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Mean streets of Santa Royale

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9/22 Update: If your contribution arrived before 9:00 (e) yesterday, your “What Would Margo Do?” bracelet is in the mail! Thank you!

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Mary Worth, 9/22/09

Shots ring out in the seedy Santa Royale warehouse district as Operation H-Town goes down! Detective Scott Hewlett seems determined to shoot his own team leader there in panel 1 — maybe because the guy’s hiding in a box, or maybe for his shaky grasp of the concept of “arrest.” But the ’70’s thugs in panel 2 aren’t waiting for Scott’s move: they may not be “reasonable men and women”, but they know how to act on “an expectation that they are free to leave.”

Operation H-Town Update: Faithful reader 8th Man Fan has generously created Scott’s Drug Bust Pool spreadsheet, where you can track such issues as:

What day will Scott arrive at the hospital?
What will his condition be?
When will Adrian express her shame and self-loathing?*
What is the final outcome?

* for the events of this story line, not the Ted Confey story — no cheating, you rascal!

Play along using the awesome Scott’s Drug Bust Pool Form. Thank you, faithful reader 8th Man Fan!

Crankshaft, 9/22/09

Ed Crankshaft: not just old and nasty — old, nasty, and weak. Though in fairness, that may be stiffer wood than he’s seen in a while.

Zippy the Pinhead, 9/22/09

Zippy discovers Twitter!

Ziggy, 9/22/09

Ziggy discovers blogs!

Margo Moments — a Fall Fundraiser special, part 2

Apartment 3-G (panels) — 3/22, 3/26, 4/8, 4/16, 6/11, 6/28, 7/27, 9/18, 9/23/2006

What would Margo do? Contribute to The Comics Curmudgeon? Well, probably not — but you can! And we’ll rush your “What Would Margo Do?” bracelet to you right away, so you can unlock the power of Margo in your life!

– Uncle Lumpy

This entry was posted on Tuesday, September 22, 2009 at 01:46 am and is filed under Crankshaft, Mary Worth, Ziggy, Zippy the Pinhead. |

231 responses to “Mean streets of Santa Royale”

MolyBendum
September 22nd, 2009 at 1:53 am [Reply]

9/23 Mary Worth Spoiler – Scott takes a bullet in the RADIUS. As he drops his WEAPON he mutters, “Do me a FAVOR…tell my FLAME Adrian…tell her….ahhh…WORDS FAIL ME.”
Rainbird
September 22nd, 2009 at 1:55 am [Reply]

I love how Moy builds up to the great shootout. What have we been waiting, a couple weeks now for Scott to go down in flames. I think this is the fastest she’s moved in a while. Are we going to be getting faster story lines these days.

But, unlike the phishing story, this is not going to help any lonely senior citizen, or even those young meth heads out there.
Uncle Lumpy
September 22nd, 2009 at 2:07 am [Reply]

#2 Rainbird –

Also, Giella’s art really stepped up the last coupla days. Dare we wish more bloodshed to keep the magic coming?
Mibbitmaker
September 22nd, 2009 at 2:10 am [Reply]

Cranky: Ol’ Cranky is on his way to being the (relatively) poor man’s Montgomery Burns.

MW: Okay, I haven’t placed bet yet. Uh……Wednesday?
Chantilly Say
September 22nd, 2009 at 2:10 am [Reply]

Scott, of course, will be tragically cut down in the first barrage of fire from the gangsters’ guns. His loudmouthed comrade will spend the duration of the gun battle cowering on the floor, having been blinded instantly by that curiously gun-shaped flashlight in the foreground.
Jamus the Bartender
September 22nd, 2009 at 2:23 am [Reply]

MW. Coolest. Mary Worth Panel. Ever.
Farley's Revenge
September 22nd, 2009 at 2:23 am [Reply]

MW: One of the few times my grandfather ever raised his voice to me was when he chewed me out for swinging the little .22 he’d given me to teach me how to shoot. I have never forgotten that lecture.

Apparently the guy in the background didn’t have a grandfather who cared enough to yell at him because he’s about to shoot himself in the head.
Farley's Revenge
September 22nd, 2009 at 2:26 am [Reply]

Since I missed this thread but had seen the MW strip, a repost from YT:

MW: Holy crap! Action is occurring! Big action! Det. Boyfriend better have his last will and temperament filed with his lawyer because his time in Santa Royale is numbered.

Mary’s gonna be pissed that she was not informed that action was to occur and she was busy baking salmon squares and swigging potato-ade when the action went down.

Hm…Speaking of Mary, I wonder if the old girl is still caught in the gravitational pull of Adrian’s ring? She could be known as Planet Meddle.
Roto13
September 22nd, 2009 at 2:39 am [Reply]

Gee, I hope the gun that kills Scott is the raygun in the second panel.
Mibbitmaker
September 22nd, 2009 at 2:41 am [Reply]

S-M: She didn’t.

Ghost-Who-Is-The-Oppressor: Oh, so the villains are male chauvinist pigs as well? Is there anything these bad guys DON’T do?

OBH: Oh, lord, as if the mercury thing wasn’t enough…

A3G: Oh, Margo’s getting married?

FC: Technically, she started being 5 well before I was 5!

Cleats: Jack will be the Sarah Palin of sports.

FW: Nobody since 1993.

H&L: Hi is no republican.
un_malpaso
September 22nd, 2009 at 2:47 am [Reply]

This did NOT happen in Mary Worth. I know I am just experiencing an absinthe-triggered headspin and I am not witnessing a story arc that involves actual ignition.
KarMann
September 22nd, 2009 at 2:52 am [Reply]

Agnes: I know she’s short and all, but that really doesn’t look like her feet under that blanket!

@Farley’s Revenge #8: Does MW have a couple known as Jenny and The Wimp?
KarMann
September 22nd, 2009 at 2:55 am [Reply]

Oh, and Crankshaft: Another case of the artist drawing something he knows nothing about. That’s not the kind of axe you use for splitting wood; that’s the kind for cutting through the wood. A splitter is used for splitting wood (duh), and has a much less wide but thicker & heavier head. Or you can use a wedge and hammer.
MolyBendum
September 22nd, 2009 at 3:04 am [Reply]

Beetle – You wouldn’t get very far in life not saying ‘is’.
Shoulda sent this “joke” over to the Crankshaft peeps. Maybe the joke is that this strip is so out of touch with today’s Army and life in general. Maybe the joke is that the Walkers make money on this crap. Maybe the joke is on us. Ahh, now I get it. Ha!

Baldo – Don’t miss tomorrow’s exciting Hispanic Heritage Month adventure as Papi rents a Ryder truck and packs 45 of his closest friends and relatives inside for a 14 hour drive around town! Then they’ll hang out in the Home Depot parking lot! And make tacos! And say “ese” and “vato”!

PBS - Kiko should try getting into BDSM porn, I’ve seen a cactus get some “love” there.

Slylock – Haha, after chopping off the dog’s paws the kid set the knife down backwards.
Farley's Revenge
September 22nd, 2009 at 3:06 am [Reply]

KarMann@#12: Toby and Jeff would be suitable equivalents and equally in need of boots to the head, IMO.
Tintin LaChance
September 22nd, 2009 at 3:21 am [Reply]

Every time I read Zippy, I’m reminded of why I don’t read Zippy.
Lesser Whark
September 22nd, 2009 at 4:13 am [Reply]

#7 Farley’s Revenge: But every action hero knows that you only hit anything with a pump action shotgun if you pump a round into the chamber with a dramatic ‘Ka-chunk’ sound just before firing!

Disclaimer: I don’t know what a pump action shotgun looks like, and I doubt the illustrators know either. Also, this guy clearly isn’t an action hero because he’s (A) a heroin dealer, (B) wearing a pale blue suit, and (C) lives in Mary Worth.

While we’re discussing firearm safety, I understand that firing any weapon on fully automatic while holding it in one hand will spray bullets in a 180-degree arc in front of you, not to mention breaking your wrist. However, the perpetrator is wearing a black coat which manufactures its own wind. This makes him a genuine action villain, so he’ll be okay until the final climactic showdown, when he’ll die a karmic and gruesome death at the hands of Dick Tracy.
Mars
September 22nd, 2009 at 4:26 am [Reply]

I’ve never seen “Zippy” appear here before.

My paper hasn’t carried it in a long time.

….It still makes no sense whatsoever.

For the uneducated, today’s Spider-Man is for you, sort of. What the movies ignored was the serialized way Mary Jane was introduced, that couldn’t be replicated in a movie. Her face was hidden for months, and Aunt May wanted to introduce her to Pete, but he kept running the other way figuring anybody May recommended had to be a complete dog.

The moment he finally saw her — and her face was shown for the first time to everybody else as well — is one of the most famous moments in comic book history, and it’s why she’s always calling him “tiger.”

Her original quote is kind of cocky and awkward by modern literary standards, but there’s no point in arguing now since the whole series loves to revisit the same scenes over and over. Today, if you haven’t heard of it, Spider-Man repeats it for you himself. Isn’t that nice of him?
Sparky AKA Able Bodied Seaman Craggy Fjord
September 22nd, 2009 at 4:41 am [Reply]

I don’t know who’d I love to visit more while wearing Ninja Black, Tom B. or Brooke McEldowney.

And do we have TJ in Luann all wrong? Is he doing the dads for sympathy and not the moms for cash as we thought all along? Or is it both? And WTF does the rich shrimp have in mind?

I’m thinking the cop will live – but Adrian will let the bozo (don’t you love how all the cops are Aryan superhero types – yet the dealers are all brunettes) who shot him die on the operating table.
Karmyn
September 22nd, 2009 at 4:46 am [Reply]

The only thing that would surprise me at this point in Mary Worth would be if Scott actually survives. Or Adrian falls pregnant. Which just brought up images I do not want in my head.
Sheila Sternwell
September 22nd, 2009 at 5:02 am [Reply]

Aw. Margo hugging the girls in the retrospective melted my cold, dead heart.
Alfred E. Neuman
September 22nd, 2009 at 5:40 am [Reply]

MC— Norm never considered the possibility that Rex actually hooked up with a 14 year-old girl.

MW— When Delilah slammed Charley’s door a while back, I figured that would be the most action we would see in MW for the next couple of years. Boy, was I wrong. I agree with Jamus (#6) that panel 2 is a MW classic. Giella deserves the Order of the Golden Salmon Square for that one.
Dragon of Life
September 22nd, 2009 at 6:26 am [Reply]

Talk him up all you want, but you can’t deny that trenchcoat-wearing, one-hand-weapon-firing action villain guy is delivering an epic shrug right there. “Do… do we kill them? I mean, can we take these guys seriously? Well, everyone else is firing… when in Rome, I guess…”
John C Fremont
September 22nd, 2009 at 6:46 am [Reply]

I wonder where a guy, an ordinary fellow such as myself, can go to check my runescape account and, oh, I don’t know, power leveling or some such?

Y’know, Dana Andrews said prunes gave him the runes.

I should probably not go around referencing spam items that will likely be deleted by the time anyone gets around to reading my “humorous” comments. But I can’t help myself.

MW – I expected a lot from this shootout today, but one thing I didn’t expect was Paul Shaffer. And Silent Bob. Okay, two things I did not expect. And an almost fanatical devotion to the pope. Okay, three things I did not expect. And nice red uniforms – Oh damn!

DT – Okay, I’m at least 24 hours late, but it was the clown? I, for one, am shocked.
john
September 22nd, 2009 at 7:01 am [Reply]

Watch your back, Spider-man, Mary Worth is all of a sudden much more exciting than you are.

Wait, that’s always been true. How depressing.
john
September 22nd, 2009 at 7:05 am [Reply]

The Dick Tracy artist must have been sitting in his studio saying “Man, everyone I draw ends up looking like a circus freak. Heyyyy that gives me an idea!”
MolyBendum
September 22nd, 2009 at 7:08 am [Reply]

Oh, it’s a video game…..I’d been looking to get my runescape serviced lately, but I think I’ve got my euphamisms crossed.

I was thinking trenchcoat guy looked like Joe Mantegna.

Also, I’ve shot an uzi sideways before and it’s not a smart thing to do. I’ll assume Baldy is pumped full of adrenaline, or heroin, and really doesn’t care if he shoots his own people or not.
AeroSquid
September 22nd, 2009 at 7:08 am [Reply]

MW: Watch out , Scott! ! The bald one is firing his in ‘gangsta-fashion’ !
Flo\'s Rolling Pin
September 22nd, 2009 at 7:31 am [Reply]

I’m surprised Ice-T found time, busy as his career is, to do a guest shot in Mary Worth.
Ben the Cartoon
September 22nd, 2009 at 7:45 am [Reply]

Can I have a “best of Tommie” compilation? I feel she doesn’t get enough love here.

Maybe Margo’s “mousy assistant whose name I haven’t bothered to learn” would be nice as well.
Vince M
September 22nd, 2009 at 7:49 am [Reply]

29. AeroSquid: Reminds me of a favorite “Simpsons” exchange:
Thug: Hey, Boss! Is it okay if I hold my gun out sideways like this?
Boss: Anything you want, Birthday Boy!
Mike Joffe
September 22nd, 2009 at 7:50 am [Reply]

aw jeez, please don’t make me think about Ed Crank’s shaft again.
LP2004
September 22nd, 2009 at 7:54 am [Reply]

MW – “Adrian, I know it’s not much consolation, but at least Scott died bringing about the coolest single panel this strip’s ever seen.”
8th Man Fan
September 22nd, 2009 at 7:56 am [Reply]

MW: John Woo-ified!

The other day, Amateur proposed The Scott’s Drug Bust Pool and a couple of ‘Mudges placed bets.

To keep track, took the liberty of setting up a Scott’s Drug Bust Pool spreadsheet on Google Docs to keep track of the bets. Even worse, I set up a Scott’s Drug Bust Pool form, in case anyone wants to add to it directly. (Yeah, no life, why do you ask?)

Personally, I think this story’s going to go more like this. (Apologies in advance for the earworm)
8th Man Fan
September 22nd, 2009 at 8:00 am [Reply]

#35 me: Was so busy testing the links, lost track of how many times I was keeping track. Sorry ’bout that.
mordock999
September 22nd, 2009 at 8:12 am [Reply]

Today’s comics

Mary Worth — (Missing Panel 3) “Is THAT a ‘NO’???” — Detective Hewlet

Zippy — “Actually I LIED. I STILL watch FOX News and by the way, %$#! Rachel Maddow!” — Lil Jolly Green Jr,

LUANN

Luann — “WHAT are we doing at the Airport, Elwood?!?”

Elwood — Why, darlin’ Ahm, gonna fly you in muh Pri-vet Jet to ah VERY Spezial Hide-ah-way! Don’t worry ah’ll have ya back home in a month!”

_________________________

DEATH to TJ!!!
hilzoy fangirl
September 22nd, 2009 at 8:13 am [Reply]

MW: So is Adrian going to end up marrying Robocop? Because that would be pretty sweet.
tb4000
September 22nd, 2009 at 8:25 am [Reply]

Luann: And this week shall be Greg Evans’ first turn at a date rape plot in his strip.
Niall
September 22nd, 2009 at 8:34 am [Reply]

I’d say things, but today’s PBS hits much too close to home.
Larry Fine
September 22nd, 2009 at 8:36 am [Reply]

Today there was real action in Mary Worth. And in a related story, hell froze over.
Hip Young Urban Plugger
September 22nd, 2009 at 8:37 am [Reply]

@KarMann The proper tool to use in splitting wood is called a maul, and no, that’s not one. In addition to the difference in the head, the handle is much too short.

Also, properly splitting wood requires very little force on the downstroke; the weight of the maul head does most of the work. If Crankshaft was going to have trouble splitting wood, it’d be on the upstroke.

A comic where Crankshaft lifted the maul up over his head and toppled over backwards still wouldn’t be “funny” except in the Tom Batuik sense where “funny” means that something painful or unpleasant happened to someone dislikeable. But it would at least be more accurate.
Larry Fine
September 22nd, 2009 at 8:41 am [Reply]

“Pie” the Cheerleader? Is that what the kids call it these days?
Ellie
September 22nd, 2009 at 8:42 am [Reply]

MW: Good Lord! How did we get from innocent ice skating storylines to THIS??
mvg
September 22nd, 2009 at 8:57 am [Reply]

Uncle Lumpy (Y26): “I will whack the clown for a very reasonable amount.”

Now there’s a euphemism that just might catch on.

A3G: Why is Ruby dressed like a turn-of-the-last-century Cockney washerwoman? Is she an extra in the community-theater production of “My Fair Lady”?

FW: The new storyline’s a snore, but at least Rana makes waiting for Neddy’s plane to land bearable.

MW: So where’s Capt. Mustache, the commander who doesn’t know a shakedown from an exchange, in all this? He must be back at headquarters, de-Friending each officer on the precinct Facebook page as they go down like space aliens in an ’80s video arcade.

MW again: The panel #2 guy in the pale blue suit apparently has no legs. The cartel can’t be all bad if they employ the differently abled. Maybe H-Town stands for Hire the Handicapped Town.

MT: “But if I am too late … well, meh.”

Luann: Methinks Luann is about to discover that “roofie” is more than a pwecious name for a wittle doggie.
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
September 22nd, 2009 at 8:58 am [Reply]

Hey, Uncle Lumpy, runescape @ 22 is spam.

Now let’s kick out tha snark, H-Town style!

9CL: Now I know what Amos sees in Mary: She’s a nympho.

Agnes: I’ve had nights like that.

BB: Ha ha! Oh, and: Twitter!

The Spectacular Spider-Brick @ 6 yester-yesterthread said:

C’haft: Ha, ha! Crankshaft is really old and can’t do strenuous physical activity like chopping wood like he used to! Oh, my, is there anything the decrepitude of age can’t make funny?

Repeat as necessary until this non-storyline is over.

(WT)DT: Y’know, Ringo the Ringmaster, I really don’t think Clowno the Clown is all that concerned with what happens to the circus. Call it a hunch.

EC: This fortnight’s dead horse: Bike Against Hunger. You many now skip this strip until Sunday, Oct. 4. You’re welcome.

GA: I am totally down with this storyline, because it’s totally plausible that people waste their time and effort forging tickets to broken-down bluesmen performing in community theaters in towns whose major industries are a garage and a junkyard.

thorps. Oooh, that Duncan’s so cool in his DESPISED T-shirt! If you know the readers hate you, might as well own it.

JP: Va va… va… va… wha? Is there a plot here? I forgot.

Luann: “Ooh, these fuzzy cuffs are so cute! What are they for?” “Just drink your- uh, cider.”

MW: Blasters are such clumsy, inelegant weapons.

MC: What? Not “Avril Lemur”? Or “50 Colt”? You’re losing your touch, Power.

PmP: Who let the Plugger out? Who, who, who who?

Ghost-Who-Fails-To-Protect-Those-He-Loves: “The strawberry blonde? Oh, wait, you mean MY right?”
Stij
September 22nd, 2009 at 8:59 am [Reply]

Wait, did Mary Worth just have a dynamic, fairly well-drawn action panel?

I…I’m not sure what to think.
One-eyed Wolfdog
September 22nd, 2009 at 9:01 am [Reply]

50 Scent would be pretty good for a skunk character…
Amateur
September 22nd, 2009 at 9:02 am [Reply]

#35 — Hey, thanks, 8th Man Fan! I was wondering how we were going to keep track of all of it! :-)

Can I add a side bet to my entry via your form? It won’t erase the rest of my entry, will it? (I’m not experienced with the program, as you can see.)
Écureuil Écumant
September 22nd, 2009 at 9:08 am [Reply]

MW: I like the backlighting behind the cops. Sweet tactics there, fellas. Set ‘em up, knock ‘em down. Although I imagine if the lights went out, they’d hold their flashlights between their legs so they could keep both hands free.

But wait, you say! If they turned out the lights, we’d miss out on all this glorious action. Well, just take a lesson from Elrod. It’s been nighttime for an entire week in MT — not that anyone could tell.
Sequitur
September 22nd, 2009 at 9:09 am [Reply]

Damn clowns.
McManx
September 22nd, 2009 at 9:15 am [Reply]

MW — Egads, it’s Lex Luthor! Who knew the Legion of Doom was operating out of Santa Royale? Oh, right…that’s how Mary Worth maintains an expensive condo on just Social Security.

Luann — This strip generally tends to draw proportional human figures, even increasing the anatomical accuracy of late. I guess that means that this Elwood character is either Quasimodo or a Hobbit. Creepy.

Phantom — “Yeah, ha, ha! Stupid human rights! What a fuckin’ joke. Wonder how long we can milk this UN sham…”

Snuffy — “Yeah, ha, ha! Stupid ministry! What a fuckin’ joke. Wonder how long I can milk this preaching sham…”
8th Man Fan
September 22nd, 2009 at 9:16 am [Reply]

#49 Amateur: The form enables adding new entries, it’s not set up to edit existing ones. If you post the side bet on CC, I’ll add it to your entry on the spreadsheet, though. (That actually means tonight when I get back from work. Which reminds me, I’m late…)
The Great Kazoo
September 22nd, 2009 at 9:18 am [Reply]

MW: I’m pretty sure those are ’80s thugs.
Sequitur
September 22nd, 2009 at 9:19 am [Reply]

SQUID!
mvg
September 22nd, 2009 at 9:24 am [Reply]

Phantom: Why did Mrs. Phantom & Ms. Freckles switch places between panels like that? Is that some sort of insidious U.N. game?
And is that a Klingon pushing the dolly in the background of panel one?

me (45): Gloria Sanchez helps w/the waiting, too. Why aren’t their more pool parties HERE rather than in Charterstone, where it’s all marbled Scottish flab & pruny, spider-veined old leather?
Écureuil Écumant
September 22nd, 2009 at 9:27 am [Reply]

My Cage: Twittuurrrggghhh…
MolyBendum
September 22nd, 2009 at 9:28 am [Reply]

- Gil Thorp -
Duncan Daley is the MAN! And he’s scorin’ with the ladies! Maybe he’s not such a dweeb after all. And he seems to be wearing a Despise t-shirt. That’s a little harder than Sonic Youth. Now I’m almost interested to find out what happened in North Carolina. Almost.

- Dick Tracy -
Ringo, transplanted via the FBI Witless Protection Program from the inner cogs of big business wheeling and dealing into the seamy societal dregs of circus geeks, suddenly cares if the circus is ruined. Riiiiiiiight. He’s come to love the constant moving, sub-minumum wage pay, transient performers, and backbreaking labor of setup and teardown. Riiiiiiiiiight.
How long can this back and forth go on before the shooting happens? And what will Mr. Pops real name be? I say nobody gets shot until next Thursday and the clown’s name is Gunfer Ire. Any takers? No? I thought not…even I don’t care anymore.

- Rex Morgan, A@#SS -
I think the reason your mom’s out there, Tim, is because you are cheap and put her in a substandard nursing home because, deep down, you don’t really care about her. Also, you’re an annoying asshole.

- A3G -
The nerve of those…those…brides…thinking their wedding is all about them! The nerve!

#35 8th Man Fan – I did the same thing, so don’t feel bad. I can’t get on the link from here, though, so I’ll just have to follow along on mine. Boy, I sure hope I win that fat sack of nothin’.
AeroSquid
September 22nd, 2009 at 9:30 am [Reply]

BB: the ‘old ways’, huh ? I’m really afraid to see who will be serving the General’s afternoon tea.
mvg
September 22nd, 2009 at 9:31 am [Reply]

MW: OK, just spotted this headline on MSN.com, so I know where Capt. Mustache is while his men charge in against a hail of gunfire: “Video: Cops play Wii during drug raid”
Professor Fate
September 22nd, 2009 at 9:32 am [Reply]

MW: About a week of this please then back to the pool parties and the beige food.

FW: See Mary Worth for a hint.
MDK
September 22nd, 2009 at 9:33 am [Reply]

MW: Poor Detective Hewlitt and his fellow officers, they don’t stand a chance against Baldy and his what looks to be a laser weapon of some sort.
AeroSquid
September 22nd, 2009 at 9:36 am [Reply]

H&L: Hey, Thirsty ! Your ignition Breath-O-Lizer is made in the USA !
Dingo
September 22nd, 2009 at 9:36 am [Reply]

Someone with excellent Photoshop skills should replace the bad guys in panel #2 of Mary Worth with young women in bikinis. Yes, yes.
Marlowe
September 22nd, 2009 at 9:38 am [Reply]

WHAT ON EARTH is Spider Jerusalem doing outside of The City and consorting with the kind of “villains” you would find in Mary Worth? Isn’t there a politician or a crooked news network he needs to bestow with explosive diarrhea or something?
AeroSquid
September 22nd, 2009 at 9:42 am [Reply]

MT:

“I’ve got to get back to that man before the gators find him.”

“What did you say ?”

“Oh, crap ! Did I say that out loud ?”

“Yes.”
Dingo
September 22nd, 2009 at 9:43 am [Reply]

Yay! Mark Trail is about to get a new fu… er… buddy. Um, a new… fuddy. Yes, a new fuddy. Two men, out in the woods, alone. The scent of magnolia and lust. Oh, where’s Rusty?
RenMan2000
September 22nd, 2009 at 9:44 am [Reply]

Lookout Scott! The bald guy has a Super Bleaching/Death Ray gun! It kills cops AND makes your pant legs brighter!
AeroSquid
September 22nd, 2009 at 9:45 am [Reply]

66. Dingo: Dammit ! I’m still at work ! bats :[ ? How about cream-pied cheerleaders ?
AeroSquid
September 22nd, 2009 at 9:46 am [Reply]

Dingo: I meant #67.
RenMan2000
September 22nd, 2009 at 9:51 am [Reply]

Let’s change that last post now that I recognize the villian…*ahem*…
Lookout Scott! Its Mr. Clean and his Super Bleaching Death Ray gun!
It kills cops AND makes your pant leg brighter!
anonymous
September 22nd, 2009 at 9:59 am [Reply]

Hey, MY Uzi heats up something terrible after I fire off a few rounds!

Zippy: I don’t want to watch the news any more, either. So I guess that makes me a pinhead. I don’t even have a cell phone so I can’t Twitter. I have no life.
Alley
September 22nd, 2009 at 10:01 am [Reply]

Luann: So, Luann’s said herself that she’s not sure if she trusts Elwood, and her father just stated that he doesn’t trust Elwood. Why then, praytell, is this young girl getting into a limousine with said goblin without anyone knowing of their destination? Yes, it’s Elwood, the biggest “he likes me so I guess maybe I should like him back” love interest in the world and he probably wouldn’t harm her, but still. Awesome message there!

RM: Is this entire week going to be this one guy chewing out the director over and over again? He’s ticked off – we get it.
Greg
September 22nd, 2009 at 10:02 am [Reply]

Zippy is a big influence on my cartooning style.

Should I sue?
Muffaroo
September 22nd, 2009 at 10:04 am [Reply]

Family – Another disappointment. I first thought Dolly was saying, “This is the last day you’ll be alive.”

Will September 23, 2009 will really be the day Dolly stopped being five? Will she turn six, or just take a great leap sideways? What would happen if they destroyed the portrait of an aging, itter Dolly that they hide behind a curtain in the attic next to Grandpa’s old cage?

Hi & – Thirsty’s heart has swelled with patriotism. Along with the rest of him, making him twelve feet tall.

Judge – They found Henry!

Mary – “Crud! Why don’t warehouses full of heavily armed drug gangs ever get down on the ground with their hands on their heads when we ask them to?”

Phantom – “Ha ha! Our job’s a sham! But at least we’re still able to laugh about the fact that we haven’t won any sort of victory for human rights yet!”

Pluggers – No, no! Pluggers still have a stock of Band-Aids that use the little red string to open them! Fire Carla Zdanowicz! Reed Hoover never makes rookie mistakes like this.

Shoe – Skyler gives the ‘horrified reaction’ face while asking his question, and Cosmo delivers the answer with flat-affect smugness. Both seem to have been farmed out to a hitherto unsuspected nephew of Jeff Macnelly finally old enough to inherit the family funny patch and labor away until the day comes when he can hire or sire a new cartoonist to deliver those two or three daily panels of bird laffs.

Spidey – Second panel: “You mean– you don’t care?” “Nah. Go ahead and knock yourself out.”
Muffaroo
September 22nd, 2009 at 10:05 am [Reply]

True Fable @y125 – Double Nought Spy, wasn’t it?

KarMann @13 – I don’t know about you fancy guys from the larger villages, but for years I used to use a hatchet pretty much like that. We had a longer-handled axe for splitting the logs, and a shorter hatchet for busting it up into kindling.

runescape @22 – Go Runescape yourself.

mordock999 @37 – That’s the Little Green Sprout. Voiced by Don Messick? Not sure. Andrew Leal would know.

AeroSquid @70 – Once Uncle Lumpy cans the spammer, it will really be #66. And all my references after 22 will go down one number. Best get on with it now, I guess.
Sequitur
September 22nd, 2009 at 10:05 am [Reply]

My Cage – Norm, It’s not a good idea to antagonise the driver. Just sayin’.
Brian
September 22nd, 2009 at 10:11 am [Reply]

Normally I’d make fun of how ridiculous it is to have gun toting thugs in Mary Worth, but c’mon, when is it ever going to be THIS interesting again?
Sequitur
September 22nd, 2009 at 10:15 am [Reply]

Have we ever had violence in Mary Worth before? I mean other than the great Salmon Square Rebellion.
Doug Puthoff
September 22nd, 2009 at 10:17 am [Reply]

Alt-FC panel for 9-22: “Another day, another day closer to having breast–what the fark I’m saying, I’ve been the same age for fiftyfarkingyears.
Patrick, Interlibrary Loan Lending Division
September 22nd, 2009 at 10:17 am [Reply]

MW: If there is anything to be learned from today’s thrilling installment is that cops should never bring quaint 20th Century pistols to a Death Ray ™ fight.
Uncle Lumpy
September 22nd, 2009 at 10:19 am [Reply]

Runespam removed at #22; comment references 22 – 80 will be off by one.

Good morning!
buckyswife
September 22nd, 2009 at 10:21 am [Reply]

JP: Obviously, Gloria was hired for more than her kick-ass Ultimate Fighting skilz; she can strike a variety of poses, dressed in…. what the hell is that, anyway? She and Detective Heidi must shop at the same store: Tight Shiny Black Clothes and Beyond.

MT: Bob’s the guy I’d want on my side in a crisis; what a quick thinker! Leave your victim unconscious in an alligator-infested swamp, and then hope an opportunity opens up in time to go back and save him before he’s consumed by voracious gators—quite the plan, Bob, but let’s admit it: You’re no Andy.

A3G: Uh, Ruby? Not that I condone rudeness, but maybe if you didn’t dress like a scullery maid, you’d get a little more respect.
Niall
September 22nd, 2009 at 10:23 am [Reply]

56. Écureuil Écumant: Actually, it’s a good discussion topic: did today’s My Cage actually use Twitter properly and in-context, as a tool towards a punchline as opposed to a punchline in and of itself? Unlike, say, Zippy above.
Niall
September 22nd, 2009 at 10:25 am [Reply]

81. Uncle Lumpy: I think I once saw Josh just replace the post with “Spammer” as person and “(Spam deleted)” as content, to not screw with the references. Does your access allow that?
Niall
September 22nd, 2009 at 10:26 am [Reply]

82. buckyswife (I really must preview): I don’t think there’s anything beyond those Tight Shiny Black Clothes… Doesn’t look like there’s any space for it anyway. ahem.
commodorejohn
September 22nd, 2009 at 10:26 am [Reply]

A&J – Would that be the radio version of “In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida,” or the album version?

Archie – The ALGJU3K explores the inherent riotry of IF … THEN … ELSE constructs.

BB – Say, chaplain, you may want to try a laptop, too. You know, instead of hovering your fingers over a lunchbox.

DT – *brain melt*

FC – “This is the last day I’ll be five. Tomorrow we’re switching to base 4 and I’l be 11. What, you didn’t really think we were going to age, did you?”

FW – Look, Tom, I’m trying to give you the benefit of the doubt re: not being Luann and setting up some sort of cheerleader humiliation fetish. I mean, lord knows you’ve got problems of your own, what with the daughter-lust and ghost threesomes. But you’re really not making it easy for me.

HTH – *flashes the Angry Kem Signal in the night sky*

JP – Um, Judge Parker? We know all this. I mean, we were right here when it was all set up. Granted, that was months ago, but still.

Lio – It’s actually pretty interesting. No, really! …why are you looking at me like that?

Luann – Look, Greg, I’m trying to give y…no I’m not. No, he’s totally kidnapping her off to his Venezuelan vacation home or some damn thing. Like hell that’s actually sparkling cider.

MT – “I signed up for poaching, not law-breaking!”

MW – I’m not sure what Ray the junkie from Apartment 3-G is doing here, or why he’s shooting at the floor, but man is it good to see him.

SM – Spidey, it’s your own business if you “hit the jackpot,” but we don’t really want to know about it, okay? And make sure to wash your costume afterwards.

Edison Lee – has instilled in me a Pavlovian response of looking up anything even remotely sciencey it mentions on Wikipedia to point out how wrong it is. However, today’s strip is surprisingly more or less accurate, at least in the nature of its analogy. Imagine that.
fillmoreeast
September 22nd, 2009 at 10:27 am [Reply]

Ah, Crankshaft’s going to the hospital. Heart attack or massive shin laceration?
Vince M
September 22nd, 2009 at 10:30 am [Reply]

MW – Hey, it’s Doctor Venture! “No one’s taking MY Happy Pills! Eat plasma ray!”
buckyswife
September 22nd, 2009 at 10:32 am [Reply]

56 EE and 83 Niall: The joke wasn’t about the technology, right? The joke’s about the embarrassing taste in music. So I don’t think it’s the same as, say, today’s Beetle Bailey or the recent Dagwood/Elmo tech theme.
Shlomo
September 22nd, 2009 at 10:33 am [Reply]

27. Moly, I also was thinking that looked like Joe Mantegna. Question is, who would you rather be shot by, Joe Mantegna or Mr. Clean? I opt for Mr. Clean.

Is it troubling to anyone that there is more action in one day’s Mary Worth strip than there is in a month of Spiderman and the Phantom combined?
Digger
September 22nd, 2009 at 10:38 am [Reply]

MW: The only thing that’s missing from this exciting scene is the presence of Mary herself. She needs to wander in there and start the meddling: “Now you young men need to think about the path your lives are on, because gunplay can only lead to heartbreak and DEAR LORD, THE BALD GUY’S GOT A LASER GUN!”
Lou Shumaker
September 22nd, 2009 at 10:38 am [Reply]

“Jamus the Bartender says: Coolest. Mary Worth Panel. Ever.”

And who would have ever expected anyone to say that, in anyone’s lifetime?
Dingo
September 22nd, 2009 at 10:40 am [Reply]

buckyswife #82,

Andy

He pees on trees and scrapes your knees
Your stockings he will tear
He’ll bark if you pass secret gas
And trip you on the stair
And underneath his fur
Is a naked derriere!
I even heard him barking in the abbey

He’s always eating dinner
And his hunger it is real
He’ll eat the food you put for him
And then he’ll eat your meal
I hate to have to say it
But I very firmly feel
Andy’s not an asset to the abbey

I’d like to say a word in his behalf
That dog has one hell of a massive staff

How do you solve a problem like our Andy?
How do you catch a dog and pin it down?
How do you find a word that means our Andy?
A massive mastiff? A dachsund delish? A hound?

Many a thing you know you’d like to tell him
Many a thing he ought to understand
But how do you make him stay
Roll over and, well, behave
How do you keep a gator off your man

Oh, how do you solve a problem like our Andy?
How do you scold a dog instead of man?

When I’m with him I’m confused
Out of focus and bemused
And I never know exactly where I am
As predictable as punch
He’ll eat villains for his lunch
He’s a darling! He’s a demon! Where’s my Spam?

He’ll outmaneuver any villain
In the forest where he’s chillin’
He could throw a whirling dervish out of whirl
He is gentle! He is wild!
He just piddled! Hide the child!
He’s a sack of gold potatoes!
He’s a grrrrrrrr…!

How do you solve a problem like our Andy?
How do you catch a dog and pin it down?
How do you find a word that means our Andy?
A massive mastiff? A dachsund delish? A hound?

Many a thing you know you’d like to tell him
Many a thing he ought to understand
But how do you make him stay
Roll over and, well, behave
How do you keep a gator off your man

Oh, how do you solve a problem like our Andy?
How do you scold a dog instead of man?
Dingo
September 22nd, 2009 at 10:41 am [Reply]

I really think today’s Mary Worth would be much, much cooler in German.
CanuckDownSouth
September 22nd, 2009 at 10:50 am [Reply]

Ah, yes. Luann. Continuing its irresponsible under-parenting of dependent teenagers in order to have the time for Mary-Worth-would-blush* over-parenting of grown children.

* not that MW wouldn’t meddle, but she’d be embarrassed by the ridiculous direct physical obstacles – it’s about being subtle enough that the object of the meddling is grateful for the “advice”

Good grief. At the end of my _last_ year of high school, with university acceptances and scholarship offers and no past “problems” whatsoever, I *still* had to know & reveal where I was going and when I was getting back. And my parents weren’t considered strict for that.
Perky Bird
September 22nd, 2009 at 10:51 am [Reply]

I don’t miss the red strings on Band-aids, but I really miss the red strings on packages of LifeSavers! It seems they’re now using some sort of extra-strength glue to seal those rolls, and I can never get them open without breaking a fingernail and getting little pieces of paper everywhere.

Does this make me a Plugger, or just really lacking in manual dexterity?
buckyswife
September 22nd, 2009 at 10:57 am [Reply]

MW: I think that Moy and Giella have been watching too much “Raccoon Patrol.”

93 Dingo: Excellent! I’ll be humming that all day. And you know, if Sound of Music were about Andy, I’d actually like it. (Think of the possibilities: Andy barking out “My Favorite Things”; Andy leading the children out during that awful, chirping good-night song; Andy biting the jugular of any mean Nazis and badly behaved children; Andy and the father developing a tentative, tender romance—the movie would be so much better!)
mvg
September 22nd, 2009 at 11:01 am [Reply]

commodorejohn (86): “BB – Say, chaplain, you may want to try a laptop, too. You know, instead of hovering your fingers over a lunchbox.”

That’s not the chaplain; that’s Major Greenbrass. And yes, I’m ashamed that I actually know that.

Dingo (94): Courtesy of BabelFish, here ya go:

“Dieses ist die Polizei! Sie sind unter Anhalten! Erhalten Sie unten aus den Grund mit Ihren Händen auf Ihren Köpfen!”

(Although it must be noted that reversing the translation thru BabelFish produces “This is the police! They are under stopping! Receive down from the reason with your hands on your heads!”)
Calico
September 22nd, 2009 at 11:07 am [Reply]

Dingo – a bit off topic – Alison Bechdel’s most recent blog post dishes up a few links to a Howard Cruse anthology called “From Headrack to Claude” – thought you might be interested.
I won’t link to her page here as the image may be mildly NSFW – but check it out when you can!

(I may even order it myself, given Alison’s expression of ! in the photo) : )
Sequitur
September 22nd, 2009 at 11:07 am [Reply]

94. Dingo
I think it looks more dangerous in Hebrew.
One-eyed Wolfdog
September 22nd, 2009 at 11:08 am [Reply]

#94 – You’re right. This is awesome.
Calico
September 22nd, 2009 at 11:08 am [Reply]

And why, why aren’t Scott and his police team wearing helmets and face shields, if this mission was so dangerous?

Oh, right, I’m reading Mary Worth.
Marthas Rolling Pin
September 22nd, 2009 at 11:17 am [Reply]

Giant squirrel takeover has spread to Zippy
Muffaroo
September 22nd, 2009 at 11:21 am [Reply]

Perky Bird @96 – I thought of those red strings in Life Savers too. Maria cookies still have a string, or a red plastic tape, which I find when I get almost to the end of the pack, because they put them in the wrong end. With Life Savers these days, I bite down between the end candy and the next one, then carefully remove wax from my incisors and enjoy the rest of the roll.
Niall
September 22nd, 2009 at 11:30 am [Reply]

89. buckyswife: That’s pretty much my view, yes. MC shows how it works – because MC’s writer knows what Twitter is and how it’s used.
Alan's Addiction
September 22nd, 2009 at 11:37 am [Reply]

Ladies and gentlemen, take special note of the date and time that you noticed an action sequence in “Mary Worth.” It’s the first I’ve ever seen (and I’ve been reading it on and off for the past 15 years), and it’ll probably be the last, as it makes no sense. As a side note, has something horrible already happened to Detective Scott? He appears to be a disembodied, floating head with a gun duct-taped to his jaw in the first panel.
Today’s “Crankshaft” actually made me smile a little. Finally, that evil, vicious old man is getting a little taste of the horrific mortality and senility that every other character in the “Funky Winkerbean” universe suffers.
Attention, Bill Griffith, creator of “Zippy.” Although Roy Lichtenstein created some fun, unique pop art, comics in the funny pages that are 2″x4″ aren’t really considered “high art.” Ergo, please stop with the jokeless, surreal “observations” and the weird character shading that gives me nightmares.
The map in today’s “Ziggy” serves as both Ziggy’s biography as well as a description of any poor readers who stopped to read the comic.
Jeff
September 22nd, 2009 at 11:40 am [Reply]

Cops in bulletproof vests with Glocks and drug runners with Mac 10s (and possibly energy weapons from Star Wars)… and this is Mary Worth??

Did we stray into an alternate future kind of thing last week when I missed a couple strips?
odinthor
September 22nd, 2009 at 11:42 am [Reply]

Cathy. — The words “Cathy” and “endearing” are not often seen in the same sentence; but there are times such as today that I find Cathy endearing because it shows an insightful self-deprecatory self-awareness. Ack!

Curtis. — Or, possibly, cramping gas.

Gil Thorp. — No confetti? Gasp! Has Gil Thorp gone green?

H&L. — Money troubles? You talkin’ money troubles? Your town has such money troubles the buildings are built to 1/10 scale.

MW. — Thoughtfully, because good neighbors are something to cherish, the gun battle was conducted in complete silence.
Chip Whittle
September 22nd, 2009 at 11:45 am [Reply]

The Argyle Sweater has an acceptable gimmick, but I don’t buy the setup. The hypnotist would want the turkey to build up meat, and so, to eat and exercise as much as possible. Stuffing put in now is just wasted. And plucking the turkey two months early is pointless.

Shoe crashes and burns for me today on the issue of what the bird kid was doing that provoked the setup of this strip so it doesn’t even have time to crash and burn over the punch line.

I admire Dick Tracy’s decision to stick with the only other character in the story as the villain. But since there’s nobody performing in the circus who’s actually a circus performer does it matter what happens to it after they’re all dead?

Hi and Lois live in a village plagued with three-story-tall, mile-long commuter trains, indicating they’re actually simulated personalities living in a electro-mechanical model of a town constructed for evil marketing purposes. It also suggests they wake every night, always finding it June 15th, screaming in terror as their minds are wiped clean of new thoughts ahead of the next day of experimentation. I’m fine with this.

Pardon My Planet: Oh, sure, like Pluggers would want someone with a good sense of humor.

Non Sequitur: Wiley is unaware of the difference between philosophy and empty-headed navel-gazing, suggesting he’s never looked outside arthritic gags for his opinions on the subject.

Love Is … knowing where to hide the bodies.

Someone at Reynolds Unwrapped has been reading Dick Tracy.

Cow and Boy creates a product I’d buy. In your heart you know you would too.

One Big Happy Classics: I would so love Ruthie to meet Mark Trail. Just imagine the scent of his brain overloading.

I’m liking Rip Haywire’s time in The Village.
Dude abides
September 22nd, 2009 at 11:46 am [Reply]

On Mary Worth:
What’s former Treasury Secretary Hank Paulson doing in MW? And he looks way angrier than when TARP 1 was voted down by Congress.
http://www.businesspundit.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/paulson.jpg
Carbunicle
September 22nd, 2009 at 11:57 am [Reply]

Speaking of Raccoon Patrol
MolyBendum
September 22nd, 2009 at 11:58 am [Reply]

#108 odinthor – Ick! I mean, Ack!
makeLikeAtree
September 22nd, 2009 at 11:58 am [Reply]

I may not like Mary Worth, with all the creepy looking people with chin beards and such, but I am impressed with the attention to detail given to the criminals’ guns. They may not know how to draw food, or Aldo, but that sure as hell looks like an Uzi to me!
buckyswife
September 22nd, 2009 at 12:03 pm [Reply]

111 Carbunicle: So raccoon round worm (great name for a rock band?) is their secret weapon.

I hope that B. Racoon isn’t leaving any droppings around here… Watch where you step!
Mela
September 22nd, 2009 at 12:23 pm [Reply]

‘Shaft: I can’t help but picture this strip occurring after a friendly neighbor pointed out, like the more outdoorsy folks here did, that Ed had the wrong type of axe, and this is his pathetic attempt to be stubborn & prove said neighbor wrong. But that would mean losing that “artistic” flashback device that’s taken over this strip like visual kudzu.

FW: So is “horribly overwraught, insultingly stupid serious storyline followed immediately by boring fluff to remind you that the younger characters still exist” Batiuk’s new format?

GA: After nearly four weeks of Gertie running around the theater like a headless chicken and having this same argument several times, are we finally gonna have something happen? Should we prepare for some doughy middle-aged lady versus majorette-ish usher girl catfighting? Or will we get several more weeks of this argument?

My Cage: I feel the same way that Rex does whenever someone discovers I have Nickelback on my iPod. In short, I can relate… again.

Pluggers: I don’t get this. Does this make me exempt from ever achieving Plugger status? Please say yes.
The Enemy
September 22nd, 2009 at 12:26 pm [Reply]

Cancerbean: The only laughs I have gotten from this strip in years have been from the juxtaposition of “cheerleader” and “creampie”.
I think this says something very sad about both the strip and myself.
Calico
September 22nd, 2009 at 12:27 pm [Reply]

#111 – Jesus -did Sneaky miss his Starbucks Latte this AM, or what?

Beeeeattch!
Perky Bird
September 22nd, 2009 at 12:32 pm [Reply]

# 109 Chip Whittle–

Love is…er…uhm…what, getting it on in a cemetery? Ewww…
Poteet
September 22nd, 2009 at 12:47 pm [Reply]

MW — Unfamiliar as I am with law enforcement, it seems to me there have to be other ways of busting up drug cartels, ways that aren’t so hard on ammunition budgets, local hospitals, and workers’ comp.

GA — So now Gertie is going to start a public brawl for the noble cause of keeping the rightful owners of two theater seats from taking the places they paid for. As for Walt, the thought occurs that if he’s still healthy enough to be dragged out to Byrd’s performance whether he likes it or not, he might be well enough to be left alone for a couple of hours. I curse the day I got hooked on this tripe.
Poteet
September 22nd, 2009 at 12:57 pm [Reply]

MW — And come to think of it, have we suddenly been transported to Mexico? I understand that drug cartels there may have intimidated underfunded local governments to the point that they can hold official drug cartel potlucks and sponsor children’s baseball teams, but in this country, most drug operations try to be more, well, discreet. And meeting twenty at a time in warehouses to chat and wave large guns around is…oh, never mind. Die, Scott, die!!
Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
September 22nd, 2009 at 1:01 pm [Reply]

Luann — One could hope, of course, that Elvis-whatshisface isn’t a videogame creator, but instead a Mark Rifkin-type hacker who is funding his extravaganza via stolen credit cards.
Poteet
September 22nd, 2009 at 1:01 pm [Reply]

# 52 8th Man Fan — Thank you! Great spreadsheet.
Poteet
September 22nd, 2009 at 1:02 pm [Reply]

# 121 Al — Oooh, I like that! Hope indeed.
B. Racoon
September 22nd, 2009 at 1:04 pm [Reply]

#111 – Carbunicle – This is Communist propaganda. Do not belive everything you read or see on the internet. This is how World War I got started.

#114 buckyswife – I am quite clean, thank you. I have this wonderful room. Note my sculpture on the wall.
Poteet
September 22nd, 2009 at 1:04 pm [Reply]

# 121 Al — And as a possible crossover, one of the stolen credit card numbers belongs to Toeby.
Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
September 22nd, 2009 at 1:07 pm [Reply]

123, 125 AND… maybe as punishment when caught, he’ll be forced to do community service at the library as Gunther’s assistant…
Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
September 22nd, 2009 at 1:12 pm [Reply]

111 — Racoon Roundworm looks truly disgusting. Ick…

124 — Racoons are truly the most annoying creatures I’ve ever run into as a homeowner. I had one take residence in my attic, accessing the attic by chewing through 7 layers of shingles and 3/4 of an inch of plywood. Now, THAT’s determination.
Calvin's Cardboard Box
September 22nd, 2009 at 1:14 pm [Reply]

#109 – Wow, Frederick Pohl reference! That takes me back. I still have that story in a “Best Of” collection on a bookshelf. Haven’t read it in over 20 years, but just reading the first sentence of your description brought it all back. Our hero was under a boat he was fixing up when a midnight brain-flushing took place, allowing him to notice in the morning that the day before was exactly like today.
queek
September 22nd, 2009 at 1:14 pm [Reply]

113: I’d guess MAC10 instead of an Uzi, but I’ve seen far worse guns drawn in the comics.
buckyswife
September 22nd, 2009 at 1:17 pm [Reply]

124 B. Racoon: You were behind WWI? Hunh. I did not know that. Any other major historical events that we can attribute to raccoons? You guys weren’t responsible for Watergate, were you?
B. Racoon
September 22nd, 2009 at 1:22 pm [Reply]

#127 Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol – Ah, a rogue raccoon. We are working to eliminate such problems. Please be patient.

#130 buckyswife – It was not the raccoons. It was the internet.

Meanwhile, please be amused by this.
Poteet
September 22nd, 2009 at 1:25 pm [Reply]

# 124 B. Racoon — I wish some of your compatriots wouldn’t leave their poop in places deliberately chosen to taunt humans. On the other hand, I have never seen a raccoon baby who didn’t look incredibly cute. This is not true for every young human I’ve ever seen.
B. Racoon
September 22nd, 2009 at 1:29 pm [Reply]

#132 Poteet – Cute is as cute does. I’ll bet you’re kind of cute too.
Anal, Annoying Minor Goddess of Pedantry
September 22nd, 2009 at 1:31 pm [Reply]

Uncle Lumpy, Adrian’s self-loathing phrase needs a verb. Thank you.

*retires, waving annoyingly*
buckyswife
September 22nd, 2009 at 1:35 pm [Reply]

131 B. Racoon: Oops—you need to get your claws working on that link!
Calico
September 22nd, 2009 at 1:35 pm [Reply]

#125 – Or Margo! Heaven help us.

This season a racoon has been going thru not our oversized bins, but our neighbor’s containers…a family member told us to keep the garbage can away/apart from the recycle can, as the critters use one to sit on and have some leverage while opening the other.

So clever, really!

If they are kept apart 1-2 feet or so, all should be well and Sneaky-free.
bats :[
September 22nd, 2009 at 1:35 pm [Reply]

The English-to-Klingon online translators are down. Guess we’ll have to make due with German/Hebrew/Swahili…

109. Chip Whittle: Love is… well, you know…
LP2004
September 22nd, 2009 at 1:38 pm [Reply]

#132 Poteet – One baby raccoon on our back deck looked incredibly cute; two of them looked pretty cute, too; eight of them, on the other hand, just bore an unsettling resemblance to a scene from ‘Willard’.
Poteet
September 22nd, 2009 at 1:39 pm [Reply]

# 115 Mela — Four weeks? We’ve been waiting for this bleeping GA concert to start for four weeks? Arrrrrrrgh!
Poteet
September 22nd, 2009 at 1:43 pm [Reply]

# 133 B. Racoon — Well, thank you! *faint blush*

# 138 LP2004 — BWAHAHA!
B. Racoon
September 22nd, 2009 at 1:50 pm [Reply]

#135 buckyswife – So sorry. This is one way the internet starts wars. This this.
buckyswife
September 22nd, 2009 at 1:57 pm [Reply]

141 B Racoon: Oh, very cute raccoon! And look, he has a fire extinguisher—safety first!

You know, if the raccoons and stinkbugs joined forces, we’d all be in big trouble. It’s not too early to start kissing up to our new furry/carapace’d overlords! Obviously, Elrod knew what he was doing when he created the charming and clever Sneaky.
Niall
September 22nd, 2009 at 2:07 pm [Reply]

I can’t access the 141 link from work. Now I want to, after buckyswife’s description.

I don’t mind too much, as I’m wiling away the afternoon most nicely. (It’s the Grappa one.)
Poteet
September 22nd, 2009 at 2:11 pm [Reply]

A gentleman of my acquaintance lived in a Berkeley CA apartment, back in the late 1960s. The apartment had a cat door, and raccoons used to use it occasionally to duck in and eat some cat food. No problem, peace love flowers, etc.

And then came the morning when my friend and his roommate came into the kitchen and found a large mama raccoon pulling at the fridge door with both paws. He swears that on top of the mama were two baby raccoons, both also tugging at the fridge door with both paws. I believe Something Was Done about the cat door after that.
walty
September 22nd, 2009 at 2:11 pm [Reply]

Wow, the cops in Santa Royale sure do take their laser tag seriously.
Mela
September 22nd, 2009 at 2:14 pm [Reply]

#139 – Poteet: # 115 Mela — Four weeks? We’ve been waiting for this bleeping GA concert to start for four weeks? Arrrrrrrgh!

Either four weeks, two weeks, or three & a half years. After a while, with GA, they all feel the same. I think it’s because once a week, they pretty much redo the same strip twice but with slightly different dialogue.
Steve the Pocket
September 22nd, 2009 at 2:17 pm [Reply]

@#109: Wait, why is Comics.com running One Big Happy “classics” when the strip is still in production and not even on vacation at the moment? Is there a sizable constituency that prefer the “good ol’ days” of the strip that the syndicate offers both, depending on which the paper’s readers prefer? So… confused…
Écureuil Écumant
September 22nd, 2009 at 2:18 pm [Reply]

9CL: Mary’s next blurted question is going to be “Are you smuggling bread products in there?”
buckyswife
September 22nd, 2009 at 2:21 pm [Reply]

143 Niall: I suppose that’s one way to drink on the job! =-)

144 Poteet: When I was a student at Berkeley, I was walking home from my boyfriend’s house one evening, and I happened upon a raccoon going through a trash can. It stood up on its hind legs, bared its teeth, and hissed at me; I swear that beast was taller than I was. Ever since, I’ve looked at raccoons with respect for both their cuteness and their ferocity.
Farley's Revenge
September 22nd, 2009 at 2:21 pm [Reply]

We have at least one raccoon that visits our back porch on a regular basis. As long as it remains on the back porch, it will be the least of our concerns.

Let it enter the house and our great room will resemble the warehouse scene in Mary Worth, except no one is currently bald.
Uncle Lumpy
September 22nd, 2009 at 2:27 pm [Reply]

#147 StP –

It’s a license-fee issue. Rick Detorie explains it here.
Niall
September 22nd, 2009 at 2:33 pm [Reply]

145. walty: Bwahaha! Totally deserving of being on the float – concise and to the point.

149. buckyswife: Eh, it’s my mood lately. COnsidering we sometimes open a bottle or two, it’s no worse than the rest. At home I have junmai daiginjo saké (currently waiting for me to find a proper and deserving cold saké set to serve it with honours to the drink and its tradition), and a bottle of 9% creamy stout – literally stout with lactose enzymes to thicken it and give it a creamy aftertaste. Something which will also wait until I have someone to share it with who would appreciate it.

And now I have the darn raccoon song in my head…
Chip Whittle
September 22nd, 2009 at 2:34 pm [Reply]

Re #128 Calvin’s Cardboard Box —

Happy to bring up the memories. Pohl is, happily, still with us and blogging about his life, work, and whatever else comes up. (And the story, The Tunnel Under The World, alluded to, for the curious, may require effort to find in paper but was adapted to the excellent old-time radio show X Minus One so can be heard for just the effort of a half-hour’s time.)

Re #147 Steve the Pocket —

As I understand it, One Big Happy creator Rick Detorie believes the pay rates for gocomics.com and comics.com are too low considering the work they do undercutting sales to newspapers (back when there were newspapers), so he wants only rerun material on those sites rather than serve as unfair competition to the better-paying customers like the Houston Chronicle.

The good result for us is that between the Chronicle, gocomics.com, and comics.com sites, fans get Three Big Happies daily.
Ed Power, Cage writer
September 22nd, 2009 at 2:55 pm [Reply]

Re: Twitter…Well, Norm and the gang are modren 20-somethings, so my editor questioned the original ending where Norm was on a rotary phone going “Too Late. Operator give me Bensonhurst 5555″. :)

I have a fun question for everyone though:

If you had to put together a cast of comic strip characters for a ‘Real World’ or ‘Drawn Together’ style comic strip, who would you use? :)
Niall
September 22nd, 2009 at 3:01 pm [Reply]

154. Ed Power: Yeah, you understand the tech so the gang mentions it like everyday users, not like people who have heard of but never used it, or don’t understand how The Young People Today use it. I might see Max say a phrase like yours, though, just to annoy the operator. :)

As I have never seen an episode of either series, I can’t really say anything.
bats :[
September 22nd, 2009 at 3:14 pm [Reply]

Wow, with all innocence I can pin this on Dingo!

And having to size it up yourself, I can blame on Flickr…
corinthian
September 22nd, 2009 at 3:14 pm [Reply]

Finally, Glenn Beck corners James Carville in an anonymous warehouse, and the gun fight of the pundits news junkies have been waiting for begins
Niall
September 22nd, 2009 at 3:24 pm [Reply]

156. bats :[ : if you pin Dingo, you can’t claim innocence.
mvg
September 22nd, 2009 at 3:26 pm [Reply]

MW: If not for the existence of EnormousShop.com, I’d have to assume that Santa Royale existed in some sort of temporal vacuum, or at least was set in the 1970s. The cops are all dressed as if they’re in “SWAT: (1975-76), led by ol’ “Hondo” Harrelson. And when is the last time any modern company used a wooden shipping crate? Tomorrow I expect Det. Deadmeat Hewlett will meet his demise when a big stack of oaken barrels filled with penny nails falls on him. Or he’ll be run over by one of the hoodlums’ getaway velocipedes. (I expect I should be grateful the badguys aren’t all wearing striped shirts & newsboy caps.)
Amateur
September 22nd, 2009 at 3:30 pm [Reply]

#52 — My side bet was with Poteet on “number of appearances of the narration box starting 9/21 and ending 10/5.” I said eight. Again, thank you!
Dingo
September 22nd, 2009 at 3:31 pm [Reply]

bats :[, I feel all warm and tickly inside! Thank you!
queek
September 22nd, 2009 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

The closest that I get to reality TV is Top Chef, but Ashley is made for dRAHma! and would definitely be a candidate. (I did watch a fair bit of Drawn Together first season, then they started fiddling with the schedule and I wasn’t able to catch a lot of the later episodes.)

Margo would be like the giant waterbug in the aquarium. If she’s there, everyone else is dead. (as we all know, Margo vs. Mary Worth is PPV Main Event sort of stuff, too powerful for a series to contain.)

Ashley and June Morgan would be Must See TV if they were on together.

Ted Forth would be *hilarious* in the mix.

Isobel from 9CL is Margo-lite, might be a possibility, and Seth would be about your only choice if you wanted to include the seemingly obligatory gay character.

You’d need at least one legacy character, but most of them would be dull as dirt in the format, Sgt. Snorkle might be an idea (I’m thinking of that old ex-SEAL from first season Survivor, or the cook from Total Drama Island.) Dagwood is probably the only other male legacy with half a brain, but has no guile.
bats :[
September 22nd, 2009 at 3:36 pm [Reply]

155. Niall: oh, whew! I thought I was just being an old fogey (not TDOF, mind you) for not knowing of either series/strip/breakfast cereal/hand-held electronic device that Ed is talking about.
B. Racoon
September 22nd, 2009 at 3:39 pm [Reply]

#152 Niall – Yes!
buckyswife
September 22nd, 2009 at 3:45 pm [Reply]

154 Ed Power: I don’t watch either of those shows, but most reality casts have similar types, right? So you need one “bitch” (Margo—check!), one older person who thinks he or she knows more than the youngsters (Mary—check!), one guy with outdoorsy cred (Mark Trail—check!), multiple hot chicks (The Girls of Judge Parker—check!), and one gay guy (Sarge—check!).

152 Niall: Worst. Song. Ever.
mvg
September 22nd, 2009 at 3:52 pm [Reply]

Ed (154) re: “Real World” (never watched but understand the gist of the nub)

Margo (love queek’s giant waterbug reference)
Ashley
Adrian or Delilah from MW (some brainless chum for a quick kill in episode one)
Ted Forth (another good call, queek)
Rat (PBS)
Wally (Dilbert)
Gloria from JP (Abbey & Godiva wouldn’t do it cuz they don’t need the money, although perhaps Godiva would shake it on some DWTS thing w/Mary Jane Parker & some other C-list actors)
Zipper Harris (hopefully another quick kill — I loathe him)
Seth (yet another good call, queek, dammit)
Pierce (Zits)
Sequitur
September 22nd, 2009 at 3:52 pm [Reply]

165. buckyswife
You’ve almost got the cast of Gilligan’s Island there.
commodorejohn
September 22nd, 2009 at 3:57 pm [Reply]

#163 bats :[ – Don’t worry. Some of us are just tuned out of popular culture, eh?
buckyswife
September 22nd, 2009 at 3:59 pm [Reply]

From the Santa Royale Police Department manual:

–Most workplace injuries result from tripping. Therefore, when preparing to raid a criminal enterprise, it is recommended that you convene under a bright light for good visibility.

–Guns are dangerous! Don’t point yours at someone; instead, keep it aimed at the ceiling, where it will do less harm.

–Most criminals are sensible people. Before taking any kind of drastic action, try simply announcing your presence and telling them what to do. The sensible criminal will obey your orders because he knows that not complying with law enforcement has consequences. (Note: Does not apply to psychopaths, those in the throes of a murderous rage, desperadoes, pirates, thugs, hoodlums, and pony-tailed or head-shaved cartel members.)

–No one likes helmet hair! Leave the headgear at home.
buckyswife
September 22nd, 2009 at 4:01 pm [Reply]

166 mvg: You reminded me; I forgot “the jerk” (Rat—check!).
mvg
September 22nd, 2009 at 4:20 pm [Reply]

buckyswife (169): “(Note: Does not apply to psychopaths, those in the throes of a murderous rage, desperadoes, pirates, thugs, hoodlums, and pony-tailed or head-shaved cartel members.)”

Don’t forget lascars, dacoits & ne’er-do-wells.
Perky Bird
September 22nd, 2009 at 4:22 pm [Reply]

# 154 Ed Powers–

If you have an animal cartoon character in the mix, then you would also have to have Mark Trail, who would “study” their behavior. I think it would be great to see Mark comment on the Pearls Before Swine crocs’ attempts to catch and eat Zebra.
DaveyK
September 22nd, 2009 at 4:30 pm [Reply]

Looks like someone at Mary Worth HQ handed out copies of “Foreshadowing for Dummies” in September.
commodorejohn
September 22nd, 2009 at 4:33 pm [Reply]

#172 Perky Bird – …didn’t bats :[ already do something along those lines? If she didn’t, she should.
Niall
September 22nd, 2009 at 4:45 pm [Reply]

165. buckyswife: I’m not enamoured of the song either, but I’ve heard it way too many times for it not to bubble up. So I decided to share the pain. :)

171. mvg: Yuo made me scramble for the dictionary. Lascar is a common european insult in comics, but I didn’t know it’s actually almost positive, and is just meaning Sailor from India. Dacoit was a word I strictly saw in Bob Morane novels, so I thought it was made up there; consider me edified.

172. Perky Bird: the beginning of your sentence made me think of Mark Trail attempting to study Ashley T Bengal. “Attempting” being the operative word.
Poteet
September 22nd, 2009 at 4:56 pm [Reply]

# 160 Amateur — For obvious reasons, I’m hoping Narration Box will start to pick up the pace:-). May the best bet win!
Peripheral Visionary
September 22nd, 2009 at 5:26 pm [Reply]

MW: Guest Writer: Quentin Tarantino; Guest Star: James Carville.

Fundraiser: Yes, as a matter of fact, I am a “hat man”, or rather, a “whatever-Margo-happens-to-be-wearing man”, because really, you don’t want to tell Margo anything other than that she looks fantastic.
queek
September 22nd, 2009 at 5:28 pm [Reply]

172: good call, although Mark is so gosh-darned dumb otherwise, and punching is rarely allowed as a settler-of-issues on those sort of shows.

I was trying to keep my suggestions to the human side of things other than Ashley, for some unknown reason, although one of the crocs had crossed my mind, as had Plugger BearGuy as the “hick to be laughed at behind his back.”

Here’s a thought, brought on by the truly awful commercials for “Real Housewives of X”. Imagine Margo, Isobel, Mary, and Faye from QC all in an apartment together. . . . Still need at least a few more, OH! Sally Forths mom!!!

Galactus would wet his armor confronted with that lineup.
Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
September 22nd, 2009 at 5:29 pm [Reply]

166 — My call is Wally and Pierce in the final round.
Ktrout
September 22nd, 2009 at 5:51 pm [Reply]

The swat team are nothing more than transplanted Thunderbirds characters. That they were being shot at by Kevin Smith and Hunter S. Thompson was something of a surprise to me, though.
Mr. O'Malley
September 22nd, 2009 at 5:53 pm [Reply]

175. Niall. Lascars, dacoits, thugs and phansigars were frequently the hirelings of the insidious Dr. Fu Manchu. Such swarthy characters could be easily recruited from the hashish dens and opium shops of Limehouse by applying to the proprietors, who were usually inscrutable Asiatics or fashionably dressed Egyptians or Greeks. Wizened Chinese ladies of indeterminate age were assigned to lurk in convenient alleys in case any messages or poisonous centipedes needed to be passed along.

The term “dacoit” is still used in India, I believe.
Muffaroo
September 22nd, 2009 at 5:55 pm [Reply]

Alan’s Addiction @106 – Lichtenstein created damn little. He mostly cranked out weak copies of comic panels with no credit to the real creators.

Note the life and fluidity in even the most tepid of the original panels, and compare it to the leaden, cardboard stiffs that hang in our most elite galleries. I see Heath, Sekowsky, Kubert, Overgaard, maybe Colleta, Mooney, Segar, Infantino, and dozens of others who worked for decades, who were socially ostracized in the paranoia of the comic-burnings, and whose life earnings wouldn’t get them to a poker table with ‘fine’ artists who stole everything from them, and yeah, I get a little irritated.
buckyswife
September 22nd, 2009 at 5:59 pm [Reply]

175 Niall:
Things that are good for sharing: chocolate, Scotch, hot tubs, snark about comics.

Things that are bad for sharing: painful raccoon songs.

Keep these principles in mind, and you won’t go astray again.
Muffaroo
September 22nd, 2009 at 6:04 pm [Reply]

ps: Not mad at you, I hasten to add.

Oh, and Segar wasn’t ostracized in the comic burnings, being safely dead by then.
commodorejohn
September 22nd, 2009 at 6:06 pm [Reply]

#182 Muffaroo – Preach it, brother. Even the modern comics page has a few luminaries who can blow ol’ Roy out of the water if they’re given a chance (see, for example, some of the awesomeness that Baretto got up to with the Ballad of Dixie Julep late last year and early this year.) Compared to some of his contemporaries, like original Apartment 3-G artist Alex Kotzky…he’s weak sauce.
mr 12 oz can
September 22nd, 2009 at 6:20 pm [Reply]

why are the cops hiding behind pickle barrals and not wearing helmets . the one guy in the long coat has let off five shots and there all in the same place and why is the bald guy using a flashlight instead of a gun .
queek
September 22nd, 2009 at 6:23 pm [Reply]

166: just as an explanation of the waterbug reference. Waaaaaaaaay back in HS, we had a aquatic insect collection as part of Senior Biology. Each year, the teacher would set up a large freshwater aquarium that had examples of all the various Orders of insects that were found on the field trip, and then we’d get to watch the numbers dwindle over the course of the marking period. I asked the teacher what tended to come out as the last insect swimming, and his response was “the giant waterbug, if its there, it wins. If not, then the Megaloptera do.” (Dobsonfly larvae, aka helgrammites.) We had a giant waterbug in the tank that year, and it was indeed the last insect left at the end. Watching it feed on minnows and the like was all sorts of cool. This was in Northern Lower Michigan, so we had things like mayflies, stoneflies, dragonflies and the like, along with the aforementioned insects. The predacious diving beetle didn’t last the first hour, the bug nailed it right off.

Just something that always stuck in my memory.

Further information on the members of Belostomatidae can, of course, be found on the Internet. :-D
Poteet
September 22nd, 2009 at 7:11 pm [Reply]

# 187 queek — Wow. That would stick in my memory too. Thanks for sharing.
Crackalist
September 22nd, 2009 at 7:45 pm [Reply]

183 – buckyswife – Your style reminds me of the “Good Idea, Bad Idea” segments in the old cartoon show Animaniacs and I think we could do with it a lot more. Your Santa Royale police manual also seems too true to be real, and reminded me of something that would be found in Mark Trail…although Mark Trail would talk more about facial hair warnings. “Do you know what your be-moustached son is doing when you’re gone?”

179 – Al of the Christian Single’s Jungle Patrol – Wally would win, hands down. You can’t fight the blatant apathy that he’s been crafting for a good 15 years. *shivers at the thought of someone trying to come up against him.
commodorejohn
September 22nd, 2009 at 7:52 pm [Reply]

#189 Crackalist – “the old cartoon show Animaniacs”

*remembers fond childhood memories*

*checks calendar*

God damn do I feel old.
8th Man Fan
September 22nd, 2009 at 8:21 pm [Reply]

My spreadsheet’s an addendum to the main post? Wow, I’m honored. Thanks, UL! Everyone: Thanks for the newly-posted bets. A lot of them have me laughing out loud.

#57 MolyBendum: To give you some idea of what the spreadsheet has mutated into (and to see if the military likes SkyDrive better than Google Docs), posted a PDF copy. Hope it works.

#160 Amateur: Side bet added, no problem.
buckyswife
September 22nd, 2009 at 8:25 pm [Reply]

189 Crackalist: A Mark Trail pamphlet for parents? There’s some irony there, huh? The guy can’t even sustain a fishing trip with Rusty for 24 hours before he’s unconscious gator-bait and Rusty’s huddled alone in a tent with Sassy.
Eldaglass
September 22nd, 2009 at 8:41 pm [Reply]

MW: Does anyone else want to know what’s in those huge, soon-to-be-bullet-riddled boxes? (Oh, please let it be fireworks. Or those trick mixed nut cans with snakes inside.)
Niall
September 22nd, 2009 at 8:43 pm [Reply]

178. queek: That lineup.. holy crap. I hope someone shows this to Jeph Jacques (creator of Questionable Content) because he’d love it. :)

183. buckyswife: Duly noted. Hopefully I did not just stray again…
Dicky
September 22nd, 2009 at 8:48 pm [Reply]

Re: Ed Power, 154:
Everyone who has responded so far seems to not have remembered (noticed?) that “The Real World,” a seminal reality show, isn’t about eliminating “contestants,” but about placing together multiple disparate persons into a single domicile (and in later seasons, into a single work place) for a “sufficient” amount of time to observe their interactions and personal changes as a grand social experiment. It’s not Big Brother or Survivor.

The younger cast of “My Cage” could possibly fit almost all the apparent “characters” that make the usual Real World cast, outside of the gay one. And you have the added convenience of having a workplace already set up for them, though they’re already tiered within it, rather than working at the same organizational level.

Picking and choosing 7 characters from across the comics page would be an interesting project.

The token gay character is a sadly difficult one for lack of representation. You want them to be existent and somewhat extended as a gay person, and the newspaper comics sadly lack these kinds of characters. Of the ones I can think of (Seth, Mark (9CL), Mark(Doonesbury)), I would prefer either of the Marks. 9CL’s would force gender role thoughts, while Doonesbury’s would force more directly political conversations. Mark from Doonesbury might have aged himself badly out of this project though.
Margo (A3G), Rat(PBS), or Bucky(GF) could all fill the same role of blunt object. Rat and Bucky have been shown to be unrepentantly intransigent, and the apparent possibility of change, no matter how minuscule, would make a better show.
For the sheltered, inexperienced one, Bridget from My Cage comes to mind for me immediately. Brad from Luann could also be interesting, given he seems to fit this archetype in strip.
For the “exotic,” Delta from Luann, Susan from Candorville, Vero or Cuco from La Cucaracha or Asok from Dilbert come to mind. Delta might be too young for the experiment, though. All of them, outside of Susan, have been shown to be immersed in their respective background cultures and proud of it.
For the two gendered gender stereotypes, Reggie or Veronica from Archie, Max or Mindy from Crankshaft, Drew, Adrian and Dawn from Mary Worth, Isobel from 9CL (too old already?) or Duke’s son(?) from Doonesbury (no matter what we ourselves read of them) could each work. Just select at most one from a single strip and one male and one female, as the experiment ought to work better when no one knows each other.
The last slot I would fill with a “sage” character, whether that means slightly older, but within age bounds, or just someone who has lived a lot already and has learned from it. You could probably put an “outsider” into this slot as well. I’m free for anyone in this after filling the rest of the archetypes, but a “partial observer” type would probably be the most interesting, flowing through the rest of everyone, reinforcing and breaking down, while also becoming more of an agent themselves through this experience. Bernice from Luann popped into my mind after writing that last sentence.
Jamus the Bartender
September 22nd, 2009 at 9:10 pm [Reply]

154 Oh, this one’s easy, Ed. Spider-Man, Ziggy, as he’s also kind of a loser, Michael Patterson, the drama queen, Mary Worth, because she’s a bitch, and finally, Cassandra Cat and your own Ashley, so they can get drunk and make out at parties.
I think way too much about these things…..better put Margo in there too.
True Fable
September 22nd, 2009 at 9:51 pm [Reply]

#154 Ed Power! (why do I feel like I ought to wear a magical ring and hold it up in the air when I say that?) -

A Drawn Together forum? Hmmmm…! I should think you’d want them recognizable; no day players unless you just want to use an expendable character as you would a Star Trek engineer.

I’d go with Abbey Spencer (you can play off the money and looks angle quite a bit, plus she would pretty much represent all serial strips)
Dagwood (representing the lazy worker/husband/dipshit demographic)
Marmaduke (the scary nutjob who may or may not eat you alive as you sleep)
Killer from Beetle Bailey (the would-be playa, but I suspect that’s all just a ruse to hide his shortcomings)
Alice Mitchell (you just know she’s a different person when she’s not saddled with Dennis or Henry)
Cathy (representing the contestant you absolutely hate but for some reason, keeps getting votes to stay and no one can figure out why because she is universally hated)
Mark Trail (I mean come on, who doesn’t want a guy So Clueless: every woman in the contest would be after his manly manliness and JUST AS IN THE STRIP, Mark wouldn’t have a clue as to why, unless it’s because they must have a Sincere Interest In Nature! Holy Mackrel!
Hagar (dammit, watch where you’re leaving that horned helmet, you thoughtless butthead!)
Phantom (what’s REALLY under that onesie?)
buckyswife
September 22nd, 2009 at 10:35 pm [Reply]

197 True Fable: And who will tend the goats?
AeroSquid
September 22nd, 2009 at 10:45 pm [Reply]

Well, sir…I know ONE thing that WILL NOT be tolerated in a ‘Drawn Together’ type situation:

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3582/3828459860_a05e1a06ff_o.jpg
sugarpie
September 22nd, 2009 at 10:59 pm [Reply]

8th Man Fan Your chart is just…Wow. Thanks for all the work. I would have taken it all a bit more seriously had I but known; sadly I’m already out of the running-having undershot the day Scott gets to ER.

Uncle Lumpy Thanks for the today’s banner with the Santa Royal/Reservoir Dogs throwdown all sized up. I couldn’t tell the guy with long hair was a guy. I thought he/she was their moll (to be played my Paula Poundstone in the Lifetime movie: “Scott and Adrian-Stupid Is As Stupid Does”) along for the hijinks. I have to wonder if Luann’s Elwood isn’t the money man behind the Santa Royal heroin cartel.
AeroSquid
September 22nd, 2009 at 11:05 pm [Reply]

OR THIS !

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2536/3946766804_ac15999c12_o.jpg
commodorejohn
September 22nd, 2009 at 11:08 pm [Reply]

#200 sugarpie – If you so desire, here’s the large version of the whole strip.
Niall
September 22nd, 2009 at 11:15 pm [Reply]

199/201. AeroSquid: once more, you win internets. Keep going and you’ll get the whole set!

To ChattyGene and others in Japan: I have acquired tonight at long last my cold saké sets, and I think I made some very nice choices (pleeeease let this link work) – the thick blue is Tsukiyono glass, but the second only has a sticker with a single character I can’t identify. Brand? Factory? Type? Artisan? I’d appreciate a bit of help… :)
AeroSquid
September 22nd, 2009 at 11:29 pm [Reply]

Thanks Vince M. I thought the same thing while I was at work !:

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2661/3946037061_228c8cf3b2_o.jpg

GO TEAM VENTURE !
AeroSquid
September 22nd, 2009 at 11:33 pm [Reply]

Thanx commodorejohn for the LARGE VERSION ! =D
queek
September 22nd, 2009 at 11:37 pm [Reply]

194: Niall, I honestly don’t know who you could add as a female sixth to that lineup. *maybe* Max from MC and the PHB from Dilbert as the guys from the apartment across the hall, but not sure who else you could add on the male side to even up the numbers. Mr. Dithers is all bluster, the PHB would eat him alive. OH! Perhaps Ralph from Sally Forth, although not nearly as primary a character. Hagar as a successful small businessman is a reach, he doesn’t have the required level of Trumpian beeyotchiness to hang with the rest of the crowd.

Thoughts on another female and two males to match up 6 a side? Or just one male character to start with 5 a side?
sugarpie
September 22nd, 2009 at 11:55 pm [Reply]

commodorejohn Wow! That’s even better! Many thanks.

Has someone above explained what the hey is going on with the art today, and I missed it? It’s about lightyears ahead of the usual Mary Worth etch-a-sketch artwork. It actually makes Mary Worth *gulp* sort of exciting. Bitter words I know, but there it is.
MolyBendum
September 22nd, 2009 at 11:55 pm [Reply]

#191 8th Man Fan – Thanks for trying to let me see the spreadsheet, but I can’t. No hosting/uploading, no streaming media, no social networking, nothing with the word blog in the url. I can go over to the internet cafe here and check it out, but then I have to wait in line behind a bunch of LNs who smell like a cat that was choked to death with an onion. I try to avoid that place.
MolyBendum
September 23rd, 2009 at 12:08 am [Reply]

Wouldn’t need the Narration Box to tell us who gets shot if maybe the entire police force didn’t look like identical blond twins.
AeroSquid
September 23rd, 2009 at 12:14 am [Reply]

GO TEAM H-VENTURE !!! (now w/attention to detail):

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2632/3946143125_b8359ed859_o.jpg
AeroSquid
September 23rd, 2009 at 12:19 am [Reply]

MW: Oh…I see how it is….this is an ALL ARYAN Cops & Cartels joint …….Where the Ukranians and Cambodians at ? Chigger please……
AeroSquid
September 23rd, 2009 at 12:37 am [Reply]

…..really. Chigger Bailey….stay out of this…..PLEASE ! You’re still young. STAY IN SCHOOL ! DON’T DO H !
Poteet
September 23rd, 2009 at 12:38 am [Reply]

9/23

MW — Yay!! Ginormous deformed hands gripping a gun, storm troopers getting shot, bam pow, and two narration boxes. Heaven, I’m in heaven…

A3G — Hey, wait a minute. The A3G dimwit blonde slot has already been filled. No fair.

S-M — “Bigshot”? Does he perchance have that name because he has a really large…naw, that would actually be mildly interesting.

MT — How does the gator know Mark is there? He’s completely motionless and as we know, he does not emit any kind of human scent.

PHANTOM — KNOW! POWERFUL! TRAIN! BOLDLY! CELL!

FC — We learned earlier that Dolly is turning six, but she has only four candles on her cake. Someone is gaslighting her. I look forward to secretly-rearranged dolls and desperate weeping.
commodorejohn
September 23rd, 2009 at 12:39 am [Reply]

#207 sugarpie – Comic books are not my special area of geekery, but I know that Mary Worth artist Joe Giella used to work on real comic books. So I presume that normal Mary Worth is him looking at the script, going “God, another troubled marriage?” and dashing off something before moving on to more rewarding pursuits. This, however, must have caught his eye, put a smile on his face, and led him to stretch his drawing muscles once more. Let’s hope Moy gives him some more opportunitites for such relative grandeur in the future.
ChattyGenes
September 23rd, 2009 at 12:46 am [Reply]

#203 Niall.

It says TE-TZU-KU-RI, which means “handmade.”

TE (the top character) means “hand,” and is a kanji (a Chinese character).

The three characters under that (reading down) read TZU-KU-RI, which means “made.” They are written in the hiragana syllabary.

Hope that helps!
ChattyGenes
September 23rd, 2009 at 12:49 am [Reply]

me@215. And yes, they are beautiful. I LOVE that shade of blue. Good choices!
AeroSquid
September 23rd, 2009 at 12:49 am [Reply]

?????????????, Chatty-San ?
AeroSquid
September 23rd, 2009 at 12:50 am [Reply]

Crap……Kata-Kana don’t work here ! =p
AeroSquid
September 23rd, 2009 at 12:52 am [Reply]

OHAYO !!!
sugarpie
September 23rd, 2009 at 1:02 am [Reply]

214, commodorejohn. Now I see Giella has had quite a career in all facets of illustration. About 70 years worth it looks like. Good for him, and I have to agree that he must have been licking his chops when anticipating the warehouse spree. I wonder what he could do with Beetle Baily?

Poor bastard, no wonder the Charterstone pool parties are so limp, but his work on Charlie Smith makes more sense now. And amen to Moy writing something that could better use his talent.
ChattyGenes
September 23rd, 2009 at 1:06 am [Reply]

#217 – 219 AeroSquid.

I WONDERED what all those question marks were! And good morning to you too!
AeroSquid
September 23rd, 2009 at 1:10 am [Reply]

Chatty-Sama: And now it’s time for bed ! Oyasumi nasai !
AeroSquid
September 23rd, 2009 at 1:11 am [Reply]

….or Konban wa. Depending on the level of politeness ! =D
Ovyron
September 23rd, 2009 at 1:13 am [Reply]

Who made all these ads in Comic Sans?!

What were they thinking?!!
Citric
September 23rd, 2009 at 1:29 am [Reply]

A3G: I like how he looks like he’s pushing her into the bus. He’s like the world’s most sarcastic serial killer.
ChattyGenes
September 23rd, 2009 at 1:30 am [Reply]

#223 AeroSquid. Goodnight!

(Goodnight is always “oyasumi nasai,” by the way. “Konbanwa” means “good evening” and is usually a greeting. I’ve never heard it as a dismissal phrase as you may sometimes hear it used in British movies.):-)

Anyway, sweet dreams!
ChattyGenes
September 23rd, 2009 at 1:36 am [Reply]

me at #226. Just in case that didn’t make any sense, what I MEANT was that you never hear “Konbanwa” used as a dismissal phrase in the same the way that “Good evening” is sometimes used to mean “goodbye” in British movies.
Niall
September 23rd, 2009 at 1:47 am [Reply]

MW Pool: I think the Friday people are going to win… It won’t be Thursday anyway.
commodorejohn
September 23rd, 2009 at 1:48 am [Reply]

#220 sugarpie – Ah, good point. After decades of the blandest characters on the funny pages outside of Apartment 3-G men, the chance to draw someone as hilariously salacious as Charlie must’ve been a dream come true for ol’ Joe =D
Vince M
September 23rd, 2009 at 7:44 am [Reply]

204,210 – AeroSquid: That was AWEsome! I’d (naturally) thought of Brock as the mulletman in the scene, but he’d never need a machine gun for a bloody rampage.
Crankenstank
September 23rd, 2009 at 12:53 pm [Reply]

I’m looking forward to seeing Ed’s toes rolling away in tomorrow’s installment.

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