The Comics Curmudgeon

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Summertime madness BEGINS

Crock, 7/6/09

When you have a narrative form like a syndicated comic strip that runs on and on for decades, there are some interesting results. For instance, there may be features of your strip’s universe that made some sort of sense, or were at least explained, at the time of their introduction, but which have either slowly mutated with time or had all knowledge of their significance lost, and whose existence today is taken as a given by all concerned despite their baffling nature. Take, for instance, today’s Crock. Obviously the presence of tiny hotboxes just outside the Legion’s fort, in which prisoners condemned for some forgotten crime sit hunched over day after day for years, slowly going mad from the hot sun and the isolation, is easily parsed. But why exactly are the sides of these portable torture chambers marked with giant keyholes? Wouldn’t the key required to operate such a lock be over three feet long? Wouldn’t the mechanism for such a lock intrude onto the prisoner’s already miniscule living space? Is it perhaps not a real lock at all, but just some sort of symbol of the State’s ability to imprison on a whim, and indefinitely? Perhaps this reminds the cook of his complicity in the workings of this monstrous dictatorship, which would explain his otherwise baffling anger at having to walk approximately five feet outside to dump some greyish glop into the prisoner’s bowl.

Gil Thorp, 7/6/09

Oh, Gil, if you’re going to openly acknowledge what I asserted last week — that summertime is for wackiness in Gil Thorp — then you’d better be prepared to follow through on your promise, or you’ll just break my heart all the more. Gil having lunch with vintage clothing aficionado and former teen hobo Ted Pearse is a good start; having some kind of gangland shooting happen right outside the Thorps’ front door (involving Marty Moon? please?) is even better.

Mary Worth, 7/6/09

You know, every once in a while even Mary Worth can surprise me. For instance, yesterday I could have only thought of two possible outcomes to Mary’s weeks-long attempt to browbeat Delilah back into her loveless marriage: acquiescence or suicide. Never did I imagine that she had the strength of will to shrug off the onslaught, put on her sexiest/most insane halter top-yellow fishnets combo, and go cruising the Charterstone grounds for all her ex-boyfriends, determined to rip their stripey shirts off and have her way with them right there on the concrete (which is already cracking only a few years after it was poured, thanks to Mary’s insistence that they go with the lowest bidder). Mary looks like she’s having a stroke in the second panel, and why wouldn’t she: she’s discovered someone immune to her meddling powers! I’m surprised she isn’t just melting into a puddle.

This entry was posted on Monday, July 6, 2009 at 02:13 pm and is filed under Crock, Gil Thorp, Mary Worth.

127 responses to “Summertime madness BEGINS”

Bitter Scribe
July 6th, 2009 at 2:21 pm [Reply]

I think the cook is Crock is a stand in for the artist, and the prisoner is us, the readers, into whose insatiable collective maw the artist must shovel the grayish glop that is Crock’s attempt to be funny, or relevant, or to justify its existence in any way.
Naked Bunny with a Whip
July 6th, 2009 at 2:23 pm [Reply]

GT: That’s either gunfire outside, or Gil’s wife has just suffered the most abrupt and powerful ruptured appendix ever.
Patrick
July 6th, 2009 at 2:32 pm [Reply]

The first panel of Mary Worth looks like a fever dream Tim Gunn has moments before a fatal stroke.
Government Cheese
July 6th, 2009 at 2:33 pm [Reply]

MW: Wow that guy is creepier than Aldo ever was.
Roto13
July 6th, 2009 at 2:34 pm [Reply]

Mr. Smooth there in Mary Worth looks eerily like Dwight Shrute from The Office. You can tell that Mary sees it too, but she can’t quite place him. In fact, she’s thinking about it so hard that it’s apparently causing her hands to disintegrate from the sheer force of her wringing while her face to melts or something. Gotta love those legacy strips.
buckyswife
July 6th, 2009 at 2:35 pm [Reply]

Wow, Josh–was that a Foucauldian reading of Crock? If so, my Discipline & Punishment hat’s off to you, sir!
Digger
July 6th, 2009 at 2:36 pm [Reply]

It’s amazing that Charley is able to speak while forcibly clamping his own mouth shut. Or is he just diabolically stroking his chin like he’s some kind of supervillain. “Mwa ha ha! You’re looking very fine, my dear! Mwa ha ha!” If this guy turns up as the next bad guy in Spider-man, I won’t be at all surprised.
Little Guy
July 6th, 2009 at 2:37 pm [Reply]

MT: Why is Delilah wearing yellow fishnet stockings and no pants?
Patrick, Interlibrary Loan Lending Division
July 6th, 2009 at 2:37 pm [Reply]

I don’t know, I thought he looked like Jimmy Dean of country music and breakfast sausage fame while Delilah looks like the love child of Lynda Carter and Jay Leno. Oddly, Mary looks like John McCain in drag. At least Charley actually has a different male face and an actual expression to go with it. For moment, I thought I was on the wrong strip.
AMC
July 6th, 2009 at 2:41 pm [Reply]

Mary Worth – Mary is suffering a serious case of Meddling Interuptus. Also known as Intrustion Confusion, or Blue Boss.
Imperturbe
July 6th, 2009 at 2:42 pm [Reply]

#8

Because she’s using the pants as a top; she doesn’t like skirts.

She really think’s it’s the best costume for the day.
Lorem Ipsum
July 6th, 2009 at 2:44 pm [Reply]

Dog of Death: Those are the shoes of his latest feeding frenzy, or he is having a garage sale to rid himself of all the unwanted shoes his victims in the basement don’t need anymore. Either way there are tons of shoeless dead people somewhere!
Bryan
July 6th, 2009 at 2:46 pm [Reply]

I think that keyhole is some kind of half-hearted stab at Algerian architecture. Like, it’s a window or something.
mojo
July 6th, 2009 at 2:47 pm [Reply]

MW:
Charley: What a sight you are! You’re looking very fine.
Delilah: Thanks! … So, how are you? Since, obviously, you are NOT looking very fine! What with the goofy *hair* and all. Makes you look like a dork!
Islamorada Girl
July 6th, 2009 at 2:51 pm [Reply]

Mary is so upset at this latest development, in which her powers of meddling do as little as Rainier Wolfcastle’s goggles, that her
Depends are failing her. How else to explain the expression of helpless rage?
Gap-Toothed Starey "HOOOO" Guy
July 6th, 2009 at 2:52 pm [Reply]

#7 Digger: I could totally get behind Creepy Charley as a Spider-Man villain. He would be known as The Chimney Sweep, and he would summon anthropomorphic penguins to do his bidding. He’d probably be the most terrifying adversary Spidey has faced in some time.
Steve S
July 6th, 2009 at 2:53 pm [Reply]

Memo to the Crock artist: if you’re going to draw someone who’s been doing something for 25 years, try not to make him look so much like a zitface teen.
cj
July 6th, 2009 at 2:57 pm [Reply]

Worth:

Just add a darker shade to her face and some grey to her hair, and POOF, Mary is a black mama cracking her knuckles before serving up a large helping of whoopass.
sloopygoop
July 6th, 2009 at 3:01 pm [Reply]

Actually, it kind of looks like the Crock cook is feeding a toilet, which has eagerly grown a hand.
ratnerstar
July 6th, 2009 at 3:10 pm [Reply]

Is Charley really wearing a stripey shirt? Because it seems to extend well past the waist, where shirts usually end. I think he might be wearing a stripey muumuu, or, dare I say it, a stripey kaftan. Terrorist!
Sans Sense
July 6th, 2009 at 3:10 pm [Reply]

Nok, Nok
Who’s there?
Blam!
Blam who?
Don’t blam me when the next storyline sucks.
LittleBigBlue
July 6th, 2009 at 3:11 pm [Reply]

I’m no Fashion Police, but I am a girl and thus know that Delilah’s top is not actually a halter top. A halter must have a strap or tie around the back of the neck. Since you once made a similar error about an outfit of Abby’s, I can only assume you are confusing a crop top with a halter. This does not change the fact that Del’s outfit is the worst ensemble ever worn in Mary Worth or elsewhere ever of all time.
Violet
July 6th, 2009 at 3:11 pm [Reply]

Surely I’m not the only one who’s disappointed—nay, heartbroken—that the words “Oh, blow it out your ear, Mary!” have at long last appeared on the comics page, but it was in Judge Parker. I guess there really is no god.
Gap-Toothed Starey "HOOOO" Guy
July 6th, 2009 at 3:15 pm [Reply]

#22 LittleBigBlue: I’m convinced that it is, in fact, a bolero jacket. She simply forgot to put on anything under it.
Sans Sense
July 6th, 2009 at 3:22 pm [Reply]

MW:

Delilah took the step of stepping out in her Arabian Nights Erotic Fantasy Package II but then ruined the effect with her hair band.

And by hair band I don’t mean Poison, Motley Crue or Ratt but Dokken is possible.
Toby
July 6th, 2009 at 3:25 pm [Reply]

This Crock is clearly referring to Gitmo and also showing how Ward Churchill was right in accusing us all of being complicit in crimes agains others. Oops, did I say Crock because I really meant the very trenchant Mary Worth.
One-eyed Wolfdog
July 6th, 2009 at 3:29 pm [Reply]

“You’re looking very fine! Say, remember that thing I used to do where I unhinge my jaw with one hand? Maybe your friend here wants to see it, what do you think?”
klaus tommy baggs
July 6th, 2009 at 3:29 pm [Reply]

MW: What with that center parted hair and wild shirt, I thought Charley was an over-the-hill Ocean Pacific model, slumming around Charterstone, looking for his long-lost Dolfin-clad love.
Jackuul
July 6th, 2009 at 3:31 pm [Reply]

Charley: You’re looking very fine!
*Mary’s blood pressure begin to reach extremely dangerous levels*
Delilah: Thanks!… (sic) so how are you?
Mary: Ah fuck… oh my fucking… can’t breathe… fuuuuuuck!
*Mary has collapsed on the sidewalk’s burning cement, searing her skin as she begins to drool from her mouth and her pupils widen*

Could this be the end of Mary Worth? Tune in tomorrow to find out!

I’m guessing she will summon her inner hate, self repair, and go ULTRA MEDDLER MODE! Or end up in a wheelchair without use of half her face and body, doomed to meddle with the medical staff by shitting her pants AFTER they change her adult diapers. Then Marvin would have an appropriate grandmother.
One-eyed Wolfdog
July 6th, 2009 at 3:34 pm [Reply]

Del: “Charley? Ohmigod, Charley, there’s a muskrat on your head, and it could be rabid! Stand straight and don’t move… I think vertical stripes might anger it!”
MaryAnnTheRest
July 6th, 2009 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

In military news, Beetle and Sarge appear to be doing service in Boneland.
Charterstoned
July 6th, 2009 at 3:36 pm [Reply]

MW – So, is Charley a referee or something? Mary looks like she was just about to plead for something in panel 2–perhaps the chance to borrow Delilah’s delicious outfit for an evening with Dr. Jeff at the Bum Boat (and in that outfit, Mary’s bum would surely look like a barge).
UncleJeff
July 6th, 2009 at 3:41 pm [Reply]

#2 Naked Bunny: Dick Tracy forgot his cellphone at the Thorps Friday night. That “blam!” is just his ringtone.
Erik Agard
July 6th, 2009 at 3:41 pm [Reply]

#31 – As disappointed as we all are by the failure of Rex Morgan’s boat scenario to turn into a gay porno, maybe we can invest our hope in Beetle Bailey instead.

Oh, and a belated comment on Friday’s Baldo – pleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease…
One-eyed Wolfdog
July 6th, 2009 at 3:42 pm [Reply]

You just go on and try and figure out whether the bottom of those cabinet doors is flush with the countertop, or a couple inches above Gil’s head. It keeps flipping back and forth for me. That whole first panel is like a persistent optical illusion, actually. A big Necker cube full of stupid.
Jim, Just Jim
July 6th, 2009 at 3:43 pm [Reply]

Can someone enlighten me? Is this the first time Slylock Fox has ever actually said something out loud? All I can ever remember him doing is pointing out perps to the copper dogs.
Little A and his Verkokte Magic Ball
July 6th, 2009 at 3:43 pm [Reply]

MW: (a re-post) I knew that beautiful shirt would not go uncommented upon.

I like Charlie’s shirt. My mother bought me two just like it, in the same color and pattern, in Alexander’s Department Store on The Grand Concourse, Bronx, New York, in 1962. It wore well, but didn’t last 47 years.

On the other hand, as somebody has pointed out, it is kinda long… is he prancing around in his pajamas? That might explain his messy hair do — he just hopped out of bed.
Chip Whittle
July 6th, 2009 at 3:46 pm [Reply]

Gil Thorp’s pantry has shot itself? That’s what he gets for hanging Funky Winkerbean strips on the fridge.
Tracer Bullet
July 6th, 2009 at 3:48 pm [Reply]

JP must take place in Texas, probably a wealthy suburb of Dallas. It’s the only place in all creation where this many people give two shits about both country music and cheerleading. Well, maybe Dis, the capitol city of Hell.
One-eyed Wolfdog
July 6th, 2009 at 3:51 pm [Reply]

“Gee… has it been twenty-five years already? Time flies… but my word! that’s a nice cock on your head. I mean, hat, what did I say?”
Mike D
July 6th, 2009 at 3:53 pm [Reply]

Check out Charley’s hand in the first panel!

“You’re looking very fine Del” ….honk honk…..
Lolsworth
July 6th, 2009 at 3:55 pm [Reply]

Look, I can understand Blondie or Gasoline Alley or even Garfield, the media juggernaut, being all “WOO WE HAVE EXISTED FOR A PERIOD OF TIME DIVISIBLE BY TEN AND\OR FIVE”, but things like Crock, or that one strip with a duck in it which has also being doing this lately? No-one cares that you exist now, guys.
Pozzo
July 6th, 2009 at 3:57 pm [Reply]

I see Gil keeps paddles affixed to his cabinets, in case the urge to go a-canoein’ should suddenly strike him. Could we be lucky enough to have a “Deliverance” take-off as this summer’s storyline? Squeal like a pig, Ted!
Mollie
July 6th, 2009 at 4:00 pm [Reply]

I have to say I find it strange that Gil Thorp, the strip that never introduced a character too peripheral to have a first and last name, uniform number, on-field position, and batting average, opts to leave out all the nonessential consonants in the word “knock.” I suppose they just ran out of room, what with Gil’s monstrous paws and all.
Amateur
July 6th, 2009 at 4:03 pm [Reply]

#2: “Was he shot?” “No, he just had a loud heart attack.”

(With apologies to The Carol Burnett Show)

MW: I’m actually on Mary’s side on this one. Someone please shoot me now. But seriously, we’ve got a woman who can’t even bring herself to open her trap about an everyday, mundane concern when her husband begs to know what’s bothering her, but instead has to fly off and take up with MARY WORTH. Never mind Mary’s side — I’d almost be willing to side with Lucifer himself against this chick, if it came to that.
Lord-z
July 6th, 2009 at 4:05 pm [Reply]

No no. Mary will not be stopped by this setback. Now, she either changes direction, and push her friend back to her creepy ex, or she pushes her even harder back to her loveless marriage. Actually, I am kind of excited to see which.
Rock Ripsnort
July 6th, 2009 at 4:07 pm [Reply]

But-but the Crock cook couldn’t represent the “writer”/”artist”– those guys DIED! Didn’t they? Is this strip From Beyond, or did the syndicate hire a g-g-g-GHOST?
One-eyed Wolfdog
July 6th, 2009 at 4:07 pm [Reply]

#44 – By leaving out nonessential consonants and ends of words, Gil was able to pack the text of today’s episode into just two tweets. He’s on the Twitter now, as you may have heard.
commodorejohn
July 6th, 2009 at 4:07 pm [Reply]

#35 One-Eyed Wolfdog – It’s been too long since I stopped to appreciate the insanity of the art in Gil Thorp. The cabinet is a nice one; similarily, where exactly are those lights located, relative to anything else? And I absolutely love the fact that every single horizontal surface is gleaming and reflective, with highlights that run exactly parallel to the panel borders; it’s like an M.C. Escher take on the hilarious atrocities perpetrated with chrome in the 1950s.

#36 Jim, Just Jim – He’s spoken before, but very rarely. A very taciturn sort, that fox.
Old School Allie Cat
July 6th, 2009 at 4:10 pm [Reply]

MW Delilah looks derfy.
Little Guy
July 6th, 2009 at 4:13 pm [Reply]

yStripeyButt: I’m impressed. I know she left General Hospital and did a stint on The L Word, but I didn’t know she was also a princess.
Dragon of Life
July 6th, 2009 at 4:14 pm [Reply]

“It’s been far too long, Del!” he said, overtly groping her bared midriff before going in for the boob-honkage. Anyone who’s vowed their own suicide when Mary Worth becomes the most chauvinistically-sexy strip in the papers, I expect you hanging from the rafters by midnight.
Fitt Thompson
July 6th, 2009 at 4:16 pm [Reply]

Mary is so depressed at not being the center of attention for all of ten seconds that she may choose to take the “Aldo” way out. She has no chance against someone who so boldly chin grabs in public
Spiderman Defense League
July 6th, 2009 at 4:16 pm [Reply]

Luann: Ha, I get it! Delta doesn’t need a tan–because she’s black. I wonder if next week sometime Luann and Bernice will go shoe shopping, pitying poor Zane for having shoes that last forever…
One-eyed Wolfdog
July 6th, 2009 at 4:21 pm [Reply]

“Nok nok BLAM!” goes well to We Will Rock You.
Gap-Toothed Starey "HOOO" Guy
July 6th, 2009 at 4:24 pm [Reply]

One of the things I often wonder about is how cartoonists imagine their characters looking in real life. The soap strips don’t count, generally, as the characters are already realistically drawn (ostensibly). I decided to sketch a few characters in a pseudo-realistic style.

Rusty Trail: Yeah, he’s already supposed to be “realistic,” but I couldn’t resist.

Luann: Derfy, indeed. I didn’t notice until I took a good look at her what big ears the girl has.

Edda Burber: Perhaps not one of my better sketches, but she really is a bit of a mutant.
SF_Reader
July 6th, 2009 at 4:25 pm [Reply]

Little A and his Verkokte Magic Ball – Incidentally, Margo from 3-G is also a Bronx girl. Although Alexander’s no longer exists, she oftens wears clothing that looks like it came from there.
TheDiva
July 6th, 2009 at 4:25 pm [Reply]

Alas, I fear Mary’s expression in panel 2 is not one of shock, but eagerness. She clasps her hands in gleeful anticipation, looking forward to repeatedly reminding Delilah what a horrible, horrible person she is for even speaking to another man and sermonizing on matrimonial fidelity. Eventually Delilah, worn down by constant stream of shame and glurge, will dutifully return home to fulfill her role as a dutiful Stepford wife.

Either that, or she’s trying very hard to figure out the “this is the church, this is the steeple” game.
Gap-Toothed Starey "HOOO" Guy
July 6th, 2009 at 4:26 pm [Reply]

NOOOO, Rusty didn’t work! Ok, once more:

Rusty.
TheDiva
July 6th, 2009 at 4:27 pm [Reply]

Er, make that “docile Stepford wife.” I shouldn’t try to work and comment at the same time.
Poteet
July 6th, 2009 at 4:31 pm [Reply]

# 45 Amateur — I agree with you about Delilah. And given that she is supposed to be one of the most brilliant young women Charterstone has ever produced, we seem to have confirmation that the average Charterstone IQ is about 83.
Sans Sense
July 6th, 2009 at 4:32 pm [Reply]

Legacy Malaise (or you forgot to put enough stamps on these when you mailed it in)

Today’s top 3 punchlines:
1) Wizard of Id: “I should have seen that coming.” By law, this should be appended to every third panel of Wizid.
2) Crock: “Gee…has it been twenty-five years already?” No, it’s been 34 years of “the genius of this off-the-wall strip that manages to turn the established conventions of the Foreign Legion melodrama upside down.” That’s a real Crock, die and make room for talent.
3) Spiderman: “So, what can I lose?” I uttered the same words before reading this strip, putting my 401k in Enron stock and buying meat from a guy who came to my door.
Canaduck
July 6th, 2009 at 4:37 pm [Reply]

NOK NOK
bats :[
July 6th, 2009 at 4:43 pm [Reply]

29. Jackuul: ANYTHING to keep Mary off-balance:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/3694834565/sizes/o/
Sarah
July 6th, 2009 at 4:45 pm [Reply]

I think this surprise meeting with an ex is something Delilah staged to get Mary to back off: “See?? My marriage was so horrible I think ‘You’re looking VERY fine’ is an acceptable pick-up line! Now can you understand the horror I’ve lived with??”
Matty B
July 6th, 2009 at 4:46 pm [Reply]

I think Mary Worth is trying to draw comparisons to Last Year in Marienbad; if not with the staging of its surroundings, then with the hideously artificial way the artist has them posing.
Jackuul
July 6th, 2009 at 4:56 pm [Reply]

@64: Bats. Hohoho!

I have an image of my mind in Panel 2, instead of dicknose saying all those fancy shmooze words, he just says “Rape?”
Hogan
July 6th, 2009 at 5:09 pm [Reply]

Looks to me like Mary is getting ready to launch a double ax handle to the back of Charley the Deke’s neck. Sometimes you have to back that meddling up with a spot of violence.
Mel AKA "Mel"
July 6th, 2009 at 5:21 pm [Reply]

Little Guy @ #8 and Imperturbe @ #11

The best kind of clothes for a protest pose
Is this ensemble of pantyhose
Pulled over the shorts, worn under the skirt
That doubles as a cape.

To reveal you in capri pants
You fashion out of ski pants,
In a jersey knit designed to fit
The contour of your shape.
Then cinch it with a cord from the drape.

And that’s the revolutionary costume for today.
To show the polo riders, in khakis and topsiders,
Just what a revolutionary costume has to say.
It can’t be ordered from L.L. Bean.
There’s more to living than kelly green.
And that’s the revolution, I mean.

Da da da da dum…

You fight City Hall with a Persian shawl
That used to hang on the bedroom wall,
Pinned under the chin, adorned with a pin
And pulled into a twist.

Reinvent the objet trouve,
Make a poncho from a duvet,
Then you can be with cousin Lee
On Mr. Blackwell’s list.
The full-length velvet glove hides the fist.

And that’s the revolutionary costume for today.
Subvert the CrisCraft boaters, those Nixon-Agnew voters.
Armies of conformity are headed right your way.
To make a statement you need not be
In Boston Harbor upending tea.
And that’s a Revolution, to me.

Da da da da dum…

The best kind of shoes to express bold views
Are strapless mules in assertive hues
Like fuscia or peach, except on the beach,
In which case you wear flats.

When I stood before the nation
At Jack’s inauguration,
In a high-heeled pump, I got the jump
on Jackie’s pillbox hat.
Just watch it where you step with the cat!

And that’s the revolutionary costume pour du jour.
You mix ‘n’ match and, Presto!
A fashion manifesto.
That’s why a revolutionary costume’s de rigeur.
The rhododendrons are hiding spies,
The pussy willows have beady eyes.
Binoculars through the privet hedge,
They peek at you through the window ledge with guile!

We’re in a Revolution!
So win the Revolution with style!

Da da da da dum.

The Revolutionary Costume for Today from Grey Gardens the musical, lyrics by Michael Korie

Edited with apologies.
BenG
July 6th, 2009 at 5:32 pm [Reply]

Is Charley wearing some kind of stripey jump suit?
zooby
July 6th, 2009 at 5:37 pm [Reply]

I like to imagine that Mary’s hands are clasped together in hope in the last panel. Because sure, she’d love to get Delilah back together with Lawrence, but wouldn’t it be easier to just pair her up with whatever muu-muu wearing male wanders across her path?

“So how are you?”

“Great, Delilah! Great! As you can see, I no longer wear pants and I’ve apparently moved into Charterstone, the place where single souls over the age of 30 go to die. Or be paired up arbitrarily by Mary Worth. Same difference really! But you… you’ve still got some spirit, I see! Wearing what you want no matter how insane. But don’t worry. Mary will break you of that soon. Your kicky headband will be traded in for a completely unrealistically drawn pony-tail and your vibrant yellow fishnet pants and midriff-baring top will transform into a standard issue salmon-coloured blouse! Which reminds me, I need to go! I have a batch of Salmon Squares in the dehydrator! Mmm-mmm! I think you’ll find that nothing says summer around Charterstone like a thin wafer of dry salmon that’s been sitting around in the sun all afternoon! See you at the next pool party!”
John C Fremont
July 6th, 2009 at 5:40 pm [Reply]

#59 G-TS”H”G – It’s kind of hard to see from this clip, but your Rusty reminds me of someone else.
Baron Bizarre
July 6th, 2009 at 5:44 pm [Reply]

Judge Parker:

Say, is that Paul Shaffer telling Mary to “blow it out her ear”? What’s he doing judging cheerleader try-outs?
Imperturbe
July 6th, 2009 at 5:45 pm [Reply]

# 69

Thank you!
sugarpie
July 6th, 2009 at 5:57 pm [Reply]

Y Muffaroo Do you recall the halftime in the 70’s, when the A&M Corps of Cadets held the MOB at bay for a few hours? It was after the MOB parodied the A&M band’s vaunted precision march. I remember the news coverage at the time-hilarious. Considering how much of a sense of humor Aggies dont have, it was like shooting fish in a barrel. The MOB just underestimated how seriously A&M takes it all. Still.
http://mob.rice.edu/history/scripts/files/1973/19731120-houstonpost.shtml

(nb Uncle Lumpy, I know, I should have figured out how to insert this as a tag, or whatever the fork it’s called, by now. You’ve only explained it ten or twelve times in the past three months. Yeesh. What I really need is some sort of Gunther type with a chart and tazer. I always learn better with a little pressure.)
Victor Von
July 6th, 2009 at 6:03 pm [Reply]

I love Delilah’s costume! It’s like she’s dressed herself as (Spider Man villain) The Shocker’s girlfriend! Or perhaps, if the The Shocker went in for pimpery, part of his stable. Or harum. Truly, this is a summer of possibilities!
Mibbitmaker
July 6th, 2009 at 6:11 pm [Reply]

Marmaduke IS Imelda Marcos! …no, wait, that should be: Marmaduke ATE Imelda Marcos!
commodorejohn
July 6th, 2009 at 6:17 pm [Reply]

#75 sugarpie – Well, I can’t provide a taser, but I can point you to an extremely handy chart detailing how this whole HTML thing works. The specific tag you’re looking for is <A>.
Motorposus
July 6th, 2009 at 6:17 pm [Reply]

Regarding Delilah’s top, LittleBigBlue is correct. This is not a halter, but a crop or midriff top. They were very popular in the 70s, from what I can tell, and when not worn with fishnets were sometimes accessorized with rickrack trim
sugarpie
July 6th, 2009 at 6:21 pm [Reply]

commodorejohn 78 Thanks! This time I’m going to print it out and staple it to the front of my monitor. Gonna’ make Uncle Lumpy proud!

Eventually.
Mibbitmaker
July 6th, 2009 at 6:26 pm [Reply]

GT: I know what that is. Gil has a bare arm in panel 1. In panel 2, those little spikes emerge from his arm, only to not be there in panel 3. What happened was that the spikes shot out of Gil like weapons. The “BLAM!” is the echo of that, thus the otherwise incongruent placement of the sound effect. Gil Thorp is actually a secret weapon. And, yes, that’s something crazy, alright.

Archie: That middle panel should be a stand-in for this strip every day.

DT: “Done in by weird cards” should be this year’s “More zippers, Mule”.

ReFOOB: The 1st panel should be repeated a 2nd time, but with the words “…It’d be a shame if something happened to it…” as the continuing dialogue. Just the two panels.

R&R: Something about little girls makes Rover sing Who songs.
Talking Squirrel
July 6th, 2009 at 6:33 pm [Reply]

#6 buckyswife says: “Wow, Josh–was that a Foucauldian reading of Crock?”

I know it isn’t quite how you intended it, but this makes a great-sounding putdown that will leave ‘em scratching their heads –

“That Supreme Court ruling was the biggest Foucauldian reading of Crock I’ve heard in a decade!”
Uncle Lumpy
July 6th, 2009 at 6:34 pm [Reply]

#78 cj -

Hee, hee! Fixed.

#80 sugarpie -

“I didn’t know sugarpie could do those things!”
BigTed
July 6th, 2009 at 6:43 pm [Reply]

The cook’s continued employment must be the result of some sort of civil-service regulation. Given the box’s likely broiling temperature, they could just as easily toss the prisoner a Hot Pocket and let it heat itself.
bats :[
July 6th, 2009 at 6:49 pm [Reply]

56. “HOOO” Guy: wow, those are excellent! Does Edda really have a slight bump in her nose (like Sister Satana actually hauled off and popped her one once)?
Do you have more of these squirreled away?

And Rice University has exquisite college arms (the owls and chevrons). We went to a conference there in 2000, and while I can’t speak too well of the dorms (or the Friday rush-hour traffic…at 1 in the afternoon), the main hall where we met was beautiful, as it the campus in general.
Islamorada Girl
July 6th, 2009 at 6:56 pm [Reply]

Starey etc. Whoo Guy–Those were really great sketches! Can you do anyone else, like Margo or Mary Worth or Dagwood?
commodorejohn
July 6th, 2009 at 6:57 pm [Reply]

#83 Uncle Lumpy – Yeah, didn’t that just figure…
Jilliterate
July 6th, 2009 at 7:06 pm [Reply]

MW: What I deduced from today’s fashion faux pas is that Mary’s powers, like those of the Green Lantern, are driven by her willpower and are ineffective against the colour yellow. It could be that Delilah has discovered Mary’s one weakness, and will escape from Charterstone unscathed, so long as her wardrobe maintains.

(This is the part where I’d include a Mary Worth version of the Green Lantern oath, but it’s surprisingly difficult to find words that rhyme with “meddle”)
Gap-Toothed Starey "HOOO" Guy
July 6th, 2009 at 7:07 pm [Reply]

#56 bats :[ – Thanks! There’s something funny about Edda’s nose that is hard to translate into anything close to human anatomy. It’s very short and tiny, but it does indeed have an odd bump in the bridge. I wasn’t sure how to parse it.

I also did one of Mrs. Duncan from Zits (she is also difficult to figure out, with her giant lips, weak chin, strangely shaped nose and perky/saggy breasts).

#86 Islamorada Girl – I thought about doing Mary and Margo, but I figure they are already drawn realistically enough that it’s pretty clear what they are supposed to look like. As for Dagwood, he is definitely on my list, once I can figure out what’s supposed to be happening with that hair.
mon-ma-tron
July 6th, 2009 at 7:08 pm [Reply]

“Charley” is obviously a thinly-veiled ~~ripoff~~ homage to Charlie Sheen’s character on Two and a Half Men: womanizing, striped-shirt-wearing Charlie Harper.

Remember, Captain Kangaroo was a CBS show too.
SandyH
July 6th, 2009 at 7:10 pm [Reply]

Bats, as a Houston native I can confirm that rush hour is indeed ALL THE TIME.
ka-pwingg
July 6th, 2009 at 7:11 pm [Reply]

Mary Worth isn’t having a stroke. That’s just her “Who farted?” face.
Pendragon
July 6th, 2009 at 7:15 pm [Reply]

Dear bats :[
Even if it has already been said before, may I say that mr. bats:[ is a very lucky man.
Vince M
July 6th, 2009 at 7:19 pm [Reply]

MW: I imagine Charley is wearing some kind of sweater-dress sleepwear like that creepy guy in ‘Attack of the (the) Eye Creatures’.
Niall
July 6th, 2009 at 7:23 pm [Reply]

35. one-eyed wolfdog: Gah! Now it keeps flipflopping for me too! Damn you!! I didn’t need this when I’m so weak…

36. Jim, Just Jim: This is not the first appearance of a talking Slylock. They are, however, rare.

59 Hoo Guy: Aieeeee!!!!

64 bats :[ : oh, my sides…
Gap-Toothed Starey "HOOO" Guy
July 6th, 2009 at 7:27 pm [Reply]

#95 Niall – Rusty will eat your soul.
Mary Worth Discussion Group
July 6th, 2009 at 7:29 pm [Reply]

I find it startling, shameful and perhaps a bit RACIST that no one on this board has mentioned Delilah’s cheap weave!
Ashtree
July 6th, 2009 at 7:45 pm [Reply]

MW:Has no one picked up the fact that Karen Moy has been watching a bit too much ‘Two and a half Men?’ Unauthorised parody ahoy!
One-eyed Wolfdog
July 6th, 2009 at 7:45 pm [Reply]

Hey, Niall, I owe you one for pointing out the Strict Machine video to me (which I love) so here’s one you might find interesting in exchange. Blame YouTube’s recommendation engine, which has developed a sort of… warped… profile of me, and dredged that up the other morning. I laughed until it hurt, personally.
Anonymous
July 6th, 2009 at 7:47 pm [Reply]

Speaking of Green Lantern, look closely at the seemingly ordinary T shirt behind Godiva in yesterday’s JP. After ensuring Sophie’s victory with the aid of a few giant green cheerleading props, this “old family friend” apparently wiped all our minds of the memory of witnessing said event.
Gap-Toothed Starey "HOOO" Guy
July 6th, 2009 at 7:53 pm [Reply]

I just realized that Delilah strongly resembles an adult Gina Gillotti. I actually like Gina. I had hoped her future would be a little brighter than this.
Fashion Police
July 6th, 2009 at 7:55 pm [Reply]

#22, LittleBigBlue:
We stand corrected, and mortified. Nonetheless, it is, as you say, an appalling outfit. We are distressed that Mary chose not to meddle her choice of apparel.

However, one may speculate that Mary’s expression in Panel 2 reflects her concentration in summoning up her full powers. Before this encounter, all she had to work with was a dissatisfied and restless young woman. Now she finds that said young woman seems prepared to act on her malaise, and with excruciatingly bad taste. Mary now has a challenge worthy of her abilities.
Pippy the Ziphead
July 6th, 2009 at 7:56 pm [Reply]

Of course Mary’s about to have a stroke! You would too if you ran into convicted sociopath murderer NEIL ENTWHISLE!!! Less surprising is that one of Mary’s friends actually dated him…
Alyeska
July 6th, 2009 at 8:01 pm [Reply]

If this turns out anything like the Tom Jones song, her husband will find out, and Delilah will end up stabbed on the front porch.
Pere Ubu
July 6th, 2009 at 8:12 pm [Reply]

Actually, it kind of looks like the Crock cook is feeding a toilet, which has eagerly grown a hand.

OMFG it’s the talking toilet from Marvin! It’s BREEDING!

JESUS CHRIST GET IN THE CAR
Matty B
July 6th, 2009 at 8:12 pm [Reply]

Motorposus: Thanks for that info; I’m guessing Mary Worth’s artist is stuck in the ’70s, then.
Donald the Anarchist
July 6th, 2009 at 8:12 pm [Reply]

Crock Is this the start of Crock’s drift to the right? Did Crock, for that matter, ever have a politicl perspective?

GT So are the Thorpe’s aware they’re in a comic strip? Do they realize how badly written and drawn it is. Will this be the subject of future strips. I guess I do have a reason to keep reading!

MW So Mary is only just NOW expressing her disapproval, I guess we’re to assume she started the walk with a “Hey, sexy outfit, girl!” Did she think it was for her?
Donald the Anarchist
July 6th, 2009 at 8:15 pm [Reply]

Ugh! My italics look likt the bolding on a Mark Trail strip. Sometimes I use Preview. Sigh
Motorposus
July 6th, 2009 at 8:20 pm [Reply]

#56 & #89 “HOOO” Guy – Gosh, these are great! If I had the ability, I’d try to tackle Wanda and Darryl from Baby Blues. Maybe you’ll take a crack at them some day?
Carly
July 6th, 2009 at 8:44 pm [Reply]

I think if Mary were a witch she’d show up at far fewer pool parties.

You can already tell this boyfriend is a creeper, but still, good for her for blowing Mary’s mind.
Niall
July 6th, 2009 at 9:00 pm [Reply]

99. one-eyed wolfdog: Oh, yes, I know of the video in question. Indeed, it’s… interesting. (Now, if at least most of the suits in the fandom were fitted half as well… though thankfully, a few are definitely fitted even better. And the ones filling them – ahem – are definitely of a similar persuasion as those in the video…)
odinthor
July 6th, 2009 at 9:02 pm [Reply]

Baldo. — Oh, I don’t know. After my stint at the hospital on a heavy duty floor buffer, everyone admired my new polish. But I hated it when they used the crevice attachment for my colonoscopy.

FC. — My home computer has the amiable habit of frequently deciding halfway down or so not to continue loading a varying selection of comics each day, leaving me with the engaging task of providing either the joke to bottom-captioned comics, or a mental illustration to accommodate the upper speech-balloons. It has a particular animus, it appears, against Hagar the Horrible and Lockhorns. As to Family Circus, today I know that Dolly is asking Jeffy to save some boogers for her.
buckyswife
July 6th, 2009 at 9:06 pm [Reply]

99 One-Eyed Wolfdog: Yipes. Is THAT what Cherry Trail is doing when she says she’s at the PTA? Giant forest creatures, indeed.
buckyswife
July 6th, 2009 at 9:09 pm [Reply]

me @ 113: Or I should say–Is that WHAT Cherry Trail is doing….?
Greenbrastic
July 6th, 2009 at 10:08 pm [Reply]

Crock – For a second after reading the strip, I imagined being stuck inside a tiny, stifling hot 1×2′ metal box for 25 years, subsisting on greyish gruel, my only human interaction being with an angry, uncaring cook who complains about his job as I sit rotting in my own feces, drained of all hope. I admit to feeling an unsettling moment of complete despair and existential angst after that. Thanks Crock!
Packherd
July 6th, 2009 at 10:21 pm [Reply]

I’m pretty sure that Mary is taking her new working gal out for a stroll – how else to explain Delilah’s outfit? Her expression shows her realization of every madame’s worst fear: that her best talent may be lured out of the business by the first smooth operator to come along who parts his hair down the middle.
sugarpie
July 6th, 2009 at 10:22 pm [Reply]

bats :[ I apologize for the Houston traffic, its only gotten worse in the last 9 years.

Yeah, great school emblem! And, more than a few of my Rice Alum. clients have ridiculous, larger than life-sized, concrete owl statury in their gardens.

However, the dorms at Rice have gotten much much better. The 00’s run up in oil prices supplied stupid amounts of $, and they used it for all sorts of spectacular new buildings as well as new dorms. It really is one of the best looking campuses (campi?) in the south. Pity I was way too stupid and broke to attend.

“Farmers Fight!”
KarMann
July 6th, 2009 at 11:06 pm [Reply]

@sugarpie #75,80: Also note that, when you just need a quick reminder, there’s a list of the tags you can use right above the comment box, including the attributes (like href=”" for the a-tag) that they can take. Very handy when you just need your memory jogged, like I often forget whether it’s [s] or [strike] here (with angle bracket conversion, but it’s just easier that way).
sugarpie
July 6th, 2009 at 11:16 pm [Reply]

KarMann, 118 I almost always forget those and they are STARING ME IN THE FACE! Thanks!
Three Owls
July 6th, 2009 at 11:48 pm [Reply]

Mary Worth: If Mary’s meddling powers aren’t working on Delilah, maybe she can take them over to Spider-Man and get him to stop watching TV and stop Wolverine from wearing a jogging suit and feeding the pigeons. Cripes. Old Wolvie is one set of trifocals away from being a crotchedy old retiree.
It\'s time to pay the price
July 7th, 2009 at 3:36 am [Reply]

“You’re looking VERY fine”
“Thanks, so how are YOU?”

Is this seriously how the artist thinks people talk when they flirt? It sounds like their entire understanding of the subject is based around porn.

Actually that sounds about right. If the author really practices what Mary preaches, it’s no surprise they end up alone and horny.
phTheDude
July 7th, 2009 at 4:03 am [Reply]

Oh no! Silk Spectre II is sticking to pattern: upset over her partner’s presence, or lack thereof, she attaches herself to a pasty white guy with floppy brown hair. I feel so bad for Dan.

Don’t do it Laurie – think of the children! Imagine how a broken home will hurt Archie.
Also: I bet Charley will not have as awesome a costume to have sex in as Nite Owl II.
Jenzie
July 7th, 2009 at 6:17 am [Reply]

Mary Worth looks just like and old Renee Zellweger in panel 2.
Hogenmogen
July 7th, 2009 at 9:02 am [Reply]

“Former teen hobo”? Gil is going to a hobo gathering? He better go buy some very expensive ripped up jeans.
Hogenmogen
July 7th, 2009 at 9:05 am [Reply]

#122 – I get it, Mary Worth/Watchmen mashup. Mary Watchmen? Except back in the 40s, she wasn’t out fighting crime, she was old EVEN THEN.
un malpaso
July 7th, 2009 at 10:13 am [Reply]

re MW:

A number of things jump to mind immediately upon reading this strip. Fortunately, most of them have been put in their proper place with a liberal treatment of heavy drugs. But some questions remain:
1.) Why are the characters hovering at an impossible angle over the ground in panel 1, so that we are simultaneously looking at them and down at the pavement?
2.) Where in America today would a woman have (apparently unironic) Margo Thomas hair and a yellow Gidget Goes to College halter top, other than possibly at a drag show or a rockabilly band’s gig?
3.) In what universe, anywhere or any time, would a guy use the word combinations “It’s been far too long” and “What a sight you are!” when speaking to another human being?
4.) Why does the Mary Worth colorist only have access to primary color inks? Is he not allowed to blend hues because of some “incident” in the past? Did this “incident” involve drinking mineral spirits in some way?

These questions are deep, and they go to the heart of many recurring artistic themes in MW. Perhaps another application of heavy drugs and mineral spirits is required.
Johnny Knuckles
July 7th, 2009 at 5:32 pm [Reply]

Can’t wait to see what kind of Worthy death awaits Stripey McSmirky.

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