The Comics Curmudgeon

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Walker-Browne Amalgamated Humor Industries LLC shines a light

Hi and Lois, 8/6/09

Hmm, something has gone very, very wrong in the relationship between Trixie and sunbeam. It used to be that she’d welcome sunbeam through the windows whenever it wanted to come in, and missed it when it was gone. But now she’s actively trying to flee from it, huddling behind a tree in hopes of remaining undetected. Has she realized that sunbeam is a little too persistent? That hanging up heavy curtains is too high price to pay for privacy? Is Chris Hansen going to show up with a camera crew at any moment? “You knew this innocent young girl wanted you to stop coming in through the window, and yet you persisted! Why? Why? Your silence convicts you!”

Crankshaft and B.C., 8/6/09

Well, since I made everyone who may have been avoiding it look at a snake attacking a little dog, I feel obligated to inform you that, against all odds, a pup who can’t weigh more than about ten pounds is going to survive a dose of snake venom that would have felled a full-grown man who has been kept alive for decades longer than his natural lifespan by an unkillable core of pure spite. Don’t take this as evidence that the Winkerverse will cease to be a abattoir of soul-slaughter, though; it’s just that in drama you can get away with doing awful things to people that you could never do to animals, as B.C. seems to have figured out, albeit belatedly.

Mark Trail, 8/6/09

“God, these gangsters have such a terrible grip on me … it’s like they’ve got my nuts locked between their teeth! Sorry for the weird metaphor, sis, but it just popped into my head for some reason.”

Beetle Bailey, 8/6/09

Beetle’s right to be freaked out. Everyone knows it only starts being gay when you can see the other dude’s face.

This entry was posted on Thursday, August 6, 2009 at 03:09 pm and is filed under B.C., Beetle Bailey, Crankshaft, Hi and Lois, Mark Trail.

225 responses to “Walker-Browne Amalgamated Humor Industries LLC shines a light”

Joe Blevins
August 6th, 2009 at 3:18 pm [Reply]

Hey, watch it with those nature factoids, Crankshaft! That’s Mark Trail’s turf!
One-eyed Wolfdog
August 6th, 2009 at 3:20 pm [Reply]

Crock: “No, he says it because he will inseminate absolutely anything.”
Dagger
August 6th, 2009 at 3:20 pm [Reply]

Maybe Trixie owes money to gangsters as well? Or rather to supervillains who can control the sun and are actively working to burn through the tree she’s hiding behind?
Joe Blevins
August 6th, 2009 at 3:22 pm [Reply]

BB: This just in — Sarge regularly beats his lovers to death with a flashlight. But on the plus side, he dresses his dog up in a little uniform. It’s totes adorable!
BigTed
August 6th, 2009 at 3:24 pm [Reply]

We joke about the squirrel’s-eye views in “Mark Trail,” but I do believe this is the first time we’ve seen talk about “waste disposal” literally coming from a rodent’s behind.
Dorian
August 6th, 2009 at 3:24 pm [Reply]

I have to say I understand Trixie’s reticence to be found by Sunbeam–if the ease with which it seems to have annihilated a portion of the fence is any indication, it may not have her best interests at heart.
Jackuul
August 6th, 2009 at 3:26 pm [Reply]

I hate it when you make a comment right before the next post. For some reason it feels like everyone abandons it and is off to the next.
Dan
August 6th, 2009 at 3:27 pm [Reply]

Luann is on day four of Dull Surprise: Teen Sex Edition. In today’s installment, a mingled sense of boredom and dissapointment in panel one becomes slowly dawning awareness in panel three through a slight uncrossing of the eyes.

If this storyline goes on to bring us Luann making out with Quill, Luann watching Quill get into a fight with Elwood over her affections, Luann letting a weeping Gunther down gently, and Luann having a hair-pulling jealousy-fueled catfight with Tiffany, all while maintaining a slack-jawed, heavy-lidded expression of absolute disinterest, I’ll have to send Greg Evans a thank-you note.
Baka Gaijin
August 6th, 2009 at 3:29 pm [Reply]

Slylock Fox: Speaking of “big brown flashes,” I’m sure that girl is sitting on the results of hers. Why else would her putative lover present flowers to her through a hole in the fence? Hell, one of the flowers lost its ~~black part~~ ~~inside thing~~ capitulum from the stink.

Gil Thorp: The world wants to know: Did what’s-his-face make it to Charleston?

Dingo: Stay away from James in One Big Happy or maybe wear some body armor and a steel-reinforced cup just for safety.
sally
August 6th, 2009 at 3:32 pm [Reply]

Sunbeam has wiped out the fence, half the house, and since no one is outside watching a BABY, probably her mother as well! Not to mention the fact that the entire sun seems to have moved a good 40 million miles closer to earth. I’d hide too.
Aviatrix
August 6th, 2009 at 3:33 pm [Reply]

Jackuul @7: Nah, the lack of love for your yesterday’s comment is because it’s too long to instantly scan, and, lacking Dingo’s name at the top, there’s no promise of smut.
Steve S
August 6th, 2009 at 3:34 pm [Reply]

Whoooo lives in an acorn up in a tree? JO-EY . . . uh, what’s his last name?
zenvelo
August 6th, 2009 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

What’s really scary is that BC has a reader feedback web page….
Old School Allie Cat
August 6th, 2009 at 3:36 pm [Reply]

BeBa – Did he say flashlight, because he meant fleshlight.

Which is totally different.

But still gross.
Pozzo
August 6th, 2009 at 3:37 pm [Reply]

Haven’t seen much of the post-Hart BC, but it seems like the Fat Broad doesn’t have as much of a rack as she used to.
One-eyed Wolfdog
August 6th, 2009 at 3:37 pm [Reply]

Marvin: Today’s speech balloons brought to you by Dairy Farmers of America.
gldearman
August 6th, 2009 at 3:39 pm [Reply]

Only in Mark Trail can we see an acorn having a nonchalant conversation with the anus of the squirrel that is about to eat it.

On the plus side, that’s a lot better than what Elrod normally puts out (excepting fisticuffs, of course).
AhClem
August 6th, 2009 at 3:40 pm [Reply]

H&L – The sun seems to have gone nova, incinerating everything in a blinding white heat. Fortunately for Trixie, she’s on the other side of the protective force field. Too bad the same can’t be said for her parents or siblings. Or maybe she finally had enough of being force-fed strained peas and arranged the whole thing herself.
OKStan
August 6th, 2009 at 3:44 pm [Reply]

Hmm, the gigantic squirrel who talks out of his butt seemed to be ignoring the nice fat Jack Elrod nut hanging right below him for the complaining acorn.
Geezil
August 6th, 2009 at 3:44 pm [Reply]

Glad to see that the good folks at Walker Industries decided to color Corporal Yo yellow. Wouldn’t know he’s Asian otherwise.
He Brought Queenie Baby Jesus
August 6th, 2009 at 3:45 pm [Reply]

How fucking hard is it to draw B.C.? Because either the new Harts are very bad at it, or the original Hart was.

Also, tense little conversation between that squirrel’s butt and the acorn its face is about to eat in MT, there.
Dingo
August 6th, 2009 at 3:46 pm [Reply]

I notice that Beetle doesn’t mention what Sarge is doing with the flashlight nor the position he was in at the time. Then again, maybe it wasn’t a flashlight but a fleshlight! (I ain’t embedding a link on here)
long time listener, first time caller
August 6th, 2009 at 3:46 pm [Reply]

Small dogs actually usually do survive rattler bites. So do cats, and even people. I’ve had two cats bitten and my parents’ Jack Russell has been bitten twice (or three times?), and they got better remarkably fast. My aunt got bitten while pregnant and both she and the baby were OK.

Back to your regularly scheduled humorous commenting.
Calico
August 6th, 2009 at 3:50 pm [Reply]

#4 – I think Sarge probably does something else with that flashlight, before the beatings occur.
One-eyed Wolfdog
August 6th, 2009 at 3:51 pm [Reply]

As much as I hate looking at Dinette Set, every time I do, it still says “Knob Job”, plain as day.
Pozzo
August 6th, 2009 at 3:51 pm [Reply]

Incidentally, I assume the intention of H&L is that she’s playing Hide & Seek with the sunbeam. If she was trying to get away from it, she’d probably be thinking that she didn’t think he’d find her so soon, not that it would take him so long to find her.

Of course, that’s not as funny as imagining that the sun is a semi-sentient being on a vengeful path of destruction.
Calico
August 6th, 2009 at 3:52 pm [Reply]

#22 – Sorry Dingo – didn’t read back!
However, as I always like to say, great minds think alike!
White rabbit
August 6th, 2009 at 3:54 pm [Reply]

At last, a squirrel who can talk through his ass! Maybe now he can beat my representative in the next election.
Old School Allie Cat
August 6th, 2009 at 3:58 pm [Reply]

#22 – Dingo – what are the odds, I’d have beat you to that conclusion? See #14.
R Riis
August 6th, 2009 at 4:00 pm [Reply]

Just as I’ve suspected all along: the story lines in “Mark Trail” are blown out of a squirrel’s ass — Jack Elrod just puts it all down on paper.
tb4000
August 6th, 2009 at 4:04 pm [Reply]

B.C. – The Fat Broad is the only character that can get away with physical assault and not have anyone call her on it. Clumsy needs to roll up and show her how strong his pimp hand is.
mr 12 oz can
August 6th, 2009 at 4:04 pm [Reply]

it looks like when theres no mary worth on the board the comment section is like attendence at a wnba game
One-eyed Wolfdog
August 6th, 2009 at 4:06 pm [Reply]

Half the audience in MW can’t hear Lawrence’s soppy new age motivational blather, because he has inadvisedly positioned his speech balloon somewhere between the second and third rows. The second and third rows of cheap folding chairs, that is, of the sort that says “Free Afternoon Community Center Function” quite a bit more than “Summit of Academic Prestige”.
Silhouette
August 6th, 2009 at 4:10 pm [Reply]

To save Tinkerbelle, shouldn’t we have made to clap our hands and say, “I do believe in small dogs, I do believe in small dogs?”
Dingo
August 6th, 2009 at 4:10 pm [Reply]

Hoosier Daddy / Hoosier Baby / Hoosier Buddy / Hoosier Man!

The night crept on like the second feature in a bad drive-in. The air was filled with the scent of ripe magnolia and man musk. Though the windows of the barracks were open, no breezes helped to ease the men’s sweat-stained sleep.

Beetle tossed and turned. He and Sarge had fought again, this time over whether the Atlantic or the Pacific was the better ocean. Beetle preferred the Pacific with its images of grass skirts, swaying palms, and general joie de vivre. Sarge enjoyed puffins, Caribbean spices, and the forced sodomy of the pirate class. As usual, it escalated to the point where Beetle lay in a huddled mass of bone and flesh on the Camp Swampy grounds. He’d kill that son-of-a-bitch if he wanted but the sweet, briny taste of Sarge’s cock in his mouth was something he couldn’t give up. Wouldn’t give up. Sure, there was violence. But, also, there was love.

Otto tapped across the barracks floor; Sarge was back. Beetle pretended to sleep. He turned onto his belly and put his face into the pillow. He felt warm breath on his neck. Sarge spoke.

“You know I could never stay mad at you, don’t you? I love you. I love you with all my heart.”

Sarge ran a paw down Beetle’s back.

“I bought you a present, Beetle. Something for our hikes.” He removed a flashlight from his bag. Beetle stared at it.

“It reminds me of your cock,” he said. “Except it’s not as hard nor as warm.”

Sarge looked into Beetle’s eyes. With one hand, he pulled Beetle’s shorts down to his knees. He spit on the flashlight. Lots of spit until it dripped off and onto the private’s ass.

“I’m gonna make you see an intense white light,” Sarge said. “The light of heaven. The light of the warmth of my love. And I’m gonna shine it right up through your beaudacious ass.”

He pressed the flashlight against the crack of Beetle’s ass. Beetle groaned.

to be continued by Old School Allie Cat
NutellaonToast
August 6th, 2009 at 4:12 pm [Reply]

I think the talking squirrel ass and talking acorns are intentional. It’s MT’s way of being ironic. You know how irony appeals to the youth.
Ktrout
August 6th, 2009 at 4:19 pm [Reply]

By saving the dog the Winkerverse pulled a reverse Foob.
Ranger
August 6th, 2009 at 4:22 pm [Reply]

GT:: No, not my team! No wonder the Astros have a crappy farm system. They go out and pay for beaten down players from Milford. I half expect to see Shep Trembo in the outfield for the Corpus Christi Hooks loosening the salt shaker at some minor league dive. Who scouts for the Astros, Clambake?
Naked Bunny with a Whip
August 6th, 2009 at 4:23 pm [Reply]

MT: When I splay my legs like that up in a tree, the police make me stop. I bet that squirrel on the right is dialing her cellphone right now.
One-eyed Wolfdog
August 6th, 2009 at 4:24 pm [Reply]

GT: He seems to be saying, “As long as it was convenient, sure. But if it’s down to state finals, I will shred all the tender young ligaments that I personally deem necessary.” And I don’t know my Milford history well enough to know if they’ve ever won any finals or not, but there’s evidence here that Gil’s got his staff running sophisticated medical fraud far more effectively than, for example, his footable team ever managed to execute their much-vaunted Wing T offense.
Donald The Anarchist
August 6th, 2009 at 4:27 pm [Reply]

H&L Both hopeful and fearful of the sun’s approach, Trixie remains oblivious to the dark portal that has opened up behind her.

CS It must be all right if Crankie letting fly w/ the bad puns once more. Is the dogs relatively prolific ability to urinate what drives his ire? Jealous much, Mr. Prostate?

BC I don’t know that tiring of the enless mutilation of smaller animals after years and years of it counts as a ’softer side’, exactly. If Ted Bundy had reduced his output to once a year, would we say he’d gone sentimental?

MT Y’know he’s no good to the mobsters dead, but w/ a large enough life insurance policy, he might be good to YOU dead, lady. Just a suggestion…

BB Yes, Yo, Sarge totally welshed on your agreement. I don’t know WHY you want Beetle dead, but it looks like you’re just gonna have to take care of it yourself.
LA Steve
August 6th, 2009 at 4:27 pm [Reply]

Damn, gldearman beat me to it. And said it better, too.
cagleart
August 6th, 2009 at 4:29 pm [Reply]

Why is the squirrel’s butt having a conversation with the acorns??! Maybe these new characters will take over the strip. That would be fun.
Perky Bird
August 6th, 2009 at 4:33 pm [Reply]

# 38 Ranger–

Being from Corpus Christi originally, I have to say that “Hooks” is one of the dumbest names for a team. I mean, come on, it just sets up fans and cheerleaders to be called “Hookers”. (Or maybe I’m just perverted, because now that I live in the DC suburbs, I always hear “Nats” as “Nads”.)
Dingo
August 6th, 2009 at 4:35 pm [Reply]

cagleart, squirrel butt and acorns was actually part of Rodgers & Hammerstein’s “My Favorite Things” until Julie Andrews threw a hissy and demanded it out.

squirrel butt and acorns and bright satin sashes
old pirate porn where the girl gets the lashes
teabagging parties with fried onion rings
these are a few of my favorite things!
One-eyed Wolfdog
August 6th, 2009 at 4:38 pm [Reply]

Fluffy-tailed foxes, librarian glasses
long legs and short skirts that ride up their asses
viscosity
August 6th, 2009 at 4:43 pm [Reply]

surely the misssing verse from “My favourite things”
Sitting in his room and drinking up whisky
Charlie’s a man who just wants to get frisky
Getting shot in the shoulder – that really stings
these are a few of my favourite things
Digger
August 6th, 2009 at 4:46 pm [Reply]

Well, people have sometimes accused Mark Trail of talking out of his ass. Apparently he’s not the only creature in Lost Forest who does this.
V
August 6th, 2009 at 4:46 pm [Reply]

I like to think that the “they didn’t give me any choice” comment in today’s Mark Trail is actually the guilty looking squirrel on the left explaining why he is eating that nut. After all, it could be true.
Comcis Fan
August 6th, 2009 at 4:47 pm [Reply]

Someone who knows how to do these things certainly could experiment with cutting and pasting panels from today’s Funky and Beetle strips.
Little Guy
August 6th, 2009 at 4:54 pm [Reply]

GT: Ah, there you go. $60,000 from the Astros rather than a college scholarship. Yup. Removes all culpability from your shoulders, Coach Douchebag. You’d probably would have told Marie Curie that the radium was giving her complexion a glowing look.
Muffaroo
August 6th, 2009 at 4:56 pm [Reply]

A3G – “Don’t worry about that, tommie. It’s not the words that matter.” “The important thing is you have to sing them. To the tune of ‘Hello Ma Baby!’”

Cshaft – Yeah, it’s possible to cure a little dog like that from a rattlesnake bite. It involves a trip to the pet shop, paying careful attention to distinctive markings.

Dick Happened – I was thinking that the Oldest Beatle was looking even older than usual, until I realized this must be the gunslinger Lorne Green was singing about when I was in third grade. He’d be pretty old now.

HtHorrible – Oh yeah, we’re supposed to believe that Helga is behind the plow.

MTrail – Elrod’s just fucking with us now, or else this strip has definitely jumped the grizzly and is looking to eliminate all the humans from the strip as soon as they can get away with it. There’s a definite cut-out, Dada atmosphere in this one. Time to change the name of the strip to TRAKLI KRAM!

Pluggers – ‘Forever Stamps’ have nothing on the thrifty cartoonist and his canny use of ‘Forever Gags.’ They don’t have to be funny, just durable!

R=R – The cat’s diamonds, the turtle (stealing an old Letterman gag) is hearts. The butterfly looks sort of like a spade, so that means the bird is a club. Pasquale, mirthless grin branded on his hellish kisser, would be the joker.

Chip Whittle @y213 – And why “R. Callman” as the loan officer? Does the name mean anything? It means they’re some friend or associate of one or the other of the creative team. Either that or they get a kickback.

[Back in the 60s, my sister saved up a sufficient number of those little cardboard tokens with pictures of coins on them and got something like ten free Valomilks. (Also made by the folks at, I believe, Pearson Candies -- my favorite thing they made was the peanut butter Smoothie, a peanut butter cup which was coated with MORE peanut butter!)]
Dingo
August 6th, 2009 at 4:58 pm [Reply]

Charley’s a drunkard with porn in his stashes
Show it to children? Oh, no! But… the lasses
Gives you a drink, peruse his DVDs
He is a man who is eager to please

‘lilah is confused her man gives no pleasure
Giving out lectures, success he does measure
If only he’d pinch her pert nipples with ease
Instead she’s with Charley! Here comes the disease

Charterstone stud!
Replace her dud!
Fuck her good now, bro’
Fill up her sweet ‘gina with your briny love
Delilah will be… your ho.
bats :[
August 6th, 2009 at 5:09 pm [Reply]

37. ktrout: I think a reverse FOOB was that tricky skating maneuver what’s-her-name (oh, yeah. Lynn.) in a previous Mary Worth story line was attempting to land if only her overbearing father would. just. get. off. her. case.

It could’ve been a triple Charley, though…
bats :[
August 6th, 2009 at 5:13 pm [Reply]

45-47. aaaaaaaaaand I think we’ve just proven that “The Sound of Music” is a superior musical to “South Pacific”… (yup, 53., too)

Hey, Mooncattie, the Phoenix Roadrunners are up for auction!
Boomer
August 6th, 2009 at 5:15 pm [Reply]

It looks like Trixie has finally discovered what H&L readers have known for quite some time: the sunbeam is getting old.
Lawyerbob
August 6th, 2009 at 5:16 pm [Reply]

Thanks, Elrod. Now we have to decide what we’d rather have a conversation with: a squirrel’s ass or a squirrel’s nuts?
Talking Squirrel
August 6th, 2009 at 5:32 pm [Reply]

15 Pozzo says: “Haven’t seen much of the post-Hart BC, but it seems like the Fat Broad doesn’t have as much of a rack as she used to.”

It actually has the same cubic mass, just spread over a larger area.
Dingo
August 6th, 2009 at 5:36 pm [Reply]

So, is anyone planning to attend Joe Blevin’s concert tonight other than me? I’ll be wearing my Gail Martin shirt if you’d like to say hello.
TruthOfAngels
August 6th, 2009 at 5:54 pm [Reply]

Beetle saw ‘an intense white light’?

How would he know?
Paul1963
August 6th, 2009 at 5:56 pm [Reply]

tb4000 @31: Here’s what would happen if Clumsy rolled up and showed Fat Broad how strong his pimp hand is:

[[Fat Broad standing in the river, about knee-deep. One of the other characters--let's say, Curls--is walking by.]]

[[Curls looks at her, puzzled.]]
CURLS: I thought the river was deeper than that.

FAT BROAD: I’m standing on Clumsy.
[[A few sad little bubbles appear on the surface in front of her.]]
Chyron HR
August 6th, 2009 at 6:01 pm [Reply]

This is a phrase that’s bandied about so often from the halls of academia to the heights of Wall Street that it’s become almost cliche, but when I see the talking anatomy on display in Mark Trail, nothing else seems appropriate but to exclaim, “that shit is bananas.”
Violet
August 6th, 2009 at 6:08 pm [Reply]

So Lawrence’s doctorate is apparently in Banality.
queek
August 6th, 2009 at 6:08 pm [Reply]

40: Milford used to be good for a championship a year in one of the sports at least, back in the day*. I always sort of thought that Milford was the big public school of the conference, and therefore tended to have more athletes just on sheer numbers. I believe that the writers decided that it was a bit much to always be winning, and the Mudlarks have had much less success recently. Perhaps the other schools got bigger?

*I’ve been reading Gil Thorp in the Freep for decades, although I certainly don’t go for memorizing much of it.
Sebastian
August 6th, 2009 at 6:13 pm [Reply]

Next on Crankshaft:

Pam (C’s daughter) is shown with Crankshaft.

Panel 1:
(Pam thought bubble): Hmm… we seem to be replaying events from For Better or Worse. That means…
Panel 2:
Pam: Well, Dad, your granddaughter Mindy is getting married today!
Crankshaft: Aaarrrrgh! (keels over from massive stroke)
Panel 3:
Pam laughs and grins
boojum
August 6th, 2009 at 6:14 pm [Reply]

Abbey gone bra-less and Sam lounging, hirsute;
TJ’s death rictus and cute Ashley’s fursuit;
Neddy and Cedric’s libidinous fling –
These are a few of our favorite things!

Charley in liquor, Godiva on Sultan;
Marty’s bad arm, trapeze girls catapultin’;
Acorns and assholes that suddenly sing —
These are a few of our favorite things!

Hitler’s mustache!
Aldo’s car crash!
Mary’s salmon squares!
Hello, Dalai Lama; Good-bye, Dickweed Lane!
Curmudgeons are everywhere!
Fashion Police
August 6th, 2009 at 6:32 pm [Reply]

Delilah does have some grounds for hope. Her husband’s willingness to appear in public in an orange suit signals some degree of compatibility, at least as far as tackiness goes.
Lisa
August 6th, 2009 at 6:34 pm [Reply]

I liked today’s Curtis.
Fashion Police
August 6th, 2009 at 6:45 pm [Reply]

LuAnn’s hot-pink blouse seems more appropriate to Manhattan than deep in the heart of the South Dakota mountains. It looks like she brought her New York hairdresser with her as well.
Winky's Spleen
August 6th, 2009 at 6:49 pm [Reply]

Dingo #35 – I’m sorry; I enjoy smut as much as anyone. But it has to have some ring of plausibility, and this just loses any chance of verisimilitude: “Sarge looked into Beetle’s eyes.”? No freakin’ way – the price of admission for getting involved with Beetle is, no seeing the eyes ever.
Darkefang
August 6th, 2009 at 6:49 pm [Reply]

#40 One-Eyed Wolfdog –

GT: He seems to be saying, “As long as it was convenient, sure. But if it’s down to state finals, I will shred all the tender young ligaments that I personally deem necessary.” And I don’t know my Milford history well enough to know if they’ve ever won any finals or not, but there’s evidence here that Gil’s got his staff running sophisticated medical fraud far more effectively than, for example, his footable team ever managed to execute their much-vaunted Wing T offense.

When Jenkins wrote the strip, Milford won a state championship in at least one sport pretty much every year. Since Rubin took over, however, Milford’s gone 0fer.

#51 Little Guy –

GT: Ah, there you go. $60,000 from the Astros rather than a college scholarship. Yup. Removes all culpability from your shoulders, Coach Douchebag. You’d probably would have told Marie Curie that the radium was giving her complexion a glowing look.

Actually, Gil advised him to have his agent put a clause in his contract stating that his team would pay college tuition in the future. If Marty didn’t follow that advice, it’s not Gil’s fault.
commodorejohn
August 6th, 2009 at 6:54 pm [Reply]

P.S. to Niall – I got my FTP client working again, so TMNT is on the goComics viewer script.
AboutTheSame
August 6th, 2009 at 6:57 pm [Reply]

Trixie’s just playing hide & seek, not trying to hide. She’s disappointed it took the sun “so long” to find her, not that it managed to do so.
philip
August 6th, 2009 at 7:03 pm [Reply]

Oh, for a minute I thought that Mark Trail was actually taking place inside a squirrels ass.
Izzy
August 6th, 2009 at 7:15 pm [Reply]

Can anyone explain why old biddy repeats the dog’s name in disgust?
Uncle Lumpy
August 6th, 2009 at 7:19 pm [Reply]

She’s correcting Crankshaft’s crummy pun.
Izzy
August 6th, 2009 at 7:20 pm [Reply]

Wow, Crankshaft’s font is so bland that I didn’t even register “Tinklebelle” after reading it 4 times.
Vosh
August 6th, 2009 at 7:33 pm [Reply]

Something very dramatic is occurring in today’s Hi and Lois; they’re preparing for a major time jump. What Trixie thinks is good ol’ Mr. Sunbeam is actually bad ol’ Global Thermonuclear War. Tomorrow, H&L will become B.C. in all its post-apocalyptic glory.
viscosity
August 6th, 2009 at 7:36 pm [Reply]

66 boojum – outstanding!

I spent the train ride home trying to think of a epithet to follow
boobies in blouses without any bra on
watching a movie gives Charlie a hard-on
…
McManx
August 6th, 2009 at 7:38 pm [Reply]

The offending BC comic noted is a copy or a close copy to a series of Hart originals from the 1960s. One ran something like:
Look, see Mommy knit;
See Puff play with the yarn;
See the yarn unwind;
See Mommy stab Puff with the knitting needle.

As a ten year old, I found it hilarious.
gnome de blog
August 6th, 2009 at 7:41 pm [Reply]

I read about a local yokel who somehow acquired a baby rattlesnake, then tried to show off to his buddies (yes, drinking was involved) by kissing it. The only reason he didn’t win a Darwin award is that he somehow survived.

I don’t read Crankshaft, so I don’t really understand the circumstances where the snake bit the dog. Rattlesnakes kill small mammals for food. They also strike to defend themselves, but will usually flee rather than waste venom on something that isn’t food. They are not normally aggressive unless threatened or cornered.

Mostly (as I understand it) you pretty much have to step on a rattlesnake, or try to grab it, to get bitten. I don’t have a lot of personal experience here. Although I have spent a fair chunk of my life in rattlesnake country, I’ve seen exactly two in my life – and one of those was on a highway: I saw it just before I ran over it.

Further, the effective striking range of a rattlesnake is about a third of its length. I doubt if Ohio timber rattlers get up to more than four or five feet, and probably average more like two or three. So Ed must have damn near stepped on it, and there wouldn’t be much room for the dog to interpose himself. And not much time either. Unless I’m completely off base, rattlers are quicker than dogs. Did the dog anticipate the rattlesnake strike?

Another thing: unless you take one totally by surprise, rattlesnakes usually warn you before striking defensively. That’s what the rattles are for. Biting is an absolute last resort. Further, they have heat-sensitive organs in their head. Unless Ed is cold-blooded – a distinct possibility I suppose – the rattler would have sensed his presence and warned him away.

In other words, the whole snake-bites-dog scenario is as far-fetched and gratuitous as Wally Winkerbean being an Iraqi prisoner of war for 10 years before returning to ruin the life of his true love.
sugarpie
August 6th, 2009 at 7:46 pm [Reply]

Dingo, 59 It actually sounds like a good time but I would have had to have left yesterday to make it for curtain (or in Mary Worth time, yellow halter day). I hope you’ll give us a brief review of the festivities..
Shlomo
August 6th, 2009 at 7:50 pm [Reply]

Thanks to panel 2 of Mark Trail, I now have a visual of what it would look like if a squirrel gave head.
SandyH
August 6th, 2009 at 8:04 pm [Reply]

Cranky and Tinkerbell are both lucky they don’t live down here:

http://www.abovetopsecret.com/forum/thread487398/pg1

I am assuming that it’s a Western Diamondback; Manor, Texas is near Austin and this was in a typical suburban neighborhood backyard.
Ukulele Ike
August 6th, 2009 at 8:11 pm [Reply]

One-eyed Wolfdog @ #46: I’m glad I’m not the only one who noticed Maureen’s sudden carelessness with her suit hem today. Usually the skirt’s calf-length, no?
trey le parc
August 6th, 2009 at 8:12 pm [Reply]

The Horrible Batiuk Universe: My idea for a new strip is to have Batiuk experience each type of ailment and death he’s foisted upon his pathetic characters. The ending of each ailment will be Batiuk dying with zero dignity, and a post mortem in which all the characters tell him to his resurrected face how much they loathe him.

It has no commercial potential but I doubt any newspapers are courting advertisers by waving around a Funky Winkerbean strip and saying “Hey, come on! It’s FUNKY in here!”
Katya
August 6th, 2009 at 8:47 pm [Reply]

Hi and Lois:

Sorry, everyone. This is bad news. Very bad news.

Trixie has just learned that the UV rays of the sun cause skin CANCER; that’s why she’s hiding from her old friend Mr. Sunbeam. I’m afraid this is only the beginning of this storyline.

So sorry to have to be the one to enlighten (no pun intended, really; you all have enough to deal with, what with Funky Winkerbean and Crankshaft) everyone.
ashley
August 6th, 2009 at 8:53 pm [Reply]

A friend of mine had a yorkie that was bitten by a rattlesnake right above the eye – that dog is like…five pounds at most. It somehow survived only to get bit AGAIN in pretty much the same place.

It survived that one as well.

So. The dog surviving the bite is definitely possible. Just a bit miraculous.
Katya
August 6th, 2009 at 8:53 pm [Reply]

Beetle Bailey:

Aw, darn! I was hoping Beetle was on his way to the next world, never to be seen here again.
trey le parc
August 6th, 2009 at 9:02 pm [Reply]

#82 Gnome: I’m from rattlesnake country and everything you said is true except for one thing: where Batiuk is concerned, the laws of nature and physics are malevolently warped to inflict the maximum amount of pain and damage, regardless of the affront to whatever theories govern normal and natural behavior. Batiuk is an insatiable well of misery, a repository for all that is gummy, black and malodorous. If you look at him directly he’ll steal your soul. True story.
Twisted_Colour
August 6th, 2009 at 9:03 pm [Reply]

I believe that the squirrel’s comment about having no choice refers to the speaker implanted in its arse.
Talking Squirrel
August 6th, 2009 at 9:08 pm [Reply]

#89 ashley: Tinkerbelle has been fed a steady diet of Montoni’s pizza since puppyhood, and this has caused her immune system to become hypervigilant. Evidently rattler venom is considerably less toxic than the anchovies.
Katya
August 6th, 2009 at 9:10 pm [Reply]

Mark Trail:

Oh, those poor squirrels, getting mixed up with the mob like that. They do have their possible defenses, however. If any of them has rabies, using those sharp teeth is always a good option. Failing that, they could try exposing the bad guys to either their urine or feces and, hopefully, giving them hantavirus. Ha, ha, ha!
Foolkiller
August 6th, 2009 at 9:21 pm [Reply]

I like the the squirrel’s ass is talking about waste disposal.
buckyswife
August 6th, 2009 at 9:35 pm [Reply]

y210 AFKaBen, plus others: Thank you for the informative Wolverine explanation! (Yes, I did ask!) I knew that more information about Wolverine, yadda yadda….

And panel one of today’s strip makes me think of a follow-up question: Does Doc Ock save one of his tentacles just for those times when he has a hard-to-reach itch on his back?

7/y295 Jackuul: I try to read the yesterposts when I’m catching up–but then again, I’m a diligent little geek. And I agree with your principle. The problem with its possible execution, I think, isn’t that people love downbeat topics; it’s that the people writing those comics are in ruts that have been dug through years of repetition, and they lack the talent, motivation, or energy to get themselves out of them. And the same could be said, I guess, for many of their fans.
buckyswife
August 6th, 2009 at 9:49 pm [Reply]

MW: Three hours later, as Lawrence was wrapping up his talk, his rapt but weary audience hung on his every word. “Yes, it may seem as though there are dark clouds above, but if you look closely, you’ll see that silver lining. And look you must, because….” Just then, Lawrence noticed someone come in the door at the back of the meeting room—someone familiar, in fact. “…. because….” The audience, disrupted from their stupor, began to stir.

A faint song could be heard in the back of the room as a female voice warbled, “Some enchanted evening….”

“Del? You’re… you’re here!”

“Oh, Lawrence, yes I am! I am here!”

“Why, Del…” Lawrence could feel a faint sweat begin to break out on his forehead. He glanced at the blonde in the front row, third from the left….

“Lawrence, I’m here!” Delilah began to walk up the aisle.

…. the blonde whose naked back had served as the desk on which he finalized his notes for this very lecture. Lawrence pulled at his now sweaty collar and realized that not even philosophy could help him now.

Cut to:
Mary, still clutching Delilah’s note, a look of blissful self-adoration lingering on her face. And in panel 2: Delilah, sweat-socked feet up on an ottoman, face collapsed in dismay, slumped in front of a video of South Pacific.

And THAT’S how I want this story to end.
Farley's Revenge
August 6th, 2009 at 9:58 pm [Reply]

H&L: Trixie, honey, I hate to break it to you, but you have bigger things to worry about than the sunbeam finding you and crisping you where you sit. No, your old lady left you outside under a tree, alone and unsupervised, to fend for yourself.

On the upside, your photo on the milk carton should be very cute.
Jamus The Bartender
August 6th, 2009 at 10:00 pm [Reply]

Judge Parker: Why, Mr. Baretto, why? Why didn’t you show Abbey and Godiva kissing each other goodnight? Why? That would have been just fine.
Sequitur
August 6th, 2009 at 10:03 pm [Reply]

Mary with salmon squares, Mark slugging bad guys;
No pants on Ziggy and Marvin’s big poop pies;
Winkerverse cancers that spread just like farts;
These are a few of my fav-o-rite snarks.
buckyswife
August 6th, 2009 at 10:13 pm [Reply]

Many thanks to those of you who are sending me to bed with an earworm of adulterated “Favorite Things”! (If I have nightmares about Julie Andrews eating salmon squares or singing to giant squirrels, I’ll know who’s to blame.)
Sequitur
August 6th, 2009 at 10:21 pm [Reply]

101. buckyswife
To sleep, perchance to dream…

Sweet dreams.
V
August 6th, 2009 at 10:24 pm [Reply]

@76:

Crankshaft called the dog tinkLEbell, not tinkERbell. Because, of course, we clearly need more bodily function humor in the comics.
LaziestManOnMars
August 6th, 2009 at 10:41 pm [Reply]

BC Should have apologized for that strip just being unfunny. First of all, If you have kerosene, you don’t need kindling. Secondly, the only kerosene they had when the dinosaurs loitered upon the earth was called “living things.”
Finally… Kindling? I’ve only seen palm trees in the BC world. You would need a dichotomous plant to get a lasting fire.

Oh, and the venom would have rotted the little dog from the inside out. I was looking forward to reading the coroners report.
Chaos
August 6th, 2009 at 11:15 pm [Reply]

I keep looking at Mark Trail comics convinced that the giant animals are talking when, in fact, it is much more mundane. From what I can gather, the hospital is actually inside of the giant squirrel, and Whozits here is shouting loud enough for another giant squirrel (presumably the local supermarket) to hear him.
True Fable
August 6th, 2009 at 11:19 pm [Reply]

sing it, people!

Ditto out swimming in oil slickened sludges,
Anger at Batiuk from all of the ‘Mudgeons,
Armies of gay men and gigantic larks
These are a few of my favorite snarks!

Beautiful women artistically rendered
TJ and Gunther look like they’re transgendered
Magee overseeing the death of a man
No one can call ‘em as well as Josh can! -

When the dog’s bit
When the gloom’s deep
Or the meddling stops
I simply remember my favorite pastime
and then I read snark – ’til I drop!
Farley's Revenge
August 6th, 2009 at 11:36 pm [Reply]

MW: Saw Larry giving his little pep talk and has anyone else noticed the woman in the front row of the oddly arranged audience? She’s holding her hands up in a prayerful pose as though Larry is holding forth on all the mysteries of the universe. Or she really is praying for him to suddenly keel over so they can get the heck out of there sometime before her dotage.

I also have to wonder about the length of that note Del left for Mary. The little voice over has been droning on for a few days now, long enough for Del to be halfway to wherever it is she’s going. By now, Mary has been bored into such a comatose state that she’s fallen off the chair and is now lying on the floor, drool dripping onto her tasteful sweater.

Hey, maybe Charley could drop by and get lucky for the first time in his life! Go Charley!
True Fable
August 6th, 2009 at 11:39 pm [Reply]

And you know, R&H had other great songs that scan the Charterstone scene pretty well:

Don’t eat my salmon squares
Don’t pet my hair too long
Your leer breaks me into song
People will say we’re in lust

Don’t gasp at my soft-core art
Don’t let your face melt off
Don’t run when I try to flirt
People will say we’re in lust

Don’t stay at Mary’s place
Come and have a drink and some chips
Sweetheart, feel my Hammerstein! -
People will say we’re in lust!
Comcis Fan
August 6th, 2009 at 11:59 pm [Reply]

Sally Forth’s heading to visit her mama
Does that mean Ted will have breakfast with Aria?
Wally and Becky and John are confused
Cathy sorts photos and shops for more shoes!

Les is smirking
Lisa’s lurking, in a funky way
Jeremy drools and Herb borrows some tools
And Dagwood goofed off today …
True Fable
August 7th, 2009 at 12:41 am [Reply]

Sam Driver, Chick Magnet So, the way to get a lower price on a horse is to get it to fall in love with you? Hey, they might be easy but they ain’t cheap. Meanwhile, we’re waiting to see if Abbey knocks off that robe.

Meddle House What? Lawrence really does have a last name? I thought he was one of those celebs who just go by one name, you know like Cher… Bono… Elvis… Eminem… Madonna… Bozo…

Apartment of DOOM Well crap, another potentially interesting storyline down the crapper. We could have had a nifty story about Luann’s angry father (why is he angry, what is his deal?) and her mother (don’t know ANYTHING about her yet) or her legions of cousins, aunt, uncles, in-laws, outlaws, bylaws, etc.) or even learn something about prairie flowers and how really boring they are in still life paintings (my opinion!) but NOOOooo, she shows up, there’s a little minor tension and then ZAP she’s on her way back to the Apartment of Doom to ensnare another hapless bland individual for the altar of Margo Magee’s venom reign of terror. But I like that part.

The Amazing Wolverine So how much do villains pull in a year, on the average? In order to afford all that equipment – diamond drills and so forth – Doc’s either got a hell of a Golden Parachute plan or he’s got annuities out the ass, or he’s a better theif than arch-villain. I’m betting on that last instance.

C’haft And yet, you’re still around. Fuck you, Batiuk.

Between Foobs Oh yeah, way to shore up your friend’s feelings and encourage her goals and all that stuff! No I mean, Why the hell are you trying to discourage her? What kind of friend are you? The kind that doesn’t want her friends to succeed in her goals? Jerk. You could have said, “That’s great, because as you work out you’ll lose weight and that will help you get that muscle definition” or something, you know, POSITIVE. Or maybe you don’t know positive, at that.

Fist O Justice Theater
Like a circle in a circle
Like squirrel within a cage
Like a beaver in a lodge house in a deadly kind of rage
Like a squid in Sunday panels or a bear inside a Jeep
Like a chipmunk in a meadow or a big ginormous sheep
In the circles that you find in the maze of Mark Trail’s mind
Ed Dravecky
August 7th, 2009 at 1:02 am [Reply]

I should have stuck with my original vow made way back in 1991 to never read another Batiuk strip after he murdered John Darling to end the 12-year run of that other spin-off from Funky Winkerbean. Somebody call me if Batiuk ever brings the sentient computer back to the high school and makes the strip funny again. Otherwise, I’m done with him for good.
Steve the Pocket
August 7th, 2009 at 1:27 am [Reply]

Doonesbury: I never thought I’d see the day I had to declare Godwin’s Law on this guy. Much less that it would be used on a bunch of adulterous lesser politicians instead of … you know, the guy who’s spent the last six years or so being compared to Hitler by everyone else in the left wing.

Funky Winkerbean: Not that it makes any difference; she’s pretty much the only character in this strip who remotely resembles her pre-time-skip self anyway.

Gasoline Alley: Didn’t the pastor just say that? I swear, the guy’s approach to padding is to write several possible versions of the same strip and then submit them all.

Hi and Lois: So is this what Jeremy from Zits meant the other day when he said teenagers don’t “date” anymore?

Non Sequitur: That is quite possibly the funniest Humpty Dumpty face since that old Kinder Surprise commercial.

Zits: Sorry to burst your bubble, kid, but just because being 18 means you can legally fuck some celebrity twice your age, doesn’t mean it’s gonna happen. Join the line, behind Norm over there.
boojum
August 7th, 2009 at 1:27 am [Reply]

Ed! Welcome to the club! There are a few of us here who read Batiyuck about as often as we try to catch genital warts. Now, when I hear the Mudgies in a roar over his latest doings, I just chuckle and say to the missus, “Well, dear, It looks like Batiyuck is still a hateful asshat! Whatta ya know?”

Everybody, this is Ed Dravecky. He’s seen the light.
Deena in OR
August 7th, 2009 at 1:35 am [Reply]

Rex Morgan: You know, I’ve held out all week commenting on this current storyline, because this is what I do for a living. But Wilson/Nolan, here goes-

That staff person wouldn’t last one week in any reputable, ethical long-term care facility. Guys, go work out your guilt and hostility issues somewhere else than on the backs of people who do some of the hardest physical and emotional work in the country for the least amount of compensation and appreciation.

/rant.
lunarhalo
August 7th, 2009 at 1:38 am [Reply]

As a venomous snake matures it learns not to blow its load of poison too easily(that’s why younger ones are usually more dangerous). The bite itself is not the last resort, so much as releasing the venom. It would be possible that sensing a larger threat in the area, the snake would not have wanted to leave itself completely defenseless and therefore bitten Tinkerbell nonlethally. Either that or Tinkerbell got lucky and Ed killed a harmless reptile.

But far be it for me to defend the verisimilitude of Bathos. On that note:

Listen Ed, show the dog a little respect. It’s been a long time since you popped a wheelie in a school bus. And surviving a snake bite(to save your wobbly-hoe-wielding ass) is the dog equivalent of punching a biker in the face so hard he buys you a beer. Tink’s got a hell of a lot more street cred than you my friend.
lunarhalo
August 7th, 2009 at 1:40 am [Reply]

That’s directed at Ed Crankshaft incidentally, just so there’s no confusion.
True Fable
August 7th, 2009 at 2:07 am [Reply]

#114 Deena in OR – And yet, I’ve seen facilities that are terribly similar to the one now featured in Rex Morgan. I agree that staff members like Soapy McWatcher should be drummed out of a business but they aren’t always. Nothing like greed and the bottom line in a few places, to really smear the overall reputation for the number of good, healthy, properly run facilities out there.

Avert your eyes for the rest of the storyline, darlin’, and be glad you work at a responsible place. :)
Deena in OR
August 7th, 2009 at 2:15 am [Reply]

Fable-Yeah, I’m not denying they’re out there, and I’ve (ever so briefly) worked at a few of them, until I realized where I’d ended up. (Best story…I worked in a facility for about a month, tried to fix what I could, tacked up a Mother Jones article in the break room about unethical nursing homes, anonymously called in and reported the owners/adminstrators to the state, and resigned the next day. They closed within another month.) But there are good places out there, too, with loving caregivers in them. I’m just hoping for balance.
Red Greenback
August 7th, 2009 at 2:27 am [Reply]

I’m tired. I only got the first and last (spoken) line. Feel free to add on. Or not. Good night, all!

Comics snark, keep snarkin’ comics snark,
Snark about things like Marvin’s poo.
Sometimes it’s really thick,
Just like a barky stick,
Sometimes it sprays out like a spigot, ew!

[Spoken]
It’s rare and other-worldly, you like?
True Fable
August 7th, 2009 at 2:35 am [Reply]

#118 Deena in OR – Well, keep in mind this is Rex Morgan after all, a doctor who manages to afford a good living despite rarely seen actually working in his own practice. Instead, he often does things like go on vacation and then work for gratis the whole time, while he still pays for a vacation he never gets to enjoy as planned. Sublime, meet Ridiculous! The only certain balance in this comic is, June’s breasts are roughly the same bodacious size and she stays upright. But that’s more a matter of gravity, really.
NoahSnark
August 7th, 2009 at 2:44 am [Reply]

Bathed is a weird way to describe having a flashlight shone on you, but it becomes true horror when your mind jumps to the image of Sarge gently scrubbing Beetle with a scented body wash. Just try to get that picture out of your head.
curlyfries
August 7th, 2009 at 3:54 am [Reply]

Snarky Winkerstink: Wally now has “facial blindness”? Oh, wait – silly of me, of course he has.

As well as three polyps in his lower intestine that are quickly becoming malignant.

Batiuk is no doubt cursing the fact that he messed up and allowed one bright spot to trickle into the unremitting black ooze that is this strip – if Wally couldn’t remember the faces of any of his captors, he “met” new people every day. On the other hand, he’ll be pretty useless when it comes to identifying anyone for US Intelligence. Ah, fuck you, Batiuk, that makes it a draw.
Hobbes Fan
August 7th, 2009 at 5:13 am [Reply]

FW: “Of course, all the people in this strip look like weathered ninety-year-olds anyway, so you can’t really blame me for not remembering who’s who.”

GT: “You’re still talking about him during our run. Didn’t you get it all out of your system last night in bed??”

MW: Sooo, is he an author, a car salesman, running for office, hosting a bake sale, chaperoning a high school reunion….?
gleeb
August 7th, 2009 at 6:34 am [Reply]

A3-G: No, Lu Ann! Something about Manhattan seems to turn her into an idiot, instead of the calm adult she is in South Dakota.

’shaft: Anything that gets in Ed’s way must die.

Dick: Even Tracy is pissed at the writing.

Edge City: Why does Len have one pocket in the middle of his shirt, anyway? The only place I can think of seeing this fashion is on Dr Zira in Planet of the Apes.

‘bean: Of course, you never forget the face of the woman who runs around with a dumpy comic-book seller every time your back is turned.
People get upset over Batiuk, but I think his heavy-handed melodrama and improbable plot points (venomous snakes in Ohio; prisoner exchanges in Iraq; everybody in town absolutely loving that damn pizza joint.) are really quite funny, if not in the way he intends. He’s like a clown sent to amuse me, but he doesn’t realize it. Compare him to Dick Locher, who we can see does realize that having a character say “it happened,” over and over could get annoying. Locher’s in on the gag; Batiuk is in deadly earnest. Which is always a situation ripe for hilarity.

Gas: Slim tries to steal some of the limelight.

Abbey Driver, spendthrift!: Giving horses away? Come on, Rocky Ledge, despite his silly name, apparently runs a successful satellite manufacturing company! That must be one relaxing shower she just got out of.

Ziggy: It’s not Zig’s car; he’s just in pain from having jammed a fork into his cheek.
John C Fremont
August 7th, 2009 at 6:49 am [Reply]

123 Hobbes Fan – I thought Lawrence was a motivational speaker who lived in a van! Down! By! The RIVER!! (Probably listens to Rodgers and Hammerstein on eight track.)

A3G – So she’s leaving already, and all we’ve seen of South Dakota is an airport and what’s outside the window of her family’s house? Well, stick to what you can almost draw, I guess.

FW – I’m not a real doctor, but I read Rex Morgan, MD, and I’d say you also have something called “facial blandness.” And, what the hell, you’ve probably got cancer, too. And watch out for snakes.
Little Guy
August 7th, 2009 at 7:09 am [Reply]

Massive props to the Mudgeons for their musically-inclined riffs! Wonderful!

JP: Where is the missing strip? NO ONE TAKES A SHOWER THAT QUICK!?!?!??!

Lio: Win win win!

Curtis: She did a Blondie.

72: Then again, Gil said that Oceania has always been at war with Eastasia.
crazyjerseygirl
August 7th, 2009 at 7:48 am [Reply]

What the %$# is it with Spiderman this week? This is the longest scene ever WITHOUT SPIDERMAN. Maybe they are gonna turn the comic over to the X-men? And isb’t Doc Oc supposed to be a super-genius or something? Why is he useing a diamond drill to saw offf Wolverine’s claws? There must be a better tool out there…one that can saw…

Oh and as a member of the BKC (big knockers club) I to want Abby to take it off. Whatever anti-gravity device she is employing would be an absolute boon to womankind.
I would be very dissapointed to see the belly-button scar though, very dissapointed indeed.

~Crazy

P.S. is Crankshaft dead yet or in a coma? Can I go back to reading that comic without having to fear pup-torture? Or should i just give up on Cranky for good?
RSR
August 7th, 2009 at 7:49 am [Reply]

For the love of all that is holy, why can’t anyone get Wally Winkerbean some clothes?! Is he doomed to live in that uniform until he meets his gruesome fate through some horrific disease caused by his exposure to burn pits?
LP2004
August 7th, 2009 at 7:50 am [Reply]

#101 buckyswife: Julie Andrews is an old pro – she had no problem with singing to animated penguins, so I’d imagine giant squirrels wouldn’t faze her.
Dingo
August 7th, 2009 at 7:57 am [Reply]

Well, you all missed a very good concert last night. I drove to Buffalo Grove and listened to the Glenview Community Band of which Joe Blevins is a member. Very nice evening. Very Charterstone. All that was missing was a plate of salmon squares and the scent of octogenarian vagina. The night was heavy on Broadway medleys. Truly enjoyable. Joe, you did a great job!
Amateur
August 7th, 2009 at 8:03 am [Reply]

MW: So . . . Lawrence is a Jonis brother?

*Ducks*
TheCasey
August 7th, 2009 at 8:06 am [Reply]

8/7

9CL – Isn’t Edda Seth’s sister?? Maybe his sexuality isn’t why she wasn’t able to get him to renounce men for her.

GA – CYA, Slim. CYA.

Luann – Ahh, the funny pages. Where behavior is limited to one of two extremes. Also, isn’t Luann a high school girl whose job at the library to put on whatever demeaning costume Gunther comes up with and read stories to kids? How ‘professional’ is she really expected to be?

Monty – When I read this one, I thought he had picked up the lady and she had acted the toad and peed on him. It took a couple of readings to figure it out. Too bad it’s not that funny either way.

RwO – And I suppose that sometime a drawing of a giant squid is just a drawing of a giant squid? Riiiiight.

Six Chix – Am I supposed to be finding the hidden lawyer in this picture or something?
Talking Squirrel
August 7th, 2009 at 8:21 am [Reply]

#112 Steve the Pocket says: “Non Sequitur: That is quite possibly the funniest Humpty Dumpty face since that old Kinder Surprise commercial.”

My assessment: “This is your Herblock H-Bomb on drugs…”

P.S.: Choc-a-Doobie!
One-eyed Wolfdog
August 7th, 2009 at 8:33 am [Reply]

Wow, I hope I can hit the lecture circuit some day with my name on a sweet candy-pink backdrop like Lawrence has. I personally think it would look even more impressively philosophical if it had some unicorns and glitter on it, but I can see that a fiery, uncompromising message like Lawrence’s is best served by something simple, artless, and easily ignored. It was on similar principles, one imagines, that his marriage was founded.
cheech wizard
August 7th, 2009 at 8:34 am [Reply]

GA – This week’s story about Upton’s confession and repentance before the entire congregation has been quite moving. I’m really looking forward to next week, when they stone the harlot that came with him.
mvg
August 7th, 2009 at 8:35 am [Reply]

MW: Hokay, so Lawrence is Elmer Gantry. Despite what the Charterstone inmates believe, he can’t be that big a wig in high-powered philosophy circles, since the emcee refers to him as “Mr. Jonis.” What, Larry, couldn’t quite pull that Ph.D. dissertation outa your ass? No wonder you can’t get it up to make babies w/your “prodigy” child bride.

S4th: No, Sal, there’s the smart thing & the DUMB thing. Repeating the same mistake again & again & expecting a different result is NOT the “right” thing. (Note to Ted: Take advantage of the opportunity Sally’s absence will present to bag Aria while you can, as often as you can, ya craven wuss; you can use the memory of it to get yourself thru all the dreadful, declining years ahead knocking boots w/Sally.)

S-M: D’oh! Hopefully Doc Ock didn’t throw away his receipt from the Home Shopping Network for that “diamond” drill. (Shouldn’t the fact that it looks like an elongated engagement-ring gem rather than an actual DRILL BIT have tipped him off?)

Cshat: If the poison didn’t kill the little rat-dog, it sure wasn’t about to knock YOU off, Ed, you loathsome sack of bile.
tb4000
August 7th, 2009 at 8:46 am [Reply]

A&J: I joked around yesterday about Gene being like Brad in Luann, but after today it is quite obvious he is MUCH more the pimp than DeGroot ever could hope to be. He tapped that ass.
Letch
August 7th, 2009 at 8:59 am [Reply]

More information on Timber Rattlesnakes can be found on the internet!
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
August 7th, 2009 at 9:00 am [Reply]

Agnes: …is begging for Bats :-[ or Dean Booth to swap out the word “Popsicles” for something dirty.

A3G: Exactly how disassociated from reality is LuAnn? She says “(Margo) needs her friends and family around her now” and “I’m coming home” as though those two statements were somehow related.

(WT)DT: Sibyl Trelawney had to get a job with a traveling circus after being sacked from Hogwarts.

FT: Remember when we pointed out that a technology reference is not a punchline? Witness the sad case of a comic strip whose entire premise is technology references. Ha ha! Twitter is like a bird!

thorps. …is begging for Bats :-[ or Dean Booth to change up Gil’s last word balloon for something dirty.

H&L: “But you don’t know how hard I had to work to find a utility that would rip my Dad’s German porn collection to .MP4 format!”

JP: humina humina humina humina…

Big Dog: Not when your concept of “food” includes “minimum-wage counter worker.”

Monty: If I had a nickel for every time that happened to me.

OBH: Psst, James, the correct pirate term is “rum, sodomy, and the lash.”

RwO: You can’t tell me that’s not a penis.

SFx: Today’s “Your Drawing” is a lovely rendition of a freshly unjugged bonsai kitten.

S-M: I thought he couldn’t extend his claws? Now, what’s keeping him from swinging them through Ock’s neck, politeness?
JohnsonDelegate
August 7th, 2009 at 9:03 am [Reply]

Ziggy: If an old car embarrasses these people, imagine how they’ll feel when they find that a bald hobo with no pants has stabbed his own cheek with a fork.
Zla\'od
August 7th, 2009 at 9:08 am [Reply]

Because of your sins, you will be reincarnated as a squirrel.
Zla'od
August 7th, 2009 at 9:17 am [Reply]

Hmmm. Trixie’s address to the sun kind of reminds me of Zarathustra’s.
One-eyed Wolfdog
August 7th, 2009 at 9:17 am [Reply]

FC: This should have been done as an overhead, dashed line strip: “Peed on a tree – - – Peed on a tree – - – Peed on a tree – - – Peed on a tree – - – Peed on a tree – - – Peed on a tree”, and so on. With Marvin taking the week off to do some high concept mother-in-law humor, there’s a rare window for other strips to let their weewee jokes shine, and it would be a pity to squander it by being unduly subtle about things.
One-eyed Wolfdog
August 7th, 2009 at 9:23 am [Reply]

Mt Cage: Is due to have another “win an appearance in the comic” type contest. Just a thought.
AJ
August 7th, 2009 at 9:41 am [Reply]

Wow. Kerosene on a dog. I don’t even particularly like dogs and I didn’t think that B.C. was funny. Of course, I’ve never thought B.C. was funny.
Hank
August 7th, 2009 at 9:50 am [Reply]

RE: Steve the Pocket says, August 7th, 2009 at 1:27 am, re Doonesbury. Yeah, that was one hell of a weird reference for Trudeau to make. Comparing a politician who can’t keep it in his pants to Hitler and Mao? Wow. Not even Jerry Falwell would’ve tried that during the Clinton era. Make me wonder if GT isn’t due for another six month break to recharge his batteries.
Sequitur
August 7th, 2009 at 9:56 am [Reply]

GA: Now that he’s got Slim’s endorsement, Upton better hightail it out of town.
“What! Whatever Slim says can’t be right! STONE HIM!”

ZtP: Today’s Zippy is brought to you by the Idaho Chamber of Commerce whose slogan is “We’re right next to Washington!”
Professor Fate
August 7th, 2009 at 9:58 am [Reply]

FW: Cue the rising organ music – voice over “What will Becky do? Will Wally ever remember? And what of the dumpy comic book guy? Will any of them order a pizza? Tune in tomorrow at this same time for more hedious hack work – this is your announcer saying: Go do something else with your time, life is too short”
Calico
August 7th, 2009 at 9:59 am [Reply]

#145 – A possibility is putting kerosene on that bastard Crankshaft instead!
Sequitur
August 7th, 2009 at 10:04 am [Reply]

FW: This whole storyline will work itself out when Becky dies of cancer. Wally and “dumpy comic book guy” will share the house and become the next Odd Couple.
queek
August 7th, 2009 at 10:05 am [Reply]

PBS: o dear. Pastis went there.

A&J: Gene’s da man.

JP: and this is why Heroes Want Redheads

LaCuc: I am loving these Hello Kitty strips.

RwO: tentacle-pr0n!
Dan
August 7th, 2009 at 10:11 am [Reply]

It’s kind of sad that Lawrence’s five-person standing ovation is being ruined by a visit from Mark McKinney’s headcrusher in the first panel.
Tracer Bullet
August 7th, 2009 at 10:21 am [Reply]

Abby Spencer is the world’s worst pimp.
Boots McLegs
August 7th, 2009 at 10:21 am [Reply]

Everyone knows it only starts being gay when you can see the other dude’s face.

I have to tell you, it’s really hard to tell where the humor stops and the homophobia starts. I’m a little disappointed in you.
Comcis Fan
August 7th, 2009 at 10:29 am [Reply]

#148 Professor Fate: Funny, even if I don’t know what hedious means.
Winky's Spleen
August 7th, 2009 at 10:32 am [Reply]

TheCasey #132 – I’m pretty sure Seth is Edda’s room-mate; I don’t believe Seth ever appeared in the strip before Edda left school and moved to New York.

And yes, it is sad that I know this off the top of my head.
Sequitur
August 7th, 2009 at 10:37 am [Reply]

No kidding.
Just overheard from a coworker on the phone (said in a matter-of-fact voice):
“I’m sorry he had a bear right outside his window.”

Was she talking to the Keene’s on the camping trip?
Dingo
August 7th, 2009 at 10:40 am [Reply]

I finally figured out what’s missing in the Mark Trail second panel. One of those squirrels should be wearing a strand of pearls.
Sequitur
August 7th, 2009 at 10:42 am [Reply]

158. Dingo
DON’T TOUCH THOSE PEARLS!
Chip Whittle
August 7th, 2009 at 10:43 am [Reply]

So Marty DeJong took a $10,000 payout now instead of the cost of college later? With that sort of brainpower no wonder it took him seven years to think of throwing baseballs at Gil Thorp’s house as an ineffective sort of revenge.

Mark Trail: “The tracks seem to be going in a circle! Andy must be following the plot! What’s that, boy? ‘It happened’”?

Hey, it’s the annual Lockhorns display of passive-aggressive sort-of affection. Time to turn over your calendars.

The Other Coast hasn’t looked at a supermarket tabloid in years. Thus the biting on-target satire of publications that mostly report on who Oprah’s dumping forever and ever this week and how the President and First Lady are getting a divorce.

The Academia Waltz runs one of the strips which would in time be remade into a Bloom County, which serves as a sign of how surprisingly skilled Berke Breathed was even early on.

Dog Eat Doug forces me to wonder just how large a Ziggy made of cheddar that I would want. On the one hand, cheddar. On the other, Ziggy. On the third, awwwwww Sophie’s a cute doggy. Yes you are! Yes you are!
Artist formerly known as Ben
August 7th, 2009 at 10:52 am [Reply]

8/7

H&L: “When I said dinner I meant we’d be having sex. And when I said a movie I meant I’d be filming it.”

FW: Prosopagnosia? I had no idea Batiuk would burn through his big reference manual of miseries and afflictions this fast.

S-Shaft: Thanks for reminding us what’s really important, dickhead.

Popeye: Score one for the sea hag. The freshness joke is actually kind of funny.

BC: From her saucer eyes and breathless enthusing that Wiley is “the captain of his own soul” I can only conclude that someone in Cavetown has synthesized LSD, and that the Cute Chick is a proud guinea pig.

JP: Abbey Spencer: Horse Pimp.

MW: “And middle schoolers who think that Mr. Jonis is connected to the Jonas Brothers? Take a business card. Mr. Jonis will be looking for a new wife in a few years.”

M-Dawg: “Unless of course you’re planning to eat the cashier, which… Well, of course you are.”

A3G: Man alive, I can’t wait until Margo gets back. There she’ll be, lining up all her chicest and most expensive black clothes for a week of public mourning. And then she sees Lu Ann, looks her up and down, and says, “Who’s this slackjawed blonde chick?”
mvg
August 7th, 2009 at 10:54 am [Reply]

155: “#148 Professor Fate: Funny, even if I don’t know what hedious means.”

I’m assuming it’s a marriage of “hideous” & “tedious,” which fits quite well.
Sequitur
August 7th, 2009 at 10:56 am [Reply]

I’m sorry. Does Margo need a whoopin’?
Sequitur
August 7th, 2009 at 10:58 am [Reply]

oops. Did I say that out loud?
Artist formerly known as Ben
August 7th, 2009 at 10:59 am [Reply]

#151 queek,

PBS: o dear. Pastis went there.

Indeed. I was laughing so hard I could barely apply the brain bleach.
TheDiva
August 7th, 2009 at 11:16 am [Reply]

BaBl: I’d be a little more disturbed by the fact that the baby’s diaper is apparently leaking crude oil.

C’shaft: I have an aunt like this–everything’s about her, even the suffering of those around her. It’s just as annoying in real life.

FW: There’s just something very creepy about Wally’s expression in panel 3. It almost screams “So you’re going to dump the comic book guy and come back to me, right? Right? I’ve got serious mental trauma and a Glock that says you will!”

Marvin: I see where Marvin gets his winning personality from.

MW: Lawrence’s lectures aren’t attended for his philosophical wisdom but for the neat magic trick he does at the end where he makes every chair in the conference room disappear.
queek
August 7th, 2009 at 11:18 am [Reply]

I’m not sure if we should alert TrueFable or warn him about this story.

http://www.politicsdaily.com/2009/08/07/chelsea-wedding-proposal-those-40-goats-and-20-cows-for-hillary/
Sequitur
August 7th, 2009 at 11:22 am [Reply]

167. queek
Does True Fable have a daughter of which he wants to give away?
Sequitur
August 7th, 2009 at 11:30 am [Reply]

Whoo hoo! My Adobe reader was just updated!
Eh, this isn’t Twitter. Sorry. Carry on.
Steve the Pocket
August 7th, 2009 at 11:43 am [Reply]

@#146 Hank: If he is, he can keep on wishing. They moved him to a schedule where he gets a few weeks of vacation time a year, specifically to avoid long-term sabbaticals like he and Watterson used to take, so they probably wouldn’t let him.
carbunicle
August 7th, 2009 at 11:45 am [Reply]

Mark Trail – The characters are going in a circle in a circular plot with recycled art. We saw this same rendering of Andy on August 1st.
gnome de blog
August 7th, 2009 at 11:46 am [Reply]

No, Mark. The tracks aren’t going in a circle. Andy’s going in a circle. And he’s the smart one.
bats :[
August 7th, 2009 at 11:49 am [Reply]

PBS: so wrong. so good.

139. SS-B: well, yes, that is rife with possibilities, but I prefer the subtle (like a brick):
http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/3797737847/sizes/o/
Professor Fate
August 7th, 2009 at 11:49 am [Reply]

155: sorry another moment of quasi dislexia – letters get jumbled all the time – writing and reading – once I thought I saw a church sign that said “Annoy the Poor service 6 pm.” I shook my head and noted with relief that it really said “Annoint the Poor service” which is a good deal better.
gnome de blog
August 7th, 2009 at 11:52 am [Reply]

Abbey just got out of the shower and they’re talking horseflesh?!??
queek
August 7th, 2009 at 11:54 am [Reply]

168: He’s only mentioned sons iirc.

174: The best church sign that I’ve ever seen was “Virtue is learned at mother’s knee. Vice is learned at some other joint.”
Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
August 7th, 2009 at 11:56 am [Reply]

FW – My 6 year old has a form of this “facial blindness” (sorry, I can’t remember the technical name for it — but it really does exist). Kind of a pain in the keester for him — has a hard time associating names with faces in his classroom unless the other kid has a distinctive voice or hair style.
Marion Delgado
August 7th, 2009 at 12:06 pm [Reply]

The tortured artist Jack Elrod’s apologia in a nutshell:
THEY DIDN’T GIVE ME ANY CHOICE!
Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
August 7th, 2009 at 12:16 pm [Reply]

GT — Aren’t the authors confusing Marty deJong with Marty Moon? After all, $70000 can buy a lot of hookers and cheap booze in 7 years…
gnome de blog
August 7th, 2009 at 12:29 pm [Reply]

128 RSR: Wally’s wearing the Class A uniform so he can remember who he is. He doesn’t recognize his own face in the mirror. He thinks he’s Becky.
commodorejohn
August 7th, 2009 at 12:31 pm [Reply]

Agnes – is at it again. Good Lord.

A3G – …is that it? Was that the entirety of SOUTH DAKOTA!!!? Lame.

Crankshaft – Just…argh.

DT – <voice="Hermes">THAT JUST RAISES FURTHER QUESTIONS!</voice>

FC – The Family Circus. It’s about dogs pissing.

FW – “Because you’re just that special to me. Don’t you feel bad for moving on when I was ‘dead?’ Don’t worry, you will. You whore.”

GT – The time lapse with panels two and three might be artistic…or it might just be a typical Milford spacetime anomaly.

JP – Oh, Baretto.

Luann – Bernice, you’re the one person dedicated to moving the goddamn plot along. Good girl.

MT – “Piglet, whatever it was has now been joined by a whatever-it-is!”

MW – What a douche.

Pluggers – Pluggers have no concept of anything that happened before their birth.

SM – Stan Lee has heard of the concept of a “diamond drill,” but has never actually seen one.
Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
August 7th, 2009 at 1:15 pm [Reply]

re 181 – SM — I’ve got a better one… if Doc Oc actually thought that the diamond drill was going to cut the Adamantium, then why not make HIS claws out of diamonds?
Sequitur
August 7th, 2009 at 1:21 pm [Reply]

182. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
I don’t know, Al. You’re being logical. Don’t forget, we’re talking Spider-man here.
One-eyed Wolfdog
August 7th, 2009 at 1:23 pm [Reply]

Easy. Tentacle crushes diamond, diamond drills adamantium, adamantium slices tentacle.

One, two, THROW – shit. Tied again. This sucks, let’s play something else.
Muffaroo
August 7th, 2009 at 1:31 pm [Reply]

Dick Happened – “The circus was warned there would be a murder!” “I was approached on the sideshow steps by a blind clown who urged me to beware the Ides of July. In retrospect, I guess I shouldn’t have laughed. But he was a freaking clown, for cri-yi!”

FCircus – “Man! Barfy must’ve humped half the trees in the forest!”

HtHorrible – A VIKING with a TEDDY BEAR?? How INAPPROPRIATE is THAT?

(Don’t tell Teddy Roosevelt. He hasn’t been born yet.)

MTrail – “The tracks seem to be going in a circle!” “The man and dog have been joined by another man and another dog! Wait, here’s still another man and still another dog! This is big, Andy!”

(also, Hello to commodorejohn, whose comment at 181 I just saw)

Phantom – A special art assist today from Fletcher Hanks in panel 3.

SSmif – Uh oh, Jughaid’s been dadburned! I’ll bet that means Snuffy’s on fire. (Yeah, he is Jughaid’s uncle, but what happens in Hootin’ Holler stays in Hootin’ Holler, and that includes bloodlines.)

S-Man – Hey, I’ll bet that drill can cut through Wolverine!

Rodgers & Hammerstein – Nosey Mary is the dame we fear,
Nosey Mary is the dame we fear
Nosey Mary is the dame we fear
Now ain’t that too damn bad!

Her gaze is sharper than a jackal’s ear… (3 times)
Now ain’t that too damn bad!

Her plots are thicker than a rhino’s rear…
And smell worse than the Bum Boat’s trash!

Her snacks are deadlier than gonorrhea…
And there ain’t no cure for that!
Now ain’t… that… too… damn… bad!
Baka Gaijin
August 7th, 2009 at 1:32 pm [Reply]

Gil Thorp: “Which he blew.” On hookers and blow! That’s what a normal teenaged athlete would do. Mr. deJong blew his on baseballs and Sharpie markers.
boojum
August 7th, 2009 at 1:34 pm [Reply]

112 Steve the Pocket and 146 Hank: Trudeau’s target in this storyline is not the individual senator but “The Fellowship,” also known as the Family and the National Leadership Council. I’m sorry to say it’s a Christian group with some very wonky elements and a fairly typical Washington tendency to that moral blindness that comes with power. Among the controversies surrounding the group are its occasional positive references to Hitler, or at least to the “Hitler Concept” — a conviction that the elite are given power by God to effect social change.

More information, etc. I would say that much of what I have read about the group tends to be a little hysterical; given the rhetoric on both sides, it’s difficult to get a truly unbiased view of what they believe or. But as a Christian, I ain’t saying much for them.
boojum
August 7th, 2009 at 1:39 pm [Reply]

One-eyed Wolfdog @ 134: If we got to vote on CotW, I know where my loyalties would lie, sir. Stunning.
boojum
August 7th, 2009 at 1:42 pm [Reply]

187 (me): “…what they believe or don’t.” One should always finish one’s.
True Fable
August 7th, 2009 at 1:48 pm [Reply]

#167 & 176 queek & 168 sequitur – As a matter of fact, my gorgeous little girl just graduated from basic training with the Air Force last month, and from college last year. I wouldn’t take a thousand goats for her, not that she would allow herself to be bartered like that.
True Fable
August 7th, 2009 at 1:49 pm [Reply]

and, GOAT! Goat article!
Aviatrix
August 7th, 2009 at 1:49 pm [Reply]

@177 – I read a magazine article about a woman who had it so badly that she couldn’t recognize herself. If she was in a public restroom where there were other people using the mirror she would make funny faces so she could spot which image in the mirror was her. It made me feel a lot better (a) that I don’t have it that badly and (b) that there was some recognizable thing going on and it isn’t just that I’m rude and inconsiderate and don’t think of other people.
Will
August 7th, 2009 at 1:55 pm [Reply]

a3g: So how long has Lu Ann been in South Dakota? It seems like four or five years, and nothing of note has happened.
mordock999
August 7th, 2009 at 1:56 pm [Reply]

BC — 08/06/09

Hey, Clumsy, just be THANKFUL that the FAT BROAD wasn’t in a ROMANTIC Mood when she clubbed you.

Luann — 08/07/09

Luann, Bernice gives You BAD advice AND eats Your food. That Gal’s face is just BEGGING for a resounding SLAP…..,
______________________

DEATH to TJ!
Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
August 7th, 2009 at 2:04 pm [Reply]

190 –True Fable — Go, your little girl! This former zoomie officer applauds you and your family.
blackgoat
August 7th, 2009 at 2:08 pm [Reply]

I just keep wishing that Charley had been a Dixie Chicks enthusiast, rather than a Rogers and Hammerstein fan, and that the highly suggestible Delilah had pulled out a “Goodbye, Earl ” video, which would then lead to:

“Mary Worth and ‘Lilah were the best of friends
back in their Charterstone Days…

Let’s go down out to the lake, Lawrence ;
We’ll pack a lunch
and stuff you in the trunk…”

No sappy reunion at the lecture hall. It would be way more entertaining to see Mary and Delilah feed Lawrence poison black-eyed peas and then haul him off in a tarp.
True Fable
August 7th, 2009 at 2:16 pm [Reply]

#193 Will – Luann flew out November 4 2008, our time, and got to South Dakota November 14 2008. I hope they served at least dinner on that flight.

# 195 Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol – Oh man, it was wonderful! She was the only young lady in the entire training class to make the Honors list at grad. There were 66 big strapping fellows and then there was my little firecracker Kitten Fable collecting her achievement coin or whatever they called it. I don’t recall as I was so proud of her I couldn’t hear nor see straight. :D
And she did it all with a stress fracture in her hip. By God, that’s my girl!
Howabominable (aka Lindsey ^_^)
August 7th, 2009 at 2:18 pm [Reply]

I suffer from partial face-blindness (also known as Prosopagnosia). I’ve been this way since I was born. Most people with this disorder can’t recognize faces. They can recognize voices and other cues, but faces are like a blur they can’t see. Even if it’s someone they know for years, every time they meet they cannot recognize them.

I am able to recognize faces, but I can’t remember them. I have seen my father’s face almost every day since I was born, but I cannot picture it in my mind. I don’t know what I look like either, even after looking in the mirror every day of my life. If I ever had to pick someone out of a police line-up or describe an assailant to a sketch-artist I’d be screwed. It took me about 18 years to figure out that this was NOT normal, and that most people COULD see faces. It doesn’t really hinder my everyday life, but it does sort of suck.

I didn’t know you could “get” prosopagnosia from head injuries or PTSD or whatever the hell Wally is suffering from, though. Most people are just born with it.
commodorejohn
August 7th, 2009 at 2:21 pm [Reply]

#198 Howabominable (aka Lindsey ^_^) – Well, remember, whether or not it’s possible to acquire the condition in real life has absolutely zero relevance in the Funkerverse; it means more misery, therefore it must be possible.
Sebastian
August 7th, 2009 at 2:37 pm [Reply]

#199: That could get interesting.
“After I took that bit of shrapnel in the head, I came down with bubonic plague. And lycanthropy. Also, I have had the song ‘Total Eclipse of the Heart’ stuck in my head ever since that time I fell down the stairs when I was 19. Suffice it to say that I’m sitting on a powder keg, and giving off sparks. Say, is that a full moon…?”
Dr. Weird
August 7th, 2009 at 2:41 pm [Reply]

198 Howabominable (aka Lindsey ^_^) –

I was curious and a bit of Googling showed that the condition can develop from brain trauma as well.

This means that Wally was beaten by his captors enough to cause brain damage and survived it without any medical care, losing vital capacities as a result. This fits into Commodorejohn’s “more misery” theory.
True Fable
August 7th, 2009 at 2:41 pm [Reply]

#200 Sebastian – I prefer this literal version!
Jedzz
August 7th, 2009 at 2:41 pm [Reply]

MT: For all the times you thought to yourself, “You know, I could fart better dialogue than that,” Jack Elrod just said, “Yeah, well, so could I!”
Sequitur
August 7th, 2009 at 3:19 pm [Reply]

True Fable
Congrats to your daughter (and to you for raising her). I’m always proud of our young people who choose to defend our country.
Dingo
August 7th, 2009 at 3:52 pm [Reply]

Will, have you ever been to South Dakota? A place where the minutes pass like hours and conversations with relatives pass like kidney stones.
Gold-Digging Nanny
August 7th, 2009 at 3:59 pm [Reply]

Paging commodorejohn!

The good people at This Week in Milford are at a loss as to how to look at free archived Gil Thorp comics now that the Chicago Trib is using goComics for Thorp. I was wondering whether you could add GT to your viewer? I’m sure Jason would be eternally grateful.
Perky Bird
August 7th, 2009 at 4:02 pm [Reply]

After seeing part of Lawrence’s speech, it’s no wonder he and Delilah don’t have children. Crappy platitudes and homilies are known to be powerful spermacides.
Darkefang
August 7th, 2009 at 4:08 pm [Reply]

GT: What’s with all the running in today’s Gil Thorp? Did Gil misplace his car keys on half-price margarita night?
commodorejohn
August 7th, 2009 at 4:11 pm [Reply]

#206 Gold-Digging Nanny – Not a problem!
Sequitur
August 7th, 2009 at 4:45 pm [Reply]

Just what is this?
Baka Gaijin
August 7th, 2009 at 4:49 pm [Reply]

#210 Sequitur: That cat is tweaked on fine Colombian catnip.
Baka Gaijin
August 7th, 2009 at 4:55 pm [Reply]

Speaking of tweaked cats, Cybil. I don’t know what she’s on but I think Viking berserkers could have used it before they went on a pillagefest.
Sequitur
August 7th, 2009 at 5:01 pm [Reply]

211. Baka Gaijin
Okay. We both think this is a cat. But what is that cat doing while it’s tweaked on fine Columbian catnip? Is he holding a triangle? Stretching out a rubber band? Taking flying lessons?

Anyone! Inquiring minds could care less but still want to know.
Farley's Revenge
August 7th, 2009 at 5:05 pm [Reply]

TrueFable@190: I live in the SA area and if I had known you were going to be in the Alamo City, I would have tried to arrange a meet-up.

Could even have directed you to places where goats graze out in front of houses near the air base…if you were inclined to go look at them in your spare time.

Congrats to Kitten Fable!
commodorejohn
August 7th, 2009 at 5:07 pm [Reply]

#213 Sequitur – What I want to know is, who built a keyboard into a pyramid?
Baka Gaijin
August 7th, 2009 at 5:08 pm [Reply]

#213 Sequitur: He’s polevaulting over the edge of the piano using a triangle. It seems like such a good idea to the baked cat until he gets flung into the oscillating electric fan just off-frame after he lands crotch first into Herman’s face.
Farley's Revenge
August 7th, 2009 at 5:12 pm [Reply]

In comic related chatter, it appears that Gene in Arlo&Janis got lucky.

Y’know, that strip has the randiest characters on the comics’ page and it’s treated as no big deal, it’s just part of their days, unlike other strips *cough*9CL*cough* who make a big production out of the whole process, dragging things out for days and weeks until you want to stab the characters in the groin just to move the story along.
mollificent
August 7th, 2009 at 5:12 pm [Reply]

202 True Fable: Oh my God. You have forever polluted my brain. And there’s a karaoke version so you can do your own lead vocal…

You evil, evil bastard. :D
One-eyed Wolfdog
August 7th, 2009 at 5:23 pm [Reply]

That panel is absolutely hilarious, but you really have to be well-schooled in several of the large-scale Herman continuity arcs (and prepared to read between the lines) to appreciate the subtle way they intersect here.
Sequitur
August 7th, 2009 at 5:27 pm [Reply]

202 True Fable
The guy singing falsetto sure sounds like Conan O’Brien’s LaBamba (In the year 2000).
Gold-Digging Nanny
August 7th, 2009 at 5:32 pm [Reply]

Thank you, commodorejohn!
Aviatrix
August 7th, 2009 at 6:17 pm [Reply]

One-Eyed Wolfdog, you made that up, right? Herman has continuity arcs?

I went to the cartoon in question, so confident that I would be able to explain it, but I got nothing. The triangle isn’t a music stand, because he has sheet music propped in a different place. It makes no sense that it would be a rubber band, a … let’s just stop at “It makes no sense.”

I was even going to suggest that it was merely fine Colombian coffee that had got into the cat, but that’s not strong enough, either.
feraljane
August 7th, 2009 at 8:59 pm [Reply]

I simply thought the squirrel’s ass and the tree’s nuts were conversing – I mean, if Andy is the master detective in the Mark Trail universe, anything else seems believable.
McPerson
August 8th, 2009 at 11:44 am [Reply]

The sun seems to have expanded, beginning its long death a few billion years too early. I don’t think that tree will protect Trixie for long.
AT
August 8th, 2009 at 8:18 pm [Reply]

I suspect that Trixie is acutely aware of the Flagston’s money problems. Given that Hi was sweating how he would afford the family vacation that Lois pressured him into, Trixie probably realizes that they will soon not be able to afford health insurance and is thus actively trying to avoid the melanoma that is certain to come with spending too much time with Sunbeam.

That’s actually pretty adept for an infant, given that the rest of the kids have the combined IQ of a bag of hammers.

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Walker-Browne Amalgamated Humor Industries LLC shines a light

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