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Animal magic

Family Circus, 7/19/09

You might have noticed the title of the book Big Daddy Keane is reading to his little ankle-biters, Rat and Pig Get Lost, which is an installment in a good-natured back and forth between the Family Circus and Pearls Before Swine. More intriguing, though, is what this cartoon reveals about the Keane Kids: not only are they illiterate, but they can’t even sit still to be read aloud to, and rather will wander in the direction of the hypnotic, glowing picture box, the better to move their brains past their current gelatinous state and straight on into liquidity.

Mary Worth, 7/19/09

While this installment might seem to be taking place immediately on the heels of yesterday’s, with Mary tidying up and thought-ballooning like mad and Delilah wandering aimlessly around the grounds, note that both ladies have changed into completely different (though still hideous) outfits, so this could be days or months later. But apparently enough time has passed that Delilah is finally ready to make a call … to her dealer, if her freakishly enlarged pupils are any indication.

Slylock Fox, 7/19/09

The main mystery panel in today’s strip is fairly bland — another fox-mouse double date leading up to some drunken partner-swapping that the radical differences in size will make incredibly awkward — but I’m pretty intrigued by the scene over in Six Differences. Are the woodland herbivores engaging in some kind of Druid ritual to call down a lightning strike against their predator-enemy, the terrible wolf? I hope the pagan magic will keep the beavers safe, as I’m not sure the open water is the best place to be in a thunderstorm.

This entry was posted on Sunday, July 19, 2009 at 11:12 pm and is filed under Family Circus, Mary Worth, Slylock Fox.

164 responses to “Animal magic”

Poteet
July 19th, 2009 at 11:15 pm [Reply]

I really wish Max would wear a shirt at least once. He always looks cold to me, even without nipples.
Sed
July 19th, 2009 at 11:17 pm [Reply]

In the real world, those foxes would be barbecuing those mice.

Just sayin’.
Poteet
July 19th, 2009 at 11:23 pm [Reply]

Even for MARY WORTH, that fifth “lovebirds” panel is remarkably hideous.
Steve®
July 19th, 2009 at 11:27 pm [Reply]

As soon as I saw ‘Family Circus’ I thought… “Josh.”
I’ve been drinking since noon in anticipation. My pastor, by the way, was appalled.
Katie
July 19th, 2009 at 11:32 pm [Reply]

Damn, there goes my Slylock/Cassandra pairing!
LaziestManOnMars
July 19th, 2009 at 11:32 pm [Reply]

Today’s “Your Drawing” in Slylock Fox rules!
crazyjerseygirl
July 19th, 2009 at 11:34 pm [Reply]

#6…..yeah…who is that?
~Crazy
commodorejohn
July 19th, 2009 at 11:36 pm [Reply]

Today’s “Your Drawing” looks like someone who would be clerking an adult-video store in The Simpsons.
troy macgregor
July 19th, 2009 at 11:39 pm [Reply]

You can barely make it out but it’s clearly the Simpsons on the Keane Kompound idiot box. Either the Keane parental units are becoming quite lax these days or it says something about the current state of the series that even the backwards, frozen in the Eisenhower-era world of Family Circus accepts it.
Comrade Denny
July 19th, 2009 at 11:40 pm [Reply]

Relax Bil, Sr. Sure, you’re kids are illiterate slaves of the Spectacle, but you’re wife’s there in her French maid outfit and she’s even got the towels. Life ain’t all that bad.
crazyjerseygirl
July 19th, 2009 at 11:41 pm [Reply]

#8 I more imagine today’s “your drawing” sitting at a corner busstop eating peanut butter sandwiches and mumbling to himself.
But thats just me.
~Crazy
zenvelo
July 19th, 2009 at 11:47 pm [Reply]

I pity the 15 yr old kid from the San Fernando Valley. It’s actually worthy of R Crumb, but he will eat tremendous amounts of shit when kids at school find out he was published in Slylock Fox…
Joe
July 19th, 2009 at 11:51 pm [Reply]

It appears that the Keane kids are watching The Simpsons. Better not let the parents find out, that perv Bart Simpson might tell them to eat their shorts, and Lord knows those little football heads will actually do it!
LaziestManOnMars
July 19th, 2009 at 11:52 pm [Reply]

#12…Maybe he’ll just play it off like he got to hangout with Cassandra Cat.
Mdgoldrush1984
July 19th, 2009 at 11:54 pm [Reply]

Judging from the name on “Your Drawing,” I’m just going to assume that method actor/milkshake enthusiast Daniel Day Lewis (There Will Be Blood‘) is getting into character for an upcoming Slylock Fox film. Better than him trying to solve mysteries in a giant fox suit, I suppose.
Frank Parsnip
July 19th, 2009 at 11:56 pm [Reply]

Sunday notes:

Funky Pantysniffer: I suppose Funky has to comfort himself with the thought that although Cindy is still physically attractive enough to fit military men that they can spend several panels of dialogue flirting over the word “scuttlebutt”, she is after all an available woman in the midst of men in a desert thousands of miles from home. And then he’ll have to remember that Cindy can still show up on television while he is frequently mistaken for Harry Dingle.

Blondie: “Sweeter than a bowl of after-dinner mints”? What, like the notion of ribbon candy stuck together in the shape of its bowl never passed his mind? Shameful!

Jugs Parker: I can only hope that the use of today’s throwaway panels will portend future horribly cheesy lines. If Randy talks about re-arranging the alphabet to put “u” and “i” together, I’ll start hoping Frankie D’Vito will make him die slowly and painfully.

DtM: Dennis prissily hitting a balloon back and forth across a badminton net? Not menacing. Dennis swiftly changing his mind to get a stockpile of water balloons? A bit better.

Beetle Bailey: Based on a couple of those panels, I was hoping Beetle would bitchslap the hell out of Lt. Fuzz.

Barney Google: As a cultural phenomenon, I am often amazed by the local Taihoku inhabitants who list among their hobbies, without a trace of sarcasm or irony, “sleeping”.
MissKitty
July 19th, 2009 at 11:56 pm [Reply]

Slylock Fox is also spoofing Gil Thorp in the very top panel: baseball and head are connecting, but nothing else is.
Digger
July 19th, 2009 at 11:59 pm [Reply]

I may not sleep tonight, as I am afraid I will have nightmares about the serial killer drawn by Daniel Lewis (age 15, of Tarzana, CA).

Meanwhile, in Slylock Fox, Tiffany and Melody answer Max’s question with one of their own: “Can you name two guys who will not be getting any tonight?” Slylock knows the answer. Do you?
LaziestManOnMars
July 20th, 2009 at 12:01 am [Reply]

It’s nice to see developmentally disabled people getting jobs writing the titles for the “How to Draw” panel in Slylock Fox.
NoahSnark
July 20th, 2009 at 12:03 am [Reply]

“Where there is love, there is pain.” – Spanish Proverb

“Where there is pain, there is an opportunity to meddle.” – Mary Worth
BigTed
July 20th, 2009 at 12:10 am [Reply]

Maybe Pa Keane could keep track of his kids better if they didn’t have a weirdly misplaced wall in their living room separating the couch from the TV. Seriously, what’s the deal with that?
True Fable
July 20th, 2009 at 12:12 am [Reply]

wait, what?!

Fist O Justice theater So Joey does a little dance to the Gunpowder Overture, and Mark picks him up and carries him, despite the obvious presence of a gunman! Never mind that whoever shot Joey just might shoot Mark; oh no no! Never fear! Mark Trail cannot be harmed! He has the power of the Forest Spirit behind him! Bulllets bounce off his manly khaki-covered chest! Why, bullets have been known to change trajectory in mid-air at the very presence of the Lost Forest Legend!

Bullshit! This is why I love to read Mark Trail; it’s so chock-full of Ridiculous! Gotta love it!
Gold-Digging Nanny
July 20th, 2009 at 12:16 am [Reply]

Nice explanation of the bizarre doings in Six Differences, Josh, but I have to admit I find the fox/mouse double dates more intriguing than you do. So it seems Tiffany Fox is back in the foursome again, and not this blonde vixen.
Jimmy Kelly
July 20th, 2009 at 12:17 am [Reply]

What intrigues me the most about Family Circus is the fact that what the children are watching is clearly an episode of The Simpsons. What we don’t see in this comic is the Keane parents proceeding to beat the children mercilessly for bringing that kind of filth into their righteous home.
Spk
July 20th, 2009 at 12:19 am [Reply]

I put up with a lot of crap out of these soap strips but I’m nearing my breaking point.

Cut it out with the neckerchiefs! No one has dressed like that in well over 20 years!
Red Greenback
July 20th, 2009 at 12:23 am [Reply]

SlyFo: “Which one of the following is not a species of canine?”… I’ll go with answer F, Bob. The only Dingo I know is a bear.
Frank Parsnip
July 20th, 2009 at 12:29 am [Reply]

MT: If I were Mark, I wouldn’t worry so much about the chemical company exec who just tried to lead me into an ambush. And if I were the gunman, I’d make sure to squeeze that trigger a couple more times… FAST!

MW: Judging from panel 2, if merely talking to his wife gives Lawrence an awful migrane then it’s no wonder he spends all his time on the road.

A3G: Second prize is to get two audiences with his holiness.

Beetle Bailey: Lover’s tiff.

DtM: And Dennis doesn’t menace her one bit for repeating canned pablum like that on consecutive days? For shame, sir! For shame!

Sex Organ, M.D.: The great thing about the Alzheimer’s Enclosure is that it’s been designed to look like their natural habitat. Patients can cavort around buildings and fountains that look just like the ones that might have existed in their previous neighborhoods. However, with the artful use of deep ditches, moats and wire, the visitors are able to watch in complete safety.

Slylock Fox: I take issue with today’s “answer” to the mystery of the carrots. Shady Shrew can sharpen the pencil anytime he wants, right up to the end of the letter — it’s not like there’s a rule that you can only write a letter within a single pencil-sharpening. If the crime only happened a moment ago, then shouldn’t there be carrots somewhere around the room?
Rock Ripsnort
July 20th, 2009 at 12:30 am [Reply]

Spiderman: Dammit, I waited all day to get to the interwebz, hoping to see this strip on CC. It’s time to play How Big A Nerd Are You?
1) When the last panel asks, “Is New York ready for three superheroes?”– did you immediately think of another four or five ubermenschen residing in NY?
2) Did you try to look up what molecule was really posing as adamandtheantsium in Doc Ock’s chart in the next-to-last-panel?

If you answered “Yep” to #1, you’re a garden-variety nerd. If you answered Yes to #2, you’re nerdcore, and I wish you’d tell me the answer, it’s been bugging me all day.
True Fable
July 20th, 2009 at 12:30 am [Reply]

Meddle House This time?! Ohhh, so Delilah has pulled this “run off to screw an old boyfriend at some random place” thing before! And the only thing holding her back this time is Meddlin’ Mary! Well, as soon as Lawrence claws that black shit off his face, he’ll come get her.

Here Come De Judge Parker More law storylline! Yay! As much as I enjoy the sweaterpuppies and domestic goings-on, I really appreciate the appearance of legal situations in, you know, as strip called Judge Parker.

Margo 3-G omg, it’s Doomsday! Isn’t that what happens when a holy figure meets with a denizen of hell? It’s like matter and anti-matter!

C’haft When did C’haft go to a nursing home?!

Forever Wangstinger Holy shit, somebody kick this strip and get it moving.

Between Foobs Yeah, but the trouble is, when this go-round fails AND YOU KNOW IT WILL, she’ll be whining about it in minute detail. But I won’t be around for that.
Carly
July 20th, 2009 at 12:30 am [Reply]

And suddenly Mary Worth becomes clear: it doesn’t matter what Delilah wants; poor Lawrence is feeling bad, and that won’t do.

Oh, wait. That’s all the time in MW.
Soccerhead
July 20th, 2009 at 12:33 am [Reply]

7/19 H&L: Camp Runamucka?
Is that an Algonquin word meaning, “Place with Only Whites”?
7/19 BLONDIE: Do striped tablecloths really work that way?
commodorejohn
July 20th, 2009 at 12:36 am [Reply]

#27 Rock Ripsnort – Uh, the Fantastic Four are NY-based, right? I’m not sure about anybody else, though. As to the compound, it’s been a bazillion years since I last cracked a chemistry textbook, but if I recall correctly, the hexagonal shapes are carbon rings, so it’s some kind of very very organic substance, and probably not a metal of any kind.
Mr. O'Malley
July 20th, 2009 at 12:43 am [Reply]

Did someone question whether FC was one of those self-referential comics?

A leap forward in Crankshaft? Or just some kind of cheap shot?

JP: Yeah, I look forward to seeing the “ex-CIA” lady blow him away with one shot from the balcony of La Pretensiosa.

MW: Who was she staying with the other times? Rex Morgan and The Phantom? Has the script writing been outsourced to Erica Jong?
sarah
July 20th, 2009 at 12:46 am [Reply]

#25 What? Wikipedia says that a Dingo is a dog. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dingo. Is it a bear, instead?
Trekkie
July 20th, 2009 at 12:49 am [Reply]

Well, there’s also The Avengers (seeing as how the whole Civil War crack-up never happened here), She-Hulk, Hercules…

New York City has typically the most superheroes per capita in the Marvel Universe.
True Fable
July 20th, 2009 at 12:55 am [Reply]

Spider-Shmoe This is just one of the biggest bores of our time. Two of the most popular and action-ready superheroes in comicdom, and they’re just chatting around, showing their keepsakes off. Craptastic.

#33 Sarah – Our Dingo is a bear. The Australian dingos are whatever they are.
Rock Ripsnort
July 20th, 2009 at 1:14 am [Reply]

Thank you, fellow nerds, I knew you wouldn’t let me down. I would also have accepted Dr. Strange in Groovy Greenwich Village and ALL the X-Men over in Westchester.
That antsinthepantsium thing still bugs me, although the commodore is right, it does look organic.
AirForbes
July 20th, 2009 at 1:26 am [Reply]

That mouse in Slylock Fox’s “How to Draw a mouse going bye-bye” looks awfully like Rat as well. Maybe Family Circus isn’t the only strip trying to get a zinger back at Pastis this week. I think he’s done a parody of Slylock as well.
Mibbitmaker
July 20th, 2009 at 1:27 am [Reply]

I’m clearly not alone noticing the odd spectacle in Slylock’s “Your Drawing”. A character like that should be going through life with the name Igor. Or maybe Torgo.

FC Sunday: The kids are watching the Simpsons (and no doubt getting plenty anti-TV commentary themselves). Then they’ll be watching “Jeopardy”. Then an old MST3K rerun. Their brains may actually be getting improved! …If they weren’t the Family Circus kids, that is. They were born brain-liquified.

I was going to mention how the top of Slylock Fox reminded me of a Brady Bunch scene, but nevermind…..
Alison
July 20th, 2009 at 1:32 am [Reply]

“How to draw a mouse going bye bye” is a super-creepy way to label that drawing. What the hell was wrong with “How to draw a mouse with a balloon”?

Nice mullet on your girlfriend, Max.
Jeff Soesbe (yeff)
July 20th, 2009 at 1:34 am [Reply]

There is a fourth answer to Max Mouse’s question.

If by “sport” you mean “be stabbed in the heart by a burning hot marshmallow-coated stick”

And if by “win” you mean “die at the hands of Shylock Fox, thus prompting a grief-driven fox-mouse-fox menage a trois, followed immediately the dessert of mouse flambe a la marshmallow.”

Watch for it in the 2016 Olympics!

- yeff
Bryan
July 20th, 2009 at 1:42 am [Reply]

Is it just me, or is Bob Weber also taking a shot at “Pearls” today? The HOW TO DRAW A mouse going bye-bye certainly looks A LOT like Rat.
AirForbes
July 20th, 2009 at 1:57 am [Reply]

If you attempted to run a search on portions of Doc Ock’s structure using emolecules.com, you’re nerdcore and unemployed. Definitely carbon-based, and bears no resemblance to reality.
Sheila Sternwell
July 20th, 2009 at 2:06 am [Reply]

Sunday’s “Your Drawing” is both sinister and charming. That kid could make a living creating cartoons for Adult Swim, all he needs to do is make sure his animated series focuses on feces. That’s Adult Swim’s only requirement.

AND NO I AM NOT STILL BITTER THAT THEY CANCELLED SPACE GHOST.
Mibbitmaker
July 20th, 2009 at 2:11 am [Reply]

Color-Only Comics Early Morning:

A3G: Margo, this is no time to start quoting “Taxi Driver”!

FW: That’s quite a close-up (though not quite Dick Tracy-level) for being “on background”. I wish they’d go all the way into the background to the point of disappearing, leaving us with something actually interesting to be reading in that space. This being Funky Winkerbean, however, forget it.

MT: Elrod finally corrects the sound effect. Tomorrow, the same scene, this time with a Don Martin sound effect.

MW: Excedrin Headache #8,544,638,739,398.

Popeye: A new storyline. Maybe this time, it’ll be a nice, sane story that makes a lick of sense…. let’s see…. an evil ripe tomato. Okay, forget I said anything.

Popeye2: A ripe tomato. Good. Now we’ve got something to throw at this strip.

Popeye3: Confidentially, I really like the batdoodoo insanity we keep getting from the old salt.

RMMD: In case Funky Winkerbean isn’t depressing enough.

The Brilliant Mind of Self-Righteous Little Shit: …And some comics characters get the strip they deserve, Eddy boy.

Zits: Omigod, we’re getting all 101 of these in a row, aren’t we? (runs screaming from the room)
Chromium
July 20th, 2009 at 2:14 am [Reply]

Monday’s MT: “WHAT’S GOING ON? JOEY! JOEY! IT’S THE CANS! HE HATES THE CANS!”
Mibbitmaker
July 20th, 2009 at 2:20 am [Reply]

#43 (Sheila Sternwell): Adult Swim is all about dung/bathroom humor these days? Jeez. Last time I watched those shows (c.2003), it was all blood and gore yuks/yeccchs ruining things (even Space Ghost).

Well, it was fun while it lasted.
Mibbitmaker
July 20th, 2009 at 2:22 am [Reply]

#45 (Chromium): I always knew Mark Trail was a Jerk.
Mibbitmaker
July 20th, 2009 at 2:29 am [Reply]

I’m not sure why, but reading the new comics, I suddenly can’t get the theme of “Attack of the Killer Tomatos” out of my head…
The Restless Mouse
July 20th, 2009 at 3:08 am [Reply]

That Keane family TV must be something special, even the dog and the cat are mesmerized. And it shrunk everyone in the room. Must be one of those newfangled “HD” TV sets.
Frank Parsnip
July 20th, 2009 at 4:07 am [Reply]

RockRipsnort (27): The molecule is that of unobtainium, which is conveniently massless and frictionless. It is also the substance used in foundries to shape admantium. Now, if only Doc Ock could only find a way to try to protect the squishy pink parts of his body attached to the tentacles.
True Fable
July 20th, 2009 at 4:33 am [Reply]

#43 Sheila Sternwell & #46 mibbitmaker – Adult Swim started tanking when they pulled an MTV by bringing in live action shows like that bullshit Tim & Eric Show, or that fucked-up Mole thing that looked like H.R. Huffenpuff on a bad acid trip. Live action shit On Cartoon Network. They also had the idea that making cheap unfunny “Comedies” was the hip thing to do. Squidbilllies? Uh, no. Home Movies? Bullshit. Metalocalypse? Oh please. Their one good move was coming up with The Venture Brothers, but it’s too little, too late.

There’s no more decent anime except a handful of shows on Saturday night – not even Inuyasha! (I presume all the Rabid Inuyasha Fans turned to DVD’s or something.) Whatever the case, if they aren’t going to show Trigun, Wolf’s Rain, The Big O, Outlaw Star, Witch Hunter Robin or the granddaddy of them all, Cowboy Bebop, then I say Fuck Adult Swim.
Ms Avery
July 20th, 2009 at 4:54 am [Reply]

I’m sure MW has used that proverb in a previous sanctimonious narration box. Also what’s up with the religious icon in Panel 5?
Greenbrastic
July 20th, 2009 at 5:43 am [Reply]

FC: It is hard to watch Bill degenerate into senility, hollowly shouting disjointed passages from a comic book, insensible to the fact that his children have left his side long ago. His mental degeneration has progressed so aggressively that he is no longer able to support his family; poor Thel has obviously been forced in her middle age to moonlight as a hotel maid while nursing and patronizing her doddering husband. “HOW’S YOUR BOOK?”
gleeb
July 20th, 2009 at 6:04 am [Reply]

Brenda: So, is Pug back?

A3-G: I thought Margo had it more together than to go Travis Bickle on anyone.

Between Friends: Hmm, looking at this, maybe an imaginary blue cat is a more sensible thing to talk to.

’shaft: Time to throw your immanent death into sharp relief!
John C Fremont
July 20th, 2009 at 6:41 am [Reply]

#30 Soccerhead – Sadly, I go back far enough to remember the sixties TV series “Camp Runamuck.” I don’t remember much, if anything, about the show itself, but I can sing the theme song for you if you’d like. And then I can follow up with the variation of Allan Sherman’s “Camp Granada” that he used to pitch the board game of the same name.

(sigh) I think I’ll go check into that Alzheimer’s compound now. I’ll be sure to say “Hi!” to Becka for everyone. And if Crankshaft shows up, I’ll be sure to smother him with his own pillow, throw the hydrotherapy unit through the window and make my escape.
Naked Bunny with a Whip
July 20th, 2009 at 7:51 am [Reply]

the radical differences in size will make incredibly awkward

Daww. Now I miss my boyfriend.
mojo
July 20th, 2009 at 7:59 am [Reply]

Wow, Lawrence in Monday’s Mary Worth is looking pissed! No doubt he met some greasy smarm-meister named “Charley” at a local dive bar this weekend, drunkenly boasting about his latest conquest. And when he heard what the woman was wearing, Lawrence thought to himself, “DELILAH! Why, that sounds just like her WEDDING OUTFIT! That little SKANK!”
Naked Bunny with a Whip
July 20th, 2009 at 8:04 am [Reply]

MW: Why can’t Mary just call Lawrence and ask how he’s handling the separation? Does he have a restraining order? Is she afraid he’ll be out of breath when he answers the phone?
Bryan
July 20th, 2009 at 8:04 am [Reply]

Holy cats, are there two Bryans commenting here now? Soon, we will rule the world!
Old School Allie Cat
July 20th, 2009 at 8:08 am [Reply]

Shaft – WHAT THE HELL? Have I missed something – how did he end up in a wheelchair in a facility under the care of a nurse?

I read this strip every day – did I just come out of a coma? Did I skip a day wherein the plot advanced a full six months?
Amateur
July 20th, 2009 at 8:12 am [Reply]

MW: Delilah and Mary may have been wrong about Lawrence wanting the marriage to work, if just the sound of Del’s voice gives him a migraine.
Bryan
July 20th, 2009 at 8:15 am [Reply]

A3G: Margo, this is not the time for your Travis Bickle impersonation!
mojo
July 20th, 2009 at 8:19 am [Reply]

With all of her worldly experience, how does Mary Worth EVER come up with the conclusion that, just because Delilah is “smart” and “good”, “whatever decision she makes will ultimately be right…for her… and for both of them.” Um, hasn’t Mary ever heard of smart, good people making terrible, terrible MISTAKES? Perhaps, um, say, ultimately super-REGRETTING something they’ve done? And that’s just your AVERAGE smart, good person. No doubt a freakin’ BRAIN TRUST like Delilah will prove to be in a statistical class by herself.
crazyjerseygirl
July 20th, 2009 at 8:20 am [Reply]

#27 I assume the spiderman you are talking about is a sunday strip cause i cant find it on comics chron. If you link to the sunday strip I can try to identify the chemical.
Somebody mentioned a hexagon, he/she was right, they do tend to be carbon rings and are pretty popular in organic chemistry.
Remember though that anamantium is supposed (i think) to be an element, so there probably wouldn’t be that much of a molecular chart as a atomic one up. If it is bonding like carbon though, it is probably in group 14 along with silicon, tin, lead ect. Of course nothing else is quite as versitile as carbon. Always knew that mol. bio, degree would come in handy!
Hmm, has this post make me a queen amongst nerds? If so can somebody get me a coffee?
~Crazy,
Charlene
July 20th, 2009 at 8:21 am [Reply]

A3G: So the Dalai Lama has granted Margo an audience. Did anyone ask Margo if she wanted to grant the Dalai Lama an audience?
Hogenmogen
July 20th, 2009 at 8:21 am [Reply]

Slylock Fox knows three sports that involve going backwards right off the top of his head. But he is unaware of any device that could possibly convert a dull pencil into a sharpened one. That technology simply does not exist.
Little Guy
July 20th, 2009 at 8:23 am [Reply]

Sat9CL: Far be it for me to cheer Thorax’s nether regions, but anything to freakout Sister Sourscowl is okay by me.

yPhantom: This is the most headnekkid we’ve seen Kit.

MT: Should have called it on Friday. Nice that Mark has to tell sister about Brother RedShirt.

Luann: Admit it. Once Evans shits and gets off the pot, the arc is nice.

yLio: So many others for mashup…..
Hogenmogen
July 20th, 2009 at 8:29 am [Reply]

Wolverine has been hanging on to that thing since the fight? Where did he keep it?

MJ: Is that a tentacle in your pants, or are ya just happy to see me?
sugarpie
July 20th, 2009 at 8:32 am [Reply]

33, Sarah There is a poster on the Comics Curmudgeon named Dingo, who’s mere name strikes fear into those reading his posts while at work (evidently).
These Strange Worlds
July 20th, 2009 at 8:39 am [Reply]

Zits:

http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20090720&name=Zits

Let’s take inventory indeed…

Cat: Check
Bat: Check
Spell book: Check
Human skull: Check
Wand: Check
Aplle-shaped port key: Check

The inescapable conclusion is that our hero has just been accepted to Hogwarts School of Wizardry, and based on the skull and the severed heart, the sorting hat is going to placing him firmly in Slytherin House.
kris
July 20th, 2009 at 8:42 am [Reply]

who is that in crankshaft? i thought it was him. wtf?
Hogenmogen
July 20th, 2009 at 8:43 am [Reply]

Well, someone has to say it.
More information about adamantium can be found ON THE INTERNET!

Same with Adam Ant.

And Atom Ant.
These Strange Worlds
July 20th, 2009 at 8:52 am [Reply]

Mark Trail Book of Woodland Lore: Final Exam

http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20090720&name=Mark_Trail

As you inspect hazardous waste drums deep in the forrest, your companion is shot with a high powered rifle. You should immediately:

(1) Take cover. The sniper probably doesn’t want any witnesses.

(2) Compress the wound until bleeding subsides, then use your cell phone to call for professional medical assitance.

(3) Rip off your shirt and turn it into a tourniquet, then use two saplings to make a travois to drag the patient back to your jeep.

(4) Turn your back on the sniper and pick up the bleeding patient. Be sure to bend him nearly double and then run to the hosital as fast as you can.
Hogenmogen
July 20th, 2009 at 8:57 am [Reply]

Hillary and Faye blank out and stop listening to Ted’s increasingly bitter banter borne of a lifetime of pent up frustration. They fail to notice how he keeps himself refreshed with long draughts from his bottle of “Johnny”. Unbuckle those seat belts and jump now, girls. Because when he approaches hellacious speed and the road mysteriously disappears, you may be joining another haunted failure at the bottom of the comic revine.
These Strange Worlds
July 20th, 2009 at 8:58 am [Reply]

Johsreads Ethics in American Daily Comics: Final Exam

Is it more disturbing to think about a platypus having sex with a giant, blue-eyed amoeba, or more disturbing to think about a platypus having sex with a dog? Justify your decision by citing examples from Pluggers and Shoe. Would it be more or less acceptable for a platypus to have sex with a fox or a cat?

Bonus points: To the best of your ability, descrive the offspring that would result in a platypus/amoeba union. Would reproduction by fission make it more or less acceptable?
Pozzo
July 20th, 2009 at 9:03 am [Reply]

Not sure why a 15-year-old is sending drawings to Slylock Fox, but I think young Daniel Lewis of Tarzana, CA, may have a future in underground comix. (How far is it from Tarzana to San Francisco, anyway?)
buckyswife
July 20th, 2009 at 9:04 am [Reply]

MT: “What’s going on? What was that loud noise? And why is blood coming out of the front of your shirt? Are these two events related? Oh, how I wish Andy were here to explain this to me!”

DtM: Eating ice cream with ol’ Margaret and discussing cheesy pop philosophy? Way to menace, Mitchell.

MW: So Delilah makes a habit of taking off to spend time with meddling old women? Now presenting “Biddy Tour 09.”
Hogenmogen
July 20th, 2009 at 9:07 am [Reply]

#74 – These Strange Worlds: There isn’t any blood.

My guess is that Mark Trail is so dense that he doesn’t comprehend what just happened. He’s even asking near-dead Joey for detail. True enough, the lack of blood and odd sound effects were a bit confusing. “Wham!” “Pow!” Joey could have been struck by an invisible fist of justice, meted out by the concentrated collective anger of the forest life itself. That would be my guess at least.

But I also congratulate the author of Mark Trail for originality. This has NEVER been done before in all of recorded literature:

Joey: I’ll tell you who did this.
Mark: Go on.
Joey: The guys who dumped the barrels…
Mark: Yes?
Joey: Their names are…..
POW!
Joey: Arggh!
Mark: Is that Arggh Toxic Chemical Management Inc., or The Arggh Waste Disposal Co.? Tell me!
Hogenmogen
July 20th, 2009 at 9:14 am [Reply]

Alternate theories to Sunday’s FC:

1) The kids wanted a story, and Bil only sat motionless with his mouth open, feigning a coma. No way was he going to read sacreligious Rat stories to his kids. However, after the kids wander off, he secretly indulges himself, unable to resist the filth found within.

2) Bil has been eating a lot of beans…
Patrick
July 20th, 2009 at 9:25 am [Reply]

Say what you will about Mary Worth; I admire a spinster who keeps two full bowls of oranges and a gravity-defying coffee cup in her kitchen.
Hogenmogen
July 20th, 2009 at 9:32 am [Reply]

Lawrence looks a bit different today than the last time that we saw him. Of course, back then, we didn’t know that his “lecture travels” were really cover for a supervillian identity. Panel 1: He loosens his tie to reveal his spandex outfit beneath. Panel 2: He presses the secret button on his forehead that masks his face. He’s Spiderface! No, he’s The Inkblot! No, he’s Zebraman! This month, he teams up with THE MEDDLER. Together, they savage young Charlie and save the damsel from herself and her own evil lusts, that harlot.
Hogenmogen
July 20th, 2009 at 9:37 am [Reply]

Chron’s black & whites are still down. I have been cursed, stymied, prevented from finding out who is behind Gil Thorp’s Great Baseball Caper of 2009!

Who is it, damn you?? I MUST KNOW!!
Charterstoned
July 20th, 2009 at 9:41 am [Reply]

MW – Hey, that Spanish proverb should have read “Cuando hay amor, hay dolor” instead of “Where there is love, there is pain.” Otherwise, it’s an English proverb. And it just might have been foreshadowing (much like Lawrence’s face) of his headache. I’m just happy they’re having a conversation instead of thought balloons.

MT – “He ain’t heavy, he’s her brother.” How far does Mark have to carry this guy before they reach the hospital?
anonymous
July 20th, 2009 at 9:46 am [Reply]

Never mind all that! Do you notice in the Sunday Phantom the women, especially love-lorn Capt. Lara, all have male pattern baldness hairlines?

(I miss Space Ghost. And Brak. I swear to God, once in the middle of the night channel-flipping I lit upon Adult Swim and the cartoon character was a Talking Human Ass – as in pair of buttocks! Gave me nightmares, it did! They just don’t know what to put on AS, do they?)
survivor
July 20th, 2009 at 9:50 am [Reply]

CALL GHOSTBUSTERS, DELILAH! CALL GHOSTBUSTERS!

I have seen zero evidence that Mary Worth is NOT a poltergeist that’s been haunting Charterstone and its residents since at least the 1960s.
mvg
July 20th, 2009 at 9:52 am [Reply]

FW: “Prisoner exchange”? As a previous poster noted: In anything approaching real life, ain’t gonna happen. But in the Funkyverse, well, sure. Except Wally’s been in captivity for what, 10-12 years? By now he’s been thru the Manchurian Candidate course multiple times & will be returning to Westview w/plans to buy lots of fertilizer & rent a truck. May one suggest he park it outside Montoni’s? Pleeeeze?

MW: OK, so this isn’t the 1st time Delilah has gone walkies w/a suitcase full of one-button tops & fishnet pants. It’s not Lawrence’s travel that’s splintering their marriage; it’ her Bone-a-palooza tour of former boyfriends. But now she’s doomed herself by making the mistake of entering the Charterstone Alzheimer’s Enclosure (franchised from RMMD), where there ain’t no wandering allowed. The road before her is paved w/salmon squares & Mary’s increasingly unsubtle pleas that they watch her copy of “Caged Heat” together on Mary’s Betamax.

C-shaft: Batiuk forgot which strip he was drawing & time-jumped Crankshaft forward 5 years, thinking it was FW? Or we about to learn that the entire run of the C-shaft strip was actually just a delusion (a la the end of “St. Elsewhere”), in this case of an embittered, addled old man about to check out?
TheDiva
July 20th, 2009 at 10:04 am [Reply]

FW: Now, I admit my knowledge of the interior workings of this country’s armed forces is limited to a few disconnected anecdotes from my late grandfather, but I would assume there is some sort of protocol in place for ordinary soldiers talking with the press, and that it would include something along the lines of “don’t discuss sensitive matters with them, ever.” That’s the policy at my job anyway, and I would be a little uncomfortable if national security issues were in the hands of people less cautious than the public library.

MW: Lawrence gets a powerful migraine on hearing Mary’s name. The same thing happens to me when my sister-in-law is brought up.
queek
July 20th, 2009 at 10:06 am [Reply]

83: http://www.gocomics.com/gilthorp dundunDUN!

5: you’ll have to talk to some of the old regs for info on that particular ’ship. . . . .

26: *applause* I laughed coffee out my nasal passages upon reading that one.

comic snark: check out Doonesbury, looks like somebody on the comics page actually got some, unlike Brad, who’s hoping for a big “but” and doesn’t seem likely to get it.
queek
July 20th, 2009 at 10:09 am [Reply]

52 @ TrueFable: we have to deal with reruns OnDemand to get our fix of Kagome and Krew.
Dingo
July 20th, 2009 at 10:12 am [Reply]

Red Greenback #26: Y’all made me blush.
True Fable and sugarpie, thank you, too.

Sarah #33: I surmise that you’re not a creature of the demimonde. I have a furry body, a goatee, a slight belly, and a propensity for writing certain things to chill the hearts of those reading these missives at work. I am, ergo, a “bear.” Red Greenback was giving me a cyberhug with that comment.

Now, can we talk about Daniel Lewis, age 15, of Tarzana, CA? I fear that his grandmother will cut this out of her comics and place it prominently on her refrigerator so that all the girls in her mah-jong club must see it when they go for seconds on the sweet tea. Worse, he’s been referred to as a “terrific artist.” Okaaaaaaaaaaaaay. Did he draw that with a pen stuck between his toes because of a horrific accident that left him with dexterity only there? Is he “special?” Is he related to Bob Weber, Jr. and the only way Bob will get any peace at the next family reunion was to publish it? Sweet Marie of Romania!
Doug Puthoff
July 20th, 2009 at 10:19 am [Reply]

7-20

PBS–Another paper must have dropped PBS.
Larry McAwful
July 20th, 2009 at 10:19 am [Reply]

Today’s “Your Drawing” seems to be a young Sid Fernwilter from The Piranha Club.
Shoebox
July 20th, 2009 at 10:28 am [Reply]

Foob: Aaaaand continuity does a complete 180 from two freaking days ago. So, either last week was a glimpse into Mike’s self-pitying daydreams of miserable neglect, or this week is about Elly’s self-glorifying POV as Supermom?

It’s like some weird suburban Rashomon, only really really boring.
Artist formerly known as Ben
July 20th, 2009 at 10:29 am [Reply]

7/20

A3G: Margo knows that there’s really no wrong time to do a Travis Bickle impression.

9CL: Amos and Edda are quite lucky, in that it’s Sister Mary Agony looking down on them. If it were Snuffles the Cat from PBS, then they’d be screwed.

Archie: Timely as ever, as Archie leads a TM class while sitting next to a dormant lava lamp.

H&L: So there really is a continuiong plotline with Chip working as a camp counselor. Can we look forward to a Jason Voorhees cameo?

Lockhorns: Oops, forgot to draw Leroy with a mustache. Ah well, it’s not like anyone’s paying attention.

MC: That’s… disturbing. Still funny, though.

Phantom: It’s the opening number for Unknown Commander: The Musical.

MT: It’s as if the photo editor for Field and Stream had an idea for a Pieta tribute.

SFx: Shady Shrew’s luck was only about to get worse. In addition to the carrot theft, the judge found him guilty of using a bandana to cover his bals spot, a violation of the local style ordinance.
Artist formerly known as Ben
July 20th, 2009 at 10:35 am [Reply]

FW: Officially more padded than the homecoming queen’s bra.

DtM: How touching. I had no idea Margaret was Dennis’ AA sponsor.
DAS
July 20th, 2009 at 10:35 am [Reply]

Mary Worth is complaining about people making relationships, etc., more difficult than than they already are? Mary Worth? Mary “meddlin’” Worth? This is quite an exemplar of chutzpah along the lines of a child murdering his parents and then asking the court for mercy on account of being an orphan.
Calico
July 20th, 2009 at 10:49 am [Reply]

#7 – Looks like Leonard Cohen to me, perhaps after he just woke up at 1 in the afternoon after a show the previous evening.

Mary has instilled her fashion “sense” into Delilah-hence the rose-colored scarf.
Joe Btfsplk
July 20th, 2009 at 10:58 am [Reply]

Mary Worth – And we all feel that love, as we read this.

Family Circus – If I were Pastis, I would title my next Pearls collection “Pig and Rat Get Lost.” The Circus kids’ rejection of it would be the best endorsement possible.

The comments thread for that earlier Slylock strip decays into the most ineptly-executed run of spam ever.
Calico
July 20th, 2009 at 11:02 am [Reply]

#99 – Hello, I saw your post and I thought nice tuna casserole and Bum Boat could help.
We also sell cheap baseballs and ice cream cones
Uncle Lumpy
July 20th, 2009 at 11:02 am [Reply]

#99 Joe –

That’s mostly Osvaldo the candy-spammer. Some spammers go for profit, others for fame. Osvaldo’s got his eye set on pathos.
CanuckDownSouth
July 20th, 2009 at 11:10 am [Reply]

In A3G, Margo is nonplussed to have someone else titled their Holiness.

reFOOB is beginning to make my head hurt – it’s not just the parenting 180, it’s the continuity. With the right attitude, the huge whomping blunders are rather charming – as we watch the authour play a limbo game of “how low can the strip go”.

The little ones are like being nibbled by mosquitoes. In the last week:

Elly says Mike can’t play in the sprinkler, has no good reason, but says NO again to save face.

John sees Mike is bored and tells him to play in the sprinkler, to Mike’s delight.

The sprinkler disappears with no explanation and Mike tries to play in the sand with Lizzie

Mike and Laurence get annoyed with Lizzie wanting then not wanting sand toys, dialogue about it in an age-inappropriate way, say they’re bored and this time John tells them to go to the park. They don’t want to and start playing Hide-and-Seek.

Immediately thereafter, they want to go to the park – but be driven. Elly is A-OK with them walking to the park.

Immediately thereafter, Mike and Laurence are back wrestling for sand toys with Lizzie and Elly is yelling that they’ll _all_ go to the park.

So in the past week, we’ve had:

The Incredible Disappearing Sprinkler

The want/ don’t want OK/ not OK park whiplash

and timejumping around that sandbox.

I think we need to sic Dr Who or Torchwood on the Patterson yard to sort this out.
commodorejohn
July 20th, 2009 at 11:11 am [Reply]

A3G – Oh, Shulock. I love you, lady. I just have to wonder, though, what kind of religion would Margo found?

A.D. – Uhh…

BrS – Uh, yeah, that’s not sinister.

Crankshaft – HOLY FUCK WHY IS CRANKSHAFT ON A RESPIRATOR TOM BATIUK ARE YOU REALLY THIS SICK AND TWISTED OH WAIT OF COURSE YOU ARE. I mean, wow, I always counted on the fact that Crankshaft was some kind of immortal bastard who prolonged his life by harassing others or something, but…wow. …Jesus.

DT – Given that Bonnie appears to be older than seven, I can only assume that her determination to get her father to go to the circus is an attempt at psychological warfare, probably as revenge for a childhood full of closer-than-desirable proximity to mutant freaks and/or dangerous criminals.

FC – No. You’re not allowed to say that. Go away. The Keane Dynasty isn’t worthy to lick Andy Warhhol’s shoes.

FW – Wait, is that the T-1000? Man, what I wouldn’t give to see him running amok in the Funkerverse.

GA – END END END END END END END END END

GT – Oh man, I cannot wait to see where this is going.

H&L – I’m actually pretty impressed that Hi & Lois is attempting some kind of storyline. I don’t really expect Brenda Starr here, or even Judge Parker, but I am interested to see how this works out.

Luann – Oh God. Oh God. Jesus Christ, is she going to apologize for his never making the slightest move? Evans, fuck. You.

MT – I hate to be nitpicky, but that wound is clearly in the shoulder, well above the heart. Getting him to a hospital is still a fine idea, but I kind of doubt it’s as urgent as all that. For instance, you may want to set him down for a minute and try to take out the guy who was doing the shooting. Just a thought.

Marmaduke – Marmaduke is eating Hitler’s arm.

MC – Win.

Phantom – “He’s also Santa! His sleigh flies at mach 100!”

Popeye – Wow. That storyline was the biggest nothing I’ve seen since Tenchi Muyo.

PC – And where the hell is my flying car, anyway? I was promised flying cars!

SF – Good plan, Hil.

SM – Uh, yeah, and how do you know that, Peter Parker who is not Spider-Man!? Cripes, it’s a wonder the whole world doesn’t know your secret identity.
gkl
July 20th, 2009 at 11:12 am [Reply]

SF: Do you really go backwards when you’re swimming backstroke? I mean, you’re still moving in the direction of your head, which I’d consider your front when your actual front is parallel to the earth. Since you’re moving perpendicular to your front, maybe you’re moving sideways.

This type of philosophical quandary, as well as a healthy masochism, is why I swam butterfly in high school.
boojum
July 20th, 2009 at 11:16 am [Reply]

CanuckDownSouth:

In A3G, Margo is nonplussed to have someone else titled their Holiness.

To paraphrase Mae West: “Her Holiness had nothing to do with it!”
Calico
July 20th, 2009 at 11:19 am [Reply]

#101 – The Candy-Spam Man
The Candy Spam-Man can!

Oompa-Loompa! : )

If Margo were to try to meditate, the whole universe would implode, methinks.
commodorejohn
July 20th, 2009 at 11:21 am [Reply]

Also, in honor of the date, please enjoy footage of the first moon landing, accompanied by Pink Floyd.
boojum
July 20th, 2009 at 11:28 am [Reply]

Luann: Doesn’t Brad always there’s a big butt coming, really? I mean, the whole point of his plot line is that… oh, wait. I see my mistake.

And it’s nice that he can be so casual, since the fall clearly rebroke his wrist AND the cast that was supposed to protect it. When the hummer high wears off, he’s going to be screaming like TJ at a Jonas Brothers concert.

I have to say though, I like the touch of Toni’s little firefighter tattoo juuuuust peaking out from under her short sleeve. Notice how careful Evans has been to make sure it’s there and consistent in all three panels. That kind of attention to detail suggests to me that he actually meant Toni’s hair to look like it does. So… yeah, I’m confused.
boojum
July 20th, 2009 at 11:30 am [Reply]

108 me. “….always HOPE,” dammit.
tb4000
July 20th, 2009 at 11:33 am [Reply]

Luann: So B-Rad finally makes a move, now Toni, who has basically been hinting for a year or so that she wants to get into his JC Penney Levi’s, is backing off? I normally don’t get this involved in these fictional things, but SONOFABITCH!
Batman Beatles
July 20th, 2009 at 11:41 am [Reply]

Crankshaft – Could that old man be Ed’s dad or has it already been established that he’s dead?
gnome de blog
July 20th, 2009 at 11:44 am [Reply]

Delilah obviously needs a visit to Lost Forest, where she can be punched out by Cherry Trail.
UncleJeff
July 20th, 2009 at 11:54 am [Reply]

SF: “Your Drawing” — See, it’s so easy even a troglodyte can do it!
Luann: “…But, ya see. I’m here in this country illegally and I really need to establish residency somehow or I’ll get deported. I’m desperate. You’re desperate. Just don’t get any ideas about consummating this relationship.”
Love Is: Adding your own “special” photos to his “MySpace” spot and then calling the authorities.
AirForbes
July 20th, 2009 at 12:01 pm [Reply]

#65 crazyjerseygirl – It’s here:

http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20090719&name=Spiderman

It looks more like a flowchart to me.

More information from the Internet says that adamantium is supposed to be a “series of iron compounds” presumably with unobtainium.
Chyron HR
July 20th, 2009 at 12:01 pm [Reply]

Luann – “Oh, Greg, it was thoughtless and selfish of me not to enter into a serious relationship with you just because I only like you as a friend. I mean, Brad.”

Pluggers – The Actual Plugger’s Paradox: Bragging that they’re the hardworking salt of the Earth despite being fat, lazy sacks of [censored] who never come any closer to “work” than laying in their Lay-Z-Boys and struggling to breathe.
boojum
July 20th, 2009 at 12:12 pm [Reply]

Sunday Family Circle: If we didn’t know that comic strip artists themselves fill in the blacks, I’d think today’s installment was another misstep by the coloring monkeys. With those shoes, it looks like Thel was going more for Slutty Nurse. “It’s time for your sponge bath, Mr. Keane. Or are you feeling… piggish?”

I never read FC unless it’s linked by Josh. (I’m trying to save some pleasures for when I don’t have any teeth or bladder function.) But today I find myself torn. I never finished reading a book, only to find my children had somehow wandered off. But there were times when, after they fell asleep, I just… kept on reading. Who knows? Maybe this time, Harold might not be able to find his way home, even with his purple crayon. Best not take chances.

If you wanted to, you could read today’s strip as a modern fable. The aging culture (”literature”) is slowly losing its younger audience to the manic dance of technology. This technology, we see, not only separates them from culture but diminishes (”shrinks”) them. Adherents of the older culture, self-obsessed and unable to change, find themselves increasingly isolated and even mocked. They are left alone and ineffectual — yet, in a bittersweet irony, with the consolations of centuries-old tradition: a tradition whose value and beauty they know they have failed to pass on.

I could argue this. But that would mean that Family Circle means something. And who wants to live in that world?
Ned Ryerson
July 20th, 2009 at 12:12 pm [Reply]

Are Plugger chicken-people always women? I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a Plugger chicken-man (or rooster-man if you will).
Hogenmogen
July 20th, 2009 at 12:13 pm [Reply]

9CL has been literally stuck in a quagmire for about 4 weeks. And, what happened to mud on Sister Ogre’s habit?

Since Reggie is spooked in the final panel, I’d call Archie a Zen Master for projecting visible mental images up on the wall. Next, he freaks them all out when his hidden subliminal Freudian thoughts seep to the surface and Betty and Reggie watch as Archie is banging Veronica, Jughead, Moose, the dog and Bigfoot in the world’s most disgusting orgy.

The miasma that is reFoob: Was there supposed to be a joke here, or is it like Marmaduke, where you just get some random snippet of conversation nearby a big dog? Where is the big dog?

Speed Bump mentions current technologies, so it is automatically funny. However, in that list, it failed to mention a final blog post as an option, and is therefore not funny. Oh, the paradoxes that one encounters in funnyland, eh?

GA: I can never find enough there to snark on, so can I just mention the very fine set of breasts so prominently displayed?

I was just about to rag on Pluggers not comprehending the word paradox, when it struck me. Very subtle, Mr. Elkins from Madison, AL. Very subtle.
Hogenmogen
July 20th, 2009 at 12:16 pm [Reply]

FC: Don’t take off your jacket, no-name-ethnic-kid. Billy is making horrible puns so that you’ll leave on your own.
Jp
July 20th, 2009 at 12:26 pm [Reply]

Suddenly, with one picture, everything slips into place. Why Mary has been so inexplicably, incandescently furious. The obsession with Lawrence’s feelings. The shared special thing that is Rogers and Hammerstein. Lawrence’s absences. The lack of children.

Mary *is* Lawrence. A little drag, a smattering of Grecian 2000 and the illusion is complete.

There’s a twist coming up, and I think I can see what it is. Prepare to read the words “Mr Smith”, “sample” and “turkey baster” in close proximity any day now. Again.
Sequitur
July 20th, 2009 at 12:28 pm [Reply]

Sunday’s Spiderman.
This came out small on my computer screen. In the last panel I read the word “tentacles” as “testicles.”
It’s much funnier the second way.
Old School Allie Cat
July 20th, 2009 at 12:32 pm [Reply]

I am feeling genuinely disoriented by the comics today.

Crankshaft suddenly appears in a diminished capacity, Brad is having a serious conversation with Toni, Ted Forth got a burst of testosterone…

Something is very, very wrong here.
Muffaroo
July 20th, 2009 at 12:41 pm [Reply]

A3G – Margo re-enacts great movie lines. Next: “I mean funny like I’m a clown, I amuse you?”

S-Man – Maybe Wolverine could do a classic movie line: “You know Spider, you’re a fuckin’ mumbling stuttering little fuck. You know that?”

Bizarro – If he thinks that’s bad, wait until he finds out where the carrot goes.

Cshaft – Ha ha! And than ya die! Am I right? (Hey, what’s this spot on my arm?)

Crock – Lovely chicken, the Norwegian Blue. Beautiful plumage!

DTracy – Ha ha! Tracy mostly “arrests” their hearts. From beating! With his gun. And bullets!

FBasset – I never knew they spelled “puke” differently over there.

GThorp – “Reply hazy. Ask later.”

HtHorrible – Actually, in situations like this, Hagar always says things like, “I hope I remembered to send in the rebate form for my new golf cart.”

JParker – …saw this as “Ditto will be history in 48 hours!”

Luann – Huh huh: huge but! I might as well not even write anything; the other Mudges will be all over this like Trixie on paint chips.

My Cage – I think this might be the first case of insinuated cross-phylum bestiality in print comics. Let us all remember where we were on this day. He that shall live this day, and see old age, will yearly on the vigil feast his neighbours, and say, “To-morrow is Squishy’s Day.” Oh, yeah, and the moon walk thing too.

Mduke – Cut the dog some slack, Winslow! He’s been drinking paint again.

PCity – (Yes.)

6Chix – God, is it Wednesday yet?

SFox – We’re supposed to notice that the pencil point, which is drawn like the point of every other pencil ever drawn in a comic strip, is being held to a high value of precision — evidentiary precision — as opposed to, say, every other object in the strip.

[Also: A tip of the hat to Daniel Lewis of the Tarzana Knights!]

Soccerhead @31 – Ever see “Camp Runamuck”? It was a one-season sitcom back in the 60s; revived briefly by Nickelodeon about halfway between then and now so that I could ascertain how dismal it really was. [John C Fremont: I have a couple of episodes on tape. When a technical glitch knocks out part of the show, you'll sigh with relief.]

Chromium @46 – Good quote. Favorite scene.
Calico
July 20th, 2009 at 12:42 pm [Reply]

#118 – Re: FOOB –
It’s “Don’t ask, Tell!”

Hahaha.
Sparky AKA Able Bodied Seaman Craggy Fjord
July 20th, 2009 at 12:43 pm [Reply]

I do get the feeling that the fox is doing the dates for appearances.

Crank: Did Crankie do a timejump? And will Funktown become less cancer ridden with his passing?
Sequitur
July 20th, 2009 at 12:43 pm [Reply]

122
Submitted for your approval. One Old School Allie Cat who when doing one’s daily chore of reading all the comics, is mystified by seeming incongruities emanating from the strips. Perplexion is, of course, the expected form of emotion when one is inexplicitly thrust from normal time and space into the strange world of The Comics Twilight Zone.
Pendragon
July 20th, 2009 at 12:45 pm [Reply]

#95 re Lockhorns:- This finally establishes that Leroy’s jagged upper lip is supposed to graphically represent a mustache rather than him being in the bag all the time. Or the artist, for that matter.
Darkefang
July 20th, 2009 at 12:46 pm [Reply]

A3G: Martin appears apprehensive at the thought of Margo visiting with the Dalai Lama. I imagine he’s probably worried about how his holiness will react when Margo drops an F-bomb.

DT: The appearance of a regular human doesn’t bother me in real life, but in Dick Tracy, a regular human is an artistic horror. In real life, I find clowns to be frightening. I can’t even begin to imagine the nightmare that awaits me at a Dick Tracy circus.

FC: It’s called “pop art” because in his cartoons, our swollen heads look like they’re about to pop.
Old School Allie Cat
July 20th, 2009 at 12:49 pm [Reply]

#126 – Sequitur – that actually sums it up quite nicely.
Steve the Pocket
July 20th, 2009 at 1:04 pm [Reply]

I have no idea what’s going on in Crankshaft today. My guess would be that Batiuk has finally decided to throw in the towel and, in order to go out with a bang, time-warp the comic ahead a decade or so and kill Ed off in the final storyline in a way that he hopes will be “touching” but will end up being awkward and shark-jumping. I say “would be”, because let’s face it, that’s a best-case scenario.

In vaguely related news, I heard that Batiuk’s dad died recently. I was going to propose a moratorium on mocking depressing storylines in his comics on the grounds that they might have been written as a coping mechanism, but he writes so far in advance, and his comics are always so depressing already, that I wouldn’t know when we’re supposed to start. Certainly this recent development in Crankshaft, at least, is just a coincidence.
Jumper
July 20th, 2009 at 1:04 pm [Reply]

It is also plainly Simpsons episode 1018 the kids are watching, in which Reverend Lovejoy puts the entire family to sleep and in which Lisa dreams she is in Egypt. See the Sphynx? Anyway, in the end God allows only Lisa into Heaven but the rest of the Simpsons pull her down into Hell where they burn eternally.

This is also the only Simpsons episode the children are allowed to watch. It is a recording.
Baron Von Foobenstein
July 20th, 2009 at 1:06 pm [Reply]

I see no real indication that Daddy Keane (who has no eyeballs) is actually reading. I just see his YAP hanging open from panel to panel. To me, it looks like he’s sound asleep and snoring, and somehow still sitting upright holding the book!

The little knee-high bratlings got bored waiting for the story to start, so they made a bee-line for the TV. Besides, they knew Family Guy was coming on in less than 5 minutes.
Little Guy
July 20th, 2009 at 1:12 pm [Reply]

FW: THAT’S NOT HOW THE IRAQ WAR WORKS!

JP: DVito will be dead, and we’ll find out the person behind it is a) the country star, b) his Desparate Jungle Housewife, c) one of the Cheerleader Moms, d) the wastedumper mafia in Mark Trail, e) Dilbert’s pointy-headed boss.
Steve the Pocket
July 20th, 2009 at 1:13 pm [Reply]

ALSO NOW I HAVE “LET’S DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN” STUCK IN MY HEAD GODDAMMIT BATIUK
Little Guy
July 20th, 2009 at 1:14 pm [Reply]

9CL: Uh, no, that’s how The Old Man fell. She glowered at it.

That’s also how Fisk hit his homer in the ‘75 World Series and Mandy Moore got her first movie positive review.
Sequitur
July 20th, 2009 at 1:18 pm [Reply]

For What Its Worth Department:
I’m re-looking at the TV in the last panel of Sunday’s FC. At first, like everyone else, I assumed it was Bart Simpson. But what seemed strange was that it is apparently in a sea or ocean setting. That led me to deduce that it may be a Spongebob Squarepants episode. You know. That denizen under the sea that has a gay old time.
Joe Blevins
July 20th, 2009 at 1:18 pm [Reply]

MW: Mary Worth responds to the crisis the only way she knows how: by recreating her senior high yearbook poses.

SF: Is tug-of-war a “sport” now? Are there leagues? Tournaments? Sponsors?
Jumper
July 20th, 2009 at 1:29 pm [Reply]

That is, this episode 1018
http://www.thesimpsons.com/episode_guide/1018.htm

in which not only does Lisa dream she’s in Egypt, the Simpsons each dream they are living out Bible stories.

Sigh.
Sequitur
July 20th, 2009 at 1:38 pm [Reply]

Does Bil Keane even watch The Simpsons? Or Spongebob Squarepants. Or any television at all?
Buchholz Surfer
July 20th, 2009 at 1:47 pm [Reply]

SF: So tug-of-war is a sport now?

Maybe at the next Olympics, they’ll change the decathlon to these ten events: tug-of-war, three-legged race, sack race, pie eating contest, hide-and-seek, marco polo, thumb wrestling, egg-in-spoon race, and Summer Biathlon, which would be distance running combined with fishing.
Raul
July 20th, 2009 at 1:51 pm [Reply]

Phantom: Ok I’m new to the Phantom comic strip, so can someone explain why Kyone and Mihoshi are so keen on learning who the “Unknown Commander” is? Seem to me as long as their paychecks aren’t bouncing and they get their vacation days, who cares. I mean shouldn’t they be using their heighten investagative skills to better use like, oh I don’t know, murders, rapes, littering?
bats :[
July 20th, 2009 at 1:53 pm [Reply]

CS: I don’t this this is Crankshaft. Too little hair, too pronounced eyebrows (although both have black eyebrows). I think this is just a detour. Or whatever A&B consider a “cunning plan”…
cheech wizard
July 20th, 2009 at 1:57 pm [Reply]

Crankshaft – Don’t forget, Crankshaft is a WWII vet who was pitching in the minor leagues before the war. So in real life, he’d be in his late 80s, far removed from his school bus-driving days. So maybe today’s panel isn’t so much a leap forward as simply bringing him up to date. Or maybe the innocent school children whose life-sustaining blood he was feeding wised up to him.
bats :[
July 20th, 2009 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

MW: wow, from June 6-7 to July 20, the travel has really gotten to Lawrence:
http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20090607&name=Mary_Worth
Hell, I’d leave him, too, Delilah…
crazyjerseygirl
July 20th, 2009 at 2:00 pm [Reply]

# 114 ect. Yeah, iron compounds those are not.
Here is the best I can do. Remember, I’m not a chemist,so this is only my best guess. BTW I am also assuming that all the unmarked elements in the joints of the cyclical molecules are carbons as this is the norm inorganic chemistry
1.) This isn’t an actual molecule. The three attached cyclohexane (hexagons) rings should have a number of double bonds in there and cyclobutane (diamonds) is very unstable so I doubt it would show up in a molecule in THOSE configurations.
2.) Taking double bonding as an undrawn given the triple cyclohexane configuration might be anthracene (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anthracene) which is three linked benzene rings and isn’t a nice chemical.
3.) The lower, unattached ring might be a sugar as there is an oxygen (I think) in the lower place.
4.) All those cyclobutanes (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cyclobutane) are throwing me off….they are odd.
In conclusion, this isn’t a real molecule. It certainly isn’t an iron compound (I don’t even see the chemical symbol for iron; Fe) and while unstable I don’t think it’s all to radioactive.
Ok, I’m done, can I have my coffee now?
~Crazy
Marion Delgado
July 20th, 2009 at 2:00 pm [Reply]

Garfield: wow .. it sure was! But Liz .. who’s Brad?
cheech wizard
July 20th, 2009 at 2:01 pm [Reply]

P.S. – That’s a Toledo Mudhens cap – Crankshaft pitched for them – and the kid in the flashback is how Ed is always drawn as a child. He’s croaking – but that doesn’t mean Batiuk can’t pull back and continue the strip as a retrospective from now on. That would solve the whole problem of Shaft’s backstory as a WWII vet who still drives a school bus.
Sequitur
July 20th, 2009 at 2:17 pm [Reply]

One of the storylines of Crankshaft is that when Cranky was a minor league pitcher, he pitched an exibition game against the Detroit Tigers and struck out Hank Greenberg. Hank Greenberg played from 1930-1947. (This feat hasn’t been mentioned in the strip for quite a while.)
So Cranky would have had to pitch in that time frame. This could make him anywhere from 80-100 years old.
Yeah, it’s about time for him to ride that bus off into the sunset and be met by Saint Dymphna (Patron Saint of the insane).
StrangeRover
July 20th, 2009 at 2:17 pm [Reply]

SF: One of the six differences is the shape of the wolf’s black shit-stain on the ground.
Rana
July 20th, 2009 at 2:18 pm [Reply]

What I want to know, with regards to Family Circus, is who turned on the tv?

Billy’s expression in the first channel suggests that he’s heard the siren call of the boob tube, not that he’s suddenly recalled that one of his shows is on. The father and the other kids are on the sofa, along with both dogs.

So it’s either Thel or Kittycat. If it’s Thel (more likely), that puts a certain edge to her question in the final panel: “How’s your book, now that I’ve proven that no one in this family cares about you?”
Professor Fate
July 20th, 2009 at 2:22 pm [Reply]

123: Argggg! Now I have the Camp Runamuck theme song in my head (it’s endless loop of children singing “Camp Runamuck, Camp Runamuck, Camp Runamuck Runamuck Runamuck Camp Runamuck” over and over again) I think I saw two episodes of this disaster when I was very young. Other than the theme song I remember wondering why this was a comedy – I heard the laugh track of course but I for the life of me I couldn’t understand why.

FW: Tom’s story telling here consists of a) Telling us the punch line of the Joke and then telling the joke. Could you make it a bit more boring Tom? I’m almost asleep and this will help get me over.
ergooden
July 20th, 2009 at 2:29 pm [Reply]

No wonder the Keane kids wandered off, what with Dad sitting motionless on the couch for hours, holding that book, his mouth frozen in a grotesque “O”.
Calico
July 20th, 2009 at 2:33 pm [Reply]

#144 -What Th’ – no mashup from Bats? I’m devastated.
On the other hand, did you see your shout-out in MT on Sunday? (I had my Mom and her best friend visit us for 4 days or so, sos didn’t read the weekend comments. I also have laryngitis now so the internet today is A Good Thing ™).
Go Bats!
ergooden
July 20th, 2009 at 2:36 pm [Reply]

FC: No wonder the Keane kids wandered off, what with Dad sitting motionless on the couch for hours, staring blankly into space, holding that book, his mouth frozen in a grotesque “O”.
Rock Ripsnort
July 20th, 2009 at 2:39 pm [Reply]

#145–Jersey Girl, I asked one smartass question and I get a huuuuuge response. Why can’t I get this kind of respect at work? One more reason the interwebz beats real life, not to mention work. Thank you all!
cheech wizard
July 20th, 2009 at 2:40 pm [Reply]

148 – Sequitur – The Greenberg strikeout was before the war. Another part of the backstory that hasn’t been mentioned in some time is that Crankshaft never returned to baseball after the war – in one story, he just walks away from a post-war spring training camp, apparently because he’s too scarred by the war. But that would most likely make him about 86-90 right now.
crazyjerseygirl
July 20th, 2009 at 2:50 pm [Reply]

#155 ROCK
Hell, I just wanted the nerdcore title!
~Crazy
AirForbes
July 20th, 2009 at 2:56 pm [Reply]

#141 Raul – because they want to get in the unknown commander’s spandex briefs. Seriously, they just want to hit on him.
Muse of Ire
July 20th, 2009 at 3:03 pm [Reply]

#108 boojum — Forget her hair, what about her MOUTH?!
Muffaroo
July 20th, 2009 at 3:10 pm [Reply]

It’s odd, I remember the “Camp Runamuck” theme as an instrumental. I hear it briefly whenever it’s mentioned, then my mind wanders on to something else, like a sheep grazing.

As to Bil’s viewing, I recall there being a reference in the strip to him enjoying a talk show host whose name rhymes with Flush Flimshaw. This was back when said host also had a TV show, but I don’t recall which medium was mentioned. Discuss it at your peril — certain names appearing here bring drive-by troll attacks.
Crankenstank
July 20th, 2009 at 4:55 pm [Reply]

It’s strips like that that ruin Hating Family Circus for me. Just when I’ve become convinced once again the TFC is the ultimate nadir of treacly, unfunny, irredeemably dumb/cutesy strips (incidentally, it’s my five year old’s favorite, even counting Dennis the Menace), The Keane Konglomerate has to go and drop a hip inside joke on us in competition with a strip I actually not only enjoy but also occasionally even laugh aloud at. Way to ruin a good hate, TFC. I am now raising my fist at you ala Bill Shatner and cursing the heavens, “KEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNEEEEE!!!!!”
Brenda Starr Destroyer
July 20th, 2009 at 7:14 pm [Reply]

I’m disturbed by the way Slylock’s crotch is smiling at me through the window in the chair. What are three “sports” where you have to go backwards to “win”?
Erbn
July 20th, 2009 at 10:35 pm [Reply]

Daddy Keane’s expression is eerily similar to that of the Invasion of the Body Snatchers pod people upon discovering a surviving human in their midst. Perhaps the children are fleeing his unearthly shriek of alarm, or merely seeking to stave off sleep with television. Though who would honestly notice if this melon-headed group “changed” into a race of emotionless monsters.
Labdad
July 22nd, 2009 at 12:50 pm [Reply]

Now this is getting weird, even by Mary Worth standards! Apparently, Delilah put on her cranberry blouse and scarf to wander around Charterstone and think, but when she went back to her apartment to make “the call” she changed back into her yellow fishnet slacks and the halter top that made made Charley Smith go batshit! The suspense is killing me!

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