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Careful where you point those things!

Zits, 11/18/05

There’s an issue that’s been percolating in the comments for some time, but I’ve decided that it’s finally time for me to take a stand on it. And that issue is as follows: Momma Zits’s breasts: What’s the deal with them? I mean, the comics section is full of breasts that could not possibly occur in nature, but at least I understand why those boobs are the way they are: because the artists who draw them are desperately lonely horn-dogs. Momma Zits’s boobs, on the other hand, are just strange and disturbing to me. I suppose that someone out there finds them sexy — there is a lid for every pot, after all — but still … they’re awful … pointy. Like, eye-gougingly pointy. Be careful with the hugging there, Jeremy.

The effect is lost in this colorized version of the strip, but when you see Momma Zits in the paper, her shirt (other than that band around her chest) and her skin are the same color, which makes it look as if she’s wearing some kind of ultra-small tube top. This does not help matters.

Good to see that teenage cruelty has been kicked up a notch since my days bearing the brunt of it: rather than just slap a post-it note on his back, Jeremy’s tormentors actually took the time to scrawl their cruel epithets directly onto his omnipresent purple shirt. Nice.

By the way, I’m well aware of the fact that, unlike most cartoon clans, the Zits family members all have actual first and last names. As usual, I’m just too lazy to look them all up.

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