Metapost: COTW hearts corn tassels!
Your comment of the week shortly, but first, a few items! You may have heard that several cartoonists, including the odd couple of Stephan Pastis and Jeff Keane, recently travelled to Iraq to visit U.S. troops there. Well, one of said troops, faithful reader MolyBendum, got to chat with the former (if not the latter). If you missed his report in the comments, check it out!
Also! I received the following intriguing note from faithful reader David Shea:
I stumbled across a discarded poster today, and I thought you might be interested in seeing it. It depicts Mark Trail in his usual outdoorsy pose, and Andy, or perhaps a tuft of grass, suggests that you should attend the Corn Tassel Festival in Gainesville.
The Gainesville in question is Georgia’s, where a crafts festival has been held annually since 1966. The festival was renamed in 1993 when someone someone bothered to look up the namesake, George “Corn” Tassel, and found out that his greatest claim to fame was being hung for killing a dude in 1830. The case involves some legal sketchiness, since the Cherokee Nation probably had jurisdiction and Georgia hung George while things were being appealed, but still, no one wants that downer at their crafts festival, and it’s now known as the Mule Camp Market. Either way: Mark Trail.
And! Faithful reader Nigerian Business Executive sent me a link to this hilarious collection of comics mashups, which I had somehow missed.
And now it’s that time again … time for … COMMENT OF THE WEEK!
“I imagine the phrase ‘Don’t worry, Tommie. You won’t win’ plays over and over in her head pretty much constantly. Having someone say it out loud is just redundant.” –BigTed
And the runners-up! Also hilarious!
“The thing that really annoys me about Slylock Fox, as well as Encyclopedia Brown, for that matter, is that all you have to do to solve a mystery is catch the disreputable-looking character in a lie. ‘Rodney Rat wasn’t retrieving repellent, he was stealing money.’ I mean, really. He could have any number of embarrassing reasons for being out of his tent. ‘Actually, Slylock, I was masturbating.’ ‘Actually, Mr. Fox, I was trying to get the lady-duck over there to do some videos for my new foot-fetish site, Web of Lies.‘” –teddytoad
“Slylock wearing a suit, deerstalker cap, and a cape even in the desert? Total prick move. You’re not a superhero. You’re not even a lawman. You have no badge or license. You’re a rat-persecuting maniac, who trails Reeky and Rodney across the world, blaming every crime in a ten-mile radius on them. No wonder they’re reduced to living in tents.” –Strangefate
“I, for one, would like to know why the rabbit man is about to hand Rodney Rat a pair of trousers.” –ArtisticPlatypus
“I noticed today that Leroy Lockhorn’s feet are at least as long as his legs. Given these freakish new proportions (ultra short legs, rotund shape, giant nose, etc.), I can only assume that Leroy is secretly The Penguin. This can only improve the comic, as repeated guest appearances by Batman, increased explosions, and testing the latest umbrella-weapon on Loretta have vast entertainment potential.” –Alan’s Addiction
“After Tommie gets her makeover on I Dressed In the Dark, she’ll be ready to co-star in Margo’s new reality series, I Really Deserve a Punch In the Throat.” –Patrick
“Tommie needs the more intensive makeover offered by I Will Die Alone Then Be Eaten By My Dozens Of Cats.” –Ed Dravecky
“Reveal: I Dressed In the Dark will turn out not to be a makeover show. It’s a hard-hitting documentary about street people, and the producers have been humoring Ruby in the belief that she is queen of the hobos.” –Tim Cavanaugh
“I can’t believe that Cathy did something meta. Now meta has been ruined for everyone.” –Nekrotzar
“I am looking carefully at panel three and admiring the evidence that even campfire smoke obeys Mark’s mighty will. At ordinary campfires, smoke insists on rising and even gets in people’s eyes. This smoke, not wanting to be punched, cowers low.” –Poteet
“The only reality show Ruby and Tommie should audition for is I Dressed Under the Full Glare of Florescent Lighting.” –Victoria Dunn
“When I see someone with outspread arms, an expression of agony, and a glow around his head, I assume I’m looking at a crucifix. Duncan’s other big secret, apparently, is that he is the Son of God, dying for the sins of the world. I am baffled by this plotline.” –sarahtheawesome
“I love the jump to the third panel, where Gil is relating the conversation to Mrs. Thorp. ‘So he’s all, I’m laying bare my emotional distress to you, blah blah, my brother’s in jail and I cry all the time, waaaah. Poor kid, right? It’s all he can think about and absolutely no one gives a shit. Especially not me.’” –Mollie
“Ruby says Tommie’s clothes are ‘just’ boring. Just? Ruby, honey, Tommie’s got boring down to an art. She took a vow of extreme boring many years ago and has been a faithful practitioner ever since. She’s a professional bore-meister. If Tommie suddenly stripped naked and started humping the sofa arm, the only notice anyone would take is to straighten the doily.” –Farley’s Revenge
“I’m not entirely convinced that Duncan’s brother is actually incarcerated. To me, it looks more like Duncan is just experimenting with a new, hip alternative to the classic ‘In my pants’ joke, leading to some wacky misunderstandings when people take him seriously — IN PRISON!” –yuudai
“Why do I find Bernice sexy? Because she is unattainable? I better discuss this with my therapist later.” –LITTLE A. OF THE GRAND CONCOURSE JUNGLE PATROL
“I like Gil’s dim awareness of Duncan’s family situation. ‘Davey, right? I have vague memories of fucking up another Daley’s life six or seven years ago. It’s all a blur. Every year, they come to me poised at the brink of manhood, loaded with testosterone, and highly vulnerable to bad decisions. I should try and help steer them, but I’ve got the playdowns to worry about. Speaking of which, Dunc, how’d you like to kill Marty Moon for me?’” –Edgy DC
“Why is Ziggy even in the hospital in the first place? He looks fine. And by ‘fine,’ I mean more or less how I would assume a squat, bald dwarf with no pants on should look.” –Indichik
“What the heck kind of a prison is that? Karate prison?” –the good ship thetis
“Lousy joke aside, I am glad Ziggy is finally addressing his anal leakage problem. As is every one else who rides the bus.” –NoahSnark
“Duncan Daley is clearly exploiting his brother’s predicament as a path to realizing his bicurious identical twins fantasy. Croquet indeed, boys; break out those mallets! Meanwhile, Jailbird Daley provokes a guy who regrets patronizing Prince Valiant’s barber.” –Jessie
“Mud? In Dennis the Menace? Oh, I wish that were mud, but we both know that’s not true.” –Victor Von
“I like the fact that in deference to the elderly (the last demographic on Earth who read Rex Morgan non-ironically) the narration box refers to the escapees as an ‘older’ couple, rather than using a more straightforward terms such as ‘old,’ ‘cogerish,’ or ‘overly entitled Alzheimer-crazed gatecrashers.’” –Jake Morgendorffer
“Just so everyone’s clear, Mark refers to his left and right fist as ‘The Rangers.’” –Digger
“I was so taken with the new FW mission statement in panel three that it took me all day to realize that I don’t really give shit what happens to Cory.” –C. Havoc
Three cheers for everyone who put cash into my tip jar! And cheers also to my advertisers:
- Nice Jewish Guys: It’s a 2010 calendar. What’s not to like?
- STOMP Off Broadway: Electrify your life with Off-Broadway’s heart-thumping, soul-sizzling phenomenon. STOMP is explosive, sophisticated and sexy. Percussionists fill the stage with powerful rhythms, using everything from matchboxes, garbage cans, Zippo lighters, and hubcaps. The New York Times calls STOMP “Irresistible!”
- Advertise your t-shirts here: Find out more about the BlogAds t-shirt hive! Connect with young adults eager to sport your shirts! Reaching a tremendously expansive audience at a very low cost, the BlogAds T-Shirt Hive is comprised of a well-rounded set of over 30 social media elite blogs, who speak to a young hip male and female audience of clothing enthusiasts. These readers are seeking back to school threads, everyday wear and tear shirts, and any clothes that are stylish or humorous.
To find out more about advertising on this site, click here.
bats :[
October 26th, 2009 at 8:40 pm
Congrats to the Floaters! Another week of Awesome Snarking! We Decorated the Float in the Dark, so throw us some candy!
Sheila Sternwell
October 26th, 2009 at 8:43 pm
Congrats everyone!
We had a similar Mark Trail poster at the Missouri State Fair in Sedalia back in… I dunno, the late 70s. Total flashback time for me. The poster I remember was really tall; I don’t know how big the Corn Tassel fair one shown is.
Expect to see a Funky Winkercancer plot line in a few weeks about a resident who was wrongly executed by The Man and who is being “honored” with a Fun Run. A big lady will tell Les off after he condescends to her and everyone will cheer her on, but Batiuk just won’t get it.
Muffaroo
October 26th, 2009 at 9:07 pm
Congratulations and all. Special acclamation to teddytoad for the remark about mugging Judas Iscariot. It was @18 a couple of threads back for anyone who missed it.
neographite
October 26th, 2009 at 9:21 pm
“Also hilarious?” What happened to “Very funny!”? Don’t go fucking with the tropes. You’ll end up introducing Nermal, and then where will we be?
Cranky
October 26th, 2009 at 9:22 pm
I’ve been a little pressed for time this week to comment and/or read the comments, so they were more of a surprise to me than usual. Let me just say, AWESOME. Teddytoad, ArtisticPlatypus, and Jesse in particular owe me a replacement beverage. And a deserved win, BigTed.
commodorejohn
October 26th, 2009 at 9:35 pm
It’s comforting to know that, even back then, the speech balloons belonged to animals and landscapes.
Esther Blodgett
October 26th, 2009 at 9:53 pm
Between Mark’s mighty happy expression in the poster and the way he’s got both Fists o’ Justice snugged way down deep in his pockets, I’m wondering if “corn tassel” hasn’t taken on some sort of gastronomic-sexual connotation, a la “teabag” and “tossed salad.”
sugarpie
October 26th, 2009 at 9:58 pm
Congratulations to Teddy Toad and all the rest of the riders this week!
I can’t believe someone discarded the Mark Trail Tassel poster. Philistines. And judging from the size of Mark’s backpack he’s hiking to Georgia from Canada.
sugarpie
October 26th, 2009 at 10:00 pm
Congratulations to Big Ted too! Too many Ted’s this week.
buckyswife
October 26th, 2009 at 10:08 pm
Congrats to the Float Folk! Excellent stuff!
And I find that postcard highly effective: If Andy’s inviting me to the Corn Tassel Festival, well, darn it, I’m GOING to the Corn Tassel Festival!
zamros
October 26th, 2009 at 10:11 pm
Not that it’s impossible to suspend disbelief on an ad for a Corn Tassel Festival, but I have trouble believing that Mark Trail is hiking all the way there. It’s 40 miles from the Mark Trail Wilderness in Chattahoochee-Oconee National Forest to the civic center in Gainesville. And that’s mostly along highways, I doubt there’s a trail going all the way through. Don’t tell me he’s going to meet someone in a car along the way, because look at that backpack! Jeez!
zamros
October 26th, 2009 at 10:12 pm
Oh yeah, also good comments this week. I always wait for the COTW to catch up on Gil Thorp, because it just seems better that way.
Farley's Revenge
October 26th, 2009 at 10:16 pm
Whee! I’m on the float!
Congrats to Big Ted and my fellow float riders.
I suppose we should also thank the cartoonists who thoughtfully provide us with such excellent snarking material. Without them, we’d have to snark on one another and Josh would end up having to ban all of us.
Poteet
October 26th, 2009 at 11:19 pm
Yay, I’m floating! And in such great company! Congratulations to BigTed and you other funny floaters!
Niall
October 26th, 2009 at 11:30 pm
Y77. Sequitur: I’m glad my helium comment was found of humorous use to someone. :) As for me, I never even started reading Batiukverse strips, so I can’t say that I’ve stopped either…
Congrats to the floaters and to BigTed way up there!
Wow, Mark Trail by.. Dodo? The last of the Dodos? This expalins so much…
BigTed
October 26th, 2009 at 11:53 pm
Thanks, Josh, and congrats to all you other funny folks. Sincere pumpkin patches for everyone!
True Fable
October 27th, 2009 at 12:30 am
Farley’s Revenge had me laughing aloud into the echoes. Congratulations to Big Ted and all the float riders this week!
bats :[
October 27th, 2009 at 12:44 am
MW: Well, it looks like Scott’s health insurance isn’t all that great, and he’s been moved to Costco, amid all the high-rises of electronics goods. Distraught at the developments, Dr. Adrian is going to scrub at her face with her fingers, hoping to contract H1N1 or cooties, or something…
Parmalat Loire
October 27th, 2009 at 1:37 am
GT – I love how when I read “loose locker room” in panel 1, I thought “homoerotic”; in panel 2 I was led by that into looking at the dialogue as an entendre; and how panel 3 completely validates that point of view. Bravo, Thorp production crew, in ensuring that reacharounds continue to be associated with teens playing football on the comics page.
MW – Later that coma, Adrian decided to take matters into her own hands, inducing pharmaceutically-based physical arousal in her prone paramour in order to fill that gaping void in her life with a baby to brainwash as her very own. When Scott finally awoke years later, he found that he had fathered a baseball team. Mary Worth was there to drink his tears and grow strong off the sorrow and futility he would feel. Soon he too would feel his soul fade away and enter a family wherein even death may die.
PBS – Zebra’s probably not going to enjoy passing those bones and scales…
Frank Parsnip
October 27th, 2009 at 1:43 am
A3G: And by “dirt”, she’s talking about taking some farmland and turning it into a whole gated community. Dr. Paps has been hooking her up with the good shit.
DtM: Dennis curled up in a rocking chair with a teddy bear while sulking over a bad press conference? Not menacing.
MT: The writing is so bad that even the owl is scowling.
MW: OK, she can start with doing something different with that hair. Next step is to stop patting her own cheek with those “man hands.”
Marvin: Oh, right, more “belly laffs” nonsense. Wake me up when Marvin posts photos of his mom’s tits.
Blondie: Bacon ice cream? That’s old hat. One of the local stores here in sunny Taihoku (open for more than 60 years) offers 73 flavors that include: pig’s feet, beef, “drunken sesame chicken”, ma-la (spicy), Jinmen Gaolian (Taiwanese white lightning), beer, curry, wasabi, and rice among their regular offerings.
Beetle Bailey: Apparently this is going to be a whole week of Beetle-Zero jokes.
Slylock Fox: In the second panel, the diver can’t see squat when he’s under water.
Fashion Police
October 27th, 2009 at 1:46 am
we ordinarily look askance at white skirts, particularly with black sweaters, but we are inexplicably taken with Dr. Cory’s skirt that matches her lab coat. Perhaps because at last she’s wearing something that doesn’t remind us of salmon squares.
Andrew Leal
October 27th, 2009 at 2:06 am
Niall: That’s Dodd, as in Ed Dodd, the original Mark Trail artist/author. Jack Elrod was Dodd’s long-time assistant who got co-credit for awhile (Dodd delegated the lettering and background art to elrod while handling the animals, people, and main layouts and plotting and so on). Elrod then took over fully around 1978, which definitely seems to date this artifact, but I think Dodd may have continued to get strip credit for a little while afterwards.
You can tell Elrod was the guiding spirit on the caption arrangement here, though. Thirty years later or so, he still has an, ahem, unique approach to dialogue balloon placement. I think in this case he didn’t want to cover up the geese or deer. Since Dodd signed it, and given the size, it may have been a collaboration or even one of Dodd’s last occasions to mark time on the old trail (ahem). I’ll try to dig into this further at some point.
It’s Elrod who’s wholly responsible, by the way, for Rusty, Sassy, and Kelly Welly (who we haven’t seen in some years, fortunately).
Uncle Lumpy
October 27th, 2009 at 2:19 am
Sinners in the hands of an angry Jumble– Part II:
(Warning: Jumble spoiler)
AROMA tempts, and we are led
To WEDGE down food like Mammon’s slaves.
What MISERY may lie ahead
But PEPTIC ulcers, and our graves.
The sinful WAY can offer no ESCAPE –
Eschew it now, ere Hell’s vast chasm gape!
Lucky
October 27th, 2009 at 4:15 am
Marmaduke – “…such as my old stash of Jewish gold.”
One Big Happy – Shut up, Ruthie! I’m more interested in what the heck Joe is doing.
Safe Havens – He seems surprisingly fine with going on a date with someone wearing a fursuit. I believe he’d get my vote for that.
Slylock Fox – Boy, is this another grim six differences or what? Look at the grim faces and the restaurant that apparently stops serving seafood between panels. This is obviously a bleak commentary on overfishing. Only the diver is smiling, but that’s probably only because he can’t see out of his helmet and is thus blissfully unaware of the deserted sea.
Indichik
October 27th, 2009 at 4:17 am
Hoorary, I’m on the float for the first time ever! It feels exactly how I always imagined it would. I did always somewhat suspect most of my biggest accomplishments would be Ziggy-related.
OMJulie
October 27th, 2009 at 4:52 am
Congrats to the COTWers!
I would like to point out that today’s Gil Thorpe is probably the gayest Gil Thorpe that I’ve ever seen, and that includes the entire homoerotic chainsaw storyline. I’m also pretty sure today’s Judge Parker is about ever more complex varieties of sexual couplings, but I’m not quite sure how. Meanwhile, today’s Luann is about pooing.
Today’s comics page is unconscionably filthy, is what I’m trying to say.
One bright spot, as usual, is Pearls Before Swine, in which Pastis continues his cautionary tale about the dangers of buying half-price psychedelics.
Ed Dravecky
October 27th, 2009 at 5:35 am
Wow, it’s nice to be up on the float with all these funny folks. With Monday’s “Funky Winkerbean” and “Garfield” (adjacent on my comics page at the mighty Chron) both ending with ringing doorbells, I’m hoping for wacky crossover plotlines like Garfield announcing “I hate getting cancer on Mondays”.
Naked Bunny with a Whip
October 27th, 2009 at 5:52 am
Congrats to the winners and winneresses!
MolyBendum
October 27th, 2009 at 5:54 am
Crock – Where indeed! Seeing as how this is ostensibly the middle of Desert, Nowhere and Maggot’s job is to stand in a hole and dig himself deeper daily. Charged her $500 for a rose on her pubic (no…not a mound) hill? Well how’d you like to be the tattoo artist who inked Grossie’s nether-regions? I think you’re gonna hafta shop around too, Mag ol’ buddy.
Herb & Jamaal – Is that a pile of steaming chili in your pants or are you just happy to see me?
Six Chix – I wish Shulock would do this every week, and it could be like “What if Margo had kids?” That’d be soul-crushingly hilarious.
Hmmm. Wikipedia says Margaret Shulock grew up in the same town as my dad at about the same time and lives 20 minutes from where my parents live. Well that’s nifty. You learn something new every day.
MolyBendum
October 27th, 2009 at 6:06 am
Pluggers – Hey look, every single stinking person who doesn’t put a cup in their cupholder is a Plugger. That’s one way to extend your “fan” base.
–You know, I’m sure the pluggermail email account password is something foolproof, like ‘brookins’ or ‘plgr1234′. Wouldn’t it be fun to get a hold of that for a few days?
When this comes in :
Dear Mr. Brookins,
My wife and I love to read your comic every mornin before I go to my job at the saw mill. Theres nothing like 6 buttered biscits, 4 pancakes, 4 eggs, 5 strips of bacon, 4 peaces of toast, 8 sausage links and a Pluggers to really start my day! My idea for your comic is maybe to have one of your chicken ladys lookin for change in her car! I am always lookin for change in my car when I really need it! I am such a Plugger! Thank you very much sir.
Sincerly,
Dave Kaufman
It gets this reply:
Dear Dave,
We’d be happy to put your idea into a cartoon right away! All we need from you is a one time fee of 39 cents to cover the cost of the stamp it used to cost to mail in your suggestion. If you just email us your credit card number and expiration date, we’ll take care of all the details for you! It’s that easy! Remember, we’re here for you, Dave! Pluggers forever!
Sincerely,
The Pluggers Team
–Hmpff, screw pluggers.
smacky
October 27th, 2009 at 7:29 am
At least Funky can take some comfort in the fact that his doppelgänger is on the police force.
Vince M
October 27th, 2009 at 7:56 am
I read “Luann” right after “The Knight Life”, and I’m worried that Marvinism is spreading.
Fusco Bros: uh, Gloria, you’re barking up the wrong tree there…
Sheila Sternwell
October 27th, 2009 at 7:57 am
FW: I checked in to see if Cory (or whoever it is, I honestly don’t know who that kid belongs to) was dead, and sadly, no, he was not. But Funky in panel 2 looks like Crankshaft in a startling way. We’ll probably find out at the end of these strips that Crank IS Funky, circa 2049.
Amateur
October 27th, 2009 at 8:07 am
#23 — Wow, nicely done, Uncle Lumpy!
wanders
October 27th, 2009 at 8:07 am
MW: Adrian, you’ll be an even bigger mess if that top-heavy medical equipment tips over and lands on your head.
MolyBendum
October 27th, 2009 at 8:33 am
– Dick Tracy –
My god…time and continuity are absolutely meaningless in Dicktracyland. For four weeks we watched as assorted company went back and forth in a three minute conversation. Then Tracy is in the cage for a week saying “Oh my, I’m helpless, we’re done for, it’s over, we’re finished, etc…..” Then he’s out and the cops are there. But really, only about 30 seconds has passed between the holding of the tiger’s tail – which happened simultaneously with the phone call to the police – and Tracy being lifted out by the Deli. So again it’s the magic wormhole funneling people in to augment a pointless story for a pointless result. Why have the cops show up? Why not just have Tracy blast Idiot Von Clownynose into whatever realm of postmortem philosophical malaise is reserved for arms dealing, embezzling, faux circus clowns? Anyways, what the hell kind of cop shows up and says “Hey, what can I do for you and oh by the way maybe not point that gun at me please thanks”? So many questions, so much indifference….only in Dicktracyland.
– Rex Morgan –
Hmmmm….So you’re a bad guy with two lost people who can’t remember “anything“. What to do, what to do. You could taunt them for the joy of taunting them… Beat them for the joy of beating them… Rape them for the joy of raping them… But no, not Cueball. I have a feeling he’s turning a corner here: He’s going to pull out One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish, hand it to the old lady and curl up on the floor in a fetal position as she reads, the old man gently stroking his head and him giggling at the thought of cats on his head when she gets to that part. He’ll fall into a peaceful slumber and the old coots will have a moment of sparkling clarity where they remember how to make their own jello. And everyone will live happily ever after. Except Tim and Becka, who will be doomed to drive the rainy night roads in a futile search for old people, caught in the interminably awkward conversation of partial acquaintances, which I’m sure is just like in some Twilight Zone episode that I can’t quite remember.
Techie
October 27th, 2009 at 8:49 am
Ed Dodd, Mark Trail’s creator, lived in Gainesville, GA for many years up till his death.
Currently there is a Mark Trail exhibit going on at the Northeast Georgia History Center:
http://www.negahc.org/exhibits/mark_trail/
buckyswife
October 27th, 2009 at 9:06 am
MW: Don’t be too hard on Adrian; in panel two, she’s simply trying to calm her face.
A3G: What I wonder about today’s strip: Is Pill-Poppin’ Bobbie hallucinating all those blue ladies around her? Or, in the spirit of Halloween, have the streets of Manhattan been invaded by hordes of ghostly 50s-era shoppers?
JP: “And by ‘behaves,’ I mean ‘doesn’t interfere with the hoped-for Abby/Godiva/Sultan menage.’”
MT: The world-weary owl, of course, symbolizes the jaded, cynical reader; he has seen it all: gator killing, unwilling—and willing!—poaching, bill paying. And he knows, from long and tired experience, what is to come: mistakes, discovery, and the lurid excitement of righteous fisticuffs. “Ah,” says the owl, speaking for us all, “who cares?”
Mordock999
October 27th, 2009 at 9:32 am
Today’s Luann 10/27/09
Outside the DeGroot House on Halloween Night
Alice – “Wha’d YOU get Stanley?”
Stan- “I got these CRAPPY tastin’ Bran Muffins! Wha’d you get Alice?”
Rachel – “I got these DAMNED Jig-Saw puzzle pieces that DON’T (SNIFF) FIT anything!”
Stan – “DOGONE, those DeGroots! EVERY year, the SAME CRAP! I say we GET’EM this year! I got my dad’s chain-saw! Lets CUT that tree down so it FALLS on their house and cause MAJOR structural damage!”
Rachel- “No lets throw these ‘green-eggs’ my Grandaddy bought back from Viet-Nam, thru their front window. Grandaddy said just PULL the pin, THROW ‘EM, then RUN like HELL! What do you THINK Uncle Elwood?”
Elwood – “Ah thinks we should have the house CON-DEMNED, the DeGroots E-VICTED, an the area RE-ZONED fo’ BUSINESS, ’specially since their daughter give muh ring back an IN-SULTED me! Then I’ll Build a Chucky-Chesse an Throw uh FREE Halloween party fo’ Ya’ll next Year!!!”
Stan & Rachel – “HOORAY for Uncle ELWOOD!”
____________________________
DEATH to TJ and those Tree-Hugging DeGroots!!!
Sequitur
October 27th, 2009 at 9:38 am
S4th – Sally’s thinking about the characters from The Cat in the Hat. Ted’s thinking about the 1951 and 1982 productions of The Thing.
They can be a couple costume and be indepentent at the same time!
Will
October 27th, 2009 at 9:45 am
Luann: Looks like the DeGroots want to get egged.
MolyBendum
October 27th, 2009 at 9:55 am
ddfsdg @41 for COTW! (that’s some pretty half-hearted spam right there)
Anyways this gives me a chance to say congrats to the COTWrs for the week, which I forgot to do earlier. Funny!
LUJBEM FEJF
October 27th, 2009 at 10:02 am
Jumble- Look, Josh’s cellmate is a reader.
B. Racoon
October 27th, 2009 at 10:16 am
Every have one of those days?
Muffaroo
October 27th, 2009 at 10:18 am
A3G – Bobbie understands the first rule of real estate: if you get enough dirt, it adds up and becomes property!
Beetle – “Don’t take too long with that brush, Zero! I’m using it next.”
Dick – These silhouettes sure save a heap of having to look at Mr. Pops.
Family – It starts with a “D.” I heard your mom say it the other day. Oh yeah, Dildosaurus.
Gil – Looks like Duncan Daly’s getting his daily dunkin’. If you know what I mean!
Marmaduke – “See the boots? Old Mrs. Timm put them on her porch to try and make Marmaduke think there was a big man protecting her.”
Marfield – The Milking continues.
1Big – “So… what kind of bait ya using?”
Pluggers keep their junk in their cup. Ewwwww.
Shoe – Captions that match the expressions (continued):
“Flat tire. Ran over a milk bottle.”
“How’d you do that?”
“I didn’t see it… The little rat had it under his coat.”
Zits – The best part is, Jeremy’s perfectly safe from his zombie parents. They eat brains.
Uncle Lumpy @23 – God’s angry because he doesn’t get enough of your doctrine-rich poetry.
B. Racoon
October 27th, 2009 at 10:22 am
Me @45. I’m so shook up I can not even spell “Ever.” I must be asking “y.”
buckyswife
October 27th, 2009 at 10:29 am
45 B. Racoon: Wow. That raccoon needs to cut back on the stink bugs. And the merlot. Waaaay back.
B. Racoon
October 27th, 2009 at 10:32 am
buckyswife @48. I’ll cut back when you cut back.
B. Racoon
October 27th, 2009 at 10:42 am
buckyswife – I apologize for the flippant remark. I’m a bit stressed out. After all, how would you feel if some dame grabbed you and stretched you out beyond your natural limits. I am most embarrased because I allowed myself to be lured in by a bowl of fine baluga caviar that had been processed malassol, that is, with little salt. And then… well, I just don’t want to talk about it.
the good ship thetis
October 27th, 2009 at 11:02 am
Cool. I’m on the float. I…I think I’m a little sick. How fast is this thing going?
Uncle Lumpy @ 24: The Mark Trail owl sits in judgement on us all.
Hank
October 27th, 2009 at 11:09 am
RE: Luann. Look, Mrs. DeGroot, if you don’t want to hand out treats just turn off the lights. That’s a whole lot better than making something that ninety percent of the kids’ parents will throw away.
Sequitur
October 27th, 2009 at 11:13 am
Re: Luann – I understand that Elwood’s gonna hand out engagement rings on Halloween.
Old School Allie Cat
October 27th, 2009 at 11:16 am
S4th – This brings up an interesting question for me…are any Mudges dressing up for Halloween? And if so, as what? My workplace has encouraged us to dress up on Friday and I’ll be coming as a Zombie Prom Queen. I’m pretty stoked.
MW – As much as I hate to admit this, I am a firm believer in talking to those who are comatose/heavily sedated. When my father was sick last year, we kept telling him to NOT walk toward any bright lights. It made us feel better. And he survived, so… coincidence? I think not.
Sequitur
October 27th, 2009 at 11:25 am
Our corporation (around 1000 people) is having a costume contest this Friday with individual prizes from $50 – $125 and group prizes of $75 to $250. We have about 20 people in our department and the gal who tends to organize parties and such asked at one of our group meetings if we all would like to have a themed costume. We all looked at her and answered in unison, “NO!” She was flustered and muttered something about us being sticks in the mud and then she asked us, “Why?” And we said “Because we’re all adults!”
buckyswife
October 27th, 2009 at 11:28 am
53 Old School Allie Cat: I agree with you; when my dad was dying last year, the hospice people encouraged us to talk to him, play music he liked, etc., even though he was not apparently conscious. And immediately after my mom told him that it was okay for him to go, he died. So yeah—Scott can probably hear every banal utterance that comes out of Adrian’s mouth. Poor guy.
Jumper
October 27th, 2009 at 11:29 am
Say, Josh, what are you reading?
FOR???
Will
October 27th, 2009 at 11:39 am
51, Hank: exactly. The poisoned/tampered halloween treat thing has been around for decades, no parent with half a brain would let their kids keep a home made bran muffin. Even if the kids did want it, which they wouldn’t.
Muffaroo
October 27th, 2009 at 11:40 am
buckyswife @55 – Same here, January before last when all Mom’s kids hurried over at the news she’d stopped eating. We sat around the bedside and told her all the things we needed to, including that it was okay to go. We were getting set to go back the next morning and got the call.
commodorejohn
October 27th, 2009 at 11:41 am
Crankshaft – I wonder what the dialogue was like before the syndicate got to it…
DT – Wow. The plot is moving forward. Imagine that.
F- – “Most of us know what we should expect to find in a dragon’s lair, but, as I said before, Eustace had read only the wrong books. They had a lot to say about exports and imports and governments and drains, but they were weak on dragons.”
FC – Oh man, what did they do to the poor Stegosaurus’s head!?
FW – Woo, hooray, time for more beating on Batiuk’s favorite teenage punching bag. How many kittens did he rape this time, officer?
GT – Um…huh. The surprise lines coming off of the other player say a lot.
JP – See, you could maybe interpret this as a hint that Godiva might be a recurring character, but I kind of doubt it, because that would just be too interesting.
Luann – Look, why don’t you just cut to the chase and hand out little notes that say “we are living proof that you will almost inevitably become hideously dull as you age?”
MT – Agent Owl is disgusted. Disgusted.
Monty – Psst, Merrick, if you’re going to throw around actual part numbers, it might behoove you to look up the 8088. You might learn some things in the process. Like, say, that it was most definitely not a memory chip.
PBS – I love this strip.
RMMD – Ooh! As a break from the standard Rex Morgan Nostril-Cam, today’s strip offers up an extreme beard close-up! Woo!
Edison Lee – It’s okay, Gramps, I don’t think he knows either. Or Hambrock, for that matter. They’re just throwing around sciencey names in an attempt to distract from the fact that this strip is mostly a collection of vaguely union-Democrat hobo ramblings.
bats :[
October 27th, 2009 at 11:46 am
DT: gotta admit, I like the Clown Noir mood (or should that be “Bouffon Noir”?
Luann: I get really tired of crap like this. If you don’t want to give kids candy (or things like stickers or temporary tattoos, which, at least in my neighborhood, are REALLY cool and will be chosen over candy, even little *chocolate* bars (yeah, Philistines-in-training, but I digress), just shut the fuck up and turn your lights off on Halloween or go out for the evening. Chances are most kids aren’t going to waste time walking up to a dark house, and you can feel all nice and superior for single-handedly staving off childhood obesity.
Mrs. D wins the Luann asshat-of-the-week award (which usually has pretty intense competition). Yeah, this might’ve been going for the “fiber” joke, but a little box of raisins would do the same thing.
9CL: other than the head-twisting requirement, this was really sweet and funny. See, Brooke, it CAN be done!
TheDiva
October 27th, 2009 at 11:47 am
BaBl: I dunno, makes as much sense as half the punchlines on the comics pages these days.
FW: Officer, you’re in Funkytown. You need all the help you can get.
Luann: Hey, if you keep this up, eventually kids will know to skip your house altogether.
(Isn’t it standard protocol to toss out any treats that aren’t factory wrapped? Or were my parents just paranoid?)
MW: “But first, I have to wait until the novocane the dentist gave me wears off…”
Steve the Pocket
October 27th, 2009 at 11:49 am
@#41: A bran muffin is not candyyyyyyyy!
A puzzle piece is not candyyyyyyyy!
This comic is not funyyyyyyyy!
JUGGA JIGGA WUGGA
Marthas Rolling Pin
October 27th, 2009 at 11:54 am
Clambake sighting!!
Jimmy Fingers
October 27th, 2009 at 11:58 am
Here’s some very good work by a Simpsons devotee:
http://springfieldpunx.blogspot.com/2009/10/theyll-never-take-our-freedom.html
Aviatrix
October 27th, 2009 at 12:05 pm
JP: The look in his eye as he says “Godiva and Abbey are hitting it off!” absolutely adds “… if you know what I mean.”
RM: Cue’s friend looks like he’s setting this strip up for a Mark Trail crossover. Just wait for the furniture to start talking.
Darkefang
October 27th, 2009 at 12:15 pm
#61 – TheDiva
“Luann: Hey, if you keep this up, eventually kids will know to skip your house altogether.
(Isn’t it standard protocol to toss out any treats that aren’t factory wrapped? Or were my parents just paranoid?)”
No, they weren’t paranoid. That was the standard back when I was a kid in the 80s, and I’m sure parents were throwing away homemade items years before that.
Even though there haven’t ever been any actual cases of people poisoning Halloween treats or sticking razors in apples, the potential is enough to make most parents figure it wasn’t worth dealing with strange food items, especially when most kids end up with ten times more candy than they really need in the first place.
Also, I live in Southern Indiana, which is chock full of the rabid anti-Halloween religious types who go around scaring children about demons eating their souls if they go trick-or-treating. Lacing kid’s treats to discredit Halloween is something that wouldn’t surprise me.
Poteet
October 27th, 2009 at 12:50 pm
9CL — Actually, Amos, your own fleshly beast may not always function the way it does now, so maybe you should…
Arrgh, brain bleach time.
Cee Ell
October 27th, 2009 at 12:51 pm
Speaking of Mark Train sightings…
… and Blondie fantasies, for that matter.
Uncle Lumpy
October 27th, 2009 at 12:55 pm
The great thing about Halloween is the way it subverts religious poseurs on their own terms. Fear of devil-worship apparently persists in some pockets, but the cant now tends toward secular messages: ooh it’s so commercial and ooh childhood obesity. Madison, WI had an outbreak of ooh we must not offend the spirit-worshipping Hmong! a few years back, until a Hmong grandmother got on the TV news and said, basically, “What are you people, nuts? It’s Halloween!”
Calico
October 27th, 2009 at 1:02 pm
It’s almost Halloween, so I’m certain the candy in FW-land will have cancer.
Poteet
October 27th, 2009 at 1:06 pm
BF — When I was a kid (she says, waving her cane), I did my OWN damn homework. This strip annoys me so much I should probably give it up.
Poteet
October 27th, 2009 at 1:11 pm
# 69 Uncle Lumpy — A couple of threads back, you postulated a brilliant theory about how less is more in the Funkiverse. Thanks for giving me a great rationale for ill-wishing all the characters. For a start, I’d rather see a giant flaming meteor fall on the house than have to watch several days of arguing over Cory’s evil deeds, whatever they turn out to have been this time.
Sequitur
October 27th, 2009 at 1:12 pm
71. Poteet
I guess BF is Between Friends. I always glossed over this and never took the time to read it until now. I’ll remind myself not to read it again. There something too Elly Pattersonish about that gal.
bats :[
October 27th, 2009 at 1:12 pm
53. OSAC: I gotta learn to read for comprehension, not speed. I thought you were going to dress as a Zombie Porn Queen.
I have a pair of velvet bat wings (yay! yard sale find!) that I’m going to wear when handing out candy.
Old School Allie Cat
October 27th, 2009 at 1:14 pm
There are quite a few dentists around the country who offer to buy excess candy from the kiddos a few days after Halloween at a per pound price – then donate the candy to organizations who make care packages for our soldiers and service personnel overseas.
What is this world coming to, I ask you? “Leftover candy”? That’s one of those mythical phrases like “enough sleep” or “too much champagne”.
Sequitur
October 27th, 2009 at 1:15 pm
74. bats :[
FANGS! You need FANGS!
blammers66
October 27th, 2009 at 1:15 pm
I love the Vaudeville shtick that Batuik is working in today’s FunkWink: The officer coyly keeps the kid out of sight so he can deliver his first line straight, then yank the kid into the door frame to slam home his zinger! (The astounded look on Funky’s face is verification that the cop has done his job.) “Hey, thanks, I’m fine, but … YOINK! Your kid is a nutcase! Whackity-schmackity-doo!”
Aviatrix
October 27th, 2009 at 1:16 pm
Poteet@71: Exactly! I am completely baffled by my child-rearing friends talking about helping their kids with their homework. If my parents helped me with mine it was along the lines of finding me some craft materials or getting the typewriter off a high shelf for me. Have I repressed the memory of my parents doing my long division for me? I don’t think so, because I remember being slightly contemptuous of my parents for not knowing the things I did.
My plan was to never forget anything I learned in school, so I wouldn’t be stupid like my parents. As it stands, I usually remember not to eat the glue.
Artist formerly known as Ben
October 27th, 2009 at 1:41 pm
10/27
Ah. I just took a massive hit offf your love bong. Or I had some good laughs at the Comments of the Week, if that sounds less weird. Anyway, forward.
BB: Shit rolling downhill? Now I believe this is the army.
9CL: Taking my time blah blah blah. Fixing in my memory yadda yadda. Hey, the next time Edda asks what your smiling at, save us all a lot of time and say “Your crotch.”
Phantom: I like the fact that Ghost-Who-Drops-In-On-Heads-of-State thinks it’s impossible to link Diana to him because she champions human rights. “Me, on the other hand, I’m a violent fascist thug in a disturbing wetsuit.”
A3G: Ah, J Edgar Hoover. You were finally reborn into that female body you always resented. Less power, of course, but you still have the same instincts.
H&J: Ha ha, it’s funny because Herb has painful third degree burns across his lower body.
PBS: A weird but satisfying payoff.
C-Shaft: Crankshaft will indulge these Paddy-come-lately Hibernian emigres and their heathen ways for one night. But you can be damn sure he’ll remind you of the sacrifice he’s making.
FB: I’m assuming “Comfortably Replete” is one of the song titles Pink Floyd rejected before hitting the right adjective.
BC: That’s how you can tell it’s prehistoric times. Home video and the internet haven’t driven porn theatres out of business yet.
DT: Yes, rookie cop. Blithely follow the hideous clown with the pocket size gun. If you don’t get killed and eaten on this case, it’s only a matter of time.
JP: Now Steve won’t hear anything else Sam says to him all day. “Clemency request for the death row inmate. Yeah, yeah, sure. Hey, could we get back to how well Godiva and Abbey are hitting it off?”
bats :[
October 27th, 2009 at 1:45 pm
I’m pretty fed up with BF. I thought it was beyond Elly Patterson, but it isn’t, really. I’ll look at it maybe once or twice a week, but it’s not on my regulars list.
I did my own homework (sort of self-defense — if I let my mom do a little, she’d do it all, and then I’d be guilt-tripped when I told her I had to do it myself and she’d retaliate with how ungrateful I was…).
76. Sequitur: who says I don’t have fangs? :[
But I don’t. It would be cool to have them. Well, and a tattoo, too.
(Have fake fangs, aside from the expensive prosthetic ones, evolved beyond the little plastic horrors that prevented you from eating/drinking/talking so that you could be understood/closing your mouth completely?)
I’m thinking of making Cocoa Krispie Treats for Halloween (although we have a metric buttload of candy –hurray for Walgreen’s and a messed up scanner that made $2/bag candy ring up at $0.78!) and giving neighbors the option of having them. If not, I know they won’t go to waste in our house.
Sequitur
October 27th, 2009 at 1:51 pm
80. bats :[
I guess every man, woman and child could do with a good pair of fangs.
How about Count Chocula treats?
Comcis Fan
October 27th, 2009 at 1:58 pm
S4th: This looks like it’s playing out as I predicted. These two have forgotten that the Schwallers are friends with Aria, who surely has not forgotten Ted and Sally’s weirdness around her at the New Year’s Eve Party last year.
http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20081231&name=Sally_Forth
http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20090101&name=Sally_Forth
As I thought, Ted and Sally will go in non-couple costumes. Aria will look stunning in some sci-fi get-up that complements, nay completes, Ted’s costume. Sally will be wearing something clever — clever clever, not sexy clever. It won’t be pretty for Sally and Ted, who already are lacking in the “love life” department.
FW: Cory Winkerbean seems to be the only person in town who realizes the hopelessness that is Westview. Run, Cory, run!
queek
October 27th, 2009 at 2:00 pm
Basement Cat knows where Baka Gaijan sleeps.
http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2009/10/funny-pictures-basement-cat-knows-your-fears.jpg
(NSFBG)
hey, B. Raccoon, did you see that “merlot” pic that I posted for you a few days back? :-)
AirForbes
October 27th, 2009 at 2:00 pm
“The case involves some legal sketchiness, since the Cherokee Nation probably had jurisdiction and Georgia hung George while things were being appealed, but still, no one wants that downer at their crafts festival, and it’s now known as the Mule Camp Market.”
That’s too bad, because this sounds like the perfect historical festival for Mark Trail – frontier-style justice, lack of due process. These are things that Mark appreciates. I like to think that Mark’s great-great-great-great-great grandfather punched ol’ Tassel’s facial hair off before he went to the gallows.
Baka Gaijin
October 27th, 2009 at 2:10 pm
One Big Happy: Damn, Joe’s a fisherman for the Bum Boat. Toilet tilapia on toast anyone?
Gil Thorp, panel 3: Is that a hip bobble?
Oh, who am I kidding, humping, that’s what it is.Previous sentence striken from record due to redundancy.Baka Gaijin
October 27th, 2009 at 2:10 pm
#83 queek: Thanks for the warning. Another link I’m not clicking. No sir, nuh uh.
the good ship thetis
October 27th, 2009 at 2:20 pm
#66 – Growing up in Kentucky, where we bow to no one (not even Alabama!) in our religious nuttiness, I had a neighbor who gave out every year on Halloween a penny and a little pamphlet to the effect that if you weren’t born again you were going to burn in hell.
Zombies, chainsaw murderers, vampires — nothing, nothing is scarier than being 8 years old and being told that you’re going to burn in hell for something that isn’t even your own fault.
Hank
October 27th, 2009 at 2:26 pm
RE the good ship thetis, October 27th, 2009 at 2:20 pm . Oh no, they weren’t Jack Chick pamplets, were they?
bats :[
October 27th, 2009 at 2:41 pm
88. Hank: from your URL citation:
“We gave a ‘Happy Halloween’ to a teen and watched him read it. We then went over and led him to the Lord.”
Oh, so many possibilities here…
Dingo
October 27th, 2009 at 2:43 pm
I saw today’s Archie and really didn’t know what to say. I have seen far too many gay porn scenes that begin in this fashion and Archie and Jughead and NOT the two men I want to imagine here. Moose and Milton? Sure. If the room is gonna smell of ass and Doritos, gimme something interesting.
Dingo
October 27th, 2009 at 2:44 pm
Apt. 3G is confusing me. I thought that Dr. Papagoras was the gift basket of Manhattan. Or was that “gifted basket?” These days, you never know in the plot.
Fashion Police
October 27th, 2009 at 2:47 pm
#74, bats :[ said:
You are not the only one.
We shan’t be “dressing up” for Hallowe’en. However, if past experience is any judge, there are some who will mistake taste and decorum for costume. It is a burden we bear with equanimity.
Batman Beatles
October 27th, 2009 at 2:49 pm
#87 – I once got one of those and they are indeed scary. It was about Demons trying to get some guy to die before he gets saved.
Jumper
October 27th, 2009 at 2:55 pm
There have been scary pamphlet-wielders in the movies. Extra bonus prize to name 3 of those movies.
Steve the Pocket
October 27th, 2009 at 2:59 pm
@#80, bats :[ – Well, I feel silly; it took that post to make me realize what the bracket was meant to resemble.
buckyswife
October 27th, 2009 at 3:09 pm
Dingo: How is your dad? Better, I hope.
Mibbitmaker
October 27th, 2009 at 3:09 pm
MST3K-style Snarks of the Day:
MT: “Hi, I’m Mr. Owl. I’m really tiring of this storyline. This has been your Moment of Wisdom. God bless.”
Marm: WE KNOW!
UncleJeff
October 27th, 2009 at 3:14 pm
97 Mibbitmaker: I prefer to think the Andersons are onto us. A little fan service for the ‘mudgeons.
Sequitur
October 27th, 2009 at 3:17 pm
86. Baka Gaijin
I got to admit that Queek’s clown @83 is one of the least scary clowns I’ve ever seen. Right up there with Jack in the Box™.
(For those of you on the east coast, unless you’re in North or South Carolina, there are no Jack in the Box restaurants and may not know what I’m talking about. Shoot, most of the time I don’t know what I’m talking about.)
The Spirit-Worshipping Hmong!
October 27th, 2009 at 3:32 pm
Halloween is OK, but Funky Winkerbean disrespects my ancestors.
hogenmogen
October 27th, 2009 at 3:37 pm
I just got back from a vacation. The hotel had a concierge. He even had a little sign that said “Concierge”. Wow, that’s amazing artwork, A3G.
Anyway, it amazes me how absolutely little has actually occurred in the strips. Cory made it home with the help of the local constable, FC is still full of stupid. Two old farts are still in some bald punk’s cabin. Jughead and Archie just had sex. Archie is still in denial, but Jug is cool with keeping secrets, provided they go for it again – this time with a reach-around. Sandman is still being extorted by Big Shit. JP essentially went in reverse, pulling us back to the Rocky and Godiva story. In A3G, people, places and furniture float around aimlessly without anything approaching resolution, so any plot advancement is merely the reader’s dilusion into fantasy.
As for my vacation, it was nice. I tried really hard, but apparently there are one or two microbreweries in the state of Colorado that I didn’t drink in.
Sequitur
October 27th, 2009 at 3:38 pm
Funky Winkerbean disrespects all ancestors and those to come after us.
Old School Allie Cat
October 27th, 2009 at 3:59 pm
#74 bats :[ and #92 Fashion Police –
Porn Queen? Well, actually, that would be a whole lot funnier, but I don’t have that much white pancake makeup/fake blood.
And the prom dress is circa 1993, so it covers sufficiently, though calling it tasteful otherwise would be a stretch – though the earring and gloves I’m wearing match perfectly!
Poteet
October 27th, 2009 at 7:01 pm
# 73 Sequitur — Yes, I should have written out the name, since most Mudges don’t seem to read it, for reasons that become ever clearer to me. I started reading it back when there was a kind-of-interesting storyline about domestic violence. Now I continue reading it because…um…because…
# 78 Aviatrix — Bwahahaha! Yeah, I planned to stay brilliant myself. Now I feel wonderful if I can even find the glue.
Come to think of it, there was one occasion when I was having real trouble with math, and my father decided to help me. He tried his best and so did I, but sometimes parent-child lesson combos just don’t work. One advantage of doing my own homework the rest of the time was that the only person I ended up being annoyed with was myself.
Écureuil Écumant
October 27th, 2009 at 8:47 pm
A3G: Strangely, the ghosts are a much more diverse and animated bunch than any of the foreground characters in this strip. I particularly like the lady with the archery-target eyes in the second panel. Evidently she and Bobbie spent a few minutes in the hotel room before hitting the street.
MT: Panel 1: I see they’ve upgraded to the new Harmon-Kardon monitor stand with loads of room for your CDs on the bottom shelves. Panel 2: Talk to tha hand, girlfriend.
RMMDMA: I already told you guys this with Second Officer Guido. If you’re gonna show someone smoking, at least make it a spliff.
Cliff Arroyo
October 28th, 2009 at 4:47 am
I just had a thought ….. Bobbie is looking for her louse husband and ‘whom he’s doing it with’.*
Is it possible that this is Margot’s step-mom (has she been shown before)?
Wouldn’t that be awesome? Not totally lame? Vaguely more interesting than whatever non-entity her husband turns out to be?
*I love Bobbie, strung out on her addiction and weary from attempts at emotionally manipulating people she cares nothing for, she _still_ remembers to think ‘whom’…. she may be a goofball fiend but she has breeding.