Turns out it gets worse
Mary Worth, 8/28/09
Is there anything worse than hearing Tobey natter on in barely coded terms about all the new sex positions she and Ian tried out in various dank castles across Scotland? Turns out there is, and it’s watching Dr. Jeff’s socially inept daughter make out with her ethics-challenged cop boyfriend, right there on the park bench where children can see it.
Momma, 8/28/09
Is there anything worse than Momma’s unsettlingly close relationship with her youngest son? Turns out there is, and it’s hearing her go on and on and on about how all these girls on the beaches today, showing so much skin, they’re just whores whores whores whores.
Family Circus, 8/28/09
Is there anything worse than seeing Jeffy’s pale, naked, fleshy thighs? Turns out there isn’t, so please, please, Mommy Keane, I don’t know what the insane nonsense coming out of Jeffy’s mouth is supposed to mean, but just make soothing noises that will get him to put his pants back on, OK?
Hagar the Horrible, 8/28/09
Looks like another harsh winter in Scandinavia has our favorite band of Viking raiders on the edge of starvation! Good times.
WHAT? AGAIN?: Hey, everyone, we’re going off on a weekend getaway, this weekend, so you may have to wait until Monday for your weekend comics. Then again, it’s supposed to rain, so you may get glum rainy-day vacation blogging. ONLY TIME WILL TELL! Tell then, why not play some Mark Trail Bingo, as developed by faithful reader Aviatrix? Faithful readers spacemika and bats :[ even made boards!
Kinghasnoclothes
August 28th, 2009 at 10:09 am
Blah blah blah–SCORE!
Kinghasnoclothes
August 28th, 2009 at 10:10 am
Front row!
See I could write Gil Thorpe.
Metz77
August 28th, 2009 at 10:13 am
Momma seems to be turning into Frank Miller.
Kinghasnoclothes
August 28th, 2009 at 10:13 am
I think we’re going to be seeing Jeffy’s naked thighs again on the cover of Enquirer, when they do their “comic strip celebrity cellulite on the beach” photo spread.
A couple of too many lines in that drawing.
Dan
August 28th, 2009 at 10:13 am
Oh, given the context, I think Billy’s smile is worse.
AeroSquid
August 28th, 2009 at 10:17 am
BB: Lt Fuzz looks like he about ready to go full ‘Monkey OOOK-OOOK’ on the General’s desk.
Blondie: Dagwood was distracted into silence over the assorted sex aides on display.
Curtis: “And here’s a card for Barry from Obama’s kids. Remember that day Curtis ? The day you dragged your little brother away from us ? We thought he was dead. We considered sending you away. Then we thought: Nah, there is nothing Curtis could do to top that. Oh, look ! It’s a card from the phone company asking us if want to go on the ‘Budget Plan’ ”
FC: For TWO days we have had to endure the sight of Jeffy’s Thalidomide defects.
FW: Geez, Les. I think your daughter knows by now how to fend off Bull’s ham-handed advances.
H&L: I think we got a preview of a prelude to Lois’ ‘O’ face. Ewww.
JP: “No, wait. I think it’s just a crack dealer yelling ‘CRACK ! CRACK FOR SALE’.”
MT: This has become an ABC after school special about peer pressure. Why do I keep thinking about Derrick and ‘Onion’,
MW: Meanwhile, two anthropomorphic coital proxy units are simulating kissing.
MyCage: Just grab her and kiss her, Norm. geez.
Muffaroo
August 28th, 2009 at 10:31 am
C2Home – I’ll never again have to wonder what a Grandma Moses gag-a-day panel might look like.
Dick – I see threats, but no real evidence somebody wants Ringo dead. Maybe they’re just trying to put a damper on his infectiously sunny disposition.
Gil – Every panel is just bursting with innuendo-ey goodness today.
Friendly Vikings and Bunnies – Ha ha. Vikings live from paycheck to paycheck.
Mark – Uh oh! Bob’s gone to the wrong side of the tracks and met up with the bad boys. Next thing you know, it’s sideburns, log chains, caffeinated soda, and somebody else’s feral pet!
Marm – “Sorry, Marmaduke, but you can’t steal any more pizza from me. Hey, lucky you brought your own lunch, eh?”
Marfield – Looking for parents more in tune with his interests? I guess that’s why he’s looking in the personals of a “German swingers” paper. (“Kein Weirdos, bitte!”)
Pluggers – Aw, that’s so cute. He’s pushing a load of “plugger’s trust fund” so his next of kin can fill in the “plugger’s retirement home” they dug in the back yard for when his cholesterol-filled heart finally quits “plugging.”
R=R – I guess lightning bugs seem bright to a dimbulb.
AeroSquid @119 – “The Dating Game” used “Whipped Cream,” also a Herb Alpert recording. YouTube had some amusing clips from when Andy Kaufman went on in his confused immigrant persona and failed to understand any of the questions.
Sequitur @180 – Talking water tower? Much as I hate to second-guess a work of genius, I’d say put it in place of Andy’s talking hind leg, since he’s already a talking animal in the first column. Or replace the first talking Andy with it, whatever.
Steve S
August 28th, 2009 at 10:32 am
Reading Mary’s comment in panel 1 as completely sarcastic actually fits her facial expression (and personality, for that matter) better. Fortunately, it looks like she’ll get the chance to rescue those two poor souls whose faces are stuck together.
Old Goat
August 28th, 2009 at 10:36 am
FC: Is Jeffy going commando? Sure, it saves diapers, but leaves a real mess on that pink carpet.
Perky Bird
August 28th, 2009 at 10:42 am
Poor Momma. All she really wanted was for her son to say, “There’s no need to be jealous of that girl, Momma. She could never be as pretty as you!”
Dragon of Life
August 28th, 2009 at 10:42 am
I thought that, as mentioned, Jeffy’s awful legs were the worst nightmare I could imagine. But then I looked again. Look at Billy’s smile, people. Look at Billy’s smile. Why is he smiling like that?! What does it mean?! IT’S DAMAGING MY SOUL!
Special bonus comic crossover: Mary Worth saw Billy’s smile. She no longer has EYES. She gouged them OUT, people.
Lolsworth
August 28th, 2009 at 10:42 am
“Meanwhile, speaking of love, if you thought that scene had nothing to do with love, check this one out!”
luluchappel
August 28th, 2009 at 10:44 am
Yes, there is something worse than seeing Jeffy’s naked, lumpy thighs, but luckily, if you look closely enough you’ll spot the barest (ha, ha) hint of underwear line, and our eyes are spared that cruel fate.
Paul1963
August 28th, 2009 at 10:45 am
Metz77 @3: Nah, not enough gratuitous Nazi imagery or ultraviolence for Miller. Just your typical “No woman is good enough for my no-good unemployed slob of a baby” Momma strip.
F-the-Worldbean: So, Les is not only horrified at the prospect of Summer learning to drive, but also at the notion of Bull being the driver-ed teacher? I can understand the first (“Oh, horrors! My little girl is 16! Soon she’ll be able to solo car date!”), but the second only makes sense if Bull is a really bad driver. Or is it just “Oh, no! My little girl in a car with a man!!“?
BTW, Westview must be in a pretty healthy school district if they still offer driver’s ed in school. My county threw the kids to the private-driving-school wolves many years ago.
Niall
August 28th, 2009 at 10:46 am
Friday, time to snark
Apt 3G: These days, teaching and counselling are pretty much equal, you have to navigate a minefield of neuroses. Thankfully, Prof Greek-name has plenty of experience with neuroses, spending time with the three titular ladies. Obviously he’s good, since Margo hasn’t killed him yet.
Archie: I call fake! This might work with Archie, but out of anyone in the cast, Jughead would instantly and instinctively know when a box of anything food-like is empty in his hands without having to look at it.
BC: Oh hush.
Dennis the Milksop: …school starts on a Sunday now?
Dickishness: Because your circus is freaky and not funny? Also, the letters were magically whisked to the crime lab in a matter of seconds, and seconds more to make the analysis, and seconds more to get the results telepathically to Dick – since this conversation did not take that long (but oh, it felt like weeks). Dick Tracy makes the show CSI look downright realistic after this.
Dilbert: 1) Keep trying, Dilbert, ONE woman will find that a plus. I know they exist. 2) I wonder what that woman would think of me: “What do you mean, you don’t have a cellphone??” Maybe some women would think that a plus too… of course, I’d have to be dating first to find out…
FC: Billy is smiling, watching 1) his brother humiliated; 2) his brother’s junk hanging out and happy his is bigger; 3) his mother’s chest – his stare is a direct line to where her nipples would be. All scenarios are creepy.
Thorp!: Marty looks like he’s bleeding from the temple in panel 2. Was there a barky stick involved? We demand to see the barky stick involved!
Hagar: The titular character is the only thing not horrible in this strip. The art, the humour, the layout, the characterisation, the jokes, the attempted laughs, the colouring, the scratchings, the very reason for its existence are all horrible.
Hi & Lois: There’s no real joke – but the biggest surprise is that it looks like nothing bad is happening! They come out ahead! Of course, this means that when they come back from the concert, high if only from the fumes and having torn Lois’ dress to partake with abandon of the heaving mass of flesh trying to recapture the headiness of its youth and simultaneously trying to forget the problems of today (and there’s nothing wrong with that!), they’ll find the remains of their son’s party where… pretty much the same thing happened, except the heaving mass of flesh there was trying to capture the supposed headiness of their teenage youth as described (some would say prescribed) by its mass market culture and simultaneously trying to forget the future they can’t face. In the Dingoverse, they’d then just go at it all together before taking to the kitchen knives to end it all.
Parker: The biggest problem is Fat Papparazzo trying stupidly to climb barbed wire in the middle instead of at the post (i guess he being dumb as a post means he tries to pretend he’s one?), because real professionals of the sleazy would just drive away anyway. A flat tire does not stop the car the way, say, a missing battery would. Or an empty gas tank. So now FP is is great position to get reamed from behind. Maybe that’s why our cowboy was not that interested in staying near Godiva…
Mary Worth: “…we explored new territory this summer, literally and figuratively!” And now every mudgeon recoils at the mental image of the fawn and the fat manatee “exploring”. (thanks Mooncattie!)
My Cage: Ahh, courtship. :) Ashley’s face should be most fun when she realises what she’s trying to hide from herself… though there’s no guarantee she’ll actually act on it. This strip is definitely not predictable.
Sally: Obviously Hil and Faye made time pass quickly in the pool. Do I even need to elaborate?
Obviously, I’m still a bit rusty…
Oh god, two threads to catch up on!
NoahSnark
August 28th, 2009 at 10:48 am
If there is anything worse than Momma’s relationship with Francis, it is the realization that once upon a time she was the tasteless and vulgar girl all the boys were pursuing.
Muffaroo
August 28th, 2009 at 10:49 am
luluchappel @13 – What’s worse? Thinking Jeffy’s letting it hang out, or having to peer closely enough at his Marvins to be sure he isn’t? It’s a little too much like empirically determining that something on the ground isn’t a Tootsie Roll when I could just walk away from it instead.
Shlomo
August 28th, 2009 at 10:51 am
Hagar- Is cut grass a sick Viking reference to pubic hair? Should I even bother asking why Helga’s is green?
Mary Worth- Tobey is telling Mary that she and Ian are now experimenting with threesomes. I am so glad the diversion in panel 2 has saved us from Tobey’s request for Mary to join them.
Artist formerly known as Ben
August 28th, 2009 at 10:56 am
MW: After your post, Josh, I have very little to add. I guess hearing about Toby and Ian’s sexual experimentation is the downside of a meddling career. That and the creepy grammar Nazism that forces you to say “Isn’t love grand” instead of “Ain’t…”
Momma: The silver lining–to the extent there is one–is that Lazarus didn’t draw any of these bikini girls. Thus we can still sort of imagine them being attractive.
FC: Jeffy’s getting an early start. He’s going as Ziggy this Halloween. Poor bastard.
MT: I remember back during my jobhunting days I would wander around an open field until I got accosted by mountain men. That’s before I discovered temp agencies.
GT: “So what else is out there that you’d like if you gave it a chance?” Not seen in today’s installment: whassisname accompanying Marty on his first trip to a leather bar.
DT: Someone is out to get Ringo? I can’t believe I didn’t think of this before. Check to see if Pete Best can account for his whereabouts.
9CL: No Amos, that sound you hear is the UPS truck delivering a fresh batch of Zip-a-Tone
Phantom: No trouble in 50 years? Apparently the concept of “time off for good behavior” doesn’t exist in Bangala. It’s right up (or down) there with “family visitation” and “defense attorney.”
zenvelo
August 28th, 2009 at 11:05 am
looks to me like Jeffy just crapped his pants and is giving them to Thel as a treat.
Sequitur
August 28th, 2009 at 11:06 am
Ha Ha! The Plugger swallowed his iPod.
Nate
August 28th, 2009 at 11:06 am
I read Mary’s expression as one of pure boredom; perhaps she has been meddling in the lives of the lost souls of Charterstone for so long that she’s even grown bored with herself. Now her only pleasure after listening to these peasants prattle on is to go home, kill a bottle of Scotch, make a few shallow incisions on her upper thighs and desecrate their photos in her “Hate Book.”
StoutHearted
August 28th, 2009 at 11:09 am
“Literally and figuratively” is about as sexually explicit as I want my “Mary Worth” to be. It’s like I’m a teenager again and my mother is explaining the physical mechanics of intercourse in code so as not to embarrass herself by mentioning any actual body parts. I bet Tobey says “bajingo.”
Sequitur
August 28th, 2009 at 11:10 am
Ha Ha! Mike Tyson bit Rat’s ear.
Larry Fine
August 28th, 2009 at 11:12 am
Mary Worth’s meddle radar should have picked up that couple smooching by now.
Toby
August 28th, 2009 at 11:15 am
Momma’s just upset because some of the sluts today are brazen enough to show ankle.
Here’s Jeffy’s future
Pozzo
August 28th, 2009 at 11:16 am
Wait, I’m confused — are we supposed to gather from this that Viking-era Scandinavia was a welfare state?
StoutHearted
August 28th, 2009 at 11:16 am
After today’s Momma strip, I’m not so sure that Momma and Francis aren’t actually the Lockhorns before Francis gets nagged into obesity and shortness.
Dingo
August 28th, 2009 at 11:17 am
I’m just a shy, small-town guy acting as the creature from the id of this site, and yet, it seems that I am my own universe. Thank you, Niall. I shall bequest a solar system of attractive young scantily-clad beach women who enjoy a man who cooks to you. But don’t eat the Apple of Horned Goodness. You’ll have erections that last over four hours and become fond of sitting in bathtubs in the outdoors.
Larry Fine
August 28th, 2009 at 11:21 am
That image of a pantsless Jeffy is so disgusting it just might cure pedophilia.
Artist formerly known as Ben
August 28th, 2009 at 11:28 am
“Dingoverse” is the favorite neologism I’ve heard in quite some time.
One-eyed Wolfdog
August 28th, 2009 at 11:28 am
#29 – May I also have a solar system? A minor one would suffice. I expect you can make reasonable inferences about how it should be populated.
Larry Fine
August 28th, 2009 at 11:30 am
Sally Forth – Hil and her friend don’t want to leave the pool until they’ve peed in it one last time.
TheDiva
August 28th, 2009 at 11:45 am
C’shaft: Ha-ha, it’s funny because old people are bitter killjoys!
reFOOB: Elly is shocked–shocked!–to discover that small children like to put things in their mouths. Which just goes to show she has not been paying much attention to her children, or indeed anybody’s children.
FW: That’s not shock, Summer; he’s choking on a chunk of sausage.
Marvin: I’m sure they wouldn’t complain, Marvin. Is there such a thing as emancipated parent status?
MW: So, Adrian’s dad is letting her go on dates unsupervised now? Whatever, I’m just grateful for the cutaway that spared us Tobey’s detailed description of breaking in the strap-on she bought for the Scotland trip.
Pluggers: annoy everyone in hearing distance by whistling an out-of-tune version of the Andy Griffith Show theme everywhere they go.
Zits: Last week: Jeremy gets his driver’s license.
This week: Jeremy texts everywhere he goes.
Next week: A re-creation of that ultra-bloody PSA that’s making the rounds on YouTube.
Alan's Addiction
August 28th, 2009 at 11:52 am
“Ian and I really connected with each other this summer!” That’s great, Toby, but wouldn’t the ideal time to connect with Ian have been before you married him? Unless Toby is the victim of an arranged marriage…
I have some difficulty believing that Momma, in her 30-year career as caretaker/lover for a man-child, would have learned that you don’t comment about the vileness of anything you don’t want your kids to try. Unless this is all a brilliant, reverse-psychology ruse on Momma’s part to try and marry her son to someone, anyone, and those foolish enough to prance around in those disgusting bikinis are foolish enough to marry an idiot with a creepy, controlling mother.
Billy is smiling in today’s “Family Circus,” because he knows that Jeffy will be thrashed to within an inch of his life for daring to show more flesh than the religiously acceptable 26 square inches.
It’s a good thing that Hagar the Horrible takes place in Medieval Europe, where edible grasses are cheap and easy to gather. In modern times, of course, edible grasses are considered a healthy, trendy side dish; so the joke doesn’t translate quite as well as the writers probably intended.
Patrick
August 28th, 2009 at 11:52 am
I thought it might be uncomfortable for Francis to lie on his stomach on the beach without a towel, until I realized he needed to dig a hole in the sand to hide his erection from Momma.
Dingo
August 28th, 2009 at 11:53 am
The Night That Delights Went Out to Gorge, Ya
Marty Dejong sat in the Camaro, his throbbing manhood itching to peel out of his khakis and breathe in the fresh night air. It had been a good day; that always brought on Mr. Stiffy. Coach Kaz drove as slow and carefully as an Argentine tango instructor fucking an elderly fan.
“Casper’s wrong. I was a pro but I’m not now.” Marty sighed. He struggled in the seat to hide Mr. Stiffy from Coach Kaz’ prying eyes.
“And to everyone but you, that still makes you a success.” Kaz replied. Damn, that Kaz and his blathering pontification. He was like Mary Worth but without the scent of patchouli oil.
Kaz looked Marty in the eye. Well, he looked him in the eye with his good eye and not the one replaced with glass after the bar fight over Gail Martin. “Admit it, Marty — you like working with kids.”
Marty gulped. Had Kaz seen him staring at Casper? Had Kaz been aware of his walking into the shower while Casper was soaping himself to have “a conversation?” Had Kaz overheard the sweet gutteral staccato sighs emanating from Casper’s mouth as Marty rimmed him into a pool of hot, wet, manly submission? Time for the poker face, man. The Texas Hold’em Poker Face.
The silence filled the car like the moment after the inevitable “let’s just be friends” Valentine’s dinner.
Kaz spoke. “So what else is out there that you’d like if given a chance?”
Marty thought long and he thought hard. Marty thought as long and hard as his long, hard cock. There was an image in his mind’s eye, an image he had suppressed for so many years. He struggled to block it now but it wouldn’t go away. It was the Bobby in the backseat with an umbrella on Greg’s date in the convertible of images.
“Don’t drop me off at home, man. I need to go somewhere.”
“Where?”
_______________________________________
Marty sat on the step. No one was home. Yet he could not leave. Before the night was over, it was time to have this conversation. Too much had transpired and now was the night to bring it all together.
A car turned into the driveway. It was Coach Thorp and he was alone. Gil parked the car and saw Dejong waiting for him. As he exited the vehicle, Marty stood and walked toward him.
“A bit late for you to be out, isn’t it?” said Thorp.
“I needed to see you.” said Marty. “You gave me a chance to work through my anger. Anger I’d been keeping inside for so many years. I wasn’t even sure what I was angry about. And then, it hit me. I’ve been such a fool. The reason I acted out was because I had a crush on you back in high school. Big time. You were this big, strapping guy so different from all my other teachers and I liked you. You showed interest in me but only in my arm. It wasn’t my arm that wanted you, man; it was my cock.”
Marty shuffled his feet. “I’m sorry about everything, Coach Thorp.” The italics were added for emphasis, just like a curve ball.
Coach Thorp placed his hand on Marty’s shoulder. He squeezed, firmly but gently. He looked into Marty’s eyes and Marty looked back.
Coach Thorp whispered, “If you figured a few things out, it was worth the window.” Both men smiled. Coach Thorp pulled Marty to him and hugged the young man.
Gil placed his lips tenderly up to Marty’s ear. “And now that you’ve broken my window, I think it’s time you started on the door.”
“The door?” Marty queried.
“Yes,” said Gil. “The door to my ass. Time for you to kick that door down, Marty, and show me that the pupil has become the teacher. Fuck me. Fuck me viciously and hard. Fruhlinger me ’til the cows come home.”
They kissed. And then, Gil walked Marty into the house.
—FIN—
Mela
August 28th, 2009 at 12:02 pm
‘Shaft: Yes, we get it. Old people suck and live on only to inconvenience their poor Boomer children. Can we move onto more tortured puns or pseudo-artsy time-jumps?
FW: C’mon, Summer! One more stupid shock like that, and you’re free! Free!
Gasoline Alley: I don’t know what hurts more: the painful punnage, the scary artwork, or the thought of potato-carving-lady “meaning it” romance-wise. Yikes.
Mary Worth: Could you possibly look more bored with someone else’s happiness than Mary does in that first panel? She’s not even trying to hide it.
Pluggers: Pluggers are so disconnected from anything that’s been invented since 1980 that they assume all new tech works like a fancier transistor radio. That, or Rhino Man thought it was a funky new candy bar and ate his grandkid’s.
Canaduck
August 28th, 2009 at 12:03 pm
When I first looked at Momma today I was convinced that Oedipus was supposed to be lying on his stomach, with his legs bent up in the air. It would certainly make more sense, based on the way his head is twisted and the angle of his feet. Oh, and in the first panel he appears to bend in the middle of his chest. Those are some horrible, horrible drawings and I have no idea how these wretched, incompetent strips manage to stay afloat for so long. Is the mob involved in the comics industry somehow?
By the way, Jeffy’s naked legs look like sacks of mashed potatoes and they are making me ill.
teddytoad
August 28th, 2009 at 12:03 pm
MW: Those two don’t really look like they’re kissing, do they? They look like they’re sleeping against each other’s faces. I’m sure it’s just some coloring mistake.
Family Circus: Posing without pants, demanding brand-name clothes… sorry Thel, Jeffy is totally gay. Judging by Billy’s leering grin, I think we all know who to blame. I hope this panel represents the beginning of the cartoonist’s regression and exploration of a new side of his tortured sibling relationship, because the next few weeks will be so awesome… like, child-incest-in-a-stultifyingly-evangelical-cartoon awesome.
lunarhalo
August 28th, 2009 at 12:08 pm
Billy’s smiling like pirate in the grog shoppe because of the price tag hanging from his newly acquired
thrift storedepartment storeWalmart threads. You’ll have plenty of time to be a consumer whore in the future Jeffy, trust me.odinthor
August 28th, 2009 at 12:11 pm
#15. Niall.
Charley’s book Cool Tips for Cool Studs (Morningwood Press, 2007) recommends as follows: “If, upon your revelation that you do not possess a cell phone, the chick gives you a look of disdain, grab her hand passionately, look deep into her eyes, and say, ‘Baby, who needs a cell phone when you’re my ring-tone of love?!’. Results are guaranteed!”. Unfortunately, Charley doesn’t specify exactly what results are guaranteed, so you’re on your own there.
Katya
August 28th, 2009 at 12:12 pm
“Isn’t love grand?”
Who the hell speaks like that? Oh, that’s right — Platitude Mary, of course.
Dingo
August 28th, 2009 at 12:14 pm
Actually, Katya, Mary Worth and my mother. Then again, when something is fairly easy, she says, “A babboon could do it in the dark!”
junk science
August 28th, 2009 at 12:15 pm
Francis is definitely lying on his back, unless his misaligned nipples and his navel are on the wrong side. His feet are so long because he’s experimenting with digitigrady, and he’s adapted so well to it that his toes now naturally point to his knees.
Katya
August 28th, 2009 at 12:24 pm
Momma:
Oh, Josh, chill out.
She only want the very best for her darwing widdle boy and, really, what good mother doesn’t?
There’s a fine line between the above and full-out meddling, of course.
Ha, ha!
Comcis Fan
August 28th, 2009 at 12:29 pm
Momma: Is he sitting on his bottom with his very big feet awkwardly erect, or lying on his belly with his knees bent, ogling the girl and subduing another protrusion?
RMMD: “Something’s eating you. What is it?”
Becka: I … I .. stumbled on some old wrestling mats in the exercise room. I think it’s MSRA.
Chyron HR
August 28th, 2009 at 12:31 pm
Mary Worth – Meanwhile, speaking of love… it’s the video for ABC’s hit, The Look of Love!
Katya
August 28th, 2009 at 12:34 pm
Family Circus:
C’mon, people. The “joke” here is obvious.
Billy’s older, so he got new school clothes. Jeffy gets the hand-me-downs.
I must say, though, Billy looks unsettlingly smug, the little brat.
Thank God I was the oldest kid in my family. I know all about this situation, but I would imagine my two sisters have a rather different perspective on the matter.
BigTed
August 28th, 2009 at 12:40 pm
Momma should just be glad that her sons are attracted to women with normal-shaped bodies. From the looks of the older generation, I’m pretty sure “Hobbs” was shortened from “Hobbits” by an immigration official on Ellis Island.
Laocoon
August 28th, 2009 at 12:41 pm
The crease in Jeffy’s leg where his ass is (might want to get that looked at..) makes it look like he has a vagina instead of an ass. Now if you’ll excuse me I’m going to go take a powerdrill to my hippocampus
Binder's Butter Beans
August 28th, 2009 at 12:45 pm
No, no – Mrs. Hagar is just mad at Hagar for not bringing her back anything from his pillaging of Paris, again. Note: YOU’RE having my “very end of the month special.” Mrs. Hagar is having roast capon, and delicious it is, too.
Katya
August 28th, 2009 at 12:46 pm
Rex Morgan, M.D.:
So the other office assistant, whatever her name is, says, “…something’s eating you!”
I’m not sure I like the sound of that, but at least she didn’t say “…somebody!” That would have been more than I could handle at this time of the morning.
Katya
August 28th, 2009 at 12:52 pm
“9 Chickweed Lame”:
This whole strip is like a disastrous train wreck from which I am unable to avert my eyes.
Baka Gaijin
August 28th, 2009 at 12:55 pm
Mary Worth: Really? Queenie and the cop? Damn, another few months of eyes out of alignment with cheekbones.
Calico
August 28th, 2009 at 12:59 pm
FC – What is especially horrifying about this is Billy’s smile whilst looking at his pantsless younger brother.
Katya
August 28th, 2009 at 1:02 pm
Hagar the Horrible:
At first I thought Helga was talking about her “time of the month” special. Then I read it again. Whew!
Katya
August 28th, 2009 at 1:06 pm
Judge Parker:
So gorillas are now being hired as paparazzi? What on earth is with that guy’s face?
Katya
August 28th, 2009 at 1:13 pm
Mark Trail:
“Something highly illegal, of course.”
It’s glaringly obvious from the bad guys’ bad guy sideburns.
Mark is right, it seems — nothing good can come from facial hair of any sort.
Joe Blevins
August 28th, 2009 at 1:14 pm
MW: Mary misspoke. By “grand,” she meant “bland.”
towels
August 28th, 2009 at 1:14 pm
58- Katya- it’s the sort of face that goes through barbed wire instead of over it.
________
I can see a whole week of MW plotlines unfolding. First panel shows the ladies chattering away, with a final panel saying MEANWHILE and cutting to a scene where nothing happens. One day Charley’s DVD rack, the next a closed bookstore, then a field in Scotland. Too bad they’re out of potatoade so it can’t happen.
Niall
August 28th, 2009 at 1:15 pm
YY321. buckyswife: I think it’s safe to say we all indulge in gang validation in here…
YY323. TheDiva: There’s a series of French children’s comics in Europe in whcih the grandfather figure is shown to have a healthy lust for another old lady, and is hatching many schemes with the main child character to try and get together with her, away from the busybody parents (his daughter and husband) wanting to keep him nice and quiet and treating him like a baby. It’s a wonderful role reversal from the usual cliché. In one gag I read last night, the child tells the grandpa he got him all kinds of surprise birthday gifts, and they end up being toys the child likes, and the grandpa is shown dejected and pouting at the insult. It’s a funny gag, and shows how grandparents are definitely not children.
YY329. True Fable on “Toeby”: oh sweet lord that’s the jackpot. “reddish pastel dress”… and the rest… oh my… much much silent giggling at work again. Bravo!
YY344. Mr. O’Malley: Thanks for the Fancy links! A song I didn’t know, but I can see can be a minor classic.. or at least a minorly memorable song! Especially that video.. yow. Saucy for the time, I expect. In fact, that entire outfit seems taken right out of Mary Worth, cameltoe and colour and frill.
Niall
August 28th, 2009 at 1:18 pm
29 Dingo: A bathtub outdoors would be strange, but you’ll find it difficult to convince me there’s anything bad with a bevy of beach babes, an erection of four hours and a hottub outdoors…
Jeff Soesbe (yeff)
August 28th, 2009 at 1:18 pm
Mary’s *words* may say she’s happy for Tobey and Ian, but her expression says something else entirely: “Happiness. Glee. Satisfaction. This. Must. Be. Destroyed!”
- yeff
mollificent
August 28th, 2009 at 1:24 pm
MC: Far be it from me to rain on the Norm/Ashley parade (Niall would never forgive me ;)) but wasn’t it recently established that she has a boyfriend? I thought Maureen went out with Norm and Creepy Dude because she was the only single co-worker.
Then again, maybe I’m being my usual naive self (“wait, she has a BOYFRIEND, doesn’t she? She couldn’t POSSIBLY show interest in another man. That would be…would be…WRONG!” Sigh.)
MT: I love MT bingo! and this storyline already looks promising. The question is, whose existing board should I
stealuse? (Obviously I’m far too lazy to make my own…)(#15 Niall: Yay, a nice big helping of Niall-snark! IT IS NOT RUSTY!!)
P.S. I really, really love this blog. It makes me sad that I’ll never be as funny as most of the people here…but hey, I get to enjoy their snark, so that’s all good then. :)
Katya
August 28th, 2009 at 1:25 pm
For Better or For Worse:
Oh, my goodness! “Shreik”???
I’m assuming Elizabeth was emitting a “shriek,” but I could be wrong. Perhaps she’s an extremely precocious child and is merely asking for a “sheik.”
Marthas Rolling Pin
August 28th, 2009 at 1:26 pm
6Chix: Guest starring Angry Kem
JP: I believe the maintenance guy had to find something else to do when Liberty Meadows closed, and took up photography.
Karen
August 28th, 2009 at 1:27 pm
I have to admit, though, I’m really enjoying the expression on Mary’s face as she pretends to be happy for Toby and the Hirsute One. You just know that inwardly she’s thinking, “Dear God, please don’t let Toby show me vacation pictures, PLEASE GOD.”
Saluki
August 28th, 2009 at 1:28 pm
Hi & Lois: Ha Ha. It’s funny because the stupid old people like going to concerts where musicians with actual talent play their own instruments and don’t lip sync. That is soooooo twentieth century.
bats :[
August 28th, 2009 at 1:29 pm
63. Niall: just remember, an erection that lasts more that four hours isn’t a medical emergency, it’s a scheduling problem. (For the life of me, I can’t recall what comedian said this.)
FC: I thought this was amusing, with Thel trying to masquerade the heartbreak of hand-me-downs.
Not that something like that would ever stop me…
JH Pants
August 28th, 2009 at 1:31 pm
#25. Larry Fine Don’t you mean Mary’s meddle detector?
Ha ha! I’ll be here all week! Be sure to tip the wait staff!
Katya
August 28th, 2009 at 1:36 pm
#65 — mollificent:
Hey, mollificent, don’t sell yourself short! I, for one, think you’re hella funny, and I bet a lot of others here do as well… :)
Ktrout
August 28th, 2009 at 1:39 pm
Not even a cop today would sport the Brylcreemed ’50s look of Jeff Jr’s new man. In fact I think soap opera comics in general have a bad case of ’50s hair syndrome.
Aviatrix
August 28th, 2009 at 1:50 pm
The ol’ Elrod bingo ball machine is spitting out several this morning.
Under the T: heron
Under the R: seduced by the dark side
Under the I: water tower (WTF? I’ll bet no one had that!)
Under the L: sideburns
Come on, “Mark misusing a cellphone”!
Aviatrix
August 28th, 2009 at 1:53 pm
OMG! I just looked at the linked boards. Those are masterpieces. I am not WORTHY of calling this bingo game.
Katya
August 28th, 2009 at 2:00 pm
#31 — Artist formerly known as Ben:
Yeah, it’s good, but my personal choice is “bloggadocio,” coined by none other than True Fable. Maybe a cute little goat whispered it into his ear.
Also, the use of “bloggadocio” got True Fable a marriage proposal from mollificent, although, alas, all that is in the past now.
Can your favorite neologism do all that?
Baka Gaijin
August 28th, 2009 at 2:02 pm
#70 bats [: : Jeff Foxworthy. Not coincidentally, I saw this sign over the local whorehouse door: “For erections over 4 hours, see us!”
cheech wizard
August 28th, 2009 at 2:03 pm
Big Dog – Marmaduke and his young master fail in their “Trojan Dog” plot to infiltrate the pizza shop. But instead of an army of tiny invaders spilling out of his belly, I think he was just going to take a big dump on the floor. Which would probably be worse, come to think of it.
bats :[
August 28th, 2009 at 2:13 pm
75. Aviatrix: of course you are! You’re the mastermind behind it all. I (I’ll let spacemika speak for him/herself) am but a loyal assistant, but at least I look much better than the paparazzi’s goon in JP.
Alfred E. Neuman
August 28th, 2009 at 2:25 pm
#19 AfkaB Re: FC— Jeffy is too excited to wait for Halloween. He is going to the weekly Ziggy Look-a-Like Contest hosted by Rex Morgan.
Dingo
August 28th, 2009 at 2:42 pm
Just a reminder that today is free chocolate day from Mars: http://www.realchocolate.com
Nekrotzar
August 28th, 2009 at 2:42 pm
The juxtaposition of Momma with MW makes it appear that Momma is complaining about Adrienne(*).
(*) Damn it, that’s how it should be spelled.
Muffaroo
August 28th, 2009 at 2:45 pm
Katya @49 – When people bypass the obvious joke, it means they are rejecting it purposely. They see it and say, “It would be an insult to the cartoonist to believe that this could have been his purpose, so we must find the real joke here.”
Mary – People are believing that Mary is a sniffy prude, but in reality, she creeps around Charterstone at night, scrawling “CONNECT YOU” on walls.
Me – And now I wish I’d said (of R=R), “Funny how that works. If you’re dim enough, even the cool glow of fireflies seems unbearably bright.”
bats :[
August 28th, 2009 at 2:52 pm
81. You da Dingo!
Jimmyleg Jehosephat
August 28th, 2009 at 2:56 pm
What we see in Family Circus is a “butterfly effect” moment. Billy, because of his genuinely new clothes, will go on to run a multimillion-dollar carpet-cleaning corporation. Jeffy, with no self-esteem, and certainly no external esteem from his brainwashed consumerist suburban peer-group, will end up flunking out of school, hooked on demerol, and will die in a convenience-store holdup gone bad.
Niall
August 28th, 2009 at 2:57 pm
Perusing yestherthread… and dammit, missed the whole Irishmen/Scotsmen fun with mollificent. (I seem to always miss the fun with mollificent…) As for Lemon Drops, knowing now what vodka does to me… it might get me suggestible.. or pliable… …. lead on! :)
Although I’m only half Irish, and the family history goes back to Gallowglasses and Scotsmen anyway…
Y190. Katya: L’autre moitié est canadienne-française. Je vois qu’il n’y a que l’embarras du choix ici. :)
Hmm, lots of hilarity yesterthread, but not much to specifically add… probably a good thing for me. :)
Jumper
August 28th, 2009 at 2:58 pm
Another way to look at this is, with his thrifty hand-me-downs, Jeffy is a Plugger.
Billy is just an asshole.
Alfred E. Neuman
August 28th, 2009 at 3:13 pm
#80 Myself Re: Rex Morgan’s Ziggy contest— You might think that with his shock of International Orange hair, Jeffy doesn’t look much like Ziggy. But it is important to note that Rex judges only from the waist down.
Isaac
August 28th, 2009 at 3:14 pm
There is something far worse than seeing Jeffy’s naked thighs.
What if he turns around?
Dingo
August 28th, 2009 at 3:14 pm
Billy to Thel: “Daddy told me last night that I’m an asshole but a special one that’s not like you.”
Thel: “What type of asshole did Daddy say you were?”
Billy: “Tight!”
AirForbes
August 28th, 2009 at 3:22 pm
Holy mackerel, first Rusty, now Mary Worth. This must be creepy close-up week.
Katya
August 28th, 2009 at 3:22 pm
#83 — Muffaroo:
Yes, I know. That’s one reason I decided to put the word “joke” in parentheses, i.e., to indicate that there really isn’t much of one there.
I just didn’t feel much like going with all the other posters mentioning Jeffy’s naked legs, Billy’s leering gaze at his bro, and so on. I mean, all that had already been worked to death, and I didn’t find it all that original to begin with anyway.
It’s taking the easy way out sometimes to turn everything, but everything into sexual innuendo, I think.
Anyway, that’s all. Not to say I didn’t enjoy everyone else’s snark on this one! :)
bats :[
August 28th, 2009 at 3:24 pm
80. Alfred E. Neuman: great minds, Mr. Neuman, great minds…
88. AEN: (Ziggy and Jeffy’s skin tone is just about a spot-on match. Color monkeys? Genetics? You decide!)
mollificent
August 28th, 2009 at 3:25 pm
#72 Katya: Aw, thanks! I’m not usually too quick on the draw with super-witty snark, but I have been known to interpret the snark of others. (Click on my name link and you’ll see what I mean).
spacemika
August 28th, 2009 at 3:27 pm
65. mollificent — I tried to make it easy to create new boards with a blank board, 75 filler pieces, and 5 stylistically-different Fist-of-Justices. You can browse for ‘em in a gallery, or go to the board Josh linked and see the directory of raw images. You can do it! And it’d justify the time I really shouldn’t have spent on that… (note: my I&T columns are reversed from the original rules)
75. Aviatrix — Without a caller, there is no game! 75. bats :[ said it perfectly: you are the Evil Genius and we are mere minions executing your bidding.
bats :[ — Thank you for the welcoming, inclusive comments; it makes emerging from lurkerhood rewarding!
mollificent
August 28th, 2009 at 3:35 pm
Ooo! Thanks, Spacemika! I was going to try to get something done today, but screw that. Mark Trail bingo it is! :D
Poteet
August 28th, 2009 at 3:37 pm
JP — I’m tellin’ you, the goon is the Queen of Hearts’ brother. Check out his Royal Sis –
http://cache.gifts.com/photos/opd/U/A/V/S/UAVSEC6KUYPN7NVR3FHX.jpg
Katya
August 28th, 2009 at 3:49 pm
#6 — AeroSquid:
So I’ve decided to start clicking on name links, as I’ve now been here for a little while and feel a bit as though I’m getting to know some of you.
And I found out…ooh, you have flown airplanes; perhaps you’re still flying airplanes! I guess that makes you a…pilot!
Flying (general aviation) is one of my passions, but sadly I have given it up for the time being. It’s too expensive and I have young children. (Everyone else always seemed scandalized that I was pursuing my private pilot certificate when I had two mere babies, but it never bothered me. Don’t know exactly what that says about me, but I always thought I was a good role model for my two sons, as the vast majority of pilots are male.)
Poteet
August 28th, 2009 at 3:49 pm
Hagar — Today’s strip reminds me of the cheery story laid out in Jared Diamond’s COLLAPSE about the Greenland settlement that apparently died out partly because of difficult weather, partly because of environmental abuse, and partly because the settlers were determined to live a European lifestyle instead of learning from the Inuit. Suffering, struggling, starvation, death, extermination. Good times, good times. Enjoy that grass, Hagar!
Jason1981
August 28th, 2009 at 3:58 pm
# 66- Katya :
It’s not that surprising that Lynn uses “SHRIEK!” as a sound effect–especially when she’s used even DUMBER stuff such as:
“cut, cut cut! ” or
” wrap wrap wrap!” ,
“clean, clean, clean!”
and ,” crap, crap, crap..” oh, wait, that last one was just my opinion of Foob.
S-M: Alright, Wolverine is free! Good thing, too..Spidey might’ve hurt himself trying to come up with a plan to rescue MJ.
Hopefully Logan’s plan will be: “Let’s just leave the broad here, she ain’t any use to anyone–she couldn’t outwit a Mark Trail villan.” (then again, neither could Spider-Man )
Dingo
August 28th, 2009 at 3:59 pm
Hmm. Sixty-odd comments and not one directed at #37. Hmm. Time to start writing for that show about the sassy robot.
AeroSquid
August 28th, 2009 at 4:06 pm
#98 Katya: I suppose if I were in a singles bar with you, I would say: “Yes. Yes I am a pilot.” Then I would be completely embarrassed once you started talking about Cessna 172 performance ratios. =) Nope. I’m a retired Navy Loadmaster. I crewed on the C-9B (DC-9/MD-80) Skytrain II for about ten years. The most flying I do now is on MS Flight Sim X. Right now I’m a Air Operations civilian at Scott AFB in Illinois.
Katya
August 28th, 2009 at 4:08 pm
#101 — Dingo:
Are you implying that none of us knows sheer genius when we see it? :)
I read your whole story and it was great. I think that perhaps the reason it hasn’t yet been commented on is that people don’t have the time right now to respond at length, as I’m sure they’d love to do.
Wait until tonight, when everyone’s off work. Your incredible writing and storytelling skills will be validated, mark my words!
mvg
August 28th, 2009 at 4:14 pm
Paul1963 (14): “BTW, Westview must be in a pretty healthy school district if they still offer driver’s ed in school. My county threw the kids to the private-driving-school wolves many years ago.”
Naw, it’s simply that Bathos doesn’t have much contact w/the real world, as witness the whole Wally storyline.
queek
August 28th, 2009 at 4:15 pm
65: Ashley does have a boyfriend. Ash has basically no self-esteem, and seems to pick partners that confirm it. She could do far better. ( Normash? Ashorm? I fail at shipping names.)
http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20090510&name=My_Cage
panel 4 for a prime example.
I had a weird thought a few days back, basically thinking of what sort of a character in My Cage would work as a mustelid, and got sidetracked. Imagine a couple that were an Indian mongoose and a cobra (Indian or other Asian) Would that be a mixed marriage? Have their been reptile characters in MC before? Xrist, I need a life. . .
mollificent: voice of an angel, and a face to match.
Katya
August 28th, 2009 at 4:18 pm
#102 — AeroSquid:
My mistake. I just saw the words “Embry-Riddle Aeronautical University” and ran with it from there. :)
And I know zip about Cessnas. I flew a Piper Cherokee Warrior, which, as you no doubt are aware, is a low-wing four-seater.
Man, talking about this makes me miss flying so much. Since I stopped, I’ve tried to put it out of my mind, so I won’t get all depressed about it.
But maybe I’ll at least renew my subscription to “Flying” magazine…
mollificent
August 28th, 2009 at 4:19 pm
queek: good lord, I forgot about that! Is Ashley’s boyfriend that morose walrus dude? Ashley…run, don’t walk over to Norm’s house right now!
Also…*blushes, kicks dirt*…thanks. :)
mollificent
August 28th, 2009 at 4:19 pm
P.S. Normley?
Batman Beatles
August 28th, 2009 at 4:20 pm
S-M: Oh sure, we don’t get to see how Wolverine breaks free?
queek
August 28th, 2009 at 4:20 pm
92: a wise man once said “when correctly viewed, everything is lewd”
(further information on Tom Lehr and his lyrics are available on the internet. . . .)
AeroSquid
August 28th, 2009 at 4:31 pm
#106 . Katya: I got my Aviation Admin degree there. =)
Katya
August 28th, 2009 at 4:38 pm
#105 — queek:
Definitely agree with you about mollificent!!! And exclamation points are assuredly called for in that last sentence.
Why would she write that comment about herself at #65??? It’s so unwarranted!
#110 — Mr. queek again:
Okay, I’ll give you that one. Why the hell not? :)
Dingo
August 28th, 2009 at 4:44 pm
Katya and Aero:
Wow. You learn new things about people every day. If we ever got the ‘mudgeons together in one room for a convention, what a sight and conniption that would be!
Katya
August 28th, 2009 at 4:47 pm
#86 — Niall:
Ooh! A French speaker!!! (And again, those exclamation points are right where they should be; that’s how happy I am…)
French is another one of my great passions.
Gotta go now, but remind me to get back to you later, definitely! :)
UncleJeff
August 28th, 2009 at 4:50 pm
48 Chryon HR: Thank you for the link to “Look of Love”. That’s one of my favorite “guilty pleasure” songs and I never knew it came with a “real” video (I had seen performances by ABC). That must’ve predated MTV.
Anyway, a nice way to end a Friday.
crazyjerseygirl
August 28th, 2009 at 4:54 pm
Is it just me or was todays 9CL drawn by the same folks from Mary Worth?
Oh, and does this week of Crankshaft flashbacks mean that we are drawing nearer to his ultimate grumpy demise?
Girl can dream can’t she?
~Crazy
Niall
August 28th, 2009 at 4:58 pm
Another snark:
Momma: What is that thing on top of panel 1?? They look like they’re on a half-buried giant balloon, the knotted opening protruding at the top.. or else they’re sitting on a very pregnant immense woman’s belly, and she happens to have an outie navel. Either of them are equally sickening, yet less than Lazarus’ depiction of a “sexy” woman in a bikini.
GarrisonSkunk
August 28th, 2009 at 4:58 pm
Hagar: Now you know why Hagar eats out as often as he can.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c6z-daQea_4
ladadog
August 28th, 2009 at 5:05 pm
#97, Poteet:
I agree with you completely about the Queen of Hearts and the goon paparazzo… but, check out the Tenniel illustration for a better likeness. (Sorry, you have to cut & paste – I’m pretty bad at this.)
http://www.alice-in-wonderland.net/pictures/queen-of-hearts-pictures.html
E. Nonny Mouse
August 28th, 2009 at 5:07 pm
@92 Katya, Family Ickle is enjoyed by many for its dark underbelly of incest and human sacrifice. We got the “real” (joke), we’re not stupid. If you don’t want to go to the dark side, it’s your choice. But please don’t stomp all over everyone else’s snark and say it’s been “worked to death” and “wasn’t original in the first place” just because it’s not your cup of potato-ade, k?
And if “taking the easy way out” is to turn everything into sexual innuendo, then this site is Easy Street – and IMHO I don’t think it needs to be renovated.
Niall
August 28th, 2009 at 5:09 pm
32. One-eyed Wolfdog: Oh, Dingo could populate mine as the Planet of Scantily-clad Ashley Babes and I’d be happy. :) (And that is indeed a reference that’s 15 years old and obscure within an already small and relatively obscure part of fandom…)
37. Dingo: Near the end of this mini-opus (at “door”, to be precise), I had a phone call which I had to take immediately. I had been trying not to laugh loudly since at work. I must have given the most wide-mouthed “hello?” all month. Good thing I could keep my answers to monosyllables. Complex sentences were beyond me. Then I hung up and read the rest and nearly dissolved. Your id is a scary and scarily enticing place to be.
42. odinthor: “Morningwood Press” is inspired.
65. Mollificent: Yes, Ashley has a boyfriend, and it’s been established right from the start – a rather dour walrus, whom she left at the table and never introduced to anyone during the Violet/Rex wedding (the only time we ever saw him). It’s been intimated in possible hints that she only keeps him around to keep herself able to nag at Norm because that makes it safe. Norm once found her adorable, and even his counselor saw through Ashley`s façade without ever meeting her. So the hookup is not impossible – it’s just not predictable. (so Queek beat me to it.. ah well. Wish I could find the other examples, like the counselor, but going back 5 months hasn’t turned it up.)
As for yourself, you have snark too! and a harp. A harp and red hair and a lovely voice. And know how to use them. And charm. And… *chuckles and brings up his hands to warm them in the heat of your reddening face ;)*
70. bats :[ : Congratulations, I`m somewhat not hungry now…
76. Katya: if my not-really-neologism gets me a marriage proposal, I… I… I can’t think of anything, since it can’t happen…
81. Dingo: Mars continues its campaign of disinformation, I see. Though they’re still miles ahead of Hershey’s.
98. Katya: you are most certainly a great role model! Pilot school with babies, and not wanting to take the easy way out in snark! You’re raising them just fine, we can tell. :)
114. Katya: …I don’t mind intelligent women who view French as a passion… *big grin*
Niall
August 28th, 2009 at 5:11 pm
120. E Nonny Mouse: I certainly didn’t feel like Katya was “stomping” over our choice of snark, she was just quietly expressing her reasoning why she didn’t. All fine and good in mudgeonland. :)
In fact, I should myself make efforts of imagination to not go that route unless it’s the only one possible…
Joe Blevins
August 28th, 2009 at 5:17 pm
Toby totally looks like Olga Baclanova at the end of Freaks.
HighPlainsDrifter
August 28th, 2009 at 5:29 pm
check out the footware error in 8/28 MONTY:
http://comics.com/monty/2009-08-28/
Fast changing Montahue
gleeb
August 28th, 2009 at 5:35 pm
A&JArlo has never been in Washington in August. If you think legislation moves slowly normally, try it at 90 degrees F and 90% humidity.
Charterstoned
August 28th, 2009 at 5:40 pm
MW – How are we to interpret Mary’s expression in panel 1? Do we take her words at face value? Or, are we supposed to believe that she is disturbed by Toby’s enthusiasm? Is she comparing the passion that Ian and Toby share with the platonic characteristics of her own dull relationship with Dr. Jeff? Who cares. What I really want to know is, what the heck happened to her pupils? Are her eyes rolled back in sarcasm so far into her sockets that the pupils have disappeared? Is she only looking at Toby without moving her head, perhaps because her neck is stiff? Did Moy run out of eyeball ink?
seismic-2
August 28th, 2009 at 5:41 pm
GT: Kaz: “Admit it Marty – you like working with kids. So what else is out there that you’d like, if you gave it a chance?”
Marty: “Well, considering how much I like using it, I’d probably enjoy selling crack. And as you say, I do like working with kids, so being a schoolyard pusher could finally be the big chance that I’ve missed out on, all these years.”
Kaz: “Great! Let me take you to Gil’s house so that you can thank him for convincing you to skip college. I wish I had!”
JP: Uh-oh, the baddies have a flat tire. Now they’ll have to set fire to their car, to cover their tracks.
FC: The “joke” here is that you don’t have to be Sigmund Freud to see that Jeff Keane is finally venting his life-long resentment and self-loathing at being stuck with inheriting his family’s shitty hand-me-downs. And, oh yes, at also having flabby thighs.
DeathPie
August 28th, 2009 at 6:17 pm
If there Is anything more disturbing than Jeffy’s nudity, its seeing his older brother’s smile upon seeing Jeffy’s nudity.
queek
August 28th, 2009 at 6:19 pm
122: problem is, so many of them have no other possibility! (and there are only so many times you can post “unspeakable filth!” before it gets rather stale.)
I mean, c’mon. Beetle is about 3/4s gaysex, Love Is may as well flip a coin, tails it’s about buttsex, and there’s a couple others that are more text than sub these days.
I can tell you tales about Peter Pan, and the Wizard of Oz, there’s a dirty old man!
Niall
August 28th, 2009 at 6:30 pm
I have to share this one…
While on an IM last night, in a discussion with someone who claims to be a legal-but-young woman from not too far away (definitely something I take with a grain of salt), and after she said she likes parading in her room in the altogether, I decided to test that and tease her about taking photos. She said she could, but not at the moment, that she needed a new memory card. I blinked, and had to ask her why. All I could think of was Rusty and the stupid criminals, and really, this couldn’t possibly lead to the same reas–* She said that it was because her card was full.
I laughed. I really did.
Let’s say the grain of salt is really huge right now. :) I mean, talk about your perfect cliché setup…
M
August 28th, 2009 at 6:32 pm
I like how smug Billy looks, though … “ha-ha, I get new clothes, but you’re not good enough for new clothes, ’cause Mom loves me more.”
Niall
August 28th, 2009 at 6:33 pm
Hmm. At work on IE 5, going to an outside link and coming back does get me to the comment I departed from. At home on Firefox 3, it brings me at the top of the page…
seismic-2
August 28th, 2009 at 6:37 pm
MW: “Oh, Mary, Ian showed me so many remarkable new things while we were in Scotland! Like, you know that big furry thing that Scotsmen have hanging down on top of their kilts? Well, it turns out that they have another furry thing hanging down underneath their kilts, too, except it’s really tiny. Who knew???”
seismic-2
August 28th, 2009 at 6:49 pm
#131 – M: Billys smug expression comes from his knowledge that Jeffy doesn’t need new pants, because the family is about to sell him off to a medical laboratory engaged in trying to develop a cure for cellulite.
curlyfries
August 28th, 2009 at 6:51 pm
#133 Seismic-2, “really tiny” grossly impugns Sean Connery, Ewan McGregor and James McAvoy.
C’mon, take a good look at Toeby. It’s called “shrinkage”.
Bryan
August 28th, 2009 at 6:56 pm
9CL: “Bandoneón” Oh, for crying out loud. I looked it up, it’s a South American accordion. Haw haw haw! They heard a South American accordion often used in the tango, and they strike a pose evoking the tango. Haw haw haw!
That’s it. That’s the joke. If you don’t know what a bandoneón is, there’s not much there apart from Brooke’s obsessive attention to Edda’s ass. She’s not real, Brooke! Didn’t you see Cool World? Noids can’t mate with doodles!
Chris Hansen
August 28th, 2009 at 7:01 pm
130: Niall, when will we see you on “To Catch a Predator?”
Islamorada Girl
August 28th, 2009 at 7:04 pm
FC doesn’t tell the half of hand me downs. I had many, many, girl cousins and I was about third in line.
Alfred E. Neuman
August 28th, 2009 at 7:09 pm
#93 bats :[ — You’re right, the color match between Jeffy and Ziggy is very close. A bit too close, if you ask me. This caused me to wonder whether Thel and Ziggy might have had a fling at one time. Accordingly, I conducted a quick AEN interview with the two.
AEN: Ziggy and Jeffy have remarkably similar coloring. This suggests the possibility that Ziggy is the father. Do either of you think that is possible?
Thel: Ida know.
Ziggy: Not me!
Poteet
August 28th, 2009 at 7:15 pm
# 130 Niall — Sounds like you had a better time online last night than I did. I made the mistake of getting into what I thought was a polite anonymous discussion about evolution on a newspaper forum, and one of the participants became so unglued by what she called my “cunning use of language” that she decided I was Satan, and tried to cast me into outer darkness using the standard religious formula. And I think she was serious.
Sorry to go so OT, but it was definitely a reminder of how wonderful CC is by comparison.
And it didn’t help when I very politely pointed out that during the casting attempt, she had misspelled “Nazareth.”
curlyfries
August 28th, 2009 at 7:18 pm
#136 Bryan, for crying out loud, indeed. Brooke McElfullofhimself goes on these “see how erudite I am, crammed full or arcane knowledge?” jags all the time, and frankly, they annoy the shit out of me because they’re about as subtle and witty as a sledge hammer. If you love tango, you get immersed in it and quickly learn what a bandoneón is – if you don’t, there’s no earthly reason why you should know what it is.
If you’re a tango afficionado, this isn’t even remotely amusing, and if you aren’t, you’re left feeling stupid and annoyed. It scored a big fat goose egg with both camps, so why do it? No reason – except that it shows off (yup) the wonderfulness that is Brooke McEldowney.
Poteet
August 28th, 2009 at 7:19 pm
# 119 ladadog — You are so right — Tenniel has it nailed. Almost makes me wonder if Barreto had the Queen in mind.
boojum
August 28th, 2009 at 7:20 pm
seismic-2 @ 127: Regarding Jeff Keane — But… isn’t Family Circle itself one of “his family’s shitty hand-me-downs”?
Poteet
August 28th, 2009 at 7:23 pm
# 141 curlyfries — Thank you. I am going to remember The Wonderfulness That Is Brooke McEldowney as TWTIBM (Twittybum) so I can snarl it to myself occasionally when I see 9CL.
boojum
August 28th, 2009 at 7:24 pm
I have, of course, been Cleansed of McEldowney. So I ain’t checking for myself. But if he’s going on about the bandoneon, I will only point out that he’s done it before. It was unamusing then.
The poor poppet does like his shiny little words.
curlyfries
August 28th, 2009 at 7:27 pm
#140 Poteet, at least you got some exorcise this week!
Sounds like your attacker was woefully ignorant of the basics of the Galilee region. BTW, they have an amazing dairy industry – you should see if your local supermarket carries Cheeses of Nazareth.
Katya
August 28th, 2009 at 7:30 pm
#120 — E. Nonny Mouse:
Well, I guess you knew I was going to have to reply to you, didn’t you?
I don’t really know where to start. I admit that I’m a bit angry, and I also feel you misunderstood my post. However, I don’t want to turn into a bitch here, so I’m going to stay calm.
Why don’t we go through your message to me step by step, and I’ll try to defend myself. Since you’re not stupid (sorry; that was catty, but I needed to let off just the merest bit of steam), hopefully you’ll get what I mean. You obviously don’t have to agree with me, but perhaps you will gain a better understanding of where I was coming from with that post.
1.) I most certainly was not accusing anyone here of being stupid and failing to understand the (definitely stupid) “joke.” Anyone who has read my postings over the last few months must know that I admire all of you very much for your high intelligence and creative wittiness. I know that I myself am intelligent, but harbor no delusions that I could ever be as snarkily clever as the lot of you.
In fact, if you all weren’t so smart and entertaining, I woulda been outta here long ago. In my opinion, there’s not too much intelligence to be found on the Internet, and when one combines that with a great sense of humor, well, what could be better?
2.) I was in no way “stomp(ing) all over everyone else’s snark” in my post. What I meant when I said that the format the snarkiness took in regard to Family Circus today had been “worked to death” was really a way of complimenting all the previous posters; I didn’t have any good snark to add. Got that? (Sorry again; releasing just a tad more steam…)
3.) When I stated that I didn’t think the style of snarkiness used was particularly original, I was referring specifically to The Comics Curmudgeon. Yeah, I admit it. I adore this blog, but sometimes I feel that the same old way of being funny, insulting to the various comics, etc. is used over and over and over again. It’s all extremely clever, granted, but it gets old after awhile, at least to me. If one is intelligent, one realizes that there is more than one way of being funny. There are innumerable ways to be a clever, witty writer.
You wrote more to me in your post, but I think what I have said above covers it as well.
Wow. I sure never thought that what I considered just another innocuous posting was going to generate such an angry response.
mollificent
August 28th, 2009 at 7:31 pm
#135 curlyfries: *applause* Thank you for defending Ewan’s, er, manhood. Anyone who’s seen more than two of his movies (at least the early ones) can attest to the size of his sporran. :D
Speaking of which, while we’re on the subject of Ewan…I just watched the trailer for his upcoming movie “The Men Who Stared At Goats” (True Fable take note!) and at one point George Clooney says to Ewan, “I am a Jedi Warrior!” The ensuing look on Ewan’s face is priceless. :D
Katya
August 28th, 2009 at 7:35 pm
#140 — Poteet:
Well, you do have a wonderful way with language, so I’m sure you presented a very convincing point of view.
But, wow, that woman sounds like a serious nutjob. You’re right — you are much better off here! :)
mollificent
August 28th, 2009 at 7:38 pm
Incidentally: http://www.apple.com/trailers/independent/themenwhostareatgoats/
Katya
August 28th, 2009 at 7:38 pm
#146 — curlyfries:
Great pun! Ha, ha, ha!
Niall
August 28th, 2009 at 7:38 pm
140. Poteet: I am so glad I was home when I read that because I seriously needed a hearty laugh, and if I had been at work, I swear half the (huge) floor would have heard me. (snickers) Oh, you had an interesting time, that’s for sure… “Cunning use of language”? We say that about you here too – as a high compliment!!
mollificent
August 28th, 2009 at 7:43 pm
Clearly, Poteet’s nemesis was taught by this song’s protagonist:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uIwiPsgRrOs
seismic-2
August 28th, 2009 at 7:44 pm
#143 boojum – Yeah, that was pretty much the point that I was trying to make (but not well enough, I suppose). Maybe Jeff himself could have made it more explicit, by making it Bill rather than Thel who handed Jeffy the pants. With a King Features Syndicate contract rolled up in the hip pocket, of course.
Katya
August 28th, 2009 at 7:46 pm
#141 — curlyfries:
“The wonderfulness that is Brooke McEldowney,” indeed. In his dreams.
The guy is a pretentious, pompous twit. I know I’ve said that more than once here, but in my opinion, it can’t be reiterated often enough.
#144 — Poteet:
“Twittybum”! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! Great!
bats :[
August 28th, 2009 at 7:48 pm
130. Niall: and you thought you never learn anything from the comics…Mark Trail yet!
140. Poteet: oh, please tell me (even if you have to lie) that you agreed with your chat buddy and replied, “Yes, I am a rather cunning linguist”.
Yeah, old but reliable.
146. curlyfries: and blessed are the cheesemakers.
148. mollificent: Trainspotting…yep. The Pillow Book…yep. Velvet Goldmine…yep. (Haven’t seen Young Adam, but I hear that’s another yep. Nor have I seen the unexpurgated Star Wars prequels…but Ewan’s kit couldn’t hurt!)
AeroSquid
August 28th, 2009 at 7:52 pm
Marmaduke: I’m gonna say it….here goes……MEALS ON WHEELS !!!!!
AhClem
August 28th, 2009 at 7:53 pm
#140 Poteet -
Tht explains the faint brimstone odor that has been wafting northward from central Iowa lately.
Niall
August 28th, 2009 at 7:57 pm
153. mollificent: Thank you for the video – I just had to listen to “What if the Beatles were Irish” and snickered muchly. I’m half-Irish and it’s hilarious. :)
Niall
August 28th, 2009 at 7:58 pm
157. AeroSquid: although it’s a riff on the cliché, I have to admit it was so obvious I hadn’t seen it. Well done!
mollificent
August 28th, 2009 at 8:00 pm
Re: “What If The Beatles…” That’s the video that got me into Roy…it showed up on the “related” list for one of my harp videos. I then spent about three hours watching everything of his I could get my hands on. I’ve actually done a few covers of his songs on the same channel as the “Tomorrow” video. He’s a hell of a nice guy. :)
curlyfries
August 28th, 2009 at 8:02 pm
#156 bats:[, what a friend we have in cheeses.
AeroSquid
August 28th, 2009 at 8:03 pm
160 Niall: It was like finding a winning $2 Lotto ticket on the ground after everyone had already stepped over it to avoid H1N1.
Dee
August 28th, 2009 at 8:08 pm
FC: Once I got past the horror that is Jeffy’s thighs (it wasn’t easy), I started wondering at the implications of this strip. I have to wonder if Jeffy honestly believed that “My Brother’s Clothes” was a brand name, and that all his clothes came from a store. But eventually, his feeble mind realized that he doesn’t own anything that he hadn’t seen Billy wearing. Billy’s glee at Jeffy’s distress reveals much–perhaps he was the one who helped Jeffy come to this realization in the first place. Before long, he’ll probably take great pleasure in telling Jeffy that Santa doesn’t exist.
MolyBendum
August 28th, 2009 at 8:09 pm
#101 Dingo – Nice. “Fruhlinger me ’til the cows come home” is fucking outstanding. I’m glad someone was able to roll up all the over the top gayity in GT into one, tight, fudge-packed story. I agree you should have gotten more accolades on that one.
AeroSquid
August 28th, 2009 at 8:15 pm
Something familiar about today’s Mark Trail. What’s that Mr. Water Tower ? Tell us !:
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2467/3865612469_22284f6781_o.jpg
AeroSquid
August 28th, 2009 at 8:26 pm
Speaking of the current Mark Trail story arc: That town of the perimeter of the Lost Forest…..Is it called Lost City ? Lostville ? Losten Heights ? From the architecture, I would say that it resembles Mayberry and is forever stuck in the early sixties; it’s most popular store ‘Kooky Khaki Korner’.
Katya
August 28th, 2009 at 8:29 pm
#156 — bats :[ :
You say to Poteet that that clever play on words is “old but reliable.” It’s new to me, and funny, too!
Where have I been all this time that I’ve never come across that one? :)
AeroSquid
August 28th, 2009 at 8:31 pm
I’m changing Katya’s name to Amelia. Where’s the button to do that ? Josh ?
Katya
August 28th, 2009 at 8:37 pm
#165 — MolyBendum:
Dingo absolutely should have gotten more accolades for his story. Fantastic writing.
So read it above, everyone, and show him some love!
Katya
August 28th, 2009 at 8:53 pm
Dear Niall,
You speak French, you are half-Irish, you tell me I’m a good role model for my sons and…you defend me against vicious attacks? What are you, perfect?
You are my hero for the day, and I hope you can feel that love I’m sending your way! :)
AeroSquid
August 28th, 2009 at 8:58 pm
Meanwhile:
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2611/3866476422_6bae0d14b7_o.jpg
Brick Bradford
August 28th, 2009 at 9:18 pm
Dingo #44 Actually a baboon could write Mary Worth in the dark.
Uncle Lumpy
August 28th, 2009 at 9:32 pm
Jesus® bubble gum — it’s the King of the chews!
Dingo
August 28th, 2009 at 9:33 pm
Brick, has anyone ever seen Moy or Giella? Maybe one does.
sugarpie
August 28th, 2009 at 9:33 pm
FCircus Or, maybe the Keanes have decided to take Ziggy’s offer seriously? With retirement looming and knowing that the real money is in legacy strips, Zig needs an heir. Without any reproductive organs, and his complete failure at meiosis and binary fission, the Zig decides to purchase a tot to insure a future revenue stream.
The Keanes, no geniuses, but possesed of a crude pragmatism, decide that Jeffy (the dimmest bulb in the Keane’s floor lamp and least likely to be missed) is the most disposable of the bunch. Thel is simply preparing the little nodule for his transfer to Zigland and the world of major dollars and pants-free, gentle humor. Each journey begins with one small step so, of course, Ziggy’s first task will be to remove Jefffy’s genitals.
E. Nonny Mouse
August 28th, 2009 at 9:39 pm
@147/171 Katya, I think you misunderstood my post. It wasn’t an “angry response” and I wasn’t being “vicious”. I really tried to be polite about it. My point was that if you didn’t enjoy the direction the Family Circus comments were taking, that’s fine, you don’t have to participate. But to say they’d been “worked to death” wasn’t complimentary to anyone. I feel if you don’t have any snark to add, it isn’t cool to diss the previous writers or criticize their style, or try to kill it for other mudgeons who come on later and want to have fun with it. If you don’t care for some comments, ignore them. If you do like them, applaud. That’s all. If you think I’m being “vicious”, sorry. It also isn’t necessary to let off any more “steam” by responding, either. Peace out.
eek-a-mouse
August 28th, 2009 at 9:45 pm
171 I’m not so sure it (post 120) was a ‘vicious’ attack, considering the tone of your post 92. Regardless of that, Niall is always a gentleman and there are precious few of those around these days!
eek-a-mouse
August 28th, 2009 at 9:46 pm
Sorry, 177 already replied. I’ll stay out of it now.
The Enemy
August 28th, 2009 at 9:54 pm
#141, #145
And, of course, gams. The only thing Brooke loves more than showing how many words he knows is gams gams gams gams.
AeroSquid
August 28th, 2009 at 10:01 pm
176. sugerpie: I feel uncomfortable with Jeffy being a replacement for Ziggy. Maybe when he get’s a little older and any hope of success dashed. Let’s just place him here for now:
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3443/3866582090_af1ebd9741_o.jpg
buckyswife
August 28th, 2009 at 10:05 pm
Catching up on comments and the miscellaneous kerfuffle, and I just have to say, Wow! So impressed by Aviatrix, bats :[, and spacemika for the fab Mark Trail Bingo concept/boards! If only I didn’t have those darned papers to grade tomorrow—I could Bingo Mark Trail to my heart’s content!
132 Niall: I’m having the same Firefox issue; it just started a day or so ago. Weird. (I’ve started opening links in a new window instead.)
curlyfries
August 28th, 2009 at 10:05 pm
#180 The Enemy, Brooke loves androgenous jazz hands, too. And all the guys’ gams are just like the gals’ – pink, fleshy and hairless. And except for Seth, all the men seem to sport child-bearing hips, too.
I will never go to New Hampshire for this reason.
sugarpie
August 28th, 2009 at 10:14 pm
Aerosquid 181 Yikes! Hadn’t even thought of that particular purgatorio as an intermediate step before the horror of eternal Ziggitude. I’ve made a bet with myself on what Jeffy will do with that carrot.
Aviatrix, bats:[ , and especially Spacemika You all are the best! I’m going
to sneakback into the office tomorrow and print out all the images on extra glossy, extra expensive photo paper. The folks down at the VFW hall are going to enjoy MT bingo as a change of pace-I guarantee it! Or else…Jumper
August 28th, 2009 at 10:14 pm
“Turns Out It Gets Worse” heh, indeed:
http://jumpersbloghouse.blogspot.com/2009/08/of-course-its-eerie-thats-point.html
buckyswife
August 28th, 2009 at 10:18 pm
MW: In my imagination, Mary Worth, Inc. (Platitudes, and More!) has been infiltrated by a cadre of of mid-century nihilists and cynics. Hence Mary’s expression in panel one. The counter-Worthians managed to draw her face and even create her dialogue, but then Moy & Giella caught the error just in time and were able to write over “Connections? You may try to connect, but you will die alone, hunched over a half-baked casserole.”
JP: Also in my imagination, this strip will now degenerate into slapstick and farce, as Rocky comes storming out of the woods, twigs and leaves hanging from his person like Beetle Bailey in camouflage, and comically beats Big Pussy Bonpensiero (slumming after The Sopranos) about the head and shoulders as he tries to wriggle free of the barbed wire, and then chases Photog2 around the car in some Benny-Hill-esque scene, screaming, “You dadburned pepperonis!” Hilarity, of course, will ensue.
SM: Perhaps Spidey and Luann can join to form a crime-fighting due, with the special power of noting the obvious.
MT: It’s hard for a man to hold his head high when his failures are broadcast from the local water tower.
AeroSquid
August 28th, 2009 at 10:19 pm
184. sugarpie: At least Jon gives him some privacy.
curlyfries
August 28th, 2009 at 10:20 pm
#182 buckyswife, when you said, “I could Bingo Mark Trail to my heart’s content!” *gulp* You aren’t using “Bingo” the same way Dingo (37) used “Fruhlinger,” are you?
AeroSquid
August 28th, 2009 at 10:25 pm
187. Me: Well. At least for the most part:
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3238/3865845289_f252c6f920_o.jpg
Farley's Revenge
August 28th, 2009 at 10:25 pm
There’s something horribly awry with my life when I’m too busy to read the daily comics. I finally had time to read them over dinner, instead of chatting with the spouse. One must have one’s priorities in place, after all.
Let me tell the world, anticipation didn’t make Jeffy’s pasty, kneeless legs funny or cute. I doubt there are enough drugs or alcohol in the world to pull off that feat.
buckyswife
August 28th, 2009 at 10:27 pm
“crime-fighting DUO” cripes.
Incidentally, has everyone in Charterstone had his or her jaws wired shut? Yesterday, Toby was trying to consume that strawberry by jamming it against her teeth (“People say these taste good, but I just don’t get it!”), and today, we have Adrian and Adrian’s Replacement Beau apparently jamming their teeth together, too; you can practically hear the clacking noise (“People say that kissing is supposed to be fun, but I just don’t get it!”).
I suppose that in a world where a chick in a white one-piece is specialty porn, any form of open mouth would cross the firmly drawn lines of decency.
buckyswife
August 28th, 2009 at 10:29 pm
188 curlyfries: Thank you. You just made my brain go to a very scary place. Luckily, my effective repression mechanisms kicked in just as I got to the fourth button on the neatly pressed khaki shirt.
Niall
August 28th, 2009 at 10:31 pm
171. Katya: Why thank you. :) I’m not perfect, as I’m a little too weird in places, and a giant procrastinator. Hopefully I can find someone who views other things as plusses mounting to more than the minuses. (I need to work more on my massages, for example.) And the attack wasn’t vicious. :)
174. Uncle Lumpy: You should be both pelted and ‘plauded for that.
176. sugarpie: Snip, chop or rip?
177. E Nonny Mouse: Ah! I see it’s merely semantics tripping us all up. :) I didn’t find “worked to death” to be dissing the posters, but as a very polite and personal commentary on an oft-repeated style. The rest of her post made it clear she didn’t find it offensive, so it was a little surprising to find your response to it. But it looks clear to me that your use of “kill it for other mudgons” or “if you don’t care for some comments” is not meant as derogatory, it’s just the way you phrase things. I think it’s pretty clear when someone on the blog actually flames or attacks someone else, and this definitely hasn’t happened; both just seem to attach slightly different values to similar expressions. Thus slight miscommunication. I think the matter’s pretty done now…
178 Eek-a-mouse: Why thank you! I swear, you’re all going to make me blush, oh my! *fans self*
188. curlyfries: we all seem to be joshing a bit now and then…
189. AeroSquid: I think you shoudl rename yourself to AeroSquick… and that’s a compliment. :)
AeroSquid
August 28th, 2009 at 10:32 pm
193. Niall: Noted ! =D
Farley's Revenge
August 28th, 2009 at 10:33 pm
#129QueekM/b>
Yay! Not-so-random Tom Lehrer reference!
Farley's Revenge
August 28th, 2009 at 10:34 pm
Well, hell. That wasn’t supposed to happen.
sugarpie
August 28th, 2009 at 10:42 pm
Buckyswife, 191 Maybe they’ve all decided the only way to escape having to jam a salmon square down the old pie hole is to undergo a ‘Charterstone’-the jaw wiring proceedure that’s all the craze in Santa Royale.
I know I’d consider a diet of potato-aide and tongueless make out sessions a trifling price for avoiding any and all of Mary’s pool party delicacies. (Of course all these ‘Charterstone’s are cutting into the tips of the dancers at the Santa Royale franchise of Gigi’s Cabaret. Eh, nothing’s perfect.)
Poteet
August 28th, 2009 at 10:44 pm
# 101 Dingo — Beg pardon. I sometimes don’t read GT snarks because as a sports ignoramus, I often don’t understand that strip when it shows up here, which is the only time I read it.
I should have known your story would pose no such problems. My congratulations on your vivid prose. I’ll remember that tango-instructor line whether I want to or not:-).
buckyswife
August 28th, 2009 at 10:51 pm
sugarpie: Actually, depending on whom the tongue in question belonged to (Mary? Jeff? Wilbur?), I’d probably put “tongue-filled make-out sessions” on my “things to avoid” list.
Believe me, the Gigi’s gals are pretty darned grateful that ol’ Jeff “Flicker” Cory now keeps his tongue to himself!
Poteet
August 28th, 2009 at 10:53 pm
# 146 curlyfries — HAHAHAHA!
# 149 Katya — Thank you kindly. I’m now hoping she just had a very, very bad day. And I hope to heaven (or wherever) that I never have a day quite that bad.
# 152 Niall — Glad you were amused — now we’re even for your Rusty memory card story.
Now that it’s the next day, I realize I could have said something like “If I were really Satan, would I be wasting time here with you? I’d have much bigger fish to fry. So to speak. MUAHAHAHA!” But at the time, I was busy thinking “Lady, I am so glad you don’t really know anything about me except that I can sometimes spell.”
Katya
August 28th, 2009 at 10:57 pm
#177 — E. Nonny Mouse:
Please don’t try to tell me whether to respond to you or not. I see that you desire the last word, and that is your motivation for suggesting that I not let off any more “steam.”
I don’t want this to get out of control or get into any fights. I am a nice person, and you may very well be, also.
I acknowledge freely that you did not attack me in a “vicious” manner. I apologize for saying that, and I did not even mean it. I was simply praising Niall to the heavens and it just came out like that. Sorry — my mistake.
However, I do not feel that it is your place to determine whether my comments fit your idea of political correctness on this site or not. I do see your original comment to me as somewhat angry, and now you seem to continue to be displeased with the manner in which I conduct myself here.
I wish to emphasize (again — sigh…) that I meant absolutely no disrespect to any poster on this blog. In fact, if you go back and read the post which so has attracted your ire, you will see that I specifically state that I enjoyed everyone else’s snark on today’s Family Circus. Maybe you missed where I wrote that.
It seems that I am unable to convince you of my innocent intentions, but I very sincerely hope that others here know and believe that I meant no harm.
Again, I’m flabbergasted. I thought my comment was pretty much a throwaway one, and you get all bent out of shape. Oh, well. Go figure.
Let’s drop it now, okay? I’m sorry that I (unintentionally) offended you.
So peace out to you as well.
Poteet
August 28th, 2009 at 11:02 pm
# 153 mollificent — That does it. I’m going to figure out a way to see YouTube even on this connection. I’m tired of missing the fun.
# 156 bats — Dang. *kicking self*
# 158 AhClem — That, or the mass overindulgence here in corn on the cob:-).
Katya
August 28th, 2009 at 11:04 pm
#193 — Niall:
You are a very wise man, and an excellent mediator. In regard to my little set-to with E. Nonny Mouse, I think you are absolutely correct and very rational.
I hope Mr./Ms. Mouse reads what you have written as well, and we can both calm down now and get over it. :)
Farley's Revenge
August 28th, 2009 at 11:26 pm
That sounds like a very unpleasant plumbing fix: “I’ll need to jam a salmon square down the old pie hole, then pour some potato-ade after to clear up all the clogged meddling. That’s gonna run you $400, maybe $500, since it’s such a messy clean up, what with all the aphorisms and bad dialogue spraying all over the walls.”
Dingo
August 28th, 2009 at 11:27 pm
Katya, I think the two of you need a nice long sit in bathtubs outdoors. At least four hours.
Poteet
August 28th, 2009 at 11:28 pm
MW — Get a room.
Crank — How about a week of Crank straining on the stool? It might be more amusing.
bats :[
August 28th, 2009 at 11:28 pm
176. sugarpie: well, there apparently already is some confusion
queek
August 28th, 2009 at 11:31 pm
200: Poteet, just link the idiot to Sinfest, and tell him you are Fuschia. ;-)
buckyswife
August 28th, 2009 at 11:31 pm
207 bats :[ —Ha! That’s just the image I needed to send myself off to bed with! (Or, um, maybe not…..)
buckyswife
August 28th, 2009 at 11:32 pm
204 Farley’s Revenge: Oh, and THAT is definitely not the image I needed to head to bed with (although it did make me laugh).
Katya
August 28th, 2009 at 11:38 pm
#205 — Dingo:
Well, if ol’ Mouse there is a male, I might consider it.
So what would that be called? “Make-up sex”?
Thanks for lightening up the situation. :)
sugarpie
August 28th, 2009 at 11:39 pm
bats :[ Faulknerian! For God’s sake, I hope that the FCC isn’t monitoring the CC.
Farley’s Revenge Deal!
queek
August 28th, 2009 at 11:46 pm
212: not the freekin’ FCC?
bats :[
August 28th, 2009 at 11:49 pm
Better the FCC than if the FAA were monitoring CC…we’d be sunk with all the Marmaduke commentary.
Mooncattie
August 28th, 2009 at 11:54 pm
Very late to all this, as I’m home sick today. Not missing my home or anything, just coughing a lot and after two weeks decided to seek medical attention. Now I have a nice bottle of something to snort up my nostrils. Oh goody! *cough*
Y140 Poteet – You wrote ‘hedgehog’! Co-incidently, voted the Number One joke at this year’s Edinburgh Fringe:
Hedgehogs – why can’t they just share the hedge?
Well, it’s funnier when Sir Sean Finnery tells it.
#37 Dingo – Brilliant! In your finest tradition of tear-bringing alternate takes that immeasurably improve the originals.
MW – Just think! If that had been Chinbeard on the bench, wouldn’t this be the most awesome start to a Mary Worth storyline ever? At least, since Chester the Dog? OK, Aldo? Oh well, lowered expectations again. At first glance, I thought they were Larry and Del, moving their fully-clothed mating dance to an outdoor park bench. At least we’re done with them.
I shall join the chorus of applause for mollificent, her life and times, her music, her snarks, and especially her new car! (no problem, I can edit that out in Preview) Perhaps I can be Hubby #2, or #3 if Niall has already beaten me to the threshold. Alas, I’ve never heard of Lemon Drops, the alcoholic kind…what are they? Are they good for coughing fits. Is there any alcohol that isn’t?
MT – Oooooh! Guy with really weird facial hair is saying something sort of negative! Evil! Pointing honourable but naive young husband and father in the wrong direction! *There’s a Punch for us, Somewhere a Punch for us*
True Fable
August 28th, 2009 at 11:57 pm
I am reminded of the “Aldo Syndrome” from a couple of years ago, where there were so many repeated comments about how much Aldo “looked just like Captain Kangaroo!” that it became weary for some to see it noted once more.
However, Robert Osbourne on Turner Movie Classics had a great quote from someone, some famous actor I can’t recall who now, paraphrased here: “If you have never seen a film before, then it is new to you.”
So yeah; kids who read the comics for the first time in their young lives will laugh because they are not as jaded as some ol’ goat roper from Greater Metropolitan Roopville. And jokes made here for the 100th time, might be the first time someone’s seen such a comment before, and it’s funny as hell to them, but maybe not so much for a 100th viewer. But because we are all individuals at different locations and different access to different things at different times in life, give and take is to be expected among friends.
So what we can take from all that, is this: It’s all good.
Joe Blevins
August 29th, 2009 at 12:00 am
The art in this Momma is an eye-straining optical illusion. At first glance, I thought Francis was lying on his stomach and that his knees were bent, somewhat replicating Uma Thurman’s pose from the Pulp Fiction poster.
But as it turns out that he’s lying on his back. His head is somehow turned completely backwards, and what I thought were his shins are actually his enormous, reptilian feet — which somehow meet his legs (which actually do not have knees) at an alarmingly acute angle. I guess those dots are supposed to be his nipples and navel, but it’s difficult to discern them as such since there are identical little dots all around him on the ground.
In the interest of saying one nice thing about the artwork in Momma, I do like the way Francis’ nipples and navel form a sort of confused, disoriented face in panel 2.
Katya
August 29th, 2009 at 12:07 am
And on a completely different note, here’s something I’ve been considering today:
So Josh is going on vacation this weekend, right? And so, as he warned us, we might not be receiving any new commentary from him until Monday, oui?
However, he mentioned that there is a possibility of rain wherever he and his lovely wife are going and that, if it does rain, we might be hearing from him, even if he’s grumpy about the weather.
So my question is this, and please think carefully before you answer:
Do we wish happiness and sunny skies for their weekend, sacrificing our desires for his, or…
Do we selfishly pray for rain, so that we may get our CC fix?
Please discuss, if you wish. :)
Dingo
August 29th, 2009 at 12:07 am
Think how much more Caravaggio could have produced if he had chucked the oils and just painted in black and white like the creator of Momma.
alamo
August 29th, 2009 at 12:09 am
# Poteet says:
August 27th, 2009 at 1:18 am
# 223 alamo — When a friend’s cat caught a bat years ago, her vet was concerned about a possible bite and rabies until it was confirmed that the cat was vaccinated, just fyi. Don’t know if the concern was justified.
no rabies.
cat is fine.
had his shots.
bat is dead.
bat should have been vaccinated against cats.
ps – this is the second one he has caught inside our house in two years. he was not allowed to keep either one and our puss is pissed over not getting to keep this pest.
and at last this post shall soon have passed. amen.
Dingo
August 29th, 2009 at 12:12 am
Headline: Pouting Puss Pissed Purloined Pest Possible Promulgator
Laziestmanonmars
August 29th, 2009 at 12:14 am
Today’s Momma is much funnier if you ignore the poorly lettered blather, and imagine Momma pointing out women’s Mons Venus bulges to Francis.
mollificent
August 29th, 2009 at 12:20 am
#215 Mooncattie! Hope you feel better. A Lemon Drop would probably do wonders for you…all that citrus, you know! (Plus the vodka would kill any lingering germs…) However, not sure you should be mixing it with whatever you’re snorting. Wait, that came out sounding kinda weird…
Thanks for the praise…as always, you’re too kind! As for me, well, you know what they say…always chaste, seldom caught. ;)
P.S. Also, you know what Terry Pratchett would say about hedgehogs! (though once Rex Morgan’s on the scene, all bets are off.)
Poteet
August 29th, 2009 at 12:24 am
# 208 queek — Interesting idea. That might have gotten me consigned to the outer darkness of the outer darkness.
# 220 alamo — Thanks — very glad there’s no need to be concerned about kitty.
mollificent
August 29th, 2009 at 12:40 am
Happiness and sunny skies, of course! Josh deserves it.
Katya
August 29th, 2009 at 12:42 am
Aviatrix! A female commercial pilot! I bow in respect to you! :)
Katya
August 29th, 2009 at 12:44 am
#225 — mollificent:
Absolutely! And maybe we can all get some things done this weekend that we’ve been neglecting.
Or am I only speaking for myself?
eek-a-mouse
August 29th, 2009 at 12:47 am
201 Nominated for PACOTW! (Passive-Agressive Comment Of The Week)
Poteet
August 29th, 2009 at 12:47 am
8/29 MW — Oh lord. Looking at that second panel, I hear it clearly….Up, up, with people…you meet ‘em wherever you go…up, up, with people…they’re the best kinda folks I know…
boojum
August 29th, 2009 at 12:52 am
MW: Serious question — are we sure that’s Adrian and Detective Sal Monella in the final frame? I confess that I could only tell Adrian apart from other MW figures by her shape-shifting clothing, and it’s been a while since we saw her last. (Like many of you probably, I was sort of hoping we had seen the last of her.)
Given the general artwork of the Worthiverse, can we be sure these aren’t two entirely new, but equally disappointing, characters? HOW CAN ANYONE BE EXPECTED TO TELL?
mollificent
August 29th, 2009 at 1:02 am
227 Katya: yeah, neglecting while reading this site! LOL! (Speaking for myself, that is).
Also…still speaking to Katya…I just read #228. My truly heartfelt advice to you? Ignore, ignore, ignore. Take the high road. Don’t feed the trolls. When all else fails, take this very wise XKCD panel to heart:
http://xkcd.com/386/
Believe me…you, Josh and the entire CC community (trolls excepted) will be happier. ;)
Katya
August 29th, 2009 at 1:12 am
#228 — eek-a-mouse:
Oh, give me a freakin’ break. You seem like the passive-aggressive one to me.
What’s the big deal, anyway? I have explained myself over and over. I have apologized, sincerely, for whatever may have seemed offensive to some. All over one rather bland comment. What do you want — my firstborn child?
Do you just live to start arguments online? And why are you keeping up this attack against me personally?
I’m done with this issue. I hope you don’t attempt to continue it, but unfortunately I have a feeling you will. Have fun lashing out from behind the anonymity of your computer screen.
By the way, I think you and E. Nonny Mouse are one and the same.
Sorry if you don’t like what I just said, but I can’t be nice forever. And I didn’t start any of this.
This is ridiculous.
Aviatrix
August 29th, 2009 at 1:13 am
Grin, Katya: when I saw your reaction to AeroSquid’s profile I knew eventually you’d work your way down to me.
I’m not the glamorous, uniform, hat & stripes sort of commercial pilot. I’m the sort who is currently eating McDonalds take-out out in a Super-8 motel and using Shout wipes to try to get grease off her t-shirt, grease that got there from reaching inside the engine up to my shoulder making sure that everything was attached properly.
And I have to get up early tomorrow and work, so I won’t be calling the bingo game until late. Feel free to call your own squares for the ones on your card, and SpaceMica, yes your T & I columns are adjusted differently, but that shouldn’t bother anyone. I’m just agog at how beautiful the bingo cards are.
Katya
August 29th, 2009 at 1:19 am
#231:
Oh, mollificent, I read your lovely advice to me just after I fell into the troll’s trap. I’m only human, and I’m feeling attacked for no good reason.
You are right, of course, but it’s hard not to feel the need to defend oneself.
I definitely don’t want this thing to continue, though. I really don’t know what this person’s issue is.
Thank you for your kind and supportive words. I’m feeling better already. :)
BenG
August 29th, 2009 at 1:19 am
FW: So… he’s afraid Bull is going to beat up his daughter or something?
Katya
August 29th, 2009 at 1:28 am
#233 — Aviatrix:
So who cares about glamor? I respect you all the more for getting all greasy doing your careful preflight inspection!
You are definitely da woman!
Niall
August 29th, 2009 at 1:34 am
Katya: you can only be attacked on the net if you let them attack. :)
Citric
August 29th, 2009 at 1:37 am
MT: Is the alligator suicidal or homicidal?
Katya
August 29th, 2009 at 1:39 am
#237 — Niall:
Sage words from you once again, and I will try to keep them in mind. (I will also try to be a little thicker-skinned.)
Thanks for your advice. It is appreciated.
mollificent
August 29th, 2009 at 1:46 am
Niall: I’m suddenly picturing Katya, got up all in black pleather à la Carrie-Ann Moss in The Matrix, stopping trollish bullets with her mind and making them fall harmlessly to the floor before they can hit her. Tee hee…and I’ll leave you with that image. Sweet dreams!
Niall
August 29th, 2009 at 1:50 am
Woohoo! Friend staying over because she is at a late downtown party. I get snuggles tonight! :D
Saturday! (since I may not get much time to snark in the morning… ahem)
Apt 3G: Oh wow. Do many counselor patients come in and walk right into the face of people they don’t know? …well, actually, some might, if they’re there to work on their aggressiveness…
Beetle: ..I must be tired, I found this not exactly funny, but internally logical at least, and free of any subtext. Which, for Walker-browne LLC, is impressive. Credit where credit is due!
Blondie: Meta-humour?? Self-deprecation? Nice to see, if also unusual!
Dennis: ..just called his dad a worm, in his presence, and his dad doesn’t seem to mind? I can’t tell if that’s menacing if the victim is happy.
Dick Tracy: seriously, and I mean serioualy the top contender for bee-grinding 2009.
F Minus: You know, I’d actually like to see that!
Gil: Uh, Gil, his problem with you is that he’s done nothing but focus on those memories.
Parker: Well, nice to see one papparazzo is a consummate professional, always on the job.
Marm: I can make the joke.. that pretty much looks like a fursuit, yeah. And yeah, it’s only the food he’d be interested in. The problem will be eating it without taking off the head.
Mary Worth: AUUUUUGH avoid! Treacle alert!
My Cage: HAH! I weas only one week late!! :) As far as those two are concerned, that IS the beginning of their relationship. :) (*little dance of joy!!* why? because if Norm can find someone, it gives me hope.. :))
Pluggers: Pluggers also don’t think their time and labour are worth squash. I mean squat.
Sally Forth: the subtext in the back seat is quite enthusiastic, isn’t it?
Sly: Well, I forget who likes this feature, but Bonnie in a bikini is going to make one mudgeon very happy. :)
Katya
August 29th, 2009 at 2:06 am
#241 — Niall:
A “friend with benefits,” eh, Niall?
Have fun. You deserve it!
Niall
August 29th, 2009 at 2:15 am
239. Katya: it’s part of the lesson of dealing with things online. I still have to stop myself now and then. It’s sometimes difficult to figure out the trolls from the well-intentioned people actually trying to give advice, but if after two volleys there’s still no satisfaction, and it’s not exactly a very important topic, best to drop it… I once had a troll needle me to get my goat (apologies to True Fable), and it took four hours of whispers for me to lose my cool and insult him. He logged the whole thing and reposted in a place for such things, and all his friends actually took my side, saying if it took him four hours, then I was the winner by a clear margin. This I learned from someone else who was lurking on that site. I didn’t see that troll much around after that. :)
240. mollificent: Since I have no idea what Katya looks like, that’s safer than picturing you in such a leather outfit… *grins and waggles eyebrows*
242 Katya: Actually, it’s a no-longer-benefits. But still snuggles. And snuggles are always nice. :)
Katya
August 29th, 2009 at 2:16 am
#240 — mollificent:
Oh, Niall doesn’t need that image tonight!
And although I’m sure he appreciates your wishes for his sweet dreams, I’m not sure he’ll be doing much sleeping this evening…
He’ll be having way too good a time for such a mundane activity as sleep!
True Fable
August 29th, 2009 at 2:27 am
Menace Now don’t talk about your daddy like that, boy.
Edge of my teeth City Again I say, Ha ha Fuck You Tree Killer.
Children of the Circle I like how Thel’s staring at the windows as if she never even realized there were saints up there. Or why they weren’t wearing numbered jerseys.
Canadian Zombie Even at a relatively young age, Elly Patterson had a wide-load ass.
Scenes from Suburban Hell In Suburban Hell, having sex and cranking out children is the very reason it’s called suburban HELL. For every moment of pleasure, Hi will live an eternity of dull-eyed suffering aa a result of his wife’s Job Jar.
Fist O Justice Theater Because both bats :[ and spacemika’s Bingo cards are a little different and cover slightly different things, the game is doubly interesting! I got to score at least one block on both today! I am troubled that the little man in the middle panel appeared to be talking, and not the gator! Well, at least the gator was ginormous; that counts.
Mary, Bringr of Meddle Okay, so how is Cleancut McCop going to wind up being a dirty dog who breaks her heart and only Mary’s sage-and-arsenic advice can cure it? Mary’s got to have SOMETHING to meddle in.
I, Platypus These two are just the cutest lil ol’ couple! Let’s have some Action, Jackson!
RMMW Berna’s throwing off the Daggers of Alarm like a councilman throws off scruples.
S4th Ted’s tanning style is a lot like mine. Yeah, but I have normal sized hands!
The Amazing Jazz Hands and Wolverine A standoff in three dimensions? Oh PLEASE; this strip barely rates two dimensions.
Katya
August 29th, 2009 at 2:28 am
#243 — Niall:
Well, actually I made the probably stupid mistake of telling everyone here almost exactly what I look like (only forgot to mention the long-legged part). But I’m not going to repeat myself — you might get too excited. Ha, ha!
It all happened a few days ago, and led to a little back and forth for a while. Can’t remember who started it, but someone said she pictured me as Katya from “The Russia House,” with smoky eyes and draped in ermine. Might have been the beautiful mollificent who said that, now that I think about it.
Anyway, it was fun while it lasted. Check back a few threads and you can probably find the damning evidence of my utter conceit! :)
Niall
August 29th, 2009 at 2:32 am
246. Katya: I do seem to remember a little, yes. The ermine part sparks a memory. But yes, I will actually sleep!
..there she is!
Katya
August 29th, 2009 at 2:37 am
Well, I guess the lunatics, myself included, are now officially running the asylum!
Are you sure this is safe, Josh?
eek-a-mouse
August 29th, 2009 at 2:53 am
Gaaag!
True Fable
August 29th, 2009 at 2:57 am
Rex and Rover strips like the one today make me want to clear my throat and say, “Pardon us, but are we interrupting a tender moment between the two of you? Should we just let ourselves out?”
True Fable
August 29th, 2009 at 2:59 am
The Cockpit in the Forums is the place to take arguments. Please take them there.
curlyfries
August 29th, 2009 at 3:48 am
Meddle House: This is exceedingly disturbing. If Scott is so enraptured with formerly messy Adrian, why is he looking directly into my eyes with such intensity? And why do I all of a sudden want to go fishing?
Stanky Weens’n'beans: Yeah, Les, because every single detail in your wretched life is really all about reliving your inescapable high school past. Day after grinding motherfucking day. World without end, amen.
Mark Stale: Bob’s fist takes “Talk To The Hand” literally, and some numbnuts who never heard that old adage went and drained the swamp.
Too bad it never occurs to these log-lounging B-school dropouts that if they’re up to their asses in alligators and also have too many mouths to feed, one problem holds the solution to the other.
MolyBendum
August 29th, 2009 at 4:13 am
8/29
Baldo – Wise (adj.): 1. Able to judge what is true; 2. Learned; 3. Impudent; 4. Uncompromising ass kisser.
Red&Rover – “….Because you’re going to die waaaaay before me, Rover. And I’m going to have you stuffed and mounted next to my desk when I’m older. And when I’m 45, fat, broke, alone and suicidal, I will think back on this day right here and use this depressing memory of another wasted summer as the catalyst to pull the trigger.”
Speed Bump – “I like the idea of your ideas more than your actual ideas” is my new catch-phrase. Right after “Floss my otter”, which I continue to use almost daily.
Cathy – What, exactly…..in The Fuck….does Irving look back on in his miserable, cowed existence and consider to be a “proud accomplishment”?
FC – “Shut up Billy, or I’ll leave you with the priest again after church.”
Marm – I’ve been making “Marmaduke eats people” jokes about this strip for over 20 years. It’s no fun if they make it this damn easy. ~sigh~ Marmaduke and his new friend paused to give thanks for the bounty they were about to receive before beginning their first annual Bloody Picnic Rampage Feast.
Pluggers – …..stopped making jokes and started running exerpts from the Burpee Seed Catalog. And nobody noticed.
MolyBendum
August 29th, 2009 at 4:36 am
A3G – “I’ll review my notes…..Mmm-hmm. Ahh, I see. A transvestite. I’ll use my patented Brutal Anal Sex Reversion Therapy™ on him.”
Judge – #186 buckyswife, I see your Benny Hill chase-around-the-car coming. Now if someone would just step out of the woods with a banana cream pie and a bottle of seltzer, we’d be all set.
Gil – See ya later Marty, football’s coming on and nobody cares about baseball anymore.
Rex MMD – Geez I hope Peter’s banging some other broad and she goes back to the sleezy fly fishing outdoor writer and blows him in the back of his van. Now that’s good comic strip.
Baka Gaijin
August 29th, 2009 at 6:12 am
Cow and Boy: Cow’s ass makes almost the same noise as Wolverine’s claws ejecting. Whodathunkit?
Mark Trail: A story ripped from the headlines of today! Wait, what? You say that sales of alligator skins is down? I can’t believe it, I just can’t believe it. Mark Trail is wrong. I guess the next thing you’ll tell me is not to take marriage counseling tips from this comic.
Sally Forth: Sunburn? What sunburn?
Get Fuzzy: Those are great questions, Bucky. Who gets the bad luck if you whip a mirror at someone’s cranium and it breaks? Thomas Aquinas, where are you when we need you?
Baby Blues: Ewwwww. Does anyone else who’s cared for babies think that’s cute or funny?
Zits: Kids and their multitasking? Multitasking himself into a dead-end job at
McDonaldswherever Francis in Momma works.AeroSquid
August 29th, 2009 at 7:33 am
BB: Ah, Pvt Killer. The less threatening ‘Quagmire’ of this strip. Killer will be shedding his Korean War era fatigues all the way (note the hat) in the smallest hope that he will at least be able to masturbate in the General’s back yard.
Blondie: No, Dag. Blondie is hoping that your pride will KILL you. She knows that Dithers will eventually fire your napping ass and she needs that big insurance payout to expand her catering business with Tootsie. Remember that fantasy you had about Blondie & Tootsie and a tub of cream cheese ? Yeah. It’s already happened, but you and Herb weren’t invited.
Curtis: ‘T’aint’ ? Oh how folksy. Seriously Curtis, your ass belongs to Barry (except on Sunday).
FW: Sooooo. Les is worried that Bull is going to give her a ‘Super Atomic Wedgie’ if she fails parallel parking ?
PBS: Chi Chi lives in a van down by the river. I want a Chi Chi plushy, Stephan.
MyCage: Watch out, Norm ! That bag contains cat contraceptives that are effective against unnatural feline- platypus joinings.
Zits: It looks Jeremy is watching a Colombian snuff video on the laptop and porn on the iPhone ™.
MolyBendum
August 29th, 2009 at 7:45 am
#256 Aero, Sign me up for a Chi Chi Cheetah plushy too.
*I couldn’t tell if it’s supposed to be a mexican cheetah or if it’s just alliteration. In case it’s mexican, I’ll slap a Wise Latino t-shirt on it so I don’t feel so racist about it.
AeroSquid
August 29th, 2009 at 7:57 am
Brewster Rocket: And the stick shift is a little flaccid.
Garfield: Those are hits of acid, Jon. And you just absorbed the whole lot in your sweaty palm.
Preteena: Who names a strip after something that could get you in serious trouble if you Googled it wrong ?
</B'Shaft: Yeah. They are ‘fried’. Get it ? Munchies ?
Lockhorns: The ‘Getting to know you’ stage of the Lockhorn’s key parties are getting kinkier.
Marmaduke: Does anyone else see a giant mutated raccoon ? Doesn’t matter. Marm is just looking for some Ranch dressing for when he kills and eats it later.
Archie: “That red hair ? Again ? That penis ? Again ?”
H&L: Ha ! Hi is going to kill himself now. He could have dropped a note that said: “No fucking way ! I like my life ! Let’s have a lot of protected sex. And speaking of ‘jobs’…..”
FC: I think it’s a little too late for church, Thel. After all, you ARE satan’s vessel.
AeroSquid
August 29th, 2009 at 8:01 am
257. MolyBendum: Stephan’s addy !Theratandpig@aol.com
mr 12 oz can
August 29th, 2009 at 8:04 am
why do all men in mary worth wear orange suit jackets and all woman in mark trail wear some type of red shirt ? if they wanna make this current trail storyline good id have a gator chop off rustys foot or mark walk in on andy licking peanut butter off cherry
AeroSquid
August 29th, 2009 at 8:05 am
MT: “Say ! Have you met our dog, ‘Chum’ ?”
ChattyGenes
August 29th, 2009 at 8:08 am
#245 True Fable, re MARK TRAIL. I believe you may have missed the point of the panel, which is that the gator is…LISTENING!
It may not be a Bingo point but somehow it tickles me. I am now imagining that he will shortly be off to warn all his gator pals about what he heard.
AeroSquid
August 29th, 2009 at 8:12 am
262. ChattyGenes: That’s a stuffed gator. They use it for training their dog, ‘Chum’.
ChattyGenes
August 29th, 2009 at 8:21 am
#263 AeroSquid. LOL! But in my world, stuffed gators are ALIVE. You see, I’m an amateur puppeteer.
And you’ve just made me realize something. Mark Trail stories and characters would make fantastic puppet shows!
AeroSquid
August 29th, 2009 at 8:24 am
264. ChattyGenes: Kinda like PUNCH and Judy ?
Mela
August 29th, 2009 at 8:25 am
‘Shaft: So the whole time their kids were bitching about them being old, Rose & Ed were getting high? Wow. Score some points for them.
FW: Batiuk, as of now, now that your strip is a mire of misery and smirking non-humor, you are no longer allowed to revisit when your strip was actually funny and clever. Oh, and save that “sepia-tone photo = flashback” for Crankshaft, where it makes a lick of sense.
Gasoline Alley: Look, potato woman, you are both heavier than me and have had more time to flatten out your feet just by standing on them. I am a size 9 & a half. If you’re a size 7, then you will have painfully pinched rolls of your doughy flesh oozing over the top like a skin souffle, and unless your man has a very particular fetish, that is revolting. Or it could just be that the artist knows bupkiss about women’s shoe sizes.
Pluggers: Um… I’d buy that zucchini, Chicken Lady. But really – did someone at Burpee send in that suggestion as a stealth ad?
queek
August 29th, 2009 at 8:32 am
MC: canon attempt to sink the ’ship? (more of an Anchored Ship by the looks of it.
Niall, hope the snugglez were good for you. The world needs more snugglez.
also, one vote for Katya as the leather-clad, and one for mollificent in diaphanous robes ala a nymph of the Northwest. (ok, so its a lyre instead of a harp, but close enough!) ;-)
Talking Squirrel
August 29th, 2009 at 8:36 am
Baby Blues: Last night I read a story about a Tongan underwater volcano that blows yard-wide, glowing methane bubbles. And then today … this!
True Fable
August 29th, 2009 at 8:41 am
#265 AeroSquid – *rimshot!* They’ll be here all week, folks! Try the veal! Don’t forget to tip your waitress!
oh MAN we haven’t had a classic setup and line like that in a long, LONG time! Thanks, I needed that!
Waitress! Weak! VEAL!
AeroSquid
August 29th, 2009 at 8:42 am
268. Talking Squirrel: I saw something like that while on shore leave in Thailand. Not from a baby….just to clarify. I will never go to Thailand again.
AeroSquid
August 29th, 2009 at 8:44 am
269. True Fable: *bows to audience* If only posters had tip jars.
ChattyGenes
August 29th, 2009 at 8:45 am
#265 Yes! now that I think of it. Oh, the possibilities are WONDERFUL. The MARK TRAIL strip has exactly those qualities of ridiculousness and taking itself too seriously which leads naturally to humor. It’s the same reason Josh and his pals were able to dramatize it with such success a while back. (Does anyone have a link to that?)
Hmm…a new departure in puppeteering! I must think about this some more…
AeroSquid
August 29th, 2009 at 8:49 am
272. ChattyGenes: I await your interpretive Mark Trail Punchy Puppet show on YouTube: “Mark’s Punchy Fisty Day”.
Mary Worth Discussion Group
August 29th, 2009 at 8:53 am
I want to know why none of you supposed MW fans have asked about Drew! Is he still in Nam? wonder how many mini Drews are running around that Godforsaken Peace Village (tax shelter)?
AeroSquid
August 29th, 2009 at 8:54 am
274. Mary Worth Discussion Group: Last I heard he had been sharing a prison cell with Gary Glitter for a few weeks.
ChattyGenes
August 29th, 2009 at 8:59 am
#273 AeroSquid. I’ll seriously consider it. But first I would need some people puppets suitable for the human roles. Not to mention appropriate animals. Right now my cast consists of a panda, a toucan, a snake, a monkey, a buffalo, a baby tiger, a snail, two tiny sheep, and a wolf. And a Godzilla-like plushie creature who would have to play the gator–except that he’s permanently upright. Well, maybe that would add to the humor:-)
AeroSquid
August 29th, 2009 at 9:04 am
276. ChattyGenes: Sounds like the ‘Manger Babies’ from ‘King of the Hill’. J/K ! For Mark Trail puppets, you will need ALOT of khaki material, belted feminine hygiene pads and pomades.
True Fable
August 29th, 2009 at 9:04 am
#276 Chatty Genes – Mark Trail is such a cardboard character, I’d suggest you enlarge a picture of him, print it out, cut it out, paste it onto some cardboard and glue a stick to his ass*. Do the same for a couple of likely bearded guys and you’ve got a realistic show!
*Who knows, he’ll probably like that.
Talking Squirrel
August 29th, 2009 at 9:06 am
270 Aerosquid: Yeup, I think we better add another name to the CC Automatic Porno Name Generator: “Bubbles” Pattaya.
AeroSquid
August 29th, 2009 at 9:08 am
280. Talking Squirrel: Funny you should mention ‘Pattaya’. Navy vet ?
ChattyGenes
August 29th, 2009 at 9:09 am
#278 True Fable. THAT. IS. A GREAT IDEA! Rod puppets!
And what do you know? I just happen to have a bunch of as-yet-unused “rods” (paint stirrers) from a recent trip to the U.S.! ;-)
Anonymous
August 29th, 2009 at 9:11 am
#231 mollificent -
Just as Mary Worth often has some trite saying to fit any occasion, you usually come up with an XKCD link to fit the ongoing discussion. And I mean that in the best possible way — Randall is awesome.
Disclaimer: There is no way in hell I’m comparing you to MW!
AeroSquid
August 29th, 2009 at 9:12 am
281. ChattyGenes: You came to the shores of America for….paint stirrers ? What about freedom from political/religious repression ? Oh. Wait. Are you Canadian ?
AhClem
August 29th, 2009 at 9:12 am
#282 was me — damn cookies.
True Fable
August 29th, 2009 at 9:18 am
#282 anonymous Ah Clem – In other words, mollificent:Mary Worth = Family Circus:Noel Coward witticisms!
#283 AeroSquid – she is in Japan, a land know for its inability to mix paint. They also tend to write with paintbrushes, there’s a clue right there.
Yew know ah luv yew more’n mah luggage, Chatty doll. ;)
AeroSquid
August 29th, 2009 at 9:21 am
285. True Fable. So Desuka, True Fable Sama. Wakarimas !
Talking Squirrel
August 29th, 2009 at 9:22 am
280 Aerosquid: Naw, just a Hawaii boy whose dad was a Pearl survivor. Growing up in that culture I heard all the stories and was motivated to take a little Asian R&R at a less inhibited time in my life, to see if the tales were anything close to the truth. Boy howdy.
Having got all that out of my system, I’ve settled down to potato-ade samogon, the intertubes, and fantasizing about steam-operated paint stirrers fueled by switchgrass ethanol.
AeroSquid
August 29th, 2009 at 9:27 am
287. Talking Squirrel: Yeah. My g/f thinks I make up half the stories about the Far East. When I say: “Fine ! Let’s take a trip !” she panics at the thought of me leading her into a Thai Lady Boy club or something equally as terrifying. LOL. God bless your Dad !
professor fate
August 29th, 2009 at 9:30 am
FW: Maybe Les is upset because he finds the idea of a big burly man giving him a super atomic wedgie to be a huge turn on? And always did?
Luaan: Meteor strike like right now – they are all together. Only need one.
9CL: This week of mailing it in has been brought to you by the post office – remember mail early.
My Cage: Norm’s discription of how he would screw things up is a bit too close to home.for my comfort but it’s nice to know i’m not alone.
AeroSquid
August 29th, 2009 at 9:32 am
Speaking of Thailand: There is this bar in Phuket called ‘The Meddle Lady’. It’s full of Mary Worth cross-dressers that berate you for coming to Thailand.
ChattyGenes
August 29th, 2009 at 9:34 am
#283 AeroSquid. True Fable is right–I live in Japan. I’m an American woman who is married to a Japanese man. And my daughters DID learn to write with paint-brushes, in calligraphy classes in Japanese schools:-)
And you know some Japanese! Ii-desu-ne!
#285 True Fable. :-)
True Fable
August 29th, 2009 at 9:43 am
#286 AeroSquid – Dude. I’m from Greater Metropolitan Roopville; we barely speak proper English around here, much less understand cool stuff like Japanese. I mean, I can sing Sukiyaki but I don’t know what I’m singing about. Oooh, and I know the closing theme to Cowboy Bebop by heart. I think it says something about, “this show is so damn cool it’s the liquid nitrogen of animation.”
So until I can find a Japanese-to-English translator that actually WORKS, I will assume you are telling me to kindly take a seat and that the men in starchy white uniforms will take me off to the Nut Hatch at any moment.
And if so, I thank you! I could use a vacation.
AeroSquid
August 29th, 2009 at 9:44 am
291. Ii desu ney? Hai ! Sounds good. I was born in Naha, Okinawa and Japanese was my first language. My Mama-san (Hiroko) used to speak to me in Okinawan Japanese when I was two years old. When my parents brought me back to the states, my grandparents were shocked that I could’nt speak english. Then I got stationed in Misawa (Amori Prefecture) and the maids would laugh at me because I spoke with a female inflection. They set me straight. Like any language, if you don’t use it, you lose it. So right now I know enough to get around a bar and ask where the Toto is. =) I had to read Shogun recently just to stay in practice.
True Fable
August 29th, 2009 at 9:46 am
Chatty! Do I get to take a vacation?
I hope so; I can tell them at work, “Yes but AeroSquid SAID I could, and that’s good enough for me!”
Maybe that sentence alone will do the trick.
AeroSquid
August 29th, 2009 at 9:48 am
292. True Fable. Ichi-ban ! I love CB ! Have the whole set and alot of Yoko Kanno stuff. I memorized this and would sing along:
Aishite tato nageku niwa
Amari ni toki wa sugite shimatta
Mada kokoro no hokorobi o
Iyasenu mama kaze ga fuiteru
Hitotsu no me de asuo mite
Hitotsu no me de kino o mitsumeteru
Kimi no ai no yurikago de
Mo ichido yasuraka ni nemuretala
Kawaita hitomi de dareka naitekure
*THE REAL FOLK BLUES
Hontou no kanashimi ga shiritai dake
Doro no kawa ni sukatta jinsei mo warukuwanai
Ichido kiri de owarunara
Hipou ni michita zetsupouto
Wanaga shikakeraretelu kono CHANCE
Nani ga yokute warui no ka
COIN no omototo ula mita ida
Doredake ikire wa iyasereru no tarou
THE REAL FOLK BLUES
Hontou no yorokobi ga shiritai dake
Hikaru mono no subete ga mokon(?) to wa kagira nai
Also a fan of Ghost in the Shell.
True Fable
August 29th, 2009 at 9:53 am
#295 AeroSquid – That’s the one! I was singing that softly to myself walking down the hall at work once, and the next thing I knew, I was asked to sing “that quaint little Japanese folk song” for a couple of nurses.
I also have a keychain in the shape of the Japan islands. I told someone it was Japanese and she blinked and asked, “what does it say?” I guess I walked into that one.
True Fable
August 29th, 2009 at 9:56 am
“the Japan islands”. Geez, my ignorance is wearing no clothes today.
AeroSquid
August 29th, 2009 at 9:58 am
296. True Fable: The song sung to me by my maid:
Sakura, Sakura
tada maiochiru
itsuka umarekawaru……
Sakura, Sakura
yayoi no sora wa
miwatasu kagiri
kasumi ka kumo ka
nioi zo izuru
izaya izaya
mi ni yukan
(Cherry blossoms
just floating to the ground
believing one day they’ll be reborn..)
(Cherry blossoms, cherry blossoms,
The expanse of the spring sky
as far as I can see
Is it the fog, or else the clouds?
Their smell comes forth.
Now, now,
Let’s go look at them!)
ChattyGenes
August 29th, 2009 at 9:59 am
True Fable: I’m afraid he said, “Is that right! Mr. True Fable, I understand!
But yes, you may take a vacation. But not to the Nut Hatch. You gotta use it to come and visit me:-)
(Don’t worry about the money for the ticket; I’ll rig the lottery, or rob a bank, or something…)
ChattyGenes
August 29th, 2009 at 10:02 am
#298 AeroSquid. Your background is so cool! I had no idea! And I LOVE the song “Sakura,” and can sing it too.
I sang all kinds of Japanese songs to my girls when they were babies. I learned them from my husband’s mother and grandmother.
True Fable
August 29th, 2009 at 10:07 am
Oh yeah! – I guess I should do more than add embroidery to the thread, huh! Not that embroidery is a bad thing, not at all.
DontAskDontTell Sarge’s dumbfounded look in panel two is accurate for a fellow who has no idea why Killer would want to run out to see a girl in a bikini. Beetle with a jar of Astro-Glide, he would understand.
AeroSquid
August 29th, 2009 at 10:07 am
300. ChattyGenes: I miss Japan like you would’nt believe. My house looks like a Tokyo gift shop ! If I were’nt Gai’jin without businees there and attached, I would be a permanent fixture in a Roppongi watering hole.
Talking Squirrel
August 29th, 2009 at 10:11 am
Cherry blossoms. Now,
Let’s go look at them while get-
Ting blitzed on sake
AeroSquid
August 29th, 2009 at 10:13 am
304. Talking Squirrel: Oh.Oh. Oh. I see you’ve been to the Hirosaki Cherry Blossom Festival, too !
AeroSquid
August 29th, 2009 at 10:14 am
Hey ! I forgot ! This is a COMICS forum !
AeroSquid
August 29th, 2009 at 10:15 am
Maybe we should snark on the ultra-racist Terry and the Pirates strips !
ChattyGenes
August 29th, 2009 at 10:21 am
#301 Mr. Fable, you are quite correct to try to rein us in. *sigh* But embroidery is so much fun! :-)
I cannot think of a comic-related comment at the moment (good grief, this all started with a stuffed alligator in Mark Trail!), and I really should get to bed, so I’ll see you all tomorrow.
AeroSquid, I would like to know you better. Shall we think of a way to get in touch outside of CC?
Off to bed! (It’s about 11:20 pm here.) Oyasuminasai! (good night!)
TheDiva
August 29th, 2009 at 10:22 am
Cathy: In panel one, Irving answers his own question for us.
FW: I would think the benches at Montoni’s have a deep groove that conforms nicely to to contours of Les’ ass by now.
GT: “Bye, good luck with your vague and unidentified goals!”
MW: “And by that I mean I knew you were a gullible idiot who would fall for any man who fed you a line of hooey like this!”
Pluggers: Unfortunately, you’ll have to pay at least twenty dollars to get anybody to take it off your hands for you.
dreadedcandiru2
August 29th, 2009 at 10:22 am
Sunday ReFoob Advisory: In tomorrow’s strip, Mike acts like a little shit by pushing Lizzie around, wrecking her stuff and being mean to her; when John sends the little creep to his room, he whines “But I never even touched her!!”
AeroSquid
August 29th, 2009 at 10:25 am
307. ChattyGenes: Ki o tsukete ! Just click on my name for contact.
AeroSquid
August 29th, 2009 at 10:58 am
308. TheDiva: GT:“Bye, good luck with your vague and unidentified goals!”
Yeah. GT is kinda confusing. One moment a group of guys are playing some sort of sport, next Alternate Universe Spock shows up, and then people are crying and hitting each other.
This was the most confusing of the strips:
http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1415/1202471693_4bb7397bcd_o.jpg
bats :[
August 29th, 2009 at 11:06 am
271. AeroSquid: I got yer tip-jar right here.
And until you come to empty it, it’s worth several trips to Baskin-Robbins to me…
There’s a Japanese restaurant in town with the name Sakura.
All right. I got nothin’.
Poteet
August 29th, 2009 at 11:07 am
# 262 ChattyGenes — On the crude Mark Trail Bingo board that I drew after the Bingo idea was proposed, I used “poaching,” so now I get to check off that square. My extremely minor glee at this is made even more minor by knowing this will be yet another MT poaching story.
So we know the drill already. Poachers will poach. Someone, probably Rusty, will be in some kind of peril. Mark will end the peril and slug at least one of the poachers. Andy will secretly drink to try to get through it all. Mark will go home to Cherry, who will have maintained the exact same facial expression for three months, waking and sleeping. The End. *yawn*
Now seeing you act out the story in a puppet show… that would be fun.
bats :[
August 29th, 2009 at 11:10 am
I actually have an alligator on my Mark TRAIL bingo board, but it’s in relation to talking out of one’s
assunusual body part (in this case, the alligator’s eyeball. Does the whole alligator count (in the event that it actually does speak? I think I need a judge’s opinion.Calico
August 29th, 2009 at 11:11 am
#272 – We bequeath this to you:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_rXsTDf2nRg
I love the musical intro-reminds me a bit of the acapella beginning of The Who’s “A Quick one while he’s away.”
Poteet
August 29th, 2009 at 11:16 am
# 311 AeroSquid — That’s actually one of the most understandable and gratifying GT strips I’ve ever seen. Thank you.
# 314 bats:-[ — I think a lot of leeway should be part of Mark Trail Bingo. Also alcoholic beverages of one’s choice.
Poteet
August 29th, 2009 at 11:18 am
# 314 bats:[ — Apologies for accidently giving you some kind of nose (or something) in # 316.
Poteet
August 29th, 2009 at 11:24 am
# 313 — I just realized that no one has actually asked for help in regard to the poaching, nor has the poaching even begun. So I can’t cross off that bingo square yet. Damn.
Now I’m hoping the listening alligator will be shown warning her/his alligator buddies about the peril they’re in and then expressing a general wish for help. I don’t know how much alcohol it might take before I see that happen, though.
Calico
August 29th, 2009 at 11:31 am
Bring back Kelly Welly!
And to Woody Wilson – please bring on the culinary insanity with Chef Tito, my favorite character in RM!
For some reason I thought he’d been killed off, from either cancer or a heart attack. I’ve forgotten his back story, it’s been so long since he showed up.
The Enemy
August 29th, 2009 at 11:39 am
Cancerbean: Wait, I thought that after the jump, Bull and Les were working together, having put the past behind them and maturing. I mean, that’s how they’ve interacted so far.
Oh right. The strip exists to make people feel awkward, uncomfortable, and depressed.
buckyswife
August 29th, 2009 at 11:43 am
SM: “Three dimensions”? Nope, I think we’re sticking with the usual one-dimensional plot development.
Wolvie: “Girl? Hey, Webhead, isn’t she…. a full-grown woman? And isn’t that the kind of retrograde infantilizing that we should have moved beyond in this day and age? Just sayin’.”
MT: If you listen closely, you can hear, deep in the Southern Swamp, the squeaky sound of the gears of a plot grinding into motion.
A3G: Is the Professor a psychiatrist? I’m holding out hope that he’s a math professor, and people will now be going to him for math counseling.
Actually, given how close he’s standing to his first patient, I suspect that the Professor is a sex therapist—and grateful to finally get some
actionwork in the virginal world of A3G.MW: Detective Scott has chest hair! My goodness—that’s a signifier of virility that one rarely sees in a Worthian suitor! I’m all a-flutter—poor Adrian must be ready to a) mount him right there on the park bench or b) run to Mary to talk her down from the sex precipice on which she finds herself, unsteady and uncertain whether to jump or crawl safely back to the firm ground of chastity and salmon squares.
FC: Okay, so I’ve not sat through a Mass in years, but my recollection as a lapsed Catholic girl is that the stained-glass windows depict the Stations of the Cross, not the saints.
buckyswife
August 29th, 2009 at 11:52 am
216 True Fable: You’re right about the novelty factor. My colleagues and I often say the same thing about student writing: We might have seen that essay claiming “the media contribute to eating disorders” 50 times, but that college freshman has just a made a huge discovery for herself.
251 True Fable: Wise words. I’m hoping this issue is settled with the new day, but the various labels of “troll” and “passive aggressive,” along with people supporting various sides, was uncomfortable. I don’t want to participate in the disagreement, but I don’t want to witness it, either. So I’m not trying to revive the discussion; I’m just making a plea that we try to not let it happen again—please? This is, for many of us, our Internet Happy Place, after all! (And I guess this all made me more sad/upset than I’d realized—sorry.)
293 Aerosquid: I’ve spent time in Misawa, Okinawa, and Subic—I wonder if our paths crossed at all? (And I have my share of Asian decor/art, too, believe me!)
Citric
August 29th, 2009 at 11:52 am
274 Mary Worth Discussion Group: But Drew left something like a few months ago, right? That’s like, two days in strip time. I bet he hasn’t gone through customs yet.
Muffaroo
August 29th, 2009 at 12:17 pm
9CL – These aren’t comics. These are pinups, or endpapers for comic albums. Pinups and endpapers don’t have to have a point or be funny. Good thing they’re not comics, or they’d be bugging the hell out of me.
Archie – I’d have thought a more valid grounds for complaining about Archie might be that he leaves carved evidences of his romantic entanglements with cave men on all the trees.
FBasset – I’m guessing the strip is longer in England, but that there’s a legal limit on how many panels you can import. Actually, ‘guessing’ isn’t the right word. I’m praying.
Hagar and Tiger – You guys aren’t surnamed “Basset,” by any chance, are you?
Judge – “Extry! Extry! MOVIE STAR PUNCHES MISSING LINK!
Momma – Today we see what Phil Winslow looks like when he’s not wearing the usual heavy make-up he dons for his regular role in Marmaduke.
R=R – Yeah. So? Is there something comical or amusing about this asinine observation that is supposed to make looking at the strip something other than an utter and complete waste of time?
Didn’t think so.
Slylock – “The same thing happens in our bathtub.” “… only with about half as many hypodermic needles.”
Smif – Behole, studints, th’ rare but still borin’ “Anti-Yak-Yak Mouf.”
Muffaroo
August 29th, 2009 at 12:17 pm
True Fable @245 – You’re saying Spider-Manis linear? I think you’re giving the narrative too much credit here.
Mela @266 – The sepia flashbacks in Crankshaft are used to separate the ‘present-tense’ trip to the fair with the ‘past-tense’ trip to the fair, which was probably last month. That makes .897 of a metric lick of sense, which is way more than the strip usually makes.
ChattyGenes @300 – The only Japanese song I know is “I Hold My Head Up,” which was called “Sukiyaki” when it was on the hit parade in the US around 1960 or 1963. Big hit for the late Kyu Sakamoto. I’d quote it, but it can be found on the web just as easily, without taking up room here. (“U-e-o mu-i-te, aruko-o-o…”)
Some of my cousins spent about ten years in Japan. As they got old enough, they mostly escaped back to the US (they were in a stuffy Euro-American enclave that bored them senseless). One of them retained the language and is now adding Chinese to it, and making a living with that while she figure skates for fun.
John C Fremont
August 29th, 2009 at 12:19 pm
#140 Poteet – Where can we find that forum? I’m sure I’m not the only one who’d like to see that conversation.
#156 bats :[ – “Well, obviously it’s not meant to be taken literally; it refers to any manufacturers of dairy products.”
#185 Jumper – Gaaahh!! Now that’s eerie!
#275 AeroSquid – By a wierd set of circumstances I cannot even begin to explain, I was just reading a couple of hours ago about how Gary Glitter has been out of jail for awhile and is apparently biking around England. Not funny, just a strange coincidence. Gary Glitter is scary.
GT – “Have you ever really looked at your hand, Marty?”
MW – It took me awhile to figure out that this isn’t Lawrence and Delilah. Crap. We’ve just traded one bland couple for another bland couple. At least we still have that orange jacket to sort of tie things together.
Spotted HØrse, Jungle Steed
August 29th, 2009 at 12:25 pm
’shaft: As a crusty old dude, I hereby call boxcar on Max and Mindy requesting fried Oreos and candy bars at the fair, in what, the eighties?
First time I encountered fried Snickers was at the Virginia state fair in 2002. It was a news item that I deemed worthy of investigation. Sadly, fried Snickers just tasted like squishy, greasy, generic fair food.
H&L: I haven’t had occasion to ponder the lush fecundity of Hi and Lois’s reproductive bits for awhile. Thanks a helluva lot, Clan Walker.
buckyswife
August 29th, 2009 at 12:25 pm
326 John C Fremont—re: the orange jacket: That’s why it’s called a “continuity strip”—we’re continuously exposed to the horrors of these fugly colors!
Spotted HØrse, Jungle Steed
August 29th, 2009 at 12:29 pm
FC: And here we have Mama Keane channeling Joan Holloway from Mad Men. Curse you, Jeff Keane, for making me have lustful thoughts during worship!
mollificent
August 29th, 2009 at 12:42 pm
#282 AhClem: Hehe…what’s funny is that I’ve only been reading xkcd regularly for about six months. And actually, the above link was originally posted by Josh, a while back, in pretty much the same context. But thanks (I think). If I get the urge to make salmon squares anytime soon, i’ll start worrying…
#285 TF: Wait, so does that make me FC or Noel Coward?
#322 buckyswife: I humbly accept my portion of rebuke. I should’ve kept out of it entirely, and will keep that in mind in the future. The road to hell, etc. etc.
Actual! comics! related! material! (shocking, I know):
GT: Damn you Dingo! All I could think of while looking at the last panel was “Fruhlinger me till the cows come home!” Those grins do look somewhat post-coital, if you ask me.
MC: Awwww :) Poor Norm. I can relate.
Sherman’s Lagoon: All hail the status quo!
buckyswife
August 29th, 2009 at 12:45 pm
C’ville: You’re right, Lemont: If teh women had a lick of sense, they’d be scrambling for a piece of your boring, wishy-washy, repressed, woman-hating ass. But because they lack a penis, and hence any kind of common sense or ability to judge character, you’re stuck living a full romantic life only in the confines of your narrow little mind. Perhaps you should consider an alternative: If having a vagina and breasts means one is too stupid to recognize what’s best for her, then maybe you’ve been barking up the wrong sexual tree; maybe someone with the benefit of testosterone would recognize your many, many virtues, so you might give that a try. Warning: You will still have to actually say what you’re thinking from time to time.
Then again, why listen to me? I’m probably too influenced by my chick-hormones to make any kind of sense.
boojum
August 29th, 2009 at 12:52 pm
FC: Actually, Billy, being a saint is sort of hard work. I believe the Catholic church still requires a minimum of three documented miracles. And then there’s the violent or extended death that often follows.
Seriously. If the Keanes have been responsible for this moron’s spiritual education, they can’t even succeed at being religious whack-jobs.
True Fable
August 29th, 2009 at 1:05 pm
#322 buckyswife – thank you, doll!
#321 buckyswife(again!) – We have some really stunning handcrafted, original stained glass windows all around the nave in my home church of Our Lady of Perpetual Motion. Because it is Our Lady’s, the windows depict events in her life that tie in with the Christ, i.e. the flight to Egypt, the wedding feast at Cana, the Annunciation, the Pentacost – that sort of thing. Since these were designed and created by a former Catholic priest and approved by a priest steeped in canonical law, I take it that they are liturgically correct.
Also, during the Middle Ages in Europe most people were illiterate, so the lives of the saints were depicted in stained glass art in order to help teach and indoctrinate the unwashed, uneducated masses. You don’t see them much in modern churches, though.
Which tells us just how old The Family Circus strip really is.
boojum
August 29th, 2009 at 1:07 pm
MW: And speaking of morons — hey, detective! That is NOT how you do “handsy!”
I’m starting to get suspicious of this guy’s scrupulous verb tenses. (Logic, even verbal logic, is always a sign of danger in Mary Worth.)
“When I first met you, I fell in love with you. I saw you were a strong woman. The kind I want to be with.”
Sounds to me like the next line is going to be, “Huh. Just goes to show, never trust a first impression. But let’s do lunch some time, real soon. No reason we can’t still be friends.”
Maybe he’s not such a moron, after all.
True Fable
August 29th, 2009 at 1:07 pm
#330 mollificent – Why, Noel Coward; of course. :)
Winky's Spleen
August 29th, 2009 at 1:13 pm
Argyle Sweater – Contemptible Shrek rip-off.
Baby Blues – I laughed. But I’m ashamed of myself for doing so.
Pearls Before Swine – Chi Chi the Cheetah, clinically depressed motivational speaker. I laughed, and I’m not ashamed. I hope we see more of Chi Chi.
Frazz – I would so sign up for a fantasy weather league.
Lio – This isn’t Tatulli wrapping the strip up, is it?
boojum
August 29th, 2009 at 1:15 pm
TruFable and buckyswife — Well, of course there are stained-glass saints. They even have their own 40’s/rock/punk band!
http://www.stainedglasssaints.com/
mollificent
August 29th, 2009 at 1:17 pm
#336: A fantasy weather league in Seattle would be an adventure!
boojum
August 29th, 2009 at 1:17 pm
Sorry, True Fable. Modern spelling conventions confuse and terrify me. I don’t know when to be loosey-goosey.
buckyswife
August 29th, 2009 at 1:18 pm
333 Wise and True Fable: Thanks—The window explanation makes sense. Perhaps because my Catholic girlhood was spent in newfangled, minimalist, West Coast churches, the wall decor had to do double duty—decorative/iconic AND Stations of the Cross. Then again, my memory is hazy about this, so I might well be completely wrong; it’s certainly happened (many times) before!
Lorem Ipsum
August 29th, 2009 at 1:19 pm
Fantasy Weather League in MO. just look out the window every 5 minutes…and you will have a winner! Can’t complain too much about this summer…I believe this is Fantasy Weather!
buckyswife
August 29th, 2009 at 1:21 pm
336 Winky’s Spleen: I get Facebook posts from Tatulli, and he’s not said anything about this (and he does post stuff about the strip and all)—so I hope that’s not it!
mollificent
August 29th, 2009 at 1:22 pm
OMG! I was just browsing the discussion forum and saw this signature on someone’s post: “Of all the Charlie Browns in the world, you are the Charlie Brownest”–Lucy Van Pelt (apologies if I misquoted it).
Ed and Melissa, you win. You win to infinity. :D
MolyBendum
August 29th, 2009 at 1:25 pm
B.C. – Top five other fun things for Thor to do next week now that he’s become wolfinized:
5. Spend the day giving himself a tongue bath.
4. Eat dental floss and walk around with it hanging out of his asshole.
3. Get Fat Broad to put a leash on him and parade him around the caves.
2. Get up in the middle of the night, yell at the top of his lungs for 5 minutes for no reason, circle 3 times and go back to sleep.
1. Eat chocolate and DIE.
boojum
August 29th, 2009 at 1:44 pm
Back, quickly if I may, to bacon and chocolate:
Didn’t get to post the other day when the subject came up. I was intrigued, because I have a recipe for a smoked hot fudge sauce you actually cook in a smoker with aromatic wood chips. Like a mole sauce, but a sweet dessert version.
Anyway, here’s my question for those who’ve tried the combination:
I have another recipe for candied bacon ice cream (broil lean bacon with brown sugar, chop and add to a custardy ice cream made with brown sugar, whisky or rum and a touch of cinnamon). Would it be worthwhile trying a version where you add the candied bacon to a chocolate ice cream? If so, dark fudge or a more milky chocolate, with the rum or whisky?
Edgy DC
August 29th, 2009 at 1:46 pm
I’ve got to give National Cartoonists Society Jeff Keane some props here for the subtext of depicting older brother Billy smugly walking by with his new clothes folded, pinned, and tagged. Depicting the indignities of your childhood torment by denuding yourself is a bold move. Yeah, Charles Schulz did it first, but, well, he’s the king.
bats :[
August 29th, 2009 at 1:48 pm
Dang, something is seriously farmin’ up my proto-posts. Third time charm, trying to write responses:
317. Poteet: that’s a rather subdued bat nose. It could’ve been :@[ or :<[ or even :&[
327. Spotted Horse: good call on the fried crap on a stick. I haven't been to a fair in probably 20 years, and I don't think this most recent assault to the GI track was discovered until the 1990s. I also think CS's offspring was probably this are in the 1970s. You were just being kind, right?
In downtown Las Vegas/Fremont Street, one of the sleazier casinos has fried crap on a stick All. The. Time. It's like a fair that never ends!
332. boojum: the documented miracles come after the proto-saint's death (be it bloody and gruesome, or otherwise (the proto-saint's death, not the miracle).
337. boojum: in either Nashville or Memphis (well, I'm pretty sure it's Tennessee), there's a "reclaimed" church that has been renovated into a restaurant. What to do with those narrow, long windows?
Yes, there's a stained glass of Elvis Presley.
boojum
August 29th, 2009 at 1:56 pm
bats: @ 347: Why are you so sure the Elvis window wasn’t there when it was a church?
buckyswife
August 29th, 2009 at 2:00 pm
345 boojum: I’m a serious mole fan (imagine the accent mark, not the ground-dwelling critter), but I never thought of it in dessert-y terms. I love dark chocolate infused with hot pepper, though, so it would make sense. And for your culinary experiment, I’d vote for dark chocolate (but I always will vote for dark chocolate) with whiskey (and I just about always will vote for whiskey, too).
And I vote for your making a little trip to the greater DC metro area to let me have a taste!
bats :[
August 29th, 2009 at 2:06 pm
348. boojum: a valid point…
commodorejohn
August 29th, 2009 at 2:08 pm
AS – …I don’t know how Hillburn concluded that this is what breasts would look like through a food-service jacket, and I really don’t want to.
Crankshaft – This one just doesn’t make any sense, unless Batiuk has switched from hating on the elderly to hating on carnivals, which I suppose is possible.
Curtis – There are some startling and unsettling implications to today’s Curtis.
FW – Les is such a pussy that decades later he’s still hurting from a high-school wedgie. That, or it gave him prostate cancer.
Love Is… – wondering if you could get a marriage license in Alabama.
Luann – In short, nobody is likeable. Except Bernice.
MT – Oh, sure, it’s all fun and games until one of you trips on your pink high heels while being chased by one. Then you’ll have to be saved by Mark Trail, of all people.
MW – Yeah, between the laughably false claim that Adrian is or has ever been strong and capable and Scott’s wild-eyed, sales-pitching mannerisms, I’m not quite buying this. And by that I mean that friggin’ Charley was more believably on the up-and-up than this cretin.
MC – Hmm.
Phantom – “Uh, yeah, you know, I’m right over here. You know, the guy with the gun? I know you’re whispering and all, but I’m all of five feet away, here.”
Pluggers – Pluggers are those bastards who sneak zucchini into any unlocked vehicle they come across.
SM – See, this is the kind of playing around that more people should do with the comic-strip format. It’s just a pity it’s in Spider-Man.
boojum
August 29th, 2009 at 2:08 pm
also bats:[ @ 347: Really? About the miracles all coming after the proto-saint’s death?
Not arguing with you, since I’m not RC. But I was under the impression that you got some credit if you performed miracles while you were alive. Wasn’t this true of the apostles and others?
Or is this just for modern saints, who perhaps don’t do as many miracles when they’re with us? The violent death, of course, is optional – or at least non-mandatory.
I’m always reminded of Flannery O’Connor’s “A Temple of the Holy Ghost:” “She knew she could never be a saint, but she thought she might could be a martyr if they killed her quick.”
mr 12 oz can
August 29th, 2009 at 2:16 pm
i think elrod should stop doing the animal feature every sunday and give andy his own solo spot . i hope rusty and sassy bite the dust in this storyline and the ugly woman in rex morgan gets hit by a bus.
boojum
August 29th, 2009 at 2:19 pm
buckyswife: Mmmmm. Bittersweet chocolate and chipotle….. Time to make truffles.
buckyswife
August 29th, 2009 at 2:28 pm
354 boojum: Now how am I supposed to concentrate on these papers, with you planting thoughts of truffles in my head? (Note: If you open your door to find a short blonde chick bearing a bottle of bourbon and a hopeful, chocolate-hungry look, that would be me.)
bats :[
August 29th, 2009 at 2:31 pm
351. commodorejohn re FW: I am so sick of Les living in the past. I will on occasion have regrets (geez, I should’ve taken violin when I was in grade school, etc., etc.), but cripes, I could be a whole lot more snivelly if I had dispensation like Les apparently has.
(Then again, I also have a theory of scapegoatism: people who whine and say how awful something is should be made to endure it. Yes, Bull should give Les an atomic wedgie even after all these years. Les probably wouldn’t get prostate cancer, though — something more like butt crack cancer, or tighty-whity rash. Then there could be a Special Event for him to Raise Awareness.)
bats :[
August 29th, 2009 at 2:47 pm
*$#&%**&$*#
352. boojum: sorry, I can’t shift from this page without losing my writing-in-progress (no, the problem isn’t you!). I’ll refer you to Wikipedia for all the ins and outs of canonization and beatification. (There’s a good “how to do it” stairway to sainthood list under canonization.)
A minimum of three verified miracles is needed after the person’s death, and usually some time lag is involved (so it can be determined that this person is truly worthy of being a saint and it isn’t all hoopla following a popular individual’s death, like Mother Teresa or John Paul 2: The Poles Strike Back).
Wow, Saturday morning. Catholic talk. It’s like I’m back in Catechism class!
OTOH, both the Eastern Orthodox Church and Islam do have provisions for living saints (isn’t that keen?). In the EOC, a living saint’s icon will have the halo depicted as a triangle, rather than a circle.
spike
August 29th, 2009 at 3:06 pm
(Apologies for being off-point…)
bats :[ @357: JP II changed the rules that only two miracles be required for canonization, at least according to a story in The New York Times:
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/04/08/weekinreview/08basics.html
Otherwise, everything you’ve said up to this point squares with what I learned many, many years ago, before I became an atheist.
Omny
August 29th, 2009 at 3:09 pm
Family Circus: The way he’s looking at Jeffy’s exposed genitalia makes me very worried.
boojum
August 29th, 2009 at 3:14 pm
bats:[ — Thanks for the info. I’ll check out that Stairway to Heaven in Wikipedia.
As a Dutch Reformed type, there are certain… gaps in my knowledge. I’ve read a few lives of the saints, but I don’t have access to the bloodier versions my RC friends remember so fondly.
When we were choosing names for our son, a friend lobbied hard for us to include a saint’s name. As I recall, he was leaning toward St. Charles Counter-Reformation Borromeo, but it was a little unwieldy with the other two names we went with. And any monogramming later would have been cost-prohibitive.
Katya
August 29th, 2009 at 3:16 pm
#355 — buckyswife:
You mean a petite, blonde beauty
bearingwearing a bustier. :)John C Fremont
August 29th, 2009 at 3:31 pm
Admittedly, I skimmed through that Wikipedia entry on the stairway to Heaven awfully darned quickly, but I didn’t see anything about the stairway lying on the whispering wind. And spring clean for the May Queen? That just makes no sense.
And yet, it makes me wonder…
bats :[
August 29th, 2009 at 3:39 pm
358. spike: only TWO?!?! Crud, in this modern world with so many people and so much ‘connection’ to get information out there, does the number have to be reduced? (Maybe I’m still cheesed off about “Mister Christopher”…)
Once is happenstance. Twice is circumstance. Three times is the thing itself.
AeroSquid
August 29th, 2009 at 3:39 pm
Predictions for weeks Mark Trail:
Mon: “C’mon ! all the cool kids are doing it.”
Tues: “Glad you could see me, Mark. Alligators are disappearing in great numbers.”
Wed: “What is that your licking, Andy ? OH,NO !”
Thur: “Mister ! My dog ‘Chum’ has been taken by alligators. Please stop hitting me!”
Fri: “Wow, Mark. I almost screwed up my whole life. Thanks.”
Sat: “Who wants Crock Loaf ?”
Katya
August 29th, 2009 at 3:40 pm
Beetle Bailey:
So, hey, the arrangement works out for everybody, then. That’s always nice!
9 Chickweed Lame:
And once again, I fail completely to understand the reason for this strip’s continued existence.
Oh, wait…it is of course high art. I’m sure that explains why I, a mere uneducated peon, don’t appreciate it as I should. Right, Mr. McEldowney?
AeroSquid
August 29th, 2009 at 3:47 pm
364. RE: Me. Almost forgot about Sunday’s MT:
“The Andorian Flying Gerbil sends out a mating call from several highly tuned sphinters….”
AeroSquid
August 29th, 2009 at 3:47 pm
…Sphincters….I meant Sphincters.
alamo
August 29th, 2009 at 3:51 pm
9cl exists because it is soft porn. well drawn soft porn. skip the dialogue. we want more legs. it’s legs i tells ya! legs!! and all the rest of them body parts! male, female, dogs, cats, bats. (drool)
commodorejohn
August 29th, 2009 at 3:52 pm
#365 – And thus did Katya succinctly summarize the entire 9 Chickweed Lane experience.
AeroSquid
August 29th, 2009 at 3:55 pm
365. Katya: And McEldowney laughs as you crinkle your forehead in frustration over Pigborn…Pibgorn
Katya
August 29th, 2009 at 3:58 pm
Blondie:
Ooh, manipulation and reverse psychology combined in one fell swoop!
Yep, I’d say that’s definitely the way to handle your husband in a marriage. Straightforward communication? Naaahhh…
Lorem Ipsum
August 29th, 2009 at 3:59 pm
I just turned on my camera, lo and behold, my memory card is full. Did I think about deleting or uploading anything, no…I am going to buy a new one!
shermy glamrocker
August 29th, 2009 at 4:01 pm
Unfortunately there was no room for smug Billy’s thought balloon, which was: “This morning, you get into my pants. Tonight, I get into yours.”
spike
August 29th, 2009 at 4:02 pm
bats :[ @ 363: I believe that JP II was anxious to canonize Maximilian Kolbe (a fellow Pole) and therefore reduced the number of miracles for canonization to two. [Kolbe had only two to his credit at that point.] In any case, it was and official “executive decision”/”ex cathedra” pronouncement on JP II’s part.
True Fable
August 29th, 2009 at 4:05 pm
# 357 bats ;[ – wow, that was just like sitting in the hallway listening to Sister Anne talk to the rest of the class about it! Cools!
To be clear, Sister Anne taught Galevav’s catechism class, and I was waiting in the hallway for him to get out of class.
…then again, I was lucky she let me wait in the hall.
“Oh, so YOU are Mr. Fable! I wondered where in the hell he got those insane ideas! Where’s my ruler!”
Artist formerly known as Ben
August 29th, 2009 at 4:08 pm
8/29
Marvin: Don’t feel too bad, Ming Ming. Marvin still won’t have figured that one out when he’s twenty.
MW: The platitude. The pod person grin. It’s all falling together. Dr. Jeff’s daughter is dating the son Mary gave up for adoption all those years ago.
Phantom: Smooth. Whisper promises to the prisoner while the guard is six feet away. Ah, he probably just thinks they’re hooking up, and he’ll try to make a few bucks off the deal.
6C: Man, that is a huge and unfunny wall of text. Still better than Cathy though.
MC: Sweet Peanuts shoutout. Apparently both Norm and Ashley are thinking about it, though.
Archie: It’s a cute little detail that Archie and Betty’s initials are carved into the tree. Also, that Jughead and Reggie are watching Archie and Ronnie while jacking each other off.
S-M: If these four people ever have to change a lightbulb together, they’ll be sitting in the dark for a long time.
FT: Microsoft Windows is now officially the new airline food, for “comedy” purposes. Naturally Fast Track is all over it.
JP: This is how bad the storyline has been managed. You know the paparazzo in the faux-gangster backwards cap? The one who caused Godiva’s horse to throw her and is now getting ready to profit from his buddy getting beat down by Rocky? I’m rooting for him.
FW: Haven’t Les and Bull Bushka been buddies for about fifteen years now? Like, five years longer than statistics say they should have survived in Westview. So why is Les getting all PTSD’d by the thought of Bull teaching Summer to drive?
Momma: Dr. Sidney Freedman is now reduced to showing Sonia his surgery scars. He must really be hoping for a M*A*S*H* reunion.
GT: It’s too bad Gil Thorp doesn’t run on Sundays. I’d love to see Gil, thirty seconds after Marty DeJong has driven off, saying, “Who the hell was that kid again?”
queek
August 29th, 2009 at 4:16 pm
355: oh, bearing a bottle. Read that as “wearing” at first, and was slightly confused. ;-)
AhClem
August 29th, 2009 at 4:17 pm
Chocolate-covered bacon on a stick was one of the featured foods at the Minnesota State Fair a few years back. I try to avoid the deep-fried whatevers on a stick when I go, but my cholesterol goes up 20 points just from walking around the place.
One of the features there is a giant slingshot where you are strapped into a cage and launched a couple hundred feet into the air (No, I didn’t go on it). One would only hope that if Crankshaft went on this ride, the operator would “forget” to strap him and and then launch him into the next county.
Islamorada Girl
August 29th, 2009 at 4:17 pm
Stained Glass Bluegrass. We’re Episcopalians. To honor my late mother, my father donated a stained glass window to our church.
It portrays Ezekiel. When I asked my father why he’d chosen that particular prophet, he replied, “Ezekiel is my favorite schizophrenic in the Bible.” The last time I went to church, which was years ago, I noticed Ezekiel was holding what looks a whole lot like a martini glass. My old man had a great sense of humor.
mr 12 oz can
August 29th, 2009 at 4:23 pm
as you know we live in modern times so just connect aint love grand .
Married Agnostic Woman
August 29th, 2009 at 4:27 pm
Hey, Jeffy’s got a fatty lipoma on the back of his thigh just like I do! Makes me want to wander around the house in my underwear in solidarity.
Cyranetta
August 29th, 2009 at 4:43 pm
MW — I’m beginning to suspect that the author is suffering from writer’s block and will continue to cycle between various dull romantic pairs interspersed with oddly-phrased platitudes at the poolside at Charterstone until inspiration strikes, and we finally get some DRAMA.
True Fable
August 29th, 2009 at 4:46 pm
#281 Married Agnostic Woman – My older brother was 10 years my senior, so I never had hand-me-downs. I did have to endure my sisters passing judgment on every single item I wore, like a sinister clutch of What Not To Wear host rejects. So I had things marginally better than Jeffy. Marginally.
I think I might wander around my apartment in my underwear too. No harm done, and if someone happens to look up in through a window on the second floor from the ground, they won’t see much.
Of course, the ninja goats would need counseling, so maybe I’d better not.
bats :[
August 29th, 2009 at 4:49 pm
375. True Fable: many trees died…
381. Married Agnostic Woman: I think that’s just Jeffy’s butt.
382. Cyranetta: but will any of us live that long to see it?
Niall
August 29th, 2009 at 4:58 pm
330. mollificent: That 2nd panel in My Cage.. that’s Ashley outright inviting Norm to be her boyfriend. She finally got the courage up after what seems months of steeling herself to it. And now he shoots her down? Oh no. She’s not going to abandon that easily. As for relating, I can’t really, because I’ve never been in that situation, but if I were.. I don’t think I’d be far from Norm’s outlook.
340. buckyswife: out here in Quebec, stations of the cross are either in stained glasses if the church is big enough, or else along the walls, sometimes almost in stained glass style.
343. mollificent: Um, that quote is one of the oldest about Peanuts… you hadn’t seen it before? But yeah, they do rock rather hard anyways. :)
349. buckyswife: dark chocoate and whiskey, hmm? Darnit, it’s never someone local… :)
355. buckyswife: I know how to make truffles and ganache. I have single malt and irish pot still whiskey. and saké. I’ll accept all visits by short blonde chicks. Especially hopeful-looking ones. *waggles eyebrows*
361. katya: doubly so for bustiers being worn!
379. Islamorada Girl: We see where yours comes from, then!
All this talk of Japanese stuff reminds me, I’ll be in Toronto on Sunday Sep 13 to find my way to the Pacific Mall to try and find a cold saké serving set, then back to Beni Hana to try their teppenyaki – I might as well see how the “original” chain does it. It’s sad to go alone, though, so if any Mudgeons want to come, let me know. (I would need to be there as they open at 5:30pm.)
Joe Blevins
August 29th, 2009 at 5:15 pm
Let’s drag Mary Worth completely into the gutter, shall we?
Yes, I think we shall.
AeroSquid
August 29th, 2009 at 5:19 pm
386. Joe Blevins: Isn’t ‘love’ grand ? Way to Euro up Mary Worth…..because that stuff is legal in Europe….right ? Well…maybe in Finland.
mollificent
August 29th, 2009 at 5:22 pm
Niall: re: Peanuts, maybe I’ve heard it or seen it before, but it’s been long enough that I’d forgotten. It just struck me funny when I saw the quote because I hadn’t realized it was a reference when I first saw the MC strip.
And believe me, I’m rooting for Normley 100 percent. I can relate to Norm’s relationship self-sabotage not because I’ve been in that exact situation, but because my usual MO is to sabotage new possibilities before they’ve even got off the ground (Gunther-style).
Niall
August 29th, 2009 at 5:25 pm
…I think I’ve been a little too enthusiastic lately. I’ll calm down, sorry everyone.
Baka Gaijin
August 29th, 2009 at 5:45 pm
#p289 professor fate on Luann: Tiffany could pay a “hippie/’Nam vet/militia type” to drop one on them. It wouldn’t be the first time.
The linked post happened a couple weeks after “Tarzana Nights” entered the CC collective. Man, has it been 2 years since the Chicken Hot Rod Squad did its job, two “women” fought over the younger Dr. Corey, Alan Mills was a dope fiend, the Shocker was shocking, and “the urge” was in the comics? The summer of 2007 was truly a great time to snark.
sugarpie
August 29th, 2009 at 5:53 pm
I’ve printed the icons for Mark Trail Bingo,, and boy oh boy, they look great! Many thanks to Aviatrix, bats :[ , and spacemika. ( How how many cards am I allowed to play at one time?)
They look so good I’m hesitant to deface them with my official St. Ignatius Loyola Parish Hall Dab-A-Dot. Now I fully understand the concept of wanting to have my cake and eat it, too.
Luann Today’s strip pretty much sums up years of Luann. Launne pining for some guy who will end up leaving, and dweeby guys mooning after Luann. Sic transit Luann mundi.
If Gunther were half as smart as he’s supposed to be he would’ve called the cops, or Luann’s parents, or someone on Elwood for stalking the underaged Luann. She’s jailbait Elwood old pal. Unless you’re Jerry Lee Lewis, or living in Tennesee, you need to move on to someone more age appropriate.
All the Catholic conversation above makes me wonder, too, if Luann might not benefit from a couple years in a cloistered convent school. I know Bernice would.
KT
August 29th, 2009 at 6:05 pm
#365 Katya:
Still, you’ve got to admire Edda’s impressive dance skills in spite of her obvious handicap.
AeroSquid
August 29th, 2009 at 6:07 pm
391. sugarpie: Please move all counter-reformationist talk to the counter-reformationist forum. LOL j/k ! :D
commodorejohn
August 29th, 2009 at 6:09 pm
#391 sugarpie – Bernice in a Catholic girls’ school would make Luann a much, much different kind of comic. I think Alfred E. Neuman would be happy to elaborate.
AeroSquid
August 29th, 2009 at 6:10 pm
394. commodorejohn: It would be like the TATU of comics.
Thomas B.
August 29th, 2009 at 6:19 pm
Family Circus:
No Jeffy, “My Brother’s Clothes” is not the brand for you. Neither is “Victoria’s Secret”, so please stop wearing thongs!!
Thomas B.
August 29th, 2009 at 6:24 pm
FC: While Jeffy objects to his brother’s pants, he clearly draws the line at wearing hand me down underwear.
Islamorada Girl
August 29th, 2009 at 6:42 pm
I’m a lapsed Protestant, but it seems to me in the RC church, you get instant sainthood if you’re a martyr for the faith. Little fact check here?
boojum
August 29th, 2009 at 6:53 pm
Islamorada Girl @ 398: Hmmm. As I’ve said, I’m a Protestant myself, so I can’t give a real answer. But I can see all kinds of practical difficulties. After all, people die for the faith every day. The fact that we don’t see it in America so much doesn’t mean it’s not a reality in many parts of the world.
Isn’t there a different category for martyrs? Have you checked wikipedia, the repository of all knowledgy stuff?
Poteet
August 29th, 2009 at 7:11 pm
# 330 mollificent — Thanks for the Sherman tipoff — I hadn’t seen it yet, and when I did, I laughed like a drain. I had wondered how that new wealth would disappear. And JUDGE JUDY is one of my guilty pleasures. Occasionally when I’ve just done something stupid, I can hear her in my head yelling “You’re an idiot!”
Vince M
August 29th, 2009 at 7:13 pm
390: Baka Gaijin – and summer 2007 shall be forever known as the Summer of Love to Snark.
boojum
August 29th, 2009 at 7:14 pm
I vote that “Meanwhile, speaking of love…” be named the official stance line of Mary Worth. There’s a nice… peripheral-ness to it that I like. It suggests that every event, every just-miss of human connection, simply takes up time until something else, equally unremarkable, occurs elsewhere. And they do speak of love, a lot. Most important for my case: Speaking is all they ever DO about it. (Joe Blevins’ fevered imaginings – and God love you for them – aside.)
“In the room the women come and go,/Talking of Michaelangelo.” Yeah. Dude had it about right.
curlyfries
August 29th, 2009 at 7:21 pm
#398 Islamorada Girl, you used to need 3 miracles to your name (either performed in your lifetime or connected to you afterwards) to get your saint badge. You first go through beatification, and then, if you have enough corroborated miracles, canonization. Martyrdom isn’t necessary, but it isn’t an automatic fast track, either. It does sort of give you a few points toward beatification. For example, St. Ignatius Loyola died of a fever in 1556 and was made a saint in 1622. St Joan of Arc was burned at the stake in 1431, and she wasn’t canonized until 1920.
Pretty much all the early saints were persecuted for their faith by pagan Rome so most came to an untimely (and purportedly cheerful) end in a variety of interesting ways, so martyrdom got coupled/confused with instant sainthood.
Rusty
August 29th, 2009 at 7:24 pm
I’m a lapsed Catholic, but recall that saints have to have performed a miracle, as well as lived some type of saintly life. Which could include martyrdom.
Rusty
August 29th, 2009 at 7:24 pm
403: What he said.
curlyfries
August 29th, 2009 at 7:25 pm
#402 Boojum, for all her repeating ad nauseum from the “Quote of the Day” calendar, I can guarandamntee you that Mary Worth thinks “Prufrock” is something Delilah would wear.
Poteet
August 29th, 2009 at 7:26 pm
Re the sainthood discussion, please pardon if this is a repeat. I was mildly obsessed with saints when I was about eleven and preparing to be confirmed (I was raised Catholic). I somehow had gotten the idea, probably from my own deranged imagination, that I wouldn’t qualify to be confirmed unless I was really, truly willing to die for the faith.
After considerable reading, I decided that I really didn’t think I could stand most of the hideous martyr deaths, particularly being grilled alive. But if it really came down to it, I thought I might just barely possibly be willing to endure beheading. I decided that was good enough.
The obsession came in handy years later when I was a foreign student in Strasbourg. My French was painfully awful, but when our student group was visiting art museums and someone wanted to know why the heck people with halos were holding plates with eyeballs, sitting next to lions, or shot full of arrows, I had my minor chance to shine. Thank you, saints.
But I’ve pretty much changed my mind about the beheading.
curlyfries
August 29th, 2009 at 7:46 pm
#407 Poteet, St. Bartholomew (known for his miracles with tricky weights) holding up his own flayed skin is always big for “eeew” factor. It’s interesting – at some point the stories of saintly martyrdom stopped being about pure suffering and became about how no pain was felt during this last ordeal because of their faith.
I’m kind of surprised no one pointed out St. Theresa, aka The Little Flower, to you to allay your obsesson. She’s immensely popular and altho she was a cloistered nun, she wasn’t martyred.
In any event, I’m very glad you changed your mind about the beheading and decided to laugh with the sinners here (Billy Joel will tell you we have much more fun)!
commodorejohn
August 29th, 2009 at 7:49 pm
#390 Baka Gaijin – Hey, let’s not forget that it was also the summer where Everybody’s Different” hit #1 on the Canadian chart, only for the band to suffer a tragic break-up when the guitarist’s face melted.
Anonymous
August 29th, 2009 at 7:52 pm
407: But Poteet, if you got beheaded, you’d be in such royal company! Mary, Queen of Scots, Anne Boylen, Katherine Howard, Marie Antoinette. It might not put you on the fast track to martyrdom, but it will make you a great romantic heroine for the ages. With cool costumes!
Well, except for Mary Q of S, who was quite elderly by the time Cousin Liz got around to signing her death warrant. So Mary wore a bright red wig. When the headsman went to pick up her severed head, it rolled right out from under the wig and across the scaffold like a bowling ball.
But it’s still a great way to cement your legend.
Islamorada Girl
August 29th, 2009 at 7:55 pm
Margo, Boxcar, Saturn. 410 was me on Firefox. Sigh.
CanuckDownSouth
August 29th, 2009 at 7:57 pm
Information about Catholic canonization procedures (past and present) can be found on the internet :)
OK, ex:
http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/02364b.htm
has, waayyyy down the page, the full set of rules, which differ for “confessor” and “martyr”. It seems that the number of miracles (“of the first class”) for confessors depends on the amount of evidence for a life of “heroic virtue”. Martyrs need only “second class” miracles, and may not need any miracles, for the “beatification” step, but then it seems that everyone needs at least two total for the formal canonization… (good grief that page is detailed)
ChattyGenes
August 29th, 2009 at 8:16 pm
#315 Calico. Thank you for the link! I laughed all over again. (And I recommend it, for anyone here who has not seen Josh and friends in “Mark Trail Theater.”)
curlyfries
August 29th, 2009 at 8:19 pm
#410 Islamorada Girl, that was impressive, but if Mary’s head had knocked down a 7-10 split that would really have been legendary.
UncleJeff
August 29th, 2009 at 8:33 pm
The old National Lampoon did an article on stained glass windows for the lesser saints (and churches that were owned by their richest parishioners). My favorites were the camel happily leaping through the eye of a needle and the stained glass of Saint Onan (with a big white splotch covering part of the glass)
Katya
August 29th, 2009 at 8:37 pm
So, over at Comics.com, Luann is described as an exciting comic strip!
I can only assume that the lackey asssigned to create the blurbs for each comic decided to take out some of his resentment with a bit of irony.
I mean, I like reading Luann as much as the next person, but really…it’s about as exciting as watching grass grow.
Katya
August 29th, 2009 at 8:41 pm
Candorville:
Don’t believe what Lemont is saying, guys, recent discussion of sexy bad-boy Irishmen notwithstanding! :)
Muffaroo
August 29th, 2009 at 8:55 pm
“I grow old, I grow old…” –Mary Worth
dyslexic dog
August 29th, 2009 at 8:58 pm
#416 — Katya
Watching grass grow can be exciting at times.
Muffaroo
August 29th, 2009 at 9:03 pm
Katya @416 – That made me wonder what other descriptions of comics I might find there. So I made some up!
Ziggy – “A cutting-edge slice of bitter irony.”
Fred Basset – “A laugh-out-loud, fall-down-laughing gag strip.”
Lio – “Heartwarmingly cute sayings of an average kid.”
Rose is Rose – “Down-to-earth smiles from a typical family.”
Cathy – “An endearing cast, sharply observed and crisply rendered.”
Close to Home – “Clever gadgets, so well drawn you’ll swear they’d really work.”
Momma – “So wise and sweet, you’ll wish she was your mother.”
Family Circus – “An up-to-the-minute look at life in a typical family of 2009.”
Dinette Set – “An enjoyable… a realistic… aw, screw it. It’s a piece of crap. When’s lunch?”
curlyfries
August 29th, 2009 at 9:06 pm
#419 Dyslexic dog, interesting – perhaps. But exciting?
Only if dogs or people are humping on top of it.
queek
August 29th, 2009 at 9:14 pm
ah yes, St. Theresa.
“Nun has wet dream, achieves sainthood, Bernini makes naughty statue. Film at 11.”
for those who think I’m kidding, read the writeup on wiki. The description would make Dingo blush.
“I saw in his hand a long spear of gold, and at the iron’s point there seemed to be a little fire. He appeared to me to be thrusting it at times into my heart, and to pierce my very entrails. . . .”
Katya
August 29th, 2009 at 9:28 pm
#419 — dyslexic dog:
Well, maybe in reel, speeded-up time, but not in real</i< life…
Thanks for the link, though. Some of the comments were pretty funny.
I also was reminded of the phrase "about as exciting as watching paint dry," which I guess I had forgotten.
But…out of curiousity I clicked on your screen name and that was absolutely, 110% hilarious!
Trust me, everybody. You’ve got to read it!
Katya
August 29th, 2009 at 9:37 pm
Re: me @ #423:
Obviously I am not doing so well at implementing my newly-acquired italicizing skills. Aaargh! Being the perfectionist that I am, I wish I could delete that comment and start over…
It’s never a good idea to become over-confident, rush and not check your message before posting, is it?
But, no matter, no matter at all…
What is really important is that you all click on dyslexic dog’s name a.s.a.p.!
curlyfries
August 29th, 2009 at 9:51 pm
#422 queek, I’m an art historian so big props to you for independent research on Theresa’s description- it does read like soft porn, doesn’t it? But that’s a different St. Theresa (of Avila, not Lisieux) – housecleaning was what made the other St. Theresa’s habit blow up. The “ecstasy” that accompanies the visions of saints has been interpreted in lots of ways – and been chalked up to schizophrenia, ignorance of sexual orgasm, etc. This was the Counter-Reformation and Bernini dared to go for the explicit – by showing us a virgin saint’s “O” face everyone could see the physical impact of the spiritual experience. And because it’s shocking it does really put the, uh, point across.
And I’m having a pretty fine time thinking what Dingo would have done with her description had he been around in the 1600’s. Better than Mark Trail Bingo!
Katya
August 29th, 2009 at 9:57 pm
Judge Parker:
Wow, Rocky Ledge is morphing into Mark Trail before our very eyes, punching that paparazzo squarely in the face.
Luckily, in terms of the guy’s appearance, I don’t think Rocky can do much damage.
Rex Morgan, M.D.:
I’m not exactly sure who this Peter guy is; I’m guessing he’s Becka’s husband, though. I must have missed some of the past storylines where this was explained.
But, boy, Berna and Becka have got the dude tried, judged and convicted already! Is he cheating on Becka or something?
I’m sure we’ll find out, more’s the pity.
Katya
August 29th, 2009 at 10:15 pm
Lockhorns:
So you don’t like the lady. You apparently have no children, so go ahead and divorce her already!
Oh, unless you happen to be Catholic. In that case, you have the Pope’s permission to be miserable for the rest of your natural life.
Disclaimer: The above is not in any way intended to offend any Catholic on the face of the earth.
I’m so skittish now, I’m afraid to say just ’bout anything…
Spotted HØrse, Jungle Steed
August 29th, 2009 at 10:16 pm
#347 bats:[
Heh. They probably employ a crack team of food pervs working round the clock, devising new combinations of familiar foodlike items to dip in generic doughnut/funnelcake batter.
Katya
August 29th, 2009 at 10:28 pm
Mark Trail:
Is that really an alligator in the middle panel? Looks more like a wildly distorted hedgehog or something to me.
Something very strange is going on here. Usually Mr. Elrod is fantastic at drawing animals; it’s the humans with which he has some trouble.
True Fable
August 29th, 2009 at 10:44 pm
Catholics can divorce. We’re just not supposed to remarry, unless there’s annulments or death of the original spouse or something.
But His Holiness has never been married to a Lockhorn, or he’d change that shit real quick.
buckyswife
August 29th, 2009 at 10:57 pm
385 Niall: Careful here—don’t offer a dieting woman chocolate and Scotch, or she might never leave your doorstep!
402 boojum, 418 Muffaroo: You all are making me want a Prufrock fix—absolutely my favorite poem, although one I didn’t even particularly like until I was old enough (read: late 30s) to appreciate it. Some words (among other things) are wasted on the young.
407 Poteet: Did you go through an “I want to be a nun” stage, too? I had mine in middle school—it was brief but pretty sincere.
430 True Fable: I was Catholic, and I’ve been both divorced AND annulled. The annulment was a joke, but I did my ex the kindness so he could get remarried in the Church.
And: who was it in this thread who recommended Lemon Drops? Mollificent? If so, I’m in your debt—had my first before dinner this evening, and my, was it tasty! I’m a happy little ‘mudgeon right now!
Katya
August 29th, 2009 at 11:33 pm
Mary Worth:
Oh, Adrian, dear Adrian. You are so gullible and desperate for love. That’s a very dangerous combination.
mollificent
August 29th, 2009 at 11:35 pm
buckyswife: Yummy! enjoy! Did they sugar the rim of the glass? That’s half the fun…though I hope your diet isn’t too serious, because I shudder to think of the caloric content of this particular cocktail.
(Hmmm…according to the internets, it has 125 calories. However, the same site says it can be burned off by 26 minutes of ballroom dancing. Hot diggity!)
buckyswife
August 29th, 2009 at 11:45 pm
433 mollificent: So it was you! Thanks! Yes, superfine sugar on the rim, and some kind of Japanese lemon–yazu? Anyway, it was crisp and not too sweet. As for the diet–well, it’s Restaurant Week here in DC, and so I’m giving myself a few break nights for that. Back to deprivation tomorrow. Either that, or some ballroom dancing.
Muffaroo
August 30th, 2009 at 12:18 am
Let us go then, you and I, ?
When the dying sun spreads across the sky ?
Like a square of unseasoned denatured salmon…
Shuffle now, through certain antiseptic halls
?With mustard-colored walls?
For late-night chats, obligatory notes
At fifth-rate restaurants named for boats
Footsteps that follow in weary attitudes
And smeary platitudes?
To lead you to a predetermined result…
Don’t ask yourself what you should do.
Let Aunt Mary decide for you.
In the room the women went past
Whispering of Aldo Kelrast.
Aviatrix
August 30th, 2009 at 12:25 am
Just got in from work and I can now look at today’s comics. I too was jolted by the anachronism of fried Oreos in the flashback. Lack of effort destroys the illusion. “ICW.”
Mark Trail delivers as expected. Under the T: Alligator. It’s not talking, but I heartily agree with the poster who suggested that leeway and alcohol go well with MT. Under the R: poaching and/or recruitment into a criminal organization.
I think Ismarelda Girl predicted exactly this. Meanwhile @AeroSquid #364, with your Monday to Friday forecast, you’re talking M-F of completely different weeks, spread out over a month or two, right?
Dr. Weird
August 30th, 2009 at 12:29 am
Inspired by Mufaroo at 430, I went to look at Fred Basset to see if he had one… and today (Saturday)’s strip was just… there. It was definitely existing.
http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComic.mpl?date=2009/8/29&name=Fred_Basset
GoComics had the tagline for him though.
“Any reader who has ever been a “dog’s best friend” will recognize and love Fred. Fred is a wry and witty observer of life, finding funnybones and turning up smiles on three continents.”
Sure, right.
Dingo
August 30th, 2009 at 12:29 am
Oh, dear God. Scott has the wide eyes of a virginal Korean war bride. He should see a doctor… oh. Wait. He should see a good friend to slap him outta this story arc.
Katya
August 30th, 2009 at 12:30 am
buckyswife and mollificent:
At the moment, I am strongly considering the consumption of some wine and dark chocolate. But, as always, I have to weigh the wonderfulness of those delicacies against the major unpleasantness of my frequent migraines.
I’m thinking just a little chocolate, perhaps…
Migraines or no, however, I will enjoy a Lemon Drop before I die! :)
Dingo
August 30th, 2009 at 12:34 am
Katya, my sweet bambette. Go for a moscato with dark chocolate, merlot with milk chocolate, and a glass of potato-ade with the UPS driver with a “package” for you.
This being Saturday night, you can always put some shoes in the washer and press yourself against it during spin cycle. Any drink will suffice.
mollificent
August 30th, 2009 at 12:35 am
#435 Muffaroo: *wild applause* Bravo! I particularly like the last two lines. :)
Katya
August 30th, 2009 at 12:39 am
Interesting that the subject of religion has played such a major role here today.
Also coincidental (but, are there ever really any coincidences in life, or does everything happen for a reason? Ha, ha!):
I think my computer needs an exorcism. The way it has been behaving leads me to believe that it may be possessed!
Any Catholic out there know a good priest who performs the aforementioned? :)
Kallista
August 30th, 2009 at 12:40 am
Katya: Thank you for identifying a few pilots/air crew in our midst. I am a helicopter student-pilot, (a “she-pilot” according to The Onion’s historical article on Amelia Earhart) and, of course, in love with all things aviation. I’m a grad student at Embry-Riddle, but I still can’t get my fill of flying. In the air I feel 25, but in my life on the ground, I’m a mid-40’s college English instructor. I used to recommend this blog for its fine writing to all my students, but I had to stop doing that. Something about not wanting to explain “half-seated turkey legs” to the dean. “Well, it’s a poultry-based critical thinking unit, sir. The turkey leg task–which may I remind you was only HALF seated, and, therefore, suggests Lev Vygotsky’s concept of the ‘zone of proximal development’–scaffolds into the next assignment requiring primary research into French rituals for eating chicken while deconstructing film.” And then he will have to say, “Well the students are putting up some squawk.”
Doug Puthoff
August 30th, 2009 at 12:41 am
8-30 FC: I’m now hoping for a Family-Circus Crankshaft crossover wherein Crankshaft tells the Keane kids life a piece of garbage, followied by the kids; suicide. If Batiuk had his way, it would happen.
Poteet
August 30th, 2009 at 12:54 am
# 326 John C. Fremont — I appreciate your interest. I think the moderator may have erased some of it, though, and at this point, I’d just as soon forget the rest. Telling the story here has helped me to exorcise it, so to speak:-). And thanks for your excellent STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN riff — made me laugh.
Katya
August 30th, 2009 at 12:54 am
#440 — Dingo:
Why, thank you for those suggestions. I don’t need the UPS driver and his “delivery,” however, as I’ve already got the hottest man on earth in my bed each night. That being my husband, of course!
And, um…I’m just a touch migraine-y right now, so my brain is not functioning with its usual brilliance. Would you be so kind as to expand just a bit on your second paragraph for me? I’m not seeming to comprehend its full import.
It does sound dirty, though, and I’m sure it is, coming from you! :)
Dingo
August 30th, 2009 at 1:02 am
Kallista, thank you for warming the cockles of my heart tonight. You see, I have only taken one course in English since graduating high school. It was first semester of college, the semester I almost bombed out (new to beer and sex). I envy those of you with such a command of the language that you can teach it to others. Having an English instructor invoke my “half-seated turkey leg” is an honor. And, I understand. I have a short documentary on the life of Chief Shabbona on my YouTube site. I also have my mashup of Britney Spears and Oliver!, Peter Gabriel and Frankenstein, and three of my friends debating how many men it would take to fill Rod Stewart’s belly. I’ve come to find out that Illinois high school teachers are sending their students to my site to watch the Shabbona piece. Lord knows what happens if they watch the others.
Zla'od
August 30th, 2009 at 1:04 am
“End of the month special” = menstrual blood smeared all over Hagar’s beard. Yarrgh !!!
Poteet
August 30th, 2009 at 1:08 am
# 408 curlyfries — Interesting. I grew up near a St. Teresa shrine. And back when I was eleven, I kept my must-be-willing-to-die belief to myself. Too bad I never heard about the felt-no-pain theory.
I do like that Billy Joel song:-).
# 411 Islamorada Girl — That definitely adds something to my image of Mary, Queen of Scots. I wonder if the headsman had to chase it down.
# 431 buckyswife — I never went through a want-to-be-a-nun period. But I think there was a brief period of wanting to be a nature-loving hermit, sort of a Saint Francis kind of hermit, but almost frighteningly beautiful. Oh yeah.
Katya
August 30th, 2009 at 1:08 am
#443:
Kallista! Another “she-pilot!” I hadn’t heard that term before — how patronizing.
May all your flying dreams come true, and don’t let any male pilots keep you down, or perhaps more aptly, “grounded.”
If all you aviators out there keep coming out of the woodwork, I’m afraid I just might have to start flying again. You are evoking such memories in me — memories I have attempted to suppress for a long time.
So what’s it like flying helicopters? That’s something I’ve never done.
Dingo
August 30th, 2009 at 1:11 am
What you have to love about the Dark Ages is that, today, most of these saints would be considered batshit insane but back then it was religious exuberance. Sort of like Glenn Beck but toned down a notch.
gnome de blog
August 30th, 2009 at 1:16 am
I’m a little out of touch (I’ve been sick), so I’m kinda catching up. All I can say is when Barreto decides to do ugly, he does Fist o’ Justice ugly. That guy is some specimen.
Katya
August 30th, 2009 at 1:26 am
#447 — Dingo:
In my humble opinion, good writers are born, not made. Or perhaps they create themselves to some degree.
You are a wonderful example, I think, of what I’m trying to express. There’s just something ineffable about talent of all kinds.
Which is certainly not to say that there is no place for good English instructors. God knows we need them desperately, as it seems most folks today have difficulty in putting even a single correct sentence together.
Niall
August 30th, 2009 at 1:27 am
431. buckyswife: not leave my doorstep? Of course she would. I’d invite her inside. :)
439. katya: a friend of mine has discovered that his frequent migraines CAN be cured.. by extra-quality dark chocolate. (Like, much higher than Lindt.) He’s always surprised when it happens. All gone at once, too.
And now, after friends online and I all MST3K-ed The Creeping Menace, a truly horridly stupid movie in which the soundtrack was lost and a narrator(!) recounted what was going on screen (kinda like a really stupid comic book), and I wondered if being impaired would help take the movie better, but many swigs of Redbreast irish whiskey later and no, and it doesn’t at all improve the experience except that I’m not tipsy and wow able to type still… yeahhhh… maybe I should stop now
Katya
August 30th, 2009 at 1:30 am
#452 — gnome de blog:
True dat!
And I’ve been sick as well, which is exactly why I haven’t been out of touch. Some might even suggest that I’ve been a little too much in touch lately! Ha, ha!
Hope you’re feeling better! :)
Dingo
August 30th, 2009 at 1:35 am
Hints for the Dating Challenged
Gentleman, have you been feeling unsuccessful in dating marriageable women? There are signs given off by the female species to let you know which is a sleeper, a keeper, or a black widow creeper.
1) Does she add gender-based pronouns to occupations? She-pilot, Laundry goddess, or Cunt-rrific caribou tamer. This women will hand you your genitals on a plate. No garnish.
2) While you’re off trying to help orphans, the less fortunate, or your children, does she meddle in the lives of others?
3) Upon approaching her for a kiss, does she turn her head like the RCA Victor dog and make you plant it on her neck? Then she’s a WHORE.
Next month: jokes you can play on your buddies with a turkey leg.
Katya
August 30th, 2009 at 1:43 am
#454 — Niall:
Niall, my friend, you are tipsy! Take my word for it; the signs are clear!
Wish I could be a bit more than just tipsy right now, but there are those migraines…
But, wait…Dr. Niall has prescribed some excellent medicine! I must be a good patient and go try it right now. Then perhaps some wine…
P.S. Seriously funny comment to buckyswife!
Katya
August 30th, 2009 at 1:59 am
#456 — Dingo:
Dingo, Dingo, Dingo…
Kallista and I did not make up that term “she-pilot,” as is clear from her comment. And I think, if I may be so bold as to speak for her as well as myself, that we both find it derogatory.
Why equate strong, intelligent women with ballbreakers? Speaking for myself, I am nothing of the kind, and I love men. Seriously, love ‘em…
Ha, ha, ha!
curlyfries
August 30th, 2009 at 2:32 am
#454 Naill, much as I’d love to swallow truffles like pills to keep ‘em away, I’d be really wary of recommending your friend’s chocolate remedy to migraine sufferers. Chocolate is a notorious migraine-trigger because cocoa is a vasodilator – it increases blood flow by expanding blood vessels. You want to constrict already enlarged and dilated blood vessels in the brain during a migraine attack, not engorge them further – which is why a number of migraine remedies have caffeine, ergotomine or sumatriptan (all vasoconstrictors) in them.
#439 Katya, if alcohol kicks off migraines, try having some coffee and eating something (not cheese) before you try a lemon drop and see if you can keep your serotonin levels up that way. Avoid chocolate martinis and phenol-rich red wine unless you’re some kind of masochist.
#458 And FYI, um, I think your sarcaso-meter needs to be calibrated, it’s not detecting what it should. Dingo’s tongue is planted firmly in his cheek.
Where else it’s been is anyone’s guess, heh. ;)
Dingo
August 30th, 2009 at 2:38 am
Katya, check out the final panel in Sunday’s Mary Worth. That’s what I was going on. You may have your sarcasm settings placed too low. Then again, you are new to this site. Read twice, speak once. Saves you a lot of apologies.
About twenty years ago, I got a job as a man’s admin assistant. I should’ve known where things were going when, in the interview, he asked how I felt about doing “woman’s work.” About a year later, he got made at me and began screaming that I was just like his wife. I said, “There’s a BIG difference between your wife and me.”
“What’s THAT?”
I looked at him and said, “I highly doubt you can fuck HER for eight hours a day.”
We both stood in silence while a large sucking sound emanated from the cubicles outside his door. He smiled at me and whispered, “That was good. I’m gonna remember that one.” He then shouted for me to get out of his office.
Ah, good times at $22,000 per year.
Katya
August 30th, 2009 at 2:53 am
#459 — curlyfries:
You’re right — my sarcasm-detecting meter is out of whack tonight.
Migraines tend to mess with my brain that way…
But I’m still compos mentis enough to appreciate your wit in that last sentence!
Katya
August 30th, 2009 at 3:08 am
#460 — Dingo:
But Dingo, I haven’t even read Sunday’s Mary Worth yet! I’m blameless, I swear!
And your story was funny. That boss of yours sounds a little unglued. Screaming at you that you were just like his wife? Weird!
Your comeback was perfect.
curlyfries
August 30th, 2009 at 3:10 am
#461 Katya, I’ve learned from personal experience not to post while drunk, hung over or with a migraine, you’ll misinterpret everything. It makes great sense to take Dingo’s advice and think twice, post once (especially as you’re new here). Since the rest of his post was outrageously funny as usual, you should consider the whole and not take things quite so literally. Besides, if he really were a dyed in the wool misogynist, he’d have been told off long ago! ;)
Katya
August 30th, 2009 at 3:28 am
curlyfries and Dingo:
Oh, man, I’m in trouble again!
I think that perhaps, in the words of the tipsy Niall, it would be a good idea to stop now.
Tomorrow is a new day, and I resolve to be a better person and to work on upping my tongue-in-cheek detection skills!
Jessica
August 30th, 2009 at 3:54 am
oh my, in panel 5 of MW, Mary has that horrified look like she’s thinking of the horror of the downtown women’s shelter!
Ed Power, My Cage writer-guy
August 30th, 2009 at 4:18 am
Wow. The Norm and Ashley thing always gets a lot of responses. Even our e-mail spikes.
I can’t wait until you to see next week now. :)
Baka Gaijin
August 30th, 2009 at 4:21 am
Sunday’s Strips
Spiderman: Logan wants some actress pussy. Now!!!
Cathy: As Samuel Johnson didn’t say: “The road to hell is paved with good intentions.” Michael Jackson: “Ease on down, ease on down the road…” Your handbasket is waiting, Cathy.
Mary Worth, Toby panels: Exactly what proof is potato-ade?
Mary Worth, final panel: OMG! Detective
PrinterHewlett decapitated Adrian! Luckily it hasn’t affected her sparkling personality one bit.Lockhorns, middle panel: “Pauline” was “Paul” about 6 months ago. Am I right?
Beetle Bailey: Mr. Foofram, the MP’s are here to talk to you about impersonating a general.
Pluggers: Just swing that huge magnet, Dogman, just swing it 90 degrees…Everyone’ll think Bearman had another heart attack in while doing “it” in the woods. “It” being “Cleveland steamer.”
Alfred E. Neuman
August 30th, 2009 at 4:22 am
#394 commodorejohn, #391 sugarpie— I would be happy to elaborate on the idea of Bernice in a Catholic girls’ school using some of my Berniceophilic lecherisms. The image of my favorite ravenously incestuous bisexual harridan wearing a Mary Katherine Gallagher-style microskirted uniform interacting with similarly nubile young women, is, uh, stimulating. After much thought, my take on this scenario is…uh, oh…zzzt!…neurons out of control…homina, homina, homina…
Baka Gaijin
August 30th, 2009 at 4:29 am
#322 buckyswife: Add me to the Misawa and Yokota contingent, not so much on the Japanese decor.
Baka Gaijin
August 30th, 2009 at 4:35 am
Slylock Fox, mystery: Oh, noes, I call major shenanigans. Children are supposed to be able to identify the different grades of metals in a poorly-lit dungeon? Cheah, right.
Slylock Fox, mystery 2: Wouldn’t it have been easier for the Fox to just use that bubbling mystery acid on the table? You know, the liquid that’s eating right through glass. Metal should give it no problems.
Alfred E. Neuman
August 30th, 2009 at 4:49 am
#466 Ed Power— Welcome to the late shift. Of all the comics we ‘Mudges blog about, yours is definitely the “MyCagiest” I’m looking forward to the adventures of Norm and Ashley. It has to be better than the gruesome “romances” we’ve seen lately in other comics: Lawrence and Delilah, Brad and Toni, Elizabeth and Anthony, Luann and anybody, and Sarge and Beetle.
Mr. O'Malley
August 30th, 2009 at 5:45 am
All of you were talking about beheadings and now this shows up!
It turns out Mary was right when she said “there are too many things in the world that are not right!”
Like for example Detective DateTheWitness has turned out to be a psychopathic killer who has decapitated Adrian and is now having conversations with her detached cranium.
“Oh Adrian, to me you are like a saint!”
The only mercy is that her hair stayed on.
mr 12 oz can
August 30th, 2009 at 8:26 am
#454 the movie was called the creeping terror not the creeping menace . it featured what looked like 10 guys with a rug on top of them as the terror .
Talking Squirrel
August 30th, 2009 at 8:35 am
#473 mr 12 oz can: Was it a rug? Or was it Rex Morgan’s wrestling mat, all shaggy with MRSA and having ensnared the entire Roopville Community College wrestling team? Flesh-eating bacteria can’t swim! Run for the river!
MW: Well, when they said heads would roll, I wasn’t envisioning this. I’m reminded of last week’s Non Sequitur. But shame on me for insulting the intelligence of drunk mantises.
My Cage: Missed a chance at notoriety by not allowing Ashley to label Norm the “most Norman-Platypussiest” in the world. Oh well, Ashley’s just gonna carry home that sack of potatoes that life’s handed her — and make potato-ade.
Baka Gaijin
August 30th, 2009 at 8:45 am
#409 commodorejohn: I know not of what you speak. Whatever is in that linked post that’s supposed to be relevant, I can’t see it. You know, like hysterical blindness. I’m trying to develop that for the current Dick Tracy
scaryevilclownstoryline.AeroSquid
August 30th, 2009 at 8:51 am
Damn ! All the ‘good’ comics are down on the interwebs ! Big red X. Do NOT make me go out into the snow to get a coupon laden Sunday paper !!!!
The Observer
August 30th, 2009 at 9:24 am
Jeffy has some EPIC cankles.
AeroSquid
August 30th, 2009 at 9:33 am
BB: The Bozo’s are coming to Camp Swampy to finally put it on the next BRAC (Base Realignment and Closure) list. General’s Foofram, Cannon and Grenadepin of the 1st Bozo Battalion are recommending that Swampy be converted into a Section 8 housing project or an H1N1 Processing & Isolation Center and all the troops be relocated to Camp Sandy in Iraq. Wow, Sarge ! Better do a little more than get them coffee and local prostitutes at this juncture.
Blondie: For legal reasons, Herb cannot hire a neighborhood kid. Something about a bad decision made by Tootsie one sultry day last summer after consuming way too many Tequilatinis ™.
Dilbert: Wow. I have actually sat in on meetings like that.
FW: That’s it. Les’ Bukkake-Spiderman fantasies are where I draw the line.
‘Shaft: Great, Batiuk. You put them into a Diabetic coma. Good job.
Luann: “Now let’s illegally download MP3’s, practice French kissing and upload it to YouTube ™.”
PBS: Did Stephan read yesterday’s CC posts ?
Zit’s: “Yes, Jeremy. I’m very busy on the computer….”
“What’s a MILF ?”
“It’s a work acronym.”
“Hey ! Is that Mom ? Why is she dressed like a Klingon ?”
“Jeremy ! Go outside and play !”
“Klingons don’t have light sabers ! That’s lame ! Mom’s lame! You’re lame !”
Curtis: Hey ! Bill Mumy did this first ! And a ‘Mighty Fine’ job you did, Bill. Mighty Fine.
H&L: Mr. Thurston was ALOT funnier when he was blind, stinking drunk. Remember the broken blood vessels on his nose ? *sigh* Good times.
MT: The ‘Methodical cud-chewing, sleepy-eyed cow’ is Elsie ™ ! ELSIE ™ ! Elrod copied it off a can of condensed milk !
MW: Meanwhile……Adrian’s disconnected head retains a smile… even in death.
FC: I can’t stop thinking about Steven King for some reason.
Niall
August 30th, 2009 at 9:34 am
Sunday.. bloody next door building’s fire alarm going off and sirens waking me up way too soon Sunday…
..and wham. After 8:45am, all colour comics are broken on the Chron site, Sunday and weekday alike. Same with the same comics the Chron carries over at the Seattle PI site, though others are visible. The Albany timesunion has them; however, the ad.yieldmanager.net gives a delay of anything between ten and forty seconds opening each comic. At least they’re zoomable, a boon for reading Slylock Fox (in fact it’s the only way I read the Sunday Sly.)
Foxtrot: What I love is the very accurate framed postcard or photo of San Francisco in the background. I’ve been there. That’s even more than what I saw of the Golden Gate bridge.
One Big Happy: A rarity: a title panel that’s directly related to the rest of the strip, in fact to the motivation of the rest of the strip. Well done! I think this will finally make me add it to my chron page.
(clicks on Dick Tracy and dreads) Wow. You could search cops in any timeline or dimension analysing anything using whatever equipment, and I bet you still couldn’t find even one of them remotely using what is depicted in panel 1. Also: why do I dread that the FBI’s best operative, along with the ugly profile there, makes me think they’ll put Fearless Fosdick on the case? That would be the icing on the ugly cake of this storyline.
FC: Are the Keanes leaving children and parents watching this panel interpret it as a sign of doom and gloom, or a sign of hope, as per their personal fears and hopes towards the new school year? That would be a stroke of artistic genius in reader involvement – which is why I must conclude that thes just forgot to add the malapropism before sending it out. Because otherwise there is simply no joke, which is admittedly different than usual when it’s just not funny.
Hagar: the DTs finally hit full force. Will it next tell him to use his axe on his wife and open her own big fat stomach to feed him, thus ending the strip in a pool of blood and gore? Please??
Hi & Lois: Yes, it is that bad. In fact, it’s like a cruel, demented mind is taking great pleasure in torturing these people every single day, making their lives as miserable as it can figure out, and displaying it for another dimension to see it to share the horror…
Judge Parker: I’m admiring the colouring job. It truly is wonderful.
Mark Trail: Elrod teases True Fable with only a silhouette of a mountain goat.
Mary Worth: Oh my. Pure bats :[ fodder and a gorgeous final shot of Detective holding Adrian’s engorged head à la Hamlet and Yorick, because’ there’s no human way that head is attached to any body. With a chop-chop, the Detective made sure his love for Adrian will remain eternal.
Phantom: Well, that’s sure a cheap shot to resolve the triangle. King King doesn’t have to decide anything now. Did the writer read all the shipping entries on tvtropes (not linked for your sanity) and decide to see how many he could cram in one storyline? If so, there’s one flaw – the readers have to care enough to ’ship first.
Rex Morgan: I’m sorry, but not even Baretto could have made this scene interesting.
Sally Forth: I’ll be magnanimous and say that many children Hil’s age do indeed believe that seasons are dictated by calendars, and I won’t get in my rant about creators believing it. …They’re just solstices, not seasons–* *ahem* sorry.
Slylock: Okay, if Bonnie & BooBoo isn’t a shout-out to a certain mudgeon, I don’t know what is. :) :) Also, I wonder how many will think of the Sly solution as “saw his leg off” first.
My Cage: (I always leave the best for last on Sundays) Doing this will ensure that Norm doesn’t look closely in his car, his eye on her, making the prank work. That girl is deviously clever. Also: kiss already. :)
AeroSquid
August 30th, 2009 at 9:35 am
467. Baka Gaijin. Damn it ! I rally need to look at other posts !
One-eyed Wolfdog
August 30th, 2009 at 9:36 am
This is why God gave you a
hostsfile.AeroSquid
August 30th, 2009 at 9:37 am
…’really’.
Doug Puthoff
August 30th, 2009 at 9:42 am
Some Priest is still masturbating over the Friday Family Circus.
Niall
August 30th, 2009 at 9:56 am
459. curlyfries: I wasn’t trying to tout chocolate as a migraine curer for everyone, just that it was actually bizarre that it worked for that one friend. It’s also interesting to see how such close molecules as caffeine (vasoconstrictor) and theobromine (vasodilator) work so differently, even diametrically opposed, on the human body.
460. Dingo: and now I must refrain from laughing out loud in my own home because I don’t want to wake the neighbours up this early. All the neighbours. For a block around. See, I’ve been an office admin for all of my working life. Yeah, I definitely know the feeling, though the worse I’ve gotten was a letter addressed to me as “Ms Niall” and “Dear madam” as if there never existed any male admins. I only got abused once, and that was for two days (by a supervisor who wanted me to fill out my timesheet to the minute for breaks and lunches – or else expected people to actually wait and leave/return at precise hours and quarter hour marks), so I know I’ve been lucky.
466. Ed Power: WOOHOO! Ohh, oh you are making my day, sir, indeed you are! So you’ve set-up a natural and believable set of possible expectations in the behaviour of your fictional creations enough that we care. Can I possibly give a highest compliment than that? No, I can’t think of one.
473. mr 12 oz can: indeed, I had the title wrong, thank you. it’s just that after watching it, “terror” was the furthest result from our minds. :)
474. Talking Squirrel: Norman Platypussiest? THAT made me lough out loud!!
478. AeroSquid: that makes me want to see today’s Zits much much less. I’m happy I don’t normally read it.
481. one-eyed wolfdog: I have adblockplus, is that what you meant by the hosts file?
Oh yeah, click my name for my latest youtube video I put together of me dancing at my birthday party. Unlike last night, I was completely sober…
AeroSquid
August 30th, 2009 at 9:59 am
The Lockhorn’s Sunday Medley:
#1. “Yeah, because that’s what I want to now: Lick stamps and envelopes. Loretta, do you SEE what’s stepping into the sea at this moment ? Are you BLIND ?”
#2. “Yeah. Loretta, we need to talk about something.”
#3. Leroy doesn’t like flash orgies.
#4. “Salmon squares, Leroy. Leftover from the Charterstone Key Party. I had them in my purse until the ‘The Heat’ died down.”
#5. Ha, Ha ! Loretta wants Leroy to die.
mordock999
August 30th, 2009 at 10:00 am
Today’s Luann 08/30/09 – The REST of the Story -
Bernice – “Luann, you WORK at the Library, right?”
Luann – “Yeah”.
Bernice – “THE Library that Elwood made a $500,000 DONATION to, Right?”
Luann – “Yeah,so?”
Bernice – “SO? Doesn’t is BOTHER you that he made a donation to the Library that You happen to work at and NO other???”
Luann – “Nope.”
Bernice -”AND, that he puts you in skimpy costumes, KNOWS where you LIVE, and literally ‘STALKS’ you EVERYWHERE you GO!?”
Luann – “NO, Bernice! I think you are over REACTING! Elwood just LIKES the Library and Wanted some new and fresh, like me, to wear the Zeye costume. I’m SURE he has NO interest in me OTHER than THAT!”
Elwood (Coming OUT from under Luann’s bed) – “Thats RIGHT, Dahlin’! My interest in Luann is STRICTLY Pro-fessey-nal!!!”
________________________
DEATH to TJ!!!
ChattyGenes
August 30th, 2009 at 10:18 am
To TRUE FABLE.
Goat silhouette (1st panel) and Goat mention (3rd panel) in the Sunday MARK TRAIL.
Who knows but what Elrod may be working up to a Sunday strip all about goats?!
AeroSquid
August 30th, 2009 at 10:21 am
Marmaduke: Sorry, Mr. Hitler. Marm has been tenderizing you for the last few miles and a helmet will NOT stop him from cracking open your skull to get at your sweet, sweet brain meat.
AeroSquid
August 30th, 2009 at 10:24 am
Howard Huge (from the Parade Magazine pullout section): I don’t read Howard Huge, but would’nt it be cool if HH and Marmaduke were pitted against each other in a Alpha Dog death match ? Winner eats ‘owners’ ?
Dingo
August 30th, 2009 at 10:29 am
Mary Worth: With all our talk here about saints, I find it interesting that Moy & Giella have cast Adrian as St. Catherine of Sienna.
Ed Powers, you have a great strip! I’m a latecomer to My Cage but I enjoy your sense of humor. Plus, Norm Platypus reminds me a lot of me (in a PG setting). The only difference is I found love with Max Terrier.
Niall, if my Aunt Judy (former Pork Queen of Bureau County) saw you dancing, she’d hide the children and the breakables. You show a young lady of ill repute that video, mention your stamina, and you’ll have outdoor bathtubs in your future, you betcha.
(I was gonna write “young ladies who are not nice” but I wondered how many persons here would get a reference to the original story of Gentlemen Prefer Blondes.)
mr 12 oz can
August 30th, 2009 at 10:33 am
becca spent all last week talking to the creepy flyfisherman when did she catch this peter with the girl with boobs dont quit. as for the last panal of mary worth shes on her knees or her head has been cut off . moy you kinky devil lem loi
True Fable
August 30th, 2009 at 11:04 am
Jack Elrod, you fucking tease.
Muffaroo
August 30th, 2009 at 11:07 am
AeroSquid @489 – When my daughter was young enough to be into Clifford the Big Red Bore, I always imagined that Clifford sometimes accidentally had to pick Marmaduke out of his paw, and had to watch where he sat lest he get Howard Huge stuck in his butt.
Haven’t read anything today, but I keep imagining fireworks when Detective Scott comes around with body outline chalk on his pants seat and fingerprint powder on his collar: “You’ve been seeing some other victim, haven’t you? Haven’t you??”
AeroSquid
August 30th, 2009 at 11:13 am
And now a word from one of CC’s many sponsors:
PotatoAde ™
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3423/3871077352_0c3a07e9dd_o.jpg
Baka Gaijin
August 30th, 2009 at 11:16 am
#494 AeroSquid: Ha ha ha ha HA!
AeroSquid
August 30th, 2009 at 11:16 am
493. Muffaroo: Clifford was a construct of Satan. I shielded my daughter from him in exchange for the lesser evil known as Barney.
True Fable
August 30th, 2009 at 11:22 am
#493 Muffaroo & 496 AeroSquid – My kids self-rejected both Clifford AND Barney. In fact, Sweet Fable swears he will not marry anyone who thinks it’s a good idea to expose a toddler to either one of those cloying buggers. Galevav plans to raise his kids on Manga. Kitten votes for Mr. Rogers, who at least was sincere in his goodness.
Me, I’m going to teach the little rascals how to snark on comics, at first opportunity. >:D
AeroSquid
August 30th, 2009 at 11:25 am
497. True Fable. Early on, I noticed that once a child entered puberty on Barney, they suddenly vanished. I think Barney either ate them or sent them 26,000,000 years into the past to be eaten by his relatives.
buckyswife
August 30th, 2009 at 11:56 am
435 muffaroo: That’s…. fabulous. Somewhere, ol’ T.S. is spinning and muttering Sanskrit curses.
449 Poteet: You mean, a hermit like Rat? But would you have the cheerleder, or, say, the running back?
453 katya: I’ll respectfully disagree (a little) on the talent bit—yes, some are born with talent, but good writing can be learned (otherwise, my profession is pretty darned useless)—and all writers work at it—even someone as talented as Dingo (or Josh, or any of the other numerous talented folk on this site)! It’s rarely easy.
469 Baka Gaijin: I loved Misawa—so pretty in that part of Honshu! And such a nice little town, too. (I taught at Edgren HS there.)
Niall
August 30th, 2009 at 12:02 pm
490. Dingo: I hadn’t seen that most famous Gil Thorp scene reenactment! Most nice and funny! Also, I never break anything (except my toes), and have never had a dancing accident (other than, yes, breaking my toe by skipping a step – I’m special), but I do have the consequence at clubs of often having a large area around me to dance in. I count that as a plus. :) I did once have a woman (reputation unknown) outright pick me up after an evening in a club to crash an apartment rave. Fun times. :)
494. AeroSquid: Bwahahahahahaha!!! Beautiful!
buckyswife
August 30th, 2009 at 12:05 pm
S. Fox: A chain made of a super-hard metal, huh? Well, here’s the solution: First you strap a guy to a table and drain his energy and put a goofy helmet/mask on him for no reason. Then a “super”-hero shows up. And then the “super”-hero’s wife shows up for no reason and gets in the way. And then the guy on the table gets his energy back and gets in the way. And then….—Stan Lee.
JP: Damned paparazzi, with their unattractive facial features and their non-idealized physiques and their need for money! They’re vermin, that’s what they are!
MW: Oh, now I see why Mary has been looking so world-weary lately: she really IS world-weary. While Cardboard-Cutout Mary puts on a happy smile in panel 3, Socially Aware Mary rebukes Toby, who’s had enough potato-ade and is literally letting her hair down: “No, the world is a terrible place: Injustice, pollution, disease, crime, love-making to decapitated heads….”
buckyswife
August 30th, 2009 at 12:11 pm
MT: In the Elrodian System of Values, just as “being killed and made into a hat” equals “popular,” “consuming enough food so that you’re ready to be slaughtered and eaten” equals “lazy.” It’s a harsh system, that’s true, but one that works out quite nicely for the humans involved.
Calico
August 30th, 2009 at 12:15 pm
#409 – Yaaaargh! I had forgotten about that last panel.
I wonder if Gerald eventually spontaneously combusted while sitting at his drum kit.
I wish that after reading today’s FOOB, that Mike would combust as well.
Calico
August 30th, 2009 at 12:16 pm
#502 – Snnnnk…the original fast food, brought to you by Jack Elrod.
Harpa
August 30th, 2009 at 12:18 pm
This is why I love The Comics Curmudgeon — in the space of one weekend I have learned:
1. One needs three miracles to achieve sainthood.
2. Funky Winkerbean was once funny.
3. A heavy-metal version of “Rasputin” exists.
(mind you, I’m still skeptical about item 2…)
Calico
August 30th, 2009 at 12:23 pm
#501 – Glad you noticed the Head on the Bench ™ as well. I thought I might be going insane faster than my doctor predicted.
MW – Panel 5 – Mary wishes the U.N. would consult her more often regarding pressing world issues.
Aviatrix
August 30th, 2009 at 12:28 pm
I really hope this is the final Mary Worth wrap up strip. In the next story arc, Mary dons a spandex costume in order to meddle with disease, crime and injustice. And maybe she can get Peter Parker and Mary Jane to ‘only connect.’
Weirdly, I always think of Dingo as female. I guess it was a gender I assigned on first reading and nothing that has transpired since has managed to dislodge that.
And while I haven’t been offended by any of the posts here lately, the introspective apology posts are getting on my nerves.
buckyswife
August 30th, 2009 at 12:33 pm
507 Aviatrix: I guessed I’d always sort of assumed that Mary DID have a spandex costume on under her lilac polyester. (But would it be lilac, salmon, or orange? There’s the real mystery!)
And maybe there should be an “introspective apology post” thread on the forums….. =-)
mollificent
August 30th, 2009 at 12:34 pm
MC: Oh, yeah, it’s love all right. Sweet, sweet third-grade love. :)
Phantom: OK, they shot her…where? Is that dress made of some magical fabric that doesn’t show bloodstains? Man, talk about a moneymaker!
(And it looks like good ol’ Rex is going to be spending his wedding night on the couch…)
RMMD: Can we get an intervention together for the coloring monkeys? The crack addiction is getting WAY out of hand.
JP: See, Rex Morgan coloring idiots? THIS is how to do it right. Today’s strip is gorgeous and filled with exciting action! Kewl!
Spider-Dork: Yeah, because it’s not like Spidey can use his webs to, you know, catch MJ or anything. *eyeroll*
Shoe: The entire history of the search for extraterrestrial life called. They want their joke back. NOW.
(#466: Wooooooot!)
gnome de blog
August 30th, 2009 at 12:38 pm
490, Dingo: is that Bureau County, Illinois, by chance? Are you a Princeton boy?
buckyswife
August 30th, 2009 at 12:38 pm
479 Niall—Excellent Family Circus analysis! I will note that Male Keane seems to be going rigid as he eyes the buses, perhaps a prelude to his back-to-school catatonic state.
Dingo
August 30th, 2009 at 12:55 pm
Wow. Over 500 posts. If these were S&H Green Stamps, we’d have enough for the clubhouse by now.
Aviatrix, #507 is an intriguing post because I have done the same. I’m not sure what type of woman you know — perhaps girls who are not nice — but I shudder to think of the woman who’d write some of the things I have… especially the half-seated turkey leg (a role for Goldie Hawn in her prime?). Every so often Josh will post a photo of one of the ‘mudgeons in some exotic locale or at an event and rarely does the scribe match the image of them that I’ve carried in my mind. Well, Jamus the Bartendar looked like I pictured him but was missing the naked Asian girl carried over his shoulder as I suspect fills his Saturday evenings. (see here by scrolling down past the quotes) Ah. A great night. I believe Gadge Cubic avoids posting here under his old name because I mooned and swooned over the hirsute coquette like a 12-year-old acolyte in the first blush of love.
gnome de blog, #510: I’m an Ottawa boy (LaSalle county). That’s why the Gail Martin t-shirt I designed and is for sale on Josh’s CafePress site includes Starved Rock State Park as a location. My Aunt Judy, bless her heart, grew up in the hinterlands of Princeton, regal home to reigning pork queens. Are you a local? Shall we arrange of ‘mudgeon meetup at Starved Rock or Matthiesen? How about Ripp’s in Ladd?
Poteet
August 30th, 2009 at 12:55 pm
MW — I must reluctantly admire the warped genius behind this seven-panel strip that makes me want to barf for seven different reasons.
TheDiva
August 30th, 2009 at 12:57 pm
Curtis: Only, you know, not all that funny.
HotC: Boy, are they behind the times. Half the department stores around here already have their Halloween stuff out.
Marvin: Nature itself is trying to dispose of Marvin.
MW: Either Detective Sherbertblazer is a) a vampire about to go in for the kill or b) clinically examining the huge honkin’ zit on Adrian’s neck.
buckyswife
August 30th, 2009 at 12:59 pm
512 Dingo: I did assume you were male (for lots of reasons beyond the bawdy posts!), but that’s not how I pictured you at all! You look so… so harmless!
Like Aviatrix, I do have gender/real-person impressions embedded in my brain, most of which are probably wrong….
bats :[
August 30th, 2009 at 12:59 pm
St. Therese of Lisieux (“the Little Flower”) is also designated one of the few female Doctors of the Church, for her religious writings. She died in 1897, definitely a modern saint. A few years ago, her reliquary made a tour of the U.S. and was in Tucson for several days. For no other reason than we do this sort of thing, mr. bats :[ and I went to see it. Very pretty, kept until a plexiglass cover. Visitors could press an article of clothing or faith to the cover and the item would become a third-degree relic. mr. bats :[ took a rosary made for him by a mutual friend and relic-fied. That was pretty cool. (Bear in mind that mr. bats :[ is a non-practicing Jew. And he has a rosary. Huh.)
In 2007, a group of relics of the Nativity passed through Tucson (big Catholic population here, as you might guess), which included wood from The Manger, bits of clothing from Mary and Joseph and St. Elizabeth (Mary’s cousin, mother of John the Baptist) and bone fragments from the Magi. The Knights of Columbus, who sponsored and guarded the relics while they were here, even had a hard time keeping a straight face as to the authenticity of the relics. (They were definitely more “relics of faith” than the real deal. I think.) But mr. bats :[ rosary is now super-charged, a multi-third-degree relic.
And to prove that God has a sense of humor, mr. bats :[ hasn’t been struck by lightning yet.
Saints rock. Saint art rocks. St. Sebastian didn’t die from all those arrows shot into him; he eventually had to be dispatched via decapitation. And how can you not love St. Lawrence, who was martyred on a gridiron. During his torture, he told his tormentors, “This side’s done, turn me over .”. Lawrence is the patron of comedians and cooks. Probably of all those guys that venerate Weber barbeques, even in the middle of a Wisconsin winter, too.
Poteet
August 30th, 2009 at 12:59 pm
MONDAY SPOILERS
ReFoob — In which we are reminded that the miserable inhabitants of Milbohell are forced to eat utter dreck, among their other afflictions.
Luann — In which a few of us may wonder again whether Elwood is in fact some sort of bizarre financial mass hallucination.
8th Man Fan
August 30th, 2009 at 1:07 pm
Baldo: YEOW! Nothing can be scarier than that drooling, spitting visage with those horrible, horrible bug eyes! Nothing!!
Marvin: I stand corrected.
FW: Spidey’s finest moment, overcoming all odds to free himself from a trap, the climax of Steve Ditko and Stan Lee’s classic Master Planner arc, equated with a father’s sense of relief when his child comes out of NICU? Sacrilege! A father’s reaction to events over which he had no control, a situation and outcome centered on the infant, medical staff, and mother, depicted as a heroic victory by he alone? Outrage! No matter from which angle you look at it, this seems way out of line.
S-M: Um, okay. Not so much Spidey’s finest moment here…
MW: “Alas, poor Adrian, I knew her well…”
Poteet
August 30th, 2009 at 1:10 pm
# 516 bats:[ — You’re right. Saints are fascinating. Someday I’ll take a few hours and indulge my former obsession again.
CRANKSHAFT — I gotta say I’m impressed by the size and scope of this county fair. In my area, county fairs are mostly small events where 4-H kids bring their livestock and veggies and pets to be judged. There aren’t any rides, and there are just a couple of food booths.
The Crankshaft county fair looked more like the Iowa State Fair, specifically, the part of it I tend to avoid. I can only do limited junk food, and can’t do rides.
Bryan
August 30th, 2009 at 1:14 pm
516, bats :[: St. Therese of Lisieux
In episode 815 of MST3K, Riding With Death, Mike wants her to represent him at his trial for being a destroyer of worlds. He got stuck with Bobo.
But mr. bats :[ rosary is now super-charged, a multi-third-degree relic.
How many times a day can he turn undead with it?
St. Lawrence
I’m a big fan of his seaway, too.
bats :[
August 30th, 2009 at 1:17 pm
Sunday! Sunday!
JP: darn it. I was hoping that Rocky would’ve gotten to the camera guy and used the camera as a suppository.
MT: the password is “eruction”.
MW: OMG. Words fail me. Mashups fail me. (Okay, so I’ve seen the original “Planet of the Apes” on two consecutive nights at our indie movie theater’s cult movie nights, which does provide some commentary: “It’s a madhouse! A madhouse!“.)
Phantom: what did they shoot her with? A laser? Unless her blood is navy blue, it’s a damned small bullet hole.
RMMD: Rex. Rex. Rex. Rex. Rex.
S-M: I <3 you, Logan.
(I'm lost with A&J and with F-)
Poteet
August 30th, 2009 at 1:18 pm
FW — I know nothing about how to flip images on computers, and if Batiuk thinks I’m going to wrench my neck to try to read this, that’s the best laugh he’s given me in years.
buckyswife
August 30th, 2009 at 1:37 pm
Mary caught herself just in time; she’d come too close, this time, to revealing her secret identity to Toby. Then again, Toby was so dim that she could expose herself in all her spandex glory, and Toby would only reply, “Is that a new outfit, Mary?” Still, it was difficult to keep up the inane patter, the trivial talk about pool parties and “favorite couples,” when there were so many real problems to be solved.
Mary surreptitiously checked her watch; she needed to get rid of Toby, and quick. Congress was squabbling over health care again. Now there was a dysfunctional relationship, one “worthy” of MegaMeddleMatron’s talents! Ha, she certainly made herself chuckle sometimes!
But what was this? Her meddle-sense tingling, Mary let Toby natter on and cast her attention elsewhere. Someone close to her might be in trouble—perhaps even a victim of violence! She sensed… great pain, great violence, but also great love and arousal. It was a volatile combination, and of course anything that smacked of sexuality turned Mary’s stomach. She forced herself to take a sip of her non-alcoholic potato-ade and fixed a simpering smile on her face. “Oh, Toby, I just remembered that my shift at the hospital was rescheduled, and I really must be going. We’ll continue this lovely chat some other time, dear.”
Calico
August 30th, 2009 at 1:43 pm
#516 – Ste. Therése of the little flower is rather popular here in Québec, as is Ste. Anne.
My faves are St. Francis, bad boy animal and nature lover, and St. Isidore, saint of computers, organized info, and databases.
Also, St. Joseph, for very personal reasons. : )
Doug Puthoff
August 30th, 2009 at 1:56 pm
8-30 Pluggers–Gee, why didn’t that plugger turn his car in to “Cash for Clunkers” and let the American taxpayer help him pay for a new car.
John C Fremont
August 30th, 2009 at 1:59 pm
#494 AeroSquid – OMG!! It was the Sassy reference that did me in. In the words of Wile E. Coyote, “Brilliance! That’s all I can say! Sheer, unadulterated brilliance!”
A3G – I love panel four. All Ari needs is a sunset in the background and a breeze gently wafting through his toupee.
MT – Yuck. Regurgitating food and rechewing it. That makes me sick to at least one of my four stomachs.
Also, the number one threat to deer? Bears.
9CL – Shouldn’t it be “thine,” Brooke?
bats :[
August 30th, 2009 at 2:09 pm
494. AeroSquid: this is the best thing since I got my Darth Tater!
(Yes, I have one. Why do you ask?)
Revisiting MW: sometimes you just can’t improve upon the sheer beauty of the words and the movement, kind of like seeing “Swan Lake,” or listening to a moving speech, or watching a train careening full-steam over a cliff.
Dang, but you can offer commentary
Dingo
August 30th, 2009 at 2:24 pm
Kitsch and Tell
Luann gently knocked on the door. Knocked so gently, at first Margo mistook her for rain upon the window. But there was no rain tonight; the sky was as dry as Margo’s heart. Luann entered without asking.
“Margo? Are you awake?”
Margo took a moment to parse the sentence. She was standing, holding an orange leather holocaust cloak. She was clothed as a French upstairs maid and her hair was in a bun. If she were asleep, she was doing a good job of slumbering standing up and multitasking. But this was Luann, the reason that cities put up signs saying “Slow Children at Play” and she couldn’t bring herself to shatter the waif’s self-esteem.
“Yes.” She replied. “Come in, Luann.”
Luann took a moment to parse the sentence. She was already in the room, standing on a Hello Kitty rug and surrounded by objet d’art that countless men had sent to Margo to vie for her affections. Margo liked to act superior to her. Just because Margo was born in the city, had a career, and could land a man faster than a Romanian would eat a turnip didn’t make her better. True, allowing her kerchiefed cousin to tape her and release a DVD called Dakota Fannies wouldn’t help her artistic development but she was no one to be trifled with. She could cut up a caribou in less than half an hour and make a mean pitcher of potato-ade.
Luann walked to Margo. “You put up a good front, girl.”
Margo puffed out her chest. “Why, thank you.”
Luann shook her head. “Tonight. At dinner. All the talk of Eric. I can’t imagine what you were feeling inside.”
Margo began to sniffle. Luann put out her hands and the icy goddess melted into a hug. They stood there for what seemed hours, in that embrace. Luann was Mother Hen and Margo the young chick come home. Luann carressed her roommate’s back and Margo sobbed into her shoulder. Luann carressed more. Margo’s sobbing soon gave way to moans of anguish and then… purring.
“Oh, Luann. Momma always said that the reason people get married is to have someone to rub their back. Thank you.”
Luann slightly pushed Margo back. Their eyes met. Miss Powers gaze was steely. “I can rub much more than backs.” she said.
And with that, a fever took over the two women. Blouses were unbuttoned, brassieres unfastened, and leggings tossed to the wind. Margo’s raisinette nipples danced provocatively before Luann’s pepperoni-inspired areola. They motorboated each other and squealed like tiny pigs as they cupped each other breasts and made honking noises.
Tommie knocked on the door. “Margo, is everything alright in there?” Margo shot back, “Not a worry, Tommie. It was just a nattering wind crashing against the glass. Back to bed, sleepyhead.”
Margo and Luann stared at each other then giggled. Eric? Eric who? Tonight she’d see which side Luann wore her kerchief on and what color.
___________________________________
The sex was raw, the sex was powerful, and now, the sex was over. Both women sat on the edge of the bed, catching their breath and dressing.
“You were wonderful tonight, Margo. But you don’t have to be brave now.” Luann placed her left hand on Margo’s back and clutched her breast with her right.
“Oh, Luann!” Margo murmured. They kissed and fell back upon the bed.
— FIN —
8th Man Fan
August 30th, 2009 at 2:30 pm
MW: Btw, at what point did Toeby & Chinbeard get so disconnected, they needed to inflict themselves on Scotland to get “back on track?” On the outside chance their marital problems were more interesting than the Delilah-Lawrence crap we’ve been stuck with the past few months, maybe Moy should have went with that story instead.
Aviatrix
August 30th, 2009 at 2:48 pm
Dingo, that was touching. What on earth has gotten into you?
AeroSquid
August 30th, 2009 at 2:49 pm
527. bats :[ I have a Darth Tater as well ! ! AND a Darth Tater key chain. I keep mine perched on my cubicle wall at work. Now all I need is a Spud Trooper and Idaho Jones. =)
buckyswife
August 30th, 2009 at 2:50 pm
Dingo, I salute your ability to find sexual possibilities among even the most apparently sexless individuals! Bravo!
AeroSquid
August 30th, 2009 at 2:50 pm
526. John C. Fremont: Thanx. It came to me in V8 vision.
AeroSquid
August 30th, 2009 at 2:53 pm
528. Dingo. squealed like tiny pigs. Well, sir. I think that tops any lesbian/fanfic I could produce….for now.
AeroSquid
August 30th, 2009 at 2:57 pm
bats ;[ : I fully expect to see Mr. Rusty PotatoAde in one of your MASH ups.
Talking Squirrel
August 30th, 2009 at 2:57 pm
FW: #478 Aerosquid: You will note Les’ desperate, though unsuccessful, attempt to catch any in his mouth.
#516 bats :[ “mr. bats :[ rosary is now super-charged, a multi-third-degree relic.”
If you press it against one more relic, you’ll have the world’s first adamantium rosary and you can sell it to Ock for a nice profit — and enough Green Stamps to buy an eternal clubhouse conveniently situated midway between the Hot Place and the Boring Place.
And #507 Aviatrix, it may help to keep in mind that you can’t spell “Dingo” without D-I-N-G.
Mooncattie
August 30th, 2009 at 2:59 pm
A3G – “Merrill, Bobbie Merrill. I used to sing the National Anthem at Yankees’ games, but I’ve..I’ve changed.”
buckyswife
August 30th, 2009 at 3:02 pm
True story: Last night, I had a dream in which a huge panther was sitting by the side of a swimming pool. My dream-brain thought, “Wow—this is going to be the best Charterstone pool party ever!” Sadly, my dream brain is also fickle and went scurrying off to a different scene before I could witness any panther-on-Chinbeard carnage.
Dingo
August 30th, 2009 at 3:06 pm
The Panther and the Pool
Mary walked down to the party, sashaying her octogenarian hips to and fro in her dark purple bathing suit. It was shiny and formfitting. It made her feel like a panther in the night, surveying the land for prey. Charley was talking to
NO, NO, NO. Can’t do it.
commodorejohn
August 30th, 2009 at 3:13 pm
AS – Huh, today’s Argyle Sweater is marginally not-terrible.
BrS – Using language that has to be represented by non-alphanumeric characters? I like this kid.
Crankshaft – And to conclude our week of undisguised loathing for the elderly, we focus on how they sleep so damn much! …wait, what? What the hell kind of complaint is that? You just spent the whole week bitching about what a pain in the ass they are when they’re awake, and now you’re griping about them being asleep and not bothering anybody? Gah!
DT – GET TO THE POINT!
FW – We are expected to believe that Les is similar to Spider-Man. Given the jaw-dropping levels of whining, self-pity, and general lameness on display in the average Funky Winkerbean, I would tend to agree. On the other hand, Spider-Man doesn’t lust after his own daughter…
H&L – “Say, friend, have you heard about the redeeming power of golf and the sacred word of the Little Red Book?”
JP – Oh man does Judge Parker ever deliver today. There’s so much action even the logo is getting nicked up in the scuffle. Why can’t it be this entertaining more often?
Luann – So the point of today’s Luann was either implied temporary off-panel toplessness, or a stupid non-joke about text messaging. This being Greg Evans, I’m honestly not sure which.
MW – Is this what happens when the Meddle Squad get a few too many wine coolers in them? Toby’s making a drunken sieg heil to her fearless leader, and Mary’s idly plotting exactly what kind of meddling would be necessary to take care of injustice, pollution, disease, and crime…this is awesome. Allow me to express my hearty approval.
MC – Norm just needs to learn to have more faith in people, right?
PBS – I would totally join Rat’s order.
Phantom – Oh, sure, the interesting character has to die so that Disco King here can get together with Little Princess Foo-Foo. Whatever happened to good storylines in The Phantom?
SM – I’m pretty sure that Stan Lee has just as little clue what a ménage à trois is as he does about “sloppy seconds.” On the other hand, the notion has a certain train-wrecky “don’t want to stare, but can’t look away” ring to it.
Baka Gaijin
August 30th, 2009 at 3:18 pm
#539 Dingo: Thank you for not finishing that. If you’re so inspired, I’m sure Margo and LuAnn wouldn’t mind a revisit.
Calico
August 30th, 2009 at 3:24 pm
#528 – I will never have to watch another Québecois Blue Movie at midnight again. Evah.
: )
And, Re: #539, please. continue. Don’t worry, you know a lot of us have already seen Mary in her Wonder Woman getup.
AeroSquid
August 30th, 2009 at 3:26 pm
I like ‘what-if’ storis. For instance: What if a Predator (from the movies not the sherrif’s website) decided to crash a Charterstone party. It would a make a little chit-chat, impress the girls with it’s diving skills, and ask Mary for her Jell-O Shrimp Fiesta recipe before ripping her spine out as a keep sake for a wonderful evening.
Calico
August 30th, 2009 at 3:28 pm
Oh, Wow…Bats, this is for you.
(Bracken Cave, TX-vid starts at :16)
http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/us/2009/08/30/wolf.texas.bats.cnn
Talking Squirrel
August 30th, 2009 at 3:33 pm
MW: I really like seeing Mary and Toeby solving all the problems of the world over a refreshing pitcher of Potato-Ade™. Alas, those problems have a nasty habit of recurring, thus daily maintenance sessions are required. And these two “females” (to use S-M’s term) are more than equal to the task, as their empty highball glasses attest.
Bryan
August 30th, 2009 at 3:35 pm
543, Aero-Squid: Hey, I like what-if stories too! For example, what if some of the bleak misery of Funky Winkerbean leaked into the cloying, sunlit world of Rose is Rose? Would Peekaboo die of feline leukemia? Would Rose’s schizophrenia tragically manifest itself to the world at large when the “Vicky the Biker” personality goes on a tri-state kill spree?
One can only hope!
SandyH
August 30th, 2009 at 3:39 pm
Wow, Dingo’s a cutie!
Festooned Dragoon
August 30th, 2009 at 3:40 pm
Another MT bingo board, albeit a little late since the comment count has surpassed 500. Phew. Going through the archives, I remembered how much I enjoy all the batshit insane that is Mark Trail. It’s just that this storyline, with all the orange jacket ineptitude, has been going on since May. And, well, nothing has really happened.
Talking Squirrel
August 30th, 2009 at 3:42 pm
543 AeroSquid: “I like ‘what-if’ storis. For instance: What if a Predator (from the movies not the sherrif’s website) decided to crash a Charterstone party.”
Given my druthers, I’d just as soon see a Predator crash a Charterstone party with a Hellfire.
I can suggest the proper occasion. With luck, all of Scott and Adrian’s wedding party will be wiped out.
AeroSquid
August 30th, 2009 at 3:45 pm
546. Bryan: Yes. Yes. But how about ‘What if’ the Predator showed up in the Winkerverse ? It would be greeted by cheering, flag waving throngs of Winkerdrones just like when Wally came home…huh ? Oh. Forgot. Anyway, the folks would be cheefully begging it for a swift death. “Tear out my spine, Preddy !” “O, Sweet Death !” the signs would read.
Dingo
August 30th, 2009 at 3:47 pm
What if a Predator (from the movies not the sherrif’s website) decided to crash Elizabeth and Anthony’s wedding?
Well, for one, you wouldn’t need to worry about the prime rib.
AeroSquid
August 30th, 2009 at 3:57 pm
What if a Predator (not Aldo), substituted on Crankshaft’s Ice Cream truck route.
Bryan
August 30th, 2009 at 4:03 pm
550, Aero Squid: They’d all be lining up to offer their spines and the Predator would be all, “Geez, you guys are pathetic! Get a backbone! Ha!” and he’d leave them to their misery.
AeroSquid
August 30th, 2009 at 4:05 pm
553. Bryan. Yeah. Not really worthy prey when ya think about it.
buckyswife
August 30th, 2009 at 4:06 pm
I can’t believe that I’m going to wander where Dingo fears to tread…..
Charley was talking to Toby. Mary harrumphed; what, was he going to try to break up this marriage, too, and so soon after the Camerons’ vaunted “reconnection”? Why did Charlie keep chasing married women when there were perfectly good unattached women around? She walked towards them, swinging her hips a bit more deliberately so the skirt of her bathing suit flicked from side to side.
“Hello, Mr. Smith,” she said, looking him up and down with a steely gaze. He was wearing a stripey-shirt over his shorts—her favorite. But she liked him even better without it, naked, horny, and leering as he lay on top of her, licking Scotch from her bikini line while she hummed Rodgers and Hammerstein to urge him on.
“Hello, Mrs. Worth,” Charley said nervously, trying to keep his eyes from being drawn to her wrinkled cleavage.
Toby backed away. “Excuse me…. I need to go get some more potato-ade….”
Mary moved closer. “So, Mr. Smith, I see you’re chasing after forbidden fruit again. I thought we had an agreement.” Her liver-spotted hand fell lightly on his hip and slid forward, brushing his flaccid member. “Why, Mr. Smith! Aren’t you happy to see me?”
Charley closed his eyes. Why had he made that damned agreement? Was reduced rent at Charterstone worth servicing Mary’s insatiable needs? Still, though, there was something about her…. He found himself growing aroused.
“Ah, that’s the Charley I remember!” Mary smiled. “Now, dear, I believe I left a scampi and salmon casserole back in my apartment. Wouldn’t you like a taste of that?”
Much to his horror, Charley realized that yes, he would.
Dingo
August 30th, 2009 at 4:18 pm
buckyswife, it’s effin’ brilliant. The images you conjure! I see ‘mudgeons screaming like children, running in circles and urinating on themselves.
AeroSquid
August 30th, 2009 at 4:20 pm