The Comics Curmudgeon

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Metapost: Comments of the week vs. the IAEA

Your comments of the week coming shortly, but first, the inevitable items! The first, and most unsettling, comes from faithful reader Thomas Treasure. Did you know that, in the early ’50s, you could purchase a real honest-to-God radioactive Atomic Energy Lab for your kids? And that the possible benefits of the new atomic science were extolled by major comics characters in an accompanying comic book, Dagwood Splits the Atom? Thomas nicely encapsulates why I find the concept of a nuclear-armed Bumstead clan so disturbing:

Kim Jong-Il is the devil we know. Communist, egomaniac, loves him some opera. Dagwood Bumstead, we’ve had an open line to his everyday life for more than 75 years, but we still only know the most superficial things about him. So many questions remain: Why does he still wear a tuxedo when he’s poor and has been cut off by his wealthy family for so long that all of his original tuxedos surely must have worn out? Why doesn’t Blondie Boopadoop Bumstead still dress like a “flapper”? Who’s the narrator who knows so much about Dagwood in this gem, and can he answer these questions for us?

Then there’s this charming photo from faithful reader rocketbride:

“Although Margo would never be caught dead caring for the youth of others,” rocketbride says, “she might seize on the opportunity to impart her wisdom in managing conflict for gain. Also, note the mood ring: dead black.”

And now, your COMMENT OF THE WEEK!

“So Maggot is raising his son in a French Foreign Legion outpost in the blistering desert of North Africa, and the kid wears a down parka? Is anyone even trying?” –gnemec

And the runners up! Very funny!

“Is it possible that we’re simply reading Apartment 3-G wrong and what seems to be a little flirting over mutant avocado mangoes is actually the cover code-conversation of Resistance operatives in an occupied nation during World War II? Note how careful Aristotle and Gabriella are to keep their eyes on everything in the world other than each other. They know if they’re caught there’s no hope for the raid on Navarone.” –Chip Whittle

“At first, I thought the joke in Crankshaft was about bus drivers committing theft. It’s actually about bus drivers inflicting property damage. I totally get it now.” –littlefox

“Future nurses? Ha! Nobody in Westview has a future.” –Ed Dravecky

“Today’s Marvin got me so hopeful that an extraterrestrial might abduct Marvin and rid him from our lives. Then I realized that they would return him immediately after the disgusting results of the anal probe.” –Sister Sestina

“Dr. Jeff should have a idea balloon above his head: ‘MAYBE IF I LEAVE MY GREEN DINNER JACKET WITH SCOTT HE WILL REWARD ME WITH PICS OF HIS PAPPY WHEN HE WAKES UP.’” –mr 12 oz can

“Despite years of idiot man-child blundering against foes who are usually much better-equipped (and usually smarter) than him, Mark always comes out ahead. However, if they all share the common inability to distinguish ‘unconscious’ from ‘dead,’ we may be on to something. Besides an inability to know when Mark is permanently down, it’s possible these villains have an innate fear of sleep, confusing it with death. This naturally wears down their reserves so that Mark only has to stay alive a few weeks before his enemies simply drop from exhaustion. It’s possible he doesn’t even have to hit them very hard to achieve the effect.” –Alan’s Addiction

“The official Pluggers P.O. Box is closing. I shudder to think what exactly the unofficial Pluggers P.O. Box was.” –Rob

“We all know he’s just going to pray for him, or ask him to get well for Adrian’s sake, or, most cloying and therefore most likely, give Detective Scott his consent to marry his daughter. And, of course, this will instantly cure him, because nothing brings someone out of a coma like nausea.” –Helena Handbasket

“Pluggers grew up in a food chain shot through and through with strontium-90, which explains a lot about pluggers’ considerable genetic irregularities.” –One-eyed Wolfdog

“Pluggers remember when BM stood for Bowel Movement … and they remember how they weren’t always a half hour long.” –PeteMoss

“I think the simplest explanation for Dr. Jeff heading back in to the room is that he just wanted to take a couple of hits off of the morphine drip so that he could face lunch with Mary and his daughter.” –Saluki

“What’s Gil doing with his hand in panel 2? The only reasonable explanation I can think of is that he’s indicating Murph Wolman’s height, but if his hand is at 5′9”, Gil is a good seven feet tall. Then again, since Murph’s heart is apparently 5′2” and about 170 pounds, I guess anything’s possible.” –Steve S

“A bolded, different font, all-caps adjustment is the only way characters in Mark! Trail! can communicate genuine excitation or emotion anymore. I can’t wait until one of these poachers is eaten by an alligator and the only way the letterer is going to be able to communicate a genuine scream will be to insert a gift-card-style sound chip into every newspaper in America.” –Black Drazon

“Sideburns Guy isn’t asking if Mark is a ‘wildlife’ man (as in one who is an expert on nature). He’s asking if he’s a ‘wild-life’ man (as in one who lives a very wild life). Perhaps he’s thinking that a guy who could escape a gator devouring might well be the sort of dude he’d want to party with. That would be an interesting turn of events, as partying with Mark and family would be a far harsher punishment than whatever the law would hand down for poaching.” –Digger

“In the last panel Hi and Lois display the blissed out smile that can only be achieved through a perfect combination of denial and pharmaceuticals.” –NoahSnark

“Mark’s worn that blazing pink shirt in Sunday matinees before. All his other khakis from the week are dirty or pungent or have lost their sharply pressed creases, so on Sundays Mark wears the shirt Cherry washed with a load of her own shirts and hysteria.” –True Fable

“Would you like me to follow your every movement? With my penis?” –commodorejohn

“ALL animals are murderers, but only the shrike does it with pizazz.” –tb4000

Three cheers for everyone who put cash into my tip jar! And cheers also to my advertisers:

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This entry was posted on Monday, October 19, 2009 at 07:10 pm and is filed under Apartment 3-G, Blondie, metaposts.

94 responses to “Metapost: Comments of the week vs. the IAEA”

Rusty
October 19th, 2009 at 7:19 pm [Reply]

Excellent work folks.
Chet McCord, Wildlife Defender
October 19th, 2009 at 7:42 pm [Reply]

That’s it?
Muffaroo
October 19th, 2009 at 7:45 pm [Reply]

A plugger’s unofficial PO box is a shiny cube-shaped box with no bottom that used to stand on his porch in the 60s for that long-gone dairy to leave glass bottles of milk in and which now acts as a hiding place for the spare house key.
One-eyed Wolfdog
October 19th, 2009 at 7:53 pm [Reply]

If you want to buy some good old fashioned radioactive shit for your kiddies to play with, I totally recommend these guys:
http://www.unitednuclear.com/

(Any time you’re a little down, and thinking to yourself, “The internet: was it really worth it?”, that site should renew your faith.)
buckyswife
October 19th, 2009 at 7:57 pm [Reply]

Congrats on the very funny CsOTW!

I need chocolate; anyone interested in flinging some my way?
JP (not Judge Parker)
October 19th, 2009 at 7:59 pm [Reply]

Congrats all! Awesome snark as always!
Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
October 19th, 2009 at 8:43 pm [Reply]

4 — I totally concur with unitednuclear being all that. But my hometown heroes at http://www.dangerouslaboratories.org/ are pretty good too (read the article on the Radioactive Boy Scout!).
One-eyed Wolfdog
October 19th, 2009 at 8:56 pm [Reply]

That’s a fascinating comic. Is the binding energy of a six-foot tall uranium nucleus the same as in a normal one? I ask only because I think “bang”, even in caps, is somewhat of an understatement there.

#7 – their page on lasers is wonderful! Every year when I was a kid, they asked what I wanted for Christmas, and I dogeared the pages in Edmund Scientific that had lasers and fresnel lenses. Never got lucky on either count.
One-eyed Wolfdog
October 19th, 2009 at 9:05 pm [Reply]

I think “SERIOUSLY BANG”, possibly even with an exclamation mark, would be more appropriate.
Lisa
October 19th, 2009 at 9:20 pm [Reply]

Great comments, everyone!

Speaking of the comics…. was this one of those days where everyone (or almost everyone) agreed to make a comic about a certain subject? Volunteerism seems to be the topic du jour….

And how about the Blondie/Beetle Bailey crossover? Didn’t expect that one at all.
Ukulele Ike
October 19th, 2009 at 9:33 pm [Reply]

re: Baldo: Yenny? YENNY? This is R. Crumb’s wildest wet dream! Why am I only learning about this strip now?
bad wolf
October 19th, 2009 at 9:43 pm [Reply]

Wait a second… i just looked through the last few weeks of Pluggers and there wasn’t a PO Box in there anywhere! How long has it been email only? And why did he wait so long to order his fans around?
True Fable
October 19th, 2009 at 9:48 pm [Reply]

Hooray for gnemec’s COTW win! And hooray for the rest of the float riders, of which I am a proud and happy member this week!

Thought I might dress the ninja goats up so you can actually see them but I’ll just throw trinkets and kibble to y’all instead!
Johnny Knuckles
October 19th, 2009 at 10:16 pm [Reply]

“Is anyone even trying?” is going on my work shirt.
Johnny Knuckles
October 19th, 2009 at 10:17 pm [Reply]

That’s right. I only have one shirt for work.
Digger
October 19th, 2009 at 10:36 pm [Reply]

Thanks for the spot on the float. I’m now left to wonder how enjoyable Blondie would be if Dagwood’s job was actually exploding giant atoms instead of….whatever the hell he does. Then when Dithers got mad he could just throw Dagwood into the reactor core and lock the door. Oh the fun!
Sister Sestina
October 19th, 2009 at 10:54 pm [Reply]

Niall of Y36 certainly made my day with his Inappropriate Quotation, but Josh made my week with the float-spot. Woo! Can I stand this sudden rush of joy to the brain? Can I recover in time for Global Dignity Day tomorrow, which may be the occasion for the coordinated strip effort Lisa @ 10 detects? I’d research the matter more fully except that even just looking at the Google snippets maketh mine eyes glaze over…
sugarpie
October 19th, 2009 at 10:59 pm [Reply]

Another great week of comments! Thanks to all and congratulations to gnemec and all the runners up.
Niall
October 20th, 2009 at 12:01 am [Reply]

Y50 Poteet: It does seem that a lot of children’s entertainment seems to not be so pure. There are other ways to make them grow up than to make them cynical. It’ll happen soon enough as it is. Or else, even the really small children’s shows, as I saw in some demo reels, have references to things they cannot possibly understand, though that’s nothing new; most of the classic movie scenes I’ve first experienced as references/parodies/homages in various kids’ comics.

Oh, and Rocky & Bullwinkle was so rife with hidden snarks, but well-hidden and layered.

…and that’s all the comments I was able to get through tonight before I got distracted. But I did find the TV Funhouse parody of Dora I think I was talking about earlier: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bAKR-OXq6hU (Image quality is horrible with black bands due to different frequencies between TV and camera, but the sound is good, and you don’t really miss anything of the images; the only other version online is tiny and washed out video and completely inaudible audio.)
Mibbitmaker
October 20th, 2009 at 12:21 am [Reply]

10/20 (30/40/50/60/…):

ReFOOB: So, this time Ellie is going to be the terrible, overwrought author with the impossible book deal? Sorry, Mikey….

NS: Wow, but Danae is a versatile character! She stands in for anyone Wiley disagrees with — and is also a stand-in for Wiley, himself. Amazing.
True Fable
October 20th, 2009 at 12:46 am [Reply]

Please, PLEASE tell me Mary is about to slap a bitch today! Please tell me that all this waiting for Mary to do something in her own comic strip will be worth it when she hauls off and smacks Adrian. See? She’s even figuring that she’s ready!
bats :[
October 20th, 2009 at 12:47 am [Reply]

sugarpie: do you think we ought to start a “Save Rex Morgan” petition? Not that the strip is being dropped, but that Rex is never in them?
Just wondering…
agony
October 20th, 2009 at 12:49 am [Reply]

How much lead time does a comic need? Take a look at New Adventures of Queen Victoria today for a “ripped from the headlines” win.
True Fable
October 20th, 2009 at 1:12 am [Reply]

Apartment of Doom Can it be that Margaret in responding to our constant ribbing about Tommie’s horrible taste in clothing? Are we going to see Frank Bolle versions of Stacy and Clint from “What Not to Wear” in the coming days? Oh Boy!

Sam Driver’s Pretty People Posse Cool, I wanted to see more law stuff and pot-dealing neighbor stories. Still… well, Sam’s got to go home at some point, and then we’ll see Abbey. So okay, keep going with the law stuff; we’ve got Gloria’s skin-tight suits to admire in the interim.

Dont Ask Dont Tell Just offhand, I’d say that Sarge definitely wants some.
Dr. Weird
October 20th, 2009 at 1:21 am [Reply]

Unspeakable filth! Image of a naughty personals ad that uses that seedy Garfield costume photo as a point of interest. http://i37.tinypic.com/2e6cxnb.jpg
KarMann
October 20th, 2009 at 1:24 am [Reply]

10/20:
BB: Well, it looks like Sarge wants some, all right, and how!
Marvin: And thus, the Village People were born!
PBS joins Slylock in perpetuating the vicious stereotyping of rats!
Josh
October 20th, 2009 at 1:27 am [Reply]

Dr. Weird #25 –

Holy crap that personal ad! Difficult as it is, let us ignore for the moment the image of Garfield-on-Jon action (I notice he’s looking for a lady … does he think Garfield is a girl?) and focus on the picture of the fursuited Garfield. It is, in fact, taken from this very site!

http://joshreads.com/?p=2372

This is a picture taken and sent to me by a faithful reader in Shanghai, as you see in the text. Either said faithful reader is soliciting fursuit sex via Craiglist, or the ad writer found the pic on my blog. INTRIGUING!

Josh
Poteet
October 20th, 2009 at 1:31 am [Reply]

Yay for gnemec and you other funny float people! Huzzah!
Farley's Revenge
October 20th, 2009 at 1:35 am [Reply]

#5<Buckyswife: If you were anywhere near our house, I would invite you over for the chocolatey-est chocolate cake you ever had. Younger offspring is a chocoholic and for his birthday requested a chocolate cake. Well, we found one. It’s devil’s food with rich chocolate frosting-4 layers, no less-and coated with shaved chocolate.

I can feel my blood sugar skyrocketing as I type this…

Congrats to all the CoTW’ers! Great stuff!
Farley's Revenge
October 20th, 2009 at 1:36 am [Reply]

My blood sugar is so messed up right now I can’t even remember how to do HTML…that’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
Poteet
October 20th, 2009 at 1:39 am [Reply]

10/20

GA — Gertie, quit exuding huge gross drops of fluid from your face, or else. I’m ready to try violence.

MW — I have to admit I didn’t see that coming.
Poteet
October 20th, 2009 at 1:46 am [Reply]

# 31 — Oops. Sorry. Time for bed. It was supposed to be A3G’s bizarre reality TV show that I didn’t see coming.

In the case of MW, I am cold-bloodedly thinking that if Adrian had agreed to marry Scott, she’d now be a broken-hearted fiancee instead of a broken-hearted girlfriend. But other than that, I don’t see what difference it would make. This being MW, I very much doubt if she would have had sex with Scott before the wedding night. Maybe she’s lamenting because, being as how they weren’t engaged, they never french-kissed.
Poteet
October 20th, 2009 at 1:50 am [Reply]

9CL — No Edda, Amos, or Mary. A public service of sorts.
Poteet
October 20th, 2009 at 1:54 am [Reply]

# 25 Dr. Weird — Thank you for the *dissolves into uncontrollable laughter resulting in hiccups*
Farley's Revenge
October 20th, 2009 at 1:59 am [Reply]

MW: While some might say Mary is about to slap Adrian silly, I think it would be more accurate to say Mary is about to slap Adrian smart. Not that either matters. What matters is Mary is about to slap Adrian and that has to be a good thing.
Jym Boopadoop, Wildlife Man
October 20th, 2009 at 3:39 am [Reply]

=v= Blondie: The reason Blondie can’t dress as a flapper any more is that she grew breasts. Either motherhood had an unusual lasting effect on her or she was 13 when she married Dagwood.
Farley's Revenge
October 20th, 2009 at 3:42 am [Reply]

SF: Nooo! Sally and Ted discussing their sex life(or whatever passes for such). Like Hilary, I may be scarred for life.

9CL: Okay, this one made me laugh. Poor Mark.
Sister Sestina
October 20th, 2009 at 3:42 am [Reply]

Dagwood Splits the Atom? Only because he thought “yellowcake” was that night’s dessert.
farfaraway
October 20th, 2009 at 5:40 am [Reply]

MW: I can’t stop the feeling that Adrian is whining about the wrong thing – waaahhh – my spouse is dying but the important thing is that I did not tell him I was ready to rush into this wonderful romantic wedding… If only I had … then I could stand at his grave as his fiancee and not as one of many girlfriends.
Or does she believe he threw himself in the bullet because of her hesitation?
Well, young Lady, now it’s time to pray that he gets better – if you fail at that, you can start to whine about playing hard to get at the wrong time.
willethompson
October 20th, 2009 at 6:02 am [Reply]

Ghost Who Wears Stripey Pants:

Phantom: “Do you have a moment, Lamanda?”

Lamanda: “For an old friend? It’s what I need most! …Especially an old friend whose toned and luscious physique ripples beneath a single layer of clingy Spandex®! Martini? Clove cigarette?”
Bryan
October 20th, 2009 at 6:41 am [Reply]

Baldo: Every other strip this week has been about the wonders of volunteerism. Baldo is about the wonders of lying to girls on the Internet. Not that I’m complaining.
My Cage: Oh Ashley, if only I were an anthropomorphic animal living in a post-human future I’d treat you right. Props to Mel on giving the hipster a keffiyeh.
Safe Havens: Geez, you’d think the dead would be less bitter.

25, Dr. Weird: I looked at that personal ad and now I want to know what the “jaybird lifestyle” is. The Urban Dictionary is inconclusive.
Carrie ForthWorth
October 20th, 2009 at 6:53 am [Reply]

A3G – well “I Dressed in the Dark” would be a change from “I Dressed in the 19th Century” for Ruby.

RMMD – you know, if I was thinking of cheating on my handsome husband, it wouldn’t be with a creepy serial killer with an anger management problem. Just saying.
mordock999
October 20th, 2009 at 6:55 am [Reply]

Today’s Luann 10/20/09

“Enjoyable Volunteering”, eh Delta?
GREAT Idea, let’s do it!
Let every WORKING American take the day OFF and Volunteer to DO something!
Oh, it may LOOK like a General Strike, but its about VOLUNTEERING, doing something POSITIVE, sending a MESSAGE and feeling Really, Really gooey, gooey, GOOD about yourself.
Delta, you’ll have a GREAT FUTURE in politics.
When THAT day comes I will very much look forward to Voting AGAINST you.
______________________

DEATH to TJ!!!
Little Guy
October 20th, 2009 at 7:31 am [Reply]

Yay to CotW and the Floaters!

YennyLopezWeekatBaldo: Frank Cho’s Brandy. Yenny. Jello.
LP2004
October 20th, 2009 at 7:43 am [Reply]

Re: #45 (until it gets deleted) – WWMD to spammers? Discuss.
ladadog
October 20th, 2009 at 7:48 am [Reply]

MW: My my, Mary is not above stealing a panel from Mark Trail as she winds up for a Slap o’ Self-Righteousness. And when I first looked at that raised palm, I counted six fingers aimed at Adrian’s head. That could account for Mary’s heavy handedness whilst dispensing ‘advice’.

Apt 3G: Oh please, Ruby, enter Tommie’s name, enter Tommie’s name, enter Tommie’s name, please?
Mibbitmaker
October 20th, 2009 at 7:54 am [Reply]

#46 (LP2004): WWMD to spammers (like cronterorry #45)? Well, it would definately involve a shrike….
Bryan
October 20th, 2009 at 7:57 am [Reply]

Hey, here’s a Josh sighting. The SNPP capsule of the Simpsons episode “A Milhouse Divided” (the one where Kirk and Luann get divorced).
http://www.snpp.com/episodes/4F04.html

Scroll down to the “Did you notice?” section.
teenchy
October 20th, 2009 at 8:10 am [Reply]

BB 10/20: Okay, someone more creative than I, run with Sarge railing Cookie in the ass for cake.
Mibbitmaker
October 20th, 2009 at 8:12 am [Reply]

Luann: This from Ms. Guilty Obligation herself??
And what teenager does adult anti-teenager wisecracks, anyway?

Lockhorny: “…I’m not kidding. Seriously, Leroy’s actually dead!”

MT: Looks like Elrodball’s about to be dead, too. Yikes!

Marvin: Well, metaphorically….

OBH: How about potato-&-onionade? Mmm-yummy!

RMMD: I want to know where REX is…!

S-M: Eliminates crime’s threat to the populace by wanting active criminals doing their foul deeds just so he can stop them/get a photograph! Gee, thanks alot, insect!

ReFOOB: “…because this is a second go-around for this story that lasted nearly 20 years the first time! I mean, how much longer can Johnston hold out…?”

3G: “Oh, Dr. Greekname didn’t notice me ’cause of that other woman! I know! — a makeover!…” Way to sell out your gender, Ruby.
Whippersnapper
October 20th, 2009 at 8:18 am [Reply]

A3-G: Is Ruby seriously asking Tommie- she of the bland-colored blouses buttoned up to her eyeballs- if she is aware of a show about fashion? But then I suppose if most of your accessories are gigantic hairbows of the type that are normally seen on infants because they are incapable of resistance, Tommie probably looks pretty sharp.
Écureuil Écumant
October 20th, 2009 at 8:18 am [Reply]

47: Those supernumerary digits give Mary the proportional meddling power of an octopus.

48: I imagine an enthusiastic personal response by Sgt. Snorkel to that ad would provide an amusingly appropriate pre-impalement impalement.

PS — Buckyswife, I hope your promised Anti-Stinkbug Shrike Force got there in time.
LUJBEM FEJF
October 20th, 2009 at 8:33 am [Reply]

Dick- Really Dick? You’ve been in the cage for two weeks now and you haven’t noticed the trapeze bar over you head? Ye Gods! The powers of observation for such a great detective are slipping (into a coma brought on by this never ending story). Alas, I don’t believe Mr. Pops will be eaten. Although I’ll stay tuned. I believe this should all be resolved sometime next year.
Écureuil Écumant
October 20th, 2009 at 8:36 am [Reply]

JP: With 20 versions of CSI on at virtually all hours of the day, these legacy crime strips really have to step it up “just a tad”. Sure there are scenarios where a residue analysis might be inaccurate. Cite us a couple of specific ones. Then you can explain to us that a Luminol test doesn’t always work either — for instance, if you don’t have a blacklight. Feh.

Popeye: Adding stink lines to “smogs” may be gilding the lily — or the country-sized turd, which it much more closely resembles thanks to those gratuitous embellishments.
sugarpie
October 20th, 2009 at 8:39 am [Reply]

bats :[ 22 We may not need a petition-Rex can hear a zipper from miles away. (And isn’t it always the doofusy guys who are packin’?)
hogenmogen
October 20th, 2009 at 8:53 am [Reply]

A3G: Tommie wonders “What is this ‘tv’ of which Ruby speaks? Images sent through the air? Telling stories? A transvestite can do that? How can this be?”

BC: Ha ha! He’s fucking a rock!

Crock: To cook something, don’t you need – uh, a fire or something?

Funky: It really improves this strip when it goes back to its core strength, and focuses on high school students instead of their troubled, aging and downright creepy teachers.

Gil: Duncan’s on ‘roids, dude. Like, gosh, I didn’t see that one coming four or five weeks ago.

MyCage: Ashley is about to make another bad dating decision. However, being as this guy is an emu, and she’s a bengal tiger, if it doesn’t work out she can always have him for lunch.

Ziggy: Way to go. Only 2+ years late. Oh, and not remotely funny even if it were well timed. You sad little man.

Spiderman: Wow, now even Spidey is getting bored of his strip.

Sarge goosed the cook! They look similar enough to be brothers. Why does this insult to the United States’s fighting forces continue to inflict its daily damage to our national psyche? Mort Walker hates America.

Rex-minus-Rex: Becka and this writer guy have been driving around for at three and a half weeks. He suggests that they have sex in the backseat instead of looking for some old coots in the rain. Please, Becka, please! ANYTHING but more driving in the rain. When Nolan & Wilson map out the story arc, did they think that a month of chatting in a car would be thrill-a-minute excitement for almost a month?
queek
October 20th, 2009 at 9:08 am [Reply]

DT: wow, last time I saw eyes like that, it was on the side of a boat during a TV version of The Odyssey.

OBH: has it been long enough for this to be a “potato-ade” shout-out?

GF: I am so loving TV Announcer Ferret.

9CL & LaCuc: ouch.

MT: gynormous opossum, no longer ass-sniffing.

RwO: someone *please* add a Sanrio head on Kalashnikov Kitty?

Zits: anime tears fail.

SB: I can’t decide if this joke is lame or inspired.

for a nice pic of a hairy bear in tighty whiteys, see The Grizzwells today.
Muffaroo
October 20th, 2009 at 9:25 am [Reply]

AD – In the first panel, Peter has a reverie of a vaguely volunteer-week nature. Then he’s punished by being turned into Elly Patterson. The noisy eating and the flapping and shaving of sheets takes place offstage, thank god.

Beetle – Sarge, his clone, and the art of the reach-around.

Hi – Another strip does its bit for ‘carpet crumb week.’

Mark – “Hi, Shrewkateers! It’s me, your old pal, Mickey Shrew! Well, Tuesday is Guest Star Day! Haha!”

Mary – Mary, for crying out loud, it’s Adrian’s line! Get your hand off her mouth.

Non Seq – Sorry, kid, but you’re no Sid Vicious.

Snuffy – I thought you needed sliced bread for toasters.

Spidey – Hey, Pete! I’ll bet if you shot a porn flick with MJ, you could sell it and make enough money for a plasma TV!
Dingo
October 20th, 2009 at 9:45 am [Reply]

Tonight, on FOX:
7PM: I Dressed in the Dark
8PM: I Farted in Church
9PM: Fantasies Involving Glenn Beck in a Bustier
Écureuil Écumant
October 20th, 2009 at 9:52 am [Reply]

DT: Dick hardly needs a trapeze to escape. He’s so utterly two-dimensional, he could slip effortlessly through any of the innumerable cracks in this storyline.
buckyswife
October 20th, 2009 at 10:03 am [Reply]

BB: Gah. There are, what, 359 other angles from which Sarge could have slammed into Cookie. Why in the hell did Walker have to choose that one?

Curtis: Great—so we go from cat-food sandwiches to a back-from-the-grave Peter Lorre living in an apartment covered in 4 inches of bird shit. Someone tell me why this strip is still around?

SF: Ted can be a little goofy sometimes, but he makes perfect sense today.

JP: So Sam is the experienced legal expert, and Gloria is just the hot secretary, right? Because other than Gloria’s outfit, there’s been nothing in the strip the last few days to confirm those roles.

MT: Be careful, Bob Jackson—your pal is… growing! If you continue to piss off Poachy McHairhelmet, he’s going to swell to the size of a giant possum!

A3G: I keep looking at these two women, and looking at them, and for the life of me, I can’t figure out which of them Ruby thinks should attend the audition.

SM: Spiderman: Keeping the city safe from photo opportunities.
Darkefang
October 20th, 2009 at 10:04 am [Reply]

A3G: Let me help explain this to Tommie. Ruby is insinuating that television audiences would be glued to their televisions in amazement to see how little fashion sense you have. Keep in mind this is coming from a middle-aged woman who shops for hair accessories in the children’s section.

Crankshaft: At first glance, today’s Crankshaft appears to be a recycled strip from a couple months ago. A keen eye tells us that this is entirely new, however.

First of all, when Crankshaft complained about the job the kid did on the yard in the previous strip, he said, “Hey! You missed a spot!” In a clever twist, this time Crankshaft says, “Hey! You missed one!”

The other major difference between the two strips is that this time, the kid is holding a rake instead of pushing a lawnmower.

Kudos to Crankshaft for it’s subtlety and nuance. And kudos again.

MT: They seemed to be poaching just fine before Bob joined up, so I don’t know why they need him there now. Bob must be in charge of the pomade supply.

MW: If it makes you feel any better Adrian, being engaged to Scott wouldn’t make him any less full of gunshot wounds right now.
buckyswife
October 20th, 2009 at 10:06 am [Reply]

29 Farley’s Revenge: Ooooo….. Well, I could move.

53 Écureuil Écumant: “Shrike Force” should be on the fall TV schedule with “Racoon Patrol”!
One-eyed Wolfdog
October 20th, 2009 at 10:07 am [Reply]

I’m in the middle of a project right now, but as soon as I have the time free, I am going to compose an opening theme for Racoon Patrol.
Les of the Jungle Patrol
October 20th, 2009 at 10:08 am [Reply]

Oh look, 9CL has a FAG joke! hahahahahahaha! Oh, I nearly wet myself laughing. Homosexuals are so funny! Ha! Maybe now Seth will go sew another wedding dress without once mentioning he has no similar rights for himself! Hahaha! I do love tame homosexuals! I wish I could have one as a pet too!
commodorejohn
October 20th, 2009 at 10:20 am [Reply]

A3G – I Dressed In The Dark? What is it, a porno soap opera?

BrS – I love this kid.

BR – Ha ha! Twitter! Ha ha ha ARGH WOULD YOU STOP WITH THE FUCKING TWITTER JOKES ALREADY

Crock – Wow, um, Crock was actually intelligible today. Not gut-bustingly hilarious, but it made sense. Is this a sign of the End Times?

Curtis – Hey, aardvarks kick ass.

FW – “Because we’re going to drown. Do you understand me? Batiuk is going to kill off everybody but Les and Summer in a world-wide flood. Do you understand the implications of that?”

Luann – Yeah, well, all other opinions re: the president aside, that is the dumbest thing I have ever heard in my life. And you’re dumb for buying into it, Delta. But hey, at least you’ve decided to use the threat of physical harm to force your friends into doing what you think they should be doing. I’m sure that’s not totalitarian in any way, shape, or form.

MW – Oh baby. Mary may have made a late entrance, but she is going to meddle the hell out of Adrian now. “Yes, yes, now if only you’d been ready earlier, then this probably could’ve been avoided, eh? Not that it was your fault, heavens no! But isn’t it funny how life works out sometimes? I’ve heard it said that ‘if you try to resolve things on your own, you’ll only come later to the conclusion that Mary would have led you to.’ Food for thought.”

MC – Hey, Ted Confey got a makeover!

OBH – This is the reason I love One Big Happy. Even the normal characters are a bit off their rocker.

SF – Hey, “yeah, sure” is a hell of a lot more active than most comic characters’ love lives (Arlo and Janis and the Spider-Man Parkers excepted.)

SM – The poor octopus just gets no love. They’re incredibly fascinating creatures, the smartest invertebrates on the planet, they can wrestle a goddamn shark to death, and they have a plethora of über-awesome special abilities, but all anyone ever thinks is “ew, tentacles!” Does that seem right to you?
commodorejohn
October 20th, 2009 at 10:22 am [Reply]

#66 Les of the Jungle Patrol – Wow. And here I thought Brooke couldn’t get any more juvenile. What next, a week of incredibly pretentious fart jokes?
MaryAnnTheRest
October 20th, 2009 at 10:26 am [Reply]

I only have one thing to say: I don’t feel right about being a poacher anymore.
Mela
October 20th, 2009 at 10:45 am [Reply]

Baldo: I’ll take a whole week of Frank Cho-esque eye candy than another strip jammering on about volunteer work. Still, the girl is oddly anime-esque; it’s like she wandered in from another strip. Is this a stealth crossover?

‘Shaft: Oh, boy, another week of Crankshaft berating a schmucky teenager over yardwork. Where’s the random snake when we need it?

Curtis: I find this premise oddly cute, like the man’s trying desperately to fill his house with happiness.

ReFOOB: We all know what’s going on that one night a week when John’s alone now.

FW: Almost but not quite. Still, it’s cute.

GA: Gertie, wipe that big glob of… something off your face. Please.

GF: While this storyline has been a bit hit or miss for me, I LOVE the anchor ferret.

Luann: #67/commodorejohn summed up my comments on what an utter tool Delta is. The only way this can be redeemed is if they accidentally kill each other with their sticks.

My Cage & PBS: Again, these made me laugh too much. Thanks, guys.

Zits: I’m pretty sure those aren’t tears and that she just licked him like a happy Newfoundland.
Victory Garden
October 20th, 2009 at 11:01 am [Reply]

Re: the CL ad –

OK, if some nice, sane guy wants to get nasty wearing Garfield costumes …. I guess it can be negotiated. I even have the hair and rack for some Helga the Horrible play. Into threesomes? Eh, whatever. I won’t say no if they’re cute–

AAAAAAGH! MICHAEL BOLTON FAN? AAAAAGHHH!!

Get away from me right the hell now, you freako suave. Clear history! Clear cache!
Sister Sestina
October 20th, 2009 at 11:07 am [Reply]

commodorejohn @66: My thoughts about the octopus are more like “tentacles, yum!”
Niall
October 20th, 2009 at 11:07 am [Reply]

Apt 3G: “I dressed in the dark” could be a hilarious new reality/fashion show doubly embarassing: you’re shown racks of alternating fantastic and ugly clothes all around you, then the lights are turned off and you’re spun around, stripped naked, then have 15 minutes to find something to wear. THen you’re paraded on stage in front of the judges (and audience) who rip into your choices. Margo would be one of the judges, obviously.

Archie: augh, continuity! We had that for the wedding teaser, now it’s for volunteerism. National Volunteer Week was in April, so that can’t be it…

Beetle: Sadly, this was definitely among the first places where I figured I’d see the internet meme “Surprise buttsecks” illustrated.

Curtis: …they’re miniature blue jays. The guy must have been quite the amazing animal geneticist.

Dennis: Gah. Gah gah gah. I briefly parsed that as “licking the poon” and GAH GAH GAH GAH

Dick: GAAAAAAAAAAH!!!! Trapeze shown right near the big top’s top! Everyone has ridiculously short arms! So how can they get to it?? And if they could because it was right on the top of the cage, they’d just dangle while the cat started chewing from their feet on up. Cats CAN stand on their feet to reach food, you know. So, they’re the ones not even trying this week.

F Minus: hits a homerun today. Somewhere, this either has been tried or will be soon.

FC: I keep looking at this other misshapen child, and honest, all my mind can picture is a centipede with a wig. I don’t know why. There’s something deeply unsettling about her. Her hair is absolutely part of it.

Big Dog: Admittedly, I’v only been in cub scouts for one year (then booted out by never being called back for the new season – rejected from cub scouts stings socially), and it was in French, but has there ever, anywhere, been a rule or a badge for escorting little old ladies across the road? Even the French scouts have this trope.

…the purple one-two punch of Mary Worth and My Cage next to each other is almost enough to make my bile rise out of my throat. Yeek. Unfortunate coincidence.

Mary Worth: if bats :[ doesn’t have panel 2 reworded with “bitch” or “capisce”, I’m ready to not eat chocolate for a week.

My Cage: Emil the emo emu. I can’t tell if that’s so lame a pun to become brilliant, or if it went right to brilliant anyway. And wow! Character development in ONE panel! Beat that, Lynn!

One Big Happy: is this a shout-out to Potato-ade??

Phantom: I swear, the angle and colouring in panel 1 makes it look like the Ghost who walks has a little striped skirt swishing as he climbs the wall. (With no guards in sight; if I were president, I’d be worried about that.)

Pluggers: NO. No no no no. This mode of transportation is VERY prone to being unstable and falling, actually, the opposite of a segway. On the other hand, for once the illustration takes the animal characteristics inherently for the gag.

Rex: every time I think Tim can’t get any creepier…

Sally Forth: is touching a touchy subject that even Arlo & Janis tried to dance around more. Ces, get ready for being dropped from a few papers because of complaints that sex shoudln’t be talked about in the funnies.
UncleJeff
October 20th, 2009 at 11:25 am [Reply]

Hmmm, Dagwood and Mandrake split the atom, creating an uncontrollable chain reaction.
So that’s what happened to Toontown!

Pajama Diaries: brains of Mom splattered all over the floor after argument with sugar-crazed daughter.
commodorejohn
October 20th, 2009 at 11:26 am [Reply]

#71 Sister Sestina – What does octopus taste like, anyway? How’s the texture?
anty a
October 20th, 2009 at 11:27 am [Reply]

Sally Forth: There are a few things in life I just would rather not be privy to, and having to watch Sally initiate a clumsy discussion with Ted about their “love life.” is definitely one of them. Today’s installment is just plain squicky. I don’t want to think about them having a “love life.” EW I THOUGHT ABOUT IT

BTW, has anyone in the history of the world ever initiated a discussion with, “Do you think we have an active love life”? You’d think she would know.
Comcis Fan
October 20th, 2009 at 11:28 am [Reply]

BB: “Cake” being Sarge’s code word for, well, you needn’t ask nor tell.

Dennis: Yes, Dennis, I’m almost to the “licking the spoon” part. Just let me mix in one more egg of questionable purity.

RMMD: Yes Tim, you are a strange man, and if you were my husband I’d be leaving you now. In fact, although it’s pouring outside, this looks like a fine place to pull over and let me out, Tim. Now.

Piranha Club: Is Sarkozy imitating the PBS crocodiles, or are the PBS crocodiles imitating earlier Piranha Clubs?
CanuckDownSouth
October 20th, 2009 at 11:29 am [Reply]

#72-Niall re: scouts. I think that originates with the concept / ideal of Boy Scouts doing a “good deed” every day. It’s certainly an international scout trope.
Will
October 20th, 2009 at 11:49 am [Reply]

Luann: Bite me, Delta.
Écureuil Écumant
October 20th, 2009 at 11:57 am [Reply]

66 commodorejohn says: “A3G – I Dressed In The Dark? What is it, a porno soap opera?”

No, you’re thinking of “I Fucked In The Neiman Marcus Dressing Room”.
TheDiva
October 20th, 2009 at 11:58 am [Reply]

C’shaft: I wonder how many times you have to beat someone with a rake in order to kill them.

FW: A Funky Winkerbean storyline that doesn’t deal with death, depression, or embitterment? I don’t know what to think…

Luann: Wow, usually I have to read a Batiuk strip to get this level of bitter cynicism towards the younger generation.

MW: So the moral of the story is: get engaged right away, or your boyfriend will get shot by drug lords and wind up clinging to life in a badly outfitted ER room. Okay then.
Niall
October 20th, 2009 at 12:03 pm [Reply]

23. agony: invalid comparison. NAQV is a webcomic which can be done the night before. Syndicated strips need at least three weeks in the can. …which may explain why so many of them stink so much.

25. Dr Weird: *blinks, and facepalms* Thank you Toronto, for stigmatising the country again. Also, what’s a “jaybird” lifestyle??

27. Josh: I thought that Garfield pic was familiar!!

70. Victory Garden: yeah, that’s one hell of a deal-breaker.

74. commodorejohn: if cooked right, it’s chewy. If overcooked, it’s rubbery. If it’s fried, it’s often overcooked. If it is left to cool, it gets rubbery. Never get tentacles if it’s not cooked right in front of you or don’t have assurance they will bring it from the kitchen right after being cooked. And you have to eat it immediately.

75. anty a: well, they have a daughter, so it’s not like they never did it before. But you’re correct that the phrasing is extremely awkward.
hogenmogen
October 20th, 2009 at 12:09 pm [Reply]

Marmadick: I was in the Cub Scouts for a while. I never fed an old lady’s arm to a disgusting, drooling, devil dog. I can’t imagine what that badge looks like.
odinthor
October 20th, 2009 at 12:14 pm [Reply]

GT. — Uh-oh. Gil is going to tell Duncan all about the intricacies of getting off. Kids, you better leave the room now.
Sister Sestina
October 20th, 2009 at 12:15 pm [Reply]

commodorejohn @ 74: Taste is quite mild and a little sweet. Texture is firm and it gives resistance; some would say rubbery, but if it’s well done it shouldn’t be like working chewing gum (or even chewing meat), only like your mouth is happy knowing it’s doing its job. Of course it depends a bit how you prepare them; I like it best boiled and served cold with lots of garlic and lemon juice and olive oil, the way Mother made it. (She was from Dalmatia, the coastal part of Croatia; at one point her father made a living out of catching them.)
Sister Sestina
October 20th, 2009 at 12:24 pm [Reply]

Niall @ 81: As to “having” to eat it immediately — I love me some octopus salad which is served cold. But then I like working a good chew. And when you refrigerate it made my Mother’s way it’s swimming in juices that firm up almost to aspic…
Good Lord, now I’m hungry and nostalgic and mournful all at the same time.
hogenmogen
October 20th, 2009 at 12:27 pm [Reply]

I read that link about the science set that allowed kids in the early 50s to perform their own experiments with uranium. Too bad it’s out of circulation. Now I’ll just have to get the set that distills nerve agent VX and conventional plastique explosive for my little ones. Merry Christmas, kids!
bats :[
October 20th, 2009 at 12:38 pm [Reply]

“An Opassom hath an head like a Swine, and a taile like a Rat, and is of the bignes of a Cat. Under her belly she hath a bagge, wherein she lodgeth, carrieth, and sucketh her young.” — John Smith

How can you NOT love a critter like that?
bats :[
October 20th, 2009 at 12:51 pm [Reply]

Huh. Flickr.com’s fluttering this morning. Click on my name for another thrilling installment of Dick Tracy, Tiger Bait!
AhClem
October 20th, 2009 at 12:58 pm [Reply]

#69 Mela -
“Zits: I’m pretty sure those aren’t tears and that she just licked him like a happy Newfoundland.”

I reluctantly Googled “happy Newfoundland” to see if it was a slang expression for some sort of sick, twisted perversion I’d never heard of. Alas, it turned out to be a simple benign reference to the large, slobbering dog breed of the same name.

This place has ruined me.
Jym the Wildlife Man
October 20th, 2009 at 1:26 pm [Reply]

=37= S4th (Farley’s Revenge): Well, then, you don’t want to think about where Sally’s hand is in the first panel of yesterday’s strip, nor why she’s sucking on her now-tasty finger in the second panel.

=41= Garfield (Bryan): I originally thought a “jaybird lifestyle” was a cosplay thing, possibly involving diving into the head of giant cats, but then I saw today’s Curtis.
Chip Whittle
October 20th, 2009 at 1:31 pm [Reply]

Aw, thanks for the float position. I’m honored and it’s got my day started off well.
Marthas Rolling Pin
October 20th, 2009 at 1:52 pm [Reply]

#41 Bryan, The jaybird lifestyle.
anty a
October 20th, 2009 at 2:08 pm [Reply]

#81, Niall:
There’s a difference between a vague assumption that they must’ve had sex at some point because they have a kid and having to witness them having a discussion about how often they “do it” and whether it’s an adequate amount.

I can think of a lot of couples in the comics who have kids and I would just rather not know the details. In fact, I would rather not have to read about any of them having this conversation.

If we have to see Sally making an awkward pass at Ted while looking pathetic in a negligee I’ll go off my feed.
queek
October 20th, 2009 at 10:55 pm [Reply]

93: “If we have to see Ted making an awkward pass at Sally while looking pathetic in a negligee I’ll go off my feed.”

There, fixed that for you. ;-)

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