The Comics Curmudgeon

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When the text won’t stay sub

Beetle Bailey, 10/20/09

Look, Sarge, we all know that you’re excited about the promised repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, and look forward to the day when you will no longer have to use “cake” as a code word for “sodomy.” But sexual couplings of all possible gender combination will still be banned by Army regulations in any facility where food is served. That’s just a hygiene issue.

Apartment 3-G, 10/20/09

OH MY GOD TOMMIE MAKEOVER STORYLINE! We’ve all been calling for Tommie’s character to be remade; now we’ll get to see her be literally made over by fashion professionals. At the end of the process, she’ll look great, but she’ll still be Tommie, so nobody will like her; a valuable and depressing lesson will be learned by all.

Lockhorns, 10/20/09

I’m not sure what’s more likely here: that Loretta has poisoned Leroy and left his putrefying corpse on the couch as a reminder of her ultimate triumph, or that just died peacefully in his sleep, of ennui, and Loretta’s been so emotionally deadened by years of marriage to him that she hasn’t worked up the energy to call the morgue yet.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, October 20, 2009 at 12:41 pm and is filed under Apartment 3-G, Beetle Bailey, Lockhorns.

198 responses to “When the text won’t stay sub”

PeteMoss
October 20th, 2009 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

Cookie’s voice gets sweeter and sweeter…It’s a Man’s Life in the Army!
150
October 20th, 2009 at 12:47 pm [Reply]

Now Greg & Mort Walker are just messing with us.

(I actually lol’d at The Lockhorns, and I can’t tell whether it was an ironic laugh or not.)
giraffe-o
October 20th, 2009 at 12:48 pm [Reply]

A 3-G : The biggest question about Tommie’s makeover : if the artists diverge from her ginger bob, how will the readers (or other characters, for that matter) be able to recognize her??
True Fable
October 20th, 2009 at 12:49 pm [Reply]

“Sarge, do you want some?”

He needed to ask?
PeteMoss
October 20th, 2009 at 12:49 pm [Reply]

Rejected titles for the program now called I Dressed in the Dark:

I Dressed Without Opposable Thumbs
I Dressed While Driving To Work
My Service Dog Dressed Me.
I Dressed Like That Boring Roommate In Apartment 3G
Crazy Funtime Super Fashion Dress-up Glamour Show.
kevinbapp.com
October 20th, 2009 at 12:50 pm [Reply]

I hate to break it to you Josh, but the Lockhorns might be referring to ED, gruesome as the thought may be. I always assumed that it was their sheer hatred of one another that kept the fires burning, but with all their sharp edges, perhaps sex is entirely too painful in any case.
PeteMoss
October 20th, 2009 at 12:54 pm [Reply]

Leroy smells just like his Uncle Carl…after we found Carl hanging in his closet.
One-eyed Wolfdog
October 20th, 2009 at 12:56 pm [Reply]

Tommie: “How did you know that I… uh, I mean, I don’t know what you’re talking about, Ruby.”
Toonhead
October 20th, 2009 at 12:57 pm [Reply]

I didn’t know Sarge was into bears.
kevinbapp.com
October 20th, 2009 at 12:58 pm [Reply]

I realize it’s going to be Tommie getting the makeover, but Ruby’s bows bug the hell out of me. If only she’d get a Lee Grant bob and start popping pills, she’d bed Dr. P in no time.
Jackuul
October 20th, 2009 at 12:59 pm [Reply]

@5:
I dress like Tommie
I dress like I want to die
I dress like I need to escape this cruel world
Rabbits dressing ho’s
Uncle Lumpy
October 20th, 2009 at 1:01 pm [Reply]

Oh ha! Tommie gets a makeover, goading Lu Ann and Margo to upgrade their own wardrobes, and Frank Bolle has to draw up-to-date clothing to serve the plot, like it or not.

Well played, Ms. Shulock — the bracelet’s working!
It's time to pay the price
October 20th, 2009 at 1:05 pm [Reply]

Did Sarge just lift himself and Cookie off the ground with a single hump? That takes some skill.
Jym
October 20th, 2009 at 1:06 pm [Reply]

=v= MT: As of today’s Mark Trail it dawned on me that the two fellows speaking are named Bob and Ray, a talented and well-known comedy duo from whatever era this strip seems to take place in. Which explains Bob’s nifty ventroloquism trick in the first panel of yesterday’s strip.
Victor Prime, the Ghost-Who-Waddles
October 20th, 2009 at 1:16 pm [Reply]

Look, I understand completely that they’re trying to salvage the newspaper comic strip as an artform. I do, really. And I know that comics are getting edgier and less stagnant as a way of combating the creeping doom that threatens to end our way of snark as we know it.

But open depictions of standing man-on-man sodomy in Beetle Bailey? I’m sorry – I appreciate the deep thought that went into this, and I’m as progressive and as forward as the next guy and maybe moreso, but I seriously doubt this is going to fix things. A+ for effort, though.
Naked Bunny with a Whip
October 20th, 2009 at 1:18 pm [Reply]

BB: If you’re in the Army, spend your days semi-shirtless, and call yourself “Cookie”, you have to expect that sort of thing to happen occasionally.
zenvelo
October 20th, 2009 at 1:19 pm [Reply]

# 13 …or lots of practice!
zenvelo
October 20th, 2009 at 1:21 pm [Reply]

#11 I read that first as some kind of Goth four line Haiku…
Calico
October 20th, 2009 at 1:23 pm [Reply]

I thought Ruby would be the one to audition, considering those old fashioned ribbons she feels so compelled to don on her head.
Dragon of Life
October 20th, 2009 at 1:24 pm [Reply]

A closer look at Sarge in panel 2 reveals that today’s comic is, in fact, one of the most massive fart jokes of all time.
Calico
October 20th, 2009 at 1:25 pm [Reply]

Off-topic sorry, but I thought maybe one of you could offer some info.
A friend of mine who is a runner has posted on Twitter that she’d love a “Running Journal” for Xmas (hard copy, not online subsciption).
I’ve looked online but they seems so hard to find-anyone have any ideas about where to look for one of these logs? Thanks! : )
Joe Blevins
October 20th, 2009 at 1:27 pm [Reply]

Tommie looks so distressed in panel 2 because she literally has no idea what to say next. Oh, God, she’s thinking, I’ve never seen that show, but she specifically told me not to say that! Maybe if I just stand here perfectly motionless, she’ll eventually go away. Tommie has basically the same survival strategy for getting through a conversation with Ruby as she does for a grizzly bear attack.
frostee
October 20th, 2009 at 1:27 pm [Reply]

A3-G Unspoken undertones – watching gay men try and make Tommie look: 1) like a woman or 2) attractive to men, would make great reality television.
Amateur
October 20th, 2009 at 1:33 pm [Reply]

A3G: I LOVE the title “I Dressed in the Dark.” Someone call the “What Not to Wear” people and tell ‘em it’s time for a title change!
Sequitur
October 20th, 2009 at 1:34 pm [Reply]

I don’t know Calico (@21). It probably won’t help you but this came to mind.
Sue D. Nymme
October 20th, 2009 at 1:35 pm [Reply]

Beetle Bailey: Ew ew ew ew ew!
frostee
October 20th, 2009 at 1:37 pm [Reply]

@calico . . .
http://www.runalogs.com/

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1448640083

http://www.amazon.com/2009-Training-Log-Phil-Kasunick/dp/0615240860/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1256060125&sr=1-2

http://www.amazon.com/Running-Log-April-Powers/dp/0811837017/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1256060125&sr=1-3

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_ss?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=running+log&x=0&y=0

those are mostly amazon links but you can find these type of books at local bookstores or other places online
Digger
October 20th, 2009 at 1:38 pm [Reply]

So is Tommie going to start sporting a more modern hairdo, like the beehive?

BB: I see that in panel one, Sarge has a fork in his right hand. We can’t see his right hand in panel two, but I can only hope he dropped the fork before rushing over to hit Cookie with a dry hump that sent both their hats flying off.
AhClem
October 20th, 2009 at 1:38 pm [Reply]

#21 Calico – Minnesota Distance Running Association (www.runmdra.org) publishes an annual race calendar and diary. The calendar portion is focused on Minnesota and other nearby events, but the diary/log part is non-specific. If you’re interested, I can copy and send you a couple of pages to see if it’s what you’re looking for. Contact me off-blog: jmf (squiggly-a-thing) visi (tiny round black thing) com.
SheWeirdly
October 20th, 2009 at 1:39 pm [Reply]

Ok . . . . look at Ruby. Look at her. Her favorite show is a makeover show, focusing on people with bad style, and . . . she takes nothing away from this, obviously. There is something deliciously ironic about Ruby signing anyone up for a makeover.
Sequitur
October 20th, 2009 at 1:39 pm [Reply]

One Big Happy has a companion for Potatoade™.
Chris F.
October 20th, 2009 at 1:41 pm [Reply]

#21 Calico . . . dozens out there, do a search for “running log” or “training log”
Muffaroo
October 20th, 2009 at 1:43 pm [Reply]

Naked Bunny @16 – Spot-on, NB!

Mary – It’s because Mary delayed meddling for so long that she’s now rushing so hard to Meddlegasm. She’s even using her hand, when normally all she needs is her rock-hard aphorisms and platitudes of steel. Don’t say a word, now, Adrian, she sweetly cautions her current victim. If you interrupt me, I’ll snap your neck like the tail on a day-old butterfly shrimp at the Bum Boat.
Master Mahan
October 20th, 2009 at 1:46 pm [Reply]

Cake and sodomy? I had no idea Sarge was a Marilyn Manson fan.
Calico
October 20th, 2009 at 1:48 pm [Reply]

#28, 31 – Thank you!
I’ve tried various searches on Google so will keep looking, and I’ll e-mail you a bit later AhClem! : )
Sometimes we like the good ol’ visceral sense of having paper and pen in hand…!
Calico
October 20th, 2009 at 1:50 pm [Reply]

#32 – She also seems to have grown a sixth digit on her right hand.
God, this woman unnerves me.
Marthas Rolling Pin
October 20th, 2009 at 1:54 pm [Reply]

Bryan, y41, The jaybird lifestyle revealed.
Baka Gaijin
October 20th, 2009 at 1:58 pm [Reply]

#5 PeteMoss: “Crazy Funtime Super Fashion Dress-up Glamour Show” is on NHK at 3 pm. Difference is, the women are men except for one and the audience guesses who’s the woman. Or who’s the most womanly-looking man. It’s hard to tell what’s going on except for the transvestites. I know there were transvestites.

ChattyGenes, does this show sound familiar?
Farley's Revenge
October 20th, 2009 at 2:02 pm [Reply]

YT#90Jym the Wildlife Man:

=37= S4th (Farley’s Revenge): Well, then, you don’t want to think about where Sally’s hand is in the first panel of yesterday’s strip, nor why she’s sucking on her now-tasty finger in the second panel.

*fingers in ears*

Lalalala…Can’t hear you discussing how Sally may be getting her jollies these days. Nope, can’t hear a thing. Lalalala…
Alan's Addiction
October 20th, 2009 at 2:02 pm [Reply]

Given that Sarge leapt on that cook before he even knew what was being offered, I’d say that there’s some sort of sexual harassment lawsuit in the offing. Also, why does the cook have hairs growing out of his upper bicep? That seems highly unsanitary to me, not to mention freakish. Hairnets for the head is one thing, hairnets for your upper arms is frightening. I can only pray that this guy doesn’t have to shave his palms before duty.
I’m hoping that Tommie will get a makeover, but only if it teaches her some new facial expressions. Her current repertoire is “ennuie,” “blank,” and “bored.” I’d like to see her move into the area of “happy” and/or “sad,” if only for some variety.
It’s terrifying, but I noticed today that Leroy Lockhorn’s feet are at least as long as his legs. Given these freakish new proportions (ultra short legs, rotund shape, giant nose, etc.), I can only assume that Leroy is secretly The Penguin. This can only improve the comic, as repeated guest appearances by Batman, increased explosions, and testing the latest umbrella-weapon on Loretta have vast entertainment potential.
Li’l Bunnë FooFoo
October 20th, 2009 at 2:02 pm [Reply]

Beetle Bailey is just too rich and ripe for words today. I seriously can’t think of anything to say that would be funnier than their expressions in panel 2.

I wonder, does anyone look at this comic today and not think “surprise sodomy”?
Baka Gaijin
October 20th, 2009 at 2:07 pm [Reply]

#41 Li’l Bunne FooFoo: Ha ha! Surprise sodomy to go with Rex Morgan’s drive-by prostate exam on table 1.
Joe Btfsplk
October 20th, 2009 at 2:09 pm [Reply]

“I Dressed in the Dark” isn’t enough to help Tommie. “I Dressed in the Dark Ages” is more like what she needs.
Canaduck
October 20th, 2009 at 2:09 pm [Reply]

Heh, nice one, #34.
Farley's Revenge
October 20th, 2009 at 2:10 pm [Reply]

BB: Sarge latched on to Cookie so hard and fast that it knocked them both off their feet and sent their hats flying yet somehow Sarge managed to hold on to his plate. Is that his way of telling Cookie that yeah, he expects seconds as well?

Gotta say, this gives a whole new meaning to eating in the chow hall.
cj
October 20th, 2009 at 2:11 pm [Reply]

Lockhorns:

Josh, thanks to Multiverse Theory,you don’t have to choose.

Butthole Bailey:

Within the american anime fandom, a sudden run-and-hug maneuver is called a “glomp.” So what would a sudden-run-and-dryhump be? Sex + charge = “sarge” Hunh, there it is.
Patrick
October 20th, 2009 at 2:15 pm [Reply]

After Tommie gets her makeover on I Dressed In the Dark, she’ll be ready to co-star in Margo’s new reality series, I Really Deserve a Punch In the Throat.
dr.giraud
October 20th, 2009 at 2:17 pm [Reply]

I guess I thought Ruby would get the makeover, so she can lure the Prof away from pill-poppin’ Bobbie.

What on Earth can they do with Tommie?
Johnny Knuckles
October 20th, 2009 at 2:17 pm [Reply]

BB: In the last panel try not to think of Sarge wiping off on the back of Cookie’s wife beater. Go ahead. Try not to think of it.
AirForbes
October 20th, 2009 at 2:18 pm [Reply]

How are the producers of “I dressed in the dark” ever going to get Tommie’s bobbling head to hold still long enough to give her a makeover?
Artist formerly known as Ben
October 20th, 2009 at 2:18 pm [Reply]

A3G: “I Dressed In the Dark” sounds like it’s right up Margo’s alley. She routinely dresses in the dark so last night’s anonymous sex partner won’t wake up and want to cuddle. Got it down to a science, she has.

Luann: ACORN THUGS THEATEN TEENS WOTH POINTY SITCKS!!!

9CL: Yes, Brooke actually went there, and I think that deserves recognition. Congratulations on tripping over the cheapest possible gag.

MC: Oh dear. Outside World Ashley just doesn’t have the same survival skills as Office Ashley.

S4th: The time of year has come for Sally to complain about not getting enough dick. Hil must have her iPod cranked up to earbleed levels.

Momma: Francis is excited because the secretary is running out of body parts to post things on. Of course if she uses thumb tacks instead of tape, he’s out of there.

M-Dawg: “As to what happens to the old ladies when they’re across the street, we don’t know and we don’t want to know.”

Baldo: I think Papi will be very interested to know that his son is webcam-chatting with a hybrid of Yenny and Aeon Flux. Yes, things should start to pop when he finds out.

MW: “Are you kidding me girlfriend? This way you go straight to widowhood. Take it from Mary, dead husbands are awesome.”

H&L: After 55 years, Dawg finally gets a line. Should have switched agents decades ago. (Sure, you may be able to search through the archives and find other examples of Dawg thought balloons. It’s a joke, people.)

FC: “Speaking of whom, you’re not my older brother wearing a skirt, are you? Just checking.”
Artist formerly known as Ben
October 20th, 2009 at 2:26 pm [Reply]

y87 bats:[,
I don’t know if other mudges have this problem, but when I go to your site, the navigation menu covers up the rightmost section of the comics. Anyway to get around this?
Cranky
October 20th, 2009 at 2:27 pm [Reply]

I also said “oh my god tommie makeover storyline.” That’s not a type or bad HTML – mine was definitely all lowercase.
Ed Dravecky
October 20th, 2009 at 2:27 pm [Reply]

Tommie needs the more intensive makeover offered by I Will Die Alone Then Be Eaten By My Dozens Of Cats.
Shlomo
October 20th, 2009 at 2:38 pm [Reply]

I am not sure what is more disgusting. Sarge and Cookie together, or the fact that Sarge farts when he climaxes.

Lockhorns- Judging from the bulge in Leroy’s pants, it looks like rigor mortis has set in.
Uncle Lumpy
October 20th, 2009 at 2:38 pm [Reply]

#52 AfkaB –

That’s usually a symptom of overactive AdBlock Plus in Firefox stepping on one or more fake “images” used to bring the formatting to heel. Try turning off AdBlock for the page — if the problem goes away, reinstate the blocks one by one to find the culprits. Then leave those unblocked.
Steve S
October 20th, 2009 at 2:40 pm [Reply]

I was going to complain about having Tommie play dumb so that Ruby could dump out her expository dialogue for the readers, who would understand “I Dressed in the Dark” based on Ruby’s first statement anyway. Then I realized Tommie really is that clueless, so it’s actually in character.
Mac
October 20th, 2009 at 2:42 pm [Reply]

Cookie and Sarge appear to be identical twins, distinguishable by stubble, costume, and tattoo only. (Sarge’s says “SS + BB 4EVA”.) So we’re getting into a whole weird area here.
BigTed
October 20th, 2009 at 2:42 pm [Reply]

Who knew the heart tattooed on Cookie’s arm was really a tramp stamp?
Dingo
October 20th, 2009 at 2:55 pm [Reply]

I’m imagining a film by Ingmar Bergman in which the lonely camp cook, Cookie, has discerned the love between Sarge and Beetle and continuely gets Beetle put in his charge peeling potatoes so that he can cajole the young man into spilling his secrets about their love. Each night, he devises a menu to show Sarge how much he loves him and each night he must watch as Sarge and Beetle eat together and then engage in fisticuffs foreplay. Finally, after a night of sipping vodka and watching the shadow of a fork move slowly through the light of the moon, Cookie bakes a cake for Sarge. Sarge is immediately smitten and sodomizes Cookie in the mess hall. Beetle sees and drowns himself in an icy river.
Dingo
October 20th, 2009 at 2:56 pm [Reply]

continually

I have my days.
Calico
October 20th, 2009 at 2:57 pm [Reply]

#25 – Thank you as well. Missed your post – spacy Tuesday! : )
Calico
October 20th, 2009 at 2:58 pm [Reply]

#25, again – she wants all the chart and date thngys printed already, but I see your point!
Pencils still rock, IMO.
Comcis Fan
October 20th, 2009 at 3:11 pm [Reply]

Sarge’s encounter with Cookie has me trying not to think about the “having your cake and eating it too” expression.
Chip Whittle
October 20th, 2009 at 3:14 pm [Reply]

Somehow in all the talk about Beetle Bailey people have overlooked Billy in the Family Circus exploring his feeling that he’s really a girl trapped in a boy’s body. I applaud Dolly for helping Billie explore life in this different persona.

The Phantom: In the wake of the day’s terrorist attack I admire President Lamanda’s decision not to alter his open-window-for-people-who-sneak-past-the-security-cordon-under-cover-of-darkness policy. It’s important even in crisis to keep in touch with your quasi-colonialist constituents in stripey pajamas.

The Other Coast takes a giddy little look at the lighter side of … white supremacist organizations. How did Tom Batiuk not get to this topic first?

I didn’t know Stephen Pastis was helping Two Cows And A Chicken through its current doughnut theft story line. Good for them.
Gabacho
October 20th, 2009 at 3:15 pm [Reply]

Apt 3G – I hope it’s Ruby gets the makeover. Stupid bows and beauty parlor hair win her the prize for “I Dressed In the Park”, which I guess would be a different show than the one Tommie will wind up on. I like Tommie’s look and don’t want her to change. If it was good enough for Charles Bush in “Die, Mommy, Die”, it’s good enough for Tommie in “Die, Everybody’s Boyfriend But Tommie’s, Die”

Beetle Bailey – hmmm, cake and bears and identifical twins.
PeteMoss
October 20th, 2009 at 3:17 pm [Reply]

MT – Second cameo appearance by special guest star- O’Possum. He’s quickly become an reader favorite and may soon reveal how that man who is supposed to be dead is able to shake hands with Bob and whether he’s a wildlife man…but only after pretending to be dead while farting. Take that, Ray!
tb4000
October 20th, 2009 at 3:18 pm [Reply]

A3G: Tommie is still watching reruns of Mary Tyler Moore and That Girl due to her Brady Bunch Movie-esque time freeze of a life, so no Mom, she does not know what the fuck that show is.
tb4000
October 20th, 2009 at 3:19 pm [Reply]

BB: Cookie is definitely a bear.
bats :[
October 20th, 2009 at 3:22 pm [Reply]

There’s nothing that can pep up a trailing plot like a few guest shots…
PeteMoss
October 20th, 2009 at 3:23 pm [Reply]

MW – In panel 2, Mary is re-inacting that scene from Airplane! where Barbara Billingsly starts slaping the hell out of some hysterical female passenger.
PeteMoss
October 20th, 2009 at 3:24 pm [Reply]

re-enacting? re-anacting? hell…you know what I mean.
Larry Fine
October 20th, 2009 at 3:25 pm [Reply]

BB — After jumping Cookie’s bones like that, the least you could do is give him a reacharound, Sarge.
Larry Fine
October 20th, 2009 at 3:32 pm [Reply]

MT — “Sorry, pal, you can’t just back out when you feel like it…we need you to come along and contribute absolutely nothing to the poaching operation except saying things like, ‘I hope we don’t get caught.’”
gleeb
October 20th, 2009 at 3:43 pm [Reply]

Before throwing around the name “Cookie” in comics-land, you’ve got to be sure if you’re in Beetle Bailey or Blondie.
Niall
October 20th, 2009 at 3:57 pm [Reply]

51. Artist formerly known as Ben: I do indeed think that the dichotomy between Office Ashley and Dating Scene Ashley is part of her personality. Which made her move of ditching her boyfriend and actually getting up the nerve of almost asking Norm out be one of maturation, and now she’s sliding right back down.

64. Comcis Fan: I guess one of those cake must be a lie. (Yes, I went there.)

75. gleeb speaking of which, the Dagwood Splits the Atom book in yesterthread made me wonder: what happened to Cookie’s cubs??

Click my name for all the lowdown with links of the recent Animation Festival in town.
mr 12 oz can
October 20th, 2009 at 4:01 pm [Reply]

where is the other sideburner ??? perhaps getting it on with mary???why hant rusty taken a picture of these guys doesnt he need another 500 dollars . unansewered riddles for sure
Alfred E. Neuman
October 20th, 2009 at 4:18 pm [Reply]

Fellow Curmudgeons, here’s a hint for expediting your reading of the comics this week: As soon as you see the word “volunteer” or any variation thereof in a strip, stop reading, and go on to the next strip. You will not have missed anything.
Pozzo
October 20th, 2009 at 4:25 pm [Reply]

Killer, for his part, is waiting for Miss Buxley to offer him some pie.
Zamboni_Rodeo
October 20th, 2009 at 4:29 pm [Reply]

#42, Baka Gaijin, re: drive-by prostate exams:

I know my presence around here lately has been spotty at best, but you have no idea how surprised I was when I clicked your link and discovered that I got a COTW. Somehow that escaped my notice the first time around, and this is literally the first time I saw that metapost. I got all warm and fuzzy — it was most un-Margo-like. I only wish I had seen it and been able to acknowledge it at the time. I’m humbled.
Chris F.
October 20th, 2009 at 4:57 pm [Reply]

#75 Not in Beetle Bailey or Blondie, Sarge was in Cookie.
Violet
October 20th, 2009 at 4:59 pm [Reply]

A3-G: I can’t imagine why they don’t just go ahead and rename the whole strip I Dressed in the Dark.
Baka Gaijin
October 20th, 2009 at 5:08 pm [Reply]

#80 Zamboni_Rodeo: Great! You finally found about your greatness. I love that phrase.
Fashion Police
October 20th, 2009 at 5:16 pm [Reply]

Isn’t it ironic that Miss Ruby, she of the mauve bathrobe and matching hair-ribbon (and we have no doubt that she is capable of tying bows just so in the dark; a gentleman of our acquaintance is quite good at tying bow ties without looking in a mirror), introduces the concept of a makeover on a day when Miss Thompson is more daring and original than she’s been in decades. We cannot in good conscience recommend Miss Thompson’s outfit, as we don’t actually know what it is: a coat perhaps? Or a jacket, or even a blouse resurrected from 1958. In any case, we are most pleased to see her in something other than scrubs or drab buttoned-up polo shirts. Electric blue is quite a shocking departure for her.

Although we ourselves are partial to the buttoned-up look, it does require care and a bit of stylish adventurism; it is not for everyone. Miss Magee’s stiff-collared primness, for example, subtly and effectively expresses her tightly-controlled rage. Miss Thompson, so long lost in the swamp, needs a lighter, more playful exterior. She shoud at least show a bit of the collarbone. We do remember the glamorous, sophisticated creature Abigail Thompson used to be.

We agree with #12 Uncle Lumpy that Ms. Shuloch is up to something. Mr. Lumpy displays his usual incisiveness in speculating that she’s attempting to influence Frank Bolle’s drawing style.

One suspects that Miss Ruby will be the one taking the first step toward dressing in the light. She still has her cap set for the Professor, and suffers from the slight inflicted by the blowsy but comparatively stylish Mrs. Merrill.
Écureuil Écumant
October 20th, 2009 at 5:19 pm [Reply]

Phantom: “With love’s light wings did I o’er-perch these walls; for stony limits cannot hold love out, and what love can do, that dares love attempt..”

Or in two words, boo-tay call.
Calico
October 20th, 2009 at 5:24 pm [Reply]

#84 – Did you notice that today’s FC features a young and pudgy Bobbie Merrill?

I was so hoping you would comment on this new makeover plot “twist.”
Calico
October 20th, 2009 at 5:28 pm [Reply]

#27 – Wow, thanks to you too!
Awesome links.
gnome de blog
October 20th, 2009 at 5:30 pm [Reply]

Tommie will go for the makeover to win Margo back from Lu Ann.

In other news, is Henry Sarber Woody Wilson’s send-up of Tom Batiuk?
Jamus the Bartender
October 20th, 2009 at 5:32 pm [Reply]

My Cage: ASHLEY, NOOOOO…..
buckyswife
October 20th, 2009 at 5:37 pm [Reply]

76 Niall, re: animation: I couldn’t help but watch No Room for Gerold and think of the current Mark Trail plot; poor, downtrodden ‘gators can’t get a break, even in a roommate situation. They’re the Bob Jacksons of the reptile world!
Rocketboy
October 20th, 2009 at 5:40 pm [Reply]

I hope they realize that if Tommie gets a makeover, they’ll have to learn how to draw new clothes.
DamienBixlan
October 20th, 2009 at 6:07 pm [Reply]

Beetle Bailey: Also, Sarge, the cook is your twin brother. Except that his ears turned into buttcracks after a terrifying radioactive incident that I do not dare to explain. DOES ANYONE THINK OF THE CHILDREN???
Mom
October 20th, 2009 at 6:10 pm [Reply]

MW: Hmmm…it seems that good Dr. Jeff has removed the breathing tube from Scott’s nose. Does this mean he’s better or Jeff is making sure he doesn’t “stay”?
teddytoad
October 20th, 2009 at 6:13 pm [Reply]

#60 – That’s actually one of the lesser known Mussorgsky operas.

This is why I need Josh to read the comics for me: I Dressed in the Dark first sounded to me like a very moody and perplexing soap opera, one in which each episode opens with a different woman easing herself out of her husband/lover/cook’s bed, with a jaundiced expression of unfulfilled desire, and dressing in the dark, so to then step out on the balcony with a glass of wine and a cigarette, and murmur to herself how empty she feels.

In unrelated news, I heard that word association tests are totally junk science.
zerowolf
October 20th, 2009 at 6:17 pm [Reply]

Mary Worth: Boldly going where Funky Winkerbean only teases: Necrophilia
buckyswife
October 20th, 2009 at 6:22 pm [Reply]

90, me: Given the roommate connection, a better analogy: ‘Gators are the Tommie Thompsons of the reptile world.
Aviatrix
October 20th, 2009 at 6:24 pm [Reply]

I can only echo others in saying that yes, I Dressed in the Dark is the perfect makeover show title and that no, I cannot conceive of anyone reading Beetle Bailey and seeing merely a man who is enthusiastic about an opportunity to eat cake.

Claims that children only see the dolphins seem to be false.
junk science
October 20th, 2009 at 6:27 pm [Reply]

I didn’t know Sarge was into bears.

Let alone bears who let him top.
Muffaroo
October 20th, 2009 at 6:37 pm [Reply]

Cookie doesn’t understand your hostility toward him.
gnome de blog
October 20th, 2009 at 6:46 pm [Reply]

There is now a viable population of wild pythons in Florida, mostly the offspring of animals escaped from exotic pet dealers after hurricanes. They have probably Markk Trail’s fishing swamp. If Bob and Ray and Wally Ballou branch out a little we could have a nicely cross-pollinated story about the moral conflicts of poaching invasive species, plus a python-on-gator smackdown (there’s a documented case; both died).

Don’t worry Rusty – you’re too ugly for python bait.
Bryan
October 20th, 2009 at 6:47 pm [Reply]

Does anyone think that Mrs. Phantom is really dead? This is a daily comic strip which means that no main characters can ever die, Lisa Moore excepted. But a building did fall on her, which is kind of hard to survive unless the author resorts to Republic serial levels of ass-pulling.
If she really is dead expect, “Kids, meet your new mommy, the captain of the India Voyager II!”
Anonymous
October 20th, 2009 at 6:50 pm [Reply]

A3G – They apparently decorate in the dark, too.
mr 12 oz can
October 20th, 2009 at 6:51 pm [Reply]

is becka wearing a skirt because im almost certain tim the creep adjusted the rear view mirror at a odd angle to catch a beaver shot. by the way where are the other nursing home staff suppose to be looking for the 2 seniles ??? maybe there checking the putt putt courses.
feraljane
October 20th, 2009 at 6:51 pm [Reply]

Loretta is celebrating the happiest day in her decades of married life – Leroy’s death – by shopping with a girlfriend. Plenty of time to call the funeral home after she’s spent Leroy’s porn allowance (no longer needed) on a black-leather bustier. Go Loretta!
buckyswife
October 20th, 2009 at 6:55 pm [Reply]

97 Aviatrix: What dolphins?
bats :[
October 20th, 2009 at 6:57 pm [Reply]

80. Zamboni_Rodeo! For no particular reason (other than it made ME feel a whole lot better), this one’s for you!
Uncle Lumpy
October 20th, 2009 at 7:05 pm [Reply]

Jaded I may be, but I draw the line at tormenting children with myths of dolphins.
bats :[
October 20th, 2009 at 7:18 pm [Reply]

52. AFKAB: click the right button on your mouse and then click on “View Image”. It usually makes the image a little larger, too.

It’s annoying, I know.
CanuckDownSouth
October 20th, 2009 at 7:23 pm [Reply]

#101-Bryan … um, you mean it wasn’t so-obvious-as-to-not-be-worth-saying that the Python’s guys kidnapped Diana and blew up the building to cover their tracks / cause pain to be compounded when strpey-butt is confronted with her true fate?
gnome de blog
October 20th, 2009 at 7:33 pm [Reply]

#109

The solution to the Python problem was at hand when the Phantom and Guran nursed him back to health. They could have mixed a stiff does of Bandar Medicine in with his medication. He would have forgotten he was a terrorist and gone away quietly.

Unless Bandar Medicine only works on ~~women~~ Teutonic Nazi archaeologists, I’m really disappointed the new authors didn’t think of it. I’m really disappointed I didn’t think of it either.
Laocoon
October 20th, 2009 at 7:47 pm [Reply]

BB: Is he growing a beard on his arm?….I’ve gotta try that.
Citric
October 20th, 2009 at 8:23 pm [Reply]

I would’ve pegged 9CL as the first comic to put sodomy on the funny pages, not BB.
Écureuil Écumant
October 20th, 2009 at 8:31 pm [Reply]

“On the other hand, adult’s mind is rather ‘corrupted’ so adult person may have problems spoting 9 dolphins at first eye glaze.”

97, 105: Indeed, maybe it’s just that our suddenly glazed eyes are the problem. Dolphins? Me, I can only see tuna.
Masky McCoon
October 20th, 2009 at 8:41 pm [Reply]

Bumbling humans! Do not interfere with covert ops currently being conducted nationwide by the Racoon Patrol! This will be your only warning!
Écureuil Écumant
October 20th, 2009 at 8:47 pm [Reply]

112 Citric: “Pegged” — an apropos choice of words.
Ukulele Ike
October 20th, 2009 at 9:12 pm [Reply]

We are waiting anxiously to hear what Fashion Police thinks of Len’s new hat in Edge City.

But, more importantly, Yenny’s outfit in this week’s Baldo.

Also, what Hot Secretary SHOULD be wearing in Judge Parker. Instead of that bland whatever. What DO Hot Secretarys wear these days?
buckyswife
October 20th, 2009 at 9:19 pm [Reply]

116 Ukulele Ike, re: the Hot Secretary: Have you seen Gloria when she’s not behind a desk, such the recent “let me get you your coffee…. or a lap dance” panels? That outfit doesn’t leave much to the imagination; I think she’s shopping from the same ~~paint~~ clothing store as Abbey.

(And yes, this comment helps to explain why I can’t see the damned dolphins.)
True Fable
October 20th, 2009 at 9:28 pm [Reply]

The Least I Could Do is today’s GOAT! sighting!

And a Ninja goat, at that!
Ukulele Ike
October 20th, 2009 at 9:31 pm [Reply]

buckyswife: After so many days of Brushcut McExposition and his fascinating discussion with Sam, I can barely remember what Gloria looks like when she’s not sitting behind a desk.
Poteet
October 20th, 2009 at 9:42 pm [Reply]

# 100 gnome de blog — There is no moral conflict about killing invasive exotic ecologically-destructive pythons that threaten endangered species like the Key Deer. Kill the pythons! Kill! Kill!

Um, sorry about that. I’ll shut up and go eat some chocolate now.
Poteet
October 20th, 2009 at 9:46 pm [Reply]

# 120 — And a lot of those pythons are former pets released by irresponsible idiots.

Okay, I really am done now.
NoahSnark
October 20th, 2009 at 10:10 pm [Reply]

Given the general tone of the Lockhorns, I am sure Loretta is talking about her husband’s inability to perform within normal sexual parameters. Which is a clear case of cruelty on the comic page as the thought of Leroy’s magical trouser snake winking in the night is horrifying enough to cause a flaccid wave to wash over the newspaper readers of America.
survivor
October 20th, 2009 at 10:31 pm [Reply]

Tommie needs to be made over into a suicidegirl. May the suicide be successful.
MolyBendum
October 20th, 2009 at 10:34 pm [Reply]

Cartoonists Roaming the Desert (a meta-comment)
Some cartoonists came out to visit here yesterday, stayed for a couple hours and we got to sit down with one of our choosing and talk to them and they sketched out a little drawing while you talked.
Tom Richmond is a helluvan artist and has mad caricature skills (yes, haha, pun). I mean, you see it in the magazine, but when you watch him whip off a funny, accurate drawing in less than five minutes, you just say wow.
Gary Trudeau is a nice guy, and regardless what you think of his politics has absolutely genuine concern and interest in soldiers and the crap they put up with. I knew this already, but it’s different to see it up close and listen to how he talks with them.
Jeff Keane I didn’t really bother to get close enough to see anything he did. He had the longest line of people waiting to see him, but then a lot of people were there saying they were getting something for their kids. I guess they don’t like their kids.
I (of course) went to Stephan Pastis’ line and got to talk to him for about 5 minutes while he sketched out Rat and Pig standing there. They had obviously been briefed not to expect people to be familiar with their work, and I had to reassure him I knew who he was. I said I was from OK and he bitched about being dropped in Tulsa. He congratulated me on being raised around the Buffalo area, as they still carry his strip. I won’t bore you with any other details, but he did say that in December Rat will be fucking with Ziggy and that he’s talked to Tom Wilson and there will be a coordinated strip to culminate the storyline (pants!).
Aviatrix
October 20th, 2009 at 10:43 pm [Reply]

Wow, cool Moly. Thanks for letting us know.

I’m kind of surprised that kids read Family Circus, though. I thought it was for grandmothers. I’m also trying to imagine any of the desert experience turning up in an FC strip.
Rusty
October 20th, 2009 at 11:03 pm [Reply]

124: Loved the line about parents not liking their kids.

A3G: Any makeover show starring a comic version Stacy London is a must-see in my mind. Grrrr.
kurtthecomicreader
October 21st, 2009 at 12:19 am [Reply]

MT:…and once again its thought balloons show minds have switched as Rusty talks through Mark to his now vacated body.
What planet is this strip’s dialog ballooned from?
Tim Cavanaugh
October 21st, 2009 at 12:21 am [Reply]

Reveal: “I Dressed In the Dark” will turn out not to be a makeover show. It’s a hard-hitting documentary about street people, and the producers have been humoring Ruby in the belief that she is queen of the hobos.
sugarpie
October 21st, 2009 at 12:26 am [Reply]

MolyBendum, 124 Wow. Thanks for the update. How great is that!

I’m not much of a Family Circus follower since The Dysfunctional Family Circus site said it all years ago, but big props to Keane for making the trip. Pastis and Wilson? Teaming up? End of Days.
gnome de blog
October 21st, 2009 at 12:29 am [Reply]

126 Rusty – not if Frank Bolle is drawing it. Remember – Tommie, Margo and Lu Ann used to be pretty grrr themselves.

120, 121 Poteet – point taken. However, I was wondering how the subject would be treated in Mark Trail, where poaching – i.e. hunting without the Duly Authorized Permission of the Authorities – runs up against the items you mentioned.

The article I read some weeks ago stated that wildlife authorities in Florida have conceded that the python population is established and probably expanding their range. They’re here to stay.
Uncle Lumpy
October 21st, 2009 at 12:50 am [Reply]

#130 gdb –

Frank Bolle’s still got his chops. Every once in a while he turns out a really stunning Margo, a beautifully-framed pas de deux with Tommie, or a compelling night or street scene — especially when seen at larger scale.

I think it’s just demoralizing to work on the bitsy scale and reduced color gamut the papers give you now. Here’s Bill Watterson on the subject:

. . . comic strips are being printed at such a ridiculous size that elimination of dialogue and linework is almost a necessity and you just can’t get that kind of depth. I think of Pogo, another strip that had tremendous dialogue and fantastic backgrounds…Those strips were just complete worlds that the reader would be sucked into. For a few moments a day we could live in Coconino County; the whole thing was entirely there. The dialogue was part of it, the backgrounds were part of it, the characters were off-beat…and you need a little space and time to develop that sort of thing. I know for a fact that nobody’s doing it now and I don’t know that anybody will do it.
Poteet
October 21st, 2009 at 12:56 am [Reply]

# 130 gnome de blog — Point taken here too. I strongly suspect, however, that pythons in Florida are like starlings in Iowa, meaning they are unprotected because they are harmful invasive exotics. Native birds are protected here, but anyone who wants to kill starlings is free and welcome to do so.

The python situation in Florida is now much worse than I had realized, per below.

http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2009/09/090911-pythons-florida-giant-snakes.html
KarMann
October 21st, 2009 at 1:03 am [Reply]

10/21: 9CL: I guess it’s Brookin’s turn to call the Mudges out!
KarMann
October 21st, 2009 at 1:04 am [Reply]

Err… Brooke’s… McEldowney’s… whatever.
Poteet
October 21st, 2009 at 1:07 am [Reply]

10/21 9CL — Oh no. Brooke hates me. That will keep me awake tonight.
Lisa
October 21st, 2009 at 1:13 am [Reply]

So who pissed in Brooke’s cornflakes? (See Wed. 9CL strip)
Poteet
October 21st, 2009 at 1:28 am [Reply]

10/20 MT — And in Panel One, a whole new level of insanity is achieved.
KarMann
October 21st, 2009 at 1:30 am [Reply]

10/21 cont’d:
Crankshaft for the rest of the week: ur doin it rong. You can skip the rest of the week now. You’re welcome.
DT: When did Fee Fi stop holding the tiger’s tail between cage bars, and start holding it between someone’s buttocks?
H&L: Trixie seems to be having an identity crisis, confusing her self with Marvin.
MT: I think that blow to the head may have had more lingering aftereffects than Mark expected. He should probably get himself to SanRoyHospital, ASAP. Speaking of which…
MW: Oh, I think he could live with that, Adrian. Or not live with it. As the case may be.
PBS: Some of my friends and I like to refer to Google as The Oracle, and Wikipedia as The Other Oracle.
Slylock: After the recent comments here, I think we can easily add “python” to that list.
Tiger has decided to jump on the “ur doin it rong” bandwagon for the day, too, it seems.
Poteet
October 21st, 2009 at 1:41 am [Reply]

10/21 ReFoob — What is the big effin’ deal about taking a night class?
Uncle Lumpy
October 21st, 2009 at 1:53 am [Reply]

#138 KarMann wrote –

DT: When did Fee Fi stop holding the tiger’s tail between cage bars, and start holding it between someone’s buttocks?

In his late teens, after much soul-searching and furtive experimentation.
Jackuul
October 21st, 2009 at 1:55 am [Reply]

#139: In FoobRe taking a dump at night is a big deal… Actually I think every mundane thing is a big deal. “I just got Herpes!” is then followed by a month long conversation.
Uncle Lumpy
October 21st, 2009 at 1:56 am [Reply]

Herpes is a big step. Are you sure you’re ready?
Joe Btfsplk
October 21st, 2009 at 2:01 am [Reply]

Wednesday Mark Trail – We’ve come to expect and even enjoy the usual talking giant animal panels, but come on, you’ve got two people on opposite sides of a frame and you can’t point the balloon at the right one? This is the second time this week. Today, Mark apparently mistakes Rusty’s disturbingly enlarged head for his own reflection.

We can see what looks like the stump of an original balloon-stem which may have been chopped off and repositioned but not flipped as it should have been. I know Elrod is like 85 years old, and I’m not entirely comfortable ripping too hard on him. Maybe he could use some help, though, just to fix things like this, or different help if he has someone already.
Mibbitmaker
October 21st, 2009 at 2:01 am [Reply]

10/21 of volunteering to snark comics week:

9CL: Thorax calling his critics (here?) “imbeciles” is like Nixon & Agnew complaining about the youth of their time not respecting “law and order”.

A3G: “I got a better idea, Ruby: I’ll go fly a balloon and you go hide in a box in the attic.”

Blondie: Dagwood is a fat joke without the fat.

FC: CartoonThel is resigned to the fact that her son is an idiot.

FW: Please, Tom, for the love of God, keep the strip like this!! (notice I didn’t say “Batty”?)

MT: I don’t know whether to mock the hell out of this bizarre speech balloon oopsie (AGAIN!), or sincerely worry about Jack Elrod’s health. Or maybe he’s just funnin’ with us here, in which case: Well played, sir, well played!

MW: Well, hopefully Scott will live long enough to hear Adrian tell him she will marry him before he dies and she can’t marry him. What a lovely couple, huh?

SFx: Knowing me, I’d have them all be “potrzebie.”
bats :[
October 21st, 2009 at 2:03 am [Reply]

Some Humpday observations:

9CL: ooooh, zinga-zinga-zing! (you know, I don’t think anyone’s ever dissed Solange, and lots of folks like Seth and Mark, too)

MT: and what is it exactly that Editors do with their three-week lag time before publishing a strip?

MW: there…

RMMD: and there.
Skip Bittman
October 21st, 2009 at 2:08 am [Reply]

MW: Dear God, he’s going to wake up when Adrian tells him she’ll marry him!

9CL: Is Brooke admitting that he’s an imbecile? I salute you, sir, for your honesty!
KarMann
October 21st, 2009 at 2:14 am [Reply]

10/20 9CL Special Comment: And in the spirit of objecting opposite your imbecile Thorax, McEldowney, I’d like to point out that the “special theory of…” formulation invokes Einstein, but the “equal but opposite” is a very Newtonian thing. You Fail Physics Forever
He Brought Queenie Baby Jesus
October 21st, 2009 at 2:15 am [Reply]

Tommie doesn’t watch television, because that might make her interesting to talk to.
MolyBendum
October 21st, 2009 at 2:42 am [Reply]

Beetle – Nice DD typos, Ms. Buxley.

Cathy – Yesterday we were reintroduced (because I think Guisewite took some time off and didn’t feel like committing to a plot) to Cathy’s in-laws who, after a couple months of Cathy shopping, are apparently still hanging around the house. I have to give her credit for the hyper-awareness of yesterday’s “no we’re still here” and today’s “multiple appendages”. If she keeps this up I’ll have to hate Cathy less. shudder

Curtis – And, since I’m being nice to comics I hate today, it’s good to see someone do a volunteer storyline and not say “volunteer” one time. Let’s keep hoping this old guy snaps and sics his aardvark on Curtis though.

Herb & Jamaal – Haha, it’s funny because that’s not how Jeopardy works.

Six Chicks – ”See doc, I keep having this nightmare: I’m running in my wheel and all of a sudden this giant hand reaches in and scoops me up. Next thing I know, I’m in a tube and it’s dark. So I start running and then it’s all warm and squishy and smelly. I try to claw my way out, and then I realize my claws have been cut off! What’s it mean, doc, what’s it mean?!”

Snuffy Smith – Holy crap, between this and BC today I gave myself a headache. At least I finally figured out that Snuff was alluding to homing pigeons. I never figured out BC.

The Other Coast – Pluggers remember when you had to wear a suit to fly on an airplane.
Crabby McCarthy
October 21st, 2009 at 2:55 am [Reply]

Apt. 3G – would Tommie get rid of that damn Muriel from Too Close for Comfort haircut already? What era are these people living in?
Kanomi
October 21st, 2009 at 3:21 am [Reply]

Beetle Bailey:

Don’t ask, don’t tell, don’t reach around for the cake.
Dr. Weird
October 21st, 2009 at 3:21 am [Reply]

145 bats :[ asks…

“MT: and what is it exactly that Editors do with their three-week lag time before publishing a strip?”

Answer: Golf, lots and lots of golf!
True Fable
October 21st, 2009 at 4:37 am [Reply]

9 Dickweed Lane Sorry if you don’t like our snark toward you, Brooke, but please remember that WE’RE the ones that must plow through YOUR insufferable brats Edda and Amos for the off-chance Solange or Seth and Mark might show up and make it entertaining.

Bite me.

Apartment of Doom If Ruby doesn’t resort to begging, Tommie, I will.

Army of One Red Letter Day: Miss Buxley gets told off!

Cathy Must Die And pointy fingers and weird butterfly mouths!

I still don’t read Dick Tracy so there.

Children of the Circle Because the finger that REALLY speaks for you will grow biggest of all, Jeffy.

Funky Winkerbeanie Ahh. The kind of strip I liked about Funky in the old days.

Scenes from Suburban Hell Trixie is preparing to descent to the lowest circle of Suburban Hell when she marries Marvin in the future.

Fist O Justice Theater “No, I wasn’t talking to you, Mark – I was talking to Sassy! You sure were lucky Mark was unconscious because he’d have thrown you to the ‘gator first thing!”

Master Poopypants Yeah, like they’re going to require that a kid who fills his pants with poo, wear a tiny little suit as a uniform. Get the hook, this strip’s long done.

Mary, Bringer of Meddle “I wouldn’t worry, dear – I’m sure he can tell how desperate you are!”

Rex Morgan, MIA She’s just not into you, Tim.
True Fable
October 21st, 2009 at 4:40 am [Reply]

descend, descend, DESCEND! You’d think after years of reading Hi and Lois, I’d be familiar with descending into Suburban Hell.
MolyBendum
October 21st, 2009 at 6:02 am [Reply]

- Mark Trail –
Some casual observations about today’s Mark Trail, neglecting the obvious:
Rusty – with his giant head, small child’s body, and an axe – is a nightmare inspiring sight.
Sassy, normally an ankle-height dog, has apparently matured into the rarely seen Speckled Lab.
Mark really, really, really loves to make fires. And drinks a lot of coffee.
Smoke doesn’t rise from a fire so much as it oozes, foglike.

- Mary Worth –
Jack Kevorkian is sitting somewhere reading Mary Worth saying “Jeez, Adrian is the worst doctor ever!”
Sheila Sternwell
October 21st, 2009 at 6:03 am [Reply]

I for one welcome surprise anal to our daily comic strips. Well, not to Funky Cancerstein, but that goes without saying.

MW: Remember about, oh, two years ago, when Toby brought some repulsive food to a Charterstone pool party, and it was square and salmon colored? Now we know what it was: chunks of the hospital dining room wall.
Sheila Sternwell
October 21st, 2009 at 6:08 am [Reply]

Spurred on by True’s comment at 153, I actually checked out 9 Wankwood Lane today. HAHAHAHAHA. I can’t summon up enough energy to actually care about Brooke’s poor widdle hurt feewings, though. While Batiuk is an attention whore and crank, i.e. he’s fun to poke with a spoon, McEldowny is just your garden variety misogynist wanker. There’s a million guys like him on the Internet, and they’ve all got blogs that are more entertaining than his comic strip drudgery, so he can go soak his head.
KarMann
October 21st, 2009 at 6:14 am [Reply]

@Sheila Sternwell #157: “Go soak his head”? Could you please, please find a different choice of words, when we’re talking about Brooke?
John C Fremont
October 21st, 2009 at 6:44 am [Reply]

Late for work, but I just have to say that Mark Trail made me burst out laughing today. Elrod’s definitely just messing with us. That’s all I have to say. Oh, and that Tim guy from Rex Morgan really wasn’t ready for that extreme close-up. And Brooke McEldowney ought to hit himself in the head with a large branch just like that kid from Gil Thorp. Really, that’s all. Now it’s off to do battle with the H1N1 virus. Oot greet, everybody!
C. Havoc
October 21st, 2009 at 6:48 am [Reply]

MT:Yes, yes…I know the misplaced word balloon is an obvious snark, but I have to say: the combined image of Mark talking to himself in the presence of a grotesque little wooden boy with an axe is one of the most unsettling things I have ever seen.

MW:“What is he passes away without knowing how much I love him, or that I want to marry him?”
He’ll still be DEAD, moron.
C. Havoc
October 21st, 2009 at 6:51 am [Reply]

#160: What IF…”IF”, not “what is”…

…and I used “preview” three times, dammit.
Bryan
October 21st, 2009 at 7:16 am [Reply]

9 Chickweed Lane: Hey, Brooke, Tom Batiuk called, he says you’re stealing his bit.
Hi & Lois: Oh, Trixie, no. Leave the feces gags to Marvin.
La Cucaracha: God, I hate this strip. I don’t snark on La Cucaracha much because, with the embargo on you-know-who, I figure it wouldn’t be fair to snark on you-know-who’s ideological mirror image. From the constantly re-used art to the straw men to the smug takes to the camera and a dozen more reasons, there is absolutely nothing I like about this strip.
Pluggers: Or you could go to any one of the dozen outlets
that supply tubes to musicians and hobbyists.
Spiderman: Hey, Sandman maybe if you didn’t wear that distinctive striped muscle shirt and Harry Osborne signature haircut people wouldn’t recognize you.

109, CanuckDownSouth: um, you mean it wasn’t so-obvious-as-to-not-be-worth-saying that the Python’s guys kidnapped Diana and blew up the building to cover their tracks / cause pain to be compounded when stripey-butt is confronted with her true fate?

No, I suppose it wasn’t. I guess I was expecting the Python to act like a real terrorist, which was my first mistake. See also: My note on Republic serial-levels of ass pulling.
Sheila Sternwell
October 21st, 2009 at 7:35 am [Reply]

#158 KarMann – Oh dear. Now I’m thinking what you’re thinking, and it’s not pretty.
Mela
October 21st, 2009 at 7:43 am [Reply]

Wednesday comics:

A3G: “We can be berated on national television by snotty anorexics and gay stereotypes because we don’t wear enough brown shift dresses! It’ll be fun!”

‘Shaft: Oh, for God’s sake, YOU HAVE A BLUNT OBJECT RIGHT IN YOUR HAND! USE IT!

Curtis: I’m ashamed to admit this, but I like this. Curtis is doing something genuinely nice for an old man, and he’s not crowing on & on about how great he is for “volunteering”.

FW: I’m enjoying this while it lasts.

GA: And if Gertie bothered to open her eyes, the audience might understand why.

Luann: I don’t know what’s more noxious – Greg’s assumption that all black people have a direct line to the President, or that the others are drinking Delta’s smug politically-motivated-charity Kool-Aid.

My Cage: As someone who believes in ghosts, I view stuff like “Ghost Hunters” much like Norm does. Ghosts have better things to do than fuck with film crews.

PBS: I smell a new internet meme.

Pluggers: Pluggers like to swap out the covers on their Yellow Pages and their leather-bound electronics catelog, then hold them the exact same way in the same awkward posture.

Zits: Yes, because women can NEVER appreciate the huge visual difference between a hi-def LCD screen and a busted old tube box.
Sheila Sternwell
October 21st, 2009 at 7:44 am [Reply]

#162 Bryan – I had never read La Cucaracha before, and yeah, the re-used art is irritating. Even Garfield doesn’t re-use art; you can always see differences in lines between the panels, although Garfield and Jon rarely change position during those 3 panels. Which leads me to the question of WHY someone would create a strip where characters don’t even move?
Debidawg
October 21st, 2009 at 7:51 am [Reply]

S4th: And so Alice speaks for all the CC’rs.
Whippersnapper
October 21st, 2009 at 8:11 am [Reply]

MT: “And I’m hoping to even luckier this time. Say Rusty, now that I’ve brought you back to the area where my unknown and uncaptured assailants attacked me, why don’t you wander off alone to gather some firewood or something?”
AhClem
October 21st, 2009 at 8:15 am [Reply]

FW While FW has been relatively innocuous this week, I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop. Acid rain? Giant alligators? Carcinogenic valve oil?

H&L – I’m waiting for Marvin to drop in, give Trixie a dope-slap and say, “Knock it off, lady. Stop workin’ MY side of the street.”

9CL – Aside to Brooke: “Pplplplplplplpl!”
wooddragon
October 21st, 2009 at 8:17 am [Reply]

Long-time lurker, very occasional poster here. Thank you all for enlivening my day!

10/21 MT: I’m pretty sure Mark is training to be a ventriloquist. Today shows that he’s not very good at it.

10/21 9CL: I think Brooke’s on to you all…
dreadedcandiru2
October 21st, 2009 at 8:23 am [Reply]

9 DickweedAuthor Lane: We all know why, of course, that sleazy pornographer is angry. He doesn’t much like us, with our obsolete morals and outdated ideas not applauding his wonderful Creatures of Purt Art. How dare we not find an immature little child who smilingly refuses to live in the real world (going so far as to will the incineration of those who would drag her kicking and screaming into the hated Land of Objective Reality), her vindictive petty-tyrant mother who arrogantly refuses to treat her students like people, the blasphemous oik dairy farmer and the stuffed shirt author insert anything less than a new pantheon for a troubled world. Also, how dare we not accept their smiling immorality, their needlessly pedantic speechways and his twisted perspective.
Amateur
October 21st, 2009 at 8:24 am [Reply]

9CL: I had to go see what everyone’s talking about. Wow. That was . . . direct.
buckyswife
October 21st, 2009 at 8:28 am [Reply]

MT: Okay, this is weird: In the print WashPost, the dialogue balloon is correctly positioned. I was reading the comments and thinking, huh? It looked okay to me–but then I looked at the online strip on the WashPost site, and sure enough—Mark’s doing his best to pretend that Rusty isn’t even there. Can’t say I blame him.
Bryan
October 21st, 2009 at 8:35 am [Reply]

170, dreadedcandiru2: Wow, you may be a naughty little fish but you sure do write a delightfully blistering anti-9CL rant.
buckyswife
October 21st, 2009 at 8:38 am [Reply]

A35: So this is going to be Ruby’s storyline? One can imagine where that will end up: “Next, on a Very Special Episode of ~~Blossom~~ Ruby, Ruby tries to change her looks but eventually realizes that she’s fine just the way she is.”

For god’s sake, you’ve already dressed her in pink hair bows and the occasional charwoman cap, accessorized with matching mop n bucket. And now she’ll get a public makeover to win back the heart of the pompous, pill-schilling quack down the hall? Can’t you leave the poor woman a shred of dignity?

Meanwhile, Tommie tries to comprehend the idea that she could be on TV; before now, she believed that tiny elves were performing in the magic box, just for her.

MW: Well, Adrian, he sure as heck won’t know if you don’t tell him. Geez—Mary, smack her again, would you?

JP: An ambush? Okay, Sam at least had some grounding in reality with the whole gun-residue thing. But now he’s just making shit up.

BB: Miss Buxley is probably startled because the general is calling her breasts “typos.”
Amateur
October 21st, 2009 at 8:38 am [Reply]

MT: Oh, Mark, Mark, Mark. What happened to “he ‘probably’ saved me from the alligator that was coming right at me when I was unconscious”? You had such a great run of ingratitude going there for a while.

But I guess the speech balloon problems you’ve been having are enough to throw anyone off.
Écureuil Écumant
October 21st, 2009 at 8:55 am [Reply]

Dickbrain Lane: hey Balloon Boy, go ahead and fill ‘er up with hydrogen sulfide all you want. As for us, we’ll stick with our laughing gas.
buckyswife
October 21st, 2009 at 8:56 am [Reply]

124 MolyBendum: Very cool! Thanks for telling us about it!
Écureuil Écumant
October 21st, 2009 at 8:58 am [Reply]

P.S. — and Pigborn is an order of magnitude more of a wank job, although such a thing is hardly conceivable.
Amateur
October 21st, 2009 at 9:10 am [Reply]

#149 — That “multiple appendages” line was great. :-) I rarely speak of my liking for “Cathy” here, not wanting to be dogpiled on, but at least once I can climb on someone else’s approving bandwagon. Thanks!
Ed Dravecky
October 21st, 2009 at 9:25 am [Reply]

9CL: “an equal and opposite imbecile”? I must strongly protest that in no way is “9 Chickweed Lane” our equal.

And for reasons even a trained psychiatrist will have a hard time explaining, I’ve been reading “Pibgorn” of late. While lovingly rendered in great detail, the plot movement makes “Dick Tracy” look spare and quick-moving. As best I can work out, having only gone back three *months* worth of strips and still apparently coming in on the tail end of this storyline, Brooke has spent the last couple of weeks hitting the reset button so it’s as if none of it ever happened. So… that’s time I’ll never get back.
One-eyed Wolfdog
October 21st, 2009 at 9:36 am [Reply]

I also felt like I was missing something in today’s BC, but as long as they keep putting the cutie in, I don’t care if there are comprehensible jokes.
HalibutStance
October 21st, 2009 at 9:51 am [Reply]

MT: Mark is asking and answering his own questions again – that’s tops in Brownshirt efficiency!
Little A and his Verkokte Magic Ball
October 21st, 2009 at 9:58 am [Reply]

H & L: another doody “joke.” How does this stuff get past the Comics Code Authority? (Remember that?)
Little A and his Verkokte Magic Ball
October 21st, 2009 at 9:59 am [Reply]

Just showing my age. I know it was supposed to patrol comic books, not comic strips.
Professor Fate
October 21st, 2009 at 10:05 am [Reply]

9CL: today’s strip was ghost written by Tom Batiuk.

FW: The ironic thing is that the band is playing “When the Leeve Breaks.” And I think somewhere out there Wally – having a combat flashback – is hiding underwater breathing through a straw.

MW: Okay anybody want to set up a line on Scott having Amnesia when he wakes up? Also love the bit about Dr Good saying it looks bad.
Saluki
October 21st, 2009 at 10:09 am [Reply]

Shoe: Rolling back the odometer? Is that what the middle agers are calling it these days?
Comcis Fan
October 21st, 2009 at 10:29 am [Reply]

FC: Another valium-soaked gaze of despair from a trapped member of the Keane cast, this time Thel, knowing she must respond lovingly, even though she’d like to show Jeffy how much her middle finger has grown.

FW: Will they get through the week without a lightning strike?

S4th: Sorry friend, no room in the budget to hire you on my staff. See? I’m even wearing clothes from the late Tootsie Era, that’s how tight the budget it. Speaking of tight, permt me to bounce my “love life” troubles off you. (Prediction: Aria is lurking somewhere in this story line, even if only in the recesses of Ted’s mind, as it lingers by the office vending machine where first he met his sci-fi geeky temptress.)

Memo to Gen. Halftrack: Darn tootin’ you’d better be saying nice “typos.” Now, if you’d hired her for her typing skills, general, you might have a valid complaint.
TheDiva
October 21st, 2009 at 10:35 am [Reply]

BaBl: How old is Zoe, anyway? She seems to be at the age where “volunteering” consists of bringing in a couple cans of Campbell’s Chunky Soup for the school food drive.

FW: There was a time when I could read a punchline like that and not suspect Batiuk was setting up a death by drowning.

Pluggers would rather pay hundreds of bucks for an antiquated radio part than spend thirty bucks on a new radio.
spike
October 21st, 2009 at 10:36 am [Reply]

AhClem @ 168: How about “carcinogenic acid rain with sharks in that ol’ riptide”? Jack Elrod can supply a close-up of Great White and Brooke can ghost the dialog. [Perhaps Margo or Mary Worth will be seen in a cameo in the bleachers and we'll all be in Curmudgeon Heaven!]

I guess we all need to say something nice about Brooke’s next good effort. We seem to be headed in that direction with Batiuk.
JustAGuyGuy
October 21st, 2009 at 12:47 pm [Reply]

I expect that second panel of Beetle Bailey to make its way across the internet very, very, very soon.
Victoria Dunn
October 21st, 2009 at 2:25 pm [Reply]

The only reality show Ruby and Tommie should audition for is “I Dressed Under the Full Glare of Florescent Lighting.”
ladadog
October 21st, 2009 at 9:03 pm [Reply]

RMMD: Everytime I see Becka and the big goof in that car (which is every other day, since this strip alternates between them and the dementia sufferers asking for food and offering golf lessons) all I can think about is John Fowles’ The Collector. And it really creeps me out. Please come back, Rex, all is forgiven.
Dr Paisley
October 21st, 2009 at 11:03 pm [Reply]

Then Beetle says, “Don’t hit me, Sarge, I know where that fist has been!”
Thomas B.
October 21st, 2009 at 11:20 pm [Reply]

RE: Beetle Bailey

I didn’t ask, so why can I tell?
Thomas B.
October 21st, 2009 at 11:51 pm [Reply]

Clearly, it is “inappropriate sex humor” week at Camp Swampy. Monday features Beetle’s masochistic treatment of his morning wood, which Sarge wisely ignores. Tuesday readers were treated to a “we didn’t ask, so why are you telling” moment with Sarge and Cookie. Wednesday Gen Halftrack makes a clear reference to Buxley’s rack. Before the week is over I fear Chaplin Staneglass will do something terrible to poor Zero…again.
Loonesta
October 23rd, 2009 at 6:44 pm [Reply]

Are you aware that one of famed gay erotic graphic artist Tom of Finland’s recurring characters was named Cake?
Maus Magill
October 27th, 2009 at 8:17 am [Reply]

While I agree that Tim and Becka must pay dearly for their storyline, Rex and June must not suffer. Okay, Rex can suffer, but not June. Not as long as she keeps wearing the bikini.
Polprav
November 2nd, 2009 at 9:46 pm [Reply]

Hello from Russia!
Can I quote a post “No teme” in your blog with the link to you?

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