The Comics Curmudgeon

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Anatomical unlikeliness

The Lockhorns, 7/1/05

Rarely has the Lockhorns been accused of aiding and abetting the cause of good taste, but consider this: this panel could have described (or, worse, depicted) whatever kind of accident it was that somehow involved Leroy’s tongue. Think about it — but not too long, if you value your peace of mind.

Folks, the future Mrs. C. and I are off for a long weekend in the somewhat sunny San Francisco Bay Area, where we’ll be partying with our Left Coast friends and taking in a patriotic 4th of July wedding. This feature will return on Tuesday the 5th, or, you know, thereabouts.

This entry was posted on Friday, July 1, 2005 at 12:35 pm and is filed under Lockhorns.

214 responses to “Anatomical unlikeliness”

Wren Wah
July 1st, 2005 at 12:47 pm [Reply]

Uh, maybe Iâ€™m stupid, but I assumed that the â€œaccidentâ€ that damaged Leroyâ€™s tongue was 40 years of Lorettaâ€™s cooking. The implication is that, by comparison even hospital food tastes good, so his tongue was recovering from all of that abuse. Itâ€™s still not funny, but it makes sense in the context of the Lockhorn universe.
Bill
July 1st, 2005 at 1:01 pm [Reply]

Yep – I think the accident was non-tongue related; his taste buds are recovering due to the break from his wife’s cooking, badda-boom.
FredN.
July 1st, 2005 at 1:14 pm [Reply]

The worst part is that gigantor boner that Leroy’s sportin.
Wren Wah
July 1st, 2005 at 1:29 pm [Reply]

If you look closely, Leroyâ€™s hand does not seem to be connected to his arm. He must be taking some top drawer meds to be concerned with his taste buds when he has a severed limb.
Jazz
July 1st, 2005 at 1:43 pm [Reply]

Still, in the light of their rather problematic relationship, it is nice of Lorette to come visit.
Fence Post Frank
July 1st, 2005 at 1:44 pm [Reply]

Newseek article about PBS at

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/8424854/site/newsweek/
Nom du Jour
July 1st, 2005 at 2:19 pm [Reply]

I think that Leroy had a terrible industrial accident. He was drunk on the job again and was trying to test to see if the hi-voltage line was active by licking it.

ZZZZZZZZZZAAAAPPPPPPPP

btw, the big boner you see is a result of Loretta’s short micro mini skirt. Almost as short as what you might find in today’s Andy Capp.
Smitty Smedlap
July 1st, 2005 at 2:19 pm [Reply]

Ugh. No good. I thought about it for too long, and…ew.
Alan TheFamily
July 1st, 2005 at 2:30 pm [Reply]

I don’t think that’s a disconnected hand, I think he cut a hole in the sheet so he could give himself a surreptitious “morale booster”.
di
July 1st, 2005 at 2:32 pm [Reply]

Good article about PBS. Although I do wonder if Weingarten will soon be known more for his commentary on comics than his columns.
Wren Wah
July 1st, 2005 at 2:32 pm [Reply]

I always enjoyed the way “tarts” were depicted in Andy Capp. I assumed that Reg Smythe was using considerable creative license with the length of skirts. Then I visited London. Todayâ€™s example is downright prudish compared to some of the outfits I saw on the West End. Long live Brittania!!!
Peggy Gee
July 1st, 2005 at 3:04 pm [Reply]

The current “Pearls Before Swine” strips have been hilarious with Osama Bin Laden hiding out in The Family Circus.
dimestore lipstick
July 1st, 2005 at 3:25 pm [Reply]

His hospital bracelet is apparently color-coordinated to match the sheets. But they don’t match the pillow, the curtain, or that lovely rose-colored gown Leroy is wearing. Well, at least there isn’t any electric blue.

Question–if Leroy is going to have to leave the hospital eventually, and return to eating Loretta’s presumably dreadful cooking, why would he consider the return of his tastebuds a blessing?
Mooncity
July 1st, 2005 at 3:33 pm [Reply]

One thing I truly love about The Lockhorns is just how dated it is. And, belive it or not, I mean that in a GOOD way. When I say “dated”, I don’t mean dated as in “B.C.” or “Family Circus”, or even “Nancy”. No, in this case, I mean that it has managed to keep a real sense of style and design that just screams late 60s, early 70s. The clothes, habits, hairstyles, all of it. It’s fantastic. It’s strangely timeless, and it works. In fact, it always reminds me of a little known radio series called “The Bickersons”, which starred Don Ameche and Frances Langford.

Thanks to you Cardinals and Pope Josh, I’ve re-discovered (while researching Mary Worth, Gil Thorp, Apartment 3G, and Rex Morgan, MD) comics I thought were LONG dead. Did you know they still make a Sunday strip of “Flash Gordon”? And it looks all 1930s! “Mandrake the Magician”, and “Katzenjammer Kids” too. Haven’t seen those in forever, but it’s nice to see them still being put out there. Again, that’s dated in a GOOD way.

“B.C.” is another matter. There’s a comic WAY past it’s heyday. And does anybody notice the irony of a comic strip that features cavemen and dinosaurs (i.e., tacit acknowledgement of evolution), being put out by a dude who claims to have been “reborn” or whatever? Well, that’s mebbe a debate for another time, as I only discovered that tidbit about Hart through you Cards, and I’ve hated the comic for years anyway.

Now if only they’d bring back “Brick Bradford” and “Bringing Up Father”!
Adam-12
July 1st, 2005 at 4:00 pm [Reply]

I think it was mentioned before (probably in the other thread) but what is up with “Beetle Bailey” today? Are Beetle and Sarge on an acid trip or what? This is even more bizarre than the “under construction” of a couple months ago.

Speaking of bizarre, check out the eyeball close-up of Curtis’ mom. It’s almost Elrod-ian. On the other hand, as an allergy sufferer myself, I can sympathize with her.
gnome de blog
July 1st, 2005 at 4:31 pm [Reply]

Mooncity – Did you find Mandrake, Katzenjammer Kids and Flash Gordon at the kingfeatures site (which is always 2 weeks behind), or is there an up-to-date location?
Mooncity
July 1st, 2005 at 4:59 pm [Reply]

Sadly, just at the King Features site, gnome. Dunno if the Houston Chronicle or Washington Post comics sections carry links to the up-to-date editions of those strips. Surely some paper must carry ‘em if the syndicate is making new ones. “Mandrake” is a daily, I guess, while “Flash” is Sunday only (like “Prince Valiant”, which I also hadn’t read for a long time). But I guess something is better than nothing.
gnome de blog
July 1st, 2005 at 5:31 pm [Reply]

It could be that King Features is doing re-runs. Those three strips in particular exist pretty much outside our space-time continuum, so they don’t really require any contemporary reference points. Katzenjammer Kids is hopelessly outdated and stereotypical, but more often than you might expect, it’s downright funny. Some of the more “current” strips could take note.

Thanks for the reminder, Mooncity.
gnome de blog
July 1st, 2005 at 5:36 pm [Reply]

MANDRAKE GESTURES HYPNOTICALLY™

Think of what that power could do in the hands of, say, April Patterson.

Or Margo.

More hypnotic gestures, Mule.
Adam-12
July 1st, 2005 at 6:20 pm [Reply]

Margo doesn’t need hypnotic gestures; she makes ICED TEA.

Edda doesn’t need hypnotic gestures; she has sweaty alabaster thighs.

Rita doesn’t need hypnotic gestures; she has scotch, #&^$@&^$#!!

Now Gil Thorp, HE needs hypnotic gestures to convince papers to keep running his schlock.

(Kinda quiet around here today. Geez, you’d think there was a holiday or something.)
gnome de blog
July 1st, 2005 at 6:52 pm [Reply]

I dunno, Adam-12. I have a sneaky feeling that unless Rita can come up with a hypnotic gesture or two in the next month or six, Mare and Dr. Jeff are gonna send her to a place where they convince that scotch is not the reason for her miserable, worthless has-been existence.

And you’re right – it’s awfully quiet out there. But then, I’m on the left coast.
RBF
July 1st, 2005 at 7:45 pm [Reply]

Hey gnome, since you’re on the left coast, are you the one hosting Josh and the future Mrs. C this weekend? Is it YOUR wedding they’re traveling to? If so, ‘grats and ‘dolences! (that’s what I always to say to friends who are taking the dreaded step.)

And I agree …. Ritzilla (alky or not), at the hands of Jeff and Meddlin’, is doomed to be committed to some Rehab Center, who will no doubt also provide Bill Gates-type job-training, so that Rita may once again be an extremely deleriously happy Nine to Fiver like the rest of us. What an aspiration!

How enviable!

Can’t wait for tomorrow’s strip, when she barfs all over Dr. Jeff’s leather interior on the way back to Mary’s, causing Jeff to lose control, and…. oh! The Irony!
Speed Racer X
July 1st, 2005 at 7:51 pm [Reply]

Re: Sally Forth, Poor Ted can’t catch a break. Even when he conspires to get a hobby that will allow him some semblance of control over something (even if it’s only a bunch of 12-year-olds), Ol’ Smirky ends up taking over his “man” time, not only making herself a coach but, compounding Ted’s emasculation, demanding that he hand over even more power to her after telling him that her objective ISN’T going to be winning. Talk about being stuck between a rock and a hard place: Tell your wife to Kiss off, you’re the coach or endure a summer of humiliation and the ire of all the neighbors who blame you for their kid’s failure.
Oh, come on, you don’t think Sally would step up and shoulder some of the blame, did you? One snide comment and smirk and Wham! poor Ted is served up John the Baptist style to the angry mob.
RBF
July 1st, 2005 at 7:55 pm [Reply]

And we can’t forget the Luann-ism today in A3G.

“It’s just as easy to fall in love with a serial killer as it is to fall in love with a cop.”

“It’s just as easy to fall in love with a Priest as it is to fall in love with Michael Jackson.”

sheesh! this could go on forever. What a ditz.
RBF
July 1st, 2005 at 7:59 pm [Reply]

I have to admit, I agree Speed (I gave Beasley a hard time last night but didn’t really mean it).

Sally, give your hub a break and back off.
RBF
July 1st, 2005 at 8:05 pm [Reply]

The point being, not that she isn’t capable, but this is HIS thing right now. If only couples could grasp that everyone needs his/her space, don’t you all agree there would be a lot fewer marital problems/divorces? Marriage sucks, cause most people just don’t get it.
RBF
July 1st, 2005 at 8:10 pm [Reply]

And btw, I think I figured out this Lockhorns accident.

He was “one of the few” who took Cialis and experienced an erection of 4 hours or longer… see your doctor.
RBF
July 1st, 2005 at 8:14 pm [Reply]

… if you CAN…..
(how tall is he?) my bad
Adam-12
July 1st, 2005 at 8:20 pm [Reply]

I think I’d see all my old girlfriends first, and then call my doctor.
RBF
July 1st, 2005 at 8:26 pm [Reply]

No, then you’d have to see a cardiologist!

Or a Priest:

Adam: Father? I’m here to say I’ve screwed 8 women in the last 4 hours.

Priest: Are you here to make a Confession, Son?

Adam: No, I’m not a Catholic. Just had to tell someone!
Fence Post Frank
July 1st, 2005 at 8:28 pm [Reply]

Coming Saturday in Bile Thorp . . .

What’s Her Name is seen saying “I like you, Marty, But I can make a difference in Buffalo!”

What she really is saying is “This is my chance to get out of this stupid ass town! Ya Hoo!!!”
RBF
July 1st, 2005 at 8:31 pm [Reply]

Not to mention, “this is my chance to find a *^$%& hair stylist! YAH!”
Adam-12
July 1st, 2005 at 8:36 pm [Reply]

She’s gonna shake the dust of Mil*ford offa her feet and head for the bright lights and action of….Poughkeepsie!
Innocent Man
July 1st, 2005 at 8:39 pm [Reply]

I love the comment someone made about Marty’s hot-buttered yak hair (I think it was Islamorada Girl on the second thread). Too monitor-spewing.
Innocent Man
July 1st, 2005 at 8:44 pm [Reply]

You go Girl!

(anywhere but here)

Especially if yak-hair guy is the best you can do.
RBF
July 1st, 2005 at 8:58 pm [Reply]

Yeh Comment #91 on previous thread where I/Girl refers to Marty’s hair as “Hot-buttered yak wool”
priceless!

Hell, even “The Donald’s” looks better than that (barely).
Adam-12
July 1st, 2005 at 9:20 pm [Reply]

Why do the “soap-opera” strip writers even try to draw realistically? It just comes out looking goofy. I know that quality writing and plotlines have a lot to do with it, but maybe if they quit trying to make everything so detailed it would come out better. Maybe that’s one of the reasons I like “Annie” so much. It’s a serial strip, but the (pupil-less) characters are clearly drawn as comic-strip style people so it seems, I dunno, more believable. If “Gil Thorp,” “Mark Trail,” et al would just stop trying so hard, maybe it wouldn’t be such dreck.

Well, either that or they’re just a bunch of no-talent hacks…
RBF
July 1st, 2005 at 9:45 pm [Reply]

Hear you Adam, check out the link on Comment #6, Pearls.
I had never read that, since we don’t have locally, but goes to show…. you don’t need to draw. just write. (even in the Comics).

Scroll down for the article – it’s worth it.
PizzaBagel
July 1st, 2005 at 11:32 pm [Reply]

Boyd of Boyd Enterprises™ wants the Eminent Mark Trail to join him and the Scotts (I’m now assuming that Scott is not the guy’s first name.) on their Grand Fishing Trip: “You can pick the place as long as it is in a wilderness area where we can latch on to some big ones!” (Ahem!) To which MT replies, “How could I resist an invitation like that?” (Double ahem!) Sounds like some homoerotic code language going on between the two – who apparently have some kind of a history already.

And what’s with the weird position into which Mark twists his leg in panel one?
RBF
July 2nd, 2005 at 12:05 am [Reply]

Ahem, Mark ALWAYS does that twisty-leg thing when BOYD calls him.

I.E., fishing? worms, etc?

Yeah, that’s right.
RBF
July 2nd, 2005 at 12:17 am [Reply]

Not only does the twisty-leg thing kick in, but Mark’s hair mysteriously loses color, every time he hears Boyd’s voice on the phone!

Wow, what the love of money doth be the root of all that be Evil
RBF
July 2nd, 2005 at 12:19 am [Reply]

(apologies to Will S.)
Islamorada Girl
July 2nd, 2005 at 8:00 am [Reply]

In Saturday’s MW. note how Ritzilla’s hair turns from auburn to charcoal after Jeff starts in on her. Meanwhile, Mary yet again goes into denial!

Denial. It’s a river in Mary Worth. This is going to be a long, long storyline, folks.
illogickel
July 2nd, 2005 at 8:04 am [Reply]

In regards to today’s FBOFW… somehow I just can’t see 8th grade “grad” as on occasion where a song with the words “this is the last year of our childhood” is really relevant. Or maybe they just grow ‘em fast in Canada. Or maybe Becky’s just saying that now it’s okay for her to go all roadside™ with the high school boys.

Or may be I’m just a curmudgeon. ;)

That said, I’m glad Lynn used a comic (Thurday’s) to point out what we were all thinking – why exactly is 8th grade “grad” such a big deal.
Mooncity
July 2nd, 2005 at 9:24 am [Reply]

Ah, yes, more Heavy Meddle from Mary Worth. No doubt Rita needs a verbal smackdown from Jeff, but Mary’s all for ignoring the problem (until she gets Rita home, alone, where Rita has no escape).

I really can’t see what Jeff wants from Mary unless it’s her inheritance. I mean, Mare just cuts him off every time! Remember, Jeff and Mary have planned a “joint appearance” (can’t really call it a date). Then Mary just up and invites Rita out of the blue, and puts Jeffers on the spot with the classic, “You don’t mind — RIGHT?” Well what can Jeff SAY? Then today, Jeff is about to tell it like it is to this rummy, and Mary butts right in and cuts him off. And she gives him the daggers-of-death stare, too! Jeez!

Jeff must not have much in the way of self-esteem if he lets Mary just walk all over him like that. Oh, and let’s not forget; WHO is gonna be stuck for the dinner check? Right! Doc Jeff!

Nothing I’d like more than for Jeff to call Mary on her rude behavior. But he needs to find some manliness first! Maybe he should chuck doctoring and take up archeology?
Dondi
July 2nd, 2005 at 10:20 am [Reply]

I’m not sure if the waiter really is Jesus … but strange things are happening. Not only has Rita’s hair-color changed, as I-girl noted, but the waiter’s own hair has changed from blonde in previous strips to black as he wipes the remnants of the baby blue goo from his face in Panel 1 today. Granted, “The Changing of the Hair Color” doesn’t exactly rank up there with changing water to wine or healing lepers, but it’d be a great party trick nonetheless.
Dondi
July 2nd, 2005 at 10:27 am [Reply]

Not only does Mary give Jeff the daggers-of-death stare, Mooncity, but also the patronizing patting of the forearm. I haven’t seen a literary character this emasculated since “The Short Happy Life of Frances Macomber.”
Mooncity
July 2nd, 2005 at 10:33 am [Reply]

Yup, poor ol’ Jeff Wayne Bobbit Corey.
Irina
July 2nd, 2005 at 11:36 am [Reply]

You all missed it. The waiter’s change of hair color from blond to black is merely the first visible stage in the remarkable transformation of Clark Bent into “The Cocktail”! (cue superhero music here).

Watch next week as The Cocktail ™ jumps highballs in a single bound! Faster than a Speedball! More powerful than an alterior motive!

Finally, even though Mary has silenced Dr. Jeff with a single glare and a touch to the wrist, notice the change in features on Jeff’s face — that one touch is probably the most physically intimate he’s ever been with that vixen Mare.

His heart must have just burst with passion! Well … maybe not his heart, but some other organ. “Um, Mary … if you’ll excuse me … I need to visit the restroom to … um … clean up.”
Irina
July 2nd, 2005 at 11:37 am [Reply]

… and over to Mark Trail, I have a question. Boyd of Boyd Enterprises ™ and Mark are bubbling over with schoolgirl excitement about how long it’s been since they’ve seen each other — “can’t believe it” “long time” “old fishing friend”, ad nauseum.

If Mark Trail is “Forever 32″ ( http://www.kingfeatures.com/features/comics/mtrail/charactMaina.htm ) how far in the past can this fellow Boyd be in the past? On old geezer like Boyd probably wouldn’t consider someone to fall into the “old friend” category, unless he’d know him at least a score of years … which’d put Mark into pre-adolescence.

Hrm. On second thought, if it was a Michael Jackson like relationship, perhaps that explains all the innuendo and leg wiggling …
Fence Post Frank
July 2nd, 2005 at 12:26 pm [Reply]

From the King Features web site.

Who wrote this “amazing” dribble?

Mark Trail
Forever 32, this handsome outdoorsman and photojournalist for Woods and Wildlife magazine spends his days hunting, fishing and pursuing simple pleasures. But all too often his woodland paradise is threatened, and that’s when Mark Trail springs into action! When not plying his trade, Mark is preserving the nation’s dwindling wetlands, fighting the crass commercialism that is creeping into even the most remote forests, protecting wildlife from poachers, and keeping America’s greatest natural treasures free from the thugs, gangsters and goons who sometimes invade it. When Mark’s not on the trail, he returns to his charming country house on the Lost Forest Game Preserve, where he relaxes with his wife, Cherry, and his beloved dog, Andy. Mark’s single most important goal: to preserve the integrity of the American wilderness for future generations.

Cherry Davis Trail
When Cherry and Mark finally married after years of courtship, she thought her troubles had come to an end. However, this lovely brunette is often right in the middle of some natural catastrophe, or inadvertently up to her pretty neck in some criminal caper. Willful and headstrong, Cherry literally grew up in the Lost Forest National Park. Her love of the woods, waters and wildlife it contains is fully as strong as Mark Trail’s.
Mooncity
July 2nd, 2005 at 12:51 pm [Reply]

When Cherry and Mark finally married after years of courtship, she thought her troubles had come to an end. However, this lovely brunette is often right in the middle of some natural catastrophe…

This helps us to date the Mark Trail Universe. I would estimate that this is an attitude which pretty much died out sometime in the 1970’s; that if a girl got married, “all her troubles would be over.” So MT obviously is not part of the modern world, and therefore is dated in a BAD way (unlike “The Lockhorns”).

And the “catastrophe” Cherry finds herself in is obviously the “Mark Trail” comic strip!
Marc
July 2nd, 2005 at 3:34 pm [Reply]

Check out my blog for more coverage!! Leave comments!
Islamorada Girl
July 2nd, 2005 at 3:59 pm [Reply]

Do y’all think the Cocktail’s real name is Harvey Wallbanger?
Bill Peschel
July 2nd, 2005 at 5:52 pm [Reply]

Oh! Oh! I have to spill the beans! Garry Trudeau is going after bloggers in Sunday’s strip. Thrill as Megaphone Mark Slackmeyer interviews “Slamz88″ on the radio. Count the number of zits “Slam” bears. Laugh as Mark categorizes blogging as “for angry, self-employed losers who are too untalented or too lazy to get real jobs in journalism.”

There’s even a blog-related punchline on the Lockhorns!

Meanwhile, giant radioactive Cape Buffalo menace white big-game hunters in Mark Trail, the emasculation of Dr. Jeff continues on the drive home from the restaurant, and Tom Batiuk continues writing off his trip to Paris in “Funky Winkerbean.”

It’s going to be a hot time in the Sunday funnies tomorrow, cardinals.
Fence Post Frank
July 2nd, 2005 at 8:03 pm [Reply]

Alright little Billy boy, instead of spilling the beans, how about spilling where on-line you see the Sunday comics so early? Or do you have your Sunday paper already?

Cough it up, or you will be sharing a room with Buck Chuck.!
RBF
July 2nd, 2005 at 8:22 pm [Reply]

I think one of Bill’s prev. noms was “King of the Paperboys” (or something similar). We’ve all missed him.

And, as long as I’m surmizing (sp?) methinks he and/or his offspring delivers newspapers. I remember when my brothers did, and they actually received them the night before.

Even though I was only about 12 at the time, I thought that was WAY COOL that I could read the comics a day early!

And yeh, even then, I was already hooked on A3G and Meddlin…. go figure.
RBF
July 2nd, 2005 at 8:35 pm [Reply]

And thanks to whoever of my fellow Cardinals (more than one) referenced Pearls Before Swine…. that is truly a funny one. The author deserved that write-up in Newsweek (comment #6). Today’s is a follow-through on the Family Circus story line — funny!

But of course we EVIL Cardinal College members prefer the BADLY-DRAWN, badly-written strips so we can diss em.
Bill Peschel
July 2nd, 2005 at 9:01 pm [Reply]

I wish I could reveal superhero powers, like being bitten by a radioactive paperboy, but, alas, I work for a newspaper, and at times on the job I come across the comic pages in advance.

But, I promise, it’s a power I will use only for good, not for EEE-VIL!
RBF
July 2nd, 2005 at 9:41 pm [Reply]

Good for you Bill!

Can you imagine the profits in predicting…. oh, the sports scores? No… wait….
Speed Racer X
July 2nd, 2005 at 9:56 pm [Reply]

Check out Rex Morgan getting in between his lover… err patient, and his family. I hear that happens alot in families where the father disapproves of the son’s lifestyle….err Job.
PizzaBagel
July 2nd, 2005 at 10:01 pm [Reply]

!!!Irina, some really spew-worthy comments on MW (#49) and MT (#50), esp.:

His heart must have just burst with passion! Well â€¦ maybe not his heart, but some other organ. â€œUm, Mary â€¦ if youâ€™ll excuse me â€¦ I need to visit the restroom to â€¦ um â€¦ clean up.â€

And classic observations from Mooncity re MW throughout #45!

My two cents regarding Mary cutting off Jeffo as he’s about to chide Ritzilla: Let him finish his part of the script before you take over in your Good Meddler (Mary)/Bad Meddler (Jeff) routine. You think that after all these years you two would have had that act down pat.

So much for my hope that Mary would put Rita in her place with an ear tug and a stern lecture. (Comment #103 in the “You wouldnâ€™t like her when sheâ€™s angry” thread.)
PizzaBagel
July 2nd, 2005 at 10:11 pm [Reply]

One mo’ thing re today’s MW: I’m guessing that “Background Guy” in panel one (not Bones McCoy from Friday) is a lawyer who’s about to hand Clark Bent his card, trying to drum up some liability business. Unfortunately, Rita is flat broke, so presumably he’ll find a way to sue the pants off her hosts, Mary and/or poor, emasculated Jeff.
Adam-12
July 2nd, 2005 at 11:14 pm [Reply]

More disturbing Beetle Bailey today (er, Saturday that is). An even worse image than how Leroy Lockhorn’s tongue was injured: General Halftrack and Mrs. Halftrack “fooling around.” Poor general though; he’s clearly not happy about playing hide and go seek. Unless it’s a form of foreplay….ugh, I’m sorry I mentioned that. I don’t think I’ll sleep tonight.
PizzaBagel
July 2nd, 2005 at 11:44 pm [Reply]

Yeah, Beetle Bailey has been pushing its own lame envelope in ways unimaginable lately. Truly frightening at times. (Friday’s “acid trip,” the “under construction” one, the “love your gun” one, the one in which Sarge gets demoted, ad nauseam)
PizzaBagel
July 2nd, 2005 at 11:55 pm [Reply]

Re today’s Family Circus: How long have Dolly and P.J. been staring into the setting sun? Like enough to cause severe retinal damage, maybe?

And in Wary Mirth, Jeff channels Frankie Valli. Very gewd!
loudfan
July 3rd, 2005 at 12:38 am [Reply]

I’m so disappointed that Josh won’t be holding a Konklave on the West Coast! The San Francisco Bay area Kardinals would love to get together with our fearless leader.

Incidentally, the WashPost seems to post the Sunday comics a little earlier than the Houston Chronicle, if ya’ just can’t wait for the further adventures of Rita (not nearly enough swearing in Sunday’s comic for my taste):
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/artsandliving/comics/index.html
Frank Drackman
July 3rd, 2005 at 8:02 am [Reply]

Why does the nerd in Luann have pubic hair on his head? And what kind of jet is that Jeffy and Daddy are flying in? the windows are HUGE, I guess Osama is up near the cockpit. In Spiderman the Rhino looks like hes havin anal with spidys gf. Beetle Bailey is really disturbing with General Halftrack and his Fraus foreplay sorta like Barney Frank doin an ad for Viagra.
Adouble
July 3rd, 2005 at 10:41 am [Reply]

B.C. is boatloads of precious today. “Then divine intervention got into the act/and created the best constitution on Earth/It even protects those ‘naysayers-of-fact’”. I like that “naysayers-of-fact” is in quotes even though I don’t think anyone has ever used that phrase before (google returns 0 hits). I’d guess it’s in quotes to make sure you realize that Mr. Hart was using the phrase “Godless heathens who believe in evolution” until his editor made him change it.
Islamorada Girl
July 3rd, 2005 at 1:16 pm [Reply]

I hate comedy of frustration, but that’s what we’re getting in Mary Worth. The Mother Theresa of the Comics Pages is really grinding me. How much more crap does she have to take off Ritzilla before she drags the old sot off to AA? Will she burn Mary’s apartment down and steal Jeff? Can’t wait until she goes after the Perfesser and Wilbur at the pool. Will The Cocktail come to her rescue? Make that a double and #*%*)O^@, boy!
Zipper the mule
July 3rd, 2005 at 1:29 pm [Reply]

Sheer laziness or too many Electric Blue Bustiers? Who knows? What I do know is I’ve been staring blanky at the Jason’s Jumble in Fox Trot for like half an hour. Are those real words?
Dondi
July 3rd, 2005 at 1:31 pm [Reply]

Fans of Calvin & Hobbes might be interested in this article from this morning’s Kansas City star. It mentions a forthcoming C&H compendium, and talks about Bill Watterson’s resistance to marketing.
loudfan
July 3rd, 2005 at 1:31 pm [Reply]

Fox Trot features a Jumble today:
http://www.ucomics.com/foxtrot/
My brilliant husband actually managed to solve it… I’ll check back later in the day to see if anyone wants me to provide the answer, or if anyone cares. I guess most people are too busy enjoying the holiday weekend to hang out on this board!
loudfan
July 3rd, 2005 at 1:33 pm [Reply]

Wow, Zipper, we must have been posting at exactly the same time! Yes, they are real words (well, the first one is a proper name, which of course would never be allowed by the real Jumble creators!). Hint: the four jumbled words spell out a sentence.
Frank Drackman
July 3rd, 2005 at 1:40 pm [Reply]

Mrs. Lockhorn looks like Mr. Lockhorn in drag.
Zipper the mule
July 3rd, 2005 at 1:54 pm [Reply]

“Wow, Zipper, we must have been posting at exactly the same time.”

Yes loudfan, this blog is creepy that way.

“Hint: the four jumbled words spell out a sentence.”

Ok, It’s late enough in the day that I can use my Bombay Sapphire colored glasses and see if that helps. Otherwise, I will be begging for mercy, more olives, and the answers.
Islamorada Girl
July 3rd, 2005 at 4:12 pm [Reply]

Are newspapers afraid the God Squad will take them out if they drop B.C.? Certainly even the most fanatical must think it’s just not funny.
Adam-12
July 3rd, 2005 at 4:51 pm [Reply]

I, too, was perplexed by the word jumble in today’s “Foxtrot.” C’mon loudfan, you can give us a hint. I promise not to tell.

Since there’s no “Gil Thorp” on Sundays, I guess I’ll just have to say ‘death to BC.’ I know this has been mentioned many, many, many (many…..) times before, but THEY’RE FREAKIN’ CAVEMEN!! What do they know of God, or the United States, or anything beyond fire and the wheel? Dammit, if I want preachy I’d go to church!

Mary Worth must be even more bipolar than Rita. Whenever Ritzilla goes off on a drunken escapade, Mary looks like she could bite the head off a chicken. But as soon as Jeff goes in for the kill, the old gray Mare calls him off. I keep hoping for a good geriatric catfight, but I doubt it will come. Maybe Mary just plans on “tsking” Rita to death.

Is “Demetrius’ Greek Restaurant” on the same block as “Wojciehowicz’s Polish Restaurant” and “Luciano’s Italian Restaurant?” And does Luann often get all dressed up for a date and then run through a lawn sprinkler? (Couldn’t we at least get a wet T-shirt shot?) Futhermore, are there many lawn sprinklers in Manhattan?
Adam-12
July 3rd, 2005 at 5:00 pm [Reply]

Also just checked in with “Brenda Starr.” They get attacked by someone wielding a rolling pin?? Who was the assailiant, Andy Capp’s wife??
lyndon
July 3rd, 2005 at 5:22 pm [Reply]

Oh god the horror of brenda starr
it used to have sanity I swear
now it’s reduced to shoulder-devils and angels
as well as a rolling pin
“Oh look, someone running aound with a rolling pin, I’d better not easily grab them and or take them down, it’ll ruin my hair.”
I think she hasn’t washed that hair in the howevermany years that comic’s existed, now it’s just a gleaming plate of hairspray and journalistic determination.
Adam-12
July 3rd, 2005 at 5:42 pm [Reply]

Yeah, I’ve noticed the devil/angel thing before. Also, what’s with the sparkle effect? Does she have herself coated in glitter before leaving the house (and how do I apply for that job, by the way)? I don’t follow “Brenda Starr” much (in fact, I don’t think I’d ever heard of it before I got sucked in here) so I don’t really have a clue as to who these people are or what they’re supposed to be doing. She is, however, more pleasant to look at than Mark Trail.
Bill Peschel
July 3rd, 2005 at 6:35 pm [Reply]

Psst, if you want the answer to Foxtrot, Bill Amend published the answer on his site (it’s a click away from the link below).

http://homepage.mac.com/billamend/

If you just want a hint, Jason is doing to Paige what he usually does with his parody strips. The second, third and fourth words are commonly found in the language, and the answer is a scientifically-based pun.

Second hint about the answer: Figure out what you would expect the sentence to be, then see if there’s a word found in science that sounds the same. (And, yes, the fact that the victim is a particle physicist is a clue).

It’s a tough answer; I wasn’t aware of the word until I googled it. Clever man, that Bill.
loudfan
July 3rd, 2005 at 7:43 pm [Reply]

“Are newspapers afraid the God Squad will take them out if they drop B.C.? Certainly even the most fanatical must think itâ€™s just not funny.”
Hmm… I suspect that the God Squadders just like the fact that a “Christian” strip is taking up real estate on the funny pages, and they would scream bloody murder if it were taken away and replaced by some pagan nightmare like Pearls Before Swine. Perhaps this could create an opening for a FUNNY Christian comic strip to come along and replace B.C. — you know, the way a bunch of papers dumped either “Curtis” or “Jump Start” when “Boondocks” came along because editors apparently think that one token black strip is enough. I don’t share Hart’s worldview, and I think the strip sucks donkey balls, but I swear it’s the fact that the strip is about cavemen and titled “B.C.” that gives me conniption fits on a daily basis.
Beasley
July 3rd, 2005 at 8:26 pm [Reply]

I, for one, am miffed that NO ONE has missed my absence over the past few days! To alluva ya’…#x@X% !

And getoffamylawn!
Mooncity
July 3rd, 2005 at 10:14 pm [Reply]

Yeah, again, I have to point out the irony of a comic about cavemen and dinosaurs being cranked out by a guy who’s [now] religious. Of course, he came up with “B.C.” back when he was still a hellion (I guess), and now it’s a meal ticket. So he can’t just stop using cavemen and dinosaurs, even though doing so implies agreeing with Evolution rather than Creationism.

In other words, “Do I go with my Faith, provided by my belief in God and the Lord’s teachings, or with the secure job that puts food on my table? Hmmm… Hey! Steaks are about done, honey!”

Gotta love that moral dogma!

And while we’re on the subject of Hart, I wish they’d dump The Wizard of Id! Geez, I hate that comic, too!
Islamorada Girl
July 3rd, 2005 at 10:23 pm [Reply]

Well, Brenda Starr has been around since at least the 50’s and probably longer. Her original creator, Dale Messick, had her decked out like a cheap Christmas trash tree, so she looked like a fashion victim. Totally glam. I think those little things under her eyes are a vestigial remnent (sp) of those old glamour girl eyelashes she once sported. Since the strip was revived by two working journalists, it’s a lot more realistic.Not true to most reporter’s lives, but more real. And I like it, because I’ve been reading it all my life and have a soft spot for it. You know, being a journalist and all. My favorite part is that everyone in the newsroom HATES everyone else in the newsroom, which has been true everywhere I’ve worked, small town schamtas or major urban dailies.

What? Oh, you asked about the rolling pin assault. I think, but don’t quote me, that the bathrobe wearing, rolling pin wielding assailant is either Bill O’Reilly’s longsuffering wife or Brenda’s gay pal, Spliff. My money’s on the ls wife.

Forgive me. I just staggered in from a party where I was drinking some kind of fifty buck a bottle Polish vodka that was faaaaabulous. If anyone knows the name of this brand, whose bottle looks like a church spire, please tell me. Next banana boat that comes in, I want to buy a bottle of this stuff. It’s so smooooth. Like drinking silk. Makes Grey Goose taste like the shine my uncle used to make in North Carolina back in the day.

Oh, and all you Cards will be happy to know Bombay Sapphire was being served.

I gotta go fall down on something soft now. This bustier is killing me.
Dub Not Dubya
July 3rd, 2005 at 11:00 pm [Reply]

Well, now that Dr. Jeff has been revealed as a fan of Frankie Valli, we can disclose the alternate lyrics he composed when he got home:

Oh what a night
Two for dinner? No, it will be three
What a very large drink bill for me
As I remember, what a night

Oh what a night
You know, I barely even knew her name
But Mary wanted her there just the same
What a drunkard, what a night.

Oh I got a funny feeling when she ordered all of that scotch
As I recall she was such a be-yotch

Oh what a night
Bitching, whining, getting pissed at me
She was everything I feared she’d be
Watch out, waiter! What a night

Her arm flew up like a rolling bolt of thunder
Knocking the drink tray down, the waiter could not take cover!

Oh what a night
Why’d I say yes to a guest that night?
Threesome? No, no, thanks, not with that fright!
Masturbation’s best tonight!
Mibbitmaker
July 3rd, 2005 at 11:07 pm [Reply]

LuAnn will end up being disappointed when, as she enters the restraunt, she hears a sizzling grill and a cook shouting, “Cheeseburgy, Cheeseburgy, Cheeseburgy…”
yellojkt, from the Third World
July 3rd, 2005 at 11:28 pm [Reply]

Just a quick update folks. My Red Bird Detective Agency business has me tracking a Colonel Kurtz in an unnamed developing nation. The local free government run English language newspaper carries week old Garfield and Calvin and Hobbes from God knows when. Talk about hazardous duty pay.

I am in an internet chat room paying 500 Dong a minute to type this. This message alone is probably costing me sixteen cents.

My mission has one more week. I am now moving on to a different destination where they have lots and lots of comics, but my knowledge of Kanji is non-existent. I will catch up with Gil, Rita and the gang in a week.
Luban
July 4th, 2005 at 12:02 am [Reply]

Mark Trail Plagiarism Watch (fun for the whole family every Sunday): compare the strip with the source info.
PizzaBagel
July 4th, 2005 at 12:23 am [Reply]

Yellojkt, you can be gone another month or two – hopefully not – and the Ritzilla arc will probably not progress plotwise much if any in all that time. (But, oh, all the hilarity along the way.)

The same’s true – if not more so – for the Pus Boy Chronicles, although Royal Pain In the Jockstrap is slithering back into the light of day again. We’ll see if his presence livens up this plodding story as he searches desperately for the Maltese Ark of Prince Valiant. (”It’s under a big W, I tell ya … a big W!”)

And in Mark Trail, just when I thought, despite the presence of Scott and Frida, it would be just Mark and Boydo refamiliarizing themselves with each other’s intimate parts in The Lost Forest, it looks like Scott might be coaxed into joining their team. Boyd’s starting off with a gentle touch of Scott’s shoulder, and the two wind up exchanging lingering glances and some more homoerotic code language – not that there’s anything wrong with that.
PizzaBagel
July 4th, 2005 at 12:33 am [Reply]

Luban, as Boyd tells Scott in today’s Mark Trail, MT is an outdoor writer. (Is that someone who writes about the outdoors, or just someone who does all his writing outdoors?) So perhaps he’s a contributor to the website of the Canadian Museum of Nature, http://www.nature.ca. But, yeah, since you pointed it out, much of the text of Sunday’s strip was lifted verbatim from that site. For shame, Jack Elrod!
Adam-12
July 4th, 2005 at 12:51 am [Reply]

Edda alert! [insert 'saluting flag' joke here]

And over in (death to) Gil Thorp, the new host is a “she.” Gosh, ol’ Gil sure knows how leave us on the edge of our seats, don’t he? And is WDIG an AM station? The first letter in the background sign of the first panel is hidden by the speech balloon, but it looks slanted like an A. Can’t Mil*ford even qualify for an FM broadcast? (Man, I’m really picking a nit now, ain’t I?)

PizzaBagel, loved the “W” line. It’s a mad, mad, mad, mad comic strip!
Claude
July 4th, 2005 at 9:37 am [Reply]

I think the background sign actually reads “WDIG AM WDIG FM”. You can see the beginning of a W at the right edge of the panel. That’s a pretty typical sign for a station with both AM and FM counterparts, although there are rules about how much time you’re allowed to simulcast. Yeah, I’m a radio geek.

Brenda doesn’t have stars in her eyes today! I haven’t seen that since she lost Basil St. John in the 70s. I will admit, however, that I’ve only recently started reading the strip again.
Frank Drackman
July 4th, 2005 at 11:23 am [Reply]

The July 4th “Beetle Baily” is pretty creepy and unpatriotic if you ask me..with the Grim Reaper visiting SGT Snorkel after some well deserved harassment of PVT Bailey. With the recent fragging episodes in Iraq I would think Mort Walker would be a little more sensitive.Of course its also the funniest Bettle Baily has been since Lt.Fuzz went overboard at MeyLai
Anon
July 4th, 2005 at 11:48 am [Reply]

I pointed out a reused ‘Calvin and Hobbes’ joke in ‘Baby Blues’ the other day. It looks like ‘Bizarro’ tries to steal a C&H joke today. Could a C&H aficionado verify this?
Josh Renaud
July 4th, 2005 at 11:52 am [Reply]

>> â€œAre newspapers afraid the God Squad will take them out if they drop B.C.? Certainly even the most fanatical must think itâ€™s just not funny.â€

> “Hmmâ€¦ I suspect that the God Squadders just like the fact that a â€œChristianâ€ strip is taking up real estate on the funny pages, and they would scream bloody murder if it were taken away and replaced by some pagan nightmare like Pearls Before Swine.”

I guess I’m a “God Squadder” to you, but I think your generalization is quite wrong. PBS is one of my favorite comics right now. I don’t pay much attention to B.C. And I probably wouldn’t scream if it was taken away.

Now, if I could just get the paper to eliminate “Lola” … the world’s WORST comic ever conceived. An anti-funny strip meant to appeal to old folks.
loudfan
July 4th, 2005 at 2:32 pm [Reply]

Josh R.: B.C. is just about the only comic strip that generates letters to the editor in my local newspaper. Whenever someone writes in railing about Hart’s perceived anti-Semitic/anti-evolution etc. bias, there are always several letters appearing a few days later from people defending it, and the perception definitely seems to be that B.C. is an oasis of “values” on the comics pages. Obviously not all Christians are going to agree that B.C. is worth keeping around, ’cause a lot of Christians have, you know, SENSES OF HUMOR, and I think the only way anyone could ever defend B.C. is if they were completely missing that.

Similarly, I’ll bet a lot of Republican comic readers don’t like Mallard Fillmore.
Woodrowfan
July 4th, 2005 at 2:40 pm [Reply]

Geeze, BC doesn’t even make sense today. (July 4)
Bill Peschel
July 4th, 2005 at 4:06 pm [Reply]

You wouldn’t believe the support strips get. In today’s Patriot-News (Harrisburg, PA.), the letter writer claimed the Fusco Brothers was one of three strips he reads, and if a strip should be dropped, it should be Mutts.

Granted, he’s right about Mutts. But if B.Kliban wasn’t already dead, FB would have killed him.
Lor
July 4th, 2005 at 4:46 pm [Reply]

yellojkt, so glad you had a chance to log in! But I have bad news for you: Mistah Kurtz, he dead.

Zipper, I’ve got three of the four Jumble words but the “amblrano” one mystifies me. And if the solution has to do with particle physics I fear I’ll have to go look up the answer.

Hi Beasley! (waves) I was away for a bit myself.

Re Mallard Fillmore: I think the writer’s not even trying to be funny, just trying to make a point. It should go on the editorial page, not the comics page.

That was a laugh-out-loud Sally Forth today, Ces!
Mooncity
July 4th, 2005 at 5:14 pm [Reply]

Well, Cardinals, it’s true. I have absolutely NO LIFE WHATSOEVER! I’m practically a walking embodiment of a “Mark Trail” storyline.

So, since I had no place to go over the July 4th weekend, no one to go there with, and no money to get there, I spent my time doing something almost as wasteful as trying to figure what that stupid weatherman in “Kudzu” is trying to say.

In honor of our glorious Pope, and the College of Comix Cardinals, I cobbled together something special for you from the last few weeks of “Mary Worth” strips.

Now, if you don’t like the artwork, I can say but two things. First, most of it came from the actual MW comic, so don’t blame ME! Second… hey, at least it’s not as bad as “Gil Thorp!”

http://www.geocities.com/autumnlakecomic/thecocktail.gif
RBF
July 4th, 2005 at 5:56 pm [Reply]

Excellent job Moon! And yes we missed you beasley and Lor, welcome back!

Happy Independence Day all (what’s left of it).

Back in a bit with comments on comics – haven’t gotten a chance to read them yet.
Bill Peschel
July 4th, 2005 at 6:07 pm [Reply]

Mooncity, that’s fabulous! Coming soon, to a comic page near you.
Beasley
July 4th, 2005 at 6:27 pm [Reply]

The aformentioned “Calvin & Hobbes”…incase you want to read it but don’t want to register for the site:

Pop goes the publishing

KCâ€™s Andrews McMeel thrives in its cultural niche

By JOHN MARK EBERHART The Kansas City Star

Jim Andrews died young.

Thatâ€™s the first thing you have to consider when pondering the success of Andrews McMeel Universal, the publishing company/syndicate behind â€œThe Far Sideâ€ and â€œCalvin and Hobbes.â€

Co-founder Jim Andrews died of a heart attack in 1980, when he was 44 and the Kansas City company was but 10 years old â€” and it could have died with him. Andrews, after all, was the man who in 1970 discovered Garry Trudeauâ€™s â€œDoonesburyâ€ when it was called â€œBulltalesâ€ and was printed only in the Yale Daily News.

â€œHe had great curiosity,â€ his surviving partner, John McMeel, says now. â€œI think about what might have been if Jim had lived.â€¦We were closer than brothers; it was devastating.â€

But 35 years after its founding, Andrews McMeel Universal is thriving. While most New York publishers bemoan flat sales, their Kansas City competitor posted an increase last year of more than 10 percent.

Part of the reason is that it has really honed its niche. In a publishing world that seems focused on 700-page biographies, serious literature and blockbuster fiction, Andrews McMeel has winnowed its mix to lighthearted nonfiction, gift books, calendars and entertainment. Perhaps only Chronicle Books in San Francisco has developed a similar mÃ©lange of â€œpop goes the cultureâ€ books.

When the company published Gary Larsonâ€™s The Complete Far Side two years ago, it carried a $135 price, yet the two-volume book plowed through four printings and 300,000 copies and is getting a fifth. It ranks as the most expensive New York Times best seller in history.

This Oct. 4, Andrews McMeel will bring out The Complete Calvin and Hobbes, a $150, three-volume compendium of every strip Bill Watterson ever drew. Calvinâ€™s initial run is a quarter million.

Sitting in McMeelâ€™s office in one of the American Century Towers overlooking the Country Club Plaza, McMeel and Hugh Andrews exchange grins. Times are good.

Untimely

McMeel, 69, serves as chairman, or at least thatâ€™s one of his titles. Hugh Andrews, 38, is president and chief operating officer.

He was 14 when his dad died.

â€œIt was a bad period of time, thatâ€™s for sure,â€ he says. Yet there was already something going on in his head: He hoped the adults would continue the business. He wanted to grow up and into it.

Partly that was because of the visitors who came to his house. Brothers Hugh and James were used to being entertained by houseguests like Trudeau and Tom Wilson, creator of â€œZiggy.â€ There was a lot of laughter.

Fortunately for the Andrews boys, their mother, Kathleen Andrews, and McMeel had no intention of letting Andrews McMeel slip away.

McMeel admits the company has made mistakes.

â€œWe did do some fiction during the very early years â€¦ but it just wasnâ€™t our game,â€ he says.

Most American publishers are based in New York. Most big ones like Random House and Simon & Schuster concentrate on fiction and nonfiction. And most, even the big players, are owned by even bigger media conglomerates.

Andrews McMeel/Universal is privately held. McMeel lived in New York when the company was formed, but he and Jim Andrews moved it to Kansas City partly to save costs. But the big thing that sets this publisher apart from its competitors is specialization.

Andrews McMeel, the publishing side, uses Universal, the syndicate side, to feed it books.

Universal has been a natural content supplier because of the popularity of comic strips like â€œThe Boondocksâ€ and â€œFoxtrotâ€ and newspaper features such as Amy Friedmanâ€™s â€œTell Me a Story.â€

â€œOne of our strengths,â€ McMeel says, â€œis being able to take a â€˜Doonesburyâ€™ from a strip to a book, a â€˜Far Sideâ€™ to a calendar.â€

Along with comic collections, Andrews McMeel does business books such as The Millionaire Mind, a sequel to the popular financial advice book The Millionaire Next Door. Its competitors think the company is smart to stay focused.

â€œThe books have seemed to stay pretty close to self-help, celebrity memoir, business,â€ says Chip Fleischer, publisher at Steerforth, a Vermont press with distribution ties to Random House. â€œThey focus on things that make sense together so that they donâ€™t lose track of their own identity.â€

That identity depends on books such Rosalind Cowardâ€™s recent Diana: The Portrait, a book on the late Princess of Wales; Anne Geddes and Celine Dionâ€™s words/photos/music project Miracle: A Celebration of New Life; and Jamie Reidyâ€™s Hard Sell: The Evolution of a Viagra Salesman, a memoir about working for Pfizer. The company publishes about 300 books and 150 calendars a year.

McMeel says that not doing fiction means the company, in some respects, isnâ€™t in direct competition with some peers.

But Victoria Meyer, a publicist at Simon & Schuster in New York, says thatâ€™s only partly true.

â€œIn the sense of their list not matching up with a lot of other publishersâ€™, they have a point. But all publishers compete for consumersâ€™ dollars, which are finite.â€

But itâ€™s fun

John McMeel and Hugh Andrews agree that Jim Andrews â€œset the toneâ€ back in 1970 when he discovered Garry Trudeau and the strip that would become â€œDoonesbury.â€ It was in sharp contrast to most of the eraâ€™s static, safe stuff like â€œMary Worth.â€

That trend has continued with strips like Aaron McGruderâ€™s â€œThe Boondocks,â€ which draws complaints from newspaper readers all over the country for its brash observations about race and class. (The Star buys several comics from the company, including â€œDoonesburyâ€ and â€œThe Boondocks.â€)

â€œBut as long as itâ€™s within moral boundaries,â€ Hugh Andrews says, â€œweâ€™re going to support our creators and let them make their statements. Thatâ€™s what makes them great.â€

With all the affection the company has for people like McGruder, Gary Larson and Bill Watterson, there have been tensions â€” especially with Watterson.

The reticent creator of â€œCalvin and Hobbesâ€ made it clear early on that he did not want his cartoon boy and tiger plastered all over coffee mugs and calendars â€” a very lucrative option.

Unfortunately for Watterson, the contract he had signed in the 1980s gave Andrews McMeel those very rights. But when Watterson complained to the company, its response was astonishing.

â€œWe could have done anything we wanted,â€ McMeel says. â€œBut â€¦â€ He pauses, as if the lost dollars still occur to him now and then. â€œWe gave the rights back to him.â€

McMeelâ€™s smile grows more wistful when he thinks about the Steven Spielberg incident.

Like just about everyone else when â€œCalvin and Hobbesâ€ was running in 2,400 American newspapers, Spielberg grew fascinated with the strip. But he knew Wattersonâ€™s reputation.

â€œSpielberg had one of his associates call me,â€ McMeel remembers, â€œand the person said, â€˜If Mr. Spielberg would call Mr. Watterson, would Mr. Watterson take the call?â€™ I said, â€˜Good question. Let me call him and find out.â€™ â€

McMeel called. There was a slight pause on Wattersonâ€™s end of the line, then a firm no.

Says McMeel now: â€œHave you ever see a grown man cry on the phone?â€

McMeel asked Watterson just to consider Spielbergâ€™s invitation to go out and see him. The answer did not change. There would be no â€œCalvin and Hobbesâ€ movie.

But Watterson has given Andrews McMeel numerous book collections, and The Complete Calvin and Hobbes will rule them all. No, there will be no new strips. But Watterson is drawing new art for the slipcase that will cover the three volumes. And this taciturn man has agreed to write a fairly substantial introduction.

â€œItâ€™ll be the most his fans have ever heard from him,â€ Hugh Andrews says.

Loyal employees

Andrews McMeel is not one of Kansas Cityâ€™s largest employers. About 200 people work for the company, 90 percent of them in town.

Anyone thinking of looking for work there should know that those employees are loyal. Forty have been there 10 years or more and six for at least 15 years.

The first employee ever hired is still on the job. Rowena Nichols, 90, is a typist. Hugh Andrews says: â€œShe comes in whenever she wants. We send a car for her. Sheâ€™s fabulous; she loves people.â€

It hasnâ€™t been solid laughs. Larson quit drawing â€œThe Far Sideâ€ for newspapers in 1994, Watterson penned his last â€œCalvinâ€ strip on Jan. 1, 1996, and no real mega-strip has come along to replace them. Before that year was out, humor columnist Erma Bombeck would die. The company had syndicated her for some time and has published some of her work in book form.

But â€œthe next big idea,â€ Hugh Andrews says, â€œcould be in an envelope or an e-mail right now.â€

And if not? No worries. Hugh Andrews smiles at the thought of yet another successful calendar.

â€œThis year we have â€˜Desperate Housewives.â€™ â€
To reach John Mark Eberhart, call (816) 234-4772 or e-mail jeberhart@kcstar.com .
loudfan
July 4th, 2005 at 6:52 pm [Reply]

Mooncity, that was hilarious. Bravo!
Islamorada Girl
July 4th, 2005 at 7:01 pm [Reply]

Moon, I’m really sorry you had nowhere to go over the 4th. But The Cocktail is a work of genius of the kind an artist can only produce when things are dead all around. It’s great! More! More! (Round of applause!)

As a writer, may I offer one tiny suggestion “Balless” reads better than “Ballsless”. But that’s just the editor in me.

This is terrific work, and I want to see more.
Maybe this can take you somewhere. Who knows?
Lor
July 4th, 2005 at 7:22 pm [Reply]

Mooncity, that was terrific! I for one am really glad you had nothing better to do this 4th.

Beasley, thanks for copying the article here – I must admit I gave up when the registration screen popped up. So there’s a $150 C&H compendium on the way, eh? Hey, Santa! I know what I want for Christmas…

But then I know I’ve been a bad bad girl, so I’ll prolly get this instead…
Adam-12
July 4th, 2005 at 8:00 pm [Reply]

Mooncity, that was beautiful! Terrific, a masterpiece! Harumph! (Don’t feel too bad about having nothing to do; some of us have to work.)

Lor, is there such a thing as the “Best” of GT?
Dub Not Dubya
July 4th, 2005 at 8:10 pm [Reply]

Mooncity, that was awesome! Sorry you were alone and such, but glad you made good use of it. I’m all alone with nowhere to go too, but pretty much all I did was play Boggle on the web. Oh, and I did write the song parody in comment 87, but that didn’t take very long (and wasn’t nearly as funny as your contribution!)
Lor
July 4th, 2005 at 8:37 pm [Reply]

Dub, loved your version of “Oh What A Night,” I meant to say – and I too am here alone on the Fourth. Well, you’re never alone when you have the Comix College.

Hiya, RBF!

Adam-12, you wouldn’t think such a thing would exist, would you? But Amazon.com never lies … see more here, and here and here. Sadly, no cover photos.
Islamorada Girl
July 4th, 2005 at 8:39 pm [Reply]

Lor, I wonder who’s out there who’d pay $150 for
Gil Thorp. Seems to me they ought to pay us for reading him!

Death! Death! Extortion!
Highway robbery and yet more death to Gil Thorp.
Lor
July 4th, 2005 at 8:39 pm [Reply]

Maybe it should be “Best of the Worst of Gil Thorp?”
Fence Post Frank
July 4th, 2005 at 8:44 pm [Reply]

Rita says, “Look Mary, here’s poor departed Fay . . . Remember Fay?”

Meanwhile, Rita is thinking, “Don’t you remember you’re suppose to feel sorry for me?, Isn’t it easier that reading me that #$&*@ riot act and throwing me out in the street?”
RBF
July 4th, 2005 at 9:04 pm [Reply]

Hi ya Lor, welcome back! And Yes Dub, that What a Night was awesome!

But what a let down on MW. (almost as much as when we didn’t get to see Mark Trail punch out the Acme Insurance would-be embezzler).

Mary: Tea, dear Rita?

Give us a break! Looking for an old lady hair-pulling contest or something!

Of course, this story-line will drag on til it comes to fruition; i.e., what we Cards have predicted from Day One.

Dayum, we’re good! And A3-G is about as interesting right now as waiting for paint to dry… wtf cares how Big Bux Scott knows the owner of the Greek Restaurant? A little less talk and a little more action!
Bill Peschel
July 4th, 2005 at 9:28 pm [Reply]

These paragraphs caught my eye from the news story about Andrews McMeel:

“Unfortunately for Watterson, the contract he had signed in the 1980s gave Andrews McMeel those very rights. But when Watterson complained to the company, its response was astonishing.

‘We could have done anything we wanted,’ McMeel says. ‘But â€¦’ He pauses, as if the lost dollars still occur to him now and then. ‘We gave the rights back to him.’”

That’s the simple, company friendly story, but Watterson’s accounts made it very clear that McMeel pressed him long and hard over several years before they finally agreed to give the rights back to him.
fluffytufts
July 4th, 2005 at 9:49 pm [Reply]

Hello, Conclave – I hope everyone had or is having a wunnerful 4th o’ July. I’ve had 3 days off, and the idea of just how much work is waiting on my desk is scary. All of it’ll be of the “End of the World” variety, no doubt. If GM extends this GMS thing, I’m quiting – God as my witness.
Anyway – Doesn’t Edda look great waving that flag? Seth doesn’t need to pursue happiness – he just needs to turn his head to the right! And while I’m on the subject, is McEldowney suffering from Attention Deficit Disorder? The whole plot whirling around Edda and Amos seems to have been suddenly back-burnered for now. She even went on a date recently. Hmmm. Maybe Brooke wrote himself into a corner on that arc and is trying to gracefully withdraw. Maybe he realized that absolutely no one was gonna buy that particular combo: Uber-Geek with the Firmalabasterthighed One.
Meanwhile, over at Pibgorn, everybodys’ favorite shot of Absinthe is getting naked for the undeserving ~~Geoff~~ ~~Geof~~ Jeff again. He’s concerned that, as Mozart, he’ll die in 6 months. Upon hearing this, Pib disrobes. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but it’s kind of a weak plot device. No doubt that as soon as piano-boy starts waving his, er, baton around, Drusilla will show up and catch the two in flagrante delecto (sp?). If Jeff’s lucky, she’ll just join right in. God, I love this strip. Sex-O-Rama, baby. They don’t call it the Horniest Strip in Print™ for nothin’!
Dondi
July 4th, 2005 at 10:00 pm [Reply]

Well done, Mooncity! I especially like “a job half done is a job just begun.” It just wouldn’t be the Meddler without a platitude or two.

Thanks for posting the whole C&H story, Beasley. I’d forgotten the Star required registration.
Islamorada Girl
July 4th, 2005 at 10:22 pm [Reply]

I’d like to see The Cocktail take on that master of mediocrity, Gil Thorp, just as soon as he finishes off The Barfly.
Fay's Restless Spirit
July 4th, 2005 at 10:45 pm [Reply]

I am new to 9CL, is Seth really gay or you kids just joshing? I don’t follow the story line at all.

Does Edda have a crush on that lame guy?

Seriously, I am clueless on this one.
Fay's Restless Spirit
July 4th, 2005 at 10:49 pm [Reply]

And nothing to do with comics, did you all hear that Paris Hilton told the Brits that she is “the closest thing to American Royalty?”

give me a break! Julia Louis-Dreyfus is worth quadrudple the Hilton sisters, works her a$$ off, and doesn’t flaunt it.
Beasley
July 4th, 2005 at 10:51 pm [Reply]

Comment by Lor

Well…..I AGREE. ;)
Fay's Restless Spirit
July 4th, 2005 at 10:54 pm [Reply]

And yeah, Death To GT. NO clue what the story line today was???

Anyone??
Fay's Restless Spirit
July 4th, 2005 at 11:00 pm [Reply]

obviously, rhetorical question
Adam-12
July 4th, 2005 at 11:08 pm [Reply]

Fay’s Restless Spirit: To the best of my knowledge, Seth is in fact gay. And Edda does appear to be in “something” with Amos (though to be fair, I don’t think the suited geek in the 4th o’ July strip is supposed to be Amos).

As far as Paris Hilton, she may be right. After all, modern royalty is pretty much window dressing that contributes absolutely nothing to society yet for some reason is overly-emphasized in the media.

Finally, this may be un-American (and un-Pittsburgh) but I’m sick unto death of fireworks. One “BOOM” looks and sounds just like every other one, fer cryin’ out loud! Not only does everyone go ape-scat for this, but I come home after 8 hours of sweating my arse off on a foot post and now I have to listen to all the slack-jawed yokels for 2 blocks around set off M-80s and bottle rockets! Arrgh! I hope the @#$%& blow their hands off!

Sigh… Sorry. I feel much better now.
Adam-12
July 4th, 2005 at 11:21 pm [Reply]

Also, there IS no plot or storyline to “Gil Thorp” (at least none that can be detected by human intelligence).

Did anyone see “Gasoline Alley” for Sunday and Monday? I saw both odes to 4th o’ July and the first thing in my mind was “Schoolhouse Rocks.”

(FYI, the beer is starting to take effect, and I’m calming down. Deeeeep breath. Aaaaah….)
PizzaBagel
July 4th, 2005 at 11:28 pm [Reply]

Mooncity, so you say that you have absolutely no life whatsoever, and that you had nothing better to do over this past holiday weekend. Well, you certainly put all that time to good use, and for that we Curmudgeonites are grateful. “The Cocktail” was hee-larious, a real masterpiece. I look forward to a follow-up or something else in that vein. You might not get CoTW, but you certainly deserve some kind of an honor from our leader.
PizzaBagel
July 4th, 2005 at 11:46 pm [Reply]

Adam-12, sorry to hear about your situation re “personal explosives.” I must concur that I can’t stand or understand some folks’ fascination with that stuff. If Giuliani did nothing else for my town, he pretty much eradicated that nuisance here. Until around ten years or so ago, it used to occur every year around this time in the days leading up to July 4th, with the obvious crescendo on Independence Day. Today I heard nary a pop, if that – aside from the legally sanctioned stuff from Macy’s in the distance for a while. I don’t know how he did it or how it continued after he left office, but he proved that it can be done. Yeah, there are still neighborhoods in which it still occurs, but it’s definitely not as rampant as it was not that long ago. This is one genie that, for the most part, can be put back into its bottle.
Frank Drackman
July 5th, 2005 at 5:37 am [Reply]

Tuesdays Beatle Bailey is sort of funny if not semi-racist, I really like the “keep on truckin” shoesthe mexicans are wearig. B.C continues its streak of just not being funny, and even though its JULY and I think they live in Arizona, Dolly is wearing a Sweater.
fluffytufts
July 5th, 2005 at 5:37 am [Reply]

Anyone see Pibgorn this morning? I may still be firmly in the grip of Eddalust, but she really doesn’t hold a candle to Pib when it comes to getting naked at the drop of a hat. Mmmmmm…arboreal fairies.
Fence Post Frank
July 5th, 2005 at 6:33 am [Reply]

In Wednesday’s Mary Worth, does Mary reveal that she was a loud mouth, swearing drunk after her dear what-his-name died? Then, with hard work and determination, she became what she is today?
dimestore lipstick
July 5th, 2005 at 7:19 am [Reply]

Islamorada Girl–

Were you by any chance drinking Krolewska?

http://www.ivodka.com/vodkaguide/krolewska.html
Islamorada Girl
July 5th, 2005 at 7:51 am [Reply]

Dimestore! Not only do you have a very cool name, but you’ve located the vodka of the gods! Yes, it is Krolewska! Thank you!
And by the way, it was John Paul II’s fave. . . Thank you! I’m scraping together my fifty bucks for a bottle of booze too good for Ritzilla. Thank you!
Islamorada Girl
July 5th, 2005 at 7:52 am [Reply]

Speaking of holy, and we were, who’s more annoyingly saintly? Mary Worth or Elly Patterson?
WoodrowFan
July 5th, 2005 at 8:20 am [Reply]

Ok, I’ve started reading Pibgoirn. What the heck is going on????????????????
Lor
July 5th, 2005 at 8:41 am [Reply]

Mary by a mile! At least Elly mutters under her breath about people. I remember a nasty remark or two about Mike’s monster-in-law.
Lor
July 5th, 2005 at 8:44 am [Reply]

WoodrowFan, it looks like Geoff, a contemporary musician, and his friend Pibgorn the arboreal fairy have switched places with W.A. Mozart and Anna Gottlieb of the 18th century due to some kind of quantum flux. How and why and for how long is beyond me!

I’m curious about your name – are you a fan of Pres. Wilson, or is it some other Woodrow?
Wren Wah
July 5th, 2005 at 9:10 am [Reply]

MoonCity, Great, phenomenal, just plain outstanding!!

FluffyTufts, I agree with you completely. Edda is a honey, but Pib is the sugar. I just hope Yellojkt and J. Po get to see this one when they return.

Re: Liberty Meadows. There is a great lineage of over acheiving comic males. Bil does not deserve Thel. Hi does not deserve Lois. Beetle does not deserve to be in the same room with Miss Buxley. However never has there been anyone more undeserving than Frank. Yes, Amos is a total geek, but this guy has even surpassed the fabulously lucky Dagwood Bumstead in the pantheon of comic men wooing women who are way out of their league. Having Frank score with either Brandy or Jen would stretch the limits of reasonableness. Having both of them interested in him, well that would be an achievement beyond the ken of mortal man. Obviously, Frank the character is a proxy for Frank the writer/artist and this is just wish fulfillment. Nevertheless, this lack of credibility may be what lead to the demise of LM as a daily strip. Even in a world where animals talk in complete sentences and Neanderthals spout Christian dogma, Frank catching the eye of two such luscious specimens could be considered too unrealistic for mass consumption. On the other hand, if (as I fervently hope) this plot line leads to images of both ladies in semi-dressed states and compromised positions, then it is probably worth the loss.
Irina
July 5th, 2005 at 9:27 am [Reply]

And heaven knows, Wren, that Mr. Lockhorn doesn’t deserve that delectable little hottie, Mrs. Lockhorn. ;)

Realize I’m jumpin’ on the bandwagon a little late, but I only just saw it now — great comic, Mooncity! :D
Fence Post Frank
July 5th, 2005 at 9:49 am [Reply]

Wren Wah -

Check out the Liberty meadows site at

http://www.libertymeadows.com

And go look at the censored strips at

http://www.libertymeadows.com/uncengal/index.htm

Checkout strips #248-253 and 260.
Flasshe
July 5th, 2005 at 10:21 am [Reply]

Mooncity, your Cocktail™ strip was awesome and hilarious!! Great job!!

The Scott and Luann date in A3G moves ever forward:
“See that wall? And that one? And that one? And that wall over there? See this wall here? See that wall? Would you like some Iced Tea? Look at this wall!”

I wonder if he’ll get a second date? Probably.
Islamorada Girl
July 5th, 2005 at 11:04 am [Reply]

Judging by Tuesday’s Rex Morgan, on Wednesday Fity Cent Foxworth will be getting a lecture on HEALTH INSURANCE. Oh, be still my beating heart.
fluffytufts
July 5th, 2005 at 11:23 am [Reply]

Wren Wah – excellent observation re undeserving comics males. But I think it’s a case of art imitating life: Drew Barrymore and Tom Green, weird-ass Tom Cruise and pretty much anybody, slovenly Brad Pitt and the delectible Jennifer Aniston (and now Angelina Jolie). Yeah – I know the last two are considered hotties by the majority of the female populace, but issues, folks – these jerks have issues! Too much trouble, ladies.
WoodrowFan
July 5th, 2005 at 11:30 am [Reply]

thanks Lor, fopr a second I thought is was Amos and Edda (droooolllll):

As for my nick: I am a professional historian and my speciality is US History from 1900-1920 with an emphasis on Woodrow Wilson.
Nom du Jour
July 5th, 2005 at 11:45 am [Reply]

One Adam-12, see the man at 155 Figueroa complaining about fireworks. over

I agree with you totally and your comment (#125) about fireworks. Also, cities and towns, and the like are all crying poor mouth, no money to pave the streets, no money for schools etc etc etc, but they will have big fireworks displays. Flashing lights and some boom booms. Before you say it, yes I know it is donations and private sponsors that pay for this dog and pony show, but come on, hundreds of thousands of dollars for fireworks.
Nom du Jour
July 5th, 2005 at 11:52 am [Reply]

I had a comment about yesterdays FBOFW, Elly is praising the roadside Beckster by saying “Your friend Becky sure has talent.”

and her evil spawn offspring April replies “Thanks”

THANKS?

April is saying thank you for her friend’s talent? What, she taught everything Becky knows? Well, almost everyting. Just why does she think she can take credit for the Becky’s talent?

Yet another symptom of the Pius Perfect Pattersons taking credit for everything good. If Becky had flopped, April would have been distancing her prissy little self from that ugly scene.

meanwhile, back at the ranch, I think we mis-named fity cent foxworth. I think he is $100,000 Grand Bar Foxworth. Disowned son smaked up side the head by a fence post, you betcha I can pay that hospital bill, you want tens or twentys?
Mooncity
July 5th, 2005 at 11:58 am [Reply]

Amazon has the “Calvin & Hobbes” set for just under a hundred smackers. I had pre-ordered it previously, so now I’m just waiting until October! Can’t wait to read what Watterson has to say in retrospect. It’s a shame he didn’t take the comic online if he was so fed up with the syndies/rat race/newspapers. Ah, well.

Oh, and thanks for all of the “Coctkail” kudos! It put the fizz in my club soda!
WoodrowFan
July 5th, 2005 at 12:02 pm [Reply]

between the new C&H collection and the complete collection of Peanuts being published two years at a time I’m going to need a bigger house!
gnome de blog
July 5th, 2005 at 12:18 pm [Reply]

RBF re #22: Sorry, it wasn’t me hosting the future Mr. & Mrs. C. I’m about 600-odd miles up the coast, and besides, I’m already successfully married. I certainly wouldn’t want to go through all that wedding business again.

Brenda Starr: I used to read La Starr when I lived in DC in the early 70s. Back then she was perpetually 23 (so was I). I didn’t start with her until I discovered her online a few months ago, and she has these star-thingies around her eyes. I think they’re supposed to be visible signs that she’s aged some. I put her at around 40 now.
Jeanne
July 5th, 2005 at 12:33 pm [Reply]

re:146 I think she’s saying thanks to her dad for saying it was a nice ceremony. And that wasnt’ Elly that said the Becky had talent, it was Liz. Elly is standing on the right next to her husband.
Irina
July 5th, 2005 at 12:47 pm [Reply]

Whoa. Just looked at today’s Mark Trail.

Scott seems to have managed to shave off his MT Bad Guy ™ moustache in mid-conversation, between panels 2 and 3:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/style/comics/king.htm?name=Mark_Trail&date=20050705
Nom du Jour
July 5th, 2005 at 1:17 pm [Reply]

I do apologize for wasting everyone’s time.
Sassy_Rocks
July 5th, 2005 at 2:27 pm [Reply]

Missing facial hair alert! What happened to that cheezy Clark Gable ’stache on Scott between panels? Evil usually manifests itself in facial hair (or weird hats with pom poms) in Mark Trail so it could be Scott is having second thoughts about his wife’s evil plot…

Prepare for Mary Worth’s tearful sharing of pain with Rita about her long lost husband, Jack. He must have been quite the desperate loser to marry a nosy, meddlesome, biddy hag like her…
dimestore lipstick
July 5th, 2005 at 2:30 pm [Reply]

Nom–

Today’s FBoFW read that way to me, too. It took two readings in the paper and a third online to get the flow of the conversation in those panels, and that just typical of Johnston & company’s sloppy work. And Elly looks old enough to be Ape’s great-grandma! What is UP with that?
Islamorada Girl
July 5th, 2005 at 2:31 pm [Reply]

Wood, Edith Bolling Gault was a racist bitch. Just so you know what I think.

Death to Gil Thorp and

MORE ADVENTURES OF THE COCKTAIL, MULE!
PizzaBagel
July 5th, 2005 at 2:34 pm [Reply]

Re today’s Mark Trail:

In response to being told by hubby Scott that F.O.B. (Friend O’ Boyd) Mark Trail will be joining the Great Fishing Expedition, Frida utters, “That may not be good!” Why?

A. She doesn’t want a witness to the murder of Boyd
B. She used to date Mark Trail way back when, so it could get a little uncomfortable
C. She knows that if Mark Trail is there, this whole episode will take twenty times as long to accomplish as they had originally planned – if it even plays out as expected
Slack-jawed yokel
July 5th, 2005 at 3:28 pm [Reply]

You commie pinko unamerican anti-freedom democracy-bashing unslack-jawed satanic non-yokels, you! Firing off personal explosives while drinking and dodging law enforcement is a Time-Honored American Tradition. If we can’t do that, the terrorists win!

We set off bricks of crackers, grosses of bottle rockets, a battalion of mortars and an entire candelabra of Roman Candles this weekend.

And so what if the neighbor’s garage burned down with his Mercedes G500 inside! Number one, if you’re gonna by a Mercedes, buy a Mercedes, if you’re gonna buy an SUV buy an SUV.

Number 2, you can’t prove that rocket came from my yard anyway. We Slackjaws are clean on this, that one came from the Mouthbreather Family over by there.

Hey, baby, if you’re not with the Slackjaws on this one, you’re with Osama bin.

And, really, you can do almost everything with your left hand that you could with your right.
Sharkbait
July 5th, 2005 at 3:47 pm [Reply]

Great job on the Cocktail, Mooncity! Besides the humor, I especially liked the villians’ costumes. I hope Josh adds your work to his fan-fic section.

In RMMD, a sign that the writers may be aware of the comments here: the elder Foxworth takes the time to tell Rex that a friend loaned him the jet and a pilot.
Adam-12
July 5th, 2005 at 4:25 pm [Reply]

It’s been said before, but I just have to smile every time I read “Get Fuzzy.” Even if the joke is not that good, the way Conley is able to make Satchel (and Bucky) so expressive is really great. Satch looks so proud in the first panel of today’s strip, then looks embarassed in the last two. I’ve always pretty much figured that if cats and dogs could talk, they’d pretty much be Bucky and Satchel.

After a good week, PBS falls back on the one-joke wonder crocs. Sigh. C’mon Pastis, rip into “Gil Thorp” or “Mary Worth” next.

What’s with the reaction shot in today’s RMMD? Rex doesn’t flinch when Papa Foxworth says that a friend loaned him a jet and a pilot, but the mention of paying the hospital bill sends Rex into a Margo-esque head shot. If I asked someone how they got here so fast and they responded “oh, a friend loaned me his JET” I think that would get a rise of my eyebrow.

Finally: Pibbbbbbbb nekkid pibbbbb………(wipes drool off keyboard) Edda needs to kick it up a notch now, if she doesn’t want to lose her luster(s) to Pibgorn.
illogickel
July 5th, 2005 at 4:36 pm [Reply]

Only in RMMD would a doctor be upset when someone says he plans to actually pay the bill…
Islamorada Girl
July 5th, 2005 at 4:59 pm [Reply]

Now I’m wondering what the loaner Gulstream private pilot will do for fun in One City while Fity Cent Foxworth meddles around. I bet that storyline is more exciting than Rex’s.

Fence Post Frank, please phone home! This storyline NEEDS you!
slobocrock
July 5th, 2005 at 5:01 pm [Reply]

Whats with Blondie? I mean her name is on the strip, but most of the time all we get is Dagwood and Elmo. These are trying times and I need more of her enormous rack.
Dub Not Dubya
July 5th, 2005 at 5:57 pm [Reply]

Thanks for all the compliments on the “What a Night” parody. I have to say, visiting this site has gotten me to exercise what creativity I have, and that can only be a good thing.

Tuesday’s RMMD: Rex is shining almost like the waiter from Mary Worth. Maybe he’s a superhero too. The Doc Tail?

I think the jumping/flying cat in Tuesday’s FBOFW is cute.

3-G: yes, he helped the restaurant owner paint, and we the unfortunate readers have been forced to watch the paint drying instead of an actual story ever since. Zzzzz…
Fence Post Frank
July 5th, 2005 at 6:14 pm [Reply]

To Islamorada Girl:

Hey little lady, I have been busy building fences and overcharging people. What do you want me to do? Put a fence around the learjet?

- Frank
Islamorada Girl
July 5th, 2005 at 6:47 pm [Reply]

Fence Post Frank! At last! I want you to jump back into this boring, endless story and liven it up by bonding with Fity Cent to
kick some college elitist ass and bring those pointy headed intellectuals to justice! Then you can fly off into the Montana sunset with
Fity Cent to fence in the big sky country.
Or become a dental floss tycoon, whichever.

Go Fence Post! Go Fence Post! Go Fence Post Frank!
SatchelFan
July 5th, 2005 at 7:25 pm [Reply]

(Re: 165) And, don’t forget, Frank, that you can keep the wax!
Woodrowfan
July 5th, 2005 at 7:25 pm [Reply]

Islamorada Girl. And she had NO HEALTH INSURANCE!!!
Fence Post Frank
July 5th, 2005 at 8:01 pm [Reply]

Islamorada -

What would I do with dental floss?

Yeah, old Fity Cent seems like a good guy to have a beer with. Maybe on the way to Montana on that fancy jet, we could stop down in California and show that pansy Doc Jeff how to take care of his women.

As I always say, No fence, no cents!

- Frank

P.S. Say . . . Do you think that fancy jet has some cute little stewardesses?
Islamorada Girl
July 5th, 2005 at 8:06 pm [Reply]

Moving to Montana soon,
Gonna be a dental floss tycoon

Ah, so soon we forget Frank Zappa.

Major po mo ironic moment here, considering Frank’s lack of dental hygiene.

And I bet that jet has a bimbo flight attendant.

Any chance The Cocktail could come with you guys?
SatchelFan
July 5th, 2005 at 8:07 pm [Reply]

I’m not I-Girl, Frank, but I know what you’d do with dental floss. You’d raise it up and wax it down, in a little white box you can sell uptown. (Are I-Girl and I the only ones who remember Zappa?)
Beasley
July 5th, 2005 at 8:13 pm [Reply]

(Are I-Girl and I the only ones who remember Zappa?)

It depends. Is it a Sears memory or a real memory you’re talking about?
Sharkbait
July 5th, 2005 at 8:21 pm [Reply]

Islamorada Girl, don’t give up completely on a Fencepost Frank reprise before this storyline ends. We still don’t know who Peter Lorre was talking to from his car phone last week.

In today’s stip, I think Foxworth was implying that Rex saved Buck’s life just to make a buck. He obviously doesn’t realize that Rex’s interest in Buck is more…personal.
Fence Post Frank
July 5th, 2005 at 8:21 pm [Reply]

Major po mo ironic moment here, considering Frankâ€™s lack of dental hygiene.

Hey! What wrong with my teeth? I use splinters from the fence posts to clean them every week or so.
SatchelFan
July 5th, 2005 at 8:21 pm [Reply]

Great one, Beasley! I’ll bet you throw a mean Tarot.
Adam-12
July 5th, 2005 at 8:51 pm [Reply]

Well, it’s not “The Cocktail” and I’m no daChipster, but here’s a moldy oldy (apologies to “The Box Tops” and lovers of music everywhere)

(Ahem)

Gimme a pilot and an aeroplane
Ain’t got time to take a fast train
Buck took one to the head, Rex thought he was dead
Good thing, he gave June a letter

I don’t care how much money I gotta spend
Send me the bill Doc Mor-gan
It’s not a manly field, but as long as he’s healed
Good thing, he gave June a letter

Well, Buck could fence better
Said ol’ Frank shouldn’t be charging you more;
Listen mister, can’t you see the estimate’s off track
For such a small chore
Anyway, yeah!

Gimme a pilot and an aeroplane
Ain’t got time to take a fast train
Buck took one to the head, Rex thought he was dead
Good thing, he gave June a letter

Well, Buck’s college benefactor
Said you threatened Buck on-ce before;
Listen professor, I just want an artifact
It was nothing more
Anyway, yeah!

Gimme a pilot and an aeroplane
Ain’t got time to take a fast train
Buck took one to the head, Rex thought he was dead
Good thing, he gave June a letter
But Abbey, she’s hip to the larder

(Thank ya very much, drive safely folks!)
Beasley
July 5th, 2005 at 9:19 pm [Reply]

You’ve got that Camarillo brillo thing going on, don’cha, SatchelFan?
Lor
July 5th, 2005 at 11:10 pm [Reply]

Good one, Adam-12! [wipes away a sentimental tear] I always liked that song.

WoodrowFan, thanks for your patience with my question. After I posted it I got to thinking, how stupid is that? How many Woodrows could there be??
PizzaBagel
July 6th, 2005 at 12:07 am [Reply]

Did I miss something between yesterday’s Mark Trail and today’s one? In the final panel of yesterday’s strip, Frida makes a seemingly cliff-hanger remark to Scott about Trail’s presence in their fishing trip with Boyd: “That may not be good.” Today, in panel one, she comes across as if she doesn’t give a hoot: “So what if this Mark Trail is going with us. It shouldn’t change anything.” And in the next panel, she seems to allay the fears of Scott, as if he was the one worrying about Trail coming along for the ride. I’m confoozed.
Sharkbait
July 6th, 2005 at 12:50 am [Reply]

I get the feeling that Frida is accustomed to carrying on both sides of the conversation when she is with Scott. He just sips a drink and waits for her to issue his marching orders. I doubt he is worried, or even aware of the details of Frida’s plan. Only after she knocks Mark out with an oar, hands Mark’s axe to Scott and tells him: “OK, now you kill Boyd!” will he get a clue.

But we have another 6 or 8 weeks to speculate before anything actually “happens”. In panel three (the raccoon), you can tell that Elrod is already trying to slow the breakneck pace of this storyline.
yellojkt
July 6th, 2005 at 2:04 am [Reply]

Yahoo! The Apple store on the Ginza has free web access. Just a tip in case your ever in Tokyo. The keyboards are a little weird though.
yellojkt on the Ginza
July 6th, 2005 at 2:07 am [Reply]

Love the jet plane song, Adam-12. Gotta get back and catch up.
yellojkt on the Ginza
July 6th, 2005 at 2:17 am [Reply]

I may be out of the country, but why is Gunther’s pal dressed up like a condom?
SatchelFan
July 6th, 2005 at 6:17 am [Reply]

Yellojkt, Gunther and his pal are dressed as their comic book characters — paper and a pencil. (Although I like the condom idea better.)

Ahhh, Beasley, I even have a pair of zircon-encrusted tweezers. (Not that I’m a Dinah-Moe-Humm or anything. That would be so close to roadside, don’t you think?)
WoodrowFan
July 6th, 2005 at 6:28 am [Reply]

Lor, no problem. For all you knew my name was Woodrow and the “fan” referred to me being a fan of the comics. I was just worried it’d turn into a politcial conversation and I come here in part to take a break from politcal chats. 8-) Less Politics Mule!!!
Wren Wah
July 6th, 2005 at 6:41 am [Reply]

Do you think Maryâ€™s shrine is in honor of Babi?
Smitty Smedlap
July 6th, 2005 at 7:49 am [Reply]

One word for the last panel in yesterday’s Spiderman:

GAH!

http://www.chron.com/content/chronicle/comics/archive/showComick.mpl?date=20050705&name=Spiderman
Smitty Smedlap
July 6th, 2005 at 7:53 am [Reply]

And the last panel of today’s (minor injuries to) Gil Thorp features the droopiest, most lopsided breasts in history.

Poor girl — her posture’s ruined from having to carry those mismatched zeppelins around.
Irina
July 6th, 2005 at 9:10 am [Reply]

Sharkbait, Frida has to do all the talking, cause Vincete is constantly shaving and regrowing his Mark Trail Bad Guy Facial Hair ™, and must be too busy concentrating to talk.

Smitty — where do you think she got the Peter Parker wig? Last I checked, MJ had long red hair.

Wild coincidence enough that she happened to be dropped in the convertable that just happened to be right near the alley where Peter hid his streetclothes after he changed into SM AND where the studio kept her stunt dummy (Dummy?! What kind of motion picture studio uses stunt dummies anymore, let alone stores it in an alley?!).

AND that must’ve been the fastest costume change in the history of live theater (with the possible exception of “A Tuna Christmas”) considering in the previous strip, MJ was thanking Spidey for saving her whilst still clad in her curve-hugging dress.

But the WIG! Explain the WIG, Stan Lee!!

btw, this is the first instance where I’ve discovered that the Rhino didn’t have his jaw wired shut — heretofore, he’d only spoken through clenched teeth.
Dondi
July 6th, 2005 at 9:54 am [Reply]

Frida’s not concerned about Mark Trail, because she’s gotten the mutant raccoon near Boyd’s house to do her dirty work.

Meanwhile, the Meddler is about to show the Barfly her “shrine of sorts” … in her bedroom. Oh, the suspense.
Anne Nonymous
July 6th, 2005 at 9:55 am [Reply]

Hey, a brief “hello” to all. I’ve missed about a week, here- I’ve been incredibly busy with work, and then a horde of friends dropped over for the holiday week-end (much drinking of beer, wine, Gentleman Jack, and Grey Goose- apologies to the Ketel One aficianados, but the Goose is awfully good, too). Very disappointing turn of events in MW. When is the old bat going to confront Rita? What’s in the “shrine”? Back to work now- I’ll check in when I can.
Anonymous
July 6th, 2005 at 9:58 am [Reply]

This week’s Sally Forth “story arc” is so ‘PC’ that it had to have been concocted either by a focus group or by corporate decree. Why does SF continue to exist? Why, I ask you, why?
luluchappel
July 6th, 2005 at 10:23 am [Reply]

Um, maybe I haven’t been paying close enough attention to the educational Sunday ‘Mark Trail’ strips, but can raccoons really climb trees? Especially giant mutant raccoons on steroids, like the one featured today?
daChipster
July 6th, 2005 at 10:41 am [Reply]

While I’d be extremely disappointed if Sally turned softball practice into an est session, I do like that someone (albeit Ted and Hilary) are espousing my coaching POV “It’s not about winning or losing, it’s about having fun. True, but which is more fun?”

Until Hilary is old enough for softball to be about going to the bar, it’s about winning.

BE THAT AS IT MAY – Ces and Carol are fellow bloggers here, and while I think it’s okay to rib Ces once in awhile (like the “est” crack I just made) – the oh-so-conveniently Anonymous comment above is totally uncool.

Especially as he’s the one comic writer who is completely accessible to the Cardinalate and has given us a peek inside the syndicate kimono.

Or are you the guy who called him a “f*ing retarded English Major?”

Rock on Ces! (but let Ted win this one, huh?)
daChipster
July 6th, 2005 at 10:49 am [Reply]

Meanwhile, we learn that Boyd’s last name is “Carnes” which is Spanish for meats. Maybe his middle name is “Muertes.”

And also meanwhile, near the home of Boyd Deadmeat, Frida’s mutant killer zombie racoon gets sidetracked from his mission of death by the loose lid on a full garbage can.

By such fragile threads in the twisted skein of Fate are fortunes won and lost.
el st ruby
July 6th, 2005 at 10:50 am [Reply]

yes, raccoons climb trees. i’ve got a mama and three adolescent ones living in my garage, and when you try to spray them with a hose, they get up in the rafters.
that is one giant fucking raccoon, though.

i can’t figure out whether or not vincente is quite following his wife. if he is, it’s not showing, and if he’s not, then how the hell did he become vice president of a major corporation?
barrett
July 6th, 2005 at 11:06 am [Reply]

Today’s (Wednesday’s) Mark Trail – It’s a Jonah Jameson crossover. “Parker!! Get me some pictures of that giant Raccon outside!”
Smitty Smedlap
July 6th, 2005 at 11:44 am [Reply]

The Rhino can’t tell that it’s a dummy because he has the relative poor vision of a rhino.

http://www.worldalmanacforkids.com/explore/animals/rhinoceros.html

You’d think that with his acute sense of smell, though, that he’d be able to tell that the “new” Peter Parker smells like the “old” MJ, and that the “new” MJ smells like old socks.

His horn is prized as an aphrodesiac, you know. Maybe if he found himself a lady rhino, and made sweet sweet rhino love with the relative passion of a rhino, he’d be able to ungrit his teeth more often.
fluffytufts
July 6th, 2005 at 11:49 am [Reply]

Pib’s naked!! Really naked!! Au natural! Sans vetements! In her birthday suit!! Holy nude arboreal faeries, Batman!! I. Love. McEldowney.
daChipster
July 6th, 2005 at 11:53 am [Reply]

“made sweet sweet rhino love”

Now THERE’S a phrase that I’ll bet has never before existed in the English language.

Although to my understanding the Bantu have a similar phrase and a tribal code death penalty for being caught at it.
fluffytufts
July 6th, 2005 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

Hey – excuse me. I get a little excited when I see nekkidness in the comics pages. Anyone out there who doesn’t know what post #198 refers to, go to comics.com, click on features and select “Pibgorn.” Grrrrrrrowl!
zillahgirl
July 6th, 2005 at 1:20 pm [Reply]

Is it wrong that I want Mary’s bedroom shrine to somehow involve Cthulhu?
Dennis Jimenez
July 6th, 2005 at 1:26 pm [Reply]

I’m betting on Shiva the Destroyer….
Islamorada Girl
July 6th, 2005 at 1:35 pm [Reply]

And I’m really, really hoping Mary’s bedroom shrine involves dismembered body parts and a signed picture of Tom Cruise.
Dennis Jimenez
July 6th, 2005 at 1:39 pm [Reply]

Re: 203 – Even H.P. Lovecraft couldn’t top that….
Lor
July 6th, 2005 at 3:26 pm [Reply]

Hey, Anne Nonymous! I was wondering where you were.

Why Fity Cent’s Margo-ish look of shock today? How much of a surprise can it be that hospital care is expensive, especially when you don’t have health insurance?
Bill Peschel
July 6th, 2005 at 3:41 pm [Reply]

Cardinals, Ces and I will have to part ways on the value of sports for the kiddies. As a wee one, I, too, trotted across my personal field of dreams. In NE Ohio, the sport of kings in the ’60s was football. We bowed before the gods of Lombardi and Paul Brown. We worshipped Bart Starr and Johnny U and secretly admired Joe Namath. As we practiced, we heard the narrator of NFL films expounding in the voice of God, our successes and our enemies defeats.

Teamwork? Fair play? Sportsmanship? Bull hockey! We played to win! To see our enemies flee the field and cry to their mommies. To see our dads bravely wipe a tear away as we sacrificed our young bodies to the dark gods of the golden gridiron. (”Golden gridiron?” “Shh, he’s on a roll.”)

Sports, like the game of life, is brutal, bloody and short. And we liked it that way!

Soccer is for wussies.
Woodrowfan
July 6th, 2005 at 7:32 pm [Reply]

daChipster, you’re right, neither “made sweet sweet rhino love” OR “sweet sweet rhino love” get any hits in Google.
Islamorada Girl
July 6th, 2005 at 8:07 pm [Reply]

” I hate sports.”
-John Waters
Islamorada Girl
July 6th, 2005 at 8:07 pm [Reply]

” I hate sports.”
-John Waters
Beasley
July 6th, 2005 at 8:14 pm [Reply]

The only folks I’ve ever known who say “winning isn’t everything” are the ones who never win. ;)

/not a sports fan myself.
PizzaBagel
July 6th, 2005 at 10:44 pm [Reply]

I had visions of Ritzilla being led into Miz Meddler’s “shrine of sorts” – her Sanctum Sanctorum (that’s “Sanctorum,” not “Santorum”) – and gazing upon what she believed was a wax effigy of Black Jack Worth, sitting with pipe in hand in his favorite easy chair, only to be told by The Old Gray Mare that it was, in fact, the old boy himself, taxidermized for posterity … and then Rita realizing too late that she was destined for the same fate. Buwahahahaha!
Evaine
May 16th, 2008 at 10:11 am [Reply]

Good post. You make some great points that most people do not fully understand.

“Rarely has the Lockhorns been accused of aiding and abetting the cause of good taste, but consider this: this panel could have described (or, worse, depicted) whatever kind of accident it was that somehow involved Leroy’s tongue. Think about it — but not too long, if you value your peace of mind.”

I like how you explained that. Very helpful. Thanks.
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December 6th, 2009 at 9:00 pm [Reply]

WHO could possibly remember the Bickersons ?

Mention of Brick Bradford is incomplete without mention of the Time Top.

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