Misty watercolor MEMORIES
Gil Thorp, 7/9/09
Despite my many gripes about it, I genuinely, unironically enjoy Gil Thorp for any number or reasons, one of which is its tendency to bring back beloved characters from deranged storylines past. Today’s returning guest star is the wonderful Ted Pearse, first discovered in the ghetto of Milford in late 2005 teaching the kids straight-up streetball, which it turned out he was well acquainted with because he lived on those very streets, as a homeless person, which caused the Mudlarks’ rival schools’ fans to taunt him by dressing up as hobos at games. Anyway, it now appears that he’s gotten a haircut and moved up in the world, to the extent that he can make Gil’s eyes go wide with the prospect of gainful employment. Perhaps Ted has graduated from Oliver Twist to Fagin, and Gil will be forced to spend the summer picking pockets and running petty scams to earn his daily bowlful of gruel.
Judge Parker, 7/9/09
Speaking of beloved characters from the past, did you know that global warming prophet/awesome cheerleader Sophie has a hotter, older sister named Neddy? You wouldn’t if you’ve only started reading Judge Parker in the last two years! Neddy has been studying art in Paris for all that time, living in a fab French apartment that Abbey bought for her from one of Neddy’s bio-relatives on a whim for a seven-figure sum (don’t ask). Now she’s returning … and with a friend! This makes Sam look concerned, because he hates people and is suspicious of your so-called “friendship.” Who will this mysterious friend be? If we’re lucky, it will be Cedric, who was working as a temp butler in said Paris apartment when Abbey and Neddy arrived (DON’T ASK); Cedric is handy with a gun and had a 21-year-old wife who was jealously stalking Neddy because of his admitted thing for teenage girls. If we’re really lucky, it will be this charming sociology grad student/hooker.
Mary Worth, 7/9/09
Mary Worth, in contrast, exists in an eternal, timeless present. The current storyline happens, and is all that ever happens, and when it ends the guest stars are hustled off into the grey mists that hover at edge of Santa Royale. While some, like Aldo, are literally killed, others, like Chester the dog, and Von and Vera, and Ron the city councilstud, and what’s-their-name, the couple where the husband kept trying to keep his wife plump, simply vanish, never to be heard from or thought about again, while new victims are drawn out from the same ether that surrounds Mary’s reality. Are we honestly expected to believe that Delilah and Charlie are real people who existed before they walked on stage this month, despite the fact that those of us who’ve been reading the strip for nearly seven years now have never once heard of them? Poppycock. There are certain themes, certain moments of eternal return that do recur, however. We know, for instance, that deep beneath Mary’s helpful facade is a terrible rage waiting to be unleashed, and that, when you see the anger lines radiating from her as we do here, an awful vengeance is brewing. Mary, stuck in her timeless world, may not even know what she’s capable of, but we know. We know, and we wait with eager anticipation.
(Speaking of things that we faithful readers remember, those with fond memories of Aldomania may enjoy today’s Something Positive strip, though be warned that after viewing it you’ll never be quite right again.)
Crankshaft, 7/9/09
In other news, Crankshaft is using his summer job as an ice cream truck driver as an excuse to follow scantily clad young women around while furtively masturbating.
July 9th, 2009 at 1:35 pm
S4th: A little worried about Sally’s sister. Has she mistaken her sofa for a boyfriend? Is the cat primping? Is it midsummer already?
July 9th, 2009 at 1:36 pm
My first time as the first poster. Not sure this is one I’ll brag about anywhere else.
July 9th, 2009 at 1:36 pm
Josh I think you’ve mislabeled Judge Parker as Gil Thorp.
And Gil’s wide-eyed face in the last panel gives me the creeps. He doesn’t look stunned so much as crazed.
July 9th, 2009 at 1:38 pm
Now we know for sure why Crankshaft drives a school bus – blatant pedophilia on the comics page!.
July 9th, 2009 at 1:41 pm
Hells yeh I’ll repost!
/9
C-Shaft: You know, in all the unpleasant character traits Fast Ed demonstrates, you don’t see much “Crankshaft is a dirty old man,” or “Crankshaft uses the ice cream truck to stalk scantily clad teens.” The novelty of it works, and by “works” I mean “makes my flesh crawl.”
FW: Please please PLEASE let Becky be finding the Lost Ark of the Coventant. It’s about time angry spirits melted everyone’s face off.
MW: Ha ha! Stew in it, lady!
Agnes: MRSA? Is this a belated Rex Morgan shoutout?
FT: Red hot mouse on pad action!
DtM: Henry Mitchell brings Dennis to visit old fraternity brother Norman Bates. Who knows? If all goes well the boy may get an apprenticeship.
Baldo: Papi will at the very least live long enough to make the little suck-up the prime beneficiary in his will.
GA: At this point Upton is wondering if he should do the merciful thing and shoot Slim in the head. Of course the bullet would probably whistle through without hitting any vital organs.
H&L: Lois, if you’re not dying, no one will feel the need to listen to these saccharine homilies of yours. The good news is that your idiot son seems cool with being cannibalized.
GT: So apparently Gil’s summer adventure will involve… going full-on brokeback with an ex-student. What will Mimi do? Hold the camera, presumably.
S-M: The world isn’t already paranoid enough about mutants. Oh no, Wolverine has to go and use his long freakish claws to threaten a stagehand while stalking an off-Broadway actress. When the news hits, I can only imagine that Charles Xavier will wash two valium down with a glass of Pepto Bismol.
July 9th, 2009 at 1:42 pm
cvk — Thanks, fixed.
Josh
July 9th, 2009 at 1:43 pm
MW: I don’t know who this Charley guy is, but his very prescence seems to drive Mary to new levels of rage. This may make him my favorite comic strip character of all time.
I always new Crankshaft was a grouchy old grump, but who knew he was a pervy grouchy old grump?
July 9th, 2009 at 1:50 pm
Why do you think they call him Crankshaft?
July 9th, 2009 at 1:53 pm
I’m getting concerned about Mary. She’s always been, er, pleasantly round-faced, but now, throughout this entire ridiculous conversation between whozits and whatshername, her face has been getting longer and longer — Delilah’s resistance to Mary’s meddling is breaking the fabric of Mary’s existence, causing her to literally melt before our eyes. I expect she’ll be a pancake on the swept-clean sidewalks of Charterstone by the end of the week, and Delilah and her new beau will hop over her as they go to celebrate their defeat of the witch hand-in-hand. Yyyyyesssss…
July 9th, 2009 at 1:53 pm
y117. True Fable: well, gee, thanks for sending back to the PhotoShop desk!
http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/3704154169/sizes/o/
July 9th, 2009 at 1:57 pm
How odd…Mary’s mind control rays are having no effect whatsoever on the other characters in her panel, yet she has managed to gain complete dominance over the psyche of Coach Gil.
July 9th, 2009 at 1:57 pm
Those aren’t anger lines coming off of Mary – she’s just anoyed because she tried to turn her Miracle Ear up to full volume and she’s getting feedback.
July 9th, 2009 at 2:00 pm
Those lines around Mary’s head can easily be removed with the help of Vagisil or some of Charley’s sweet, sweet monkeylove.
July 9th, 2009 at 2:01 pm
And is it just me, or is Mr.Stripes broken speech and wringing of the hands coming from the fact that Delilah is flashing him her right boob behind Mary’s back?
July 9th, 2009 at 2:02 pm
And over in JP, why is Sophie motioning as if to say, “Man just look at the size of my mother’s rack”?
July 9th, 2009 at 2:04 pm
Josh on Something Positive: You cannot unsee that. No matter how hard you try, that image will be seared into your frontal lobe. Poking out your eyes with salad forks will not stop the image. Word to the wise.
July 9th, 2009 at 2:06 pm
Crankshaft — With this turn of plot line, this strip should hereafter be known as “Yankshaft.”
Mary Worth — The way Mary’s head is radiating, I’m not sure if she’s just angry or if she is using psychokinetic power to fuck up this guy’s hairline.
Spiderman — Except for the tell-tale “snikkk” sound indicating otherwise, Logan’s razor claws look like he glued a garden cultivator on his forehand.
Snuffy — Judging from the terrible blood red globs everywhere, I guess the economy has forced the Hootin’ Holler jail to resort to cannibalism to feed the prisoners.
July 9th, 2009 at 2:09 pm
Crankshaft- Has the name of the ice-cream racket ‘Shaft’s been working for always been “Kool Kones,” or did he hastily paint on this passive come-on between laps five and six?
July 9th, 2009 at 2:12 pm
Mary Worth: Watch out, Charlie! That’s not an airplane taking off. Mary’s meddle-generator is starting up. In a few more panels, she’ll be up to her full 36 bhp (biddy horse power) then Pow! You’ll be platituded to the edge of sanity.
July 9th, 2009 at 2:15 pm
Leave it to Gil, though, if there’s an Artful Dodger storyline, it will turn out to be a trip into the seedy world of illegal gambling on semi-professional Dodgeball.
July 9th, 2009 at 2:16 pm
Mark Trail – How long has that owl with the talking frisbee been a character in this strip?
Mary Worth – It looks like someone’s putting an HO train set around her head….
July 9th, 2009 at 2:19 pm
MW: I’m really warming up to Smith–the middle-parted hair so reminiscent of Three’s Company, the smarmy grin, so reminiscent of Three’s Company, the rubbing hands. And the excuse for breaking up: “Um . . irreconcilable differences . . . yeah, that’s it, irreconcilable differences.” From the look on her face, Mary knows all about those “irreconcilable differences,” probably because it was her sordid mid-afternoon rendez-vous with Smith that broke up the marriage.
Crankshaft: There is literally nothing I can say or do that would reduce the creep quotient of this comic. Oh, god.
July 9th, 2009 at 2:19 pm
“It’s summer, Ted, so you’re my entire calendar.”
Maybe it’s because I haven’t dated for too long, but that’s the most romantic thing I think I’ve ever read. Someday, I hope to have a life partner who’s my entire calendar.
July 9th, 2009 at 2:19 pm
Is “Kool Kones” a subsidiary of “Jailbait Enterprises”?
July 9th, 2009 at 2:19 pm
I though Josh was somewhat full of it with the “Crankshaft” masturbation idea, until I began to notice all the phallic symbols in the panel, e.g. the ice cream cone and fudgesicle(?) illustrations on the van, the pickets and newel post of the fence, the stop sign, the trees…a Freudian delight, this strip is. Yes, I bow to Josh’s insight.
July 9th, 2009 at 2:21 pm
HOLY CRAP PRE-TIMESKIP FUNKY! Do you look half as studly as Funky Winkerbean did on 3/22/07, guys? If not, I’ve got some reeeeeeeeeeal bad news for ya…
July 9th, 2009 at 2:22 pm
In today’s Funky Winkerbean, SHE’S GETTING HER ARM OUT OF STORAGE!
July 9th, 2009 at 2:23 pm
Did… did you have to bring up Mary Worth’s and Crankshaft’s sexlives in conjunction like that? Are you trying to kill us?
July 9th, 2009 at 2:30 pm
Oh boy!
Gil Thorp may finally have realized his dream and become a male prostitute!
July 9th, 2009 at 2:39 pm
For several days Charlie has clearly been gearing up to devour Mary and lure Little Yellow Halter Top into some… irreconcilable differences.
July 9th, 2009 at 2:48 pm
You know, if Mary wasn’t in such a life-sucking relationship with Vietnam Jeff, one in which talking dirty consists of “Oh Mary, I loved the taste of your bland looking casserole”, she wouldn’t have to keep spreading her vicious anger and death stares at Delilah and Charlie’s possible momentary happiness. Then again, if Mary wasn’t like the way I described, she would probably be as interesting as an unattractive Jane Jetson.
July 9th, 2009 at 2:59 pm
FW reminds me of the unhappy alternate future that Michael J. Fox had to prevent in “Back to the Future.”
July 9th, 2009 at 2:59 pm
If there’s any justice in the world, Neddy’s “friend” will turn out to be Chuck Cunningham, the older brother who mysteriously disappeared from “Happy Days.”
July 9th, 2009 at 3:01 pm
Ice cream, you scream, we’d all scream if we saw the Shaft taking ol’ wrinkly out for a walk in our truck.
July 9th, 2009 at 3:01 pm
Today on Mary Worth: Proof that every single comic character in existence has a more effective Spider-sense than Spider-Man. Heck, even freakin’ Coach Thorp is clearly listening to that one lone line coming out of his skull as it screams “DANGER”, and this is the man whose Spider-sense can’t detect the same baseball three times in a row.
July 9th, 2009 at 3:05 pm
Those lines around Mary’s head look remarkably like the style Renaissance painters used when depicting the Virgin Mary. And the expression on her face is probably similar to the one that other Mary had when her son started hanging around with that awful Magdalene girl.
July 9th, 2009 at 3:12 pm
Neddy’s friend will be her lover, an improbably large-breasted Senegalese economics grad student. She will fit in seamlessly at the comic strip’s cocktail parties, able to wear revealing outfits and spout boring dialogue at the same time.
(I was going to say “strip cocktail parties” but it could have been misinterpreted).
Also, what if Mary Worth meddled in Crankshaft’s life. Where would she start? I’m pretty sure it would end in death.
July 9th, 2009 at 3:17 pm
Am I the only one who originally thought the young woman Crankshaft’s leering at is his own granddaughter? (Please tell me I’m not the only one…. Now I have to go and wash my brain out with soap.)
July 9th, 2009 at 3:18 pm
Glad you found that Something Positive reference. I read it daily, and you daily, so when my worlds collide . . .
. . . we have Mary sucking on a lollipop.
My worlds should never, ever collide again.
(P.S. The previous day’s strip is a Family Circus send-up, which actually made me laugh, rather than . . . whatever this did to me, that I will be paying for in therapy and/or medication to cope with for the rest of my life.)
July 9th, 2009 at 3:22 pm
Look out, Charlie! Mary is about to unleash her deadly nega-beams, which will strike you in the head and chest, leaving only a skeleton in a hideous red-and-white-striped shirt!
July 9th, 2009 at 3:22 pm
Judging by Mary’s expression, Charlie’s about to take a trip to the cornfield. “It’s a gooooood life.”
July 9th, 2009 at 3:30 pm
What does the ellipsis in “I didn’t know until today… I was saving it for a surprise!” mean? These two statements are at odds with one another; I take the ellipsis to be her thinking “Hm — they’re never going to buy that one — what excuse can I give?”
July 9th, 2009 at 3:33 pm
Damn you, Josh, for making me click on that link and once again seeing Rusty’s hideous face in close-up! For two years I’ve been trying to suppress that image!
July 9th, 2009 at 3:35 pm
Mary appears to be calling on her super meddling powers to handle this particularly worthy cause. Or maybe she’s calling on the Legion of Super-Meddlers to nip this situation in the bud. “Meddlers assemble!!!”
July 9th, 2009 at 3:35 pm
#38 – Big Ted – no, you’re not the only one. And I didn’t feel bad about it because really, even though I just started wearing glasses, I knew I couldn’t be the only one.
July 9th, 2009 at 3:37 pm
That Something Positive strip was genius.
Also, I’m pleased to see that the MW storyline is not going to be as bland and dull as the beginning suggested. Especially with all the rage not-so-discreetly peeking out from behind Mary’s face. Duuude, I cannot wait until Mr. Smith tries to get Delilah in bed!
July 9th, 2009 at 3:39 pm
Sure, his mouth says “We divorced because of irreconcilable differences,” but his maniacal grin says “She’s buried in my basement.” Mary just realized that she’s been transferred to Murder, She Wrote.
July 9th, 2009 at 3:40 pm
Hold the phone, Poindexter! Wasn’t Gil’s house JUST YESTERDAY being pelted by baseballs of unknown origin (BOUO)??!! Did I miss the installment of this strip that traditionally runs between Wednesday and Thursday, and would link these two totally unrelated events? Am I completely within my rights to scratch my head and say “What the fuck??!!”??”
Damn right I am…..
July 9th, 2009 at 3:42 pm
C’shaft – This brings new meaning to the song “Pop Goes The Weasel”.
July 9th, 2009 at 3:43 pm
Kool Kones indeed.
At least we’ve been spared the horrible vision of Crank going to the Dr. to get pills in order to help, well, his crank.
July 9th, 2009 at 3:45 pm
Perhaps Gil Thorp was the basis for HBO’s Hung.
July 9th, 2009 at 3:46 pm
#21 – Hmmm, a dead owl in DtM and a live one in MT. I’m extremely concerned now.
July 9th, 2009 at 3:58 pm
Gil: Yes, I, Ted “former hobo” Pearce have struck it rich on those internets doing that “blogging” thing! I am so rich that I can take my former coach out to an expensive lunch at Joey’s Subs, where I mop the floors at night in exchange for being allowed to sleep in the closet in the back.
July 9th, 2009 at 3:59 pm
I for one think the ‘Shaft’s motives are less sinister–he’s merely following those two scantily clad girls around so he can mutter rambling diatribes of disapproval to himself.
July 9th, 2009 at 3:59 pm
Josh, that Something Positive strip was indeed disturbing and although you warned me, I wasn’t ready for it. I thought to myself, “Self, this is just another in a long line of silly parodies, and I am the – how you say? – hip and ‘with-it’ dude, so how bad can it be?” Three hours and a bottle of bleach to the eyes later, I’m…well, you need stronger warnings I guess is what I’m trying to say.
July 9th, 2009 at 4:02 pm
Snuffy Smif: The Sheriff, after a murderous rampage of the citizens of Hootin Holler, finds a way to dispose of the bodies.
Beetle Bailey: Nice to know our brave non-fighting men can’t even walk and chew gum at the same time.
Hagar the Horrible: The lack of sex in this comic indicates that, while Hagar may eat like a horse, he’s hung like a horsefly.
July 9th, 2009 at 4:06 pm
34. Bob: I think “Ol’ Wrinkly” was the original title for the sequel to “Ol’ Yeller”…Disney thought it wise release it as “Savage Sam.”
July 9th, 2009 at 4:16 pm
Crankshaft: all the thanatos, but now with added eros!
July 9th, 2009 at 4:18 pm
Open letter to “humour” strip creators: while exaggeration is good for comedic value, all humour is lost when exaggeration itself is exaggerated. Moderation will work quite fine, thank you.
Example 1: Crankshaft above. Truck going twice around is fine, three times is when you notice, and the fourth time is when one would naturally remark to a companion about it; it still makes it clear the old guy is ogling. Ten times, and we’re into masturbatory territory as pointed by Josh as the only sane reading of the strip.
Example 2: today’s Blondie (which coincidentally also deals with women in revealing clothes, but at least allows the possibility that mature women can also be sexy, so one point for it to start with). All was okay until the last speech balloon – “three weeks straight”; is that each day for three weeks, or each week for three weeks? It might work twice at the most, but even on the third try the rest of the dialogue would never be uttered. Just changing the above quote to “last week” and you still have some form of humour – even if it’s of the form of “ha ha, the women encouraged him and are dumb themselves”.
Reign in your sense of exaggeration and you will be funnier, and we’ll have fewer targets to play with. As fun as it is for us, I think most of us would really be happy to see the strips improve enough to find them at least semi-enjoyable, instead of calling for their replacement by fresh blood.
Thank you.
July 9th, 2009 at 4:19 pm
Where is Carlos Alora? He was a regular, dammit! We catch up with Wilbur Weston at the pool parties, and Chinbeard even gets plottybits once in a while, but never a peep from Señor C.
I call foul, and will wreak my vengeance.
July 9th, 2009 at 4:21 pm
Since I don’t know a thing about Crankshaft, I’ll venture the following -
He’s driving around the same block because he doesn’t have a driver’s license.
July 9th, 2009 at 4:22 pm
Well, Crankshaft might usually be hateful and depressed, but now that he’s driving around, ogling young stuff, he’s probably a bit more cheerful. He’s in shadow… maybe he’s wearing dark glasses and a wig?
July 9th, 2009 at 4:23 pm
At last! Mary is about to peel the rubber mask from her face and reveal the creature within!
July 9th, 2009 at 4:26 pm
BigTed (#38) – I noticed it too. I would have validated your observation earlier, but I only very recently stopped vomiting.
In all seriousness, though – given the shading of his face, is there a way to interpret this as anything but creepy and inappropriate? This is the stuff of law-enforcement maintained databases, not light hearted comics.
Oh, wait, did I say ‘light hearted?’ I almost forgot who writes this daily soul-crusher.
July 9th, 2009 at 4:32 pm
If you buy a sundae from Crankshaft, whatever you do, don’t ask for it with “mashmallow creme topping”! Eeewww…
July 9th, 2009 at 4:40 pm
On top of Ol’ Wrinkly, all covered in something…
July 9th, 2009 at 4:42 pm
Can someone explain today’s Shoe to me? Is it a joke about the practically discontinued soda Slice? And if so, why would you put Slice in an already existing drink? Is this a golf joke I don’t get?
July 9th, 2009 at 4:44 pm
#65 Perky Bird – Beat me to it!
July 9th, 2009 at 4:46 pm
Crank might be stalking Mindy, his granddaughter. But what rules that out for me is that Mindy would have noticed, after 10 times around the block, that the driver was her grandfather. I think the dark cloud that hangs in the air above Ed Crankshaft’s head as a silent sentinel of writhing hate would be instantly recognizable.
#48 – Juggernaut – Gil mentioned on Monday, before being interrupted by the baseball incident, that he was having lunch with Ted Pearce. As for the culprit, I have nothing but circumstantial evidence. This kid in Slylock Fox mysteriously moved a baseball from the front of his bat to behind his bat in between frames of film. Like I said, only circumstantial evidence, but I’m considering the case closed.
July 9th, 2009 at 4:51 pm
#67 – Lael – “Hook” and “slice” are bad shots in golf, just as Shoe is a bad attempt at humor. I think by “slice”, he’s referring to a slice of lemon or lime or whatever. You wouldn’t put a slice on a tough guy drink is all I know. Martinis get olives, so horrible to eat that you prove your manliness right there. Then you have to choke down the gin and vermouth to cement the image.
Pig is going to buy Rat a case of microbrew. But micros are rarely sold by the case, bro. No slices in beer.
July 9th, 2009 at 4:56 pm
FC: I wonder if birds fly in any other letters than a ‘V’?
Yes, they fly in an upper case lambda. …Oh, and you’re a cretin.
July 9th, 2009 at 5:04 pm
Mary’s angryface is making me wildly excited. I cannot WAIT to see her unleash some kind of righteous vengeance on these innocent victims.
July 9th, 2009 at 5:09 pm
CS: Never mind why Cranky is cruising…. why is the Red Light District in suburban Ohio in the middle of the day?
JP: Ah, Cedric, you should have taught Steve McNair…
July 9th, 2009 at 5:20 pm
If gleeful anticipation of another MW storyline every bit as awe-inspiring as The Summer of Aldo wasn’t enough, that Something Positive strip just put it all over the edge of wonderful.
Mary, with your Virgin of Guadalupe halo, don’t let us down! Unleash the excesses! You’ve given us something to live for.
Or down, as the case may be.
July 9th, 2009 at 5:26 pm
Give Crankshaft a little credit. He’s not leching on his granddaughter, he’s leching on a girl who is almost completely indistinguishable from his granddaughter. There, now don’t we all feel better?
July 9th, 2009 at 5:40 pm
Delilah is the one immune to Mary’s meddle powers. She’s obviously and Agent sent from Outside to destroy The Meddler.
She invited herself into Mary’s lair, posing as a confused young housewife and easy meat. However, she fended off Mary’s initial efforts, then had the effrontery to appear in public (in Charterstone, no less) in suburban skankwear and activate the Demon Charlie. Mary suddenly realizes she’s in grave danger and tries to fire up the nuclear meddle reactor before it’s too late.
If Mary can’t control the sudden power surge in the meddle reactor, it could be the end of civilization as we know it.
July 9th, 2009 at 5:47 pm
What is the significance of Sam’s hand gesture in panel one? If he’s indicating “Neddy” by hooking his thumb in the direction of Paris, I have to say he has a much better sense of direction than I do.
also #15 Nekrotzar: You are 100% correct. Sophie is indeed making the universal hand signal for “bodacious ta-tas.” Maybe that’s how she indicates “Neddy.”
July 9th, 2009 at 5:48 pm
I’m still trying to decide whether the placement of that stop sign is intentional. Has Crankshaft been circling the block for so long that the city council’s actually put up a sign to give him a hint?
July 9th, 2009 at 5:49 pm
Y140, Uncle Lumpy, et al.,
It may appear that only 9 days have elapsed since Abbey left Paris, but the Spencerverse is non-Euclidean and time is much more fluid. It is possible for time to pass there without our being aware of it. Conversely, short time periods may appear to stretch beyond our senses. It is best not to attempt to rationalize Spencerian time according to our familiar space-time grid. That way lies madness.
July 9th, 2009 at 5:54 pm
Mary Worth vs. Margo Magee who do you think would win?
July 9th, 2009 at 6:00 pm
When I was a wee lad there was this show on Saturday mornings where a kid named Billy would find some odd spot, normally with a rock, to shout “Shazam!” and he’d turn into this gay porn star with a bad mustache (that’s how I remember it) and bad guys would cower in fear and women would run with their arms flailing like swastikas in the breeze and right would be restored and then the porn star would become Billy again and he’d be forced to learn AN IMPORTANT LESSON from some animated Greek gods. Oh, and he rode around in a van with this guy named Mentor who was either his grandfather or his much, much older lover. I was never sure. At this very moment, Mary Worth has the “Shazam!” look on her face. I have no idea who or what she’ll turn into but it has to be good. Maybe Biddy from Here Comes the Brides in a leather tunic and matching headband. Or the goddess Athena. Hell, she could turn into Mrs. Olsen and throw hot coffee on him for all I care. Let the meddlesome mayhem begin!
July 9th, 2009 at 6:08 pm
Umm. Crankshaft is a school bus driver. Now, they don’t do background checks on ice cream truck drivers, to the best of my knowledge, but the definitely do them on school bus drivers, which I know because Mr Next drives one. Ed is putting an awful lot on the line here.
Or maybe not, since much of his behavior as a bus driver has displayed a pretty vicious attitude toward kids, and neither his bosses nor the school district nor the parents seem to care. Does he drive in Funky Winkerbean’s town? Maybe everyone’s so depressed about their sad pathetic lives and/or diagnoses, that they figure the kids’ll be dead before the old guy can do much damage.
July 9th, 2009 at 6:11 pm
I’m sure that Mary will prevail (you don’t see this strip being called “Charley Smith,” do you), but I hope that Charley will give the old biddy a run for her money and make her sweat a little; it is summer, after all.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/3704776321/sizes/o/
July 9th, 2009 at 6:23 pm
JP: Perhaps the arrival of Neddy will herald the end of the recent DDrought, wrought by the wildly unsatisfying lack of spectacle associated with the unseen cheerleading tryouts.
MW: All Charley has to do to send Mary into a seething rage is leer at Mary’s waif du jour. The air around them literally thrums with asexual tension. You could cut it with a trivet.
Crankshaft: In truly creepy Batiuk tradition, we’re only partially assured that Ed isn’t pleasuring himself to the sight of girls one fifth his age– we can only see one of his hands.
July 9th, 2009 at 6:23 pm
The Hell Beast calls forth his Satanic Master to reign destruction upon all mortals
July 9th, 2009 at 6:29 pm
81. Dingo: I remember that series (but I didn’t watch it — too old for it, or something). However, here are pieces of the introduction:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7t3gtfI1G4c&feature=fvw
And because my knowledge of superheroes is sadly lacking, I didn’t realize that “Shazam!” stood for the immortal who counseled Captain Marvel:
S-Solomon? (Wisdom)
H-Hercules (Strength)
A-Atlas (Stamina)
Z-Zeus (Power)
A-Achilles (Courage)
M-Mercury (Speed)
(Somehow, I thought (maybe it was just wishful thinking), that your memories would’ve riveted on something more prurient, like Sodomy, Handjob, Anal… well, you get the idea.)
July 9th, 2009 at 6:33 pm
That Something Positive strip is awesome! Disturbing? Sure, but, wow! Guess I’ll go dig through the archives.
Thanks, Josh!
Hey, Shazam’s on!
July 9th, 2009 at 6:38 pm
80; Zerowolf. In a deathmatch between Margo Magee and Mary Worth, there would be no winners. The entire universe would be sucked into a giant black hole from the clash of two Superyentas.
Pray it never happens or life as we know it will cease to exist.
July 9th, 2009 at 6:45 pm
#84 ktb –
. . . and replace it with a mild spell of aaaridity.
July 9th, 2009 at 6:48 pm
Longtime followers of JP will recall about two or three years (or centuries ago in JP time), Sophie hired an Indian guy to come to the States from Mumbai to ghostwrite her term papers. Said guy eventually joined Local State University’s Boat Wrestling Team and disappeared. But it was foretold in an interview with JP’s author that Said Indian Guy, whose name I can’t recall,
would somehow factor into Neddy’s Paris adventures. I wonder if he’s the one she’s returning with?
July 9th, 2009 at 6:57 pm
JP: Did you know that if the local Rite Aid is out of your particular shade of Clairol, you can just break open a red Magic Marker and rub the spongy stuff inside directly on your hair? Not that you should, mind you…
GT: “Ted Pearse graduated, what… three artists ago?” “Yeah, I’m gonna go down to the sub shop and see if either one of us recognizes the other. Remind me, was my chin even cleft back then?”
July 9th, 2009 at 6:59 pm
#90 – Raju. (I almost said Sabu. Long story. “I want to be a sailor…”)
July 9th, 2009 at 7:17 pm
I had written off this Mary Worth story weeks ago, but now I’m having a change of heart. I’m digging this Charley Smith guy. He’s shortening Mary’s lifespan while setting Delilah up for some major sobbing. I can’t wait to see him use Delilah and then ditch her faster than than Mary could bore you with salmon squares and small talk.
July 9th, 2009 at 7:18 pm
Crankshaft’s black heart darkens stopsigns.
July 9th, 2009 at 7:34 pm
MW: I like how the guy loses his train of thought right in the middle of a sentence while he’s staring at Dana’s chest, so he just stammers out the name of the first movie he can remember featuring Sharon Stone naked.
July 9th, 2009 at 7:35 pm
Er, Delilah. Like the song. There’s a song called “Delilah,” right?
July 9th, 2009 at 7:35 pm
JOSH SHOULD DROP EVERYTHING AND CLICK ON SOMETHING POSITIVE!!!
http://www.somethingpositive.net/sp07092009.gif
Mary Worth your while!
July 9th, 2009 at 7:38 pm
The Shaft: This explains so much.
July 9th, 2009 at 7:48 pm
JP: Is this the same Neddy who many years ago had a young (Harry Potter age) suitor — a nascent Dr. Ethan Noll who set off some kind of fireworks display or shot rockets at the homecoming football game? The resulting furor disrupted the budding non-romance (she wasn’t that smitten with him anyway, IIRC).
I remember that kid because he was, well, me — a crazy romantic rocket plumber. Maybe he’s the one coming back after a decade?
July 9th, 2009 at 8:01 pm
666CL: Oh, and I wanted to express my approbation of today’s strip. I love it how Monty gradually sidles around until by the last panel he’s managed to put Thorax’s continental bulk between him and Sister Erinye.
He must’ve had to move r-e-a-l f-u-c-k-i-n s-l-o-w so as not to kick up a wake. Sister’s sharp eye would’ve spotted that right away.
Or maybe I’ve got this backward. Perhaps Monty saw that Thorax has been mesmerized by Sister’s sermonette, and is sneaking behind him so he can hit him a few licks with his rhythm stick.
July 9th, 2009 at 8:10 pm
Street Ball you say?
I think it’s obvious that Ted will induct Gil into the Woody Harrelson role in a White Men Can’t Jump style half court hustle. The brilliant part is that they’re both white so they stand to hustle twice as well and make double the money.
Eh, why am I trying to be glib or witty. That Something Positive can bury anything I’ve got. That close up of Bizarro Mary’s lips sucking the lollipop had more style than a year of real Mary Worth’s clumsily composed torso-up shots. If only we could experience Elseworlds Mary Worth and her visceral and gritty misadventures as a professional dominagatrix in the Charterstone Public Housing complex.
I imagine in that alternate reality Tommy the Tweaker would still be Bizarro Mary’s nemesis, but he’d Tommy the Socially Active Reverend.
July 9th, 2009 at 8:12 pm
#97 Marion — Did … did you see the link in the post above? The for which the text is “today’s Something Positive strip”?
Josh
July 9th, 2009 at 8:17 pm
MT – The real drama in today’s comics is in panel two of Mark Trail, where we see an owl with a scowl (not unlike that of Mary Worth) poised to pierce with its wicked talons the tiny vole whose unfortunate illumination by the full moon makes him an easy target, and whose only avenue of escape, alas! is to fling himself over a precipice (not unlike Aldo Kelrast, RIP). I think we all know how this will end, but the high drama of this life-and-death struggle is, I must say, unmatched by the toxic-drum-gangster background story of Mark Trail. It does, however, parallel the action in Mary Worth, where the Charterstone manager flexes her own manicured talons as she contemplates her prey, the hapless and hopelessly striped resident rodent, Charley.
July 9th, 2009 at 8:27 pm
Is that Mary’s spider-sense tingling? Her meddle-sense? Or is she simply receiving a message from the voices from beyond? “Kill the stripe shirted one? Grind him into a thick paste with which you shall feed your young? It shall be done, my masters.”
July 9th, 2009 at 8:42 pm
Violet #77:
What?!? I always thought that that was the universal hand signal for “huge tracts of land”!
July 9th, 2009 at 8:43 pm
81: Dingo, I really hate to contemplate this, but one of the many, many “Marvels” in the Shazam! series is Mary Marvel.
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/c/c8/Power-of-shazam-4.jpg
and a poorly rendered version from “40’s style”:
http://ournewwebsite.com/images/art/mary-marvel-72-09.jpg
July 9th, 2009 at 8:48 pm
The lines radiating from Mary look like Spidey-sense lines — the potential to meddle is making her tingle.
July 9th, 2009 at 9:13 pm
59 – Niall
Also, how slow must those girls walk if they have seen the truck circle TEN times?
July 9th, 2009 at 9:17 pm
102: It sounds like a community theater production of RAIN.
July 9th, 2009 at 9:19 pm
Whoops. That’s 103 to you.
July 9th, 2009 at 9:42 pm
Islamorada Girl, you are mistaken. A community theatre production would be ten times better than this. This is Seven Brides for Seven Brothers as done by Monty Python (found the script but not a clip).
July 9th, 2009 at 9:44 pm
108 Shoshi Excellent point.
Maybe Crankshaft and his Ice Cream Truck of Abuse are getting ready to fall prey to a vice sting. How rewarding for the long suffering reader to see C’Shaft on the front page of the paper and his miserable family run out of town.
Or are the girls just another couple of teen psychopaths out for a casual stroll and maybe the chance to roll some pervy senior and boost his hubcaps, bomb pops,and wallet? Just another summer afternoon in Batiuk’s world.
July 9th, 2009 at 9:55 pm
Archie: I’m no Archiephile, but have we ever seen Jughead’s mom before, because she is simply terrifying. She looks like Grease’s Rizzo back from bowling league night. Also, I realize Jughead is lazy, hence his hat/crown sitting askew on the lamp, but why on God’s green earth is there a whole fish inside the uneaten sandwhich on the bedside stand in Panel 1. Is Jughead some sort of gollum-like creature that subsists on raw fish, bones, innards and all? And what is with the shamless self-promotion in Archie lately, the creepy puppets and ventriloquist dolls, the Archie comic on today’s strip? Why don’t they skip all the pretense, forgo any art and dialogue, and just list all the ISBNs and ASINs to the Archie books and mags in the panels?
July 9th, 2009 at 10:03 pm
Wait, wait…. Am I wrong or is Blonde Girl that Crankshaft is checking out his granddaughter? She certainly looks like it. But I suppose she’d recognize Ol’ Grampaw and would probably make some mention of that fact — unless, of course, she didn’t want her friend to know that her grandfather is Crankshaft, and that, frankly, is an all too reasonable assumption.
July 9th, 2009 at 10:15 pm
Hi and Lois: “Do you know the recipe for a happy family? Well kids, it’s something called divorce. That, and the bathtub gin I’ve been drinking all night. That helps too.”
Mary Worth: “Irreconcilable Differences”?! Dear Lord, Ryan O’Neal is hitting on Mary’s friend!
July 9th, 2009 at 10:23 pm
Okay….
Judge Parker: I think Josh is right. The new friend is Cedric or the grad student/hooker, hoping for the latter, or it could be a new character, a classmate of Neddy’s who likes to walk around the house naked because clothes are so bourgeoise….I think I spelled that right…
Luann: Currently taking bets on whether Quill the exchange student shows up at the pool with his new boyfriend, in full view of Tiffany, sending her and the girls into some kind of emotional spiral.
Crankshaft: I genuinely enjoyed Crankshaft today. And I get the feeling i’ll never be able to say that ever again.
My Cage: Yeah, i’m kinda hoping for an Ashley/Norm pairing too, but if Melissa keeps drawing Maureen like THAT, i’ll be okay with Norm taking her out for coffee….
July 9th, 2009 at 10:27 pm
Archie – I don’t think that’s how you’re supposed to make a fish sandwich.
Crankshaft – Well, let’s look at this from Ed’s point of view once. “Is it my imagination, or have I been around this block ten times now, seeing those same two girls walking this stretch of street?”
Dick Tracy – I repeat: I have understood nothing that has happened here for about the last two weeks. I mean, I know the thing ordinarily makes only the barest minimum of sense anyway, but lately I have been completely baffled.
Popeye – Here, by contrast, I think I know exactly what is about to happen. Olive’s proclamation that the ghostly manifestations weren’t real caused more than just the vulcture to go POOF. The long-coveted Boodle Book is lost, but Popeye will be so happy to have his sweetie back safe that it won’t really matter in the end. And that’s why Popeye is the greatest superhero ever.
I am delighted by the idea that you have to get within about twenty yards of Olive Oyl in order to distinguish her from a flagpole.
July 9th, 2009 at 10:59 pm
Thanks, Hogenmogen. The sheet vagueness confused me…
July 9th, 2009 at 11:01 pm
Screw it, that name was a nom-de-net waiting to happen.
And my thoughts on Cranky were far more innocent than yours, Josh. Instead of crankin’ his shaft, I merely thought he was stalking two cute girls in order to murder them and freeze their dead bodies in his truck. There’s just something about “ice cream man” that says “Serial Killer” to me.
July 9th, 2009 at 11:05 pm
Baldo: Nice bedside manner there, Dr. House.
July 9th, 2009 at 11:07 pm
@119: While you were posting your comment – that exact thought was going through my mind. So I made it come true.
Oh and @bats :[ from yesterday, I think we know now how she lost her arm.
July 9th, 2009 at 11:09 pm
81– Dingo, MY Captain Marvel NEVER had a mustache, porn or otherwise. May the ghost of CC Beck haunt your dreams tonight!
Besides, Billy was always the cuter one in that pair.
July 9th, 2009 at 11:22 pm
81. Dingo, as always, I must bow before your superior wit.
But, do think of our Mary as Blanche du Bois in the Chatterstone Community Theater production of STREETCAR. It will, sadly, require brain bleach when we”ve finished casting it. But I can really see Wilbur Weston in the Karl Malden role.
July 9th, 2009 at 11:23 pm
Furtively masturbating, Josh? I think you’re giving the sociopathic ’shaft more credit than he’s due.
July 9th, 2009 at 11:26 pm
Sorry to mench, but was “a rhythmic thumping from the cab of that truck that’s not in time with the music?” too vague? Perhaps I should have a second try. Would it have been better if I’d said:
“having a date with Madame Thumb and her four daughters”?
“taking the bronze in the one-armed Olympics”?
“checking his dispstick 120 times a minute”?
“practicing churning”?
“teaching his snake to spit”?
“flogging the frog”?
“conjuring hand cream”?
“slamming the ham”?
“lap wrestling himself”?
“auditioning his finger puppet”?
“playing a Hand Solo”?
“raping Señor Wences”?
“polishing his helmet”?
“manifesting ectojism”?
“fixing his Pez dispenser”?
“taking advantage of himself”?
“spanking the monkey”?
“strangling the lizard”?
“choking the chicken”?
“masturbating”?
July 9th, 2009 at 11:32 pm
Cat’s Pause
It was late. Far too late. Charley made his way down the path from the parking lot to his condo at Charterstone and was struck by the blackness of the night. No moon. But usually, he could still see the path. Charley looked up. How many streetlamps were out? Two? Three? Shards of glass crinkled beneath his feet.
A small river of shivers tingled down his back. His manroot still felt the sensation of Delilah’s lips upon it. He hadn’t ejaculated like that since the tenth grade with Father Murphy in the vestibule. His testicles felt like the Winter Palace devoid of furniture or a Republican seminar on the sanctity of marriage.
A twig snapped. Charley halted. Maybe it was an overly large squirrel like the ones he’d seen in Lost Forest. In the distance lay the lights of Charterstone but he was in the midst of a black nothingness not unlike the brain of a Fox News host. He began to put a foot forward when suddenly something or someone grabbed his foot and sent him hurtling to the ground.
He tried to shout but couldn’t; a tender foot rested upon his neck and kept him from it. Charley kicked his leg and nailed the person in the back.
“My lumbago!” someone cried in a high-pitched elderly voice.
It was THE NINJA OF CHARTERSTONE. The stories were true! When intoxicated patrons of the pool parties would tell their stories of facing a ninja during their times of tribulation, he scoffed at them. Scoffed, he did. Commit adultery and find a throwing star in your door. Invite an elderly woman in for tea and gossip and find nunchucks flying through the air at your next soiree on the lanai.
Charley got to his feet and into fighter stance. He shouted, “I know you’re there! I smell salmon and leathery pussy! You wanna fight? Fight!”
With that, a silk-covered foot landed squarely on his nose, sending rivulets of blood scattering through the night. “More!” he shouted. “Is that all you got?”
A slow whistling sound like octogenarian labia flapping in the breeze caught his ear. From the right! He turned and put out a fist. It smacked against someone’s head. He heard the ninja crumple to the ground, though he could not see anything.
Charley began to walk again. He lifted his hand and wiped the blood from his face. Not much farther and he’d be safe. He’d get home, call the police, and all would be well.
There was a sound of scampering feet. First behind him, now in front. Charley went back into fighter stance. Before him, he heard the sound of metal upon metal. In the faint glimmer of light from the condos, he could see the sword before him. And those eyes. He knew those eyes! The ninja stood before him, dressed in black. Charley began to urinate in his pants.
to be continued
July 10th, 2009 at 12:19 am
CS: I’ll buy that Ed is making sure no one pesters his granddaughter &/or she doesn’t get shortchanged by her tricks. It is Funkytown … (tomorrow strip has Ed following one of the Johns I think) —
FW: Where I have to say I’ve no idea what is happening with Rana, Wally’s ex and the Comic Store guy she married out of guilt for her mom trying to destroy 17 years earlier (but before the time jump so 4 years realtime?) – I followed the strip because some random character gave Wally gave him Terry Lee’s flak jacket – sadly the strip got bogged down with death and cancer and obesity …
July 10th, 2009 at 12:28 am
JP — Hey, let’s be fair. Afficianados of the female form have had their turn in JP over and over. Maybe Neddy’s friend will turn out to be a guy who’s intelligent, intriguing, and good-looking, the kind of guy who is actually appealing, the kind of guy who…
*dope-slaps self*
Sorry, I forgot this is JP. Bring on the big new bazooms!
July 10th, 2009 at 12:36 am
Meddle House My, Mary sure can haul beotches around and manhandle them into submission! That’s probably the most physical activity Mary’s done since she took on the crew of the U.S.S. Constitution during Fleet Week in ‘08. 1808.
Sam Driver, Chick Magnet & Friends Hmmm, I’m not sure about something. Would Abbey refer to Cedric as “a man friend” Neddy met in Paris, or as “the butler I told you about”? Then again, maybe she didn’t want to tell Sam about Cedric so she could keep a pleasant memory all to herself. So it’s still hard to tell if Woody’s going to bring back our favorite butler/ punk eradicator, or not. Let’s hope so. I want to see if any of these square jaws are made of glass.
RMMW Yeah, let’s see you get away with paying an RN food server’s wages, honey. She’ll cut you, bitch, and she’ll know just where to cut!
Freaky Wonderbread Who the hell is this girl? yes I Know I should keep abreast of every single mopey lookiing kid in this strip but holy shit man, I have a life and I want to get back to it, and keeping up with all these droopy schmoes would be a full time gig.
Scenes from Suburban Hell The Brownes remind us that teenagers are lazy, no-’count slackers who demand graft from their put-upon parents. Sort of like a Patterson, huh.
C’haft Nothing to see here, just C’haft being a dickweed. AGAIN.
Children of the Circle “You will eat your three sprouts, and you will like it! That is all you are getting this week, so you’d damn well better like it! I mean, oh aren’t you clever, son!”
Dennis Schmenace I like how the interrogation spotllight has him backed into the corner.
Dont Ask Dont Tell Sarge asks Beetle out for a date, Army style.
IFHZ I suspect that Jeremy is actually Chip Flagston with the hair combed out of his eyes.
Fist O Justice Theater The Jackelrod Ball has competition in the form of the Biggest Fucking Moon in the history of EVER. It’s like that really stupid movie on the other week, about the moon falling out of orbit due to being hit by a brown dwarf sun or some damn thing. So THAT’S where Elrod’s getting his ideas now. *groan* From bad sci-fi!
July 10th, 2009 at 12:37 am
7/10 MT — I wish someone would let the color monkeys out of their basement prison cells occasionally so they could see actual birds. What they’ve done to this poor meadowlark is really sad.
July 10th, 2009 at 12:48 am
I miss Aldo.
July 10th, 2009 at 12:48 am
7/10
MW — *jaw drops to floor*
S-M — So Wolverine has had 150 years to figure out how to appeal to women, and this is the best he can do by way of an opening line? Oy. Even flatworms learn faster.
Between Friends — I think this strip should be renamed “Among Idiots.”
July 10th, 2009 at 12:49 am
Muffaroo, “raping Señor Wences” is the best euphemism for yankin’ the crank in the history of evah!!!!
July 10th, 2009 at 1:07 am
#132 O Poteet, my queen! – about Mary Worth – I know; right? I’ve never seen the old girl so…so… Active! Forceful! No, that’s not what I’m looking for…ah! So Physically Meddlesome!
She’s not just dispensing advice, she’s fucking well hauling that girl down the sidewalk like Beau Hassendoodle trying to extract Miss Viola Hassendoodle from the Stomp ‘N’ Holler last Saturday night. And just check out the grip she’s got on Delilah’s shoulder in panel two; crap, next thing you know she’s going to tell that Jezebel to cover up before she makes a fool of herself again next Saturday night.
Yep, Delilah is the comics version of Viola Hassendoodle, only G rated, and Beau would NEVER wear purple flowers in place of his vintage AC/DC tee shirt.
July 10th, 2009 at 1:22 am
I added a bonus idea I had yesterday to my CrankKillerShaft post. If Jeffy did say that – it would add a whole new dimension to Mr. (Or should I say Mrs) Coverly actually being a butch dike.
July 10th, 2009 at 1:38 am
#81 Dingo: If you’re allowing Mary to turn into Mrs. Olson, why not Sarah Tucker? She could toss Cool Whip on them, cue Bow Chick Bow Wow music.
July 10th, 2009 at 1:40 am
MW – This may be the most beautiful thing I have ever seen on the comics page. Full-contact meddling!
July 10th, 2009 at 1:48 am
TGIFunnies!!
FW: why do I waste my time on this piece o’ poop?
JP: “Are Rocky and Godiva coming home with us, Sam?”
“Yes, Sophie. We’re going to adopt them just like we adopted you and Neddy.”
(Abbey (scoping out Rocky): “Hotcha!”)
MW: oh, man! Honest to gosh, Mary is certifiably out of control.
I love it.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/3705754601/sizes/o/
July 10th, 2009 at 2:01 am
Rhymes with Orange-I actually laughed.
July 10th, 2009 at 2:09 am
#117 myself re: Popeye – Or, alternately, now that I see Friday’s strip, maybe the whole story arc has been a subtly crafted retelling of The Lord of the Rings. I would have expected Swee’Pea to play the Gollum role, though, rather than than Olive.
July 10th, 2009 at 2:09 am
S-M “Name’s Logan, aka Wolverine” (aka “not too bright”. Spidey isn’t gonna like Logan hittin on his wife)
Pearls Before Swine: the guard duck is back! :-)
July 10th, 2009 at 2:18 am
FW: I have no idea what’s going on, but it feels even more deliciously terrible that way. With this much random setup, you can just feel the planet-sized chunk of shit getting ready to impact the Cosmic Fan. Somebody has a date with ol’ Masky. Or worse. Either way, there will be smirking.
July 10th, 2009 at 3:00 am
The 10th, or the day Mary Worth does The Hustle:
MW: This isn’t her usual excess of meddling — this is Xtreme Meddling.
666CL: I believe the jig is up, Imposter God.
BBlues: Moments of Household Terror #123 — Finding out your strip has become Marvin.
ReFOOB: “…then ignore your new kid because she was a mistake (she has to be a mistake, El), favor Lizzie and especially Mike. And you simply must believe some thug girl thief instead of your by-then-teenage girl. Remember, Ellie: she will be the only sympathetic Patterson by the 21st century, so this treatment is needed to put her in her place.”
FW: Wha’, wha’, wha’??!!! (apologies to Capt. Binghamton)
GF: Man, next time your son asks you to watch his pets while he’s gone (or escapes), just say ‘NO’!
MT: Trail is an equal opportunity impertinence-spouter, male or female.
NS: Please, Mr. Wiley, I’m using up all my “What??”s on Funky W this week, ‘kay?
Popeye: And you two were sad about Olive “dying”… WHY?
PCity: I hate to have to say this, but even Wiley’s blatant allegories are better conceived than this. The press conference idea was a huge misstep.
July 10th, 2009 at 4:51 am
A-3G: I’d like to see this story paralleled by Lu Ann meeting some kind of South Dakotan guru. Perhaps a wise old Lakota shaman who’ll explain about invasive plant species.
Bizarro: This is a tough one. He doesn’t have it on his blog yet. I notice the alien pictures on the wall. So I’m guessing normally the man would follow the trail of discarded clothing and throw himself out of the window in search of the naked woman, but today he’s going to get a surprise. Instead of falling 15 storeys on top of a naked woman, he’s going to get eaten by an alien disguised as a window.
It seems far-fetched, but it’s the best I can come up with.
FW: This poor girl is just about to be introduced to “trombone sound effects”. Only now has she become strong enough.
MT: I wonder if I could buy an original of that third panel. I’d like to have it framed and labelled “Moon Illusion Over Tiny Town”.
MW: This is getting off to such a good start, I wonder if they can keep the standard up without getting bogged down somewhere. Clearly a drunken drive off a cliff will not be sufficient punishment for this bargain-basement Erroll Flynn. He has to come to some really spectacular end.
July 10th, 2009 at 6:25 am
A3-G: “Just about a year ago, I set out on the road…”
Bizarro: Am I missing something? He’s excited to find discarded clothing? I think the implication is that someone has stripped and jumped out the open window, but wouldn’t he have seen the corpse when he was outside?
‘bean: I wonder how many times a family member being out of the house has foiled one of these “shoots family, self” things. I mean, besides Baldo.
Sophie, quickly shuffled aside!: OK, so it is a man that Neddie’s bringing home. It’s got to be Cedric, or someone we haven’t seen yet.
Id: I think this one was written to be reproduced in textbooks when discussing “feudalism”.
July 10th, 2009 at 6:41 am
A3G: Even the Dalai Lama looks like Alan.
July 10th, 2009 at 6:57 am
JP: Oh HELLS yeah, it’s gotta be Cedric!
Candorville: Even with the overhype, this was a very sweet tribute this week.
Big Nate: So, is he going or not?!?
Baldo: The More You Know….. *ding ding ding*
MT: Let’s get to the Mobsters, already!
S-M: I’m still going with the “Spiderman and Wolverine are exes who broke up awkwardly”. NEXT: Best polyamourous relationship EVAH!
July 10th, 2009 at 6:57 am
apparently the gil thorp office is investing more time and money in reverse lettering than in actual story.
July 10th, 2009 at 7:34 am
A3G: Lodi: “Everyone is helpful, everyone is kind/On the road to Dharamsala…”
Slylock (”Your Drawing”): Hey, Wolverine, does Frankie P. have a girl for you!
MW: Full-contact meddle! Mary’s just pissed Charley has kept her from mentioning Lawrence since Sunday.
MT: “Oh, screw the drums. Can’t you see the moon’s going nova?”
July 10th, 2009 at 7:40 am
I haven’t even finished reading my chron page, I had to stop.
My Cage – Ed Power, Melissa deJesus, THAT was freaking HILARIOUS! Win and Internets and all that stuff! Excellent job with the set-up and the follow-through!
Ahhh, nice to see quality…
July 10th, 2009 at 7:44 am
…followed immediately by a great Pearls Before Swine (PBS), though the setup was a bit long. The payoff, however, was perfectly timed.
July 10th, 2009 at 7:51 am
#138 bats :[ – I laughed all the way to work (well, on and off) thinking about Mary Worth saying the words, “Fuck you, Charley!” Good stuff, that!
MT – That bird really likes word balloons. Probably uses them for nests or something.
July 10th, 2009 at 7:56 am
S-M, panel 2: Where’s the “BLAM”? I was expecting a “BLAM”.
July 10th, 2009 at 8:05 am
Brewster Rockit: And, in one artful strip, Tim Rickard makes more of a point about religion than Brooke McEldowney has been able to do in four weeks of bloviation.
July 10th, 2009 at 8:06 am
Bizarro: It looks like there is a hypodermic needle on the couch cushion — does that make it make more sense or less?
July 10th, 2009 at 8:06 am
I rather like this version of Wolverine, part of a nifty little series there.
July 10th, 2009 at 8:13 am
Mary Worth: Charlie is my hero. I don’t care whether his ex-wife divorced him because she caught him having orgies with belly dancers and donkeys. I don’t care whether he turns out to be a serial killer with ten bodies in his basement. He’s my hero because he is immune to Mary’s meddling powers! He cheated on his wife and instead of being reduced to a remorseful puddle by Mary, he is positively swaggering around Charterstone.
Pearls Before Swine: I didn’t like the Guard Duck character at first, but he has grown on me and today he has come into his own! What a grand re-entrance!
Judge Parker: Unless Cedric has got divorced, if it is him, I see there being real problems with Neddy turning up with him if that’s what she does. No, it’s got to be someone else. Will he be French or will it be an American student that she met at that art school? How much time in ‘real life’ is a week in Judge Parker time, anyway? Ten years? Two centuries?
Funky Winkerbean So what is it this time? Can’t Batuik ever let any of his characters have a happy existence? Can’t he just let one character walk unscathed into the sunset? The only thing that keeps me reading this strip is a sort of ghastly gruesome fascination of what he will do to some character.
July 10th, 2009 at 8:20 am
You show me one gag strip today that’s as funny as the second panel of MW. Go on. I double dare you.
July 10th, 2009 at 8:21 am
Baldo: Wow, that’s the most ham-fisted segue into a PSA I’ve ever seen.
July 10th, 2009 at 8:23 am
FW: So Becky has to ring the doorbell before entering her own house? Andy why does she have a trombone? I expected this to get more and more depressing, as is usual for FW, but it’s just getting more and more confusing, which is more consistent with DT. I smell a crossover!
MW: Now that Mary has nearly jerked Delilah’s arm right off to get her away from Charley, I look forward to Mary’s 2-week-long lecture on why one must never ever speak civilly to one’s ex because exchanging pleasantries can only lead to cheating on one’s husband.
July 10th, 2009 at 8:31 am
MW – Panel 2 choreography by Busby Berkeley.
July 10th, 2009 at 8:42 am
Ed Crankshaft, starring in the comic adaptation of Morning Deliveries.
July 10th, 2009 at 9:02 am
A3G: “Oh Lord, stuck in Lodi again….”
July 10th, 2009 at 9:21 am
FW: Why does the one-armed woman carrying a trombone have to ring the doorbell to her own house?
HOW does the one-armed woman carrying a trombone ring the doorbell to her own house?
July 10th, 2009 at 9:21 am
SM: So it appears that Wolverine has been taking lessons in “how to pick up women” from Charlie Smith—at least, Lesson 1: The Creepy Leer.
JP: “Are Rocky & Godiva coming home with us? Can we keep them? Huh? Can we?” “I don’t know, Sophie; I’m not sure you have time to care for celebrity pets right now.”
MW: Mary’s usual arsenal of platitudes, half-baked advice, nagging, nostalgia, and casseroles is insufficient against the wave of lust washing over Delilah and Charlie. Sterile, dried-up biddy-ness vs. youthful, panting desire: Your desperation is understandable, Mary, but it’s still a bit pathetic. You’re the Queen of the Meddle; have a little dignity, for godssake.
July 10th, 2009 at 9:35 am
MT 7/10 – Since the slutty corporate queen’s brother has no discernable facial hair, Mark has to take precautions. He decides to go with his Pocket Sense-o-Square (patent pending). Starts out white, turns blue upon its wearer’s contact with evil. Bingo! Fists o’ Fury do your stuff!
July 10th, 2009 at 9:39 am
…or Fist o’ Justice. Either way.
July 10th, 2009 at 9:43 am
A3G – If Margo makes some hilariously cutting remark about the Dalai Lama, I promise I will swear fealty to Margaret Shulock forevermore.
Blondie – Today’s strip guest-written by Herb and Jamaal.
Crankshaft – is determined to ruin his “friend’s” business, presumably for daring to ask him to fill in.
FC – Billy prefers his food in more advanced stages of the reproductive process.
FW – What the hell is up with Rana’s left leg? It looks like the hip joint has been entirely removed from the socket. Actually, that’s probably what happened, since it would mean continual suffering and limited mobility for years to come.
GA – That is not what the phrase “a cinch” means and you are not allowed to use it that way in the service of a storyline this pathetic.
GT – Looks like Comic John has decided to abandon Funky Winkerbean and start a new life as a poverty-stricken youth in Gil Thorp. Bravo, sir. You’re moving up in the world.
JP – OH MY GOD IT’S CEDRIC IT’S CEDRIC
Love Is… – a visual metaphor for genital hygiene.
MW – Okay, so far this storyline has, every day, had me thinking “all right, it couldn’t possibly get better than this,” and then it does. Today’s strip, with Mary literally yanking her latest meddlee away from the other person who’s shown ability to manipulate her, seems like a hilarious high point, but who knows, maybe it could get better. My favorite bit is Delilah’s outstretched hand and “I’ll see you later;” don’t count on it, missy! Mary’s going to take you straight to the tower and lock you away until Prince Lawrence shows up to reclaim her. The question is, which is the dragon, Mary or Charley?
MC – Maureen, please accept my eternal gratitude for taking proactive steps to make Norm get the hell over it. You’re a wonderful lady, for a gold-digging
nannymom.PC – This is getting…weird.
Popeye – Just leave her there.
July 10th, 2009 at 9:51 am
FW – I think I know why John is so happy to see Becky – she’s offering him a rusty trombone.
There, I said it.
July 10th, 2009 at 9:52 am
7/10
Archie: You know, I’m no golfer, but I’m pretty sure it and baseball are two different sports. Sorry Archie, but you’re a little late to try out for the Milford Mudlarks.
MW: Oh my stars and garters. We are beyond meddling now. We’re beyond mind games. Mary will have to go back to basics on this one. I see her hitting Delilah on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper. “Bad tramp, bad! Now you go back to the old guy you’ve been married to since you were 15!”
Popeye: Olive just tore up half the rock that’s keeoing her from the ocean floor in order to shoo away the only people in sight with any kind of floating vessel. But that’s the Popeye cast for you. Always raising the bar on stupid.
S-M: “I ain’t Peter, Red. But I got a peter. It’s eager to do business with ya.”
FW: Thank God. I thought it was Ed Crankshaft at the door, come to offer the daughter a complimentary creamsicle.
PBS: Nice to see Guard Duck requiisitioned his groove back.
Cathy: It looks like Cathy is about to help this man get his vacation started with a prostate exam.
H&J: Herb also got the first word, unless you count Woodstock-speak.
MT: One of these men is a foot taller than the other one. Do you know which it is? Jack Elrod doesn’t!
July 10th, 2009 at 9:54 am
I, for one, wish the old jerk would finally get up the nerve to pick up those two underage hookers and take them to the back of the truck for a sticky threesome of chocolate sauce, crushed nuts and heavenly hash.
July 10th, 2009 at 9:58 am
Ed and Melissa-you are full of awesomeness!
July 10th, 2009 at 10:01 am
#168 commodorejohn,
In Ramona Lisa’s defense, I think what she means is it’s easy (aka “a cinch”) to see that they can’t steal anything. Not that Gasoline Alley doesn’t bring the stupid on a daily basis, but the ancient slang seems pretty solid.
July 10th, 2009 at 10:03 am
FW: Didn’t Wally play the trombone back in high school? She must still have Wally’s belongings in storage.
July 10th, 2009 at 10:07 am
168. commodorejohn, on My Cage: Yup, sadly, for some of us, that’s pretty much what it takes. Very sadly, I can’t say anything about it, as the strip, hilarious as it is, hits rather close to home. (And since everything happens to me about ten years later than most people, I get the creepy/pathetic factor added in. Norm at least still has chances.)
July 10th, 2009 at 10:14 am
FW: I’m glad you’re home. I … I couldn’t tell her about the trombone myself.
Really, let’s recall that Batiuk said the Oct. 11, 2007, strip had a clue about Wally. Les gets mugged, there’s a newspaper box and the headline says soldiers have been taken hostage.
http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20071011&name=Funky_Winkerbean
What I’m thinking here is they’ve received some news. I’m guessing Wally’s alive, and while that’s good news, it’s throwing off this nuclear family, a la Helen Hunt in “Cast Away.”
FWIW, Batiuk played the trombone in his high school band, according to the official web site.
Another disturbing thought, unrelated to the trombone. Have they discovered that Rana has man parts? See panel 1.
July 10th, 2009 at 10:23 am
#155 “Mel”,
I’m baffled myself. It looks like his girlfriend took off all her clothes, shot heroin, and jumped out the window. This is more the stuff of old Dragnet episodes than gag-a-day comics.
July 10th, 2009 at 10:25 am
OUCH! OUCH! OUCH!
This is the sound my brain makes after that Mary Worth-your-while Something Positive link. Thank you, Josh.
July 10th, 2009 at 10:27 am
Also, WTF is up with Phantom? Why is he wearing his jeans, leather jacket, fedora ‘n shades “disguise” over his purple superhero suit? It confuses me and hides his ass. No like.
July 10th, 2009 at 10:34 am
7/10:
Bizarro: FYI, that’s not a hypodermic, that’s a firecracker or stick of dynamite. It’s one of the objects that always turn up in Bizarro.
My take on it is, she committed suicide jumping out the window naked (but why?), but until he sees where the trail of clothing leads, he thinks he’s gonna get some.
Crankshaft: Get enough of that warming ice cream on yourself, Ed, and you’ll stick to the freeways, all right!
Doonesbury: Obviously, Alex needs Mary Worth as a grandmother. She’ll give you drama, young lady!
FW: I didn’t notice at first on the Chron page, but when I got the paper paper [sic] this morning and looked, I realized it looks like Rana has a bulge in her pants. At the crotch. Geez, Batiuk, first the camel-toe on yesterday’s Crankshaft barely-legal teens, now this? Will this be the next Big Surprise of the Winkerverse?
Heathcliff: Does Gallagher know the other meanings of the word “scat” when he writes this?
Luann: Bernice is calling attention to how much skin Tiffany’s showing, just in case we hadn’t noticed.
MT: Is that really supposed to be a meadowlark? That’s just wrong!
MW: Oh, Artist formerly known as Ben is giving me ideas! Perhaps Mary will insist that Delilah gets a “tramp stamp”, to show her character! Or, Delilah will turn out to already have one, confirming what Mary already knows to be true.
Momma: Considering the relationship they have, I’d think the four-miles thing would be icing on the cake.
MGG: I’m not sure if it’s the switch of apparent gender or species that’s more disturbing here. But, hey, Kilmeade pointed out on Fox News the other morning that “We keep marrying other species and other ethnics—”, so I guess anything goes, right?
MC: In most comic strips, I’d be expecting this to lead to Maureen suddenly discovering her feelings for Norm, or something like that. Here, not so much. Thank you!
PBS: He’s back from Paris!
RMMW: Should’ve been phrased as “Dammit, lady, I’m an RN, not a food server!” And then she’d hit her with the phaser, and bemoan the state of this primitive 21st-century medicine.
July 10th, 2009 at 10:39 am
@Comics Fan (or Comcis Fan sic?) #176: Thank you! I was worried it might be just me seeing that there! Hadn’t seen your post yet while typing up my lengthy diatribe.
July 10th, 2009 at 10:49 am
Crankshaft – Well, when you dress like that, it’s like yer askin for it!
July 10th, 2009 at 10:52 am
#155 Mel AKA “Mel”, #177 Artist formerly known as Ben – It’s not a needle, it’s one of Piraro’s trademark visuals, the lit stick of dynamite that’s in every panel. Which makes this just utterly inscrutable, rather than tragic. I think.
#180 KarMann re: FW – Nah, that can’t be it. It’d be surprising and edgy, not predictably morbid, and we all know which side of that equation Batiuk falls on.
July 10th, 2009 at 10:58 am
Okay, unrelated to the post, but I had to share. An unknown illustrator did the titles of newspaper strips as if they were heavy metal logos. Most of them are random, but the Mary Worth one in the lower left corner is chillingly accurate. This is probably how Mary will sign the body when she finally snaps and kills Delilah, the philandering hussy.
July 10th, 2009 at 11:03 am
I thought #176 at the end there said ‘Ranma’ at first, which sort of made sense but I didn’t get the FW connection.
July 10th, 2009 at 11:19 am
Baldo: Oww, I just got hit hit over the head with a Very Special Episode.
FW: And at long last, the strip has devolved into random scenes of resigned despair. It’s about time.
reFOOB: “That is, after all, the only reason women exist…”
MW: Going by the way Mary’s hustling Delilah out of there, I can only assume Charley is about to self-destruct in a Bay-ian style explosion.
July 10th, 2009 at 11:27 am
It’s ironic that Gil Thorp is the first serial comic to come out and say, “The years do run together, don’t they,” because it’s the only serial where the years DON’T run together. New sports seasons always bring new story lines like clockwork. You can use past Gil Thorp story lines like a calendar. When was my daughter born? I think it was when Coach Thorp was trying to convince Brent Raptor’s mom to let him go to college. Oh yeah, spring baseball season 2006!
Now, Apt. 3G… there’s a strip that should state “The years do run together, don’t they?” in a narration box at least once a week.
July 10th, 2009 at 11:30 am
9CL – Ha ha, God’s a putz. Did I say ha ha? I meant ho hum.
Archie – Let’s at least acknowledge that this artist draws action and hands way better than the guy at Dick Tracy. That, to coin a phrase, should count for something!
Bizarro – This is simultaneously amusing and depressing. The dynamite stick confuses the issue and should be in one of the frames, if anywhere. What really made this for me was the fact that in my line-up, the word “Blondie” appears right below the panel, and I thought for a moment that Blondie had taken an air walk.
Cshaft – …he was picking up little kids every five minutes? It’s time for an intervention. Didn’t he say he had a friend?
MTrail – Heh heh… nobody ever suspects the Spotty Vested Peewit!
note: all bird identifications bogus
My Cage – Thumbs up! Well done.
R=R – I was still chuckling over another Rhymes with Orange when I looked, and for a moment, it felt like I was chuckling at Rose is Rose. It made me feel dirty. The bad kind.
July 10th, 2009 at 11:32 am
Red Greenback @133 – Thanks! I was unduly proud of that one.
[Credit where due: about a dozen of those came from Viz, National Lampoon, "Beavis & Butthead," Tom Waits, and the Public Domain. Footnotes in the actual entry would have spoiled the spartan perfection of the presentation.]
Baka Gaijin @136 – I used to imagine a TV spot where Robert “Marcus Welby, MD” Young would be a guest at Tucker Inn, and when Sarah sees him, she’d look a little guilty, and he’d say, “Why, Sarah Tucker, you look AWFUL! Don’t tell me you’re still using that fake whipped cream!”
Old School Allie Cat @169 – You deserve a garage full of prizes for that.
PS – Watch for “MGM Parade Show #19″ on Turner Classic Movies. I had it on while doing other stuff last night, and was suddenly snapped to attention on hearing the name of Winsor McCay. It turns out part of the 25-minute short, about five minutes worth, was devoted to cartoonists! I got to see Raeburn Van Buren drawing Bathless Groggins, Chic Young drawing Dagwood, Harold Gray drawing Little Orphan Annie, Al Capp drawing Li’l Abner, Ham Fisher pretending to draw Joe Palooka, and more. I have no idea when it will be on again.
July 10th, 2009 at 11:49 am
MW: “Hurry now, Delilah, we are running late for your burqa fitting.”
July 10th, 2009 at 11:56 am
MW: Quick! To the chastity belt!!
Phantom: Uh… the writer IS going to tell us, at some point, what this guy has done to piss off the Ghost-Who-Overdresses, right? ‘Cause right now it’s an enigma wrapped in a snooze.
MT: I believe that Western Meadowlark is in “blanch” mode, which is why the colors have faded. Someone, as Mark makes clear, is gonna get punched — and he’s been left holding the jackelrod ball.
(I was once left holding the jackelrod ball myself. Long story.)
RwO: This is nice, but once again xkcd has done it better. “Fun game: Find which combination of ordinary items will most freak out the grocery store cashier.” I believe the winner, at least so far, was a single coat hanger and a home pregnancy test.
July 10th, 2009 at 11:59 am
FW: A guess: The grave Becky visited is home to a coffin containing a few sandbags for weight, as Wally was declared MIA, presumed dead. (Has anyone ever remarked this is the SECOND time Wally has gone MIA &/or been captured? Only in the Funkyverse could one soldier be that effin’ unlucky.) Now a few bone fragments & teeth have been found in Iraq & the Army wants to ID them. Wally’s blood relatives won’t cooperate by giving DNA samples (Funky is too nihilistic to contribute to another human’s need for “closure,” & he probably also has power of attorney to prevent anyone from taking a sample from his Alzheimer’s-addled father). So Becky is going to resort to swabbing the decade-old residue from the trombone’s spit valve in hopes of salvaging viable DNA…
July 10th, 2009 at 12:00 pm
That was http://xkcd.com/236. By the way.
July 10th, 2009 at 12:05 pm
FW: Perhaps Wally has survived his capture, contracted cancer, and while his captors won’t release him, they have, in fit of humanitarian almost-good will, summoned for his trombone, at his request.
July 10th, 2009 at 12:07 pm
MW: I see that Mary is familiar with the old aphorism, “When passive-aggressive fails, you just gotta yank a skank.”
July 10th, 2009 at 12:08 pm
Elizabeth Barret Browning is looking slightly bearded in today’s Brevity. The joke is that men aren’t naturally able to write romantic poetry, so the first version must have been more crude — since obviously all poets were men.
Which is part of the reason that today’s Sally Forth is such pure genius. Hahahaha! “The glass ceiling: a reflection on so many pretty faces” I actually laughed out loud.
And if any of those pretty faces actually manage to break through the glass ceiling, they can expect to be forgotten or ignored as soon as it is convenient and mis-remembered as men, as in today’s Brevity.
July 10th, 2009 at 12:10 pm
MW – In the first panel, it’s nice to see the characters in Mary Worth engaged in a spirited game of “Red Rover”.
July 10th, 2009 at 12:12 pm
FW: Or perhaps Becky & John have decided Rana is old enough for “The Talk” & resurrected the trombone to engage in Peanuts-like wah-wah-wah parental speak.
Or Rana has expressed an interest in taking up the trombine (which will inevitably lead to lip cancer & a lingering, painful death — unless, in a grisly crossover, she ends up in the back of Yankshaft’s ice cream truck w/the rigid corpses of the 2 teen streetwalkers from yesterday’s strip).
July 10th, 2009 at 12:31 pm
#191 – Either the Chastity Belt, or the Full Iron Suit.
Damn, Mary is agitated. It’s Xanax and tea time for sure.
Poor Delilah may never see sunlight again.
July 10th, 2009 at 12:43 pm
Anyone besides me read Mandrake the Magician? It’s on the Time Union of Albany, NY site. The story has gone from being a snoozefest about Mandrake the Meathead vs the Blundering Bandits to being about a dystopian future surveillance state of frightening proportions. Not only does this state, in 6009, watch everything that happens then, but it has the power to watch everything that has happened in the past. I can understand the Tourist wanting to escape, but where can he hide?
July 10th, 2009 at 12:53 pm
MC – joining the chorus of praise for today’s strip. Wow…a complex character who can feel caring, but not love; act on what she’s feeling, and (we hope) do some good. Batiuk, Lynn et al, look and learn.
July 10th, 2009 at 12:55 pm
Well, I never really hoped to see Sociology Girl again, so this isn’t a crushing blow. Nor can it be Cedric. My next hope is a beatnik art student, the son of Algerian expats, nihilist to the core and Neddy’s gateway to the demi-monde. She’ll come home in a headscarf, shades, and the scent of unfiltered Gauloises. The $2m pad in the 17th is now a terrorist cell. Neddy always did have a little bit of hell in her.
Meanwhile, Cedric, cast out, lurks the boulevards in full butler drag, offing punks and looking for a way to restore Neddy to the Bourgeoisie.
July 10th, 2009 at 1:01 pm
MW — Delilah, this is why you should have opted for a cheap motel in the first place. You’d now be moving into Charlie’s place for a month of fun fun fun, with no one giving you icy glares and yanking your arm out of your shoulder.
July 10th, 2009 at 1:06 pm
Yes, MY CAGE and PBS are wonderful today. I’m now following half a dozen interesting strips that I would never have known about if not for CC. Yay.
July 10th, 2009 at 1:07 pm
203 Poteet: Ah, but there’s the dilemma: Does a month in a motel with Charlie really sound like “fun fun fun”? So now Delilah is stuck between a rock and hard place (so to speak), choosing between Mary and Charlie. If those were my two current options, I’d choose—well, Lawrence, I guess. Or suicide.
(Of course, in the Worthian universe, the option to simply move out on one’s own and live independently does not exist.)
July 10th, 2009 at 1:07 pm
60: Last time we saw Carlos in MW was in 2001 when he was dealing with Ian’s bossypants sister.
99: Yes, it was. In 2003, Roland Spencer was planning for 5 rockets to go off at the stadium during prom and to land a hot air balloon in the middle of the field.
Here’s the strip where Roland picks up Neddy:
http://ab8.thebeaconjournal.com/Archives/03-16-03/X4.pdf
The strip where Sam & Abbey see the hot air balloon: (Roland promised they would not go up no more than 50 feet but he lied)
http://ab8.thebeaconjournal.com/Archives/03-30-03/X4.pdf
The strip where Sam & Abbey discover who’s in the balloon:
http://ab8.thebeaconjournal.com/Archives/04-20-03/X4.pdf
And the strips where they make their landing.
http://ab8.thebeaconjournal.com/Archives/04-21-03/E5.pdf
http://ab8.thebeaconjournal.com/Archives/04-22–03/E7.pdf
http://ab8.thebeaconjournal.com/Archives/04-23-03/E9.pdf
http://ab8.thebeaconjournal.com/Archives/04-24-03/E5.pdf
http://ab8.thebeaconjournal.com/Archives/04-25-03/E9.pdf
http://ab8.thebeaconjournal.com/Archives/04-26-03/E11.pdf
http://ab8.thebeaconjournal.com/Archives/04-27-03/X4.pdf
http://ab8.thebeaconjournal.com/Archives/04-28-03/E5.pdf
(Note: JP is on the bottom on Sunday’s, and the 4th from the bottom on weekdays.)
July 10th, 2009 at 1:08 pm
200 Piper Gray:
I read Mandrake on the King Features site until I got fed up with the 2-week time lag. Maybe I’ll have to take it up again.
“Mandrake gestures hypnotically.” It’s a good thing The Meddler never learned that skill or we’d all be zombies.
July 10th, 2009 at 1:09 pm
Man, I sure hope Doctor Jeff is planning to just sit this entire episode out. Mary’s about ready to start throwing things. If Jeff even thinks something like “C’mon, Mary, I’ll take you to the Bum Boat; it’ll cheer you up!” with one of those balloony-puffy thought bubbles, I suspect he’s gonna get one of those fish-on-a-plaque things decorating the Bum Boat permanently embedded in his face.
July 10th, 2009 at 1:33 pm
206 P:
That wasn’t Indian geek-boy Raju, it was an earlier episode. Nonetheless, it’s great stuff. Barreto’s terrific, but the old Harold Ledoux style with its anachonistic fashions and sensibilites fits the loopiness of the Spencerverse better. What were they all doing in tuxedos and ruffled shirts in a high school football stadium anyway?
July 10th, 2009 at 2:02 pm
#192 mvg – “Has anyone ever remarked this is the SECOND time Wally has gone MIA &/or been captured?”
The only reason I’ve never remarked on it is because it’s so stupid I couldn’t even acknowledge it.
I like your DNA theory though – that would also tip us off that Wally’s son isn’t really his, since Becky knows she needs the trombone. I look for a smirky joke involving spit valves.
July 10th, 2009 at 2:35 pm
Y206 P: Extra bonus on the old JP strips: Further up the page, there are old FW’s with the original John/Becky budding romance story that’s about to blow up post-jump.
July 10th, 2009 at 2:36 pm
#198 LOL re the wah-wah-wah trombone talk.
#210. Wait. Wally has a son?
July 10th, 2009 at 2:44 pm
206: Since you have the answers, what ever became of Neddy’s original teen flame, the Spencer Farms stableboy w/3 nickel-sized “freckles” on each cheek? (If it were the Funkyverse, of course, they’d be precancerous lesions, so there’s an out for the writers if he never reappears.)
July 10th, 2009 at 3:18 pm
gdb –
Hey, you can get Mandrake at the Albany Times-Union. And big!
Also, they’re reconning their way out of one of those signature “time travel is stupid” arcs, so new stuff soon!
July 10th, 2009 at 4:00 pm
#212 – Yep, Wally Jr. I dunno if he’s been seen since shortly after the last time jump. I try not to read the strip too often, for my own sanity.
July 11th, 2009 at 12:01 am
H&L (7/9): Yes, Ditto, if *we* had to be marinated in copious amounts of whiskey just to get through the treacle your mom just finished spouting, by God you have to suffer with the rest of us too!
(Apologies, btw, for rarely posting in the past months, just have time lately to lurk. Reading the 7/9 H&L brought my inner curmudgeon out with a vengeance though.)
July 11th, 2009 at 8:39 pm
JP – The Adventures of Sophie the Cheerleader? I think it’s time for a new writer!
July 11th, 2009 at 8:43 pm
S Forth – Ted and Aria? Any time this strip comes up with an interesting story line, they drop it really quick.
September 7th, 2009 at 4:10 am
I recently came across your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I don’t know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often.
Susan
http://sketchingdrawing.com