One-panel mondays
Ziggy, 7/13/09
There’s plenty to love about today’s Ziggy — the terrifying demon-clown that’s popped out of the suggestion box, for instance, or the fact that Ziggy appears to be suffering a massive coronary upon seeing it, or the nameless bureaucrat watching it all with pinched, sadistic glee. (I was about to refer to this individual as “Ziggy’s boss,” since I initially thought that this was some sort of office scene, but I don’t think that can be right; Ziggy has never really been depicted as holding down any sort of job, which makes sense, as he appears to be pretty much unemployable.)
One thing I don’t like about this panel, though, is that we’re confronted with the bottom of Ziggy’s feet. Now, obviously the less time spent thinking about what goes on below Ziggy’s waist the better, but I think we’re all pretty much in agreement on the fact that he regularly goes about pantsless and, apparently, shoeless. The absence of discernible toes puts something of a dent in that theory, but one could always write that off due to the low level of detail in the strip; but the shading work on the soles of Ziggy’s feet today force us to contemplate what exactly the hell it is we’re looking at. My best guess is that what we call “feet” are actually enormous, uncloven hooves, making Ziggy some kind of bipedal semi-centaur. Ha ha, and you thought that Ziggy’s biology couldn’t get any more disturbing than your existing conception of it! On the bright side, though, the feet/hooves are large enough that we don’t get a good view up Ziggy’s smock, which is a blessing.
Family Circus, 7/13/09
The best little part of this cartoon is the sly little smile on Dolly’s face. “Wow, Billy, before this moment I always thought that male supremacy was an immutable fact of nature; but now I know that it has to be reinforced daily with displays of authority great and small. This knowledge will come in handy in my quest to smash the patriarchy!”
Slylock Fox, 7/13/09
“Laughing potion” is a powerful toxin that gets its name for its effects on the victim’s musculature. First the muscles of the face involuntarily contract, spreading the mouth into a ghastly parody of a grin; then the diaphragm spasms uncontrollably, causing a series of short, laugh-like bursts of air before total paralysis and suffocation set in. Slylock will determine which glass contains the potion by giving Max a sip from each one until he drops dead.
Pluggers, 7/13/09
It takes all the wiles of the pharmaceutical industry just to keep pluggers alive.
July 13th, 2009 at 11:19 am
Hmm… congestive heart failure and I take eight pills a day now. When did I become a plugger?
July 13th, 2009 at 11:19 am
So…..Wally. Ghost? Vampire? Shambling uniformed zombie?
July 13th, 2009 at 11:21 am
Ziggy has the same kind of feet as Gumby. They may be related species.
Although you wrote ‘bipdeal’, I understood ‘bipedal’ but ‘bipdeal’ sort of fits in the Ziggyverse.
July 13th, 2009 at 11:24 am
Repost from ythread:
FC: Do it Dolly, show him how much of a bitch you really are!
July 13th, 2009 at 11:27 am
Oh. Fake ice. Of course. What a Macguffin.
July 13th, 2009 at 11:27 am
And wouldn’t such a creature be more along the lines of a faun? And now we are in that kooky Nijinsky place.
July 13th, 2009 at 11:27 am
Dolly’s just putting a brave face on the fact that Billy has spoiled her carefully laid plan by letting her know that “the guys are watching.”
July 13th, 2009 at 11:31 am
That’s really a faux-taunt from Billy. He is a master of reverse-psychology here. “Oh, don’t go any higher, Dolly! Oh no! You’ll out-do me! You’ll show the neighborhood just how high you can climb! You are so much braver than me to get on that reed-thin branch 60 feet above jagged rocks! I can’t stand it, sis! Oh, my! Please don’t go any farther, it’s making me look bad!”
Crack!
Dolly: “Aaaaghgh.. ” splat!
Billy: “I told ya not to. Don’t you listen?”
July 13th, 2009 at 11:31 am
Anyone who’s ever smelled hoof clippings will probably nod thoughtfully at this point and think, “Ah, yes, it makes perfect sense! That’s what Ziggy would smell like, sure enough. That would definitely be the Zigster’s signature aroma.”
July 13th, 2009 at 11:32 am
JP: Gee, we’re on to a new story and we never got to see Godiva mount the horse Rocky was getting for her.
FW: Please be a spectral manifestation that arose on the anniversary of Wally’s disappearance…or a real life Wally finally getting around to dropping off the divorce papers and the criminal bigamy charges.
Ziggy: WTF?
July 13th, 2009 at 11:33 am
No mention of the most hideous single panel strip of the day? So hideous that Batiuk ran the same strip two days in a row to maximize the effect.
Maybe Becky picked up a monkey paw somewhere..
July 13th, 2009 at 11:33 am
What if Wanda Witch put real ice in with the laughing potion? Slylock would be so screwed.
July 13th, 2009 at 11:33 am
Funky W. is now being brought to you by Pete Townsend.
And Blondie brings passive-aggressiveness to a whole new level. It almost outdoes FOOB.
Happy Anniversary Josh and CC!
July 13th, 2009 at 11:35 am
I always pictured Ziggy as having cloven hooves.
July 13th, 2009 at 11:35 am
From now on my answer to all the Slylock puzzles is going to be “The hell with logic! A witch did it!”
July 13th, 2009 at 11:39 am
Ziggy. — Suction cups. Those feet are comprised of suction cups. This is validated by the fact that we commonly hear the phrase “Ziggy sucks” uttered by highly intelligent people. What gives me pause is that our pal the Z man is evidently not the suggestion-maker, but rather the suggestion-reader, based on the fact that presumably the spring-clown was released upon the lid of the box being opened (as opposed to when a suggestion would be slipped into the box). I suppose it’s none of our business if Ziggy wants to maintain a suggestion box at home so that strangers can stroll in and tell him how to alter his behavior; but what surprises me is that the box only contained two suggestions.
July 13th, 2009 at 11:41 am
Here’s a bit of a Ziggy/Gordon Ramsay crossover (very funny, IMO):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ZIXEXqSdtw
I just love Jean-Phillipe, GR’s Maitre-d.
July 13th, 2009 at 11:42 am
Judge Parker: April’s back in town and Neddy will be soon. We deserve this after enduring the seemingly endless cheerleading story liine.
July 13th, 2009 at 11:48 am
There’s no such thing as “a good view up Ziggy’s smock”; such a view would be very, very far from good.
July 13th, 2009 at 11:48 am
Aha! Ziggy isn’t pantsless or shoesless at all – he just wears waders all the time. Like Sarah Palin.
July 13th, 2009 at 11:52 am
Had to make a command decision and cut out Sunday completely, because I’m doing the single dad thing here. It’s not what you think! My wife’s in Chicago. Uh-HUH. There is TOO such a place! Belated congrats on the five-year bit, by the way.
DTracy – “Whatever I explain to you twenty times is cunning. Take my word for it. Take my word for it. Take my word for it. Take my…”
HtHorrible – Screw the inappropriate dialog. I want to see the next panel, with their lifeless ashen corpses smoldering. One of the enemy guys can say something inappropriate then, like “Uh oh, I think I left the keys in the car!”
H&Jamaal – You have three seconds to clench tightly, Herb. Use them.
MTrail – “I’ll show you YOURS!” Mark is still having problems with that human interaction thing.
Popeye – “Boodle of the Sierra Madre” continues.
SFox – A potion and fake ice? Why not just a potion and a full-sized rubber duck? Are we supposed to be able to see the difference between a sweaty glass and a non-sweaty glass at this miniscule size? Wanda the Witch has really gone downhill since that 1960s ad campaign she was in.
peeing is rape! – Years ago, a friend wanted to end one of those Warner Brothers spot gag cartoons where the dog is really excited to see the trees he’s been heading for all through the picture with a scene of the dog jumping on a tree and humping away. It’s an image that, after all this time, won’t leave me.
commodorejohn @y65 – You forgot “V” and “five.” (Yes, you did, by not pointing it out. Uh HUH!)
Josh supra – And why are they working so hard to keep pluggers alive, anyway? (ps: Happy Cinco de Josho! I celebrated yesterday by finally, after four years away from Plaza Azteca in Newport News, finding a place with Tacos de Chorizo.)
July 13th, 2009 at 11:52 am
Imagine how much better life would be if we let Ziggy’s boss fill all the Pluggers’ pill dispensers!
July 13th, 2009 at 11:54 am
#10 –
You’re thinking “sidesaddle”, of course,
But that’s not the mount I’d endorse
No, I have to contest
That Godiva’d look best
Riding under her fancy new horse.
July 13th, 2009 at 11:55 am
Ziggy: Well, suggestion boxes are for employees, so Ziggy must be employed as something. Wallpaper? Coat rack? Those are two of the non-disgusting possiblities I’ve come up with.
SFx: There’s a rumor going around that the yellow laughing potion is poison. Cool it. It’s not poison. It’s just badly manufactured.
DT: The case is closed. The infodump will go on forever.
FW: Well, happy birthday, Wanda June.
S4th: Teleporter? So finally, we meet Fay’s dad.
BSt: Far Side ripoff? Better than the inane captions about interchangeable oldsters that he usually does.
H&J: The headlines give Jammal that feeling. He needs sexual healing.
S-M: If Stan Lee’s minimum wage ghostwriter has bothered to give Wolverine his usual enhanced senses, he must recognize the husband as Spider-Man. Which should give him a laugh, anyway.
Crock: Aw, they screwed up the joke. It’s supposed to be, “Is that your new cartridge belt, or are you just happy to see me?”
July 13th, 2009 at 11:55 am
Hmmm… I’m sure there’s some joke somewhere about laughing potion and TJ’s rigor mortis smile, but it’s early and Monday, and I can’t quite do it on my own.
July 13th, 2009 at 11:56 am
Luann: And here we have another adventure of the sexless wonder, Brad DeGroot. Yes, Toni, he is feeling frisky, and apparently so are you, rocking those 1990’s soccer mom rolled up jeans. You go.
July 13th, 2009 at 11:57 am
I always thought Ziggy was some kind of alien… perhaps a shapeshifter whose botched attempt at blending in resulted in this bald, featureless, grotesque stump of a human being. With hooves.
July 13th, 2009 at 11:58 am
(If you’re reading, Woody – sorry ’bout that.)
July 13th, 2009 at 12:00 pm
Considering that my existing conception of Ziggy’s biology required that he have some reptilian method of hiding his genitalia when not in use, I still consider semi-centaur to be an improvement, as I can now pretend that the latter half was amputated after the freak accident that has left Ziggy in his quagmire of despair, and therefore that he completely lacks sex organs at this point.
July 13th, 2009 at 12:01 pm
Wolfdog @23 – It’s like they used to tell Catherine the Great, “Screw you and the horse that rode in on you!”
formerly Ben @24 – Vonnegut for the win!
July 13th, 2009 at 12:02 pm
Pluggers: “I have no mouth, but I must speech balloon.”
July 13th, 2009 at 12:04 pm
Pluggers – Myultra-liberal father marched and sat-in for civil rights, is one of the biggest feminists I’ve ever met, smoked a lot of weed (and thinks we should legalize it), and got an earring at the age of 59. He is generally one of the coolest old guys I know. But he definitely does have two “days of the week” pill boxes.
Shit. My dad is a plugger. That means that I am a carrier of the plugger gene. Oh, hell.
FW – It’s called writing, is it, Batuik? Well you already wrote this same plot with the same characters a few years back. It was vaguely inventive then, it’s infuriating now. You want to write? How about writing “I’m a washed up hack and I suck” a hundred times then get back to me.
July 13th, 2009 at 12:04 pm
#3 carbunicle — fixed, but now I gotta figure out how to work the word “bipdeal” into everyday conversation.
Josh
July 13th, 2009 at 12:07 pm
You are also a plugger if you confuse Preparation H for oral medication.
It’s good no one in Slylock Fox has peripheral vision, so they can’t see that sneaky witch behind the tree, right next to the table of lemonade, and make her drink every damn cup until she dies.
Billy, you are living every Curmudgeon’s dream. Less talk, more action. Kick her for all of us, please.
I assumed the bottom of Ziggy’s feet were black from the remnants of his bowels that dislodged under him from this surprise. I also would love to know his suggestion. Every day should be “no pants” day?
July 13th, 2009 at 12:07 pm
Belated congratulations on 5 years, and thanks for all the entertainment! Lurking and soaking up the humor here, from the posts and the comments too, has been great.
Spider-Man, please stop ruining my young teen memories of how cool and borderline-threateningly sexy Wolverine was. A pizza date? The stale ’sorry, I’m…’ joke? More and more Wolvie reminds me of my fixed cat. He’s still going through the motions, but we all know, including him, nothing’s really going to come of it. If he’s still the “best there is at what he does,” apparently “what he does” now is lounge around comfortably in stolen track suits. Which still makes him cooler than Peter, who has failed to even watch TV lately.
July 13th, 2009 at 12:07 pm
I posit that Ziggy is an alien life form, and those are not his “feet”, but his “stuff”. Yup- what we are witnessing here is the full monty of Ziggy’s space-sex apparatus. Tom Wilson has boldly gone where no man has gone before.
Happy 5th, Josh!
July 13th, 2009 at 12:11 pm
It’s obvious that Ziggy is wearing feety-jammies around town.
July 13th, 2009 at 12:12 pm
Dick Tracy 12″ Club Mix – “One Eyed Jack rigged the slots.” “I’ve got a system!” “I’ve got a system!” “Digital thermal.” “Rob the winners.” “Digital thermal.” “I’ve got a system!”
Edge City – If you can figure out this week’s Secret Word, write it down on a 3″x5″ postcard and mail it to: Token Jewish Comic, c/o King Features Syndicate.
Funkerboo – “They were holding me prisoner in 9 Chickweed Lane. The doctors say my camera angles will never be the same again.”
Top & Bottom – Life is too short to look at a newspaper before you try drawing one.
Slylock Fox – Also, the fake ice WOULDN’T MELT.
And last but certainly least, The Aspergic Mind of Edison Lee.
July 13th, 2009 at 12:14 pm
The last panel of Curtis today is deeply disturbing.
Re: #4, why would Dolly be a “bitch” for refusing to act helpless in front of her brother’s friends?
July 13th, 2009 at 12:16 pm
Why, apart from the purposes of this thought experiment, did Wanda put fake ice cubes in the potion glass anyway? Does the potion react violently with water, like alkali metals? Is she trying to pull the old “fly in the ice cube” gag on top of poisoning someone?
July 13th, 2009 at 12:16 pm
I’m hoping Brad finally gets to unleash that howler monkey orgasm all over Toni’s beautiful breasts. Just like Romanian orphans or cuddly puppies, I care for Brad and wish him to finally be happy. C’mon, Brad! Do your biz and whiz some jizz on that sweet mama!
July 13th, 2009 at 12:22 pm
Actually Ziggy is the third of the Whately triplets from H.P. Lovecraft’s “The Dunwich Horror.” Looking the least like his father, but still just barely able to pass as human, he haunts the halls of Miskatonic, trying to get his stubby little hands on their copy of the Necronomicon, allowing him to summon his horrible extradimensional sire upon the earth and end life and sanity as we know it. The faculty members who previously defeated his other two misshapen brothers know his horrific plans and have installed all manner of traps and security measures to stop him.
Over time they stopped taking things so seriously because he’s freaking Ziggy and have started to take serious enjoyment out of foiling the horrific plans of the put-upon, suction-cup-footed dope. Here they defeat his plan to get the book by placing a very carefully worded request in the suggestion box.
July 13th, 2009 at 12:27 pm
I think Billy is actually giving Dolly a useful lesson about boys (and especially his friends), which will stand her in good stead when she starts wearing dresses.
July 13th, 2009 at 12:28 pm
Dolly’s mad tree-climbing skilz – and she’s astonishing gifted considering she’s only 5 years old – run completely counter to her otherwise totally sissy-pants personality.
This appears to be yet another example of Jef Keane’s dark side leaking out. He’s exposing his older brother as both a bully and a wimp.
July 13th, 2009 at 12:30 pm
JP — April slept on the plane and she’s never felt better? WOW. I had heard the legends about what it’s really like to fly first-class, but never in my wildest dreams…I may have to rethink my position on what I might be willing to do for money.
July 13th, 2009 at 12:32 pm
Just great. Now I’m sitting here wondering if Ziggy is circumcised.
July 13th, 2009 at 12:32 pm
One does wonder a bit about Slylock’s informant in this case. That’s oddly specific information, and the whole setup reeks of
ratpointlessly manipulative mindgames. Keep going down this path, Weber, and you end up writing things like “Slylock was told that a bomb – which can only be defused with the help of a wolf, a goat, and a cabbage – has been planted on the opposite side of the river…”July 13th, 2009 at 12:37 pm
Fuck! Just because I have to take medicine two times a day, I’m a plugger! I’m a 22-year-old plugger! My life… over before it really begins …
July 13th, 2009 at 12:40 pm
The number 10 hung around Max’s neck indicates that Slylock has already gone through several assistants in his callous “detective work.”
July 13th, 2009 at 12:40 pm
Captain Winkerbean didn’t come home
His unborn child will never know him
Believe him missing with a number of men
Don’t expect to see him again
It’s a boy Mrs. Winkerbean
It’s a boy
It’s a boy Mrs. Winkerbean
It’s a boy
A son
A son
A son
What about the boy he saw it all.
July 13th, 2009 at 12:47 pm
# 47 Wolfdog — Hope I don’t jinx things by saying that I hope to see you on the float for that.
July 13th, 2009 at 12:48 pm
Sally Forth: What exactly is Ted doing in the first 2 panels? Playing “Roll Out the Barrel” on his computer keyboard? Having Señor Wences command his right hand? Trying to “butch up” his feminine left wrist?
One Big Happy: Almost full of win. All they needed to do is a crane shot of Ruthie yelling, “Khaaaaaaaaan!!!!”
July 13th, 2009 at 12:50 pm
# 48 Rebecca — I still assert that unless you are a human/other-mammal hybrid, or possibly Thorax, you are safe.
July 13th, 2009 at 12:51 pm
I always assumed Ziggy was some form of demon, something the higher (lower?) ranks would use as a practice dummy for their tortures of the damned. The hooves confirm it.
July 13th, 2009 at 12:55 pm
#30,
Thanks, Muffaroo. I hadn’t thought of the Tommy parallels, which some other ‘mudges have pointed out.
July 13th, 2009 at 12:56 pm
They do make pill boxes that have spaces for morning and night on them, and lots of people buy them. Having worked at a pharmacy, and seeing that this is actually a great organizational system for people who have to take that many pills, I find it confusing, as have other posters, that pluggers are apparently just more diseased. It must because of their poor diet and poverty. Whereas wealthy, well-bred people are never sick as they are superior to the common man in every way.
July 13th, 2009 at 12:56 pm
Nekrotzar @46 – Circumsized? or Half-Soled?
July 13th, 2009 at 1:04 pm
Dogman Plugger looks disturbingly like Wilfred Brimley; obviously his rounds of meds are for diabeetus.
July 13th, 2009 at 1:04 pm
S-M: Oh, for heaven’s sake. Here. Wolverine, meet Peter Parker, who is also Spider-Man, and his wife, Mary-Jane. Mr. and Mrs. Peter Parker/Spider-Man, this is Wolverine. Now are we all clear on who everyone is? Fine. Proceed.
July 13th, 2009 at 1:05 pm
… or what about the fact that the cup with the potion WOULDN’T BE COLD?
July 13th, 2009 at 1:18 pm
Wanda Witch is apparently handing out magic mushrooms, which explains her drooping and oddly colored face.
July 13th, 2009 at 1:22 pm
Josh, somehow you manage to apply more thought and perception to these comics than some philosophy professors I had could put towards Nietzsche. Congratulations, great work.
July 13th, 2009 at 1:23 pm
SFx: The pellet with the poison’s in the flagon with the dragon. The chalice from the palace holds the brew that is true. Remember, Witchy-poo, never get into a land war in Asia, and never go up against an anthropomorphic fox when death is on the line!
July 13th, 2009 at 1:24 pm
Slylock is the only intelligent being in his universe. The evidence is that, judging by his outfit, he is the only forest creature not participating in “Forest Field Day,” a dubious event in which the idiotically-grinning contestants are routinely subject to attempted poisoning. The would-be poisoner, Wanda Witch, proves herself no smarter than her would-be victims — “hiding” only three or four feet away from Slylock behind a tree which does not conceal her. The amazing thing is, without Slylock’s presence, this plan definitely would have worked. Slylock must feel like Frank Grimes every damned day.
July 13th, 2009 at 1:28 pm
Ironically, Peter saves MJ from the crude advances of Wolverine (a dangerous, oversexed mutant mercenary) only to lose her the very next day to the sweet blandishments of his shrewder rival, Nectarine (a juicy, hairless mutant fruit).
July 13th, 2009 at 1:32 pm
#63 for COTW! Anyone who can combine “The Court Jester” with “The Princess Bride” so seamlessly and effectively deserves it.
July 13th, 2009 at 1:34 pm
#50 – Smash!
What about the boy
What about the boy?
Who will play Cousin Kevin? Cory would be my best bet.
I’d just love to see Mary Worth as the Acid Queen.
July 13th, 2009 at 1:36 pm
#61 – Yes indeedy, nothing like a few Liberty Caps to make your day in the forest. Aaaarrrggh!
July 13th, 2009 at 1:37 pm
#43 Big Ted. Good, so I’m not the only one who read that FC and thought it was a pseudo-parental lecture against Dolly climbing in a split-seam skirt, rather than an insecure male ego speaking! Hopefully I’m now on the path to (mis)interpreting bad comics in the worst possible way…
July 13th, 2009 at 1:40 pm
#6 carbunicle: That would make sense at first, but on closer examination, I think it’s clear that Ziggy was a centaur who detached his rear half – back hooves, internal organs, genitals and all – and left us with this smoth, featureless patch we see here, and all he had to do was spend the rest of his life covering the gaping wound with his shirt! It explains a lot.
July 13th, 2009 at 1:42 pm
Pluggers — You’re a plugger if you are so overmedicated you cannot tell day from night.
Ziggy — His feet resemble suction cups, which would make sense given his enormous head has to keep him off balance.
Slylock — I think the key to this is that Wanda peed in all the glasses. Whenever someone drinks any of it, Wanda laughs her ass off. Hence laughing potion.
July 13th, 2009 at 1:43 pm
Pluggers are afraid that if they don’t avail themselves of every possible medication listed in the Physicians Desk Reference, that they will somehow be “cheated” of their right to squeeze every possible penny out of their Medicare coverage. And the free scooters, too, even if they were told to exercise more by their health-care providers.
They nag their doctors unendingly until the stressed professionals surrender, knowing that all that superfluous and unnecessary medications will in the end shorten the lives of the nagging hypochondriacs.
July 13th, 2009 at 1:54 pm
#67 Calico:
In the depressing universe that is Funkytown it is only fitting and proper that there be a deaf, dumb, and blind kid.
July 13th, 2009 at 1:59 pm
FW — In a startling twist, it turns out that Wally is only on a two-week leave before he has to return to his unit in Afghanistan. Talk about “stop-loss”…
July 13th, 2009 at 2:00 pm
If that tree is drawn with even the slightest accuracy, the branches remaining above Billy’s head are much too fragile to support Dolly’s weight. I can only assume Billy is using some kind of fiendish reverse psychology to entice Dolly to climb onto a branch that will break and cause her to fall on her oversized head.
As for Pluggers, my mother needs two pill holders, because she is 89 years old and struggling with Alzheimer’s. Does that make her a Plugger? Or does that make this cartoon a cheap, transparent attempt to engender empathy among legions of desperately ill people and their caretakers?
July 13th, 2009 at 2:00 pm
Happy 5th Anniversary Pope Josh!
July 13th, 2009 at 2:03 pm
Luann: I forgot to ask, but did Toni get a total mastectomy since the last time we’ve seen her? She seems a little uneven, if you get what I mean.
July 13th, 2009 at 2:16 pm
How ironic would it be if, one day, we really did get a glimpse of Ziggy’s junk and discovered it to be… the most breathtakingly beautiful, marvelous genitalia ever seen. Then wouldn’t we all feel well ashamed, boy howdy.
July 13th, 2009 at 2:18 pm
#71 McManx: That reminds me–I gotta go upstairs and make some “laughing juice!’ I’m not going near the cactus, though.
July 13th, 2009 at 2:18 pm
Poison? What poison…
OOhhhhhhh…. the poison, the poison for Slylock, the poison specifically designed to KILL Slylock, Slylock’s poison…
…That poison?
July 13th, 2009 at 2:25 pm
78 teddytoad – I was thinking, well, maybe we don’t see Zig’s feet because he’s wearing tights. That would explain the shirt he’s always got on — because it’s really a tunic. And Ziggy dressing like an escape from a Renaissance Faire would explain SO much about the comic strip. “Ha! He’s a loser, because he’s a peasant from the 12th century trying to make it in the 21st century.” I’d feel much better.
Now, thanks your comment on his Michaelangelo manhood, I have to shelve my theory until I see Ziggy in a codpiece.
July 13th, 2009 at 2:29 pm
FW Wally is Jesus. We get it, Batliuk, we get it.
I want to see a mashup of Phantom and 9CL. May be “want” is too strong. Rather, let’s see what happens if Sister Staring is told “eyes front” not to look at the Unknown Commander.
And this skinny-dipping arc better not end with Sister Staring joining in. You’ve been warned, Brooke.
Big Nate: BTW, Nate’s Dad, how did you do on your last performance appraisel at work? Or do you work, you lousy hippie bum?
MC: Ed and Melissa, have you been watching “Gerbil Hospital”, er “General Hospital”? Because Maureen/Norm is soooooo Spinelli/Maxie.
(The Missus watches it… stop looking at me like that!)
July 13th, 2009 at 2:37 pm
Why is the suggestion box (in “Ziggy”) hovering in the air? It can’t be on the wall, because the flip-top lid is angled backwards, and… oh, man, “Ziggy” did it again, making me question the reality of Ziggy’s existence. It’s almost like they’re not even trying to pretend he’s real!
If we assume that the guy in the background is some sort of boss to which Ziggy is enslaved, we can imagine that the job interview went something like this:
“So, Mr. Ziggy, do you have any skills?”
(curling his lip) ” . . . ”
“Well, you’re unqualified, but because it’s National Hire The Deformed Day, you’re hired, seeing as how your nose is bigger than my whole head. Your first assignment is to determine which of my eighteen Suggestion Hoverboxes is _not_ electrified…”
(curling his lip again) ” . . ? ! “
July 13th, 2009 at 2:39 pm
FW: In Funkyworld, being held hostage in a foreign land apparently helps one age much better than most of one’s peers and elders.
July 13th, 2009 at 2:44 pm
S4th: Ted Forth meets Edvard Munch.
July 13th, 2009 at 2:45 pm
#8 Hogenmogen and #75 Bitter Scribe: And later, when the detectives are investigating Dolly’s death, who will take the rap?
Ida Know and Not Me.
July 13th, 2009 at 2:45 pm
1. Dingo: You still like sex, or to think about sex, so you’ll never be a Plugger.
32. Old School Allie Cat: I’d suspect the exact same thing for your dad, and by extension, for you. I think you’re safe.
Belated congratulations on five years, Josh! It’s a great site that has both delivered lots of laughs for a lot of people, has made good friendships and even meet-ups, and has flexed the creative muscles to deliver so much mirth. Also, it has helped a few creators to think about what they’re doing and try to improve their strips, so its primary goal has still been reached! (Ed Power has tweaked things quite well, for example.) And it has made us find a few strips of actual quality which might not have been as known. Good work. :)
July 13th, 2009 at 2:47 pm
Heh, planning my driving trip down to Trenton, NJ in a few weeks, I noticed that I-81 will pass through New Milford. I’ll try to be on the lookout for new baseballs flying overhead on their way to New Gil’s new house. If I see a New Clambake, though, I might not be responsible for my actions…
July 13th, 2009 at 2:49 pm
Oh yes, this blog also showed us that there truly is a goat for all occasions. Thank you, True Fable.
July 13th, 2009 at 2:49 pm
DT: Great! It looks like we’re going to get three months of Dick explaining the previous plot to everyone he runs across.
“One-Eyed Jack… rigged… winners… robbed… Big Ace… cards… cheated… shot a henchman…”
“That’s great sir, now may I take your order?”
July 13th, 2009 at 2:53 pm
Pluggers eschew all kinds of technology, prefering instead to glorify themselves in some kind of rural, pastoral aura. But then they turn around and gladly reap the benefits of advanced technology in the form of cutting edge medications. Pluggers, you make me sick. I hope Chicken, Dog, Bear and Rhino all OD on Loritab and Geritol. Then we could replace them all with less dimwitted animals like a fox, a shark, a Scottish terrier and a platypus.
July 13th, 2009 at 2:57 pm
I don’t think it means you’re a plugger just because you take medication more than once a day; I think the point is that instead of taking the trouble to get one of the multi-time boxes to which Lael at 56 refers, you use two one-a-days because that’s what you found at the 99¢ store. And get confused about morning or night even though it should be obvious that the box with more days still filled is the next one to use!
When I had to set up my mother’s weekly meds I used a FOUR-space a day box; not that she had medications that required to be taken more than twice a day, but that she staggered her once-a-day medications so her body wouldn’t be overwhelmed with the onslaught.
My husband’s methods are even cruder than the plugger method. He just keeps all the bottles in a cardboard box that his GPS system came in. At one point he drew two little boxes with M and N in them, and stuck a push pin in the appropriate box to mark when he last took any meds. But then the variety and amounts and strengths vary so greatly in his current situation (adjusting to a bone marrow transplant done a year and a half ago) that a weekly pill box might even be useless — depending on what the latest tests showed he couldn’t guarantee what he would need to take that far ahead.
July 13th, 2009 at 2:58 pm
Assoline Galley: Soon to be retitled “Boobalicious Hillbilly Chicks and their Superfluously Idiot Men”
Now we just need a way to drop the “Idiot Men” and we’d have a strip to read.
July 13th, 2009 at 2:59 pm
Ziggy So all the blood rushing to that bulbous head and nose causes the feet to be sucked inward. Why does this not surprise me? Perhaps the entire week will be devoted to Ziggy’s peculiar anatomy. It can climax Saturday with his joing the Jim Rose Freak Show and becoming bestest friends with Lifto.
FC And Dolly smiled. She knew she would get just high enough to push him off, and would be first to cry at the funeral.
Everyone seems to WANT the laughing Potion. Damn DEA fox harshing everyone’s buzz.
Pluggers No, no, he’s not confused about which pills belong to which time period; he forgets which is the dark period and which one the sun belongs in.
July 13th, 2009 at 3:02 pm
Oh, 94 was me. Still getting used to a new computer
July 13th, 2009 at 3:04 pm
*blinks* My Cage: “Norm: “I should stick to dating hippies and goth chicks”"? Even Maureen is pushing Norm towards Ashley now. I wonder what her reaction would be if Norm even just broached the subject, much less outright asked… In a lesser strip, that would make her “confront her feelings” as to why she teased him so much, but here, I honestly wouldn’t know what to predict. Yay!
July 13th, 2009 at 3:06 pm
I just found out that both of my parents are pluggers. Not even a collection of Obama T-shirts could save me from this genetic nightmare.
July 13th, 2009 at 3:25 pm
I agree with Josh that Ziggy is surely not at work; every try showing up to work without pants? I mean, they said Fridays were “casual”, fer pete’s sake. Talk about a bunch of uptight people…
July 13th, 2009 at 3:36 pm
# 98 Winky’s Spleen–
Many years ago, at my husband’s old job, one of his co-workers showed up one day in just his boxer shorts and undershirt. He had mental issues, and it appears he hadn’t taken his meds. So I don’t know if this makes that poor guy a Plugger, for forgetting which meds to take, or Ziggy, for not wearing pants.
July 13th, 2009 at 3:43 pm
BC – VULTURES GOT TIME CLOCKS!
July 13th, 2009 at 3:46 pm
#78 teddytoad – Nope. It’d still be attached to Ziggy, and that right there guarantees that there would never be any chance of getting any.
July 13th, 2009 at 3:50 pm
Oh my God, I’ve been a Plugger this whole time and hadn’t known it until today’s installment. This is the sort of news that makes the world crumble around you.
July 13th, 2009 at 3:55 pm
10 Reasons Not To Read Mary Worth
1. It sucks.
2. It sucks donkeys.
3. It sucks large donkeys.
4. It sucks very large donkeys.
5. It sucks extremely very large donkeys.
6. It sucks extremely very large donkeys daily.
7. It completely sucks extremely very large donkeys daily.
8. It completely sucks extremely very large senile donkeys daily.
9. It can’t count to 10.
July 13th, 2009 at 4:05 pm
Insurance companies need 32 triathletes in their health plan pools to offset the cost of one plugger.
July 13th, 2009 at 4:14 pm
“Dennis the Menace” would never be launched today. It belongs in every way to another era, another mindset about children. It’s as mid-20th century modern as the sofa the boy is scaling in today’s installment.
Dennis Mitchell is being reared by parents who are ignorant of child development and lacking in humor and understanding. Do they ever hug the boy? He is not a menace. How about calling it “Dennis, The Boy Whose Parents Need to Read Harvey Karp?”
Also, for better or worse, few children today have a passle of neighborhood pals they run around with all day, having unsupervised yet safe fun.
July 13th, 2009 at 4:43 pm
Comcis Fan (#109): Yeah, that’s what I was saying yesterday about how Dennis’s clothes haven’t changed in about 50 years. Dennis has been stuck in time for so long that he’s gradually become one of those petrified museum exhibits like “Blondie” or “Archie”. It’s most apparent when the characters interact with modern props for the sake of a quick joke, such as Dennis watching the LCD TV the other day, Archie’s occasional use of a computer, etc.
I say these strips should embrace their outdatedness rather then just half-heartedly ignoring it. Just as any proper movie of “War of the Worlds” should treat it as a period piece taking place in some sort of alternate 1900 where Martians invaded, “Dennis The Menace” should be as 1950s as possible. Dialogue should always include one of these phrases: “My new two-dollar pork-pie hat is swell!”, “The great McCarthy should pre-empty Howdy Doody EVERY day!”, “Television is a passing fad, unlike radio!” and “Butter is the most important of the eleven food groups!”
Similarly, Dagwood should send his children to work in a Dickensian coal mine.
And then the two strips should merge. (Dennis: “Ow! I sat on my pick-axe!”)
July 13th, 2009 at 4:43 pm
I have health problems and take a lot of pills. I am horrified to find this supposedly makes me a Plugger. Noooo! I am not one of the Pluggers. Fuck you and the beaten-down, paint-peeling jalopies you rode in on, Pluggers!
Also, everybody in Slylock Fox’s world looks like they just had a lobotomy.
July 13th, 2009 at 4:45 pm
If you’re wondering what exactly Ziggy is I give you the blob fish
http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://weblog.greenpeace.org/oceandefenders/archive/blobfish.jpg&imgrefurl=http://weblog.greenpeace.org/oceandefenders/archive/blobfish.html&usg=__9KRS2aXPwp8I_402Gc8SPnZ9kIU=&h=246&w=300&sz=33&hl=en&start=1&tbnid=M_Lu5cz8qtm6MM:&tbnh=95&tbnw=116&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dblob%2Bfish%26gbv%3D2%26hl%3Den%26safe%3DoffJuly 13th, 2009 at 4:46 pm
(Whoops, I got the number wrong in my citation. Comcis Fan, please be sure to post response #109 so that I look like a seer of the future rather than a mistyper of digits. Thanks in advance!)
July 13th, 2009 at 4:49 pm
(Oy. Hoist by my own petard.)
July 13th, 2009 at 4:54 pm
# 78 teddytoad — You mean Ziggy looks like a flower down there?
July 13th, 2009 at 5:38 pm
The joke is actually on our anonymous prankster given that Ziggy’s suggestion was “please kill me.”
July 13th, 2009 at 5:48 pm
Comcis Fan, I have a pretty good hunch Dennis the Menace is looking for good gag writers…
July 13th, 2009 at 5:57 pm
“Hot ice?” That sounds really hard to make. If only Wanda Witch had thought to use actual ice, I guess her plan would have worked fine. Instead, she concocted something that looks like ice, but fulfills an opposite function, and leaked the news to Slylock Fox. Who didn’t even need to look for condensation to find the “hot ice.” He could have just felt to see which glass is hot.
Wanda Witch is kind of a dumbass.
July 13th, 2009 at 6:18 pm
Time to come out of lurkdom to post.
Yes I’m still alive, I haven’t to Funky Winkerbeandom, I’ve been busy with a production of ‘Annie’. And no she doesn’t have her eyes whited out for the show.
Also, MoL Sunday had me laughing. Having worked retail for more years than I care to know about, I don’t how many times I heard the same things Lila said and me starting to feel like Boyd at the end.
Now back to your comics!
July 13th, 2009 at 6:22 pm
Dolly’s smile means she’s about to push Billy out of the tree.
Ziggy’s feet look like golf clubs to me; this means he probably has balls up his shirt. *is shot*
July 13th, 2009 at 6:35 pm
I’m pretty sure Ziggy is a Tonberry myself.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v520/Ubiq/tonberry_color.jpg
1) The people in charge tend to love them for whatever reason even if nobody else does.
2) An appearance by a Tonberry is always a bad thing, especially seeing as how they love to show up at the worst possible moment.
3) No matter how much you attack them, Tonberries almost always plod forward even well after the point where they should be dead.
4) Upon coming into contact with you, a Tonberry will stab you in the stomach and then begin its slow death march back across the screen.
If you can think of a better metaphor for reading a Ziggy comic, I’d like to hear it.
July 13th, 2009 at 6:47 pm
I think it’s more that if Dolly climbs higher than Billy, Billy will feel compelled to try to cop a glance up her pant leg and that will be horribly embarrassing for him.
July 13th, 2009 at 7:22 pm
You are a Plugger if you are poor and have 40 drugs to take each day, which you can barely afford or keep track of, AND if you consistently vote against FDA oversight for drug safety, reform of pharmaceutical company prices, and social programs for assisting the underprivileged to obtain said drugs, because you don’t like the socialist commie government telling you what to do.
So Pluggers are kind of ironic.
July 13th, 2009 at 7:23 pm
I like how the stork standing behind Slylock Fox has this frozen, deadened look in its eyes, almost as if Wanda “I’m So Stupid I Forgot to Put Real Ice in the Glass” Witch hypnotized the lot of them for the sheer hell of it… or, maybe he just had the peyote Slylock sniffs every Sunday.
July 13th, 2009 at 7:31 pm
Ha ha, and here I was thinking that Billy was warning Dolly against the horny, prepubescent boys who would be staring up her skirt. The smile on Dolly’s face just affirms that she’s a budding exhibitionist, and will have a lifelong career of being a stripper and will lose all contact with relatives (much to her parent’s blessing).
July 13th, 2009 at 7:32 pm
FC: A cunning move on Billy’s part — classic reverse psychology! An emboldened Dolly will, of course, continue climbing and will be so wrapped up in her imminent triumph that she will ignore the fact that she is very rapidly running out of tree to climb. One down, two to go, Billy. You had to outwit Dolly, so make the next one easy on yourself — PJ. Just take him outside during a rainstorm and tell him to to look up. His last words, if any, will be something along the lines of , “Dahhh, okay.”
July 13th, 2009 at 7:36 pm
#52: “Sally Forth: What exactly is Ted doing in the first 2 panels? Playing “Roll Out the Barrel” on his computer keyboard? Having Señor Wences command his right hand? Trying to “butch up” his feminine left wrist?”
Yes, yes and yes.
July 13th, 2009 at 7:38 pm
#119 – that should be “socialist commie GUHMINT” telling you what to do”.
July 13th, 2009 at 7:49 pm
@84 Comcis Fan: Being held hostage in a foreign land outside Funkyworld is obviously infinitely preferable to returning to Funkyworld, as the terrible diseases native to the Winkerverse – Soul Cancer, Terminal Mopeys, Ironic Deafness, and The Smirks, among others – become less prevalent the further you get from the title character himself. Two seconds back inside the more familiar quarter of the Winkerverse, however, and Wally has already acquired the look of soul-crushing ennui native to all Winkerbians. It’s like he and Becky both know they’re in a joy-destroying bizarro world in which the return of one’s long lost spouse can only turn out to be the worst thing that could happen to you, and they don’t want to waste any time on that fruitless thing they used to call “hope”.
July 13th, 2009 at 7:49 pm
FW— Normally when a soldier returns from years of M.I.A. status, there is great rejoicing and happiness on the part of his friends and relatives. But this isn’t normality, it’s Funky Winkerbean, which explains the gloom and misery emanating from his “friends” and relatives. Remember, these are the same crummy people who did nothing to protest when the Army sent him to Iraq because they had made a mistake and had discharged him one day too soon. (That’s how I remember it, but I’m too lazy to go back and check.)
Now I suppose we’ll have a week of Wally and Becky being awkwardly horizontal while comic-store-guy broods in the background. I can hardly wait for the touching reunion between Wally and Rahna. She’ll probably kick him in the nuts.
Does that sound too negative and cynical? Well, that’s because I’ve learned comics plotting from a Master — Master Batiuk. And we all know how enlightening and enjoyable it is to masterbatiuk.
July 13th, 2009 at 7:50 pm
Also: long-time reader, first time commenter! Yay!
July 13th, 2009 at 8:02 pm
#117 Ubiq – I think you’ve nailed it. I knew there was a reason I always felt unsettled repulsion upon encountering a Tonberry; I just never figured it was because they remind me of Ziggy.
July 13th, 2009 at 8:09 pm
# 127 OMJulie — Welcome! Anyone who understands FW as well as you do definitely belongs here.
July 13th, 2009 at 8:40 pm
Wally-the-no-longer-MIA has lost an arm. Which is ironic.
You heard it here first.
July 13th, 2009 at 9:04 pm
SFx: I’m suspecting Wanda already slipped something into Slylock’s breakfast this morning. Why else is he wearing a full suit and cape on this hot, humid day?
July 13th, 2009 at 9:07 pm
I’m actually groovin’ on the Ziggy strip, because the implication is clearly that Ziggy is a never-ending source of helpful suggestions and the apparent Boss is giving him his comeuppance by playing this trick on him. I say, “Good on you, Boss!” Wouldn’t we all like to give Ziggy a coronary in response to his oh-so-helpful messages?
July 13th, 2009 at 9:10 pm
#130 – I didn’t read all of yesterday’s comments. So maybe you heard it there first.
Besides, it has been debunked. Wally has two arms darn it.
July 13th, 2009 at 11:10 pm
# 133 Cool Bev — I said it yesterday, for all the good it did. Yeah, he’s got both arms. I’m bummed.
July 14th, 2009 at 1:08 am
One-panel Monday and no mention of the super-pretentious sideway one-panel Funky Winkerbean!? I have no clue who this soldier is, but I assume the strip’s gone full-blown Tom Hanks in Castaway on us. Canceraids, amputation, alcoholism… and now PTSD/POW/inadvertent polygamy/10 years in a Vietnamese tiger cage (I assume). Oh comics. Bring on the funny, Funky!
July 14th, 2009 at 2:40 am
Don’t sweat it Plugger-dog; it really doesn’t matter if you mix up the Oxycontin that your grandson sold you with the Oxycontin that your dead wife left behind.
July 14th, 2009 at 3:36 am
Saddest thing about this sad sad Funky plotline: he’s DONE Wally being presumed dead before. Apparently it’s like cancer in the Funkiverse: again and again until you die.
July 14th, 2009 at 9:03 am
This Slylock Fox makes even less sense than usual.
1) They have to call a detective to figure out which glass of lemonade isn’t as cold as the others. How unbelievably stupid are these people?
2) Wanda’s crime is spiking drinks with laughing potion. I don’t know about you, but I like to laugh. Who’s the real criminal here, Wanda or Slylock?
3) I’m pretty sure hippos can’t jump, let alone compete in a sack race..
July 14th, 2009 at 9:54 am
Doesn’t this panel prove once and for all that Ziggy IS, in fact, wearing pants? Footie pajama pants, to be precise. So, now can we please stop worrying about getting a glimpse of his pudenda? And start worrying that maybe he has the kind with a flap in the back that could suffer a wardrobe malfunction at any moment?
July 14th, 2009 at 6:55 pm
Looks to me like Ziggy must be a Bone from Boneville. Not nearly as cute as Fone Bone, though, that’s for sure.