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Second-string Sunday

Oddly coincident with my stewardship here at The Comics Curmudgeon, the Sunday comics are rolling out their B-Teams. Let’s take a look.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 9/20/09

OK, Rex Morgan, M.D. usually disappoints by dishing out endless observational chit-chat between Rex and June followed by a lot of talking on phones, and then, once everyone has lost interest, annihilating some minor character in a hail of gunfire or whatnot. Josh cites this as one factor in The Rex Morgan Problem, and I will not say him nay. But here’s a new and disturbing development — after weeks of observational chit-chat between secondary character Becka and assorted walk-ons, one of them (wildlife writer Tim Howard, and there’s fifteen minutes of my life I won’t get back) flies into an incandescent rage over a minor procedural issue in the organization of search parties. By the time we reach the final panel, we envy poor, wet, demented Pearl and Henry (oh God why me), feeling that the story that’s tormented us since June is fresh and new.

Also: “A@#SS“!

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 9/20/09

Passing by the fact that Snuffy is himself a replacement for long-departed Barney Google, what’s with poor Micah? This is the first we hear of him — yet, as the only gainfully-employed resident of Hootin’ Holler, he must’ve been the centerpiece of the Gazette‘s business section for years. I mean, it’s not like violence and murder are going to crowd him out of the paper — the Gazette puts the Police Blotter, casualty list, and obits in agate type behind the classifieds.

Apartment 3-G, 9/20/09

Oh, and here’s Aristotle Papagoras, newly emblondened and ready for his closeup. This charlatan pusher absent-mindedly bilks disease-addled Dr. “Skully” Bryant out of his lucrative Upper East Side psychiatric practice, while thought-babbling obsessively about his junkie skank “patient.” This better end in murder, and I don’t much care who.

Crock, 9/20/09

Yes, for quite a few years now, as a matter of fact!

– Uncle Lumpy

197 responses to “Second-string Sunday”

  1. Sequitur
    September 20th, 2009 at 1:58 am [Reply]


  2. nomuse
    September 20th, 2009 at 2:01 am [Reply]

    From the way his head shape changes from panel to panel, I think “Aristotle” is actually a Skrull.

  3. Wooky Rooky Wocky Dude
    September 20th, 2009 at 2:03 am [Reply]

    Who is Harold Ledoux?

  4. Uncle Lumpy
    September 20th, 2009 at 2:07 am [Reply]

    #3 W.R.W.D –

    Predecessor of Eduardo Barreto as artist of Judge Parker.

  5. MolyBendum
    September 20th, 2009 at 2:11 am [Reply]

    Crock – It seems perfectly reasonable to dress up like a ninja and hurl epithets at a desert castle lined with snipers. Snipers with bayonets on their rifles, even. I admire the ninja’s steely determination as well as their ability to take a bullet.

  6. BB
    September 20th, 2009 at 2:11 am [Reply]

    #2: Coming soon on A3G: “Margo Magee: Herald of Galactus!”

  7. DumbBlone
    September 20th, 2009 at 2:12 am [Reply]

    I normally do not take umbrage with the official commentary here at Comics Curmudgeon, but I fear I must say my piece today: Uncle Lumpy, the Sunday Comics may indeed be have the B-string on the field today but you… you, sir, brought your late-night A-game. (Sorry – I’m a geek and am not so conversant with the sports metaphors, so “A-team” or “A-string” – or is that what they call a “g-string?” – or whatever – what I mean to say is that you are doing a damn fine job!) My husband and I have made one of our rare foray’s out into our small town’s nightlife and have come home dispirited yet wiser, and yet you still made us both laugh! Therefore, your false modesty does not stand. I demand a Huzzah, sir! Huzzah! And yet a third Huzzah!

    (As to Rex Morgan – it is about time that the comics found the inherent drama and humor in Alzheimer’s. I mean really, enough with the yucking it up about breast cancer when there are other slow, horrifying degeneretive diseases for us all to enjoy! Next: the heartbreak – and belly laughs – of psoriasis!)

  8. spazmodeas
    September 20th, 2009 at 2:16 am [Reply]

    Herald? Please. Margo Magee is Galactus.

  9. Wooky Rooky Wocky Dude
    September 20th, 2009 at 2:17 am [Reply]

    Oh, that Harold Ledoux. Thanks, Uncle Lumpy!

    Blondie: Sheesh! I suppose it’s a good thing Baby Dumpling Alexander didn’t mention the Prince Albert.

  10. MolyBendum
    September 20th, 2009 at 2:18 am [Reply]

    Hi & Lois – Worst joke of the day: “I’m having an agoraphobia attack just trying to find a parking space.”
    BOOOooooooo!!!! SSSssssssssssss!!!!

  11. Poteet
    September 20th, 2009 at 2:21 am [Reply]

    PV — Please pardon my repeating this question, but I’d still greatly appreciate it if someone could tell me what Arthur meant when he referred to the father of Camelot’s future queen.

    A3G — Bobbie Merrill sure didn’t stick in my mind. In fact she’s so utterly forgettable that the prospect of a storyline built around her is already putting me to sleep. Zzzzzz. G’night.

  12. Digger
    September 20th, 2009 at 2:30 am [Reply]

    Boy, that Mr. Howard must be pissed. I’m sure a lot of people make cute, rhymey threats like “your A@#$$ is grass” when they’re extremely upset about the welfare of a family member. Still, I guess that’s better than shouting “Crock stinks!” at a bunch of bored guys in the desert who have guns.

  13. unclelumpy
    September 20th, 2009 at 2:31 am [Reply]

    #8 spazmodeas –

    Margo sprinkles Galactus Bits on her breakfast cereal.

  14. FOOBed again
    September 20th, 2009 at 2:33 am [Reply]

    RMMD: It looks like former Seattle Police Chief and currrent Director of the Office of National Drug Control Policy,Gil Kerlikowske now also has a job as director of the nursing home where Mr. Howard’s mom lives.

  15. Mibbitmaker
    September 20th, 2009 at 2:44 am [Reply]

    RMMD (still missing on a boat): Wow! We made it just in time for the action-packed angry sequence. More action and violence than action-oriented Spidey, or a scene with actual violence in it.

    A3G: So, here we are on Sunday Actual-Color Day, and quasi-Col. Potter still has flesh-colored hair! Shouldn’t it be strips of white?

    (BG&)SS: Looks like the wedding included a double-Cheney. Two lawyers were hit.

    Crock (where the drawing is a crock): Ah, “Crock Stinks”, that hit song by the J. Geils Band in 1980.

  16. Jason D.
    September 20th, 2009 at 2:46 am [Reply]

    #7 – Does that mean Rex Morgan is the anti-Funky Winkerbean?

    Contrary to popular belief, Mr. Howard did not say “ass”. Clearly, Rex Morgan’s writers wanted to censor the word “abyss”, as it might remind readers of the word “abysmal”, which could be used to describe the current storyline.

    Now I’m left wondering how an abyss could be grass, though…maybe it’s a giant hole filled with compost?

  17. unclelumpy
    September 20th, 2009 at 2:51 am [Reply]

    #11 Poteet –

    Sunday Prince Valiant here. Anybody make sense of panel 3? I got nuthin’.

    Also: I’m sure hand-lettering is hard, but the new typeface is awful.

  18. Red Greenback
    September 20th, 2009 at 2:51 am [Reply]

    Snuffy: Maybe it’s just late, but I imagined Snuffy’s final little secondary balloon as saying “Yo, peace out, Money!”…and it made me laugh.

  19. Mibbitmaker
    September 20th, 2009 at 2:53 am [Reply]

    FW: “…somebody who would stand on a school cafeteria table during crowded lunch hour and speechify in defense of her in as noble a fashion as myself and Susan did the other day.”

    “Oh, thaaaat kind of ‘special’.”

  20. Farley's Revenge
    September 20th, 2009 at 2:55 am [Reply]

    A3G: That leer on Papawapalossa’s-or whatever the heck that dude’s name is-face is about as close to evil as expressions get in this strip. Either this dude has been studying “How to be a Lech” in an online course or we’re about to be introduced to a plot that rivals Mary Worth for sheer, stultifying boredom vainly disguised as “drama”.

    Everyone knows that if two characters in this strip ended up in the same bed together that the Horsemen of the Apocalypse would wake up from where they nodded off and start saddling up to ride.

  21. MolyBendum
    September 20th, 2009 at 2:59 am [Reply]

    - Rex Morgan, A@#SS-

    “Here, check out this map, we’ll take my truck and go look for our parents OHMYGODISTHATTHEFUCKINGDIRECTORIWILLKILLHIM!!!!”
    You are totally not getting laid with that kind of temper, mister.

    Awesome. Also awesome:
    Panel Duece – Violent red coloring, pointing stabby finger, anger and hatred drawn into every wrinkle and crease. Beautiful.
    Panel Trey – Accusing the Director of standing around doing nothing when all you’ve been doing for 15 minutes is standing around doing nothing and trying to get a hot blond to go golfing in the rain with you.
    Panel Quatro – Whirly, flinging turn-about, gesturing hand…literally “flying off the handle”. Essentially saying: ‘look, mofo, I pay you good money so I don’t have to worry about my decrepit mother, now you’ve harshed my mellow with all this forced concern.’
    Panel Fivo – Nothing is more terrifying than a one-eyed threat. Possibly in honor of Pirate Day? Whenever the hell that is….
    Panel Sex – The director is so scared he’s sucking his lip like a 5 year old. I bet they wanted to show the crotch of his pants with a growing stain but decided against it. “…my ATTORNEY will be the lawn mower.” Sheesh. What a pussy. I’m so mad, I could sue! Maybe it works with nursing home directors, I don’t know.
    And……these old morons. I’m starting to think this old guy is insane, not senile. He’s so…focused. He’s going to take the mom out to the 18th green and stab her to death with the flag.

    This is my favorite strip of the month. Until Scott dies, at least.

  22. Farley's Revenge
    September 20th, 2009 at 3:00 am [Reply]

    PV: I think the reference is to Arn, who is married to Maeve and father to some little urchin girl. Maeve is the daughter of some king/tribal leader and her and Arn’s marriage was as much a joining of kingdom’s as it was for wuv, twu wuv. Anyway, the urchin girl will eventually be Camelot’s queen.

    I guess Arthur regrets not having made Arn the regent in the first place, cutting Aleta and Val out of the picture completely. At least that’s my take on that panel.

    Now, I must go fling myself off a cliff because life cannot possibly be worth living when I know so much trivia about this strip.

  23. mkilby
    September 20th, 2009 at 3:02 am [Reply]

    Here’s the thought baloon that’s missing from the second to last panel of Rex Morgan: Oh my God, I have got to get that moustache back: now he is channelling the ghost of Hilter, which is really a shame, because he doesn’t look the part at all with those glasses on, and he can’t cover it up as well as I do.

  24. Farley's Revenge
    September 20th, 2009 at 3:03 am [Reply]

    Kingdom’s=kingdoms. Any other mistakes will be ignored.

  25. unclelumpy
    September 20th, 2009 at 3:05 am [Reply]

    #22 Farley’s R –

    Stay away from this cliff!

  26. Farley's Revenge
    September 20th, 2009 at 3:06 am [Reply]

    PV, again: Y’know, Val has got to be, what, forty, forty-five? And he’s still got that shiny black page boy? In an era without Just For Men? Right. That’s about as likely as Aleta’s girls still being extra perky after 4 kids and no Cross Your Heart Support.

  27. Red Greenback
    September 20th, 2009 at 3:09 am [Reply]

    A3-G: It’s her Windsong™

  28. Farley's Revenge
    September 20th, 2009 at 3:09 am [Reply]

    Thanks for the head’s up, Uncle Lumpy. I will avoid any cliff high enough for a big lizard’s suicidal plunge.

    Instead I may have to find myself a handsome young thing named Cliff…

  29. Alfred E. Neuman
    September 20th, 2009 at 3:45 am [Reply]

    BB— Beetle appears to have disowned his sister Lois, brother-in-law Hi, and the rest of the the Flagstons. Does this indicate a schism between the Walkers and the Brownes? Will Lois Flagston now become the sister of Hagar the Horrible? Inquiring Curmudgeons want to know!

    OBH— Hey, I can do better than those. One of my high school teachers asked if I knew the meaning of “coincide”. I answered, “That’s what I do when it starts to rain.”

    Well, you had to be there.

  30. NoahSnark
    September 20th, 2009 at 4:09 am [Reply]

    Crock: The comic strip that dares to speak the truth about itself.

  31. Finlander
    September 20th, 2009 at 4:23 am [Reply]

    Anyone else find it weird that the guy in Rex Morgan is being chastised by Hitler. Because when Hitler is morally superior to you, you might want to reconsider your life.

  32. MolyBendum
    September 20th, 2009 at 4:39 am [Reply]

    Beetle – CHIGGER! Cuz it’s a bug like Beetle [no it isn't. shutup just go with it]. SWEATSOCK! He’s got the varsity sweater on cuz he’s a jock. FRESHMAN! You know it cuz he’s dressed like a dork. DIAMOND JIM! With that hat, you know he’s dope with the ladies. BITTER BILL! Just look at that sour puss. BUZZ! Buzz? What the….WTF? Cuz she’s….he’s…WTF?

    Zits – “Undercover Lover” You forgot that one, rocket tits.

    Mutts – Pussy….when it calls, you listen.

    Slylock Fox – Actual recorded message: “Slylock, ohmigod, it’s Diane Dingo…there’s a giant rat in a sleezy suit hammering on my door! Listen! (WHAMWHAMCRASH) Ohmigodohmigod he just broke down the door….Slylock you gotta come quick! It’s…(DONG!)…Hold on that’s the damn church bell going off…(DONG!)….Ok, the time is…(DONG!)….Oh no he’s inside the house….(DONG!)….He’s grabbing the phone cord and wrapping it around my….(DONG!)….ERrrrrfffffllllllgggggghhhhhh….(DONG!)…..Agggggghhhhhhhheeeerrrrrrrrfffffff….”

    Yep, it was 6 O’clock, Slylock. Good job protecting the citizenry.
    Also, little known fact about chimpanzees: They smile when they are gassy, too.

  33. Foolster41
    September 20th, 2009 at 4:40 am [Reply]

    RM: Editor at the syndicate: “No no no. @$$ or A@$$ is too close to the actual swear and too edgy so, add a # in there? I don’t know. There’s no way they’ll recognize what it’s supposed to be it if we add a #! Doesn’t really matter, this is Rex Morgan after all.”
    You know, I think this is the first time I’ve seen the “your ass is grass” line used in the comics section. Then again, it seems a hackneyed line to me (Oh yeah, Rex Morgan).

    BG&SS: Actually the throw away gag was much funnier than the comic itself and that’s saying something. Then again, the gleeful expression of Barney at the near-death experience with his “two” sign is kind of funny in a weirdly twisted way.

    A3G: Aristotle Papagoras was found in Dr. Bryant’s office, dead asphyxiated by thought balloons.

  34. Big Sims
    September 20th, 2009 at 6:33 am [Reply]

    I’ve got to agree with MolyBendum @ 21.
    Totally F*@#$!*#*$(%@#&$ing Awesome.

    The sight of the director timorously biting his lower lip elicits so much sympathy from me. I just want to give him a hug.
    “It’ll be alright,” I’d tell him “don’t let ‘Stashes intimidate you. You think he can hire a decent lawyer? Shoo, he doesn’t even have to money to put his mom in a decent home. C’mhere, let Big Sims make it all better.”

    I’ve always had a soft spot for the B (or in this case the C) team.

  35. Thageegee
    September 20th, 2009 at 7:16 am [Reply]

    “A@#SS”???? Maybe I grew up poorly, well, I mean we were poor, but I always thought my education was relatively good… I mean it’s better than many people I meet, but I digress.

    The long and the short of it is, isn’t cartoon cussing supposed to be something more like:

    a) A$$


    b) A@#

    Maybe option a was too similar to the real thing, and option b too difficult to decipher. As it is, though, it looks like the guy is using a disparaging word 5 letters in length that happens to begin with ‘a’ and end with two s’s.

    I still haven’t figured out what that word is supposed to be… “aces”? no… “assess”? no… Maybe I’ll come back to it when it isn’t 4:15 am… or maybe not.

  36. Thageegee
    September 20th, 2009 at 7:17 am [Reply]

    Dang, pardon the poor apostrophe use in my comment, please.

    The prior one, that is. This one doesn’t have any apostrophes.

    Well, it didn’t until that one.

    Oh bother.

  37. yellojkt
    September 20th, 2009 at 7:50 am [Reply]

    The real shocker in Snuffy is the veiled reference to a marriage resulting from unprotected premarital intercourse, which reminds me of my favorite hillbilly wedding proposal line:

    “I want to marry you because your eyes look so beautiful in the moonlight reflecting off you father’s shotgun barrel.”

    And the great synopsis of a hillbilly wedding:

    “It was a military ceremony. Well, at least shotguns were involved.”

  38. Amateur
    September 20th, 2009 at 7:50 am [Reply]

    MW: Holy heck, that rock on Adrian’s finger is growing. And I’m pretty sure it’s radioactive. Scott had better hope that his bullet-ridden hide arrives in the ER before that thing rots her finger off, or she’s likely to let him expire.

  39. mr 12 oz can
    September 20th, 2009 at 8:14 am [Reply]

    i thought for sure becka would be bound and gagged in todays strip but that director knew w to push the fly fishermans buttons preventing for a little bit of that greasy mustache rubbing againest her nylons.

  40. Lolsworth
    September 20th, 2009 at 8:19 am [Reply]

    Rex Morgan: Mary Worth’s lost her mind and wandered into someone else’s comic again. And now she has no idea where she is.

  41. AeroSquid
    September 20th, 2009 at 8:49 am [Reply]

    MolyBendum beat me to the good snarks on todays BB !

    BB: His girlfriend, Buzz ? What happened to Bunny ? Doesn’t Walker/Browne remember the animated series ? Buzz looks like she would run off with Miss Buxley in two shakes of a Chigger’s tail. What did I say ? I said ‘CHigger !’ Honest ! My name is CHIGGER Bailey. I really feel sorry for Beetle’s brother once he enters into a prison gang environment.

    Blondie: Alex will get money for ‘the game’. Alex will get his penis pierced.

    Crock: For a brief moment, I thought the B.C. anthill crossed over to Crock.

    Curtis: So we have the ‘Throwaway panel’: Sometimes only slightly related to the main body of the strip. We need a ‘Breakaway panel’. Like today’s Curtis, for instance. Curtis holding a blood stained, broken lamp in his hand as Greg screams: “Holy crap ! Barry ! Barry ! Somebody text 911 !”.

    DtM: When I first learned how to read, the first thing I read on a regular basis was the Sunday New York Daily News Comics section. They were BIG comics back then. Dondi, Brenda Starr, Gasoline Alley, Peanuts, Stokey Stover, the REAL Dick Tracy….you get the idea. Anyway, I cherish those childhood memories. Dennis…, son…..are either a lazy clod or a product of a school system that’s too afraid to teach a 5 year old how to read because it wouldn’t be fair to the slower students. Menacing, indeed.

    DW: Well, Les. The perfect guy lives next door. He has morals, wants to leave Funkyville as soon as he gets his degree in interpersonal relationships and…..DAMMIT, LES ! HIS HOUSE IS ON FIRE !

    JP: I don’t ‘read’ JP, per say. I just like to watch Godiva roll around on the bed.

    MT: The ciiiiiircle of liiiiiife ! Mr. Owl looks like he’s trying to sell the Chipmunk family AMWAY ™ products. “Crap ! Who left the tree hole open ? No ! We are NOT interested in owl repellent ! Uh, oh !”

    MC: Geez, Scott ! You’re not on C-47 ready to jump behind enemy lines in Belgium ! And what’s up with the riding boots and the goat-leather Indiana Jones holster ? Meanwhile, back at the hospital: That ‘Nurse’ in the background is really a stripper. No nurse dresses that way anymore. Her client died during the performance in the ICU and now she is signing for his personal effects.

    PBS: I first read it as: DOPED Monkey. Because you can order ‘Doped Monkeys’ from Malaysia. Pastis is funnier.

    RMMD: I’ve given up reading this one, too. All I see is the random guy from Sealab 2021 and an ageing Hitler in panel 6.

    Zits: Well,sir….Mrs. Milfy Torpedo-titties has gone through the whole range of Jeremy’s secret Oedipus fantasies. The last one being the most disturbing and I recommend he stay away from petting zoos until his hormones level out.

  42. AeroSquid
    September 20th, 2009 at 8:57 am [Reply]

    A3G: ZOMBIE !!!!!

  43. MonkeyShines
    September 20th, 2009 at 8:58 am [Reply]


    Margo McGee, being far less than Galactus, is still insulted that you would insinuate otherwise. And will deal with you shortly.

  44. AeroSquid
    September 20th, 2009 at 9:04 am [Reply]

    H&L: Hi is out of coke…….maybe he could score some from the valet……ooops !

  45. zerowolf
    September 20th, 2009 at 9:05 am [Reply]

    Judging by the fact that everyone in Hootin’ Holler has virtually the same facial features, I’m lead to believe that they are all descended from the same brother and sister.

  46. True Fable
    September 20th, 2009 at 9:11 am [Reply]

    Now, now, y’all – anybody from the South will tell you, A@#$$ is the proper cartoonification of Ass, only said with a Southern Draaaawl.

    I should know! I called someone an A@#$$hole just the other day, and they knew exactly what I meant because they flipped me the finger – m!m

  47. AeroSquid
    September 20th, 2009 at 9:12 am [Reply]

    Hitler’s Hell Hound: Hitler and Eva play patriotic songs about Kristallnacht as Herr Marm and his date consume the flesh of a stray trade unionist or free-thinker.

  48. AeroSquid
    September 20th, 2009 at 9:22 am [Reply]

    The Lockhorns Sunday Medley o’ Despair:

    #1: “My grandmother said all the girls bought these back in the day, Leroy. I did’nt know it was a dildo.”

    #2: “You don’t have to flip me off, Loretta. I can see the sticker.”

    #3: “Like that time in college in the men’s locker room. You thought I forgot about THAT little drunken confession ?”

    #4: “Now he just draws pee-pees and wee-wees on it.”

    #5: “Speaking of forty dollars, I’ll need that amount as the entry fee for this key party, pal.”

  49. AeroSquid
    September 20th, 2009 at 9:30 am [Reply]

    40. Lolsworth: She feels she needs to meddle…..but who…..who ? HOOO ! I’m an owl !

  50. mordock999
    September 20th, 2009 at 9:32 am [Reply]

    Today’s Comics


    “Snuffy, Ah bet yuh THOUGHT ah wuz gonna say ‘SONS-A-BITCHES’ didn’ cha? Haw,Haw,Haw!!!” – Micah

    CROCK –

    To the TWO guys dressed in black pointlessly hiding behind that dune: Thats “LOVE STINKS” you careless,stupid, unarmed, TOOLS!


    DEATH to TJ!!!

  51. Doug Puthoff
    September 20th, 2009 at 9:33 am [Reply]

    6-20 FC: The kids are playing in the same yard as the dogs.

  52. AeroSquid
    September 20th, 2009 at 9:37 am [Reply]

    51. BG&SS: In the ‘Breakawy panel’ we see Snuffy unloading groceries and a pair of binoculars onto the the dinner table.

    “What’s all that, Paw ?”

    “Ran into ol’ Micah at the Genrul Store.”

    “How is ol’ Micah ?”

    “He dead, Maw. He dead.”


  53. Doug Puthoff
    September 20th, 2009 at 9:37 am [Reply]

    Snuffy Smith–Next thing you know, we’ll find out somebody at Camp Swampy won an award for bravery on the battlefield.

  54. AeroSquid
    September 20th, 2009 at 9:40 am [Reply]

    FC: Friggin’ Larry !

  55. Niall
    September 20th, 2009 at 9:44 am [Reply]

    Creaky Sunday (at least according to my muscles):

    Apt 3G: Well don’t ask US, Dr Papagoras! We don’t know and we don’t care!
    Beetle: WTF?? Retcon alert! Retcon alert! No mention of his sister Lois, who’s adult now? Considering the time he’s been in the army and shipped off at Camp, how would he know about the little brother his parents made? From his age, looks like they were so happy that both kids were gone that they hopped in the sack non-stop, but someone’s pills ran out… Either that, or Beetle dropped acid today and is hallucinating all his “friends” and “relatives”.
    Blondie: WTH is that misshapen thing in the last panel??
    Hi & Lois: …so did his fashion sense.
    Mark Trail: …the most depressing and children-scarring Trail ever! Gooo Elrod, work up those neuroses!
    Mary Worth: I call DOA at the hospital either on Friday if they show us the battle, or Tuesday if they do like usual and skip all possible excitement and action and have the raid happen off-panel. …Tuesday it is.
    Rex Morgan: Still boring, but with stylish poses this time. And weird one-eyed nostril shots. Ew.
    F Minus: I’ve done my share of those…
    Foxtrot: A laugh, a palpable laugh!
    Slylock: Wow, that must be a really desperate or a really clueless citizen to call a private detective for immediate crime help – and leave a message. No 911 in Sly’s world?
    My Cage: I’m starting to wonder how awesome the angry sex must be between those two…

  56. AeroSquid
    September 20th, 2009 at 9:51 am [Reply]

    55. Niall: re: My Cage: So would the horrid PlatyCat hybrid produced as a result of angry sex between a platypus and a cat ! =D I want a plushy !!!!

  57. Baron Bizarre
    September 20th, 2009 at 10:05 am [Reply]

    Dick Tracy: I like the expression on the tiger’s face. It’s as if it’s thinking: “I totally do not buy into this storyline at all.

  58. AeroSquid
    September 20th, 2009 at 10:11 am [Reply]

    DT: Crimestopper’s Textbook: Despite popular belief, placing your hand on your butt, palm out, will not prevent you from getting raped, sport.

  59. AeroSquid
    September 20th, 2009 at 10:17 am [Reply]

    Luann: Art: I don’t think Outback Steakhouse serves penises, Ms Degroot.

  60. commodorejohn
    September 20th, 2009 at 10:22 am [Reply]

    A3G – “What do you, the audience at home, think?”

    Crankshaft – I’m not sure what I think about today’s Crankshaft, since I’m not sure if we’re supposed to agree with Pam or the gobbledegook in the newspapeer. At any rate, I will say that the splash panel is totally kickass and I wish it didn’t have the logo covering it up.

    FW – “Someone who’ll stand around mopily while she inevitably gets cancer and dies, then creepily obsess over her ten years later and attempt to transfer his feelings to the product of their union. Yes, that’s the kind of man I want for my wif-er, daughter.”

    JP – Gasp, shock. Never saw this coming. No sir.

    Lio – is just so very awesome.

    Luann – Wow. Today’s Luann was actually amusing and not horrifying and repulsive in any way. Greg? You feeling okay?

    MT – Today’s Mark Trail is awesomely brutal. Join us next Sunday, when Mark exposes the truth about dolphins and their evil, evil ways.

    Marmaduke – Mr. and Mrs. Hitler are forced to assist in Marmaduke’s fetish roleplays.

    MW – But are they on the highway to the danger zone? Danger zone?

    MC – The lesson: even when you hold a sensible and reasoned view, there is a time and a place to express it, and it’s usually not when cuddling with your beloved.

    Phantom – Rex has an orphan fetish? Well, I’ve heard of stranger things…

    PV – I love this strip.

    RMMD – May I just take a moment to say that “your a@#ss is grass and my attorney will be the lawn mower” is the greatest phrase ever uttered in Rex Morgan history?

    SFx – Sierra, age 9, has a nice, simple style that looks like it flows naturally, and not like she’s trying for more complex things but doesn’t know how to draw them. Keep up the good work, Sierra!

    SM – Hooooleeee…. Did Baretto fill in for today’s Spider-Man? And since when did Peter start talking sense? Or is it just that he needs an excuse to not fight…oh, right. Duh.

    Edison Lee – Edison’s imagination: 100% broke.

    Ziggy – makes the logical leap into Dada.

  61. TheDiva
    September 20th, 2009 at 10:28 am [Reply]

    C’shaft: Wait, they got through that entire comic without complaining that the Kids These Days only know about the Beatles through Rock Band? Must be having an off day.

    Curtis: Come on, Dad, let him bludgeon the little monster for once. If nothing else, it’ll make a nice change of pace.

    FW: “Someone who will die tragically young and leave her a broken shell of her former self, unable to move on with her life for at least a decade.”

    MW: Why is there a lightning bug on Adrian’s hand?

    PBS: Send him over to Funky Winkerbean, he’ll fit right in.

    Pluggers are perfectly willing to help the environment, provided it comes at no cost or effort to themselves.

  62. AeroSquid
    September 20th, 2009 at 10:37 am [Reply]

  63. Mull Again
    September 20th, 2009 at 10:46 am [Reply]

    As a punchline, “Her Paw’s shotgun went off accidentally,” is like a dancer standing still. Adding “Twice,” is her falling down.

  64. AeroSquid
    September 20th, 2009 at 10:48 am [Reply]

  65. Sebastian
    September 20th, 2009 at 10:50 am [Reply]

    “Your Abyss is Grass!”
    “Dude, we can’t say Abyss in a Sunday Comic…”

  66. Poteet
    September 20th, 2009 at 10:54 am [Reply]

    # 22 Farley’s Revenge — Nonononono, please don’t jump! Apart from my deep gratitude, knowledge like that makes you a Resource. And if I had a handsome young thing named Cliff, I’d share.


  67. Izzy
    September 20th, 2009 at 10:56 am [Reply]

    Does anyone else find it very odd that Blondie repeatedly calls her own son an S.O.B.?

  68. ladadog
    September 20th, 2009 at 10:57 am [Reply]

    JP: I realize Randy is not quite a chip off the old block, but, he has taken on the mantle of judge. Shouldn’t a law firm receptionist refer to him with a modicum of respect and call him “Judge Parker”. On further reflection, anyone who greets her boss with a blistering “Where the h#$ll were you?” obviously doesn’t have to bother with professional courtesies.

    #40 Lolsworth: I am glad you brought up the MW/RMMD crossover. Surely, in just a manner of hours, Scott Hewlett will be needing the services of Count Morgu.

  69. Poteet
    September 20th, 2009 at 10:57 am [Reply]

    # 26 Farley’s — I also feel a little sorry for King Arthur, having to eat through that utterly untrimmed beard and ‘stache. As for Val’s hair and Aleta’s girls, is there any magic in this strip? I was thinking they might have made some kind of deal with Merlin.

  70. Poteet
    September 20th, 2009 at 11:01 am [Reply]

    # 60 commodorejohn — I love PV also. Every week, I look forward to it. This week, I just wish there had been one more panel showing us even more of Aleta’s reaction to Val’s astute, well-chosen comment.

  71. Poteet
    September 20th, 2009 at 11:08 am [Reply]

    # 22 Farley’s — Besides, your existing knowledge of PV is no reason to jump from a cliff. If anyone should jump, maybe it’s me. I just found myself mentally putting together some environmentally-friendly landscaping tips for a beer-swilling Plugger.

  72. AeroSquid
    September 20th, 2009 at 11:17 am [Reply]

    We all missed ‘Talk like a pirate’ day. Today is ‘Talk like a Klingon Day’. Do NOT disapoint me !
    Q’PlaH !

  73. TennesseeJed
    September 20th, 2009 at 11:23 am [Reply]

    I am kind of deeply suprised that this Barney Google COMPLETELY captures the way conversations go at OUR feed mill. The really weird thing is that a conversation like this in person is so riotously funny that you actually do laugh like the characters, tongue and all. Well, maybe not tongue and all…

  74. professor fate
    September 20th, 2009 at 11:34 am [Reply]

    FW: “Someone able to respect her as a seperate human being and care for her and want her to grow into herself, not the creepy and controling maggot I am.”

    MW: sweet mercy how long have they been on their way to the drug bust? Is it even in California?
    Meantime Adrian stans mesmerized by the ring – hell Frodo wasn’t that taken with his.

  75. Baron Bizarre
    September 20th, 2009 at 11:52 am [Reply]

    Snuffy Smith: Say, why is Randy Johnson living in Hootin’ Holler, calling himself “Micah”? Is he in the same witness protection program as the ringmaster in Dick Tracy?

  76. Alan's Addiction
    September 20th, 2009 at 11:52 am [Reply]

    I actually quite enjoyed today’s “Rex Morgan” because of Hitler’s cameo appearance in the sixth panel. I enjoyed it because it bodes for many more interesting story lines, possibly even a retelling of “The Boys from Brazil.” And wouldn’t that be a vast improvement upon the general “Rex Morgan” story?
    “Barney Google and Snuffy Smith” takes the weird, constant theme of “creepy hillbillies from Deliverance” to a weird extreme today with the allusion to a shotgun wedding. Seriously, where do those occur today outside of the Palin household?
    I started having odd feelings of warmth towards Aristotle Papagoras today, and couldn’t figure it out until I realized that in the last panel, the part of Dr. Papagoras is played by a bearded Captain Kangaroo.
    “Crock” is the only comic strip in which randomly shooting people is considered high comedy.

  77. Sebastian
    September 20th, 2009 at 12:15 pm [Reply]

    The heck with talk like a pirate day, let’s have “work the phrase ‘tongue and all’ into your posts” day!

  78. zamros
    September 20th, 2009 at 12:16 pm [Reply]

    So the father of the bride in today’s Snuffy Smith killed both the groom and his own daughter? Hooten Holler’s a tough town.

  79. seismic-2
    September 20th, 2009 at 12:16 pm [Reply]

    PV: #22 Farley’s Revenge – actually, Maeve (Arn’s wife) is the daughter of Mordred, King Arthur’s villainous half-brother (and/or son?) and long-time rival for the throne. It was only after Mordred was presumed to be defeated or dead or something and thus no longer a threat to Camelot that Arthur was willing to allow Arn to marry Maeve, but I think he has always remained highly suspicious of Arn on account of the marriage. Maybe explains what Arthur means when he says that he wishes he had seen Arn’s real potential sooner.

    Alternatively, since Arthur appears to be about 120 years old, he just babbles most of the time, and tomorrow he will escape from Camelot and wind up on the 18th green of a golf course, where the posse from RMMD will round him up and take him back to the home. I hope he shares a room with the once and future time-jumped Crankshaft, so that Arthur can kick Crank out of his wheelchair and pretend that it is a throne.

  80. Sister Sestina
    September 20th, 2009 at 12:20 pm [Reply]

    Rex Morgan MD (panel 3): HOWARD SMASH!

  81. Sister Sestina
    September 20th, 2009 at 12:25 pm [Reply]

    Oh holy S$#*%@ – remember how in the last movie iteration of the Hulk he’s hiding out in Brazil at the beginning? Alan’s Addiction @76 — that retelling of “The Boys from Brazil” might involve gamma rays….

  82. 8th Man Fan
    September 20th, 2009 at 12:26 pm [Reply]

    DT: Crimestopper’s Notebook, continued: “…or your genitals, either.” (that’s the only reason I can think of for that zipper)

    9CL: If that cat was in today’s DT‘s Crimestopper’s Notebook, it would be “The Workable Dream.”

    MT: Today, predators. The other week, killer tsunamis. Can hardly wait to see what comes up next in the “Mother Nature’s a Bitch” two-week cycle.

    #22 Farley’s Revenge re: PV: Before your explanation, I thought King Arthur was outing Arn. Thanks, I think.

    y149 Poteet re: S-M: I think the “facial rashes” are supposed to indicate the TV set’s glare. The heck with the hot wife and the super-hero responsibilities: As surely as the swallows to Capistrano, as salmon to where they were born, as Vulcans to their planet for Pon Farr, so, too, is Peter irresistably drawn to return to his true life’s companion, the TV set.

  83. Dean Booth
    September 20th, 2009 at 12:33 pm [Reply]

    Crankshaft: In Crankshaft’s world, all the boomers have fond memories of slow dancing to Eleanor Rigby.

  84. Calico
    September 20th, 2009 at 12:41 pm [Reply]

    A@#SSk me no questions
    I’ll Boxcar you no lies.

    Yes, today’s Mark Trail is sure to please the little kiddies reading it.
    As Bats said, “Coooolllll!”

  85. Anonymous
    September 20th, 2009 at 12:53 pm [Reply]

    Niall and AeroSquid: Good on ya for remembering Beetle Bailey history better than its own writers. If nothing else it should have occurred to them that there might have been some prior mention of his family in the 50+ years the strip’s been around and that it would behoove them to do some digging. But that would take effort, and Walker-Browne Enterprises LLC certainly did not put a whole team in charge of a single comic strip so any one of them would have to actually do work.

    Today’s Curtis is one for the ages: First known evidence of Mr. Wilkins having fond memories of the ’80s. This is going to kind of screw with the premise that back in his day they had REAL music, not “that rap junk.”

  86. Ukulele Ike
    September 20th, 2009 at 1:01 pm [Reply]

    Get Fuzzy: I have never before seen a cat that looks so much like a chicken. I’m gonna go grease the skillet.

    Crankshaft: I recognize the covers of Axis: Bold as Love and one of Love’s first couple of albums (which Batuik chose because the band name fits in with all those peace symbols) and Cheap Thrills and Abbey Road. What’s the second one from the left?

  87. 8th Man Fan
    September 20th, 2009 at 1:05 pm [Reply]

    If it took seven years for Crocs to show up in Blondie, how long before we get to see these puppies in the comics?

  88. Mibbitmaker
    September 20th, 2009 at 1:06 pm [Reply]

    If anyone here is going off a cliff, you must do it in a car, drinking, over an impossible cliff-in-the-road, while saying, “Oh, no.” Don’t forget where you are, people.

  89. Issy
    September 20th, 2009 at 1:07 pm [Reply]

    I try not to follow Snuffy Smith too closely, but can someone tell me if Mario regularly makes guest appearances? I can’t imagine they’d take too kindly to Eye-talians down in Hootin’ Holler…or to much of anything really…

  90. Mibbitmaker
    September 20th, 2009 at 1:21 pm [Reply]


    Batiuk, if you ever lecture your critics in thinly-veiled weeks of story again… your A@#$$ is grass, and the ‘mudges will be the lawn mower!

    ~thank you~

  91. Mibbitmaker
    September 20th, 2009 at 1:30 pm [Reply]

    In Crankshaft, he is current Batiuk, and she is early Batiuk. I like her much better (both characters have a point, though, really. Sort of).

  92. AeroSquid
    September 20th, 2009 at 1:32 pm [Reply]

  93. bats :[
    September 20th, 2009 at 1:34 pm [Reply]

    Hmmm, maybe King Arthur IS senile and will be rounded up on the golf course. If he is indeed regretting in not “seeing the potential in the father of Camelot’s future queen,” and Maeve is set to be Queen, AND Maeve is also the daughter of Mordred…then does Arthur regret *not* giving his bastard son (and by all accounts, bad guy) Mordred more power? Mordred was after that forever, and a lot of Arthur’s problems were because of Mordred’s machinations.
    Oh, and so Maeve is Arthur’s grand-daughter. Okay.
    Meh. I think Aleta ought to just tell Arthur to get bent and take Val back to the Misty Isles where she is Queen in her own right! There you go, Arthur, fuck up Camelot and the Round Table….
    Hate the typeface. Love the strip.

  94. Larry Fine
    September 20th, 2009 at 1:34 pm [Reply]

    FC — Apparently the kids would rather play outside with a ball, a freakin’ BALL, getting some exercise, than sit glassy-eyed in front of the tube playing X-Box or watching cartoons. If there is any stronger proof that Bil Keane is out of touch, I haven’t seen it.

  95. seismic-2
    September 20th, 2009 at 1:39 pm [Reply]

    Crank: #86 Ukulele Ike – the second album from the left in the bin is Sly and the Family Stone’s Stand.

    Excuse me, a cliff and I have an appointment.

  96. bman
    September 20th, 2009 at 1:46 pm [Reply]

    The moral of today’s Crock: “Insult our comic and we will mow you down in a hail of gunfire.” Oh well, there are worse ways to go.

  97. seismic-2
    September 20th, 2009 at 1:47 pm [Reply]

    PV #93 bats:[ – actually, this plot development of a major rift between King Arthur and Prince Valiant offers a number of exciting crossover possibilities, once Arthur turns Camelot over to his new favorite, Arn, and Valliant is banished from court. First, since Arthur has spent his adult life being at war (literally) with his half-brother, is now estranged from his erstwhile heir apparent, and is ancient and obviously about to kick the bucket, it is inevitable that Les and Susan will decide that he is the perfect person to star in their new high-school dramatic masterpiece that they are writing as a compromise with the angry parents: “Masky McDeath Comes to Spamalot”. Then, after Detective Scott is gunned down in a hail of bullets during the heroin bust on Charlie’s pad in Charterstone (and let us pray for plenty of ricochets in the direction of the Chinbeard/ Toby apartment), a grief-stricken Adrian will find solace in the arms of her long-lost fraternal twin brother, Val.

  98. Poteet
    September 20th, 2009 at 1:49 pm [Reply]

    # 79 seismic-2 — Thank you for the info. If Arthur were ever to be required to share a room with the Crank, however, I hope he’d send Crank to that big castle in the sky, maybe using Excalibur.

    # 82 8th Man Fan — Excellent S-M comment. I salute you.

    # 93 bats:[ — Interesting. Now I’m hoping we’ll get to see Maeve soon.

  99. Poteet
    September 20th, 2009 at 1:58 pm [Reply]

    DT — I don’t care who’s holding that gun. For finally, finally ending this excrutiating month of enless circular palaver, this villain has my gratitude. Put a fatal hole in Dick, and my gratitude will be eternal.

  100. It\'s time to pay the price
    September 20th, 2009 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

    Bobble Merrill? Has the head bobbling affliction become so pervasive in the A3G universe that they’ve begun to name children after it? Or maybe little Bobble just came as a shock when the condom broke.

  101. Larry Fine
    September 20th, 2009 at 2:00 pm [Reply]

    A3G — She sticks in your mind, Aristotle, because she likes you and would probably give you a great blow job. And they call you “Professor”? Sheesh.

  102. zooby
    September 20th, 2009 at 2:09 pm [Reply]

    Dr. Bryant is apparently distantly related to Dr. Spaceman.

    “Medicine is an imperfect art.” = “Science is whatever we want it to be!”

    Why do I get the feeling that the “procedure” he’s having done is to amputate his foot because of dia-bee-tus and replace with a wheel?

  103. dreadedcandiru2
    September 20th, 2009 at 2:12 pm [Reply]

    ReFoob Spoiler for Monday: This just in: John hates being a dentist.

    Also, Lynn thinks children will actually like the ugly plushie she’s hawking instead of crying in terror at its hideous expression.

  104. AeroSquid
    September 20th, 2009 at 2:13 pm [Reply]

    From the Makers of Mary Worth: H-Town ! (featuring Aldo the Asshole Ghost):

  105. Mibbitmaker
    September 20th, 2009 at 2:25 pm [Reply]

    #104 (AeroSquid): I thought Albert Pinkham Ryder was the asshole ghost.

  106. Poteet
    September 20th, 2009 at 2:34 pm [Reply]

    GA — Your incoherent final speech, Slim, gives me one more reason to hope you’ll be hit by a truck.

  107. Calico
    September 20th, 2009 at 2:42 pm [Reply]

    #103 – Lynn (or someone) writes
    “Meanwhile, he goes to a testing lab where he’ll be burned, torn, chewed, shredded and mutilated – his eyes will be pulled out, his nose will be ripped off and his tongue will be wrenched from his jaws.”

    Sounds like Dick Tracy…

  108. bats :[
    September 20th, 2009 at 2:44 pm [Reply]

    I’m loving all these cross-over possibilities…it’s so Marvel/DC Comics (or maybe not). Anyway, Sunday is made for cross-overs.

    (And has The Three Stooges Curly’s anxious/whiny sound ever been committed to paper? Just wondering…)

  109. Poteet
    September 20th, 2009 at 2:46 pm [Reply]

    ReFoob — Apologies if someone already posted this. Apologies anyway, actually.

  110. Hank
    September 20th, 2009 at 2:54 pm [Reply]

    RE: Foob’s Stuffed Farley Toy. I think it’s nice that Lynn’s pictures of the doll included one of him reenacting the scene immediately after he rescued April from the creek.

  111. commodorejohn
    September 20th, 2009 at 3:03 pm [Reply]

    #103 dreadedcandiru2 – I look at the expression on the long-awaited Farley doll, and I hear Cpt. Dallas from Alien moaning “kill me…

  112. Just some guy
    September 20th, 2009 at 3:11 pm [Reply]

    Crock stinks!

  113. bats :[
    September 20th, 2009 at 3:13 pm [Reply]

    Wow. Betcha Mr. Penner scored a stuffed Farley for that crock o’ cheeze…

  114. AeroSquid
    September 20th, 2009 at 3:20 pm [Reply]

    105.Mibbitmaker: Hah! Almost forgot about A3G’s patronizing spirit.

  115. dreadedcandiru2
    September 20th, 2009 at 3:21 pm [Reply]

    #109: Poteet — I’ve seen the article before myself; what’s more, so have a lot of others. I especially like the guy who asks if a man wrote the article.

  116. Amateur
    September 20th, 2009 at 3:36 pm [Reply]

    MW: Niall @ #53, you’ve given me an idea: The Scott’s Drug Bust pool!

    Pick (1) the day we see Scott arrive at the hospital; (2) his condition upon arrival — DOA, only mostly dead, paralyzed, blinded (so, of course, he can’t see the ring), shot once, shot twice, full of holes, or what have you; (3) number of strips it takes Adrian to fully express her shame and self-loathing; (4) final outcome.

    I say (1) Tuesday, (2) so full of holes he can barely gasp out “Adrian — you — do — love — me!” (3) six, (4) after the funeral, Adrian becomes a nun.

  117. Amateur
    September 20th, 2009 at 3:36 pm [Reply]

    Sorry, I meant #55, not #53.

  118. Islamorada Girl
    September 20th, 2009 at 3:41 pm [Reply]

    PV: Arthur’s family tree is even more interesting than one might think. Morgan le Fay is Arthur’s half-sister, so their son Mordred is both his son and his nephew, which makes Maeve both his granddaughter and his grandniece,

    It’s like a Dark Ages West Virginia!

  119. Dr. Weird
    September 20th, 2009 at 3:52 pm [Reply]

    103 dreadedcandiru2 –

    Plush Farley looks quite dismayed, actually.

  120. MolyBendum
    September 20th, 2009 at 3:56 pm [Reply]

    #116 – re Death Pool – Great idea. I’m probably being too optimistic but here’re my predictions:

    (1) Thursday; (2) Once, unconscious on arrival and someone will say “I don’t know if he’ll make it thru the night”; (3) five; (4) He lives, they get married.

  121. Mibbitmaker
    September 20th, 2009 at 3:56 pm [Reply]

    #108 (bats:[): The Three Stooges parody contained in Cerebus “Latter Days” has pretty much all the Curly-isms in it (While most spell Curly’s running-away noise “woo-woo-woo…!”, Sim spells it “Woop-woop-woop…!”. I think “woob-woob-woob….!” is more like it sounds).

    Of course, this is well into Dave Sim’s period of being not too unlike Batiuk nowadays (with a hint of late-era Johnny Hart), so advocating “Latter Days” is a dicey proposition…

  122. Dr. Weird
    September 20th, 2009 at 4:01 pm [Reply]

    Mary Worth

    What are those cops wearing in Sunday’s strip? It appears they have strapped promotional stadium seat cushions to their chests instead of flak vests.

    They looked alright on previous days… what happened? Friday’s strip even shows an officer who coordinated his weaponry, having a light blue assault rifle to match his vest. Fashion Police would be proud.

  123. Cyranetta
    September 20th, 2009 at 4:11 pm [Reply]

    MW — Is the prominent “exit” sign meant as a warning to Adrian or the reader?

  124. Poteet
    September 20th, 2009 at 4:14 pm [Reply]

    # 116 Amateur — (1) Friday. (2) Shot a couple of times, once in a place that requires Adrian’s utmost medical skill. Say, his big toe. Nonono, I meant, um, some semi-vital organ in his abdomen. (3) 14. (4) Scott croaks (see “utmost medical skill” above), and then Adrian continues dating. She may start with the young funeral home director, who, by coincidence, looks like a member of Hitler Youth.

  125. Danny Lilithborne
    September 20th, 2009 at 4:20 pm [Reply]

    “Medicine is an imperfect art”? That should be very comforting to those of us who were under the impression it was, you know, SCIENCE.

  126. Mibbitmaker
    September 20th, 2009 at 4:21 pm [Reply]

    #121 (me): Just looked at my copy. “Latter Days” Curly’s running vocal thingy is spelled “Woop-oop-oop-oop”, actually.

    Now I just saw one o’ those like I spelled it in #121…

    bats:[, all I can find is the angry version of, I think, the sound you mentioned: “MMMM!”, with the first ‘M’ drawn in shaky style. Like alot of the Curly character’s dialogue, there’s a musical note, capturing the high pitch of his voice in general. Maybe “Mmmm” (with the lettering getting smaller) would do it.

    Probably more than you were asking for…

  127. seismic-2
    September 20th, 2009 at 4:24 pm [Reply]

    121 Mibbitmaker – since Batiuk is indeed following in Dave Sim’s footsteps in many regards, I hope he takes one further important concept from Cerebus and has Crankshaft die alone, unloved, and unmourned. And soon. Very, very soon.

  128. Lanfranc
    September 20th, 2009 at 4:26 pm [Reply]

    116 – MW Death Pool:
    (1) Friday;
    (2) shot once, in a critical, but ultimately not life-threatening condition;
    (3) nine;
    (4) Scott recovers, Adrian learns a “valuable lesson” about not passing up martital bliss when given the chance, marries him, and wastes the rest of her life away in an existential wasteland with no opportunities for personal development or fulfillment beyond the quiet, uninspiring family life…

    Oh, sorry. Got carried away a bit there.

  129. seismic-2
    September 20th, 2009 at 4:29 pm [Reply]

    A3G “Medicine is an imperfect art.” And if there’s anyone who should know about imperfect art, it’s someone who draws…

    Nah, too easy.

  130. Tiako
    September 20th, 2009 at 4:33 pm [Reply]

    Holy shit, Hootin’ Holler is industrialized?

  131. AeroSquid
    September 20th, 2009 at 4:54 pm [Reply]

    Death Pool:

    1. Friday

    2. Shot twice, Unresponsive, Comatose, Drooling

    3. 3 (30 if Mary is involved)

    4. Dies. DNA extraction commences, Scott eventually cloned after technology becomes available, Fights H-Addicted Future Zombies in the year 2089, Mary’s brain still active and runs the evil MeddleCorp ™. Releases a squadron of Anthropomorphic MeddleBots (that somehow resemble Adrian) to take care of the ‘Scott Problem’ once and for all.

  132. Calico
    September 20th, 2009 at 4:56 pm [Reply]

    #113 – Y’know, the thing is, even The Guiding Light knew when to quit.

    In 100 years, there will still be a RetroFOOB, recycling and recycling like an infected computer that can’t stop rebooting. Argh.

  133. Calico
    September 20th, 2009 at 5:03 pm [Reply]

    #116 – OK, I’ll bite.

    1) Monday, Sept. 28
    2) Very, very bloody (Again, she better have those Crocs on)
    3) Refer to the final scene in “Bonnie and Clyde”
    4) Adrian too goes to Peace Village and remains celibate. Mary goes to Vietnam once a year to meddle. One of those trips she brings Susan Boyle along to sing for the poor children.

  134. Amateur
    September 20th, 2009 at 5:03 pm [Reply]

    #131 — AeroSquid raises a good point. Feel free to factor Mary involvement into your LOAR (Length of Adrian’s Remorse) calculations.

  135. Alfred E. Neuman
    September 20th, 2009 at 5:07 pm [Reply]

    PV— I know that we have a lot of experts on Olde English on this site. I have a question for you: Was it common in medieval England for people to use Yiddish terms like “Feh”?

  136. sugarpie
    September 20th, 2009 at 5:10 pm [Reply]

    116, Amateur

    1. Tuesday

    2. Some other cop gets shot, Adrian mistakenly thinks it’s Scott and she swallows some poison. Scott comes galloping into the ER, sees the writhing, soon-to-be-dead Adrian, kills Detective Paris in a fit of pique, slips the ring off Adrian’s twitching finger and returns it to the SRPD evidence room.

    3. Zero. Adrian’s dead. Alas.

    4. Vowing to live a chaste life dedicated to eradicating Santa Royal’s evildoers and welfare cheats, Scott realizes all’s well that ends well.

  137. Poteet
    September 20th, 2009 at 5:15 pm [Reply]

    # 134 Amateur — Thanks. That’s why I bet 14 days, but I was probably too optimistic.

  138. Amateur
    September 20th, 2009 at 5:25 pm [Reply]

    #137 — Ah well, if you were too optimistic, I was the Second Coming of Pollyanna. You’re probably way nearer the mark than I am.

  139. Buck Ripsnort
    September 20th, 2009 at 5:31 pm [Reply]

    That first panel of BG&SS: Odd, that’s my exact expression when pointing to this strip, but I’m not laughing.

  140. seismic-2
    September 20th, 2009 at 5:34 pm [Reply]

    Death Pool (What’s the prize? I suggest a DVD of “South Pacific”.):

    (1) Day: Thursday

    (2) Condition: Shot once, arrives at ER unconscious and in critical condition. Adrian is called to come perform surgery, she sees who’s the patient on the gurney, and she faints. More medical attention will be devoted to resuscitating her than him.

    (3) Shame and self-loathing: The rest of her life. No, say 18 strips.

    (4) Outcome: Scott eventually regains consciousness, just long enough for him to see that the person treating him is wearing his ring, and then he dies of shock. Adrian performs the autopsy, she puts his ring on his finger, and then she amputates it, takes it home, and has it taxidermied. OK, that won’t happen, but it would be cool. What will happen is that Dr. Jeff will administer the eulogy, describing Scott at length as the son of the finest man he ever met, but no one will pay attention, since they will all be distracted by the hideous color of his jacket. Then back to the Charterstone pool-side wake, for salmon squares all around!

  141. Poteet
    September 20th, 2009 at 5:37 pm [Reply]

    MW — This is a small side wager, I guess. Since we are now heading into a tense and difficult period during which something is actually going to happen, how often do we think the narration box will show up to help us understand and appreciate what’s going on over the next two weeks? I say we count each and every appearance of the narration box, including the moments when it sonorously proclaims “Meanwhile.” And my bet (starting 9/21 and ending 10/5) is twelve.

  142. bats :[
    September 20th, 2009 at 5:40 pm [Reply]

    118. Islamorada Girl: only with more teeth!

  143. KarMann
    September 20th, 2009 at 5:45 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ #142: Don’t you mean ‘motif’?

  144. queek
    September 20th, 2009 at 5:46 pm [Reply]

    141: I’m still having withdrawal symptoms from the lack of a Narration Box in the Sunday Phantom.

  145. bats :[
    September 20th, 2009 at 6:03 pm [Reply]

    143. KarMann: touche’! (which is a fancy French pronunciation for butt, you know)

    Which reminds me. I HATE HATE HATE FC’s cutesey definitions (aren’t they called Dollyisms or something equally nauseating?). I almost didn’t read OBH’s strip today because of them, and they still kind of squick me out (I’ve been exposed to FC decades longer then OBH), but to its credit, OBH delivers the funny. And even dares to use Big Words!

  146. blammers66
    September 20th, 2009 at 6:05 pm [Reply]

    WESTVIEW, OH (AP) It was disclosed today in a rather wordy, text-intense comic strip that the Brittish 60′s group The Beatles apparently had some sort of lasting affect upon the modern rock and roll industry. Unnamed sources said that this group – which allegedly used the alias “The Fab Four” – may have had millions of fans world wide, and quite possibly recorded more than a few hit songs.

  147. bats :[
    September 20th, 2009 at 6:08 pm [Reply]

    135. AEN: quick, to the Compact Oxford English Dictionary! While “feh” isn’t mentioned (probably because it’s a more modern word of Yiddish origin), “feigh” (pronounced just about the same), is an English (from Scandanavian) term of disgust. Arthur’s old, he’s just getting the most bang with the fewest letters…
    Jews in Vikingland? It could happen.

  148. Dr. Weird
    September 20th, 2009 at 6:19 pm [Reply]

    Mary Worth Dead Pool

    I highly doubt we’ll see Adrian acting in a medical capacity when Scott takes a bullet (or 12). Union rules forbid another strip from having more medical drama than the dedicated doctor strip, Rex Morgan, MD.

    September 20th, 2009 at 6:27 pm [Reply]

    RMMD: that old lady in the last box is Mary Worth, draped in a gigantic, ant-infested salmon square. No wonder we haven’t seen her for a couple of days.

  150. Amateur
    September 20th, 2009 at 6:31 pm [Reply]

    #141 — Hmm, that’s a good one. I’ll say eight appearances of the narration box. With two vague and misused profound and poignant quotations.

    The prize for the death pool — let’s see, how about a ring from a Crackerjack box? Do they still put rings in Crackerjack boxes? (. . . Now that I think about it, do they still make Crackerjack?)

  151. Sequitur
    September 20th, 2009 at 6:32 pm [Reply]

    This OBH is not the one we got in our Sunday funnies in our paper today. Here’s the one we got.

  152. AeroSquid
    September 20th, 2009 at 6:53 pm [Reply]

    Mary Visits the ICU

    Mary: “Knock, knock !”

    Scott: “Gurgle….wheez.”

    Adrian: “Oh, Mary !”

    Mary: “That’s right, Adrian. He dying. You SHOULD feel bad.”

    Scott: “Wheez.”

    Mary: “I get to you shortly, Scott. Here. Have a Jell-O Shrimp Fiesta..since you can’t eat solid food…anymore…because you have no mouth….not as such.”

    Scott: ” *choke* *cough* WHEEEEEEEZ.”

    Life Sign Monitor: *BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEP*

    Mary: “Anyway, I was just at the Bum Boat and……..”

    Adrian: “Oh, Mary !”

    Mary: “….AND I noticed that ALOT of illegal aliens seem to work there. I’m learning Spanish so I can El Meddle-O in their ling-O……So…..Scott. How’s tricks ? I hear they have that cloning thing almost down. I heard the Koreans copied a goat or some such. Fed a whole village or whatever they live in. Maybe you can be cloned. Then Adrian can have MANY copies of you when you go out to fight fires or crack whores or whatever it is you do these days. It would be like a never-ending fountain of Scotts.”

    Adrian: “Oh, Mary ! I want THIS Scott !”

    Scott: *Gurrrrrrrgh !*

    Life Sign Monitor: *BEEP-ITY BEEP ?*

    Mary: “You’d let Scott kiss you with that…..umm…mouth-like….orifice ? You need to be realistic here, my dear. Scott is about to become an…..ex-Scott, to be delicate. You need to come to the Charterstone singles mixers more often. I seem to recall at least one young man with a mouth that MIGHT be available.”

    Life Sign Monitor: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

    It kinda goes on like this for awhile…..

  153. Poteet
    September 20th, 2009 at 7:30 pm [Reply]

    MT — This beautiful system only works as long as there are predators. Don’t get me started.

    RMMD — I take a little solace from the thought that while we are watching this interminable tale, Rex might be actually practicing medicine.

  154. zerowolf
    September 20th, 2009 at 7:40 pm [Reply]

    I’m not surprised Dr. Bryant has cancer, everything in his office is nicotine yellow. Even Aristotle’s tie and coat changed color in his presence.

  155. AtomicDog
    September 20th, 2009 at 7:49 pm [Reply]

    Zits – All right, time to get out my pedant stick.

    “Disciplinarian” would be a judge or a corrections officer, not a cop.

    “Counsel” would be an attorney, not a judge.

    And who in hell purses their lips when they blow a whistle? (Or suck on a straw? I swear, Jeremy does this all the damn time!)

  156. Soccerhead
    September 20th, 2009 at 7:50 pm [Reply]

    Shoe: Hey Cosmo, since you’ve had that car so long, why haven’t you figured out which side of the pumps to drive on when you buy gas?
    Blondie: Daisy is my favorite comic strip dog, and she could be the smartest one in the Bumstead house.
    BB: sometimes I like to think that BB is set in the 1950s, like today looking at the people Beetle misses.
    the Amazing Sputter-Man: I can’t stop looking at Mary Jane today.

  157. Ned Ryerson
    September 20th, 2009 at 7:50 pm [Reply]

    Does anybody have a recipe for Jell-O Shrimp Fiesta?

  158. AhClem
    September 20th, 2009 at 7:58 pm [Reply]

    #152 AeroSquid -
    What would be even more awesome in your scenario would be if Mary did a John Cleese-like riff:

    Mary: Um…now look…now look, Adrian, I’ve definitely ‘ad enough of this. That man is definitely deceased, and when I saw him not ‘alf an hour ago, you assured me that his total lack of movement was due to him bein’ tired and shagged out following a prolonged heroin bust.

    Adrian: Well, he’s…he’s, ah…probably pining for the fjords.

    Mary: PININ’ for the FJORDS?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that?, look, why did he fall flat on his back the moment we got ‘im here?

    Adrian: The Charterstone cops prefer keepin’ on their backs! Remarkable man, isn’t he, Mary? Lovely sport coat!

    Mary: Look, I took the liberty of examining that man when I got him here, and I discovered the only reason that he had been sitting on his chair in the first place was that he had been NAILED there.


    Adrian: Well, o’course he was nailed there! If I hadn’t nailed that man down, he would have nuzzled up to me, gazed at my picture in his boot, and VOOM! Feeweeweewee!

    Mary: “VOOM”?!? Adrian, this man wouldn’t “voom” if you put four million volts through him! ‘E’s bleedin’ demised!

    Adrian: No no! ‘E’s pining!

    Mary: ‘E’s not pinin’! ‘E’s passed on! This man is no more! He has ceased to be! ‘E’s expired and gone to meet ‘is maker! ‘E’s a stiff! Bereft of life, ‘e rests in peace! If you hadn’t nailed ‘im to the chair ‘e’d be pushing up the daisies! ‘Is metabolic processes are now ‘istory! ‘E’s off the twig! ‘E’s kicked the bucket, ‘e’s shuffled off ‘is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin’ choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-COP!!

  159. AeroSquid
    September 20th, 2009 at 8:00 pm [Reply]

    157. Ned Ryerson:

    1 5lb Can Jell-O brand gelatine (green)
    1 1lb Sack of Bum Boat brand Popcorn Shrimp
    add Picante as needed for taste.

    Mix in large Nacho hat, chill, serves 50. Fiesta,

  160. AeroSquid
    September 20th, 2009 at 8:02 pm [Reply]

    158. AhClem: I had that running through my head as I wrote it ! And George Castanza’s mother for some reason.

  161. Alfred E. Neuman
    September 20th, 2009 at 8:30 pm [Reply]

    #147 bats :[ --- A sheynem dank for your klug entfer to my question. I am ferklempt.

    (No, I don't know Yiddish [obviously]. I had to look up those phrases here.)

  162. True Fable
    September 20th, 2009 at 8:37 pm [Reply]

    #68 ladadog – That’s Sam in today’s final panel of JP, not Randy.

    Yes; Sam Driver the Inexplicable Chick Magnet, not Randy Parker the heir of judicial power. You can tell the difference because Sam’s hair is longer than Randy’s weird shoe polish-brush look, and Sam is the one who’s been paparazzi hunting this past week. Oh, and Sam is the one who ignores most of Abbey’s booty calls. God only knows why.

    And Gloria basically runs that office so she gets away with chewing Sam’s ass out. (In Rex Morgan lingo, that’s A@#$$.)

  163. Ukulele Ike
    September 20th, 2009 at 8:51 pm [Reply]

    seismic-2 @ 95: Thank you. There’s one sixties band I don’t happen to have in my record collection.

  164. Amateur
    September 20th, 2009 at 8:58 pm [Reply]

    #158 — *stands and applauds* Bravo!

    #159 — That could have come out of the Gallery of Regrettable Foods.

  165. Sheila Sternwell
    September 20th, 2009 at 9:01 pm [Reply]

    I would like to complain about ALL THE DAMN YELLOW in A3G today. I think my eyeballs caught on fire from reading that.

    RMMD: I like when the strip occasionally does things right, and this Sunday strip is a good example. The director IS responsible for his patients, and in my experience (sadly comprehensive: mom worked in nursing homes, both my grandmothers spent extensive time in them, I used to live on the grounds of a home) the director usually DOES do most of the work searching for lost patients, even if that means he is the guy driving around in the dead of night. You’d be surprised how many patients leave the home, sometimes with the misguided help of their relatives, who do little more than hand their great-granny the keys to her 1974 Buick Skylark (with only 6200 miles on it) and tell her she can go home.

    Yeah, this story line is depressing the hell out of me.

  166. Poteet
    September 20th, 2009 at 9:15 pm [Reply]

    # 165 Sheila — Thanks for giving us the real story.


    Luann — In which we see Luann’s parents experience a brief moment of actual clarity regarding Elwood before they lapse back into playful doltishness.

    ReFoob — In which we are reminded yet again that despite Lynn’s wishful thinking to the contrary, this strip is really, really, really dated.

  167. Poteet
    September 20th, 2009 at 9:22 pm [Reply]

    So what will happen tomorrow? Will BigTed ride the float for another week?

  168. Jumper
    September 20th, 2009 at 9:34 pm [Reply]

    Um, Uncle Lumpy.

    You have the name of Snuffy Smith’s newspaper COMMITTED TO MEMORY? (I’m assuming it’s the Hootin’ Holler Gazette.) And you just throw this in like everybody knows this?
    Josh knows who to call, alright.

    But speaking of memory, isn’t Beetle Bailey’s girlfriend supposed to be “Bunny?” Why are they writing her out of the strip? What dark secret are we being “protected” from knowing?

  169. commodorejohn
    September 20th, 2009 at 9:44 pm [Reply]

    #168 Jumper – Secret!? You mean you didn’t know about the sex tape?

  170. bats :[
    September 20th, 2009 at 9:44 pm [Reply]

    165. Sheila Sternwell: the hotel lobby of the El Cortez casino has a number of plate glass windows and doors that have a western exposure. Considering the El Cortez is one of the older Las Vegas hotels and is in downtown Las Vegas, it has none of the thrill or panache of most of the Strip hotels (walking through the smoke-filled casino itself is pretty depressing).
    Anyway, some brainiac, to counter the westering sun’s rays, had yellow reflective film plastered on all the plate glass there. If that doesn’t make the lobby look like the one for the Gehenna EconoLodge (or Dr. Moribund’s office), not much does…

  171. Ignatz
    September 20th, 2009 at 9:46 pm [Reply]

    I think those Beetle Bailey characters are from before Bunny, when it was a college strip and Beetle hadn’t yet gone into the army.

  172. buckyswife
    September 20th, 2009 at 9:47 pm [Reply]

    Niall, from a couple days ago: Aren’t the comics motivation enough to post frequently? Although I sort of like the idea of being someone’s muse….. =-)

    And Dingo, from a day or so ago: Wish I could have “praised” Pastis in person, either via your method or one of my own devising, but no such luck. Then again, the inevitable assault charges would probably have prevented me from meeting my classes tomorrow. (Still, it would have been worth it, wouldn’t it?)

    Must catch up with threads as best I can later. For now, sleep—the weekend didn’t end as I would have liked, with yesterday spent in the ER with my mom; somehow, xray technicians managed to make her back worse, and she has a fractured vertebrae. (It’s always a good time, 6 hours in a crowded emergency room, some of which is spent with your mother screaming in pain….) She’s doing better, but there’s a possibility of surgery. Gah. Really, time to sleep.

    But first: Uncle Lumpy, thank you for the laughs you’ve given me this evening after a rough couple days!

  173. bats :[
    September 20th, 2009 at 9:47 pm [Reply]

    149. Little A: why, of course it’s Mary.

    And might I add that it couldn’t happen to a nicer person.

  174. Carly
    September 20th, 2009 at 10:02 pm [Reply]

    I’m not sure I always or often agree with the wisdom that insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results, but today’s Crock is an example of a situation where the definition does fit. Sheesh.

  175. Poteet
    September 20th, 2009 at 10:12 pm [Reply]

    # 172 buckyswife — Sympathies. I hope your next few days will be better.

  176. Anna Nimity of the Jungle Patrol
    September 20th, 2009 at 10:25 pm [Reply]

    Hi all,

    Anyone know how to build a comics page that includes Sundays? Houston Chronicle does not.
    Anyone? Bueller?

  177. AhClem
    September 20th, 2009 at 10:44 pm [Reply]

    #176 Anna Nimity of the JP -
    Dean Booth has a Sunday page that works quite well:

  178. Dono
    September 20th, 2009 at 11:02 pm [Reply]

    Regarding the Rex Morgan:

    A typographic cuss word should never be longer than the word it’s replacing.

    And what’s Commissioner Gordon doing there in Panel 4?

  179. AeroSquid
    September 20th, 2009 at 11:08 pm [Reply]

    And now: Sunday’s Mark Trail cleaned up for the squeamish:

  180. ladadog
    September 20th, 2009 at 11:12 pm [Reply]

    #162: Dear True Fable,
    I did know that was Sam Driver who came bursting in late to work after an early morning tangle with the ugliest paparazzi ever.
    I do know Gloria was referring to new Judge Randy Parker.
    What I am guilty of is a poorly written and confusing post. I’d like to blame it on a late night out, but, sadly, it was just my sloppy writing.

  181. mollificent
    September 20th, 2009 at 11:24 pm [Reply]

    It simply cannot be overstated how much I loved today’s ‘Lio’.

    (and commodorejohn, I must agree re: RMMD. I laughed myself silly. Funnies indeed!)

    buckyswife: Yikes! Sleep well, and I hope your mother’s condition improves!

  182. Kallista
    September 20th, 2009 at 11:36 pm [Reply]

    179 Squiddly: Simply brilliant! The last panel captured the Highlights tone perfectly. Remember Goofus and Gallant? And the “WEEE” just killed me.

  183. Kallista
    September 20th, 2009 at 11:38 pm [Reply]

    Also, 179 Squiddish, when the bear asked her rhetorical question, I wanted to answer, “Yes, and Moly B would so smack that ass and ride the wave in.”

  184. AeroSquid
    September 20th, 2009 at 11:40 pm [Reply]

    182. Kallista: Ah, yes. Goofus was in the evil parallel universe. He worshipped goats and never took his meds. Gallant always took his meds and had a pet lamb.

  185. MolyBendum
    September 20th, 2009 at 11:41 pm [Reply]

    Sheesh I wish I could see all the prettty pictures too.

  186. Poteet
    September 21st, 2009 at 12:20 am [Reply]

    9/21 MW — This is soooo wonderful. Look at those drug cartel members gripping their heroin-filled briefcases and waving their guns aloft like a Saturday Night Live skit. They’re having so much fun they don’t even notice that Scott and his colleagues have all the concealment skills of giraffes on an ice floe.

  187. KarMann
    September 21st, 2009 at 12:27 am [Reply]

    OT, if there is such a thing there, but the kids in front of me here at the coffee shop are reading Garfield Minus Garfield right in front of me here. People I don’t know, that is; I didn’t suggest it at all. Just wanted to share with folks who’d appreciate.

  188. MolyBendum
    September 21st, 2009 at 12:29 am [Reply]

    Mary – Yep, the narration box is off to a flying start too.

  189. Poteet
    September 21st, 2009 at 12:34 am [Reply]

    # 141 — Two boxes on Monday. Wow. I may have seriously underestimate the determination of Narration Box to narrate us through this raid.

  190. Poteet
    September 21st, 2009 at 12:35 am [Reply]

    # 189 — Underestimated. Good night, Poteet.

  191. bats :[
    September 21st, 2009 at 1:28 am [Reply]

    Ruh-roh! Just finished watching the Emmys…now to the really important stuff: Monday strips!

    MW: wow! Just like the movies! DON’T wear your helmets, so the readers can see your rugged good looks, Scott, as you get plugged by the bad guys! Yay!

    Wow. I got nothin’.

  192. bats :[
    September 21st, 2009 at 1:30 am [Reply]

    OTOH, at least Sunday 9CL was a Solange Sunday. Yay!

  193. True Fable
    September 21st, 2009 at 1:39 am [Reply]

    Fist O Justice Theater Oh, the perils of wearing khaki.

    Master Poopypants Screw you, Marvin. That kid’s just got big incisors. At least he’s not a proven Shit Factory.

    Mary’s Death Pool Watch I say he’ll get shot this Thursday. He won’t die, but he’ll be brought to the hospital where Adrian will go all hysterically weepy when he’s dramatically brought to her surgical arena (somehow she’ll suddenly be a surgeon) and we’ll get a closeup of her crazy eyes as she recognizes him. Long slow recovery, true love wins out, Mary tosses around platitudes like confetti. hoo fucking ray.

    OMG Days like today’s strip make me adore Ruthie.

    R=R I know a kid who’s about to be fragged by every single child on his schoolbus.

    The Amazing Slothman So why does Spidey believe he has to answer police calls? Shouldn’t he leave that up to, oh I don’t know; the police? Or is ordinary crime the only thing he can manage without a remote?

    Crack Boiling a talking chicken, entrails and all. Yum yum, gotta love that desert cuisine.

  194. Hobbes Fan
    September 21st, 2009 at 1:48 am [Reply]

    MT: Well, this turned James Bondian pretty damn quickly.

    MW: Ahem…the “outskirts” of Santa Royale. What, the parking lot for the Bum Boat?

  195. Ev
    September 21st, 2009 at 10:41 am [Reply]

    Snuffy Smith: Mario has not aged well since Luigi’s death.

  196. LanceThruster
    September 21st, 2009 at 1:47 pm [Reply]

    RMMD – Is there a reason that the men have Hitler Youth haircuts? Even the guy trembling from Mr. Howard’s verbal abuse has a shadow Hitler moustache.

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