’s smirk this morning…
Islamorada Girl
June 14th, 2005 at 5:37 pm
I think Ted’s job is thinking beautiful thoughts.
What exactly does Sally do? I know she works in an office, but what’s her job description?
Ces? Carol? Anybody?
gnome de blog
June 14th, 2005 at 5:50 pm
Something very bureaucratic, but not government. Ralph could never have gotten fired from a government job.
The insurance industry, maybe?
J.Po
June 14th, 2005 at 5:52 pm
Mrs. J.Po looked at this strip yesterday and wondered what the hell Hilary was wearing…seems to be one of those one-piece, lame-o polyester dresses that 5-year-olds wear. I know Ted is hoping Hil never gets older than 10, but is she regressing?
I explained to her, Ces, that you are the creative genius, and that the artist is stuck with the hand that Greg Howard dealt.
Matt Estes
June 14th, 2005 at 6:14 pm
Look at where Sally and Ted are sitting in the first panel. Now, look at the second panel. Obviously, lil’ Forth (anybody know what her name is?) must have went ghost and slid, intangible, thru the huge voyeur-ific glass windows, to appear at the breakfast table and stick her hands into her parent’s face. Either that, or she’s actually the chair from panel one and then shape-shifted into their daughter in panel two.
Jeanne
June 14th, 2005 at 6:32 pm
The little darlin’s name is Hilary. She probably is gloating that her parents don’t get to leave her and Kitty behind and go and enjoy themselves in Paris. If I were Ted, I would have happily taken my half of the vacation money and gone on a good drunk just to get away from Smirkin’ Sal and her offspring from hell.
Jeanne
June 14th, 2005 at 6:32 pm
Come to think of it, maybe he did and that’s why he looks like that.
Islamorada Girl
June 14th, 2005 at 7:32 pm
We could settle the dress question by asking Cardinal J.Po to take the
question to Cardinalette
C.Po. Ms. C.Po is 12.She’ll be able to explain teen fashion to all us geezers.
J.Po
June 14th, 2005 at 7:42 pm
I’ve never seen Cardinalette C. in jeans and a dress, but I’ll double-check with her.
Her comment at the breakfast table this morning, while reviewing the comics page, was limited to one on Pearls Before Swine: “These zebras are so LAME!”
Anne Nonymous
June 14th, 2005 at 7:56 pm
A child after my own heart, J.Po. I am sick, sick, sick, of the zebra-crocodile PBS stories. I wish the crocs would just eat the damned zebra already so this interminably recurring storyline could end. Then the crocs could die of indigestion. Death to the zebra. Death to the crocs.
Jeanne
June 14th, 2005 at 8:09 pm
Maybe she’s an alien. With the hands in the upraised position, and the ‘Good Morning, People’ balloon, you could make a case for her being an extra in ‘War of the Worlds’.
‘Greetings Earth Parents, I come to ruin your morning’
RBF
June 14th, 2005 at 8:15 pm
Perhaps Ted works with Dagwood Bumstead? Anyone know what he does (other than ask for a raise every week or so)?
and li’l Hillary Forth is probably April’s best gal-pal on AOL IM.
RBF
June 14th, 2005 at 8:21 pm
not that familiar with this strip, but do ya think li’l Hil is kinda roadside with the strange outfit, and needing a nap in the morning? Just thinkin’
Jeanne
June 14th, 2005 at 8:44 pm
She probably went hands-on with some foob, and that’s why she needs a nap. She is sooo totally gig
Nom du Jour
June 14th, 2005 at 8:52 pm
Ted actually works down at the drug company’s research lab (I think you may see a lab coat hanging in the foyer if I am not mistaken).
His job is euthanizing the lab animals being used in the Evilco’s experiments.
Wait a minute, has any one seen Kitty lately.
Here Kitty, Kitty, Kitty. Oh my god Ted, how many times have I asked you not to bring work home?
Occam's Razor
June 14th, 2005 at 8:53 pm
RBF: In the movies made many years ago (my, my, doesn’t that just date some of us!), the company that Dagwood Bumstead worked for (Dithers) was a construction company. Since old Dag often seems to be losing more contract bids than he wins, perhaps he’s still a paper-pusher for a construction company?
RBF
June 14th, 2005 at 10:01 pm
Could be, thank ya
Funny thing, I work for a construction company too! Had my 22nd anniversary yesterday (but no one realized it except me). Yeah, I started there when I was 10, LOL
Bill Peschel
June 14th, 2005 at 10:18 pm
This was one of those strips where the dialog could be transposed with Foxtrot without changing a word. Paige reacts the exact same way to summer vacation.
Phinneaus J. Whoopigoldberg
June 14th, 2005 at 10:37 pm
Did you ever want to nap when you were 10-11? Seems a bit too aged for for this to work.
And the line under eye can connote a bunch of things: sleepiness, drunkeness, fear of unicorns, slow buildup of resentment toward spouse, swallowed agression, etc.
Hit-the-road-Jack
June 14th, 2005 at 10:54 pm
No way did I want to nap during summer vacation! Not enough hours in the day.
Kids today?
Love your name Phinny
Admiral Halsey
June 15th, 2005 at 12:11 am
Check out Hilary’s jaw in the third panel. She looks like she could bite through a lead pipe.
Dub Not Dubya
June 15th, 2005 at 1:33 am
Yes, it was Hillary, in the dining room, with the lead pipe! Clearly, Sally is Mrs. Peacock with that shirt. Ted could be Mr. Green, with the coloring of his shirt just a little off. Hillary with her bright yellow hair clearly is Col. Mustard (since women are allowed in the military now.)
anon
June 15th, 2005 at 6:00 am
Why is the kid going to take a nap right after she gets up in the morning? And where is “out back”? Around here, naps are taken on the sofa with the TV tuned to the program guide as an ambient-noise sleeping aid. And after the nap, what are the kid’s plans for the day, while the parents are at work? Go roadside? Raid the liquor cabinet?
Dan
June 15th, 2005 at 7:00 am
She probably wants to nap on the hammock out back and flirt with Mr. Thurston, too.
TwoClubs
June 15th, 2005 at 7:04 am
Sally should really send Hillary over to Mary Worth’s place to keep company with Mary’s new house-guest (who looks to have suddenly aged to about 80 today).
Ces
June 15th, 2005 at 7:44 am
A few answers:
Does anyone know what exactly Mr. Forth does for a living?
Most comic strip characters’ professions are left purposefully vague so their work issues can be seen as universal and address as large of a readership as possible. That said, Sally toils in “Human Resources” (for which industry is never defined) while Ted is presently the understudy for “Mr. Mistoffelees” in the St. Paul production of “Cats” (a role he landed after his critically-lauded performance in “Tru” at the Ruby Tuesday’s Dinner Theater).
Why are the Forths so bleary-eyed?
The reason was explained in a now-excised first panel in which Ted and Sally sit at a table in a small, dark, smoky room at 4 in the morning, revolver in hand and surrounded by the Viet Cong, thus ending one of the worst real estate seminars the couple had ever attended.
Why is the kid going to take a nap right after she gets up in the morning? And where is “out back”?
Hilary is going outside for a nap to stress the great summer weather her parents will once again miss as they slave another ten hours over such projects as “The Underwood Account.” As to why a kid is so quick to nap immediately after getting up–not to mention during prime summer hours–please note that I’m laying the groundwork for a 14-week storyline in which Hilary battles narcolepsy, ultimately concluding with the Forths having to choose between critical medical treatment and a two-week tour of the Napa Valley wine region.
I guess Kitty is back to normal?
Kitty is fine and wearing a protective neck cone to prevent her from biting at her surgical scars. She’s also been missing for nine days.
Why is Hilary surrendering to her parents?
The Forths believe in discipline.
What the hell Hilary is wearing?
I…I don’t know.
What was your favorite line so far in this thread?
“I think Ted’s job is thinking beautiful thoughts.”
Reswob
June 15th, 2005 at 7:54 am
I don’t know about the rest of you, but reading Ces’s non-comic strip comments is MUCH funnier than his published strips.
If the “Sally Forth: Unrated and Uncensored” comes out, I’m buying!
Anne Nonymous
June 15th, 2005 at 8:07 am
Ces- isn’t Hilary about 10 years old? Isn’t that a bit young to be left by herself all day while the parents work? Where’s the nanny/babysitter, or does she go to day care? Child neglect- call Social Services!
Ces
June 15th, 2005 at 8:10 am
Real Answer: Hilary stays at a neighbor’s house when her parents are not home.
Anne Nonymous
June 15th, 2005 at 8:21 am
Thanks for the answer, Ces. As for what Hilary is wearing, I think she’s trying to be “trendy” with the huge t-shirt- she’s missing the baggy, low-riding jeans. And she hasn’t apparently noticed that the huge t-shirts are usually white, and on the guys, not the gals. The females seem to wear very tight jeans and tops nowadays. Or maybe that’s just around here.
laughing on the inside
June 15th, 2005 at 8:28 am
Matt (comment #16) has a good point. I wonder what happened to the chairs as well- in panel 1 there were four chairs. Some of these were apparently spirited away in panel 2.
As the parent of a five year old girl, I can vouch for the fact that jeans and dresses are the hottest summer fashion in the literal sense- the best way to kill a kid through heat exhaustion. My kid is on summer break and would never dream of wearing jeans this time of year (it’ll be in the upper 80’s today where we live). The beach scenes/ sitting by the pool storylines have made it clear they live somewhere warm, making the clothing choice even more non-sensical than before. I would chalk it up to puritan values but we’ve seen the kid in her swimsuit.
I should add that a five year old girl’s fashion sense and style is not driven by what movie stars wear but by what cartoon princesses wear.
Anne Nonymous
June 15th, 2005 at 8:51 am
Yes, laughing, I see lots of girls wearing dresses over jeans, but mainly white girls. Both black and white girls are also into the tight tops and jeans. BTW, judging how the girls look during the school year, I’m guessing schools no longer have dress codes.
daChipster
June 15th, 2005 at 9:22 am
Ces, you are absolutely the coolest toonist on the planet.
If Darb Conley would come here, then you’d lose that title, but let’s focus on the positive!
You may be another mass media sellout with a family-oriented offering featuring a clueless dad, a smug mom and a precocious, adorable kid, but, Hey! you’re our mass media sellout with a family-oriented offering featuring a clueless dad, a smug mom and a precocious, adorable kid and…
we love you, man.
Props for the Deerhunter shout-out – I think that was a fly-over for many of the posters here, but those of us of a certain age got it.
And, also, thanks for being able to take a step back and tip us the wink. Your post reminds me of the scene where the Duke Bros. are explaining commodities future trading to Eddie Murphy in Trading Places and he looks out of the frame at the audience.
Pat
June 15th, 2005 at 9:23 am
Oh, it’s so obvious what Hilary is doing in the second panel. Her dialogue there got changed, though, from “I am the great Cornholio! I need TP for my bunghole!”
It’s a shame, because that would have made the “nap” comment much funnier.
Ces
June 15th, 2005 at 9:38 am
For daChipster:
“We are commodities brokers, William. Now, what are commodities? Commodities are agricultural products, like coffee that you had for breakfast, wheat, which is used to make bread, pork bellies, which is used to make bacon, which you might find in a bacon and lettuce and tomato sandwich.”
One of my favorite scenes in film–right after every single scene in “Breaking Away.”
And yes, Darb Conley would indeed trump me in a heartbeat.
Deadlytoque
June 15th, 2005 at 9:44 am
The T-shirt, skirt, jeans thing is pretty common in the parts I frequent, but most of the girls I see doing it wouldn’t be caught dead in any t-shirt they didn’t buy at a vintage shop (read: thrift store).
daChipster
June 15th, 2005 at 9:46 am
refund? REFUND?! REFUND!?!?
The dad MADE that movie.
daChipster
June 15th, 2005 at 9:49 am
I dunno, I think the shirt is actually a “Roadside” T with pink glitter pen added around the letters. Tough to tell in this level of resolution.
Valiant
June 15th, 2005 at 10:17 am
Ces,
As long as we have your attention, what happened to DrinkatWork–the blog??
And nice article this week.
Archivalist
June 15th, 2005 at 10:20 am
Panel 3 just creeps me out …
1. There seems to be a large yellow-shelled snail on Hilary’s head, over her ear.
2. Mom and dad have morphed from sleep-deprived corporate drones into extras from those old Charlie Chan films (”What? Hire Chinese people to play Chinese people? Get outta here!”)
3. There is no number 3.
J.Po
June 15th, 2005 at 10:24 am
Great comments, Ces! Visit often! And, like daChip, I caught the “Deer Hunter” reference (again dating myself)…
I think Hilary spends her days with widdle Sarah from RMMD. Regrettably, last time she was there, she brought back a mysterious box from the cupboard, from which Kitty ingested rare Native American artifacts which blocked her colon.
Cue last panel: Peter Lorre Jockstrap sifting through Kitty’s litter box.
Carol
June 15th, 2005 at 10:26 am
Ooo…I can answer that. The URL http://www.drinkatwork.com/blog.html is no more, if you go there it should forward you to http://www.drinkatwork.com. The separate (but equal) blog was always intended to be a beta test for transitioning our main page to blog format. I made the transition this weekend, once I worked out all the technical stuff . So net for you, the reader, is you don’t have to dig to get to Ces’ sweet, sweet blogulations…you just go straight to drinkatwork.com.
However, the RSS and Atom feeds should have stayed the same. If you’re having problems with that let me know.
Ces
June 15th, 2005 at 10:27 am
Valiant:
Drink at Work the Blog and Drink at Work the home page are now one and the same. Clicking on my name should lead you directly to the blog and new site interface.
And thanks for reading the article!
Valiant
June 15th, 2005 at 10:39 am
Wow,I’m honored–one shout out and I get both ces and Carol. Now if only Toby the intern had chimed in.
Toby the Intern
June 15th, 2005 at 10:45 am
Valet:
To answer your question, the time is currently 11:42 EST. Or 8:55. I’m not sure which is right.
Perhaps I should check the calendar.
WoodrowFan
June 15th, 2005 at 11:52 am
Actually I keep hoping Stephan Pastis and Chris Browne would become regs as well.
Nom du Jour
June 15th, 2005 at 12:02 pm
I know I-tey food when I hear it! It’s all them “eenie” foods… zucchini… and linguini… and fettuccine. I want some American food, dammit! I want French fries!
dimestore lipstick
June 15th, 2005 at 12:21 pm
Today’s Beetle Bailey shows Miss Buxley wears a black bikini. I was right! That was her in the June 2nd “Hi and Lois”, getting drenched by Ditto!
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/style/comics/king.htm?name=Hi_and_Lois&date=20050602
Beasley
June 15th, 2005 at 12:32 pm
But…but what about The New Zoo Review ?!
Beasley
June 15th, 2005 at 12:44 pm
It just occured to me, CES…you are always taking the heat for Sally Forth and her demonic family and explaining things away but (if I understand it correctly) you’re not the illustrator for it (only the writer…or are they one in eh same?). Is that true? If so, where is the cruel person who subjects you being the mouthpiece for SF?! And who is the illustrator? Why is this so confusing all of a sudden?!
Ces
June 15th, 2005 at 12:52 pm
The illustrator is Craig MacIntosh, who has been with the strip far longer than I have. I only do the writing (it should also be noted that the strip was created by Greg Howard, who quit in the late 90’s). That said, when there is a problem with the story, it is my doing and I’m the one who should answer for it.
johncomic
June 15th, 2005 at 1:03 pm
Ted is a model. And if he ain’t, he oughta be.
Ces, Greg Howard quit?? Howcum? [I guess I'd always figured he died...]
Comix Caliph
June 15th, 2005 at 1:16 pm
re: #41 … Tight clothing
And what is wrong with that? :-)
NJ
June 15th, 2005 at 1:29 pm
So now I wanna know — is Ted a lawyer? Or is his profession never revealed?
Beasley
June 15th, 2005 at 1:53 pm
So now I wanna know – is Ted a lawyer?
I doubt it. I think back in his rowdy “Sonic Youth” t-shirt wearing days he was going to business school. So, armed with that huge amount of knowledge, I’d have to say he’s an actuary .
Ces
June 15th, 2005 at 2:00 pm
Two short answers:
*Greg no longer wanted to work on the strip and so sold his half of “Sally Forth” back to the syndicate.
*I haven’t come across any mention that Ted was a lawyer. I know that Calvin’s dad was a lawyer. I also know that comparing “Calvin” to “Sally Forth” can only make me look bad.
Alan TheFamily
June 15th, 2005 at 2:24 pm
More treasured illusions shattered. I always assumed Ted was a gay prostitute and Sally a professional dominatrix. Now that I’ve learned Sally Forth isn’t the sex-positive strip I thought it was, that leaves only Trout in Agnes as a role model.
Islamorada Girl
June 15th, 2005 at 4:01 pm
Carol and Ces–It’s like being nibbled to death by ducks, innit?
NJ
June 15th, 2005 at 4:44 pm
So, Ted has an unspecified job, much like Sally works for Human Resources in an unspecified industry? It seems that a long while back there was some clue about Ted’s job, but of course I can’t remember what it was.
Islamorada Girl
June 15th, 2005 at 4:47 pm
BTW–If Teenage Girl President were on UPN, I would watch it.
And I can remember when The Deer Hunter came out.
Love throwing a monkey into the demographics.
Woodrowfan
June 15th, 2005 at 7:08 pm
If Teenage Girl President were on UPN she’d be an African-American girl. And they’d cancel the series just as it was getting really good.
Lisa
June 16th, 2005 at 12:55 am
I vaguely remember some strangely illustrated panels in Sally Forth just before Craig MacIntosh took over the drawing. I just sort of assumed Greg Howard was doing the best he could to break the ol’ contract….but maybe I dreamed those panels?
HowStupid!
June 16th, 2005 at 7:42 am
Ah . . . Hil, how about spending the summer taking care of Kitty? Remember her?
Beasley
June 16th, 2005 at 8:29 am
Ah . . . Hil, how about spending the summer taking care of Kitty? Remember her?
But you forget…SF does not continue story-arc’s very long because it’s assumed the average SF reader is brain dead.
WoodrowFan
June 16th, 2005 at 10:43 am
Lisa, some years back “Sally Forth” changed illustrators and the strip’s creator stopped drawing it. The new illustrations got a lot of complaints, however, because the figures were a) different and b) wierdly think and lanky, like they were alien Forths. The illustrator shifted his style back to better match the original.
Ces
June 16th, 2005 at 10:57 am
Sally: So what are you going to do this summer, Hil?
Hil: Take care of Kitty.
Sally: “Take care of Kitty.”
Hil: Yeah.
Sally: That’s it. That’s all you’re going to do. For two whole months. Take care of Kitty.
Hil: Well, I suppose I could also take care of Grandma locked in the attic.
Sally: THERE IS NO GRANDMA IN THE ATTIC! SHE DOESN’T EXIST! YOU MADE HER UP! GRANDMA LIVES IN BOCA BUT HAS NO ACCESS TO PHONE OR MAIL! HOW MANY TIMES MUST I TELL YOU THAT?!?
Hil: But…but all those noises upstairs! Her voice calling for help through the vents! That time I saw her try to escape through the small, circular window near the roof!
Sally: GO TO YOUR ROOM!
Hil: But…
Sally: NOW!!!
Beasley
June 16th, 2005 at 11:34 am
GRANDMA LIVES IN BOCA
Been spying on me, CES?
Lor
June 16th, 2005 at 3:58 pm
Ooo Ces, I love it when you give us the inside scoop. So there is a dark side to Planet Forth – I knew it!
Katzy
June 16th, 2005 at 7:07 pm
At first I thought the girl was surrendering to her parents, but now I think she’s giving them the ‘hail hitler!’ gesture….
As far as witticism’s go, when were there ever any in this comic? I must have been too dense to catch them…
Beasley
June 16th, 2005 at 7:52 pm
So there is a dark side to Planet Forth – I knew it!
Well…rumour has it that Sally and “Ted” have been secretly ordering from The Blowfish Catalog for years now.
Anne
June 16th, 2005 at 9:28 pm
Until I read the comments I figured Ted modeled blue oxford shirts and khaki trousers for Federated department store (Macy’s, Marshall Field’s, etc.) catalogues, but perhaps he is a community theater thespian….or in cahoots with the Viet Cong. :-|
TB Tabby
September 24th, 2006 at 7:18 am
Geez…how did that obnoxious post go for nearly a year without getting deleted?
Lolsworth
December 18th, 2007 at 4:09 pm
Two years and counting.
Cmdr. Spunky N. Tadpole, Jungle Patrol (ret.)
January 26th, 2008 at 9:03 pm
So funny … I wonder how many more comments this post will get – years later – leaving “Me curmudgeon in love….. etc., etc, et fucking cetera’s” inane trollery up and intact?
Wanna start a pool?