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So it’s come to this

FoxTrot, 8/10/05

Since I’m waiting on the outcome of the non-hilarious Liz-get-sexually-assaulted storyline over at FBOFW to say anything about it, the lack of fertile material for my parasitic wit in today’s comics is pretty dire. The best I can do is this: Look, Andy’s reading Thyme magazine! Get it, it’s like Time, only … it’s … a pun … you see …

Wow, I had even less to say about that than I thought I did.

By the way, Jason, I don’t think the ancient Greeks had a word for beer per se, but “root mead” (the closest equivalent?) would be rhiza apomeli. Six and a half years of a classical education: not wasted. No, sir.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, August 10, 2005 at 10:17 pm and is filed under FoxTrot. |

90 responses to “So it’s come to this”

  1. Chris
    August 10th, 2005 at 10:38 pm [Reply]

    First!

  2. Chris
    August 10th, 2005 at 10:43 pm [Reply]

    And apparently, no one cares since 25 minutes have elapsed. Well, look, I don’t mind you putting on Fox Trot, as long as don’t hate it as much as the others. I still love it. That is all.

  3. Irina
    August 10th, 2005 at 11:07 pm [Reply]

    Here’s yer kewpie doll, Chris.

    Enjoy.

  4. Dingo
    August 10th, 2005 at 11:21 pm [Reply]

    They’re playing songs of love but not for mead.

  5. Dingo
    August 10th, 2005 at 11:30 pm [Reply]

    Okay, I realize that you’re waiting to comment on FBoFW but look at panel #5 of today’s strip (08/10/05). Notice how Lynn has placed Liz’s left hand on the countertop for balance but… based on positioning, it looks like she’s fondling Howard’s uncircumsized penis!

    http://www.fborfw.com/strip_fix/

    Prime the pump, Liz. Get you some roadside!

  6. Ian
    August 10th, 2005 at 11:51 pm [Reply]

    I’m not too familiar with FBoFW’s artistic style, but I think you could make the argument that that’s a circumsized penis too.

  7. Ford Dent
    August 11th, 2005 at 12:29 am [Reply]

    I would just like to say this about the FBOFW:

    I totally called that like, two weeks ago.

  8. Mibbitmaker
    August 11th, 2005 at 12:52 am [Reply]

    Josh Bides His Time Until The Serial/Formerly Funny Strips Get To The Furshlugginer POINT, ALREADY, So You Don’t Have To.

  9. Mibbitmaker
    August 11th, 2005 at 1:10 am [Reply]

    8/11…

    FBOFW: Wel’p, we got another w.s.a.a.m. (wild studio audience applause moment) here. I guess Liz’s beatings only work when it’s wasted on a 2-timing dweeb. And, Mr. Stalker, please STOP with the wiley masochist crap, will ya? It’s getting as old as Putting Away The Late Show Bear (p.a.t.L.S.b.).

    Now, in typical Funky W. fashion, WHO THE HECK CAME TO THE RESCUE, WILLYA???

    FW (speak of the devil): “Uh oh” What “uh-oh”? Batiuk, you manipulative bastard…!

    Monty: Hey, Mont’, you *want* to lok like Tom Cruise? Have you been a hermit these last few months? The man probably thinks he and Katie make a lovely couple… and wonders who that 3rd woman is with the lovely couple……

  10. Mibbitmaker
    August 11th, 2005 at 1:12 am [Reply]

    btw, my stuff in #9 (#9 #9 #9 #9….) might read best Lewis Black style.

  11. Mibbitmaker
    August 11th, 2005 at 1:14 am [Reply]

    …and with “look” instead of “lok”.

    (okay, I’ll go now…..)

  12. Dingo
    August 11th, 2005 at 1:34 am [Reply]

    Ah… I’ve had a look at the 8/11 strip already for FBoFW and it looks to me like Anthony’s elbow around Howard’s fleshy jawline. Notice the intrinsic artistry in today’s final panel. The squiggly pileus-like clouds that go from the unseen defender’s words are of the same pattern following Howard’s “Erk!” His tongue, eyes, AND eyebrows all pop from his head as though he’s just witnessed Ashlee Simpson sing without a backing track.

    I’m just trying to figure out, based on the emptiness of frame #1, where Anthony could have been standing. Perhaps, like Howard, he’s also a stalker and was behind a potted fern.

  13. Ben-San Arizona
    August 11th, 2005 at 1:51 am [Reply]

    Beer brewing goes back to at least the Sumerians. If there was no ancient Greek word for beer I would be very surprised.

  14. Mibbitmaker
    August 11th, 2005 at 1:53 am [Reply]

    (so I didn’t go yet…)

    Anthony comes in (off-panel), sees what we see and rushes up to stalker boy in the final panel.

    Then Terese shows up and learns about what happened…

    TERESE: “So, you HAD to save Liz’s life and limb from her disgusting potential rapist, instead of standing there letting it happen! That’s it! We’re through! I want a divorce!!”

  15. Some Guy Here
    August 11th, 2005 at 2:14 am [Reply]

    Not to mention Jason not knowing what “hydrate” means. C’mon, he’s freakin’ Jason!

  16. Some Guy Here
    August 11th, 2005 at 2:16 am [Reply]

    Oh, not to mention, if you do find yourself in a situation with a dearth of material again, I suggest looking up Close to Home or Brevity at comics.com, or even returning to the old “classic” Herman. They never fail to have wtf-worthy material.

  17. Mumblix Grumph
    August 11th, 2005 at 2:45 am [Reply]

    Possible Liz savers:
    (I don’t know all their names)

    1. the gay guy.

    2. The ex-boyfriend/married wimp.

    3. Gord.

    4. The helicopter pilot.

    5. Weed.

    6. Dad.

    7. The ghost of the late Roy Cohn.

    8. That guy from that show, you know the guy that does that thing? No, not THAT guy…the OTHER guy.

    9. Asparagus.

  18. Jeff
    August 11th, 2005 at 4:45 am [Reply]

    I think Lynn Johnston may have single-handedly ignited a whole new generation of FBOFW slash fiction on the Web!

    If it does turn out to be Lawrence who saves the day, you’ve got to wonder if Harold is going to be turned-on enough by that choke hold to want to stalk him, too.

  19. Cloister
    August 11th, 2005 at 4:49 am [Reply]

    LSJ (the main dictionary of Ancient Greek) offers two primary options for “beer”: brytos (found in Soph., Aesch., Archil., and others, apparently referring to a product of Thrace and Asia Minor) and zythos (found in later authors, e.g. Theophrastus and Strabo, to refer to Egyptian beer). But it is true that when Herodotus is describing Egyptian beer, he calls it “oinos ek kritheo:n pepoie:menos”, “wine made from barley” (2.77). So it presumably wasn’t familiar to a 5C BC Greek audience.

  20. spiderbaby
    August 11th, 2005 at 5:07 am [Reply]

    Regarding today’s (death to?) Gil Thorpe – “Humming-bird rump”? Rump? No one says that. Old ladies barely say that, much less teenaged boys.

  21. Zorba the Geek
    August 11th, 2005 at 5:54 am [Reply]

    Cloister is right about the words for “beer.” In fact, the (formal) word for beer in modern Greek is still “zythos” (or, more informally, and derivatively, “byra”). I don’t think the ancients would have called it “root mead,” Josh, but a good guess. In modern Greek, it’s “poton apo rhizas phyton.” Roughly (or not so roughly) translated, that’s “drink made out of plants roots.” (Well, that’s pretty boring, but, what can I say?) Newbie Greeks in this country would probably call it (rolling their “r’s”) “roota byra.” (That would be what we call “Greeklish.”)

  22. Frank Drackman
    August 11th, 2005 at 7:30 am [Reply]

    In thursdays Family Circus Daddy looks like hes leaning over while taking a dump.

  23. Josh
    August 11th, 2005 at 7:34 am [Reply]

    Hey Cloister-

    I have the mid-sized LSJ (were we the only ones dorky enough to call the various sizes of the standard Greek dictionary the “little Liddell,” the “middle Liddell,” and the “big Liddell”?) and there’s no sign of either of those beer words in it. I guess that classical education was wasted after all. Sigh.

    jf

  24. yellojkt
    August 11th, 2005 at 7:50 am [Reply]

    According to the Babelfish root beer is μπύρα ρίζας. Let’s hope the characters translate when I post. (Cause of course it looks fine in preview.)

  25. Dennis Jimenez
    August 11th, 2005 at 7:53 am [Reply]

    Δεν βρέθηκαν λέξεις

  26. Josh
    August 11th, 2005 at 7:55 am [Reply]

    That’s modern Greek, tho, yellojkt. When you’re talking word etymologies like Andy and Jason are, you want ancient Greek. Ancient Greek is to modern Greek as, say, Beowulf is to this blog.

    jf

  27. marykat
    August 11th, 2005 at 7:58 am [Reply]

    Spiderbaby (#20)…it seems clear to me that the folks over there in Mil ford are taking Lynn’s “slang for dummies” course. Perhaps if we were to improve our classical education in the same manner, we might be able to determine what the horrible yet misspelled word threatening their resident Mrs. Robinson actually is!

  28. no tea
    August 11th, 2005 at 8:03 am [Reply]

    Funky Winkerbean: The suspense continues!

  29. anon
    August 11th, 2005 at 8:03 am [Reply]

    “Rump” is a proper term used when describing a bird’s feather coloration, according to serious birdwatchers. Grow up. And birdwatching is not just “old ladies”.

    I think the Purple Arm of Mystery rescuing Our Liz belongs to….Dad? wouldn’t that be a hoot.

  30. Barry Kaufman
    August 11th, 2005 at 8:05 am [Reply]

    I have found my new favorite insult of all time: “Alligator mouth, hummingbird rump.”

    What in the bright blue hell does that mean, anyway?

  31. Toddb
    August 11th, 2005 at 8:55 am [Reply]

    Seriously though, is it just me or does it kind of look like Howard just got his neck snapped by the incognito hero. Which is fine by me really but, a little violent for those canucks, eh?

    And speaking of Canada, do they really have such things as sexual assault and murder up there? If so, I’ve been lied to!

  32. Chet McCord, Wildlife Defender
    August 11th, 2005 at 8:56 am [Reply]

    Meanwhile, Funky goes in for a liver biopsy. Check back tomorrow.

  33. tara
    August 11th, 2005 at 9:08 am [Reply]

    I did a google search on “FBOFW stalking” and got this page. I’m shocked and impressed.

  34. Zorba the Geek
    August 11th, 2005 at 9:14 am [Reply]

    yello, Babelfish is just translating “root beer” word for word, as it often does; “μπύρα ρίζας” (byra rhyzas) is “beer root,” or “root beer.” My “Divry’s Modern English-Greek and Greek-English Dictionary” uses “poton apo rhizas phyton.” Of course, Josh is right, this is all modern Greek, not classical. Many words are the same, but a lot are not. (Which word didn’t you find, Dennis?)

  35. Josh
    August 11th, 2005 at 9:18 am [Reply]

    Zorba, I knew a beta is now a “v” sound in modern Greek, but is “mp” really how the “b” sound is transcribed? That is some crazy-ass stuff.

    jf

  36. yellojkt
    August 11th, 2005 at 9:23 am [Reply]

    Fun with Google(r):

    “alligator mouth” “hummingbird ass” – 632 hits including at least one rap song
    “alligator mouth” “hummingbird butt” – 170 hits
    “alligator mouth” “hummingbird rear end” – 42 hits
    “alligator mouth” “hummingbird rump” – 0 hits

    Let’s up that score folks.

    From the contexts where it’s used, ther phrase seems to mean someone is all talk. Equivalent to “all bark, no bite” or “all hat, no cattle”

  37. Mibbitmaker
    August 11th, 2005 at 9:33 am [Reply]

    Funky Winkerbean, the suspence NEVER ENDS! In an alternative universe, Les and Lisa *still* haven’t found each other. Damn you, summer of ‘94!

    Meanwhile, back at FBOFW, it’ll turn out to be… Eric!

    LIZ: “Eric??Why!?”
    ERIC: “Liz, I’ve done some pretty rotten things in the past, like two-timing you gals. I really wanted to make it up to you. See, I’m righting all the wrongs I’ve done in my life. BTW, I’m not Eric anymore… my name is Earl.”

    Announcer: “My name is Earl, coming to FBOFW this fall.”

  38. RBF
    August 11th, 2005 at 9:37 am [Reply]

    What’s the Greek translation of Bombay Sapphire?

    - Troublemaker

  39. Jon the Myrmadon
    August 11th, 2005 at 9:38 am [Reply]

    Although the word hydros is greek, the english word ‘dehydrated’ comes to us through latin, from dehydratus. According to Lewis and Short,there are two latin words for Beer, the refs. are as follows: camum , i, n., – a kind of beer, Dig. 33, 7, 12; Edict. Diocl. p. 28. and Fermentum, i, n. – A drink made of fermented barley, malt liquor, beer, Verg. G. 3, 380. The word for root, of which there are many, which I think would best fit here would be rhÄ«zÄ­as , ae, m.,- juice extracted from a root (opp. caulias), Plin. 19, 3, 15, § 43., related to the modern greek word mentioned by everyone else. Thus, the proper word for being low on root beer using all these roots would be ‘derhiziafrumentatus’ or in english ‘derhiziafrumented’. Used in a sentence, “Gee Ma, I’m feeling a bit derhiziafrumented.” This makes the five years and massive amounts of cash spent on a classics MA worth it. (Definitions come from the Perseus website: http://www.perseus.tufts.edu/)

  40. Maughta
    August 11th, 2005 at 9:38 am [Reply]

    Damn, and me only knowing Koine Greek. Blast this religion degree, I knew it’d never come in handy!

  41. Mibbitmaker
    August 11th, 2005 at 9:39 am [Reply]

    I think I’ve narrowed down the proper way of saying “beer” to either: potrzebie, axolotl, osszefogva, “Serutan” spelled backwards, or relief, spelled r-o-l-a-i-d-s (though it has a last name, it’s m-a-y-e-r).

    I’m just glad my classical Mad magazine education hasn’t gone to waste.

  42. Bill Peschel
    August 11th, 2005 at 9:46 am [Reply]

    Mibbitmaker, that’s a nominee for COTW in my book.

    Of course, my book is “Great Canadian Cartoonists.”

  43. Zorba the Geek
    August 11th, 2005 at 9:56 am [Reply]

    Josh, unfortunately, yes, they use “mp” because there is no “b” sound in Greek. I suppose it’s the closest they could come up with, given the Greek alphabet.

  44. Ken
    August 11th, 2005 at 10:43 am [Reply]

    It is the helicopter pilot who is saving Liz, he piloted his helicopter there. Then Lawrence is going to take him in the back for a taste of his own medicine.

  45. Ken
    August 11th, 2005 at 10:46 am [Reply]

    If Wally Winkerbean gets blown up then then world will never know he is the baby Lisa gave up for adoption in high school. I’m thinking he’ll lose a limb as karmic payback for what he did to his wife, Lefty on prom night.

  46. Jeff R.
    August 11th, 2005 at 11:10 am [Reply]

    So, just how bad is business in that shop that Howard thinks that inside it, in the middle of the day, with the doors open, is a good place go commit an ‘A’ felony, anyhow? [Or, in his own delusional world, get it on with a 'feisty' girl who really wants it, even...]

    I mean, the last time one of the Foob girls was endangered by a creepy guy, they at least had him chase her into an unfamiliar and lightly-inhabited neighborhood.

    (I say that the rescuer has to be whoever it was that drove the car that hit that fat bully involved in that exciting 2-week bicycle chase. He’s their guardian angel…)

  47. e
    August 11th, 2005 at 11:19 am [Reply]

    I hate this storyline so VERY MUCH. Unless it’s a woman rescuing Liz (very doubtful), I’m ’bout to give up on this strip and it’s wanna-be (but almost anti-) feminist ways.

    Puhleeze, Josh, comment on it already!

  48. Sheila
    August 11th, 2005 at 11:27 am [Reply]

    Liz is in a dandy position to knee her assailant in the nuts, in one of the middle frames, but alas, she’s apparently too saintly to do it.

    My money’s on Anthony as the rescuer. The poor foob has been feeling so ineffectual lately, this’ll make him feel manly enough again to stand up to Therese.

  49. spiderbaby
    August 11th, 2005 at 11:30 am [Reply]

    My local paper runs FBOFW right over top of Curtis. The Liz-assault was that more bizarre when juxtaposed with Curtis’s desperate attempts to escape Chutney’s embrace.

    “No means no and it isn’t funny! Except when it is!”

  50. gnome de blog
    August 11th, 2005 at 11:32 am [Reply]

    Wally W. is not the baby that Lisa gave up, according to the FW characters link over at kingfeatures.com. Lisa’s son is one of the current students at Westview High. I think he was the one adopted by Mr. Fairgood, the principal. I can’t check it out because I can’t access kingfeatures.com from work. It’s blocked by my network.

    And I must ask, as so many others have, why, oh why, TF do I know this stuff??

  51. gnome de blog
    August 11th, 2005 at 11:41 am [Reply]

    I think Pop Patterson is Liz’ rescuer. It was foreshadowed by his comment on Monday that he, too, can be dangerous.

  52. Nom du Jour
    August 11th, 2005 at 11:42 am [Reply]

    The student at Westview, Lisa’s Love Child (LLC™), pops up every year around his “adoption day” with his adoptive parents taking him out to dinner.

    That arc drips of irony because Lisa gets depressed that time of year, so Les takes her out to dinner to the same restaurant as LLC™.

    Will they ever meet up and figure it out?

    Oh the irony.

  53. Chris Opperman
    August 11th, 2005 at 11:59 am [Reply]

    I guess my feeling about that comic is that Jeff, the uber-geek, would already know all that. So maybe his older brother would have been a better target for the gag?

  54. Ken
    August 11th, 2005 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

    Oh yeah that’s Darin who works at Montoni’s. Are they ever going to revive the dropped Komix Korner trial storyline?

  55. Smitty Smedlap
    August 11th, 2005 at 12:22 pm [Reply]

    Words you never expected to be strung together in this order:

    “Alligator mouth, hummingbird rump.”

    See today’s Gil Thorp for details:

    http://www.comicspage.com/comicspage/main.jsp?catid=1153&custid=69&file=20050811csgtp-a-p.jpg&code=csgtp&dir=/gilthorp

  56. Dennis Jimenez
    August 11th, 2005 at 12:33 pm [Reply]

    FBOFW – Could a Lifetime network docu-drama be in the offing? Or at least an after school special….

  57. Tom
    August 11th, 2005 at 1:05 pm [Reply]

    Suppose the savior is Pops Patterson, and he does snap Howard’s neck. Then there could be a week’s worth of gags about what to do with the body. “We could eat it.” “No, I promised your mother I’d never do that again.” “Therese could drain all the blood from the body, then we could bury it under the train tracks in the back yard.” “I always wanted to add a dead man’s curve there.” “We could always just dump it by the roadside.” “You watch your language, young lady!”

    Or maybe the story line will conclude with several unfunny, earnest strips that teach us all that sexual assault is an unfunny and earnest matter.

  58. Nom du Jour
    August 11th, 2005 at 1:13 pm [Reply]

    Howard Errk.

    Canada’s Most Wanted.

  59. Zorba the Geek
    August 11th, 2005 at 1:19 pm [Reply]

    RBF (#38), it’s Σάπφειρος της Βομβάη (transliterated as “Samfeiros tis Vomvae,” or, Sapphire of Bombay). But for the truly Greek experience, you should be drinking Ouzo or Metaxa.

  60. Big Ben
    August 11th, 2005 at 1:39 pm [Reply]

    Yikes, what an interesting spread of comments, but most of it sounds like Greek to me. (Har Har.)

    FBOFW: I would put my money on Pops Patterson, given that Liz has already warned him of Howard-the-Sexual-Assaulter, and so he’s probably stalking the stalker to keep Liz safe.

  61. Anyonomous Perv
    August 11th, 2005 at 2:04 pm [Reply]

    OK, is it just me, or is anyone else totally turned-on by what’s going on in FBOFW?

  62. Comic Critic Steve
    August 11th, 2005 at 2:05 pm [Reply]

    No question. The rescuer is Dad P. Look at his dark, short sleeve shirt, and compare with Monday and Tuesday’s strip.

    Next question. Will we see the criminal sentencing? Considering this is Canada – especially Ontario – I expect leniency. Maybe probation.

  63. Nom du Jour
    August 11th, 2005 at 2:21 pm [Reply]

    Howard Erk will get probation but he will be fired from his job. He will wind bagging groceries in the same Supermarket as Kortney. It will love at first sight.

    Then they will move in to the apartment above the Kelpfroths (after Mike and Co.™ move into Mom and Pop’s house when they decide to move to a condo)and it will be a basis for a spin off series for Lynn’s ghost writers and artists. Call it half-way house funnies.

  64. Comic Critic Steve
    August 11th, 2005 at 2:25 pm [Reply]

    If they are going to spin off a series, they better do it soon. LJ says she will stop FBOFW and retire in 2007.

  65. DCBirdblaster
    August 11th, 2005 at 2:36 pm [Reply]

    The ongoing debate on how to translate Root Beer into Greek or Latin or whatever needs some enlightenment.

    Root beer has its origins in what is referred to as “small beers.” Small beers are a collection of local beverages (some alcoholic, some not) made during colonial times in America from a variety of herbs, barks, and roots that included: birch beer, sarsaparilla beer, ginger beer and root beer. Ingredients in early root beers included allspice, birch bark, coriander, juniper, ginger, wintergreen, hops, sarsaparilla, sassafras root, vanilla beans, licorice and various other herb. Many of these ingredients are still used in root beer today along with carbonation. There is no one recipe.

    The sarsaparilla beer recipe inspired the first commercially sold root beer in 1876 by Charles Hires, and sarsparilla is the one of the more prominent ingredients of the #1 selling root beer today, A&W Root Beer.

    Since it was not invented till colonial american times, you can use Modern Greek, not ancient, and translate it as sarsaparilla beer. Then you might have a more accurate definition.

    Another interesting note is that only Americans seem to like root beer. Most other people say it tastes like medicine.

  66. Joe D.
    August 11th, 2005 at 2:44 pm [Reply]

    In Family Circus the “castle” and “garage” that Dolly made for Prince “Charming” today look like crap. If I were Bil — the character, not the “artist” — I would kick them down and explain to Dolly why her eyes are so far apart. “Mommy has always had a soft spot for the hard stuff.”

  67. Anne Nonymous
    August 11th, 2005 at 2:48 pm [Reply]

    The only way I like root beer is with lots of vanilla ice cream in it. BTW, for those of you not bothering to check the previous threads, you owe it to yourselves to look at #54 in the FC thread below. It’s the I-Girl’s summation of what she has learned from the comics this summer, and it is screamingly funny. Way to go, I-Girl!

  68. Zorba the Geek
    August 11th, 2005 at 3:21 pm [Reply]

    Birdblaster, I’ll go with George Divry’s modern Greek translation of “root beer” (comment #34 above). He’s sort of the “gold standard” for English-Greek/Greek-English dictionaries. The awkwardness of the phrase would seem to back up your point that other people don’t like root beer very much- if the Greeks liked it, they’d probably have a shorter word/phrase for it. I don’t see them bellying up to the soda fountain and saying “Gimme one of those drinks made out of plant’s roots,” anyway.

  69. gnome de blog
    August 11th, 2005 at 3:56 pm [Reply]

    In addition to I-Girl’s fascinating (and indeed screamingly funny) summary of our summer comix reading that Anne referenced, I am grateful to DCBirdBlaster above for the brief history of root beer. That alone was worth a summer of stalkers, klepforths and insipid jungle adventures.

    More Greek translations, Mule!

  70. Charlie
    August 11th, 2005 at 4:36 pm [Reply]

    Remember, Tom, Mr. P is a dentist. Three words: Is it safe?

  71. yellojkt
    August 11th, 2005 at 4:38 pm [Reply]

    Smitty (comment 55),

    spiderbaby (comment 20) and Barry (comment 30) are both equally awed by “alligator mouth, hummingbird rump”. In comment 36, I noticed that this phrase has hitherto never been used on the internets.

    As such, I propose a grassroots campaign to make “alligator mouth, hummingbird rump” a common internet put-down. Use it as frequently as possible.

    Click on my alias link to get more details about how you can help with this effort.

    Thank you for your support,

  72. Lor
    August 11th, 2005 at 4:57 pm [Reply]

    So, in re #69, what’s the Greek for “WTF??”

  73. Lor
    August 11th, 2005 at 5:01 pm [Reply]

    Anyone else see FBOFW in color? I was wondering why Howard’s tongue was the same blinding red as his hair. Is that blood, or did he just eat a cherry Popsicle®?

  74. Chris Opperman
    August 11th, 2005 at 5:05 pm [Reply]

    This website is so hilarious. I found it by searching for “for better or for worse stalking” as well. I was hoping Lynn would continue it in the retirement home. We could have strips about how the kids don’t call her because they’re out doing X in the streets of Ontario. I wish someone would do a gangta rap FBOFW, yo.

  75. Zorba the Geek
    August 11th, 2005 at 5:27 pm [Reply]

    Lor- somehow, we didn’t learn the Greek for “WTF” either in Greek school or at home.

  76. JK
    August 11th, 2005 at 6:25 pm [Reply]

    Wow! And all this time I was wondering how Liz moved from in front of her attacker to behind him. I guess I need to be more observant.

    Anyway, now that I have looked at it, while Anthony is a good choice (since John and Elly have always liked him as a possible marriage partner for Liz), I do think that bicep is a little big for Anthony. He doesn’t strike me as the type to work out. My vote is for John or Lawrence. Helicopter boyfriend would be interesting but that would definitely be out of the blue.

  77. Ford Dent
    August 11th, 2005 at 6:51 pm [Reply]

    I’m pulling for Papa Patterson.

    Some old-school dentist justice needs to be dished out.

  78. Maughta
    August 11th, 2005 at 7:58 pm [Reply]

    What, no-one thinks it might be a new flame? Perhaps a nobel-prize winner home from saving the lepers? Someone with “sexy eyes” ala Deanna?

    p.s. I’m so happy to find this site, and people who care as much about comics (too much?) as I do! I thought I was alone in the world…

  79. Islamorada Girl
    August 11th, 2005 at 8:22 pm [Reply]

    Lovey! Lovey Saltzman is gonna put old old weird Howard’s lights for good!

  80. JK
    August 11th, 2005 at 8:51 pm [Reply]

    Maybe it’s Mike. They seem to be getting along so much better these days.

  81. PizzaBagel
    August 11th, 2005 at 9:58 pm [Reply]

    Re today’s Family Circus:

    Frank Drackman (comment #22) sez that it looks like Papa Bil is “leaning over while taking a dump.”

    Joe D. (#66) remarks that “the ‘castle’ and ‘garage’ that Dolly made for Prince ‘Charming’ today look like crap.” Yeah, they do both look pretty primitive – really just sand volcanoes.

    Methinks that Daddy is smiling cuz he’s gonna use the kid’s larger sand edifice as his next “throne,” if you catch my drift.

  82. Cloister
    August 12th, 2005 at 7:44 am [Reply]

    Josh -

    No, y’all weren’t the only ones dorky enough to refer to the Little Liddell and Middle Liddell as such – but we, even more dorkily, referred to the big guy as the Great Scott. As someone else pointed out above, it’s available with great search tools on the Perseus site now.

    As for “b” being written “μπ” in Modern Greek, this is actually paralleled in all three voiced stops – so “d” is now “ντ” and “g” is “γκ” (because delta’s now a voiced th, and gamma’s the voiced equivalent of German ch). So when you see Whoopie Goldberg’s name in Modern Greek, it’s elegantly spelled Γούπι Γκόλντμπεργκ.

    Finally, my best guess for the Ancient Greek for “WTF?” is “τι ληρεις;” (as in e.g. Aristophanes Clouds 829), roughly “What’s this you’re babbling?” But if someone goes through enough Aristophanes, they’re likely to find something more fittingly obscene.

  83. anon
    August 12th, 2005 at 7:45 am [Reply]

    And the winner is…….ANTHONY!!!!! MY HERO!!!!!!

  84. Smitty Smedlap
    August 12th, 2005 at 7:51 am [Reply]

    Yellojkt — I’m in. For the next week, “alligator mouth, hummingbird rump” will be the subtitle of my blog.

  85. yellojkt
    August 12th, 2005 at 2:42 pm [Reply]

    Looks great. I’m gonna add you to my blog list next chance I get.

  86. Erik11111
    August 12th, 2005 at 8:55 pm [Reply]

    FBOFW has always struck me as a faintly sadistic, mean-spirited strip–as mean to readers as to its characters. It seems as though everyone outside the immediate family and established friends are shown as venal, self-centered, potentially or actually violent, and/or hateful. The strip projects this worldview that people are just fundamentally toxic, and that the Pattersons live in a constant state of siege against the barbarians at their gates.

    This impression is literally confirmed in the cover of an old FBOFW collection, the one with the artist’s face filling the Pattersons’ living room, the whole family looking scared s#@tless at this giant stranger poking her face into their world.

    Then there’s the old dead-dog plotline; the random bloody beating of the landlady (I loved opening the comics page in the morning to an old lady face-down in a pool of her own blood), April’s wholly unredeeming character for most of her life in the strip (in any other strip she’d be the awful self-centered neighbor’s kid, not one of the heroines), and this latest plotline with Liz getting stalked and sexually attacked (another great bit to see first thing in the morning). For all the care lavished on the “growing-up” and aging of the whole family, there’s no more ambiguity in the Pattersons’ world than in Middle-Earth–and the bad people are as obvious from their appearance as Peter Jackson’s Orcs.
    Sorry, everyone. Clearly I’ve thought far too much about this, and maybe I’ve just tuned into FBOFW at the wrong times, but I never saw a whole forum devoted to it, and when I started writing I realized how tired I was of feeling compelled to read FBOFW with its addictive plotlines, then getting sucked into its inexorable victimization of its protagonists. Now, reading other postings, I find the strip’s coming to an end, which I suppose means we’ll be treated to as nasty and stomach-churning an Anthony-Terese divorce as has ever made it into the funny pages. Whee! It’s enough to make a person nostalgic for Felix the Cat.

  87. Anyonomous Perv
    August 13th, 2005 at 3:41 pm [Reply]

    You know, as comics characters go, Michael and his wife are kind of hot. I’d love to see how their little family got started, if you catch my drift (hey – we’ve all suffered through the Patterson’s pregnancies, why shouldn’t we enjoy the conceptions?).

    So why is it that the closest the strip ever comes to a little less talk and a lot more action it’s with a fat, balding, sociopath forcing himself on an unwilling Elizabeth who is fully clothed?

    Note to Lynn Johnston – he knows where she lives! Why not give us a few panels of him peeping into her bathroom window?

  88. Holden
    August 28th, 2005 at 4:32 pm [Reply]

    Oy, other than the greek trantslaters, everybody’s going off the subject!

    Why Amend??? Why must you make a lame punchline??? WHY????????

  89. HHolden
    August 28th, 2005 at 4:52 pm [Reply]

    Woah, I think Jason is smart enough to know what the heck Dehydrated means.

  90. buffy
    April 6th, 2007 at 5:36 pm [Reply]

    whats does Δεν βρέθηκαν λέξεις mean in english? xx

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