“Who” indeed
For Better Or For Worse, 7/21/09
Just for the record, I am attempting to maintain, both on general principles and for my own mental health, a moratorium on commenting on retread FBOFW — a foobatorium, if you will. Still, occasionally one of the new strips scattered amongst the reruns demands comment, and this is one of them. I’m not even going to comment on the weird ham-handed acknowledgement of authorial ham-handedness (although notice telling quote marks around “write,” hmmmm); rather I just want to point out that one of these ladies is a lot more enthusiastic about all this deus ex machinaing than the other.
Connie: I moved here specifically because I wanted to be close to you!
Ellie, facial expression carefully neutral: Mmm.
Connie: Lots of people totally lose touch with their college friends and never see them again!
Ellie: Um, yes, that is … what some might expect to happen … with some of their college friends.
Connie: We’re living in a magical storybook!
Ellie: STAY AWAY FROM MY KIDS YOU FEMINIST SINGLE-MOTHER CAREER-WOMAN WHORE.
Apartment 3-G, 7/21/09
Margaret Shulock took over Apartment 3-G writing duties in, I think, late 2005, and when I finally got around to noticing this the following April, I hinted, not even a little subtly, that I should have been given the job. But I can say with some degree of certainty that I would never have come up with a “disgruntled Margo has an audience with the Dalai Lama” scenario. King Features clearly made the correct choice.
Oh, and in that first link, note that Margo is talking about going to law school, a plot thread that clearly has never been heard from again, but how cool would that have been? I’m not sure if she’d be more terrifying as a prosecutor or a defense attorney; I imagine that she’d eventually be the star of her own syndicated judge show, as soon as the prudes at the FCC made it legal to show dismemberments on broadcast TV during the day.
Gil Thorp, 7/21/09
“And by ‘make a call,’ I mean ‘crush this cell phone with my mighty fist’! You see that, evil-doing stalkers? You don’t scare me! GIL SMASH!”
July 21st, 2009 at 4:27 pm
I think the problem with Gil Thorp is that he has never used a cell phone before. Give him a break. He has only just learned how to use the internet. Using cell phones is a bit too much.
July 21st, 2009 at 4:31 pm
Dammit, Roger.
Zip up your fly.
July 21st, 2009 at 4:33 pm
I think having three young children standing stock-still in a line at a play park is just about the behavioural equivalent of dynamiting a forest and getting a fully-assembled log cabin as a result.
July 21st, 2009 at 4:35 pm
Apartment 3-G: Soooo, what’s going on with Tommie?
July 21st, 2009 at 4:37 pm
The Milford Police Department has an odd decor. Those bricks look like the outside corner, but the lettering is clearly showing us we’re inside.
July 21st, 2009 at 4:37 pm
“C’mon, Margo. Maybe you’ll find out what you want to know, and maybe you won’t. But on your deathbed you’ll attain enlightenment. So you’ll have that going for ya.”
July 21st, 2009 at 4:37 pm
@1: I think he’s re-enacting Captain Kirk from the original Star Trek series… *bedeepboop* “This is… Gil Thorp… and I’m… being stalked by… some thing… some THING… in my mailbox…”
July 21st, 2009 at 4:38 pm
Stephen Colbert sure has a hard-on for this Lama character. Me, I’ve laways been more of an “ostrich” man myself.
July 21st, 2009 at 4:45 pm
I think that the Patterson boy child and the bastard wearing the same clothing is rather odd.
July 21st, 2009 at 4:45 pm
The Dalai Lama had best step careful around Margo Magee. She is the female American equivalent of Red China.
July 21st, 2009 at 4:46 pm
Josh, I thought that was an old FBOFW, since Lynn didn’t know how to draw eyes back then.
July 21st, 2009 at 4:47 pm
So the Dalai Lama has lavender walls, bright gold lamps, and houseplants, just like the rest of us.
Forgive my ignorance, but I thought those guys didn’t like killing things and using them for decoration.
July 21st, 2009 at 4:48 pm
7 Jackuul
Great Shatner speak.
July 21st, 2009 at 4:51 pm
I’m delighting in the inconsistent art of Apartment 3-G. It’s like this unpredictable grab-bag of faces: “Today, the part of panel two Roger will be played by Stephen Colbert.”
July 21st, 2009 at 4:53 pm
Judging by the weird angles, I think the phone is already broken. I’m guessing Gil bought one of those plastic cell phones in line at the grocery store that are really filled with hard little pieces of gum, and crushed it before after he was unable to figure out how to get it to upload his angled, shirtless pictures onto MySpace.
July 21st, 2009 at 4:59 pm
I’m fuzzy on Gil Thorp, but is the woman he’s talking to his wife? And is the line about softballs being her problem some kind of bizarre innuendo?
July 21st, 2009 at 4:59 pm
Mollificent, from a couple of threads ago, on Sunday’s 9CL: Um, I’m tall, somewhat thin, own white dress shirt and black pants, have glasses, can dance… darn, the hair’s not right. :) :)
Red Greenback, a few threads ago too: “The only Dingo I know is a bear” is one of the funniest things I’ve seen on here in weeks. Too bad it can’t make COTW because it’d be a clincher!
Naked Bunny with a Whip: So, a SecondLifer, I see. Some day I might check it out.. once no one goes there anymore, like usual. :)
July 21st, 2009 at 5:00 pm
Hey, Margo! Watch where you point that finger! It might go off!
July 21st, 2009 at 5:03 pm
#11 Shlomo — She’s drawing the new-runs somewhat in the style of the old strips, but you can tell the difference pretty easily. This is a genuine old strip:
http://www.fborfw.com/strip_fix/archives/003876.php
The new strips have a lot more going on — more detailed or cluttered, depending on your aesthetic. The zip-a-tone (that sort of grid-like hatching) in the background is also a giveaway of a new strip.
Josh
July 21st, 2009 at 5:04 pm
“The Dalai Lama wishes to give you a blessing, Margo.” That’s like hearing the following sentence in Mark Trail: “Mark, Hugh Hefner wants to commend you on your sexual prowess.”
July 21st, 2009 at 5:05 pm
“I’ll send a unit past your house every once in awhile and walk around with my pinky in my ear up to the first knuckle, but that’s about all I can do.”
July 21st, 2009 at 5:06 pm
Thanks, Josh…I somehow was able to “break” myself from the Foobiverse “reboot” after the lame Grand Finale (still counting the hours til Funky and ‘Shaft finally pull the plug) and here you are dangling it in front of me again.
You should post some sort of warning next time…
July 21st, 2009 at 5:08 pm
Classic Peanuts shows the original copyright date of the strip even though it has today’s date as well.
FOOB just isn’t Classic enough.
July 21st, 2009 at 5:11 pm
Hey Niall, to answer a question/conundrum you had on the previous thread re: Marmaduke:
In the US (and perhaps only in the US), in high school (and maybe in college?) traditionally if you were on a varsity sports team you were said to have “lettered” in that sport. Originally, anyway, you would actually get a physical letter of the alphabet representing the initial of your school, which you could then sew (or have your mom/best girl sew) onto your jacket (which style of jacket was called a letterman’s jacket). “A four-letter man” was someone who would have played on four different teams, or maybe on the same team four different years — I’m kind of fuzzy on that angle myself.
I have no idea if any of this still goes on in American high schools; I associate it all with the sort of idealized ’50s high school culture you see in the movies, though when I ran cross-country my senior year (hooray for no-cut teams!), I did indeed receive a fuzzy felt “T” at the end of the season. This would have been in 1992, and it felt strangely anachronistic to me even then; certainly I did not go out and get a jacket to sew this thing onto.
Obviously, the joke is that Marmaduke is a dog, and therefore cannot really be a varsity athlete. Instead, he has eaten varsity athletes — dozens of them, from the look of it.
Josh
July 21st, 2009 at 5:11 pm
FBoFW
Michael and Lawrence appear to be huddled together in confused dismay. Don’t they know how to play at a park?
July 21st, 2009 at 5:12 pm
Gil: Gee, Coach Mrs. Coach Thorp, I sure wish you were getting stalked instead of me.
CMCT: Thanks, dear.
July 21st, 2009 at 5:12 pm
emmer @ 16: Yep, that’s the lovely and talented, if occasionally Escheral (Escheric? Escherish? Escherical?) Mimi, Gil’s wife. She’s a softball coach; hence, his remark. Unfortunately, we’re unable to rule out bizarreness of any kind.
July 21st, 2009 at 5:19 pm
GT’s wife is the women’s softball coach, but don’t let that stop you from using your dirty dirty imagination!
July 21st, 2009 at 5:21 pm
27 boojum:
Do you perhaps mean Escher-esque?
July 21st, 2009 at 5:22 pm
MW – Just chatting with Lawrence by phone prompted Delilah to immediately change back into her yellow slut outfit.
July 21st, 2009 at 5:23 pm
Margo is the only one who could get blessed by the Dalai Lama and make it sound like she’s doing him a favor. “Okay, fine, but make it quick! And don’t you dare try to fill me with lovingkindness, if you know what’s good for you!”
July 21st, 2009 at 5:25 pm
Crankshaft: I’VE GOT IT!!! There’s only one person more decrepit, more vile, more hateful than Crankshaft himself. The would be the guy that caused Ed to miss his one/only chance to make it to the Big Leagues by taking advantage of Ed’s inability to read. THAT’S the guy in the wheelchair with the MudHen’s hat.
And, if I remember right, it was the same guy that was racist to that “Clambake”-like character we occasionally see making up stories about the Castro Brothers cheating in the Havana League.
Having figured this out, though… that means we may be in for two sappy weeks where Ed and this SOB reconcile their differences just before one of them (probably not Ed) shakes off this mortal coil.
July 21st, 2009 at 5:26 pm
“Foobatorium” sounds like a place one would visit to experience a slow, painful death…except the first visit wouldn’t quite result in death, so a second visit would be necessary.
Also: they do still award varsity letters in high school athletics, but I don’t think they’re as coveted as they used to be.
July 21st, 2009 at 5:31 pm
I can’t believe you didn’t comment on the Mary Worth cameo in today’s Pearls Before Swine!
July 21st, 2009 at 5:32 pm
32 Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
That’s a very interesting and well thought out proposition. However, those flashbacks sure look like the young Crankshaft.
July 21st, 2009 at 5:34 pm
11–That is def. new FOOB–older FOOBs don’t have the cluttered background, long heads, and elaborate back stories.
I honestly think “single mother” is too progressive for FOOB; it should be “unwed mother.”
July 21st, 2009 at 5:39 pm
“The Dalai Lama wishes to give you a blessing, Margo. And by ‘blessing’, I of course mean ‘exorcism’.”
July 21st, 2009 at 5:39 pm
Margo is obviously a tulku, and soon will assume her mission in this incarnation. This will mostly involve scaring Tibet’s oppressors into submission, and will take a couple of weeks (nine years, strip time).
July 21st, 2009 at 5:41 pm
“Foobatorium?” It’s a little too close to “vomitorium” for my tastes. Get out the bucket!
July 21st, 2009 at 5:42 pm
#32 – Al – That may very well be… it has a batuikesque ring to it, but I still think the whole story smells like legs, whether it’s Shaft or his nemesis.
Either way, I hope Batuik chokes on one of Gil Thorp’s balls. By which I mean his testicles, not the random baseballs he’s been finding through his window and in the mailbox.
July 21st, 2009 at 5:43 pm
Before anyone responds, I know what a vomitorium really is.
July 21st, 2009 at 5:44 pm
Gil Thorp has a wife? I had no idea! That’s like finding out that Marmaduke has a soul! My world is completely torn asunder now!
July 21st, 2009 at 5:51 pm
31: something like this?
http://ninja-theatre.com/wiki/2009-06-04_Zen_Boop
July 21st, 2009 at 5:53 pm
re: letters/Marmaduke; as someone who lettered in drama, I feel confident to say that they aren’t near as significant as they were once upon a time. I can’t even imagine where to find a letter jacket; lord knows if I could I would be wearing that thing.
July 21st, 2009 at 5:54 pm
You know, I’ve enjoyed making fun of the agonizingly drawn-out romance between Brad and Toni as much as anyone, but from me they get a pass today. I confess I broke out in a smile reading today’s “I love you” strip.
July 21st, 2009 at 5:59 pm
GT: The letterer must have accidentally omitted the last line: “Thank you, Thing!”
July 21st, 2009 at 6:00 pm
Someone should “tell” her that quotation marks are “not” for emphasis. THIS IS WHY CAPSLOCK WAS INVENTED.
July 21st, 2009 at 6:02 pm
Am I the only one who gets the impression that Connie and Ellie did some things in college… things that Ellie would like to forget, but that Connie still dreams about when she lies in bed at night? And Ellie’s ignoring her friend’s feelings at her own peril…. One of these days, she might come home and find Mr. B. boiling on the stove.
July 21st, 2009 at 6:05 pm
Shorter Margo:
That was actually a longer Margo, but you know the way she rolls.
Next week, Margo meets Jesus:
It’s sort of beautiful, if by ‘it’ you mean something else entirely.
July 21st, 2009 at 6:05 pm
48 — …need brain bleached….
July 21st, 2009 at 6:13 pm
#48 BigTed – That is a mind-expanding alternate take on the FOOBiverse, I tell ya.
July 21st, 2009 at 6:32 pm
Wow. Now I see why they had Spider-man re-married to Mary Jane. Without her there, that diner dinner dialogue would have all the homoerotic undertext as befits underwear on the outside perverts.
July 21st, 2009 at 6:41 pm
Margo’s just distracted by her father’s peculiar dye-job. Did he do that himself with some printer’s ink and masking tape?
Josh, the thought of Margo as a lawyer is too awful to contemplate. God help me, if I ever had to go up against her in court, I would tell my client he was doomed, and fall to my knees and beg for mercy.
July 21st, 2009 at 6:50 pm
My son was a varsity football player in high school.He not only received the LETTERS, he also received the JACKET. It came with the stuff already sewed on (by this I mean the letters, his name, school logo, etc)..
This is not only reserved for athletes, either.Many of the other school departments (music, drama, etc.) had jackets as well. You have to have completed a certain number of semesters to “letter” in the subject (or department.)
But this is Texas. Can’t say about other places.
On a sidenote, it is a subject of great hilarity in our family that my husband lettered in bowling.
July 21st, 2009 at 6:58 pm
Judging by the inhaler in his hand, Gil’s call is going to be to the doctor to report a baseball-induced asthma attack. He’s become just the sort of pencil-necked geek he probably despises even though they never actually show up in Milford.
July 21st, 2009 at 7:03 pm
huh…Delilah makes a call….Gil makes a call. I don’t think this is so much a comics cross-over week as a comics “let’s draw cell phones!” week.
July 21st, 2009 at 7:05 pm
Next week, in a very special Apartment 3-G, Margo grabs the Dalai Lama by the balls and yells in his face for six straight days.
July 21st, 2009 at 7:06 pm
Luann: As much I’ve had my share of snark when it came to Toni and Brad, I was SO surprised that they had this tender moment. It made me smile and I hope Brad finally gets what he really needs.
Why is the author suddenly letting them be happy?
Oh wait, this might all be a dream or some cruel trick.
Everyone knows from reading Funk Winkerbean and other comics you eventually die literally from a disease OR have an empty shell of a life. But if you have the great fortune of your backfromthedead husband returning from Iraq, they may be hope for you.
Unless you are Becky’s husband, then there is no hope left at all. At least he runs a comic store. Poor Les must be jealous
July 21st, 2009 at 7:14 pm
Exactly what kind of “story book” is Connie talking about here, The Soporific Non-Adventure of the College Acquaintances Who Eventually Became Neighbors and Made Desultory Conversation While Watching Their Kids Not Play in the Park? Sometimes “gripping” seems like such an inadequate word.
July 21st, 2009 at 7:18 pm
So Gil’s going to “make a call.” We can only hope it’s to Clambake.
July 21st, 2009 at 7:20 pm
Gil: “I won’t have my wife worried! Let’s get Dr. Feelgood on the horn and score this little lady some heroin!”
July 21st, 2009 at 7:25 pm
Letter jackets were fairly common among both the athletes and artists when I was in high school too (granted, this was about fifteen years ago). I had one with my drama and choir letters on it–much like my class ring, I thought it was the coolest thing up until the point I went to college, when it got relegated to storage.
July 21st, 2009 at 7:31 pm
AG3: What if the Lama is Margo’s man in disguise? Just saying.
Crank: I like the idea of Cranky being warned by the grim future of a Marley like throwaway character. It promises his death. I’m sorry Batiuk is feeling mortal by his dad’s passing. Imagine if Cranky becomes sweetness and light.
July 21st, 2009 at 7:45 pm
Margo doesn’t care about your human “laws”. All she cares about is money. She’d be a tort lawyer or something.
I’m curious who Gil thinks he’s going to call, seeing as he’s already exhausted his cop option. Either he doesn’t realize that the FBI doesn’t care, or he’s planning on calling in Barry Bonds to stand threateningly next to his mailbox (Barry still needs a job, right?).
July 21st, 2009 at 7:47 pm
Regarding today’s B.C.: Holy crap, B.C. is about lighting animals on fire. Live animals. How far it’s come in so little time. *sniff* It’s beautiful to think about how all the shlocky junk that made the strip interminable is slowly being replaced with themes that seem to be ripped from the bowels of the soul.
July 21st, 2009 at 7:50 pm
I hope Margo’s audience with the Dalai Lama doesn’t end with broken limbs like her audience with the Pope.
July 21st, 2009 at 8:06 pm
0 wolf –
Her fault for trying to steal the guy’s shoes.
July 21st, 2009 at 8:11 pm
59: Certainly float-worthy.
reFoob: Michael looks concerned that Lawrence is going to lead him into the woods again to play doctor.
July 21st, 2009 at 8:13 pm
GT: Hey Chief! Ever consider the possibility that this might be an inside job?
July 21st, 2009 at 8:14 pm
Every time Lynn inserts a “new” strip into the reruns, 90% of the time it is some boring piece of driftwood where Elly talks to one of her friends and that’s all that happens, no plot advancement or jokes allowed.
I’ve got a reprint book of (at least most of) the 1980 arc where Elly and the kids go to Winnipeg to see the grandparents and leave John alone. Lynn’s revised version cut the grandparents out entirely, and revolved the entire situation around John — which is strange. You can’t claim it’s out of divorcee revenge, because that kind of act would result in HIM getting cut.
July 21st, 2009 at 8:16 pm
67 Uncle Lumpy: “Her fault for trying to steal the guy’s shoes.”
Goddam! I never knew fishermen had such fancy shoes.
July 21st, 2009 at 8:18 pm
Here’s hoping Gil’s call is to Kaz, P.I. Let the punching begin!
July 21st, 2009 at 8:22 pm
It looks like we’re not the only ones who recognize Mary Worth’s evil powers of making things move slowly. Today’s Pearls Before Swine says it all.
http://comics.com/pearls_before_swine/2009-07-21
More importantly, does this imply that Mary is a closet lesbian? This raises many questions–most of which I’d prefer to leave unanswered. *shudders*
July 21st, 2009 at 8:28 pm
65 Parmalat Loire: I don’t ordinarily read BC, but I went and looked at it just now—and I’m sorry I did. It’s ripped from the bowels of something, that’s for sure.
July 21st, 2009 at 8:57 pm
Someone call Capcom, Margo needs to be the bad guy in the next Phoenix Wright game immediately!
July 21st, 2009 at 9:01 pm
I’m looking forward to Margo lecturing the Dalai Lama about how Tibet is a lost cause. Assuming his blessing doesn’t cause her to shrivel and burst into flame.
July 21st, 2009 at 9:13 pm
Three-Gee: “…And by ‘The Dalai Lama’, I mean ‘my penis’. And by ‘Blessing’, I mean ‘porking’.”
July 21st, 2009 at 9:26 pm
I have to say, Margo refusing an audience with the Dalai Lama to me means she took a Level Up in Badass. (Must… not… go… to TVTropes. Goddamn it!)
Also, why can’t Lynn Johnston just retire and die quietly in her own irrelevance?
July 21st, 2009 at 9:39 pm
I’m curious who Gil thinks he’s going to call, seeing as he’s already exhausted his cop option.
@64. He’s probably calling his secret weapon, Coach Kaz, private detective and space-bender brain puncher.
July 21st, 2009 at 9:42 pm
67 Uncle Lumpy — Uhm, Your Holiness, Dorothy called, she wants her shoes back.
July 21st, 2009 at 9:43 pm
9CL: Well, to paraphrase one of the greatest movies of the 20th century, it looks like Amos and Edda are up shit creek.
Luann: Well, here we are then….I feel like Wile E. Coyote where he finally catches the Roadrunner, but thanks to running through a series of shrinking water-pipes, he’s something like two inches tall, and while he’s got his big toe, there’s Roadrunner looking down at him. Then he asks, ” Okay folks, you’ve always wanted me to catch him. Now what do I do?”
Spider-Man: Okay, Wolverine, in the past, has slept in parks, but he was usually hammer drunk, and the object of his affection, usually an Asian woman with ties to the Yakuza, had called him unworthy. But he just got back from dinner with the Parkers, and, in what must actually be a new experience for him, didn’t even TRY to touch MJ in her bathing suit areas. Plus, he seems sober….
Funky Winkerbean: Okay, believe it or not, today’s Funky is more badass than Wolverine’s guest shot in Spider-Man. For this week at least, Logan may be in the wrong strip.
July 21st, 2009 at 9:54 pm
I think “softballs” are would definately be Gil’s problem as well!
Oh God, I’m weak.
July 21st, 2009 at 10:22 pm
72 AirForbes: Here’s hoping it then turns out that the baseball stalker IS Coach Kaz, still seething with resentment over quitting his job with Gail Martin so he could keep his crappy assistant coaching job with a team that not only consistently refers to “playoffs” as “playdowns,” but also loses so routinely that nobody outside Milford even considers the possibility that they might progress to State. That, and Gil still owes him his last 3 paychecks.
Also, today’s Sally Forth reveals the extent to which constant failure and disappointment has aged poor Ted. Why, one rude comment from a tweenaged softball player and his hair turns shock white!
Also also, I now feel that that is not Crankshaft but one of Crankshaft’s old Mudhen friends, who will soon become bedridden, leaving Crankshaft to reveal some past betrayal while his friend lays prone and unable to express any anger at his mistreatment. Then his friend will die, and Crank will make some desperately inappropriate remark about the man’s gastrointestinal state while still alive. In short, the usual wacky hijinks are in store!
July 21st, 2009 at 10:23 pm
Margo as a lawyer? There’d be a site to see. Hey, in an unrelated note, ever heard one of those jokes that’ll make about 1, 2% of the readers laugh and baffle everyone else?
http://objection.mrdictionary.net/go.php?n=3163606
Yeah, me neither.
July 21st, 2009 at 10:23 pm
*My husband’s reaction to hearing that Margo was going to meet with the Dali Lama*
“Why is the Dali Lama meeting with Margo?!”
“Maybe he likes a challenge?”
“She will break him on her -knee-! She will snap him in half! She will chew off his -balls-! It will not end well.”
And he hardly ever reads Comics Curmudgeon.
July 21st, 2009 at 10:24 pm
Re-Foob — I did nature programs at a summer camp for a few years, and I never saw kids standing around outside with expressions quite like that. Are they on wee little downers, or what?
July 21st, 2009 at 10:29 pm
#75 Aw man, Gnoll, you beat me to it. XD
July 21st, 2009 at 10:31 pm
I just wish they were softballs, then they’d be your problem, you… you… GIRL!
July 21st, 2009 at 10:32 pm
86-Poteet,
I think the Foobers are surprised because this is the first time they have been to this place you call outside. They have no idea what to do, because there are no controls visible, or screens. They are worried about breaking something.
I hope they run, and run far and fast.
July 21st, 2009 at 10:46 pm
Lolsworth @ 57
I think you win the internet with that comment.
And now I can’t help feeling that some really good 3-G AU fanfiction could be written around Margo being a lawyer. Maybe her audience with the Dalai Lama will trigger one of those “It’s A Wonderful Life” plots where he shows her what the world would be like if she’d finished law school and gone into practice as a defense attorney.
Of course, the poor Lama would then be faced with a devastated, charred earth with humans reduced to nothing more than pathetic mutants (like Wolverine in Spider-Man right now — hey, AU crossover fic!) who only exist to serve Margo’s every whim.
Tommie and LuAnn would be leaders of the resistance, but a Terminator disguised as any number of the indistinguishable men from the 3-G universe (or Stephen Colbert) would hunt them down until they were forced to flee into the past and live it all over again.
Hmm.
Excuse me, I have a story to write…
July 21st, 2009 at 10:51 pm
Geez, B.C. creates controversy and it gets almost no mention on here (except #65 Parmalat Loire).
Sheesh… Johnny Hart Studios actually pulled the original strip and apologized on their site! (comics.com did too, apparently)
Heck, somebody even wrote a NEWS story about it:
http://www.ledger-enquirer.com/news/breaking_news/story/783745.html
July 21st, 2009 at 10:54 pm
83 OMJulie – Gil probably stuck him with the tab at PUB, too.
July 21st, 2009 at 11:16 pm
#90 the angry black woman – God bless you for that post. You had me smiling and chuckling right up until the bit about the Terminator, which came just as my own thoughts were headed that direction and had me on the floor. Bravo, and I hope you take COTW.
July 21st, 2009 at 11:16 pm
@91 – I didn’t see the original one, myself. I couldn’t tell what the heck Parmalat was talking about.
July 21st, 2009 at 11:19 pm
24. Josh: Wow! I actually was always curious about the “lettermen” and those stupid giant letters on jackets, but thought everyone had the chance to get those. So now Marmaduke makes sense. Wait a minute, no it doesn’t, but the joke has inched towards credibility a little more.
And it took me a long time to realise what “varsity” meant; I’d always seen it referred as “intra-murals”.
64. Carly: I don’t know, I’d see more Margo as a tart lawyer…
84. Black Drazon: I actually just outright applauded RL.
July 21st, 2009 at 11:23 pm
Niall @ 95-As has been mentioned above, it isn’t always sports. Dear son lettered for jazz band-4 years.
July 21st, 2009 at 11:25 pm
#84 – Well, I got a good laugh over it. Seeing as I’m the only one who counts, your time was worthwhile. ;)
July 21st, 2009 at 11:35 pm
# 91 Rotten Arsenal — Thanks. Interesting. Guess it’s just as well I didn’t see the original.
July 21st, 2009 at 11:39 pm
re-FOOB: Get ready for another 6 days of SmElly and Connie patting themselves on the back, while dripping with self-congratulatory bullshit.
July 21st, 2009 at 11:53 pm
91. Rotten Arsenal: I don’t read B.C. until it was noted today. Big effin’ whoop — how does running an alternate strip on the internet magically change the original run in papers across the country?
Not ragging on you, but I did follow the URL with the strip and write directly to JohnHartStudios.com
95. Niall: our pathetic HS athletic department fought tooth and nail to prevent anyone from getting a letter sweater unless it was in athletics (we had a great track and swim program, but for the most part, if you weren’t football or basketball, you weren’t shyte). It wasn’t until I was a senior (in 1974/5) that letter sweaters became available for Band/Orchestra and Choir.
July 22nd, 2009 at 12:17 am
# 91 Rotten Arsenal – Thanks for the link. Good Lord but that B.C strip was creepy. I don’t understand how it made it through to be published at all. Who would ever think it was funny? Even for a moment. Even if you were very drunk or high, I don’t see how anyone with at least a tenuous claim to decency could ever, even for one nanosecond, have though that strip was funny – let alone the whole “team” of people the article said now produces the strip (what’s the deal with this “team” business? I thought they said that after Hart died his son inherited the right to the strip in some quasi-feudal fashion). This isn’t the fist B.C. strip that has had some hint at animal abuse. I remember just a few months ago there was some strip involving a really lame pun on “seals” making too much noise and then a panel showing two seals (the mammal kind) covered in oil. Die, B.C., Die
July 22nd, 2009 at 12:29 am
FC: They used this joke when Socks was the first cat.
July 22nd, 2009 at 12:44 am
Meddle House Mirror, mirror on the dresser/ what will you say to your confessor?
July 22nd, 2009 at 1:03 am
Margo 3-G Did Eric offer to trade places with Tim or some noble damn thing? Guess he’d be nervous about proposing to her. Prison might look pretty damn good, at that.
Fist O Justice Theater Now dammit, if Mark just HAPPENS to carry Joey up to the car and ask for a ride, I’m going to be really pissed off that Jackelrod can’t come up with something better than this.
Kit Walker, Lair Ranger Nice lamps, comfy seating, cozy setting and a wet bar – so that’s what hanging around in an Assassin’s Lair looks like!
July 22nd, 2009 at 1:14 am
Regarding “lettering”, I lettered in scholastic bowl in high school. There were a few kids from other schools who got jackets solely for their scholastic bowl letters. We mocked them mercilessly. We may have been nerds, but there were still nerdier nerds below us.
July 22nd, 2009 at 1:18 am
I would officially forgive Lynn Johnston for all her foobcrimes if the children in the first panel started chanting, “we are coming…we are coming…”
(And those of you who don’t get that need to start watching more British SciFi.)
July 22nd, 2009 at 1:26 am
MW: Apparently, Delilah brought just the one outfit for trolling for quick, tawdry sex at Charterstone. I imagine that she banked on the thought that most of the males entombed in the place wouldn’t remember she’d worn that outfit already as she stripped it off for yet another quickie behind the oleander bushes surrounding the pool.
As for that reflection in the mirror, that must be the mirror of Dorian Gray, showing Delilah’s true nature. Of course, if it were to show her real nature, it would have to include one of those “content unsuitable for young children or anyone with semi-decent eyesight” warnings before displaying the reflection so people would know to skip to another comic before their eyes bled.
July 22nd, 2009 at 1:27 am
Josh, great pick on the Foob retread! I was a bit worried that all this deus-ex-machismo was going to lead to Connie slipping Elly a bit of religious literature on how He has His own Plan for each and every one of us.
A3G: Tenzin shaved off his blond hair? Given that Tim Mills’ hair appears gone as well, perhaps there are big changes afoot. All generic men in this strip will no longer be blond. When the action finally gets back to Lu Ann and Tommie, get ready for their next love interests to basically look like a skinny Michael Chiklis.
MW: Get ready for spooky chills of “The MIrror of Delilah” — in panel 1, her facial expression is clearly pissed off but in her reflection she’s wistfuly soaking up Lawrence’s anger and frustration. When examined through my handy stereopticon device, the facial expressions are averaged into an unsure anger. Hopefully Mary’s magic mirror will become a fixture of future plots.
Luann: And now it only remains to be seen whether Brad can overcome his difficulty in reaching intimacy with a woman whose face looks like a Mrs. Potatohead toy. If not, he and TJ will be stuck dutch-ruddering each other on laundry days.
Funky Pantysniffer: Oh, Mrs. Robinson, are you trying to seduce me? If so, getting “embedded” is pretty easy even in a war zone. In the thousands of years of recorded military history, creativity has always flourished where carnal opportunity presents itself. Meanwhile back stateside, it’s been probably five years since the last time Funky even saw his penis.
MT: Anonymous Shooter gets an award for “most inept assassin ever”. Did he just drive a car into the middle of Lost Forest, non-fatally shoot Joey Williams and completely miss Mark Trail? Getting his car stuck is only the icing on the cake.
Spider-Man: In panel 2, Wolverine’s apparently being pickpocketed by a very stupid alien. Given a wide choice of targets, does it make sense to steal from a schmuck who’s sleeping on a bench?!?
PBS: Mary Worth!!! Oh, my day has been made.
July 22nd, 2009 at 1:30 am
WTF GT GAIL MARTIN mention!! Ah, the glory of the past revisits us!
Sweet and…not as Shallow *GASP!* yeah but just wait until Jocasta DeGroot finds out.
PASTIS FOR KING I laughed at today’s PBS like I was sucking on nitrous oxide! O. M. G. what a killer!
July 22nd, 2009 at 1:34 am
I’ve been trying to figure out what kind of blue worms were on Wolverine’s face, and then I remembered he’s guesting in Spider-Man. That means no answer will ever make sense, so I will just have to make up an answer for myself. Sort of like the way the storylines are written, just made up day to day with not meaning or connection whatsoever.
July 22nd, 2009 at 1:41 am
Had to go read PBS.
Holy Hannah. Pastis made the trip worthwhile.
(Get it? “Worth”-while…Never mind. I spent the evening cleaning up cat barf, which, now that I think about it, is not unlike reading some of the daily comics.)
July 22nd, 2009 at 2:09 am
Thanks commodorejohn! I felt that, given everything we’ve seen, it’s all inevitable. I think this is why they are keeping the dalai lama locked behind some bars. In case, when he returns from the alternate universe with Margo, he doesn’t kill everyone in the world to save them from that horrible vision.
Meanwhile… Wednesday Blondie seems to be about how Dagwood’s brains are all set to dribble out of his ear from trying to understand any part of what The Young People are up to these days.
Or else he’s about to stomp that bird.
also, in Mary Worth, I am less concerned with the mirror of doom and more concerned how Delilah’s top keeps morphing into something more and more revealing while alternately getting less and less sexy. I cannot imagine any real world piece of clothing being held together by just one button between the boobs.
And, of course, Pearls Before Swine is bringing the genius this week. I wonder if they knew Mary was going to be absent from these strips? It really is like they stole her so Delilah could get some solo screen time with Laurence.
July 22nd, 2009 at 2:27 am
Mary Worth: WTF? Mary keeps a commemorative photo plate of Deliah proudly displayed on her end table. Obsession anyone?
Mark Trail: Except that his bullet actually made contact with its victim, this has to be the most clueless hit man ever. Wore clothes that would qualify as camouflage in an inferno instead of a forest, not using a silencer on his gun, and taking a 1974 Lincoln Continental off-road to the kill zone. I guess we should be glad he didn’t put up a 20 foot red neon sign announcing his presence.
Pluggers: I call shenanigans. It’s true that Pluggers love ice cream, along with anything with lots of sugar and fat but there is no way they’re going to spend hours at manual labor to get it when they spend 20 minutes in their their falling-apart decades old trucks to get a palletload of Double Chocolate Chip at Sam’s Club for $12.99.
July 22nd, 2009 at 2:27 am
Gasoline Alley is coming up on what could potentially be a hilarious sequence — a crook posing as a pastor tries to give a sermon, even though he has never read the Bible until two days before. Even such Biblical figures as Adam, Eve, and Noah were apparently unknown to him until his cram session with the Bible the night before last.
I realize I need to lower my expectations, because hilarity is probably not going to ensue. But in the hands of a funnier comic strip, it could.
July 22nd, 2009 at 2:29 am
#112 the angry black woman – I’d say the matter of Delilah’s single button is negligible since judging by her reaction to Charley, she’d likely prefer something easy to remove (the little tart!) It’s as if she’s buying from the Too Skimpy Even For Hooter’s Collection.
July 22nd, 2009 at 2:42 am
New Ones:
GT: A coach being harassed with baseballs. Popeye, I think you’re being one-upped.
Ghost-Who-Walks-Hey-I-Can’t-Come-Up-With-A-Gem-Every-Time-Y’-Know!: The really, really boring assassins’ lair.
July 22nd, 2009 at 2:44 am
Archie: Reggie, Boy George called to tell you that shirt is gay.*
#49 TruthOfAngels: “Shut up, beardy!” I can SO see Margo saying this to Jesus.
* Definitiion 3.
July 22nd, 2009 at 2:50 am
#17 Niall: Oh, with enough hair gel (or bacon grease) I’m sure we could muss it up a treat. Your hair, that is. Um.
:)
*studiously avoiding reading post-midnight snark…must…save….comics…for…morning…*
July 22nd, 2009 at 3:06 am
Fred Bassett: Lio got your number!
Rose is Rose: Stick it to those hyperhappy Lucky Charm floating weirdos, squirrels! Good on ya!
July 22nd, 2009 at 3:06 am
New Twos:
A3G: Tenzin: “The Dalai Lama really didn’t want to see you. I… I just needed a ruse — kiss me, you fool…!” Elevenzen and Twelvezen had no comment.
DtM: “No, but this comic series is.”
ReFOOB: Not that it’ll make much difference to Lawrence later, of course.
HotC: Actually, he’s entering Cerebus’s Mind Games.
H&J: Most contrived set-up ever.
MT: Then, the squadron of squirrels will devour the hit man, the end.
MW: Judging by the “mirror” image of Del and the hair”style” of Lawrence, it’s clear that these so-called geniuses are merely bubbleheads.
NS: Well, I was enjoying this storyline until now…
July 22nd, 2009 at 3:35 am
New Yorker Caption Contest: “Rate my gas mask!”
July 22nd, 2009 at 4:37 am
Crankshaft today has the guy with 2 girls, and since Crank himself has 2 daughters, I’m pretty sure this is supposed to be him. Why the cap is different, I have no idea. I blew up the Monday strip and the cap is just a cartoony baseball player at the bat, it doesn’t seem to have significance. No significance YET, probably.
July 22nd, 2009 at 4:41 am
Crankshaft: Turns out the black baseball cap is a Toledo Mud Hens cap, and Crank used to play for the Mud Hens — someone on Usenet pointed that out. Maybe this is an alternate timeline “what if he had made it to the majors” thing.
July 22nd, 2009 at 4:58 am
Crankshaft: You know what would be great right now? If he hops out of his wheelchair and does the Six Flags Dance routine, gets everyone on his bus, and drives them to Six Flags.
Then the prophesy would be complete…
July 22nd, 2009 at 6:42 am
MT – One of the great things about Mark Trail is authentic and totally believable dialogue. I can definitely imagine a hit man dressed as Elmer Fudd saying, “The more I race the engine, the deeper the tires go.”
It probably ought to be pointed out that K-Cars had front wheel drive so, unless the transaxle goes out (and there’s about a fifty-fifty chance of that) he should be able to get out of that “ditch.” But that’s okay. Elrod puts his research into that fabulous dialogue, not, you know, details such as facts.
I love this strip, is what I’m saying.
July 22nd, 2009 at 7:05 am
re-FOOB: Not that it will make any difference for Lawrence…..
Luann: Greg Evans obviously doesn’t know jack shit about attraction…
July 22nd, 2009 at 7:08 am
Gil Thorp – the only man who can hold a cell phone even more awkwardly than Dick Tracy!
July 22nd, 2009 at 7:14 am
#114 Joshua – Actually, a meteor will get dropped on the church before the sermon, crushing the larcenous couple. Since Upton accepted Jesus into his heart in a fit of boredom the night before, he goes to Heaven, while Ramona is cast down into a pit of fire for all eternity to suffer alongside the gays, the rock-and-roll listeners, and the Jesuits.
July 22nd, 2009 at 7:35 am
95: Here’s what was posted:
“We have decided that today’s original strip was in poor taste. The mail we have been receiving from our readers unanimously agrees that it was simply NOT FUNNY! We agree, it was offensive.”
Now if that can be spread to Lynn, Batlik, Brooke…..
Luann: Where’s her shoes? Is Evans telling us subtlely that she’s knocked up?
GT: I hope they find out Gil is being stalk by Nuke LaRoosh.
PBS: Win for the week.
Dilbert: Too bad they ended the “Dilbert forced to go to anger management class because he reacted to his idiot boss”. I was getting a kick out of reading the strips.
July 22nd, 2009 at 7:55 am
I plan to keep on reading Mark Trail no matter WHAT happens.
July 22nd, 2009 at 8:04 am
100 Bats: Oh I did the same thing. I sent a message to JHS (got a couple of responses from Patti Hart, too) and also sent a letter to the editor of my local paper expressing my outrage. I’ve also saved a copy of the original strip onto my computer so that it can’t be completely buried. I might add it to the Wikipedia entry.
The next time I hear somebody complain about a newer strip that they find unfunny and want it removed, I’m bringing up this example of a fine, upstanding legacy strip as a response.
July 22nd, 2009 at 8:04 am
MT: As the shooter continues his futile struggles to escape the squirrels gather…..to feed.
MW: It’s the HAIR Frank, I can’t stand the pompodour a minute longer!
A3G: Finally! Margo meets Lex Luthor. Now we’re talkin’.
Archie: Bernie Madoff–the Teen Years.
9CL: The same has been asked about Brooke, I’m thinkin’.
July 22nd, 2009 at 8:08 am
Archie – I want a shirt like Reggie’s! With any luck, the creepiness factor will ensure that I never have to talk to anyone face-to-face again.
BC – Flava Flav wears what he wants, when he wants!
DT – Dick Tracy is apparently afraid that if he doesn’t step things up, the Ministry of Accuracy is going to take his first name away.
GA – Gaah! Bad closeup! Bad!
GF – Y’know, Francis, that explains a lot.
Luann – What, is she going to pop the question tomorrow?
Luann – Isn’t it about time for Brad to say something jerkish about Dirk and ruin things?
July 22nd, 2009 at 9:05 am
Mary Worth – I am not a heterosexual, although I played one in High School, and perhaps heterosexual marriages are different than same-sex marriages, but it seems to me that a basic rule of marriage should be that if you are taking an unspecified period of time off from the marriage, it is only polite to explain to your spouse why.
I don’t understand why Mary is not urging Delilah to at least mention to Lawrence why she is at Charterstone.
In a similar vein, I am not a woman, although again I once played one in the same High School, a production of Arsenic and Old Lace, so I do not understand the physics of that yellow blouse. Wouldn’t it fall off or slide up?
Gil Thorp – all this high school stuff, including the conversations about “lettering”, leads me to Gil Thorp. My summer has been difficult this year with problems too dull to mention publicly, but the mere thought that there will be an encore performance of the Gail Martin private dick show fills me with hope and joy. Kaz is exactly the sort of PE coach that I regularly fell for while playing a HS heterosexual and I eagerly await these new hijinks. Bring them on.
July 22nd, 2009 at 9:27 am
JP: April has quite the talent for making even boring legal matters sound like sex talk. Sadly, wasting that talent on Randy is akin to, say, Denyce Graves singing at a middle-school talent show.
MW: I’ve been perplexed by the way Delilah seems to have a different face in just about every panel, but now that I see the globe on her dresser, it all makes sense. She’s wearing her “irritated” face and saving her “wistful” face for later. What I don’t want to see is Mary’s collection of faces.
HtH: At first, I thought the premise here was silly, but then I realized that it’s essentially the same deal that Joey Williams made to resolve his gambling debts. So now I think it’s really silly.
BB: Pink erasers aren’t manly, General. Nor is shrieking like a tween at a Jonas Brothers concert when the doctor lays a well-oiled finger on your wrinkly ass.
Blondie: I work with college freshmen, and do you know who uses the word “peeps”? Not the average freshman but his middle-aged professors who use it ironically to joke about what big dorks they are.
July 22nd, 2009 at 9:31 am
130 True Fable
Even if they chain a goat to a log?
July 22nd, 2009 at 9:36 am
91 Rotten Arsenal: Thank you for the link. I wrote to them to, suggesting that their apology would carry more weight were it accompanied by a donation to a group that fights the sort of cruelty they advocated.
July 22nd, 2009 at 9:37 am
Archie: I think the AJGLU is becoming mature and even a little world-weary. It’s drawn Cammie in the second panel with narrow, cynical eyes, and ironically using a Jasper Johns painting as a t-shirt. I anticipate more Reggie strips.
Baldo: In older comics, characters wearing pince-nez glasses are common enough. Mostly, they’re older, male, “establishment” characters, like Principal Weatherbee and Mr Dithers. I think amongst newer comics you only have Tia Carmen, depending on whether you find Doonesbury to be older or newer.
’shaft: Just kill him and be done with it, Batiuk.
Edge City: Len, listen to what Rajiv is trying to tell you: when your friends are unemployed, they become un-persons.
‘bean: Just let ‘em screw and be done with it, Batiuk.
Jump Start: “I meant I like going to David Lynch movies, silly!”
Mary: Actual Delilah is determined, but reflection-Delilah is worried. Either it’s Art or sloppy drawing.
Phantom: If you call your hideout “Assassin’s :air”, you’re just making it easy for the Unknown Commander.
July 22nd, 2009 at 9:40 am
I don’t care if it’s only a fleeting mention, the return of Gail Martin takes me to sunny days past. Sing Tarzana Nights!
July 22nd, 2009 at 9:42 am
Am I to understand that Mary Worth commissioned a Franklin Mint Commemorative Plate of Delilah talking on the phone? Can we assume that she has one made for all of her house guests, perhaps to give as a parting gift once she’s done meddling in their lives?
July 22nd, 2009 at 9:42 am
Shaftgate, Day 3 – The more buildup we have to lead us to think this is Ed Crankshaft, the more convinced I am that Batuik and Ayers are trying to pull a fast one on the good readers of their strip.
That is definitely a flashback to Ed and his girls Pam and Chris. But is the guy slung low in his wheelchair Ed? The clothes, hair and nose all say yes. My gut is starting to say no.
But perhaps this is what Batuik meant when he was talking about “writing”, because it sure as hell wasn’t a rehashed plot wherein Wally unexpectedly returns after having been a hostage for a decade (again).
What a fuckstick.
July 22nd, 2009 at 9:45 am
# 49, TruthofAngels, “Shut it, beardy” made me laugh until I cried.
I work for a large religous organization coughCatholicscough and I intend to work “I need facts, not a blessing” into as many conversations today as I can. And there will be a few.
July 22nd, 2009 at 9:46 am
The Middletons, 7/21: Jesus H. Tap-Dancing Christ, the government is not shutting down car dealers! It’s bad enough that apparently neither the writer nor the artist or this strip could be bothered to actually read any of the nine million articles explaining the dealer reductions with, y’know, actual facts, but didn’t their editor at the syndicate think to say, “Hey, guys, this isn’t how it works?”
Maybe next week, we can have a hilarious gag based on the notion that eight percent is a controlling interest.
Luann and Doonesbury: Toni Daytona was introduced in 2002, according to Wikipedia, and Brad has finally gotten a kiss and an “I love you” after chasing her for seven years. Alex and Toggle just met what, two months ago? And here they are in bed, no agony, no fanfare, just “Yup, they’re sleeping together.”
Both are preferable to the shenanigans in 9CL, though.
July 22nd, 2009 at 9:47 am
138 (me): If you call your hideout “Assassin’s Lair,” it’s even easier.
July 22nd, 2009 at 9:49 am
141 (Allie Cat): Batiuk always slows things down too much. By the time anything happens, it’s impossible to care any more.
July 22nd, 2009 at 9:53 am
#113 – you stole my comment! (which was, rhino-man sweating into an ice cream churn? yummy! – it would be easier and cheaper to load up on Blue Bunny at Walmart) – your comment was similar to, but way better than mine!
BC: I noticed the utter cruelty of that strip. WTF? I felt bad the rest of the day. I don’t care if his ugly cavemen demean, insult, or kill each other – but WTF is it with casual reference to that kind of animal abuse???
FOOB: Does Lynn Johnson think she’s throwing her drooling fans a bone with this self-reference? Maybe to see if anyone is reading her lame strip and send in comments to her site.
Letters and The Jackets They Are Sewn To: I went to school in the ’60s and vaguely remember some guys wearing purple wool letter jackets (with white leather sleeves). My husband ran track in school in the ’70s and collected countless letters (L’s if you want to know) – half the wall in his man cave is covered with tacked up L’s. He never mentioned a letter jacket, though.
Luanne: well, moving along here…I hope Brad and his lady love decide to move in together because I’m looking forward to the hysteria from his mom. And TJ, of course.
July 22nd, 2009 at 9:57 am
“Connie, the question isn’t who, it’s “why?” I’ve lived my life dammit. I saw Mike marry that bitch Deeana, I’ve seen Liz grow up and be much more beautiful and free spirited that I ever was, then move to North Mooseknuckle and get jiggy with that total loser Anthony. I even seen that wreched mutt die. Why am I being forced to relive all this? Wasnt there enough pain the first time around? And couldn’t I be draw with a figure like that ballerina slut on chickweed lane? *SOB* its not fair!
July 22nd, 2009 at 10:01 am
7/22
OBH: Don’t know enough German to evaluate Joe’s letter, but one should take his endorsement of BabelFish type programs with a grain of salt. They don’t help you much beyond picking the right nouns.
A3G: Well let’s see. He’s bald. The colorists miraculously remembered to give him orange robes. Aside from that, this cornfed white guy bears less than no resemblance to the Dalai Lama. Methinks the president of the Margo Magee Fan Club pulled a particularly convoluted stunt to meet his idol.
MT: Karmic death comes for the shooter, in the form of a giant carnivorous squirrel.
Marvin: Marvin dismembers a houseplant three feet from the grandmother, and she just stares contentedly at the Polident commercial. I’d love to know the street value of whatever meds she’s on.
H&L: Miss Buxley’s niece is wary of following in her aunt’s footsteps.
Phantom: “Hey guy’s, I’ve been thinking. Maybe we shouldn’t have put that sign out front that says ‘Assassins’ Lair.’ I mean, yeah, it makes it easier for us to find the place. On the other hand, it could help people find us, too.”
9CL: Um, does the nun see something she wants to tap? Moving right along here…
Luann: Pssst, Brad. The voices are coming from inside your head.
JP: “It’s funny. This guy who lost his money wanted to kill DiVito, and he told me all about it while I was the presiding judge. Guess I just have one of those faces you trust, y’know?”
SFx: Sure, sausages, bananas, whole chickens. Throw it all in, even the live octopus. Hey, when someone dares you to make the most inedible soup you can, you pull out all the stops.
H&J: This is going to be Uhuru’s thing from now on. She’ll be the girl who puts mundane thoughts into the most racially inflammatory words. Tune in laundry day, when she says, “It’s time we did some ethnic cleansing.”
July 22nd, 2009 at 10:07 am
BC – please note – I went to JohnHartStudios.com to complain about that appalling strip, and they admitted some readers were offended. They offered a lame apology that they were sorry readers didn’t find it funny!!!
What dicks.
July 22nd, 2009 at 10:08 am
re: Gil Thorp:
All I can say is, that artist is rockin’ some heavy parallel perspective in that second panel. Or are we to assume that Gil and his lady friend have been placed under a coverslip for microscopic viewing? If so, I can save the researchers a lot of wasted time: guys, life here is NOT worth the effort to study.
July 22nd, 2009 at 10:19 am
#134 gabacho,
The yellow blouse will not fall off or ride up! Not while it and the breast it guards are living under Mary’s roof. The blouse will hold itself together, physics be damned! Does Mary make herself understood?
BTW, I love Arsenic. Were you one of the sweet old poisoners?
July 22nd, 2009 at 10:23 am
ReFoob — Way to go, Connie, refusing to answer innocent first questions about sex. Apparently you and Elly are drawn together by your incompetent parenting as well as your dear departed college days.
Luann — Evans, I’m no artist, but even I know that you need to make Toni’s left foot smaller or her leg longer. Eww.
July 22nd, 2009 at 10:26 am
#141 Old School Allie Cat,
Your gut and mine are in agreement here. I’m pretty sure this is another one of Fast Ed’s friends who have fallen to the depredations (spelling?) of age. That allows Tom to have it both ways. He can show how horrible aging is, while having his title character show no ill effects aside from white hair and being a cantankerous prick.
July 22nd, 2009 at 10:34 am
PHANTOM — I’ve been fairly bored by the breathless dithering over the Unknown Commander. But this glimpse of assassins taking it easy in their special place after a hard day’s work, weapons casually strewn on the sofa, definitely compensates.
July 22nd, 2009 at 10:41 am
Phantom: I wonder what assassins keep in a barn? A dead duck?
July 22nd, 2009 at 10:47 am
Cathy: This “vacationing is hard work!” screed has lasted longer than most actual vacations.
C’shaft: Sheesh–you know, my mom lost her father earlier this year too, and she’s had to deal with my father having a heart attack and a motorcycle accident within a month of each other, and she’s still only exhibited a fraction of the soul-crushing misery Batiuk puts into his strips.
reFOOB: So, Connie is one of those ultra-fundamentalist parents who believe that even acknowledging the existence of genitalia to children will irreparably damage their tiny innocent minds. I’m surprised she didn’t call for an exorcist when Lawrence came out to her.
HotC: Ha-ha, it’s funny because he’s suffering permanent brain damage!
Luann: Is Lynn Johnston ghost-writing for other comics now?
MW: Personally, I think Delilah is the witch from Return to Oz and that’s one of her spare heads in storage on the dresser.
July 22nd, 2009 at 10:50 am
FW: And the Answer is: Oral Sex.
July 22nd, 2009 at 10:51 am
141: Old School Alley Cat, I think you’re right. My bet is that it’s the coach of the Mudhens from when Crankshaft was a player. Maybe the nurse is bringing him to a game where all the old Mudhens (at least the ones who are still alive) will be gathering to give their old coach one more huzzah before Happy McDeath brings him sweet release.
July 22nd, 2009 at 10:59 am
ReFoob — This strip raises the question again (barely, for anyone who marginally cares) of when ReFoob is supposed to be taking place. Connie’s reaction to Lawrence’s question would have been unenlightened even in the Seventies. But nowadays, it puts her in the same category as people who think it’s fine for toddlers to live on soft drinks, hot dogs, and M & Ms. So which is it, Lynn? Is Connie dumb or is she incredibly dumb?
July 22nd, 2009 at 11:01 am
Today’s Luann made me happy for a few reasons: Toni and Brad are happy for the moment, it was written subtly, and for the last few days I haven’t had to pay attention to the insufferable Luann.
July 22nd, 2009 at 11:10 am
PBS: I don’t know how Mary Worth got there but she looks like she really, really, really doesn’t want to be there.
How does it feel to be meddled with? Huh, Mary? Huh? Huh?
July 22nd, 2009 at 11:11 am
A3G: I love that new Federation uniform that Patrick Stewart is modeling in panel 2, and I even like that “retro” look for the remodeled helm. (It has a “Tardis” feel to it.) However, I can’t say I get good vibes about this strange new alien life form that the Enterprise has encountered. And they thought they had trouble with Tribbles!
Phantom: The “Assassin’s Lair” looks like the sort of murder-for-hire training camp that graduates hit men who fire “WHAM!”-emitting rifles that can be heard for miles around, who only graze their target, who wear bright orange ambush clothes, who get stuck in the mud when they make their getaway, and who get devoured by squirrels.
July 22nd, 2009 at 11:15 am
This call thing just totally creeped me out. Gil looks so cheerful, though he’s obviously about to call for some heavy backup. No, I don’t mean “Hello, Vito? My wife is worried about this stalker. Take care of it for me, know what I mean? 30 large if the problem goes away by Friday.” But that would be too easy. I’m thinking something more like “Hello, Margo? …” Brrrrr.
July 22nd, 2009 at 11:32 am
#24 – Josh – re: Lettermen:
I got that “joke”, although it took a minute. I thought for a moment about putting in an explanation yesterday, but no one had asked, so I assumed that maybe it was understood. But I just wanted to relay the experience that I had in middle school, Kakiat Jr. High. We would get a “K” if we were on a team. If you lettered for three years, as it was a 3 year school, you would have a fashionable jacket with “KKK” clearly emblazoned on the front, back, or wherever to wear in all the finest neighborhoods of NY. After all, who is going to mess with a tough 9th grader who spent three straight years on the tennis, swim or soccer team?
July 22nd, 2009 at 11:44 am
@164 Hogenmogen-What, they didn’t just do bars for multiyear participation? Most schools I’ve seen just awarded the initial letter, then gave bars for the second and ongoing years and multiple activities/sports.
July 22nd, 2009 at 11:45 am
Comics by Women – “There’s still a spark here, but we’re obviously not compatible in the long run.”
Comics by Men – “You were there to literally catch me when I literally fell! I love you for ever and ever!”
July 22nd, 2009 at 11:47 am
164 Hogenmogen
That’s a funny story. The high school to which I went had a big LW. It would have taken too much space for us to get another big LW each year so we received stripes to wear on our sleeves for each year we lettered. Those of us who achieved three stripes were known as “Sarge” with the privilege of beating the crap out of Beetle Bailey.
July 22nd, 2009 at 12:00 pm
#129 – Yes, you’ve nailed it. Of course Toni’s pregnant, with Dirk’s baby. That’s the only way this story line makes sense. No way Dirk will take responsibility, so Toni is running to Brad to find a “nice guy” to raise her kid.
July 22nd, 2009 at 12:30 pm
“That’s plenty weird, Gil. Not as weird as how my fingers have grown into my neck, mind you, but, still, more or less weird.”
July 22nd, 2009 at 1:35 pm
The damage this week’s Luann is going to do to countless naive teenage boys is almost unbear – wait, I forgot teenage boys would rather swallow a bottle rocket than read Luann.
You dodged a bullet there, little friends.
July 22nd, 2009 at 1:47 pm
Joey Williams’ talking car gets some helpful advice from a savvy squirrel on today’s “Click and Clack present Mark Trail(tm)”
July 22nd, 2009 at 2:18 pm
131. Rotten Arsenal: sounds like a plan. Crap, hiding under the guise of humor, shouldn’t be dismissed.
I received a “we’re sorry” response from Patti Hart, too.
July 22nd, 2009 at 3:17 pm
155: Afl-ACK! (or even worse, a live Guard Duck!)
July 23rd, 2009 at 10:15 am
Connie, “Hey, completely out of left-field, but do you reckon my boy is gay?”
July 23rd, 2009 at 2:38 pm
#130 — True Fable:
Oh, I agree with you.
I, too, plan TO keep on READING Mark TRAIL no matter what happens!
July 23rd, 2009 at 8:15 pm
In the second panel of FBOFW, Ellie’s thinking about how much easier (and more delicious) it would be to simply eat her young.
July 26th, 2009 at 3:51 am
Oh Elly, isn’t it nice that fate brought us together again? Who knew we’d be raising our kids together as neighbors? So many people lose touch after university.
True. But from now on, I’m wearing the strap-on.