Monday is for soap opera awesomeness
Apartment 3-G, 10/26/09
Oh my goodness, is flowzy floozy Bobbie Merrill trying to worm her way into my heart, or does this sort of behavior just come naturally to the pill-addled blonde? She knows how the world works, of course — you send a gift basket to the crooked head-shrinker who’ll write a script for whatever it is you’re jonesing for when you show off some ankle; that much is given. But that doesn’t mean that she has to like how the sordid game is played, or that she has to make nice with the gift basket industry that profits from these little social niceties or the concierges who piggyback on for the ride and expect their own cut. No, Bobbie has bigger fish to fry, and by “bigger fish” she means “a tractor-trailer full of Ambien,” and by “fry” she means “rob at gunpoint.”
Mark Trail, 10/26/09
You know what would be completely hilarious and rad? If Mark were really serious about leaving the swamp tomorrow without even a cursory attempt to track down the poachers vigilante-style and punch them. “Sorry, fellas, I’m on vacation! You can kill and skin all the alligators you want, see if I care.”
Rex Morgan, M.D., 10/26/09
Wait a minute, Baldy “Punk Rocker” “Earrings” McPunky O’Thug’s real name (or real nickname) is Cue? As in a cue ball, which is white and spherical, much like Cue’s head? This is the greatest moment in Rex Morgan Sinister Bad Guy Billiards-Related Naming since the appearance of a black drug dealer named Eightball.
Presumably Cue will learn from his offscreen media-savvy friend that there’s a big reward out for these runaways, and will heroically drive them back to their substandard nursing home, where he’ll be lauded at a press conference and receive the key to the city from the mayor. Meanwhile, Becka and Tim will continue to drive aimlessly around soggy golf courses, staying out so late that Becka’s husband will suspect her of infidelity, leading to further marital turmoil, divorce, and emotional anguish. You may think that sounds harsh, but I want every non-Cue, non-Alzheimers-afflicted character in this story to suffer terribly. Even Rex and June should be punished, for abandoning us to this mess.
Funky Winkerbean, 10/26/09
“Things can always get worse” = the new Funky Winkerbean mission statement, obviously. The only question: is that cop ringing the doorbell to announce that Cory’s dead, or that one or more people are dead because Cory killed them?
October 26th, 2009 at 2:22 pm
Funky: On the plus side, cancer doesn’t ring the doorbell.
October 26th, 2009 at 2:25 pm
Maybe his name is Clie? Yet another reason to dislike all-caps.
October 26th, 2009 at 2:25 pm
Let’s hope the messenger is from the syndicate, informing them that their horrible strip is dead, along with the wretched re-booted Adam @ Home. Worst. Strip. Ever.
October 26th, 2009 at 2:26 pm
#1: Oooo, “Cancer Rings the Doorbell”
I’m sooo taking that one for my next noir novel.
October 26th, 2009 at 2:36 pm
I like how there’s about thirty seconds of silence and stillness in the Winkerhouse after he says, “Don’t say that!,” to give the cop time to get out of the car and walk to the front door (and for the ball of black despair to begin devouring the drapes).
What’s the most important thi
TIMING!
October 26th, 2009 at 2:36 pm
I never thought I’d say this, but Partemnt 3 G has tapped the zeitgeist. A Marist College study came out a few weeks back that said “Whatever” is the most overused and annoying slang phrase. If it’s annoying, it has to be A3G!
http://www.kotatv.com/global/story.asp?s=11301293
October 26th, 2009 at 2:40 pm
Among other misperceptions the strip has made it its mission to dispel is the notion that “Cancer Always Rings Twice”.
Don’t answer the door, Funky! The ghost of Lisa would warn you, if it wasn’t busy watching Les and Cayla get it on, and giving a new, more literal, interpretation to the “thumbs up” signal.
October 26th, 2009 at 2:41 pm
Re #6, sorry about the misspellings and typos…you’d think you could preview things or something…
October 26th, 2009 at 2:41 pm
Rex: And in the least thought out cross-over evah, “Q” from Star Trek TNG appears as “Cue” AKA Baldy “Punk Rocker” “Earrings” McPunky O’Thug
The name that puts the homo in homonym.
October 26th, 2009 at 2:42 pm
Cory probably was busted with pot. On the upside, he already has a medical marijuana supplier for when he contracts, you know, cancer.
October 26th, 2009 at 2:44 pm
Gil Thorp goes to prison! I hope we’ll all learn valuable lessons on shiv-making and cigarette-bartering.
October 26th, 2009 at 2:45 pm
Let’s see what I can do with the weekend thread… succintly.
The Modesto Kid: Um, my web page is in HTML because… it’s browser-independent and loads in a flash? But at least I code it myself by hand, while lazy Pluggers would use a Microsoft tool to do, and end up looking like tools because of their webpage.
Speaking of which, Geocities is shuttind down today! Celebrate!
buckyswife: I am proud to be a Barretoite. Also, I don’t try for the COTW or the float (I’ve only gotten on it twice accidentally), so yeah, here we can be ourselves – but we still are a pretty funny bunch.
True Fable: Ahh, that’s why I try to catch up – to not miss more Cat & Curmudgeon. It’s okay to have that much time between installments if they’re of that quality.
Cambiata: thank you very much for the link to the classic comic strip/books mashups! I think Cringerfield is my favourite, for how close it is to the source materials.
Ed Power, My Cage Writer (but thankfully not a cagey writer): It’s just a form of sub-cultural appropriation. Your strip is not inherently “furry”, as in done by and/or for the subculture; it’s plain Funny-Animal, which has a decades-old pedigree in the funny papers. Those comments are probably written by people either deep in the fandom or deep in teh net who label anything animals-who-walk as “furry” (in a positive.negative light, respectively), or by younger people who have heard of furries first and then associate anything animal-who-walks related as such in their mind, not knowing of the history of the genre.
Or maybe they don’t consider Bugs Bunny and Pogo (if they know about them) as furry because the works are older than the fandom, while anything anthro done in the last fifteen years gets the label because of something akin to the second definition above.
Oh, and both comments you listed are positive – that to them, despite the vilification of furry art (sometimes deserved by some who throw it out widely in squick ways), it’s still a good strip. So it’s actually high praise. :)
As for our little quips on the girls of the strip… just silly fun, but it means their personalities can resonate in us, and are therefore grounded in something real.
October 26th, 2009 at 2:46 pm
Wow, in what city would two old people wandering off from a nursing home be all over the news? Will the next Rex Morgan plotline be about the media firestorm touched off when the fire department gets a kitten out of a tree?
October 26th, 2009 at 2:47 pm
Can anyone translate “things can always get worse” into Latin? I think we need to make the Winkerbean family crest. I’m thinking just a black field, surmounted with a vulture grasping a tumor and flanked by a doughy, smirking rendition of Funky on the left and, of course, Masky McDeath on the right.
October 26th, 2009 at 2:48 pm
As an Eagle Scout with both the Camping and First Aid merit badges, I’m deeply concerned by how close to that campfire Rusty is standing then crouching. However, this behavior might explain whatever the hell happened to his face and cruelly misshapen head.
October 26th, 2009 at 2:49 pm
If Cue ends up going to prison, maybe he can knock Eightball in the hole.
October 26th, 2009 at 2:50 pm
As long as the characters Cory killed are major characters and not walk-ons, I’ll be happy. Well, not happy, but, you know, less suicidal than the average Funky Winkerbean character.
October 26th, 2009 at 2:51 pm
I’m beginning to think that Margo and Bobbie are related, as evidenced by the “whatever” gene. But zenvelo @7 has caused me to reconsider.
I also miss the Dysfunctional FC. After I shared the site with my teenaged sons I realised that I was probably awaiting a visit family protective services.
October 26th, 2009 at 2:53 pm
Uncle Lumpy @#2: True Dat. I read the narration box as “HIS LMNG ROOM!” Naturally, I used the Googles and lo and behold, “LMNG” has something to do with golf!
October 26th, 2009 at 2:54 pm
Hey, check out chez Funky there — two-story McMansion on a hill, no skeezy paint-peeling clapboard dump like Les Moores’. Did he fund it by cutting corners on ingredients at his sad but inexplicably popular pizza joint? Alimony from Cindy? Jumbo negative-amortization adjustable-rate mortgage from Countrywide?
A middle-aged couple with one child needs a house that big only if they’re trying to stay as far away from one another as possible while claiming to live under one roof.
October 26th, 2009 at 2:54 pm
Or the most likely explanation, that Cory has been a sleeper Al-Qaeda agent all along, and has suicide-bombed a downtown bus, resulting in much carnage and weeping.
Still one of the sunnier storylines in the FW universe, though.
October 26th, 2009 at 2:54 pm
RMMD – Is that what Prof. X is doing these days?
October 26th, 2009 at 2:55 pm
Pozzo at #16 for the win!
October 26th, 2009 at 2:56 pm
In the best of all possible worlds, the police would be coming to tell Funky that Cory has been arrested and is being held for shooting two cops during a drug bust at the SantaRoyMart. In reality, though, they are probably coming to tell him that Cory has been captured by Taliban guerrillas and taken back to Iraqistan, The Winkerbeans have a gene for that sort of thing, you know.
October 26th, 2009 at 3:03 pm
Doesn’t calling yourself “Cue” get confusing at the skinhead conventions? It’s like a lumberjack calling himself “Beardy,” or a porn star calling himself “‘Stache.”
October 26th, 2009 at 3:04 pm
Things can always get worse in Westview, and they usually do.
October 26th, 2009 at 3:06 pm
I think Cue is talking to Eightball, who was released early because the SRPD once again fucked up royally.
Next line: “You know I’m behind you, Eightball.”
October 26th, 2009 at 3:10 pm
I like the fact that in deference to the elderly (the last demographic on Earth who read Rex Morgan non-ironically) the narration box refers to the escapees as an “older” couple, rather than using a more straightforward terms such as “old,” “cogerish” or “overly entitled Alzheimer-crazed gatecrashers.”
October 26th, 2009 at 3:10 pm
#23 Baka Gaijin: Co-sign re. Pozzo’s comment. That there’s a floater if ever I saw one.
October 26th, 2009 at 3:11 pm
Garfield: Today’s strip looks like a post-modern self-critique, awash in irony. Behold: scene, buildup, punchline, Garfield explains the punchline, fin (Garfield does nothing). Soon, we will see a plot in which nothing happens at all, thereby reducing the strip to its logical concluion. oh wait (interestingly, today is the twenty-eigth anniversary of that strip)
October 26th, 2009 at 3:12 pm
The policeman has nothing to do with Cory. It will be another 3 weeks and 5 victims before they connect him with the rape-torture-kill-mutilate spree that has petrified the town and polluted the local water supply.
No, the policeman, who was distracted with worry because his wife has XDR-TB, just ran over a cat and is bringing the body to the door to see if it is (was) the Winkerbean family pet. (It turns out to be a small skunk.)
October 26th, 2009 at 3:13 pm
FW: Hello? It’s Batiluk. Cory’s been arrested for unauthorized use of interferon.
RMMD: Ladies and gentlemen, the little-known sixth member of Dethklok.
October 26th, 2009 at 3:13 pm
Maybe my heart has become too blackened but I so yearn for Adrian to bend down, take Scott’s hand, and utter, “moja droga jacie kocham.”
October 26th, 2009 at 3:14 pm
Funky Winkerbean – where even Murphy’s Law is like, “goddamn!”
October 26th, 2009 at 3:14 pm
Based on the panels in Mark Trail (#1 – in the boat, #2 – cooking over the fire, #3 – packing away the stuff), it seems like Rusty and Mark are only able to muster one spoken thought every 15-30 minutes. Which either bespeaks the lack of mental acuity you always suspected of Rusty or a deeply sub-textual hatred so profound you wouldn’t think you’d find it outside of Apartment 3G.
October 26th, 2009 at 3:15 pm
Josh.
The two are not mutually exclusive.
October 26th, 2009 at 3:17 pm
DT — When this storyline is over (assuming of course it will end), will Della Contessa sing?
October 26th, 2009 at 3:26 pm
I don’t know what Bobbie Merrill’s playing at in today’s “Apartment 3G.” If she just wanted the pill prescription, she’s already got that, so why send the basket? Or is she drawing Aristotle Papagoras into some sort of web of deception, lies and deceit? Perhaps she’s trying to draw him away from Gabrielle and her “mangoes,” but why the disdain for him if that’s the case? I can only pray that she turns out to be some sort of awesome stalker like Alex Forrest in “Fatal Attraction.” That’s the only way this convoluted character development is going to pay off.
We know that Mark Trail will leave the poachers unmolested and unreported. It’s similar to Teddy Roosevelt setting up those game reserves and preserving wildlife so he’d have something to shoot later in his life.
Wow, Cue in “Rex Morgan” sets a new comics page record, going from “sinisterly shaded face and eyes” to “disarmed by shock” in the space of two panels. I only hope that these reveal some sort of split personality disorder that will further add to the muddled madness of rest home escapees, overly-forward chauffeurs and whatever else is in this latest storyline.
Obviously, Tom Batiuk has a limited amount of story lines he can use to further depress us after years of killing off characters and ruminating on the bleakness of life. I hadn’t ever considered that we’d be treated to this depressing new low of kidnapping/child murder quite so soon. However, if he is beginning the transition from “Funkyverse” to “Rob Zombie’s Theme Park,” I applaud him. Even slasher stories are more uplifting and hopeful than “Funky Winkerbean.”
October 26th, 2009 at 3:28 pm
“Things Can Always Get Worse” — Now THERE’S a slogan for the Westview tourism brochures!
October 26th, 2009 at 3:30 pm
DaveyK: I noticed the long, empty spaces between panels too! I thought maybe their batteries were winding down.
October 26th, 2009 at 3:31 pm
#14 fillmoreeast: Res can usquequaque adepto peior.
#13 SteveS: I live in a major U.S. city and when someone wanders off from a nursing home, it makes the local TV news.
October 26th, 2009 at 3:32 pm
3G – I think Bobbie’s saying she’s not interested in the good doctor because he has a small Papagoras. And she has “bigger fish to fry”.
October 26th, 2009 at 3:33 pm
Luann – My boss once told me he saves up all his condiments from takeout meals and gives them out at Halloween. So here, kid, have a packet of soy sauce!
Whereas I got dinged last year by Mr. Cat for buying “crappy candy” – ie, Blow Pops and Tootsie Rolls – and he went out and loaded up on Reese’s Cups and Butterfingers.
I married one of the good ones. Although, for my money, I do like Tootsie Rolls.
October 26th, 2009 at 3:34 pm
A3G – If the Concierge had a thought bubble in panel 3, it would read:
a) What a [margoing] b#@$&! I’ll have the maid short sheet her bed.
b) It’s always a pleasure to serve such charming guest. I love NYC!
c) I can smell her fish from here! Damn I’m sick of this strip! Who the hell do I have to blow to get a ‘walk-on’ on Judge Parker these days?”
d) I like fish! Mmmm!
October 26th, 2009 at 3:37 pm
Rex Morgan – My theory is that “Cue” is his last name, and that he’s a trans-sexual, whose original first name was “Barbara”.
That’s why the “older couple” is so hungry.
October 26th, 2009 at 3:40 pm
#7 Calvin:
Well, cancer could ring the doorbell. What if Lisa’s eerie cancerous ghost has inhabited young Cory, turning him into a leper who can infect people with cancer at will?
Now there’s a Halloween storyline that’s almost as scary as the thought of someone actually enjoying Funky Winkerbean.
October 26th, 2009 at 3:40 pm
RMMD:
Cue: O, IC — URNSKP!
Pearl: IM! OJ? BLT? V8?
Henry: Golf!
October 26th, 2009 at 3:56 pm
“No, Rusty, an ancient Greek philosopher once said that no man fish twice in the same swamp! In your case, that’s just because I’m leaving your weird little body tied up here for the alligators, but it’s something interesting to ponder while you’re waiting for them!”
October 26th, 2009 at 3:57 pm
Fucking goddamn typos are invisible on preview and immediately obvious upon hitting post. Every fucking time. I only wish I could have Scaduto illustrate this point for me, but – alas.
October 26th, 2009 at 3:58 pm
#46 Josh – Of course cancer rings the doorbell in FW:
[ring] Hello, I’m from Montoni’s. Did you order the large deep crust pizza with sausage, pepperoni, green pepper, malignant melanoma, and anchovies? That’s be $18.00, and Blue Cross or Medicare.
October 26th, 2009 at 3:59 pm
SF— Interesting plot development — Ces is getting the jump on Batiuk. My colleagues in the Comics Character Network tell me that the Schwallers are supposed to appear as characters in Funky Winkerbean, not Sally Forth. In the FW plot, Mr. Schwaller attempts to seduce Les’ daughter, but fails. The moral of this plot: One Schwaller does not make a Summer.
October 26th, 2009 at 4:00 pm
Funky Winkerbean has some really funky L’s… how is it that Cory “weft for wunch”? I don’t “reawy” see how things could get much worse?
October 26th, 2009 at 4:03 pm
Look at Funky Winkerbean today. Look at it! Holy crap! *MOROSE GRIMACE* “Things could always get worse….” Tom Batiuk knows what we say about him. And he’s spraying it back in our faces like a cat in heat.
October 26th, 2009 at 4:07 pm
I’m hungry!
When is my lesson?
Who am I?
I want to go home!
October 26th, 2009 at 4:07 pm
Rex Morgan – “It’s all over the news, dude! The nursing home director said they flew off in a balloon by accident, though.”
October 26th, 2009 at 4:11 pm
SF— Hey, if you didn’t like #51, how about this one:
Now we know where the Forths live. Ted and Sally are going to the Halloween party to celebrate the Schwallers’ return to Capistrano.
Oh, I’ve got a million of ‘em…
October 26th, 2009 at 4:18 pm
“We interrupt this broadcast of soon-to-be-oldies to bring you this dire report. An older couple has escaped the retirement community. I repeat: An older couple has escaped the retirement community. Keep indoors and immediately contact the authorities if you should encounter these two people of a certain age. They were last seen heading up toward lover’s lane. Do not, repeat do not…”
“That’s enough radio baby, Time for tonsil billiards.”
“But 2-Ball, the radio said they’re heading here.”
“Fine, I’ll take you home”
And when they got home, 2-Ball found a walker hanging from the rearview mirror!
Well, boys and ghouls, that’s all from Rex Morgan M.D. where the prescription is thrills. Happy Halloween!
October 26th, 2009 at 4:18 pm
#51 Alfred E. Neuman: I heard Mr. Schwaller intended to dig into that hole we saw in SFx so that he could find the buried silver dollars, but it connected to the hole that Larry fell down in PBS, and Mr. Schwaller and the bag of silver dollars tumbled down on top of Larry. Rat then sadistically threw fresh produce down the hole at both of them. Schwaller dollar cauliflower, alligaroo.
October 26th, 2009 at 4:21 pm
#55 Chryon: Best. Balloon Boy. Joke. Ever.
October 26th, 2009 at 4:23 pm
RMMD: Someone call Slylock quick! It looks like Raunchy Raccoon has kinnapped another elderly couple.
October 26th, 2009 at 4:24 pm
The Ding! and Dong! in Funky Winkerbean each get their own punctation mark because there’s every possibility the doorbell will die before it finishes.
October 26th, 2009 at 4:26 pm
43 — I’m afraid of the extortionists in my neighborhood, so I give away full sized snickers bars.
October 26th, 2009 at 4:29 pm
#14: Stand aside, Mudges! I know Latin!
Res semper ingravescere possunt!
October 26th, 2009 at 4:31 pm
I just want to point out that Cue is actually his last name. His first name is, of course, “Fuh.”
October 26th, 2009 at 4:33 pm
Cue and the ‘Ziemers
Cue: C’mon you old farts. We’re going for a little drive.
Old Golf Pro: I can help you with your driving. My rate is twenty dollars an hour.
Cue: Shut up old man. You, me and your ol’ lady got places to go.
Confused Old Lady: When do I get my Jell-O?
OGP: Yes, I’d like some Jell-O too. I thought I could wait and get some at the clubhouse after our lesson, but I’m hungry. When is the Jell-O coming?
Cue: Look, there’s no damned Jell-O here. Do I look like the kind of guy that keeps Jell-O around?
COL: You look like my son-in-law, Basil.
OGP: I look like who?
COL: Not you, him…your golf student.
OGP: Oh, you mean Mr. Clean?
Cue: Don’t try me, old man. Call me Cue.
OGP: Hugh?
Cue: No! Cue!
OGP: Like the letter? Is it short for something? Quincy, maybe?
Cue: No, Cue, like “Pool Cue”.
COL: It’s nice to meet you Mr. Pool Que. Do you have any Jell-O? We usually get Jell-O. Then we watch Monty Hall.
Cue: Oh, for…look I’ve got no Jell-O, but if you old timers will come get in Cue’s car, I’ll take you back where you came from and I’m sure they’ll give you allll the Jell-O you can eat!
COL: But I don’t want Jell-O. I want an egg salad sandwich.
Cue: What?! You’ve been whining about Jell-O since I got here! Ah, never mind, you’ll get you sandwich lady. Now c’mon and get in the car.
OGP: But what about Hugh? Doesn’t he need his car?
Cue: What are you talking about, old man? There’s no Hugh. I’m Cue and it’s my car and you and your old lady are getting in it and I’m taking you back to whatever cave they keep you old bats in.
COL: We used to have a Nash. Remember that, Perry?
OGP: What? Who’s Perry?
COL: You are. You’re my husband, Perry.
OGP: No, I’m the horny old golf pro and you’re the lonely housewife looking for some help with her short game, remember?
COL: Perry, please, not in front of Basil.
Cue: Shut up! The both of you. Now get in my car or I’ll make Jell-O out of your asses!
OGP: Did you hear that dear? He’s going to make Jell-O!
October 26th, 2009 at 4:34 pm
most of the food in those gift baskets is stuff you would never buy . dr whozit is gonna demand to see some fitty kitty if she wants those extra upppers downers aller rounders
October 26th, 2009 at 4:36 pm
PBS - Pastis is on a ROLL, people. “Calm you face, Larry, calm you face. Dreenk beer.” I haven’t laughed this hard since, well… I’m pretty sure Calvin and Hobbes was involved.
October 26th, 2009 at 4:36 pm
(My crest has Teneo lupum auribus on it. Precisely how one deals with that situation varies from person to person, I imagine.)
October 26th, 2009 at 4:41 pm
(Completely random, but it just reoccurred to me because of all the crocspeak today: I know Pastis claims he has no specific accent in mind for the crocs, but ever since a strip in one of the Pearls anthologies with a croc saying “Me bad man”, their voice has been forever fixed in my head.)
October 26th, 2009 at 4:41 pm
@One-eyed Wolfdog #68: Very carefully, I should think.
October 26th, 2009 at 4:44 pm
(in before COTWs)
Sunday thread:
Seismic-2: you need to get hurt for “firry”.
Teddytoad: the Judas line had better make the float. A perfect example of “so obvious I couldn’t think of it”.
Sequitur: if a man were to say that PBS line “Now me smaller den hamster”, right after inhaling helium, the class may be unable to think of a damned thing else all day. As well as break city ordnances for noise violations laughing. The second saying will get them ignored, students think that anyway. (I see buckyswife already said that!)
Commodorejohn: oh man, that’s what the xkcd website! MIDI music! Even he’s not willing to debase himself that low.
October 26th, 2009 at 4:47 pm
MT: We’ve been a month in the swamp, and not a single fish on the hook, fish on the stringer, fish in the skillet, fish on the skewer. Lots of brash palaver about fish coming out of their mouths, but no fish going in.
I did see a fish jump in one panel … but as we know, fish only jump because they have no middle fingers.
Poor M, R and S. As Bobbie might say, “They have meager fish to fry.” At least Rusty’s learned that when dinner’s a roasted stick, the smaller ones are more tender. That ought to be good enough for the Digestive Fiber Merit Badge.
October 26th, 2009 at 4:52 pm
Just so everyone’s clear, Mark refers to his left and right fist as “The Rangers.”
October 26th, 2009 at 4:54 pm
aPartment 3G[S]:
A trailer-full of Ambien is certain death, but damn if it won’t be the most relaxing, blissful death ever.
October 26th, 2009 at 4:56 pm
RMMD: Cue was actually named after the archaic term for the fast-forward button found on old tape recorders.
October 26th, 2009 at 5:01 pm
=v= A3G: I predict that the whole purpose of Bobbie is to show how necessary it is to let Margo be Margo.
October 26th, 2009 at 5:01 pm
71. Niall
You actually made tears come down my cheek (on my face!) with your helium comment.
On an unrealted topic (unrelated to laughter), has anyone actually stopped reading Funky Winkerbean and/or Crankshaft?
I didn’t think so. Which goes to show that we all enjoy a good train wreck.
October 26th, 2009 at 5:01 pm
Okay, where do I have to send the apology letter, to get Rex Morgan back where he belongs? The Mary Worth train wreck is making me see orange…
October 26th, 2009 at 5:10 pm
# 78 bats:[ — Hahahaha! So much for my efforts to forget “fleshly beast.”
October 26th, 2009 at 5:15 pm
Speaking of train wrecks, when I was in college there was a nearby railroad track. One day there was a derailment and several cargo cars flipped over. One of the cars held a shipment of strawberrys. For some reason for a time after the derailment, we had an abundance of strawberrys in our dining hall.
Why bring this up? Well, the strawberrys made me think of The Caine Mutiny and good ol’ Captain Queeg (a cartoon name if ever there was one) who kept rolling his balls.
Rolling of the balls made me think of bats :[’s mashups on Mary Worth.
Now we have the complete circle. Always get back to the comics!
October 26th, 2009 at 5:16 pm
I’m gonna go against the curve here and say that this is actually the start of a Very Winkerbean Halloween and the man at the door is actually a vampire come to trap Funky and Mrs. Funky in their terrible existences forever.
It doubles as a convenient way to create a legacy strip while Batiuk is still young enough to enjoy the heavily cut workload that comes as part of that package, and I think slackers everywhere will applaud him for that.
October 26th, 2009 at 6:03 pm
51 — I DIE.
I DIE.
October 26th, 2009 at 6:04 pm
zenvelo : actually it was just the most annoying of the four options Marist offered people.
October 26th, 2009 at 6:11 pm
I suggest umquam deterius, “ever more badly.”
October 26th, 2009 at 6:12 pm
Note to Rex Morgan writers: Halloween storylines should actually be scary. A horrified character does not make them so. However, if it were to turn out that the old couple was crazy, and possibly armed (ideally with a rocket launcher or two), that would be awesome.
October 26th, 2009 at 6:12 pm
I’m sorry – Anonymous 83 was me….
October 26th, 2009 at 6:31 pm
Captain Rex Morgan: I can only assume that Chrome Dome was already taken.
October 26th, 2009 at 6:34 pm
#82 Victory Garden— Thanks! Had I been a stand-up comedian using material like that, I would be the one who was dying, so I appreciate your empathy.
October 26th, 2009 at 6:36 pm
I was so taken with the new FW Mission statement in panel three that it took me all day to realize that I don’t really give shit what happens to Cory.
October 26th, 2009 at 6:41 pm
Cory was actually caught huffing shoe deoderizer at the bowling alley because he heard it might cause brain cancer…which he thinks feels like being high. Kids! Am I right? They’re always on to some crazy new kick.
October 26th, 2009 at 6:48 pm
FW — Since Halloween is so near, maybe Cory committed some kind of senseless, destructive, really expensive vandalism. Except somehow that last panel seems to indicate something more somber. Maybe Cory’s been in a horrible car wreck and losing his leg will cause his attitude to improve, via Maturation Through Mutilation.
October 26th, 2009 at 6:52 pm
(Don’t look now, but I think the new FW mission statement is spreading, and I don’t think that’s a good idea…)
October 26th, 2009 at 6:57 pm
Homer: OK, we’ve got the secret vigilante handshake. Now we need code names. I’ll be Cue-Ball, Skinner can be Eight-Ball, Barney will be Twelve-Ball, and Moe, you can be Cue-Ball.
Moe: You’re an idiot.
October 26th, 2009 at 6:58 pm
I laughed so hard at the commentary, and all the snark, that I had to go over to the PayPal link and give thanks for it. But now I’ve forgotten the important points I had to make.
Boxcar! Saturn! Jell-O! Cancer! POW!
October 26th, 2009 at 7:02 pm
Huh. Cue looks like Michael Berryman in the first panel.
October 26th, 2009 at 7:10 pm
#91 Poteet –
Re: Maturation Through Mutilation — I think you’re on to something! In Funky Winkerbean, the less that’s left of you, the better you are!
Thus intact Funky and Bull are creeps, emotionally-damaged Les a hero, Wally, Stumpy and Dinkle paragons, and Dead Lisa a saint.
October 26th, 2009 at 7:10 pm
Tom Batiuk wins comment-of-the-week this week, for panels two and three.
October 26th, 2009 at 7:29 pm
GT: A hit and a miss. The miss is in presuming that there’s any such thing as a “minor” prison beef. The hit is in depicting accurately in panel 2 that jailbirds have to scarf every bit of their slop in one single gobstopping faceful so they don’t have to answer Bubba’s question “Hey, you done wid dat?”
October 26th, 2009 at 7:33 pm
RMMD: Cue’s super power is being able to transform from Michael Berryman to Michael Stipe in a split second. I can imagine that talent coming in handy in a very specific set of circumstances. Well, no, actually I can’t. But it beats anything Rex can do… which is nothing.
October 26th, 2009 at 7:44 pm
A3G:
Is that a concierge or Margo’s dad… in a wig?
October 26th, 2009 at 7:55 pm
#13, Steve S
http://www.kcbd.com/Global/story.asp?S=11381096
We were driving through Texas yesterday when the Silver Alert went out. The wife and I saw the alert looking for two missing senior citizens, and both of us said nearly the same thing…
OH MY GOD, REX MORGAN LIVES IN LUBBOCK!
October 26th, 2009 at 8:04 pm
I’ve only read Mark Trail for a few months but the sneaky ball cap on Mr. Trail in the first panel, COME ON! It’s as unnatural as making your pets wear clothes. What’s next a soul patch? Oh I’m watching you Elrod.
October 26th, 2009 at 8:14 pm
FW— That looks like Cory’s
shilouttesihlouttesilouttefigure in the passenger seat of the police car, so apparently he’s not dead, dammit. I’m guessing that they caught him with the Lisa’s Legacy donations that he stole again this year. Now Funky will have to take out a third mortgage on his mansion to cover the loss. Subsequently, Cory will murder his mother when she won’t give him the money to make up for the stolen donations that the police confiscated from him. Things finally get better for Funky, as Cory goes to prison and his wife’s life insurance proceeds allow Funky to pay off his mortgage and retire early to a life of comfort and ease. Only then will he get cancer.October 26th, 2009 at 8:15 pm
@frostee I appreciate the notice from, uh…4 threads ago or whenever (just got done catching up from Friday, it seems there’s a war going on here or something) …about Pastis. I don’t know what you do that you talk to him on the phone, but that’s pretty cool. To me, anyway. I don’t meet people I admire very often, so it was a neat (yes I said neat) to sit down with him for even a few minutes. Anyways, thanks.
#65 Ned Ryerson- There’s lots of funny stuff posted today, especially, but your post was hellarious.
Also extremely punny were Alfred E. Neuman and seismic-2.
And that concludes my knob-schlobbing for the evening, since I haven’t read the fucking comics and it’s 315am and I’m going to bed.
October 26th, 2009 at 8:17 pm
#1 – how do you know? This IS Funky Winkerbean, you know. Cancer knocking on the door is not outside the realm of possibility here.
October 26th, 2009 at 8:24 pm
“Things Can Always Get Worse” would have been the name of Lynn Johnston’s comic if she were morbid rather than maudlin.
October 26th, 2009 at 8:28 pm
Time for an A3G/FW crossover? Bobbie could score pills for the entire population of Westview…or at least their creator.
October 26th, 2009 at 8:34 pm
We apologize for the tardiness of this observation, but we have been indisposed.
We have given up attempting to understand the random and inexplicable costume changes by the women in Mary Worth, except to say that with her Sunday ensemble Mrs. Worth has finally shown that she can indeed dress appropriately. we would wear something like that – with sensible shoes, of course – if we were a sixtyish meddling old busybody.
October 26th, 2009 at 8:36 pm
Calvin: I just happened to take one of the anthologies off the shelf to look at while I ate my corn flakes the other morning. There is simply nothing, absolutely nothing, in today’s comics to compare with the sheer brilliance, the humor, the wit, of this strip. Watterson could express more, and more humor, with a slight distortion of Calvin’s eyes, with Hobbe’s mouth, than most cartoonists could in a month of Sundays (you should pardon the expression). Take a look at some of these strips. Look at Calvin’s father’s facial expressions. At his nose. Look at little Susie Dirkin’s head. The only strip that comes close, recently, in my opinion, is One Big Happy when Detorie is drawing carefully, as he sometimes still does (he doesn’t always) (and I am not going to get into an argument with him again, since he cursed me down the stairs and into the cellar, a few weeks ago). As many agree, Calvin belongs in the COMIC STRIP PANTHEON, along with The Far Side, Pogo, L’il
Abner, Pogo, and some others. It is not crowded in there.
October 26th, 2009 at 8:38 pm
I think Funky Winkercancer would be easier to tolerate if there was just ONE control subject in that mess of a population. One normal human being who isn’t the victim of virulent cancer and/or a debilitating mental condition.
October 26th, 2009 at 8:41 pm
If Cue is sinister – Maybe he’ll cut off bits to angle for ransom …
October 26th, 2009 at 8:43 pm
I mentioned Pogo twice, not on purpose, but this strip is deserving of two places in the Pantheon for sure. Maybe three places.
I kind of like Soup to Nutz, which runs in The New York Daily News, but I rarely if ever see it mentioned here. I wonder how many newspapers carry it. I don’t think it’s great, but it make me smile, sometimes laugh. That’s something.
And how could I forget Doonesbury? Definitely in the Pantheon!
October 26th, 2009 at 8:49 pm
78 bats:[ Please sign my name to the Rex and June recall letter. (Hilarious mash up, as usual-fleshly beast- Ha).
I’m completely mystified by the current story line. Its not like the regular characters need a rest from their exhausting schedule. Who thought this was a good idea? Except for the ersatz menace of Cue, there hasn’t been much very snark-worthy, mildly interesting or engaging (except maybe the question of: Tim, ax murdering psychopath or seminary dropout?). Even the stupifying dialogue has evidently been farmed out to someone with an obsessive/compulsive disorder.
Unless there an imminent appearance by Abby the Wonderdog or Nikki or Count Morgu I think I’m going to shine it on for a while. Do you hear that June? Rex? We’re leaving. LEAVING! You’ll miss us when we’re GONE! Buh-bye!
Oh June! please come back.
October 26th, 2009 at 9:15 pm
#all of them, by everybody: Yes, cancer at the door, people getting cancer, ha ha. The fact of the matter is that this is Funky Winkerbean, and cancer would probably be a far more pleasant guest than anyone else in the strip.
October 26th, 2009 at 10:23 pm
Of course things will get worse, that’s straight from Funky-World 101.
October 27th, 2009 at 9:21 am
Tim’s creepy resemblance to the character ‘Teddy’ in the movie Memento has inspired a wonderful fantasy in which Cue does the forgetful geezers a favor, and tattoos “You have Alzheimers!” on their foreheads, in reverse.
October 27th, 2009 at 8:50 pm
Is that speech balloon TALKING in panel 1 of Mark Trail?
October 27th, 2009 at 11:20 pm
How could it get worse? Cory killed a bunch of people, was shot dead by the police engaged in unspeakable acts with the corpses, then came back from the dead as a zombie and is currently eating the live brains of the rest of Westview’s surviving denizens. Oh, and he’s come out as gay. Gay murdering necrophiliac zombie. But, hey, things could be worse — he could be a Steelers fan or something. Or, even worse in the Funkiverse — he could be happy and well-adjusted. The horror! The horror!
October 29th, 2009 at 8:42 am
Sure Bull, it can get worse. There could be another fast forward in the FW universe where we discover the now 77 year old Les has lost a 2nd wife to cancer–ovarian this time–while on the honeymoon they purchased using the money left to them in Funky’s will. You see, after several years of reconstructive surgey, skin grafts, and therapy, Funky finally succumbs to the 4th degree burns he suffered during the fire that burned Montoni’s to the ground. You can read more about Funky’s brave battle with compartment syndrome in “Funky’s Story.”
October 29th, 2009 at 8:57 am
I found this FW character guide: http://www.kingfeatures.com/features/comics/fwinker/funkyflash.html
It’s at least 7 years old AND it is missing 4 essential characters. Where are Pestilence, War, Famine, and Death? Don’t they deserve a booth at Montoni’s and a pepperoni pizza too?